Chapter Text
Crowley’d had a tough day at work and was absolutely knackered by the time he got home. Normally he would’ve gone straight to bed, but his good friend Tracy had launched her business today and he had promised to help her out.
That in itself would’ve been absolutely fine, Crowley was always willing to lend a helping hand to the few people he loved in his life, but Tracy hadn’t just started any business - she’d opened a sex hot line. And Crowley had promised to call in every evening for a whole week.
“I won’t charge you. It’s just to make sure we have good opening numbers,” Tracy had said and she’d sounded so desperate that Crowley had agreed.
Of course he had.
Even though he would never admit it out loud, he loved that weird older woman and would do anything he could to help her out.
Besides, it wasn’t like he had someone in his life to do this sort of thing with, and taking matters into his own hands had (truth be told) become somewhat uninspiring lately.
Maybe this would prove to be exactly what he needed: hot phone sex with a professional and no strings attached.
If only he didn’t feel so goddamn awkward about the whole thing.
He opened the Madame Tracy’s website, and was surprised to see that 7 out of the 10 available phone operators were already busy. One of which was Tracy. Crowley smiled to himself. He knew she’d do brilliantly.
Maybe, if the customers kept coming, she wouldn’t keep him to his promise of calling in every evening for the entire week.
Crowley scrolled mindlessly through the 3 available profiles. No names, only pictures. One woman, obviously a pass for him, and two men. Both men were gay, but apart from that they couldn’t have been more different. One was muscled, with a shaved head and tattoos all over his upper arms and neck. He wasn’t smiling on the photo but instead was looking dominantly into the camera with one eyebrow suggestively raised.
It didn’t do nothing for Crowley.
The other man was sweet-looking, Crowley might even go as far as to call him angelic, and if Crowley didn’t know Tracy, he would’ve believed that the photos were a facade, but he knew Tracy would never allow her employees to use someone else’s photos.
The man had curly blond hair, pale skin and a bright smile. The photo only showed him from his chest up, but his shoulders were broad and he looked impeccably strong.
He was by far the most beautiful man Crowley had ever seen.
Crowley didn’t even have to think about it. There was no competition. He dialed the number for the blonde angel.
The phone rang, and rang, and rang — and Crowley could feel his nerves spike with every beep he heard. His brain short-circuited, and he was about to hang up when he heard the sweetest, most kind voice he’d ever heard on the other end of the line.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. So sorry. I—I was — Oh, you don’t care about what I was doing. Sorry. Right. Really. My sincerest apologies.”
Crowley smiled to himself before sinking a little further into the couch cushions. “No, please, I’d love to hear what you were doing?
“Uh…” Crowley could practically hear the man swallow. “Well.. I-It’s really not that interesting but.. I-I was actually finishing a book.”
“What book?”
“Ehm…” A pause. “Fifty shades of grey?”
Crowley laughed. “Oh, come on, be honest with me here. What book were you reading?”
The man on the other end of the line was silent for a second, but just when Crowley started wondering if he’d taken it too far- he heard a soft chuckle.
“Alright, you got me. It was actually The Picture Of Dorian Grey.”
“Ah. Into the classics are you?”
“You could say that, yes.”
“First time reading it?”
“Oh no. Read it many times before actually.”
“Fan of Wilde then, are you?”
“Is there a gay man out there who isn’t?”
“I don’t know, but if there is I wouldn’t want to meet him,” Crowley said. “He sounds like a bore.”
Another chuckle and then, “Absolutely right my dear. So, what can I do for you this evening?”
Ah. Right. Crowley’s nerves spiked up again. Their friendly banter had made him forget that this wasn’t a normal conversation. He was supposed to have hot, steamy phone sex with this man. This man who not only looked but also sounded like an absolute angel.
“Can I ask you something first?”
“Sure.”
“Is that really your photo on the website?”
He heard a sigh and then, “Yes, why?”
“Nothing, I just—“
“Was hoping for something else?”
“What? No. I—“
“Look, if you just called me to let me know that sex workers are supposed to be fit and handsome then let me just—“
“What?” No. No. Of course I wasn’t— What?” Who the fuck told you that?”
The man sighed. “Two different people so far this evening.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Unfortunately not dear.”
“Fuck,” Crowley growled. “That’s terrible, I’m so sorry.”
“Hmm. So you were not about to say anything like that then?”
