Chapter Text
Ava has always been close to her dad, Matteo Silva. So close that she could talk to him about anything and everything. At least so long as the topic doesn’t get too close to anything connecting to her mother. Even when her mother was around, Ava was and always will be a daddy’s girl. So, when all of a sudden as she prepares at the earliest morning for the bakery and sees this mysterious pretty girl walking by she’s eager to tell her dad.
“She literally looks like a goddess!” She’d say between bites of her very late dinner but super early breakfast. Since working at the bakery Ava’s never had a proper set meal time. Yet despite the fact that she leaves her house at around 1:40 in the morning, Matteo always ensures he’s there to have ‘breakfast’ with his daughter.
“Maybe she’s a ghost…” Matteo would tease. Mr. Silva has been the head of the Silva’s bakery since it was passed down to him, the same as it was when his father was in charge, and even so when it was his grandfather running the bakery. The only difference was that unlike his father, and the previous men in his bloodline, he was never given a first born son. That didn’t bother him at all, the moment he held Ava in his arms he knew that he would wreak havoc in both heaven and hell so long as his baby was safe.
It was a routine they had established even way before Ava started working for her dad. Throughout her childhood she would remember spending time at the bakery. Though it was less baking and more so playing between the tables, in the back playing pretend with JC and even acting older than she was just so she could hangout with Shannon and her friends. It wasn’t until she actually started developing an interest in baking that she asked her dad to teach her. Matteo Silva was a god when it came to making pastries, he was passionate about everything he did and running Silva’s was what he thrived in. Though the bakery itself used to be brighter, it used to have walls covered in artworks that were up for sale. The regulars also would linger and stay for hours as if they were dining in a restaurant. It felt more like a community, one big family that even if they open at the earliest of hours the walls would be surrounded by laughter. But it all changed when Ava’s mother, Addie, left them. Suddenly the walls were stripped down of any artwork, customers no longer lingered, and Matteo, who was the loudest and brightest one there, had completely lost the light in his eyes. He wasn’t a bad father, no, he was still there when Ava needed him but there was always a limit. A hidden line that Ava knew to never cross and that was anything that had to do with her mother. She wasn’t allowed to say out loud that she missed her mom, she also wasn’t allowed to draw anymore, her dream of becoming an artist just like her mom had been long abandoned.
As the years went on, Ava was convinced she was happy living the life her father had established for them. She never questioned her future when Matteo would boast about Ava taking over the bakery one day. For her it made sense, whatever it takes to make her dad happy. That would have been fine but something inside her had started to crumble. She felt it way before Jc left, felt it before Beatrice even showed up. That passion she once had making pastries and building a community with her regulars had somehow diminished. She felt like she was just functioning like a robot, doing things because it was expected of her. But then Beatrice appeared, like an angel, not only did she help Ava when she was in need but she awoke something inside the girl. The passion Ava thought had disappeared had reappeared, the only downside was that it wasn’t her passion to make pastries but to create. So suddenly Beatrice’s presence was enough for Ava to find her creative outlet. At first she got away with just making pastries look cuter, testing new recipes, and even changing the menu without her dad’s knowledge. But then it seeped through when she wasn’t aware. The art shop she’s been avoiding since her mother left, the store that was close to her heart because that's where most of her memories with her mother were. Suddenly Ava was inside, looking through the supplies.
“Ava?” Chanel would call out to her when she noticed the girl inside.
“Oh, uhm haha hi!” She’d say back, she looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
“I won’t say a word.” Chanel would reassure her before walking away to let Ava do her thing.
She wasn’t banned from the store or anything like that, but she might as well act as if she were. In Ava’s mind it was scandalous for her to step foot into Starry Night. The place where her mother used to work, where every bit of her mother was left behind. What had happened between her parents weren’t a secret, everyone in town had felt it in one way or another. When Ava’s mother abandoned her and her dad, she despised the woman. Less because she was left behind but more so because she was witness to how her father had been broken. Ava was just like her dad, she was the female version of him and she loved that. So when his light had disappeared, she made hers extra bright for him to feel it, to remember it. It took a while and it never completely came back but it's there. It's faint but still warm. Because of the pain her father was left with, she treaded carefully, avoiding anything that could trigger him. He doesn’t talk about her but she can see the pain behind his eyes. How his smile doesn’t reach his ears anymore. How their world, their home, had been stripped of colour.
