Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

1998

The first Christmas after the war ended—after Tom Riddle was killed, the Christmas of 1998—Regulus woke the same way he had every day for the last four months. 

He gasped awake, sweat dotting his forehead, his vision blurred from stress, one of his hands shaking. He immediately tried to close his left hand into a fist, doing so before he fought his way out of the panic, and found that it wouldn’t respond to him.

It was going to be one of those days. 

His heart rate slowed as he focused on his breathing. He’d been trying to work on that lately—not letting his fears get to him so much. The only way to manage it was to breathe through it, that's what his healer said. She wasn't a mind healer, just the healer who treated his arm on his bad days, but she knew a thing or two about managing the mental effects of the war. Most people did by that point. 

Once his vision cleared and his body relaxed back into his bed, he looked over at James. He was snoring slightly, as he always did when it was this close to sunrise. He never snored first thing after falling asleep, it was only deep into the night when the snores began to spill out of his open mouth. Regulus liked the sound, it reminded him that he wasn’t alone, that there was always someone next to him when things got bad again. 

James’s arm was slung over his waist, his fingers digging into his hip slightly. He was a clingy sleeper, had been since childhood, apparently. James had shared more than a few stories about clinging to his mother when sleeping in the same bed as her as a little kid. More disturbingly, he’d shared too many stories about sleeping in the same bed as Sirius when they were students and how he’d always wake up grasping onto Sirius so aggressively that Sirius couldn’t move an inch. 

“Merlin, why were you sleeping with Sirius?” Regulus had asked the first time James brought it up. 

James merely shrugged, unbothered. “I was homesick, and Sirius didn’t like sleeping alone. This was before him and Remus, you know—”

“Started shagging?” Regulus asked with a quirked eyebrow. 

James nodded emphatically. “After that happened, Remus did not appreciate Sirius and me sharing a bed.” He leaned forward as he always did when he was sharing gossip. "One of the times we did, after Sirius had a particularly bad nightmare, we woke up to find Remus standing over us, right next to the bed, eyes glowing and everything.” He laughed. “Damn near pissed myself.” 

Regulus snickered. “You’re all ridiculous,” he told James. “And to be clear, if I catch you sleeping in bed with my brother, I’m going to do a lot worse than stare at you with freaky werewolf eyes.”

“As you should,” James replied, kissing Regulus through his grin. 

The memory made him smile now. He didn’t mind that James was a clingy sleeper. It made him feel safe, waking up and instantly feeling a warm body wrapped around his.

And on his bad days, when he wondered why James bothered to love him at all, that clinginess kept him steady. 

He lifted his good hand and ran his fingers lightly over James’s cheek. James responded with a low humming sound, leaning into Regulus’s touch slightly. He looked a bit like a dog when he did that. It would have unsettled Regulus had he not grown very accustomed to James in his werewolf form, acting the exact same way. 

Things with his lycanthropy were easier now that they had regular access to Wolfsbane Potion and an entire group to transform with. Regulus, James, Sirius, and Remus always went out to Black Manor to transform during the full moons. There was a lot of land to run around on out there, and with a large dog and a black bear to keep the wolves in check, full moon nights had become almost fun rather than something to dread. 

Besides, the Wolfsbane made Remus and James tired, so they tended to spend their nights napping more than anything. 

James loved it, as Regulus should have suspected. He started calling the group his pack, much to Regulus’s initial irritation. Regulus had been too upset by what had happened to James to find any humor in it originally, but then Remus smiled like it was the only thing he'd ever wished for, and Regulus found a way to accept it.

James might have been joking or he might have been serious, Regulus struggled to tell most days, but it made Remus happy, and that was enough. How strange, Regulus thought as the months passed, that Remus’s happiness had become something Regulus worried about. 

The best nights were the ones when Harry joined them. Harry couldn’t handle full moon nights at first, the weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts leaving him irritable and unwell, racing thoughts stealing sleep from his delicate disposition.

Not to mention that Draco was not comfortable with Harry being around werewolves, even with Wolfsbane Potion. He tried to be, Regulus could see that, but the first two times Harry tried it, Draco showed up half transformed and fully out of his mind, hissing and slashing at Remus and James. 

Being a Veela wasn’t easy; it stole bits of Draco’s self-control and kept him locked in a cage of trying to keep Harry safe. 

He settled eventually, a little at a time, and Harry had been joining them ever since. Regulus loved it, seeing Harry soar high above them and dive like he would on a broom was something special. He seemed so young in those moments, just a little kid playing with his father and godfather. Moony was more interested in watching rather than playing, and though Regulus liked to participate once in a while, he also felt like supervising was just as important.

They were now a week away from the new moon. The moon's light had already started to fill, and James had been getting more and more handsy. He was always a little handsy—not that Regulus was complaining—but as they approached the full, he would start grabbing Regulus whenever he had the chance. It wasn’t always sexual, though admittedly it usually turned in that direction when the two of them were alone.

Most of the time, it was almost unconscious, like an animal rubbing up against another, just trying to feel close and connected. 

Regulus would have to keep an eye on him throughout the day, he realized that morning as he watched him catch those lost few minutes of rest. He didn’t mind the way James reached for him, the way he grabbed his hips or held the back of his neck or, randomly, grabbed Regulus’s arse like he needed to touch it to focus, but he didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable. 

Sirius hated it—naturally, that was to be expected—but Regulus did not care about grossing him out. He’d spent far too long hiding his love for James. If his brother wanted to throw a fit, then Regulus was happy to give him a reason to. 

It was different for everyone else, though. Though Harry was very supportive of their relationship, seemingly elated that Regulus had found someone to be happy with, Regulus also noticed that he quickly averted his eyes when he saw Regulus and James acting like a couple. Though he supposed that was the best-case scenario, given how worried Regulus had been about Harry’s reaction to them. 

He’d seemed pleased at the battle, but Regulus didn’t know how much of that emotion would shift once things calmed down. 

Regulus was too afraid to ask about it. In the end, it was James who got the truth out of his son. 

“He told me not to break your heart again,” James told him. Regulus gasped slightly. 

“He what?” 

James nodded seriously. “He was quite direct about it. He will not be happy with me if things between us don’t work out, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me forever. I can't have my own son disliking me.” 

Regulus didn’t know whether to laugh or not. James seemed so solemn as he said it, and it made Regulus feel wrong-footed.

“Are you upset?”

“At Harry?” James asked. Regulus nodded. “Of course not. He cares about you a lot, and I have to be honest, that’s my favorite quality in a person." 

Regulus gawked. “Your favorite quality in a person is them caring about me?” he asked incredulously. 

“Yes,” James said without hesitation. “You’re my favorite. Someone loving you means they have good taste.”

“James, that’s—well, insane but also very sweet, but then why do you seem upset about what Harry said?” 

James finally smiled. “I’m not upset, but I know he’s not joking. He’s being serious, so it’s only fair that I act seriously too. You and I, we’re not a joke. I want you to know that.” 

Regulus was touched, though he hadn’t known how to say that then. He still didn’t; he still felt that swelling sensation inside his chest that made breathing a little difficult when he looked at James and remembered what he'd said.

He felt it a bit when he looked at Harry, too.

He’d loved Harry as if he were his own son, he’d felt that way for years without realizing it, but he’d also thought he’d never have to examine those feelings. He’d thought he would die before he got the chance. 

Now, with no more threats on the horizon, he had to come to terms with the fact that he thought of Harry as his when that just wasn’t true. Harry might care for his well-being, but Regulus wasn’t his father or even his godfather, he wasn’t anything except a stranger who’d forced his way into Harry’s life. 

It was haunting him a bit, and that Christmas morning, Regulus found that he couldn’t stop ruminating about it, as he often did when James wasn’t available to distract him, so he got out of bed and put the thinking behind him. It was a holiday, and everyone would be gathering at Grimmauld Place to celebrate.

Regulus couldn’t let them see how damaged he still was, how many pieces of himself had yet to fall into place. 

The sun was just beginning to rise when he went downstairs and put on the kettle. To his surprise, not even Kreacher was awake yet. Kreacher had moved back into Grimmauld Place after the Battle of Hogwarts. James had asked him to only an hour after Tom Riddle fell dead in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. Regulus didn’t realize he'd done that until weeks later, when he found Kreacher back in his tiny room near the kitchen. 

“Mr. James Potter wants Kreacher to take care of Regulus,” Kreacher said with grave certainty. He didn't listen to Regulus much these days. Since Regulus had freed him, Kreacher had become a lot more like a cantankerous, old friend and less like a servant. Regulus acted annoyed about it, but honestly, he loved the way things had repaired themselves around the wounds in their shared past. 

To Regulus’s surprise—and Sirius’s—Kreacher’s new favorite was James. Regulus didn’t understand it at first. James was a blood traitor and a werewolf, he lived in the Nobel and Most Ancient House of Black ancestral home, a fact that would have made Regulus’s parents throw a fit big enough to take out the whole street, yet Kreacher treated him with unwavering respect and an unusual deference. 

“He just loves you,” James told him the one time Regulus asked. “And he knows I love you, so we get along.” 

Regulus wasn't sure if James was being serious or not, but he didn't push.

Grimmauld was quiet this early in the morning, despite the unusually large number of people who were living there. Regulus had come back to the house right after everything at Hogwarts was dealt with, and he was too exhausted to leave for at least a week, so he recovered in his childhood bedroom. He hadn’t thought about where he would live afterward, he hadn't thought he would live at all, so he just stayed in Grimmauld, night after night. 

Halfway through his week of recovery, Sirius and Remus moved back in. They'd been helping clean up Hogwarts, and Remus had been dealing with all the werewolves who had been at the battle, but when they finally left, they came to Grimmauld rather than Black Manor. 

Harry and Draco came too once Lucius and Narcissa were arrested. It seemed like Hogwarts was the waiting grounds for everything that was to come, and the four of them had been staying in the castle, trying to figure out what the future held. It took four months before the trials began, but Harry and Draco came to live at Grimmauld during that time. Draco said it was because he wanted to be close to the Ministry, but Harry privately told Regulus that Draco felt safer being near Remus and Sirius. 

“You’re up early,” Sirius said, making Regulus jump slightly. He hadn’t heard him coming downstairs or entering the kitchen. Somehow, he’d missed him making them both tea as well. Sirius was holding two steaming mugs, one of them chipped from the time Harry knocked it off the table during a lively game of chess. 

“Yeah,” Regulus said, because there was no use in explaining anymore. Sirius understood; he didn’t sleep well either. Sirius handed him one of the mugs and they both sat around one corner of the kitchen table. 

“Remus kept calling out for some woman in his sleep,” Sirius said instead of asking or commiserating. They were past that by now. 

“Oh? Tonks?” Regulus asked just to be a dick. 

Sirius soured. “If he calls out for Tonks in his sleep, I’m lighting the bed on fire,” Sirius said. Regulus laughed. 

“Try to keep that fire contained. I don’t want to have to evacuate the whole neighborhood.”

“No promises,” Sirius muttered. 

“So what woman was he calling out for?” Regulus asked. 

“I don’t know her, but I think she must be a werewolf. She has one of those names, Clea, that sounds like someone who was born into a werewolf pack. I can’t remember if Remus mentioned her before, but he sounds so distressed when he says it…”

“Does that upset you?” 

“That he sounds distressed?” 

“That he’s calling out for another woman,” Regulus clarified. 

Sirius tilted his head back and forth. “Yes,” he admitted honestly. “But I’m trying to be reasonable about it. I think if he’d had some lover while I was in Azkaban, he would have told me about it by now. I think it’s something more complicated than that.” He took a long gulp of tea. Tea dribbled down his chin, and he wiped it with the back of his hand. He’d always been a messy drinker, and it hadn’t improved following his stint in Azkaban. Regulus made a face of disgust, which Sirius either didn’t see or chose to ignore. “Though I’d love it if I didn't have to wake up to Remus saying anyone else’s name but mine.” 

Regulus frowned. “Are you going to ask him about it?” 

“After Christmas,” Sirius said, waving his hand dismissively. “I don't want things to get too heavy today.”

“Me either,” Regulus said with a tired sigh. 

“What time is everyone coming over?” Sirius asked.

“Should be around eleven,” Regulus said. “But who knows? You know how Molly loves to show up two hours early, and Bill and Fleur are always late. So are the twins.” He shook his head. “Andromeda and Tonks are coming this afternoon.” 

Sirius’s face didn’t turn into a sneer, which Regulus thought was very mature. 

“Not sure about the rest. Might just be a day of people coming and going,” Regulus settled on. He didn’t know how his home had become the center meeting place for a major holiday, but he was oddly grateful that he didn’t have to go anywhere. It was easier now that so many people lived there. 

It wasn't only Sirius, Remus, Draco, and Harry living with them. Hermione had moved in as well. She’d gone with Remus to recover her parents, but things were still tense between them, and Hermione found it more comfortable to live at Grimmauld rather than with them. She saw them every other day, but it was still good for her to have some space. 

Luna and her father also lived there, in one of the guest rooms they added to the attic. Xenophilius Lovegood’s house had been destroyed after he called the Death Eaters on Harry Potter—a moment which he’d apologized for enough times to get annoying—so he and his daughter didn’t have a place to live. Regulus had opened his home to them because he knew what it meant to make mistakes, and besides, Kreacher liked Luna more than anyone, so it seemed fitting. 

Vincent Crabbe also lived there, though he barely left his room. Since Gregory Goyle’s death, he hadn’t been the same. Draco was worried he’d hurt himself, especially after his father was arrested, so Regulus had asked him to come stay so he could have Kreacher keep an eye on the boy. He still seemed too young for Regulus to consider him a man. 

There were others who didn’t live there that still frequented Grimmauld enough to make it feel like they did. Ron came over most days, Ginny too, Pansy was constantly visiting Draco, the twins came often, it was a never-ending revolving door of guests. 

Regulus didn’t mind at all. He didn’t like having too much alone time during those first few months, and really, he’d thought it would only be a few months. But then September came and went, and Hogwarts still hadn’t opened, and all his guests remained, still a bit uncertain of where to go now. 

“Why aren't they opening the school?” Regulus asked Remus only a day into September. He hadn't even thought about it, but all the seventh years had yet to take their N.E.W.T.s. 

