Chapter Text
Moireigh is on the roof of the Rising Stones, not-so-carefully traversing the planks that cover the water in the gutters. In one of her hands is a bottle that F'lhaminn had given her a look before handing her. Her arm swings haphazardly, heavy with the bottle she holds, easily throwing her off balance. She stops, looking toward the busy aetherite in the middle of Revenant's Toll. The sigh that comes from her chest is shaky, and she ignores it by taking a swing from the bottle.
Ornate metal doors close, locking the red-haired Miq'ote within- Moireigh shakes her head vigorously to shake the image, and something inside her she can't name cracks further.
"Ah. Here you are," at the sound of his voice, Moireigh jolts and nearly overbalances as she spins around to look at him. Thancred. It's the first time she's seen him for more than a couple of moments in weeks.
"Thancred. Y-you were looking for me?" Moireigh stammers, belatedly hiding the bottle behind her back. Thancred nods, but even in her slightly addled state she could see the caution in his eyes.
"Yeah. I wanted to speak with you, if you were amenable," Thancred starts but holds his hands up, placating when Moireigh looks blankly at him.
"About what?" Moireigh asks, but she knows with a sinking feeling what he wants to speak about.
Flames, searing her back.
Thancred- no, Lahabrea, laughing.
Thancred, avoiding her eyes upon waking up.
The fear of Thancred's unmoving body-
"We just haven't been able to touch base since you picked up that job with Rambroes. I wanted to- are you alright?" Thancred steps closer when he sees Moireigh shaking her head.
"I don't think I can talk about that right now," Moireigh whispers, clutching the neck of the bottle in both hands behind her back.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. BreatheBreatheBreatheBreathe-
"Okay. We can talk anot-" Thancred has his daggers out at the explosive sound of the bottle shattering behind her. He swears and puts them away as Moireigh brings her shaking hands forward. She looks down at them and sees the blood pooling in her palms. She dimly registers that the backs of her legs are soaked. Suddenly Thancred's hands are holding hers.
"I thought I was the only one allowed to drown my sorrows? Here, let's sit. I'll wrap your hands," While the opportunity presents itself, Thancred gently steers her to a somewhat dry spot that still overlooks Revenant's Toll. Moireigh comes back to herself and shakes her head frantically.
"You don't have to do that, I'm fine, it's fine," Moireigh assures him. He sends her a look - actually it's much like the one F'lhaminn had censured her with before giving her the bottle. Thancred makes quick work of wrapping her hands with a cloth bandage tucked into his pants' pocket.
"Do you... do you want to talk about why you're upset?"
"I don't want to trouble you, you've-uh, I mean, that is-" Moireigh takes her hands back and curls them into her lap.
"I've been avoiding you. Yes, I can admit that now. And we can talk about that later. Please. I want to help," Moireigh meets Thancred's eyes and she can see how earnest he is. Moireigh sighs and tries to swallow past the lump in her throat. She finds she has to clear her throat multiple times before she can speak.
"The investigation Rambroes sent me on is done," Moireigh shuts her eyes.
Ornate metal doors close, locking the red-haired Miq'ote within-
"I'm assuming it didn't go as planned," Thancred prompts. Moireigh shakes her head, ears pinned to her head.
"One of the Students of Baldesion. I don't know if you’ll know him... G'raha Tia?" Moireigh ventures quietly, eyes still shut.
"Hmmmm. The name sounds familiar. But then again, a lot of my studies didn’t take place in a traditional classroom. What happened?"
"The Crystal Tower... he had to-to s-seal himself inside it. He carried the allagan line - his red eyes... I couldn't stop him," Moireigh sobs, hugging herself. Thancred reaches out to her shoulder but redirects to her knee instead, squeezing it.
“You two became close, didn’t you?” Thancred asks quietly. Moireigh nods, laughing wetly when Thancred hands her another cloth to wipe her eyes with. She stares down at the soaked cloth and clenches it between her fingers. Pain flashes through her hands and she inhales sharply, but the pain helps her to say the next words.
"Is being around me unlucky?" The question comes out in a rush and the silence that meets it makes her heart beat loudly in her ears. She pushes to her feet and starts pacing, hoping that'll ease the tightness in her chest.
"Moi, no!-"
"It just feels like everything has just f-fallen apart? G'raha only discovered through exploration with me about his true heritage, and what he had to do with the Crystal Tower," Moireigh explains, arms crossed and hands clenching at her biceps in agitation.
"Moireigh, it wasn't your-" At the start of his words, she spins around in her pacing to stare at Thancred who stands just paces away from her. Tears were steadily falling down her face now - when had that started happening? She gestures wildly at him.
"I-I had to nearly kill you to - to help you and then when-when you avoided me afterwards it was what I deserved, because I had h-hurt you-"
"Deserve? Why would you think you deserved me being so reticent with you?" Thancred tries to ask, but Moireigh is beyond conversing at this point.
"-and gods I am so not ready to talk about this right now but it just feels like all this bad stuff happens around me and I don't-I don't-I-I can't breathe-" Moireigh cuts herself off and gasps for breath. She presses a hand to her chest and tries to breathe deeply and her tail lashes when she realises she can't. She distantly hears Thancred's voice nearby, closer than where he'd been standing moments ago.
"Moireigh? Hey, okay. Breathe with me," Thancred takes her hand and places it on his chest. The pulsing pain in her palm from the broken bottle feels like it starts to sync with his heartbeat the more she focuses on it. She drags a deep breath in and doesn't let it out until Thancred lets out his own. They stand this way for minutes, until Moireigh pulls her hand away as if burned. She holds it to her chest and opens her mouth to speak. To say thank you, to say anything, but nothing comes.
"Are you going to use Ruin on me if I try to hug you right now?" Thancred ventures. Moireigh shakes her head, and she leans into him as he wraps his arms solidly around her. Moireigh near growls in frustration when the words she wants to say still won't come. Thancred rests his head on top of hers. When he speaks his next words, they're quiet, but Moireigh finds she quite likes the feeling of his arms around her and his cheek resting across the top of her head. She sinks against him, tears still running down her cheeks.
"You've had a rough go of it. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you; loss is hard. By no means is any of it your fault, though. G'raha Tia made the choice he did. None of what happened there is on you. Our battle in the Praetorium... you had to defend yourself and you sacrificed your own wellbeing for mine. Don't think I don't feel these bandages on your back and shoulder. My avoiding you had nothing to do with fear of what you did. I am well aware that I could be in worse shape or even dead, so I am grateful to you," Thancred's own voice is strained by the end. Moireigh looks up at him and finds she can speak now.
"Then why avoid me?" Moireigh asks. Thancred sighs.
"I felt overwhelmingly guilty about what I put you all through. I still do. Lahabrea should never have happened. I held the belief that it was better to stay away from everyone I'd affected. I had no idea you thought I was doing so out of fear of you. Never, Moireigh," Thancred insists. Moireigh nods and uses the cloth she's still holding to wipe her eyes.
“Thanks. It means a lot,” Moireigh mumbles. Thancred gives her a smile.
“Let’s head back downstairs, yeah? Get out of the chill,” Thancred holds out his hand and Moireigh takes it. He’s gentle, mindful of her injuries as they head back downstairs to the Rising Stones.