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Dan shifted over onto his side, still mostly asleep. He was aware of being cold and so yanked at the bed cover, curling up further under it.
A sharp yank back the other way jolted Dan and he was immediately awake, not quite fully yet, certainly more aware of his surroundings, of himself.
The first thing he knew for sure was he was not, as he’d originally thought, in his own room.
There was a different feel, a different smell to this room, but one he knew just as well as his own. He was in Phil’s room.
Which meant he was in Phil’s bed and…
Dan sat up suddenly and looked to the side of him, clamping a hand over his mouth as he tried to stifle a yelp. Sure enough, there was the lump under the covers beside him and the tuft of ruffled black hair that indicated that Phil was, indeed, in the bed too.
Okay. Okay. Dan told himself. This is fine. Everything is fine. Clearly we just… Fell asleep last night talking. No big deal, we’ve done it before- WAIT!
The final piece of this very, very confusing puzzle slipped into place as Dan realised one very important thing.
He was naked.
Completely.
Not like, ‘oh I only wear underwear to bed’ naked.
Totally, inescapably, pure, arse naked.
And now Dan was trying his very best not to have a panic attack. While his mind raced, he tried desperately to remember what had happened last night. But…
He could remember their neighbours coming upstairs. He remembered dragging Frank away to show him some of the more disturbing stuff he’d found on tumblr (this was after they’d both had a few drinks), leaving Phil with Gerard in the living room. Then back to the living room for more drinks, since Frank insisted he needed something to get rid of the things Dan had shown him.
Then… Then they’d both gone back to their own flat. Leaving Dan and Phil in the living room. Then… What then? How could any of that possibly have lead to…
“Oh fuck, what did we do?”
Dan didn’t realise he’d said it out loud, but it was obviously enough to wake the already stirring Phil. Dan clamped his hand over his mouth again, trying to stay quiet as Phil shifted over onto his back, his eyes opening just a little as he rubbed at his hair, his other hand automatically reaching out for his glasses.
Phil stretched out fully, his foot connecting with Dan’s leg, making Dan jump. He giggled at Dan’s reaction. Phil smiled, trying to get his eyes to focus on Dan, who was still looking down at him, wide eyed, his hand still over his mouth.
“Mornin’” Phil said.
If at all possible, Dan’s eyes got wider.
Phil laughed at him. “What?”
Dan swallowed and tried to gain some composure. “Phil. I don’t want to alarm you. But… We appear to have… Slept. Together.”
Phil laughed, again, and sat up a little. “Well, yeah. That’s obvious, since we’ve woken up in the same bed and all.” He pushed up his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. “What’s wrong with that?”
Dan did his best not to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He knew full well that Phil usually slept in pyjamas, so the small glimpse of Phil’s bare chest as he sat up did nothing to counter the ideas forming in Dan’s memory lapsed brain.
Dan closed his eyes, covering his face with his hand as he asked, “Phil… Can you just. Tell me. Are you naked too right now?”
By Phil‘s tone, Dan could imagine him frowning in confusion. “Naked? Why would I be naked? I’ve got my new penguin pyjama bottoms on.” Then he pulled back the covers at the edge to show them off. “See?”
Dan peeked through his fingers and saw that Phil was in fact telling the truth. He sighed with relief.
“Wait.” Phil said, suspiciously. “Why did you say ‘too’?”
Dan looked away, nervously. “Erm. I. Did I? I didn’t…”
Without warning, Phil grabbed the covers, and attempted to pull them away from Dan, who let forth a horrific shrill kind of noise as he pulled the covers away from Phil, covering himself more fully.
Phil had, by now, burst into a fit of laughter. He caught the slightest glimpse of skin and fully knew the truth. “Oh my God! Why’re you naked?”
“I don’t know!” Dan screeched, before pulling the covers over his head, hiding completely.
Phil stopped laughing and moved a little closer.
He waited until Dan dramatically tugged at the cover, revealing his head and shoulders again. He wasn’t looking at Phil, instead playing absently with a loose thread. “I hoped… Maybe you’d remember something. About… Whatever happened.”
