Chapter Text
The morning light that filtered through the curtains was Jisung's first hint that he was not in the bed he belonged in. His own room was tastefully adorned with the most room-darkening curtains that he could find all those years ago, and the sunlight cascading over Jisung’s face felt like someone was stabbing his eyes with tiny knives.
His temples throbbed as he slowly peeled his eyes open, and he immediately closed them tight, wincing as a painful headache made itself known. The taste of regret filled his palate when he separated his tongue from the roof of his mouth, and he groaned, desperate for something to drink.
His stomach churned when he attempted to sit up, threatening to rebel at any moment even though his throat burned with the proof of him getting sick the night before.
Each movement sent sharp blasts of pain through his head, but the turning of his stomach forced Jisung to sit up. He opened his eyes, wincing in the early morning sunlight as he took in his surroundings.
The bookshelves full of cookbooks and textbooks on the culinary arts were more than enough for Jisung to realize that he had slept in Minho’s room.
Fear coursed through his sickly body, and he stumbled from the bed, nearly knocking over Minho’s bedside table with the sheer force of his movements.
Hazy memories of the night before flicked behind Jisung’s eyes like his own personal horror movie; He didn’t remember much after talking with Chan, but Jisung knew one thing for sure.
Minho rejected him.
At a party that they were hosting - In front of their friends.
How the fuck did he end up in Minho’s bed after being rejected? Did he have no shame? Was he that pathetic and desperate for the older man that he slept in his bed even after he had his heart broken?
Jisung groaned as he pushed into the bathroom, needing desperately to relieve himself, and brush his teeth. He did so quickly, swaying back and forth as his hangover raged through him.
Leaving the bathroom, Jisung peeked into the living room and sighed in relief when he didn’t see Minho. The older man must have left to go grocery shopping; That was his typical Sunday routine, but normally Jisung went with him.
Hurt panged in his chest when he recalled the rejection all over again, and Jisung trudged to his own room, sliding into the covers and curling up into a little ball. He wrapped himself up pathetically, and allowed himself to cry, small whimpers escaping as he sniffled.
Jisung had never wanted someone so badly; Had never worked so hard to flirt and express his interest like this.
He had dated a few people in high school, along with a few flings and relationships in college, but people of all genders and sexual orientations normally approached him.
It drove Jisung crazy that Minho had seemed to be interested in him before overhearing his conversation with Felix that day, and it drove him crazier to think that Minho would let that one slip of the tongue turn him off. He should have been more understanding - He shouldn’t be upset at all.
Jisung didn’t say anything bad, he was more than allowed to miss his friend, and he was valid to not like change, but Minho firmly rejected him because of it.
Even if he flirted, or allowed Jisung to flirt, he rejected him that next morning. Jisung should have known better, should’ve forced him to talk about it while it was still fresh, or he should’ve just given up at that moment.
He liked Jeongin when they met, maybe they would be dating by now, enjoying their lives as a happy couple while Jisung developed a friendly relationship with his new roommate.
Sighing, Jisung shoved his face into his pillow and screamed, breaking his train of thought.
Everything happens for a reason.
He just hoped he’d figure out what that reason was sooner rather than later.
☼
When Jisung woke up for a second time, his head hurt just a little less, but fuck was he dehydrated. He hadn’t had any water yet, and he’d cried enough to fill a small swimming pool with his tears.
Eyes bleary, Jisung reached for his phone to check the time. It was only eleven-thirty; Not bad for the emotional and physical hangover he was experiencing.
A wall of notifications made Jisung open up his device with a sigh, going to scroll through each one when he was attacked by one of the lewds he took pre-heartbreak. Jisung forgot that he had just locked his phone, not clearing out of his opened apps before joining the party. He missed being that naive; He was just happy and feeling slutty before the party.
Jisung felt a little ridiculous about his outfit after the fact, blushing when he recognized his own desperation written all over his face. He had planned to ‘accidentally’ send the pictures to Minho, but now he just felt embarrassed.
Maybe he shouldn’t have worn that - Maybe Minho wasn’t into it. Did he look too feminine?
Minho knew that Jisung was queer, but he had never told Jisung what his sexuality was. Yes, Jisung knew that Minho had a boyfriend in the past, but maybe he liked masculine men? And Jisung had looked the complete opposite of that.