But something inside Ava had been awoken, something she tried to avoid. It felt like a calling, like her purpose and that was to create. Her hands wanted to move but they didn't want to knead dough, they wanted to move in strokes. To feel the way paint glides along a canvas. So one night, after spending most of her time around Beatrice, she felt it. This tug to create, and that’s what she does. But she does so in secret, in the confines of her room, hidden in her closet where a box covered in dust labeled ‘Keep out - Ava’ carried her old supplies. It had been years but she couldn’t shake the feeling like she’s supposed to. So she pulls out an old sketchbook and a pencil and she draws. At first she draws a set of eyes that are familiar but she can't exactly pinpoint. Then she draws hands, specifically ones that are kneading dough. Then a smile, a strand of hair, and suddenly the pieces had combined and she had drawn Beatrice baking. And without even realizing it Ava lets out a breath she’s been holding. She thought she’d get over it after a few drawings but it did the opposite, it barely touched the surface. And before she knew it, she was drawing when she could and she had lost track of time, so much time that she couldn’t make it in time for her walk with Beatrice.
She wanted to share what she was doing with Beatrice, wanted to show her the drawings she’s been making even if it means admitting that lately all she’s really drawing is the girl herself. Ava wanted to ask Beatrice what her favourite colour was so she could incorporate it into her work. But every time she felt like she was ready to say something, to say anything, something would remind her of her mother. And then it would hit her, it would all start to feel wrong, to feel like a sin. Like she was betraying her father by doing so, so Ava kept quiet. Kept her drawings a secret, and her sketchbook hidden. But one particular night, just before heading to the bakery and spending time with Beatrice again, she had asked the universe for a sign.
“Give me something, give me a clear sign that I should pursue this.” Ava would say out into the universe.
And then she came, the owner of Starry Night. She was an older regular at Silva’s, specifically Chanel’s grandmother, Ethel, but she would rarely show up, she was retired and spent most of her time with family from across the world. Ava loved her, she loved hearing her stories but what she doesn’t love so much is whenever she’d go off on a tangent of how Silva’s used to feel more like home. How it used to have more to offer and how they have forgotten their roots.
“Your mother would have--” Ethel would start and instantly Ava wouldn’t be able to hear anything else. “--you should bring back some pastries that we haven’t seen in years. Tell that father of yours that--” Ava tried to tune into the conversation, she really did, but her brain can’t function whenever her mother is mentioned. Is this the sign? She’d think to herself.
“You brought them back?!” Ethel says excitingly which breaks Ava out of her trance. Ava looks over to where the older woman is looking and she sees Beatrice placing pastries in the display. And then she sees it, sees the Canelés and her heart drops. “Oh..” She says, and there it is, that ache she thought she ran far from. “I guess we did.” She says, forcing a smile.
The Canelés weren’t the problem, for the regulars at Silva’s they were the top selling pastry that was suddenly ripped away from the menu. They were something that at first they begged to have returned, but eventually after no changes would just say it in whispers. “They used to have the best Canelés..” Customers would say as they come and go. It wasn’t just the Canelés, it was the person behind who inspired it.
“We heard Addie’s canelés are back?!” A former regular would say excitedly, and as if on cue a herd of people would rush in to buy the store out. Ava sighs, she knows what's coming and she knows it's long overdue but she doesn't want to face it. So instead she texts Shannon, asking her to come in early because she has to leave as soon as she gets there.
Immediately Ava is thinking of what to say, what to argue and how to ensure that Beatrice doesn’t find herself at the centre of something that she doesn’t even know is a problem. So when Ava leaves early, and she notices a hint of sadness in Beatrice’s expression all she could think about was how she could erase it all, how all she ever wants to see is the smile on Beatrice’s face. The smile that she’s gotten used to drawing and trying to mimic.
