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Chapter Text

“Oh hello, Feng Xin, Mu Qing? What are you two doing here?” Xie Lian looked at his two best friends shocked. Well, his former best friends anyway, he doubts the two of them are ready to rebuild that relationship, considering for the last few weeks since he’s been a god, they’ve been using their disguises to make sure he is safe. This is why it surprised him that they were here as Feng Xin and Mu Qing and not as Nan Fang and Fu Yao. Feng Xin wore plain armour like he did back in Xianle, but that still had the essence of godhood judging by the intricate crochet of gold on his robes, his hair in a normal bun but not with his usual headdress that he wears in heaven. Meanwhile Mu Qing wore a robe that makes him look like an esteemed scholar, the navy blue over robe on top of a dark purple underrobe looked very fitting on Mu Qing. He truly did look more like a scholar god than a martial god.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing ‘subtly’ looked over Xie Lian’s shoulder into the decrepit shrine he called home, obviously searching for a ghost in red. Unfortunately, since the incident at Qi Rong’s cave and the Lantern Festival, Xie Lian hasn’t heard a single thing from Hua Cheng. It saddened him a bit as he has gotten so used to the happy feeling in his chest around Hua Cheng, that he misses it when the ghost wasn’t around. Though when they found nothing, they just sighed, sparing a final glare at Qi Rong that was tied to the tree outside while Lang Ying and Guzi played around him, before stepping inside. 

“Emperor Jun Wu sent us. It is apparently urgent. Some vengeful spirits were spotted on the outskirts of what was once Yong’An,” Feng Xin gave a quick summary as Xie Lian stepped into the shrine nodding along. “Isn’t that Lang Qianqiu’s territory?” Xie Lian looked at them confused even as the name sent shivers down his spine, causing his hand to cramp and clench up. “It is, but Lang Qianqiu is busy with other matters. According to the Emperor the vengeful spirits have been haunting a relatively new town for the past few decades, not causing any real damage but causing a lot of people to be scared and causing the villagers to send regular prayers. Apparently, it was the last place where… Bai Wuxiang was seen before Emperor Jun Wu killed him. A man clad in black was killed in the incident by the souls dispersing him. A few souls remained afterwards that were never dealt with and since they used to be Xianle soldiers, Jun Wu found it appropriate that we deal with it,” Mu Qing explained further not realizing how Xie Lian froze at the mention of the warrior in black…

Wu Ming…

He hadn’t even thought of him for years… or at least he tried not to. The smiling mask still haunts his dreams. His mission to find Wu Ming’s beloved after his death also haunts his dreams. The youth followed him without a thought and now… what was left of him? Of his legacy? Xie Lian quickly felt a sense of nausea, making it a struggle to breath. If he went on this mission which it seems he must, he will not survive without having at least one breakdown. He quickly excused himself as Feng Xin started to draw the teleportation array and Mu Qing making comments on how terrible it was. He doubted the two really noticed his disappearance as he went outside into the ‘backyard’ he had. 

He sat on the swing San Lang made him before he left for ghost city, he did it because of a fleeting conversation while traveling in Banyue when Xie Lian had mentioned that he loved swings. He sat on it and let himself swing as he thought about what this mission entails. He thought of having to come face to face with the souls of those who once loved and idolized him but… now all they were in Xie Lian’s eyes were the spirits who took his last believer away. Xie Lian stopped lazily swinging and hugged himself close to somehow relax. He let out a shaky sigh as he closed his eyes imagining the black clad youth who gave him flowers and knelt so respectfully in front of him like he was the only god worth worshipping. How the mask covered what Xie Lian always imagined was a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes with admiration making it sparkle. Xie Lian grits his teeth as he felt his throat constricting, a burning sensation filling his airway… 

Wu Ming deserved better…

Suddenly he was brought back to reality when he felt Ruoye untangling himself from his wrist and holding out a pair of beautiful red dice. Hua Cheng… If Hua Cheng came along, it lowers the chances of Xie Lian having a breakdown every few minutes so maybe it was worth it. But judging by the lack of communication from the ghost king, it was clear he was very busy. This wasn’t a life-or-death situation… Xie Lian in his own eyes didn’t deserve that comfort. He should feel the same shame and guilt that Wu Ming felt… He doesn’t deserve Hua Cheng spoiling him like a princess but… 

It would feel nice…

And so, Xie Lian gave in to Ruoye, who kept tapping him, and rolled the dice… a few times. On his third attempt of throwing, which of course he got snake eyes, a youth appeared in front of him. San Lang this time around wore as always beautifully embroidered clothes making Xie Lian’s heart skip a beat. He wore a simple black robe with beautiful embroidery of red roses decorating the sleeves all the way to his shoulders and at the bottom of the robe. His hair was done surprisingly in a neat and long black ponytail, save for the red pearl and braid that was part of his loose hair at the front. Xie Lian felt a sense of déjà vu seeing the black, remembering the black clad youth. He felt his heart clench, but he simply smiled and stood up from the swing. “San Lang, you came!”

“Of course, I did Gege, it was the first time you called me using the dice? Is something wrong?” Hua Cheng sounded just as confused as he looked making Xie Lian laugh a bit. He did not realize his hands were still shaking till Hua Cheng gently took them in his own, softly smoothing out all the joints making his hands stop trembling. “It’s really stupid, I am sorry for calling San Lang like this. It’s just… I am struggling a bit trying to stay calm and I wanted San Lang here to keep me calm,” Xie Lian rambled, not caring that Hua Cheng was still holding his hands and could hear his voice cracking. 

Hua Cheng looked at him shocked as many emotions swirled around in his eyes, confusion, flattery, shock but most importantly worry. “Gege, I told you that you can call me anytime and I’d be here for you… no matter what the situation might be. Now tell me what is going on,” Hua Cheng spoke earnestly but also… reassuringly. His hands trailed up and now held Xie Lian’s elbows so the god can rest his full weight on the ghost. Xie Lian finally felt like he could breathe again before shaking his head.

"I can’t…tell San Lang everything yet… one day yes… but not now… Let’s just say I am going to a place that holds a lot of bad memories, because Emperor Jun Wu gave us a direct mission,” Xie Lian explained, not willing to tell San Lang about his past as the White-clothed Calamity. He doesn’t want Hua Cheng to hate him… or look down upon him or be disgusted by his past. For now, this was enough information for San Lang to know what is going on. Immediately Hua Cheng pulled a face making Xie Lian smile, Hua Cheng really is true with his emotions if you look for it. “Screw him, if you feel uncomfortable then let the other two go,” San Lang snarled making Xie Lian smile. Of course, the ever-brilliant Hua Cheng knew Feng Xin and Mu Qing were also involved. “I can’t do that San Lang, that will just be mean. Besides, Jun Wu wanted me to go so I’ll go. I just wanted you with me,” Xie Lian blurted out before he could stop himself. Yet Hua Cheng only smiled and slowly let go of him,” Okay then let’s go.”

After exchanging pleasantries inside of the temple (Mu Qing and Hua Cheng politely smiling at each other meanwhile they were also glaring at one another, as well as Feng Xin asking Xie Lian if he was sure he’d like to bring that ghost with him) they entered the teleportation array. Luckily with Hua Cheng’s help this time around it only took them an hour or two to get where they were needed. Of course, Xie Lian left Lang ying and Guzi with someone in the village, so they didn’t have to worry about time as long as this didn’t last more than two days. The quartet walked through the forest while in search for any sign of the village. They soon found a path lit by lanterns leading to what looked like a temple, yet in front of the temple there was an odd-looking stone that didn’t match the rest of the scenery.

The 4 of them decide it was best to check it out, yet as they approached there was no sense of a bad aura meaning it was safe. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian knelt in front of stone as Mu Qing and Feng Xin entered the temple expecting it to be a temple dedicated to Lang Qianqiu. Xie Lian didn’t have to light a palm torch as the lanterns cast off enough light for the stone to be read properly, but still Xie Lian froze as he saw the writing, recognizing it immediately as his own. Yet before he could stop Hua Cheng from reading the stone, he started reading it aloud.

"Wu Ming, the most caring and loyal person there was, may he finally find peace and enjoy a long afterlife with his beloved,” Hua Cheng read word for word making Xie Lian feel a sense of guilt and strange enough longing to see Wu Ming again. His mannerisms, his loyalty, his kindness, and gentleness has been long forgotten by Xie Lian, as much as he hates to admit this. And now Hua Cheng even looked shocked and almost upset to see the stone. Xie Lian felt tears well up in his eyes as he remembered spending the entire night after building it, talking to it (He probably talked more to the gravestone than Wu Ming himself). He remembers how he clung to stone like a lifeline, dirtying his clothes so much it took multiple washes to get all the stains off. He remembers his promise to come see him every year on the day of his death to tell him what happened… yet he never came back.

“Hey, come look at this! It’s not a statue of Lang Qianqiu, but of someone else,” Mu Qing shouted making both him and Hua Cheng look up at the temple. Hua Cheng stood up and helped Xie Lian up. Xie Lian felt a sense of dread fill his chest making him clutch onto Hua Cheng’s helping hands. It seems finally Hua Cheng connected the dots and was about to ask questions but was stopped when Feng Xin shouted in return, “Crimson Rain, look at this. I don’t recognize this god, so you’ll maybe know.” 

Hua Cheng was just going to ignore him, but Xie Lian urged him into going to see the temple first. Once both of them were inside they immediately looked at the life like statue. It was a statue of a youth, clad in inexpensive black robes, holding a sword positioned right at his neck (as if symbolic for something). Xie Lian froze when he looked further up, it was a statue of Wu Ming. Of course, he would recognize the smiling mask and long black hair of his companion! Xie Lian covered his mouth subtly, pretending like he was thinking but actually he just tried to shield the fact that he was swallowing and letting out shaky breaths. Oh, how he just wanted to walk onto the alter and hug this statue, letting out all the tears and guilt he felt for letting this innocent man die… It was all his fault after all, Wu Ming died for him, a god who treated him like a stain on the Earth. 

“Don’t know, though if he is covering his face then he must really be ugly,” surprisingly this comment didn’t come from Mu Qing but from Hua Cheng. Xie Lian looked at the Ghost King shocked at the words and even more so at the genuine anger in Hua Cheng’s eyes, like he would crush the statue in any second. A sudden fury fired in Xie Lian’s chest making him glare at his three friends. “He is Wu Ming, the person who died to stop the souls from tearing the White-clothed Calamity apart. He was loyal to the end and died for what he believed was right. We have no right to make such comments about him here,” Xie Lian spoke in such a stern and serious tone that any further comments were destroyed. 

Xie Lian walked to the alter searching his person, finding some fresh food the villagers gave him. He smiled and placed them on the offering table before taking two incense sticks. He burned them each, kneeling down and showing his respect to Wu Ming, letting the incense sticks burn before placing them in the incense burner. The temple was silent as Xie Lian paid his respects, Feng Xin and Mu Qing looked at each other confused before bowing their heads to the statue, leaving the temple. Hua Cheng stayed but he looked at the statue almost in… hatred. Pure hatred. Xie Lian stood up and walked over to Hua Cheng sparing the statue a final look. Why did Hua Cheng look like he hated Wu Ming? *Did something happen between them?*

As the three of them followed the path lit by lanterns, Hua Cheng slowed his pace, walking behind the group as if thinking about something. This confused Xie Lian greatly. He slowed his pace once Mu Qing and Feng Xin were busy with another one of their fights. “San Lang, is something the matter?” Xie Lian asked concerned as he looked at the youth next to him. “Why did gege kneel to the statue? It isn’t a god worth noting, it isn’t even a god. The statue was a memorial statue which is odd to kneel to,” Hua Cheng explained his confusion and finally Xie Lian clicked what was going on. Hua Cheng found it weird that a god was kneeling to a simple human statue. “Well, I- “Xie Lian was about to start before suddenly shouting could be heard. 

“Entry to Wu Ming city! One mask to get into the city! Masks could be bought here!”

Xie Lian felt his blood run cold… 

Everyone was wearing the smiling mask! 

Xie Lian held onto the closest thing he can find, which just so happened to be Hua Cheng’s hand. This surprised the ghost till he realized the masks everyone wore which made him considerably pale too. The four made their way to the stand that sold the mask and quickly bought the masks. The shopkeeper handed Mu Qing, Feng Xin, and Hua Cheng the all-smiling mask but when he turned to give Xie Lian one, his hand hesitated. “Young master, you sure fit this mask better,” the shopkeeper handed him the half smiling and half crying mask making Xie Lian’s hand twitch. Feng Xin noticed (Mu Qing and Hua Cheng too busy with their bickering as they ‘helped’ each other tie the mask to their face) and grabbed the mask, telling Mu Qing to pay before dragging Xie Lian away.

“Your highness, if you’d like, I’d take that mask and you can get the all-smiling mask,” Feng Xin uttered in a whisper holding up the two masks. Xie Lian smiled at his former guard and took the one he was given, White no face’s mask… his own mask at one point… “It’s alright Feng Xin, just tie it to the side of my head and I’ll do the same for you,” Xie Lian offered instead and after getting a suspicious look from Feng Xin, he finally agreed. After tying both their masks they returned to the other two. Mu Qing looked… well like Mu Qing, the mask did almost nothing for him. But Hua Cheng…

Xie Lian felt his heart stop as he looked at Hua Cheng. His red embroidery was basically non-existent in the darkness making it appear like he was wearing all black. The mask fit his face perfectly and although it covered his features, Xie Lian was sure a smile was hidden as well. His inky black hair moved in the wind just like Wu Ming’s did… Hua Cheng felt like the true epitome of Wu Ming and thus when they stepped into the city, he immediately got everyone’s attention causing a group of people to surround him, leaving him trapped. He truly was the image of Wu Ming, making Xie Lian’s heart clench a bit. 

Feng Xin and Mu Qing quickly realized that they weren’t going to get out of this soon so instead both of them went to gather all of the ghosts so Hua Cheng and Xie Lian can just disperse them after they were done. Xie Lian stayed behind and stood outside of the group surrounding Hua Cheng and just watched everything with a smile painting his lips. Hua Cheng looked so lost as he continued to listen to everyone’s praises. Xie Lian was just happy that Wu Ming seemed to be remembered in a good light, someone worthy of praise. I wish Wu Ming was here to see all this…

Suddenly someone approached Xie Lian. He got a dirty look from this person before getting a reminder to come see the show based off of Wu Ming’s life later this evening. Xie Lian was shocked by this but smiled, wanting to see how accurate the show was so he agreed. He quickly moved to Hua Cheng and immediately got dirty looks from people for his choice of costume. Hua Cheng gave everyone a glare and moved away from the crowd, holding Xie Lian’s hand as they walked peacefully and talked. It felt a lot like a date. 

“There is a show about Wu Ming’s life later. Can you come with me to go see it?” Xie Lian asked as Hua Cheng bought him glazed strawberries on a stick. Hua Cheng looked at Xie Lian shocked but soon nodded in agreement with a small hum showing he agreed. He has been awfully silent since Xie Lian kneeled to that statue of Wu Ming. Xie Lian could see Hua Cheng seemed offended by the fact Xie Lian kneeled to the statue making Xie Lian’s heart flutter out of flattery, but he was also confused.

“San Lang, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything gege desires”

“Why are you- “At this point they were in a secluded part of the woods around the village as they both ate their food, when suddenly as Xie Lian was speaking a woosh sounded from in between them and almost immediately Xie Lian felt a burning pain on his side. He stopped walking and looked at his side where a gash was clearly forming, creating a huge stain of blood on his white clothes… 

Oh… That was just cruel… A vengeful spirit did this, one that they were supposed to be catching. The spirit most likely wounded Xie Lian because he looked like the White-clothed Calamity. Hua Cheng noticed Xie Lian pause and looked back curiously. Once he saw the slash on his side, he immediately rushed to Xie Lian’s side, a few of his butterflies appearing around Xie Lian. Xie Lian was confused as to why they were here, but soon as the butterflies perched on his wound and dissipated, he realized they were healing him. Hua Cheng looked at Xie Lian, concerned that he was still hurt. Although Xie Lian could only see Hua Cheng’s eyes, that was enough. He smiled and gently smoothed Hua Cheng’s hair. “I am okay San Lang, it was just a slash,” Xie Lian reassured making Hua Cheng sigh and shake his head, “Gege...”

“Hey, we found them all but now they are being guarded by Hua Cheng’s butterflies,” Mu Qing shouted as he approached the two. Hua Cheng rolled his eyes making Xie Lian smile and turn to the other god. “Let me quickly disperse them then- “Xie Lian was about to explain to Mu Qing when Hua Cheng shook his head. “There is no need for Your Highness to deal with them. I already called for my subordinate to come pick them up,” Hua Cheng quickly reassured still making sure that the god was okay. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he saw Mu Qing roll his eyes. 

Once they found Feng Xin who was still guarding the spirits, they all went back to the village. The streets were oddly silent making Xie Lian curious as to why? Oh! The show. He quickly rushed the 3 of them as they managed to get a spot in the standing crowd. Xie Lian was standing between Hua Cheng and Mu Qing, while Feng Xin stood on the other side of Mu Qing. This seemed to work as Xie Lian watched the stage in both excitement and nervousness… he didn’t know why but he felt off. It seemed Hua Cheng felt the same and started to gently hold Xie Lian’s hand for comfort. The ghost king was now much more comfortable with touch, and it made Xie Lian feel a lot better. He leaned his head on his companion’s shoulder. 

The play started off very normal, ‘Xie Lian’ (or as Mu Qing and Feng Xin thought, ‘white no face’) was busy collecting vengeful spirits using Fang Xin, when a soldier dressed in black with a smiling mask approached him. Xie Lian got himself ready to see the soldier kneel, but he never did. Instead, the ghost asked the being in white where they were, clearly confused and lost as if looking for someone. This was just one mistake, right? 

No. As immediately when the character in white turned around, his voice was accusing, mean and manipulative. Xie Lian felt his heart sink to his stomach as he looked around knowing the mean voice was exactly how he treated the black-clad soldier. The crowd gasped as if this was a new show to them, Mu Qing and Feng Xin nodded showing they agreed with everyone’s statements, but Hua Cheng’s reaction was the most surprising. He almost looked offended and confused as he stared at the scene. Wu Ming was granted his name which was done much more cruelly than Xie Lian remembers, but he agrees now, it was cruel to just name his companion, nameless. Hua Cheng looked offended and upset as he looked at the scene, as if seeing the character in white physically disgusted him. Xie Lian looked away. He was right… If he ever tells Hua Cheng he was the person in white, the ghost king would surely hate him. Mu Qing kept making comments to Xie Lian searching for the past prince’s approval. Hua Cheng looked about ready to punch Mu Qing. But Xie Lian just focused on the show.

Because he knew. He knew he was this mean. Up until this point, except for all the manipulating to get the black-clad youth to commit genocide, (the youth did that willingly because Xie Lian asked him to) everything that happened was fact. He did treat Wu Ming like a stain on the universe, he did shout at the soldier and crush all of Wu Ming’s kindness, he did in the end use him, so he didn’t get his own hands dirty. He was the monster in this story… There is nothing he could say to justify what he did…

Yet finally a happy moment came on the stage. At least, it was a happy memory now. When this happened, he didn’t see it as significant at all, but now every time he remembers this, he just hopes someone will love him as much as this, even though he knows it is like hoping for rain in the dessert. This scene depicted the time when Wu Ming told him about his reason for living… his beloved…

~FLASHBACK~ 

It was like any other day for the two of them, finding shelter in one of the many abandoned buildings they find along the way. Though this time, it wasn’t as tense as it usually was between them, it was actually quite nice. Xie Lian was looking at Wu Ming as he prepared them stew (the rice was a ‘gift’ from someone, and the meat was from a rabbit that Wu Ming hunted an hour or two ago). Wu Ming never took off his mask, but somehow Xie Lian knew the teenager had a content smile on his face. Xie Lian tilted his head curiously. Why was this man following him? Why hadn't he moved on to the afterlife? He never seemed angry or vengeful?

“Why are you still roaming this world? You don’t seem vengeful like the rest of the spirits” Xie Lian finally asked making Wu Ming freeze up a bit, before continuing to stir the stew. “I have a beloved who I want to protect and avenge, your Highness,” Wu Ming stated calmly, and Xie Lian was quite surprised by this. A beloved? He never expected Wu Ming to be a romantic person, especially considering the man didn’t even seem to remember his own name, let alone a lover. “A beloved? Why do you insist on following me around then? Won’t your beloved get jealous?” Xie Lian asked when finally, his jumbled thoughts seemed to make sense. For once it seemed like they were having a nice conversation.

“Ah it is rather hard to explain. Your Highness shouldn’t bother himself with my feelings,” Wu Ming stated and there was an edge of nervousness and embarrassment in his tone. This just made Xie Lian even more curious. “It’s not like we have anything better to do. Besides if I am expecting you to follow me to the end, I want to get to know you,” Xie Lian explained with a firm tone as he leaned against the wall watching his faithful servant. Wu Ming seemed shocked by this before looking back at the fire and pot. “My beloved and I rarely spoke. I doubt they really remember me or love me for that matter,” Wu Ming spoke with such certainty it almost made Xie Lian pity him. But this notion just confused him.

“Why love this person, even stay on Earth for a person who doesn’t love or know you? If they didn’t love you as a human, how could they love you as a spirit?” Xie Lian asked in a confused manner (Later he would come to regret how he phrased this statement). “To be honest Your Highness… I don’t care if this person hates me with every sense of the word,” Wu Ming stated with a sense of determination and truth, that made Xie Lian lean back in shock. He expected the ghost to be done, but then Wu Ming continued. “This person saw me at my worst and still treated me like a precious item. This person is beautiful and kept me from killing myself much earlier than my intended time. They are my meaning for living further and still fighting. They are brave and would do anything for the people they care about. They are the only thing that matters to me in this life and every life that follows. If their wish is to hate me, to treat me like a stain on the universe then so be it, I would just be lucky to be in their presence. For them to feel anything for me is a blessing, even if it is hatred,” Wu Ming ranted with love and admiration clear in his voice, truly meaning each word he said.

The rant took Xie Lian’s breath away and it took him a while to realize he was even crying a bit. He found his heart ache for the ghost in front of him. He finds himself wishing that he could be loved like Wu Ming’s lover was. He stood up causing Wu Ming to look up at him surprised. Even though the mask still covered his face it was clear he snapped out of his previous state of infatuation. “Oh, I ranted a lot, didn’t I? I’ll stop if Your Highness wishes it,” Wu Ming suddenly spoke, bowing to Xie Lian. But instead of Xie Lian walking away like he intended, he found himself kneeling in front of Wu Ming and bringing him into a soft hug. Xie Lian could feel Wu Ming freeze and swallow his words before gently returning Xie Lian’s hug, smoothing his back very hesitantly.

“Don’t you dare give up on your lover, fight for their love until they return it, if you need time to go see them, just ask okay?” Xie Lian spoke seriously, feeling his tears roll down his cheeks. He felt Wu Ming hug him tighter before letting out a soft laugh. The sound filled Xie Lian’s heart with warmth making him almost wish he was this beloved that Wu Ming described, but he knew he wasn’t worth all that praise, or any praise for that matter. “As you wish, Your Highness,” Wu Ming finally responded staying stable as Xie Lian’s body rested against his. He hasn’t been held in such a long time, it felt nice. He found himself drifting to sleep and he just let it overtake him as he felt Wu Ming rock him back and forth like you would a baby. It was the first time he felt good again (And later he realizes it was the last time in 800 years he felt such comfort)

~FLASHBACK END~

Xie Lian was brought out of his memories when he felt Hua Cheng’s hand tighten around his own. Oh…oh this was not how it happened…

According to Feng Xin, who later explained it to him, apparently it started off normal or as he remembered but as the conversation continued it turned into the white-clothed character saying that Wu Ming’s beloved didn’t love him back and there was no point in chasing after them, also saying that Wu Ming should rather focus on him and their mission to destroy Yong’An. This turned into Wu Ming finding out the character in white was just manipulating him and using him, making Wu Ming stab the White-clothed Calamity!

Hua Cheng looked about ready to attack anyone in sight as his hand started to shake but calmed significantly when Xie Lian started to smooth his knuckles. Apparently, this scene was supposed to represent the time when Xie Lian stabbed himself and fell into the streets creating a big crater, seeing as the next scene starts with Wu Ming arriving at the city seeing the White-clothed calamity searching for his sword that he was supposed to summon the vengeful spirits with. Once Wu Ming arrived and his once companion saw this, they fought for the sword for a while before Wu Ming finished the White-clothed calamity off with a final stab to the heart. 

Xie Lian sighed figuring at least Wu Ming really was depicted as the hero then, so instead of focusing on the stage he looked up at Hua Cheng who was shaking and gritting his teeth from under the mask. Xie Lian smiled seeing Hua Cheng snap out of it when he rested his head on Hua Cheng’s shoulder. Hua Cheng relaxed and rested his head on his own, albeit more hesitantly. “Does gege want to stay with me in Paradise manor tonight?” Hua Cheng asked curiously and smiled at Xie Lian. “That- “

Xie Lian was about to continue speaking when his eyes travelled back to the show. It seemed in the time he was focusing on Hua Cheng, the Wu Ming in the show had realized that he couldn’t get rid of all the spirits and seeing as he didn’t want them attacking civilians, he took the sword making them attack him instead. The effects for this scene really weren’t all that good, just a ring of black cloth surrounding Wu Ming’s actor. But this was enough for Xie Lian to freeze and remember back to how he watched Wu Ming die, a smile under that mask. He remembered screaming and falling to his knees in front of where Wu Ming stood. He remembered how White no face told him Wu Ming was his last believer and how Xie Lian’s actions caused Wu Ming’s soul to be literally ripped to pieces, the pain Wu Ming was in…

Once the black ring disappeared from the stage, all that remained was in fact the sword and a flower. The people gasped as if this was the first time they saw this scene play out. Even Mu Qing and Feng Xin let out hushed mumbles between themselves. Hua Cheng on the other hand looked unfazed as usual. Though Xie Lian felt tears roll down his cheeks and felt nearly nauseous as he watched the sword and flower. Suddenly everything felt like he was moving in a daze, his instincts taking over. “I need to go, don’t follow me,” Xie Lian quickly said to his three companions before running away, ignoring their questioning shouts. 

He ran.

He didn’t know where to, but he ran as if there were no tomorrow.

Xie Lian finally made it to the temple of Wu Ming making him slow down. It was surprisingly quiet, so Xie Lian walked over to the statue of Wu Ming. It was a life-sized statue making it easy for Xie Lian to wrap his arms around the statues neck and cry into his shoulder. It was quiet as Xie Lian just let out soft sobs and whimpers. At this point, he didn’t care for anyone’s weird glances even if there was no one there.

“I’m so sorry Wu Ming, you deserved better than what I gave you… you shouldn’t have taken that sword, I should’ve been the one to die that day… I couldn’t even find your lover after you died…” Xie Lian muttered to the statue as he kept on apologizing, just finding comfort in hugging this statue. He wanted to throw up because of all the memories resurfacing but he stopped himself, not caring that a massive headache was forming.

“Has gege ever thought that maybe you were his beloved,” Hua Cheng’s voice suddenly sounded from behind him. To be honest after searching everywhere he could think of and not finding the person, he genuinely thought of the possibility that he might be Wu Ming’s beloved, but he quickly stopped the thought as soon as it appeared. No, he couldn’t think such things when he was one who caused his death. 

Xie Lian turned around seeing Hua Cheng was still dressed in the black robes and the mask. He quickly covered his mouth feeling shame burn in his chest and stomach. “Can you change back to your true form please…?” He asked, trying his best to wipe away all the tears and stop himself from throwing up. Hua Cheng of course did as asked and sat on the step of the temple. He opened his arms silently asking if Xie Lian wanted a hug as comfort. 

Xie Lian hesitantly sat next to Hua Cheng and pressed his head against Hua Cheng’s chest. “If San Lang knows Wu Ming, why is San Lang asking me?” Xie Lian muttered making Hua Cheng laugh softly. “Gege is smart. Yes, I know Wu Ming, quite unfortunately,” Hua Cheng spoke in his usual condescending tone. Xie Lian let out a small whimper and gently hits Hua Cheng’s chest, which clearly surprised Hua Cheng as he even stopped breathing. “Please don’t talk about him like that… I know San Lang usually talks about many people like this but please… just not him,” Xie Lian almost begged making Hua Cheng sigh and pull him even closer for a hug. 

“He doesn’t deserve Gege’s kindness, after that whole thing he really did become a disappointment, not much to worry about,” Hua Cheng simply responded, and Xie Lian was about to argue but finally Hua Cheng’s words set in. “Wu Ming is still around?” Xie Lian asked looking at Hua Cheng hopefully. He could see Wu Ming again! “Of course he is, gege, I met him a few decades back. Though these days the spirit wonders around, never in one place for too long and changes their form often. So really, I couldn’t show him to gege even if I tried,” Hua Cheng responded making Xie Lian sigh a bit. 

“Hua Cheng… do you think of me differently, now that you know what I did?” Xie Lian asked using the ghost’s full name to show he was being serious. Hua Cheng immediately shook his head smoothing Xie Lian’s hair. “Of course not, we’ve all had bad pasts and did things we regret. When I met Wu Ming, he didn’t even seem mad at gege. I think he wants to meet you too, but he is not ready yet,” Hua Cheng honestly responded yet it still felt like he wasn’t telling the entire truth. Xie Lian brushed it off knowing Hua Cheng won’t keep important things from him.  

“Can we go to Paradise manor now…please?” Xie Lian shyly asks making Hua Cheng smile and hold him closer. He let go of Xie Lian standing up. “Do you want to offer flowers to Wu Ming?” Hua Cheng asked making Xie Lian smile. He stood up and looked at the statue. “That would be nice,” Xie Lian responded with a soft smile. Hua Cheng smiled and left to get flowers, telling Xie Lian to stay and rest. 

Xie Lian smiled and walked up to the statue looking at it for a bit. He thought back to what Hua Cheng said about him being Wu Ming’s beloved and while once the thought made him feel giddy, Xie Lian now felt guilt. He realized he wasn’t in love with Wu Ming, rather he was in love with Hua Cheng… 

It took a while to realize this but now he was beyond sure. He was in love with Hua Cheng, the Crimson Rain Sought Flower. He sighed and softly smoothed the cold stone mask of the statue. “Hopefully when we meet again Wu Ming, you have found your beloved and I can show you mine. For now, I hope you are better off, just like I am, I hope to meet you soon Wu Ming…” 

~TIMESKIP~

It’s been a year.

A full year since Hua Cheng had broken his cursed shackles, only to collapse as the battle ended. Xie Lian barely remembered how it felt to hold him and comfort his dying companion. Yet at the time it seemed like Hua Cheng was doing the comfort work as Xie Lian cried and sobbed in his ghost’s shoulder and chest. With a promise of returning Hua Cheng dissolved in thousands of butterflies, neither to be touched nor held. This broke Xie Lian.

It took almost 2 months to rebuild Puqi Shrine, in that time he stayed with Feng Xin. For those 2 months Xie Lian did not leave the room, feeling too shaky or nauseous to even do so. All he did in those days were stare at the ring he still had around his neck and at the red string on his finger. Those two things were the only things keeping him sane. But soon that feeling disappeared as well, replaced by the urge to make Puqi Shrine perfect for Hua Cheng’s return. And as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, it became easier to smile as he found happiness in preparing a life for him and Hua Cheng.

Finally, a full year went by and as Xie Lian was walking back home for the day his vision was suddenly filled with multiple lanterns, thousands of them, flying up to the heavens. It all came from his temple making his heart stop. He dropped what he was carrying and ran to the temple and as expected in front of the temple stood a man dressed in all red, lighting lanterns. “San Lang!!!” 

Xie Lian screamed, he felt so overwhelmingly happy to even be bothered by the thought of waking his followers. Hua Cheng turned around and Xie Lian felt tears stream down his face. Hua Cheng smiled and held out his arms, inviting Xie Lian in for a hug. Immediately Xie Lian ran up the hill and hugged Hua Cheng tightly, burying his face in Hua Cheng’s chest. They stayed there like that for hours, just holding each other and softly whispering small conversations like; “Are you really here?”, “As promised gege, I am here.” 

Soon Hua Cheng pulled away, chuckling as a whine escaped Xie Lian’s lips. “Gege, I want to show you something, may I?” Hua Cheng spoke suddenly, with a sense of seriousness. This brought Xie Lian back to his senses as he nodded, a bit concerned. “Of course, San Lang, what is it?” Xie Lian asked in response making Hua Cheng smile. He gently led Xie Lian into the shrine, closing the door behind them and immediately drawing a teleportation array. Xie Lian looked at him confused but stayed silent so Hua Cheng can focus. 

After he finished Hua Cheng gently took Xie Lian’s hand, leading him out once more. It seemed whatever Hua Cheng wanted to show him was important, so Xie Lian just allowed the ghost to do what he wanted to do. It didn’t take long for him to realize that they were in Wu Ming’s temple. Xie Lian was confused and looked at Hua Cheng sceptically. They haven’t brought up Wu Ming since the night they retired to Paradise manor and Hua Cheng allowed Xie Lian to cry into his shoulder, ranting about what happened. 

“San Lang why are we here now?” Xie Lian finally asked as he noticed Hua Cheng fidget with his sleeves. Hua Cheng let out a sigh as he finally turned to Xie Lian. “This one apologizes for not doing this earlier… I thought we would have more time together after Jun Wu died, but I felt too weak at the time,” Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian even more confused. “San Lang what are you-?” Xie Lian stopped talking as Hua Cheng kneeled in front of Xie Lian. 

Instinctively Xie Lian goes to help Hua Cheng up, but he froze as he looked at the man he ended up falling head over heels for. Because just as he was about to approach Hua Cheng his robes shifted to a black colour and his hair was bound in a ponytail. His face was suddenly covered with a white all smiling mask. He looked exactly like Wu Ming!

“Forgive this cowardly one for making Your Highness wait. It was rude of me,” Hua Cheng spoke, but this voice was not his deep voice that he usually has. This voice matches Wu Ming’s tone, pitch and even his slight weariness perfectly. Hua Cheng was Wu Ming! Finally, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hua Cheng even loved him at his worst and now they can finally be together. “My San Lang… My Wu Ming… I love you in any form, you don’t have to- “Xie Lian was about to say that his beloved need not apologize when suddenly Hua Cheng pitched forward. 

Xie Lian luckily caught him, so Hua Cheng (still in his Wu Ming form) was now resting on his chest. Immediately Xie Lian got flashbacks of that day almost a year ago, so he gripped his lover tightly, already shaking out of fear. Wu Ming realizes this making him gently touch Xie Lian’s cheeks (Only then did Xie Lian realize he was crying). “Don’t worry Your Highness. I won’t disappear. When a ghost pieces itself back together, spiritual energy is a feeble and fleeting thing. I won’t disperse again, but I will have random fatigue episodes where I collapse or get tired after even using a bit of energy. It will all go away soon enough," Wu Ming reassured, though Xie Lian still examined him and made sure he wasn’t transparent like last time.

Once Xie Lian was sure his lover was safe and healthy (well as healthy as a ghost can be), he just hugged Wu Ming. At this point both were lying down, too tired to do much other than resting, and honestly too clingy to move. Wu Ming’s hands smoothed Xie Lian’s sides and back, while Xie Lian kissed his forehead repeatedly and smoothed his hair in a comforting way. Xie Lian finally felt at peace, knowing now he can continue his life by focusing on his godhood and his adorable lover. Having said that…

“San Lang do you want to get married?” Xie Lian spoke earnestly. This time it was the ghost’s turn to become embarrassed, only letting out a quivering hum and a nod. This made the god laugh happily. Truly everything was better now…

Chapter Text

Xie Lian looked around with a bright smile. He loved festivities in Ghost city, some more than others of course, but he loved everything in Ghost City. Though he must admit he missed festivities in the Human Realm too, thus after much planning on how to ask Hua Cheng to accompany him on one of these festivities (though of course it never took much convincing on his side), they were finally walking around the market place of such a festival.

It was just as amazing as Xie Lian had hoped for, Hua Cheng was at his side holding his hand gently and reassuringly as always. He found he could hold Hua Cheng's hand for the rest of eternity, and he would be content. It also served as a constant reminder that the ghost king was there to stay and that he won't disappear like that time a few decades ago. Xie Lian still sometimes dream about that day and would often wake up in cold sweat. Though as the years passed, his fear subsided, and he hasn't had nightmares in the last few years. Well not nightmares about Hua Cheng dying at least.

Hua Cheng took to buying Xie Lian gifts and foods as it seemed his nature to spoil Xie Lian never ceased, while Xie Lian won Hua Cheng prizes by partaking in the often rigged games. Xie Lian knew Hua Cheng wouldn't show it to him, but whenever he turned to look at his husband he could see Hua Cheng grip onto the stuffed toys or eat the food gratefully or admire Xie Lian as he played the games. It seems that after all these years, Hua Cheng still feels the need to hide his bashfulness around Xie Lian to protect his image of a confident and dependable husband. Xie Lian smiles and makes sure to kiss his cheeks, showing it's okay to show these types of things.

Soon the night drew to an end, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were simply strolling as they looked up at the sky, Hua Cheng telling him legends and stories of certain stars. Though this was quickly interrupted by a fellow Daoist bowing to the two of them, Xie Lian recognized him immediately. He was in charge of a temple not far from Puqi Village. Xie Lian wasn't in the mood for pleasantries, and it seemed Hua Cheng wasn't either. Yet the Daoist persisted. 

"Daozhang! I am selling these head bands that ward off certain evil spirits who can control your mind. They appear more and more often around my temple. According to my sources the demons or spirits use their ability to crawl into your mind and take control of it, by wearing this it puts a shield up that keeps the demons out," the Daoist explained thoroughly, making Xie Lian stop and look at him. Hua Cheng also stopped and after receiving a look from Xie Lian, he simply nodded, verifying that the information was indeed facts. Surprisingly it was Hua Cheng who walked to the stall first, Xie Lian following in suit. 

'The spirits are dangerous and don't follow rules set by ghost city, so it is best we get you one now' Hua Cheng spoke in their private communication array, knowing Xie Lian hated being seen as untrusting of another person. 

