Chapter Text
He'd had a bad feeling from the moment the Australian Ministry of Magic told them they wouldn't be allowed to use magic outside of their holiday rental. “New guidelines,” had been their reasoning, a lousy one if you asked him. But being guests in this country for only ten days, Severus didn't dare argue. They would cope.
Or so he thought.
Well, for a while, things were all right indeed. Christmas with Hermione's parents was a breeze, exploring Canberra was, too; being around Muggles, it was easy to forgo magic. Nobody was using it anyway.
But he should have known that feeling too safe with the whole thing would lead to problems, just because fate was like that.
Yet he didn't see it coming. Not when they went to the New Year's party Hermione's parents were hosting for all of their friends, not when the fireworks went up outside and she kissed him, not when he and Hermione decided to head back to their rental around two in the morning.
He just arched his eyebrows at the hard-of-hearing cab driver, who introduced himself to them as Dave. Hermione had to repeat their address thrice, and Severus was silently wondering if Dave was even allowed to drive a car. Oh, how oblivious he'd still been then, not the least bit anticipating how grateful he would soon be that this man in particular had turned out to be their cab driver tonight.
But even if fate hadn't been such a …well, bitch, they would probably have been grateful they got him; Severus had had no idea how much of a hassle it was to get a cab on this night of the year! Not attending New Year's parties has its perks …
Anyway, they did get a cab at last and Severus got in behind Dave while Hermione hurried to her mother, who'd called her back for whatever. Severus glanced at them through the window, wondering what they were still chatting about while the taximeter was running already. They would come back for brunch in about ten hours!
In the end, the woman gave Hermione a bottle of water and Severus rolled his eyes. As if we wouldn't have hangover potions …
But Hermione took it and he would thank her for that in about half an hour.
But first, she finally got into the car herself, slumped into the backseat with a tipsy giggle and fumbled with the seat belt. “Can you take this for a second?” she asked and thrust the bottle into his hands.
“Sure,” he grumbled, eyeing the bottle. And softly enough for Dave to hopefully not hear them, he asked, “Did you never tell your parents about potions?”
Hermione chuckled. “Oh, yes, I did. But I doubt they realise how bloody awesome they are, especially when you brewed them.” She smirked and plucked the bottle from his hand before pecking his lips. “But I'm thirsty anyway.” She opened it and downed almost half of it in one go, only disrupted by the cab stopping rather abruptly.
“I'm sorry!” Dave called from the front, followed by a stream of profanities directed at the car driving in front of them - loud enough that Severus wouldn't have been surprised if the other driver had heard him.
Hermione brushed some droplets of water from her chin, chuckling again. “Oh wow, this will be so entertaining …”
“Well, at least one of us will have fun, then.”
“Oh, come on,” she said and nudged his shoulder, “it's New Year's Day! And we're in Australia! It's summer out there, Severus! On New Year's Day!” She gasped in a way that actually made him snort a laugh.
“You're drunk.”
“I am, yes. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm right.” She took another swig of her water before offering him the bottle.
He declined with a shake of his head, though.
Thank fuck!
Because fate began playing her games with him shortly after they drove onto the motorway. “Is this an abduction?” Severus muttered, glancing out the window. They hadn't used a motorway getting to Hermione's parents.
“Dunno,” Hermione muttered and leaned forward to ask Dave.
As if he would tell her if it was!
“The city is packed right now!” he yelled back, though, “This way's faster!”
“I doubt that,” Severus muttered, eyeing the line of red lights in front of them sceptically.
“We'll see,” she murmured back and took his hand before glancing out her window into the dark night. Some fireworks were still lighting up in the sky every now and then.
It was a couple of minutes later that he felt the first twinge of his bladder. With a frown, he glanced at his crotch. Don't you dare … He'd visited the loo before they'd taken off, that had been half an hour ago at most! There was no way he'd drunk enough this evening that he would need the loo again so quickly. I must be imagining it.
After all, it was Hermione who'd emptied half a litre of water in no time!
But another couple of minutes (and streams of profanities directed at other cars) later, he was pretty sure he wasn't imagining it. For whatever reason, the water Hermione had drunk had filled his bladder.
Severus cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, drawing Hermione's attention. “Are you all right?”