“There was so much spell damage from the battle,” Remus said with a frown, “they’re still working on clearing it out. Not to mention that half the professors are refusing to return. Slughorn is going back into retirement, Rolanda is long gone, and neither of the Divination professors wants to return. It’s a mess.”

McGonagall had been declared Headmistress after the battle. Regulus doubted there would be any discussion about Snape returning, given his allegiance to Tom Riddle, but he’d taken himself out of the running anyway when he’d left the country two weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts. Before that, he’d been lying in a Hospital Wing bed in the castle recovering from Nagini’s attack, but once he was well enough to walk, he was gone. 

The Aurors had wanted to arrest him, he was a Death Eater after all, and he’d killed Dumbledore, but they couldn’t find him. A few weeks after he left, they received several stores of memories supplied by Dumbledore himself before his death that proved Snape’s spy status, so they decided to call off their search for the man. Regulus didn’t have strong feelings about Snape’s departure, he only hoped the troubled man found peace. 

Neville was obviously disappointed, though he was the only one that Snape bothered to leave a note for. 

Neville was another person who’d come to live at Grimmauld. He spent a lot of time in the potions lab or traveling to Black Manor—which Regulus opened to him after telling him the full story of his lives and deaths—so that he could maintain the greenhouse there. Regulus didn’t know what he was looking for or what he was researching, but he didn’t pry. Neville had lost more than most in the war, and Regulus was just happy he could provide a safe home for him now. 

It felt wrong that so much was still up in the air so long after Tom Riddle’s death. He’d originally thought that life would have settled after everything Tom was gone, but it still seemed like everyone was scrambling to find their footing after so much grief. 

Draco was the first person to join them that morning. He looked haggard, like he hadn’t slept a wink. Sirius, who’d grown very fond of Draco since their time living in Black Manor, got up immediately to make Draco a cup of tea, setting it in front of him at the table and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you planning to visit Azkaban today?” Sirius asked softly. 

Lucius had been given ten years for his crimes as a Death Eater. It was a light sentence, mostly due to his turncoat status in the final moments of the war, and it wasn’t so bad now that they’d removed all the dementors from the prison, but it was still devastating for Draco who’d just gained access to a father who knew all of him, including his Veela nature and his love for Harry Potter, and then had that father taken from him. His mother had been given a year. She’d helped them in the end, but she’d still let Tom live in her home. She’d still hidden Bellatrix after she escaped Azkaban. She wasn’t considered innocent by any means. 

Draco was wrecked by the news, but Sirius had managed to soften it a bit. He was Lord Black, and that gave him privileges in the Ministry. He’d helped arrange plans for Draco to go and visit them every single week, even scheduling one specifically for Christmas morning. Draco usually went alone; he didn’t like people to see him there, but today, Sirius was intent on going with him. 

Draco nodded. “In an hour,” he said. He glanced up at Sirius hopefully. 

“I’ll be there,” Sirius said, squeezing Draco a bit harder before heading back to his seat. It was a quiet morning, just the three of them, but once noises started sounding from elsewhere in the houses, Regulus knew it was time to get ready for the day. 

Draco and Sirius left before anyone else was up, while Regulus went up to take a shower so long that his skin would feel like it was melting off his bones from his overuse of hot water. He was only in the shower for approximately two minutes before he heard the door open and felt a body slide in behind him. 

“I woke up and you were gone,” James said, his voice scratchy with sleep. He was probably barely awake. James had apparently been a morning person when he was a teenager, but lately, he’d been sleeping later and later. 

James said it was just so he could stay in bed with Regulus for as long as possible, but Regulus thought his sleep was growing less restful as time went on. 

Regulus pressed back against him, feeling the hard length of James’s cock dig into his back. He’d gotten a little bit taller after he was bitten by a werewolf, just enough for him to be annoying about it, and it left them misaligned when they wanted to waste some time together in the shower. James grunted, gripping Regulus tightly by his waist. He dug his thumbs into Regulus’s back muscles, and Regulus bent forward like he’d been commanded to. James was always clear about what he wanted. 

It was odd living with so many people because it made Regulus feel like they were back in school, forced to sneak around so that no one would catch on. Everyone knew they were together now, but that didn’t mean he wanted everyone in the house to hear the noises coming out of his mouth as James dropped to his knees behind him and began tonguing Regulus open. He put a hand over his mouth and prayed that the silencing charms he kept around the room held. 

Regulus was gasping and shaking—his hands pressed onto the floor to keep from falling forward—by the time James pulled away, slapping his hand against the flesh of Regulus’s thigh, happily. James stood, placing a hand on Regulus's back as if to keep him where he was, and entered him with a low groan. 

Despite Regulus's bad arm, the damaged Dark Mark still giving him trouble months after Tom Riddle was gone, he was still able to keep himself steady as James thrust into him smoothly.

James was different about sex now. 

Right after he’d been bitten, he was randy all the time, pinning Regulus wherever he could get him and pulling orgasm after orgasm from Regulus until he was so delirious he couldn’t form words. He still did that now, especially right before and after the full moon, but more often than not, he shagged Regulus with intention, like he was trying to further their emotional connection using his dick. 

Regulus was getting close, and James must have known it from the way Regulus kept clamping down around him. He pulled Regulus up by the shoulders, kicking his legs open before lifting one leg to prop his foot up on the side of the tub. After that, Regulus was lost, James working inside of him with a precise snap of his hips until Regulus was painting the shower wall. 

He fell back boneless into James’s chest, breathing out a sigh of relief. 

“You seemed tense,” James said as he slipped out of him, turning Regulus’s chin so that he could kiss him deeply, pressing their tongues together like they were preparing for a dance. 

“I’m always tense,” Regulus said, only half a joke. 

James snickered softly. “Yeah, so tense,” he said, sticking two fingers inside of Regulus like he was going to press his come as deep as he possibly could. He loved doing that now, keeping some part of him on or in Regulus, no matter what part it happened to be. 

Regulus squeaked and batted James’s hand away. “We have a long day,” he told him. “If you keep doing that, I won’t be able to leave this room.” 

James laughed, but obediently pulled his hand away. They finished showering together in peaceful domesticity, moving around one another with practiced ease. They did this a lot, showered together. It seemed to be the only time they could get where no one would interrupt them. 

By the time they left their room, the house was filled with noise, everyone waking slowly and coming downstairs to the breakfast Remus had already started to make. Kreacher still did a lot of the cooking for them, but Remus loved to cook and especially on days when they would have a lot of guests. 

Once people began to arrive—Molly first, as Regulus expected—the day flew by. There had been grief and loss and pain during the war, and people seemed to work extra hard to act like they weren’t still struggling on days like Christmas. It was almost too festive, everyone acting like they were as happy as they’d ever been. 

Draco and Sirius returned right after noon, Sirius whispering to Draco quietly while Draco looked pale and worried. 

“Is everything okay?” Regulus asked Sirius when he left Draco sitting in a chair near the fireplace in the living room. 

“I think so,” Sirius said. “I’m just going to get Remus.” 

“Okay,” Regulus said and tried not to feel hurt that he was no longer the one consulted when something happened with Draco. 

It was even worse when, shortly after Christmas dinner, which they ate in the early afternoon, Harry asked James if they could talk privately. Regulus tried not to let it get to him, but he couldn’t help feeling a little out of place, like now that the war was over, he was no longer necessary, like no one really needed him. 

They exchanged gifts in a huge mess of noise and food just before sundown. It was too chaotic to keep track of who was getting what, but everyone seemed happy enough after the moment was done. Regulus looked around the room, feeling overly warm and a little too stuffed full of food. James was sitting with Harry and Ginny, the three of them talking about Quidditch, as usual. Remus and Sirius were “trapped” under a piece of charmed mistletoe and were in the middle of pretending like they’d never kissed before, to the entertainment of no one. Hermione and Ron were in the corner, their hands laced together, whispering quietly to each other. Draco was with Pansy and Crabbe up in Crabbe’s bedroom. He didn’t feel up to celebrating Christmas, not that Regulus blamed him. 

The only important people missing were Lavender and Parvati, who’d gone to visit Parvati’s parents for the Christmas holiday. The rest of them, all the people Regulus had met since he came back to life, were all clustered around the room, locked in games or conversations, all at varying states of drunkenness. Regulus was a bit drunk himself, the firewhiskey he’d been sipping on for the last few hours keeping him going. 

“Hey, Regulus,” Harry said suddenly. Regulus hadn’t noticed him leaving the conversation with Ginny and James. The two of them were still talking, both of them getting progressively louder as they argued excitedly. 

“Yeah?” Regulus asked just a bit too slowly. 

Harry smiled. “Can I talk to you for a second?” 

“Of course,” Regulus said, getting up to follow Harry out of the room and into the library. “What’s going on?”

Harry took a seat that the round table near the window, the same table where the locket had sat so many years ago. Regulus sat down across from him, feeling confused. 

“So Draco went to see his mum today,” Harry said slowly, uncertainly. 

“I heard,” Regulus said.

Harry’s eyes flicked up to meet his before dropping down to where his hands were tapping nervously against the table. 

“Did he tell you what they talked about?” Harry asked. Regulus swallowed harshly. 

“No, he hasn’t told me anything.”

“Well,” Harry said, then paused, seemingly unable to continue his sentence. Regulus gave him a moment to gather himself, but eventually intervened when Harry didn’t open his mouth again.

“Harry, is something wrong?” Regulus asked. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he assured him. Harry cringed slightly. 

“No, I have to tell you,” Harry said regretfully. 

Regulus’s head was spinning. What could possibly be happening now that would make Harry this upset? And what did it have to do with Draco?

“I—I want to leave,” Harry said finally. 

“Sorry?” Regulus asked. 

“I want to leave… for a while. I want to, I don’t know, travel, I guess. I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

“Stay here?” Regulus said faintly. “Stay at Grimmauld?” 

Harry shook his head. “Stay in England,” Harry clarified, and Regulus felt his shoulders drop. “Being here, with the way people treat me and with everything that happened, it just feels like too much sometimes. I keep trying to find a place to go, and it seems like everyone is already ready to move on, like by this time next year they’ll all be settled into their lives, but I don't know what I want to do. Sometimes, I feel like I barely know myself. It’s like I never got the chance.”

“Okay,” Regulus said, trying to wrap his mind around what Harry was saying. “What does this have to do with Draco?” 

Harry looked guilty. “Draco didn’t want to go anywhere at first, because of his parents, you know, but when I told him how I was feeling, he said… he said he wants to go with me.”

“Okay,” Regulus said again. 

“So he went to talk to his parents today, and Narcissa told him to go. Sirius—Sirius is going to take over the visits until she’s out of Azkaban.”

“All right,” Regulus said. 

Harry bit down hard on his lip. “Are you mad at me?” 

Regulus’s eyebrows flew up. “Mad at you?” he asked, bewildered. 

“Yeah,” Harry said sadly. “I know that you, and Dad, and Sirius and Remus, all of you did a lot to help me, and I know I’m betraying you—”

“Betraying me?” Regulus gasped. 

“I should want to stay here, in the life you guys gave me.”

“Harry.” Regulus shook his head roughly. “We didn’t give you anything. Your life is your own. If you want to travel, then you should do it. You’re not betraying any of us.” Harry still looked dubious, so he added, “You’re certainly not betraying me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, I’m not even sure how you arrived at the conclusion that I would be upset.”

“You died to keep me safe, you fought Voldemort, you did so much for so many years. I’m probably only alive because of you.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t do that stuff so that I could control you or something,” Regulus said. “I did that stuff because I love you.” 

Harry’s eyes opened a little wider. “You love me?” 

Regulus felt his cheeks go pink. “Well, yeah, of course,” Regulus said despite his embarrassment. “You’re like—you’ve been like a son to me. I know you have a dad,” he added quickly, “but since I went to Hogwarts to protect you, it always felt like you were a little bit mine.” He didn’t know if he'd ever felt this embarrassed, actually. “None of that matters,” he hurried to say. “What matters is that you're happy, and if leaving England and traveling with Draco will make you happy, then I’m in full support.”

He finally shut his mouth, he felt like he’d been rambling a bit. His face burned with humiliation, though he wasn't sure why. Surely Harry knew how much Regulus loved him, for Merlin’s sake, he’d been looking out for the kid for years, but somehow it felt odd to say it out loud. 

Harry made a choking sound, drawing Regulus’s attention away from his own emotional state. When Regulus looked up, he found tears running down Harry’s face. 

“Oh, Harry,” Regulus said. 

“I love you too,” Harry said softly. Regulus got up from his seat, Harry standing as well, just in time for Regulus to wrap him in a hug. 

“I could never be angry with you, Harry, or disappointed, or any of that. I promise.”

Harry shook slightly in his arms, but when he pulled back, he looked happy. “I’m so relieved,” he said through a watery laugh. 

“Is that what you talked to James about earlier?” Regulus asked. 

Harry nodded. “I wanted him to know in case you didn’t approve. I figured he could tell me if that was going to happen.” 

Regulus laughed softly. “That’s ridiculous,” he said, hugging Harry again. “You're ridiculous.” 

1999 

The second Christmas after the war started with a bang. James was having a lovely dream playing Quidditch with the Gryffindors, preparing for their game with Slytherin. James wasn’t nervous at all. He would get to see Regulus on the pitch, and that was all he wanted. He was enjoying the feeling of the wind in his hair, it was always such a rush. 

The bang woke him so abruptly that he let out a shout. He grabbed his wand first—he never slept without it—and then reached over to feel for Regulus. He woke like that at least once a week, though not always because of a nightmare, sometimes it was just the act of waking that put him on edge. That panic had been exhausting and constant right after the war, but in early February of 1999, Regulus insisted that he start taking something to help him sleep. 

Things had mostly improved since then, but it still wasn't perfect. Sleeping was still difficult sometimes. 

Like now, when he woke to a sound like an explosion and found that Regulus was missing from the bed. He jumped to his feet, his knees nearly giving out as if they weren't quite awake, and threw on a dressing robe before tossing himself down the stairs toward the noise. 

James arrived at the closed door to the potions lab in the basement just in time to hear Harry say, “I told you that wasn't the right ingredient.”

“I really thought it was,” Ron replied sadly. 

James relaxed immediately, his chest loosening now that he knew the cause of the noise. “Another failure, I guess,” Regulus said, making James jump slightly. He was leaning against the doorframe leading to the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked relaxed, and so, so handsome. “They’ll have woken the whole house with that one.”