As he was tormenting himself, a text from Hyunjin pinged in.
Hyunjin 11:30 AM
r u alive?
let’s get lunch
wanna game plan?
#getminhoback2k24
Jisung giggled, reading each message as it came.
Jisung 11:30 AM
youre buying.
An incoming call startled him, but Jisung answered it quickly, wanting the loud ringing to stop immediately.
“Hello?” He winced when he noticed how rough his voice was.
“Wow, you sound like shit.” Hyunjin’s voice was way too cheerful for how drunk he had been.
“Yeah, thanks for that. How the hell are you not hungover?” Jisung asked, rolling his eyes with envy.
Hyunjin scoffed, “I would have been a whole lot worse, but Binnie hyung made me chug a bottle of water and take pain medicine before bed. I feel like a spring daisy.”
“You sound like a spring daisy,” he complained.
“Anyway,” Hyunjin sing-songed. “Lunch?”
“Where do you wanna go?” Jisung sat up, rubbing a hand through his messy hair. “And what time? I think I need a shower.”
“I want something greasy for my hangover, but I also want hangover soup for my hangover, but also cold noodle soup… For my hangover.” Hyunjin whined, his stomach clearly growling over the speaker.
“Let’s go somewhere that has all three options. Come get me in thirty.”
“Okay!”
Jisung hung up and got out of bed, trudging to the bathroom once more. He was happy to be getting out of the house for the day, but a part of him was crushed by the idea of not spending Sunday with Minho. They had started a new show together that aired on Sunday evenings, but Jisung wouldn’t be around to watch it.
Things between them would never be the same, and Jisung knew that, but his heart squeezed painfully with the realization as he washed himself clean of alcohol and regret.
When he finished up, Jisung went straight back to his room to get dressed, toweling his hair dry on the way.
It was a warm day, not too hot, but Jisung knew that Hyunjin would most likely want to sit outside to eat, so he picked out a pair of denim cutoffs, a form fitting tank-top, and a long sleeve, linen button-up. The jean shorts were definitely short, Jisung could see the bottom of his ass cheeks hanging out of them, but he didn’t care. The shirt was flowy and covered up his bottom for the most part, so he decided to embrace it. He put on his usual silver jewelry, and slipped a pair of platform Doc Marten sandals on before gently styling his hair.
Lunch with Hyunjin wasn’t going to be fancy by any means, but Jisung wanted to look cute and put together.
Maybe it would trick his hangover.
Hyunjin knocked at the front door, and at the last minute, Jisung grabbed a ballcap, pulling it on before slipping his phone, wallet, and house keys into a small crossbody bag.
“Jinnie!” Jisung grinned when he opened the door to meet his friend.
“Hi baby!” Hyunjin wrapped him in a friendly hug, hands automatically going to squeeze at his ass. “You feeling okay?”
Jisung knew that he wasn’t asking about his hangover. He swallowed thickly, nodding his head slowly, but the tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes said otherwise.
“I’m sorry, Sung.” Hyunjin patted his back gently. “You deserve someone who wants you as badly as you want them. Dust yourself off and get back out there.”
Jisung wasn’t used to having these kinds of conversations with anyone other than Felix, so he just stood there awkwardly while Hyunjin tried to make him feel better.
“Come on, let’s go eat.” Hyunjin smiled sadly at Jisung, moving to close the door behind them.
Just as they were descending the stairs, Minho arrived back at their apartment, and Jisung froze, making Hyunjin slam into his back. Luckily, they didn’t fall down the stairs, and Hyunjin said as much, wailing as he heaved, like his life flashed before his eyes.
Minho stepped out of his car and Jisung couldn’t force his eyes away; He looked like an absolute wreck. Minho’s skin was pale, eyes swollen with dark circles under them, and he was wearing a hoodie that swallowed his frame with matching sweatpants.
Their eyes met, Minho’s trailing quickly down Jisung’s body before snapping back to his face.
Jisung shuddered when Minho opened his mouth to say something, still frozen in place from unexpectedly seeing the older man.
“Jisung, come on!” Hyunjin complained, and Jisung tore his gaze away from Minho, nearly sprinting down the wooden stairs.