Ava runs, Ava runs as fast as she can hoping that she’d get home before the news spreads. The town was small, but it was quick with spreading information or gossip. It doesn’t help that they have an online forum for the community, a forum that her father is practically checking every hour of the day. Her father was organized, meticulous, the one trait Ava didn’t really get from him. He had a routine, a schedule he follows. Every day the same pastries, the same options, it's simple and straight to the point and there's no change. It wasn't always like that, there used to be spontaneity at the Silva bakery, where Matteo would create new pastries and recipes for his customers to try. But before the customers there was Addie, Matteo’s first and only love. His greatest love, the one who tried all the recipes, who picked and chose what to put on the menu despite Matteo’s disapproval. The one person Matteo couldn’t say no to way before Ava was born. Addie, who’s favourite of all were the Canelés so much that customers no longer called it that, instead it was an inside joke only locals would know.
“Addie’s Canelés.” They’d say, because if they come too late and there was only one left there was no argument on who was getting it.
Addie’s canelés, the constant thing she’d be eating even as she paints at the front of the bakery. The constant craving when she was pregnant with Ava. And eventually, Ava’s favourite treat, that even if there were only one left behind, Addie would take it and ensure Ava had the first and last bite. But when Addie left, the town faced a storm that wouldn’t stop. A month of constant darkness and unstoppable rain. So Matteo did what he had to because he was now a single father who had a business to run. So Matteo stripped the bakery of anything that reminded him of his wife who ran. And the Canelés that the locals loved so much? He ensured that he never bakes them ever again. And Ava, the ever so observant and full of light Ava, she never once asked for it because she knew that by doing so would break her dad’s heart. So even if it was her favourite thing to eat, just like her mother, she chose to give it up.
When she finally gets home she composes herself before walking inside. But just before she could open the door her dad stepped out. His face stern and Ava knows news got back to him.
“Ava.” He’d say as he limps towards her.
Matteo Silva was a hardworking man, but when he slipped and fell and endured a fractured femur that limited his mobility, he was forced into taking a long break from the bakery. He wasn’t too upset at first, he knew that Ava would step up and he was eager to see how the girl would manage his bakery. “It will be yours eventually, so take this as a test run.” He told her when he was given the news that he’d have to be on bed rest for a few months. The only thing he wished Ava would do, was tell him more about what’s going on, but the girl would always brush aside the conversation especially when Matteo asks what she’s been making. He doesn’t run the bakery’s social media accounts but he can see the comments and who’s interacting with their content. He knows Ava’s been changing the menu, has been switching things up but he doesn’t mind. All the comments were positive and no one seems to be complaining so he allows it. Even when Ava comes talking to him about hiring a temporary worker because Jc was leaving, he took it into consideration. He was hesitant to hire a non Silva, at least Jc was like family. But then Ava brought home a pastry and when he discovered that this Beatrice girl was behind it, he knew it’d be stupid not to take the opportunity so he agreed. And he’d see online how the regulars loved this Beatrice, how they would tag and post her and compliment her pastries. And of course there was this one specific photo, one of both Ava and Beatrice standing side by side and he’d see it, how his daughter looks at the girl with so much light, so much adoration that it borderlines love. At first he didn’t mind, he knew it was going to happen eventually he just thought that maybe it’d be towards Jc. But then he catches wind of a certain pastry he’s forgotten, a pastry that he can no longer make because they just don’t turn out great anymore. And suddenly he sees red, and flashes of a future where his daughter gets hurt the same way he did.
“What are you doing out of bed?!” Ava asks concerned running up to her father to help balance him.
“What is this I'm hearing about Canelés?” He asks.
Ava freezes, “I.. Uhm..” she doesn’t know what to say.
“This Beatrice girl, why is she making recipes that aren't on the menu?!” He isn’t mad at Beatrice herself, he knows that, but he doesn’t know where to direct his anger.
“It’s my fault papa, I didn’t.. I didn’t tell her that it’s off limits.” She says under her breath.
“There shouldn’t be a reason to make anything aside from what we already established!” He says, his voice raising a bit.
Ava’s shoulder instantly slumps, “I.. I just wanted to change things a bit.”
“Change is what gets you hurt!” Matteo argues, “People always want to change things up but never consider how it will affect the people around them!” Matteo and Ava rarely disagree on things, and thats mostly because they both tend to avoid topics that would stir a fight. But when they do, like father like daughter, they were both stubborn and don’t hold back.
Something inside Ava breaks, or snaps, as if the curtain she’s had covering her true feelings have been open abruptly. “If we don’t change things up, we may be forgotten!” She argues, but her father doesn’t budge.
