Chapter Text
Chapter 26: 26 Candles
Nia Wilde, she worked as a cook for the Maybelle family in Sussex, with your father Burt Wilde formerly Banji Wilde, taken in by the Maybelle’s before you were born. Your mother was one of the maids at the estate and met your father one night when there was a garden party, one of the waiters had fallen ill meaning your mother would replace them, at first she was worried - she’d never really spoken to anyone outside of the family themselves, which of course was one of the only things she was used to. Until that night.
Your father was recooking the steak that had been sent back by a snooty party attendee and ordered her to see it get fixed. As she walked into the kitchen to collect, he was washing his hands at the sink, and that’s when they saw each other for the first time, it was love at first sight and they’ve been inseparable ever since.
Your sister was born first, 1 year later, Mr Maybelle the owner of the property upgraded your mum and dad to a better property on the land much to the disgrace of the other maids but he had a soft spot for your father as did his wife.
You were 8 years old when you realised the world looked at you differently. You accidently dropped a glass of water in the hallway of the home, resulting in one of the maids pulling you to one side and burning your hand with a spoon after running it under hot water. From then on you always drank your drinks at the table to avoid the same situation again.
You were 12 years old when you started to notice that something was wrong with your mother, she wasn’t up much and the housing maids were serving her which was strange. Had gone to Azaelia - who was 15 at the time; catering in the kitchen with the other maids, she was out of sorts, her head deeply buried in the dough of the muffins she was making that day.
You questioned her and she broke down immediately.
You were 12 years old when you found out your mother only had a few days to live, she was strong for the most part but you could tell it was wearing her down, she passed a necklace on to you and your sister to have and to hold forever and to never forget her. You were 13 when she passed away.
You were 16 when your father decided to leave for Scotland, Mister Maybelle had passed 2 months prior leaving the home to his children, who without hesitation washed their hands of you and your family advising they need the space for other ventures. Your father never had a strong relationship with you and your sister and it was disheartening when you realised he had made no plans for you and your sister to join him in Scotland but for you to venture alone, with not even a goodbye. You were outraged and rightly so, the man who promised your mother he would care for you betrayed her and washed his hands of you just as the Maybelle family had done.
You were 18 when your sister realised that she couldn’t provide for you on her own anymore so you went to look for work and became a cleaner at Averbrooke & Sons by the sea in Sussex, you were provided lodging with the job which your sister joined in on and thankfully things were smoother.
When you were 21 you saw an advert in the West Sussex Observer, looking for coloured people to work in the town of Saint Denis in the united states, you longed to go to america it was something you and your sister always spoke about from when you were young and this opportunity was just up your street.
A number of weeks passed before you packed up and left, setting sail on a boat to the land of so many opportunities…or so you thought.
You are 26 today, it’s your birthday and here you are in a tent in the south of America living your days as an outlaw, a killer, a monster. So much for that American dream.
A loud sigh left your lips as you stared at the ceiling, just hoping maybe today would be the day it would collapse on top of you and it would all be over. Unfortunately for you it wasn’t that easy. You managed to sit up after a while, realising that it’s probably best you start your day before you get a nag from Miss Grimshaw from the exit of your tent.
You walked out of your tent in your chemise and squinted feeling the rays of the morning sun burning your retinas, you sighed once again before walking towards the river, further and further away from camp so you could have some privacy and to relax in the cool water by the bay.
“Morning Miss Wilde!” you heard Mary-Beth say which made you smile, you were now dressed and holding your stew bowl served by Pearson, “Well good morning, Miss Gaskill. you sleep well?” your words filled with warmth, she smiled and took a sip of her stew, “very well thank you.” she responded, you sat down next to her by the box at her tent and carried devouring the stew.
“We were thinking of going off to the store today, you’re more than welcome to join us, Priscilla-” Mary-beth began before Karen let out a chuckle.
“More than welcome? She has to come!”, you looked at Karen with a sense of fear in your face.
“Karen, this place…it’s not like places we’ve been before.” your words held a sadness, causing Karen’ demeanour to shift.
“right…you’re right…I’m sorry I-I wasn’t think-”
“It's okay, don’t apologise…this place isn’t fun for me, it never was but I’m just happy to have you girls around me.” your hands rested on their shoulders giving them a little squeeze reassuring them of your thoughts and feelings.
You got up from the girls destination before making your way to the
“Happy Birthday!” the girls exclaimed, as you arrived at the saloon in Rhodes, they had eventually forced you to change your mind taking you into town to enjoy yourselves with some drinks, you smiled nervously as you began walking up to the door.