“Sungie—“ Minho pleaded, but was cut off by Jisung.
“I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up.” Jisung clipped his words, forcing himself to ignore Minho’s wide, regretful eyes.
“You won’t be home for dinner?” Minho asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
“Nope.” Jisung glared at Minho, throwing a peace sign over his shoulder as he clambered into Hyunjin’s car.
He buckled his seatbelt and tapped nervously on his bare knees, fighting the urge to look back at Minho.
An incoming text tore his attention away and he checked his phone, groaning dramatically when he saw that it was Minho who texted.
Minho 12:00 PM
Jisung…you can’t ignore me forever
“Pft, watch me.” Jisung deleted the message without even opening the thread, effectively leaving Minho on ‘Delivered.’
“What happened?” Hyunjin asked while fiddling with the bluetooth settings on his car, trying to get his phone connected.
“Hyung texted. Said I can’t ignore him forever.” Jisung picked at his nails absentmindedly, legs vibrating quickly.
Hyunjin scoffed, “Clearly he’s never met a scorned Han Jisung.”
“Stop it, I’m not that bad!” He rolled his eyes, but his face flushed. So what if he was a professional grudge-holder? If someone hurt him badly enough to get on his shit list, then they deserved it.
But Minho didn’t deserve it, at least not forever.
Yes, he flirted back. And yes, he lead Jisung on, but Jisung couldn’t help but wonder how much of their interactions were just Minho being Minho.
He watched the older man flirt with all of their friends, but he never saw Minho get as close to them as he did with Jisung. The thought caused another beat of pain to course through him, and he looked out the window with a sniffle, willing the tears to stop.
“Sungie, what are you thinking about?” Hyunjin asked after picking a song and beginning to drive.
“I guess I’m just trying to replay all of the times hyung treated me like there was something between us.” His voice was quiet, introspective. “I’m upset with him, and I’m hurt, but I can’t tell the difference between what was real, and what I made up in my head.”
“This is not your fault.” Hyunjin gritted his teeth, jaw flexing. “He looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky, even when other people were around - Especially when other people were around.”
Hyunjin continued, “You did nothing wrong; You were open about your feelings, and he ignored it until last night. This is his fault.”
Jisung nodded, a stray tear dripping down his cheeks. He wiped it away with the sleeve of his shirt before shaking his head to stop them from coming. “It’s fine! I’m an adult, I can handle rejection.”
“Who are you trying to convince?” Hyunjin asked with a small giggle, whining loudly when Jisung punched him in the arm. “Hey! I’m driving!”
☼
Lunch was everything Jisung needed; They ate Korean fried chicken and hangover soup while chatting animatedly about Jisung’s journey to healing.
“I mean,” Hyunjin mumbled through a mouthful of food. “You could just go out and bring home a new person every weekend.”
His suggestion made Jisung roll his eyes - Absolutely not.
“Don’t glare at me like that, it’s one way to make Minho jealous.” Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed over his beer at Jisung.
“I don’t want to make him jealous, if I wanted to do that, I’d just fuck Innie at full volume while he was home.”
Hyunjin smirked before chuckling loudly, “You should! That’s brilliant, why didn’t I think of that?!”
“Hyunjin, I can’t play with Jeongin’s feelings like that, it’s cruel. He’s one of our friends!” Jisung’s stomach clenched uncomfortably at the thought.
“So? Just tell Jeongin that it’s casual so he doesn’t get any ideas.” Hyunjin said it so plainly, like it didn’t matter that he was suggesting Jisung play with someone like that.
He shook his head in defiance. “No, he already has feelings for me. It wouldn’t be right to take advantage of a situation like that, especially when Innie is so sweet.”
Jisung took a few beats to think.
He knew that he liked Minho from the very first day, but had already come to terms with the fact that his roommate was drawing boundaries between them. He didn’t need to date Minho.
He didn’t need to fuck his brains out.
He wanted to, and he really liked Minho, but being rejected halted the urge to progress with his feelings. What it didn't affect was Jisung’s willingness to find someone to be in a relationship with.
Minho opened up the need for a romantic relationship - A need that Jisung hadn’t felt in a very long time, and it hadn’t gone away.