“Knowing who we are is what makes the business thrive!” He says, running his hands over his face.
“That's what you think but papa we’re losing customers fast. Yes we have our regulars but it's not enough to ensure we stay afloat years from now! We’re already losing old regulars and they all say the same thing, that we’ve lost our touch!” Ava wasn’t wrong, for now they’re thriving but she can see how quickly the customers crave for something new. And yet ironically how some crave for something to return. And becayse if her dad’s stubbornness neither is being solved.
Matteo ignores her, he tries to shake her grip away so he can make his way to the bakery. But Ava doesn’t budge. “Papa, they want change. They expect change..And if you’re not willing to give them that, atleast bring back the things they used to love!”
“Change is what drove your mother away.” He says and there she sees it again, the dimming of his light. “And those things they claim to love, it's all connected to her!”
“That’s not.. No, that's different.” Ava says. “This has nothing to do with her!”
“But it does Ava!” Matteo groans, “How much of that Beatrice girl do you know?”
“What.. Why?”
“Because what if she leaves, then what mija?” Matteo asks and Ava tries hard to see what he’s implying but her mind is spinning, she's wondering where all of this is coming from.
“Beatrice is a friend!” She argues, “And.. and if she leaves that’s entirely up to her!”
And there Matteo sees, or notices, he sees how his daughter hasn’t realized it yet and it's not up to him to tell her what she’s missing. But he takes note, sees her eyes that he loves to look into but is pained because she has her mother’s eyes. But he sees it, sees how his daughter looks at this girl, how her eyes light up at the mere mention of her. And how she’s eager to spend each day with her. But it's not his job to define what she’s experiencing, that's something Ava has to figure out on her own.
“Mom left because she was unhappy!” Ava argues. “And I may be unhappy but I’m not going to leave you the way she left us!” Her words come out like an avalanche.
And there Matteo finally listens, “You’re unhappy?” He asks.
Ava looks at his pained expression, “No, I didn’t mean it that way.. I just.. I..”
Matteo finally shrugs Ava’s grip off of him, he sighs and finds himself walking back into the house. Ava knows not to follow, she beats herself up for saying the wrong thing but she knows her dad needs time to cool down. So she sits on her porch, making sure that she’s somewhere her dad can see so he knows she hasn’t left. It was rare for the two to have disagreements, but what they’re both thankful for when they do is that mutual understanding that they’ll fix it when they’ve both cooled down. So Ava waits, she knows that a few hours from now her father would tap the spot beside him on the couch and she’ll hug him tightly and thats when they’ll talk. She’ll unleash what she’s feeling free from judgement and Matteo will listen. So for now she discreetly pulls out her sketchbook and she does what’s been giving her comfort lately. So Ava draws, she draws and draws, and it's of different angles of the same thing, the same girl.
“Beatrice is a friend.” She finds herself muttering under her breath. But then something clicks, it's quiet and subtle, but it's there. All Ava could do is shake the thought away and continue drawing. “One thing at a time..” she says as she sighs. But she doesn’t mind it, she doesn’t see it as a bad thing, this thought that just appeared.
-
When Beatrice makes her way to the bakery, she receives another text from Ava saying she can’t make it for their walk, she finds herself sulking. So much so that she’s almost late. As Beatrice finds herself rushing inside, an apology at the brink of her lips she stops when she sees Shannon standing there.
“Why are you in a rush?” The girl asks her.
“I was running a bit behind, my apologies.” Was all Beatrice could say before diving into baking for the day.
“You’re fine. Also I’ve prepared an extra batch of Canelés so we’re going to need to make triple of what you made last time.” Shannon says, and Beatrice just nods, wondering where her beacon of light had gone.
Working with Shannon is fun, she’s learning a lot from the girl and the conversation between the two seems to flow nicely. Without even realizing it they seem to have alot in common. Behind Shannon’s intimidating exterior she’s actually really sweet and funny. Beatrice also enjoys that she gets to witness up close the dynamic between Mary and Shannon. At first glance the two seem to hate each other since they argue so much, but behind it there’s something else there. Despite the fact that eventually, almost all of the time Mary ends up siding with whatever Shannon says. Though it seems like Shannon is waiting for something, or rather waiting for Mary to make the first move.
