Chapter Text
I woke up at around 3:56 am, at least according to the clock showing on my tv. Sal was fast asleep with his prosthetic resting on my lap and his head laid back on the soft dark red sofa cushion. My body refused to move, not wanting to disturb his slumber. It's been a while since he slept that comfortably, and I didn’t wanna lose the warmth his body radiated despite being somewhat cold to the touch.
He woke up around an hour later, slowly stretching in an attempt to not wake me up, unfortunately for him I was already up. He sat there for a good minute staring at me, more specifically staring at my lips. I spoke up, making him jolt for a second “Finally awake?” He let out a small groggy laugh before nodding. I felt the blood already rushing to my face as I slowly sat up, Sal pulled me by wrapping his arms around my hips and resting his head in the crook of my neck. I protested back “Sal, I wanna go outside to smoke please” he let out a playful complaint I couldn’t make out before he let me go.
I got up and bee lined to my bag where a box of cigarettes I had stashed away were found sitting in the pocket where usually you would put little containers like perfume sprays or lotions. Quickly grabbing it I went out the front door and sat down on the little steps of my porch and lighting up one. The wind blowing making it a bit more a challenging task, all worth it to feel the burning sensation slowly curling in my chest before letting it out when it became too much to bear. Sal joined me outside, the sight of his prosthetic back on his face making me frown the slightest bit. He sat down on a chair on the porch deck behind me and sighed out in relief as he relaxed once again. The cold air blew again as I stared at his figure, the wind eventually stung my eyes making them teary as I took another drag of my cigarette. His eventually found their way back to mines, I caught the way he shivered and his eye watering up just like mines. We both sat in silence, watching the dark hues of the night sky de gulf everything in sight except for the sight of Todd’s house across from mines. I wondered for a second about Larry, how he was doing throughout this whole ordeal.
I suddenly felt Sal’s cold hand on my hair line as he planted on right on the top of my head and ruffling it, making a mess that would be a bit of a hassle to deal with later. He then sat next to me and ask the cigarette, I handed it to him and looked at the ground in front of me before they look at the gray smoke gliding through the cake that tried to blow it away, it captured my attention instantly as it makes pretty patterns, then leaving in an instant. He then put the cigarette out on the step and then getting up while scolding me “you know these aren’t that good, but at least it isn’t those vapes you keep buying” he then let out a hand for me to pull myself up with, I clutched it, his calloused hands warm against my bandaged ones, they both held on longer than necessary before letting go.
I felt cold again, I longed for him to grip onto me for another moment. We both went inside and headed to our respective rooms, but not before saying goodnight to eachother. I however couldn’t sleep, not after something like that. Instead I stayed up til 9am pondering about how a relationship between me and this guy would even be like, would it end up like every other or would it be different. Before I could even wonder about each scenario any longer Todd called me telling me to come over for breakfast with Sal. Any sort of free meals were an automatic yes in my books, and probably in Sal’s too. That was how we found ourselves inside of Todd’s house, all of us, Larry included, at the dinner table in awkward silence. Todd was just about to speak up before a knock came at the door, he went to open the door and returned with Ashley, Maple, and Chug. Sal’s eyes widened as he quickly got up, speaking in disbelief to Todd “what the fuck is this about?” He was just about to leave but I quickly grasped his wrist, pulling him back near me. Ashley’s eyes flickered with sadness as she looked at the display in front of her. Todd cleared his throat before replying back “this is an intervention, you guys need to get your shit together before this tour. We spent way too much to pussy out of it because of shitty drama” his arms crossed as he sat back down in his seat. Larry groaned and Ashley sat down in the empty chair next to him. Chug quickly backed up Todd “I mean you guys have to learn the difference between personal and professional life, man” Maple hesitantly nodded in agreement, she didn’t seem so sure of it herself. Ashley suddenly spoke up “well we can start with you fucking my boyfriend—“ Sal quickly interrupted her, bristling “I’m not your fucking boyfriend, Ash! We’ve been over this god knows how many times!” Larry and I both sat there silent as Sal and Ashley continued their bickering.
For obvious reasons the intervention went nowhere, it only made more issues than before, so now we were all sat in the living room in total silence. Todd cleared his throat while I rolled my eyes, Neil gave me a glare before focusing back on Todd. He continued “since you guys wanna be like kids then I’m gonna give you a kid solution. Everyone sit in a circle!” We all quickly moved in a circle in the middle of the living room, the tension crushing and the heat bubbling up, just waiting for that spark to make it erupt. Todd pointed at Larry, he yelled out as he did “Talk, you get five minutes then it’s Y/N’s!” Larry scrambled around trying to figure out what to even say, he groaned out “Why me first, Todd?” He hesitated before speaking up, “I guess we can start with that argument with Phillip in Y/N’s house—“
Ashley tried to interrupt him “He’s irreleva—“ Todd scolded her “It’s not your turn Ashley, Larry go on.”