“No coloured allowed.” read loud and clear to the side of the door. You sighed before turning to the girls, “I told you it was a bad idea.” Karen and Mary-Beth’s faces were stricken with disgust and Karen turned to you and Tilly for a moment, “I’m sure they wouldn’t have a problem with two girls coming in, come on!” and they both grunted before pushing the doors open, your eyes widened at their sudden shift in attitude, you feared what would happen next so you looked over at Tilly who had the same expression as you, “Girls, please!” you whispered loudly, but they continued to walk right inside, your eyes rotated left and right before you walked inside the saloon, tilly following behind you, and just like that within a few moments everything stopped.
The music.
The chattering.
The games.
All eyes focused on you and Tilly.
You didn’t spend long inside there. In fact you were halfway back to camp with Tilly riding close behind you, the sweat that was developing from your body made you feel hotter as the curls of your hair were glued to your forehead from the sweat.
You were furious, you couldn’t believe that the girls would attempt to do something so stupid in the year you’ve known them. You reached outside of camp before stopping and bending forward onto Soren to catch your breath.
“What the fuck are they playing at?” you exclaimed in anger, Tilly shook her head as she began to catch her breath also, “I wish I could tell you Cilla.” you sighed, “I told them! I told them we cannot go in there and they refused to believe me! Trust me they can have fun there if you want to at least they’re allowed. Unlike us.” you admitted which made you feel rotten inside, the fire burned in your belly from the disrespect and it hurt, Tilly shrugged her shoulders, “It’s just how things are Cilla.” Tilly admitted sounding exhausted, you huffed before riding into camp.
The campfire light began appearing closer and closer before the call of Lenny filled your ears as you arrived. You trotted over to the hitching post and got off your horse, anger still eloped your body as you hitched her up.
You walked into camp, your body language showcasing your anger as you walked past Pearsons post, “Everything alright Miss Wilde?” you heard Charles ask as you walked by, you looked at him for the first time in weeks, your eyes filled with anger, “Perfect, just fucking dandy.” your voice held a coldness, causing Charles to look taken back by your response, Bill looked up at you from the ground by the fire at your response, along with Hosea.
You walked over to the fire, “How does it feel to know that you boys can just enter any saloon you want with no consequences? How does it feel to know that you don’t have to worry about someone potentially coming to stab you in the back? Or hunt you down.” you started.
The boys looked at each other before looking back at you.
“Where have you been? That’s what we’ve been doing these past few months?” Bill interjected and you looked at him.
“You know that ain’t what I mean…”, you noticed a shift in Hosea’s demeanour at your words.
“My whole life, I was told that I was different, all because of the colour of my skin, I couldn’t play with the kids, I couldn’t play with toys, I couldn’t even drink a glass of fucking water without being berated for just existing.” you spewed.
Your body - still shaking with rage.
“I’ve been spat on, kidnapped, assaulted and abused all because of this.” you exclaimed pointing at your skin.
“And I’m expected to just…not get mad, to not get upset, to obey orders and to be kept disciplined, well fuck you sir! FUCK YOU! I AM ANGRY!” you exclaimed tears began pouring down your cheeks as your voice broke.
The boys kept their eyes on you, Bill's eyes darted to the ground, you took a shaky deep breath, looking around at the boys for a moment before staring at the campfire.
“I am sick and tired of being treated like I shouldn’t exist, like I’m a burden, like we’re animals. I’m a human being, I have a heart that beats, I have lungs so I can breathe and I have a brain that teaches me all things that I know and learn, why can’t they learn and know how to treat people who are no different then them?” At that moment you felt a hand on your shoulder, you expected it to be Tilly’s but you turned to your left and was surprised to see Charles standing next to you, his eyes glossed over clearly moved by your outburst. You weren’t quite sure how to react until he pulled you in and hugged you tightly.
Without hesitation, you held him back and took a deep breath.
“Miss Wilde,” you heard, causing you to pull away slowly, Hosea was looking up at you his eyes teary, “I am so sorry about what you’ve experienced in your life, it’s not easy, I may not be able to relate or to fully understand, but I understand to a degree.” he stated before getting up, you looked at him and gave him a slow nod, he gave you a small smile before he wandered off to his tent not too far away from the campfire.
Charles still stood next to you, clearing his throat, causing you to look into his direction. As much as things had been difficult between you these last few months, you were grateful for his reassurance in that moment, “Thank you…for that.” awkward strains eloped your voice causing him to give you a small smile, “No problem, I appreciated your words, Unfortunately with these guys they can understand but only to a certain level of comprehension.” he said, you smiled sadly before crossing your arms, “Well, thank you again. I should be off to my tent now.” you admitted before walking away, “oh and Miss Wilde.” he called, causing you to turn around.
