Chapter Text
"Oi, wake up or you're gonna be late."
Eijirou hummed sleepily, slowly opening his eyes as he felt Katsuki's breath on the back of his neck.
He didn't sound harsh or in a rush, he certainly didn't try to push Eijirou out of bed, their legs still entangled together.
Warm rays of sunshine peeked at the window, the world outside seemed to be still asleep.
"Don't care, wanna sleep," Eijirou mumbled, closing his eyes again, wanting to ignore the clock that was ticking, as if it too was urging him to attend his classes.
If only he could stay in bed with Katsuki all day, that would be amazing. When he embraced him like this, Eijirou could almost pretend they were actually a couple, and not just friends who liked to have sex together.
He pushed his thoughts aside. He knew they could never be together. Katsuki didn't do relationships. He told him that a million times. Heck, sometimes even after sex.
They were simply friends who hook up to blow off some steam. Eijirou agreed to that. If only he had known he was bound to hopelessly fall in love with him. He didn't think that'd even possible. Not after dealing with that awful ex-boyfriend of his.
Stop, he told himself. Don't think about that stuff.
Katsuki slowly shifted on the bed, his arm no longer wrapped around his waist, all the warmth gone, and Eijirou was about to complain when Katsuki gently pushed his back on the mattress, climbing on him, his hands on each side of his head.
Eijirou didn't realize for how long he had spaced out, lost in his train of thoughts. For how long Katsuki had actually let him stay in his arms, despite his complaints about being late.
He bit his lip, his eyes fixing for the first time that morning on Katsuki: His eyebrows didn't furrow as they usually did, his face was calm, the light from the window made his eyes shine brightly, as if two sunsets were melting in them. His hair looked more blond than usual, strings of gold twisting in his locks.
He looked almost cute in the daylight, if only his body wasn't the exact opposite of cute and soft.
He towered over Eijirou like a mountain. Even though the light peeked from the window, his broad shoulders still blocked the view, his big muscular arms made him feel like a small animal covered by his hunter.
Alright, maybe Eijirou was small indeed, but next to Katsuki he looked even smaller, tinier. He was much shorter than Katsuki, his shoulders weren't big, he hated to admit he looked fragile when his clothes covered him. Sure, his body was still tonic, and Katsuki always said his thighs were strong, praising him when he'd wrap them around Katsuki's waist to keep his balance as the blonde fucked him against the door, in the shower, on the edge of the bed.
God, thinking about it almost made Eijirou blush. He forced his thoughts down once more, focusing on Katsuki instead, who was still looking at him, his eyebrow raised slightly now.
Katsuki was fully naked, like Eijirou was, only the lower part of his body was covered by a blanket, leaving his tattooed skin on sight. His left arm was totally covered in ink, his tattoo spreading across his pectoral, reaching his collarbone and the side of his neck, creating a mesmerising canvas; The more you looked, the more details you caught, the more you felt like staring at it all day.
Eijirou let his eyes wander on the skeleton on Katsuki's biceps when Katsuki asked, "Did you hear me?"
A sigh escaped from Eijirou's lips, he locked eyes with him. "We're gonna be late, I know."
Katsuki scoffed. "You are gonna be late, dumbass. My classes start in two hours, but yours —"
"Fuck," he cut him off, bringing him hands to his face, wanting to slap himself.
He had less than an hour to shower, get dressed and reach their college by foot. Honestly, he still felt sore from last night, every muscle of his body seemed to ache, screaming at him to take it easy just for once.
He was used to Katsuki's stamina by now, but that didn't mean Katsuki didn't wreck him every single time. He was a beast in bed, didn't know when to stop, always wanting to turn Eijirou into a crying, whimpering mess. Eijirou didn't even say no to him, because he was a sucker for rough sex. Unfortunately, he'd found out soon enough that even when he couldn't take it anymore, his body always craved to be touched by Katsuki's big calloused hands, his lips begging for more as tears formed in his eyes. Katsuki often told him that when he cried like that, he found him irresistible; Katsuki's his dick twitched more, his body got hotter, his eyes darker as he looked at the crying mess he turned Eijirou into. Katsuki often told him, That’s your fault for being this hot, I can't stop fucking you.
Fuck, why was Eijirou thinking about that? Right. His body hurt. And while Katsuki blamed him for being hot or whatever, Eijirou blamed him for being a monster. Honestly, there was no way a human could have the amount of sex Bakugou had, except that Eijirou had to keep up with that madness.
"Go take a shower," Bakugou rasped, his voice low, as he moved Eijirou's hands from his face.
Eijirou knew he should jump out of bed and hurry up, but he was still too tired. "You're joining me?"
He scoffed. "Tsk, fucking tease. No, we'll just end up fucking."
Fair enough. Plus, I'm really tired , the rational part of Eijirou thought. Wait, now that I think about it, another round wouldn't hurt. And since when does Katsuki turn sex down?, the needy part of him added.
