Chapter Text
It was Saturday afternoon after their first – and surprisingly exhausting – week back to teaching. Hermione had fallen asleep on the couch in Severus’ quarters and when she blinked awake, she was alone. But there was a faint background noise that told her where he was: the lab.
Well, even without the familiar sounds of him brewing potions she should have been able to guess that. Severus spent every free minute in the lab. Really, she felt honoured that minutes with her didn’t count as free anymore.
Yawning groggily, she got up and crossed first the living room, then his office. Since she wasn’t wearing shoes, her approaching the lab was absolutely silent, though, and probably the reason why she became privy to another, not that familiar sound mixing into the others: a low muffled rumbling.
She stopped short, biting her lip. Did Severus just fart?
And not just a usual fart but a huge one! Never would he have let that one rip knowing that she could hear it!
Not that they were particularly touchy in that regard; they’ve done dirtier things with each other at this point. But flatulence didn’t seem to be a problem they were prone to and so they’d only witnessed the odd sleepy poot.
At least as far as she remembered. She couldn’t be made responsible for things her body did when she was asleep!
But Severus had never said anything hinting at that so she was probably fine.
She was torn from her musings by another rumbling sound on the other side of the leant door. It was followed by a tiny sigh.
Poor man …
Her spontaneity didn’t seem to agree with him. When they’d got up around noon, she’d Apparated to Glasgow, hit by a sudden craving for Indian takeaway. It had been delicious, as always, and Severus had enjoyed it as well, a fact she’d been rather surprised by if she was honest. He wasn’t a good or enthusiastic eater. He ate whatever was available whenever his stomach demanded it – and then he went back to what he had been doing before, completely indifferent to whether he’d liked what he’d eaten or not.
It was a pity that one of the rare occurrences of him enjoying a meal was followed by this.
But maybe … she could turn this experience around?
Pursing her lips, Hermione sneaked closer, cast the charm to slightly dampen the sensitivity of her nose (weaker than she had so far, she wanted to get used to the whole experience of her kink), and waited for the next time Severus released some gas from his probably bloated and unsettled stomach.
She grimaced when it happened; it was a long and low rumble of what sounded like hot farts leaving his backside. Oh boy …
Putting on a casual expression, she stepped into the lab, off-handedly remarking, “Lunch’s vexing you, love?”
Severus positively flinched and laying his startled eyes on her, he tensed up. “Hermione …”
She went to him and with a soft “Hey” she leaned up and kissed him. It was only meant as a peck but sensing his stressed demeanour, she extended it until he relaxed a bit against her.
He cleared his throat when she sank back down and returned his eyes to his potion. “I thought you were still asleep.”
“I know.” She reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, noticing him tense up even more. But he could do nothing to hide the grumbling in his belly. “You do know that I don’t mind, right?”
He huffed. “I did not but I assume I should have guessed.”
“Yes, you should have.” She smiled.
“I will still brew a potion to address that problem as soon as I’m done here.”
She pursed her lips. “Well, you can do that, of course …” she said and stepped behind him, looping her arms around his torso and beginning to rub his indeed bloated belly. Severus took a sharp breath. “Or we … solve it another way?”
He exhaled shakily, stopping his doing to seek support on the tiled surface of his lab table. “I … Are you sure?”
“Have I ever been unsure about anything I offered to you?” she echoed his words from about a week ago.
He held his breath, his body fully tensed up. Even his abdominal wall was as hard as stone.
“Just let go, Severus,” she murmured, continuing to circle her flat palm over his belly, “it’s fine.”
And so he did. He slumped a bit when he released his breath and an enormous fart that bubbled against her crotch and wafted up warm between their bodies. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
He huffed, glancing at her over his shoulder. “Does this turn you on?”
“Not particularly,” she admitted, “but it doesn’t turn me off either. And it inspires me …”
Giving his potion a last stir, Severus pushed the cauldron off the fire and turned around to her. “Does it now?”
She smirked up at him. “Yes.”
“And what exactly does my strained digestion inspire you to?”
Catching her lip between her teeth, she let it slowly slip out again before she said, “I would love to bend you over this table and fuck you until you feel better.”
He gulped, apparently surprised by her proposal. Then a smirk curved his lips. “Miss Granger … It seems like you should take a nap more regularly, it helps loosen your tongue.”
She chuckled. “I guess that’s on the week we had and not on my nap. And on my cycle. I’m horny like a rabbit on steroids. Just thinking about what I want to do with you …” She moaned delicately and rubbed herself against his front, searching and finding his growing bulge.
And it bothered her not a single bit that another bubbling fart escaped the very arse she planned to fuck at that exact moment. It ended in an almost adorable squeak.
