Chapter Text
Genius Invokation TCG was a mistake.
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed sixteen-year-old Kaveh had not considered that there might be consequences to his actions, and present-day, twenty-nine-year-old Kaveh really wished he could invent a time machine to go back and strangle himself.
His next-best plan was to break into the Sanctuary of Surasthana and beg Lesser Lord Kusanali to kick them into a new samsara that would overwrite his stupidity, but that would require fighting through the Corps of Thirty and the entirety of the Akademiya, which would not work because he was an artist, not a fighter. Besides, even if he did manage to reach the Dendro Archon, she would probably (in her infinite wisdom) tell him that he was overreacting. She wouldn’t understand. Archons were not human; they had the perk of outliving everything and letting their embarrassments be lost to the sands of time. Kaveh did not have that luxury.
“You’re sure you don’t want to play?” said Cyno.
How the General Mahamatra could look so much like a kicked puppy while still commanding the respect of every passerby here in Mondstadt’s little festival was a mystery.
“I’d rather not,” said Kaveh, voice strained. “For one thing, I don’t have a deck—”
“You can borrow one of mine,” said Cyno.
“—And for another, I don’t find it very fun,” said Kaveh.
Cyno put a hand over his heart as if those words had been a physical blow.
“It isn’t that big a deal,” said Tighnari, not even looking at them; he was too busy studying the stamps he’d earned in the festivities.
“Kaveh. Look where you are,” said Cyno, opening his arms to gesture at the Genius Invokation Grand Prix set up around them. “You have followed us—”
“Accompanied you—”
“—All the way to Mondstadt—”
“—to a place I cannot be bothered by clients who don’t know what they want—”
“—To the summoners summit—”
“—to a location where I can study new architecture! Have you seen the buttresses on the cathedral—”
“—And you will not follow through on your destiny?”
Destiny, he said! Destiny, he said about card games.
Kaveh tried very hard not to scream. He clutched at Mehrak’s handle, gave the most patient of sighs, and said, “Cyno, I appreciate that you want me to have fun, but I’m not part of the Genius Invokation crowd.”
Cyno was quiet for a moment, then pulled out his Casket of Tomes and started shuffling through his cards. “If you don’t find enjoyment in it, that means you haven’t found the right cards. I’ll build you the perfect deck for your playstyle.”
“I don’t have a playstyle!”
“You will. Hold on.”
Tighnari rolled his eyes and said, “The Steambird had a quiz section: What playstyle are you in Genius Invokation TCG based on your personality? He’s done it for everyone he knows. You’re not escaping this. I know. I already tried.”
“Actually!” Kaveh said loudly, “I see a lovely little mechanical portrait game over there, I’m going to do that so I’ll have plenty of fun, no need for any decks to be built!”
“You’re not escaping this!” Tighnari called after him, but Kaveh had turned and hurried off and had no intention of slowing down.
Of course, Kaveh realized this was a mistake very quickly. Yes, there were mechanical portraits to serve as his salvation, but they happened to be parked right next to one of the main entrances, and therefore next to the massive promotional poster. The illustration featured two faceless Akademiya students drawing cards, dramatic in composition and striking in style. Kaveh stayed tense as he crept over to the puzzles, hoping desperately that no one would see the resemblance between himself and one of the figures on the poster.
Because that was him, in his own artwork.
To understand this tragedy, one had to go back many years to the time Kaveh was first getting into his studies.
He had of course known from the very beginning that he was meant to be in Kshahrewar and was taking appropriate classes for architecture, but there was a brief span of time in the Akedemiya’s history where they were required to take classes outside the standard darshans. The sages were very much not happy about this, but it was deemed necessary: a prominent Akademiya scholar had gone to Liyue outside of the Akasha’s reach and had bungled an important meeting with the Liyue Qixing. Exactly what he’d made a mistake on no one really knew, but it had been something stupidly easy—common sense that a Liyuan toddler would know—and it ruined the Akademiya’s standing in the Qixing’s eyes. Even when a replacement was sent from the Akademiya, the Qixing were wary and started quizzing them on a variety of subjects to determine they were suitable for the job, and without the Akasha working as a crutch, all the replacements failed miserably. Rex Lapis himself had sent a letter to the Akademiya with some polite metaphors that boiled down to: We do not like one-trick ponies. Don’t send us any more. We’ll eat them alive. Thoroughly embarrassed, the Grand Sage of the time had ordered remedial courses to expand the students’ horizons and better prepare them for the tumult of the real world. Not that many of them intended to go into the real world; the Akademiya was a full lifestyle in Sumeru. But those that did, Kaveh included, appreciated the Geo Archon’s (brief) intervention. Kaveh had terrible luck to begin with, so if he hadn’t had some additional skills to support architectural work he would surely be much worse off.
In any case, his remedial course had been centered around the functioning of business. Kaveh felt that there was overlap enough for that to support what he actually wanted to do, and there was also the perk of Alhaitham having enrolled in the class for his own undisclosed reasons. It had been early on in their friendship, back when Alhaitham had been his short, cute, fussy underclassman. Kaveh could still remember vividly how he’d slid into the seat next to Alhaitham’s and said, “You’re here! My one bright spot in this horrible timeslot.”
Alhaitham’s expression had stayed deadpan, but his cheeks had gone a little pink in that way they always used to do.
The professor had assigned them the group project of engineering and running a business: they would come up with a false commodity to sell, and based on that do research on production, markets, distribution, etc. Kaveh and Alhaitham had paired up but were stumped on what to use as their business until they stumbled across the idea of a game.
