Chapter Text
"Misha. Holy shit."
"Jensen, it's the middle of the day and you're already looking to score some ass?"
"Look at him -- it's the guy sitting by himself at the table in the corner. The big guy -- long brown hair, looks like he's built like a brick shit house."
"Okay well, he's certainly your type, but could you put your dick away at least until after we're done having fuckin' lunch together?"
"But what if he leaves?"
"Bro, he's obviously eating with someone! Do you not notice the other plate? And the PURSE! It's a woman! He's not gay."
"My ass he isn't gay. I bet you twenty bucks."
"I bet you thirty he punches you in the face."
"Actually, you have yourself a deal, because that would be an exciting story to tell."
Jensen hops off his bar stool after downing the rest of his drink, much to Misha's disapproval. He feels like he should care more, and he's probably said this a hundred times already, but love at first sight. Isn't that a thing? He's never seen a more beautiful back-of-the-head in his entire life. He's probably built like Adonis, and Jensen can tell from behind.
Yes, it's midday in a Chili's and he feels a little buzzed from the two beers he had but that really isn't going to stop him. He finally catches a glimpse of this guy's face as he nods at his waiter. He's beautiful, that is the only word Jensen can think. He's absolutely mesmerized. His cheekbones could cut glass, Jensen's sure of it. He has to get this guy's number. Please, God, for once be on his side -- let this man be gay.
He steps up to the table and has to take a deep breath to stop himself from rambling. He's currently looking at his phone, so Jensen just starts.
"Um, hey man, this might seem a little weird, but I noticed you from across the room and you took my breath away. I'm sorry if you're not gay, but I was... wondering... "
Still not listening.
"Yo, bro."
Nothing.
Jensen waves his hand near his face, and the guy immediately looks up like he's severely embarrassed. He goes to open his mouth, but Jensen just stops him with a grin.
"Don't worry about it. I was just telling you that I noticed you from all the way across the room. You're beautiful, and I was wondering if I could get your number."
Literally still nothing.
Jensen's seen more emotion on a toaster.
"Um... hello?"
"Wow, he's deaf."
Jensen turns to meet eyes with his attacker but only meets air. She's a 5'3 Sicilian woman that Jensen has to look down very, very far to see.
"Excuse me? He's what?"
"He's deaf. Can't hear."
"What the hell are you doing with your hands?"
Her eyes grow saucer wide like she's never been more offended in her life.
"It's called interpreting? He doesn't speak English, asshole. He speaks ASL -- American Sign Language. Because he's deaf. Go eat someone else's ass, please."
"Wait, no, really -- he's deaf? Can't hear a thing? HELLO IN THERE?"
"You literally have 30 seconds to turn around and walk away before I eat your ass with my Louboutin."
The guy suddenly lets out a low moaning sound as he stands, using his hands to cover his friend's. He frantically waves his hand at her while he holds onto both of hers with his other. He's got some huge hands. He suddenly turns to Jensen after the woman lets out a low sigh and shrugs.
"Whoa, whoa, why is he doing that? What is he doing?"
She looks like she'd rather be slitting her own throat than be talking to him.
"He's trying to fucking communicate with you, dipshit. Shut the fuck up and LOOK at him. He asked me to interpret for him."
Jensen's mind is reeling. He has no idea what to fuckin' do.
The guy sighs heavily, but he starts waving his hands again, and the woman starts to speak.
"Look, I deal with guys like you on a regular basis. I have no desire to try and help you or speak with you until you help yourself. Please leave so my friend and I can finish our lunch. I would really appreciate it. I hope you have a good day."
Jensen turns to speak to the woman, but she holds up her hand. "No -- you're talking to him, so talk to him. I said I would interpret."
"Um... oh-okay? I, uh... I'm sorry? I've never done this before. I've never met a deaf person. I didn't, um... I've never met someone like you before, someone that can't... I mean, I don't -- I'm sorry. I just wanted his -- your -- number. That's all. I mean, you're beautiful." He can tell the woman is trying really hard not to roll her eyes at him. "You are. You took my breath away when I saw you. I didn't mean to upset you, okay?"
The guy lets her finish waving her hands around before he starts waving them back at Jensen.
"Genevieve might be my interpreter when I work, but today we're having lunch as friends, so I think you owe her an apology. And me, really, but I'll let it slide. I deal with people like you regularly."
"People like me?"
"Idiots," she says, with an all too-happy grin.
"I... I apologize for wasting your time. Both of you."
"Thank you, and he appreciates it. He also said he has a boyfriend."
Jensen wasn't aware it was possibly to fall in love and get your heart broken all in a matter of ten minutes, but it's happened and holy shit does it feel terrible.
"Well, I guess he's a lucky guy. Sorry. Have a good day."
And... and, well, that's really it, isn't it? She sits down and immediately they both begin waving their arms at each other. She's blushing like he's complimenting her like crazy and he's laughing, but his voice sounds funny. He's never met a deaf person before... not until then. He's pretty sure he has a deaf cousin on his mother's side, but apparently she has some crazy implant that makes her hear. He's not sure...
But to be completely honest he feels like he's been punched in the throat.
"That bad, huh? At least he didn't hit you, though his friend looked like she was about to. That would have been fuckin' hilarious, bro. Are you done eating?"
Jensen just absently nodded. He had no idea why he felt so awful, why he felt so... blindsided by that.
"I... ya, man. I guess so."
Misha threw some cash on the table and grabbed his coat. "Hey, give me a sec. I'll be right back."
Jensen hardly paid attention until Misha was jogging away IN THE DIRECTION OF THE HOT GUY.
"Misha, n -- no... don't..."
Misha Collins can speak fuckin' sign language.
The guy laughed again, that weird hollow sound to his voice, and seemed to be instantly enamored with him. Jensen could fuckin' kill him. Hell, even that woman, his friend Genevieve, was laughing and chatting with him! What the fuck? It wasn't until Jensen saw the hot deaf guy hand over HIS FREAKING TELEPHONE NUMBER to Misha that he felt his damn blood boiling.
He grabbed his own coat, threw twenty bucks down and stormed out of the Chili's.
Today fuckin' blew.