Hua Cheng ordered a beautiful white headband with a few white and blue beads in the centre and two thin chains framing the band hanging more loosely and tying in at the end. It was beautiful and fit Xie Lian perfectly. Hua Cheng paid as the Daoist helped Xie Lian tie it properly at the back of his head. Suddenly Xie Lian felt the Daoist's fingers pull on the chain around his neck, the one that Hua Cheng's ashes were hanging from. Ever since Hua Cheng's return and asking Hua Cheng what it truly was, he never allowed anyone to even touch or be near it, only allowing Hua Cheng to touch it and Yin Yu to clean it. Thus, Xie Lian quickly wrapped a hand around the ring shielding it from any harm and quickly twisted around to face the Daoist with a fake and dangerous smile.

"Sorry, it seems I have overstepped. It is just as a craftsman, I can admire good work when I see it," the Daoist explained in a soft spoken and apologetic tone. Hua Cheng at this point noticed Xie Lian's hand shaking as he held the ring, making him stand closer to Xie Lian wrapping an arm around Xie Lian's waist. "Let's go gege, you are tired. If you want, this San Lang will happily carry you home," Hua Cheng spoke in a concerned but teasing tone to cheer his god up. Xie Lian couldn't stop shaking, it was the closest anyone has gotten to touching the ring since Jun Wu. The thought of what the god would've done if he had known what the ring was still terrified Xie Lian to his core. 

He allowed Hua Cheng to lead him back to their home in Puqi village, though he did not miss the terrifyingly dangerous smirk crossing the Daoist's face as he also packed up for the night...

~~~

Xie Lian panicked. He felt weightless. His mind was completely blank, and it felt like he was drowning in the deepest lake known to man. He felt dread fill his stomach and chest making his throat clog up as well. He was engulfed in total darkness and could only make out muffled noises of arguing. He could make one out as Hua Cheng and the other as...

The Daoist from the marketplace a couple of weeks ago! 

Xie Lian could only remember that he was eating lunch, made by his perfect husband for once and they were happily talking about the newest rumours and news in Ghost city. Along with his marriage to Hua Cheng, he also became like a second king for the city he held so dear in his heart, so hearing Hua Cheng talk about it as if they were parenting this city made him extremely happy. Yet as Hua Cheng talked, Xie Lian felt his consciousness slip and now he is here...

What was causing this? He has been feeling like this for a while now since the festival. He found himself sleeping more, his mind feeling dazed more often than not, his spiritual energy draining quicker than the cursed shackles ever did and even more weird feelings. Of course he didn't tell his husband, figuring it was a mild illness and that if he finished his work he could take a day off with his husband and they could spend it in bed, like they usually do in their off days. But now... Now Xie Lian was trapped in this mess, and he could only float around the abyss of what he presumed to be his mind till whatever this is wears off. 

He suddenly felt a pain in his head where he had gotten used to the headband that Hua Cheng got him for protection. Xie Lian immediately realized what was going on as that same panic seemed to engulf him. The Daoist was using the headband to mind control him! This wasn't a shield against mind control, it was an instrument used by the Daoist to over time cultivate evil energy into the headband so it can be used to overtake Xie Lian's mind and control his body for a certain amount of time. Seeing as Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were equally busy the last few weeks and just used their communication array to talk during the night, Hua Cheng never realized the evil energy either. How cunning, if it were any other situation Xie Lian would've found this really interesting. Yet now the only thought that filled his mind was why...

It didn't take long for him to find out exactly why as he felt his body stand up, even though Xie Lian was willing it to remain sitting. Xie Lian felt as his hand slowly reached up and wrap around the ring on his necklace. Xie Lian froze as he realized...

Hua Cheng was the reason, the cultivator had to have a grudge against the Ghost King which led to him using Xie Lian to end his life. Xie Lian screamed and cried for Hua Cheng to do something. Anything. He prayed and screamed curses as he felt no pain from Hua Cheng even trying to take away Xie Lian's grip on his ashes. But he knew... he knew no matter what that Hua Cheng would never hurt him, would never even try something that causes Xie Lian harm. Xie Lian didn't know how long this spell lasted and he couldn't even contact Mu Qing and Feng Xin to do anything. He could only scream and cry out at Hua Cheng to do something to stop him. He realized his screams and cries came out as soft whimpers and cries in the real world, making Hua Cheng even more hesitant. 

"This spell isn't hurting him, is it?" Hua Cheng's strained and pained voice became clearer now as the spell exhausted itself. Of course, his husband only worries about his wellbeing in a time like this. Xie Lian almost had the urge to punch Hua Cheng right then and there, he wanted Hua Cheng to be selfish for once, to hurt Xie Lian so he could live. Xie Lian's pleading and cries fell on deaf ears until suddenly his mind cleared completely. 

It took a while for his eyes to get used to the brightness of his shrine and in his dazed state he quickly ripped the headband off and heard steps running out of the shrine. Once his vision cleared up he looked at his hands. Immediately his breath hitched in his throat as he realized there was no longer a ring in his hand but rather dust that almost blew away. Xie Lian felt panic set in as he could barely breath in and out. Tears quickly came to his eyes as he searched for his husband. It didn't take long as Xie Lian quickly spotted him on the floor next to the chair he occupied while they ate. 

Xie Lian fell to his knees and quickly crawled over to his beautiful lover. Hua Cheng seemed to be in massive amounts of pain as he wilfully tried to hold onto his last remaining spiritual energy to keep his form like this. "San Lang, hey San Lang I'm here... I-I'm here... Why... why didn't you stop me...?" Xie Lian whispered as he cradled Hua Cheng to his chest, rocking back and forth as he felt tears rise up in his eyes, his breathing becoming laboured. He started kissing Hua Cheng's face all over, making sure to linger so he can give some of his spiritual energy to Hua Cheng. He has to live... Hua Cheng can't leave...

He can't die... not now... not ever...

Hua Cheng stopped him by using a lot of his energy to hug Xie Lian and smooth away his tears. "Stop it gege, you know..." A soft whimper of pain left Hua Cheng's lips as he continued (Xie Lian thinks that this is the first time Hua Cheng genuinely seemed to be in pain), "You know that isn't going to work, use your energy to heal your own meridians and mind." These words aggravated Xie Lian as he grits his teeth, gripping onto every part of Hua Cheng he can. "San Lang why didn't you stop me! I... I killed you... I... I am the one to blame!" Xie Lian didn't care as he screamed at Hua Cheng, feeling the need for air slowly disappear as he solely focused on Hua Cheng. 

"Gege... Xie Lian, please look at me..." Hua Cheng's voice became even softer and became even more laboured. Xie Lian felt his anger slipping away, he knew Hua Cheng's end was near... How could he yell and scream at him when really he should be the one comforting his husband. He breathed out a sigh as he hugged Hua Cheng now in a position where they could see each other. 

"Won't you stay... please... please you promised you would..." 

"I love you Xie Lian, I hope I made that much clear to you..."

"Of course you did... you... my love, my everything, you are perfect in every sense of that word..." 

A soft chuckle left his lips as a happy smile crossed Hua Cheng's face making Xie Lian sob even more. He pressed his forehead against Hua Cheng's, his tears dripping onto Hua Cheng's cheeks. Hua Cheng didn't have the strength to lift his hand, thus Xie Lian grabbed his hand and places it on his cheek after seeing Hua Cheng struggle to lift his hand. 

"Save your energy beloved, I am going to call Mu Qing and Feng Xin and maybe we can put your ring back together... please...please say that is possible..."

"Your highness, you know it isn't... I have to go soon just... please promise me to stay alive... Even with me gone, people need you... I don't want to cut your life short just because I am not here... Promise me you'll live a long and happy life..."

It sounded like a goodbye. Xie Lian found that he hated this goodbye the most. He could live without his parents, live without Mu Qing and Feng Xin... he had to learn the hard way that he has to live without them. But Hua Cheng... he couldn't live without him... he can't do this without him...

"No... no please don't do that... I need you Hua Cheng... I can't... I can't... not without you..." Xie Lian begged as more tears streamed down his face. Hua Cheng shook his head and smiled. 

"Your highness is strong and beautiful, it won't take you long before you find a new lover and you find a new meaning to happiness, till then you just have to be strong," Hua Cheng muttered as a small smile appeared on his lips, his eyes drooping shut as tiredness set in. 

"No! No no no please, I'll continue living, I promise I'll try... but I'm going to wait for you, I won't forget you. I'm going to wait for you, and you are going to come back like you always do, then we can continue this conversation then..." Xie Lian finally found himself, agreeing. His husband really did have him wrapped around his finger...

Hua Cheng only chuckled as slowly he just let go of the spiritual power he was holding onto. His body disappeared quicker than expected as Xie Lian held onto him like a life line. "I'll try not to keep my beloved waiting then..." And like that Hua Cheng was gone. There was nothing and no one in Xie Lian's arm, not even a butterfly to comfort him. Xie Lian couldn't hold it in anymore. He cried and distantly he heard shrill screaming, loud enough to shake the Earth. It sounded like a scream no human, god or even ghost should be able to make.

It only took a sore throat and a metallic taste in his mouth to realize he was the one who screamed bloody murder, and that he had accidentally hurt his throat while he screamed. There were tears streaming down his face and his ears were ringing as he continued to scream and scream and scream...

'Mu Qing, Feng Xin... he's gone, he's really gone...'

And with that last almost instinctual call out to his friends, his vision started to form blackspots and he soon completely passed out right there on the floor...

~~~

It was now modern times; gods were useless as very little people still prayed to the gods of old. Thus Ling Wen (who took over the heavens as Xie Lian recovered from his loss, and then just permanently got the title of emperor) sealed a 'cursed shackle' on everyone's wrists. It only granted immortality, not a punishment like the ones from before and if the god so asked it, the shackle was the same colour as their skin tone, to hide the mark further. Thus, because every god is guaranteed immortality and answering prayers happened once or twice a week rather than almost a hundred a day, the gods became bored. So, they went down to the mortal realm to follow a more mortal path, just changing their identities every hundred years or so to not arise suspicion as well as keeping relationships with mortals fleeting experiences. 

Ling Wen was a lawyer, surprisingly. According to her, she tried accounting and wanted to murder someone, so she stuck with being a lawyer. She became infamous, praised by all. Her days are packed with her mortal life and her godly duties, yet it didn't take long for the Heavenly realm to realize she had found a person to help. She helped her lover whose soul was tied to the brocade immortal, get a more... humanly form. They have been married for centuries. 

Pei Ming for a long time just slept around and adopted Xie Lian's nomad lifestyle of staying in inns (hotels, bed and breakfast etc) or at a recent hook ups place. This quickly got boring for the god until someone mentioned what a host club is. As you guessed it, Pei Ming is the owner of the largest host restaurant in the world. He is mostly seen there or in the gym with Feng Xin.

Lang Qianqiu is doing a lot according to Ling Wen, mostly working at orphanages or charity organizations to help people. Xie Lian helped as much as he could and after years it seems their relationship has healed. Xie Lian receives weekly calls from Lang Qianqiu now that he is travelling the world to help people.

Shi Qingxuan died around the same time Hua Cheng did. Though to Xie Lian's knowledge they got reincarnated and is now living and creating content with a familiar person in all black and suspiciously pale skin. Xie Lian was happy for them and made friends with both of them. He Xuan often looked at him with underlying pity, Xie Lian pretends to not see it. Shi Qingxuan is also the only mortal who knows about him being a god, also the only one who knows about his relationship with Hua Cheng who (as much as Xie Lian hates to see it) is known as a cursed monster. 

Yin Yu took over ghost city with Quan Yizhen after Hua Cheng died. They make great rulers and Xie Lian still often visits them and ghost city. Though this tradition has lessened in recent years as their pitying looks and sad whispers of Hua Cheng's death (as well as some rumours saying Xie Lian killed him) got too much for the poor god. Yin Yu understood and sometimes contacts him on how things are going. 

Feng Xin jumped around for years, he couldn't choose one thing to spend his life on. So, for this lifetime at least, he manages a gym, a whole gym. He does private classes and is well liked amongst people at the gym and people in the small town alike. 

Mu Qing was a fashion designer. He loved his work and often even modelled for his own products. He even helps Lang Qianqiu at times and makes new clothes for the kids in the orphanage. His relationship with Feng Xin grew even more as years passed. They still argue and bicker, but it almost seemed domestic in a way. Like the bickering makes them happy and makes them feel normal. 

And finally, himself, Xie Lian was an author. He tried every job under the sun, trying to fill the hole in his heart that Hua Cheng left but nothing did. Thus, he started to vent his feelings in notebooks, writing about how he would feel if Hua Cheng came back. Shi Qingxuan found these notebooks and urged him to make stories on it. His books are known by most people as 'sob-love stories'. If his friends noticed that the main love interests were similar to Hua Cheng, they didn't speak of it. He was a renowned author who wrote under the name 'Hua Xie'. He decides he likes that name... but it felt wrong to permanently call himself that. No one knew how he looked like thus it made writing under a pen name even easier...

It's been centuries... Hua Cheng is still nowhere to be found...

~~~

Xie Lian didn't even have to look at the calendar when he groggily woke up to know what day it was. At this point it is almost like he just counts the days off till his own impossible death. He wanted to sleep more, he didn't want to move, he wanted to remain under his red bedsheets to continue pretending Hua Cheng is holding him as he slept. He sighed sitting up, knowing today meant he can go see his husband with no one bothering him. He felt guilty for not being around his phone today, so he quickly checked his phone before getting dressed. It was most of the same texts he gets on this day every year. 

A simple text from Shi Qingxuan saying that they wish him a good day and that they are home today if Xie Lian needs company. There were also texts from both Feng Xin and Mu Qing telling him that if he needs them, they are on a date night so he simply has to call them, and they will come over (This is rare as Mu Qing almost always has fashion shows this time of year and Feng Xin normally has gym classes he needs to get to). There was also a text from Yin Yu like every year, inviting him down to ghost city to partake in the festival held in Hua Cheng's honour and telling Xie Lian that there was no sign of Hua Cheng on his side. 

Xie Lian couldn't will himself to respond to any of them, maybe tomorrow. He stood up and got dressed in a white sweater and red tight fitting trousers with black boots, he wore black jewellery to match the boots and a red ribbon to match the trousers. If Mu Qing was here he would surely either tell his outfit off or tell him it looks like he is going to a date. Xie Lian always tries to look his best when going to visit Hua Cheng, it is the only thing he dresses up for, the only thing he cares enough to look good for. He pulled his now much shorter hair into a messy bun using the red ribbon to keep it together (He cut his hair short a few years ago after crying about missing his husband. Mu Qing helped cut it neatly within the next week and was very upset with Xie Lian), picking up his glasses and his wallet before leaving his lonely apartment. 

He quickly walked to the flower shop he often visited this time of year. The old lady smiled sympathetically seeing the bags under his eyes and his pale complexion. "The usual order, right young man?" She asked making Xie Lian plaster on a fake smile, so the lady does not get concerned. "Yes please," he spoke softly, his voice no longer going over his normal whispering tone. He only screams when he has nightmares and that's all. The lady nodded and put his bouquet together before giving him the flowers. He paid and wished her farewell before making his way to the cemetery.

He sighs in relief seeing the statue he had made for his husband (with help of course) was untouched. In the first few years Xie Lian had to come here every day to clean the graffiti off of the statue. Later he asked Yin Yu to send a few minor ghosts (that can easily hide themselves but terrifying enough to scare people away) to protect the statue, according to him later, so many ghosts signed up that even shifts were now held. Surprisingly today he finds Yin Yu there instead of the normal ghosts he usually greets. 

"Yin Yu? What are you doing here? I thought you were needed at the festival?" He asked confused as he walked up to the ghost, both of them now looking at the statue. It was absolutely breathtaking and very accurate. It was a statue of Hua Cheng sitting with his one leg in a criss-cross position and the other was held up to his chest, his arm leaning on it. His one hand that was resting on his knee held a butterfly and the other was on his lap, simply resting. Hua Cheng looked at the butterfly with a soft smile, his eyepatch still on his right eye and his hair in a messy braid across his shoulder. 

Yin Yu bowed to Xie Lian even if it wasn't needed, Xie Lian didn't have the energy to argue and correct him right now. "I wanted to check up on you... You look..." Yin Yu hesitated making Xie Lian smile slightly, knowing Yin Yu can't lie. "I know Yin Yu... thank you for being concerned... In the text you said that there is no signs of him still?" Xie Lian asks as Yin Yu turned to leave, knowing Xie Lian wanted silence while visiting his beloved. He froze at the mention of Hua Cheng though, slowly turning around. "Yes your highness... I think it is time you move on... Hua Cheng didn't want this when he asked you to stay alive...he wouldn't be happy to see you like this..." Yin Yu spoke softly making Xie Lian's eyes burn. He knew this. He knew Hua Cheng wouldn't like his sunken cheeks from not eating, his eyes never holding emotions, his hair cut purely out of madness, the dark circles under his eyes etc. "Trust me if I could move on... I would've already..." Xie Lian muttered not looking at Yin Yu.

It was silent till a whooshing sound echoed through the graveyard. Yin Yu had disappeared. Xie Lian sighed and kneeled down in front of the statue. He didn't care that the morning dew on the grass probably dirtied his beautiful red trousers that Mu Qing specifically made for him. Xie Lian usually started talking at this point, telling him where everyone is now, telling him about his year, telling him about what he is feeling but this time all those words seem stuck in his throat. He wouldn't be happy to see you like this...

Xie Lian felt the need to scream and cry and break the statue out of pure anger, but he stopped himself. Instead, he silently started sobbing as he curled into a ball hugging himself. "If you aren't even happy... why am I still here San Lang...? I did this all for you, I wanted you to come back. You promised to come back... You promised..." Xie Lian sobbed out and covered his face in his knees like he always did when upset. After no sound was heard Xie Lian let out a soft whimper and a silent little scream sound that just sounded like a sob. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry San Lang... I am just... I am so tired; I miss you so much it physically causes me discomfort and hurt. I know this is the one time a year you... you see me and want to hear about my year, but I can't pretend anymore. My life is suffering without you, I can do it, I can live without you... but I can't be happy without you, and it makes me feel pain. I just.." Xie Lian forced himself to speak slowly and without sobbing. He forced himself to calm down as he slowly crawled over to the statue. 

He rested his head on the statue's lap and closed his eyes trying to relax. He looked up and gently held the hand that was open for the butterfly. He smiled a bit as he continued to rest and slowly started talking like he normally would. It felt like a genuine weight off his shoulder as he slowly felt his eyes drift shut. Like that he fell asleep with a small smile on his lips finally feeling like he was with his husband again in their little garden at Puqi Shrine...

~~~

"You know when you said you had a magical evening planned for me tonight, I didn't expect this," Mu Qing gestured to the table him and his husband were currently sitting at. They were in a casino so to speak. It focused a lot on music and dancing and even food as well. This really was an interesting place, but it seemed packed. Feng Xin must've booked them a table to even get in judging by the line leading out of the door. 

"Trust me, that we'll do later," Feng Xin teasingly winked making Mu Qing blush and look away. Really, Feng Xin has become flirtatious these days. Pei Ming has been at his gym more often so maybe Feng Xin got advice from the 'Master Charmer'. The nickname made Mu Qing cringe every time he heard it. Feng Xin laughed seeing his adorable husband completely flustered. "Actually, I was planning on just making you a lovely pillow fort in the back of my truck and take you to a clearing so we can cuddle under the stars, but I realized you never gambled before, it might be fun to try," Feng Xin explained and Mu Qing must admit, the first option made his heart flutter. 

"Have you ever thought that maybe I don't gamble for a reason," Mu Qing voiced his complaint like normal but there was no heat behind his words, it can even be seen as a tease. Feng Xin realized this, so his next words also had no bite like it did in the past. "Well excuse me for trying to show my husband something new. You'll just have to wait for our card dealer to get here, then you can complain to him," he muttered in a fake grumpy tone making Mu Qing smile a bit. Gods, this is making him remember how much he loves his husband. Husband...

Mu Qing couldn't help it as his mind travelled to Xie Lian. "It's Hua Cheng's death anniversary today... Have you heard anything from Xie Lian yet?" Mu Qing hesitantly asked making Feng Xin sigh. Mu Qing habitually held Feng Xin's hand as they talked about their friend, knowing the topic of his suffering hurts Feng Xin too. "You know how he is on this day; he doesn't talk to anyone and never even looks at his phone. We can call him tomorrow morning or invite him over for dinner tomorrow. But it is best not to talk to him now," Feng Xin explained in a sad tone making Mu Qing smooth his bruised knuckles from the punching bag at the gym. "I know... I just..." Mu Qing evidently still struggles with words making the air around them quiet for a bit. 

"I know you are worried about him... But he'll be fine, he loves us too much to not tell us immediately if he feels too awful," Feng Xin reassured making Mu Qing sigh. He still remembers coming to the shrine when Xie Lian called on both of his servants and seeing Xie Lian collapsed on the floor, his breaths laboured, and his cheeks had tear stains all over them. Hua Cheng's death took a heavy toll on the god, a century isn't enough to heal it all. It took Xie Lian years to just be alone away from him and Feng Xin, of course he hasn't moved on. Actually, Xie Lian seemed more miserable now than he did all those years ago. Because back then he still held out hope for Hua Cheng's return, now he doesn't even have anything to hold onto...

"Let's not think about that now, if we are so concerned, we can just bring him food later tonight to check up on him. For now, I actually have an interesting story for you," Feng Xin started as their drinks arrived but again the card dealer wasn't there. How tardy of them. But Mu Qing quickly expelled any thoughts he had and looked at his husband to show he was listening, anything to keep their minds off their friend.

"This casino works different than most. Most casinos have a group dealers and usually they switch tables depending on who is busy and who is not and what table is open and what table is not," Feng Xin started explaining and Mu Qing must admit, he didn't know where this was heading. But he listened anyways as instead of excited like he usually is when he tells his stories, his husband seems perplexed. "This casino works differently. Instead of booking a single table and then whoever is free will take you, here it almost seems more personal. You book a table yes, but you also book a card dealer. I didn't think much of it till-"

"Till you read my name? I get that a lot. Now are you here to play or are you here to see if I exist?"

Both Feng Xin and Mu Qing looked up at their card dealer shocked. No, it couldn't be...

~~~

Xie Lian groggily woke up to his ringtone and feeling his phone vibrate in his pants pocket. He sighed softly, realizing it was already dark around him and he had slept practically curled up in his husband's lap. He sat up and pulled out his phone looking at the caller ID, it was Feng Xin. Weird, he knows not to call him at all during this day, he also know Xie Lian would be upset if they do call him... Did something happen to them...?

He answered despite not really wanting to. "Hello Feng Xin, is everything-" He spoke making sure his voice didn't sound like he had been crying for the last few hours or for his voice to sound overly sleepy. But he was quickly shut up by Feng Xin shouting," Your high- Xie Lian, come over quickly, I'll send you an address now." It sounded like him and Mu Qing were at a bar or a club making Xie Lian sigh. Was this another attempt at setting him up with someone? Xie Lian felt his hands pull into a fist as he gritted his teeth. 

"Feng Xin as much as I love you two trying to help me move on, this is the one day in a year I can mourn my husband in peace-" Xie Lian was about to lecture his friends more when suddenly Mu Qing spoke as well. "Xie Lian I swear to god, if you ever needed to trust us, then trust us now. Please get your ass over here and make yourself at least presentable," Mu Qing further pressured making Xie Lian's gut twist. Weird Mu Qing seemed pissed off but also... excited in a way. It made Xie Lian very curious, and he found himself standing up despite himself and agreed reluctantly to the offer. He hung up and looked down, dusting off his trousers. It was good enough, especially if it was just a stupid blind date. 

Xie Lian smiled at Hua Cheng, turning around, and cupping his cheeks. He gently kissed the statues forehead with a smile. "This was nice... I... I will come back tomorrow with my laptop and show you the books I am writing, I need your opinion on the covers," Xie Lian spoke and he was sure he might sound insane to any people who overheard him but this made him feel less insane so who cares. He made sure he had everything and greeted the ghosts who in turn looked after the statue. He finally found himself walking to the location. Oh, it was a casino... 

The person must be a trouble maker then. Xie Lian sighed and looked around, finally spotting Mu Qing waiting for him at the door. He put on his best fake smile, knowing all he has to do is make the date so incredibly uncomfortable that they never talk to him again, before walking over to Mu Qing, greeting him once he was close enough. His friend didn't even spare him a full hello back before dragging him into the casino's bathroom to make him look better. This was going to be a long night... 

Mu Qing almost pulled out a whole make up stash making Xie Lian sigh. "Mu Qing... I don't need the make up or the pampering. If the person doesn't like my appearance today then he shouldn't consider dating me," Xie Lian explained making Mu Qing glare at him, knowing he meant that on an average day he looked worse than this. Mu Qing luckily didn't go crazy like normal, only using concealer to hide the dark circles, a bit of blush on his cheeks to add colour to his face and some eyeliner to make his eyes pop. Once that was done he spun Xie Lian around and started working on his hair, putting it in a messy half up, half down look. Xie Lian can't help but remember how he and Hua Cheng used to always play with each other's hair back then. 

Mu Qing noticed the sad smile and let out a huff. "Don't think of him-" He was about to say till he stopped. Whether it was from his own realization or Xie Lian's glare, he didn't know. "Sorry I just... Give this one a chance, promise me?" Mu Qing quickly spoke making Xie Lian sigh. So, this was just a random blind date. "Mu Qing... why on this day... couldn't you have waited until a week from now, or even tomorrow," Xie Lian asked drinking water from the tap so he could stop the burning in his throat. "Actually, no it couldn't wait, c'mon Feng Xin will explain once we get to the table," was Mu Qing's only response as he packed everything away that he used before.

Xie Lian only let out a sigh and allowed Mu Qing to lead him to a table. Surprisingly only Feng Xin was there, no sign of his date as he expected. Feng Xin immediately hugged Xie Lian once he saw him making Xie Lian freeze a bit before he smoothed Feng Xin's back. Feng Xin has been like this since the hair cutting incident, saying Xie Lian was way too impulsive and should stay with them for a while more, Xie Lian immediately refused but promised they can come over for weekly check-ups. Xie Lian was finally let go and all three of them sat down by the table. Gambling? Really, what were the two of them trying to achieve. 

"Feng Xin, explain to him what you did," Mu Qing spoke in that same pissed off but excited tone of voice. Feng Xin started to explain and if he was being honest, Xie Lian couldn't care less. He spaced out looking at the dice. Hua Cheng would've loved this place; he would win every round and spoil Xie Lian even more. Now that Xie Lian practically isn't a god anymore, he would've been able to spend more time with Hua Cheng in Ghost city. "And when I went to book an appointment I saw-" 

"That a worker here had the same name as the demon lord Hua Cheng, you wanted to see if such a monster could really exist and if I was just as awful looking like the rumours said he was. Well, what do you think, am I that hideous?" A voice suddenly spoke up as the person neared the table. Xie Lian felt his blood run cold as he looked up at the man who just approached them. 

Hua Cheng...

The man had long black hair tied into a pony tail in the back, his suit was messily done up as if leaving the first two buttons open and purposely keeping the tie loose was done purely out of spite. He had a nose ring and snake bite piercings that curled into his mouth forming almost a ring as well as a piercing on his right ear. A few strands of his hair covered his right eyes, but it almost seemed excessive as there was already an eye patch covering it all. He seemed slim but underneath it all he looked muscly, as if hiding a bit of his strength. He looked exactly like a mix between his San Lang and his Hua Cheng. 

Xie Lian felt a blush creep up on his face as he admired this man whose name tag had that very familiar name. Hua Cheng...

"Your mother made the right decision, you look very much like Hua Cheng," Mu Qing spoke and it seemed as if that struck a nerve as Hua Cheng's snarky smile was replaced with a deep frown, his teeth gritting slightly. No... No Hua Cheng isn't supposed to be upset, he is supposed to smile and be happy. So, Xie Lian quickly tried to fix it by uttering the first thought that comes to mind. 

"You are absolutely breathtaking..."

He muttered out and was surprisingly loud enough to hear over the music blearing from the speakers above them. Suddenly he was really happy that Mu Qing decided to pamper him, because as those words left his mouth, Hua Cheng's eyes landed on him. Xie Lian had to stop himself from shying away, suddenly ashamed that he didn't take more care into his appearance. He wouldn't be happy to see you like this... Yin Yu's words suddenly made Xie Lian worry. Maybe this Hua Cheng doesn't even consider him a potential partner because he really let himself go after all these years. 

Yet the crushing rejection never came, only a soft smile spread across Hua Cheng's face. "Thank you gege," he spoke in his usual honey sweet voice making Xie Lian feel like his heart is going to give up on him. Is this how Hua Cheng felt when Xie Lian invited him to stay the night after 800 years of waiting? It is almost as if Hua Cheng used the nickname gege to lure a reaction out of the stunned Xie Lian. Xie Lian couldn't help the soft blush spreading across his face. 

He instead smiled brightly at Hua Cheng receiving a smile back. Hua Cheng took the cards and told Feng Xin something about poker and then taught Xie Lian how to play poker but for Xie Lian, none of that mattered. Instead, he focused on Hua Cheng's warm hands that engulfed Xie Lian's as he helped him pick out cards to leave and what cards to keep. It was like heaven for Xie Lian, he knew he had to get to know Hua Cheng from scratch and love the new him first before anything but this...

This gave him hope to continue living...

It didn't take long for the gambling to become a competition between Feng Xin and Mu Qing (as Xie Lian suspected would happen since round 1 when Feng Xin won, and Mu Qing told Hua Cheng to keep track of who wins the most). Xie Lian currently has the least number of points considering he is more so admiring Hua Cheng or focusing on his laughs and snarky comments when either Feng Xin or Mu Qing makes a mistake. Soon it seemed as if the games between the married couple were the only ones that mattered so Hua Cheng and Xie Lian took to talking about the game or the couple who were currently glaring at each other. 

This was nice. Of course, Xie Lian could see the differences between his husband and this Hua Cheng, like this Hua Cheng's hair was lighter, likely from dyeing it too many times, his eye was not as bright and emotion filled as Hua Cheng's usually was, he did not have pointy ears or fangs that Xie Lian always loved to admire. But he was still undeniably Hua Cheng. It was a lot to get used to and wrap his head around and even if it did work out, then Xie Lian would have to explain everything to him and then there is no saying if Hua Cheng would accept him after that-

He was shook out of his thoughts when suddenly his stomach grumbled painfully. When was the last time he ate? Last night he made pasta or tried to at least and that was all he remembers. Hua Cheng of course heard it making him look at Xie Lian concerned. "Hey, how about we go get something to eat, I think your friends are too busy to notice us anyway," Hua Cheng offered his hand to Xie Lian making Xie Lian blush out of embarrassment for disrupting this peaceful moment. Hua Cheng noticed and softly chuckled. "There's no need to feel embarrassed gege. Well, what do you say, should we go?" Hua Cheng asked once more finally snapping Xie Lian out of his stupor. Xie Lian smiled brightly and hesitantly held Hua Cheng's hand. 

First Hua Cheng went to tell Feng Xin and Mu Qing what to do with the chips after they decided they were done and then where to find them, before finally leading Xie Lian to the seating area where they could talk peacefully and maybe dance later if they were feeling up to it. Hua Cheng was as much of a gentleman now as he was back then, Xie Lian felt as if he was being serviced more than just a hang out, maybe Hua Cheng was doing it to impress him?

Xie Lian quickly blushed and shook his head to dispel the thought immediately, he can't think those things so soon! Hua Cheng got them both menu's, handing Xie Lian one before sitting down himself. Xie Lian looked at the menu for a while trying to decide what he would like to eat, thanking whatever heavenly officials who are looking out for him, that he remembered to bring his wallet. Once he finally decided on what he wanted, he looked up at Hua Cheng only to see him admiring him already. This made Xie Lian blush a bit more, really Hua Cheng was too flirtatious.

"So, Hua Cheng-" Xie Lian was about to start a conversation, but Hua Cheng shook his head at the name. "Please call me San Lang, not Hua Cheng," Hua Cheng whispered almost hesitantly causing Xie Lian to tilt his head a bit. "I'll call you San Lang then, but can I ask why?" Xie Lian asked curiously making Hua Cheng sigh softly and look down at the menu for once. Xie Lian almost interjected and told him that he didn't have to tell him anything if it was a sensitive topic. 

"My birth mom had me while my father was divorcing her for a new wife. My mom named me San Lang, the nickname the Prince of Xianle used for the Ghost King, but it was never documented as my mother died right after holding me for the first time. After my dad's wife saw my red and black eye she called me Hua Cheng out of pure hate and to make my life a living hell. So, I prefer people I like to call me San Lang," Hua Cheng explains making Xie Lian's heart ache a bit. He at least hoped if Hua Cheng was reborn that he would have a better family life than his past life. 

Xie Lian wanted to lighten up the mood, so he teased in a soft tone, "Oh and how many people call you San Lang?" This seemed to do the trick although Xie Lian must admit, it sounded better in his head. "So far, only gege calls me San Lang," Hua Cheng admitted making Xie Lian smile up at him, it felt as much of an honour as it always did. "Oh, my name is Xie Lian by the way... though I don't mind the nickname gege if you would like to use that more often?" Xie Lian explained feeling that it was now a proper time to say all this. Hua Cheng only smiled and nodded his head and as if to test it, he let out a soft mutter, "Xie Lian."

Xie Lian felt himself mentally combust as he heard the mutter, he was brought back centuries ago where Hua Cheng would mutter the name in his dreams, in bed or even as a whine when Xie Lian would ask him to practice calligraphy. He was almost glad that the waiter came over at just that moment, because if Hua Cheng were to start talking, Xie Lian would not have understood even a word out of his mouth. Xie Lian quickly ordered his things after Hua Cheng asked for what he wanted. 

"Gege, can I ask you something?" Hua Cheng asked snapping Xie Lian out of his thoughts once the waiter left the table. "Depends, what is it San Lang?" Xie Lian asked in return remembering Shi Qingxuan told him once that offering that response was better and more teasing than just responding with 'what is it'. It seemed to do the trick, but for the wrong reason. Hua Cheng froze at Xie Lian calling him San Lang, before smiling brightly as if it was an amazing honour for him. This just made Xie Lian's heart melt.

"Is gege married?" Hua Cheng suddenly asks making Xie Lian freeze a bit. He then tilts his head as if silently asking why Hua Cheng would think that. "You have a ring on that necklace, I am simply asking because... I don't want to come in between two people," Hua Cheng points to his chest where Xie Lian hasn't even realized the necklace he made after Hua Cheng's death (an exact match for the ring Hua Cheng gave him) had slipped out from where he kept it underneath his jacket. "Oh... I..." Xie Lian looked down and looked at the ring, not even knowing where to start with this. 

"It's okay if it is a long story gege, I will listen?" Hua Cheng offered making Xie Lian calm down a bit. Just for now, just till Hua Cheng gets to know him and they can talk more comfortably, he can lie a bit. "I was married in my early 20's, call it love at first sight. My husband died a few years back in... in a motorcycle accident. I keep his ring for memories sake," Xie Lian explained (silently cursing himself as he realized this was the exact plot of one of his books) making Hua Cheng hum in understanding. "Is... is gege expecting a new relationship? Or are you not ready for one yet?" Hua Cheng asks hesitantly. Oh, so it was as Xie Lian thought earlier, Hua Cheng saw him as a potential partner and was trying to impress him earlier. Xie Lian smiled a bit though the question made him pause, was he really ready for a relationship? Yes this person looked and acted like Hua Cheng, but they are their own person, with their own stories and their own feelings and emotions. But this was worth it... 

"I'll be honest, I don't think I would ever be ready for a new relationship, but I know my husband... I know he wouldn't want me to be alone for the rest of my life. If... if things are taken slow and steady then I would really enjoy a new relationship," Xie Lian admitted and smiled at Hua Cheng though he was sure some tears escaped his eyes at the thought of his husband congratulating him on finally moving on in life. Hua Cheng was gentle as he softly smoothed Xie Lian's cheeks, smoothing away the fallen tears. "Slow and steady wins the race then," Hua Cheng whispered making Xie Lian smile and laugh. For once in the past few centuries, he felt alive...

~~~

So much for slow and steady...

It's been a few months since that night. Xie Lian spent the day after the casino date at Hua Cheng's grave, crying for a whole other reason. It felt like he was betraying his husband, that this was all a mistake. But after once again talking for a long while he felt a weight being lifted from his shoulder, he realized once more that it was okay for him to move on and be happy, just like Hua Cheng wanted. He knew Hua Cheng would always be there for him, no matter what. 

After that, life became good. Hua Cheng texted Xie Lian daily and Xie Lian invited the new change happily, it gave him so much happiness as Hua Cheng even started sending pictures of himself doing things like going to the gym or working on projects (Xie Lian later realized Hua Cheng was a university student, who was studying art this time around, though according to him he was a history major and then studied law for a while before dropping out) or even just relaxing in bed. Xie Lian in turn sometimes did the same if he went outside (which was a more regular occurrence these days) and saw something interesting. 

After a few weeks Hua Cheng also realized Xie Lian is not really taking good care of himself so upon Xie Lian's request he would send him exercises and recipes to help him. He even gave Xie Lian some of his at home equipment, so Xie Lian doesn't have to go to the gym every day. Hua Cheng even respected the times Xie Lian asked to be left alone for the day when particularly sad, and usually after Xie Lian gave him the okay to talk again, there is a bouquet sent to Xie Lian's house. Overall, it is a severe understatement to say that Xie Lian has a crush on Hua Cheng. He is pretty sure that he is head over heels in love with Hua Cheng, but initiating a relationship means that Xie Lian has to be honest with Hua Cheng... 

Which can lead to rejection...

Xie Lian fears that his still shaky mentality and heart won't be able to bear hearing it now...

Luckily Hua Cheng doesn't pressure the topic at all, whenever they talk about it during their (at this point) weekly dates, he only ever tells Xie Lian that he shouldn't pressure himself, that he will wait until Xie Lian is ready. Which is why today when he is asked on an early morning date at a coffee shop, he isn't at all nervous about the topic and happily says yes to Hua Cheng's text (even though he is a bit sceptical, seeing as Hua Cheng loves nighttime dates more). 

He quickly got dressed in warmer clothes than normal seeing as winter is right around the corner. Xie Lian walks to the café happy to see Hua Cheng was already there waiting for him. He sat down across from Hua Cheng earning a smile from him. "Sorry, I know this is rather early, but I do have a reason for asking you here on your day off," Hua Cheng explained quite nervously making Xie Lian look at him confused. (Hua Cheng knew he was a writer, but he didn't know what books he wrote).

