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Jeff and Britta are tipsily laughing over the weird coffee mugs at Goodwill–Jeff's current favorite being a squirrel in a pin-up pose that reads "Feelin Squirrelly?" in curly, red font while Britta prefers the one that reads "Happy 83st Birthday" –when he finds The Mug. It's just sitting there, innocently, behind three vastly different Santa mugs. All he can see while it's on the shelf is "DEAN", but then he has to know the rest. Upon further inspection, the plain white mug says "WORLD'S BEST DEAN!" There's even an exclamation point–Craig loves exclamation points.
Jeff's first mistake is taking it off the shelf to begin with.
His second is not putting it back and hiding it away before Britta looks over and immediately cackles hard enough for tears to bloom in the corners of her eyes. "Jeff! It's perfect!"
"Yeah…" Jeff replies, stressing his lack of enthusiasm as he tries to shove the mug back on the shelf. Britta darts out a hand to stop him.
"You can't just put that back!"
Jeff raises an eyebrow. "Why not?"
"I told you, it's perfect! It's even got an exclamation point!!"
"So?"
"Sooooooooo you have to buy it for the Dean!"
"Why me?"
"Well, for starters, I don't have a dollar-fifty…" Britta rolls her eyes at the immediate and genuine look of concern Jeff gives her before adding, "on me! Screw you, Jeff, I'm not that broke! Besides, you're the one who found it."
"No."
"Why not?" Britta whines.
"Because," Jeff replies slowly and patiently, like he's explaining the situation to a toddler… a drunk toddler, "then he'll know I like him."
Britta's startled gasp makes the hairs on the back of Jeff's neck stand up. Judging by her expression, he'd screwed up somewhere... Unfortunately, the fact he was tipsy enough to let her talk him into this little outing means he's not quite sober enough to distinguish nuances between words like "think" and "know". Or maybe he'd just put a little too much emphasis on "like". Or maybe Britta was just doing that thing she does where she reads too far into everything with disastrous results. Whatever the cause, he does not like her expression.
"Jeff! We are talking about the same Dean, right? Like… the Dean of Greendale? The one who isn't exactly some hot chick?" Britta tries and fails to subtly whisper.
"Um… yes, yes, and depends on the day, but since when has that mattered?" Jeff replies, eyebrows raised because how was this the thing that broke Britta? He hasn't seen her look this confused since they'd flunked geometry together.
Britta points at him and then shakes her head and then raises her finger like she's going to make a speech and then lowers it again, looking completely lost.
Jeff sighs and decides to help her out. Or, rather, help himself out. He's hoping that "revealing" his sexuality–which he'd thought was common knowledge to begin with–will distract her from any alleged feelings towards the Dean. "Britta. You know I'm not straight, right?"
Britta looks down and her voice is surprisingly small when she says, "But you kept telling Pierce you weren't gay."
"Because I'm not! It's not… they're… I'm too drunk for this." Jeff sighs, running a hand through his hair. This was going to be harder than he thought, and with Britta of all people! He can practically hear sober Britta going on about "compulsive heteronormativity", but he worries his tongue will trip over the words and derail his point. Instead he settles for simple and understandable. "I like sex!"
There's an overexaggerated gasp from the other end of the aisle, and an old woman fixes them with a dirty stare. Jeff and Britta flip her off in tandem.
Still, Jeff lowers his voice a little when he continues. "Just. Sometimes, I like that sex to be with men. And… you really didn't know that?"
Britta shakes her head.
"You really didn't, did you?" Jeff stares at her, half surprised, half annoyed. "You really didn't pick up on my flings with Duncan? Or my thing with Rich? Or that time with Abed?"
"I picked up on that one," Abed offers, helpfully, from behind them. Both of them jump. "And Rich. I hadn't accounted for Duncan, but I can see now where he could fit into your origin story."
Based on Britta's face, she really hadn't picked up on any of it. Guilt swirls in Jeff's stomach because he never would've outed Abed if he hadn't been sure she–hell, everyone–already knew they'd been together, but Abed shoots him a wink and a grin from behind the toddler-sized Yoda plushie he's carrying, so that at least is okay for the time being.
But everything else is getting to be a little too much, and the mugs don't really seem so funny anymore. Jeff mumbles something about waiting in the car before jamming his hands in his pockets and making his way towards the exit. He's so focused on keeping his distance from any judgmental old ladies that he startles when he hears his name.