“So … are you interested?”
Severus grimaced and grasped her hips. “I am …”
“But?”
He blinked. “I cannot use the charm. Not unless I take a potion that settles my stomach first because if I use it now all of this -” He circled his finger over his bloated belly. “- will be stuck in me for several more hours and -”
She put a finger on his lips. “You misunderstood me, Severus. I don’t want you to use the charm. Rather I want to be the potion that settles your stomach.”
He blinked. “I see …” he then said hoarsely.
Hermione grinned. “Well?”
His eyes jumped back and forth between hers for some seconds, then he nodded. “Get the strap-on.”
And that was exactly what she did.
She left a trail of clothes on her way into the bedroom and after she’d put on her strap-on, she paused. Severus was a bit taller than she so she would probably have difficulty meeting him at the right height. Unless …
She turned to her part of his wardrobe and fetched the high heels she’d worn to Lavender’s hen do. And because her thigh highs were still tucked into them, she put those on as well. All in then, she thought and switched her white cotton bra for her black lace bra, regarding herself in the mirror with a satisfied nod, angling her head when she scrutinised the slightly bobbing strap-on. She was getting more and more used to seeing herself with a penis. Huh …
Throwing her dressing gown on, she returned to the lab, stopping at the door and reaching a hand up the frame to give Severus the show he deserved for allowing her to fuck him under these circumstances.
He gulped again when he spotted first the bra, then her strap-on peeking out between the folds of her dressing gown, and eventually her stockings and the heels she’d put on. His mouth opened a bit but he said nothing.
“Did I succeed in making you speechless?” she purred.
“I … guess you did,” he mumbled, grimacing when another rumble from inside his belly disrupted their moment. “This will be a mess …”
“Good.”
He snorted.
“Well, why are you still clothed? I thought you would be waiting for me, starkers and adorning the floor with precum …”
He arched an eyebrow. “I like this time of your cycle,” he said in a dark voice and when she approached him, he pulled her close and kissed her hungrily, reaching down to pump her cock. “Can’t wait to sink this into my dirty hole, can you?” he muttered, eliciting a gasp from her.
“Never,” she breathed, rubbing his bulge in turn before she fumbled to open his trousers and push them over his hips together with his briefs. Severus hissed when his cock met hers and couldn’t stop himself from thrusting forwards, three, four times, all the while trying to get himself out of his clothes.
When they’d finally succeeded, Hermione put a hand on his chest. “Turn around,” she whispered, stealing a last kiss from his lips.
With a smirk, he complied. He even leaned over the table voluntarily, exposing his perfectly round backside to her.
Hermione bit her lip, half-heartedly stifling a moan, and stroked her palms down his pale bumcheeks. She grinned when a hissing fart escaped him the moment she parted them.
Severus moaned.
“Feels good?” she cooed.
“Ugh, yes …”
She hummed. “You think you can keep them in for a few minutes?”
He glanced at her. “What are you planning to do?”
She grinned. “Returning a favour.”
He arched his eyebrow but nodded. “Don’t go too deep.”
“I won’t.” She took her wand from the pocket of her dressing gown and because she was feeling warm already, she took it off and threw it aside carelessly. “Scourgify!” she mumbled, pointing the tip at Severus backside. Then she put the tool away and crouched down until she was face to face with his puckered anus. Taking a deep breath, she leaned in and licked across the skin surrounding it, for the first time attempting something like this. It was surprisingly unspectacular, tasting like every other part of his skin she’d had the pleasure to taste so far. It was just slightly more hairy, but not too much to bother her.
And the low moans coming from Severus encouraged her to go on, circling the tip of her tongue over his tightly closed hole and cupping his balls with her hand, carefully rolling them around. He took a hissing breath, slightly arching into her touch and her tongue. “Fuck …” he breathed, straightening his legs to not lose his balance.
She grinned, softly prodding his entrance, not with the intention to slip her tongue through the tight muscle but to indulge him a bit.
He rewarded her with an intense shudder.
“Stop,” he then gasped and she obeyed and stood back up.
“Enjoyed yourself?” she asked, stroking her hands up his back when he relaxed and released some more gas, bubbling sharply against the wetness she’d left on him.
“Very much so.”
Hermione cocked her head and peeked onto the floor underneath him. Now there were some drops of precum glistening in the soft light. “I see,” she grinned and fetched her wand again. “Still in?” she checked up with him.
“If you’re still in, I’m still in,” he retorted and cast a hooded glance at her.
“I cannot wait,” she mumbled and lubed Severus and her strap-on up generously, the growing thrum of arousal peaking from the familiar feel of the cool lube on the toy that more and more felt like it was a part of her body every time she wore it. “Relax,” she said when she was done and positioned the tip of her cock against Severus’ anus.