By all means they could’ve half-assed it—their classmates presented poorly crafted mockups, and it was meant to be about the understanding of promotion instead of the product—but Kaveh always went all in on his work, and Alhaitham was intrigued enough to be invested too.
Character cards. The first ones they made revolved around Sumeru’s deities: the Dendro Archon, King Deshret, the God of Flowers, and more.
Equipment cards. Ancient treasures and weapons.
Support and event cards. Mostly these featured Jinni or Aranara, landmarks, and foods.
Dice. An extra element of luck and planning, and a novelty to separate their would-be game from the existing masses.
Alhaitham had gotten downright passionate about outlining the rules and the flow of the game, ensuring multiple different styles of play to the point Kaveh had whined on more than one occasion that you’re trying to make our players use their brains too much! How can they have fun if it’s so convoluted? To which Alhaitham replied, How could they have fun if it wasn’t challenging? Why bother if it’s a bore? They bickered a little about it, but it was all good-natured. Alhaitham sometimes got distracted from his reading by ideas about the game (truly the highest of compliments), and Kaveh used his painting of the cards, fashioning of the dice, and mockup of the rulebook as an outlet for his frustration from other classes. The end product had been created by a couple of teenagers, but Kaveh was ridiculously proud of it.
As part of the practical section of the course they determined an area in their desired market and pitched the idea of their project to real merchants.
As expected, they got favorable responses.
At the time, Kaveh had assumed any interest in their project was manufactured; that their professor had reviewed their proposals and reached out to local merchants in advance to convince them to play along for the learning experience. This proved not to be the case.
The backer for Genius Invokation TCG was called Fayez. He was a merchant who travelled back and forth between Sumeru City and Port Ormos, peddling imported games and toys to mediocre success. His goal was to open a storefront, but he didn’t have the money to do it with. He had too many competitors and his products didn’t gain much attention. He needed an exclusive item. A windfall. While other merchants dragged their feet in responding to queries, when he got a letter from Kaveh and Alhaitham he jumped on the opportunity. He sent them back a contract that heavily favored them in dividing the revenue (he’d really wanted exclusivity), and after Alhaitham had hemmed, hawed, and checked the contract with one of the older Haravatat scholars, they sealed the deal. It had seemed so simple to the students! Just an experiment that wouldn’t go anywhere! It was only after they’d graduated that Fayez laughed about how he’d sunk all of his savings into the project. How horrifying!
Progress had first been slow. Fayez had feedback on the game, Alhaitham had rebuttals, and Kaveh had so much paint. By the time the remedial class ended they had a full trial version of the game with a plethora of cards and accessories, and Fayez was out trying to convince established shops to put it on their shelves. The professor had glanced over their reports and given them top scores, but it was a product for leisure and entertainment, which was worse than folly as far as the Akademiya was concerned. Within the confines of the school it was quickly forgotten.
Azar was pronounced the new Grand Sage and he abolished the remedial courses.
Kaveh and Alhaitham moved on to new classes.
Life went on.
Fayez checked in with them every once in a while, asking for more varieties of cards or tweaks to the rules. He’d invested in a machine to print copies of the cards and dice so Kaveh didn’t have to slave over every one, but he was still flattered that their odd contact still found interest in a project that had already run its course, and complied with all the requests. When they received their first payment, he’d been thrilled.
“We’re rich!” Kaveh had laughed, holding up a mora so it caught the sunshine filtering through the windows of their study room. “Come with me to the tavern tonight! I’ll buy you dinner.”
“Why should you? I was paid the same amount,” said Alhaitham, counting his own share coin by coin on the table.
Kaveh huffed, indignant. “Because I’m your senior! No, don’t argue! Shut up and let me treat you! This is a celebration!”
For two years it stayed like that, a slow but steady return on something they’d otherwise put out of their minds.
And then, all of a sudden, it exploded.
TCG mania swept over Sumeru. Fayez had tapped some previously ignored market, and between excited word of mouth and the resulting recognition by the Akasha terminal, everyone knew about the game. It was on the shelf of almost every shop, the talk of every café, and Kaveh even stumbled across fellow Akademiya students playing it in the House of Daena. Some people were avid ‘duelists.’ Others were looking to make casual friends. Many didn’t play at all but started collecting the cards simply for the artwork. Still more people were buying up cards to resell, creating a strange prospective marketplace that drove some rarer cards up to millions of mora in supposed worth. Royalties came rolling in at an astounding rate, and Fayez got his storefront for Acara Crafts in Port Ormos.
For anyone else this would be the greatest achievement in their lives.
For Kaveh it was a nightmare.
“What nonsense,” grumbled his Kshahrewar advisor, scowling at the table where fellow students were comparing decks. “I have half a mind to petition the Grand Sage to ban it.”
“Useless drivel,” another professor agreed.
Kaveh had stood beside them, clutching his latest blueprints and mouth firmly sealed as they bemoaned that only a simpleton could’ve come up with the game, how it was so clear they would never do anything in life and ought to be snubbed if they ever tried to sully any other business in Sumeru.
Art, they sneered, like it was an insult.
Of course, to them it was. Architecture was acceptable because it was beauty in utility, but beauty for beauty’s sake, for mere enjoyment…
Kaveh was afraid. The more popular Genius Invokation TCG became the more his seniors hated it, and seemingly so did any contact he’d ever have to rely on for work after graduation. Clients would surely judge him by his “silly little pictures” instead of the palaces he was proposing. He wanted so badly to be an architect. If he was linked to the game it would destroy his dreams.