Jeff turns around to see Annie–who he'd forgotten was even there–smiling nervously at him. She thrusts something at his chest, and he grabs for it out of instinct. Apparently he has some self preservation though he desperately wishes it had shown itself far, far earlier in the evening–like before he'd told Britta why he couldn't buy the mug or before letting her see it at all, or, even better, before he'd gotten drunk and agreed to come along.
"I think… I think you should get this for the Dean," Annie says. Jeff groans when he realizes he's holding The Mug. "I mean it! You've known he's liked you for six years now. Maybe it's time to even the score a little?"
Jeff gives her a resigned sigh. She gives him a pat and a kiss on the cheek before darting off to try on a fluffy pink sweater.
Of course, Jeff buys the damn mug.
***
When Jeff wakes up the next morning, it's the first time in his life he's annoyed not to have a hangover. Without the distraction of his head's impending explosion, his thoughts keep circling back to The Mug. It's still wrapped in the Walmart bag Goodwill had put it in, still tossed lazily onto the couch, still out of sight, but definitely not out of mind.
The Mug haunts Jeff as he works through his morning exercises, as he eats breakfast, as he performs his morning skincare routine, as he starts a fresh pot of coffee.
Part of him wants to destroy the damn thing, throw it out the window and watch it shatter to a million pieces on the concrete below. The slightly more practical part wants to leave it anonymously at Craig's door or in his office. Unfortunately, he knows the Dean will proudly carry it around Greendale–hell, it'll probably get its own announcement–and then it willl only be a matter of time before Annie or Britta or Abed asks about it.
So, Jeff opts for the only remaining course of action: he takes the mug and knocks on his neighbor's door.
There's a brief rattling of chain and clicking of locks, and then Craig emerges, casual clothes and worried expression at odds with each other. "Jeffrey? What's wrong? Did something happen?"
Jeff blinks a second, though he supposes Craig's concern is warranted. After all, it's not a daily occurance that Jeff just shows up at his door unannounced. "No, nothing happened," he replies. "Just… I was shopping the other night, and I saw something that reminded me of you."
Craig's eyes go wide. "Of me?"
"Yeah. It's not… it's nothing big or anything. Don't get your hopes up," Jeff mumbles, trying to stem the rabid excitement quickly overtaking the shock on Craig's face. "Just… here."
Jeff thrusts the mug at him much like Annie had in the store. He then watches as Craig turns the mug in his hands, mouthing the words, tracing a finger feather-light over the exclamation point. "Jeffrey…" he breathes, tears welling at the corners of his eyes. "Is this really how you see me? World's best dean?"
Jeff hadn't really considered the words in a literal sense so much as in the corny way they were written. But when he looks at it that way… Well, Craig is the only dean he's ever had-and, really, the only dean he knows other than Spreck who is decidedly evil and, therefore, not the best dean in any scenario. So he settles for: "In my world? Yes."
It's never taken much–good, bad, or otherwise–to make Craig cry. Now, Jeff's words do the trick. His tears spill over onto his incredulous grin. Jeff shakes his head, offers Craig a small, also slightly incredulous grin in return, and opens his arms in invitation. Immediately, Craig flies into them.
Even crying and holding the mug like it's something precious, Craig hugs Jeff with his entire being. He's all warmth and passion and sweetness, like Jeff is the only thing that matters in the world.
Jeff does his best to reciprocate. He feels pathetically inadequate, but Craig doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he happily comments, "It's not even my birthday!"
And this is the part Jeff is good at–the part with words. Before he can think himself out of it, he lets his voice drop flirty and deep. "But it could be our anniversary," he offers, smoothly. Feeling Craig jolt in his arms, he hastily adds, "I mean… if… if you want."
"Jeffrey…" Craig pulls back to stare at him critically, eyes darting across every plane of Jeff's now-terrified face. "What are you proposing here?"
"Coffee?" Jeff asks, bravado fully vanished. Craig's arms still around his waist are the only thing keeping him from bolting to the safety of his apartment.
"Coffee or coffee or…" Craig waggles his eyebrows, lets his eyelids flutter shut, and whispers. " Coooofffeeeeeeeeeee?"
