Chapter Text
Was she really going to do this?
Allowing Astarion to join her fantasies was one thing — but actually fucking him was something entirely different. She shouldn’t. Should she?
Yet, there he was, in her head again, goading her.
Tick, tock, darling.
Give me a moment, Astarion.
Are you so ill-mannered to everyone who gets you off or am I just that special?
Fuck you.
Yes, that is very much the point, isn’t it?
Fine.
Fine?
Yes. Fine.
Silence.
Did he not expect her to say yes? Naenia sat up and reached for her shirt. She had just pulled it over her head when Astarion slipped into her mind again.
You’re not getting dressed, are you?
Yes, Astarion. I’m not walking across camp naked. Unless you’ve changed your mind?
Hm.
What is it now?
I think, perhaps, you will walk across camp naked.
Naenia’s breath caught in her throat and she bit down on her lower lip. She couldn’t ignore the thrill that suggestion sent through her. She tugged the shirt back off but paused before dropping it.
And if I don’t?
Then you won’t get what you want.
Naenia preferred having all the power, but there was something about Astarion that made her feel so weak. She wanted him, and he knew it. If she wasn’t careful he could take advantage of her weakness. But, maybe tonight, it wouldn’t be so bad to be taken advantage of.
And, what exactly, do I want, Astarion?
We both know exactly what you want, Naenia.
Maybe it was the way her name sounded coming from him — even though it was just inside her mind. Her decision was made for her.
And if someone sees me?
That’s a risk you’re very willing to take, isn’t it?
Yes. Yes, it was.
Fuck. Okay.
Naenia sucked in a breath between her teeth, held it, then sighed before rolling up onto her feet. She peeked out the flap of her tent. The fire had burned down to embers, but the camp was still bathed in pale moonlight. If someone woke up, she would be easy to spot as she made her way to Astarion’s tent.
Would it be worth it? If their shared fantasies were any indication, yes. Naenia glanced around the camp one final time before she stepped out into the moonlight barefoot and completely naked. She was halfway across camp when she felt Astarion snake his way back into her mind.
His presence didn’t surprise her. What did surprise her was the two phantom fingers she felt slip inside her cunt without warning. Dizzy from the sudden rush of pleasure and shock, Naenia fell to her knees in the dirt and clamped a hand over her mouth just in time to stifle a moan.
She clenched, pitifully, around nothing — and yet, she felt them — Astarion’s dexterous fingers pressing in and out of her.
Hells, Astarion, seriously?
I thought you’d enjoy a bit of a challenge.
He wasn’t wrong. She was certainly enjoying this.
Just as Naenia lifted a leg to stand she felt an invisible thumb brush over her clit, sending another surge of desire through her body. She whimpered softly and bit down on her hand to stay quiet.
His fingers, the feeling of them, moving slowly in and out of her was exquisite. Naenia knew it wasn’t real, but, fuck, it felt real. The way he touched her was almost addicting. She craved him in a way she never craved anyone before.
Do you want me to stop?
Naenia held her breath and rocked her hips, enjoying the sensations that flooded her desperate, needy body. Another swipe along her clit had her tipping forward onto her hands, fingers digging into the dirt.
No. Don’t stop. But don’t —
She dropped her head and clenched her teeth as she swallowed down another whimper. Hopefully, everyone else was still sleeping.
Don’t wanna be seen like this.
Naenia raised her head and focused on his tent. It wasn’t much farther now.
Astarion’s voice was still only in her mind, but it felt like he was whispering in her ear.
Then crawl to me, darling.
The smallest hint of anger curled up in her stomach. Naenia did not crawl for anyone, especially not for a man like him. If anyone else had suggested this they would have likely — and rightfully so — lost their head. Astarion must know that.
So, why did he push her?
And, why did she like it?
Part of her found a thrill in Astarion’s boldness. Maybe this connection they shared with the tadpoles gave him more insight into her desires than she had ever even dared to explore within herself.
She put her dignity aside and allowed herself to indulge in this — humiliation. Just for tonight, she told herself. Just this once. Besides, if he made her regret this, she could always still kill him.
