Chapter Text
Did I ask him too soon?
Yoo Joonghyuk watches his boyfriend’s back as it disappears through the revolving glass doors of the building, fighting back against the suspicion that has been echoing inside his head since last night when he had finally mustered the guts to pop the question.
…not even that question, but honestly, this one was probably an even more important one.
In the modern society, moving in together is basically an engagement in its own right—a display of future intent (which Joonghyuk had), as well as an offer of checking compatibility (which Joonghyuk had already reached conclusions on in several areas of effect, including but not limited to: emotional comfort – high, fair division of chores – tolerable, total economic stability – a non-issue, and mutual sexual satisfaction – very high), but absent of the final commitment of betrothal. Besides, when you’re already living together, it’s statistically more likely that the asked party will answer favourably to a proposal.
But having done all this research and having made careful plans for the continuous progression of their relationship would mean nothing if Joonghyuk has already made a mistake that could put it all at risk.
Like pushing him too fast.
The thing is, finally being with Kim Dokja has made Joonghyuk think something he’s never thought in any of his previous relationships: that there’s no reason to wait any more.
…he has already done his share of waiting, whether Kim Dokja realises it or not.
(When they first meet, it feels like he has already waited many lifetimes.)
Their acquaintanceship happened through their jobs. Their company had made a deal with a popular action RPG game for a promotional event that will feature the players from Joonghyuk’s team as characters who’ve been sent into the world of the game. His team would be recording hours’ worth of voice lines, but before that could even be scheduled, the development and writing process went on for weeks. Those were weeks filled with meeting after meeting led by Kim Dokja, the outsourced editor and representative of the owner of the original work on which the game had been based on, who was also working closely with the script writers to assure both a passable plot and lines that would promote Joonghyuk and his team without creating too out-of-character experiences.
It hadn’t been hard to tell from their very first introduction that Kim Dokja was attracted to him. That wasn’t really new to him though, as the same went for many of the people he had ended up working with through the years, from journalists to other pro-gamers to developers and the staff around him.
What had been new was the way editor Kim was merciless in his interpretation of the source material, and never willing to compromise the plot for the sake of fan-service that crossed or even toed the line of cringeworthy third-rate writing. He had an air about him that easily balanced the personalities in the room by taking the lead through his self-confidence. His careful merge of the desires brought to the table by Joonghyuk and his teammates for their in-game counterparts and the story that needed to be told brought for quick and productive meetings—and eventually, to a collaboration that was an overall smashing success.
So when their work together nears its end, the admiration Kim Dokja had shown him is already more than mutual. And even then, there’s something about this man that Joonghyuk has never noticed in anyone before. Something that seems to gleam like a beacon, signalling out that this is someone special and that he had better hold on tight if he doesn’t want him to slip though his fingers.
Joonghyuk finds that he very much does not want that, so when Kim Dokja on his last day asks him if he might want to join him at a web novel convention of all things, he decides he might as well go all in, take Kim Dokja’s office-worker pale hand in his own just to watch him blush and say, “Ok, it’s a date then.”
The ball keeps rolling quickly after that.
Aside from how whatever has sparked between them burns so hot that Joonghyuk decides that waiting to put out is a hoax anyway (and subsequently proceeds to make their first date as memorable as he possibly can), they both seem to have mutually decided to go in with no holds barred. Perhaps it’s the editor in him, but Kim Dokja reads him like no one has before, seems to know what he thinks before Joonghyuk even thinks it himself, know what he needs, and to someone who’s always struggled with expressing his honest feelings it’s almost a relief how little needs to be said between them. He is beautifully receptive to his affections, both in the kitchen and in the bedroom.
In less than a week, they’re officially a couple. Not even a week later, several of Kim Dokja’s work-clothes have a permanent shelf in Joonghyuk’s apartment. Soon enough, they’re having dinner together every night… he can’t remember the last time he slept with the other half of the bed empty.
Ever since that first date, he admits that they’ve been moving fast… but it has never felt wrong, in any way. They’ve always both been driving this car.
But for the first time he is wondering if Kim Dokja is perhaps in a different lane altogether.
The angry buzzing of his phone from the hands-free console, reminding him that he has several appointments to make, has Joonghyuk slowly shifting into drive and pulling away from Kim Dokja’s building, but the echo of the questions keeps reverberating inside his skull throughout the day.
He goes to a fitting first—a suit fitting, of all things… and it really doesn’t help his mood. It’s for a commercial they’ll be shooting in a couple of days, but he hadn’t guessed the clothes would be so… nuptial. The assistants all fawn over him, shower him with compliments that he mostly tunes out. Except…
“Joonghyuk-ssi, you would make the handsomest groom!”
Quietly he thinks how the only person he’d want to see in such a suit… His eyes dance over the racks and displays, and soon catches the sight of a specific one… one that almost matches the one he himself is wearing. He can imagine it clearly.
Joonghyuk-ah, what it this? Picking me a suit when you haven’t even asked me yet… you’re very greedy.
He swallows and rights himself. An assistant apologises for poking him with a needle, but he hadn’t even noticed.
Perhaps he is being greedy. The evidence of that greed is burning a hole in his mind when he envisions the glovebox in his car, the little box packed into a bag tucked in there…
Kim Dokja turns before him, the white coat twirling around him, displaying the glittering starry sky sewn into the delicate fabric underneath. A shine catches on the fourth finger of his hand.
Joonghyuk shifts again, careful not to move into the assistants’ wandering needles this time.