Phil tilted his head, notably pondering. “Nope, I remember nothing after the guys going home and us putting the movie on… I was pretty sleepy from that wine by then.”
Dan looked at him. “We watched a movie?” He sighed. “I don’t even remember that much… Do you know what it was?”
Phil shook his head again.
“Damnit.”
Phil laughed. Then to Dan’s surprise, Phil pushed back the covers and got up, heading to the wardrobe.
Phil caught the look of pure disbelief and panic Dan was giving him. “Dan. Relax. It’s not like we’ve never woken up together before.” He said with a smiling laugh as he pulled on a t-shirt.
Dan stared at him, no idea how Phil could be so calm. “Yeah but. Not- Not like this!” Dan pulled up the covers, then wrapped them around himself more tightly.
Again, Phil just laughed. “Dan. It’s fine. Now, are you gonna get out of my bed and come have breakfast or…?”
Dan blinked at him, then looked pointedly between Phil, the bed and the door.
Phil rolled his eyes, exaggeratedly. “Are you seriously kicking me out of my own room?”
“I don’t want you seeing me naked!” Dan squeaked. “At least you already had something on!”
Phil smirked. “Well apparently I just slept next to you naked so who knows-”
“Phil!” Dan’s eyes were closed, tight. “If we’re not gonna discuss this seriously-”
“I’ll get the kettle on, and get a mug out ready for you, shall I?” Phil said, more gently, a little more serious.
Dan nodded. “Thank you.”
Phil left, and Dan slowly pushed himself out of bed, wincing slightly as he stood. His whole body seemed to ache, and he couldn’t understand why. Phil’s bed was more than comfortable enough, so why he felt like he’d slept so badly he couldn’t tell. Dan decided rather than dashing to his own room, he’d just steal some of Phil’s clothes for now.
He made his way to the kitchen, and found not only coffee made, but a bowl, spoon, milk and- this was a miracle, his favourite cereal out, waiting for him. He checked, just in case Phil had left the box out after finishing it off himself, but, no, there was still plenty left for Dan.
Dan made his way into the living room and found Phil already sat on the sofa, legs crossed beneath him. He smiled as he saw Dan come in, and picked up an empty DVD case. “One mystery solved!” He said, sounding proud. “Looks like we watched The Avengers!”
“Again?” Dan grimaced as he sat down. “Ugh. Apparently last-night-us had no sense of originality…”
“Hey, can’t blame us, it IS a great movie.”
“Yeah.” Sighed Dan. “But we could’ve watched something new.”
Phil shrugged. “But… then we wouldn’t remember it this morning anyway, so we’d need to watch it again. At least we know if we watched Avengers, we already know we like it.”
Dan nodded. “True. True.”
A few moments silence as they ate, and drank their coffee.
“We really need to talk about whatever happened last night.” Dan finally said, setting his bowl down.
Phil nodded, but frowned. “I guess but… What’s to talk about if neither of us remember?”
“Doesn’t that worry you?” Dan asked. “Phil what if… What if something… What if something important happened, and we don’t remember? Doesn’t that-?” Dan huffed, quietly, pushing back at his fringe. “Doesn’t that fucking scare you? Or is that just me?”
Phil frowned, shifting closer. “I didn’t realise this was scaring you? I thought… I thought this was just a… Weird, funny thing that had happened that we couldn’t figure out what led up to it.”
Dan laughed, hollowly. “Well, I wish I saw it as that. But that’s not how I see it right now.”
Phil nodded, shifting up more, so he was sat as close to Dan without touching. “Honestly Dan. I don’t… I think we just had a little more to drink than we should’ve and… And we fell asleep in my room, probably talking, and… And that’s it.” He tried a small smile. “The only thing that worries me is I bet we had some awesome ideas that we can’t remember now.”
Dan smiled too, just a little. “That’s all fine. But… There’s too many things not explained. The big one, you know, staring us right in the face is… What the fuck was I doing naked? Why- when did that happen?”