Eijirou pouted, the thought of them having sex was now settled in his head, his body ready to catch fire at the smallest match. "You never complained about that."
Katsuki rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."
"I don't actually," he lied as he pouted, "You don't wanna fuck me?"
"What the fuck?" he scowled a bit. "Right. I don't wanna fuck you, happy now? Get your ass ready for school, you idiot."
"Fine," he said, a pout still on his lips, before pulling Katsuki into a kiss.
No, we'll end up fucking, Katsuki said.
Fine, Eijirou thought, we're not gonna fuck, but I have a surprise in store for you.
Their kiss was gentle, at first. Two sleepy people kissing goodbye, not really wanting to separate, slowly tasting each other, trying to get wasted on the flavour that lingered on the other's tongue in order to get mentally ready to start another day.
Eijirou let his hand navigate on Katsuki's body. He knew he was late, and he knew he should just get ready and attend his classes, but now he felt like a child who had just been denied candy. Leaving Bakugou with a sour taste in his mouth seemed the perfect payback, the minutes he would lose didn't seem that important anymore.
Their kiss deepened, like they were both hungry animals, and the flames that were so easy to ignite fully caught his body as Katsuki gripped at his hips with his strong huge hands, pressing his body against him, as his tongue worked inside his mouth, willing to taste every inch of it.
Eijirou moaned weakly, his eyes felt a bit heavy, but he still managed to draw one hand on Katsuki's fat cock, wrapping it.
He couldn't see it, since Katsuki was still on top of him, their bare bodies pressing together, but he could feel his cock getting harder as he worked his hand on his length, so slowly that Katsuki groaned impatiently.
Eijirou had to repress a smile, his lips still on Katsuki's as he tightened the grip on his dick, his hand going slightly faster now.
Katsuki moaned, the sound so obscenely beautiful, and only then Eijirou let himself breath, pulling a little back, drinking in the view in front of him.
In just a few minutes, Katsuki was already a sweaty mess. His face turned into a light shade of red, his gaze clouded with lust, his throbbing cock leaking pre-cum. He threw his head back ever so slightly, his lips parted as he panted, trying not to whine.
The view was almost enough to make Eijirou fully hard, almost, if only he wasn't so stubborn in not letting his own lust have the best hold on him. At least not at this moment. Now it was Bakugou's turn to get helplessly annoyed.
He pressed the tip on Katsuki's dick with his thumb, a faint grin on his lips as Katsuki groaned, already too lost in his own lust to do something, to kiss him, to take revenge. All he could do was moan audibly, raw and low, as Eijirou's other hand reached his balls, massaging them the way Katsuki liked it as the other hand was closed in a fist around his leaking big cock, stroking it eagerly.
He knew Katsuki was this close. He could tell it by the way his moans got clogged up in his throat, his bare chest going up and down as he breathed, putting his weight on his knees, at either side of Eijirou's hips, to try to not lose balance and helplessly fall on him. Katsuki's hoarse voice called his name, just barely, since at each syllable another moan was torn from his throat.
When his eyes were barely open, his skin slick with sweat, growls spilling from his mouth, his shoulders tense, his nails digging into the redhead's hips, only then did Eijirou use the pace he was actually capable of, the pace Katsuki craved for. He stroked his fat dick as if his life depended on it, feeling it pulsing in his hand. He reached for Katsuki's neck, his teeth sinking in his skin, marking him, and when he felt Katsuki's shudder on top of him, his orgasm just a stroke away, he finally realised his grip on him and pressed a hand on Katsuki's chest, pushing him on the bed, almost chuckling as Katsuki eyes widened with shock, his red big cock laid hard on his stomach.
"Gotta go, see you later, Bakubro," he grinned, jumping out of bed before Katsuki could kill him.
He saw a flash of different emotions crossing Katsuki's face in a fraction of second — Disbelief, anger, annoyance. Finally, his face twisted in a scowl. "I fucking hate you." he growled, shifting his weight on his elbows. No doubt he felt like dying, his erection tearing him apart.
Eijirou grinned once more, refraining himself from actually laughing, before storming in the bathroom, leaving a frustrated Katsuki behind with the sole company of his own fist.
Mission accomplished. Now he only had to take a shower, put on some clothes he strategically left at Katsuki's place, and run for his life. At least Katsuki's apartment was close to their College.
And, right, he actually had his own half hard-on to worry about. Hopefully, a cold shower would do.
Eijirou's classes weren't so bad that morning. Sure, he was still half asleep and sure, he would've rather stayed in bed with Katsuki all day, but at least he would have lunch with him.
Or so he thought.
He was walking with his friend Mina across the hallway, his arms wrapped around his art books, when he saw Katsuki talking with a brunette girl, which was odd.
It wasn't like their college was small, not at all. There were many majors to pick, the campus was large, and most people were friendly. It was not unusual to see groups of friends formed by people from different majors.
But the thing was, Katsuki was a loner. The only company he usually had was Eijirou's. Well, he used to hang out a bit with Midoriya too — The friend that introduced them — but that was before he went to study in America, and Katsuki wasn't fond of cellphones, so he didn't keep in touch with him either.