Kaveh begged Fayez not to link his name to anything. He refused royalty payments because what if someone traced it back to him? Whenever he spotted a Casket of Tomes he’d turn and flee in the opposite direction.
“What is wrong with you?” Alhaitham had demanded. “This is our project. You did half the work. You get half the earnings.”
Near tears with stress, Kaveh had yelled, “I don’t want it!”
They’d bickered in the past, but this was the first of the bitter arguments they’d later be known for. It left a rift between them that never healed.
Alhaitham stopped interrogating him over the game, at least. He stubbornly refused to take full credit for it, though. He told Fayez that he’d be the same as Kaveh: no name, no appearance, nothing personal listed about him as a creator because he would not take sole credit for something jointly due. He took Kaveh’s share of the royalties, would glare and fold his arms and say “Fayez came to visit,” each time, and every time Kaveh would reply “that’s nice” before changing the subject.
It was this disagreement over ownership, fear for his future career, stress from classes, his mother leaving him behind for Fontaine, and a hundred other little horrors boiling into self-hatred that led to their biggest argument. Technically it had been about the new thesis they were working on, but it had brought up so many memories of their cooperation before, and they both blew up over insignificant things. They said things they shouldn’t have to each other. They were cruel. Kaveh had screamed and cried and stormed out of their assigned house vowing never to talk to Alhaitham again.
And life, again, went on.
“I never thought the Light of Kshahrewar would have such trouble with such a rudimentary puzzle.”
Kaveh startled and dropped a gear. Tighnari scooped it up off the ground, studied the puzzle for a second, then inserted it. The puzzle clicked, all the gears started turning, and the whole panel pivoted to show an image of Mondstadt’s cathedral.
“I think I recognize that artwork,” said Kaveh, intrigued. “It’s… Calx?”
“We’d have to ask.” Tighnari turned his head and called, “Cyno, is this some of Calx’s work?”
Cyno was beside them in an instant. “It is. Calx has a distinctive style. His work is superior to all the other contributing artists on Genius Invokation TCG cards, save for the original illustrator: Paradisea.”
Kaveh grimaced. While he still did art once in a while for Genius Invokation, he’d backed off as much as he could and given Fayez full authority to recruit other artists. This variety had unfortunately only made people more interested in the game. When Kaveh mostly worked on blueprints and geometric accent work it was really no wonder his friends couldn’t recognize his paintings. A blessing, really.
“Calx is quite the name. I’m sure he’ll overtake the original artist’s popularity in no time,” said Kaveh.
“No. Calx is talented, but Paradisea has a stylistic charm Calx can’t match,” said Cyno. “I came here for Windblume recently to commission Calx to do a custom card back for my deck. Someday I will find Paradisea too, and ask to commission them as well. Then I can die happy.”
“I don’t think Paradisea would enjoy you dying, happy or not,” said Kaveh.
“Regardless, it is one of my dreams,” said Cyno.
From off in the near distance came the sound of a horn, which heralded the MC’s announcement: “Hello everyone, your attention please! The final is about to begin! Now, let’s give a warm welcome to our two contestants…”
Kaveh knew the ears on Cyno’s helm were fake, but Archons above, it sure looked like they pivoted to hear better.
“It’s starting. We should go over there now to get a good view,” said Cyno.
“I propose we utilize those crates they've got stacked up on the far side. It’s some distance, but it would give us a much clearer perspective of the game,” said Tighnari.
“Perfect,” said Cyno, and they hurried off.
It turned out that the stacked crates gave a very good view. Kaveh only went halfway up but he was clearly able to see the finalists sit down, hear them introduce themselves, and all the cards they began to lay out. He was wary at first because the two happened to be a Knight of Favonius versus the small child who’d yelled at them for disturbing pigeons on their way into town yesterday. How was this supposed to be a fair match? But while this Captain Kaeya remained cool and clever, his game wasn’t overwhelming.
“I think he’s having a little too much bad luck,” Kaveh muttered, as Kaeya lost a character and immediately played a card to take advantage.
“It’s true, he’s not taking initiative,” said Tighnari.
“It’s a ploy,” said Cyno, hand to his chin and watching every move like a hawk. “Kaeya is clearly an expert player. He doesn’t want to win. It’s possible that he uses cards to lure in targets or contacts, so can’t afford to be seen as too good at what he does. But seeing him purposely lose while tricking his opponent and the audience so well into thinking the opposite is fascinating.”
Well, if someone was trying to sink their card game credibility, losing to the pigeon boy was probably a good way to do it.
Kaveh quickly grew bored and let his gaze rove over the rest of the area. Most of the Grand Prix attendees were crowded to watch the table, but there was still a large number perusing the stalls, playing games, talking over strategies…
Near the far end of the festival came a brief flash of gold.
The color hooked Kaveh immediately. He raised his head, heart in his throat. Could that be… No. No, he hadn’t seen that particular shine in years. It couldn’t be, but…
“I’ll be right back,” he said, and slid down the crates without waiting for the others to respond.
He hurried his way around the crowds, past the games, to a booth near the other entrance. The owner perked up at the sight of him; the offerings she had set out looked rather shabby compared to the newer, brighter stalls around them, so she likely hadn’t had much interest.
“Welcome, welcome! I’ve got lots of second-hand cards here! They may not be rare, but they’ll suit you well in completing your deck!”