Phil shrugged. “Maybe you got too hot in the night? You didn’t remember you were in my room so…”
Dan shook his head. “I don’t know… Maybe? I don’t remember.”
“It was hot last night.” Phil said.
Dan nodded.
“I remember taking my pyjama top off in the night.”
Another nod from Dan.
“And… Oh. Oh wait. Dan. I remember something.”
Dan looked up, hopeful, waiting.
“I remember… Getting back under the covers and… Knowing you were there and… I think I… I’m pretty sure I curled up against you. You looked so… Snug and I guess… I couldn’t help myself.”
Dan blushed. “Wish I remembered that.”
Phil smiled, blushing too.
“But that… It doesn’t answer anything.”
Phil shook his head. “Not really. No.”
Dan took in a deep breath, closing his eyes as he did. He let the breath out slowly, not looking up at Phil even as he opened his eyes again. “Phil. I should probably just say this now before I lose my nerve.”
Phil shuffled closer, his knee knocking against Dan’s as he laid a hand on Dan’s shoulder.
“Phil… I. Um. There’s something, there’s something I realised wasn’t right and, I’ve been trying to ignore it but, if it means what I think it does I. Phil, I. Um. I ache, like really bad and, I know it’s all over like I slept weird but it’s not just that and Phil I just really wish one of us remembered what happened last night because I am really fucking worried something big and important happened and- and I can’t deal with the fucking idea that neither of us can remember something like that.”
Phil stared at him, shocked as Dan spilled all this forth. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around Dan, pulling him close. He was shaking, very slightly, and no. No. Phil was not going to allow this situation to make Dan cry. That wasn’t fair.
“Hey, hey.” Phil cooed, pushing Dan back a little so he could see him. “Dan, I know it sucks, not being able to remember but if something… Important. Something like. Um. Something like sex, happened, I promise, promise that no matter how drunk I was, I wouldn’t forget it. Okay?”
Dan swallowed, not convinced, but perhaps considering what Phil was offering him. “Yeah?”
Phil nodded. “Dan, I bet all that happened was we were so tired, we ended up in my room, fell asleep, and both got too hot in the room. That’s it. Because if anything, anything along the lines of us actually… Having sex happened, we’d remember. So there’s no way that happened, so you can stop being scared of that.”
Dan smiled, just a little. “I guess…”
“Dan.”
“Mm?”
“Trust me?”
Dan nodded, smiled more. “I do. Yeah. I do.”
“Good.” Phil said, leaning closer, and kissing Dan’s cheek.
“So… We’re putting this down to something weird and funny that happened to us?” Dan asked, tentatively.
“Exactly.”
-The previous night-
The first kiss had come so easily, they barely even realised.
A few weeks that had passed since the video confession and the reply and somehow the two of them had become even closer. While at first Phil over thought every touch and look he passed over to Dan, worried about giving the wrong impression before he figured it out for himself, worried about possibly leading Dan on, eventually he had been able to relax, and let instinct take over.
They’d been told they already seemed that little more… Tactile. And it had been noted, it wasn’t just Dan staring at Phil anymore, the looks were returned equally. So, it seemed that without even knowing it, Phil had made his choices about Dan. And he was happy with that. It felt good, right, warm in that way you get when you find ‘your person’. Even more so when you realise they’d been there all along.
The first time they’d kissed, properly, had been a couple of nights previously. Phil had awkwardly brought up the things he’d been thinking, and explained that he was sure now, he felt the same way as Dan.
The kiss had been sweet, light, brief. And both had blushed deeply after.
And tonight, that first kiss was equally as brief and soft. They pulled away, and smiled shyly at each other.
Dan’s eyes closed again, and Phil laughed, softly. “I think it’s time to get you to bed.”
“Now Phil! I never took you for being a forward one! One kiss and then you’re demanding my body.” He giggled.
Phil rolled his eyes. “Dan. You know full well that’s not what I meant.”
Dan grinned at him, wickedly.
“In any case, you are waaaay too drunk right now. I’d be taking advantage.” Phil got to his feet, then immediately slipped down heavily onto the sofa again. Both of them burst into giggles.