He smiled.
“Happy Birthday.”
You felt your chest jump, how did he know? You tilted your head at him and he chuckled, “I overheard the girls talking before you left. You kept that one quiet.” he said and you chuckled back, “Well…It’s not important I guess, well it isn’t to me.” you admitted a sadness filling your voice.
Charles didn’t pester you any further before you began walking to your tent. As you were walking you saw Karen and Mary-Beth hitching their horses at a fast pace, they looked at you and you avoided eye contact immediately.
“Priscilla wait!” Karen exclaimed.
You began to walk faster before you bumped into someone, you looked up and saw Dutch who had a look of concern on his face, “Miss Wilde…what’s going on?” he asked, you closed your eyes for a moment before opening them, “Dutch can I please get to my tent?” you asked nervously, “I asked you a question, what’s happening?” he asked, sounding more stern this time.
Dutch’s interruption provided time for Karen and Mary-beth to catch up with you, “It’s nothing, I just-I-” you couldn’t even get the words out, “It’s Priscilla’s birthday Dutch, we wanted to do something nice by taking her out.” you closed your eyes and put your head in your hands, “Birthday??” Dutch exclaimed, you could hear the shock in his voice, “W-Miss why didn’t you tell us?” he began and you huffed, pushing past them, and walking towards your tent.
As you got closer to notice Arthur leaning against the hitching post outside of his camp watching you as you walked by, “What you got something to say too?” you questioned and he raised an eyebrow at you, “Didn’t say a word.” he said before shrugging his shoulders, “didn’t have to.” you grumbled before closing your doors, you heard him chuckle which irritated you more.
Suddenly you saw red.
You don’t know what happened.
All you know is that Tilly was holding you in her arms gently stroking your hair.
What happened?
You looked up to see Arthur, Dutch, Karen and Mary-beth standing at the doorway of your tent, your eyes looking at them confused, “W-what?” you questioned, you looked down and noticed your room was trashed, clothes everywhere and your glass that you use for water…broken.
“What happened?” your eyes squinted in confusion, “shhhh, it’s okay.” Tilly said and you shook your head, “No, why is my room like this? What?? What happened?” you were beginning to become more aware.
Tilly looked at you confused for a moment, “You don’t remember?” she asked and you shook your head, “I came in here and-and-”.
You trashed your room.
The images of the last few months running through your head.
Arthur.
Charles.
Mulberry.
Blackwater.
Micah.
Jenny.
You looked up at the gang, embarrassment shed on your face, “I’m sorry everyone. I’m so-” before you could continue, Dutch came over to you and rested his hand on your shoulder, “It’s alright miss, you’ve-we’ve ALL had a rough time of it and it can make us a little crazy. Take as much rest as you need.” he stated and you gave him a small nod in response, Arthur had a sense of worry in his eyes as he looked at you, “Tilly, stay with her and make sure she’s okay.” Arthur said, your eyes stayed on him as did his on yours. For the first time in a few weeks you sensed a warmth within them before he turned away and left the tent.
Karen walked over from the doorway and began helping with repairing your room, you were silent as you sat on the floor staring at the broken glass in the corner, your eyes going back and forth to each shard.
It was about 20 minutes later when most of your stuff had been restored, the girls had been silent pretty much that entire time only talking to decide where to go next.
“Girls.” you began causing them to stop what they were doing. You took a deep breath before turning towards them, they had begun sitting down next to you.
“What is it?” Mary-Beth asked, concern etched on her expression, you looked at the three of them, your stomach in knots, you hated being vulnerable but after tonight, these blacking out episodes need to stop.
“I’m sorry for snapping earlier, I really am,” you started, the girls waiting patiently for you to speak, “I know that you were just trying to make this day special,” they gave you a small smile, “No Priscilla, we should be the ones apologising to both you and Tilly, it was incredibly inconsiderate of us to even think it was to take you into town, to the saloon.” Mary-beth began, you listened as she spoke giving her the time she needed to address herself, “I assumed that was for the men, which isn’t good to think about neither, I’m very sorry too. We’ll keep you both safe, all of us no matter the cost.” Karen said as she rested her hand on your lap, you rested your hand on her, accepting her grip and smiled.
You took a deep breath before looking at the girls, “I need to tell you guys something and it’s really hard for me to say but it will probably clear some things up.” you stated which caused them to lean further forward. You took a deep breath.
