Chapter Text
Nothing's changed in Mementos, for better or for worse. The trip down is full of Skull’s complaining, most of which consists of him grumbling about how he was hoping there might be a wave of disease to take advantage of and make their trip easier, but Panther cuts him off by saying they should be lucky it's not raining or worse.
"...The hell would that have to do with anything? She's a goddess, not a house cat. I think Bassy could handle a little rain." Skull argues, gesturing at nothing with his hands.
"Okay, but maybe she hates rain because she's still a cat. Then we wouldn't be able to find her at all!" Panther shoots back, lifting up her mask to properly give him a dirty look. "Be grateful for what we have! Joker doesn't need any more stressors."
"Okay but, you're actin' like it even rains down here in mementos. Which by the way, dunno if y'noticed, it doesn't." Skull says haughtily, sticking his tongue out at Panther. "So we toootally coulda got a sluggish Bastet and had an easy time convincin' her to change Joker back!"
From the passenger seat, Fox keeps his eyes trained on the way Joker's hands clench the steering wheel, making sure to note every crease in the leather upon his sketch page. He's still tuned in to the idiocy behind him though.
"Is this argument not completely pointless? We're unable to change the weather in Mementos. What we have is what we have."
"Yeah, but i'm just sayin'–”
Oracle pops up from the seat behind Skull and pushes his head down as she aggressively ruffles his hair.
"Well say LESS!" She growls as Skull yelps and attempts to wiggle away from her hands.
Fox can hear Panther complaining Skull is in her space, while Noir and Queen attempt to split the fight up. Their antics bring a comforting warmth that splits the haunting atmosphere in Mementos, something that Joker seems to also relish in, if the curve of his lips are anything to go by. Hmm, perhaps he'll sketch that next.
After about an hour or so they finally reach the path of Akzeriyyuth. Everyone has quieted down, silent in the hunt for their new target. They strike down many Anzu and even a treasure demon or two, but Bastet is nowhere to be seen. Joker coolly instructs them to take a break at the upcoming rest stop, but with the way his ears press flat against his head, it's quite obvious he's displeased and distressed by the lack of results so far.
Noir bumps her shoulder against his as he munches on a katsu bun, curling her fingers over the lip of the waiting room seat.
"I'm sure it'll be fine, Joker. The day is still young, after all! Bastet will come to play, one way or another." She tries softly, in an attempt to console him.
It works, almost. Joker looks over at her and his ears perk up slightly, but he quickly takes his gaze back to the floor and looks even more irritated than before.
"She better. This is putting a huge dent in my schedule for our palace prep." Joker huffs, "Sure, we have no target yet, but I..."
Noir wraps a hand around his forearm, a serious look on her face. "But the next one will be big, won't it? I feel that too..." She gives it a soft pat and then lets go, reaching over to grab the coffee thermos from Oracle. "Just don't forget that we can help too, you know. We want to help. If we can't find Bastet today... then it'll all work out. I promise."
Joker says nothing, taking the lid of the thermos that Noir had kindly poured for him and downing a large gulp of coffee. He feels some of the tension in his shoulders ease, both from her words and the comforting flavour of home, but it’s not enough to fully soothe his woes.
“...It’ll work out. Even if I get stuck like this forever, I could just send one of you guys shopping for me, right?” Joker laughs humorlessly and slumps back in his seat. “I’m sure that would work out great.
“Joker… come on now. We can’t lose motivation this easily! We haven’t even reached the lowest levels yet.” Noir turns away from her friend, looking expectantly at Oracle. “We found Bastet in the deepest areas of Akzeriyyuth, didn’t we?"
Oracle freezes, glances down at her laptop, then straightens out with a salute. "Aye, aye! Bastet was almost at the deepest part, according to my notes. She's... probably still there too. Since um, it wouldn't... make sense for her to move."
"Huh, really?" Skull cocks his head. "Don't the shadows just move around wherever the hell they want?"
"W-W-Well you see, uh, she– obviously she's a rare and powerful shadow you can only find in the depths! Duh!" Oracle answers with bite, before turning back down to her laptop and clattering away.