Jeff laughs, in spite of himself. "I… really don't know what that third one was supposed to be. But. Maybe we could just start with coffee, and see how that goes, yeah?"
"Jeffrey," Craig breathes, burrowing his face back into Jeff's chest. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
***
Jeff leads Craig across the hall to his apartment and gets about as far as asking how he takes his coffee–Jeff had figured he'd want at least half the cup to be filled with sugar and is pleasantly surprised to find he takes it black, mostly because he doesn't actually keep any sugar around–before they give up all pretenses of coffee being had.
Craig tastes like pancakes drenched in maple syrup. Jeff smiles into the kiss, mostly because he wasn't completely wrong about the other man's sweet tooth.
As Jeff carries a lust-dazed Craig to his bedroom, he asks if this was the mysterious third option. Craig laughs, breathily, and manages, "Something like that."
Their fresh cups of coffee sit untouched, cooling side-by-side.
***
"You know, this is a dream come true," Craig murmurs. He's curled himself into Jeff's side, absently running his fingers through Jeff's hair. Jeff can see himself getting used to this.
"Even if we skipped the coffee part?" Jeff asks. He tries to hide his nerves behind a teasing bravado.
"Jeffrey, I've been waiting six years for this!" Craig says, somehow wiggling himself closer. "I can have coffee whenever I want. Having you is a different story!"
"Is it okay that I still kind of… want to have coffee with you?"
"Is it okay? Is it okay?! Jeffrey, I have been waiting for six. Years! How could I not want anything you're willing to offer?"
"So, when are you free?"
"Well, it depends. Were you planning on leaving this bed anytime soon? And, follow-up question, if you were, how can I persuade you to… how shall I put this… not?"
Jeff snorts and tilts his head to roll his eyes directly at Craig. "Really?"
"Six years, Jeffrey!"
Turns out, Jeff does not need much persuading to stay in bed.
***
In the middle of his crunches the following morning, Jeff hears a knock on his door. Their coffee date is set for later that week, but it's not like they'd exactly been doing everything in the "proper" order anyway. Jeff is more than happy to see Craig a little early, maybe even to steal a kiss or two.
Instead, in a weird, reverse deja vu, there's Britta, nervously twirling a coffee mug in her hands. Jeff can't stop himself from saying, "Please tell me you're not here to confess your love to me."
Britta scoffs. "As if, dummy. I'm here to apologize."
"And you're off to a fine start."
"Ugh, sorry. But Jeff, I really am sorry about the other night! And as much as I want to blame the alcohol or compulsive heteronormativity–" ah. There it is. "–the truth is I was just a shitty friend. And no matter how shocked I was or how mad I was at myself for being shocked, I should've been more supportive. So… I'm sorry."
"I really did think you knew."
"I really didn't," Britta admits with a small smile. "But now I do, and I'm really happy for you. And I hope you can forgive me?"
Britta offers the mug to Jeff, and he takes it cautiously. He smiles as he recognizes the pin-up squirrel. "Yeah. We're good," he confirms.
Britta grins, then shuffles awkwardly. Jeff rolls his eyes and opens his arms. Britta doesn't hug with anywhere near the intensity Craig had, but it's still a nice moment. At least until she opens her mouth again.
"So… wait. The love confession thing you mentioned earlier… does that… does that mean you–you know and–"
"Yes," Jeff sighs to shut her up.
Britta squeals so loudly that Craig opens his door in alarm. Jeff manages to catch his eye over Britta's head and mouth the word 'later' at him.
Craig nods and mouths back 'tell me when she's gone so I can come over and you can tell me the whole story while I pretend to listen but actually just fantasize about having my way with you before actually having my way with you.' He somehow manages to sneak back into his apartment without Britta noticing despite Jeff snorting at his antics.
***
Craig, of course, takes The Mug to Greendale and carries it around proudly all week, never letting it out of his sight.
Jeff smiles whenever he sees it and is only a little disappointed it doesn't get its own announcement.
Annie and Britta both "awwwww" in unison when Craig brings The Mug to their Committee meeting on Monday. Abed joins in a few seconds later and gives Jeff a double thumbs up that makes him smile and a suggestive eyebrow waggle that he decides to ignore.