“No. No. Of course not. Are you kidding me, you look— Fuck, you look amazing. I—I was actually thinking that you look too sweet for a sex worker and—“ he stopped, groaned and raked a hand across his face, ready to slap himself. “Oh god. I’m as bad as the others. Saying you can’t— Fuck. I’m so sorry. I promise you that I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just— you have a sort of imagine in your mind, you know. And you look so different. Good different. Great different. You’re really beautiful — I…I actually thought you looked like an absolute angel when I first saw your pic, but yeah… oh my god, I’ll just stop talking. Feel free to hang up on me now.”
He groaned. Great. He’d ruined everything before they’d even gotten started.
But instead of the disconnected tone that Crowley expected, the man let out a soft giggle. “Well, thank you my dear. That’s very nice of you.”
“‘M not nice, just speaking the truth.”
“Whatever you say my dear,” the man chuckled, and Crowley couldn’t ignore the shot of electricity that ran through his body at the possessive pet name. “Now, will you tell me what I can do for you tonight?”
“Ehm.” Oh god. “I—I don’t really know.”
“You’ve never done this before?”
“Nope.”
“Oh,” the man said, and Crowley could’ve sworn the man sounded pleasantly surprised. “Well, can I start by asking you some questions?”
“Questions?”
“Nothing bad, just, what do you like? What turns you on?”
‘Oh, ehm.”
“Would you like me to be dominant of submissive? Do you want to be praised or humiliated? Any kinks I should know about?”
“Oh god.”
The man chuckled. “Let’s start simple, shall we. Why don’t you tell me what you normally like when you’re intimate with someone?”
“Just.. Ehm, normal stuff, I guess?”
“No crazy kinks then, got it.”
“Ehm, what—“ Crowley paused, feeling the skin of his cheeks heat up. Could he— was it weird to ask— “What do you like?”
“Me? Oh, gosh. No-one’s asked me that before. Well, I—I guess I quite like being the dominant one. Nothing too agressive, just, I like being in control.”
Crowley couldn’t help the soft moan that slipped from his lips. Just the idea of this soothing, soft voice telling him what to do— “Yeah. Yes,” he swallowed. “That’s good. I—I mean, I think I’d like that too. For you to be, that.”
“Ok. Good. Well, what about dirty talk then? Praise, humiliation or just vanilla?”
“I—I’ve never… uh, but I think… praise, maybe?”
“Alright,” the man on the other side said, his voice soft and understanding but not belittling. “How about I’ll try a few things and you tell me what you like?”
“Yes. Yeah. That sounds… okay.”
“Can you tell me where you are right now?”
‘I-I’m home. Living room. On the couch.”
“Is there anyone else there with you?
“What? No!” Crowley frowned. “You—You think I’d cheat on someone like this? What kind of a person do you think I—“
“Oh no. Relax darling. That wasn’t —I would never.. I was simply referring to a house mate or maybe parents or something. I— I don’t know your age, so… But, it’s good to know that I’m not an unwilling accomplice in a cheating scheme.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry, I—“ Crowley groaned. “I’m forty-one, by the way.”
The man chuckled. “Good to know darling. Now, judging from the way you reacted, I guess you’re home alone. So, why don’t you put me on speaker phone, please.”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now, I want you to lay the phone down, make yourself comfortable and tell me what you’re wearing.”
“A button-down shirt. Jeans and socks.”
“Good boy,” the man cooed and Crowley’s cock gave a twitch. Maybe he did have a praise kink after all. “Will you open those button on your shirt for me, darling? Slowly please. And keep talking to me, tell me what you’re doing.”
“Ah,” Crowley squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers fidgeting with the top buttons on his shirt. “I—I’ve already got the first few open… am… am opening the rest now. Slowly… L-Like you said.”
“Good boy.”
“Ngk.”
“Tell me, do you like it when I call you a good boy, darling? Do you want to be good for me?”
Crowley’s cock filled, his jeans getting uncomfortably tight.
“Y—yes”
“Wonderful,” the man breathed. “Now, why don’t you tell me how many buttons are open?”
“A-All of them,” Crowley breathed, as he flicked the last button loose. “Shall I— Shall I take my shirt off?”
“That won’t be necessary, my dear. Just let it hang open. Your jeans on the other hand… Why don’t you take those off for me?”
Oh thank god.
Crowley obeyed, wiggling his hips to push the tight denim down his legs. “Yes. Yes. They’re off.”
“Socks too?”
“Yes.”
“So it’s just you in your underwear and open button-down?”
“Y-Yes?”
“Are you hard, my dear?”
“Yes.” So fucking hard.
“Can I ask what kind of underwear you’re wearing?”
“Ah. Boxers. Calvin Klein’s. Black.”