Kaveh scanned the selections with a frown. “I thought I saw a gold one here earlier…”
“Oh, you’re thinking of the card back!” The owner picked out a sweet madame food card—truly one of the most basic and common cards of the game—and flipped it to reveal a shining golden card back. “It’s a cosmetic added to the cards. They’re little sleeves that you can fit onto your cards to protect them, and you can swap out the designs later while keeping the same cards. This one’s unfortunately gotten stuck, though. I’ve tried just about everything and I can’t get the sweet madame out of it, so you’d be buying them both and wouldn’t be able to switch them…”
“I’ll take them,” said Kaveh.
“You will?” said the owner, baffled.
She had a right to be confused. Kaveh didn’t give a damn what this would be useful for in a duel, he was only worried about that stylized back: rendered in black, brown, and overwhelming gold, its main focus was a treasure chest. With that back it had to be from the first experimental runs of the game, a first-pitch customizer before they’d settled for something less garish (something more simple to balance the clutter of the other side, I don’t know what I was thinking making this all so busy, a young Kaveh had once rambled), and if that were true it would be exceedingly embarrassing to have it fall into anyone’s hands.
“I will,” said Kaveh. “How much is it?”
It was dirt cheap, thankfully. He wouldn’t have been able to afford it otherwise.
Kaveh took the card and hurried away from the tournament. Just around the corner, and then down one of the ridiculous number of stairs… Good. Tighnari and Cyno couldn’t possibly spot him here. He lifted the card to inspect the back, except—
“Hey there, I want to buy that card back off you.”
Kaveh slapped the card against his chest and nearly jumped a foot off the ground. There was a suspicious-looking man next to him, looking far too interested in this card. Those clothes… was this a Treasure Hoarder?
“Sorry,” Kaveh fake-laughed, “not for sale! I think it’s very pretty, you know? My style. So. No.”
“I can make it worth your while,” said the Treasure Hoarder, and despite the fact that he pulled out a hefty mora pouch he sounded like he was making a threat. “Name your price, any price—”
“No need, it’s a super common card that’s got stuck in here and I don’t want to sell anyway.”
“I said any price—”
“You’d really do better going up to the tournament stalls, they have much nicer card backs—”
“I don’t think you hear what I’m saying—”
Kaveh looked at a point over the man’s shoulder and said loudly, “Oh, Cavalry Captain Kaeya! What a surprise to see you here! I thought you were supposed to be playing in the finals right now!”
The Treasure Hoarder went white and whirled around.
Captain Kaeya was of course not there, but Kaveh had pulled the “Oh look it’s the General Mahamatra” move enough to have the timing down perfectly. He hightailed it before the Treasure Hoarder could even notice him moving.
This time he went well away from all the activity, out the side gate and back along the city’s outside wall. When he was sure no one was around, he unclipped his vision and held it up to the card back with shaky hands. The Dendro glow made the gold of its surface shine, but through the design appeared words in the bright, cutting blue of the desert’s mirage puzzles. Coincidentally, the letters revealed belonged to King Deshret’s civilization too:
Heart speaks to heart.
Kaveh didn’t know what he felt at that moment. Relief? Nostalgia? Massive embarrassment? Grief? All of them at once, really.
When they’d been paired together in the Akademiya, Kaveh and Alhaitham had learned a certain script in the language of King Deshret’s civilization. They’d done a whole project on it, and even afterward used that script like a code. It made Kaveh feel clever, secretive, special, enough that he’d asked Alhaitham about still more languages.
Anyone with sense would tell you never to ask a Haravatat scholar to teach you about language. Once the floodgates were opened they would never shut up about it. Alhaitham lived up to that prediction with his usual bluntness, and like an idiot Kaveh had been enthralled. Not by the grammar, of course (what in hell was “ablative” case?), but in the nuance. Things lost in translation because they meant something so specific in one language that another tongue lacked the means to communicate the meaning of that one word with a thousand of their own. Alhaitham had guided him through translations, pointing out the failures in some, and in others the unique way that a writer could use phrases not accurate in meaning but using the expectations of the new audience to relay the intent of the original.
One of the things they studied was a love poem. A mistranslation of a mistranslation, it had brought up the line heart speaks to heart. In the original poem it was something deeply personal: the thought of knowing one as you knew yourself, loving them as you loved yourself, a deep connection beyond normal understanding.
The line had resonated with Kaveh. He’d peeked up at his cute underclassman’s face, watched the way his brow knit in concentration and heard the resolve (subdued excitement) in his voice, and had the hopeful thought, Are we like that?
He thought it again when they were crammed into the same chair in a crowded House of Daena during exam season.
Again in the tavern as he stole samosas from a plate Alhaitham was really capable of defending much better.
Again in Razan Garden where the leaves of the divine tree swayed and dappled sunshine across Alhaitham’s silvery hair like he was some magnum opus himself.
We are like that, Kaveh eventually decided. They were complete opposites and therefore covered each other’s shortcomings, many times unthinkingly; the deep connection was there, and at least on Kaveh’s end it was heartfelt. By some cosmic mercy he didn’t say any of this to Alhaitham. He was a romantic, you see. Where others may have done grand confessions and Mondstadt lovebirds would carve their initials in trees, Kaveh chose to place a secret message on the customizable backs of their TCG project: the quote they had discussed, written in their script, in a place only Alhaitham would investigate further, involved with the game clearly demonstrating their bond, their success, their hard work. If Alhaitham saw the writing he’d know instantly the depth of its meaning. He hadn’t, of course. Nothing had tipped Alhaitham off to know that he should study those card backs more closely, but Kaveh had been fine with that; simply because his first attempt at confession had been missed didn’t mean he was rejected, and he had more confidence to look at other subtle (convoluted) methods.