It took Phil a few more minutes, then he got to his feet, and helped Dan up too. “Sleep!” Phil announced, guiding them towards the bedrooms. As they got to the doors, Dan edged closer to Phil’s door, away from his own.
“Dan…” Phil sighed.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Dan asked. Phil didn’t reply, so Dan carried on. “Please. Please, I was showing Frank stuff on tumblr and I saw something from creepy-pasta and I only just remembered and now I’m really, really scared so please let me stay with you tonight, please?”
Phil sighed, more exaggeratedly, in that way that Dan knew really was already a yes.
“Fiiine.”
Dan bounded in past him before Phil even got the door fully open. He jumped onto the bed and looked at Phil, expectantly.
Phil laughed. “And just what is that look?”
Dan shrugged, and burrowed under the covers.
“Dan! Are you not even going to go and change into your pyjamas?”
Phil stood at the door, and watched as Dan wriggled about under the covers, never once emerging. Until an arm stuck out, jeans and tshirt in hand, before dropping both items to the floor. Then Dan pulled back the covers, sitting up and grinning a little. “Ta-dah!”
Phil rolled his eyes. “At least tell me you kept your underwear on.”
“Well… I guess you’ll find out… Huh?”
Phil shook his head. “You know, I really should be more responsible and send you to your own room.”
Dan shook his head, more violently than Phil had. “No! No, please. I’ll be good. I’ll be good I promise.”
It wasn’t like Phil was going to actually kick him out anyway.
The quickest change into his night clothes, then Phil joined Dan in the bed. Dan had curled up on his side, his eyes closed, already drifting. As soon as he felt Phil join him though, he rolled over onto his other side and wiggled closer. Phil took the hint, curling into him, his arm going around Dan’s body, pulling him close even as he jolted slightly at feeling Dan’s bare skin.
Dan smirked just a little at Phil’s reaction to touching him.
Moving a little closer, Dan nuzzled against Phil’s neck, then kissed him, lightly on the cheek.
“Dan.” Phil said, quietly, patiently.
“Don’t ask me to stop.” Dan replied, ducking down slightly, catching Phil’s lips with his own. A brief, careful, almost chaste kiss at first. Then, just as Dan seemed to pull away, he came back closer, kissing Phil a little more deeply. Phil kissed him back, then he attempted to pull back, made difficult as Dan kept following him, his hand catching up into Phil’s hair.
“Dan. C’mon.” Phil sighed.
“It’s just… A little kissing.” Dan said, his voice quiet as he edged close again. “Nothing wrong with… A little kissing, is there?”
He leant in again, catching Phil’s lips before he was pushed back. “Dan.” Phil’s voice was a little more serious, a little more stern. Dan pouted in response and Phil couldn’t help but smile at that. Somehow, then he was the one kissing Dan, he was the one doing the chasing, the pulling closer. He could feel Dan smiling into the kisses, knowing Phil had let Dan win this one.
They moved easily close, legs tangling as arms wrapped tighter.
Lips parted slightly as tongues tested and teased inside each others mouths, all the while growing more and more aware of each other, of the possibilities.
Just as Phil was considering that they needed to be careful, needed to go slow, Dan managed to take him completely by surprise, pulling back from their kiss, and moving his mouth to Phil’s ear. “Just so you know.” He whispered. “I really. Really want to have sex with you.”
Phil pushed him back gently and sat up, staring down at Dan, who stayed, lying on his back, looking up at Phil. The covers had been pulled back a little as Phil sat up, and he tried his best to keep his eyes on Dan’s face, not his body.
Dan blinked, slowly. Then he smiled. “Relax Phil. I didn’t mean tonight.” The smile turned into a smirk as he met Phil’s eyes, and let his hand reach down, under the covers to his own crotch. “Unless… You wanted?”
Phil let his eyes stray, briefly to where Dan’s hand had disappeared. Dan’s arm was moving, just slightly, enough to give away exactly what he was doing.
Phil shook his head, then reached out, grabbed that arm, stilling it by taking hold of Dan’s hand.