She began to crawl, moving as quickly and as quietly as she could. As she crawled, Astarion’s phantom fingers moved away from her cunt. Instead, she felt him run his fingers up her spine, the ghost of his hands squeeze her hips, dancing along her sides. As embarrassing as she felt in this position, it almost felt as though he was worshipping her — in a way.
Maybe she wouldn’t regret this after all.
The phantom hands vanished as soon as she reached Astarion’s tent. She slipped inside, pressed up onto her knees, and pulled the flap shut.
Astarion tutted softly. “I knew our little leader liked to follow orders.” He was naked, propped up on his forearms, taking in the view of her through a half-lidded gaze. His eyes raked down her body — her chest, her hips, between her legs.
She returned the treatment in kind, letting her gaze wander. Gods, he looked so good like this. Pupils blown wide from lust, a thin sheen of sweat coating his chest, his perfect cock already half-hard.
Naenia’s breath hitched when she imagined herself sinking down onto his lap, taking the length of him. She was still so wet because of him — for him.
“As much as we’re both enjoying our respective views, I’d rather you not just sit there and stare all evening,” Astarion purred.
Naenia licked her lips and flicked her eyes up to meet his. “Maybe I’m reconsidering.”
Astarion chuckled softly. “After everything you went through to get here? That would be such a shame. I was so looking forward to hearing you scream my name — again.”
“There will be no more screaming. We’re going to be quiet. I’ve humiliated myself enough for one night,” Naenia said.
Astarion tilted his head, smirking. “We’ll see about that.”
“You think you hold all the power here, don’t you?” Naenia asked.
“Don’t I?” Astarion teased. “I’ve been in your mind, darling. I know exactly what you desire. I’ve tasted you. I have more power over you than any of our companions.”
Naenia growled softly, a low, frustrated sound. She hadn’t meant to — she hoped he didn’t hear it. The problem was, he was right. None of their companions irritated her as much as Astarion did. She wouldn’t have crawled for any of them.
“If you’re going to be an ass about this, I’ll go back to my tent,” Naenia said.
“We both know you won’t do that.” Astarion looked away from her, leaned back, and stretched his arms out above his head.
“Oh? And what will I be doing?” Naenia asked.
Astarion rolled his head to the side, staring up at her with a sly smile. “You’re going to sit on my face until you come — preferably screaming my name. Then I’m going to feed from a very sensitive spot on your thigh. And, if you’re lucky, and if I feel like it, I’ll fuck you.”
Every nerve in Naenia’s body lit up with excitement. Her mind spun and her heart raced. She wanted this — him — more than anything else right now. “I hate you,” she whispered.
“Yes, I know, my dear. Now, come take your seat.” He licked his lips and stared at her with wide, dark eyes.
Naenia relented and closed the distance between them. Just as she moved to swing a leg over his chest, Astarion shook his head.
“Turn around,” he said.
Naenia raised an eyebrow.
“Just trust me.” Astarion gestured for her to come closer.
“Yes, trust you. The man who pulled a dagger on me the first time we met,” she teased.
“Oh, please, darling. I know people like you. I’m not the first person you’ve slept with who has threatened your life. I’m sure I won’t be the last.”
Naenia laughed. “Now that you mention it, I can’t think of one person I’ve fucked who hasn’t tried to stab, poison, or suffocate me.” Naenia crawled until she was on her knees just behind his head.
“Suffocation, hm? How did they go about that?” Astarion asked.
“Would you believe me if I said they were sitting on my face?” Naenia lightly tugged on one of Astarion’s soft curls.
Astarion kept his face tilted back, still staring up at her. “Ah, well, fortunately for both of us, I actually do not need to breathe.”
“Hm, that is fortunate,” Naenia whispered.
She almost — wanted to kiss him. Softly. For just the briefest moment, she wondered what it would feel like to have his lips moving gently against hers. What would he taste like?
That wasn’t like her. When she kissed it was bruising, unforgiving, all teeth and tongue and base desire. Nothing — special about it. This wouldn’t be special either.
Naenia pushed the thought down and scooted forward, blocking her view of his face. She positioned herself just above his mouth — the first thing she noticed was his body temperature.