The technique for mirage writing couldn’t have been duplicated by Fayez’s printers, especially if he didn’t know what to look for. That meant what Kaveh held right now was a true original, hand crafted in those days when he’d been brimming with excitement and a stupid crush that would later crash and burn spectacularly.
“Oh,” he said, and didn’t know what to do with himself.
His grip on Mehrak grew lax; she activated before slipping entirely out of his fingers and rose to eye level with a questioning beep.
“Nothing, Mehrak,” said Kaveh. “It’s— It’s nothing.”
And really, it was. It was an artifact of youth! Every adult had their share of embarrassing teenaged shenanigans, at least his had the advantage of being well hidden! He tucked the card away on his person and rubbed at his eye—there was no semblance of tears, that would be ridiculous—and cleared his throat to say, “All this fuss over cards. It’s madness, my darling.” Mehrak beeped again and he nodded. “Exactly! I knew you’d understand.”
Mehrak spun in place, not understanding but clearly in a better mood now that he was talking again.
Kaveh turned as well, intending on heading back to the gate and rejoining his companions. “I think we can keep this between us, can’t we? There’s really no point in worrying any of the others, not that there’s anything to worry about in the first place, but—”
Unfortunately there was something to worry about. Kaveh found himself facing a group of ten Treasure Hoarders, and none of them looked particularly friendly.
“And just what is this about?” he asked, crossing his arms in annoyance. “Don’t you all have something better to do than get yourselves caught for lurking too close to the city walls?”
“Give us the card!” said the leader.
“The— Are you serious? You’re trying to mug me for a sweet madame card? You could buy it at any store for a single mora! Archons, they might even give it to you for free!” said Kaveh.
“I said give it, or we’ll break your legs!” said the leader.
Really? Kaveh scowled and snapped his fingers. Mehrak’s display switched to a frowny face and she manifested his claymore, ready for battle. “Believe me, if you try using force, I’m not the one who’ll be needing a cast afterward.”
“Get him!” cried the leader, like an idiot.
Kaveh had never been renowned as a fighter, but he was not a fool; when he roamed Sumeru for work he knew very well that he and his supplies would inevitably come under attack, and so he was perfectly capable of self-defense. He was no Spantamad keen on battle mechanics and certainly no Tanit Falcon (he still didn’t quite know what those Eremites had been on about), but he could hold his own in a fight. When his claymore swung it was a harsh blow but done with the flat instead of the sharpened edge, and when he used Mehrak’s Dendro-infused mapping technique it tossed opponents off their feet. It was like slapping around a group of rag dolls and they’d been trying to injure him first but still, he felt kind of bad about it.
“Are we done yet?” he called, with another burst and another launching of the leader. In the next breath he sidestepped the explosion of a potioneer’s Electro bottle without so much as glancing at it. “I can do this all day but I worry about your own structural integrity.”
The Hoarders were all dirty and frazzled by now. The leader struggled to his feet and cried, “We’ll never give up—”
“Oh shit,” said his fellow, dropping his shovel. “Forget this guy, we’re in trouble! Run for it!”
The leader was incensed. “How dare you even think of—”
“Razorglass Blade!”
Sharpened elemental leaves thudded into them, and the Hoarders realized very quickly that this was a fight they had no chance of winning.
“We’ll remember this!” the leader howled, scrambling away after the rest of his fleeing group. “Mark my words—”
“Tough talk for a scaredy cat!” cried… was that Paimon? And the Traveler with her sword out? “Yeah, I see you running! Don’t come back!”
Behind Lumine was one other person, a young woman dressed in red with a monocle and a wide, victorious grin. “Aha! There he is! We’ve caught you at last, Card Snatcher!”
Kaveh looked behind him, but the only other entity in this strange woman’s sight was Mehrak. He turned back around, pointing to himself incredulously.
“That’s right, you!” said the woman.
“What? No, no, no!” cried Paimon. “Kaveh’s no thief!”
“He really isn’t,” said Lumine, putting away her sword. “If Kaveh tried to rob someone he’d end up listening to their life story and giving them the shirt off his back instead of getting anything from them. He’d be terrible at it.”
“Excuse you?” said Kaveh.
“Oh, you know this person, then?” said the woman.
“Yeah, he’s Kaveh,” said Lumine.
“The Light of Kshahrewar! He’s a super amazing architect from Sumeru!” Paimon crowed. “He built the Palace of Alcazarzaray, and the Port Ormos bridge, and the Port Ormos lighthouse—"
“Thank you!” said Kaveh. “I’m glad at least someone here recognizes my art. Though I do need to point out that the lighthouse was simply a repair, not my own construction.”
“The Palace of Alcazarzaray?” The woman tilted her head, fascinated. “Isn’t that some super rich and beautiful place in the jungle with a super popular architect and an elusive owner that no one can find to interview? One of our trainee reporters, Gaston, has been trying to get the scoop on that for ages.”
“This is Charlotte. As you can probably tell, she’s a reporter from the Steambird,” said Lumine.