“Sure.” He smiled falsely and brushed his mouth before looking out the window again. The cab had slowed down a lot now, adapting to the traffic. It wasn't a traffic jam yet, cars were still moving, but much slower than they should have been driving on the motorway. Faster, my arse, he thought and clenched his teeth and his muscles down there. God, there wasn't even an opportunity to stop for a moment!
Only that they did.
The cab stopped moving completely, sending a jolt through Severus's bladder that told him he was even more fucked than he thought. “What is it now?” he ground out and looked around.
“Maybe an accident,” the driver said, for the first time lowering his voice to a reasonable volume, “I'm sorry! I'll stop the taximeter until we're out of this.”
Groaning, Severus put his elbow against the window and hid his mouth behind his hand. Every fibre of his being screamed at him to get out of the car and find a spot to empty his bladder as soon as possible, but they were in the middle of a motorway and the other cars surrounding them were moving at times. He would not only endanger himself but everybody else, too. Worst case, somebody would call the police because some lunatic was walking around on the motorway.
He swallowed down a hysterical laugh.
Hermione's hand on his thigh distracted him. “What's wrong, love?”
He pursed his lips, holding his breath when the car rolled forward a bit, just to stop with another jolt that made him groan. “I need the loo,” he murmured and unobtrusively gripped himself.
“Oh, crap,” she breathed, grimacing.
“Not exactly.” He wouldn't have quite that much of a problem if it were that. At least not a “I will flood the whole damn seat if we don't get out of here soon” problem.
Hermione exhaled slowly and looked around the cab and the motorway as if she knew her way around here enough to tell how much longer this ride would take. Then she remembered that she did not know her way around and looked at him again. “I can only offer you a bottle,” she said with a sad half-smile and tilted her hand holding the empty plastic bottle.
Severus curled his lips. “I can hardly -” He glanced at Dave, but he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that they were talking. “- piss into that right here!”
“Well, he surely won't notice!” She talked a bit louder, but even that didn't make the man aware of their conversation. He didn't even check the rear mirror.
Severus closed his eyes when the cab began moving again. “I'll keep it in mind as a plan B,” he muttered. Maybe it wouldn't take them that much longer to get at least off the motorway. Surely he could ask (or rather scream at) the cab driver to stop for a moment so he could piss at a tree or something like that.
“As you wish,” Hermione said and grasped his hand again.
Severus squeezed hers in return.
And some other parts of his body, too.
In the following about ten minutes, he was alternating between praying to some deity that they would get out of this traffic hell soon, or imploring his bladder to stay strong. Sometimes, he was also cursing the fact that he was in this situation to begin with, that he had to almost constantly squeeze his cock to distract his body with another kind of sensation, even if it only lasted for a couple of seconds.
How had this become so bad so quickly anyway? It wasn't as if they had been stuck here for an hour or so already, it had only been half an hour since they'd left Hermione's parents!
He groaned again when the cab stopped.
And when a spurt of piss finally leaked from the tip of his cock despite his hardening grip, he tore his eyes open. “Fuck.”
Hermione just looked at him, eyebrows raised, and wordlessly offered him the empty bottle again.
Goddammit. Severus bared his teeth as he glared at the stupid bottle.
His bladder twinged as if sensing the release, almost painfully, but definitely short of surrendering, and he snatched the bottle from Hermione's hand. “I can't believe I'm doing this,” he muttered, his eyes fixed on Dave's head while he opened his fly and shifted in the seat, trying to get his cock out.
“Better this than flooding the leather seats,” Hermione reminded him softly.
“We're through this soon!” Dave informed them then and Severus flinched like caught in the act, his cock half out of his trousers.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“That's great!” Hermione yelled back and gave the man a thumbs-up.
Severus scowled at her.
“What?”
He grumbled under his breath, hesitating for a second longer to see this through. Especially when he looked out the window and locked eyes with the driver of another car for a second. Heat flooded his face and he glanced down at himself again, at his hand, which was holding his cock, mortified.
“They cannot see you,” Hermione murmured, patting his knee. “The windows are tinted.”
“I can see it,” he muttered back, though.
She tilted her head, smiling sympathetically. “If that helps, I find this extremely sexy.”
“Of course, you do,” he mumbled. But his cock was out enough that he couldn't hide the telltale twitch.
She wriggled her eyebrows knowingly.
“Oh, do shut up, woman.”
“I didn't say anything. But I could tell you that I'm extraordinarily jealous that you can touch yourself like that here, while I could never reach my private parts without being caught, no matter how soaked my knickers are already.”