Even Joker is caught off guard by her strangeness, as he sits up and looks as if he’s going to interrogate her on it, but Queen gently pushes him back with a hand on his shoulder and a shake of her head. Joker's tail lashes in worry, but he doesn't comment any further, knowing that whatever is stressing Oracle out like this is most likely him.
The thieves return to their comfortable loop of fighting low tier shadows and fleeing from Anubis, when during a chase Joker hits a corner too tightly and runs around it blind, straight into an unsuspecting shadow. When the smoke clears, the thieves stand in formation, but so does Bastet.
"YOU," She sneers, pointing a clawed hand at Joker. "Vile little thing. Has your greed not been satiated? Do you still return for more punishment, o' masochistic whelp!?"
Jokers ears twitch and he can feel his face heating up at the embarrassment of getting called such a thing, especially as he hears the murmurs of his teammates at his side. Thankfully his mask stands in the way of showing any weakness to them and he clears his throat to divert the conversation back to him. Joker's voice rings out more confident than he feels, deep and demanding as he attempts to strike a deal with Bastet.
"Great Goddess, I have come to return your treasures in exchange for the lifting of my curse," Joker drops into a kneel and bows, "Forgive my callous nature and let me make amends."
"Forgive? Forgive? You DARE ask me for forgiveness? Aha! AHAHAA!" Bastet cackles, covering her mouth with a hand as she looks down on the thieves with disdain. "You must be joking. Asking ME to forgive, after you denied my mask and made a mockery of my generosity? PLEASE!"
Bastet snarls and immediately casts Agilao. It misses the thieves, but Joker can't hold back a growl of his own as he bares his teeth in annoyance. Damn it, he was really hoping he could talk this out.
From their previous battle, Queen figured Bastet was a shadow with no weaknesses, so their best bet was to just inflict status ailments and go from there. Joker, Panther, Queen and Fox each ready their personas, hoping at least one of them will be able to inflict something– be it mental or physical.
Fox is unable to freeze with Goemon, Anat fails to make Bastet dizzy, Even Hecate can't put the goddess to slumber. Doubt worms it's way into Joker's heart at the realisation Bastet might be immune to all ailments, which shouldn't be possible given that she's just a normal shadow, but then again there's been nothing normal about this whole situation at all.
He quickly tucks and rolls out of the way of another blast of fire and takes the chance to heal Fox, who is grateful as always. Panther and Queen have given up on their ailments, opting to just try and brute force the encounter with Panther helping Queen concentrate on her Freila attacks. Joker closes his eyes and wracks his brain on how to prevent this encounter from ending up like last time, but the only option he can think of in his brain is fleeing. Fox leaves his side to return to the fight, cutting a deep wound into Bastet's back as Panther distracts her with her whip. It's a great deal of damage, but even so, the cat refuses to bow down to her attackers.
Joker glances over to where the back up team is, wondering if they could do anything, but figures that throwing themselves at this shadow will only cause more unnecessary pain.
"Oracle. Look for an opening to escape." He commands, as he prepares his knife to prolong their current distraction.
"H-huh? But Joker, your curse!"
"What about it? Getting someone else cursed won't fix anything. We need to retreat."
He doesn't bother to listen for a response, instead jumping in to deflect a swipe of Bastet's staff away from Panther. His ears run flat and he lets out a low, spitting hiss, one that Bastet matches. Joker twirls his blade in his hand, coiling up for another strike, when green light suddenly floods the battlefield.
"ENOUGH!" Oracle calls out from above, much to Joker's confusion. This is not a good distraction to let them escape, Oracle!
"B-Bastet! Stop this now!" She calls out again, almost unsure of her own words.
To everyone's surprise, Bastet lowers her weapon and drops her hackles, still eyeing the Thieves warily, but not aggressively.
Joker hears Oracle mutter something like Oh my god, but he's not quite sure as Skull appears at his side, drowning out their navigator's words.
"What the EFF? Yo, Oracle! This some kind of new hacking skill you learned? She's totally backed off!" A malicious grin appears on Skull's face and he tightens his grip on his bat. "Lookin' like a good time for an all-out attack to m–"
Morgana pounces on Skull's bat, making him sway back as Morgana's weight ruins his balance.