James smiled without meaning to and moved so he could pull Regulus into his arms. Regulus came easily, that soft look in his eyes that made James want to throw him over his shoulder and carry him back to bed. They'd been together for nearly two years now, but Regulus always lit up when James did anything romantic as if he was still a little surprised by it. It would have been a bit sad if James didn’t love surprising him. 

“Why are they practicing potion making on Christmas?” James asked, placing a line of kisses up Regulus's cheek. 

“Ron has his exam in three days. If he doesn't pass this one, he won't be allowed to retake it,” Regulus said breathlessly. “Harry agreed to help him study. I told them to ask someone more qualified, but I think they just wanted an excuse to spend time together.” His eyes sparkled when James pulled away to look at him. “But don't tell them I told you that, otherwise they’ll get embarrassed.”

James snickered softly, the noise muffling when Regulus kissed him on the lips. He was always sweetest first thing in the morning, the hard exterior he wore most days was not yet adorned. He was just Regulus. James’s Regulus. 

He heard Ron and Harry starting to talk loudly again in the lab, but it didn't sound like they were arguing, more like they were bickering for fun. It made James laugh a bit. Harry was kind to all his friends, but he had a sarcastic streak a mile wide, and Ron seemed to enjoy it the most. James could understand how the two of them had been friends for so long. 

Harry had left England in January, only two weeks after Christmas, and Ron had been devastated, though James knew he tried very, very hard not to show it. He was still living with his parents at the time, and he’d been under the impression that he and Harry were going to take their N.E.W.T.s together. Ron later told James that he understood why Harry had to leave and that he was happy for his friend, but that he wasn't prepared to spend another year without him. 

Harry clearly missed Ron just the same. He wrote more letters to him than he did to James and Regulus combined, updating him on where he and Draco were going and all the weird things he was seeing. More than once, Harry had asked Ron to come out and join them. Together, he and Draco had more than enough money to fund Ron’s addition to the trip, but Ron always declined. 

In early summer, Hermione decided to go to a Muggle university in Scotland. She'd wanted access to a Muggle education after so long in the wizarding world and had decided that having both could only aid her when she eventually went to work for the Ministry, as she was planning to do. Unfortunately for Ron, she’d decided to go alone. Completely alone. Without even a boyfriend back home. 

The two of them had only officially been together since the Battle of Hogwarts. 

If Ron was devastated by Harry leaving, he was destroyed by Hermione going as well. James could still remember when they found out because he was in the middle of cooking an extravagant meal for Regulus for his birthday when Ron came through the floo unannounced. He was partially drunk and inconsolable. 

James had done his best to take care of him, and when Regulus came home to find a half-cooked dinner and a sobbing Ron Weasley at the kitchen table, he’d sighed like he was the seer of the group and had known all along that this was coming, then flicked his wand to summon a menu for a Muggle restaurant they'd begun to frequent on occasion. 

Regulus’s foray into the Muggle world was a strange one in James's opinion, mostly because he'd failed to realize how fascinated Regulus was with Muggle culture. They’d started with simple things—restaurants they could walk to, a Muggle library that Regulus owed hundreds of pounds in fines to, a park that Regulus had discovered when he was just a little kid—but soon he wanted to venture further and further out. 

James was intimidated by it, but he did his best not to show it. He’d barely spent any time in the Muggle world and only ever with Lily. Remus had tried a few times, but he always just wanted to take them to bars when they were all sixteen, and James hadn’t been all that interested in such a thing at the time. 

When they got a letter from Harry saying he was heading to Kosovo, Regulus asked if James wanted to meet him there and surprise him. They’d yet to travel to meet Harry and Draco, leaving them to their own adventures, but James could never deny Regulus anything, especially when he looked all sparkling and mischievous. 

James should have realized the real reason he wanted to go. Not to see Harry, though that was definitely a perk, but to ride on a Muggle aeroplane, a contraption that made James sick to his stomach. He was so terrified of it that he refused to fly back on one and insisted they take a portkey, which Regulus allowed with an indulgent smile.

By the time Ron showed up sobbing, Regulus was very comfortable ordering a takeaway. 

Regulus forced Ron and James to eat, then he slowly and carefully worked out what had happened to Ron, frowning sympathetically the entire time. 

“I thought she loved me,” Ron said, sounding so heartbroken that it nearly brought tears to James's eyes. 

Regulus didn't seem to have anything to say to that, but he made a face like he knew more than he was letting on. When Ron finally passed out, exhausted from crying, Regulus levitated him up to Harry’s room and left him to rest. When he came back downstairs, James said, “I’m so sorry, I was trying to do something special for your birthday." 

Regulus merely grinned, though he looked a bit worn out. "You can do something special in a week, once I've stopped expecting it again.”

James laughed. “Of course,” he said, then frowned. "Did you know that Hermione was going to break up with Ron?” 

Regulus cringed slightly. “Yes,” Regulus confessed. "She told me a couple of days ago. She was just as upset.” He shook his head. "I don't understand, but she feels like she needs to do this, and I guess she's been having some issues processing the war. It was difficult for her—not being allowed back at Hogwarts because of her blood status, and I think she sort of resents that Ron was allowed to stay, even if it was horrible for him.”

“That’s tragic," James said. “Poor Hermione. Poor Ron.”

"No one can catch a break these days,” Regulus said with a tired sigh. 

Ron moved in with them after that. Grimmauld was far emptier than it had been only months before. Hermione had moved out in mid-June, already preparing for school. Luna and her father had started rebuilding their home in March, and by the summer, it was finished enough for them to move in, and Crabbe had gone with Luna. 

Sirius, Remus, and Neville were still there in July when Ron joined the household, but James knew they wouldn't be for long. 

It had taken them almost a full year to repair Hogwarts. The spell damage and blown-up walls were difficult to repair, but more than that, the school’s protective magic had darkened after spending so long surrounded by dementors. It made it difficult for them to repair the protective wards and nearly impossible for them to make any restorative construction stick. Hogwarts was almost a magical being in itself, and they couldn't just stack stones in a line to create a new wall; Hogwarts had to accept the new piece, it had to allow them to fix it. 

It was complicated, and they’d had to use a team of cursebreakers to repair it, including Bill Weasley, who’d been living in Hogsmeade with his wife while he worked on it. 

They’d finally finished the project in May, and McGonagall, the new Headmistress, announced that the school would be reopening in September of that year. It was a win for the wizarding community. Hogwarts had been a pillar of protection for many years, and when it had fallen into Death Eater hands, it had seemed like all hope was lost. To see it reestablished to its former glory made many people feel a renewed sense of anticipation. 

Remus had been invited to return as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Supposedly, the position was no longer cursed now that Tom Riddle was dead. James hadn't even realized that was what was going on there. 

Remus hadn’t wanted to take it at first, since Christmas of ’98, he’d been having episodes tied to the werewolf packs he'd met years before, and he’d been trying to figure out what was going on. He didn't think it was right to take a professor role when he still didn't know what was happening to him, not to mention that he was still terrified of accidentally transforming without his Wolfsbane, like he had last time. 

Sirius was the one to convince him. He’d insisted that Remus was always meant to be a professor. 

“Besides, I’ll be there to make sure you take your Wolfsbane, and we'll still go to the manor for the full moon.”

"What about when I’m recovering from the moon? It was so inconvenient last time having to miss classes.” Remus had argued back. It was a weak defense, the full moons were far less damaging to him now that James was with him every time. He never hurt himself, and some of his old wounds had even begun to heal slightly. He barely had to use his cane anymore. 

“I’ll teach for you if you're too tired to do it yourself,” Sirius said. 

“You’ll—“

“Yep,” Sirius interrupted. “I already told Minnie about it, and she agreed that it's a great idea.”

Remus gave Sirius a bemused look. “So you’ll just come visit the school when it’s your turn to teach?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Sirius said. “I’m going to be working there too.”

Remus's eyebrows shot up. “What?" 

“She offered me Hooch’s position. Hooch had been wanting to retire, something about an old lover out in Egypt, and after the battle, she refused to go back. It’s not a very heavy position, just a few flying classes, managing the Quidditch teams, that sort of thing.”

“Why didn't either of you tell me this?" Remus asked. 

“I asked Minnie not to tell you. I wanted you to agree to teach Defense all on your own.” He threw up his hands. “Alas…” 

It had been a bit of a silly discussion in James’s opinion, since Remus was obviously going to say yes eventually, and even if he said no, Sirius was probably going to kidnap him and lock him in the castle until he agreed. 

As the school year approached, they decided to buy a house in one of the small wizarding villages north of the castle. Sirius didn't want to live in Hogsmeade, he thought it was too cliché, but they also wanted a place to themselves nearby, a place they could go on the weekends to get away from their jobs. 

James had been unusually sad to see them go, crying himself to sleep the night they moved out, but it turned out Sirius and Remus missed him just the same, and now he saw them at least once a week for dinner, sometimes more if James was lucky. 

Neville had moved out in August. He’d been accepted into a Herbology Mastery program in Germany at the beginning of the summer, and when Regulus agreed to make regular visits to Neville’s parents at St. Mungo’s, Neville decided to go. He lived with them through the summer, spending nearly every day with them. James cried when he left, too, much to Regulus’s entertainment. 

By Christmas of that year, only James, Regulus, Ron, and Kreacher were living in Grimmauld. 

It seemed so quiet after the chaos of the year before, but slowly, James had adapted. It was nice to have more time alone with Regulus at least, especially once the new school year started. 

Students who had been seventh years during the war were offered the chance to return to Hogwarts to redo their last year and finally take their N.E.W.T.s. Nearly everyone had said yes, only Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Crabbe, and Neville said no. Regulus said no as well, though he hardly needed to repeat his seventh year after completing so much of his schooling twice. For the few students who refused, McGonagall gave them the opportunity to take their N.E.W.T.s in October. Hermione and Regulus had taken and passed all of theirs, Hermione taking a few days off from university so she could finish the exams. Ron had pushed most of his back, opting to take them in January. Neville took them at his new school in Germany. He had such a glowing recommendation from Severus Snape that they barely required them at all. 

Harry, Draco, and Crabbe didn't take them at all. Harry said in one of his letters that when he came back—if he came back—he would apply to take them, but for now it wasn't a priority for him. James had wondered if he should try to be a parent and demand that Harry come back and be responsible. 

Narcissa had been the one to talk him out of that nonsense. She’d been freed from Azkaban in late July and had stayed at Grimmauld place for two weeks before moving into a flat in Knockturn Alley. James had told her about how he was feeling about Harry. It was strange given their lack of an age difference and the fact that James hadn't been given the opportunity to raise him. Narcissa, now that she knew the full story, listened without judgment. 

When James was finished explaining it to her, she said, "Harry and Draco have grown up with a lot of expectations, and their youths were very affected by the war. While they may have needed restrictions at one point, I don't think it would help them now. They need freedom, to be themselves, to be young and in love.”

"So you think I should let it go?" James asked uncertainly. 

"I think you should let it go,” Narcissa said, then glanced at one of the moving pictures Draco had sent to her of him and Harry in front of a statue somewhere in France. “That's what I plan to do.”

James was impressed by how well Narcissa handled everything. She looked a bit frail when she was first released from Azkaban, but she recovered quickly and with a grace that James thought impossible. The Malfoy family had faced hefty fines because of their part in the war, but after Regulus testified for them, they’d managed to skate by with enough money that they would never have to work again. 

Narcissa had used that money to buy her flat, and only a month after she was released, she began visiting her husband once a week with the help of Regulus’s ministry connections. James thought she'd be more upset by Draco not being there with her, but she seemed at peace with it. 

James spent most of the year helping Ron recover from his brutal breakup and writing letters to his son. 

Harry had expressed an interest in traveling the moment James had given him Lily’s journal from when they'd lived together. Before she died, she’d spent her free time researching places all over the world that she might want to visit. She’d told James that once they were free and once they'd separated, she wanted to take Harry everywhere. 

Of course, she'd never gotten that chance, but it seemed to heal a small part of Harry and James knowing that he was getting to go to those places anyway, and with someone who loved him so much that he’d literally torn men to shreds with his bare hands to protect him.

Regulus had actually worried quite a bit about Draco's ability to travel. Being a Veela wasn't easy, but he'd spent his first year after the war learning to control his inheritance, including discovering how to reveal and hide his wings at will. It helped him manage his urges while they were traveling. 

James loved reading Harry's letters. It was clear that with each passing week, Harry grew a little lighter and a little happier. By the time he was heading back to visit for Christmas, his letters were bordering on mania. He looked so much healthier when he showed up, well rested and well fed. He had scruff on his face that suited him, and he wore well-tailored, expensive clothes that made him look much older than the last time James had seen him. 

His son was a man, and though James had missed most of his life so far, he was ecstatic that he got to see this part. 

“How have things been?” Harry asked James when they finally had a chance to catch up, just the two of them. 

James updated him on Sirius and Remus first. 

“Is Remus still having those dreams?" 

James shrugged. “It’s hard to tell. He never remembers them when he wakes up, he only knows they're happening when he happens to sleep-talk. They’ve started looking for some of the old packs, but they haven't had much luck. It’s—It's not easy, it looks like something terrible happened to a lot of werewolves sometime between the first and second war. A lot of them are still missing.”

He told him about Narcissa and Lucius, whom Draco had gone to see the moment they landed in England, and he told him about Ron and Hermione, though he hardly needed to since Harry was in constant contact with both of them. 

“How is Regulus?” 

James grinned, as he always did when Regulus was mentioned. “Better every day,” James said honestly. “Did he mention that he’s now head of the family?” 

Harry nodded, though he looked confused. "What does that mean?” 

“Sirius was head of the family, had been since his mother died, but he never wanted it. He'd spent his entire childhood being groomed for the position, and the prospect always made him miserable. Regulus was always much better at those sorts of things—managing the family books and properties, investing the family money, and taking over the Black family Wizengamot seat. So when Sirius knew he was going to Hogwarts, he stepped down. Regulus is legally his son, so he was next in line.”

“Wow,” Harry said. "He sounded happy about it?” He raised his eyebrow in question as he said it, fishing for information. 

"I think he does. He gets to participate in law-making, and since the war, he's had quite a few ideas he’s wanted to push.”

"Like what?" 