Astarion breathed against her wet cunt, but his breath wasn’t warm. It was a new sensation, but certainly not unwelcome.
Astarion propped his knees up. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and dug his fingers into her soft skin. His cock was still half-hard and exposed, but there was no mention of her pleasuring him — so she did not consider it.
Naenia sighed and tried to hide the fact that her fingers were trembling. She wasn’t the nervous type. She was the type to take what she wanted when she wanted. So, how had he managed to reduce her to this? She pressed her hands against his chest and splayed her fingers, steadying herself as she slowly, and carefully lowered herself down onto his face.
She heard and felt the low rumble of a satisfied moan just before Astarion breathed her in with a deep inhale. The flat of his tongue licked a stripe up through her folds before he found her clit and wrapped his lips around the little bundle of nerves.
Pure, animalistic pleasure coursed through her body. This. This is who she was. This is what she wanted. Naenia rolled her hips, grinding herself down onto his face with little regard for him as he moved between sucking on her clit and flicking it with his tongue.
“Gods, Astarion, that feels so fucking good,” she whimpered.
Astarion moaned, nails digging into her skin in what she took as approval.
“If I’d known this would silence that smart mouth of yours I would have —” Naenia choked back a moan, still rolling her hips in smooth motions as she fucked herself against Astarion’s wanting tongue. “— I would have said yes the first time you asked.”
She didn’t notice Astarion had released his grip on her until two fingers pressed into her cunt. She clenched around them instinctively and continued grinding against his mouth. He curled his fingers, easily finding that perfect spot, and pulling another desperate moan from her throat.
The feeling of him beneath her was intoxicating. Her thigh muscles strained and her legs trembled as she inched closer and closer to bliss. She continued riding his face, chasing her pleasure and ignoring his now fully-hard cock.
She considered taking him in her hands, leaning forward, and taking his length in her mouth — swallowing him down until he was whimpering for her. Until he was begging for release.
Maybe, after —
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Astarion, right there,” she whined with no regard for who might hear them.
One more delicate, skillful swipe of his tongue across her clit was all it took. All the pleasure that had been building finally reached its peak and that final movement was enough to send her toppling over the edge.
“Astarion, hells, fuck —”
Her strength gave out and she let her weight collapse down onto his face. Her muscles tensed and her fingers dug into his chest as she plunged into divine ecstasy. Even if she’d had the presence of mind to stifle the whimpers and moans that passed her lips, she wouldn’t have. She let herself go, mind blissfully blank, as she rode out the shockwaves of her orgasm.
Naenia fell forward, hands on the ground on either side of Astarion’s hips. Her eyes were closed and her chest heaved with each labored breath. She tried to reorient herself, but there wasn’t enough time. Before Naenia even knew what was happening, the floor was gone and she was on her back staring up at the top of the tent.
She tilted her head and saw Astarion had already positioned himself between her thighs again, facing her. His lips, nose, mouth, and chin glistened with her arousal. He looked wrecked, in the best way. His pupils were blown wide. Naenia held her breath as he spoke.
“May I?” he drawled, before nipping gently at her thigh.
Naenia nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes, fuck, of course.”
His breath ghosted across her thigh as he searched for the perfect spot. There was a sharp pain as his fangs sunk into her flesh, then a throbbing numbness that faded into nothing as her desire for him picked back up again. She could come again, if she tried, with his teeth in her thigh — as he fed from her.
So she slid her hand between her legs, easily finding her throbbing clit, and began working quick, wide circles — trying not to overstimulate herself. The waves of her last orgasm weren’t distant, it was almost like she was pulling the tide back to her as she dove into the pleasure headfirst.
Astarion moaned against her thigh, drinking her blood in slow gulps. He held onto her leg on either side of his mouth, holding her still. The rest of her body squirmed and trembled as she sped toward another orgasm. It didn’t take much this time, she was right on the edge when Astarion yanked his teeth out of her thigh and snatched up her wrist.
He smiled down at her, blood smeared across his lips. “What do you think you’re doing, darling?”
Naenia sighed, frustrated, and weakly tried to pull her wrist out of his grip. He didn’t let her go.