"It's okay San Lang, I don't mind the early mornings," Xie Lian smiled at the man who seemed even more tired than he was (what he doesn't tell him is that usually he had to wake up at sunrise centuries ago and still sometimes wake up at sunrise out of pure habit). Hua Cheng let out a soft laugh when he saw Xie Lian looking at him concernedly at how tired he looks. "Actually, I want to ask gege a big favour. You are of course allowed to say no-" Hua Cheng started explaining making Xie Lian laugh softly and gently smooths his messy hair. "How about we get something to drink then you can tell me everything?" Xie Lian offered with a small smile. 

Hua Cheng stood up with a smile once they both decided what to drink. He ordered the drinks by the counter and after a few minutes returned with both their drinks and a pastry for both of them to eat. It was silent for a while as they drank their own drinks, though it was a comfortable silence, clearly giving time for Hua Cheng to wake up. Xie Lian can't remember his husband ever being like this, he usually woke up before Xie Lian. But to be fair he was a ghost who never needed sleep while this Hua Cheng is a human who very much needs sleep. 

Xie Lian's thoughts were soon interrupted when Hua Cheng finally fully looked at him like he wanted attention. Xie Lian smiled softly in response and turned to look at Hua Cheng as well. "Alright San Lang, what do you want to ask me?" Xie Lian rested his elbows on the table and then rested his chin on his palms. "As you know I am an art student and for our project this term we have to hand in a portrait of anyone, as long as it is a live portrait. I was wondering if I could paint you," Hua Cheng explained still nervously fidgeting with his sleeves. Xie Lian blushed a bit at the question but instead he smiled and gently took Hua Cheng's hand. "I'll do it, don't worry. I assume you chose my day off because you want to do it today?" Xie Lian reassured Hua Cheng, gently smoothing his palm as he knew it calmed him down.

This though only caused Hua Cheng to blush more and even hid his face behind his free hand. Xie Lian tilted his head confused and curiously. "Yes... yes that was why I invited you now... it's just. Well, we were given two options; either we do this portrait with a model that the university provides or with someone we know... I didn't want to paint a model as it gives me little to no creative freedom. I... how to ask this... I have to paint a nude painting," Hua Cheng muttered out that last part, though Xie Lian heard it loud and clear.

Xie Lian's blush darkened, and he covered his own face with his hands as he processed what Hua Cheng just asked. "If you don't want to then you don't have to... I just immediately thought of you when the assignment was given to us," Hua Cheng explained with a blush of his own, still gently gripping his one hand that was holding his earlier. "No no, I am not uncomfortable with that, it just shocked me that you would choose me," Xie Lian admitted shyly and forced himself to stop hiding his face, it's not like his husband hasn't made numerous nude portraits and sculptures of him in the past, he has long since forgotten to be shy about it, just the fact that Hua Cheng's first thought was to ask him made him feel bashful in a way. 

"Well of course, you are the most beautiful person I know gege," Hua Cheng spoke, his usual smoothness returned. Xie Lian immediately let out a small noise from embarrassment, Hua Cheng was too much sometimes. Xie Lian kept his blush under control and finally looked at Hua Cheng who offered him a comforting smile. "Alright, I'll model for you if that is what you want, I don't mind at all," Xie Lian smiled and nodded in agreement gently squeezing his hand in return. 

As Xie Lian waited for Hua Cheng to open his apartment door, he realized that he has never actually been to Hua Cheng's apartment. He found himself to be a little excited. Hua Cheng seemed to realize something and turned to Xie Lian. "You are okay with dogs, right?" Hua Cheng asked kind of concerned making Xie Lian tilt his head curiously. He thought he'd made it clear before that he loved pets and animals of any kind. "Of course I am San Lang, why?" Xie Lian answered and moved closer to stand next to his companion. "Is big dogs okay?" Hua Cheng asked once more and once more Xie Lian felt himself grow more curiously as he offered another nod. 

Hua Cheng sighed softly and gently wrapped his arm around Xie Lian's waist before opening the door. Xie Lian was immediately glad that Hua Cheng did that when suddenly he felt what he assumed to be a very big dog pounced on him. He laughed after a second of shock and immediately started rubbing the dog's fur and also starts giving him head pats and ear scratches. The dog that Xie Lian now realizes has pitch black fluffy fur and a scratch on his eye, which Xie Lian assumed he was blind in, happily accepted the attention and stayed close to Xie Lian, his tail wagging.

Hua Cheng huffed out a small sigh, but Xie Lian could tell the man was smiling. "Sorry about him, he loves cuddles a lot, he misbehaves a lot especially with guests. But I must admit this is the cuddliest I have ever seen E-Ming," Hua Cheng explained leading both of them inside. He led Xie Lian to the couch and almost immediately the dog followed suit and rested his head on Xie Lian's lap. Xie Lian smiled brightly and immediately pulled the dog into a hug, nuzzling into his fur. "I wouldn't say he misbehaves; he is just attention seeking," Xie Lian countered making Hua Cheng let out a soft laugh. 

Finally, it set in once Hua Cheng left to get his art supplies. "Wait his name is E-Ming, like Hua Cheng's feared sabre?" Xie Lian asks as he stood up to follow Hua Cheng. Surprisingly after much coaxing from Xie Lian, E-Ming went to rest in his dog bed. "You know how fun it is to watch people who work with me on projects realize my name is Hua Cheng and then pale considerably when I tell them E-Ming is home," Hua Cheng's response was slightly muffled as Xie Lian paused outside his office where he was getting everything. "Troublemaker," Xie Lian laughed softly making Hua Cheng laugh as well. 

A comfortable silence washed over them as Hua Cheng got out his paint and everything he needed, even getting out a camera so Xie Lian doesn't have to lay there for hours upon hours till Hua Cheng has to get everything done. Meanwhile Xie Lian looked around the apartment nonchalantly till his eyes landed on Hua Cheng's book case and a row of very familiar book covers. "You read Hua Xie's work?" Xie Lian asked as Hua Cheng looked at him curiously. 

"Their work is very sad yes, but I absolutely love their depiction of true love and affection and then the mourning afterwards. I got into their books based off of the Hua Cheng and his Crown Prince's legends that they wrote. My friend He Xuan recommended it to me after some conversations about Hua Cheng," Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian at first feel rather happy that San Lang seems to enjoy his book, then fear realizing Hua Cheng might've just saw right through him based on his motorcycle get-up and then his blood ran cold at the name. 

"He Xuan? Like long black hair, never wears any other colours except white, black, and gold, He Xuan. His lover's name is Shi Qingxuan?" Xie Lian walks up to Hua Cheng rather urgently making Hua Cheng's eyebrows raise slightly. "Yes? Why? Does gege know him?" Hua Cheng opened his phone and showed him a picture of He Xuan flipping him off as he ate what looked like ramen noodles. Xie Lian felt his blood boil. "For how long have you known He Xuan?" Xie Lian asked in a measured and calm tone though Hua Cheng easily saw through it and gently took Xie Lian's hand, offering a small smile. "Since I got into university during my history courses. He... as much as I hate to admit it... has been the only true friend I had for years," Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian calm significantly. He is still pissed that He Xuan never felt the need to tell him and will surely give him a lecture later but for now... 

Even if Hua Cheng didn't prefer He Xuan, at least he had someone he could call a friend. And He Xuan wouldn't try so hard if he didn't see Hua Cheng the same either...

"Is everything okay gege?" Hua Cheng finally asked making Xie Lian nod and smile up at him. "Yes, sorry it's just that I am close friends with Shi Qingxuan, his lover and his roommate and I couldn't believe he hasn't introduced us sooner," Xie Lian offered in response making Hua Cheng laugh and smile brightly at him, the smile making Xie Lian's heart flutter. He really did love Hua Cheng, this wasn't fair. 

Finally, everything was set up and Xie Lian was busy getting undressed for the portrait. Hua Cheng just said to get completely undressed, lie down on the special divan so the sunlight hit his body perfectly and tangle the blankets around his legs to cover whatever parts he felt uncomfortable with showing (it was odd to see Hua Cheng so bashful and avoided using more simple terms for what he meant). Xie Lian did as asked and felt himself relax, this felt like everything was back to normal again, the two of them basically spending the entire day together. It made Xie Lian happy and for once forget about the inevitable truth. 

Soon the sun hitting Xie Lian's face disappeared making him slightly open his eyes. He was met with Hua Cheng's smiling face making him smile back in return. They remained like this till finally Xie Lian cupped Hua Cheng's right cheek where his eyepatch usually was. "San Lang... your eye..." Xie Lian muttered making Hua Cheng shy away from the touch and look away, covering his red eye. The action made Xie Lian's heart ache as he was reminded how much his husband hated his eyes, this Hua Cheng must feel even worse considering now he is literally seen as the ghost king. 

"I know, it's really ugly. I just need it like this when I paint and take photos so I can see properly. Once it is done I'll-" Hua Cheng explained and moved to turn away, but Xie Lian quickly cupped both his cheeks, ushering his hand away from his eye. "You are so beautiful San Lang, thank you for showing me this side of yourself. I think San Lang is beautiful either way," Xie Lian smiled brightly and admired Hua Cheng's eyes. This earned a surprised and embarrassed noise from Hua Cheng making Xie Lian smile even more. He leaned up gently kissing over each of his eyes making Hua Cheng hold onto his hands. "Gege really is too kind..."

After a while of Xie Lian just admiring Hua Cheng as he got ready in some paint covered clothes and putting his long hair in a messy bun, Hua Cheng finally walked up to him with a paint brush and some paint on a disk. "I am going to paint cherry blossoms over your chest, when I take photos of you I want you to arch your back slightly, so your lower back is lifted off of the divan. Once that is done I'll place a pillow beneath your back to keep your posture there while I draw you and the background, then when I get to your figure I'll take the pillow away, sound good?" Hua Cheng explained in a soft tone of voice making Xie Lian's heart melt. He nodded and hummed showing he was ready. 

Hua Cheng started painting on his chest, making Xie Lian shiver sometimes and sometimes he couldn't stop himself from shying away from the cold. Hua Cheng stayed patient and smoothed around the skin he just painted to help warm Xie Lian up. After getting used to the slight cold Xie Lian felt himself relax as he just enjoyed the gentle touches from Hua Cheng. Xie Lian couldn't help but think of how nice this was and how every part of his body just wanted to pull Hua Cheng close and kiss him stupid. 

Turns out it didn't take long for both of their restraints to completely snap...

Hua Cheng got done taking photos from every angle before choosing the best looking photo's angle. He started sketching Xie Lian first as Xie Lian assured him that he can hold the arch till he was done with the sketch of him. Once the complete sketch was done, Hua Cheng started to fill in guidelines on how the sun shone on his body and finally he started filling in the background. At this point Xie Lian was resting on the pillows as he enjoyed the sun and hearing Hua Cheng hum along to the songs on the radio. It felt peaceful in a way, so much so he could barely keep his eyes open.

Finally, he let the instinct take over him and he closed his eyes, not yet asleep but he was sure that it looked like it from Hua Cheng's point of view, thus it surprised him when he heard Hua Cheng's sketching sounds stop. He heard how Hua Cheng stood up and soon felt how he gently twirled a strand of his hair in between his fingers. Xie Lian felt safe, sensing no danger at all, so his eyes remained closed and he allowed Hua Cheng to play with his hair. After a few seconds he heard a small whisper from Hua Cheng as he let go of his hair. 

"I don't know how much longer I can wait... I want to hold you, kiss you and take care of you so much... I want this to be something more..." Hua Cheng muttered as Xie Lian felt Hua Cheng softly smooth his cheek before immediately pulling back. "What am I saying? You seem to be tired; I'll make us food and then we can just relax for the rest of the day," Hua Cheng spoke mostly to himself and Xie Lian heard him turn on his heel and walk to the kitchen. Xie Lian quickly sat up and held onto his hand without a single thought. 

Hua Cheng turned around shocked as he stared at Xie Lian who stared back at him with a slight sense of desperation. Without even thinking of it he quickly pulled Hua Cheng on top of him, cupping his cheeks gently. "If you want to do it so much then kiss me... Please San Lang," Xie Lian begged a bit and finally all of Hua Cheng's resolve seemed to crack. Hua Cheng leaned down and kissed Xie Lian deeply.

It felt like heaven, it felt more like heaven than heaven ever did. Xie Lian quickly melted into the touch as he immediately kissed back. Hua Cheng's hands quickly trailed up and down Xie Lian's sides and even squeezing his thighs sometimes making Xie Lian's legs curl around Hua Cheng's waist, pulling him closer with his heels. Hua Cheng took this as a sign to go further. 

His kisses trailed from Xie Lian's mouth to his neck, leaving bites and kisses and even sucking a few hickeys into his neck and chest. At this point the beautiful cherry blossom tree that Hua Cheng painted on his chest was smudged and they were positively covered in paint. Xie Lian went to pull the hairband out of Hua Cheng's hair and just managed to do so when Hua Cheng pinned his arms above his head with one hand, the other still trailing Xie Lian's side and leg and even squeezing his ass softly making Xie Lian gasp. Xie Lian felt the familiar cloud covering his mind as Hua Cheng tenderly kissed him all over as if worshipping every part of him. Xie Lian hasn't felt this good in years. 

"Gege..." Hua Cheng panted softly as he kissed him even deeper than before.

"Ah San Lang," Xie Lian gasped out softly as his free hand smoothed over his nipple. 

It was all going good till suddenly...

Xie Lian's phone started ringing. Xie Lian quickly snapped out of his trance and apparently so did Hua Cheng, because he quickly pulled away and sat on the opposite side of the divan, looking at Xie Lian's mark covered body. Xie Lian suddenly felt very awkward, so Xie Lian answered the call not even checking the contact. Though he immediately realized it was Shi Qingxuan based off of their immediate question if Xie Lian wanted to drink at their place tonight (Shi Qingxuan doesn't know of Hua Cheng yet). Xie Lian hesitantly agreed as he just watched Hua Cheng's expression go from lust filled surprise, then to full blown shock and now it finally settled on what looked like panic and guilt. 

Finally, Xie Lian ended the call, and they just studied each other as if processing what just happened. "Shit..." Hua Cheng cursed as he buried his head in his hands. "I didn't-" Xie Lian was about to say he doesn't regret a single thing that just happened, but Hua Cheng completely missed it as he stood up and paced around the room getting Xie Lian's clothes and giving it to him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I know you gave me one rule when we started trying for a relationship and that was that you wanted to take it slow and to be sure of everything as we go along. I am so sorry for taking advantage of you being half-asleep. I understand that you probably need time to think about what you think of me now, I am so sorry..." 

At this point Hua Cheng had been talking and rambling the whole time Xie Lian dazedly got dressed and was soon ushered out of the apartment by a panicky Hua Cheng. Xie Lian was about to turn around and ask Hua Cheng if he was doing this because he regretted it, when suddenly the door was shut in his face. Finally, Xie Lian muttered out the first thought that comes to mind. "Fuck..."

~~~

"Then he just shut the door in my face!" Xie Lian was at his almost 3rd glass of whatever alcohol Shi Qingxuan had, Xie Lian found that he couldn't care less. "Ohh that's rough buddy, don't worry we have enough alcohol to last us the entire night," Shi Qingxuan was only slightly tipsy meanwhile Xie Lian was leaning against him to keep his balance upright. He took another drink as he felt a new wave of sadness pass through him. "I don't understand... I don't know why he ushered me out of the apartment like that... I thought he... Did he decide that he didn't like me because of that kiss..." Xie Lian muttered, chugging the drink to stop the burning in his throat but quickly realized it just made it worse.  

Suddenly the door opened causing both of them to look up. Xie Lian immediately realized who it was as he stared at the slight emotionless golden eyes of He Xuan. He felt his anger bubble over, like usual when he drank alcohol, at the sight of him. "You asshole!" Xie Lian shouted causing He Xuan to look somewhat amused at Xie Lian's pathetic appearance and a bit worried. "What did I do now?" He asked nonchalantly placing the grocery bags on the counter before handing them each a pastry so they can sober up. 

 "You knew Hua Cheng returned. You have known this for years and you never thought to tell me," Xie Lian angrily glared at him. If he was sober he would've handled this better as it was obvious why he hid this from him, but now he was too angry and too upset to stop himself. He Xuan paled significantly before cursing silently. "You were the new 'friend' he made. Fuck..." He Xuan sat down on the other side of Shi Qingxuan, immediately receiving cuddles from the tipsy human. 

"You have to understand, when I first met him, he hated Hua Cheng, he hated every bit of his legend and even glared at people who called him that. I wanted him to at least know more of the ghost king before you start falling head over heels for him again because of his likeness to your husband," He Xuan explained with a soft sigh as he smoothed through his lovers hair, kissing Shi Qingxuan's forehead once or twice to keep them awake. Xie Lian figured all of the things, but when He Xuan insinuated that Xie Lian only loved Hua Cheng because of... well Hua Cheng... he felt himself freeze. 

"I do not just like him because he looks and acts like my late husband. How dare you-" Xie Lian was shaking at this point and He Xuan didn't relent, raising his eyebrow in acknowledgement. "Hey, calm down you two, this is supposed to be a fun get together. Get along, will you? And drink some more, you two are too uptight," Shi Qingxuan simply mumbled making He Xuan calm down and take the drinks away from his lover. Xie Lian happily chugged down the wine, now in silence as the two lovers started their own conversation. 

Soon Xie Lian felt himself getting drowsy and lied down on the floor as his two friends took up the couch. Just as Xie Lian felt himself doze off, he heard He Xuan calling someone. His vision faded to black as he heard He Xuan talk into the phone. "Hey, come get your drunk boyfriend..." 

~~~

Xie Lian groggily woke up in what he quickly realized was not his room, his bed and upon further inspection, not even the clothes he wore was his. He tried to rack his brain for answers on what happened the previous night while he combed his hands through his hair that now reached his shoulder blades. It wasn't till he heard the familiar voice despite the ringing in his ears that he realized he was in Hua Cheng's bed...

"Good morning gege, how are you feeling after last night?" Hua Cheng spoke with a smile that didn't reach his eyes as he set a tray with a light breakfast (it appeared to be a small bowl of porridge with some orange juice. It smelt delicious but seeing where he was, who he was with and the fact that he had no recollection of last night he felt dread fill his stomach. Hua Cheng wasn't looking at him directly which just made him more on edge. 

"San Lang... what happened last night?" Xie Lian asked putting the tray to his side for a second as he moved closer to Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng quickly moved away making Xie Lian pause. He did something, he knew it. "Well, He Xuan called me and told me you were drinking with Shi Qingxuan and that you fell asleep there. I carried you home and once we were close enough to the apartment you... you told me you loved me, then proceeded to throw up on my clothes," Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian flush with shame and embarrassment. "How could this get any worse...?" Xie Lian muttered mostly to himself as he covered his face making Hua Cheng laugh. 

"For one you called me your husband, you called me Hua Cheng, your ghost king... you said you loved your ghost king," Hua Cheng spoke as he laughed though it turned from amusement to a self-deprecating laugh.

Xie Lian felt his blood run cold at those words. Fuck, what has he done...?

"San Lang I..." Xie Lian was about to explain when Hua Cheng quickly shook his head. "No, I understand completely... for one He Xuan told me about you and past me as we left the apartment and besides that I have actually known from the start. One project I haven't talked about is that we had to sculpt an ancient god and I chose the Prince of Xianle. That night when we met, I immediately knew who you and your two friends were. I also found out you were Hua Xie early on based on your fake story of your late husband," Hua Cheng explained as Xie Lian looked at him shocked before looking away. "You are... just as observant as he was..." Xie Lian muttered making Hua Cheng wave his hand in a gesture that meant 'not at all'. 

"Why... why did you still want to try then for a relationship if you knew...?" Xie Lian asked as Hua Cheng looked away again. "Honestly... it sounds stupid but... call it love at first sight? I knew I wanted to be with you the second I laid eyes on you at the casino. God or not, reincarnation or not," Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian relax as once again he leaned over wanting to cup Hua Cheng's cheek, but Hua Cheng stood up this time. 

"Gege I really love you," Hua Cheng has yet to meet his eyes as Xie Lian felt his heart sink. 

"I love you too, I love you so much, I-" Xie Lian quickly admitted making Hua Cheng smile slightly as he interrupted him. 

"I appreciate the thought gege, but I love you truly. I would love you even if you were not my lover in my past life. I... I am not your Hua Cheng. I am me and I want you to take some time to really think about whether you love me as me or if you love me because I remind you of your husband."

Xie Lian felt his heart crack as he looked at Hua Cheng who finally looked at him with a sad smile. He wanted nothing more than to hold him close and comfort him, but Hua Cheng shook his head as if reading his mind. "I would never expect gege to let go of his late husband... but I want you to love me for me, that's also why I agreed to taking it slow. I need to go to the university now, but you are allowed to make yourself at home or do as you wish, just give it time to sink in okay?" Hua Cheng finally gently smoothed away Xie Lian's tears to offer at least some comfort. 

Xie Lian almost chased after the contact once Hua Cheng pulled away. Xie Lian looked up at Hua Cheng as the man turned around and greeted Xie Lian as he left the apartment. Once Xie Lian heard the door open and close, he started sobbing as he curled into a ball like he always did. E-Ming jumped up onto the bed and whined till Xie Lian pulled him into a hug as they both spent another hour or so just like that. Finally, Xie Lian stood up and told E-Ming to stay as he left the apartment making sure to lock it with the extra key Hua Cheng left on the counter for him. 

~~~

After a long walk, Xie Lian finally made it to the place he is so familiar with...

Hua Cheng's grave...

The ghosts keeping watch were a few familiar faces who Xie Lian has known since Hua Cheng was still alive. They greeted him with his usual honorifics making Xie Lian smile. They left quickly as usual and finally Xie Lian sat down in front of the grave. He smiled as he stared at his late husband, the familiar feeling of longing and admiration shrouded his emotions. "I found you again... as you know... but... you are not... you anymore. I doubt anyone could be like you. I love San Lang; I love him so much..." Xie Lian whimpered out as he covered his face. 

That's when he realized...

"I love San Lang," Xie Lian spoke again and the words felt normal for once. There were no feelings of guilt or familiarity. It was simply that, he loves his San Lang. He loves him for who he is, not who he was. Of course, he still loved Hua Cheng, he doubted anything would change that. But he loved San Lang for different reasons. He loved Hua Cheng for his loyal devotion and for his company. He loves San Lang for his quick wits, sly nature and his gentleness toward Xie Lian, his patience. Yes arguably both San Lang and Hua Cheng has all of these aspects but somehow it felt different, the way in which he loves them is different. 

Finally, Xie Lian looks up to the face of his late husband, no longer filled with great grief and sadness but now filled with excitement and happiness. "I know what to do! I know what I want to do!" Xie Lian shouted not caring that he got dirty looks in return. He silent recited the familiar password, "Ling Wen, can I meet you in the heavenly realm, I need to talk with you."

~~~

When the door to San Lang's apartment opened Xie Lian was already waiting for him at the dinner table. There was a beautiful trail of red roses leading to the table and only candlelight was used within the apartment. "Gege what is all this?" San Lang looked at him shocked as Xie Lian smiled both happily and nervously gesturing for him to sit across from him. 

"I... I wanted this to be nice for San Lang," Xie Lian admitted as even though the candlelight was dim, he could still make out the slight blush on San Lang's face. Xie Lian quickly helped him sit down before scurrying to the kitchen, carrying the food out to the table where they could finally eat. For now, it felt as if they were walking on ice as small talk filled the room while they plated their food and finally ate.

Once they were both stuffed and happily laughing while cleaning up the dirty kitchen (Xie Lian sneakily feeding E-Ming left over meat from dinner) the air around them felt just right to finally break the ice. "San Lang I thought about what you said earlier today," Xie Lian spoke quietly and gently as he saw San Lang freeze before continuing to dry the dishes Xie Lian just washed. "Does gege have an answer already? I know it is a hefty question so if you-" San Lang was about to rant but Xie Lian stopped him by gently taking his now free hands into his own. 

"I... How to put this. I will never stop loving Hua Cheng. I don't want you to ask the what if questions, the 'what if Hua Cheng came back and I had to choose between the two of you'. But that doesn't mean I don't love you too San Lang. I love you so much, I doubt you realize how much you have done for me in the short time we spent together. I want to be with you romantically, I want to be yours. I love you for you, not because you are the reincarnation of Hua Cheng," Xie Lian forgot all the planning he put into this speech, so he just went with his heart. It seemed to work as San Lang was stunned by the words. 

"So, San Lang will you do me the honour of spending the rest of my mortal life with me?" Xie Lian asked with a bright smile and suddenly let out a squeak as San Lang picked him up and twirled him around, muttering 'yes' all over again. When San Lang finally stopped spinning, Xie Lian quickly pulled him into a kiss. This time they didn't stop and as they both finally tired out from a long night of fun activities, Xie Lian watched as San Lang quickly fell asleep in his arms. He smiled brightly and kissed each and every place on San Lang's neck making his love hum quietly in his sleep. Although the future is still unknown, and Xie Lian could just as easily lose San Lang too... he can enjoy their time together now.

~BONUS~

Xie Lian was woken up by San Lang frantically kissing his cheeks softly. Xie Lian let out soft giggles and hums as he wraps his arms around San Lang's neck. "San Lang, what is this about? It's too early for another round," Xie Lian laughed and felt his heart warm up as San Lang blushed and hid his face in his chest at the mention of another round. "No, I just want to cuddle now I just..." San Lang stopped in the middle of his sentence as Xie Lian finally looked at him curiously, smoothing his hair. "You can ask what you want beloved?" Xie Lian whispered making San Lang finally look at him.

"Earlier, before we kissed... you said you wanted me by your side for the rest of your mortal life. What did you mean by mortal?" San Lang asked and that's when Xie Lian silently cursed himself for not memorizing the speech he had prepared completely. "I... I asked Ling Wen, the Empress of the heavens currently, to take away my godhood yesterday," Xie Lian admitted and this made San Lang pull back slightly. "You did what?" 

Oh, he sounded mad... or was he just upset?

Xie Lian realized how that sounded and quickly shook his head. "I did it for two reasons, first off I want to die when you do so I don't have to live forever without you again. Second off, I have wanted to do it for a long time, now just sounded like the perfect time. And actually thirdly, I wanted you to love me for me too... I don't want you to love me because of my godhood," Xie Lian admitted making San Lang look at him shocked before shaking his head and smiling at Xie Lian. He gently kissed Xie Lian's cheeks and then the marks on his neck. 

"Gege, I already love you for you. You being a god never mattered to me," San Lang smiled brightly making Xie Lian huff softly and turn his head away, blocking San Lang's kisses. "If you are just going to tease then you don't deserve kisses," Xie Lian muttered making San Lang laugh happily. Who could stay mad at him when he smiles like that? 

Xie Lian gently pulls San Lang into a kiss, pulling away before he could kiss back. "I love you for you too San Lang..."

Chapter Text

It started off as a distraction. A simple mission to keep his thoughts about Lord Wind Master's condition and Hua Cheng's marriage joke at bay. That day when things got particularly bad, he asked Ling Wen for a mission, easy enough for just him to complete alone and quickly (before Hua Cheng can come back from dealing with riots in ghost city). "Well, the one closest to you is a love spirit, though I suggest asking the two junior officials for help, I'll send them over with the details," Ling Wen spoke quickly and efficiently before the communication array went silent. Xie Lian sighed but smiled, just happy for the chance of an escape so he didn't have to think about Hua Cheng and Shi Qingxuan.

It didn't take long for Nan Fang and Fu Yao to show up. Both took one look at him and realized something was very wrong, but they didn't question it. "It seems the spirit has been traveling around as a 'merchant' selling items that are supposed to make your partner fall in love with you, but all the people who bought things from this merchant died in a pool of flowers and their own blood," Fu Yao explained as Xie Lian packed what they needed for the mission. "That's really cruel," Nan Fang muttered as he drew the teleportation array on the door to save time. "Well, it is a ghost and a wrath at that so of course it is cruel," Fu Yao retorted back causing Nan Fang to glare at him. Fu Yao shrugged and looked away making Xie Lian smile. 

"Fu Yao can you look around the village it was spotted in last, for in case more people bought these objects or potions and are experiencing pain? Nan Fang and I will capture the spirit and meet you in the village, okay?" Xie Lian suggested looking at the two curiously. Both nodded at the same time making Xie Lian silently laugh. Once Nan Fang was done, they all stepped through the door, closing it behind them leaving the shrine empty. Hopefully this goes quickly so Hua Cheng doesn't return to an empty home. The former prince and his guard greeted Fu Yao before heading to the forest, nearing the cave Ling Wen referred them to. 

Immediately the sense of demonic energy became apparent making Nan Fang wince slightly. "Seems this thing is more dangerous than we thought," he whispered covering his mouth and nose with his hand, glaring at the cave. Xie Lian smiled and gently pats his shoulder. "It's okay, Ling Wen said this ghost has minimal combat abilities, as long as we stay on guard, we'll be fine," Xie Lian reassured as Nan Fang nodded. Finally, after assessing the situation, Xie Lian got out the pot that he intended to keep the ghost in till Hua Cheng can take it back to the city and gestured for Nan Fang to use the sword around his waist. The guard nodded and unsheathed his sword following Xie Lian inside. 

Almost immediately an eerie laugh and a hum came from deeper into the cave. "My, you two couldn't wait till I walked back to the village tomorrow. Is your love so important?" A shrill voice spoke up and in the darkness of the cave, two eyes were looking at them, each a shade of pink. Nan Fang immediately straightened and made a palm torch, engulfing the cave in a warm glow. The ghost was… beautiful in a very creepy way. She had on a pink dress and long brown hair; her skin is the only abnormal part of her. She was deadly pale.

The pale skin gave away her identity. "What are you talking about?" Xie Lian asked knowing Nan Fang will curse her if he spoke. "I can see love darling; how do you think I reach my target audience. Both of your chests emit a faint dark red glow. That means you harbour love for someone, but they don't return your feelings. If you want, I can give you, my potions. All you must do is drink it and that love will come crawling to you," The lady gestured to her bag though the explanation froze both Nan Fang and Xie Lian. 

"How-" Nan Fang was going to ask how she knew that but stopped himself when she only returned a sly smirk. Xie Lian has always known Mu Qing and Feng Xin had feelings for each other, but both begged him not to interfere or say something that might ruin an already shaky relationship, but what about him? The lady said that she also saw the same on him. He didn't love anyone, did he? Though not even a second later realization hit him like a brick. 

Hua Cheng…

He quickly shook away the thought and gave her a polite smile. "Actually, we aren't here to do business. You see we are here as heavenly officials. We want to return you to ghost city where you belong, so if you-" Xie Lian was about to continue calmly when suddenly she seemed to realize what was happening and got out her own dagger. Weird, the dagger was coated with something, could it be poison? Both Feng Xin and Xie Lian understood that although the spirit wasn't a good martial artist, she wasn't going down without a fight. 

Thus, her and Nan Fang quickly began fighting, though it was mostly one sided. She kept her guard up and just deflected the attacks surprisingly well, meanwhile Nan Fang did most of the fighting. It quickly became apparent that the fight wasn't going anywhere as Nan Fang was clearly holding back to not hurt the ghost, so Xie Lian took the initiative and snuck up behind her. He was about to use his spiritual abilities to trap her in the pot when suddenly it seemed the spirit realized what his plan was. A woosh sounded in the cave and on instinct Ruoye shot out and tied her up, leaving her struggling on the ground. 

Xie Lian on the other hand, held a hand to his chest, before pulling it away. Blood, though not enough to be a stab, it just seemed like a slash. Nan Fang was at his side in an instant, bombarding him with questions while Xie Lian stayed calm. If that was poison on the blade then it would be best to stay calm, besides it didn't even hurt at this point, it was just a dull aching. "I'm okay Nan Fang, really. I don't feel any signs of poison or any pain for that matter. Let's get her out of here and quickly get Fu Yao, I have herbal remedies at home that we can use there," Xie Lian quickly reassured his guard before he combusted. 

Nan Fang hesitantly nodded and finally let go of him, allowing Xie Lian to walk to the spirit. He held out a pot and was about to just trap her when she suddenly gave him a devilish grin. "The poison on that knife has no antidote, you are condemned to die, god or not, you are not above love," the lady spoke as a warning causing Xie Lian to stare at her confused. When she didn't speak further, he just trapped her spirit in the pot before going to Nan Fang so they can find Fu Yao.

Once they found him and he realized the situation, they immediately drew the teleportation array to go back to Puqi Shrine. All Xie Lian could think about is if Hua Cheng was back at the shrine already, he would not be happy with this chain of events. And it seemed his luck is as terrible as always because when they stepped into Puqi Shrine, the red clothed man was happily sitting on the chair watching the door to see when his companion comes back. 

Xie Lian stepped through first and immediately Hua Cheng's eyes pinpointed the slash that was still bleeding on his chest. He immediately shot up and hurried over to Xie Lian, holding his one arm steady. Xie Lian was about to explain in a calm tone when Nan Fang interrupted him, the two junior officials stepping through the door and closing it. "He was slashed on the chest with a dagger covered in a weird substance. It is a love spirit who slashed him so you must know if the poison is dangerous or not? If it helps, she kept going on and on about unrequited love" Nan Fang said quickly and straight to the point, handing him the dagger used. 

Hua Cheng seemed furious at this, but surprisingly didn't lash out like many times before. He helped Xie Lian onto the straw mat, so he was lying down, before looking at the dagger expectantly. He traced the blade with his fingers the lifted it to his nose. He immediately frowned in distaste smearing it on Fu Yao's clothes. "Hey what the-" Fu Yao was about to argue when Hua Cheng shut him up with a glare. "Gege, can you give me your wrist?" Hua Cheng asked in a calm but worried tone suggesting he already knew what the issue was. Xie Lian lifted his wrist and allowed Hua Cheng to check his pulse and meridians. He sighed softly in relief before smiling and gently smoothing Xie Lian's hair out of his face. 

"Hanahaki disease. The stuff on the knife causes an illness known as Hanahaki. There is also no cure for it," he simply explained to the rest of them as if it was common knowledge, though it made the three gods pale. "Asshole, why are you smiling if there is no cure?" Fu Yao quickly interjected but Hua Cheng ignored them as he looked over Xie Lian, pulling out a healing cream of some kind, before smearing it over the wound causing the wound to heal instantly. 

"Hanahaki has no cure because it is not an actual illness. It is caused by emotions not your physical body. It is a literal love sickness. Basically, as soon as that poison gets into your system it can't be stopped. The disease spreads to your lungs and causes a flower to grow blocking your airway and finally killing the person either by asphyxiation or by the flower puncturing their lung. But the catch is, the flower only starts to grow once your love for a person is unrequited, thus some people live and die unaffected, others die within a few months. The only way to stop the flower is by the person admitting they love you back and of course mean it. There is medicine but it just slows the plant, it doesn't heal it," Hua Cheng explained with a soft expression, almost in thought. 

"The spirit sold these things to people who wants their partner to love them though?" Nan Fang spoke confused and realization soon dawned on them all. "The higher the kill count, the more esteemed they are in ghost city. Don't worry, I'll handle everything and make sure she is dealt with. For now, I suggest you two leave so gege can rest," Hua Cheng reassured with a sigh watching the other two next to him. After they scowl and wish the best for Xie Lian, both disappear back to their palaces. 

Hua Cheng looked at Xie Lian seriously which made the god laugh softly. Hua Cheng looking upset in his San Lang form always felt very unserious in Xie Lian's eyes. "I feel okay, I promise San Lang. My chest inside and out feels okay and everything," Xie Lian smiled at his companion making Hua Cheng sigh and lay down beside him. "I know gege, it's just this disease doesn't just… go away. It stays with you for all eternity. Any feelings you gather for someone could kill you," Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian lay down on his side, watching the ghost king curiously. It seemed this case hit close to home. 

"San Lang, can I admit something to you, and you promise not to laugh?" Xie Lian finally spoke as the ghost king turned on his side as well to show he was just focusing on Xie Lian. "En, go ahead gege," Hua Cheng promised with his usual sly smirk. "I have only fallen in love once in my entire life and that person is long gone by now. You have nothing to worry about, okay? I promise to be careful and the second I feel something odd; I'll tell you," Xie Lian promised though it seemed Hua Cheng was almost saddened by the confession. But that emotion in his eyes left as quickly as it came, as after the promise Hua Cheng smiled brightly, holding Xie Lian's hand as they always do when sleeping together. "Good, that is enough for me gege." 

The next morning rolls around quicker than expected and as fate would have it, the leader of the village just asked for Xie Lian and San Lang to work in the fields. San Lang of course, the great person he is, agreed instantly and was even better at it than most of the villagers. Though upon realizing they would be doing a lot of strenuous work San Lang quickly excused Xie Lian, telling the leader about his recent injury. After that admission, the leader thought it best that Xie Lian just remains on the side lines and help when someone really needs it (though even then San Lang interjected and helped instead so Xie Lian didn't move much). 

Xie Lian had no chance to feel guilty because he quickly realized that he wasn't needed, Hua Cheng had done almost triple the amount of work everyone else had done, even though everyone started at the same time! Hua Cheng really is amazing and so kind. Xie Lian felt himself smile and admire Hua Cheng; the same feeling of his heart fluttering came back. It was the same feeling he had when Hua Cheng told him that if he throws the dice, Hua Cheng will always be there. Or the time Hua Cheng told him that just one person being there was reason enough to live. 

Xie Lian wasn't alone, as soon after his realization, a whole group of villagers was just watching Hua Cheng do his thing. "Daozhang, is that lad married?" A man asked, and that question made Xie Lian's heart stop fluttering. He hadn't thought about it, Hua Cheng seemed to be against going to brothels so maybe he is married, but at the same time if he did have a wife, then why was he spending so much time with Xie Lian. "Oh, I don't know… he is rather young?" Xie Lian quickly said so the conversation can end, but it only continued. 

"It is exactly for that reason that he should start thinking of marriage!" 

"I agree, such a young man will suffer through lonely nights like this!" 

"If he does have a lover then she must really be virtuous and beautiful, so lucky!"

"En. My beloved is a special, gracious, noble someone who I've loved ever since I was young. Every breath I take is for them, it is me who is lucky to even be married to that person. I worked hard and finally won them over. I won't trade them for anyone or anything else," Hua Cheng suddenly spoke causing the crowd to give way and finally disperse. Xie Lian was frozen as he looked at the grass beneath them. He can't help but imagine a young, teenage Hua Cheng with his arms wrapped around a beautiful girl or Hua Cheng resting after a long day of work using her lap as a pillow while she smooths his hair. Xie Lian felt his throat constrict as he gripped the wooden fence he was leaning against. 