“Like elvish welfare,” James said. "Though don't mention it to him until after Christmas. He gets very angry when the subject is brought up, and I'm trying to keep him from going on any three-hour rants until after the holiday.” 

Harry laughed at that, and when Regulus joined them just a bit later, Harry immediately asked him about elf rights, shooting a mischievous smirk James’s way. That little shit. 

Harry had spent nearly every moment after that with Ron, catching him up on all his travels—despite all the letters—and learning about what Ron had been up to. James overheard one bit of their conversation about Ron's plans after N.E.W.T.s. He'd been planning to work for the twins, but he wasn't sure it was right for him. 

“They already hired Theo, the Slytherin guy, I can't remember if I told you that. They said there is ‘always a place for me there', but I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I want to do that just because it’s available.” 

“I get it,” Harry said. "What else interests you?” 

James purposefully tuned them out after that, giving Ron some privacy to speak with his friend. When he was ready to tell James and Regulus about his plans, he would. 

“They're so responsible now,” James said, nodding to the potions lab where Ron and Harry were practicing together. “I’m surprised Draco isn't with them. Didn’t you say he loved potions?" 

“He does," Regulus said. “I think he's still sleeping, though. Harry said that he's not a morning person.” 

“So it’s just us awake then?” James asked, lowering his voice to a whisper. Regulus raised one eyebrow. 

"Why do you ask?” Regulus drawled, which meant yes. Sirius and Remus were staying with them for the holiday, as was Narcissa, but if no one else was up, then that meant James still had some time to steal Regulus away. 

He moved quickly, throwing Regulus over his shoulder, as he’d wanted to a moment before, and sprinted back up the stairs, running on his toes to keep from making too much noise. Regulus laughed breathlessly, huffing a gasp when James threw him down on their bed and yanked his pajama bottoms off. 

It was only two days after the full moon, and James was hard as a rock, probably had been since he was rudely awoken that morning. He pressed Regulus’s legs back and opened him with his fingers, relishing in his warmth. Regulus’s mouth hung open delectably as James pressed inside him, burying his cock until he didn’t know where he ended and Regulus began. 

"I love you,” he whispered. Regulus grinned. 

“You always say that.” 

When they were finished, curled in bed as the sounds of the people waking elsewhere in the house started to filter in, James felt something settle on his chest, something he'd been trying to avoid all year. He didn't want to deal with it today of all days, but then he looked down at Regulus and saw a matching troubled expression on his handsome face. 

"What are you worrying about?” James asked. Regulus glanced up at him. 

“You tell me first," Regulus said. James should have known he couldn’t hide from Regulus. 

He sighed, fortifying himself. “I want to break into the Department of Mysteries. I can't stop thinking about it. Kevalin is probably still down there and the werewolf woman… if she's still alive.” 

Regulus was quiet for a moment, then he said, “I want to pay for Barty to have an official tombstone.” He swallowed harshly. “I know he wasn't a good man in the end, but I still want to take care of him. No one else was alive in his family to do it for him.” 

Two confessions, perhaps not of equal weight or difficulty, but when James's eyes met Regulus’s, he knew that this was what a partnership meant. Supporting the other one through something horrible, something scary, something difficult. 

“All right,” James said. 

Regulus looked relieved. “All right.”

2000

Remus would love to say that he was excited to wake up in Grimmauld Place on Christmas morning, but that would be a bold-faced lie. It was the day of the new moon, and Remus should have been feeling his best—he had time off from teaching, and he was about to spend the day eating too much food and getting comfortably buzzed with everyone. It should have been perfect. 

There was just one issue. 

Since the beginning of the year, Sirius and Regulus had started fighting. Really fighting. 

Remus thought it was because of the awkward Black family dinners that had begun shortly after the Christmas of ’99, when Sirius was all but forced to attend meals with Regulus, Narcissa, Andromeda, and Dora. Narcissa and Andromeda had connected after Narcissa was freed from Azkaban, and though their relationship wasn't perfect, Narcissa seeking her sister out with an apology on her lips had been enough for them to start speaking again. 

Remus wasn’t sure whose idea the dinners were, but Regulus informed Sirius that he should come because it would be rude not to, and Sirius had agreed, though he was clearly still struggling to spend time with Dora once a month, especially since James and Dora had started spending more time together, their friendship blossoming since the end of the war. 

The fights between the brothers started somewhere in February or March, Remus couldn’t remember exactly, but one evening, he and Sirius had gone over to Grimmauld to have dinner with Regulus and James, and by the end of it, Regulus and Sirius were arguing viciously, their teeth bared like they were animals. 

James and Remus were too shocked to do much of anything that night, just staring at each other helplessly, but by the next week, when it happened again, they started trying to intervene. 

The fights got nasty quickly. 

More than once, the fights had ended because Sirius started throwing hexes, and Remus had to drag him through the floo to keep him from doing any real damage. Somehow worse than the hexes was the fact that both of them always ended up saying things, unforgivable things, like they were trying to cause as much damage as possible. 

“This is why Mother never loved you,” Regulus said one time, spitting each word like they were venom from his teeth. 

“Regulus,” James chastised, looking horrified. 

"She only loved you because you were too pathetic to fight back,” Sirius hissed back. 

“Sirius, please,” Remus begged. 

At one point, James and Remus agreed to keep the brothers separated. Neither Regulus nor Sirius seemed inclined to stop spending time together. Remus didn’t know if both of them were too proud to fold first, but he decided he and James needed to take control. However, that plan only made things worse. Sirius and Regulus both grew bitter and angry when they spent too long away from each other, like little children sulking because they’d been denied something sweet. 

So they brought the brothers back together and endured the fighting. 

A few weeks before Christmas, Remus woke from the full moon to find Regulus and Sirius fist-fighting right next to him. That fight ended in a lot of hair pulling and scratching, which was arguably a bit pathetic, but at the time, it seemed very distressing to Remus. 

He hated to think what Christmas was going to be like now that Sirius and Regulus had to be together all day. 

That wasn't the only reason things were tense in Grimmauld, though. Hermione was coming back to visit, meaning she'd have to spend time with Ron. Remus had heard the whole saga and was curious to see what happened, especially because he knew Ron was now dating Theo Nott, the Slytherin wizard who ran the Hogsmeade edition of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. The twins had opened it only a week after Zonko’s closed. Remus had spent the last three months confiscating their products from his students. 

Ron’s relationship with Theo was a bit of a shock to all of them, but according to Regulus, Ron had asked at dinner one night how Regulus and James knew they were gay, the first clue that this might be coming. 

“I had no idea,” James had told him. “Never even suspected until I couldn’t stop following Regulus around. I think it took a dream for me to realize I felt that way.” 

“I think I always knew,” Regulus answered. “I never had any interest in girls, but anytime I imagined marrying someone, it was always a man. Before I went to Hogwarts, I thought maybe I just wanted to marry one of my friends.”

“I guess it's different for everyone,” James said honestly. 

Two weeks later, Ron brought Theo home to meet Regulus and James officially, announcing that they were now dating. He’d dated periodically since his breakup with Hermione, but nothing had stuck until Theo. Remus didn’t know if Hermione knew about Theo, nor did he know if she would care, but he had to admit he was curious. 

Remus looked over at Sirius and wondered how he would feel watching him date someone else. Even the thought of it made his chest hurt. To soothe himself, he twisted over in bed, covering Sirius’s sleeping body with his own, and started nipping at his neck and shoulder. Sirius woke with a soft moan and pressed his hips back, grinding into Remus’s length. 

It was nice on the new moon. He knew in a few days he'd start obsessing about some new project he needed to complete on their home, but for now, he felt like a regular man. He fucked his husband like a regular man, that was for sure, working him over until Sirius was shaking and desperate. 

Once they left their room, ready to start their Christmas, Regulus and James were already up and moving about the kitchen. James was making breakfast shirtless, which Remus very much didn't need to see, and Regulus was leaning against the counter, admiring him. 

“Happy Christmas,” Sirius mumbled as they entered. “Prongs, please put on a shirt.”

“Don’t listen to him," Regulus said dismissively. Sirius scowled, and Remus’s shoulders climbed up toward his ears. 

As much as Remus didn’t want to watch Regulus and James ogle each other, he was glad that they seemed back to normal. It had been a stressful year for them. In January, Regulus had surprised everyone by paying to have Barty’s body moved from an unmarked grave made by the Ministry into a cemetery near Grimmauld Place. Sirius had been furious, and James was clearly struggling with it as well, but Regulus held firm. 

“He was my friend once,” was all Regulus would say. 

In February, Regulus and James had nearly been charged with a crime after they broke into the Department of Mysteries. Sirius had to leave Hogwarts for three weeks to handle the issue, paying several barristers and, allegedly, bribing more than a handful of Ministry officials, to get them free. Apparently, James had gone back to free the werewolf he'd met there.

“She was gone,” James said, obviously wrecked by the news. “So was that asshole, Kevalin. They said he'd been fired when I asked, but I found the notes about him. They said ‘dismantled.’” He lifted his fingers to do air quotes at that. 

“We found information on Tom, though,” Regulus said, clearly trying to soften the blow. James had given him a grateful smile, though it was clear it didn't solve his heartache. 

“Tom was the other man there with you?” Sirius asked gently. James nodded. 

“I found his real name," James said. 

He heard about what happened later, that James had gone searching for him, even hiring a Muggle private investigator to find his family. It took four months, but once he did, he was able to meet his son, now a grown man, and tell him that his father never abandoned him, that he loved him. It was a weight off of James, Remus could see that, but it wasn't exactly easy. 

Remus’s own search for the werewolves wasn’t going much better than James’s had. He was looking for Clea, a woman he’d met sometime during the first war. He'd thought she’d just moved on, but once he started calling her name in his sleep—he was so lucky Sirius didn't leave him over that—he discovered that she'd gone missing during a full moon. And not just her, either; an entire pack had gone missing with her. It had been happening for years, small packs of werewolves vanishing during full moons. Remus had begun searching for them before starting at Hogwarts, but he'd yet to have any luck. 

There were other things that made it a heavy year for Regulus and James, though they weren’t all bad. Some of them were melancholic or ridiculous or just pure ambition put into practice. 

They’d started going together to leave flowers at the graves of people they'd lost. Remus was surprised to hear that Regulus suggested Lily first, especially given everything he'd gone through, but James seemed so relieved that Remus thought he could understand Regulus’s motivation. 

After Lily, they moved on to Evan Rosier, a Death Eater Mad-Eye Moody had killed in the first war. He'd been a friend of Regulus’s. They also went to visit Pandora’s grave, a small tombstone right under a massive tree on Xenophilius’s property. 

It was hard for them, Remus thought, but they always came back a little closer. 

Alexander, a young French man who'd attended Beauxbatons during the Triwizard Tournament, also came to live in England that year. He'd gotten a job at the Department of Magical Games and Sports at the Ministry. Remus barely remembered him, but apparently, he and Regulus attended the Yule Ball together during the Triwizard Tournament. Remus knew now, of course, because James had complained about it for weeks after Alexander reached out to Regulus and asked if they could continue their friendship. 

Regulus agreed. Remus thought he just didn't know how much it was affecting James at first, but one night, Remus had the misfortune of overhearing Regulus taunt James with information about the lunch he and Alexander had the week before. James had lost his cool faster than Remus would have thought possible, and Remus barely had time to floo home before the noises started. He went home grateful that he was dating Sirius and not Regulus. He wasn't sure he could handle that level of jealousy dangled in front of him. 

He thought Regulus was a bit insane, actually, but he had to admit that he’d grown to truly like and respect the man. They’d spent a lot more time together since the war ended, often visiting Black Manor and taking care of the Greenhouse together now that Neville had left for Germany. Regulus was funny and cutting in a way that always made Remus wheeze with laughter. 

Regulus was also deeply, deeply caring. Remus had always sort of known that, but it was different seeing it firsthand. Since taking over as head of the Black family, he’d begun campaigning for elvish welfare and werewolf rights. 

“Dobby has been a massive help drafting everything for the elves. He knows what he wants, and he’s always good at getting input from the other elves,” Regulus told him. 

Those weren't the only two issues he cared about. He’d become very infatuated with Muggle rights, reading countless books on the subject that Hermione sent him. 

“They’re a nice break from the romance novels James and I have to read for our weekly book club meetings with Cho, Lavender, Parvati, and Padma,” Regulus said, shaking his head like that sentence didn't sound completely barmy. “I like nonfiction, I never thought I would.”

He’d already started making plans for his next improvements to the wizarding world that he would focus on after he passed his changes for elves, but it wasn’t just through the Ministry that he wanted to make changes. 

"Did you know that James used to want to be a teacher to young kids?”

Remus gazed at him questioningly. They were walking the grounds of Hogwarts. Regulus came to visit periodically to talk to Professor Burbage. 

“No, I don't think so,” Remus said. “I thought he wanted to be an Auror.”

“He said he didn't think he was well-suited for it,” Regulus said with a tiny, private smile. “Before he died, he decided that he wanted to teach kids before they went to Hogwarts.”

He didn’t add anything else, but Remus could see the wheels in his head turning. 

“Yeah?” Remus asked after a long moment of silence. 

“It's a shame that Muggleborns are so disadvantaged when they go to Hogwarts, and not just them, their families too. I think there would be less of a divide if Muggleborns could start earlier and if wizard kids could meet people who are different than them before Hogwarts.” 

Remus smiled. “Yeah, that would be amazing,” he said. 

Nothing had come of it yet, but he knew well enough now that once Regulus set his mind to something, he could not be stopped. 

Ron, Harry, and Draco joined them in the kitchen only a few minutes after Sirius and Remus came down from their room. Both Harry and Draco were tanned from their travels, making Ron look paler than he already was. Harry and Draco had been somewhere in Brazil only a week earlier, visiting with none other than Severus Snape. 

“He’s got a little potion shop there,” Harry told them. “He speaks like four languages and he's married to a Muggle woman.”

“A Muggle?” James asked, his mouth dropping open. 

“Yes,” Draco said primly. “Her name is Megan. She's actually very friendly." 

Ron, Draco, and Harry crowded around the kitchen table, falling into their seats as they all sleepily rubbed their eyes. 

“When is Theo coming over?” Draco asked Ron. Remus still thought it was interesting to watch Draco and Ron be so cordial with each other. He was sure it was for Harry’s benefit. 