"Absolutely not! Something's wrong; you can't just jump into the fray like that, you idiot!"
"Furball– get offa me you clown!" Skull spits, trying to shake his teammate from his weapon.
"Oracle?" Joker tries, exchanging looks with his teammate. "Hey, Oracle, what's going on?"
"J-Joker, if I said this was my fault, would you be mad?"
"Well, I kind of gathered this was your doing, given Necronomicon is here and all."
"No! I mean, I meant... Your curse! Th-That's because of me!" She squeals, beaming herself down from her persona to stand in front of the thieves with her arms splayed wide, like she's about to be crucified.
"I'm sorry! I realised it last night and tried to fix it by thinking really hard or by skipping to the endings, but–" Oracle gasps for breath, "–but it didn't work so I tried watching something else or reading things online to see if that would help, but nothing worked at all so then I figured I'd have to... I'd have to..."
Joker leans in and firmly grips her shoulders, his gaze searching for any meaning on what the hell all that meant.
"Oracle," he starts oh-so-gently, "Hey, calm down. It's okay, I'm not mad, I swear."
"...On Feather Red's blazing heart?"
"On Feather Red's blazing heart. I will not be mad."
Oracle sniffles and removes her goggles, eyes darting from each of her concerned friend's faces, before she finally relents and admits the truth.
"So, I've been watching a lot of cat boy anime recently," She starts, in the most guilty tone. "A-And I'm not saying I like it! I-I'm just curious! That's natural! It's good to branch out o-of your usual tropes and genre and–"
"Oracle." Joker says flatly, pulling away from her. He doesn't look mad, which is good but, Oracle isn't sure the bewildered expressions everyone’s putting on are any better, actually.
"Well I, i-it was a really long binge, okay, so I think... that well, maybe I might've gotten a bit too attached to the concept... like, can you blame me? You're really fuzzy and cute now, more-so than usual..." Oracle's eyes go wide and her tone raises several octaves as she continues, "but, it might've um, I mean it was bound to happen with my good memory and all, so it just kinda...!"
"Pharaoh?" Bastet asks with concern clear in her voice as she looks down at Oracle.
Oracle winces, feeling too mortified to look at any of her friends. "Well the shadows around here were born from my cognition, weren't they...?"
The room is silent. Oracle can only hear her own nervous breathing and Bastet's own calm breaths. She kind of wishes the cat-goddess wasn't so close, or even here right now! Because wow Oracle's chest is definitely going to cave in from–
Skull disrupts the silence by bursting out laughing, falling to his knees as he gasps for air between his tears.
"HOOOOLY SHIT! YOU'RE TELLIN' ME JOKER GOT CURSED FROM YOU WATCHING TOO MUCH TRASH ANIME?"
Oracle's head snaps up. "It was NOT trash! I mean, it wasn't that great either... but HEY-! THE ISEKAI ONE WAS BETTER THAN THE SHOUNEN CRAP YOU WATCH!"
"Wha-" Skull's mirthful expression is quickly replaced by one of offense. "Oh, you say that like YOU don't watch the same goddamn shit! Featherman has the same tone as the stuff I'm into! It's just… differentish!"
Oracle's painfully offended gasp and subsequent spiel about the difference between sentai and shounen is muffled in Joker's ears as he stares blankly at his hands and the twitching tail resting at his boots. Palace rulers...still have sway even after their distortion is destroyed? It makes a little bit of sense given that Oracle is hyper aware of all things cognition, but that's quite a bit of news to have dropped like this. He turns around to face his fellow thieves, mouth slightly ajar and their faces mirroring his own.
Noir offers him a wobbly smile and words that bring zero comfort. "Well, I guess I can't really blame her for latching onto such an idea... combining your already comforting features with that of a cat..." She wrings her fingers and looks away from Joker, her face becoming visibly red even with her mask in the way. "A-Actually, nevermind. Forget I said anything."
Joker ignores the mortifying picture Noir has painted him and focuses on the bigger implications of this situation; iInstinctively a part of him pounces on the thought that this could be used to an amazing advantage later on, but he quells those ideas for mulling over later, in favour of the more pressing problem at hand.