He exhaled deeply, the kind of exhale she connected with these situations so much that the sound alone made her stomach tickle, and her tip slipped into him.
“All right?” she inquired, “Enough lube?”
He hummed in agreement, completely focussed on taking her in fully. Hermione held still while he was softly rocking his hips against her, slowly inching himself onto her cock.
“Mhh, so good,” she mumbled, slowly caressing his lower back and his arse, still amazed by how gorgeous it felt to have his tight hot hole surround and squeeze her.
Until another burning fart forced its way out, rattling against the strap-on and causing a delicious jolt of lust to shoot through Hermione. “Oh, fuck!” she exclaimed, totally unprepared for that sensation.
Severus chuckled. “Turned on by my farts after all?”
“Surprisingly, I am,” she huffed and slipped further into him, moaning from the tightness surrounding her. “Ahhh, yes …”
It took Severus about a minute or two to relax enough to take her in fully. And when her crotch met his backside, he breathed a sigh of relief. “Fuck …”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just … a lot. This will get messy soon.” He widened his legs a bit, bringing his hips down lower until they were perfectly positioned for Hermione.
“Well, that's what we're here for. Don't hold back, love.”
He nodded and put his forehead on his arms, relaxing into everything that was happening in his body, the strap-on buried in his arse, the pressure of his unsettled stomach, and the mixing of what she assumed were very different sensations, namely his strong arousal in contrast to the pain his bowels were probably causing him.
So she took it slowly, letting herself slip out of him before she carefully pushed back in. She moaned, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. Gods, this man felt so good around her …
When she slipped out next, more gas came loose, helping her to another round of tickling ripples around the tip of her cock, prompting a moan from them both. “Is it just the relief that feels good, love?”
“No,” he mumbled, “Go on.”
So she did, watching mesmerised as her cock disappeared into Severus’ arse, the deceptively real-looking and feeling skin wrinkling against his entrance. Her fanny was once again leaking her arousal down her legs and the anticipation of what Severus had announced would happen only amplified that. There was absolutely no sense in denying it anymore, she was completely and utterly turned on by watching him poo, so much so that even thinking about it made her heart beat so hard and fast that she felt the need to hold on to Severus’ arse.
Maybe the thought of having her watch him poo was just as arousing for Severus because his moans grew louder and deeper and when Hermione looked up she saw that he was pressing his fingers so hard against the surface of the table that his nails stood out white. Then he groaned, more from pain probably than lust. “Herm-mione, I …” His voice faded into a suppressed gasp and when she pulled out of him this time, she did so completely and bit down on her lip when Severus pushed down fiercely.
She took a sharp breath when a stream of mushy poo erupted from his stretched hole. It pattered to the ground between them, splattering onto her feet and his calves, mixed with more gas that popped out of him and sprinkled her belly with little dots of poo.
It was a sight that almost made her come then and there.
And for the first time, the putrid smell was exactly what she wanted. It didn’t disgust her, on the contrary! It supported what she was experiencing and she took a deep breath, relishing the rapid twitching of her fanny.
The stream tapered off with a tiny mewl from Severus, followed by a weak, “Oh God, bloody hell …”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Feel better, love?”
“Immensely,” he mumbled back, sounding outright exhausted. “Are you all right?”
“I’m bloody perfect,” she reassured him, “I almost came watching you.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“Ready for me to go on?”
“Yes.” It was merely a breath.
And so she stepped back closer, lubing them both up again before parting his soiled cheeks and pressing back into his shit-caked hole. It was easier than the first time round with him still being stretched and more relaxed now that he’d been able to relieve some of the pressure in his guts. But it still felt as amazing as before, maybe even more so. His poo was smeared across her strap-on and small amounts of it leaked out around it when she withdrew, dripping down into the pile underneath them, specks of it sticking to her pubic hair as well. “Ugh, you’re so hot,” she mumbled, grasping his hips harder to pull him back onto her.
Severus uttered a trembling moan and even motioned to meet her halfway before he pushed down when she withdrew the next time, causing more poo to bulge out around her cock. Hermione whimpered, turned on beyond belief. He gasped when she slipped out of him completely, clearing the way for another bout of mushy poo. He was panting when it subsided, his head still resting on his crossed arms. She could see his skin pebble from how good it had to feel to get rid of what was knotting his bowels.