“In a few hours,” Ron said. “I think he's having breakfast with Blaise.”

“Oh, that's right.”

“You didn’t want to go to breakfast with Blaise?” Harry asked Draco. 

Draco scowled. "And listen to Blaise complain about another girl who broke his heart? Merlin, no. I hear about it enough in his letters.” 

Harry laughed. “We can invite him over here if you’d like?” 

Draco’s eyes lit up, though Remus noticed he was trying very hard to hide it. “Okay, I’d like that.”

By the time everyone was over for the holiday, the living room was so stuffed that people were spilling out into the hallway. Ginny had brought her entire Quidditch team, she'd been drafted onto the Holyhead Harpies a few months before, and she was clearly keen to show off. Remus couldn’t be sure, but he thought he noticed Pansy Parkinson rolling her eyes at the girls, throwing hurt looks at Ginny periodically. 

Seamus and Dean were also there, both of them with their girlfriends, though they seemed to be more interested in sharing facts about their girlfriends with one another than actually interacting with said girlfriend, as if trying to one-up each other. By the end of the night, both of the women looked like they were very much over the day. 

Luna had come over with her father, Crabbe tagging along as he often did. The two of them had been close friends since the final battle. 

It was an entertaining evening, comforting even with the young adult drama clearly playing out in front of him. He was almost relaxed until he went to the kitchen to get another piece of pie and found Sirius and Regulus locked in another one of their fights. He was tired by that point of the day, and he was sick of watching them do this. 

“Will you both quit it?” Remus yelled, louder than he’d meant to, cutting through the arguments Sirius and Regulus were throwing at each other. “You’re supposed to love each other! You fought an entire war together! Why are you acting like this?” 

“Ugh,” Sirius said, scowling in disgust. “Don't say things like that.”

“Like what?” Remus yelled. 

Regulus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Okay, Lupin,” he drawled. “I love him very much, does that help?” 

Remus had never felt so agitated. “No! Why are you saying it like that?" 

“Like what?” Regulus asked, speaking like Remus was a moron. 

“Like you hate him! He killed Bellatrix because you died. Doesn’t that at least mean something to you?” Remus felt flustered as he finished speaking. Regulus and Sirius shared a look before bursting out laughing. 

They left the room, both joyfully mocking Remus, leaving him feeling confused and lost. A few seconds later, Ron entered the kitchen, seemingly also going for pie. 

“You okay?” Ron asked when he spotted Remus. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” Remus said quickly. “Sorry, Sirius and Regulus were—”

“Ah, they were fighting again,” Ron said knowingly. 

“Yes! Why are they doing that?” Remus asked against his will. He was just at a loss. 

“I think it's ‘cause they spent so long hating each other and then so long worried about losing each other. Now that they're safe, they can finally act like normal brothers,” Ron said with a shrug before grabbing two slices of pie and leaving the kitchen with a little wave. 

It hadn’t occurred to Remus, he was an only child, as was James, but when he rejoined the party a bit later, he noticed Regulus and Sirius joking with Harry, both of them working together to mock Harry for something or other, Harry red-faced and embarrassed. He noticed, just for a second, that Regulus and Sirius shared a conspiratorial look before going back to what they were doing. 

It hadn’t made sense before, but now that he was looking, he could see the love between them. 

2001

Christmas of 2001 was quieter than the past years. It was also the first one Regulus and James spent living in Black Manor. They’d planned to buy property to open the school they'd been working on for months and months, but they couldn't find anything they liked, and the school required so many protective wards that they had to be very particular. 

After spending so long searching, they realized that there were only two options, and though Grimmauld Place had been Regulus’s home for so, so long, and through so many parts of his life, he realized that he liked Black Manor more. It was more spacious, and there was a lot more room to gather if they ever wanted people to come stay with them. Plus, Regulus couldn’t help looking at the ballroom every time he went, imagining the grand parties he could through there. He hadn’t been into formal parties as a child, but now, as an adult, his feelings were changing. 

They’d fully remodeled Grimmauld to prepare it to function as a day school, adding entrances on the street for Muggle parents to bring their children. They would be accepting children as young as five, muggleborns and otherwise. They had also created a program for the muggleborn children’s parents so that they could learn about the world they were now connected to. 

It was a massive project, and Regulus was sure it would take years for them to build it into what they wanted it to be, but it was a start. They planned to open in January of 2002, only a month away. 

Regulus woke to an empty bed, a phenomenon that was becoming increasingly common as they prepared to open their school. James had said a few months prior that he needed to get used to it if he was going to be teaching early in the morning. Regulus was touched by that until the first time James tried to wake him at five in the morning. Regulus had flung a stinging hex at him so fast that he barely noticed what he was doing, acting while he was still asleep. 

James didn't try that again. 

He took a moment to appreciate the sunlight streaming in through the window. They were lucky it wasn't raining or snowing, given the time of year. Regulus knew it would still be cold outside, but the sun was still a nice break. He lifted his damaged arm to inspect it, as he did every morning. He'd been going to a healer for it for years. She’d managed to make it look less like a sunken-in scar, which was good because after the war, the appearance of it was starting to make him feel sick, but he could still see the effects of the curse, especially on the days when his fingers wouldn’t move. 

Today, he was able to clench them into a fist. That was a good sign. 

It didn't take him long to find James once he got out of bed, he was in the greenhouse, the warmest room in the house, filled to the brim with magical plants. He was sitting in one of the chairs Regulus had purchased for the room, his hands resting on his knees and his eyes closed. He'd been doing this a lot lately, meditating on the magic inside him. 

Regulus snuck in quietly, sure that James would have already heard him coming with his werewolf hearing, but still intent on being stealthy for a moment. He lowered himself to the ground, kneeling between James’s slightly spread legs. He glanced up at the man, whose face was still completely blank, then he reached out and placed a hand against his cock. 

James jumped slightly, reaching out to grab him as his eyes flew open, but there was already a grin on his face. 

“You scared me!” James said with a laugh. 

“Sorry,” Regulus said, sounding anything but. 

James’s smile stretched even wider. “Well, as long as you're down there.”

Regulus grinned lecherously and licked his lips as James pulled his joggers down his hips. They’d been together for years now, but somehow this never got old. It felt so scandalous to do it out in the open like this, but they lived alone now, and though Regulus was sad when Ron finally moved out, renting a flat near the Ministry, he was still intent on taking full advantage of having James all to himself. 

Once they were done, Regulus was panting and desperately hard, but when he tried to reach for his cock, James batted his hand away and refused to let him do anything to relieve the desperation he was feeling. James just grinned that evil grin of his, his eyes narrowed dangerously, and Regulus let him because he loved it when James let out the pieces of himself that no one else got to see. 

“How are your meditations going?” Regulus asked a bit later when they began making Christmas dinner, Kreacher apparating around the kitchen to help them. 

“It’s going well,” James said, but there was a worried line between his eyebrows. Regulus didn't push; he knew James had to work this out on his own. 

About half an hour into cooking, people began to show up. Draco and Harry were first, Narcissa and Andromeda coming through with them, both sisters laughing quietly. Harry and Draco had still been traveling all year, and though Regulus was always happy to see Harry happy, he had to admit that he wished they’d come home. He wanted to see Harry every day, or at least once a week. He was tired of only seeing him a few times a year. 

Sirius came over with Neville and Hermione. Neville had gotten his Herbology and Potions mastery over the summer and was immediately offered the position of Herbology professor at Hogwarts. Sprout was itching to move on to something greater, and she was glad to be done with it. Sirius said Neville was a natural, that he fell right into the role like it was made for him. 

“The kids love him,” Sirius said. "They're always talking about how cool his scars are. Of course, I mentioned him killing that giant snake, and that definitely helped.”

Regulus had to agree with the kids, Neville did look quite cool with the scar running down his cheek. He’d grown into his awkward teenage body over the last few years as well and now stood a head taller than most of the people they knew. His broad shoulders made him look like a force to be reckoned with. 

“Where is Remus?” James asked. 

“He’ll be along,” Sirius said. “He got a call this morning about his search. I was going to go with him, but honestly, I don't see this going very far either. We’ve been hitting a lot of dead ends.” 

“I’m sorry,” James said earnestly. 

Regulus was glad to see Hermione in the group again. She’d graduated from her Muggle university program in the summer and invited Regulus and James to join her parents at the ceremony—James loved Hermione’s parents, he couldn't believe they hadn’t met yet, but after that day, he visited them at least once every two weeks. Shortly after graduating, she'd taken a job at the Ministry working for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. It wasn't where she wanted to stay forever, she had high ambitions, but it was a start. 

However, since taking her job, she'd barely visited. Regulus thought it had something to do with the fact that Ron was always coming over to see them and Hermione was carefully avoiding him. 

At the end of August, after she'd taken the job, she'd gone to Ron and asked to get back together. He and Theo had ended things by then, amicably, thankfully, and Ron was finally single. When Regulus heard about Hermione going to talk to Ron, he thought Ron would be relieved and happy to get back together, but instead, he told her no, that he deserved to be with someone who really wanted him and didn’t just end up back with him because it was comfortable. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Hermione said to Regulus later when she was recounting what happened. “I really do love him.”

"I know you do,” Regulus told her. It was well after Christmas dinner by the time they got a chance to talk, but Regulus was just relieved to hear from her after barely seeing her for so many years. “But you really broke Ron's heart when you left like that.”

Hermione made a distressed noise, and Regulus decided to change tactics. 

“You know, I don't think you did anything wrong ending things with him. You needed a chance to be on your own and to work through everything that happened to you, but don’t you think Ron deserves that same chance now? None of this has been easy on him.”

“Yeah, I suppose you're right,” she said with a frown. Regulus put a comforting arm around her. 

“I think what you need to do is focus on being Ron's friend again, rather than his girlfriend. That’s how things worked out before, isn’t it?” 

Hermione smiled sadly but finally nodded. “That’s a good idea.” 

“I’m really glad you're back,” Regulus told her honestly. The smile she gave him then was genuinely happy. 

Hermione stayed at Black Manor late into the evening, as did everyone else. Parvati and Lavender were spinning around and dancing by the time Regulus returned to the living room. They’d gotten married earlier that year, Lavender demanding that Regulus be her maid of honor during the ceremony, a position he filled with pride. Their wedding was nearly a two-week-long celebration, considering they decided to have an English Muggle wedding, an Indian wedding, and a wizarding wedding all back to back. It was quite a show. Parvati and Padma ran a gossip magazine now, so they made sure to publish as many photos of the ceremonies as possible. 

“We’re helping people by showing them parties thrown by witches with good taste," Lavender told him. She worked for the Ministry, though he wasn't sure which part. She said it was a boring desk job and seemed more than happy not to talk about it, so Regulus didn't pry. 

Seamus and Dean were in a loud conversation with Neville. They’d spent the year dating various witches, only for them to have a blowout fight and get together in the middle of the summer. Regulus was a bit relieved. He didn't follow their drama very closely, but he was starting to think that if things didn't work out, someone was going to end up murdered. 

Crabbe and Luna were there with some of the other Slytherins. Crabbe looked better than he had in years. He and Luna had been traveling in Central Asia, looking for magical creatures to publish stories about. They’d amassed quite a following through her father's magazine. 

The Weasleys were all crowded in the room, Ginny glaring at Pansy, who appeared to be ignoring her, and Arthur asking Harry and Draco detailed questions about their travels. He’d left the Ministry that year, going to work at a Muggle corner store after Hermione’s father mentioned that he didn't have to work with wizards. 

Arthur loved it. He looked happier than he had in years. 

Bill and Fleur were there with their Victoire, their daughter who'd been born the year before. She was an angel, clearly taking after her gorgeous mother. Charlie was smiling at them, hand in hand with Tonks. Apparently, they'd dated at Hogwarts and had recently rekindled their romance. Sirius said he didn’t know if it would last, but Regulus thought he might just be a jealous little baby. 

Fred and George were joking with their mother and Theo. They were about to take their shop international, opening their first one in the United States in only a few months. 

It was an exciting night for each of them, and Regulus found himself comforted to be surrounded by so many friends. 

“Hey,” James said quietly. "Take a walk with me?” 

“Okay,” Regulus said, burning with firewhiskey and happiness. He followed James out into the clear night, shivering slightly against the cold. James kissed him and then led him out toward the cliffs. "You're not going to throw me off, are you?”

“If I were going to murder you, I wouldn't do it while everyone who loves you was right inside,” James said. 

Regulus laughed, blushing slightly at the way James had phrased his sentence. 

“Then what is it?” Regulus asked. 

“I wanted to show you something,” James said, kissing Regulus again before pulling away. 

“All right,” Regulus said slowly. The wind blew through his hair, piercing his skin and making him shiver, but he barely noticed, because in front of him, James closed his eyes and a moment later, he was replaced by a massive stag. Regulus gasped. “Prongs?” 

The stag bumped him with its nose. Regulus tossed his head back and laughed. 

“Oh, Merlin, you figured it out!” he yelled. 

James made a very strange deer sound that Regulus interpreted as him being happy. Regulus grabbed Prongs’ antlers and felt another laugh bubble up. 

"You know what this means, don’t you?” Regulus asked 

James bumped him again. 

“Now, I can finally eat you.” 

James froze, then took two steps back as Regulus transformed into a bear. They didn't go back inside for nearly an hour, sprinting around the grounds, playing like two little kids. 

2002

Sirius wrote a letter to Harry telling him that they didn't need to come for Christmas that year. Narcissa was thinking about meeting up with them in Switzerland, Harry and Draco had been staying there for nearly two months, and Sirius knew they were enjoying themselves. He didn't want to bring them down with how poorly things were going in England. 

It was the worst Christmas Sirius had had since the one where his mother locked Regulus in his room for speaking out of turn, and Sirius couldn't do anything except listen to his brother cry from outside the door, knowing he was aching with starvation and rejection. 

There were parallels of that Christmas to this one if he searched for them, but he didn't like to search for them. It was easier not to. 

In March of 2002, Remus finally caught a break in his search for the other werewolves, a trail that led him to Ireland, where he found several diaries hidden in a cabin built right on the western coast. Remus had found it because of rumors about a man who'd once used it as a way station when searching for werewolves in the area. The cabin looked like it had been abandoned for a few years when Sirius and Remus went down to check it out, but the diaries hidden under the floorboards gave them their next clue. 