He was twenty-four years old, and Jisung couldn’t deny that he wanted to settle down and find a partner.
After sorting through his thoughts, Jisung spoke again. “I need some time to heal, but I want to start dating.” He flushed as he said it, already feeling anxious.
Hyunjin’s grin spread comically wide, and his eyes lit up. “Oh! Okay! Well, that will be one way to get back at Minho hyung.”
Jisung smiled a bit to himself, imagining Minho being jealous of people taking him out on dates. He wondered if the older man would be - Jealous, that is.
Jisung didn’t like playing games, but if he could satisfy his need for a romantic connection, and mildly torture Minho in the process? It might just be worth it.
He would tell Jeongin from the very beginning that he was dating other people to make sure the younger man didn’t think that Jisung was going behind his back, or lying to him.
He smiled to himself, a hopeful feeling budding underneath the swirl of heartbreak.
Han Jisung was going to get over Lee Minho, and he was going to date other people.
And no, it didn’t nearly kill him to think about being with someone other than Minho, thank you very much.
☼
Two weeks had passed, and Jisung had written more songs about unrequited love than anyone could ever listen to. It was pathetic, nearly comically so, but Jisung had always felt connected to music in a way that was healing, and it really did help him to get over Minho.
Sort of.
He still liked the older man, but the hurt had lessened as the days passed.
Jisung and Minho were roommates, and Jisung made sure to draw the line between them clearly; He made his own meals, went to work, watched television on the other end of the couch, and ended his evenings early.
Minho didn’t like it, that much was clear by his furrowed eyebrows every time Jisung declined sharing meals or staying up to watch a movie, but Jisung was firm.
Friends - Roommates didn’t have homoerotic movie nights that felt like dates. Nor did they jerk off to the thought of the other, or steal their blankets to wrap themselves in the other’s scent.
Nope.
They chatted occasionally, ate on different schedules, laughed at shows, and then went to bed without staring into each other’s eyes lovingly.
The first couple of days were hard, leaving Jisung to cry himself to sleep each night, but it got easier, and Jisung decided he was ready to start dating.
He was wrapping up his work on Friday evening, knees shaking violently with anticipation - It was date night, and he was feeling a little nervous.
Wooyoung had set Jisung up with one of his buddies, saying that they would get along great, and Jisung had accepted.
His name was Seonghwa, but that was pretty much all he knew of the man. They had texted just a little bit back and forth to confirm their date, but Wooyoung made him promise that he wouldn’t look Seonghwa up online. Jisung had linked his pinky with his friend’s, swearing that he would wait to be surprised.
But…Jisung had clinically diagnosed anxiety, and the idea of meeting a stranger for a date made him suspicious that he might not live to see the sunrise the next morning.
So he pressed Wooyoung for answers.
“What does he do for work?” Jisung had asked during his lunch break.
“You’ll have to be patient and find out!” Wooyoung had responded cheekily, not catching onto Jisung’s worry. He told him as much, pestering Wooyoung incessantly until he finally cracked. “He’s some fancy…restaurateur guy, I don’t know! He loves kids and animals! He won’t murder you, Jisung!”
Oh.
Well… He sounded lovely so far, Jisung thought. Even if he had no idea what the hell a restaurateur was.
Soon enough, five o’clock rolled around and Jisung went home to get ready for his date. He shared his location with Hyunjin and Chan, instructing both of them to pick him up with no questions asked if he needed saving, to which they both agreed.
Walking into his apartment, Jisung greeted Minho plainly before going to his room to change his clothes.
Seonghwa was picking him up at six, so he didn’t have a lot of time, but he had preemptively picked out a cute outfit before work.
It was simple; Light blue skinny jeans with rips in the knees, a baggy white t-shirt that he tucked in, and a faux leather jacket, all topped off with his Doc Marten boots, and silver jewelry. He touched up his makeup, adding a little more blush, smoking out his eyeliner, and smearing lip gloss over his plump lips.
He looked cute, ready for a first date with a stranger.
Grabbing his crossbody bag, Jisung walked out of his room when his phone pinged.
Seonghwa (Date) 5:59 PM
I’m out front! Take your time.