“Dan. I think you should slow down a little, okay? Now you know I’m more than happy sharing a bed with you, and being close, but I really think we need to be careful so we don’t end up… Rushing into things.”
Dan was smiling, just slightly, looking up at him, as if he was listening, intently. He squeezed Phil’s hand, once, then again.
“Phil.” He said, quietly, so quiet that Phil was forced to lean down closer to hear him.
“This is… Kinda embarrassing but… I can tell you, right?” He paused, and looked expectantly at Phil. An answering nod prompted Dan to continue. “I. Um. I guess I’ve… Been having trouble. Past few nights. I haven’t, um.” Even in the vague darkness of the room, Phil could see Dan blushing, so he moved in closer again.
“I haven’t… Been able to… Get off.”
And now it was Phil’s turn to blush darker than Dan was. And Dan was still looking at him, wide eyed and earnest, his hand still gripping Phil’s, possibly a little harder than before. Phil closed his eyes, hoping that maybe, if he wasn’t seeing the look Dan was giving him, it might make this all easier. Phil said, quietly, “You don’t want to be telling me this.”
But either Dan genuinely didn’t hear him, or at least he pretended he hadn’t, he sat up, and leaned closer into Phil, his hand gripping Phil’s more tightly for sure now.
“It’s because, because I need you.” Dan said, an edge of pleading to his voice. “I need you.”
Phil tried to get his hand free, tried to turn away, neither of these things was Dan allowing him to do.
“Dan. Stop. You’re drunk and I am not listening to this anymore because I know how much you’re going to hate yourself for this in the morning.”
“Last time I was this drunk I ended up confessing my feelings for you. That worked out pretty okay in the end, didn’t it?”
“Dan…” Phil sighed, thinking that Dan was definitely more drunk now than he had been that night, and that just because one drunken situation had turned out okay didn’t mean that it always would. In fact, Phil was pretty sure that the whole confession thing was a fluke, a kind of ‘exception that proved the rule’ when it came to drunken ideas.
Dan huffed, obviously becoming a little annoyed that his advances were being so consistently ignored. Then he leaned in, laying his head on Phil’s shoulder. He huffed again, like a small child sulking.
“It’s not like I’m asking you to fuck me.” Dan said, impatiently. “I don’t wanna rush that either. I’m just… Asking for… A little help.”
He pulled Phil’s hand down then, past the covers that currently covered them up to their waists. Phil yanked their hands back, looking Dan straight in the eyes. Every inch of him very loudly communicated ‘no’ to Dan.
Dan looked away, and sighed. “Please?” He said, quietly. “I just. I need. Something.”
Phil waited until Dan let go of his hand, until Dan curled up against him, cuddling up close, giving up on his pleas, although it was clear he was in no way satisfied with how this had turned out.
Then Phil slowly, slowly let his hand wander down, reaching to Dan’s crotch, touching him lightly. Dan flinched, surprised by the sudden contact, and his eyes snapped open, staring at Phil, who looked right back.
Phil kissed him, softly. “Just this, okay?”
Dan nodded, enthusiastically, and shifted down a little, snuggling up close against Phil. The warm glow of relief flooded through him, knowing he wasn’t rejected after all.
Phil found that Dan had in fact left his underwear on after getting into Phil’s bed. He pressed his hand a little more firmly against Dan, and felt Dan wince at the pressure. Dan didn’t need much working up, he was pretty much there already. Phil carefully pulled at Dan’s underwear, undressing him that final bit.
Dan shivered slightly, and pressed closer.
Phil pulled the covers up again, over them both. “Turn around.” Phil said, quietly.
Dan pouted, very slightly. “But… Then I can’t kiss you.”
Phil smiled, kissing him carefully, sweetly. “Trust me. It’s better for feeling… Closer.”
And, since Dan wasn’t really in any position to argue with Phil, he did as he was told, turning around, onto his other side, then feeling Phil curl up closer behind him. Dan could’ve sighed with how contented it made him feel, their bodies all but slotting together perfectly.