"Gege, drink this. It is really refreshing and helps with the heat," Hua Cheng spoke as he handed the bamboo bottle to Xie Lian. Xie Lian didn't even think about it, he just grabbed the bottle and drank some water till he finally felt his airway clear up. He sighed and mustered up the best smile that he could. "San Lang, were you being serious back there?" Xie Lian asked trying to keep his voice steady. 

"Hm? About what?" 

Xie Lian laughed at Hua Cheng feeling a sense of hope fill his chest. "Your special, gracious, noble someone who you've loved ever since you were a child and finally won them over through hard work?" Xie Lian repeated making Hua Cheng smile slightly. "That was a lie," Hua Cheng answered making Xie Lian sigh subtly in relief. "You liar," Xie Lian teased back just as someone called Hua Cheng over to help. Hua Cheng turned around to help and even took a few steps forward before suddenly he stopped, slightly turning his head so he can see Xie Lian out of the corner of his eyes. "Not all of it was a lie though. I do have a special, gracious, noble someone. I just haven't won them over yet," Hua Cheng spoke before finally going to help. 

Xie Lian felt his throat constrict again, but this time so did his chest. A pain filled his chest and finally once Hua Cheng was far away, he turned around and flew into a coughing fit…

No… no there was no way he could have that disease… maybe he was just still in pain because of the wound… yes… yes that is exactly what is happening… Right?

~~~

Although the coughing fits continued (So much so that Xie Lian just thinking of Hua Cheng would send him straight into another coughing fit), that issue quickly got pushed to the back of his mind. After helping the Lord Wind master escape and then following orders to take care of a few ships that were caught in Lord Water master's heavenly tribulation, it rarely gave Xie Lian time to think of Hua Cheng (especially since the teenager was right next to him most of the journey) or think of the fact that he might be getting the disease. Besides Hua Cheng hasn't so much as mentioned his beloved since that day… It might just be him gaining a cold from the water. 

By far it has just been too chaotic for the two to even have a full conversation about something other than their current predicament, which upset Xie Lian quite a bit. So now when they are finally alone on an island and finally talking to each other after… Xie Lian tried to give Hua Cheng CPR, they can talk about all sorts of things. Yet with Hua Cheng sitting in front of him, keeping the fire lit and graciously making them some hare to go with Xie Lian's salad (just random fruits he picked up around the island), Xie Lian was struggling to think. 

He could talk to Hua Cheng about anything right now, so why couldn't his mind think of anything other than his beloved. Were they lonely waiting back home for Hua Cheng? Why was Hua Cheng here if he had a beloved at home who missed him? They would like to be cooked for, not him. Xie Lian tried to rack his brain for any unpaid favours Hua Cheng owed him, but he couldn't think of anything that hasn't been repaid in full. Xie Lian continued to think about Hua Cheng's beloved and suddenly his chest constricted. He coughed softly like he had the entire mission. 

Hua Cheng noticed and looked at him concerned. He stood up and sat next to Xie Lian this time. "If gege is cold then you can cuddle against me?" Hua Cheng suggested, handing him some food to gain energy. Xie Lian took his hare and started eating, leaning against Hua Cheng subtly. He stared at the fire and Hua Cheng's hands with a soft smile. "You really are amazing San Lang! Whether it be cooking or carpentry you are the best. That noble, gracious, special someone is very lucky to have San Lang's love," Xie Lian praised the ghost making Hua Cheng freeze a bit. 

Xie Lian realized what he just said and felt himself blush in shame. He didn't mean to bring that up! What was he doing?! Did he want San Lang to become suspicious and claim that Xie Lian had ulterior motives in this friendship? Xie Lian was about to apologize and swear to never bring it up again when suddenly Hua Cheng let out a soft laugh, relaxing against him. "I am the very lucky one, the fact that I could be with them is good fortune enough," Hua Cheng spoke with earnest as he started eating his own food. Xie Lian had to suppress a cough as his heart sank. He almost gagged when he felt something in his throat. 

Xie Lian focused so much on keeping the thing in his throat at bay that he didn't notice he hadn't even eaten a single bite of his hare. Hua Cheng of course noticed this and gently placed his hand on Xie Lian's forehead. "What's wrong gege? Are you not hungry?" Hua Cheng asked making sure Xie Lian didn't have a cold. Xie Lian suppressed a cough as he tried to quickly think of a topic change. "San Lang, what is wrong with that person? How have you not won them over yet?" Xie Lian asked instead although the question hurt a bit. This caused Hua Cheng to pull his hand away and look at Xie Lian as if he had just grown a tail, before frowning slightly. Xie Lian felt a pang of guilt, how dare he bring his friend's lover down by insinuating that there was something wrong with them (even though Xie Lian wholeheartedly believed rejecting Hua Cheng was impossible)?

"I wouldn't say there is something wrong with them… It's just that I haven't said anything yet. They don't know and honestly, I am scared to tell them. It would be beneath them to accept feelings from someone like me," Hua Cheng explained with a self-deprecating huff at the end. Xie Lian looked up at Hua Cheng shocked and slightly offended. He gently grabbed Hua Cheng's hands and made him look at him.

"San Lang what makes you think that? Did they say that to you? If so then it really isn't worth pursuing them," Xie Lian spoke sternly as he gently held Hua Cheng's hand. "No, they are too kind to say something like that. I am simply making assumptions," Hua Cheng quickly interjected and this just made Xie Lian's heart hurt more, did San Lang really think of himself as below his lover? Xie Lian sighed softly and smiled at Hua Cheng, squeezing his hand gently. 

"Why does San Lang think that will happen?" Xie Lian asked curiously, maybe if he knew the person then he can help them understand San Lang's emotions. "They saw me at my worst, I doubt they would return my feelings after seeing that," Hua Cheng simply stated it as if it was a fact. Although Xie Lian's instincts were screaming at him to say that if this person won't care for Hua Cheng, then Hua Cheng should just love him instead. But instead, Xie Lian just smiled up at his ghost. "I am sure that person also had a time where they were at their worst, and you still love them despite it all. I am… envious that this person got to see you like that, I wish I knew and understood San Lang that well," Xie Lian spoke looking down as he smiled at the memories they could've had if Hua Cheng loved him. (Xie Lian was so focused on those memories that he didn't even realize Hua Cheng lovingly staring at him)

Before Hua Cheng could answer, Xie Lian suddenly looked up and smiled brightly with a new sense of courage that surprised Hua Cheng. "The fact that someone knows every part of you is an affinity that only comes by chance and that couldn't be begged for. Whether that bond should continue, it's three parts fate and seven parts courage! San Lang should tell them how you feel, they wouldn't reject you so cruelly, I don't even think they'll reject you," Xie Lian encouraged with a smile before he could even realize what was happening. 

"Yeah… I think when the time is right, I'll tell them," Hua Cheng agreed with a happy smile and then looked away from Xie Lian with the same loving smile. Xie Lian's smile suddenly faded and his heart dropped realizing he just told the man he loved to pursue someone else. Suddenly the same feeling of something in his throat came back and Xie Lian quickly covered his mouth to stop himself from gagging. Hua Cheng realized and looked at him concerned. "Sorry I'll be right back," Xie Lian quickly explained and before Hua Cheng could argue, Xie Lian rushed into the forest. 

Once the god was far away from the ghost king, Xie Lian fell to his knees and coughed up a storm. He coughed so much it felt like he was heaving up his lungs. Finally, something light fell into his palm and his coughing stopped in response. It took a while to recover his breath but soon once his vision stabilized, he looked at his hand. He felt his heart stop as he stared at the petals. It was from the same flower that Wu Ming always left for him, just covered in blood now… 

Xie Lian found that revelation rather cruel, his previous love is now cursing him with his new love. Xie Lian looked at the direction where the fire was still blazing, showing that Hua Cheng stayed there based on the faint shadow outlined by the fire. He looked back at the flower sadly. "It's okay, I can't permanently die like normal gods. Worse case is I die and when I come back the plant is gone… San Lang doesn't need to know about this. He deserves to be happy with his beloved, not stuck with an immortal god like me. For now, I'll just try to keep this a secret, it's only for a few months. I'll live," Xie Lian spoke to himself quietly and threw away the flower, covering it in dirt for in case Hua Cheng comes this way. 

Once he returned, Hua Cheng immediately rushed over and looked at him concerned. "Gege? What was that just now?" Hua Cheng asked concerned, gently holding his elbows as Xie Lian looked about ready to pass out. Xie Lian was sure he was as white as snow so he can't lie and say he just went into the forest because he saw something. So, he simply held onto Hua Cheng with a small smile. "It seems the running around all day and the hare didn't sit well. I mostly threw up seawater though. But I feel much better now," Xie Lian quickly responded making Hua Cheng sigh. He helped Xie Lian lay down on the sand before covering him in his red outer robe. "Rest for now gege, I'll finish the coffin and then you can try eating once you wake up," Hua Cheng spoke calmly and softly to relax Xie Lian. Xie Lian nodded and happily allowed darkness to engulf him as he slowly fell asleep, gripping the necklace around his neck.

This is for the best…

~~~

Xie Lian finally felt like he could breathe. Though that was quite an ironic statement considering his condition is just worsening, but he finally had time to think and be by himself. The Wind master's disappearance still hung heavy in his mind and heart, but he was now more peaceful. He spent a few days in the heavens just sorting out all the paperwork with Ling Wen and helping Pei Ming with Shi Wudu's funeral. But now that he was finally back to Puqi Village, he just looked forward to staying with Hua Cheng for a while. Although he knew he should be mad at Hua Cheng for keeping such information from him, he knew the ghost was just finding a middle ground, not wanting to break his promise with Black water and not wanting to completely discard his friendship with Xie Lian. Besides Hua Cheng has been doting on him since the kissing incident, so he really appreciated the ghost. 

Once home, the village chief gave him already cooked meals in bowls for everyone. "This is a thank you to the lad that lives with you, he worked around and did jobs for everyone today, he is still busy with one thing last time I checked. He is so determined! His beloved sure is a lucky woman," the chief laughed, probably trying to lighten the mood seeing Xie Lian's sunken expression. Xie Lian gave a small laugh out of necessity, but he already felt the familiar thing in his throat. He quickly excused himself with a thank you before stepping inside the temple. Not realizing the green clad ghost was inside the house, he immediately started coughing so he can hide the flower petals before Hua Cheng can get back. 

This one was exponentially worse and made Xie Lian want to sob. Once everything was back to normal, he finally opened his eyes, only to be met with wide green ones. Qi Rong just saw him cough up flowers and the all too familiar look of realization flashed in his eyes! It was as if they were kids again, Xie Lian getting a cold because his immune system was weak and Qi Rong looking at him so concerned, as if Xie Lian was going to die any second. "You have-" It seemed Qi Rong was about to continue talking when suddenly the door burst open as if it was kicked. Xie Lian quickly threw the flowers out of the window and wiped his chin before the person outside could see him. Thank goodness he did all that as it was Hua Cheng who smiled brightly. 

"Oh San Lang, the village chief brought us some food earlier, how was your day?" Xie Lian quickly spoke before Qi Rong could even say anything. "Actually, I wanted to know if gege would like to spend the night at my place?" Hua Cheng gave him an innocent smile not even regarding the green ghost (though as it is Qi Rong looks too shocked to even formulate words). Xie Lian almost thanked the heavens for that offer, it meant they spent the day away from Qi Rong who would love to see his cousin trying to explain things to Hua Cheng, possibly ruining their friendship. "Yes of course, let me just tell Guzi and Lang Ying to get inside for the night and tell them about the food," Xie Lian said as he stepped to the backyard, doing exactly that. 

Finally, Qi Rong snapped out of his daze and was about to say something when Xie Lian lead Hua Cheng out. "Qi Rong, make sure they eat and sleep," Xie Lian spoke quickly making sure his words overshadowed Qi Rong's. "Wait I think it's best he comes with, maybe my people can figure out how to take out his soul," Hua Cheng spoke and without much of an argument he changed Qi Rong into a doll. Xie Lian sighed in relief and smiled at Hua Cheng, going to pick up the doll when Hua Cheng stopped him. "Guzi needs taken care of too, take him with and make him carry the rat. Lang Ying can stay with the village chief right? I assume he doesn't want to go back to ghost city?" Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian nod. He quickly explained to Lang Ying what he has to do before turning back to Hua Cheng, holding Guzi's hand.

After that Hua Cheng used the dice and teleported them to Ghost City. It appeared Xie Lian was well-remembered and immediately got a few greetings (the citizens seem to like his presence which made Xie Lian happy). Hua Cheng gave everyone a quick explanation, though it seemed they were more than happy to take care of Qi Rong and Guzi for a while. Hua Cheng then led the two of them to the temple he made for Xie Lian which made him relax and smile, especially after seeing the paper, ink, and the brushes. 

"I thought gege would like to continue our lessons from last time, I get too distracted without you here," Hua Cheng explained and they both sat down at the table. "Alright, how about you write something and then I'll help you from there?" Xie Lian explained, and Hua Cheng did as what was asked of him, writing the same poem down from last time. Yet the handwriting had no difference from before, it can even be said that it worsened since last time! The sight made Xie Lian sigh and shake his head. How can such a smart and adept man be so bad at calligraphy?

"That's enough San Lang… say do you like this poem? You wrote the same one last time?" Xie Lian asked as he sat closer to him, watching the ghost with interest. "I do like this poem the most," Hua Cheng explained further making Xie Lian smile. "Is there another poem that you like? Maybe try writing that one instead?" Xie Lian suggested, yet at that, Hua Cheng immediately shook his head as if the idea itself was blasphemous. "If I like something then there is no room in my heart to like anything else. I will like that thing a thousand, a million times over and not grow tired of it," Hua Cheng spoke quietly and Xie Lian felt his heart ache and a soft cough trail up his throat. 

He stood up and looked away coughing into his hand, luckily no flowers or petals this time. He knew they were just talking of poems, but Xie Lian also knew that Hua Cheng felt the same about his beloved. When the coughing fit stopped the sound of the brush dropping gathered Xie Lian's attention. He looked back and saw Hua Cheng had stood up, he was gripping the table with one hand and the other held onto his right, covered eye. Xie Lian immediately knew something was wrong making him rush to Hua Cheng's side, allowing the ghost to rest against him.

"Is everything alright? What's happening?" Xie Lian asked concerned as he looked at Hua Cheng, seeing he was in a massive amount of pain. Xie Lian suddenly heard commotion coming from outside. "Gege… please leave… Leave as quickly as you can and don't look back… if you stay with me I…" Hua Cheng stopped talking as his grip on the table became harder. Xie Lian looked between the door and Hua Cheng as he debated what he should do. Suddenly everything became more apparent, ghosts were crying and screaming outside yet because of Qi Rong's very human body, it was like he was immune to this. 

Guzi was crying as he chased after Qi Rong trying to keep up with his father, while Qi Rong scolded and bullied the poor boy. Xie Lian couldn't take it anymore and was about to give chase when suddenly he felt arms wrap around him from behind. His breath caught in his throat as Hua Cheng pressed his head into his neck. "I lied please don't leave me…" 

"Be careful, dear cousin! Hua Cheng is a feral dog now! He can't tell friend from foe!"

"Please don't leave… please…" 

"Don't worry, I'll save you like the good cousin I am!" 

"Scram you wretched ghost, leave our lord alone!" 

"Such a waste of a ghost" 

"We'll see who is talking after I get all the monks your lord has wronged, and he is killed! Then I'll be the one ruling here!"

All the screaming made Xie Lian dizzy as he didn't know where to focus and it became apparent that Hua Cheng felt the same as he lifted his hand to blast Qi Rong and the other ghosts. Xie Lian quickly turned around and hugged Hua Cheng close, smoothing his hair and back softly. "Okay I'll stay, I'll stay for however long you need me," Xie Lian promised as Hua Cheng just closed the doors, locking them and then went back to cradling Xie Lian. 

Yet before he could even ask any more questions, Hua Cheng decided this wasn't close enough for him and he suddenly pinned Xie Lian against the alter. Xie Lian was about to argue when suddenly Hua Cheng was kissing him! Hua Cheng was kissing him with fervour, so much so that Xie Lian could barely think of anything else. Hua Cheng's hands roamed his sides and hips and even his legs as he helped Xie Lian wrap his legs around his waist. Xie Lian felt a steady flow of energy go down his throat making him feel all warm and making his body shake. In all honesty, he knows it is wrong, but he would've loved to remain here and allow Hua Cheng to do all this. He even craves it in a way! 

Yet all his instincts took over and he pushed Hua Cheng off, running to the other side of the room. "San Lang wait let's talk about this," Xie Lian said as Hua Cheng made his way over to him. It looked like Hua Cheng was about to pounce on him again, yet the ghost only hugged him and hid his face in his chest. "I'm sorry…" he spoke in a soft tone making Xie Lian's heart ache. He felt the restless energy while he was hugging Hua Cheng. No wonder the ghost kissed him as soon as he did. The fact that Hua Cheng was conscious enough to apologize was a blessing in and of itself. Xie Lian knew he couldn't just leave him like this…

"I'm sorry San Lang," Xie Lian quickly apologized before gently cupping his cheeks and kissing him once more. Hua Cheng returned the gesture and soon it was as if it was just them. It was unfair really. This was like one of those fantasies Xie Lian had late at night when he wished Hua Cheng loved him back and like his wishes where he could only hope for such kisses to last forever. This was everything Xie Lian could ever dream of... meanwhile Hua Cheng barely seemed conscious enough to realize he was kissing Xie Lian. 

This thought was only proven when early morning rolled around and Hua Cheng's energy was much more stable, so he was now just kissing Xie Lian's neck lazily as he was barely awake, drifting somewhere between awake and asleep. Xie Lian found this adorable, so he allowed it as he gently smoothed and played with his hair, both lying on the ground this time. "I love you, my beloved…" Hua Cheng muttered with his eyes closed and then fell asleep just like that. 

Suddenly realization set in for Xie Lian, he just kissed Hua Cheng! He just kissed Hua Cheng who had a beloved! Even worse Hua Cheng imagined he was kissing his beloved while he kissed him. Xie Lian suddenly felt sick and quickly left the temple and ghost city altogether. Once he made it to Puqi Shrine he went to the backyard and coughed up flower after flower after flower… 

How could he have indulged himself in thinking Hua Cheng loved him?! 

Xie Lian went back inside after he coughed up flowers and at some point, even threw up because of all the gagging. He set up a small fire for warmth and then lied down staring at the ring on the necklace. He was a disgrace, using Hua Cheng's vulnerability to fulfil his own fantasies. Like that he fell asleep dreading the fact that Hua Cheng might not even remember this…

Or maybe worse, he does remember it… 

~~~

"Gods you look horrible," Mu Qing said as soon as Xie Lian opened the door. A few days had gone by, and Hua Cheng was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he went to his beloved for help and forgot all about Xie Lian or even worse he remembered their night together and wishes to never see him again. The latter honestly hurt even more because then there was no way Hua Cheng would ever come back. Xie Lian's health deteriorated faster than he expected, so much so he never answered anyone in the communications array. All he gathered was that a new ghost king was coming and now all the gods are needed to help with keeping the ghosts at bay. 

Which was probably why when he opened the door, he was met with a concerned looking Mu Qing and Feng Xin. He offered a small smile in return and lead the two inside, this only earned him a more concerned look. "Your highness, what is wrong?" Feng Xin asked as Xie Lian lied down on his straw mat again, not caring that he had company, he just wanted to sleep all of this away. But he knew even if he lied now and said it was a simple cold, he didn’t want Mu Qing or Feng Xin to report to the heavens with the simple excuse. So instead, he sat up and gestured for the two to sit in front of him. 

Once the two were finally sat down Xie Lian debated how he should start this. Finally, he breathed in, suppressing a cough at the thought of how he got into this predicament. "First off, I know you two are Fu Yao and Nan Feng, really I have known since the beginning. I just thought you two needed time to get to know the new me and I had to do the same for you two," Xie Lian explained causing the two to look at each other and at their friend surprised. They were about to ask more but Xie Lian cut them off by continuing his own story. "That day, a few months ago when we took care of that love spirit, and it slashed me across the chest? San Lang explained that the poison causing the Hanahaki disease lasts in your body for all eternity and that it is only triggered by unrequited love…" Xie Lian explained as his two friends got paler and stiffer each passing word. 

"I... I have that disease now… I realized that the day afterwards where San Lang tried to help around the village and people asked whether he had a wife. San Lang explained that he… that he did have a lover, he just hasn't won them over yet… I tried to be supportive and told him to pursue his lover… I love Hua Cheng I really do, but it hurts," Xie Lian explained feeling tears well up in his eyes. He quickly wiped the tears away and coughed at the thought of Hua Cheng loving someone else. Feng Xin and Mu Qing quickly crawled over and smoothed his back as he coughed. Mu Qing was the first to see the bloody flowers and immediately pulled back out of disgust. Feng Xin stabilized Xie Lian as he stood and threw the flowers out the window. 

"Why don't you go tell Hua Cheng then? At least then you would know if he loved you back or not?" Mu Qing asked as he thought about it, already going to the door to go to ghost city. "If I tell him and he obviously rejects me, then I have to sit through the pain anyway and lose a friend in the process… I…" Xie Lian was about to argue when suddenly it seemed his mind blanked with only one thought. After that night where they kissed, Hua Cheng hasn't once tried to see or question him on what happened, meaning he knew what happened and maybe even rejected Xie Lian already. Judging by the no contact, even if Xie Lian were to confess Hua Cheng would reject him and end their friendship either way… He might as well try… 

After getting questioning stares from his friends he finally breathed out a sigh and shakily walked to the door. "Okay… can you two help me to ghost city?" 

It took a while but soon they were all in ghost city and miraculously thanks to Xie Lian's reputation, got directions to Hua Cheng's new residence. Once there Feng Xin and Mu Qing were instructed to stay outside while Xie Lian could go see Hua Cheng. Xie Lian wondered around endlessly as he searched for any sign of 'his ghost' as the gods in heaven phrased it. Just as he was about to give up searching and go back to ask for a guide, he heard the all too familiar laugh Hua Cheng usually let out when he was around Xie Lian. 

Xie Lian followed the laugh to a room where the door was slightly ajar. Xie Lian peeked through the gap and suddenly his heart sank. In the room was Hua Cheng in a night robe, in bed clearly recovering from the pain each ghost went through the last few days, but it wasn't just him. Hua Cheng's back faced Xie Lian meanwhile a lady in red was sitting at the foot of the bed (facing Hua Cheng and in doing so facing Xie Lian), pouting, and glaring at Hua Cheng while Hua Cheng seemed to be having the time of his life. 

 "Aww you look positively adorable," Hua Cheng laughed which made the lady pull back and glare at him even more. She was… plain. Like Xie Lian knew his poor excuse for cultivator robes and his horrible sunken cheeks caused by malnutrition that lasted over 800 years was nothing to praise but… This lady seemed awfully plain. She was in a normal red robe with pink and white intricate details as well as under robes, her upper long brown hair tied into two neat buns at the side of her head while the lower part cascaded down her back with no sign of other braids or intricate details. Her make up was also very plain, a cheap lip stick, red eye shadow and an almost too colourful pink blush. She was plain… so why was Hua Cheng so open to her, laughing happily and allowing her to be around him when he is in so much pain…

The realization hit him like brick as he felt his throat constrict. Hua Cheng's beloved, this was Hua Cheng's beloved. It was the only explanation that explained Hua Cheng's real smile and laughter and how the lady gave him a glare that seemed fake, but her eyes spoke of silent admiration. She wasn't virtuous or beautiful or even noble! Why did Hua Cheng love her and not Xie Lian… 

"Do it, do the voice," Hua Cheng suddenly requested making the lady sigh exasperatedly before looking at Hua Cheng innocently, too innocently, clearly ready to put up an act. "Oh, my lord, is this convincing enough for you? Is this lowly person enough for you," the lady's voice was high pitched as she clearly put up an act and everything about her just seemed off. Maybe it was the jealousy talking, maybe Xie Lian just wished it was him, especially as Hua Cheng let out another long and hard laugh. "Of course, it is enough, it always has been," Hua Cheng laughed out making the woman's glare even more prominent. "Stop teasing me," the woman still in that high pitched voice pouted making Hua Cheng finally calm down after another fit of laughter at the voice. "Never," was Hua Cheng's only response making Xie Lian feel tears well up in his eyes, his nose and throat burning. Though this was different, Hua Cheng never laughed this openly and loudly in front of him. Only his beloved… He has feelings… only for his beloved…

And that person isn't you…

Upon that realization Xie Lian grabbed the frame of the door, suddenly feeling faint as he covered his mouth with his other hand to stop from himself from coughing. This seemed to get the lady's attention as she suddenly looked right at Xie Lian. The two made eye contact and Xie Lian noticed one special aspect of this lady, she had bright purple eyes and long eye lashes that fit her face perfectly. A look of what might've been recognition flashed in her eyes as she reached out to Xie Lian as if about to call for him. Xie Lian couldn't let that happen, not now, he couldn't stand to face Hua Cheng now (especially in front of his beloved) so he ran off before she could say anything. 

"What did you see?" Hua Cheng's voice suddenly sounded, much more serious this time, though much quieter now thanks to the distance. "It was… nothing… maybe just saw a ghost walking in the corridor," the lady spoke in return though because of the distance her voice was distorted and sounded deeper. Xie Lian ran as he felt tears escape his eyes and roll down his cheek. Once he spotted Feng Xin and Mu Qing, he immediately hugged Feng Xin making the poor bodyguard stumble back. Before he could even ask Xie Lian what was wrong, he quietly started sobbing into his chest.

"Hua Cheng is already dating his beloved… it wasn't me…"

~~~

A few days had gone by since then, still no sign of Hua Cheng anywhere. Although it hurt, Xie Lian has already come to terms with it. Hua Cheng knew what they did that night and now was wary of being near Xie Lian again because he felt used and betrayed or if he was lucky Hua Cheng was just spending his days with his beloved. After the second day of Feng Xin and Mu Qing coming to see him, he begged for them to stop, to just stay in the heavens and then once this is over (once he dies, is what he doesn't say) he would let them know and they can come check up on him.

That was almost a week ago…

Today Xie Lian groggily woke up to something touching his hair, smoothing and combing through it with gentle fingers. It was relaxing which left Xie Lian not wanting to move. His hair must be oily, but Xie Lian couldn't find the will to tell this person off, even more so when he realized there was only one person who would go through all this trouble...

"San Lang..." He mumbled sleepily with a small smile still half asleep. Hua Cheng let out a small chuckle making Xie Lian smile even more in return, finally turning over so he could see Hua Cheng. It is then that he realized he was currently resting his head on Hua Cheng's lap as Hua Cheng smoothed his hair as gentle as can be. He reached out wanting to touch his cheek, grateful that Hua Cheng got the message and lead his hand to touch his cheek. "Gege..." He suddenly sighed with a frown on his face. 

"You should take better care of yourself or at least call me if you don't have enough strength to do so," Hua Cheng explained seeing Xie Lian's face fall, upon his frown almost as if reassuring him. Xie Lian simply smiled and held Hua Cheng's hand instead. "It's okay, I can heal as long as you are here to stay with me. Please stay a little while and I'll get better," Xie Lian gave a bright smile in return feeling his heart beat faster when Hua Cheng kissed his palm. But suddenly it is as if the world turned upside down. Hua Cheng suddenly let go of his hand almost as if touching him was like touching acid (or out of disgust) and when Xie Lian looked at Hua Cheng he was met with a deep frown of either annoyance or disgust... 

"Gege, you know I can't stay with you... I have my beloved. They mean more to me than anyone else does. I can't stay forever... If you feel that way about me then you might as well stop being friends with me. It is for your own good gege, I don't want you to get hurt because I don't love you back..." 

Those words sent Xie Lian straight into another coughing fit. Hua Cheng doesn't love you. He could never love you. You killed the last person who ever could. Who could ever love you after seeing that side of you? You deserve this. Hua Cheng is too good, he would be tainted by your bad luck if he accepted your feelings, this is for the best. You dying is for the best... His mind screamed at him.

Xie Lian had to sit up as the coughing racked throughout his entire body making him curl into a ball on the floor as flower after flower fell to the floor in soft thuds. When the coughing fit was over and Xie Lian was reduced to a panting, dizzy mess, he looked back to see Hua Cheng's expression at what just happened. Would he see shock or maybe even a hint of worry? (Xie Lian thinks he would be able to handle anger and frustration easier than he would worry... If Hua Cheng looks worried he might just lose all his self-restraint and confess right then and there).

But he was met with nothing... 

No sign of Hua Cheng or any traces of anyone for that matter. Oh...

Xie Lian can't remember the last time he hallucinated something. Maybe it was in that coffin, where he would often hallucinate Feng Xin or Mu Qing digging him out or his parents whispering soothing nonsense to help ease the never-ending pain...

But the hallucinations usually came when death was near. Hua Cheng comforting him was his supposed to ease him into dying once more after so many years...

That is when Xie Lian realized, this was the day he was going to die...

With that he started his normal morning routine to make sure everything is set perfectly so he can die and revive in peace. With the remaining energy he had, he made the first meal that came to mind. In other words, the first meal he made for Hua Cheng, who ate it without complaints. Xie Lian ate in silence before going to the door that Hua Cheng so expertly crafted. 

"You really are amazing San Lang! Whether it be cooking or carpentry you are the best. That noble, gracious, special someone is very lucky to have San Lang's love." 

The memory shocked him. Oh, in the end he really was the cause of all this. He made his bed and now he should lay in it. He puts a board in front of the shine explaining it will be closed for a few weeks and once it opens again, he'll be able to help again. He closed and locked the door before going back to the straw mat. Mu Qing gave him a blanket, the same one he was now pulling over his shoulders. He asked Mu Qing specifically for red, which after some thought, his friend complied giving him a red blanket. Xie Lian smiled and imagined it was Hua Cheng's outer robe that was wrapped around him like that day back on the island. He sighed feeling his airway clog up again. 

"I love you San Lang…" He whispered to no one in particular and with that he delved into another coughing fit.

A painful cough rippled through him as he covered his mouth, curling up even more into a ball on his single straw mat.