He wasn’t supposed to have picked them up. The display had caught his eyes while they were out on an errand, and Kim Dokja had slid up next to him, pressed himself into his side like a puzzle slotting into place, and had put his face so close to the glass, eyes dancing with amazement.
“Oh, there’s far more variety in wedding bands than I thought. But I guess everyone wants something unique nowadays, huh. I read somewhere that titanium is pretty popular now… are those silver-ones titanium you think?”
“White gold.”
“Can gold be white? That’s kind of cool. I like that a lot. Anyways, what coffee do you want?”
And while Kim Dokja had gone to order their drinks, Yoo Joonghyuk had stepped inside the shop with his credit card already halfway out of his wallet… and spent the rest of their afternoon with the box burning holes in his pocket while his hand held Dokja’s as they walked, feeling the bare flesh of that fourth finger and imagining the presence of something there.
Even now, it’s a good memory, and just thinking about it has anticipation curling in his toes, in his hand, and somewhere deep inside of him, too. Is it really so wrong to be a little greedy?
Then he remembers Kim Dokja’s conflicted face from the night before and thinks, Perhaps.
“There, all done! You really look so handsome.”
The assistants move out of the way to let him survey himself and the dark, glittering suit he’s wearing in the set of tall mirrors before him. They’re not wrong—he does look good alone. But…
He lifts his arm, and the softly smiling Dokja in his head easily slots his side. In their matching suits, they look… stunning.
“Do you have a girlfriend? If you’d like, I could take pictures for you to send her, I’m sure she’d swoon and marry you in a heartbeat!”
Would Kim Dokja want to marry him if he saw him like this?
“…I don’t have a girlfriend,” he answers the eager assistant.
“Aww, too bad! You’re such a catch! Then, do you mind if we could maybe take a selfie…?”
His manager is luckily doing his job for once. He has a schedule to keep, so he lets them whisk away the coat and suit while the Dokja in his head watches him, looking so stunning it hurts.
Joonghyuk-ah… it’s only been a month, you idiot.
He bites the inside of his cheek, and luckily no one bothers him or asks him anything else.
-
He is getting ready to fire up his car and leave for the next scheduled meeting at the company when he sees something rolling on the floor on the passenger side.
He recognises it immediately.
It’s the thermos that was part of the lunch he prepared for Kim Dokja that morning.
He sighs. This is regrettable, since the soup should be a lot better now that all the flavours from the ingredients have seeped into the broth overnight.
He’s already brought enough food for his own lunch, and the very thought of giving it to a teammate when it should have been Kim Dokja at work during his lunchbreak, enjoying this and eating healthily, and maybe even thinking about Joonghyuk when he takes sip…
Luckily, he is alone in the car. When he catches his face in the rear-view mirror, his cheeks are red and he’s more-or-less smiling very stupidly. He huffs a laugh… because this is what Kim Dokja does to him, isn’t it.
So again… is it really so wrong to be this greedy?
He flips open his phone, checks the time briefly and enters a speed-dial…
…nothing. Kim Dokja isn’t picking up the phone.
It’s strange, because his lunch break just started, and he’d usually be glued to the device any chance he gets to read the latest updates of the novels he’s following.
He sends a text. After a while, there’s still no answer.
He eyes the thermos and puts the car into drive.
-
Now that he’s here, he is far more nervous than he thought he would be.
The cafeteria of the building is open to anyone with a pass, and while Joonghyuk has never had to go inside and is likely not put down on Kim Dokja’s list of persons or close family that should have a reason to enjoy such privileges, the receptionist is very quick to give him a pass… although she spends a suspiciously long time checking his information and picture while asking questions he’s sure aren’t really part of her routine.
He puts it out of his mind, now that he’s finally there.
He steps inside.
The cafeteria is so full that immediately finding Kim Dokja is a bit of a hassle, and he’s already attracting curious eyes. Luckily, Joonghyuk is found first.
“—Yoo Joonghyuk?” Exclaims Kim Dokja from a little further away, standing up from his seat at a table he shares with a short, dark-haired woman—likely someone he works with. He has surely seen him walk through the door, and Joonghyuk’s heart still beats harder like it does whenever he sees him… even though he had dropped him off only a few hours ago. There’s a bit of relief in his steps as he approaches, because even with the slight awkwardness of the morning, Kim Dokja looks… happy to see him.
And maybe it’s all worth it, because now, watching him taste the fruits of his labours and savouring it with a content sigh and a praise that Joonghyuk never tires of, well… he should really cook lunch for him more often.
Still, the question from last night still lingers between them, unanswered. Joonghyuk wants nothing more than to be so incredibly greedy, to maybe reach out and tug at his hand, to show him with a meaningful look just how confusing and painful this whole ordeal is, but he’s already made his choice.
“I should get going.”
It’s better to give him more time. Even if it takes weeks or months… it’s better if I wait.
“Wait, Joonghyuk-ah…” says Kim Dokja then, and proceeds to wreck all his best laid plans—again. “Let’s move in together.”
(Yoo Joonghyuk is painfully aware that he is probably madly, deeply in love, and that kissing Kim Dokja at his workplace probably makes his boyfriend complicit in the violation of a workplace code or two. But Yoo Joonghyuk is also painfully greedy, so he finds that he really doesn’t give a fuck.)
-
Maybe he should begin carrying the wedding bands in his pockets.
After all, with the speed they’re currently going at, perhaps he’ll get to see his significant other in a wedding suit very, very soon.