The girl standing next to him was shorter than he, her cheeks tinted with pink, her sweater wasn't large enough to hide her curves. She was pretty, and she was smiling at him.
Eijirou's heart jumped up to his throat, his arms turning to jelly, as he noticed Katsuki didn't look annoyed.
He always looked like he didn't want to stick around other people. But now…
A loud thud brought him back to the hallway. Too late, he realized his books were scattered on the floor.
He was about to kneel to pick them up when Katsuki beat him on it.
"Idiot," he chided, yet his voice was soft enough, just the slightest hint of worry in his eyes. Or was it annoyance? Yeah, most likely it was.
"Hey," he replied, because apparently he really was an idiot.
The brunette girl was standing a few feet from them, her eyes on them as she leaned on the wall. Eijirou tried to ignore her.
Katsuki handed him his books, clearing his throat before speaking. "Ei, look—"
Eijirou felt a knot forming in his stomach. Katsuki never called him Ei. Except during sex or when he knew he was about to say something that would piss him off. And since they were in the middle of the hallway now…
"We won't have lunch together," he guessed, trying not to sound or look too disappointed.
It shouldn't be a big deal. Yes, they ate together every day in the college cafeteria, but people were allowed to hang out with other friends. Yet, again, Katsuki wasn't the type to make friends.
Katsuki rubbed a hand down his face. "Look, it's just for a stupid project. Uraraka and I have to discuss about it and she asked me to eat together, I—"
"You don't have to explain, it's not like we're dating," his own words burned his throat like lava.
Katsuki's eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, but—"
This time, Mina cut him off, throwing an arm across Eijirou's shoulders. "It's okay, Bakubro, he'll eat with me and my friends."
Eijirou almost yelped at the touch. He totally forgot Mina was still there with him. Now, he felt bad about it.
"With your friends, right," Katsuki grunted, sounding more annoyed than usual. He looked at Eijirou for a few seconds, his eyes calculating, as he was in front of a maths problem he couldn't crack. Then, he stuffed his hands into his pants pockets. "I'm gonna go, then. See you later, Red."
He watched, in silence, Katsuki joining that girl again. She smiled a little before starting to say something. Even from afar, not able to hear a word she said, he could say she probably sounded enthusiastic.
Mina broke the silence, apparently reading his mind. "Who is that girl?"
"I have no idea," he sighed as he started to walk in the opposite direction of Katsuki's. They had one more class before lunch, and he was going in the wrong direction, but luckily Mina didn't question it.
"She can't possibly be his girlfriend, since, you know, you guys are kinda—"
"We are not dating," he cut her off, hating how sad he sounded.
She looked empathetic, but her words cut him like sharp glass. "Yet you're in love with him."
His eyes went wide. "Lower your voice," he urged, looking around, but the only people that were in their same hallway were a girl with headphones on and a guy who was running for his life. "He doesn't feel the same," he added as he shrank in on himself.
She sighed, then she looped one arm around Eijirou's and headed him back in the right direction. "You can't know that."
A feeling of exasperation got under his skin. He did know that. Katsuki wasn't the type to do relationships, and even if he did, he wouldn't choose someone as boring as Eijirou. Plus, Katsuki was way more handsome than he was, Eijirou had no idea how he managed to pull him off, even just as a fuck buddy.
"Yeah? And what would you suggest to do?" he didn't even know how he sounded, he wasn't sure himself how he felt. Exasperated, yes. But hopeless? Well… not really. Even if he hated to admit it, there was a tiny delusional part of him that hoped Katsuki was enough out of his mind to love him back.
She put a finger on her chin, "Tell him you want to start dating again, maybe he'll get jealous."
You can't be serious, right?, he wanted to say. Instead, he asked, "What if he won't?"
"Well, maybe you can finally start to really consider dating someone else."
That was utterly impossible. Not only was he completely in love with Katsuki, but he also feared starting new relationships. He trusted Katsuki, he knew he wasn't an asshole, that he would never hurt him like his ex boyfriend did, but could he say the same about other guys? No. And he didn't even want to give it a try.
He looked at the floor as he walked. "I don't know, Mina… I don't trust other guys."
He felt a pat on his shoulder. "I know, but there are good guys out there, who would treat you like you deserve."
Her smile was thin, genuine and encouraging. As to say she would be with him at every step of the way. At that, he could believe.
"Maybe…" he sighed as he looped his arm around hers again, entering their classroom.
The next two weeks passed as usual. Katsuki still spent most of the days with him. They had lunch together, hang out after their classes and they regularly had sex.
He still hadn't followed Mina's plan, though. He didn't know if he ever would, scared by what Katsuki's reaction might be.
What if he decided to call things off? Or even worse, what if he agreed with him and wanted to date that new friend of his? Eijirou was still bored by the way he seemed at ease around her.