Chang comes in on Tuesday with a matching mug that Jeff promptly steals and smashes unceremoniously in the middle of the hallway. The Dean pretends to scold Jeff all the way to his office before shutting the door and kissing him breathless against it after making sure The (real) Mug is safe on his desk.
Britta punches a freshman in the face when he mocks The Mug. She tells Jeff it's the least she can do to make up for her lack of allyship earlier.
Frankie corners Jeff after class at the end of the week and complains that, since receiving The Mug, the Dean's coffee consumption has gone up astronomically. She orders him to do something about it, since she's ascertained it was his fault. Jeff just rolls his eyes and tells her to quietly trade the regular coffee grounds for decaf. Frankie huffs and sighs, but before she leaves, she does mention that at least Craig has seemed happier the past week. It's as close to her blessing as Jeff's going to get without wading through an ocean of mostly redundant paperwork, so he simply agrees with a gentle smile that he's reserved for Craig-related matters lately.
***
It takes them several weeks to actually accomplish their coffee date. This is mostly due to Craig's–surprisingly and disappointingly–complicated schedule on top of their combined commitment to the Save Greendale Committee. It's then further derailed by an impromptu parking lot carnival (even Frankie couldn't do anything about it as they had the proper permits. Jeff and Craig kissed at the top of the ferris wheel, and Jeff won Craig a stuffed animal that looked vaguely dalmatian-like. It almost would've been a successful date if Craig hadn't had to go be Dean-ly and punish Leonard for terrorizing students with a runaway bumper car.) Then came Britta's birthday party (where they both proceeded to get shitfaced) and a joint hangover recovery the next day (full of cuddles and surprisingly pleasant as far as hangovers went.) Then there was the planned carnival (which Jeff had to skip so he could help Frankie keep Britta from attending and hooking up with Blade again and where Craig once again had to scold Leonard for terrorizing students with a runaway bumper car-really, where does he keep getting these things?) Then there was the day Craig was sick and Jeff took care of him (followed immediately by the three days Jeff was sick and Craig returned the favor.) And then there was bailing Chang out of jail (twice. Surprisingly, he was innocent the second time.)
Of all places in Greendale, they end up going to Starbucks. Jeff suggests it because it's the least likely place to run into the rest of the Save Greendale Committee, and Craig agrees because he would happily follow Jeff anywhere.
After they order–a plain black coffee for Jeff and some sugary concoction ending in -cino with extra whipped cream for Craig, who argues doesn't count towards how he takes his coffee as it can hardly be considered coffee anymore–Jeff asks Craig to go pick a seat for them while he waits for the drinks. He fondly watches Craig happily bound off to pick the perfect spot before flagging the barista down and putting in a request, adding a crisp ten to the tip jar as he does so.
When their drinks are finally ready, Jeff thanks the barista with a grin–definitely not a flirty grin because he can feel Craig's eyes on him from across the room–and takes them over to where Craig sits patiently waiting.
Craig beams up at Jeff as he approaches. "Jeffrey! It's really happening!"
Jeff chuckles as he sets down their coffees and settles into the chair across from Craig. "Worth the wait?"
"I can't imagine how this day could get any better! Really it's–" Craig cuts himself off as he notices that the Sharpie scrawl on his cup is far too long to simply be his name. He picks it up and mouths the words– "WORLD'S BEST BOYFRIEND!" Tears well up in his eyes as he traces the exclamation point feather-light with one finger. He presses a fist to his mouth and still manages to squeal so loudly that the only other customer in the Starbucks sends a dirty look their way. Jeff flips her off.
"And before you ask," Jeff says, "yeah, that's really how I see you."
Craig barely manages to stop himself from squealing again. Instead, he takes a sip of his coffee before smiling flirtatiously at Jeff. "Someone's angling for more than coffee, hmmm?"
"Actually," Jeff says with a self-conscious half-grin, Annie's comment about evening the score playing in his mind, "I was trying to be romantic. I figured maybe you deserved it after six years of waiting."
"Oh," Craig says, blushing in delight. "Well. Romance looks good on you! I mean, you look good in everything! And in nothing, as it were. You know. If you did decide to angle."
Jeff smirks back and raises his coffee cup. "Let's just see where this goes, shall we?"
"Jeffrey," Craig murmurs. There are tears welling in his eyes again, but they're definitely happy tears. He places his hand on Jeff's free one and tangles their fingers together. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"