“Ah! Well, a word of advice, mademoiselle, but you should avoid the owner of the Palace of Alcazarzaray at all costs,” said Kaveh. “Dori doesn’t seem like a bad person at heart, but she can be merciless! One minute you’re discussing paint colors, and the next, she’ll have swindled you into hiring more hands while slashing the budget which means your pay plummets to keep the whole construction site from mutinying, but you can’t resign yourself because no other clients have an ounce of artistic appreciation, and— Ugh. She is coercive, and she will find some way to take advantage of you.”
“Usually it’s for mora,” said Lumine, nodding along.
“Yeah, she’ll probably ask Gaston for a 500,000 mora exclusive interview fee,” Paimon grumbled.
“Huh,” said Charlotte, then shook her head wildly to clear it. “Well, that’s not the focus here! If you’re not the Card Snatcher, then where did he go?”
“I have no idea who or what you’re talking about,” said Kaveh.
“There’s a criminal operating in the Grand Prix grounds,” said Lumine. “Whoever this person is, he steals cards while his opponent’s back is turned. Charlotte here was assigned to report on everything happening at the Grand Prix, so she noticed what was going on and started working to track him down.”
“I almost had him once before, but when I chased him he disappeared into thin air!” said Charlotte.
“Why would someone steal cards, though?” said Kaveh.
“That’s what I’m going to find out!” said Charlotte. “It’s my job as a journalist to dig up all the gory details and turn them into my very own exclusive news piece! These Treasure Hoarders who were targeting you, they were after a card of yours, weren’t they?”
“Yes. A sweet madame card,” Kaveh said flatly.
“What about the card back, was it standard? Anything customized on it?” said Charlotte.
“Well…” Kaveh shuffled guiltily. “I suppose it was in a special sleeve. One with a treasure chest on it. Really, it’s not worth much. I picked it up secondhand, and even I could afford— Ahem, it had already been valued and was found rather lacking. I simply thought the design was nice, so I picked it up. It wasn’t more than twenty minutes ago, too. They easily could’ve bought it here before me, but as soon as I turned around a Treasure Hoarder tried to bully me into selling it again.”
“A sleeve! A special card back!” Charlotte whispered, jotting this down in a little notepad. “That’s the common thread between the stolen decks! And the delay in finding it also matches up with what I heard him say before—”
“That’s all the Mondstadt ones, next stop Liyue?” Lumine apparently quoted.
“Exactly!” said Charlotte. “He’s looking up these card backs! The reason the Card Snatcher didn’t pick up this card at the store today is because he was too busy seizing the other copies!”
“Wait, hang on, other copies?” said Kaveh.
“That’s right! One of the theft victims told me all about their missing cards and customizations, and this treasure chest back is the common denominator in at least three of these recorded incidents!”
“You’re saying this Card Snatcher is after these specific card backs?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I said.”
Oh no.
Other treasure chest card backs, with his mirage writing on them? Kaveh had been fine with their existence floating out in the world before, but now? If someone was actively stealing and compiling them, and if the Steambird was on the case, the whole of Teyvat would be paying attention! People would clamor to know just what made these card backs special, they’d investigate every inch, they’d find the mirage, they’d look up a specialized linguist to translate, and Alhaitham would read it. They were near ten years past the initial confession point, but Alhaitham had a stupidly good memory and he’d know exactly what was going on! How could Kaveh possibly bear to live in the same house as the stupid Acting Grand Sage who would surely mock him for that ridiculousness and for taking a decade to make a disproved point? He’d have to move. He had nowhere else to go. That was fine though, death in dignity was better than being rejected all over again!
“Mademoiselle Charlotte,” he said, perfectly sweetly, he didn’t know why Lumine was making such a face, “Would it be at all possible for me to accompany you for the investigation? I don’t intend to give up this card, you see, and I’m just… terribly worried about being attacked again. My poor nerves wouldn’t be able to take it.”
“Your nerves?” Lumine grumbled. “You beat down all those Treasure Hoarders without even working up a sweat, and you’re worried about your nerves?”
“We artists are a delicate breed. Aren’t we, Mehrak?” said Kaveh, and Mehrak beeped her agreement. “You see? I can’t possibly rest well unless I know what’s going on and when your investigation is completed. Until then I suffer in suspense.”
“Wow, you’re hamming it up more than a cold cut platter,” said Paimon, impressed.
While Lumine looked skeptical, Charlotte was thrilled. “Yes, of course! My gut tells me there’s more to this story than the card back alone. This situation reeks of exclusive news! And maybe at some point on the road I can ask you some questions about the Palace of Alcazarzaray? I can’t let another scoop slip by when it falls so perfectly into my path!”
“I’d be more than happy to do so,” said Kaveh, because he did very much like talking about his magnum opus. “Before we move on, though, I do need to let you know that I had two traveling companions. I need to bring them up to speed so they don’t end up worrying about me.”
“Understandable! I need to spend a little more time here in Mondstadt myself, too. I can’t go abandoning my main job of reporting on the event,” said Charlotte.
“We need to check in with some friends at the Grand Prix grounds as well. We can all head up there together, and meet again at the main noticeboard. How does that sound?” said Lumine.
They all agreed and doubled back into the city. The final game had ended, so the crowd had spread out to all the other entertainments available. Charlotte beelined for the Master of Ceremonies, Lumine and Paimon vanished near the stamp checkpoint, and Kaveh started looking around for sets of distinctive pointed ears. He was rounding the windmill, thinking that maybe they’d strayed to the city wall for some fresh air, and stumbled upon someone else.