Okay, so Phil had been right, this was good.
Phil reached over, touching Dan again, slightly nervous now. They were going past barriers they’d not even realised they’d had. After this… This made it official, didn’t it? They were ‘together’. This wasn’t just friends, just close friends anymore. This was…
Phil shut those thoughts out of his mind, knowing they’d been leading up to this, longer than Phil even realised.
His fingers made contact with Dan’s skin, briefly tracing over Dan’s stomach, leading down. He could feel Dan against him, holding his breath.
A glancing touch of pubic hair, then Phil finally let his hand wrap around Dan’s cock. Dan’s breath hitched, and Phil felt him press closer against him.
Phil delicately kissed Dan’s shoulder, and began stroking him slowly.
He asked a few times, if the speed was okay, if the grip was alright. He didn’t yet know what Dan liked, so these were important questions.
Dan just told him it was good, it was all good.
And Phil kept kissing Dan’s shoulders, careful not to touch his neck, even though Dan wanted to scream that FOR ONCE it was okay to touch his neck. But words seemed so far beyond Dan now. He was undone, unravelled, naked with the one person it felt okay to be naked with. And finally, finally getting to a point where he’d find at least a temporary release. He hadn’t been making that up, not at all. He’d tried, oh he’d tried, he’d needed to get off for days and days now, but nothing seemed to satisfy. He’d attempted the always risky task of getting off during the day, wondering if the element of possibly being caught was the edge he needed. Jerking off in the shower had proved a no go also, stupid water ran cold before he even got close.
But this… Phil close, Phil touching him. This was exactly what he needed.
Dan had no idea he was moving against Phil, and at first, Phil had barely noticed too. But now he noticed, really noticed. Dan was rocking with every stroke of Phil’s hand, his ass rubbing against Phil’s crotch. And… Well. The obvious thing was occurring to Phil.
“Dan.” He whispered. “Dan please can you stop moving like that?”
“Mm-wh-? Moving like what?”
Phil closed his eyes as Dan pressed against him again. Any second now, surely, surely Dan was going to start noticing.
And then. Dan went still, and Phil realised, he already had noticed.
“Is that. Um. Is that your… Is that your dick I can feel?”
Phil had to stifle a laugh at that. Somehow, when Dan put it into words like that, it became at least a little funny.
“Um. Yes.”
“So… You’re hard.”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Well. Yeah. Yes.”
Dan turned his head slightly, so he could see Phil, just a little. “Take your pyjamas off.” He said, quietly.
“Dan…”
“Trust me!”
Phil sighed, but did as Dan said, very, very unsure about what was happening.
He slid back behind Dan, though a little further away from him than he had been.
“Come close again.” Dan asked, sounding a little upset that Phil had moved away.
“Dan I’m really not sure this-”
“Please!”
So Phil did as he was asked, wincing a little as his skin made contact with Dan’s, and as more sensitive parts also made contact.
He saw a smile spread across Dan’s face. “I can feel you.” He said, sounding blissful.
Phil closed his eyes, unable to say anything, he wanted to protest against this, but couldn’t. This felt too good. Even just the simplicity of lying together, naked, their bodies pressed against each other.
And then Dan moved again, as he had been, rocking once more, his ass pressing against Phil’s cock and oh this, this was a very, very stupid thing they were doing but Phil no longer had the inclination to mention it.
He let his hand find it’s way back to Dan’s cock, touching him again, possibly gripping a little tighter, moving a little faster.
Phil bit gently at Dan’s shoulder, then a little harder.
Soft panting filled the room, even as Phil buried his face against Dan’s neck, finding himself moving with Dan now. He couldn’t help it and he couldn’t help the thoughts in his mind. His cock was pressed against Dan’s ass, they were moving like they were fucking, a small part of him begged to know what it would be like, inside Dan. What would it be like, actually inside him?
His free hand moved down, cupping Dan’s ass, then squeezing gently.
Dan’s eyes were tight shut, he was whimpering, moaning now. He was close, so close now. And as he felt Phil’s hand on his ass, he knew the one thing he wanted, the one thing to tip him over that sweet edge.