She wants to ask Shannon where Ava is, but she doesn't want to make it seem like she doesn't like working with her. So Beatrice keeps her mouth shut and just does what she typically would do if Ava were around. Then the next day it’s just her and Shannon again and this time Beatrice does almost ask but then she chooses not to. By the third day Beatrice can’t take it anymore, she had at least expected Ava to text her telling her she’s okay but nothing. So Beatrice continues to sulk, so much that the pastries she’s in charge of making end up burning. And as she frantically tries to waft the smoke away, with Shannon by her side who’s also helping her waft the air. She sees it, can sense it, how lost she feels when Ava isn’t around. Suddenly she’s noticing just how dark it is when Ava’s absent.
“She’ll be back.” Shannon says as she continues to waft the air, she isn’t looking at Beatrice but it's as if she can sense what's on Beatrice’s mind. “Ava gets like this sometimes, she can’t always be the one we can rely on, it doesn't look like it because she does it so effortlessly. But running this place, she's burning out. She doesn't outwardly admit it, but I can tell. But she’ll be back” Shannon says, shrugging, offering Beatrice a reassuring smile. And for her that was enough.
As the day goes on, a man comes limping inside the bakery. He stands tall and Beatrice can’t make out the expression on his face as he stares directly at her.
“Hello sir, how are you?” She asks, giving him her best smile.
The man limps closer to the counter, resting his weight on his cane. “I’m alright, could be better but one Canelé please.” he says softly and Beatrice nods. She grabs the canelé and offers it to him, before even paying he takes a bite and suddenly he closes his eyes as he’s brought back to a moment.
“How?” He asks, his eyes still closed.
“Pardon?” Beatrice asks.
“I’ve been making these for years, but then one day I suddenly couldn’t get it right. I followed the same recipe and yet it has never tasted the same since.” He says, he finally opens his eyes and looks right at Beatrice. “How were you able to make it taste… perfect?”
Beatrice thinks for a moment, she’s not doing anything different as far as she knows she’s measuring things correctly. “I just follow the recipe.” She says.
“But sometimes that isn’t enough.” The man says, “You must be doing something differently.”
Beatrice thinks again, and then it hits her. “I guess, when I make it or things in general I think of the people who’ll eat it.” Beatrice says, smiling at herself as she reminisces. “I think of how much they enjoy the things I bake, and it may sound cliche but I guess the secret ingredient is love?”
The man smiles at her, “You might be on to something. Anyone in particular you think of when you bake things?”
Beatrice smiles, “My family, they love everything I make.” Then Ava appears in her mind, how the girl loves everything she makes. “And lately, Ava. Do you know her?”
“I do.” He says his smile wider, “Does she tell you that you’re the best baker?”
Beatrice laughs, “I don’t believe it when she does, but yes.”
The man then starts to shake his head, “Traitor.” He says under his breath, just then Shannon comes out from the back and she’s shocked to see the man.
“Ava’s going to kill you.” She says.
“Not if she doesn’t know!” He argues.
But suddenly the beacon of light appears out of thin air and she comes barging into the bakery. “I leave you alone for two seconds and you disappear!” The girl says pointing a finger at the man and scolding him. “For someone who’s injured you sure as hell walk fast.”
It doesn’t take much for Beatrice to connect the dots, the resemblance was there and immediately Beatrice knew who the man was. As Ava continues to scold the man she sees what’s in his hand and looks surprised, she looks over to Beatrice and smiles. “Hi Bea, missed me?” She asked. And Beatrice because she’s trying to process that she just admitted to Ava’s dad that she thinks of his daughter when she bakes, she just nods subconsciously.
“I missed you too!” Ava says, and that takes Beatrice out of her trance and suddenly she’s forgotten all about the darkness that she’s endured the past couple of days.
“Matteo Silva.” The man says, extending his hand. Beatrice takes it and shakes his hand firmly, “Beatrice Mäkinen-Guo.”
“Okay that's enough standing buddy.” Ava says, as she drags her dad out the bakery. “Bea! If you’re free later, let’s hangout?” Ava asks, looking hopeful. Beatrice nods, she nods without thinking, forgetting that she has a scheduled call with her sister later, but that’s tomorrow’s problem she tells herself. She’s nodding so much that Shannon laughs. And suddenly Beatrice can’t wait for the end of her shift, because finally it means Ava’s going to be around.