It wasn't fair, of course. Katsuki was allowed to have friends, but Eijirou couldn't shake away the fear that they may actually be more than that. And what would he do, at that point?
He and Katsuki didn't exactly have rules. When they started hooking up, they just said they were still friends, that that didn't mean anything romantically, that it was for fun, a way to kill off some steam, to distract themselves from the distress of their college life.
Now, Eijirou was starting to reconsider his past decisions. Not the whole fuck buddies thing, but not having talked about it more.
They never said they couldn't date, or even hooking up with other people. Eijirou couldn't exactly get mad at Katsuki for not telling him if he wanted to date Uraraka, because they weren't a thing to start with. He didn't think Katsuki sleeped with other people too, but if he did, or if wanted to start doing that, he couldn't get mad about it, either.
Damnit, he really should've suggested rules. At least now he wouldn't be tormenting himself with ifs.
An arm wrapping around his shoulders brought him back to reality. Katsuki was sitting next to him, making him lean on him as they watched a movie at the cinema.
Honestly, he didn't even remember what that movie was about. He had thought too much, and now that he wasn't lost in his thoughts, he just closed his eyes and leaned on Katsuki, taking in his caramel scent.
A part of him thought that it felt too much like a date. Another part of him thought that they were just hanging out as usual. As friends.
He opened his eyes just in time to see the credits appearing on the screen, and he let Katsuki take his hand and drag him out of the cinema hall.
"Next time, you're not picking the movie," Katsuki broke the silence, their hands still entangled together, as he pushed past the crowd.
Eijirou tried to keep his heart in check.
"C'mon, Bakuu, it wasn't that bad," he said as if he paid any attention.
Katsuki scoffed lightly, but if he noticed Eijirou didn't even watch a scene of the movie he chose, he didn't say it out loud.
He was still walking through the mall, hand in hand with Katsuki, when someone called from behind, "Kirishima!"
Here there was his friend Sero, a grin on his face, as he rushed towards them and crushed Eijirou in a hug.
"Woah, man, you're hurting me," he complained, wasting no time to hug him back.
After a few seconds, Katsuki cleared his throat. Eijirou pulled away from the embrace, ignoring the way Katsuki scowled.
"Uhm, Kats, he's Sero. He's a friend of mine, we went to high school together."
"And we dated for a while, too. Don't forget about that," Sero sing-sang, making Eijirou blush, before his gaze shifted on Katsuki, who was glaring daggers at him. Sero ignored that, stretching his arm at him, "Hey, man, nice to meet you, I'm Sero."
Katsuki didn't shake his hand. Instead, he kept glaring at him with cold eyes. At last, he said, "Bakugou."
The atmosphere was suddenly heavy on his shoulders. Sero was visibly starting to feel uncomfortable, too. He passed a hand at the back of his neck the way he usually did when he didn't know what to do or say. On the other hand, if Bakugou felt any discomfort, he didn't show. Resentment, yes. Annoyance even, yes. But he looked like he could stay like this without saying a word for endless hours, apparently he was okay with just sending resentful stares at Sero.
Eijirou decided to break the ice before it would break at his feet and make him fall into a cold lake.
He tried for a smile, "Anyway, what are you doing here?"
Maybe it was a stupid question, but chit-chat a bit seemed like a good idea. Plus, Sero seemed to be alone, odds were that he was probably waiting for someone, or the other way around.
Sero smiled back at him before replying, "I have to meet my sister, she's probably waiting for me. You know, she's really impatient when it comes to shopping," as if she actually heard him, Sero's phone started to ring in his pocket. He picked it, his eyes quickly shifting from his screen to Eijirou. "I really gotta go, and I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind me saying this, but you're really pretty today."
Eijirou blinked, registering his words a second too late. "W-What?"
"See ya!"
And with that, he was gone.
Eijirou stared in the void for a few seconds, his thoughts racing in his head. Did Sero think Bakugou was his boyfriend? Did they look like a couple? Sure, they were holding hands, but that was a thing that friends also did, right?
As he was still lost in his thoughts Katsuki finally spoke after what felt like a month, his voice strangely even, "He still likes you."
Eijirou felt even more dumbstruck. "What are you talking about?"
His jaw clicked. "Let's go," he murmured before starting to walk, pulling Eijirou with him, grabbing his hand again.
They walked in silence, which wasn't something Eijirou wasn't used to with him, but now he felt embarrassed, still thinking at Sero's words. Plus, Katsuki's annoyance was making him feel a little uneasy.
You're really pretty today, Sero had said. Am I? Eijirou thought.
I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind me saying this, Sero had said. He's not my boyfriend, Eijirou thought. I don't know why he seems to not stand you.
Bakugou stopped before the elevator, squeezing Eijirou's hand in warning to not make him crush his head against the glass doors — Yes, mind you, he was still travelling through the clouds — but he didn't push the button as he took a few seconds to look at Eijirou.
