Work Text:
My love is dead, and I want to flee
this place where love has forgotten me.
His voice is faint, but he calls to me;
his lips are cold when he kisses me,
for my love is dead, and I want to be.
I want to be with my love.
My love is dead, and this world has none
to spare for me. For there's not a one
who truly cares what becomes of me,
who'd weep for long were I not to be.
But my love is dead, and he cares for me,
and he calls to me. Oh, my love.
My love is dead. I may also be,
for these halls are cold, and I'm so empty
of goodness or hope, so what's here for me?
To convince me to stay when I want to flee?
To convince me to not, when I could be free
to be with my love, who I know loves me?
He's the only one who does.
*
My love is dead. Oh please, leave me be.
I don't want to be touched, or watched, or to be
made a fool, made a show. I want you all to go.
I want you to leave for I'll never believe
that you do want me here, or hold me at all dear.
It's false. It's all pity. I hate it, I want to be
gone, and alone. To finally come home
to the only one I want close to me.
So he's dead? I am too, or I want to be.
How I want to be, oh my love.
*
My love is dead, and the marbles roll.
My thoughts come undone, the time takes its toll.
You all force me stay when I want to go,
when I want to go and rest.
*
I don't want to hear. I don't want you to see,
I can't go while your eyes are all watching me.
You shouldn't see the mess that's become of me
from a life with no love at all.
You don't see my pain. You don't look at me.
You see a tool, or a joke, or a memory,
while I'm dying. I'm crying, at the end of my rope,
but it's too ugly to look at. it's too much to hope
that it'll change for the better. And I can't cope
for much longer. Oh I can't, my love.
I know I'm a mess. I know I'm a mistake,
and that my past is something I can never shake.
So that's why I'll go. I can make a clean break
and then I'll be with my love, and be loved.
*
My love is dead, yet I live through the day
(though I spend every hour longing to be away)
and nobody seems to know the right things to say
to convince me to stay, oh my love.
And some things help, but there's so much that hurts.
I know this suffering is all my just desserts,
but I'm so tired of feeling I'm worth less than dirt.
I'm so tired, so tired, my love.
*
But maybe the light will come back into me,
and my future will shine, and i'll become happy.
Though that's not very likely, is it?
For my love will never return to me,
and I can't change what I am, that's a certainty.
So I don't think that dream's ever meant to be
any more than a lovely thought.
So leave me to rot. Let me leave today
down that dark and forbidden way
where I can go to my love and stay,
and be loved, and be free to love.
But you still insist like I can be convinced
that life has things in it I won't want to miss.
But I think we both know I'll never live in bliss,
(This world just won't let me, my love.)
But perhaps, you say, there's happiness to be made
in small bites, in small steps. Within every small change
for the better. And maybe you can persuade
me that there's something for me here.
But for now, my life looks like a hall of locked doors
and the only love I know waits upon a far shore
so you've got to work hard, you've all got to do more
if you want me to keep living here
*
For my love is dead, and I want to be
in a place where I'm beloved and happy.
But if that isn't here, and there's nothing else for me,
then I'm going to leave.
So give me reasons to live, and to eat, and to stay,
or I'll finally go and remain that way.
Then my love, my darling, will no longer be
the only one who's dead.