It was complicated, a trail so thick with secrets that Sirius figured it would never be solved. He kept wanting to go to someone more prepared for such a search, but things were still complicated with the werewolves and the Ministry. Regulus had been pushing for the reformation of werewolf laws for years, but he was still met with enough opposition to make it extremely difficult. 

People’s minds weren't easily changed, and when someone leaked to the press that many werewolves had fought with Voldemort up until the final battle, public opinion shifted even further away from what they wanted. 

So Remus was left alone in his search, only Sirius, James, and Regulus there to help him. 

About two months after he found the diaries, he discovered the name of a man who lived in Peru, one who claimed to be able to change werewolves, to heal them. Remus was worried he was connected to whatever was happening to the werewolves in England, but there was no way of knowing without going there. 

He asked around with some of the packs he knew and learned that only werewolves could visit the man, that he lived in a village so deep in the mountains that it was impossible to find by anyone who didn't have lycanthropy in their blood. 

“I think I have to go,” Remus told Sirius one night while they were having dinner. Sirius had been expecting it. It was like the first war all over again, Remus being called away to something important and Sirius being left behind. Only this time, Remus wasn’t distant and secretive. He got up from his seat, pulled Sirius’s seat away from the table, and knelt in front of him, grabbing his hands. 

“Change me,” Sirius begged, unaware that there were tears in his eyes. “Bite me on the next full moon and let me go with you." 

Remus smiled sadly and kissed him. “I would never forgive myself for doing that,” Remus said. “But I won't go if you don't want me to. I’ll stay. I’ll give up this search.”

Sirius almost wanted to take him up on his offer, but when he looked into Remus’s warm, kind eyes, he knew he couldn’t. His husband had spent years trying to find answers, and Sirius couldn't deny him this. He kissed Remus hard on the mouth and then threw himself at the man, begging against Remus’s lips to be taken to bed. Remus did, and when they were finished, Sirius finally spoke. 

“You can't go alone.”

Remus was quiet for a long time. “There is only one person I would trust enough to go with me.” 

Sirius's eyebrows furrowed in confusion before understanding settled over him. “Regulus isn’t going to like it.”

Sirius was right. Regulus didn't like it. But he understood. James would do anything for his friends, and Remus was asking for his help. It was in James's nature to say yes, to help in any way he could. Regulus was stiff and devoid of emotion when he said it was a good idea to take James. When Remus asked if Regulus was okay with it, Regulus only nodded and left the room. He looked shell-shocked, like he had when he was a kid and had just been told he couldn't leave the house for a week because his mother didn’t want to watch him while she was traveling. 

James and Remus left in June, right after the end of term, and Sirius managed to stay in the house he shared with his husband for an entire week before he couldn't stand it. He flooed to Black Manor and went searching for his brother, finding the house eerily silent as if it had been abandoned for years. 

He located Regulus inside the closet James used. It was big enough to fit a full-sized bed, but it was currently filled to the brim with clothing Regulus had purchased for James over the years. He was standing in the center of the room, his hands clasped behind his straight back, his muscles incredibly tense. 

“Regulus?” 

“Hm?” Regulus responded. 

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked, though after a second, he knew. The smell of James filled the room, the subtlety of it clinging to James's clothing. Sirius had been sleeping—or trying to sleep—on Remus’s pillow for the last week just so he could get a whiff of his comforting scent. It seemed he and his brother weren't that different. “Have you eaten?” 

“When?” Regulus asked. 

“Today,” Sirius said. 

Regulus seemed to think about it, but when his silence went on for too long, Sirius had his answer. 

He dragged his brother from the closet and asked Kreacher to make them some food. The next day, he moved into Black Manor. He couldn’t stand to be at home without Remus, and he was pretty sure his brother would fall apart if he wasn't there to take care of him. Both of them were affected by Remus and James’s absence, but Regulus seemed to be taking it much more personally. 

Sirius didn’t understand why at first, not until Remus and James had been gone for a full month, and Regulus finally confessed. 

“It’s my own fault,” he told Sirius. 

“What is?” Sirius asked. They were playing chess, or at least pretending to, so Sirius wasn’t quite following. 

“If something happens to either of them, it’ll be my fault,” Regulus rephrased. 

Sirius frowned. “How?” 

“Because I haven’t done enough to change the laws. I’ve been wasting time.”

“How have you possibly been wasting time?” Sirius asked incredulously. 

“I spend a lot of time with James. We're not doing anything important, just spending time together. I could have spent that time at the Ministry. I could have worked harder.”

“Regulus, that's ridiculous.”

“No, it's not,” Regulus said harshly, anger on his teeth like blood after a fight, but it quickly turned to sadness. He leaned back in his chair, gazing hopelessly at the ceiling. 

“Is this why you agreed to let James go so quickly?” Sirius asked. He'd been admittedly curious, it never seemed like Regulus had a single complaint about the situation. Even after Remus and James were gone, Regulus was still disturbingly quiet on the subject. 

Regulus nodded jerkily. Sirius blew out a long breath. 

“I wish you'd stop punishing yourself for existing,” Sirius said. 

Regulus lifted his head to give him a confused look. 

“There is nothing wrong with spending time with James. You could spend all your time with him, and it still wouldn't be a waste. But that's not even the case. What about your school? What about the changes you’ve already made?” 

“I still feel useless,” Regulus whispered. 

Sirius’s chest ached. “I know,” Sirius said, because he understood the feeling. “But you're not, and I wish you would stop treating yourself like you are.” 

Regulus stopped sleeping in the bed he'd shared with James only a few days after Sirius moved into the manor, and by September, both of them were sleeping in the living room, stretched out on opposite couches in front of the fire. 

School started back up, and Remus and James were still gone. Sirius went back to Hogwarts, taking over Remus’s defense classes using the detailed notes Remus always kept. It was a lot of work, managing that and all of his flying professor duties, but Sirius did it because Remus would have been horrified to come back and find that his students had fallen behind. Regulus went back to handling things at the school James had started. Regulus wasn't a teacher, not for the students at least, so he was forced to hire someone to take James's place for the time being. 

Sirius could see the way the prospect was weighing on him, but it got easier when Hermione stepped in to help. 

“What about your job at the Ministry?” Regulus had asked her when she offered to take over the position. 

“It wasn’t exactly what I wanted,” Hermione said vaguely. "I can always go back. I think I just need a little time first.”

Regulus seemed conflicted, but in the end, he agreed to accept Hermione's help. It was a weight off of Sirius’s shoulders to know Regulus wasn’t completely alone. 

Despite teaching at Hogwarts, Sirius still lived at Black Manor. It wasn't exactly the norm for professors, but every single night, when Sirius went back to his office, he would floo back to Black Manor and stay there. He hated leaving Regulus alone, and he couldn't sleep when he was by himself, so it was the only option. 

Things got worse in October when Ron went missing. 

Regulus and Sirius didn’t notice at first. Ron was busy most of the time, working with Fred and George, but he still made an effort to see Regulus at least once a week. After he didn't show up for three weeks, Regulus began to grow worried. It was even worse when they asked the twins if they'd talked to him and learned that Ron hadn't been working for them at all. More than that, they hadn't seen him in over a month. 

Neither Regulus nor Sirius had the time to search for him, but they tried their best. By the end of November, they were pulling apart at the seams. James and Remus were still gone, and Ron was still missing. 

Hence, Sirius’s letter to Harry about staying in Switzerland. Harry agreed to do so, but he demanded to be kept updated on the search for Ron. 

About a week before Christmas, Lavender came over looking guilty and upset. Regulus was distressed, already pulled taut with how hard the year had been on him. It took nearly an hour for Lavender to tell them why she was there.

“I don’t work a boring desk job at the Ministry,” Lavender said. She was struggling to speak as if she would be sick at any moment. She kept having to stop and restart her sentences as if she couldn’t quite get them right. It took Sirius far too long to understand what was going on. 

“Are you under a Tongue-Tie Curse?” Sirius asked. 

Lavender didn’t answer, likely couldn't answer, but she looked so relieved that Sirius knew he was right. 

“Who put a Tongue-Tie Curse on you?” Regulus asked sharply. 

Lavender looked torn. 

“Was it your job?” Sirius guessed. Lavender looked relieved again. 

“What kind of—oh,” Regulus breathed. 

“Oh?” Sirius asked. 

“The Unspeakables,” Regulus said. “You're an Unspeakable.” Lavender rolled her hands around each other, as if to press him to keep going. "And so is Ron, isn’t he?”

Lavender laughed in triumph. 

“That's how he went missing, it was something to do with his job,” Regulus said, and this time it wasn’t a question. 

On Christmas Day, Harry showed up at Black Manor. 

“Harry, what are you doing here?” Regulus asked him, though he was up and pulling Harry into a hug before he even finished his sentence. 

“I know you guys said I didn't have to come, but I’ve really missed you,” Harry said kindly. Sirius was oddly relieved, he’d been doing everything he could to protect Harry from what was going on, but he missed him more than he had in past years. “Plus, I wanted to talk to a few people about Ron. I know you said it had something to do with Unspeakables, but there has to be something we can do.” 

That evening, after a day of subdued Christmas festivities, Hermione announced that she was going to go looking for Ron. Harry apparently offered to go with her, the two had been talking about it all day in private, but Hermione said that she needed to go alone. 

Regulus didn't appear to know how to take the news, and he was still clearly chewing on it a few hours later when Hermione and Harry had both gone off to bed and Regulus and Sirius were lying on the couches they'd been sleeping on for months. Sirius was seconds away from asking his brother what he was thinking when they heard a door open and close. Regulus moved so fast that Sirius thought he'd apparated. 

His little brother sprinted through the corridors toward the front door, Sirius following him just a few steps behind, both of them sliding around a corner just in time to see James and Remus setting down their bags, exhausted looks on their faces. Regulus threw himself at James, practically flying through the air into James’s arms. James caught him with a grin, and Sirius forced himself to avert his eyes just in case he was about to see something indecent. 

He approached Remus at a slower pace, but when he felt Remus’s warm, strong hands curl around him, he just about collapsed. 

“You’re home,” Sirius breathed. 

Remus smiled, gentle and kind, as he always was. “I’m home.”

2003 

Regulus woke, clinging to James, his heart pounding and his hands shaking. He was sure he had a nightmare, but the memory of it vanished the moment he opened his eyes. He was digging his fingers so desperately into James's side that he was sure there would be bruises later. The thought filled him with shame, and he carefully untangled himself from the man. James used to be the clingy one, but lately, it almost felt like James was pulling away. 

Regulus didn’t understand why, but something in James had changed, and Regulus felt like he was being left behind, just really, really slowly. 

The changes had been gradual, but Regulus thought they may have started around the first full moon of the year in mid-January. Remus’s search for the werewolves had led him to Peru, where he and James met a woman named Ines. They’d thought they'd been looking for a man based on the diaries, but Ines was the real person they needed to meet. 

She was a leader and teacher on werewolf transformations. Peru had far more werewolves than England did, though none of them had known that before. She didn't know anything about the disappearances Remus was researching, but that didn't mean she wasn't helpful. She was the heir to sacred knowledge that had been passed down from before the Spanish colonized South America, knowledge that directly correlated to a werewolf’s tie to the moon. 

Regulus didn't understand it very well, mostly because Remus and James refused to explain it. They just kept giving each other looks like they were sharing a private joke and telling Sirius and Regulus to wait until the full moon came. 

On the full moon night, the four of them went outside onto the grounds of the manor as they usually did. While waiting for the moon to rise, James began telling a very detailed story about a meal he'd eaten at a local fishing hut while he was traveling. The meal was apparently so good that it had brought him to tears. 

He spent far too long talking about it, describing every single ingredient as if the others were going to start taking notes. He spoke for so long that Regulus nearly missed the moment the moon rose. It shone down from the sky, its silver light making James look ethereal, but strangely, nothing happened. No screaming, no bones breaking. Nothing. 

"What's going on?” Sirius mumbled confusedly. James and Remus shared another secret grin, and then Remus began explaining to them all they’d learned with Ines—all the rituals they’d gone through, the months of meditation and internal work on their relationship to their wolf. 

“You no longer have to transform?” Regulus asked softly once Remus was finished. 

James nodded happily. It was an amazing moment, something that had weighed so heavily on them for years had now been fundamentally changed. Not only did this mean Remus and James wouldn't have to endure the bone-breaking and horror of each full, but it also meant that Remus could potentially help more werewolves when he found them. Remus was also hopeful that this newfound connection and understanding of his werewolf form would allow him to find the missing wolves. 

Regulus had been elated that night, as had the rest of them, but since then, James had slowly started to drift. They spent a little less time together and a little more time apart, they stopped having sex as frequently, they missed each other for meals, and more often than not, Regulus woke alone next to a cold spot on the bed. 

He knew that James was busy getting back to the school. Hermione had stayed on to help with the growing number of students, but Regulus knew she was getting restless, and she probably wouldn't come back after the new year. Regulus was also busy, visiting the Ministry nearly every day, meeting with anyone he could threaten into giving away their time. 

But they'd been busy before, and they'd still made time for each other. Now it felt like James would rather spend time with someone else. He spent a lot of time with Remus and Sirius, saying he was helping Remus with the search. Harry and Draco had finally moved back to England after years spent traveling, and James worked to see Harry every single day—it was easy considering Harry had yet to decide what he wanted to do for work, not that Regulus was interested in pressuring him, so he had an excessive amount of free time. James also spent an inordinate amount of time with Tonks, which annoyed Regulus to no end, though he refused to say so. 

Regulus just felt such a disconnect from James, and by the time Christmas came around, it was eating him alive. He kept getting caught up in worst-case scenarios of what felt like an inevitable breakup. Regulus would be heartbroken and left behind just like last time. Would everyone in his life finally see how worthless he was? Would he lose his brother again? Would Sirius choose James over him once they were no longer together? Would Remus? Would Harry? 

He'd made him self sick from thinking more than a handful of times, but that morning, he decided to put his panic and dread aside. If all they had left was Christmas, then Regulus was determined to enjoy it. 

Or he was at least determined to make sure everyone else enjoyed it. 

He was expecting a pretty sizable group for the holiday, as was typical for them, especially given that they hadn’t had a celebration the year before. Harry and Draco were now living with them in the manor, which Regulus loved, so he was able to see them first thing when he left the bed. James was still sleeping when he left, but sometimes Regulus wondered if James would have preferred to wake up alone. 

