Chapter Text
He could hear them.
Every word they spoke, every sob they couldn’t hold back, every whispered plea, even every breath as they slept next to him.
But he couldn’t do anything. His body was too exhausted to act.
He wanted to wipe the tears from his Omega’s beautiful cheeks, he wanted to tell his godson how proud he was of him, he wanted to promise his children that he would recover and be there for them.
But deep down, he knew it wouldn’t happen.
He was too broken to make it.
It was a miracle that his heart was still beating, that he could hear all of this.
He knew it was a gift before his departure, there was no other explanation.
Not everyone could listen closely to everything their loved ones said before they had to leave this world, but he did.
His beautiful Omega saying words that broke his heart.
"I want to feel protected again, loved, to have a warm body beside me at night, to wake up every morning with kisses on my face while you tell me how lucky you are to have me, I need the love of my life back… I need you… please, don’t leave me, don’t stop fighting."
It hurt to think that he would leave him alone, that one day, very soon, or maybe even that same day, he would go and his Omega would be left with that immense void.
He deeply regretted hurting his partner.
There was nothing he wanted more than to wake up from this damn coma and take him to the nearest church to make him officially his.
But it was too late to claim that, he hadn’t even proposed because he wanted to wait until his name was as big as Michael Schumacher’s to be worthy of his Omega.
What a mistake.
And now, all he could do was listen to his beautiful tapatío’s heart break more and more.
He wished he could do something to take away that pain.
Then there was his godson.
He tried to act strong, but he knew his little Monegasque.
He would become one of the best drivers on the grid.
He had no doubt he would race for Ferrari someday, he just regretted not being able to keep his word.
And the fact that every visit his Omega had reminded him of that didn’t help his already bleeding heart.
"You promised, you promised you would be there for my debut, you promised to be my mentor, my pillar, to give me a challenge in the races, you promised you wouldn’t leave me, you promised you wouldn’t abandon me… you have to be there for my first victory, my first championship, and tell me how proud you are of me, so you have to keep fighting."
It was a fact he would never be able to do, and it hurt his soul to break his promise to his little Monegasque.
To think that he would be alone on the podium, thinking that he had been left behind.
He could imagine the sad look on his face, the nostalgia and pain in his eyes.
It would take away one of his happiest moments, making it a reminder of what should have been.
He couldn’t stop feeling like he was going to overshadow every achievement in his godson’s life just by being absent from it, he didn’t deserve that, all those moments should be happy and filled with joy.
Instead, he would take them away the moment he left this world.
He wished he could be there for every victory and tell him how proud he was of him.
Just like with his children, his little princess and his baby.
He could hear how every day that passed became a torture for his girl.
His beautiful daughter trying not to sob so her baby brother wouldn’t, the baby crying because his sister did, not understanding what was happening, he was only a few months old after all.
He didn’t know his father, didn’t know his scent, his baby only had his mother and older sister.
He hadn’t been there for him, nor his Omega during the birth or the rest of the pregnancy, and it killed him, it hurt to think that he missed seeing the most beautiful thing in the world, and that his son’s birth was overshadowed by his relapse.
Yet hearing the lamentations of his daughter, the pleas were torture.
"Please, daddy, wake up, I promise I’ll be the best daughter, I won’t talk too much, I won’t cry again, I even promise I won’t bother you at work, or fill your papers with chocolate, don’t leave me… mommy doesn’t stop crying at night, my baby brother doesn’t know you, I want you to be here, I hate that you’re not here, I’m scared, and it hurts so much."
His little girl was forming a bond with him, given that she had never formed a bond with her mother since she couldn’t do so in the womb, and with his constant traveling for the races, it had never solidified completely.
His little girl was turning three today, and he had never formed that father-daughter bond.
He had been such an idiot, thinking he had all the time in the world.
Now his daughter was suffering, and his son would have an enormous absence in his life.
He wished he could help ease that pain, and that his two children could have a connection with their Alpha father.
But wishes rarely came true.
His little daughter was in the room, with her baby brother and his sweet Omega, his partner’s voice singing "Happy Birthday" to his princess when he felt it.
He couldn’t do this to his daughter, not to his princess.
He couldn’t leave this world on her birthday.
Not after he had already made her suffer so much.
He wanted to keep fighting.
He wished with all his might he could do something to make the pain go away, to help his loved ones heal from everything he had caused.
But all he could feel was darkness slowly consuming him, he stopped hearing the voices he loved the most, he could only hear his heart beating in his chest, slower and slower.
Until it was silent, and it stopped beating.
Jules Bianchi was dead, and he had left everyone he loved behind.