There was a little girl dressed in red crouched behind a cluster of barrels. The poor thing had her hands over her head as if that might help her hide, and looked on the verge of tears.
“Oh, hello,” Kaveh said gently, kneeling to meet her. “Are you alright? Are you lost?”
The girl shook her head and sniffled, “No.”
“Do you need any help?”
After some hesitation she asked, “Are there knights out there?”
Kaveh craned his neck to check. “There are. Do you want me to come with you to meet them? I hear that they’re very nice and helpful…”
“No,” she whined, ducking her head even further. “Mondstadt be bombed, Klee be doomed!”
…What?
“Is Klee your name?” Kaveh ventured; it was ringing a bell but he couldn’t quite remember any context. Luckily he was rewarded with a nod. “That’s a very pretty name! You know, I swear I’ve heard it before. Have you ever been to Sumeru?”
Klee peeked up at him through her fingers. “No… But Mom has. Mom writes the Teyvat Travel Guide, so she goes everywhere.”
“Oh! You’re Alice’s daughter!” said Kaveh, delighted.
He’d never met the elusive Alice, but she’d arranged for him to visit the Veluriyam Mirage to repair and redecorate the buildings inside it. She was apparently on a multi-year campaign to give her daughter the “best summer ever” in her absence, resulting in grand tours, parties, and ‘mysteries’ in outlandish locations like legendary vanishing islands. Kaveh had been charmed by the idea, by the excitable way Alice had scribbled about all the things her daughter loved, and of course by the considerable payment involved. All the mora had gone toward his debt, but regardless, it was nice to build something so obviously for another’s happiness.
“You’ve met Mom?” said Klee, brightening.
“Not in person, but I’ve exchanged letters with her,” said Kaveh. “I never thought I’d get the chance to meet the lovely Klee! Alice loves to talk about you at every opportunity.”
Klee uncurled herself and started to smile. “She does?”
“She does,” said Kaveh. “So, I’m all the happier to help you. Let me see, what’s going on right now…. You want to tell the knights about an attack but you’re afraid of getting in trouble for being somewhere you weren’t supposed to be, is that it?”
Klee averted her gaze again, shuffling guiltily. “Not an attack…”
“No?”
“No… It was only Jumpy Dumpty. We were getting presents for Kaeya, since he was going to win, but it went boom way bigger than Klee thought it would, so now I’m hiding where Jean can’t find me.”
“Oh!” said Kaveh. It was at this moment that he noticed the Pyro vision glowing on her little backpack. “And Jumpy Dumpty is…”
“My bombs.”
Her bombs. Kaveh should’ve known better than to think Alice’s daughter would be anything but eccentric.
Before he could come up with a diplomatic reply, someone close by said, “There you are.”
They both startled and looked up to find Acting Grandmaster Jean looming over them. Her dead-eyed look was only exacerbated by the mud splatter on her once-pristine clothing and the feathery-haired scout fretting behind her.
“No!” Klee gasped, springing to her feet. “Klee doesn’t want to go into solitary confinement! I need to watch Kaeya!”
“Solitary what now?” said Kaveh.
“It’s time-out,” the scout said with a wince. “Just. Um. Bomb-proof.”
“Klee,” said Jean, in a deadly even tone, “you blew up Starfell Lake.”
“I-I wanted to make barbeque fish…”
“You. Blew up. Starfell Lake. In the middle of an international festival.”
Klee made a miserable noise and wilted. “Klee’s sorry…”
Jean said nothing, only pointed northward. Klee bowed her head and left, dragging her feet. “Bye-bye, Mister Mom’s Friend.”
“Um, goodbye?” said Kaveh.
When Klee was out of sight Jean heaved a heavy sigh and tried to rub mud off her face. “I’m sorry you had to see that, sir. As the Spark Knight Klee’s very talented and means well, but she still has some trouble with restraint. I promise, she’ll be on her best behavior tomorrow. Please enjoy the rest of the festival.”
She and the scout moved off, and Kaveh resigned himself to the knowledge that Mondstadt was a ridiculous and unpredictable place. Praise Barbatos.
Eventually he found Tighnari and Cyno crouched to inspect the flowers on a nearby hedge.
“Oh, there you are. We wondered where you’d run off to,” said Tighnari.
“Question: how much do I need to worry if I hear the Knights of Favonius are putting a small child in solitary confinement?” said Kaveh.
Cyno pondered this a moment, then said, “It’s Klee being put in time-out, isn’t it?”
“How did you—"
“She blows things up on a regular basis,” said Cyno. “We heard about it when we visited for Windblume.”
“That child is an ecological nightmare,” said Tighnari. “If she so much as sets foot in Avidya Forest, I swear to you, all my fur will fall out from stress.”
“Wow. That bad?” said Kaveh.
“A nightmare,” said Tighnari. “Anyway, was that where you were? Trying to save small children from knights?”
“Only at the end there,” said Kaveh. “Mostly I was being attacked by Treasure Hoarders.”
He explained the Card Snatcher situation and his intentions of following Lumine and Charlotte on the investigation, conveniently leaving out any mention of mirage lettering or prior knowledge of what the card backs were. Still, both of his companions squinted at him in suspicion.
“I agree that this is a great misfortune, but this doesn’t sound like anything you’d be interested in pursuing further,” said Cyno.
“I don’t see how you’d need to worry for your safety. Not only are you capable, but you’re traveling with the head of the Forest Watchers and the General Mahamatra,” said Tighnari. “Not to mention you live with the Acting Grand Sage—”
“Shh, not so loud!” said Kaveh.
