Chapter Text
Crowley knew that the shadows mirrored him. He knew that it stayed between him and the grate. Now he just had to figure out how far away from the grate he could get it before he had an opening to run past. The shadows let loose a small rumble that sounded like a car about to speed up. It was most likely enact his plan now, or get bulldozed into next week.
He turned and ran away from the creature just as it charged, grabbing a rock sculpture and using it to swing and rocket himself towards the grate. The shadow crashed into the opposite wall. Crowley reached out a hand, the grate was just within his grasp- and then the creature grabbed his leg and pulled him to the ground. He righted himself just in time to turn and see it go back to its guarding position. It roared, and he didn’t waste any time in getting as far away from it as he could. Back pressing against the stones of the wall, he looked for another way out. Panting, the creature crept closer, a mouth appearing from the folds of its shadowy hide and drool dripping onto the floor. A serpentine tongue tasted the air. He pressed himself even further against the wall, eyes darting desperately around for an exit, a weapon, anything. The creature growled and snapped its sharp yellow teeth.
There was a light, bright enough that he squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, the creature was cowering in a corner. Aziraphale was giving it quite the telling off in a language that made his ears hurt.
“Angel?”
“Oh good, you’re all right. What on Earth are you doing down here?” Aziraphale asked, eyes full of concern and confusion.
“The bloody riddle door.” He grumbled, getting up.
“Ah yes.” He nodded as if this was a common occurrence. “You must have been really annoying, normally people are put in an oubliette with some friendly citizen.”
“Gee, thanks.” He snarked, wiping his dirty palms on his jeans.
“You’re welcome.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Look.” Crowley said. “I’m here for a snake, not a kid. You’ve already had to go out of your way and save my arse. Why don’t you just bring me to the castle, and we can wait out the hours, and then we can go our merry ways?”
“I can’t do that! It’s against practically every law of this place!” Aziraphale gasped angrily.
“Aren’t you the king of this place? Change the laws.”
“If I do it for you, I’ll have to do it for the next person, and the next, and the entire system will be ruined. I don’t even like you!”
“You do! Otherwise, how am I still alive?” He gestured at himself.
“Well, I won’t do that anymore. You’re on your own now, like you should have been from the start.” He said, crossing his arms and looking away.
“Aziraphale- it’s not even my snake!” He cried out desperately. He didn’t want to die here. He wanted to go to the castle, and wait out the hours, possibly drinking wine and talking to the hot (albeit tartan-wearing) angel.
“That doesn’t matter, Crowley.” He said sternly. “Make your own way through the Labyrinth, and I’ll see you at the castle.” Before Crowley could say anything, he’d snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Crowley growled in frustration. The worst part was that he knew Aziraphale was justified in his reasoning. It was his own fault that Crawly was gone, and he had to be responsible for it. He regretted some of the things he’d said, as if he was entitled to them. Of course he wasn’t! But was the entire Labyrinth going to be one big death trap with malicious doors?
A hiss slid out through his teeth as he manoeuvred through the grate and into a long, low tunnel. Hunched over to avoid hitting his head on the lumpy ceiling, he followed the faint hint of daylight. The tunnel had twists and turns, but no other branches, which made his escape from the oubliette much easier. Every now and then there was another hole in the roof to let in light.
Eventually, the light got bright enough that it signified the end. There was a final turn and then he ran into a courtyard, with a waist-high maze winding through it. There was no sign of the castle, or even an end to the maze, as it continued through a second puzzle of tall green hedges. He didn’t see the point of the waist-high maze, but he was rather tall.
The head of something scaly was bouncing along in the distance, occasionally revealing the flash of an eye as it looked for the way through. Its gaze landed on the lanky redhead.
“Hello.” He said. It started running away from him. “Hey, wait! Do you know how to get to the castle?!” Sprinting through the maze, it was harder than he thought to plan the route ahead. Then he realised he was being stupid and climbed on top of the halfwalls, gaining on the scaly creature. Or at least he was, until it opened a door in a slightly taller section of wall and passed through. Since it was right next to a turn in the hedge maze, he at first assumed the creature and turned the corner and ducked, but the door was unmistakably there. “What is it with doors in this place?” he groaned, and hurried to the opposite of the wall, only to not see the creature.