He didn't even have to pull his hand back to know what was in his palm as the world around him turned black…

~~~ 

When Xie Lian woke up, he found himself… not in his little dilapidated shrine, that much he knew. Everything was a daze. This was not Xie Lian's first time dying, as sad as it sounds. He will regain his senses in a bit, for now he basked in the soft noises his breathing makes and the warmth of the blankets covering him. 

It's over!

His mind reminds him as if it was having a battle with itself. What exactly is over? Is it important now? Should he be thinking of this? He should just wait this dazed state out. What is a thing that usually brings him happiness whenever he thinks of it so he can occupy his mind for a while? Usually in the past when he was trapped in the coffin for 200 years, he thought of Feng Xin and Mu Qing or his parents to keep him sane. But that didn't have the same effect now. What makes him happy?

Hua Cheng does!

The more conscious part of his mind screamed. Oh yeah Hua Cheng. His beautiful laugh that he only let out around Xie Lian. He always wore red, the colour of marriage and luck. His Hua Cheng really is lucky, the colour suits him. His long black hair that would sway with the wind. His arms wrapped around Xie Lian whenever he needed it. Hua Cheng always knew exactly what he needed and when he needed it. Why was he here? If Hua Cheng was his then why did he die? 

Hua Cheng has a beloved… you died because of him…

He didn't know why the thought upset him, but it did. He felt his chest tighten and he coughed. Hard. He coughed until he was dry heaving. All the memories and the situation at hand returned to him as he felt sick. Not just from the coughing but from the realization that it wasn't over. He looked at his hands and realized they were filled with bloody petals. He wanted to scream and cry and yell at the person who did this. He was suffering and it won't go away for the rest of eternity…

Xie Lian brushed the flowers off before pressing his palm into his eyes, so hard he saw stars. He sobbed and sobbed, not knowing what else to do. What was he going to tell Mu Qing and Feng Xin? What was he going to tell Hua Cheng if he even came back? Should he ask Jun Wu to remove the shackles and die once and for all because of a stupid curse? Yet all he can think about is how happy Hua Cheng was that night with his beloved, how he laughed and smiled and genuinely looked happy despite recovering from the pain of the next Ghost King. The look of love and even a bit of happiness from Hua Cheng's beloved also flashed in his mind, he can't even think about taking Hua Cheng away from her. Hua Cheng looked happy and safe, that was all he could hope for… for Hua Cheng… for probably the love of his life… to be happy and safe…

"Your highness! You're awake, please don't press too hard," someone suddenly spoke as two hands grabbed his wrist to pull his hands away from his face. Xie Lian panicked and allowed the person to pull his hands away for the main purpose of allowing Xie Lian to see who this person was. The person had on purple and black robes, very plain but it seemed comfortable to wear around the house. The person had long brown hair that was in a ponytail over his shoulder. The person had a demon mask tied to the side of his head revealing his… very plain face. Xie Lian would've thought it was a poorly thought-out disguise if it were any other situation. But the thing that caught his attention the most was his eyes…

He had sparkling purple eyes that gleamed with fear and concern as he looked over Xie Lian, his long eyelashes that fit his face perfectly. Hua Cheng's beloved. Hua Cheng's beloved was a man and was currently looking after him as if he was genuinely concerned about his well-being. Xie Lian looked around as fear suddenly set in within him. He was in the new Paradise manor, in Hua Cheng's room like he saw that night. He was dressed in soft night robes that were clearly too big for him (most likely Hua Cheng's) and Ruoye was happily tied around the chair where his bloody clothes were. 

Hua Cheng knew! Hua Cheng knew he had Hanahaki disease and died because of it. He even allowed Xie Lian to sleep in his bed and made his beloved take care of a potential home wrecker! Xie Lian coughed again just much worse than the first cough. Hua Cheng's beloved quickly placed a bucket in front of Xie Lian encouraging him to cough up everything he had to. Once the coughing fit was over and Xie Lian settled into bed, Hua Cheng's beloved graciously offered him a cup of tea. "Here you go your highness. It's tea with honey in. The honey will help ease your throat and help you talk without coughing. There is even some medicine in there that will help ease your emotions and slow the flower growth," Hua Cheng's beloved was soft spoken and kind, offering the tea to Xie Lian. 

Xie Lian accepted and started sipping the tea as the beloved moved around the room and cleaned up as if he were a mere servant. Xie Lian couldn't handle the silence anymore and looked up from his tea. "How much does Hua Cheng know?" Xie Lian asked, straight to the point. It seemed the man was surprised and quickly turned to help Xie Lian with whatever he needed. "Nothing much… he knows you had Hanahaki and that you died because of it. I was supposed to go on a trip but before I left, he told me he was going to go check up on you now that he felt better. I was halfway there when Hua Cheng suddenly used the communication array and said he needed help because you… you were no longer breathing or reacting, and you were bloody. That is how much any of us know," the beloved stated the facts as straightforward as possible. Xie Lian can't help but feel guilty. 

"I'm sorry for inconveniencing you and Hua Cheng, you two… I'm sorry for all of this. If you can help me, I'll leave before Hua Cheng comes back and then you two can be alone together again," Xie Lian quickly offered and although his reasoning was true, he also didn't want to see Hua Cheng's worried looks. He knew one look at Hua Cheng will make his body melt and his heart would be crushed all over again. Though this just made the beloved look at Xie Lian as if he was insane. "I'm sorry your highness but I can't do that. Hua Cheng specifically asked for you to remain resting till he can come back, he is just dealing with some ghosts that are still in pain…" the beloved stated making Xie Lian sigh and look at his teacup. It was empty and the beloved graciously poured more in thinking that is the reason Xie Lian was staring at the cup.

It was silent for a while till the beloved broke it. "Your highness… I know I have no right to ask this but I… I want to help. Can you tell me who you love so we could sort this out? I know you were here to see Hua Cheng just a few days ago and I assume you wanted to see him for this issue as well," the beloved asked making Xie Lian tense. Suddenly realization crept inside of him. If Hua Cheng's beloved knows that he loves Hua Cheng, then he might kick him out before Hua Cheng could even see him! This beloved would tell Hua Cheng everything and Hua Cheng would be so disgusted he'd never seek Xie Lian out again! Then Xie Lian can finally die in peace without anyone's knowledge. 

"Hua Cheng… he is the person I love and that I can never have because he loves someone else… he loves you," Xie Lian quickly responded with all the honesty and courage he could muster up, as if spilling all his secrets for this person to take judgement. A look of surprise immediately crossed this person's face and then it got replaced with confusion, then realization, then confusion once more. "I… I don't know what you mean. I know Hua Cheng has a beloved, but it certainly isn't me. I need to tell Hua Cheng that you are awake and ready to talk so we can help you," the beloved quickly explained and raised his two fingers to his temple to call Hua Cheng. Xie Lian quickly pulled his hand away and looked at him pleadingly. 

"Please don't tell him, please. He has a beloved. He has you and you mean the world to him. I don't want to burden him like this again, he has already done a lot for me that he didn't have to do. You have every right to be angry with me or jealous that Hua Cheng spent so much time with me. I… I don't want Hua Cheng knowing this so don't you dare tell him… but I still have the disease. I am going to go to the Emperor and ask him to remove my shackles so I can die peacefully, then you wouldn't have to worry about me. But for that you have to let me go," Xie Lian begged causing the beloved to look at him even more shocked. 

"Your highness you misunderstand… I… I have no right to tell you this, it is between you and Hua Cheng," the beloved stopped himself from continuing, looking away from Xie Lian as if he couldn't bare looking into his eyes. "Please, I need to know… I want to know," Xie Lian begged again hoping if he listened, he could trick this person into setting him free. "Your highness, my name is Yin Yu or rather last time we met you knew me as 'The Waning Moon officer'. I am Hua Cheng's right-hand man, not his lover," the beloved- no Yin Yu explained with a sense of urgency, but he was… honest. He wasn't lying… 

That doesn't mean you are his beloved Xie Lian… 

"Your highness what you saw all those nights ago was…" Yin Yu stopped and looked down, suddenly very conscious about what he say. "Please continue, I need to know," Xie Lian begged further, finally feeling like he might be getting answers. Yin Yu looked at him and sighed with a soft laugh. "I really don't get paid enough for this… What your highness saw last time was Hua Cheng laughing at my disguise. You see… I love the Martial God of the West, Quan Yizhen but he… I caused him a lot of pain and in some ways he caused me pain as well. I am aware that he is still trying to find me and beats up anyone who dares sully my name… but I am not ready for everything to go back to normal yet. That night to cheer Hua Cheng up I showed him my usual disguises I wear whenever I go to his territory to pray to Quan Yizhen. He found them funny, so he laughed and that's what you saw. He said that I was always enough because this is our thing. I am enough for him in a comedic way. Me dressing up this way made him laugh, I am just enough to make him laugh, not in a romantic way. He saved me when I was a banished god and gave me a meaning to life, I am here to cheer him up as a repayment of that… it is the least I could do. He laughs louder with me because he doesn't have to uphold his appearance of a ghost king. He told me once that he was ashamed of that laugh, so he never does it around you," Yin Yu explained as Xie Lian slowly felt himself relax. 

"Having said that, Hua Cheng knows about my beloved and I know about his, that does not mean that the two of us have anything going on. I am simply his right-hand man and severely underpaid therapist. He talks more about his beloved than anything else. So, I know who his beloved is, and it isn't me," Yin Yu explained with a soft smile of idolization and admiration just like a few nights ago, this time Xie Lian could clearly see there was no sign of love anywhere on his face. "Then who is his belove-" Xie Lian was about to ask the most important question when suddenly the door burst open. It was a panicking and out of breath Hua Cheng!

Yin Yu stood up, putting his mask back on and bowing to Hua Cheng as a greeting. "I gave his highness the medicine and he appears to be doing better, he didn't cough once while talking about the person he loves. Though he definitely still has the disease my lord," Yin Yu stated matter-of-factly. Xie Lian looks at him shocked and immediately touched his throat. It's true, he hasn't coughed or felt anything since he drank the tea with the medicine. Hua Cheng nodded at Yin Yu and gestured for him to wait here while he quickly went somewhere out of ear shot. Yin Yu moved closer to Xie Lian and whispered in his ear," Tell him how you feel your Highness, trust me." 

With that Hua Cheng came back and Yin Yu left. It was silent as Hua Cheng sat at the foot of the bed, scrunching the fabric of his robes in his fists as he thought of what to say. Xie Lian could see the sadness in his eye and felt his stomach drop. "I… What happened? How did you find me?" Xie Lian asked deciding that it was a good place to start at least. "I should be asking you that… I… I felt that I needed to go see you and did just that. People in the village seem surprised by my appearance as they told me you have been away from the shrine for a few days. I found nothing weird about that and used one of the butterflies in heaven to see if I can find you, nothing there either. All I saw was the two idiots looking concerned and tired, so I immediately knew something was wrong. I rushed inside the shrine and…" Hua Cheng didn't look at Xie Lian, instead looking out at his own robes. Xie Lian waited patiently for Hua Cheng to continue. 

"You were there on the straw mat. Your hands and robes were covered in blood and petals surrounded you on the mat. When I checked on you… You weren't breathing. You weren't reacting to me at all and looked deathly pale. I… You were dead gege… you died… I… I called for Yin Yu and took you back to Paradise manor. You have been out for almost 2 days now since I found you and… and you will die again if this person doesn't love you back… I can't watch you die again… please gege," Hua Cheng for once seemed to be crying as he quickly covered his face by turning his face away from Xie Lian as he cried. Xie Lian felt his heart sink as he coughed slightly because of an itchy feeling in his throat. 

The sound made Hua Cheng tense as he quickly wiped his tears away so he can look after Xie Lian. The pain in his eyes were clear as he helped Xie Lian lie down on the bed, smoothing his hair away as he intends to put him to bed. "Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay? You need rest and time to think about what you want to do. If you need me, just call with the communication array or if needed I am leaving a butterfly with you that you can just tap and he'll come get me," Hua Cheng spoke with anger and guilt… though Xie Lian could tell it was directed at Hua Cheng himself. 

Xie Lian felt his chest tighten as he thought of what Mu Qing and Yin Yu told him. If he gets this over with and Hua Cheng rejects him then at least Xie Lian knows… At least Xie Lian can move on and think about what he must do now that he lived through it before. Xie Lian grabs Hua Cheng's hand as he was about to leave, making the ghost king stop and look back at him shocked.

"San Lang… I want to talk about it now if you don't mind," Xie Lian explained making Hua Cheng look at him even more shocked. He slowly nodded like an inmate on death row about to get his sentence. Xie Lian sat up and Hua Cheng sat down next to him, his back facing Xie Lian. Xie Lian took this chance to rest against Hua Cheng's back for maybe the last time in his entire life. He felt the ghost king stiffen making his heart sink. He prepares for rejection as he breathes in and out subtly. 

"San Lang I… I have only ever loved one person. His name was Wu Ming. I was cruel back then and didn't realize I loved him till I saw him die at the hands of what should've been my punishment…" Xie Lian begins and at this Hua Cheng tries to look at Xie Lian as he tenses even more at the words, though Xie Lian only hid more into his back as he tried to calm his nerves. "So really I have no idea where to begin…" Xie Lian spoke and once he was met with silence, he realized Hua Cheng was giving him time to think. How considerate, Hua Cheng would make an amazing husband. Maybe that is where he should start.

"I realized I had the disease when you told the villagers that you had a wife… my chest hurt and as soon as you were gone helping the villagers again, I coughed. I brushed it off, letting the cough continue without your notice, I just assumed all the stress of Lord Wind master made me sick. But soon on that day we were stuck on the island, and I told you to pursue your beloved… I coughed up flowers. It was the same flowers Wu Ming always gifted me, cruel, isn't it? I wanted to hide it from you because you had your beloved to focus on. The next time was when we were in the temple, and you went into that murderous and lustful state… I stayed the night to help you. We kissed for hours and hours and it was like a dream come true, but you imagined your beloved and called me as such. I left after that and stayed in solitude as I got sicker. Feng Xin and Mu Qing convinced me to talk to you and so I came here to do just that. But I saw you with a lady who I assumed to be your beloved. I accepted defeat and was planning to die on my own and once I come back the disease would be gone…" 

Hua Cheng greeted him with silence allowing Xie Lian to continue," But it isn't gone… I still love you Hua Cheng, I really do."

More silence. 

"I wanted the beloved I saw that night to be me, I wanted your attention and love."

Hua Cheng continued to stay silent, Xie Lian felt his heart break. What was he doing?! He should've expected this reaction and now it finally broke his calm façade. He quietly started crying as he tried to salvage the situation.

"I understand if you don't love me back, I understand what you said at the temple that if you love something then there is no room for another. I'll leave as soon as I can, and you'll never have to hear from me again. I am sorry for putting this on you San Lang." 

Xie Lian coughed up more flowers and was about to stand up so he could leave Hua Cheng for good when suddenly Hua Cheng turned around and hugged him close, practically pinning him to the bed. Hua Cheng's face was buried in his neck, and he was shaking slightly. It took Xie Lian a while before finally he realized the ghost was sobbing into his neck and was holding onto Xie Lian for support. Xie Lian was shocked but decided to remain like this till Hua Cheng was calm again. For now, he smoothed the ghost's hair and back for comfort. It felt nice like this… like Hua Cheng actually loved him back.

Hua Cheng soon pulled back and stood up. Xie Lian was about to ask what was wrong and why Hua Cheng cried all of a sudden when Hua Cheng kneeled in front of him, bowing his head. Xie Lian watched in shock as Hua Cheng's form changed right in front of him. He recognized the clothes and mask immediately making his heart stop. Before Xie Lian could continue, Hua Cheng stood up now as Wu Ming. 

"Your highness…" 

Once again, his form changed and of course Xie Lian remembered this too. Hua Cheng was now in Xianle's military garments, half his face was covered in bandages as he bowed to Xie Lian at the waist. It was the same soldier he encouraged to pursue fighting and to continue serving in the war!

"I am forever…" 

Again, his form changed, this time to a much smaller being. A child of about 10 years old stood in front of him. Bruises littered his face and arms, showing the kid got into fights a lot. Half his face was also covered in bandages and a wide, innocent eye stared back at Xie Lian. 

"Your most devoted believer." 

Then he changed back into his actual form and looked at Xie Lian hesitantly as he tried his best to continue his way of explaining. "My beloved is a special, gracious, noble someone who I've loved ever since I was young. Every breath I take is for them, it is me who is lucky to even be married to that person. I worked hard and finally won them over. I won't trade them for anyone or anything else," Hua Cheng quoted what he said to the people in the village and finally everything set into place like a puzzle piece. 

"I… I'm your beloved?" Xie Lian asked as he looked up at Hua Cheng, at this point Xie Lian was reduced to a crying mess so Hua Cheng gently smoothed away his tears with his thumbs. "Yes gege… you are my beloved… I'm… I'm really sorry I put you through so much suffering by misleading you… I feared you would be disgusted by me," Hua Cheng spoke solemnly as if he was suspecting punishment. Yet all Xie Lian did was pull Hua Cheng onto the bed with him and hug him close as if they were cuddling. Hua Cheng after a bit of surprise returned the hug and covered Xie Lian in a blanket so he could get some rest. 

"San Lang I can't be mad at you. I hid my disease from you because I feared the exact same thing. For now, I just want to be-" Xie Lian was about to answer when suddenly he let out a soft cough. Xie Lian looked up worriedly, but Hua Cheng just shook his head and laughed softly. "It's okay gege, I really do love you. Because your case was so severe, your body is struggling to finally heal the curse. You will still be coughing up petals for a few days till your body is fully healed, but it won't hurt like before. Though if it only gets worse, please tell me so I can figure out what is wrong," Hua Cheng explained making Xie Lian smile and just lean against his chest. Hua Cheng smoothed his hair and hummed an old Xianle lullaby to help Xie Lian relax. The rhythm was off and Hua Cheng's voice was still shaky because of what happened earlier making the lullaby atrocious. But, just hearing Hua Cheng's voice and knowing he is there helped Xie Lian fall asleep. 

On the brink of falling asleep he heard Hua Cheng mumble," I think I'll stop giving gege flowers for a while." Xie Lian let out a small huff, nuzzling more into Hua Cheng. 

"As long as it's you, I'll love all of the flowers you give me…"

Chapter Text

"Your highness..."

Xie Lian opened his eyes groggily at the voice. At first it almost felt like he was back home, being woken up by Mu Qing each morning for breakfast and then going to Guoshi's classes. It was so realistic that Xie Lian kind of assumed that the fall of his kingdom and the plague was all some nightmare. But that small day dream was slowly fading, slipping silently out of his grasp as he felt small water droplets landing on his face. Where was he? He had a painful headache and had pressure on his chest... was he sick maybe?

"Your highness, please wake up..."

Finally, the voice of the masked soldier snapped him out of his thoughts. Oh right... all the good times were in the past... now he was stuck living out the misfortune that encapsulated his life. "I'm awake, I'm awake, just give me a second," he was too late to stop the venom and hate in his voice as he talked to the unfortunate soul that thought he was still the same kind hearted prince. He couldn't help but hope for the soldier’s own sake that he leaves... He probably will...

Everyone else did...

Wu Ming did as asked and stayed completely still. The only sounds that could be heard was Xie Lian panting and Wu Ming letting out soft, shaky breaths as well as creaking and the soft pitter patter of rain landing on wood. That sound caused all his memories to return to him, the realization feeling like someone threw a brick at him.

Xie Lian and Wu Ming had taken shelter in one of the Crown Prince of Xianle's only remaining temples. It was storming outside, and Xie Lian was just about to sleep for the night while Wu Ming stood guard as always. Then suddenly a crack could be heard, and things were a blur after that. Xie Lian remembers that he was just about to lay down when that happened and looking up as the crack sounded, only to see the roof beam falling to him. He remembers Wu Ming calling out for him and suddenly feeling arms wrap around him, holding his head protectively as he fell backwards and suddenly it all went black...

It seemed the whole temple collapsed in itself and trapped the two inside. Xie Lian finally looked around observing his surroundings. It was still dark meaning he hasn't been out for long, but it was definitely too dark to try and dig themselves up. Though as Xie Lian looked around, he felt the soldier's hand that was cradling his head, move along with his head, still protecting him reverently. Since the ghost didn’t object, he moved around and felt that yes, the soldier was currently on top of him, his head hidden in the crook of Xie Lian's neck. He was shivering and letting out shaky breaths. Something was wrong... something was very wrong with this ghost...

"Wu Ming are you alright?" Xie Lian asked a bit hesitantly, knowing it was stupid seeing as Wu Ming was very much dead. But he couldn't help the small burning feeling in his throat. Although he disliked this soldier's blind following and insistence on protecting Xie Lian, he knew the ghost meant more to him now than anyone else. Xie Lian has told Wu Ming several times to get lost, to take his things and leave, to stop caring or at least to stop acting and looking at him like he hung the moon and the stars. He can't risk growing attached to this ghost and losing him too... He doubts he can handle it again...

But despite destroying everything this soldier believed in, by crushing his flowers, and throwing insults at him like knives (Xie Lian pretends not to see the flinches whenever he speaks even slightly harsher to Wu Ming than expected) and despite Xie Lian showing his hatred for Wu Ming's very existence... Wu Ming...

Stayed...

He simply bowed to Xie Lian when the former god ordered him to leave and left. Every day Xie Lian did this, he would secretly stay up waiting for Wu Ming to come back. And every day like clockwork he returned, probably when the cute annoying ghost thought he has retired for the night. Sometimes he even went out to get money and would come back with small gifts for Xie Lian as well as food when they were in a new town. Once after a particularly nasty fight where Xie Lian, out of rage, clasped his hands around the ghost’s neck and violently pressed, Xie Lian stayed up waiting for Wu Ming ignoring the way he would get a feeling of hope whenever he heard something, only for it to be a bird or wild animal.

Xie Lian waits for longer than usual, but there was no sign of his ghost. Even the wildlife around the shrine has crept back into their homes to rest for the night yet Wu Ming is nowhere to be seen. He began to bitterly smile, proving to himself once and for all, yes, Wu Ming like everyone else always leaves him all alone... (He pointedly ignores the sting in his heart and throat, and if someone were to ask about the small sob he lets out, that is between him and the lonely shrine walls)

Just as that thought manifested itself into his mind and covered him in a blanket of cold and hatred, he heard it. The soft footprints of the all too familiar ghost slowly entering their humble shelter, as if trying not to spook a wild animal. He... came back...?

He felt the soldier stare at him for a moment as if making sure his god was asleep before he tip toed over and wrapped a new fluffy blanket around him. Xie Lian then and there decided he hated the warmth that not only enveloped him from the blanket, but also how his heart and chest and even his cheeks started to heat up. This ghost- how dare he play with his feelings! Does he take Xie Lian for a fool?! When he asked about it that next morning, Wu Ming rejected his involvement and said a villager must've came in and wrapped it around him. Stupid ghost, he truly does take him for a fool...

Xie Lian hates to admit how much he cares about this soldier...

No.

No, he has to keep his guard up. So that when Wu Ming inevitably leaves or something impossible happens like Wu Ming’s soul getting ripped apart, Xie Lian doesn't cry about it like he did when Mu Qing, Feng Xin or even his parents left...

"I'm... I'm alright your highness," Wu Ming simply muttered as he winced and grits his teeth clearly in pain. Xie Lian resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the obvious lie. "I told you before that you should never lie to me," Xie Lian rolled his eyes as he finally freed his hands and very gently wrapped them around Wu Ming’s torso to check on any damage. He immediately felt Wu Mings hands take his wrists and pin them down causing both of them to grunt softly.

"Alright, alright your highness. Just... don't move please. When I dove to protect you, I managed to move you out of the way in time, but a piece of the structure impaled my side. Now this wouldn't normally be a problem but... I think there is something wrong with the wood... I feel really weak..." Wu Ming admitted almost sheepishly as he let goes of Xie Lian's hands, going back to hugging him like before to protect him, most likely from the cold rain. "Just give me a few seconds to rest... I'll dig us out of here now," Wu Ming tiredly mumbled as he almost nuzzled into the man underneath him. It seemed this ‘tiredness’ made the ghost completely mad in the head! Cuddling up against a monster, failure, prince like him! How much more impudent can this ghost be?! Xie Lian was about to push Wu Ming away but suddenly he froze...

They were in his temple...

He remembered signing off on the idea that all of the wood being used would be blessed to make sure that no evil entity could enter the shrine, to protect and ensure the safety of his followers. Of course, that was decades ago and by now those protection seals had worn off but that didn't mean it was completely gone. Especially if it is embedded in a ghost's body. The protection magic could be deterring Wu Ming spiritual energy and if he doesn't get it out soon he would... he would...

"Wu Ming listen to me. Don't you dare fall asleep. For now, take off your mask and bite down on it. I am going to pull the wood out and try to dig us out. Till then stay awake," Xie Lian explained firmly to what appeared to be the barely lucid ghost. "Your Highness... can't do that... my appearance is unsightly... Your Highness shouldn't see this lowly one's face," Wu Ming muttered tiredly and Xie Lian can feel the panic turning over into rage. "Just listen to me Wu Ming else... else... Look just please for once listen to me and just do it," Xie Lian begged for what felt like the first time in years. He expected the ghost to pass out then and there... He didn't want to be alone again...

Finally, Wu Ming took off his mask and moved it, so he was biting on it. "Just... please put it back on before you look at me," he muttered as Xie Lian let out a small sigh of relief. Xie Lian moved quickly as he counted down, once he reached one he pulled out the wood causing the ghost to let out a gut wrenching whimper which made Xie Lian nauseous. He didn’t even want to think about how Wu Ming would’ve wailed in pain if he hadn’t bitten down on the mask. He promises himself to chase Wu Ming away from his misfortune filled life before he commits his revenge so that he never has to hear that sound again.

But now wasn’t the time to think about that, especially when the ghost’s breathing just got a whole lot wheezier and deeper, as if the ghost (who very much didn’t need it) can’t suck in any air to fill his lungs. Xie Lian quickly digs them out till they are both standing in the rubble. Xie Lian first looked over Wu Ming to see how bad the damage is, but he quickly looks away feeling that same nauseous feeling overcome him at seeing a big hole in his side. Wu Ming didn't seem bothered and quickly replaced his mask which made Xie Lian feel incredulous.

Was Wu Ming so ugly that he had to hide it even when gravely injured...?

Xie Lian wanted to order him to take off the mask, his curiosity a much better emotion to focus on instead of his panic, but before he could say anything, Wu Ming suddenly collapsed. Xie Lian quickly rushed to him and helped him lean against him. He needed to find a safe place for them to stay where Xie Lian can give the sparse amount of spiritual energy he has to help Wu Ming heal. Though as he carries the small soldier to the nearest place he can think of he knows one thing for sure...

He needs to chase Wu Ming away as soon as possible...

He can't bear to watch Wu Ming get injured like this again...

~~~

It’s been a few weeks since the temple incident and Wu Ming hasn’t been conscious since...

Xie Lian tries to ignore the dread and worry filling his stomach as he focused on what was needed. Especially after he found a nice hiding space for Wu Ming, a cave far enough in the forest that only wild life might stumble upon him, it has a nice opening where Wu Ming can bathe in the sun during the day and has enough protection from the cold during the night. Xie Lian hates how nice it feels to take care of the ghost by feeding him, exchanging spiritual energy by holding his hand and tucking him in for the night while he stays near the fire, not desiring sleep anyway.

His daily tasks consist mostly of waking up in the morning (if he managed to fall asleep at night), going to collect souls on the battlefield where he usually meets White-no-face who ‘kindly’ asks him when the curse will be done, he then goes busking for money (which he uses to buy food for the him and his ghost, or the occasional change in clothes and blankets if he had enough) before returning home back to the ghost and spending the rest of the time taking care of him....

Which, considering it’s been a few weeks of this, and Wu Ming is fully healed except for some bruises, is a good enough reason for that dread to be filling his stomach. He reasons with himself that Wu Ming is breathing, which as a ghost he doesn’t even need to do, so he must be okay... But why isn’t he waking up?! Xie Lian can’t understand why, when Wu Ming is involved, he feels frustrated to the extreme. As much as he tries to tell himself that it is proof of his hatred for the ghost, he knows it is the small part of himself still clinging to the last person he cares for.

Today was like any other, Xie Lian doing his daily tasks and coming home, this time with no food. He simply has a stale bun which he eats himself seeing as Wu Ming can’t exactly chew. He only felt a little guilty as he eats while the ghost can’t (he knows ghosts don’t need to eat, just as much as they don’t need to breath, but he likes seeing Wu Ming do both so while Wu Ming can’t object to being cared for, he wants this). He is currently staring at the comatose ghost feeling his frustration turn to rage. How dare this ghost not wake up even after Xie Lian has been taking care of him for almost a month?! How dare this ghost waste his time when he could actively be getting his revenge?! How dare this ghost leave him too?!

Xie Lian crawls over to Wu Ming with a glare, planning on shaking him till he wakes up but as he raises his hands, he freezes. Wu Ming is still wearing his mask. After all that has happened, Xie Lian hasn’t removed the mask seeing as even in a delirious state, Wu Ming seemed intent on keeping it right where it was now. Even when Xie Lian dressed Wu Ming in new sleeping robes to ease the ghost through recovery, he hasn’t moved it an inch. Now this frustration he feels is making his fingers move to the mask. Why does his ‘most devoted follower’ wear a mask in front of the person he says he trusts the most. Maybe he can sneak a peek at his follower while he sleeps, consider it as a reward for caring for him...

Won’t this make Wu Ming hate me?

That’s what he wants doesn’t he? Wu Ming will leave anyway, so why not rip the band aid off now? Why not cross a clear boundary Wu Ming has set so he realizes how far Xie Lian has fallen and leave him too? Before this ends, before Xie Lian gets his revenge and hopefully dies with it, he wants Wu Ming gone to live his own life away from Xie Lian’s misfortune. Thus, Xie Lian kept moving...

He slowly lifted Wu Mings head from the pillow, untying the strings that kept the mask to his face...

He gently placed the ghosts head on his lap, removing his own mask to look at his follower...

He stays frozen for a while, contemplating if his curiosity was really worth it. Finally, he lifted the mask away from his face...

Xie Lian feels his breath caught in his throat as he stares at his face. Wu Ming was beautiful. Although he had obvious flaws like his sunken cheeks from years of malnutrition, like his nose which isn’t perfectly straight, most likely because of fights that never healed properly... but Wu Ming is beautiful.

His lips are pump and slightly red despite the lack of blood flow. He has his lips slightly ajar to breath, revealing fangs like those scary demon stories he used to hear, but though he should be terrified he finds it adorable. He has smooth skin with a few scratches and scars, but further no blemishes. His pointy ears perfectly fits his face and makes him look so adorable (Xie Lian has realized that his ears twitch in his sleep, they lower like a dog’s when sad). He has dark eyebrows, neither too thin nor thick as it perfectly fits his face and hair. All in all, Wu Ming was definitely too beautiful for Xie Lian’s poor heart which was currently beating out his chest.

Wu Ming was clearly attractive, especially for the circumstances that can be seen in the multitude of scars and his poorly healed nose. It’s clear if Wu Ming didn’t wear a mask, he’d probably get just as much attention as Xie Lian did when he was Wu Ming’s age. So why... why did this beautiful creature feel the need to hide? Was it because of Xie Lian? Knowing how cruel he treated this beautiful and kind ghost... probably.

Xie Lian leaned down and gently rested his forehead on Wu Ming’s. “I’m sorry...” He simply whispered as he stopped himself from shaking and letting a few tears slip. He doesn’t know exactly for what or actually to who he is apologizing. As he closed his eyes he thought of his parents, his friends... his last believer. All of them deserve an apology from him. He intended to stay there for a while and bask in Wu Ming’s presence when he suddenly felt Wu Ming gasp. “Your Highness...”

Xie Lian pulled back in a haste and dropped the mask that was still in his hand. Fuck, fuck, fuck...

Xie Lian was in a panic, wondering if he should:

A) Explain and get ready for Wu Ming to leave

B) Put up those barriers he has broken down since caring for Wu Ming

C) Run

In the end he chose the simple answer which is none of the above. Instead, he chose:

D) Shamelessly gawk at your last believer becoming even more beautiful

Xie Lian was ready to run as he straightened up, when suddenly as Wu Ming sat up he realized something, namely his eyes. Wu Ming had one dark black eye that he feels like he could get lost in. It was beautiful and once more fit perfectly with the ghost. And then his other eye was a shining, crimson colour, the pupil more the shape you would expect a cat’s to be. Although it was odd, definitely so, Xie Lian couldn’t help staring at them, admiring the face of his believer.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, he can’t be thinking like this! Wu Ming has to leave. He can’t start falling in love with the ghost now! Not when he will most likely end up leaving any second now!

(Xie Lian ignores how useless that statement is, he can’t remember a time where he hasn’t loved Wu Ming. But this realization only comes later in a lonely and dark coffin as he prays for his last believer to hold him)

Xie Lian gets ready to run when suddenly Wu Ming’s tiredness seems to fade. His eyes dart to the mask and then Xie Lian’s (probably terrified or frozen) expression and he realizes what has happened. He quickly covers the beautiful red eye and looks even more terrified than Xie Lian. And then he does the unthinkable...

He kneels in front of Xie Lian, his forehead banging against the cave floor repeatedly making Xie Lian wince. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Your Highness! I beg you would forgive this one!” Wu Ming pleaded with the shell shocked Xie Lian making him finally snap out of it. Xie Lian reaches out to pet Wu Ming’s head when suddenly the ghost started shouting again. “I know what it must look like Your Highness! Such a cursed creature following someone like you! I promise I was just trying to help... I was just trying to be of use to His Highness... but if you find me unsightly, I can only beg for a quick dispersion...” Wu Ming begged in a soft voice as it seemed he was ready to cry. Xie Lian wanted to pull the ghost in for a hug and reassure him that ‘yes, yes Wu Ming you are helping’ but then that last sentence pierced a blade through Xie Lian’s heart. The weeks of anger suddenly caught up to him (he also realized later that the vengeful evil spirits from the sword on his back can also be at fault) and he suddenly pinned Wu Ming down to the bed by gripping his neck. Red filled his vision as he glared at the ghost.

“How dare you! I have spent weeks of my life, weeks I could’ve spent getting revenge on Yong’An making sure you don’t disperse. Yet now you grovel for it, from me at the very least. I am in the mood to disperse you just for that statement alone,” Xie Lian laughed maniacally as he tightened his grip on Wu Ming’s throat (he doesn’t miss Wu Ming’s hands going up to claw at his wrists then stopping and just holding his arm instead). He thinks he hears Wu Ming mutter out “Your Highness...” but he ignores it. “If you truly think me so shallow that I’ll disperse you just for your looks... you truly have mistaken me for someone else. Go... go back to the god you so desperately worship,” Xie Lian feels the anger slip from his bones as he yells at Wu Ming to leave.

He lets the ghost go and walks to the fireplace. He sits with his back facing Wu Ming as he stares at the fire. He’s done it now. Now Wu Ming will leave for good, and Xie Lian can focus on his revenge and hopefully his death thereafter. He never thought he’d die alone but as he thinks about it, if Wu Ming thought him so hateful as to disperse him just for his looks, if Mu Qing and Feng Xin had to leave him to make something of themselves, if his parents would rather die by their own hands than live with him... maybe he does deserve to die alone.

Xie Lian hears how Wu Ming stands and he gets ready for the tears he know will come when he leaves. But it never comes. Instead, he feels the ghost put the blanket over his shoulder as he sits next to him looking at the fire as well. “Your Highness is a kind god... I know that... I’m sorry for hiding myself. It isn’t that I expected Your Highness to hate me for my eye, you are too kind for that. My life hasn’t been an easy one, when people found out about my eye, they chased me away. So much so that I just got used to hiding it, even from Your Highness. It isn’t that I think bad of Your Highness...” Wu Ming talks more now than Xie Lian has ever heard him talk before. He finds his heart beating faster as it swells with care. He pushes it down and finishes his sentence:

“You just think bad of yourself?”

The silence is answer enough.

Xie Lian sighs and although his instincts screamed at him to pull the ghost closer and whisper: “Wu Ming is beautiful, my Wu Ming is beautiful” he ignores it. He stands up and coldly looks at the ghost. “Wu Ming, frankly I don’t give a shit how you look like... You’re not ugly as those people say you are. But the mask is needed for when we are outside. I would like to see you more like this when we are alone, just so I can trust you more,” Xie Lian whispers in the silent air. Wow Xie Lian, say you want to ogle him, without saying you would like to ogle him.

Yet even though he expected Wu Ming to be visibly uncomfortable or disgusted, he just stared at Xie Lian with those beautiful eyes as if the fallen god has just hung the stars for his believer. Xie Lian felt sick, utterly sick so he looked away and went to bed that he made for Wu Ming to sleep in. “Sit by the fire and recover for a while more. Tomorrow we continue to collect souls,” Xie Lian ordered the believer as he lied down, his back facing the ghost.

That night Xie Lian dreamt of his beautiful Wu Ming and when he awoke in the morning to those gentle eyes and smile no longer covered by the mask... he really felt this was better than heaven...

~~~

“Why are you doing this?” Xie Lian asks one night.

“Making dinner for Your Highness? Well, you are tired and need food?” Wu Ming spoke, his voice and small smile no longer muffled by the mask. Xie Lian hated the laugh he barely stopped.

“No, why do you want revenge so much that you are following the fallen prince of Xianle?” Xie Lian asked, his speech slightly slurred from the alcohol, currently in Wu Ming’s possession. As a thank you for hunting some food, a wine distributor actually gave them some. Although Xie Lian hated the prize at first, now as he watched Wu Ming make them some hare stew (that Wu Ming managed to hunt) with rice, he couldn’t help feeling thankful for the alcohol. At least for once he has something to blame for the swell in his chest as he admired Wu Ming in the gorgeous fire light he is currently bathed in. Wu Ming has stopped wearing his mask while they are alone and Xie Lian can’t be more thankful... nonchalant about it.

The glow of the fire can’t hide Wu Ming’s slightly pink hued cheeks and even the points of his ears are pink from the alcohol consumption. He was so beautiful, Xie Lian thinks he can watch Wu Ming forever and not tire of it...

“Does Your Highness want the honest answer?” Wu Ming asks with a sly smile as he glances at Xie Lian before looking back at the food. He takes occasional sips of the alcohol but has banned Xie Lian from drinking till he has at least eaten a bit (Xie Lian didn’t struggle as Wu Ming took the alcohol, not wanting a repeat of what happened in front of that ghost fire). “Which one do you think?” Xie Lian coldly responded as he raised an eyebrow at his follower, but he realized that Wu Ming saw the quick unrestrained smile he accidentally showed. You know what, nevermind Xie Lian will never drink again-

“Well, my reason will always be Your Highness. I promised to follow you, so I intend to do so. But there’s another reason too...” Wu Ming admitted. At first Xie Lian kind of expected that answer but when he heard there was more he was intrigued. He remembered his father telling him that if you want someone to tell more, just stay silent till they continue talking. It ended up working as soon Wu Ming spoke up again, looking up at the starry night sky with a full smile on his face.

“I have a beloved who is still in this world. My brave, noble and virtuous person, I continued living past death for them, and I intend to do just that. They don’t remember me fondly, I’m sure of it. But they were hurt by this war, I want to get revenge for them,” Wu Ming explained with a wistful and adoring tone. Xie Lian looked at the ghost in shock, feeling the air leave his lungs as he went through several emotions all at once.

Guilt: Such a wonderful person with a (probably) wonderful lover suffered because of me...

Anger: If you are so obsessed with this person, why not be with them. Why follow me around like a lost puppy?

Sadness: Is it that Wu Ming doesn’t remember her after death, just that he has a beloved and that he needs revenge to move on? Is Wu Ming going to disappear after I set the curse free?

Jealousy: What makes his beloved so special that they are ‘noble, brave and virtuous’? Will he leave me for her when he sees her again? Why? Why can’t Wu Ming be mine...?

Finally, his drunk mind came up with the best fitting emotion, curiosity (as if the sting in his heart, throat and eyes at the prospect of Wu Ming finally having a reason to leave him isn’t enough). “How fitting for you. Well, who is she?” Xie Lian tries his best to nonchalantly ask as he studied Wu Ming who at this point was handing him a bowl with their food in. “I... don’t think Your Highness will know them. But they are my everything, I would sacrifice anything to...” Wu Ming pauses as if thinking for a while before settling on a thought. “I am worth nothing to them, a simple stepping stone. What I want is selfish...” Wu Ming spoke, and Xie Lian looked at the ghost shocked.

Wu Ming said he wasn’t well remembered or even well-liked... If this lover doesn’t want him, Xie Lian would gladly keep this ghost, thank you!

Xie Lian resisted the urge to giggle at his own thoughts, instead he stared at the ghost while they ate. Xie Lian admired the bob of Wu Ming’s Adam apple as he swallowed small spoonful’s of the stew and rice as he thought of what Wu Ming said. Maybe when the time comes, Xie Lian can force Wu Ming away from Lang’Er Bay by ushering him to go see his beloved. It wouldn’t be Wu Ming’s revenge then... but he can still take care of her till she’s old and frail and then pass on when she does. It’s as simple as that. Wu Ming will be happy, maybe even more so when Xie Lian is finally gone too. She’s lucky to have someone like Wu Ming... hopefully she realizes it soon...and treat him better than Xie Lian ever did...

It was silent until they settled in for the night, both taking turns with sips so they can finish the wine before heading off to bed. Xie Lian felt his curiosity spike as he watched Wu Ming dazedly looking at the moon, clearly tipsy. “You said your wants are too selfish for your beloved. What are these wants?” Xie Lian asked curiously as he unconsciously moved closer to the ghost where they both lie in a field looking at the sky. He hoped he wasn’t walking right into a pervert’s dream, but Wu Ming seemed genuine with his soft adoration, even viewing himself as lesser than his beloved. Wu Ming was silent for a while, so much so Xie Lian assumed he didn’t want to answer so he closed his eyes to sleep. Finally, Wu Ming spoke up in a soft whisper making Xie Lian admire the man from the side.

“I want to hold him, card my fingers through his hair. I want to sing for him like my mom used to for me. I want to build a palace... a home for him where even if he hates me, he can live in comfort and luxury. I want him to myself, be able to call him mine... I know this is selfish because he doesn’t even remember me,” Wu Ming explained in a soft voice as Xie Lian saw the pain in Wu Ming’s trembling lip and rapidly blinking eyes.

Wu Ming deserves better than this lover...

As if I’m better...

Instead of voicing his thoughts Xie Lian simply moved closer to Wu Ming until his head was resting on the ghost’s chest. Whether the next words were out of pure drunkenness or from weeks of pining for this ghost, Xie Lian will never know, but he’ll forever remember and cherish this memory. “Try it out on me, the first three I mean. If...you want to and you’re not saving it for this beloved,” Xie Lian offered in a shy, but serious manner.

It took a while, where Wu Ming was completely frozen before finally Xie Lian felt Wu Ming hug him. It was so comfortable... Wu Ming was gently smoothing his back with one arm and the other rested on Xie Lian’s cheek, gently caressing the soft skin of his cheek, his thumb rubbing the dark circles under his eyes. Xie Lian felt tears spring to his eyes as he felt the gentle touches. This was heaven.

Soon the soft touches travelled from his back to his hair, where Wu Ming started gently combing through Xie Lian’s now loose hair making Xie Lian nuzzle into the ghost, hiding his face in his chest. He heard Wu Ming’s chest rumble and though at first he was confused he soon recognized it, Wu Ming was laughing. The beautiful sound made Xie Lian smile for the first time in a long time as he moved his own hand to Wu Ming’s chest. Wu Ming’s other hand trailed from his cheek to hold onto his hand instead. Xie Lian truly felt relaxed for the first time since... well since he started learning under Guoshi.

And then, as if his chuckle wasn’t beautiful enough, Wu Ming started humming and then singing a soft and romantic lullaby as he continued to comfort Xie Lian. The fallen god felt like crying, felt like gripping onto the ghost and never letting go, felt like this was a truer heaven than any god has ever experienced. Xie Lian continued to listen to Wu Ming as soon tiredness overtook him, and he rested more against the ghost. Wu Ming stopped and made to move but Xie Lian held on.

“Stay... at least till I fall asleep. This is an order from your prince,” Xie Lian frantically spoke as if Wu Ming moving right now was akin to ripping something away from Xie Lian. Maybe it was. Wu Ming relented without much fight, settling to hold Xie Lian to protect him from the cold, luckily the fire was still lit so they weren’t freezing anymore. Xie Lian relaxed feeling Wu Ming settle again, not caring how selfish he was being. Xie Lian felt himself slowly drift to sleep but before he could sleep he spoke up:

“Your beloved is a lucky person to have you.”

“I am the lucky one to even be in their presence.”

Wu Ming answered continuing the soft back massage he was giving Xie Lian. Xie Lian ignored the stinging in his throat as he snapped back into reality realizing this affection was never his to keep, to hold. He was thankful that he only shed one tear before sleep over took his mind and body.

~~~

It happened so fast.

“Xianle.”

Wu Ming, Wu Ming, where was his ghost? He was just here. That’s right he has to find his ghost! Wu Ming was just in front of him. He was smiling. Smiling, smiling, smiling. He was happy to see Xie Lian safe and (mostly) unharmed. The ghost’s hand caressed his own in a gentle manner...

“Xianle.”

Screaming, screaming. Why was Wu Ming screaming? He has to find him, to hold him. Wu Ming, where was he? WHY CAN’T HE FIND HIS GHOST?!

“Xianle!”

Xie Lian finally snapped out of it as he looked up at the concerned eyes of the Heavenly Emperor. “Your Majesty? Where’s Wu-?” Xie Lian’s one tracked mind immediately looked around searching for the ghost. He let out something akin to a gasp, no it sounded more like a whimper-screech mix as he saw the sword and flower on the ground. He ignored Jun Wu and ran to the sword and the flower, cradling both to his chest as he screamed and cried and cried and cried and cried-

It all happened so fast. He remembers collecting the souls with Wu Ming and in his gut he knew he had enough to release the human face disease on all of Yong’An. He should’ve been happy, he should’ve been proud and filled with the need for revenge, but as he looked at the ghost picking flowers in a secretive manner, Xie Lian couldn’t help but feel dread fill his body. Wu Ming’s time with him has come to an end, he must make this ghost leave him before more harm is done to him. So, their way home and even their once conversation filled dinner was now silent. Xie Lian stepped outside and soon came back to find another flower on his statue even when he asked Wu Ming not to do that.