“My mother passed away on my birthday.” and finally that knot began to untie in your stomach.
The girls' expressions showcased sadness and you looked at them giving them a small smile, “Ever since then, my life has just been the absolute worst.”, you admitted sadly, this day always brought out the worst in you.
When you arrived in Saint Denis it was your birthday and you killed a man.
Your father left on the anniversary of your mothers death.
You have a lot to deal with on this day and you just thought if nothing was said or that if nothing was mentioned you could avoid just one more bad day but you blacked out again.
“Priscilla, I’m so sorry.” Karen said, her voice held a genuine sense of sympathy behind it which even though you hated the feeling, you felt it was warranted for now. “We are here for you if you need anything and even though you don’t like celebrating today, you’re a year older now and that is something special, ageing is a beautiful thing.” You looked at Tilly and smiled at her words.
“I just wish I saw it that way.”, you crossed your arms over your knees, as you felt tears well up in your eyes.
“We should probably leave you to rest now…unless you want us to stay here tonight.” Karen said and you looked up at them, “I think I’d like to be alone tonight but thank you all for staying with me, it means a lot.” the girls smiled before moving towards you and giving you tight hugs which made you feel a sense of warmth.
It didn’t take long before the girls eventually left, leaving you alone. Your body ached as you rose from the ground and made your way over to your bed, you began taking off your clothes leaving yourself in your chemise before you pulled your sheets back, you got into bed and took a deep sigh before resting your head on the pillow.
You felt something hard underneath your pillow as you rested your head down, you lifted it back and turned over to lift your pillow, you gasped at the sight.
There laid underneath your sheets, a music box, you opened it up there was a dial to the side, you grabbed the handle and began to wind it and within moments music began to ring through it. You couldn’t necessarily pinpoint the song that was playing, but it was beautiful.
There was a note inside, you pulled it out and turned it over.
“Happy Birthday Priscilla, hope you like it.”
Huh?
You turned the note over again - no name had been attached, you looked at the box as the music continued to ring around the room.
The lid of the box held a woman standing with her two children. You smiled looking at them, they looked loved just like how you were. And suddenly the tears fell down your cheeks.
You laid down next to the music box as it began to play by itself, you stared at the photo of the mother and her two daughters before holding the necklace that was graced upon your neck. You closed your eyes and felt yourself gently falling asleep, thus ending your birthday and the beginning of your year of being 26 years old.
The next morning you awoke, you turned over and saw that the music box was resting next to you so you closed it. Once again it was another hot and humid day in the state of lemoyne. You sighed for a moment sitting up and stretching, you began fixing your chemise that had fallen down during the night and removed the sleep from your eyes.
Suddenly, you heard a cough outside your tent, you now sighed, annoyed by your peace being interrupted.
“Miss Wilde?” you heard from behind the curtain, you felt a sense of relief wash over you and smiled knowing it was Abigail was standing there, “Yes?” you responded, “Are you decent?” she asked and you chuckled, “Yes, come in.”
You fixed your hair wrap as you looked towards the entrance but was completely blindsided.
When the curtains opened, it revealed Abigail, and the rest of the gang following behind her as she held a cake at her chest walking inside, it displayed candles and was lit and before long the gang began to sing happy birthday to you, your eyes shoot open fully with surprise and a warm feeling invaded your body as they entered.
Jack the little rascal ran over to you resting his head on your shoulder as Abigail brought over the cake, you laughed before wrapping your arm around him as they continued to sing.
The cake was glorious, it was a sponge cake made by Pearson himself.
“Make a wish!” Jack exclaimed, making you laugh, you looked down at the cake and looked up at the gang for a moment, seeing these incredible group of people in front of you after everything that had happened the night prior in support of you meant everything.
You took a breath before looking at Jack, “wanna blow them out together?” You asked and he nodded his head excitedly, “okay,”
3
2
1
Blow.
Everyone began to applaud as you and Jack blew the candles out, you looked up at everyone and smiled.
You saw Arthur who had a smile on his face for the first time in weeks as he looked at you, you gave him a small smile back before running your fingers through Jack's hair, “this is one of the greatest things anyone has ever done for me so…thank you all so much.” You said softly, Abigail bent down and gave you a hug and you hugged back tightly, you felt the tears well up in your eyes again but you refused to let them fall.
This was why you loved this gang, the bond was strong and you couldn’t imagine being without it especially after these last few months. You only hoped for a better future for the rest of them and that you get the hell out of here.
You just had to have faith.