“Are you going somewhere?” Minho’s sweet voice made Jisung snap his head up, and fuck. He almost fell to his knees.
Minho was so cute and warm and soft and sweet and—
Snap out of it, Han Jisung!
Minho was dressed in a cute little Kuromi onesie, socked feet perched on the coffee table, and two plates of dinner waiting for them. Jisung fought the urge to plead the older man to reconsider their relationship, fought the urge to reach out and touch his soft looking pajamas.
He swallowed thickly, “Y- Yeah. I have a date tonight.”
Minho’s jaw clenched subtly, so subtly that Jisung almost missed it, and he wouldn’t have caught onto it if he didn’t know Minho like the back of his hand.
“Oh.”
He tried not to let it get to him, smiled sweetly at his hyung as he spoke again. “Dinner looks really yummy though! Enjoy it for both of us, ‘kay?” Jisung’s eyes were shining with an unspoken plea, but if Minho understood, he didn’t say anything.
Instead, he just nodded and asked, “I expect you’ll be out all night then?”
“All night?” Jisung questioned, unsure if Minho meant all-night-winky-face, or before midnight.
“I mean, you’re going home with them after, right?” Minho met Jisung’s gaze this time and held it, nostrils flaring ever so slightly as he clenched his teeth.
Jisung scoffed. “What’s it matter to you? I have my house keys, and I don’t have a curfew, daddy.”
“It doesn’t matter to me. I just wanted to know whether to expect you back tonight or not, sorry for asking.”
Was Minho pouting?
“Hyung, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner about the date. And I’m sorry that you made dinner for me.” Jisung inhaled deeply before continuing. “But you hurt me.” Jisung blinked quickly, forcing his tears to recede back into his eyes.
“Have fun tonight, Jisung-ssi.” Minho’s tone was clipped, jaw set with annoyance.
Jisung rolled his eyes and opened the front door, shooting one last glance at Minho before shutting it behind himself. Minho wasn’t watching him, he was too focused on queuing up a show, and beginning to eat.
Latching the door, Jisung breathed in the muggy summer air, and forced himself to be excited about his date.
Dread curled deep in his stomach when he approached Seonghwa’s car, and the man didn’t even get out to greet Jisung.
He opened his own door and slid inside, “Hi! I’m Jisung!”
☼
Seonghwa was…nice?
He was nice, really nice, but the date hadn’t been going the way Jisung expected.
At least Seonghwa was drop dead gorgeous, and Jisung could admire his beauty throughout their date. But if he was telling the truth, the older man was a bit stuffy - He had scolded Jisung for not bowing at the hostess of the restaurant, and they didn’t even know each other like that yet.
The older man took him to some fancy restaurant where they don’t even let you order for yourself, and the portions were so small that Jisung wasn’t sure his appetite would be satisfied, but he was trying to stay positive.
Seonghwa dressed up to the nines for their date, all sleek and androgynous, dressed from head to toe in black. His hair was meticulously slicked back, makeup enhancing his sharp features. Jisung felt very out of place in his denim jeans and jacket, and he could admit it: Seonghwa was so out of his league it wasn’t even funny.
“So,” Jisung wiped the corners of his mouth gently. “What do you like to do for fun?”
“I like to clean,” Seonghwa replied after swallowing his bite of food. “And I like to make little figurines.”
Jisung mulled over his words, trying not to show his disinterest in both of those things. “Oh! C- Cool… What do you like so much about…cleaning and making figurines?”
“I don’t enjoy chaos.” He said it so simply that Jisung nearly rolled his eyes. “I like for everything to be perfect and controlled, so I only enjoy hobbies that I can control.”
“Oh… Well, that's neat then! I’m glad you could find an outlet that helps you feel like you’re in control.” Jisung swallowed thickly, knowing that his entire persona was chaotic - For fuck’s sake, he peed in the kitchen sink every morning for nearly two months straight.
“What about you? What are your hobbies?” Seonghwa’s tongue darted out as he took a sip of the fancy champagne that he ordered for the table.
“I write music,” Jisung sighed when he thought about his recent projects. “Not that I really do much with the songs I write, but it’s something that I really enjoy.”
Seonghwa smiled a little, the first change in his expression all night, and he actually surprised Jisung when he said that he would love to hear Jisung’s music sometime.