His cock twitched again and swelled a bit, causing Severus to groan. “You're not making this easier!”
“Don't know what you're talking about. As far as I can see it, you're waiting for your -” She glanced at Dave again. “- piss,” she mouthed, “to magically appear in the bottle.”
“Minx,” he muttered and finally twisted the cap off the bottle, thrusting it into Hermione's hands with a scowl.
She smiled triumphantly.
Huffing, Severus pressed the tip of his suffering cock against the mouth of the bottle and closed his eyes while he focused on letting go.
And considering that he'd dribbled into his pants already, that should have been so much easier than it turned out to be! But the stupid traffic decided to go another few metres the moment he wanted to let go, causing him to clench everything at once. “I can't do this … Not here, of all places!” he whisper-exclaimed.
“But you can pee yourself?”
“Fuck …” He squeezed his eyes shut, then the cab stopped again and he surrendered to fate.
It was a shy trickle at first, the warm droplets running along the inside of the bottle so he could feel it against his cool fingers. Then he swallowed thickly and pushed a bit to get things going. Made no sense to drag this out longer than he already had.
The trickle grew into a stream that pattered into the bottle, loud enough to make the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. What if Dave heard something after all? He chanced a glance at the back of his head.
“It's fine,” Hermione assured him softly and squeezed his knee.
“Nothing about this is fine,” Severus muttered, but he couldn't have stopped now, even if he wanted to. Not yet, that was. He would have to stop eventually; the bottle only held half a litre, that wouldn't be enough to empty his bladder fully. “Can you see how full it is?” he murmured to Hermione.
She tilted her head. “'Bout half.”
Oh, thank god! He moaned softly and released more piss into the bottle. Then he could feel it, too. The heat against his hand. His cock hardened further.
“You're killing me,” Hermione whispered and shifted in her seat, her eyes jumping back and forth between Dave and the bottle he was filling up with something that wasn't supposed to go into a bottle.
“Tell me about it …”
She giggled frenetically, then she unobtrusively rubbed her middle against the seat a bit harder, moaning.
The only good thing about the fact that Hermione was turned on that much from what he was doing was that she was turning him on as well, which meant his cock swelled further, which meant his piss stopped virtually on its own when the bottle was full. “Give me the cap,” he said, and almost spilt some of the piss when the cab suddenly began moving again and gaining speed.
“We're through it!” the driver yelled happily and switched the taximeter back on, just when they were passing by the accident scene that fate had thrown his way.
“Wonderful!” Hermione yelled back while handing him the cap, and Severus snorted because he knew exactly where her excitement was coming from. “Was that enough?” she asked him, then.
“Has to be,” he mumbled back and put the bottle full of piss down between his feet.
“Give it to me!” She wiggled her fingers greedily.
“Seriously?!”
“Why, yes! I'm taking that, and you're packing your-” Another glance at Dave. “-beautifully hard cock back where it belongs!”
He groaned again and furtively handed her the bottle, once again keeping an eye on Dave.
Hermione cursed softly when the warm bottle of piss touched her hands. “I wish I could -”
“Don't!” he hissed, trying to get his cock back where it belonged. It was bad enough he pissed into a bottle on the backseat of a cab, he couldn't come on top of that!
She chuckled and rolled the bottle in her interlaced hands, still rubbing her core against some seam in her trousers or whatever.
Severus couldn't look at her, or he would come after all.
Luckily, the rest of the drive didn't take that long anymore, then. Not long enough, at least, for his bladder to fill up again noticably, or for his cock to go down fully. Hermione climbed out of the car when it stopped in front of the house where their rental was, hiding the bottle from view as best she could, and Severus paid Dave.
“Sorry for the delay, sir!” he said loudly.
“No problem,” Severus ground out and gave him another note, just because he happened to be hard-of-hearing and wonderfully oblivious to everything that had transpired behind him.
“Thank you!” he exclaimed in surprise and Severus left him with a non-committal smile, grimacing from the discomfort in his trousers.
Hermione stood on the pavement, smirking.
“Let's get inside,” Severus muttered, looking up and down the street.
“Still need the loo?” she quipped.
“No,” he said in a dark voice, “I need you, now!”
A beautiful blush blossomed on her cheek. “Yes, please,” she murmured, “as long as we do something with this as well.” She nodded at the bottle full of piss, and Severus cursed under his breath and ushered her inside before he could soil his pants one way or another after all …