He remembers screaming at the ghost, throwing the flower to the floor and crushing it beneath his feet, like he has done many times already but now he just felt a sense of finality...

He remembers feeling guilty as he watches the ghost’s once ever care free expression turn to a shocked, then sad and finally a neutral expression as the flower is crushed beyond recognition.

He remembers taking the sword, ordering Wu Ming to return to his beloved and give them the flowers instead of his pity to the fallen Prince of Xianle and then stabbing himself without waiting for a response.

The rest is a blur in his memories. He thinks someone gave him a bamboo hat to cover his face in the rain. He thinks White-no-face showed up and they exchanged words. It seems like he didn’t want to release the curse anymore, yet the ghost, who haunted him for years, forced him to release it onto himself instead. The next thing he feels is Wu Ming grabbing the sword from his hand and running away with it. The curse that was released instead imbued itself in Wu Ming as the spirit was evaporated. Xie Lian remembers hearing screams, yet he doesn’t know if it was his own or the ghost’s.

“Xianle, breath. The ghost is gone but you can ascend now and make his death not be for nothing,” a gentle hand on his shoulder brought Xie Lian out of his panicked frenzy. Finally, he fills in the missing gaps that after a fight with White-no-face, Jun Wu descended and killed the vile creature while Xie Lian was left frozen after a hit. Wu Ming is gone, totally gone. White-no-face said so and now Jun Wu confirmed it. Xie Lian’s breathing that has calmed since being brought back to the present now becomes ragged again as he stares at the sword and Wu Ming’s crushed flower that he has given him recently.

“No...”

“No?”

“I don’t want to be a god again. I don’t deserve it after Wu Ming... I never deserved it in the first place,” Xie Lian cried out as he tried to come to terms with his ghost... no his first love’s death...

Oh...

Oh...

Wu Ming never got to say goodbye to his beloved...

Xie Lian shook Jun Wu’s hand off his shoulder as he curled in on himself like he used to when he was younger, just letting himself cry. He heard the man above him sigh in exaggeration before deciding to just continue talking. “Don’t be like this Xianle, you know I have no say in those things. You are meant to ascend- “Jun Wu continues but Xie Lian in all honesty feels fed up with his words already. “Then banish me, I don’t want to be a god. Place a cursed shackle on me. Please Your Majesty, please,” Xie Lian begs, now on his knees in front of Jun Wu, his forehead pressed into the ground.

After a while of silence, Jun Wu sighed once more. “You have forced my hand Xianle, but I do expect you to keep in contact with the heavens and cultivate so you can ascend properly again,” Jun Wu leaned down, reaching to place a cursed shackle when Xie Lian stopped him. “I’m sorry Your Majesty but can you also seal my luck with the shackle? I don’t want a repeat of today happening ever again,” Xie Lian asked in a soft voice, still not meeting the Emperor’s eyes. He simply got a nod in response as he felt the hand encircle his ankle before he felt all the spiritual energy drain out of him. He suppressed a whimper at the feeling, just studying the new (still painful) mark on his skin.

“Thank you, Your- “

“Before you thank me, I left an ability for you to use your powers on. It might make living a bit easier,” Jun Wu explained making Xie Lian finally look up at him.

“And that is?”

~~~

Xie Lian spent the rest of the day in a daze. He walked back to the temple him and Wu Ming has been staying in the last couple of the days. Once there he just collapsed in the garden of the temple where some of his blood is still visible from where he stabbed himself.

He cried as he took out the supplies he bought with the rest of the money he still had left over from their time together and started building a grave stone for the ghost all while crying and letting out soft whimpers as he felt his heart break all over again. He should’ve been the one dead today, Wu Ming should have moved on yet now here he is, carving Wu Ming’s name (or lack thereof) into the grave stone along with a few flowers designs of the edges. He swallowed his tears and grabbed the incense burner from inside the temple before lighting a few incense sticks and putting it in front of the grave. And finally with the ability Jun Wu gave him, he made flowers (Wu Ming’s favourite ones to pick) grow all along the edge of the grave. The beautiful edition made him smile a bit as he kneeled down and kowtowed to the grave.

Xie Lian was quiet for a while before letting out a shuddering breath and all while staying in the kneeling position he started talking. How silly of him, to beg for forgiveness and to beg Wu Ming to return, stay, have a good and happy life when he reincarnates. He should be grovelling at Wu Ming’s feet; he should be fucking dead. But now, now all he can do is beg and talk to a grave which once was his last believer. He can’t even give him a proper burial without his remains, can’t even fucking send him off properly. Wu Ming really worshipped a useless god.

It wasn’t until dawn the next day that Xie Lian moved from his kneeling position. He hugged the grave with a small smile, knowing where or rather what he wants to do next. “Wu Ming... I’m sorry your purpose in life was cut short but I promised to help you, didn’t I? I want to find your beloved and tell them how much you loved them. Maybe apologize if they felt the same way about you,” Xie Lian spoke and promised, even silently promising himself to erect a grave everywhere he went for Wu Ming. With a final kiss to the top of the grave, Xie Lian stood up and started his travelling.

~~~

“Xiu-Ying? It’s nice to see you here.”

Ah, even after years of being referred to as such, Xie Lian still doesn’t react to it. ‘Xiu-Ying’, meaning ‘beautiful petal’ was just the name of the shop he opened in Ghost City a few years ago after the nightmare that was drowning in a river after saving Banyue. The river washed him up in this odd but comforting city and since then a lot has changed.

For one, he now goes by ‘Xiu-Ying’ for the sake of covering his identity and also he now has shorter hair thanks to all the tangles he had to cut out after the river incident. It now reaches just past his shoulders, but most times he keeps it up in his old simple hairstyle, just much shorter and messier now. Oh and (probably most importantly) on his first day here he found and bought a see through fabric to tie around his head, so the lower part of his face is covered, basically a weimao without the hat part and it only covers his face from the nose down. Anyway, it isn’t until much later where he realizes the fabric has a curse on it that changes his appearance, basically making him unrecognizable to most people. (When asked under the guise that he can’t see himself in the mirror, most ghosts told him he looks like a normal mortal with plain facial features and a veil covering the lower part of his face)

Snapping back to reality, Xie Lian turned around from where he is currently staring at a new building being made and came face to face with a smiling mask. He felt his heart beat faster before realizing it is just this city’s Waning Moon Officer. Xie Lian smiled and bowed to the only friend he’s made since staying here (the lord of the city, Hua Cheng loves flowers so every few weeks Xie Lian has Yin Yu in his shop). “What is Lord Chengzhu making over there, it looks extremely...” Xie Lian cuts himself off as he sees the tired look on Yin Yu’s face. Although Xie Lian believes Yin Yu would rather work here than be in the heavens, he still thinks the poor fallen god needs a vacation.

“If your next words aren’t ‘grand’, ‘expensive’ or ‘eccentric’ then our lord won’t be happy,” Yin Yu sighed as he stared at the construction along with Xie Lian. “I was going to say beautiful, but it looks expensive. What building is it?” Xie Lian smiled at the Chengzhu’s eccentric style. It really was beautiful, so much so Xie Lian feels it would be a waste if he even sets foot in it, as if his own presence will destroy it (which it probably will, knowing his luck). “Our Lord is still searching for his god, so this is a temple for him,” Yin Yu explained making Xie Lian look at the other shocked.

He knew the rumours, he has heard of Chengzhu’s wrath to the gods so he doesn’t know if this is some kind of trap to the god so Hua Cheng can end them or if Hua Cheng really does believe in a god and this is his way of showing it. It’s definitely an odd sight in the world of the dead, but if it is built as a sanctuary for its god, then Xie Lian truly respects the king. Xie Lian can’t judge, he has a small shrine built in his garden for Wu Ming which he spends most of his free time at, so how can he not respect the king for doing the same.

“Waning Moon Officer, you know I do bounty’s on the side. I know a lot of places where gods hang out, so I can at least tell them the lord is searching for them,” Xie Lian offers knowing the lord is after all his number one patron, so it is only fair, yet Yin Yu’s face falls. “He isn’t a god anymore; he wouldn’t be close to those scenes. He also has shackles, so my lord has been tirelessly searching for them for centuries. He thinks building this massive temple might draw them here,” Yin Yu explains making Xie Lian sigh and hum showing he understands. Xie Lian knows how hard it is to search for someone when you don’t even know where they could be (he spent a good hundred years searching for Wu Ming’s lover, but the search never yielded any results). This would also explain the constant need for flowers as Chengzhu is probably too busy searching to take care of a full garden. And by Yin Yu’s tone, Chengzhu cares for this god, so it hits even closer to home.

“What’s the god’s name? I am not really busy right now and could use a travel. Maybe I can help- “

Xie Lian was about to offer yet stopped as he felt a dark presence behind the two fallen gods. They both turned around, and Xie Lian has to stop himself from gasping. The Hua Cheng is standing right behind them, watching them and the construction in all its glory. This is surprisingly the first time Xie Lian has seen the ghost since he’s been here. He isn’t interested in gambling and the lord rarely walks the streets unless needed somewhere so thus they never had a reason to see each other, but this man is utterly breathtaking. He is tall, his hair is loose and wild which instead of taking away from his beauty actually amplifies it. He has the pointy ears that most ghosts do, but them peaking out behind the hair is utterly beautiful. He has an eyepatch, and his other eye is a dark obsidian that matches his dark persona. Yet in his eyes Xie Lian sees a sad, tired follower... the same as Wu Ming’s was...

No, no. Wu Ming is dead. He spent centuries making sure of this fact, even fighting through Mount Tong’Lu when it first opened to see if he can find his last believer, but he found nothing.

Thus, Xie Lian quickly comes back to his senses and bows to the lord like he is expected to. “You wouldn’t know him. He is the only god worth worshipping yet no one sees it. He’s the Prince of Xianle, Xie Lian. He’s been missing for centuries,” Hua Cheng spoke in a cold voice as he finally decided to grace the conversation with his presence. Xie Lian, said god who has been missing for centuries, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Why is the king of Ghost City after him of all people. Should he be worried?

He suppresses the questions of ‘why him?’ that he has grown accustomed to and instead focuses on how tired Hua Cheng looks. He genuinely seems like he is a follower of his, but why? How does this man even know who he is when Xie Lian can’t even begin to list why he shouldn’t follow him? Maybe this is all a ruse. Yes, that’s all it can be. Someone out to kill him is much easier to believe than the fact that he has a new believer. He should be careful of this ghost, at least until his reasonings become clear.

Thus, Xie Lian zones out looking at the beautiful construction of his temple while the other two talk, kind of wanting to tell Hua Cheng not to put so much effort into finding a damned god like him. Chances are, he’ll die again before Hua Cheng even ‘finds’ him. When he turns back it is to the sight that shocks him to his core.

Wu Ming. Wu Ming is there. He is whispering something to Hua Cheng and all Xie Lian can do is stare. This was definitely Wu Ming, every detail even down to his clothes and ponytail and even his pointy ears and that damned mask. That mask that has haunted Xie Lian’s dreams for centuries. This was definitely Wu Ming and Xie Lian like the fool he was, was completely frozen as he just stared at his first love. This... this has to be a dream right? No, no his dreams were much crueller than this.

Xie Lian wanted to reach out to Wu Ming and almost did until suddenly Hua Cheng straightened up from where he was leaning down slightly to listen to Wu Ming, snapping the fallen god out of his reminiscing. Wu Ming barely spared him a glance when suddenly he was gone again. Xie Lian felt tears fill his eyes as he looked at Hua Cheng shocked only to see him look back at him with a questioning look, as if debating something. Did... did Hua Cheng just make Wu Ming disappear. Was Wu Ming working for the Ghost King? Just what was happening?

“You are Xiu-Ying right? The flower shop owner? Would you mind doing the garden for the temple too? You will obviously be paid,” Hua Cheng spoke as if he didn’t make Xie Lian’s one true love just disappear right in front of his eyes! Xie Lian couldn’t stop the nauseous feeling building in his stomach or the tears and sobs threatening to escape. He had to get away from Hua Cheng now and recollect his thoughts before he does something rash like grab his robes and threaten him to return Wu Ming to him.

“Of course, my Lord, it will be my honour. I- I have to go unfortunately but I am sure His Highness, the Crown Prince of Xianle will like his temple,” Xie Lian hurried out as he bowed to both Hua Cheng and Yin Yu before running off in the direction of his home or in other words his flower shop. He couldn’t escape that nauseous feeling as he ran home, sobbing and covering his mouth with his hand. When he got home he ran out to his garden making sure he was far enough away from his shrine before throwing up all the snacks he bought on his weekly exploration of Ghost City. He remains in that position for a while as he sobbed and tried to figure out what to do.

He needs Wu Ming back.

Hua Cheng is dangerous if he can make Wu Ming disappear on will alone. Wu Ming can’t be treated like that.

Like a pawn.

Like a stain on the Earth.

Not again. Never again.

And whether it means he’ll have to beat Hua Cheng or die trying...

It’s worth it for Wu Ming. For his ghost. For his beloved...

But first he needs to make sure he knows his enemy, he can’t just march up to Hua Cheng and demand Wu Ming back or he’ll destroy him. That will just be foolish and wishing for death. Maybe Wu Ming is free, and Xie Lian can take him without even fighting Hua Cheng. He thinks for a while before finally thinking of an idea on how to learn more about Hua Cheng.

~~~

Xie Lian stepped into the last place he thought he was going to go, well at least not for a while. He removed his hood and the veil covering the half of his face, placing them in his bag as he looked at the statues of Feng Xin and Mu Qing, the first one he found. He knew very well that his friends had gotten married since he’s been gone and although he felt slightly depressed that he missed it... He also knew he didn’t make it very easy to be found. Especially since he heard that Feng Xin is still searching for him.

Also, he had to admit, if Wu Ming didn’t have a beloved AND gave him the time of day, Xie Lian also probably wouldn’t want the two or anyone there that could ruin their moment. So, it is only fair that he understood and wish his friends congratulations on the marriage. He placed some offerings (mainly consisting of food he bought in a nearby town, so he doesn’t offer them objects from the ghost realm) on the table and lit some incense for the two intertwined statues of his friends.

He studied the statue as if debating his life choices. The statues were well made and portrayed them drinking their marriage wine with intertwined arms, smiling happily at one another. Xie Lian let out a sigh before finally kneeling on the ground and bowing to the statues of his friends, praying in a soft voice, “Feng Xin, Mu Qing, can I talk to you two please. It’s urgent.”

He knew prayers were perceived in the voice of the believer so he knew the two of them would know it was him, but he had no idea if the two gods would even want to see him after not seeing him for 600 years. Thus, he stayed in that kneeling position until he finally felt a soft breeze enter the temple. Xie Lian smiled nervously and stood up, turning around nervously. And indeed, there they were, his two childhood best friends looking at him as if they’ve seen a ghost.

“Your Highness!” Feng Xin spoke first and ran up to him, immediately checking for any wounds or injuries while Xie Lian assured him he was okay. Finally, Mu Qing also approached like a scared cat, waiting to see if it is safe. Xie Lian smiled at them and hugged both of them. He hated how much he still misses them, it’s been centuries, they must be two very different people now, yet Xie Lian’s nostalgia persists. “Congratulations on your marriage! I wish I could’ve been there but... I wasn’t ready for heavenly business yet,” Xie Lian admitted as both of them froze before hugging him back gently.

Mu Qing was the first to pull away in shock. “What happened to your hair?” He asked nonchalantly, but the concern was evident in his expression. Feng Xin also pulled away and lead the three of them to a table nearby so they can talk. “That is a long story... too long of a story. For now, like I said although I would love to catch up with you two, we can do that at a later time. I was serious when I said it’s urgent. I have something important to ask you,” Xie Lian quickly explained, biting his lip nervously, not knowing if they even want to help. Feng Xin and Mu Qing looked at each other for a second, silently communicating like they always did before nodding and turning to Xie Lian. “What do you need your Highness,” Feng Xin asked, unlike Mu Qing he didn’t hide his concern.

Xie Lian breathed in, debating how to even start this conversation. He can’t really begin with ‘hey do you guys know how to slay Crimson rain sought flower’ (knowing them, they’ll offer to do it with him). So, he studies them for a while before looking down. “I live in Ghost City at the moment, which really it is much cozier than you might think. It’s just... Hua Cheng has started building a temple for a god. According to him, it’s for the Prince of Xianle... Do you two know what he might want from me? Could this temple be a trap for me?” Xie Lian asks all while looking at his hands and not looking at his two friends.

It was silent for a while as everyone sat in thought. “Your Highness, with all do respect... no matter our answer why would you even want to get close to him?” Feng Xin asks making Xie Lian finally look at them. Feng Xin was looking at him concerned and Mu Qing was looking away, clearly not wanting to contribute to this conversation. Xie Lian debated coming clean about Wu Ming and what happened but decided against it. There’s no point in reliving his nightmares. Instead, he asks the more important question. “Do you know if Hua Cheng keeps prisoners?” Xie Lian now became more serious causing the two of them to straighten up out of habit.

“Hua Cheng isn’t known for keeping prisoners. He usually tortures the people he needs information from and then disperses or kills them,” Mu Qing answered straightforward this time. Xie Lian dreaded this answer as it left more questions than answers. If Wu Ming isn’t a prisoner, then why is he working for Hua Cheng? If Hua Cheng is making a temple for him as a trap then what does it say about-

Oh.

Xie Lian finally comes to an answer in his head making his body go slightly limp as he just stared at the ground. “Hua... Hua Cheng is known for making deals right?” He asks in a monotone voice as he feels panic overcome him. The silence is enough answer he needs. It makes sense, Hua Cheng seems like a smart and cunning person. Why would he worship a god of misfortune like himself? Thus, the only other option that remains is a trap. He doubts Hua Cheng even knows who he is so this must be a deal he has with someone who does know him. Wu Ming. Wu Ming wants revenge against Xie Lian for all his cruelties to the ghost, for killing him before he can even live a life with his beloved. It seems impossible, but the more Xie Lian thinks about it, the more it seems like he has his answer.

You deserve it.

You said it yourself; you deserve to grovel at his feet for forgiveness. Is it so hard to believe that he feels that same hatred to you?

Your delusions have gotten to you Xie Lian.

Xie Lian’s mind is cruel place, he knows it firsthand. Yet now... now he has no choice but to believe those words. It is the only solution that makes logical sense. Suddenly a hand reached out to touch him and Xie Lian flinches away. He looks up and sees his two friends looking at him concerned, Feng Xin taking back the hand that was reaching out to him. “Your Highness, if you’d like you can move into my palace for a while. The heavens will protect you from Hua Cheng,” Feng Xin offers in a gentle, coaxing voice. Mu Qing looks like he wants to say something but then looks at his husband and stops. He shuts his mouth and stares at their statue.

“No, no it’s really alright Feng Xin. I... I was just worried and wanted to know more about Hua Cheng’s habits. Thank you, but I am safe and more at home there than I would be in heaven. I can change my appearance there, so no one knows I currently live in Ghost City, not even Hua Cheng. I just wanted to be safe. You know Guoshi always told us to know our enemies more than we know our friends,” Xie Lian laughed it off and stood up, stretching out to signify he was relaxing. “What about we do weekly visits here then? That way we know you are safe and if you are in danger we’ll know,” Mu Qing offered and Xie Lian simply nodded in agreement, just wanting to go home and think this information through.

Feng Xin agreed and noticing that his friend wanted to leave, just gave him a hug and bowed. But Mu Qing stayed next to Xie Lian, not moving a muscle. Feng Xin raised an eyebrow when he stepped away and his husband didn’t follow. Mu Qing made a waving movement showing he wanted Feng Xin to go home. “You go; I just need to tell his Highness something then I’ll be right with you. Don’t miss me too much,” Mu Qing stuck out his tongue and Feng Xin let out a mix between a scoff and a laugh before nodding and simply disappearing.

Xie Lian looked at his friend curiously, usually Mu Qing wasn’t the talkative type so for him to do this... it must be serious. “Your Highness, with all do respect, we know you aren’t telling us everything. But Hua Cheng... I don’t know, he bothers me,” Mu Qing muttered before turning to the statue of him and his husband again. Mu Qing’s expression softened as he looked at them, making Xie Lian relax and also turn to look at the statue.

“I’m sure Your Highness knows about the 33 gods he challenged, and the fact that Feng Xin and I never agreed thus we never duelled with him,” Mu Qing started after a while, his expression darkening as the topic changed to a darker subject. Xie Lian nodded looking at his friend who surprisingly is taller than him. “Your- Xie Lian, those 33 gods were the same gods who humiliated you on that mountain... the same day I pointed a sword at you. What I mean to tell you is Hua Cheng’s victims all have one thing in common... They have wronged you in one or another way,” Mu Qing returned Xie Lian’s gaze as they both stared at each other, one in shock and the other contemplative. Finally, Xie Lian realized why Mu Qing didn’t want to speak in front of Feng Xin, either he doesn’t know about Mu Qing’s threat that night or because Mu Qing doesn’t want to insinuate that his husband hurt their friend. But Xie Lian stayed silent and let Mu Qing talk.

Mu Qing looked at Xie Lian for a while as if debating what to say. “I guess what I’m saying is I doubt you have to worry about Hua Cheng hurting you... that being said I doubt it’s a good idea to get close to him either. Just keep your distance, that’s for the best,” Mu Qing spoke and before Xie Lian could answer he disappeared as well.

~~~

A few weeks go by like this, Xie Lian rarely going out into the city except to buy food and mostly just barely keeping himself afloat. Over the last few weeks he is stuck between two options, run away like he always does when Wu Ming is involved or... give himself over. Repent for his sins like he promised himself he’d do for centuries now. It’s been an ongoing battle as he tried to keep Mu Qing’s words in mind as well. But overall, except for his inner turmoil, Xie Lian has been having a peaceful few weeks.

That is until the bell on top of his shop door rings making Xie Lian smile up at the ghost who entered. His smile falters as he sees it’s Yin Yu, but he keeps up his façade and bows to the friend he has made here. “Waning Moon officer. Nice to see you again. I assume you want the normal red and white flowers for our lord?” Xie Lian asks in his usual cheery tone, already going to get some seeds for him to grow for his friend. “Well yes, but Chengzhu has actually asked your specific help in the garden of the temple. He was hoping you could grow it there so he can make it more... eye catching and fitting for the temple,” Yin Yu explained tiredly.

Xie Lian’s blood goes cold, but he musters up a smile, nodding at his friend. He grabbed the seeds and his gardening tools before following the fallen god to the temple.

Once there Yin Yu suddenly bows to him as a goodbye, claiming he has other business to oversee before leaving. Xie Lian breathes in and out, fear curling around in his stomach as he starts walking up the stairs leading into the already well built temple. He peeks inside and he can’t help but gasp as he looks at the altar. There on the raised platform stood not only Hua Cheng with his hair in a pony tail, busy carving into stone but also a massive statue that looks...

Really, really accurate. Like Hua Cheng has studied Xie Lian up close for years and is now showing how much he learned. It was breathtakingly beautiful and gentle and so much like Hua Cheng actually cares for him. Maybe Mu Qing was right all along...

Hua Cheng was sculpting Xie Lian with his beautiful Prince clothes; the statue had a sword in one hand and-

A child in the other?

Oh Hong Hong-Er. The small boy he saved from falling all those years ago, yet this child looked much uglier than the rather cute child he saved all those years ago. It is as if Hua Cheng was trying to make Xie Lian seem even more heroic by saving a ‘monstrous’ child. Was the Ghost King really so childish? Still, it was beautifully made and Xie Lian as the centre piece was so perfect to how he actually looked like that Xie Lian can’t help but feel like applauding Hua Cheng for his hard work, even if this is meant as a trap.

Yet this statue also made a feeling of intense rage appear in Xie Lian’s stomach. Why make Xie Lian so beautiful and worthy of praise, when Xie Lian is none of those things? Yes, Xie Lian is aware of his outward beauty, but the gentle and caring face of the statue feels wrong when he thinks about the pain he put poor Wu Ming through. He is a vengeful, ugly, monstrous god, who truly did deserve all those statues people carved of him begging for forgiveness. Wu Ming deserved this beautiful shrine and a statue of him, rather than Xie Lian did.

Xie Lian quickly suppressed these feelings when he realized Hua Cheng was staring at him with an eyebrow raised. It seems he did gasp out loud, which just made this all more embarrassing. Xie Lian hesitantly stepped forward, bowing to Hua Cheng and then to the statue of himself, knowing it was a sign of respect. Hua Cheng seemed pleased at the display of respect and so he turned back to the statue. “How does it look?” Hua Cheng asks, though it’s clear that no matter what Xie Lian said it isn’t technically ‘Xiu-Ying’s’ praise that mattered. It seemed like the comment was more made to fill the silence.

“Any god would be happy to receive such a beautiful statue. I’m sure the Prince of Xianle would love it,” Xie Lian spoke respectfully as he looked at the statue in wonder and amazement. From up close this truly was a beautiful statue, even the clothes were accurate to the last detail. It made Xie Lian flattered and that much angrier. This beauty wasn’t his to have, Wu Ming deserves to get his revenge. Xie Lian hopes Hua Cheng can set his care for the god aside so Wu Ming can achieve his revenge in the end.

Hua Cheng smiled at ‘Xiu-Ying’s’ praise and continued his carving. “Once I am done here, I can help you with the garden,” Hua Cheng explained as he continued to carve. Xie Lian must admit, although the statue filled him with as much rage as it filled him with serenity, he couldn’t look away. So, he kneeled down in front of the statue and admired how Hua Cheng carved it. By the way Hua Cheng would glance at him and then back to the statue, these carvings seemed like muscle memory rather than painstaking work. Ah Hua Cheng was probably an avid sculptor of a lot of gods then.

“Do you want to hear about the prince of Xianle?” Hua Cheng spoke with such a gentle and awed voice as he returned his focus on the statue. Xie Lian smiled, pretty sure he knows more about the Prince than Hua Cheng does, but the gentle and smooth voice of the Ghost King, talking so reverently about him, made a balm around his heart. As if this singular man can heal all his pain and guilt by simply talking like this.

“I would love that my lord,” Xie Lian smiled up at him before focusing on the statue.

~~~

If Xie Lian was being honest...

He truly did not know how things ended up like this. Xie Lian spent most of his day talking with Hua Cheng about himself. It felt odd but Xie Lian truly enjoyed his day with the Ghost King as he reverently sculpted the statue of the Prince of Xianle. Well, it was really relaxing until he got to the fall of his kingdom. Of course, Xie Lian was well accustomed to the topic, yet this Ghost King, this fountain of knowledge that spewed poetry and literature like it was nothing didn’t talk about Wu Ming or Xie Lian’s actions during that time. It was an odd thing that irked him. Clearly Hua Cheng and Wu Ming are working together yet he didn’t mention his treatment to the ghost. Was Hua Cheng oblivious or simply ignoring the facts? Either way it caused an uncomfortable feeling to grow in his chest as they went to focus on the garden.

This feeling grew and grew as Xie Lian returned home and stood in his shop frozen. It haunted Xie Lian how reverently Hua Cheng talked about him, and it confirmed Mu Qing’s statement, the ghost obviously meant no harm towards him. And Xie Lian has seen Hua Cheng simply ignore people whose deals didn’t suit him, meaning Wu Ming also had no ill intentions towards him. Yet this thought and acceptance of it made Xie Lian sick. It was easier to believe the two of them wanted him dead than them searching for him...

Why did that thought upset him this much? He should be over the moon, especially when Hua Cheng made him feel safe and if he could’ve he would’ve wanted to stay with Wu Ming for eternity.

Is it guilt?

Xie Lian knows he did wrong, to Wu Ming especially. Is that why he can accept hatred more than he can accept genuine forgiveness?

Xie Lian stared up at the bottle of alcohol still there from when he first moved into this building a few centuries back. He grabbed it hesitantly and went outside, looking at the shrine he has built in every place he stayed in. This shrine (since Ghost City has become his permanent home) is no longer just a gravestone with a name carved into it. Now it is a nice shrine made out of wood and inside the small, well-crafted shrine is a statue of Wu Ming that Xie Lian taught himself to make. As he takes sip upon sip of alcohol he so wishes the small statue he so reverently carved out of stone was bigger.

It isn’t until most of the bottle was finished that Xie Lian realized with clarity what caused that feeling from earlier. Xie Lian didn’t want to be remembered for the good he has done; he should be depicted as the cruel creature he once was. Wu Ming deserved that statue. He deserves a beautiful statue crafted to perfection. Wu Ming deserved to be treated like a god, he deserves to rule over people. He deserved the niceties he promised his beloved. He deserved to be kneeled down to and revered until Xie Lian’s knees bled and bruised from kowtowing too long. Wu Ming deserved the treatment that Hua Cheng was now giving to Xie Lian. Maybe, Xie Lian drunkenly mused, he should show the Ghost King a better god to worship.

Thus, that’s why Xie Lian, now having drunk an entire bottle of alcohol, destroyed (although a bit sadly) the beautiful statue of himself (he made sure the small child wasn’t damaged, Xie Lian’s anger was aimed at himself, not Hong Hong-Er, not Wu Ming and not Hua Cheng). He placed the statue of the child close to the entrance before on the raised platform he placed a block of stone. He was sad that the stone he managed to find wasn’t nearly as big as Hua Cheng’s, but he didn’t care enough in this drunken state. He just started carving.

He carved Wu Ming’s beautiful features, his pointy ears that would turn pink when they drank, his nose slightly crooked from injuries Xie Lian sadly never knew the origin of, his smooth cheeks with the few scars he had seen, his defined jaw and finally Xie Lian’s personal favourite, his eyes. He made sure the pupils were different and even used a red jewel he kept on him to show his other eye. With his clothes and hair, Xie Lian settled on what he could remember which wasn’t much. He made the statue of Wu Ming hold his mask in one hand and a sabre in another. When he finished he smiled at himself, giving the offerings he brought from home to the statue and kneeling to the statue.

“May you become as powerful as I know you are Wu Ming; you deserve this more than I do. Thank you for what you sacrificed that day and now I only hope I can be your stepping stone to become a god,” Xie Lian prayed in a hushed tone before standing up. Before he left, he stupidly decided to grow some vines with flowers on to wrap around Wu Ming, making a rather dashing statue. Xie Lian smiled, pleased with himself as he carefully stepped over the debris from the previous statue and returned home.

~~~

What the fuck has he just done?

Xie Lian really can’t remember much of how he woke up. All he knew was that he got drunk, destroyed the Ghost King’s work, went home to sleep (in front of his shrine, sleeping in the mud) and when he woke up he was being tied up. That...

Alright yeah, fair enough he should’ve seen this coming. That’s why after a momentary struggle he simply relaxed and allowed himself, veil and all to be lead to Paradise Manor. Xie Lian mused how Hua Cheng would react to his own god destroying his own statue, only to replace it with one of his possibly worker’s statues. Xie Lian suddenly hoped that Wu Ming was okay and that he wasn’t blamed for it, he’ll make sure to clear it up and take whatever punishment Hua Cheng plans to give.

When he got to the manor, he was thrown down to the floor in a harsh thud. Yet Xie Lian couldn’t care less, he had to explain that this was all his doing and that Wu Ming was innocent. He didn’t have to do much as Hua Cheng who was sitting on the divan before, was now walking up to him. He harshly gripped Xie Lian’s chin, with a deep and piercing anger in his eyes. Xie Lian winced and opened his mouth to speak yet he was quickly stopped by Hua Cheng speaking first.

“How dare you ruin His statue by using my-! “

Hua Cheng started shouting as he ripped away the veil still covering half of Xie Lian’s face, but as soon as his eyes (well eye) met Xie Lian’s he froze. “Your- Your Highness,” he spoke in that gentle tone again and Xie Lian can’t help the calm spreading over his body at that tone. Hua Cheng backed away in shock as he studied Xie Lian’s dirty face from sleeping in the dirt all night and his much shorter hair and his pale complexion from drinking plus his puffy eyes from crying. Xie Lian can’t help but feel a bit of shame at how Hua Cheng must be judging him now. “Uh... my lord I, I can explain I promise,” Xie Lian muttered, not knowing what to do to fill the silence.

Hua Cheng seemed to snap out of his daze, and he quickly nodded. He just as quickly undid the rope binding Xie Lian and gently smoothed the slightly bruised wrists. Xie Lian can see Hua Cheng’s thoughts racing as he probably thinks about what has happened in the last few hours. Hua Cheng soon stands up and gently helps Xie Lian up as well, yet the fallen Prince feels like his feet can’t carry his weight as he accidentally falls into Hua Cheng’s arms. Of course, the king catches him with ease and looks at him concerned.

“I’m... I’m sorry about your statue, it was lovely I promise. Probably the best statue I have seen of myself but... It’s no use worshipping me. I only bring ruin and misfortune. I guess that was my... messed up way of showing you that. Wu Ming had nothing to do with it if you are worried about that, it was just me,” Xie Lian explains in a tired voice as he tries to stand by himself, which on his second attempt he succeeds. Hua Cheng looks at him sadly, and then with confusion, and finally with understanding. “You thought Wu Ming will make a better god than Your Highness?” Hua Cheng asks and gets a nod in response from the Prince. Hua Cheng sighs and smiles at Xie Lian making the god blush a bit now that, that beautiful smile is shown to him and not a statue.

“I assume you want to speak to Wu Ming?” Hua Cheng asks indulgently as most of the servants start leaving the room. Xie Lian wants to nod, wants to apologize like he has been wanting to for years. Yet the words get caught in his throat. Would the ghost even want to see the object of the thing that killed him. Maybe Wu Ming is mad that Xie Lian ruined his peace here by making a statue of him. “I... If he wants to see me then it would be nice... please,” Xie Lian spoke feeling like he might fall over. Didn’t he always say that if he crosses paths with his ghost that he’ll grovel at his feet? He muses that if he falls, at least he’ll be where he belongs in front of his ‘last’ believer.

Xie Lian doesn’t miss the crease in Hua Cheng’s eyebrows as he looks at Xie Lian with a sad gaze. Ah, he must be realizing how horrible of a choice he made worshipping Xie Lian. He was used to this realization, so he just keeps looking down, trying to collect his thoughts for when Wu Ming shows up. Finally, Hua Cheng gently nods and gently places a hand on Xie Lian’s lower back, it takes a while for the god to realize Hua Cheng is offering him some support. “Alright, Wu Ming is just busy doing some errands. He’ll be back in about a week or so. Until then, can I get Your Highness something?” Hua Cheng spoke softly as Xie Lian felt himself getting dizzy. He should’ve slept more, plus the panic of the last few weeks was finally catching up to him. It felt odd to be asked what he wanted.

“Could you uhm... catch me maybe?”

And just like that Xie Lian passed out.

~~~

Turns out him sleeping outside after this drunken night, caused him to have a fever. When he woke up after the ordeal, Hua Cheng was with him, gently dabbing his forehead and arms to get rid of any sweat. Xie Lian was in the most comfortable bed he’s been in since forever, it felt so nice. And Hua Cheng was so nice. Despite just finding out how much of a failure the god he once worshipped is, he still spoke to him so gently and still touched him as if he was reverently smoothing his skin. It was just as exhilarating as it was calming.

For the first day Xie Lian just listened to Hua Cheng talk and tell stories and false promises of ‘There I got you’ or ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you wake up, just rest’. Yet they were never false as every time Xie Lian woke up, Hua Cheng was still there, sometimes with a sword manual which he was reading to the sleeping prince, sometimes with a nice cup of tea, sometimes with some soup for him to eat. Overall, it was probably the best few hours of Xie Lian’s life.

The second day Xie Lian felt much better, and Hua Cheng could get him to take a bath. It was there that Xie Lian once again felt so safe, it felt almost suffocating. Hua Cheng gently combed Xie Lian’s hair, gently scrubbed his shoulders, chest and even legs before leaving Xie Lian to do the rest. When the sweet bath was over Xie Lian was lead back to the bed and there was the softest night clothes Xie Lian has ever felt. It felt like butterfly silk and when Xie Lian asked, Hua Cheng pointed up. There on the ceiling were hundreds of glowing butterflies. Some flew down and joined Xie Lian on the bed after he got dressed and was ushered to lie down. The rest of the day Xie Lian spent playing with the small creatures, all while Hua Cheng told him stories of his time on Mount Tong’Lu.

The rest of the week (turned weeks) was spent in the gardens, in Ghost City and when Xie Lian was well enough, in the armoury and in the library. In that time Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were inseparable. They spent every waking moment together and when Xie Lian figured out he stole Hua Cheng’s bed and Hua Cheng was sleeping on the chair in the room, he quickly ushered Hua Cheng to sleep on the bed too (it didn’t take long before the two of them ended up cuddling every night and when they walk passed an empty guest bedroom in the manor, they both ignore its presence), thus they indirectly spent every moment together. And Xie Lian bathed in the affection and care he felt.

Xie Lian selfishly dreaded Wu Ming’s return and was secretly relieved his trip got extended. He couldn’t understand why. He figured it was because when Wu Ming came back, he fully intended to do good on his promise of centuries. He was going to beg for forgiveness (which judging by Hua Cheng’s opinions on his subordinate, he will be granted) and then do something he decided on during his time in that coffin Lang Qianqiu put him in. As he bled out thanks to his sword stuck in his chest, he realized if somebody deserved to kill him, it has to be Wu Ming. And thus, stuck in that endless cycle of pain he decided, he was going to ask the ghost to kill him. He took everything from the ghost, his life in the war, his life after death and finally his last opportunity to confess and protect his beloved. If anyone deserved the ‘honour’ to kill Xie Lian, it was Wu Ming.

But one day as him and Hua Cheng were sparring and Xie Lian let out laughs of ‘San Lang’ and Hua Cheng returned it with a teasing ‘gege~’ he realized why he felt dread. He was never scared of death, that’s why him dreading Wu Ming’s return never made sense to him. Now as both him and Hua Cheng were sitting in the pond after tackling each other into it, laughing as they were drenched, Xie Lian realized he was in love with Hua Cheng. In love with his beautiful laugh and smile as he gazed at Xie Lian with that beautiful obsidian eye. The way he gently helped Xie Lian out of the pond and first made sure he was dry, so he does not get sick before focusing on himself.

Xie Lian was in love with Hua Cheng...

Which should be wrong, all so... so wrong. For centuries Xie Lian’s heart was Wu Ming’s. For centuries Xie Lian would dream of Wu Ming holding him and gently kissing away all his tears. Yet now when nightmares happen, Hua Cheng is the one who tucks him in and kisses away all his tears. For centuries he thought that right before Wu Ming would take his life, he would beg for the favour of Wu Ming taking his first kiss before he drove the blade to his heart. But now Hua Cheng gently presses his lips to Xie Lian’s late one night and Xie Lian can’t help but lean in and kiss him back, gripping Hua Cheng’s clothes so he can’t move away. He never pulled away as that night Hua Cheng gave him love and devotion with kisses leading from his face, to his neck, to his chest and all the way down to his navel.

It felt like heaven, all of Hua Cheng belonging to him and all of him belonging to Hua Cheng.

Selfishly Xie Lian never wanted this heaven to end. He doesn’t want to see Hua Cheng’s sadness and anger when he gives Wu Ming the blade he’s had since he lived in Ghost City. He doesn’t want to be apart from Hua Cheng gently holding him in his arms. But he knows...

He knows his sins are far too great, especially to Wu Ming to just be forgotten...

Heh, he muses to himself one night as he waits for Hua Cheng to come to bed. Six centuries and I still can’t put Wu Ming first. What a selfish person I am, Wu Ming would truly be disappointed...

“Oh, Wu Ming says he is coming back tomorrow,” Hua Cheng says as he crawls in behind Xie Lian, pulling him close to his chest. Xie Lian feels his breath catch in his throat as he realizes this was his last night with Hua Cheng. If the kiss and cuddles of that night seem a bit more urgent and desperate than usual, Hua Cheng never mentioned it.