“Yeah? I don’t know, your tastes seem to be…” Jisung hesitated, wrinkling his nose slightly before finishing his sentence. “More sophisticated?”
“What makes your music unsophisticated, Jisung-ssi?” There was a glimmer in Seonghwa’s eyes - A glimmer of attraction, curiosity.
Jisung took a shaky breath, “Um I write rap music? And also about my shitty, nonexistent love life.”
Seonghwa smirked ever so slightly, “You don’t think that someone of my poise would listen to rap music? I’ll have you know, I’m quite a well-rounded man.”
Jisung relaxed, letting his shoulders drop as their conversation started to be one of value. They chatted about their interests, favorite movies, art, politics, religion, the whole nine yards, and throughout their meal, Jisung had actually come around.
Seonghwa wasn’t Minho, and that was perfectly okay. He didn’t have to light a fire in Jisung’s stomach from the first glance, or have the world’s thickest thighs, and he didn’t have to know that Jisung was helpless with cooking anything but ramen. Seonghwa was tall and lithe, with expensive taste, and strict rules for himself - He could learn everything about Jisung with time, and Jisung could give him the same courtesy as well.
They wrapped up their meal, telling the wait staff that everything was delicious, which it was, and then they were back in Seonghwa’s car.
“Do you maybe want to,” Seonghwa cleared his throat. “Do you want to come back to my place?”
Ah. There it was.
That pesky question that always came up at the end of a date.
Normally, Jisung wouldn’t turn the offer down after being treated to such a great, expensive meal. But he wasn’t ready yet, so he politely declined.
“Maybe after we get to know each other some more?” Jisung suggested, anxiously picking at his fingers, and avoiding eye contact.
Seonghwa gave him a little smile that didn’t meet his eyes, and drove Jisung home. To his surprise, Seonghwa actually got out with Jisung and walked him up to the front door. Jisung allowed the other man to hold his hand, appreciating how long Seonghwa’s fingers were as they trekked up the stairs. When they got to the top, Seonghwa turned to face Jisung, pushing him gently against the front door of the apartment that he shared with Minho.
Jisung didn’t even have time to feel the pain of thinking about his roommate when Seonghwa’s lips brushed over his own.
He was surprised, but Jisung responded anyway, savoring the way it felt to be kissed after so long. Seonghwa’s mouth was wet and warm, plush lips moving a bit too frantically, but Jisung went with it, opening his mouth to grant Seonghwa acces when…
The door opened.
“What the fuck?!” Jisung yelped while falling backwards, and he braced himself for impact when two strong arms wrapped around his small waist.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were going to be home tonight.” A familiar voice rang in Jisung’s ears and he flushed. “I thought you were the delivery guy with my ice cream.”
Upon realizing that Minho was holding onto his waist, small fingers pressing into his rib cage, Jisung forgot all about his date…Until he heard Seonghwa’s voice saying something.
“Minho?! Man, it’s been a long time!”
“Seonghwa?” The smile was evident in Minho’s voice. “How have you been!”
Jisung hadn’t realized that he’d been righted by Minho, or that he was standing in between the two of them, blinking back and forth like he was stuck in a tennis match.
“Good! Really good, actually! Man, what are the odds?” His date was so much more animated now than he had been the whole night, and Jisung scoffed, stamping his foot against the hardwood floors.
“You two know each other, I presume?” Jisung grumbled while staring at Seonghwa with an expectant gaze.
“Yeah! We went to culinary school together! Minho-ssi is the reason I became a restaurateur instead of a chef. I couldn’t keep up, I almost failed.” He laughed at the memory, unaware of how the revelation made Jisung’s stomach tie up in knots.
“Would you like to come in and catch up?” Minho asked the other man, and Jisung snapped his attention to him, shaking his head subtly, but Minho didn’t seem to notice.
Thankfully for Jisung, Seonghwa politely declined. “No, thank you. Jisung-ssi has already expressed that he would like to end the night separately. But we can exchange information and catch up some other time.”
Minho flicked his gaze to Jisung so briefly that he almost missed it, but then his attention was back on his old…friend. They shared information, and Seonghwa pulled Jisung in for one last kiss before he trotted down the stairs to his car.