Suddenly, Eijirou felt self-conscious about how he looked. He let his hair down like he usually did, with no hair-clips despite a lock of his hair often falling across his face. He was wearing skinny black jeans, black snickers, a short red sweater that matched with his hair, a black scarf and a black long coat. He looked coozy, in his opinion, but a question burned in the back of his mind.
Does Katsuk think I look pretty, too?
Finally, when Eijirou thought he couldn't get any redder, Katsuki put his hands on his waist and pulled him closer.
"Wanna go to my place, Red?" he rasped to his ear.
He had to refrain a yelp. "Yeah," he breathed as Katsuki leaned a little back, looking at him with a hungry look.
Honestly, that was something Katsuki did often. Eijirou could just stand next to him, doing nothing, and Katsuki would suddenly get horny. Not that he complained, though.
"Good," he replied, his gaze falling on his lips, before he erased the gap between their mouths.
This kiss hit him like a tornado. It wasn't the first time Katsuki kissed in public, but it was the first time he kissed him like that in the middle of a mall, like they were actually in Katsuki's apartment, eager to rip each other's clothes off.
Eijirou had no idea what triggered Katsuki to kiss him like that, but he didn't care. He chased Katsuki's lips as he'd die if he stopped.
Before he could pull back, someone slammed against him, almost making him fall. Fortunately, Katsuki caught him in his arms. Then, a yell started to burst through him, so loud that Eijirou had to cover his ears with his hands.
"What the fuck?! The fuck are you running for?! Watch your fucking feet, you could've hurt him!"
"Sorry!" the guy said, and that voice sent a shiver down Eijirou's spine, his eyes squeezing shut. That couldn't be, could it?
He didn't dare to turn his head to look at the guy, his wide eyes fixing on Katsuki instead, who erased an eyebrow in wonder.
A cry almost escaped from his lips when he felt a hand placing on his shoulder. His hands went on Katsuki's chest as if he was a shield that would protect him, but to his terror, he heard that voice once again. "Kirishima?"
He turned, slowly, trying to calm his emotions as he felt Katsuki's hand interlace with his. Katsuki pulled Eijirou closer, breaking his contact with Shindou's touch, making him breathe a little easier. Katsuki's presence comforted him, the grip on his hand seemed to anchor to the world of the living and keep the earth from swallowing him whole, but that wasn't enough to keep a sense of danger from spreading across his chest.
"S-Shindo," he said, stunned, before bringing his eyes on Katsuki in horror.
Katsuki's jaw clenched as he squeezed Eijirou's hand. The look he gave Sero was nothing compared to the way he was looking at Shindo. He seemed ready to kill him on the spot. Eijirou wasn't sure he would stop him.
Katsuki opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, most likely curse him out, Shindo spoke first.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
Eijirou didn't even know what to say, he just wanted to run away from him as soon as possible. His fingers reached his throat by reflex, as if it still burned, as if the ghost of Shindo's hands was still strangling him, trying to steal his very last breath.
"It's none of your fucking business," Katsuki snapped, his voice filled with hatred, his eyes bloodshot, his teeth grinded.
Shindo raised both his hands with an obvious fake smile, probably getting the memo that he shouldn't mess with Katsuki, probably not. "No need to get so defensive, man."
Every cell of Eijirou's body told him to run away. He tried to not let his panic be visible through his features, swallowing down a dry lump in his throat. "We'd better go. Bye, Shindo."
Silence settled upon them as Eijirou dragged Katsuki out of there. He preferred it that way, he actually appreciated that Katsuki didn't ask him if he was okay. They both knew he wasn't.
His eyes were fixed on the ground the whole way to Katsuki's car, an unsettling mental reply of what just happened replaying in his mind, his emotions somehow were amplified by the unwanted memory.
Kirishima?, he had asked in disbelief, and Eijirou hated how he sounded. As if he was actually surprised, as if he wanted to see him again.
Is he your boyfriend?, he had asked, his voice soaked with venom, threatening to ruin whatever he had going on with Katsuki.
It's none of your fucking business, Katsuki had replied.
It's none of your fucking business.
He didn't recall finally arriving at the parking lot, nor entering the car. However, he clearly caught the worry in Katsuki's eyes before he pulled him to his chest, feeling himself slightly trembling in his arms.
He was sure the next thing that would come out from his mouth would be an embarrassing sob, instead he asked, "Why didn't you say no?"
Honestly, he didn't even know why he asked that. He was so shaken, so upset, that anything would trigger him, even if Katsuki didn't do anything wrong.
He was just annoyed. He wanted to punch Shindo for being such an asshole, for everything he put him through, for trying to have a conversation with him like nothing happened.
And he wanted to grab Katsuki by the collar of his shirt and demand what he felt for him. Why he seemed so protective of him, why he played along and didn't say that no, they weren't boyfriends.
Katsuki knitted his eyebrows, confusion all over his face, "What?"
Against best judgement, he pressed on. "When he asked if you were my boyfriend, why..."
Katsuki went still, his shoulders tensing, his arms dropping. He shifted back on his seat, analysing him for a few seconds. "Are you seriously pissed off about that?"