“Phil.”
A muffled reply against his neck, which Dan had to take as an acknowledgement.
“Phil. I want- Um. Fuck. I don’t know- I don’t know how to ask this.”
Phil lifted his head, and leaned over, kissing Dan on the cheek. “Whatever it is, just ask.”
Dan swallowed, hard. “I- I- I need… Something. Um. Somethinginsideme.” The last part was hurried, barely even muttered. Phil laughed, softly. “A little slower, a little louder?”
Dan licked his lips. “I said. I need… Something… Inside me.”
Immediately, Phil felt hot.
Had Dan somehow read his mind? Known what Phil was thinking?
“Phil.” Dan said, worriedly, and Phil guessed he’d taken a little too long to respond.
“Dan. I-”
“I don’t mean- I’m not- I’m not ready for sex.” Dan explained. “But… Maybe… You could. Um… Just. Fingers?”
Phil sucked in a breath. “Dan. I’m really not sure…”
“Phil. You know how I said… I’d have to really trust the person I was with if I was ever going to have sex with a guy?”
“Yeah.” Phil’s voice came out soft, even though his mouth felt dry.
“I meant you. I… Always meant you.”
Phil closed his eyes, rested his head on Dan’s shoulder. “Now is not the best time to remind me you’re a virgin.”
Dan shifted slightly, so he could see Phil better. “You’re not though. So… You know what you’re doing.”
Phil laughed. “Um. How do I put this… I was previously in your position. So. In many ways, I have no clue.”
Dan smiled. “Great. So we’re both new to this.”
“Dan…”
“Can we just… Try?”
Phil still looked unsure, so Dan sat up, whispered in Phil’s ear. “Would it help if I told you I’ve… Tried, with my own fingers?”
Phil closed his eyes and tried very, very hard not to picture that.
Okay, so maybe not that hard.
“Lay back down.” Phil said, gently.
Dan settled back down, on his side once more. He kept his hand lightly on his own cock, not quite stroking, but touching just enough. His other hand held on to the pillow beneath his head.
Phil was still behind him, kissing his shoulder again. One hand on Dan’s hip, massaging gently. A single finger was teasing, carefully at Dan’s ass.
Both hearts pumping hard, and both panting loudly.
Dan gripped tight to the pillow, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried his best not to tense as Phil’s finger pressed inside him. Phil’s hand at his hip massaged more, and Phil shushed gently in his ear.
“You’re okay. You’re doing good, so good.”
Dan gasped out his breath. His hand moving to grab Phil’s one at his hip, holding tight.
The finger went in further, and Dan turned his head in towards the pillow. Still, those sweet words of comfort in his ear.
“Dan, you’re doing really good, but, if you want to stop-”
“No!”
By the time the second finger was introduced, Dan was shaking, begging Phil to touch him again.
He came so fast then, it took his breath away entirely.
After, Dan turned back around, and curled up tight against Phil. Shaking for a different reason entirely. Tears streaked his cheeks.
Phil ran his hand through Dan’s hair, kissed his forehead.
“Too much?” Phil asked. “Too soon?”
Dan didn’t reply to that.
Eventually, Dan lifted his head, kissed Phil’s cheek, and told him he loved him.
Not long after that, Dan fell asleep, still curled up against Phil.
-
And yes.
Phil remembered more than he let Dan know.
The next morning, Phil watched as Dan pushed himself up off the sofa, wincing slightly as he did. Dan offered him a still slightly unsure smile, and Phil did everything he could to give a wide smile back.
“I’m… Gonna shower, if that’s okay with you?”
Phil nodded. “Go ahead!”
Dan smirked. “Don’t wanna, ah, join me?”
Phil laughed loudly and threw a cushion at him.
Dan left the room, grinning more genuinely now.
A pang of guilt hit Phil, as it had been, continually, all morning, ever since he’d decided he’d pretend he remembered nothing, just like Dan. But, he knew, this was right. Dan deserved better than last night.
And Phil would make sure, when the time was right, he’d get it.