The kiss was chaste, too casual for their first date, and far too comfortable. It made him squirm anxiously, to have Minho actually bear witness to the end of his date with Seonghwa.
When he looked over at Minho, the older man was watching him with an unreadable expression; A mix of amusement, and annoyance dancing in his eyes.
Jisung shoved passed Minho once they were out of Seonghwa’s sight, letting himself into the apartment with an exasperated sigh.
Whirling around, he was taken aback by Minho’s sudden proximity.
“W- What are you doing?” His voice was as pathetic as he felt, and fuck, he felt like crying.
Minho was so close that Jisung could feel his breath on his face, but the older man’s gaze was trained on Jisung’s lips.
Minho captured Jisung’s chin and wiped his lower lip with his thumb, mumbling something about saliva. Jisung whimpered, unable to breathe when Minho dragged his thumb over the expanse of his mouth.
“There,” he whispered. “That’s better.”
Jisung flinched, coming back to himself in an instant. He pushed Minho away as anger stirred in his chest.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jisung seethed. “You knew I wasn't your ice cream delivery, you knew I was on a date. Why would you do that? Huh?” They were chest to chest, but this time, it wasn’t charged with unresolved feelings or sexual tension. Jisung was enraged; Who did Minho think he was?
“I did, actually, think that my ice cream had arrived. I was just as surprised as you were.” Minho slanted his eyes and cocked his head to the side in that way that Jisung loathed. “And besides. Seonghwa? Seriously?”
“What’s wrong with Seonghwa?!” Jisung all but yelled, fingers tangling into his hair to pull at the stands.
Minho scoffed. “He’s not your type.”
Jisung met his eyes, frustrated beyond belief to find that Minho almost looked bored.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Sungie, please. He’s a rich boy who’s never had to struggle for anything in his life.” Minho rolled his eyes and pushed off the door frame. “He’s meticulous, self-righteous, and he needs everything to be perfect.”
“That’s rude, Minho!” Jisung gasped. He couldn’t believe that Minho would say anything negative about anyone. Unless. “Hyung, are you…jealous?”
“What? Jealous? Why would I be jealous?” Minho’s eyes were wide, ears painted the most delicious shade of red as he shook his head with denial.
Jisung smirked. “You so are!”
“Sung. I’m not.”
“Yes you are! You can’t believe that I’m actually seeing someone—“
“He’s a bratty pillow princess! He’s not your type. And I’m not jealous.” Minho’s voice dropped an octave and he had closed the distance, making Jisung take a step back as he opened and closed his mouth.
“What?!” Jisung’s mind was spinning. Why would Minho possibly know that? How would he know that…? “Oh my god.”
The wheels turned in Jisung’s mind far too quickly; God, he felt sick, sick with envy.
“You fucked Seonghwa?” His voice was quiet and level as he shot daggers at Minho with his eyes.
The older man sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose, the vein in his forehead was protruding, and Jisung knew that Minho was getting frustrated, but he didn’t care.
“Jisung. It was a long time ago, and I wasn’t going to tell you. I didn’t want to make you feel bad, I just know that he’s not your type, and I didn’t want you to get too attached.”
“Jesus, Minho! Are you that narrow-minded to think that—“
A knock interrupted Jisung’s train of thought and he groaned loudly, petulantly, as Minho opened the door to collect his fucking ice cream.
“Told ya.” Minho smirked, eyes full of mirth, and something else. “You were saying?” He raised an eyebrow at Jisung after paying the delivery driver and shutting the door behind them.
“Why wouldn’t a ‘bratty pillow princess’ be my type?” Jisung asked, anger still lingering.
Minho only raised his eyebrow further, a small chuckle echoing through the apartment as he moved to the living room to sit down on the couch. “Because you’re also a bratty pillow princess.”
Jisung followed, standing in front of Minho with crossed arms. He spluttered, “I’ll have you know I’m a switch! And I consider myself very versatile in the bedroom!” He felt the blush rising hot across his cheeks and ears. “I can’t believe you fucked my date!”
“I can’t believe you dated my…fuck!” Minho spit out, huffing and opening his ice cream roughly. “Do you want some?!”