Ash huffed and crossed her arms as Larry continued “Why was he talking about her like that? It honestly sounds like they were fucking or something. Also Sal what was that show about at the house, you were so protective over her?” He then groaned and held his head in his hands. “Man, wtf is going on” Todd then pointed at me, now I was scrambling to find the words to even begin the discussion about these claims and issues. I sighed and then began to pour out my thoughts and answers “I never had anything going on with Philip, I’ve only seen the guy two times, including the Mario Kart thing. I only invited them to get back at Sal for bailing on us!” They all sat in silence, Sal looked like he wanted to reach out and say something, anything, and I wanted him to as well, but it wasn’t his turn yet. I then continued to answer, really nervously that is “Look, this is whole me and Sal thing is not anything more than hooking up, okay. That was all it was supposed to be….” I looked at him, and god that dejected and saddened look in his cerulean eyes made my heart tear in the slightest bit. I broke, I couldn’t take hiding away anymore, let alone even keep hooking up with him while feeling so strongly for him. I continued
“I don’t wanna be just a fling—“
*SLAP*
I felt stinging on my cheek as I looked up to see Ashley being held back by Larry and Sal, my hand went up to touch the reddened flesh, but that wasn’t what I could focus on due to how frail her body looked, it seemed as if she hadn’t eaten in days, and her face sunken and bloodshot with adrenaline. And then I felt rage boiling up in my stomach, wrecking my guts around then before I knew it I was going in for a good slap myself. Todd and Neil held me back before things could go further, adrenaline pumping throughout all of our bodies, we continued to bicker, inconsiderate of our surroundings and once calm environment. We both eventually relaxed and for once I think Ashley actually grasped the concept of not being perfect, and that nobody was. I was forcibly sat back down by the two guys while Ashley was sat back in her spot, Todd was about to make us continue to debate, but Sal grabbed my arm and lifted me up to my feet, pulling me next to him by my waist. He glared at Ashley and Todd before walking away with me, but rather than leaving the house he led me to the guest bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me and locking it.
I quickly asked him as he took off his prosthetic “Sal, what’s wrong? We need to get back—“
His lips slammed onto mines, his teeth clashed with mines and his tongue stabbed into my mouth as soft whimpers left me. He pulled away and caressed my cheek gently, he placed a small kiss on it as he gently lectured me “don’t let her touch you like that, she knows what she did as well.” I nodded and he then kissed the top of my head before putting his prosthetic back on and heading back out with me. Ashley sat there, agitated and furious, but a glimmer of sadness still lingered. Todd then shook his head and then gestured for me to keep speaking. I hesitated before speaking again. “I don’t wanna live in hiding anymore, I wanna be able to do what I want without worrying about what Ashley is gonna do to Sal if it doesn’t fit her standards…” my words seemed to fit what the two other men were thinking. Then Todd gestured to Ashley, she teared up as she spoke up “Are you fucking kidding me? We all did fucked up shit and suddenly you guys are the good ones?” I felt my head begin to face the ground, Sal averted his gaze and Larry looked taken a back, she then continued getting more worked up as Maple tried to comfort her, Ash then pointed straight at me “You did this to me!!” My head shot back up to look at her as she sobbed and looked at my face “You fucking ruined everything, I looked up to you and what I got in return was you hooking up with him!!” I felt my eyes tearing up, not with sadness but rather with guilt “You ruined my life…”
She fell back onto the couch crying while everyone sat around uncomfortably, Todd then gestured over to Sal, who was sitting with a blank face due to his mask but his gaze underneath scream of guilt just like mines probably did on top of the uncomfortableness. He cleared his throat before talking “I don’t love Ashley, I never truly did.” She looked at him with heartbroken eyes, as he continued “I was a lonely depressed wreak in highschool and when someone showed me kindness I fell into it hard. I love you as a friend, but never anything further.” He looked down at the floor “that’s where I’ll admit that I fucked up, but Ashley you knew we never had true love. What we had was toxic and we have no one else to blame, but ourselves.” Ashley cried while shaking her head no, which only frustrated Sal more “You cheated on me with everyone when we fought, hell you slept with Phillip without a condom because you wanted fucking coke!” She continued to cry but this time… She wasn’t denying anything…
Sal continued on “You got knocked up and that was it, from then you were nothing more than just a roommate who hated my guts. Y/N came in at a time where I needed someone to wake me up and stop me from crying over my pathetic life.” He then turned to directly face Ashley
“Maybe it’s time you should too, so we can get out there again and make some music together, as a group.” Todd then stood up and then looked at all of us, shaking his head before asking us all “are you guys ready to be adults and do your jobs?” We all agreed and then quietly left as he shouted after us “Practice starts next week, get your shit together!”
Ashley stopped me before I could cross back to my house, she faced still red and puffy and guilt on her face “Via—“ she stopped herself, looking me directly in the eyes “Y/N…it wasn’t your fault…” I didn’t know what to say, part of me knew but another thought that it was just my mind playing tricks on me “it was this way for a while, you were just the spark to a pile of firewood covered in gas.” I nodded as she pulled me in for a hug, her arms were so thin I practically felt the bones and her skin was so pale white, I knew what she was going through but I didn’t know how to even speak up about, instead choosing to wrap her up in my arms and try to telepathically tell her that despite what happened in the past I cared about her, because I know what it’s like to be the skinny, sickly, and irritable “piece of shit” that she is. I knew what it was like to be in and out of rehab for something i knew deep down inside I would never truly stop doing.