Eijirou flinched a bit, before his own scowl matched Katsuki's. "I'm not. It's just we are not dating, so—"
"Fucking excuse me if I didn't want to get your shitty ex-boyfriend too many informations about you," he snapped, an incredulous look printed on his face. "What would have you fucking prefered? 'No, we're not boyfriends, I was just kissing him because we're fuck buddies and I felt like it'? Should have I told him for how long we have been fucking? Or—"
"Stop," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, squeezing his eyes shut. Self-hatred quickly shot across his veins like poison. Why did he take it out on Katsuki? He didn't have anything to do with Shindou, or the way he treated him. "I get it. It was a stupid question."
"Ei—"
"Just drop me off at the dorms please."
Eijirou didn't even look at him. The way Katsuki's voice had softened, a tone of urgent worry in it, was enough to make Eijirou want to disappear in the thin air.
"Fine."
He curled on the seat as Katsuki started the car. For the first time since forever, uncomfort welcomed him as they didn't say a word.
That's all your fault, he found himself thinking. Why do your feelings have to be so complicated? What do you want?
Self-pity and self-hatred mixed together in a deadly drink that made Eijirou's throat feel like he would combust if he kept letting his negative thoughts pour into him.
Unfortunately, his mind seemed to have its own soul. Or rather, it seemed like his mind owned Eijirou, not the other way around. His mind sent him thoughts and he could do nothing by hearing them. Embracing his ears would do no good, his thoughts were too loud, vibrating from within, and he had no strength to fight them back this time.
Or maybe, that was his self-punishment for being such an idiot.
The sound of the engine turning off brought Eijirou back in the car. He avoided Katsuki's gaze, but when he reached the door, he found it closed. "Bakugou—"
"You're not getting out of the car until we talk about it."
Confusion settled in his bones. Katsuki didn't sound hurt, nor angry. He didn't know exactly how he sounded, but when he met his eyes, they were stubbornly determined.
"We already did. It was my bad, so—"
"I fucking hate him. I almost said yes just to piss him off. Fuck—", he clenched at the wheel, his eyes on his knuckles which were turning white. "I'm fucking sorry, I didn't want to upset you, I just want him to stay the fuck away from you."
His heart hurt in his chest, and Eijirou didn't know if it was going to explode, suddenly too big to be contained inside him, or it was shrinking, becoming so small and weak that he wasn't sure he'd survive that.
"Because he's not a good person," he said, still he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed, now that the situation was a lot clearer.
It wasn't like Katsuki was in love with him, nor was he trying to mess with him. He was just a dear friend — a best friend, even — that cared for him. That was all.
His eyebrows were drawn together, as if he was wondering about something, but he didn't deny it. "Yeah."
A sigh left his lips, he started to play with his hands, his eyes were on anything but Katsuki. "I'm not mad, not anymore. I'm just really tired."
Katsuki's hand gently brushed his shoulder for a second that made him feel stuck in time. "Yeah, go rest."
Without looking at him, Eijirou just nodded as he absently opened the door and stepped out of the car. He wasn't sure that sleeping would wash this tiredness off him this time.
Eijirou hadn't seen Katsuki for three days. It wasn't like he didn't want to. He wasn't mad at him, either, but sometimes his mind played ugly tricks at him, and all Eijirou could do was take shelter under the blanket like he was doing now.
All forgotten was his cellphone, which he hadn't checked since the fiasco at the mall, nor did he care about attending his classes.
He got an earful from Mina — she was about to leave town for a few days and she was worried sick about leaving him alone right now — but she eventually gave up. She knew him well enough to know he needed to recharge this way sometimes.
He tried to not to think about what a mess he was, that he didn't deserve anything, about Shindo's abuse, about his lies, about how he raised his hands on Eijirou when things didn't work the way he wanted.
He tried not to think about his unrequited feelings for Katsuki, too, but that was a whole different kind of pain. It wasn't like he didn't know that already, but now that he was certain Katsuki just saw him as a friend, his lungs seemed to have forgotten how to make him breathe.
He finally closed his eyes, deciding that sleeping was the best way to take his mind off things, when the door of his room slowly pushed open.
"Are you mad at Bakugou?"
He hummed as he heard Shinsou's voice, then closed his eyes, his cheek on his cushion. "No."
"He was looking for you."
That was enough to make him almost fall out of bed. "What did you tell him?" he asked as he sat upright, his gaze finally setting on his roommate; His purple hair was a wild mess as usual, he was dressed in total black — Eijirou doubted that he had anything with a bit of colour in his wardrobe — and he leaned on his desk, his arms crossed to his chest.
A few seconds passed by as Shinsou studied him. He didn't look exactly sad, but he didn't look pleased, either. "You really love him, don't you?" he said, an eyebrow raised, sighing as Eijirou blushed. "That's a shame, I could consider dating if it's you."