Jisung broke.
Finally.
He erupted into a fit of laughter, stomach hurting from how much air he was inhaling, and tears spilling down his cheeks. They both were in stitches, complaining about how badly it hurt, but they couldn’t stop.
The back of Jisung’s head hurt from the force of his laughter, and Minho sat up, pulling him down into his lap. “Calm…down…you’re…gonna pass…out!” Minho wheezed out, still crying with his own laughter.
Jisung inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself, but he erupted again when he imagined Minho offering him ice cream in the middle of a petty argument.
“Baby, calm down! Please, I can’t…I can’t laugh anymore!” Minho seemed to register his words too late, only after he felt Jisung’s body become rigid on top of his. “Sungie, I—“
“I’m gonna go to bed now, hyung.” Jisung scrambled off of his lap, sobered by the sudden pet name from Minho.
Minho, the man he fell for way too quickly.
Minho, the man who rejected him just a few weeks ago.
Minho, who held him, and called him ‘baby.’
Fuck.
☼
Jisung was laying in bed, wearing his My Melody onesie when he heard a knock on the door.
“Yeah?” He croaked, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his pajamas when Minho opened the door.
“Jisungie, can we please talk about all of this?” His voice sounded so small, defeated even.
Jisung sat up in bed, sniffling and ignoring the way pain erupted in his sinuses. “There’s nothing to talk about, hyung.”
“But… You’re crying. I don’t want you to cry.” Minho mumbled and came further into Jisung’s room, sitting down on the edge of his bed.
He was still wearing his Kuromi onesie - They matched. Jisung couldn’t help but remember the day they went out and bought them, claiming to be two peas in a pod; Soulmates.
“Minho, you hurt me!” Jisung whispered, sniveling once again. “I didn’t deserve to be hurt like that, and I definitely didn’t need to know that you fucked Seonghwa.” Was he bitter about Seonghwa? Yes, he was. So bitter in fact, that Jisung had texted the man after his shower to tell him that he wasn’t interested anymore. He had been nice enough, but when Jisung replayed the way Seonghwa looked at Minho… It was like he’d seen him naked before. And he had.
“I never meant to reject you so…publicly, Jisung, you have to believe me.” Minho pleaded, reaching for Jisung’s hands, but he pulled them away, tucking them into his My Melody sleeves. “And as for Seonghwa… You don’t get to be mad at me about that. It was years ago, I didn’t think I would ever see him again.”
“So, you never see him at work, or anything like that?” Jisung pressed. If Minho was answering questions, he’d keep asking them.
“Occasionally he’ll be at events, but no, not really.” Minho sighed heavily. “Look, I don’t give a fuck about Seonghwa. He’s pretty to look at, and he’s fun to talk to, but I don’t care about him. I’m worried about you.”
“Why won’t you let me talk to you about what happened between us?” Minho continued. “Because I feel like I lost you that night, as my friend.”
Jisung’s heart broke all over again. “Minho, we were never friends. Not in my mind. And now we are. I won’t apologize for protecting my own feelings.”
Minho looked Jisung in the eye, and he could have sworn he saw tears forming; Jisung didn’t want Minho to cry.
“I’m sorry,” he squeaked a sad little noise, then got up, and left the room without another word.
Jisung sighed heavily and watched Minho’s silhouette walk away from him; He didn’t have it in him to continue the conversation, or to beg Minho to stay. If Minho wanted to talk about it, he needed to have the strength to sit down and talk it out.
After all, Jisung was the one who was repeatedly trying to bridge the gap between friends and lovers - It was up to Minho to fix it this time.
Jisung tossed and turned for hours, searching for sleep but not finding it. Finally, he gave up and got out of bed. Sitting down at his desk, Jisung flicked the lamp on, and wrote until his fingers were swollen and sore - Until he felt like he said what he needed to say.
It was well into the morning, five o’clock if his phone was correct, which it was. Jisung stretched, popping his back and neck before collapsing onto his bed once more.
He fell into a deep sleep, but he didn’t find rest, because all he dreamed about was soft brown hair, pretty brown eyes, and a pouty upper lip that belonged to him only at night.
In his dreams, Jisung could have Minho.
In his dreams, everything was perfect.