Harry was making tea in the kitchen, and Draco was sitting at the nearby table reading a copy of the gossip magazine Padma and Parvati ran. Ginny was on the front cover, along with the rest of her Quidditch teammates. Pansy Parkinson had just recently started her own clothing company, and Ginny was the first person she’d dressed, saying that her fame as a Quidditch player helped Pansy’s business succeed. 

Only a moment after Regulus sat down to join them, Hermione and Ron came through the floo. The previous year, Ron had been trapped in a weird time loop caused by his work as an Unspeakable. Apparently, they'd been a few weeks out from declaring him legally dead when Hermione showed up. Regulus didn’t know all the details—the Unspeakables did love their secrets—but what he did know was that once Ron and Hermione came back, they didn't separate again. 

They showed up holding hands and smiling at each other, and that was it. 

Regulus greeted them happily, his smile faltering just a bit when James entered the room a second later. Regulus forced himself to look away while James hugged each of them, wishing he were anywhere else. James did not hug Regulus, and Regulus had to be very careful not to let his hurt show. 

By the time Sirius and Remus arrived, the room was loud with celebration. The only quiet one, beyond Regulus himself, was Hermione. 

“Okay?” Regulus asked. 

Hermione nodded, then said, “Do you think we could talk?” 

They went for a walk around the manor. It was snowing outside, and it would be too miserable to stroll around. Walking inside the manor wasn't bad, though. Regulus enjoyed it most days. It kept him from feeling too stir crazy. 

“So what’s up?” Regulus prompted. 

“I got a job offer,” Hermione said immediately. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It’s—well, it’s exactly what I want. It has to do with lawmaking and reform, I’ll get to work alongside the Aurors without actually being one. I’ll have close contact with the Minister and all of his staff. It’s amazing.”

Regulus glanced over at her and waited for her to continue. She didn't, though. She tucked her lips in between her teeth, and Regulus understood. 

"But you're not going to say yes, are you?" 

Hermione sighed. “I don’t know. I should, shouldn't I? I’ve worked so hard for it.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “What is it you're not telling me?” 

Hermione gave him a sidelong look. “Why do you ask that?” 

“Because you’re not a very good liar, especially not to your friends.”

Hermione sighed again. "Very well,” she said. “I was offered a position at The Daily Prophet.”

“That dribble?” 

She nodded with a frown. 

“And you want to take it?” 

She shrugged. 

"Oh, you really want to take it.”

“I think you might be disturbingly good at reading my mind,” she said. Regulus laughed. 

“I can be clever too, you know,” Regulus said. He waited a beat before continuing. "I think you would be an excellent journalist.” 

“Yeah?” Hermione asked, her eyes bright. 

“Yeah,” he said with a grin. He meant it to. Rita was a terrible journalist, but Regulus always believed that someone competent working for The Daily Prophet would be a collective good for all of them. He couldn't think of anyone better than Hermione. 

They headed back toward the party after a while, and the moment they entered, the room slowly fell silent. Regulus looked around uneasily. More than a few people were watching him. 

“Do it now,” Regulus heard Harry whisper, just barely audible. 

James cleared his throat. “Regulus,” he called and lifted a hand, palm up, gesturing for him to come forward. Regulus’s stomach dropped. He was going to do this here? Now? He stepped forward at a glacial pace, dragging his feet a bit. 

“Yes?” Regulus asked. He could feel everyone in the room watching him, but he didn't dare look at them. James wouldn’t be this cruel, would he? Regulus felt like he was in free fall. 

“I’ve been wanting to say all of this for a long time,” James said, squeezing Regulus’s hands, the bad one just a little numb in his grasp. “But I’ve been waiting for the right moment. After everything that happened last year, I knew I couldn't wait any longer.”

James looked nervous, and that made Regulus feel even more nervous than he was already feeling. His blood was rushing in his ears. Should he run? He was contemplating it. He probably would have gone through with it had James's hands not tightened. 

“Not to mention,” James said, glancing at someone over Regulus's shoulder, “everyone I’ve asked about it has told me that I have to.” He leaned forward to whisper, “They even said they would lock me out if I didn’t do it tonight.” 

Regulus couldn't think of anything to say in response. His mouth felt too dry. His vision swam dangerously.

“What?” Regulus said without meaning to. 

“Regulus,” James said. “When I was a teenager, I used to fantasize about stealing you away from your family." 

Regulus’s eyebrows jumped up forehead. 

“I know it sounds insane, but long before I knew what love meant, all I wanted was to see you happy and cared for. Even after we broke up, I still wished that I could take you away from everything that made you miserable, that I could protect you.”

“James,” Regulus whispered. 

“I wish I’d known then what I know now, that wanting you safe and happy, also meant wanting you with me. I wish I'd been able to see it. I’m only lucky that I know it now." 

“I’m confused,” Regulus confessed. 

James smiled a little dreamily, then dropped to one knee. Regulus thought he was going to pass out. “Do you remember what I said to you in the tent? That first time, when you forgave me.”

“I didn’t have to forgive you,” Regulus whispered, lightheaded and discombobulated. 

“I said that I’d loved you for years, that I’d wanted you for years, that I wouldn't survive if you let me have you again and didn't let me stay,” James said. “That's never changed. Even after all the years we’ve been together, all I've ever wanted was you next to me.” 

“James?” Regulus said again. He was sure he looked like an idiot, but his brain was barely functioning. 

“Regulus,” James responded. “Will you marry me?" 

“You’re not breaking up with me?” Regulus asked immediately. James's mouth dropped open. 

“No, of course not,” James said, and Regulus realized that he was very, very dumb. “So… will you?” 

Regulus choked on a sob, unaware that he'd started crying. “Yes,” he gasped. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” 

2004 

Sirius originally thought his baby brother and James would get married quickly, but after everything that had happened since the proposal, he was a bit relieved that they were still in the planning process. Regulus had suggested a small ceremony at first, but when his book club full of girls heard about his idea, they’d laughed him out of the room. 

“James told them before he told me,” Regulus said, rubbing his face in distress. 

“James told everyone before you,” Sirius said. “Even McGonagall knew months before you did. Godric, he carried that ring around in his pocket for months. It was pathetic.”

“He did?” Regulus asked, his voice faint. 

“Yes,” Sirius said with a shake of his head. “Why? Does that surprise you?" 

Regulus shrugged. “I never thought he would want to.”

"Get married?" 

"Marry me,” Regulus clarified. "I thought that was only something he would consider with—”

“How can you be this smart and this dumb at the same time?” Sirius asked. Regulus scowled. “He probably would have married you the first time around had things not gotten so fucked. He married Lily because there was a war on and everything felt urgent, but he was always going to marry you once he got you back. Even I knew that, and he refused to talk to me about you two for the first two years of your relationship out of some misguided respect for us.” 

“Oh,” Regulus said. “Did Harry know?” 

“Harry's the one who made him do it on Christmas. He was sick of listening to James complain. He kept avoiding you, thinking that was going to make it easier. As if you'd ever say no,” Sirius added with a laugh. 

“Oh,” Regulus said again. 

Sirius knew what it was like to feel unlovable, he and Regulus had the same childhood after all, but he'd failed to realize until that year how much that feeling still plagued his little brother. Sirius made an agreement with himself, and then with Remus when he had the chance, to make sure that by the time Regulus got married, he knew how loved he was. 

Regulus started wedding planning in February, but it was a long process, and Sirius knew it would be another year before they managed it. 

Things got busy for all of them that year anyway, and soon Regulus and James's wedding fell to the back of his mind. In May, McGonagall pulled Sirius into a meeting and asked him if he would be interested in becoming Head of Gryffindor House. Sirius was touched, but he had to know, “Why not Remus? He’s a much better pick.” 

“Remus is an excellent professor.” Sirius grinned, he loved it when people complimented his Remus. “And I do not doubt that he would be an excellent Head of House, but I believe he is going to be too busy next year to manage both roles.”

At the time, McGonagall had been hinting toward the book Remus was planning to write. He hadn't told Sirius about it yet, waiting for it to be a surprise, but he'd informed McGonagall of his plan. She was in full support, offering him anything he needed to complete the project. What she didn't know was that Remus would be far busier during the next term for a very different reason. 

In June, Remus finally caught a break in his hunt for the werewolves. During one of the full moons, a night they still spent with Regulus and James out of habit, Remus fell asleep and started to hear whispers. 

“That must have been what I was hearing years ago when I was calling out in my sleep,” Remus told them the next morning. “Only I was too blocked from my werewolf side, and I couldn't remember them once I woke up.” 

The whispers led him to somewhere in the Netherlands. He’d wanted to go alone, but Sirius and James refused to let him do it. They didn't want him to be in danger. Remus dug his feet in, his face already drawn with that stubborn pout, but Regulus ultimately was the reason Remus agreed not to go alone. Sirius didn’t know what he said to Remus, but after they had one conversation in private, Remus agreed to let them go. 

It was good that he did because they ended up stumbling on an illegal magical research center run by Kevalin, the Unspeakable, who'd kept James prisoner years before. He wasn't so much a man, not anymore, more like a group of compiled magical cores, all lifted from the dead and sewn together in one body. 

Based on James's description, he looked far more horrifying than he had when James knew him. Sirius could barely look at him, his misshapen body making his stomach turn. 

It was good for James, Sirius thought, they he finally was able to come face to face with the man who'd tortured him. It took all four of them to defeat him, but Regulus had dealt the killing blow. Once he was dead, they were free to search his lab, discovering dozens of werewolves in varying states of survival. 

They called the Aurors right away, well aware that they were in over their heads. 

Remus finally found Clea, though she was half dead and did not survive the rescue. Remus was devastated. “She didn't even make it to the hospital. If we had come just a day earlier.” 

Sirius did his best to comfort him, but there were more pressing matters. Most important was the one werewolf they found that was far younger than the others. She looked like a toddler, and when they used a spell to detect her age, they found that she was only fifteen months old. She had a bite down her entire right side, painting a very ugly picture of what happened to her. She had a fluffy head of blonde hair and eyes that were such a dark brown they almost looked black. She was perfect. 

She was taken to the hospital right after she was found so that the Aurors could find her parents—apparently Kevalin had brought her there when she was still human and locked her in a room with a transforming werewolf—but after two months of searching, the Aurors discovered her parents had died shortly after her birth. She’d been taken from an orphanage. A Muggle orphanage. 

She was a Muggleborn, they realized in horror. Though Kevalin didn't know that, if his notes were to be believed. He wanted to see how a Muggle infant would handle a bite and transformation. She almost certainly would have died had that been the case, only her hidden magic saved her. 

“What's going to happen to her now? It's not like they can take her back to a Muggle orphanage,” Sirius asked. Remus bit down hard on his lip. 

"I don't know," he said, but he looked worried and not just about the girl. He looked the kind of worried where he wouldn't meet Sirius’s eyes, like he was afraid Sirius would be upset. Sirius may have been, years ago, when he was overwhelmed easily, but he was a different man now. He reached out and grabbed Remus's hand. 

“We could raise her,” Sirius whispered. 

Everything happened quickly after that. They didn't even have time to update anyone before they were bringing her home. Their house wasn’t baby proof—Sirius hadn’t even known that was a thing despite visiting the Potters several times after Harry was first born—and they spent those first three days running around their cottage making sure there wasn’t a single thing that could hurt her. Sirius didn’t think they slept a wink that entire time. 

A few days later, they took her to Black Manor, traveling through the floo with the baby strapped to Sirius’s chest. She was too young to apparate through side-along apparition so this was their only option. Remus was terrified something terrible would happen to her in the floo system, like she might stick out her arm mid-travel and lose it when it collided with a fireplace wall. 

He got Sirius into such a state that Sirius was shaking so badly he could barely stand by the time he arrived at the Manor. When he saw Regulus, and Regulus saw the baby, he nearly fell over. He unstrapped her from his chest but kept her tight in his arms, her little tuff of blonde hair sticking around from his grasp. 

Regulus’s eyes widened, sticking to the baby’s head like everything else in the room had disappeared. 

“Who is that?” Regulus asked, his face pale. 

“She’s—” She hadn't had a name, even at the orphanage. She was taken too young. Sirius and Remus had just been calling her baby, too afraid she might run into a corner or throw herself off the sofa to think of what they might call her. “She’s our daughter.” 

Regulus blinked twice, then surprised Sirius more than he'd ever been surprised before and held out his arms. "Can I hold her?” he asked gently. 

They named her Penelope, Penny for short, breaking the Black family tradition of naming kids after stars, and for a while, they moved back into Black Manor. They both had to go back to Hogwarts and needed extra help to care for her. Regulus and James were busy, but they volunteered to help immediately. Only a week later, when Sirius took her to the monthly Black family dinners that were still going on years after Regulus had organized them, Narcissa offered to move into Black Manor to help as well. 

A month after the Hogwarts term began, Lucius was freed from prison, ending his ten-year sentence a few years earlier. He was a shell of the man he'd once been, but he was determined to spend time with his family now that he was free, so he moved into Black Manor with his wife.

Draco and Harry were already living there. They’d talked a few times about moving out, but the manor was so massive that they could go days without seeing anyone if they wanted to. Draco had started studying for his N.E.W.T.s while Harry had taken up a position with Ollivander. It surprised everyone when he'd done it, but Harry wasn’t interested in explaining himself. He knew what he wanted to do, and he didn't care what anyone else thought of it. 

That Christmas, though Regulus and James weren't quite married yet, they looked more in love than ever. They doted on Penny most of the day and spent the evening celebrating the new werewolf reform Regulus had finally passed through the Ministry. It was a huge deal, though Sirius hadn't known all the details of it until after it was passed. 

It changed the laws about werewolf employment and the treatment they could receive at magical hospitals. It allowed them to attend schools and broadened access to the Wolfsbane Potion. There was so much more to it, so much that would have helped Remus during those long years when Sirius was in Azkaban. 

“How did you finally manage it?" Remus asked. 

James started laughing, and Regulus smacked him in the shoulder. 

"I had to—stop laughing!” he hissed through a smile. James valiantly tried to hold in his laughter, though Sirius could see his face turning red with the effort. “I had to form an—” he sighed, “unlikely alliance.” 

Remus shared a look with Sirius. 