“Who here cares?” said Tighnari.
“I do! I care!” said Kaveh.
Tighnari rolled his eyes. “The point remains, I think the only way you could be safer is if you started hanging out in the Sanctuary of Surasthana with Lord Kusanali.”
“Wrong. That would bring him into contact with Hat Guy,” said Cyno.
“Ugh, Hat Guy,” said Kaveh.
“He isn’t that bad. He gave me his water in the desert during the Interdarshan Championship,” said Tighnari.
Cyno frowned, torn between thankfulness on that occasion and irritation with Hat Guy’s general existence. “He tolerates you. I suspect he wouldn’t tolerate Kaveh.”
“Okay, then you’re the safest you can be already, Kaveh,” said Tighnari. “Why bother with this Card Snatcher?”
“It’s complicated,” said Kaveh.
“And?” said Tighnari.
“And it’s complicated!” said Kaveh. “I told you I came along because I needed to get out of Sumeru and gather inspiration, right? Well, this is me continuing to do that. It’s not that out of character!”
Tighnari and Cyno exchanged another wary look.
“There are regional championships happening in other nations. I would enjoy watching the Liyue finals,” said Cyno.
“I suppose if we happen to be going the same way…” Tighnari mused.
“What? No, you really don’t have to come along,” said Kaveh.
“Are you going to tell us why you’re interested in the Card Snatcher?” said Tighnari.
“I just told you it’s complicated—”
“Then we’re coming along, no arguments, because we are decent friends who will not let you die in a ditch for no reason,” said Tighnari. “Where are your new traveling buddies? We should let them know the group’s gotten bigger.”
He and Cyno refused to budge on the issue, so Kaveh gave up and led them back toward the puzzles. Charlotte, Lumine, and Paimon had already regrouped in front of the massive promotional poster.
“Look, there’s Kaveh!” said Paimon, waving. “And Tighnari and Cyno? What are you two doing here?”
“As a devoted fan of Genius Invokation TCG, I came to witness the duelists’ summit in other nations,” said Cyno.
“Also he had way too much vacation time saved up, and Kaveh and I needed excuses for a vacation too,” said Tighnari. “We’ll be going with you all to locate this so-called Card Snatcher.”
“So long as you keep in mind that this story is my exclusive scoop, I think we’ll all get along,” said Charlotte.
“Cyno, I thought you’d be competing, not just watching,” said Lumine. “Aren’t you really into this game?”
“I am, and I will,” said Cyno. “The tournament is divided by region, and each region’s championship matches are staggered to allow for tourist movement and therefore achieve larger audiences and business opportunities. I should have no trouble returning to Sumeru for my own matches if we find this criminal in Liyue quickly, and I do intend for it to be quick.”
“Are you an investigator of some kind?” said Charlotte.
“He’s the General Mahamatra,” said Lumine.
“You are?” Charlotte gasped. “Wow, you, uh— You’re different than I expected!”
This was no surprise. Everyone always expected Cyno to be taller.
“Yes, I am aware that I am more handsome than rumors suggest,” Cyno said flatly. “If you are truly confident in your journalistic instincts, then between us and our other capable associates here we should make short work of this case.”
“Oh! Well, thank you for contributing to quality journalism! I look forward to working with you all!” said Charlotte, clapping her hands.
“That Card Snatcher won’t know what hit him!” Paimon laughed. “Before we go, though, Paimon had a question! Cyno, if you’re really familiar with all the Genius Invokation stuff, who are the two people on this poster?”
Oh, no. Oh, Archons, Kaveh had thought he’d escaped all references to this damnable poster!
“These two are meant to be the inventors of Genius Invokation TCG, drawn by none other than the artist Paradisea,” said Cyno. “This image was used on the first edition of the Genius Invokation rulebook, and remains the only representation of the inventors made public since the game’s creation.”
“They’re the inventors?” said Paimon. “But… They look so young!”
Charlotte laughed. “Maybe, but little is known about either of them. Whether they’ve been living under a rock this whole time or just aren’t interested in fame, no one knows. The poster’s probably just an artist’s impression to capture the general look and feel of the duo. I doubt it’s very true to life.”
Paimon huffed and crossed her arms. “Yeesh! Sounds like a couple of socially reclusive scholars. If Paimon were in their shoes, she’d be showing up to all the events, signing autographs, selling cards… Ooh, ooh, and getting complimentary food and drinks!”
Kaveh, inventor of the game, did not appreciate this perspective. He might’ve liked free food when his pockets were empty, but that was all far more liable to cause a mess than solve anything.
Unfortunately Charlotte seemed interested in the subject; she closed her eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. “I was reading up on the game’s inventors before I came to Mondstadt. I was hoping to arrange an interview with them to get their feelings about the popularity of the Grand Prix, but they’re notoriously difficult to find. There’s no mention anywhere of where they live or any Genius Invokation events they may have attended. It’s like they designed the game and decided never to play again.”
“Maybe they don’t want to play the game,” Cyno pondered, hand to his chin, “or maybe they’re unable to…”
“They must have their reasons, either way,” said Tighnari.
“I wonder if they’ll show up at all during the tournament. I think there’s a good chance since we have the Honorary Knight of Mondstadt with us! The perfect lucky charm,” Charlotte laughed.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right!” said Paimon.
“I wouldn’t count on it,” Kaveh said brightly.