~~~

“Are you ready?” Hua Cheng asks in a teasing voice as he leads Xie Lian to the divan where the meetings are usually held. Xie Lian, in a beautiful robe that Hua Cheng once again gave him, was awfully aware of the blade that Ruoye was currently holding for him. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” Xie Lian smiled at Hua Cheng and gently kisses his cheek. “Thank you for the last few weeks, San Lang... You made me really happy,” Xie Lian smiled as he sat down on the divan, reaching up and gently smoothing Hua Cheng’s cheek. “Gege makes it sound like this is goodbye,” Hua Cheng pouted but doesn’t sit next to him. Instead, he kneels down and gently kisses Xie Lian’s palm.

And then Xie Lian gasps as Hua Cheng suddenly changes appearance.

Suddenly instead of the tall, eye patch wearing man that Xie Lian was used to, there stood Wu Ming. Xie Lian felt all the words he wanted to say slip out of his mind as he stares at the man kneeling in front of him. Was this some cruel joke? Yet when Hua Cheng takes off the mask and Xie Lian sees his face, he knew all of this was real, it was too accurate to be anything but real. Hua Cheng- no Wu Ming now sighed and stood up, moving to the centre of the room like where guests are supposed to stand.

“This lowly one is sorry for deceiving Your Highness, it really was never my intention. I just... when you showed up here that day with the fever, I first wanted you to be taken care of before you meet me and after that...” Wu Ming looked down in shame, but the words were clear ‘I got carried away and was scared to tell you’. Xie Lian could only stare in surprise as the cold realization set into his very bones. It seems all his muscles moved on memory as he stood up and walked up to the ghost (he remembers Wu Ming being tall, but he can’t remember how thin and frail the ghost was). Wu Ming looked at him worried before suddenly his expression turned to one of shock as Xie Lian suddenly kneeled in front of him.

Xie Lian kneeled on both knees and leaned over so his hands were on the ground and his forehead was also touching Wu Ming’s shoes. Wu Ming was so shocked he could barely utter anything else other than Xie Lian’s title. Xie Lian swallowed as he finally let his instincts just take control, knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep it together if he was the one in control.

“I-I’m sorry Wu Ming. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I’m sorry you died in a war too big for you. I’m sorry you died believing you were dying for my sake when all I’ve ever lived up to was to be a god of misfortune. I’m sorry you got swept up in my revenge. I’m sorry I never bothered to learn your real name or at least give you a name worth learning. I’m sorry that on that day I pushed you away and didn’t just tell you my plans. I’m... I can’t be sorrier that on that day you died again, taking in the punishment that should have been mine. I’m sorry I kept you from your beloved. I’m sorry your lover got hurt because of my stupid war. I’m so so sorry Wu Ming, you served a failure of a god,” Xie Lian rambled the list he knew off by heart as with every ‘sorry’ he would lean up and then kneel again, all while keeping his gaze on Wu Ming’s boots.

It finally seemed that words caught up to Wu Ming as he kneeled down with Xie Lian and gently pulled him into a hug, softly smoothing his hair as Xie Lian cried into his shoulder. He should say sorry for Hua Cheng too, that he used him, that he destroyed a beautiful statue. “Your Highness... no... don’t apologize...” Wu Ming mumbled as he held Xie Lian close, no longer allowing him to bow down to him. Xie Lian figures this is a much easier position for the next part he plans to ask anyway. He grabs the blade, a beautiful, encrusted dagger that he found shortly after his residence here, it can apparently kill a god. But Xie Lian figures if push comes to shove, Hua Cheng can use E-Ming, or he heard cutting a god’s head off does the trick. He gently held it out to Wu Ming, to Hua Cheng.

“It feels only fair that I repay for my sins by letting you take my- “Xie Lian was about to ask yet Wu Ming quickly grabbed the dagger and threw it to the other side of the room, doing the same with E-Ming as well. “No! No, Your Highness, Xie Lian, Gege, Beloved. I... I was never mad, I never needed an apology, especially not from you of all people. I didn’t want to throw it all on you today, but it seems I must. Your Highness surely remembers the child you caught in the festival, since you left him untouched in the temple? Your Highness remembers the soldier who protected you from the flower demons? And finally, your Highness remembers the ghost fire you bought and tried to set free? They are all me!” Wu Ming explained, shifting back to his Hua Cheng form in the end as it felt better to have the conversation as they are now.

Xie Lian was stunned as he looked at Hua Cheng as if seeing him for the first time. The ghost king had tears streaming down his face and was holding onto Xie Lian tightly, as if he would just disappear. “Your- your beloved... am I your beloved?” Xie Lian asks in a soft voice as he stares at Hua Cheng’s hands on his waist. For once Hua Cheng didn’t move away and only held him tighter. “Your Highness, Gege I love you but sometimes you really are oblivious. My beloved has always been you, even as Wu Ming. I got my goodbye, more times than I can count, I got to protect my beloved every single time I died so there’s no need to say sorry for that either. My love, I promise you I forgive you if you feel the need to say sorry, but you didn’t deserve your statue getting destroyed or me destroying you,” Hua Cheng promised, and Xie Lian finally relaxed and just rested in Hua Cheng’s arms, letting out a few sobs before fully calming down.

“I’m sorry...” Xie Lian muttered as he felt Hua Cheng pick him up and carry him to their bed.

“No, gege’s ‘I’m sorry’ privilege has been taken away. For now, you need rest and a good bath, then when we both have slept for a while, we can talk about what gege has been thinking for centuries. Does that sound good?” Hua Cheng teases making Xie Lian laugh and smile. He holds onto his lover as he rests his eyes.

“That sounds perfect,” Xie Lian whispered as they both climbed into bed and held each other close. He knew they had to talk about it and the sooner the better. But for now, he is just happy in his beloved’s arms, listening to the breathing Hua Cheng is regulating as he slowly feels himself fall asleep again...

Chapter Text

Late, late, late. Mu Qing hates being late. She was notoriously always on time for everything. Parties, classes, meetings etc. So, when she woke up with a leak in her apartment that coincidentally dripped on her favourite dress basically causing her to have to choose a new outfit for the day (which happened to be her black leather pants, high heel boots and a pretty white top). When she checked her schedule while brushing her hair, she realized today was her early day and she forgot to set the right alarms!

Thus, not even a second later she grabbed her bag and rushed to her university, running as fast as her heels could possibly take her. She ran (more like fast walked) her way to her first lecture. She can’t be more thankful for her choice to move away from home to a university where no one knows her, and she knows no one. Yes, it gets lonely sometimes, but she was happy...

Yes, happy...

It gave her time to get over her broken friendship with Xie Lian (the rich girl who lost everything and soon abandoned her university dreams after high school to travel because of humiliation). It gave her time to be her own person, not Xie Lian’s shadow, not the girl who got into a rich person high school despite being poor. She was finally just Mu Qing. But most importantly it gave her time to get over her stupid, long unrequited feelings for her enemy (though referred to as her friend) Feng Xin...

Mu Qing ignores how she still feels her heart beat faster at the mere mention of her name, how her wet dreams still consist mainly of her, how she still watches out for her in every crowd...

 Despite not really having any friends except for Pei Ming and Shi Qingxuan, Mu Qing was happy...

As happy as she can be at least...

Before Mu Qing can have an existential crisis and debate her life choices, she ran to class even faster causing her to suddenly run into someone.

Hard.

So hard in fact, it not only caused herself to fall back from sheer force, but also the stranger spilt their entire fizzy energy drink on her...

She looked up, ready to curse the person out and saw the last person she expected to see.

The one, the only, Feng Xin.

Her enemy.

Her ‘friend’.

Her secret unrequited love.

Feng Xin was dressed in a simple white crop top with blue jeans, and the red jersey Feng Xin wore in high school, with their school crest still on it. As always she had her hair in a neat bun with a few strands of hair, framing her face. Feng Xin still had a beautiful tan showing she most likely still spent her days partaking in sport. She looked absolutely breathtaking. After all these years Mu Qing felt her heart quicken its pace. “Shit sorry- Mu Qing?” Feng Xin began to apologize before finally realizing just who she bumped into. Feng Xin leaned down and helped Mu Qing up, her strong arms wrapping around her lithe but fit waist as Mu Qing just let it happen...

It felt odd having Feng Xin’s attention on her, since usually it was turned to Xie Lian before the disaster and after that to another girl named Jian Lan. Usually, the only attention Mu Qing got from her crush was arguments and insults. Yet now Feng Xin held her gently and continued to do so even after stabilizing her. It was nice... Feng Xin’s care felt good, right...

Mu Qing hated it. She pushed the girl away and took the napkins she kept in her bag. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you go to a nearby college back home with Jian Lan and the rest of the school?” Mu Qing asked coldly like she always had with the brunette. When around Feng Xin, she always felt like a trapped animal, purely hissing and glaring more out of fright than out of hate. But clearly the one she loved most didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand that all Mu Qing wanted was care, reassurance and maybe a hug. But no, things never change between them...

Feng Xin scowls in return and glares at Mu Qing, folding her arms over her chest. “I didn’t think you’d care. You know, since you just left without a word to me or any of our friends,” Feng Xin responded, and a pang went through Mu Qing’s heart. She did. She wanted to. Right before leaving Mu Qing went to Feng Xin’s house to say goodbye and leave a note explaining all her feelings (a note she spent weeks writing, throwing it away and then rewriting it until it was perfect). But when she got to the house, she saw Jian Lan and Feng Xin making out from the window and she felt her heart break. She ran away and left without a word after that.

It's been almost 5 years since then, since Mu Qing moved away, since Mu Qing changed her number and made a life for herself, not that it really worked in erasing the heart ache.

“Well, it’s not like you- “Before Mu Qing could continue her sentence she was interrupted by Pei Ming who wrapped his arm around her shoulder making Mu Qing freeze before glaring at him. Feng Xin also seemed rather shocked before scoffing and glaring at Pei Ming. “Hey little meow-meow, what’s going on here? What happened to your shirt?” Pei Ming asked in his usual flirty voice making both Feng Xin and Mu Qing bristle. Not in the mood to deal with either of them, Mu Qing thought of a way out and suddenly remembered, she was late for class!

“Late, sorry, talk later!” Mu Qing yelled, ducking her way out of Pei Ming’s hold and made her way to her class at an even faster pace. She made it just in time for the lecturer to start talking. Mu Qing panted as she stared at her ruined blouse, now doused in an odd stain. She still felt sticky all over and as she looked in her bag, she realized she forgot her textbooks for the classes she has...

Can this day get any worse?...

~~~

Mu Qing shouldn’t have even thought that. As when she got back to her apartment she realized she left the tub running after she saw her alarm mistake and thus her apartment floor now had water damage. The construction crew assured her that the landlord said it came out of her insurance, but she needed to find a place to stay for the weekend.

Mu Qing returned to the campus in a daze as she stared at the contacts of her close friends. It’s between Shi Qingxuan and Pei Ming. With Pei Ming she’d be subjected to one night stands over the weekend or being flirted with constantly. With Shi Qingxuan she’ll most likely be subjected to their boyfriend or to a surprise shopping trip (maybe both, especially the latter considering Shi Qingxuan almost shed a tear at the state of her ruined blouse). She wasn’t in the mood for either of her friends. She loved them dearly but she didn’t feel like acting high and mighty like she usually does for the rest of the weekend.

Honestly after seeing Feng Xin again, she just wanted to curl up with a tub of ice cream and eat her sorrows away, yet now she has to go with friends and pretend everything was okay for the rest of the weekend. Mu Qing sat on a bench and stared at her phone, thinking of what to do. Maybe she could book a hotel, but she had no extra clothes, and she didn’t want to show her face in public this weekend. Mu Qing felt ready to cry but she kept it in by biting her nails that she luckily hasn’t gotten done yet, like she was planning to do the other day.  

“I thought you would’ve grown out of that habit,” Mu Qing hears the voice of the last person she wants to see, Feng Xin. She looks up with a glare and sees Feng Xin standing there in a change of clothes. Now she wore a black tank top and black leggings, clearly just coming from the gym that the university has. Mu Qing purposely didn’t let her eyes stray further from Feng Xin’s eyes, knowing if she traces the sweat that drips off her body, or the bobbing of her throat as she swallows water from her bottle, then she would certainly just be fuelling the fire of her wet dreams. Feng Xin grew up well, she now had more muscle and more had slight smile and eye wrinkles which just made her more attractive to be honest. Mu Qing forced her eyes down to her phone, continuing to bite her nails.

“Go away,” she mumbles coldly.

Instead, the girl sat next to her and pulled her hand away from her mouth, gently holding her wrist. “You are stressed,” Feng Xin stated in observation making Mu Qing’s eye twitch. This day has been too long, and she was this close to just crawling into a hole and dying there. “Yes Feng Xin, I’m stressed. Thanks for the observation, I wouldn’t have known,” Mu Qing sarcastically rolled her eyes and glared back at her phone. She could tell it took everything in Feng Xin not to blow up on her. “You know, usually when normal people say that they expect an explanation on why you’re stressed. Or are you still too prideful to seek help” Feng Xin said through gritted teeth making Mu Qing feel a sense of pride at getting Feng Xin’s attention this time.

“It’s none of your business, but if you must know... My apartment is under construction for the weekend so I must find a place to stay. There, you happy now?” Mu Qing didn’t mention that it was her fault her apartment got damaged or that this girl is also a big reason for her stress. “I’m debating who to ask for help, now if you please,” Mu Qing waved her hand, gesturing for Feng Xin to leave. She turned back to her phone, it seemed like Pei Ming was going to be the best option since Pei Ming is more likely to just leave her alone to wallow in her self-pity.

Just as she was about to hit the call button she froze at Feng Xin’s next line...

“What if you stay at my place?”

~~~

How did a terrible day get so bad? Here Mu Qing was, not only watching the basic love of her life make them some dinner, but she was also wearing Feng Xin’s t-shirt and some sweatpants from her. Is this what shame feels like? Or was Mu Qing just trying to tell herself that it was shame, so she didn’t face the fact that this domesticity was really nice...

It is what Mu Qing has always wanted, watching Feng Xin make dinner while the two of them teased and bickered like the married couple they were...

But she knew this was pity from Feng Xin’s side. Feng Xin only saw her as a bother. And once Mu Qing’s landlord called her, she’ll leave...

As Mu Qing was about to chew on her nails again, Feng Xin’s gaze stopped her. “Who was that earlier? The guy that had his arm around you?” Feng Xin asked and there was a slight twinge to her voice, as if she was asking out of more than just curiosity. Mu Qing ignored the hope that it was jealousy, she wouldn’t dare hope for something that was impossible. Especially when Jian Lan is bound to walk in later and probably yell at Feng Xin for letting Mu Qing stay here. (Jian Lan was kind to Mu Qing in public and in front of Feng Xin, but Mu Qing didn’t miss the glares and distrust whenever Mu Qing was with Feng Xin). “That was Pei Ming, my friend. He is very clingy, but he has a new date every few weeks. Though if you ask me, he’ll most likely go back to either Yushi Huang or Shi Wudu soon anyway,” Mu Qing explained honestly as Feng Xin set the plate in front of her.

“Oh, I thought you two- “Feng Xin was about to say (in a relieved tone that Mu Qing pointedly ignored) before Mu Qing made a gagging sound. “Nope, definitely not. Not my type,” Mu Qing quickly spoke, trying to get rid of the disgust in her throat by taking a sip of the juice Feng Xin gave her. “Well, what is your type?” Feng Xin asked genuinely sounding interested because as far as she can remember, Mu Qing never liked anyone.

“Women”

“What?”

“My type. Women.”

“Oh.”

It was silent. Mu Qing knew Feng Xin wasn’t homophobic, because obviously Jian Lan, but the silence unnerved her. Was she being too obvious that she liked Feng Xin? Before the conversation can escalate further, Mu Qing spoke. “Why are you here? Did you and Jian Lan move here? I thought it was always her dream to stay there?” Mu Qing asked and silently cursed herself for bringing up Feng Xin’s love life. She expected Feng Xin to say that they are obviously studying there and knowing them, they are already planning on getting married. Mu Qing prepares herself for heartbreak, plastering her emotionless expression on her face as she quickened her eating pace so she can retreat to her room quicker after dinner.

“We broke up.”

“I’m happy for you- Wait what?”

Mu Qing froze as she stared at Feng Xin surprised. Feng Xin seemed just as surprised before bursting out laughing, even dropping her spoon in her soup. She has the most beautiful laugh. It was boisterous and loud and so gorgeous on her. Mu Qing felt her heartbeat quicken as she admired her dear unrequited love. Feng Xin truly was gorgeous in every sense of the word, not that Mu Qing will ever admit it to her face. “Were you expecting me to say we got married? Mu Qing you- Haha- You and your rehearsed answers, I thought you always said that you were going to drop it in uni,” Feng Xin laughed further making Mu Qing blush and pout, looking away.

“Shut up... What happened...? You know between you and Jian Lan... I thought you two were deeply in love?”

“It’s a long story. Basically about a few months after you left, she and I just.. drifted apart. I found out that yes, although I liked her, I liked someone else more. And she... well... she got pregnant.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah...”

It was silent for a while as they both started eating again. Finally, the words sunk in. “You like someone else more? Do you mean Xie Lian?” Mu Qing asked hesitantly, almost like she was determined to spend her night crying herself to sleep. Feng Xin sputtered on her soup as she looked at Mu Qing shocked. “No! No, I only liked her in early high school! I haven’t thought of her in that way in years. Why would you ask that?” Feng Xin asked in a bit of annoyance and Mu Qing stared down at her food.

She still remembered it to this day. Just a week or so before, she told Xie Lian that she has loved Feng Xin since they met at 12, that she was the only one that Mu Qing thinks she’ll ever love. She also remembered the way Xie Lian smiled and hugged her and promised to set them up or at least reassure her that Feng Xin definitely loves her back. Yet as Mu Qing got to school that day she saw it. Feng Xin presenting a bouquet of beautiful red and white roses to Xie Lian, exclaiming about how beautiful and kind she is. How Feng Xin has loved her since the moment they became friends. She remembers her heart cracking as she looked at Xie Lian’s face of shock then worry and finally after meeting Mu Qing’s eyes, a mumble of “I’m sorry”. Whether that was to her or to Feng Xin, it hurt all the same. Mu Qing swallowed down the thorns in her throat and turned to her locker, getting her books and basically running to class. That night she cried herself into oblivion, cried until her pillow was wet. She truly never was good enough for Feng Xin, a simple maid who happened to be smart enough to attend a prestige school. And then soon after came Jian Lan and Mu Qing simply accepted it, feeling numb to the pain.

“You liked her before Jian Lan, it was a simple deduction. Plus, you aren’t truly known for making friends,” Mu Qing responded coldly and with a mocking tone. Feng Xin rolled her eyes and scoffed, simply finishing her food. “No, it isn’t Xie Lian. If I’m being honest I think I like her more than I did Xie Lian too. But she is too stubborn to accept my feelings for fact,” Feng Xin mumbled and once they were both finished, took the dishes to the sink to clean up. Mu Qing glanced down at her clothes and hugged herself. This girl that Feng Xin liked, they better accept her feeling soon. She doesn’t know how long Mu Qing has craved that love. Mu Qing’s heart is tired of fighting for Feng Xin’s simple gaze...

“Oh, by the way there’s only- Is everything okay?” Feng Xin steps back into the room making Mu Qing sit straighter immediately. “Just tired, you know being late, getting my blouse ruined by energy drinks and then having my apartment be redone is pretty rough and hard on a person, right? Now what were you saying?” Mu Qing stood up and looked at Feng Xin as she walked up to her. Feng Xin looked concerned before turning to lead Mu Qing to the bedroom.

“Well, and I know you won’t like this, but there’s only one bedroom. Meaning we have to share, or I can sleep on the couch if you prefer?” Feng Xin spoke as Mu Qing gazed at the far too small bed. If they both sleep on it, they’d basically be forced to cuddle. Mu Qing blushed but lied down on the bed, covering herself in blankets. “I don’t care. I’m just tired. Sleep wherever you want,” Mu Qing spoke as she felt her eyes drift closed. She wasn’t given a response and just assumed that Feng Xin went to sleep on the couch.

Once she heard the clicking of the lights and the footsteps leading out of the room, she let out a shaky sigh and curled up on her side like she always did. She clutched her chest as she felt tears stream down her face. How stupid was this? She praised herself on being in complete control of her emotions 24/7, never letting anyone see her weak and crying. But today was long, too long. The one place she called home got destroyed by her own hands, her in a rush got her clothes absolutely messed up so now she has to spend more of her limited money on clothes to keep up appearances and finally the person that made her heart soar before shooting it down in a flash of a second, was back in her life and now she is just more sure that she stands no chance in the battle for Feng Xin’s heart.

Mu Qing cried silently, making sure no one can hear her. She felt her body start to go limp as sleep almost took over, her eyes drifting shut as she just allowed the tears to stain her cheeks. She can finally sleep, if only for a bit...

“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird since dinner?” Mu Qing froze as the words sounded from across the room. She felt the bed dip down and felt her back press against Feng Xin’s chest so that she was now held close from behind. Mu Qing wished the earth would swallow her whole right here and now. Actually, she really should’ve sent more than a text to Pei Ming for her to come over (which by the way she was going to kill him for the simple response of “Sorry, girl over tonight, don’t want her to get the wrong idea”). She honestly doesn’t care if she’d have to go out with Shi Qingxuan, anything is better than this. What is she supposed to say? “Oh, hey Feng Xin, yeah no I’m fine, you know just crying because I flooded my apartment, my almost 10 year long feelings for you is still not returned and my heart is tired. I’ll be fine by tomorrow though so don’t worry”. Yeah Mu Qing would rather die than say any of that. So instead, she simply chose one word.

“Tired.”

She expected Feng Xin to laugh, to insult her for crying or at least to let go of her and go sleep on the couch, it isn’t like she wants to sleep here. But instead, Mu Qing just gets pulled closer and held tightly against Feng Xin’s chest. “Then sleep, I’m here and I’ll stay for as long as you want,” Feng Xin whispered, nuzzling into Mu Qing’s neck making Mu Qing lean into the touch. What was she doing? She should push away, she should ask what the fuck Feng Xin thinks she is doing after just telling her about her ‘one true love’. Yet whether it be the tiredness or Mu Qing finally getting some semblance of attention (hope) she decides to throw caution to the wind.

“I doubt you’d want to stay forever Feng Xin. Stop with your pity. If my crying annoys you then wear noise cancelling headphones till I fall asleep.”

Feng Xin sighs softly and shakes her head exasperated. Mu Qing expects the arms around her to be pulled back and she’ll finally rest in peace, although with a bit of heartbreak. What she doesn’t expect is to be pinned down with Feng Xin between her legs and for the girl to place a soft kiss on her cheek, basically wiping away her tears.

“There you go again, just assuming how I feel. It worked in high school, but it isn’t going to work now. Mu Qing, if you want me to stay forever, why did you leave first?” Feng Xin’s gentle, but husky voice whispered into her ear. Mu Qing habitually struggled in the face of being asked such questions, but Feng Xin kept her grip on her wrists making it impossible to leave. Mu Qing gritted her teeth as she glared at Feng Xin, continuing to struggle. Frustration and heartbreak are two powerful motivators. Thus, it came as no surprise when Mu Qing suddenly shouted out a reply.

“Fucking asshole, you are being a dick! It hurts Feng Xin! It hurts so much! I didn’t want to confess my undying love for my best friend after just watching her suck face with Jian Lan who saw me as nothing more than a lowly servant! I left because of you! I love you Feng Xin, but I get it, I was never good enough like Xie Lian and Jian Lan was!”

Mu Qing screeched her answer out like a siren that was just caught. Feng Xin immediately froze and let go of Mu Qing, sitting up. Mu Qing saw the look in Feng Xin’s eyes, shock, fear... a hint of something Mu Qing can only amount to hate or disgust. Mu Qing felt tears stream down her face as she stared up at the girl in front of her, feeling her heart shatter like it did that day with Xie Lian. Mu Qing got up from the bed and quickly wiped away her tears, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. She hugged herself and started walking, not wanting to be here another second.

“Mu Qi- “

“I get it, you want me gone. I’ll return your clothes Monday, then we don’t ever have to see each other ever again. It worked well the last few years, didn’t it?” Mu Qing seethed as she rushed her way to the door. Feng Xin stayed frozen and made no move to stop Mu Qing as she exited the apartment.

After walking around for a while, she stumbled upon a hotel. She paid for her room and quickly just got under the covers, planning on spending her weekend just there...

~~~

Monday came way too quickly. Mu Qing luckily got her apartment back and ended up washing Feng Xin’s clothes that she later realized she was still wearing. Most of the weekend was spent in bed, crying over Feng Xin’s obvious disgust at Mu Qing’s feelings. But now Mu Qing stood in front of the gate at campus in a cute dress and leg warmers along with her most comfy high heel boots. She breathed in and out before stepping in, immediately searching for Feng Xin to return her clothes.

It didn’t take long for Mu Qing to spot her, mostly because she found her with a massive bouquet. Mu Qing paused a bit and frowned. Oh... was Feng Xin really going to ask someone out again today? Right after this weekend? Well Mu Qing really didn’t expect that Feng Xin cared much about her feelings, but still... ouch. Mu Qing stood up straighter and allowed an aura of aloofness to surround her. She walked up to Feng Xin with a cold expression, simply dropping the bag of clothes on the table in front of Feng Xin. “Here, thank you for letting me use it,” she simply spoke in a cold tone, quickly turning around and walking the other way.

She was shocked when suddenly Feng Xin grabbed her wrist and turned her around, making them face each other. “Wait Mu Qing... I...” Feng Xin sounded just as tired as Mu Qing was. Mu Qing looked at her hesitantly and tilted her head, just allowing Feng Xin to lower her hand and hold hers instead. “What is it? I have classes soon,” Mu Qing responded still putting up the barriers she was used to around Feng Xin.

“This is for you,” Feng Xin explained and held out the bouquet. Mu Qing frowned at the various blue and purple coloured flowers. It was beautiful yes, Mu Qing even spotted some ‘Lily of the Valleys’ which always were her favourite flowers as well as ‘Hyacinths’. Overall, it was an aesthetically pleasing but...

“Hyacinths mean apologies. You don’t have to give this to me. Rather spend your money on your beloved.”

“They also mean love, so does your favourite flower. The bouquet reminds me of your eyes. Plus, I think you’ll see red roses as tacky. So... Mu Qing will you go out with me?”

Mu Qing was totally frozen. What was happening? Just Friday, Feng Xin was disgusted with her and now she was confessing? Was Feng Xin playing with her? Of course she was, it’s the only reasonable answer.

“Fuck you, you asshole”

“Mu Qing- “

“No! What happened Friday was a mistake. Go give this to your lover, you asshole”

“Mu Qing, you are the person I was talking about! You are the person I love more than I ever loved Xie Lian and Jian Lan! I...”

Mu Qing watched as Feng Xin’s shoulders slumped and she let go of Mu Qing’s hand, raking it through her hair which messed up her usual neat bun. “The day after you left, I went to see you, just to see people moving your old furniture out. I panicked and searched everywhere for you, any place I can think of. I went to Xie Lian, and she said you left for university and she thought I knew. I was heartbroken. I missed you so much. I think I started distancing myself from Jian Lan and that’s why she cheated so I never blamed her... But... all I could think of is how I’ll never see you again. It didn’t take long for me to realized that I love you Mu Qing.”

This wasn’t happening, this can’t be happening. Feng Xin in love with her? No way. Did she cry herself into a coma and was now dreaming? Trying to catch Feng Xin’s bluff, she thought of Feng Xin’s hateful expression. Yes, that never lies, especially with Feng Xin!

“Then... then why did you look so disgusted at me when I said I loved you Friday?”

Feng Xin looked at Mu Qing shocked and gently grabbed her shoulders, keeping her still as Feng Xin leaned closer, resting her forehead on hers, basically forcing Mu Qing to look into her eyes. “Not disgust Mu Qing, I was mad that I didn’t realize it sooner. I am being serious; I love you so much. Have for a while now. I will hate myself if I let you go again. So please, if you were serious Friday... you don’t have to say anything yet... Just please... give me a sign...”

Feng Xin closed her eyes and let go of Mu Qing, allowing her to make her final decision. Mu Qing, as always when it comes to matters of the heart, wavered. She loved Feng Xin; she truly did but what if... what if...

Mu Qing frowned as she thought of all the what ifs. She looked at Feng Xin, still with her eyes closed and realized for once that she didn’t have to overthink this. No one knew Mu Qing’s favourite flower was the ‘lily of the valley’ except maybe Xie Lian. Meaning either Feng Xin asked for advice or she just remembered an off-handed comment Mu Qing made, both of which show how serious she took this. Mu Qing swallowed and walked over to the love of her life, resting her head on Feng Xin’s chest.

“Of course I was serious you idiot... I... I have loved you since we met when we were 12 years old...”

“Wait, what?!”

Feng Xin pulled back in surprise making Mu Qing groan in annoyance, blushing darkly as she turned her face away. “Shut up,” Mu Qing mumbled and before Feng Xin can continue her rants, Mu Qing leaned closer and softly kissed Feng Xin. After a moment of silence where Mu Qing almost regretted being so forward, Feng Xin suddenly hugged Mu Qing’s waist closer to her and held her tightly, kissing her deeply and passionately. Mu Qing can’t help the small hum she let out at how nice the kiss felt, but that only made Feng Xin kiss her more.

Mu Qing finally got free of the kiss and panted as she glared at Feng Xin. “Not in public idiot,” Mu Qing mumbled and covered her face and her kiss bruised lips. Feng Xin got a satisfied glint in her eyes as she leaned down. “If not in public, can we go continue in my apartment?” Feng Xin sweetly asked but with a mischievous smile, as she already grabbed their things and lead them to her apartment.

“Feng Xin, I have class! - “

“I’m sure you can miss one lecture, baobei~”

Even though Mu Qing was hesitant, she allowed Feng Xin to lead the way, all while holding her hand. Maybe, truly today was the best day of her life.

Chapter Text

“You can’t actually be serious?”

Xie Lian didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry. He must admit, the idea sounded stupid, even to his own ears and he was the one to think of it. But if he thinks of the other option, this is much better.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you two anymore, it’s just for a while till I can find an apartment with the money I make from teaching defence classes and life would be better from there,” he simply explained all while moving around the apartment, making sure he has everything he needed. The other two, his best friends since kindergarten, were following him around said apartment, clearly upset over this development. He could see how Feng Xin and Mu Qing looked at him utterly bewildered.

“Who told you that you were taking advantage?” Mu Qing asked fiercely and based on Feng Xin’s clenched fists; he also seemed to agree with the sentiment. Xie Lian won’t lie, some people have asked him when he is going to move out and ‘stand on his own two feet’ but Xie Lian felt that giving his friends the names would end in a possible murder case.

“No really, no one told me that. It just feels like I need to move on from... this. I want to live my life and build up my space in this world. It has nothing to do with you two, I am forever thankful that you guys let me stay,” Xie Lian quickly explained. Honestly, that excuse was so sugar-coated. Xie Lian did of course feel guilty for living with his friends and barely being able to pay his share of the rent for the huge apartment plus the fact that his now bedroom was once office space that they gave up and moved for him (Xie Lian pretends not to hear the two of them argue as they are squished together while trying to do their respective work). Though if he was being honest, he also couldn’t spent another night listening to his friends, the people he’s known since he was in kindergarten, doing... adult things.... in the room next to his.

As Xie Lian continued to clean up everything that belonged to him in the apartment, he couldn’t help thinking about how he ended up here. His parents recently died, which caused Xie Lian himself to basically become a sort of hermit, not going out and basically lying in bed all day thanks to the grief. It is only thanks to him being forcibly evicted from his apartment and living with his friends, that he managed to get a better outlook on life. As thankful as he is that he gets to stay there and their efforts to make sure his grief is staved off by bringing him gifts and taking him out repeatedly, he doesn’t want this lifestyle to continue.

“So, your ‘moving on’ means living in an abandoned apartment building where there might be ghosts or worse, murderers,” Mu Qing raised an eyebrow as he stared at Xie Lian as if he has grown dog ears on his head. Feng Xin looked less pissed and more worried that Xie Lian might actively fall victim to being murdered. Xie Lian sighed softly, knowing it sounded stupid, but he wanted to move on and live his own life, plus not see his friends so worried about him 24/7.

“Those are stories at best Mu Qing. Please let me just try it for one night, if it feels too creepy or if I feel unsafe, I’ll be back. And besides that, it’s not like I am disappearing forever, I’ll invite you two over immediately when I get an apartment. Or if it makes you feel better, I’ll check in tomorrow after I’m done with the classes,” Xie Lian reassured and finally headed to his bedroom, ready to start packing everything to be moved to the ‘apartment’. Feng Xin and Mu Qing (as expected) followed him to his room and immediately objected to everything he just said.

“Stories? Xie Lian have you seen the news. ‘The killer with a crimson umbrella’ was spotted multiple times looming around there!” Feng Xin objected immediately.

“In the papers and news, it says he is merciless, killing anyone who steps into the apartment building!” Mu Qing warned again, but Xie Lian didn’t listen as he stuffed his things in a bag for the next portion of his life. He’ll probably be coming by a lot, if just to reassure his friends that he is still living and breathing. He thinks of the research he did when he thought of going to the apartment.

‘The killer with a crimson umbrella’

It’s a local legend that apparently started when someone saw a man in a crimson raincoat loitering around the abandoned building and thus became an internet creepypasta of some sorts. The stories go that if you should go to the apartment building or find yourself trapped inside, you should not give the man in crimson your name. You can strike up a deal with this man in crimson, and he will make your wishes come true, that is if you give him your name. The catch is if you do that then he has control over your soul, making you a nameless being once dead and basically under his control in his domain after your death. According to some tales, if you get his name or give him a name (depending on which story you believe in) he is the being under your control. But that is said to be difficult and again is just a story. In Xie Lian’s experience from hearing parents talk about the legend, it is all some scary story to teach children to not give personal information so easily. And the ‘pictures’? Edited at best.

Of course it will be dangerous, Xie Lian will basically be staying in a hot spot for what would be a perfect place for criminal activity. But that is real, it is something he can defend himself against easily. It isn’t some stupid ghost story where he’ll be ‘trapped’ and ‘his soul will be taken’. It also isn’t some fae trap like he has seen some speculation of on these forums claiming the man in crimson was a fae.

Overall, it is a nice creepypasta. But that’s all it is, in Xie Lian’s eyes at least. If the photos are real then maybe the man in red is simply a homeless man who got out of the rain by using the building as a roof over his head. But because of this tale’s infamy, there are no patrols done in the building, so it is a relatively ‘safe’ (in other words, no chances for trespassing charges if police find you) place for homeless people if you brave enough to stay there. And it’s all Xie Lian has to finally garner some semblance of freedom. Xie Lian once he was done packing, softly placed his hands on Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s shoulders, with a gentle smile gracing his lips.

“If you guys are so concerned, I’ll come back tomorrow and keep my phone with me and always charged so I am just a call away. Besides the apartment building is a 20 minute walk from here, I am just around the corner. I promise you two that I will be safe and if something insane happens, I won’t say my name and I’ll immediately come back. I promise,” Xie Lian promised and his friends seemed to calm down. It seemed they knew of his need to be free for the first time in months and besides that, it might be nice for them to finally have some alone time together. So, they simply nodded and if the hugs were a bit tighter than normal, no one mentioned it.

~~~

Xie Lian was finally done settling in. He decided on an abandoned room on the second floor since it still has a bed frame and mattress along with a built in closet. Of course, it was dusty and Xie Lian definitely had to clean up before he actively ‘lives’ there, but it was safe and actually has a door, so Xie Lian has privacy! Though the cleaning is much harder said than done as pretty quickly Xie Lian realized no lights worked and there was no water, meaning both were shut off years ago. Xie Lian feels a shiver go up his spine as he remembers the multitude of pictures he saw where the lights were on. That was apparently taken a few weeks ago and this has been abandoned for years. Could the stories-

No.

No Xie Lian was not going to freak himself out within the first few hours he spent here. He needs to prove to Feng Xin and Mu Qing that he was able to fend for himself at least till he can stand on his own two feet. So, Xie Lian finished packing out and dusting what he could, putting the candles he brought (for in case this place didn’t have power) on the nightstand. Xie Lian then, with the little courage he could muster up, used the flashlight on his phone to explore the rest of the building. It was actually quite nice, eery for sure but it wasn’t half as dilapidated as Xie Lian expected it to be. He walked around most of the first three floors before finally stumbling upon a man that appeared to be sleeping. Xie Lian pulled the white rain coat he was wearing closer to himself as he suddenly got chilly.