“An unlikely alliance?” Sirius asked. James looked over at Harry, and the two of them fell into another fit of giggles. Regulus rolled his eyes. "Who is it?" 

“Shall I tell him?” Regulus drawled. James could barely answer with how he was laughing, but he managed a nod. Regulus turned back to Sirius with a long-suffering sigh. “It was Cedric Diggory.”

2005 

Harry and Draco were together for eight years before he finally admitted to himself that he had something of a wing kink. Draco, the smug bastard, knew well before him and always shot him a sharp smirk whenever Harry would beg him to let his wings out. 

He was doing that again. It was Christmas morning, and the snow outside was falling hard enough that they couldn’t see much of anything through the windows. Harry was pinned to the bed, his legs spread as Draco slowly lowered himself onto Harry’s cock. They didn't always do it like this. Draco was quite fond of bending Harry over just about any surface he could find, but sometimes, on slow mornings, Draco loved to trap Harry beneath him and ride him until Harry was losing his mind. 

“Please, I want to touch them,” Harry gasped. 

“Beg me then,” Draco taunted, as he always did. That taunting voice used to make him so angry when they were kids, but now it just made him harder. 

He begged, as Draco requested, and when Draco's wing stretched out behind him, wide and elegant, Harry came with a long moan. 

He was grateful they had strong silencing charms around the room. Draco had added them himself. They'd had the manor to themselves for a few weeks leading up to Christmas day, but now the place would be packed again. 

Narcissa and Lucius had moved out in the middle of summer, going back to the grounds where Malfoy Manor had once stood. The Fiendfyre was still burning, and they had to hire several wizards to come and put it out, but once that was done, they were left with an empty field burnt clear of dark magic. 

“They're going to rebuild the manor,” Draco told Harry. 

Harry hesitated. “Do you want to go with them?" 

“No,” Draco said immediately. “I wasn't happy there, near the end, and I—I haven't missed it.” He leaned over and kissed Harry softly on the corner of his lips. “I want to be wherever you are.”

“And if I wanted to move into Malfoy Manor the second?” Harry joked. 

Draco didn't laugh, but he looked fond. "Then I guess I’ll have to adapt to living without you.”

Draco's parents still came back to visit periodically, but since Sirius and Remus had moved back into their home near Hogwarts, Narcissa spent a lot more time going up there to take care of Penny.  

It had been a good year overall—Theo had started working at Hogwarts as a potions professor after he'd done all he wanted to working for Fred and George, Neville and Hannah Abbott had started dating, as had Ginny and Pansy, thank Merlin. Harry didn't think he could take another year of them hurting each other’s feelings and having blowout fights that somehow required both Harry and Draco's input. 

Penny was growing well, also. Harry had never been around a baby except in the brief moments that he visited with Bill and Fleur, but Penny was incredible. She was smart and bright, and, most importantly, she loved Harry. Remus had asked Harry to be godfather to her a bit after Christmas the year before, and Harry had nearly teared up at the idea. It was almost like having a little sister. 

The only truly bad thing that happened that year was in May when Regulus collapsed in the middle of giving a talk at the Wizengamot. He was working himself to the bone, and it finally all caught up to him. He’d started convulsing on the floor of the Ministry, in front of all his colleagues. Sirius had been called to St. Mungo’s right after it happened since most people still thought he was Regulus's father. By the time James and Harry made it there, Sirius was a wreck.  Harry and James weren’t doing so well themselves. 

“Regulus is going to be okay,” James told all of them later that evening. "The curses he endured during the war have finally started to take their toll. We’re going to have to increase the treatment he's getting, and he’ll,” James swallowed several times like his throat was too constricted to do it properly. “He’ll never be completely healed, but there is some new research coming out of MAGUSA that sounds promising.” 

It was a difficult summer for James and Regulus, both of them trying to manage the health problems Regulus was dealing with, but luckily, it didn't affect their wedding plans too much. Harry had worried it would, and he wasn't happy about it. 

He'd finally put his foot down the year before, demanding that James get on with things. “You might not have forever,” Harry told him. 

“Is that a threat?" James asked. 

"It can be if you want it to be,” Harry said. “Regulus deserves to be married, and you waiting around isn't doing anyone any good.” 

Parvati and Padma planned the wedding for late August. It was extremely extravagant, every room in Black Manor was decorated, and it seemed like half the wizarding world was in attendance. Harry didn't know more than half the people who were there, though they unfortunately all knew him. 

Harry had thought James was going to ask him to be his best man, and though he knew he would be touched by it, he'd decided early on that that wasn't how things should be, and since James couldn't be trusted to do things alone, Harry had to do it for him. 

“You should ask Sirius to be your best man,” Harry told him. 

“Yeah?” James asked questioningly. 

“Yeah,” Harry said. “He’ll be hurt if you don't, and you were his best man. It only makes sense.” 

“Okay,” James said slowly, then seemed to warm to the idea. “Okay, that's a good idea." 

A week later, Regulus quietly asked if Harry might consider, if it wasn't too much of an inconvenience, being his best man, and Harry nearly tackled him with a hug. 

“Yes! Of course! I’m so glad you asked me!” Harry shouted and then very carefully pretended that he didn't notice Regulus crying. 

They asked Remus to officiate the wedding, making the wedding party fundamentally the same five people as Sirius and Remus's wedding. James had thought that was hilarious. 

Narcissa and Andromeda had a heavy hand in the wedding plan as well; though it was Parvati and Padma’s show, the Black sisters had a lot of experience planning parties. Draco had even agreed to help, spending long hours drinking tea with a group of women as they planned the wedding of the century, or so Parvati and Padma were calling it in their magazine. 

Harry didn't cry at the ceremony, but Sirius did. He openly sobbed the entire time, and when it was over, Remus dragged him into a tight hug like he couldn’t help himself. Harry and Draco had danced at the wedding, twice by themselves and three times with Penny squished between them. 

After his dance with James, Regulus had what seemed to be an endless list of people who wanted to dance with him. Luna and Lavender and Hermione and Ron and so many more, it felt like it would never end. James danced with a few people, Narcissa once, Andromeda twice, and Tonks for three full songs, but then he found a seat near the wall of the ballroom and sat down to gaze out at his husband lovingly. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?" Harry said after he left Penny in Draco’s arms and went to sit next to his father. 

"Am I?" James asked, suddenly worried. 

Harry snickered. "Say thank you, Harry,” Harry said in a sing-song voice. 

James laughed. “Thank you, Harry.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Harry drawled. “Couldn’t let my two dads figure it out for themselves. It would have taken another twenty years.” He turned to smirk at James and found him staring back with his mouth wide open. “What?" 

“You said two dads,” James said. 

Harry blushed a little but raised his chin proudly. "Well, yeah, you and Regulus. He’s my father, too.” 

For a second, he thought James was upset, but then his lip wobbled slightly and his eyes filled with tears. 

“Oh, Dad, don’t cry,” Harry said fondly, letting James hug him tight enough to hurt. 

“I think you should tell Regulus what you told me,” James said. 

“What?" 

“That you consider him your father,” James said. 

“He knows.”

"He might not,” James said. "I think he'd really like to hear it from you.”

James was right. Regulus didn't know—the idiot—and he was very touched to hear Harry say it. By the end of the night, Harry was so stuffed full of touching moments that he needed to sleep for a week. Draco had dragged him to bed that night and shagged him until the sun rose, pressing Harry's face into the pillows as he knelt behind him, just the way Harry liked it. 

James and Regulus had left for their honeymoon a few weeks after the wedding. They would have gone right away, but Regulus had to stick around to finish passing some of the elvish welfare laws he'd been working on for years. It was a big win, freedom for every single elf in the country, and Regulus was finally able to take the vacation he deserved. 

They returned the day before Christmas, and Harry was looking forward to spending the day with them. He'd been so busy at the shop designing a new set of wands for the next round of first years—he had a knack for wandmaking, and using the Elder Wand (something he thought was a myth but James informed him not only existed but had been left to him by Dumbledore) made him even better—and he was looking forward to the day off. 

About halfway through their morning, when Harry had just started eating his second serving of cinnamon buns, an unknown owl came through the wards. Kreacher opened the window for him and let the owl fly straight to Harry’s side, holding out its leg for Harry to unravel the note tied there. 

He sent the room a questioning look, but no one seemed to know what it was. He set his plate down and carefully untied the note, rolling it out on his hand. 

Harry, 

I know it's been a long time. I hope you don't burn this letter. I know I owe you a lot of apologies, and I’m happy to give them, but you see, I need your help. Five years ago, my wife and I had a daughter. I was going to send you a letter about it, but I never got around to it. Everything was normal until a few months ago, and then weird stuff started happening around the house. Weird stuff like when you were a kid and Mum would get furious. I think my daughter might be like you. I don't know what to do. I know the way Mum handled it wasn't right. I'm old enough to know that now, but Mum and Dad don't want to see her anymore. 

Please, can you help me? 

Dudley

2006 

Nine years after the war, Kreacher died. 

It happened three weeks before Christmas, and Regulus was so rocked by it that he hadn't gotten out of bed to do anything but use the loo and go to Kreacher’s funeral since he discovered his cold, still little body. He was an old elf, he'd been old since Regulus was born, but Regulus had never considered the possibility that he might die. Not until it happened. 

No one else seemed to understand why he was distraught. 

Regulus had screamed when he found him, and James had come sprinting into the room, surely afraid that Regulus's curse damage was affecting him again. Regulus didn't remember what happened next, all he knew was that one moment his throat was closing as he stared down at the body of one of his oldest friends, and the next he was slowly dressing in an expensive pair of black wizard robes for the funeral. 

A group of other elves came, Dobby included. Only a few of them had ever met Kreacher, but they knew Regulus was the one who'd been fighting for elf freedom for the last few years, and they respected him enough to come pay their respects to his elf. 

Sirius and James were on either side of Regulus, but he could barely feel them. He thought he spoke at the funeral, but he didn't know for sure. At one point, Luna came up to him and hugged him for long enough that he nearly collapsed into her, exhausted by grief. Blaise was with her, which Regulus would consider interesting months later when he learned that the two of them were dating, but at the time, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but broken. 

James had taken care of him as he wallowed in his sadness. Crying and sleeping for long hours, growing disgusting from his lack of bathing. He would have starved to death if it weren’t for James bringing him three meals a day and forcing him to eat. 

He didn’t make him get out of bed until Christmas morning. Regulus was still resistant then, but James was warm and strong and handsome, and Regulus let him carry him to the shower and relished the feel of James's fingers against his scalp as he washed his very dirty hair. He cried again in the shower, even though he felt like he'd cried all the tears he ever would, and James just helped him, rubbing his back and kissing his forehead. 

It was a quiet Christmas that year. Regulus wasn’t sure he could entertain guests, and James seemed to know that. Harry and Draco were there, of course, since they lived in the manor. Narcissa, Lucius, and Andromeda came in the late afternoon, and Sirius, Remus, and Penny joined them in the evening. There was some event happening at Hogwarts that Christmas, so they weren’t able to come earlier. Regulus didn’t know or care what the event was. 

Sirius set Penelope on the ground when they arrived, and she ran right toward Regulus, crawling into his lap and placing her tiny fingers against his cheeks. 

“Reggie’s sad?” she asked in that gentle voice of hers. Regulus nearly started crying again. Penelope looked a bit tired, though they were still a few weeks out from the full moon. She was too young to learn how to control her transformations—Remus thought she’d probably have to be an adult before that happened—and she was still a year out from being old enough to try Wolfsbane potion. The full moon nights were rough, but Remus and James started transforming with her, and Sirius and Regulus were always there in their animagus forms. 

“Yes, Penelope,” Regulus said, he was the only one who called her by her full name, “I’m still a bit sad.” 

Penelope frowned and then threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, tears in his eyes, his glance meeting Sirius's over her shoulder. He looked like he was crying a bit himself. He smiled when he noticed Regulus looking at him, and Regulus smiled back. If their mother could see them now… 

2007 

Ten years after Voldemort died, on Christmas Day of 2007, Harry finally proposed to Draco. It was all planned, had been for months, but the moment he dropped to his knee, Draco started laughing. 

Harry’s face dropped into a frown. “That's not what I was expecting,” Harry mumbled. 

Draco shook his head, though he was still laughing. "No, no,” he said breathlessly. “Look!” He reached into the pocket of his dress trousers—he always wore elegant clothes, just like Regulus—and pulled out a small box. He opened it immediately, revealing a black ring covered in white diamonds. 

“No way,” Harry gasped, still on one knee. "You were going to ask me?" 

Draco nodded. "Will you—”

“No! I get to go first! I’m already on one knee!” 

“Oh, please don't be ridiculous!" 

“I swear they bicker more than we do,” James whispered to Regulus. They were sharing one of the large chairs near the fireplace. The room was stuffed full of people they loved, people who loved them back, and Regulus felt contentment settle over him. 

He watched Draco and Harry argue jokingly before kissing and placing engagement rings on each other's fingers. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Hannah, Seamus, Dean, and Crabbe were whooping loudly in celebration. Pansy was clapping almost sarcastically, as were Theo, Lavender, and Parvati, though Regulus could see how pleased they looked. Luna was jumping up and down in excitement, while Blaise was busy watching her like he'd never seen anyone so beautiful. 

Regulus felt tears prick at his eyes, and he glanced quickly at James, a confession already on his tongue before he realized it. “James,” he said quietly. 

“Yes?” James asked, turning his full attention on Regulus. 

“I have to tell you something," Regulus said, his chest growing tight. 

“Okay.” James looked a bit concerned, but his hand tightened on Regulus's shoulder comfortingly. 

Regulus took a deep breath. "I don't want kids,” Regulus told him. 

James's eyebrows furrowed. He opened his mouth to reply right as another loud laugh went through the room, drawing Regulus’s attention. Draco had dipped Harry into a kiss, and he was gripping roughly onto Draco's shoulders to keep from falling. Regulus smiled and turned back to James. 

“Any more kids,” Regulus corrected. 

James’s face brightened slightly. “Just us?” 

Regulus nodded once, pressing himself against James so he could enjoy having his home filled with love for a little longer. 

It was strange to be sitting there after so many years. 

He’d thought he was going to die. He'd thought it couldn't be helped, that it was inevitable, that it was necessary. 

He’d thought he was going to die.

But he was living. 

He was living.