“Either I make myself come again or you finally fuck me, Astarion,” she said.
“Is that what you want?” Astarion tightened his grip on her wrist and pushed forward. He moved up her body, grabbing her other wrist along the way. He kept moving until he was on top of her and her wrists were both pinned above her head.
Naenia stared up at him, wide-eyed and desperate for more contact. She wriggled underneath him and rolled her hips up slightly. He wouldn’t give her what she wanted, not yet.
“Yes, yes, I want you to fuck me,” she said breathlessly. “Do you want to fuck me?”
Astarion chucked darkly and bit gently at her jaw. “Yes, but I also want to hear you beg for it.”
“You are intolerable,” Naenia groaned.
“Really? You seem to tolerate me quite well, actually,” he purred.
“Next time you’re going to be the one begging for me,” Naenia said.
Astarion nipped at her lip. “If there is a next time.”
“There will be. Admit it, Astarion. You can’t get enough of me. My mind, my body, my blood — you’re addicted,” Naenia said.
He was just as addicted as she was, she hoped.
Astarion barked out a sharp laugh. “I think, perhaps, the blood loss is getting to your head, darling. But if that’s what you want to believe. Sure, why not.”
“If I’m wrong then let go of my wrists, get off me, and let me walk out of here before the sun rises. If I’m right then sink your teeth into my neck and fuck me already.” Naenia smiled.
A flicker of frustration flashed across his face, only momentarily. Astarion released his grip on her wrists.
For a second Naenia thought she’d been wrong about him after all. Then he grabbed her, pulled her close, and angled his cock at her entrance. He pressed himself inside her in one, hard, thrust just as his fangs sank into her neck.
Astarion moaned into her neck as he fed in desperate, needy gulps. Naenia didn’t know how much blood she could afford to lose, but she didn’t care. It would be a problem for Shadowheart to address in the morning.
Naenia grabbed his shoulders and dug her nails into his skin. She hooked her legs around his waist and rocked herself up as he fucked himself down into her. A string of curse words interlaced with his name spilled from her lips as she gave her body to him — losing herself fully to desire.
She savored each thrust, reveled in the way he fit so perfectly inside her. Her chest ached and her heartbeat grew quieter with each passing moment. There was something about him — how he felt, how he smelled — gods, she wondered if she could love him.
No.
No.
Absolutely not.
That’s just the blood loss talking. This is not love. They are just bodies — warm and cold, and desperate for affection in a world where certain death lurked around every corner. That’s all this was.
Then her vision began to blacken at the edges.
Death.
Fuck.
“Astarion,” she whimpered. “Fuck, Astarion, that’s enough.”
She grabbed a fistful of his hair and used what was left of her strength to tear him away from her neck.
“Shit, shit, I’m sorry,” he choked out. Astarion pressed himself up and pulled out of her body.
“No, no, keep fucking me — just —”
Naenia groaned and grabbed at the back of his neck. “Just no more biting. I’m tired.”
He licked at the blood on his lips and stared down at her with what appeared to be concern. “Are you certain?”
Naenia nodded, frustrated now. “Gods, yeah, Astarion. Fuck. I was so close.”
She grabbed his face and pulled him down into a kiss. He seemed hesitant at first, but she did not hold anything back. She kissed him the only way she knew how, with violence, lust, and anger.
Astarion did not protest. He pressed her thigh up, finding a new angle before he sank his cock back into her and set a punishing pace.
The wet, slapping sounds of their rutting filled her ears as Naenia let her mind drift once more. She focused on nothing other than the pleasure building in her core. The sensations, smells, and bliss of this moment. It didn’t take much longer before she was writhing beneath him, body trembling as her cunt clenched and pulsed around his cock.
She threw her head back, riding out her final orgasm of the night. “Come inside me, please,” Naenia whimpered between soft moans.
She heard what she assumed was a groan of approval from Astarion. Soon he, too, slipped over the edge — losing his rhythm before spilling himself inside her.
He was quick to roll off her.
Naenia sighed, satisfied. She considered reaching for him, pulling him close — but her arms and legs were still numb. She was simply too tired to move. Her eyes drifted shut and she focused on catching her breath.