Eijirou hid his cheeks under the blanket, fearing that they'd turned even redder. Then he remembered that this was Shinsou, one of the biggest fuckboys he knew. "Sure, you fuckboy," he playfully rolled his eyes, his tension now easing away. "What did you tell Bakugou?"
Shinsou walked toward him until he was sitting on the bed next to him, and he ruffled Eijirou's hair as if he was a kid. "That you weren't feeling well. That's why you skipped your classes. I also told him to not come, that you'd contact him eventually."
Eijirou couldn't help but smile a bit. Shinsou might come off as a bit rude, but he was actually always soft and gentle with him. "Thank you."
He hummed, his gaze getting slightly sharp, "What's the deal with him, though? Should I beat him up?"
Eijirou chuckled, shaking his head, thinking, not for the first time, about how similar Shinsou and Katsuki were, it was odd that they didn't get along well. "He didn’t do anything wrong. It's just, I don't know, I don't feel like hanging out with anyone right now."
He nodded, then leaned in until they were only a few inches apart, a smirk on his lips, "Well, hit me up if you decide to change your fuck buddy."
A blush crept across his cheeks as he playfully punched his chest. "You're unbelievable," he chided, shaking his head.
"You're pretty and hot, fucking sue me," he smirked, a playful look in his eyes.
"Idiot," he murmured, his cheek slightly red, as he raised the blanket above his nose.
Shinsou laughed, and after convincing Eijirou to lower the blanket from his face and chatting for a few minutes, he went to his last class of the day.
Now alone, unpleasant feelings started to spread across his chest again. He picked his phone. Katsuki sent him some text, which was something he rarely did. Well, they usually saw each other all the time, though. He guessed they didn't really need to message.
A chat marked under the spam section caught his attention. When he clicked on it, he almost dropped his phone, his heart thundering in his ears.
There were several texts from an unknown number. The most recent read, If you don't reply to me, I will start calling. Let's meet. I miss you, we were a great couple, you know that.
He quickly blocked the number without a second thought, locking his phone as if by doing so he would be shielded against that poor excuse of an ex-boyfriend.
Blocking one number was not enough. Shindo kept texting and calling with several different numbers. Eijirou blocked them all, but that bastard seemed to have infinite resources.
Anxiety ran through his entire body. The thought that he might find Shindo outside his door was enough to keep him awake all night. Maybe keeping his distance from Katsuki had been a bad idea. Like, really bad idea.
He knew he couldn't depend on another person, especially if that person could quickly modify his list of properties by dating someone else, but it was too much for him. He had to remind himself that it was okay if Katsuki wanted nothing more than to be friends with benefits, that he would accept anything Katsuki was willing to give him.
Feeling too vulnerable to be alone, he finally left his bed after days, he washed carefully and dressed pretty. He didn't look into the mirror for too long, worried the more he looked into it, the more he noticed how bad he actually looked, and the less convinced he was to go to see Katsuki.
It was evening, the sun long gone, the wind blowing strong enough to almost take away Eijirou's beanie, but that didn't matter right now.
He needed Katsuki, so walking through the cold in the dark wasn't a big deal.
He reached Katsuki's apartment in maybe 15 minutes, his hands freezing despite being stuffed in his pockets, his nose felt red.
He rang the bell and when the door swung open, he was greeted by the brunette girl he saw hanging out with Katsuki a while back. Her cheeks were pinker than the last time he saw her. She was wearing black leggings and a long pink sweater. She looked short of breath.
Eijirou's heart dropped to his feet.
"Hi!" she said breathlessly, an embarrassed smile on her lips. "I'm Uraraka."
For a moment, Eijirou was too stunned to speak. He didn't even know if he looked as shocked as he felt.
For how long Eijirou had known Katsuki, he had never invited people over. At least, as long as he knew. Midoriya often complained about that. Kacchaan, he used to say, You always only invite Kiri over, that's not fair, I'm your friend too.
Before he could decide between saying something or run away, a voice called from inside the apartment.
"Uraraka, why did you open—" Katsuki froze on the doorway, his eyes wide. He too was panting, his bare chest going up and down with each breath. His hair looked like a mess, which made Eijirou feel even sicker. "Ei—"
Ei, again, he thought. Oh, he totally knows he fucked up.
He didn't do anything wrong, another part of him chided. Remember you're not his boyfriend. He can mess around if he wants to.
Right. They weren't together. He didn't have the right to wonder if he had caught them in the act. He shouldn't care about that. He shouldn't care.
His broken heart thought otherwise, though.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were alone, I should've called," he managed, hopefully he didn't sound too drained. He probably did.
Katsuki walked past Uraraka, his eyes lit up with worry. "Did something happen?"
The long version was, Shindou won't leave me alone and it's triggering bad memories I want to forget and I wanted comfort from you because you're the only person I trust but apparently you were just fucking some pretty girl who probably is better than me in every aspect and now I don't want to see you for the next two months.
He optioned for the short answer instead.
"No."
This time, a scowl appeared on his face, "Don't fucking lie—"
"Shindo," he just said, noticing how Katsuki's eyes flashed with pure hatred. "I don't wanna talk about it, especially now that you have a guest."