The door sat innocently. Temptingly. He walked back around to where the creature had gone through, ducked down, and studied it. Unlike the larger door, it was not wooden, and did not have any body parts attached to it. Instead, the blue plastic-y looking door, extremely out of place among the white and green, had a coin glued to it. Crowley nudged the door, and it swung slightly. He reached out again and gently pushed it open. Instead of the other side of the wall, it was a cave, in which the scaly creature was hurriedly sorting something. It hadn’t seemed to notice him yet. The door swung shut behind him and clicked. It looked up and yelped in alarm.
“How did you get in here?!” it yelled. On closer inspection, it looked like an anthropomorphic newt, with square glasses and a brown jacket. “Oh no, I didn’t close the door, did I? Don’t you dare eat me, I’m armed!” It brandished a pin, backing away slowly towards another door.
“Calm down, I’m not going to eat you.” He said quickly, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture. “I just want to get to the castle.”
“Oh. Well, I’m Newt.”
“Crowley.”
“But you’re not a crow?” It trailed off. “Oh. Castle. Human.”
“...yeah.” He said, somewhat concerned.
“Well, I have to be somewhere, but I can drop you off at the castle town on the way. You’ll have to make your own way into the castle from there.”
“That’s great. Thank you.” He sighed in relief. Newt adjusted its glasses and gestured for him to follow it through the second door. It froze just before it took a step out and turned. “My girlfriend says I’m too much of a pushover sometimes, so… can you pay me? I guess?” It squeaked. Crowley figured he could probably get away with saying no and giving it nothing, but it was only fair. He dug inside the tiny pocket of his jeans and pulled out a couple pennies, a glasses cloth for his sunglasses, and a used tissue. He offered Newt the glasses cloth.
“Will this do? To clean your glasses with?” He asked. The newt took the cloth and eyed it over.
“Oh… very nice. She’ll like this. Thanks. Ok, let’s go.” It said cheerfully, and continued through the doorway.
Inwardly congratulating himself, Crowley followed.
They walked through another maze, one with stone pillars, before they reached a forest just as the sun began to sink. “We can’t stop now.” Newt said. “We should be able to make it through before the sun completely sets. It’s more dangerous to camp than to keep moving.”
“Are you sure?” He said, looking into the shadowy forest with concern. If he was in the real world now, it would’ve been the perfect place to get murdered. It probably was the same down here, but with less chance of being reported to the authorities.
“Yep. Trust me.” Newt said, and without further ado walked into the forest. Crowley hesitated, eyeing the orange sky with concern. Then, lacking any better option, he followed Newt into the trees.
Each tree was tall, willowy, and alternated between shades of green and an odd kind of orange. The path snaked between them, sometimes dipping and sometimes rising, but always covered in squelchy mud and loose stones. It was even darker under the canopy than outside it, as the leaves blocked the last of the fading rays. As it got darker, the amount of pinpricks of light inside the undergrowth grew. He tried not to think about what they could have been.
Because Newt was smaller, quicker, and unconsciously trying to put as much danger between it and the human as possible, Crowley soon found himself falling behind. He didn’t want to attract the attention of the creatures in the forest, so he didn’t call out. However, he couldn’t deny that his stomach sank when the tip of its tail vanished from sight. He sped up, taking bigger strides. Sticks broke underneath his shoes but he didn’t want to walk slower, so he started walking faster, and faster, until he was running and Newt had appeared back in sight. It turned, having noticed his running.
“Shh!” It whispered frantically. “You’ll draw them to us!”
“Don’t leave me behind!” Crowley whispered back.
There was a crack behind them and they both froze. Newt slowly reached inside a jacket pocket and pulled out an apple. It put it in his hand.
The apple was red and shiny. It looked almost too good to be true. Almost as if he was possessed, he lifted it to his face. It smelled heavenly, and he couldn’t stop himself from drooling a little as he raised an eyebrow at Newt. Newt nodded at him, still glancing back over its shoulder.
“You’ll be safe if you eat that.” Newt whispered.
Juice ran down his chin as he took a bite of the crisp white flesh. It was delicious, and he was about to take another when his head whirled. He staggered.
“I’m sorry!” Newt wailed. “He has my girlfriend and he said if I just did this then he’d give her back!”
“Aziraphale…?” Crowley gasped, clutching his head. The apple fell to the ground. Bile rose in his throat when he saw a tiny black insect crawl out from it.
“Hastur!” It cried. “I’m sorry.”
He opened his mouth to ask who that was when the apples poison took over and he fell to the ground. Leaves and mud pressed into his face. A cool pressure to combat the burning sensation in his throat. His eyes closed. The last thing he noticed was that it was a little difficult to breathe.