"Oracle." Joker says loudly, cutting off whatever argument Skull is still having with her. "Can... you fix this?"
Skull’s brows raise and he looks at Oracle, who looks like a tender deer about to get plowed over by a semi-truck right now.
"See... that's the thing.... I..... don't know...?"
Joker swallows thickly and presses the cool leather of his palms into his eyes. He's going to be a cat. Forever. So much for not raising any attention at school...
"H-Hang on, let's not jump to conclusions! Bastet is still here, isn’t she?" Panther supplies, turning to the shadow with an overly cheery smile. "Heyyy, Bastet! Um, your pharaoh has had a lot of fun and all, but you should really turn her friend back to normal now, okay!"
Bastet blinks, her expression unchanging. "The Pharaoh doesn't want him to return to normal. That is her desire."
Oracle goes beet red. "Tha-That's not true! I swear! Turn him back! Turn him back right now! NOW!" she wails, clinging onto the side of the shadow.
Bastet shakes her head. "It is my duty to provide for your whims. He shall remain until you are satiated."
"Satiated..." Queen muses. "Oh, you barely got to see Joker yesterday, didn't you? You had to leave before anyone else to help convince the Boss, right?"
"R-Right..."
"So," Queen turns to Bastet with a polite bow. "How about this? You change the curse so that it ends tomorrow morning and we'll have all of tonight to fulfil your Pharaoh's desire."
Bastet frowns as she mulls it over, uncertainty clear in both her and Oracle's eyes.
"W-Wait, but what about Joker! That's not really fair to you, is it?" Oracle pouts. "I don't wanna prolong this for you... I'm sure I could figure out a way to force Bastet..."
Joker hums softly, bringing up his hand to run a thumb along his velvety ears. "It’s not that bad. Especially if I know it will end. Thinking about this lasting forever though..."
He shakes his head. "Y'know it could be fun with my heightened senses and all. We could make Skull take me out to a sushi place or something."
"Hell yeah!" Skull agrees, looping an arm over Joker's shoulders. "That sounds like a ton of fu-- wait, why am I payin'!?"
Joker gently headbutts Skull and purrs, a genuine grin finally returning to his face. "Didn't you say you owed me one? Y'know for last night...? I'm cashin' it in right now."
Skull grumbles but has no rebuttal, opting to scratch behind Joker's ears in an attempt to stop his teasing remarks. God, is that purring loud when they're close like this. It rumbles straight through Skull’s chest...
Futaba seems to relax at Joker's admission and apparent contentment with this lasting just a little bit longer. She turns to Bastet and inclines her head towards the thieves.
"So? Is that a fair agreement..? I promise I'll have lots of fun tonight. Whatever it takes to fill this pesky desire of mine..."
Bastet nods. "If that is your true desire, then I'll make it so." She raises her staff once more and brilliant light rains down upon Joker.
Nothing visibly has changed, but the feeling of relief is palpable in the air.
"Ah! It seems Bastet was no longer needed now that we've reached a deal." Fox points out, looming over the pile of yen that lays where Bastet once stood. "Shall we call this mission a success...?"
Joker shrugs. "I suppose the issue has been solved. I'll decide whether it's a real success after I've eaten something though."
His grin stretches wide enough to show fangs as Skull playfully shoves him away and calls him an ass. Noir and Fox gather up the cash left behind and Queen suggests they put it towards dinner tonight as she hops behind the steering wheel of the Monabus. Oracle joins in the chorus of agreement, more focused on her navigation until she feels leather brush up against her side.
Joker sits next to her with a fond smile and he leans over enough to where Oracle could easily reach over and give his stupid life-ruining cat ears a scritch. She bites her lip and hesitates, thinking of how mortifying all of today has been and how Skull and even Joker probably won't let her live this down.
So... if they're gonna tease her for it anyway... might as well indulge, right?
Oracle lunges to pet Joker, relishing in the way his loud purrs override that of Mona's and the feeling of the taps of his tail curled up on her lap. Maybe it's been a good day after all.