"She was leaving," his tone didn't leave room for argument.
Uraraka quickly masked her own surprise with a smile. "Yeah, totally."
Honestly, Eijirou felt like crying even more. Every single thing Katsuki seemed to have the sole purpose of confusing him.
Why did he look so worried? Why didn't he hesitate to basically kick her out if he liked her? What was on Katsuki mind?
"It doesn't matter, I gotta go anyway," he lied again, avoiding Katsuki's eyes. "See you tomorrow."
He didn't wait for Katsuki to reply as he rushed away, not wanting to be stopped, or, maybe, hoping Katsuki would run after him.
He tried to hold back his tears. He tried not to think about what was going on between Katsuki and that girl. It was already late, did she plan to stay over for the night?
Fuck, she was really pretty, wasn't she? And they were obviously busy. Did Katsuki like her better? Was he going to end things with him? Eijirou's jealousy made it almost impossible for him to breathe.
He almost got out of the building, actually slower than he intended to, his eyes burning, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, when he heard, "Red!"
Eyes wide, he saw Katsuki running down the stairs, out of breath, his hair even more of a nest than before.
He didn't care to put a shirt on, only a black coat was covering his torso. One of his slippers almost came off his foot.
"Let me drop you off," he managed, still breathing hard as he approached him.
Eijirou ignored that, too worried about his well-being. It was fucking freezing and he was standing there half naked. "Have you lost your mind? You'll catch a cold!" he chided, pulling off the scarf from his neck and wrapping it around Katsuki's. When the blonde opened his mouth to protest, Eijirou added, "You don't have to drop me off. It's just like two minutes by car, it's not worth it."
Katsuki frowned, his eyes deep and sharp. "For fuck's sake, don't tell me what's worth it and what isn't. Let me do this."
Against his will, warmth washed over him, a smile trying to make its way on his lips. Eijirou fought it down.
Katsuki had just run for his life just to not let him wander at night alone. Even if it was just for a few minutes.
Stop it, the rational part of him said. Do I have to remind you he was shirtless in the company of a girl?
Sadness started to creep across his stomach again, but he tried to ignore it. He knew Katsuki was stubborn anyway. "Only if you put a shirt on."
He could say Katsuki was about to do a fun-flirt remark, then decided better not to. "You won't run away?"
A sigh left his lips. "I promise."
"You sure you don't want to come in?"
"Yes."
There was no way he could bear the sight of Uraraka again. Not right now, not in his apartment.
Katsuki nodded before running again through the stairs, risking to trip over his slippers. Eijirou tried to warn him, but he was already half-way to his apartment.
He didn't even have time to rethink about what just happened, that Katsuki was running to him again. Eijirou's scarf was almost falling from his shoulders, he put a black hoodie on, he replaced his slippers with black boots.
He exhaled, sliding the scarf off his shoulders to wrap it around Eijirou again. Then, his hand reached Eijirou's face, two fingers cupping under his left eye. "Are you even getting any sleep these days?" he asked, a mix of worry and fondness in his voice.
He almost felt himself melting at his touch. "Do I look ugly?" he pouted.
He snorted, disbelief all over his face, a thumb lightly brushing on Eijirou's cheek, "You couldn't look ugly even if you fucking tried."
Against his own will, heat reached his cheeks, and he was sure his face turned as red as his hair. He pouted once more as he saw a flash of amusement in Katsuki's eyes.
He cleared his throat and, without saying a word, he started to walk outside the building, fighting back a smile as he heard Katsuki's steps behind him.
It was only when they entered Katsuki's car when the blonde finally broke the silence as he started the engine.
"So, about that asshole—"
"I don't want to talk about it," he cut him off, shrinking in the passenger seat.
Katsuki visibly tried not to scowl his eyes on the road. "Right. But… About Uraraka—"
"Don't. Not now."
He expected Katsuki to snap, instead he gave him a little nod. He parked the car, already arrived at the destination, and after a few seconds of silence, he asked, "Can we talk tomorrow?"
Honestly, Eijirou would need at least two weeks to process his heartbreak, but he still nodded slightly. "Yeah. Thank you for the ride."
"Anytime," he said, avoiding eye contact. It was only when he heard the door close that he called him, pushing the button that rolled down the window on Eijirou's side. "Red?"
"Yeah?" he leaned toward him, almost putting his head inside the window. As Katsuki kept looking at his hands, his jaw clicking, apparently not willing to voice his thoughts, Eijirou added, "Baku?"
For a few seconds, silence still filled the space between them. "Just…" he clenched the wheel tighter, finally locking eyes with him. Eijirou held his breath as he saw a tint of sadness in them. He didn't like it. "Sleep well."
Fighting back the urge to touch him, he managed to give him a weak smile. "Yeah, you too," he said, his eyes staying on him for a few seconds, not even knowing why, before he finally started to head to his room, his heart way too heavy in his chest.