The man on the other end of the line let out a soft growling sound that made Crowley’s cock jump. “That’s a very pleasant image, darling.”
“You—You don’t even know what I look like.”
“I don’t think you could be anything other than absolutely beautiful.”
“Ngk.”
“Now, I want you to close your eyes for me, pull your underwear down to your thighs and wrap your hand around your cock.”
“Fuck,” Crowley growled, thoroughly enjoying the sound of every dirty word that spilled from the angel’s lips. He wrapped his hand tightly around his already aching cock. “Yes. Yeah. I-I’m doing that.”
“Of course you are,” the man said, his voice nothing more than a soft drawl. “You’re being so good to me, aren’t you? So eager to please. Now, why don’t you tell me how it feels darling?”
“Ah… I-I’m hard…”
The man hummed.
“Very hard?” Fuck. Crowley squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassment dimming his arousal. He felt completely out of depths, utterly inadequate and couldn’t help but picture the man rolling his eyes, probably fully dressed and not the slightest bit aroused by Crowley’s stumbling.
“Come on my dear,” the man said, his voice a little deeper than previously - a little more stern. “I know you can do better than that for me. Tell me how your cock feels in your hand.”
“It—“ Crowley took a deep breath in, letting his fingers slide over the sensitive skin. “It feels good,” he whispered. “I-I’m so hard, but the skin is still soft and smooth and… uh, sensitive.”
“That’s it darling. Have you started fucking your hand yet?”
“No.. No. You-You didn’t say that I could—“
“Oh sweet boy,” the man praised. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone listen to me as well as you do. I’m really quite impressed, and so very grateful that you decided to call me tonight. I think you’ve deserved to fuck your hand, don’t you?”
“Yes. Yes”
“Off you pop then. Why don’t we start off nice and slow? Keep it tight. There we go, slow and steady. Swipe your thumb across the head for me? That’s it. There you go.”
Crowley growled, his hand finding a gentle rhythm up and down.
“Oh darling, you sound so good. Won’t you speed up a little for me now? Oh yes. I can hear the quickening in your breath. That’s right. So good, my dear boy. You’re an absolute treat.”
“Please.”
“Please what, darling? What is it that you’re begging for?”
“Please… Can I—“ Crowley tilted his head back against the pillows. Something in the back of his mind told him he should be embarrassed about begging to a total stranger, but he was too far gone to care. “Can I come? Please angel, let me come.”
“Angel? Oh my, that’s a lovely pet name you’ve got for me there,” the man said, practically purred. “Yes. Of course you can come, my sweet. You’ve been so good to me tonight. So perfect. You deserve it. Come for me darling, and let me hear you.”
And Crowley did, crying out as he spilled. White, thick spunk landing on his stomach and dripping down his sides.
As he was riding out his orgasmic wave he could hear the man mutter a soft, “fuck’, before the line went temporarily silent and all that could be heard was their breaths.
Crowley gave himself a second to catch his breath, eyes closed, body completely relaxed, before asking: “a-are you still there?”
“I am.”
“Oh,” he swallowed, suddenly self-conscious again. “Right. Well. That was… good.”
The man chuckled. “Indeed it was.”
“For you too?” For fucks sake, Crowley growled at himself. The man is doing this because he’s getting paid, you idiot. You don’t have to impress him.
But I want to.
He decided to ignore that unwelcome thought.
“Yes. Yes. I must say, it has been a long time since I’ve enjoyed myself quite this much.”
“Ah, good” He’s lying. He says this to everyone. “Well, I- I uhm… won’t hold you from your book any longer.”
The man on the other side chuckled. “Oh dear, I can honestly say that I forgot all about that. You— You’ve far more captivating than any book.”
“Ngk.”
“But I reckon I’ve taken more than enough of your money already, and I don’t want to put you out.”
“Nah. No… Don’t worry about that.” Tracy won’t bill me.
“Well…” He could hear the man fidget. “If you’re so generous as to five me a few more seconds of your time then… let me just say that I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. You were— You are a real treat, my boy.”
“Ah. Thank you. I—I enjoyed it too.”
“Maybe, I’ll speak to you again some—“
“Tomorrow?”
“Oh.” The man cleared his throat. “Oh. Yes. Yes. That would be lovely. I—I’ll be available.”
“Good. Great. Yeah— Looking forward to it.”
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
“Me too dear boy.”
“See you then, angel.”
“Til tomorrow, darling.”
The man hung up and Crowley spend the next few minutes looking up at the ceiling and listening to the beeping sounds of a disconnected phone.
Well that was… something.