Following an instinct, Hermione leaned down and kissed his lower back, circling her tongue over his soft skin and trailing it up until she met his first scars. They were old, white, and soft, but he hadn't told her yet where they were stemming from. She'd never asked him either. Since he'd never shown any reluctance to let her see them, she assumed that he didn't think of them most of the time and it felt unnecessary to remind him just to satisfy her curiosity. Still, she sometimes felt the need to soothe the wounds that had caused them, and so she caressed them with kisses and gentle licks until she got the impression that Severus was ready to take her in again.
And indeed did he meet her first thrust with a moan and every following as well, pushing himself up on his forearms and letting his head hang low between his shoulder blades, creating a cavity with his body that amplified his sounds of pleasure, making her skin pebble as well from how intense he sounded.
Just when she thought she would make him come any second, Severus stopped her again. “Ugh, fuck, wait!” He shuddered violently when she pulled out and needed a second to regain his composure until he was able to push down again, releasing another voluminous stream of mushy poo that left him shuddering and groaning, his legs wobbling alarmingly.
Hermione whined watching him, she couldn’t stop herself. Everything about this was depraved and filthy, from the way the shit was leaking down Severus’ balls and dripping to the ground, forming a growing heap slash puddle of poo that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be diarrhoea or not, over his cock that was leaking so much precum that she wondered if it really was precum or rather piss, to her own trembling legs that had a hard time supporting her on her heels with all the lust that was pent up in her, waiting for that one sensation that would finally push her to release.
It was wrong, it was good, it was exactly what she wanted. What she needed!
Severus ended his release with a groggy moan and another soft “Fuck!”, to which he added, “Fuck, fuck, fuck …”
“Everything all right?”
He nodded. “Yes, no, it’s … fuck.”
She grinned, caressing his lower back. “I know what you mean …”
He huffed. “I almost came … from pooing.”
“Well,” she quipped, “I almost came from you pooing as well, so …”
He rumbled a dark laugh and looked around at her. “What have I done to deserve you?” he said, in one of the softest voices she'd ever heard him use.
Hermione smiled. “Ditto.”
“Love you,” he breathed.
“Love you too.” But her twitching fanny interrupted this moment of tenderness they were sharing over a heap of shit. “Ready to come for real?”
“Hell yes.”
This time, Hermione didn’t take it that slow anymore. As far as she could tell, Severus should be pretty empty by now and their previous plays had given her an inkling of how he liked this the most: harder and faster than she’d dared to move so far. But she was adamant to make good for it.
Grasping his hips, she pounded back into him, carefully listening to the sounds he was making and all of them gave her the green light. So she let herself fall into her lust that was rapidly building back up, joining Severus in his moans and whines and soft cries of bliss, and if she was holding back, then only because he deserved to be the one to come first after that amount of vulnerability he shared with her today.
And he did.
Come first.
With a guttural cry and bucking hips, his legs almost gave way underneath his weight and the intensity of his climax. Hermione mewled watching him, then she angled her head and watched his cum erupting from his swollen cock, ropes of creamy white on the grey lab floor, and followed him with her next thrust.
Her fingers pierced into his skin because she was met with the same problems as Severus had been: keeping herself on her feet while her body spasmed through her orgasm. Eventually, she collapsed onto him, her high heels slipping a bit on the soiled floor. They both stilled, panting hard, her cock still buried to the hilt in his arse.
And then a shy but strengthening splatter quenched the silence.
“Are you peeing?” she mumbled.
He hummed in the affirmative. “’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Just thought my body was doing something I’m not aware of …”
Severus huffed. “Was it that good?”
“No, better.” She struggled to stand back up and because she was not only depraved beyond measure but also unabashed as fuck, she watched him empty his bladder, his piss mingling with his shit and cum on the floor. “The holy trinity of body fluids,” she assessed and earned herself an amused look from Severus.
“Care to join in?” he asked in a dark voice when his stream tapered off and he straightened back up, groaning from what had to be an aching back.
Hermione pursed her lips and looked down at herself. It took her a moment, but then she managed to let go and a soft stream of piss was flowing from the tip of her hopelessly soiled strap-on.
Severus moaned, his spent cock twitching from an aftershock of lust. Then he leaned down and kissed her, a kiss so good it made up for all the kisses they’d been unable to share during the last half hour or so. “Thank you,” he mumbled against her lips.
“I have to thank you!” All about him sharing this predicament with her was special and she wanted him to know that she appreciated his trust. She herself probably wouldn't have felt comfortable letting him witness such a moment yet.
He smiled, her message apparently received, and when she was done emptying her bladder, he took her wand from the table next to him and made all the mess they’d made disappear with a swift flick.
“This never gets old,” Hermione huffed and slung her arms around his now once again flat belly.
“Indeed.” He kissed her crown, holding her close for a while. Then he said, “Maybe we should get some takeaway again soon.”
A grin spread on Hermione's face. Mission accomplished.