She could hear Astarion moving about the tent, but she didn’t bother opening her eyes. Not until he whispered something and Naenia felt a warmth stretch from her chest down to her fingers and toes. Magic.
She pressed herself up on her forearms and stared up at Astarion — who was now on his knees. He was holding an amulet. “When did you get that?”
“The grove. It looked useful,” he said.
“You were right. I feel much better. Thank you,” Naenia said.
Astarion didn’t move, he was just staring.
“What is it?” Naenia asked.
“I nearly killed you,” he whispered.
Naenia shrugged. “You didn’t. Besides, what a way to go that would have been.”
“Naenia.” He said her name like a warning.
Naenia sighed. “If you want to make it up to me, then you can give me some clothes to wear. I’m going to need to clean up in the river.”
Astarion didn’t say anything, he just kept staring and staring.
“Or you can remain on your knees and apologize, whichever you prefer,” Naenia teased.
It was strange to watch Astarion slip the mask back on so easily. He laughed, but Naenia had seen a glimpse of something deeper — even if it was just for a moment. He wasn’t exactly what she thought he was, was he?
“I will lend you some clothes. Try not to ruin them. And don’t expect an apology from me — ever — for anything,” he said.
“Glad that’s all sorted then.” Naenia rolled her eyes and sat up.
Astarion stood and gathered an outfit for her. He dropped it at her feet.
Naenia pulled the shirt over her head. It smelled like him. As soon as it was on, she realized she had no intention of ever giving it back.
Astarion offered her a hand and pulled her up. “I’ll go with you to the river. It’s a rare treat for me, honestly.”
“Oh?”
Astarion nodded. “Running water used to burn. Another benefit of our little tadpoles, I suppose.”
“You must not be eager to rid yourself of it then?” Naenia tugged on a pair of underwear that didn’t quite fit right — and ignored the pants. This would do.
“I’m not in any particular hurry to return to the shadows.” Astarion slipped his shirt over his head and stepped into his pants.
“The shadows aren’t so bad,” Naenia said.
“Hm. That’s right. You were raised in the Underdark.” Astarion pulled open the tent flap and gestured for Naenia to step out first.
“Have you been?”
“For all the time I’ve spent lurking in the shadows, no, I never ventured into the Underdark.” Astarion walked close behind her as she led them to the river.
“It’s a dangerous and violent place. You’d like it.” Naenia flashed him a quick smile before turning her attention to the path ahead of them.
“Is that where you’ll return, when all this is over?” Astarion asked.
Naenia shrugged. “I suppose. It’s the only home I’ve ever known. What about you?”
“I don’t know. Baldur’s Gate is my home. I suppose I’ll stay there. If things go my way.”
Naenia spun to face him and took his hand in a moment of intimacy that was quite unlike her. “Things will go your way, Astarion. I swear it. We’re going to kill him.”
“I do admire your confidence. That’s just the sort of thing I was looking for in a leader.” Astarion gave the top of her hand a pat and pulled away. “Now, shall we get cleaned up? We’ve nearly wasted the entire evening.”
Naenia removed the shirt he lent her, folded it up nicely, and set it aside. Astarion piled his clothes neatly next to hers. He was the first to enter the river. His pale skin shone brightly in the moonlight — but it was the scars on his back that Naenia couldn’t stop looking at.
Once he was in the water, Astarion turned to face her. “Are you coming?”
Naenia smiled, shook herself free of her thoughts, and darted after him. She sighed as she sank herself into the river. The water was the perfect temperature, cool on her warm skin.
They both remained quiet as they washed up. Every now and then she would steal glances at Astarion. She hated that unfamiliar feeling in her chest — the pang of something that made her knees weak and her mouth dry. It wasn’t lust. But it couldn’t be love, could it?
She held her breath and slipped under the water. Here, she could only hear the rushing of the river. The rest of the world floated away. Nothing else mattered.
But her thoughts quickly returned to his scars. What he told her he’d gone through. Naenia meant what she said. Things will go his way. They will kill Cazador. No matter what.