“Excuse me sir... I don’t mean to bother you, but I am staying- “Xie Lian talked in a quiet tone, wanting to explain that he was staying there (so the man didn’t think he was the crimson killer). Upon no response he continued walking closer soon stopping right next to the man. Xie Lian kneeled down, shaking a bit in nerved as he turned him over. He suddenly, with a soft gasp, realized the man was cold, and he clearly felt something wet on his hands. He shakily pointed his phone to his hand, seeing it covered in blood. Xie Lian felt sick as he stood up and turned around quietly, walking calmly to the door, all while his whole body was rushing him to go back to his friends’ apartment and stay there, guilt be damned. His thoughts were screaming at him to run, but he knew any footsteps would alert the killer.

Little did he know it was useless as he heard a voice behind him.

“□☐☐ ☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐, ☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐” (You kill him, what wish?)

Xie Lian felt his whole body freeze up as he heard that voice. It was speaking in a language he did not understand; it sounded like gibberish to him. He turned around slowly and was immediately met with crimson. Before he could react the man leaned down, the umbrella he was holding now covering the both of them as the man who was towering above him now looked at him in the eye. The man was wearing a crimson raincoat and had the crimson umbrella to back it up. His long black hair was in a braid, tied off with a red string and his long wild hair covered the upper part of his face so it was impossible to see. He had an eery smile that stretched wide. Xie Lian without much more need for examination immediately knew who this was.

‘The killer with the crimson umbrella’

Xie Lian couldn’t respond as he didn’t really know what the man said. Thus, he did the next best thing. He ran, he ran as fast as he could away from the man to the staircase, only to see if blocked off. Is this what the articles were talking about when they referred to ‘his domain’ and him being able to change it at will. Could he really change the layout of this place as he wished?! Judging from the fact that the walls were being tinged a red colour as the man approached, the answer was a definite ‘yes’.

Xie Lian realizing he was trapped and being followed by the man, had the urge to beat this guy with his extensive martial arts training but a green glow among the red tinted walls caught his eyes. The elevator? Wait did this place have power if under his domain? Could Xie Lian use it to get to the first floor and escape like that? Or at least hide from him?

It could be a trap...

Xie Lian looked back and was met with the glitchy figure of the man gaining the distance between them. Xie Lian was like a trapped little mouse, waiting to be caught. At least in the elevator he could make a call or have protection from this man for a while. He made the decision and ran to the elevator, pressing the ‘down’ button repeatedly. He was surprised when it opened and he immediately got in pressing the first floor button repeatedly till the doors closed again. He was surprised when it actually went down...

And down...

And down...

It felt like it was going down forever until the doors opened making Xie Lian get out ready to run. He felt his blood run cold as he realized... this was not the first floor; it was a single boxed in room with one door leading out and to another room that looked mostly the same. Xie Lian swallowed realizing he truly was trapped. He felt himself get dizzy as the world shook from under him, the room changing shape. It was like a maze...

And Xie Lian was trapped in it...

He turned back to go into the elevator once the room stopped shaking, only to realize it was gone, his escape was gone!

It was too much, everything hurt, Xie Lian couldn’t breathe, was he going to die here?!

Xie Lian couldn’t stop hyperventilating as the world around him turned dark and he passed out right there, hoping it was some messed up dream.

~~~

“☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐?” (You alright)

Xie Lian woke up to gentle petting on his head and if it weren’t for the use of that weird language again, he would think the previous night was all just a dream. He sat up bolt right and stared at the being in front of them. It appeared to be a lady, dressed in old Chinese style robes. It was ripped near the hems of both the arms and the legs, and she had long brown hair that was currently to the ground from where she was sitting on the ground. Despite it being rather messy, she had a beautiful hair ornament with a black stone in the centre, creating an intricate half up, half down style. She had on a face full of make-up that surprisingly didn’t age her but instead added to her eery beauty. She was pretty by all means but looking at the fangs in her mouth as she smiles and the fact that her hair also covers her eyes completely, it was creepy.

So much so that Xie Lian scurried back against a wall, grabbing the thing closest to him (which happened to be a crowbar) and pointed it at her. “Stay away!” Xie Lian shouted which made the girl pull back in shock a bit. In that second Xie Lian realized why the robes by her arms and legs were ripped. Her leg was broken meaning while she could stand, it would be painful. And judging by her focusing most of her energy on not using her one arm, it was clear she broke that too. It was a pitiful sight, so much so it caught Xie Lian off guard when she laughed.

“☐☐☐ ☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐, ☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐.” (You not understand me, intellect small)

She spoke again and the sound of her little giggles and laughs were unnerving... but cute in a weird way. Xie Lian didn’t sense any ill will from her so while he kept the crowbar in hand, he did lower it just to his side so they can have a civil conversation. She smiles widely at him and moves closer to him with little care. Clearly she was clingy. She pointed to herself with a smile and gave a small sound, “☐☐.” And she repeated it until Xie Lian pointed to himself and tried to pronounce that word. She smiled and nodded cheerfully. She pointed to him next, “☐☐☐.” Xie Lian repeated the word while pointing at her which she happily clapped at. Wait was she teaching him the language?!

So, with a soft smile he pointed to himself again, saying the same word as the first time, “Me.” He pointed back to her and said the second word again, “You.” This seemed to make her happy as she happily nodded and celebrated with small giggles. It seems she actually was teaching him then, which was kind of endearing. “☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐!!!” (Intellect big) She yelled out happily making Xie Lian sigh slightly. This was going to take a while before he gets the hang of another language. At least she seemed like good company once you start learning...

~~~

Xie Lian has spent a while travelling with this girl who he named ‘Ms Crawling Wind’, once he remembered that these are the people who made deals with the one he aptly named ‘Mr Crimson Rain’ and thus has no names. The name was based on her crawling and the wind patterns on her robes, but upon using the name it clearly had no effect on his control over her. Meaning the ‘gaining control over Mr Crimson Rain through giving him a name’ was probably false. She was really kind and taught him a lot just from him touching certain stuff and her saying what it is, even giving him directions to a person she called “Beloved” (That one took a while to get the right Chinese term for the word, it took Xie Lian pointing to his heart and saying ‘you like resident’ to get that word’). He can apparently teach Xie Lian more words and actually worked as a medic here so he can maybe help Xie Lian with his constant dizziness and the red tint to his skin he has realized over the time here.

The route was quite easy, and Xie Lian finally found himself getting the hang of the language. That was until they started stumbling into more residents of this domain. The one he named “Mr Green Gap” would only talk to him through gaps. He would offer to give him things if Xie Lian offers pieces of his body to him. The first was his heart which thanks to Ms Crawling Wind, he actively refused and the next was a piece of his hair for them to be transported closer to the ‘Beloved’ resident. Mr Green Gap was helpful and as he liked to say, ‘a good resident’, but except for the fun company every now and again, he wasn’t that ‘good’.

The next resident they meet is a chopped off head and a hand. Ms Crawling Wind seemed to like this resident enough and they seemed to have a good bond, they even look similar, as if they can be siblings. But after a quick hug from Ms Crawling Wind, they left the head (Xie Lian decided to name him Mr Chopped) alone to find who the beheaded resident trusts the most. Apparently upon further questioning this trusted resident was a general (judging by the description Ms Crawling Wind gave him) who has gotten attached to and likes to protect Mr Chopped. But the head doesn’t seem to like the constant attention, so he hides away from Mr General, waiting for the general to find him and take him back to their home. Xie Lian noticed his companion was getting upset as they talked about Mr Chopped and decided to leave the conversation with a final question.

“Why not take him to Beloved?”

“Beloved not like him. Beloved not want him there.”

Xie Lian wanted to know more but judging by Ms Crawling Wind’s sluggish movements and frown, he knew it was best to leave the conversation there.

~~~

“We here!”

The companion he has met shouted as she opened the door, revealing a massive room that has a table and even seating areas, almost like a living room. It was even decorated! (Most likely by what can be gathered through the ‘dump site’ they passed on the way here). It looked cozy, clearly a permanent living space rather than a room that shifts every few hours. It was rather cute how immediately happy the crawling woman got and how she immediately looked around for her partner and the supposed doctor of this world.

At this point Xie Lian was beyond tired, and a strange redness can be seen covering his arms and legs, making it difficult to walk. He isn’t even sure how he looks like, but it can’t be good considering what he has been through. He can do with a nap, but Ms Crawling Wind urged him to stay awake, at least till they reached her beloved. The woman helped him to the room attached to this one which happened to be an actual hospital room. Really, what was this world?

The woman disappeared for a while but soon came back with a man in tow. He had on a long black robe which covered his figure completely. He had a black ribbon around his eyes and Xie Lian felt a chill go down his spine as he saw what looked like blood on the ribbon, though since it was black, it was hard to tell for sure. The man also had long black hair that was loose and surprisingly well kept (probably thanks to his lover who seemed to think about appearances a lot, purely the mention of clothes would send the crawling woman into a frenzy trying to find new ones). Even through the blindfold it is as if the man (now named in his mind ‘Mr Black Water’ thanks to his choice of colour and the water markings on his clothes) saw Xie Lian and immediately pulled out a needle.

Xie Lian, obviously taken aback, cowered a bit which caused the crawling woman to let her beloved know through various sounds. The man paused a bit before nodding and simply sitting next to Xie Lian instead.

“Take ☐☐☐☐☐, test ☐☐☐☐☐, find out how me help you.”

Xie Lian was now very happy he took the time to learn these words. He figured the word he didn’t know was ‘blood’. Did this guy know how to do blood tests? It was honestly impressive for Xie Lian considering the only technology he has seen has been an old telephone that was still connected to a landline (the telephone was helpful, warning of certain dangers and even giving them the right path). Xie Lian however trusted his companion and in doing so he trusted this man. He nodded and allowed a sample to be taken.

“Rest, me talk later- “

The man paused as the walls around them turned an eery red colour. Xie Lian thinks back to the man in red from before and felt his interest pique. This man cornered him in this world, and it seems the only way out is finding the exit, which is the elevator. This is his domain still and judging by the footsteps echoing in the halls, the man was looking for him. Xie Lian was about to ask when suddenly the woman shook her head and covered Xie Lian’s eyes. It seems even the residents here are scared of him or at least cautious of him. If the stories can be believed and these people had been tricked into giving their names (souls) to this demon, the fear was understandable.

“Dangerous resident, do not talk, do not give name. Rest now.”

Mr Black Water spoke as the apartment returned back to normal. Ms Crawling Wind offered a nod and a smile as she got off the bed and followed her beloved out of the room, most likely giving him space and time to rest for a while. If it weren’t for the man in red who clouded Xie Lian’s thoughts, he probably would’ve fallen asleep easily. Yet as he thought of everything that happened, he fought to stay awake, until finally he couldn’t as his consciousness finally drifted away.

~~~

“Your blood little. Get more blood. Or leave through exit (elevator).”

Was Mr Black Water’s diagnosis when Xie Lian stepped out of his room a few hours later. Was he getting anaemia while he was here? That definitely explains the tiredness. By ‘getting blood’ did he mean killing someone and drinking their blood? The thought made Xie Lian shiver as he nodded showing he understood what he had to do. Mr Black Water nodded before heading into what Xie Lian assumed was his study. Ms Crawling Wind smiled at him and gently took his hands.

“Want me follow you?”

“You want stay here?”

This seemed to shock the woman as she leaned back in surprise. That seemed to strike a nerve as she looked at her broken legs and then to the door exiting to the rest of the domain and then finally at the study door. She looked up at Xie Lian with a sad but genuine smile as she nodded (which honestly truly shocked Xie Lian as the woman would constantly ask him about the ‘other world’ as she called it). But she seemed adamant about staying.

“My home here. Me not leave. Me stay”

Xie Lian after momentary shock nodded and smiled, giving his friend a hug before smiling and waving at her. They exchanged goodbyes before finally Xie Lian left with a heavy heart. He honestly truly wanted to free the people here but as he stumbled upon more and more of the residents and asked them the same thing, they all seemed like they found this place home. As much as they hated the owner of this place, they found peace here in this ever changing world, either having met friends or lovers here and not wanting to leave it. It was endearing in a way and just made Xie Lian that much more interested in meeting and maybe even talking to the man in red.

The exception to the ‘home’ rule is of course as always Mr Green Gap, but it seems he isn’t trapped in this domain and in exchange for his fingers (Xie Lian realized soon that his healing abilities got so good they can regenerate things like fingers in less than a few minutes so he made a deal with the asshole of a ghost, fingers in exchange for information and food), he realized the ghost has been spotted in the human realm a few times. Xie Lian is surprised at just how many times he sees this ghost, so much so that despite his overall awful and trickster personality, he would consider keeping an eye out for him when he returns home. Overall, it didn’t take Xie Lian long before he stumbled upon the red ghost again. This time it was Xie Lian who made the first move.

“Hello.”

Out of all the things he’s learned from the people here, he has found out one thing. As long as you have a conversation with him without giving him your name, he is basically harmless. Just don’t make a deal with him and don’t give him your name. A sick part of Xie Lian wanted to get this guy’s name to get control of the domain and get home, but he squished that part down. At least till he learned more about him, if this truly was a bad guy, Xie Lian might consider it an option.

The man in red turned around and in a flash was in front of Xie Lian with that same smile, and now showing both his eyes. One red, one black. It was piercing. And if Xie Lian was honest rather attractive, but that wasn’t the point here! He still had his hair in a braid with the red string on the end. He once again tilted the umbrella to cover the both of them, though mostly Xie Lian. He tilted his head curiously.

“Hello. You learn language. Smart human.”

Xie Lian must admit, this man’s voice was much more attractive now that he knew what all the words meant. But he knew his resolve had to be strong if he wanted to talk to this man, so he sucked in a breath and responded calmly.

“You make mistake. Me not summon you. Me not want wish.”

Xie Lian after learning the language realized what Mr Crimson Rain said to him at first. He was asking him what wish he wanted since he thought Xie Lian killed those humans (or at least the man he found) to summon the red ghost to make a deal with him. It was honestly terrifying, but maybe if this ghost knew he made a mistake, he would let Xie Lian go... Hopefully...

“You not want wish? You not give name?”

The man seemed saddened by this, but also... understanding. Despite Xie Lian’s expectations of the man simply being disappointed and leaving him to rot, the man stayed and now seemed even more interested in Xie Lian, which made butterflies appear in his stomach.

“Me want name. You give name, me give exit (elevator).”

“No. Me leave now. Goodbye.”

Xie Lian stayed strong as he walked past Mr Crimson Rain which seemed to surprise the ghost. That only lasted a second as the ghost soon followed Xie Lian keeping his umbrella over the both of them as they walked in relative silence.

“Why you follow?”

“Human smart, me like human. Me still want name.”

Xie Lian was kind of surprised by that. He wasn’t going to make a deal, and he knew that the ghost was aware of that, yet... the ghost was still interested in following him around? Was he going to accompany Xie Lian till the elevator? Xie Lian must admit... he was getting lonely and tired of the walking so having a companion would be nice. Besides that, maybe if the name thing stopped, Mr Crimson Rain might be a really nice person?

“Me give my name if you give yours,” Xie Lian mused, mostly teasing the ghost, yet was surprised when this made the ghost let out a gorgeous laugh at the joke. “Me not stupid, me not give name, me want your name,” Mr Crimson Rain responded yet still followed knowing how unlikely it is. Xie Lian wondered what would happen if he gave another name or a nickname rather than his actual name. Would Mr Crimson Rain know? Most likely but still, some part of him wanted to test the waters a bit.

“My name Gege,” Xie Lian responded looking up at Mr Crimson Rain, only to see the ghost studying him as well. “Gege?” the ghost in red responded and Xie Lian would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a sliver of attraction at those words. But the ghost only shook his head with what looked like a rather fond smile. “Name not Gege. Give name, me give exit,” Mr Crimson Rain responded making Xie Lian laugh and shake his head as a no. The ghost graciously accepted it as they walked side by side through the rooms. It was a content silence sometimes filled with their bantering and other times Mr Crimson Rain’s helpful advice.

It didn’t take long for Xie Lian to feel that same tiredness overtake him as he sluggishly leaned against the wall to catch his breath and hopefully make the room stop spinning. Despite the constant bickering between the two over the name and Xie Lian’s continuous need to help the residents here, this time Mr Crimson didn’t give his usual ‘give name to get to exit’ or if in the case of Xie Lian helping others the ‘you do what you want’ (Xie Lian can’t miss the soft smile that spread on his face whenever it happened). This time the man lowered his umbrella to the floor and looked at Xie Lian actively confused. He must know a human can’t survive in this world for long. Xie Lian at some point thought that the ghost was leading him away from the exit, but the ghost admitted, he just makes the rooms change, he doesn’t know where the exit is (since he himself can just teleport between the worlds).

Xie Lian hates how easy he believed him as he sank to the floor curling in on himself. The red has spread from his arms and legs to his chest and was now crawling up his neck. “Human not healthy. Human need help?” Mr Crimson Rain genuinely sounded worried as he kneeled in front of Xie Lian, petting his back and hair in comfort as if waiting for Xie Lian to explain how to help. “Thanks for the observation Mr Crimson Rain... I never would’ve guessed,” Xie Lian gasped in a breath at the pain not realizing he reverted back to his own language which seemed to confuse the ghost.

“Blood little. Me weak now. Give time. Me need find gap.”

Xie Lian explained thinking he could just crawl till he finds a space where he can make a deal with Mr Green Gap, since he knew Mr Crimson Rain would just ask for his name in return for help. Granted if Mr Green Gap was feeling cruel he could ask for his heart and then Xie Lian just had to hope that the exit was nearby so he can return home quickly. Though as he looked up, he realized the mention of the other ghost made Mr Crimson Rain frown a bit as if contemplating it.

Xie Lian was just about to try to stand up or even crawl when suddenly Mr Crimson Rain walked over to a piece of sharp rock that probably fell during the recent change. Xie Lian was confused till he saw the crimson ghost use it to make a cut on his arm, blood spilling from the wound. “What you do?! You hurt you,” Xie Lian shouted and with his last amount of energy stood up and ran to the ghost holding his hands over the wound to stop the bleeding as he looked at Mr Crimson Rain worriedly. This expression seemed to surprise the man in red as he gently helped Xie Lian and himself sit down on the floor, leaning against a wall.

“Your blood little. Take mine,” Mr Crimson Rain explained making Xie Lian freeze a bit. Logically this man would be powerful, his blood even more so and in this domain it might genuinely help Xie Lian... but why? Why this worried look on his face? Why the sad smile he was offering? And again, this time there was no mention of a deal or an exchange, just simple concern. “No name give?” Xie Lian asked confused and Mr Crimson Rain immediately shook his head, pushing his arm closer to Xie Lian’s mouth as if urgently trying to save him. Xie Lian hesitantly nodded and took his hand off the wound, starting to drink from the wound.

It felt odd, it felt so definitely weird but also... relaxing in a way. As Xie Lian drank more of the blood he felt himself becoming stronger and all the pain from his aching limbs (because of the walking and the red marks appearing on his skin) also disappeared. Xie Lian expected this to make him feel energized, yet he found himself overly tired, so much so he subconsciously rested all his weight on Mr Crimson Rain. The moment was short lived as it seemed Crimson Rain’s healing abilities were just as good as his and the wound soon closed up, not allowing any more blood to be let out. Xie Lian in his still dazed state realized Crimson Rain wanted to make a new wound but stopped him. “Me okay now. Blood more. Me feel better,” Xie Lian assured him, yet he couldn’t get rid of the hazy cloud over his mind.

Once again, he stubbornly fought against the unconscious once more as he repeatedly rubbed his eyes and sat straighter to wake himself up. Xie Lian finally became aware that he was in Mr Crimson Rain’s lap while the ghost had his arms protectively around his waist, with his umbrella also covering Xie Lian from danger. It was cute and Xie Lian felt his heart flutter at Mr Crimson Rain’s protectiveness and care. He wanted to stand and prove he was better, but he just felt his head rest on Mr Crimson Rain’s chest while the ghost in red combed through his hair and smoothed the still sensitive skin on his arms to clear any leftover aches.

“Gege safe. Gege rest now. Me protect you.”  

Xie Lian was touched by the soft uses of the previously given nickname and felt the fight leave his body. He still didn’t know if he should fully trust this ghost, but he didn’t have much of a choice at the moment. His eyes fluttered shut as he kept hearing Mr Crimson Rain whispering reassurances in his ear which honestly helped lull him into a restful sleep.

“Goodnight Mr Crimson Rain.”

Said Mr Crimson Rain tensed up and lifted his chin from Xie Lian’s head to look at him shocked. It was clear by that reaction that he didn’t expect he had a nickname of his own. Yet judging by the soft rumble in his chest that Xie Lian felt (since his head was comfortably resting on his chest), he clearly didn’t mind it at all. Perhaps, judging by that same fond smile, he liked it.

“Goodnight Gege.”

~~~

Xie Lian woke up in... a comfortable bed? He almost thought this whole thing was a dream and although he would be sad about losing his friends (which Xie Lian included the man in red), he was happy to pack up and go back to living with his friends. Maybe making visits here more often to prove that his dream was real and to see the man in red again. He opened his eyes expecting the apartment building he was using as a temporary home but was met instead with the dilapidated walls he has grown to know over his stay in this other world. He sighed softly and sat up, looking around.

He was surprised and honestly kind of sad to not see the man in red and instead came face to face with Ms Crawling Wind. She let out a happy sound seeing Xie Lian awake and was about to go out (most likely to get her beloved), when Xie Lian stopped her. Xie Lian still felt a bit dizzy, but he felt much better, clearly proving that the blood thing was not a dream. Which meant...

“Where dangerous resident?”

Xie Lian asked knowing if Ms Crawling didn’t know it meant he was found by her and that Mr Crimson Rain did just leave him. But judging by the fall of her smile and her looking paler than normal, she clearly knew what he was talking about... Did Crimson Rain drop him off here to get looked after? Though the oddest thing wasn’t even that concept of care, it was the fact that Ms Crawling’s eyes drifted down to Xie Lian’s hand. Xie Lian followed the gaze and realized that he had a red string tied to his finger. Wait was this what he thought it was?! It was the same string that kept Crimson Rain’s hair in his normal neat braid.

“Dangerous resident not allowed here. This Beloved’s domain. Dangerous resident cannot be here.”

Xie Lian felt even more confused as he looked at the red string, not keeping his eyes off of it. “Where you find me?”

“Not find you. Dangerous resident carry you here. Beloved not happy. Me take you in to rest.”

Xie Lian smiled at her and softly pets her hair (which he realized earlier is a show of affection in this world) to thank her. She lets out a happy sound before finally hugging him and smiling brightly as she let go. “Me go get beloved.” She explained which made Xie Lian nod. She crawled out of the room and soon both her and Mr Black Water were back.

Mr Black Water checked his blood again and found that whatever Mr Crimson Rain has done, worked in making Xie Lian better. However, he explained that this was mainly a temporary solution. It can save Xie Lian a few times, but if Xie Lian stays here for too long and continues to solely rely on them to keep him alive, he won’t survive. Thus, the final advice Mr Black Water can give is that Xie Lian leave this place as soon as he can and not turn back no matter what. Before he can stand up and leave Xie Lian decided to ask him a few things. Out of everyone Mr Black Water seems to know this place the most. Maybe he has been here for the longest.

“Why he leave this?”

Xie Lian asked and pointed to the string. Mr Black Water froze at the question and turned around. It was silent as everyone in the room just stared at the red string around Xie Lian’s finger. Xie Lian blushed a bit realizing it was his ring finger but judging by the close relationships of some residents and the lack of rings, he doubted that these people even remembered a time where weddings were a tradition. Thus, no wedding ring custom was used here.

“This not work here. My domain here, his domain outside. He said follow it. You find him. He show you exit.”

Mr Black Water coldly explained the situation which made Ms Crawling Wind look at them both hesitantly. She gently grabbed Xie Lian’s hand and shook her head immediately. “You not trust dangerous resident. You leave yourself,” She warned worriedly making Xie Lian softly reassure her through petting her head again. For once Mr Black Water seemed pensive as he looked at his beloved and then at Xie Lian again. Finally, he approached Xie Lian and leaned down so they were at eye level.

“Do not give name. You safe with name. Dangerous Resident has name and ☐☐☐☐☐. You get one, you get power. If danger, try find it.”

Mr Black water explains as he stands up again, giving Xie Lian no time to actively question what that missing word was. He left the room which made Xie Lian stay silent, not wanting to stare a gift horse in the mouth. This man was clearly trying to help him get home, for that Xie Lian will be forever grateful, although he didn’t see Mr Crimson Rain as dangerous enough that he needed the information. Ms Crawling however stayed and smiled at him. “You stay safe. Goodbye,” Ms Crawling gently pets Xie Lian’s hair which he realized now had white streaks in it. Was this also an effect the world had on him along with the red markings on his arms and neck. Ms Crawling Wind then left which Xie Lian after debating for a while also did.

He left Mr Black Water’s domain and without even a second to waste he saw the red string become visible, trailing on the floor clearly linking him to Mr Crimson Rain. He looked at the route he could take without the string guiding him and then looked at the string guided path. He bit his lip and without further thought he followed the red string. He trusts Mr Crimson Rain despite everyone else’s guidance, the man in red’s concerned eyes permanently burned into his brain.

He followed it for much shorter time than he expected, clearly Mr Crimson wanted to be close enough to Xie Lian as possible without possibly upsetting Black Water. Xie Lian muses that Crimson Rain truly didn’t care for Black Water’s opinions and instead was just doing this so Black Water would treat Xie Lian.

Having said that, when Xie Lian stepped into the room his gaze was first captured by Mr Crimson rain himself. His now loose hair was wild and covered his red eye. It was a gorgeous addition to his already striking appearance and build. He still had his umbrella over him and was looking at... is that a butterfly? Before Xie Lian could say anything he suddenly was engulfed in a silvery light. It was the butterflies! They were landing on Xie Lian as if they were examining him for any injuries that he may have gotten. It was overall a ticklish feeling with the fluttering wings which made Xie Lian let out a small laugh.

Mr Crimson Rain smiled at his laughter and walked up to him, softly taking off some of the butterflies and making them disappear. Ah so this was another one of his abilities. It was much cuter than the blood rain that sometimes poured in this man’s wake. Mr Crimson Rain didn’t care to take off the red string and instead just softly smoothed Xie Lian’s cheeks making the human blush a bit but kept his ground. It was a nice feeling, almost like the soft pets Xie Lian felt as he fell asleep. Xie Lian blushed a bit and felt the need to apologize but was interrupted by Mr Crimson Rain’s words.

“You feel better? Me happy. Me take you to exit now,” was the simple words Mr Crimson Rain spoke as he surprisingly picked Xie Lian up in a bridal carry. Xie Lian let out a yelp and quickly held onto the man’s red rain coat. He blushed a bit but kept silent in hopes that Crimson Rain can’t hear his heart beat. After Xie Lian got used to the movements it honestly felt good to not walk (his legs were aching, he figured Mr Crimson Rain picked up on it and that’s why he was doing this). He rested his head on Mr Crimson Rain’s chest as they walked together, him taking the lead.

“Why do this?”

Xie Lian finally asked and for once this caused Mr Crimson Rain to go red in the face. He averted his gaze as he held Xie Lian tighter to his chest, as if subconsciously expecting a fight and wanting to shield Xie Lian from falling to hard. Now Xie Lian’s interests were definitely piqued as he looks at Mr Crimson Rain.

“Your legs hurt. Me not want you hurt. Me do this,” Mr Crimson rain simply explained though Xie Lian knew that this answer wasn’t the full one. So, he pressed further instead of letting it go. Feng Xin always said Xie Lian was stubborn, this was simply proving him right.

“Why you care me hurt?”

This question seemed to shock the ghost as he looked at Xie Lian as if he just grew dog ears and a tail. Xie Lian thinks that Mr Crimson Rain would get along well with his friends back home, but on second thought the two might actively try to exorcise the poor ghost. Xie Lian muses that if it doesn’t work, Mr Crimson Rain would just laugh in their faces.

Focusing back on the surprised and slightly flustered expression, it was odd to see on a man who is ever mischievous and ever smiling. He seemed genuinely not sure how he should answer this. But as Xie Lian studied his eyes he realized it. Mr Crimson rain knew the answer. He just didn’t know if he should say it. Before Xie Lian can urge him to say more, Mr Crimson Rain sucked in a breath he knew he didn’t need. He had a small gentle smile on his face, as if he was preparing himself for execution.

“You nice human. You protect me. You care for me. You want to be with me. Me like human. Me like you,” Mr Crimson Rain explained making Xie Lian blush darkly, trying to process the words. Did he at some point accidentally learn the wrong words or was the ghost being serious? Xie Lian knew the protection sentiment came from Xie Lian protecting Mr Crimson Rain from a few dangerous smaller entities with the crowbar Xie Lian got in the way beginning of this world, but he didn’t know where the caring part came from. Yes, it’s true, Xie Lian did care for this man in a way even he can’t fully explain. Mr Crimson Rain followed him everywhere, warning him of every danger, saved him multiple times. It’s not hard to see why Xie Lian would care but by the smile that crossed his face, he was referencing something specific.

And then it all came flashing back making Xie Lian flush bright red and hide his face in his chest. When Mr Crimson Rain first carried him to Mr Black Water and the man in black refused to let the other ghost in while he treated the human, Xie Lian sleepily held onto Mr Crimson Rain, refusing to let go at all, mumbling something along the lines of him wanting Mr Crimson Rain to stay while he recovers. That’s why he had the string! It was the only thing Mr Crimson can do to reassure him that Xie Lian can find him if needed. Back in the present, Xie Lian mumbled an apology making Mr Crimson Rain laugh softly, smoothing his hair with a gentleness the ghost only showed to him.

“Me understand if you not like me. Me not want you afraid. Me help you find exit. Me leave when you safe.”

Those words caused all the embarrassment to fade from Xie Lian’s mind. What, was the ghost just going to take him to the exit and then leave him, never to be seen again. That sentiment made a nauseous feeling settle in Xie Lian’s stomach. He did want to go home, of course he did. This place was actively killing him. But... Xie Lian never wanted this! He wanted to see the friends he made here more often; he wanted to bring Mr Crimson Rain to the human world with him and continue to spend his days with him as a constant presence. He didn’t want for all of this to just be a dream and for him to move on. He sat up a bit straighter causing Mr Crimson Rain to look at him confused.

“No.”

Mr Crimson Rain looked at him shocked and then nodded acceptingly. “No.” He simply agreed in this sad but accepting tone, his once paused movements continuing as if nothing happened.

Xie Lian felt the need to tackle this man into a hug, was he genuinely thinking that Xie Lian was rejecting his confession? Xie Lian let out an exaggerated sigh as he held onto Mr Crimson Rain tighter, at this point hugging him more than being carried by him. “Your intelligence small... Me like you. Me want you to stay.” Xie Lian made his intention clear as he pouted and mumbled his way through his confession. This made Mr Crimson Rain pause altogether as he looked at Xie Lian shocked.

“You like me?”

“Me like you.”

“You want me stay?”

“Please stay”

Mr Crimson Rain seemed to be processing this when finally, he brightly smiled and hugged Xie Lian close, now carrying him more like you would a koala. Xie Lian hugged back and wrapped his legs around Mr Crimson Rain’s waist. The ghost in turn held Xie Lian up and was softly kissing his cheeks and forehead. It was quite a cute sight, especially mixed in with the constant murmurs of “me like you, you like me” coming from this ghost. Xie Lian bit his lip a bit as he thought of his next words.

“Me want to know your name.”

Mr Crimson Rain paused and Xie Lian first regretted asking it. In this world he has realized names are the greatest form of not only control, but love that a person can have. In a way, it binds the two souls more than what Crimson Rain has been doing. If not this then maybe Xie Lian can figure out what the other word means that Mr Black Water was trying to say. Xie Lian expected a rejection, however what he was not expecting was the response muttered by the ghost.

“I don’t know....”

Xie Lian’s mind couldn’t process it. How could this man who gains power from names, not know his own. Yet there was a feeling deep in his chest, he knew Mr Crimson Rain was telling the truth. Is this how the ghost in red felt? Is this how he knew that the nickname ‘Gege’ was not his actual name? Because he could feel it? Xie Lian sighed softly and gently rested his forehead on Mr Crimson’s own.

“It okay. Me just wanted to...”

Xie Lian didn’t know what he was thinking. It was really too soon to bind their souls together, but he was scared he would never see this man ever again. Maybe once he gets to the real world, he would no longer be able to see Mr Crimson Rain ever again. It was just a safety measure yet if he can’t figure out what Mr Black Water was talking about, he wouldn’t be able to live if he can’t see this man again.

Xie Lian was surprised when he was softly placed on the ground so that he was standing on his own again. Mr Crimson Rain stepped back and closed his umbrella. Xie Lian expected him to leave or maybe ask for his name once more. Instead, he gave him the umbrella to hold. Xie Lian took it without a second thought as he carefully held it close to himself, not opening it. He was treating it like a precious item, because to him it was. It was a gift that Mr Crimson Rain was giving to him so of course it was precious! Mr Crimson Rain looked pleased at the gentle handling of the umbrella and finally his eyes drifted back to Xie Lian’s own. It was as if he knew he made the right decision.

“My ☐☐☐☐☐. If you break, me under your control, I will be yours to shape as you want. If you keep safe, you can give me name and as long as you have my ☐☐☐☐☐, I follow you.”

Xie Lian looked at the umbrella, that same unknown word keep coming up. If he destroys it, he destroys all that Mr Crimson Rain is, making him easy to like he said, ‘shape into what Xie Lian wants him to be’. However, if he keeps it and treasures it, Mr Crimson Rain is tied to him then, no matter where he goes, the man in red will follow. Of course, Xie Lian chooses the second option without a second thought, dreading to even think of a world where he chooses the first option. Xie Lian thought of what that word could mean when it suddenly snaps in his head. The only thing that makes sense is...

“Your ashes?”

“I give my ashes to you. You can do what you want with it,” Mr Crimson agrees fully making a shiver go down Xie Lian’s spine. Not out of fear or disgust, but at the absolute sincerity and trust. Xie Lian held it closer to him, almost protectively which in turn made Mr Crimson Rain smile in a fond way. He softly pets Xie Lian’s head in a reassuring way. Does that mean that every time Mr Crimson has protected him with the umbrella, he has been protecting him with his ashes, with his life force? No wonder Mr Black Water said to look out for it, it’s an easy way to get control. But that isn’t what Xie Lian wanted, Xie Lian took this for what it was. A proposal, a promise of forever with the man he loved. A promise that wherever Xie Lian goes, Mr Crimson Rain will follow. In some ways Black Water also trusts someone that much, judging by the headpiece Ms Crawling Wind wears all the time that Xie Lian always thought held a weird energy to it. This must be another way of showing love in this world.

“Me want to protect it. Me want you to follow me forever.”

“Me want that too”

Xie Lian smiled at the agreed sentiment as he protectively held onto the umbrella, Mr Crimson Rain once again picking him up and carrying him to the exit. As they travelled and talked Xie Lian realized something.

“Me give you name”

Mr Crimson rain looked at him curiously and tilted his head, simply waiting for a response. So, this is what Mr Black Water and the stories meant. To give someone a name in this universe, you first need the ashes and remains of that person. Xie Lian smiled and leaned his head on Mr Crimson Rain’s shoulder, looking down at the umbrella he was holding onto.

“Hua Cheng. Your name Hua Cheng.”

It was a pretty and powerful name, befitting of the red ghost in front of him. Xie Lian felt as if a rush of cold current was going through his veins. Was this Hua Cheng’s powers that he now got control over thanks to the ashes and the name. Hua Cheng hummed a bit, petting Xie Lian’s head to show he accepted it and their subsequent bond. Xie Lian was about to say his own name but was shushed by the man in red. Would he be trapped here if he said his name to Hua Cheng now, so he instead waited for Xie Lian to stay silent till they get home. Hua Cheng pointed to the elevator which Xie Lian didn’t even realize he was in front of. The green light above the elevator showed it was working.

Hua Cheng gently placed Xie Lian down on the ground, pressing the button for the elevator to open. Once the doors were open Xie Lian walked inside, followed by the man in red who stood next to him. The ride up was silent and finally when they got back up and into what was clearly the upper world, in other words the real world, it was as if an immediate weight was lifted from Xie Lian’s shoulders. He still had the red stains on his body and from his dizziness and still streaky white hair, it was clear he wasn’t going to heal immediately.

Hua Cheng helped him to the bedroom he made his room in and although it was fully daylight, Xie Lian felt sleepy. He was gently placed on the bed with Hua Cheng sitting next to him, softly smoothing his hair.

“Rest now, me wait for you to wake up.”

Xie Lian smiled at his ghost and gently held his hand, realizing they were still connected by that string from before but now in the real world it just appeared as if they both hand strings on their fingers. Xie Lian wished he could fight the darkness, but he knew better than to do so. Thus, before his consciousness drifted away from him he whispered softly...

“Xie Lian, my name Xie Lian.”

~~~

“Xie Lian! Xie Lian!”

Xie Lian woke up to footsteps and shouts of his name. It was dark and as Xie Lian looked at his arms, most of the markings has healed to just a soft pink colour in contrast with the bright red it once was. If Xie Lian was smart, he can simply blame it on a sun burn. And most of his hair has gone back to normal as well. He sat up when suddenly the footsteps got closer and quickly at that.

He covered his eyes at the flashlight shone in his face. The voices that shouted his name suddenly registered in his head. It was Feng Xing and Mu Qing! He was immediately bombarded with questions of where he was and he has been missing for a few weeks where no one could find him. He was urged by the two to immediately pack his bags and that they recently bought him a very small and cheap apartment which they assured him, he can pay back once he has the money for it. Xie Lian dazedly did as told, feeling like he was missing something...

Hua Cheng!

Xie Lian immediately looked around and was sad to see no sight of the red rain coat or the red...

He was about to continue panicking when his eyes landed on the red umbrella next to him on the bed. He calmed down and finished packing, putting his bag on his back and allowing Feng Xin and Mu Qing to carry the rest. Xie Lian smiled as he took the umbrella and held it close to his chest, nuzzling his cheek against it at times.

“What are you doing? Where did you even get that? Didn’t you have a clear umbrella before?”

Xie Lian shook his head with a smile as he caught up with his friends who lead him to his new apartment. He couldn’t explain it, but as he opened the umbrella to shield him from the pouring rain outside, he couldn’t help but feel Hua Cheng’s presence wrapped tightly around him, like he was protecting him even now.

“Someone gave it to me... someone very important to me...”

Crimson Rain Ending