Chapter Text

“Alright passengers, we have arrived at our destination” the pilot said through the speakers. Finally, she landed. She gets her carry-on and pushes through the line to get off the plane as fast as possible. With the loud annoying murmurs of the crowds of people, she rushes to get her luggage and gets to the terminal. Finally at the exit, she impatiently looks around for her parents. 

Where are they? I told them the right terminal. They should be-

“Sun! Sweetie! Over here!” her mother and father say while running to her. They both immediately smother her in one big hug. 

“Mom. Dad!” Sun yells with a hug of her own. Finally, After a full school year plus summer school, Sun has finally returned from America. She was back home..

“Oh my god. I can’t believe it! Look at how much you have grown. My little girl is so beautiful” her mom cries as she keeps hold of Sun. 

“Mom, it's only been a year. I haven’t changed that much” Sun rolls her eyes while squirming out of the hug.

“Ahhh c’mon. Let her be Sun. She hasn't seen you in so long.” Her dad says while he pats her back.

“I know I know, but I’m so tired! I’ve been on that plane for hours. Can we just celebrate at home?”

“Alright sweeties. Let's get to the car. Dear. Please pick up her bags.”. Sun’s dad does what he is told and all three go to the car. 

While on the drive home, her parents try to talk with her and find out everything she did in America. “How was the school?” “Did you make any friends?” “What did you do there?” “Did you date anyone?”, amongst other questions of a similar nature. At this moment, Sun regrets not calling them more. Maybe then the car trip would have been a bit more peaceful. She gave them the typical “everything was fine. I had a lot of fun” lie to keep them happy. They bought it, which was good. One less problem for Sun to be anxious about. 

“- No?... Of course not. You say you love and care about me but… YOU DON’T LOVE ME!” 

…There was only one problem that matters to her right now. To fix what she had broken and ran from. All of her time in America was an attempt to not think about what she did. She made new friends, did some volunteer work, and even went on a couple of dates. It helped, but it wasn’t enough. Any time she was left alone with her thoughts, they were filled with her regrets. But that was the past. She was back home and once school started, she was going to have to face everything head on…she was hoping it came quickly. 

And quickly it does come. The first day of school has arrived. Sun gets up bright and early to look her best. Her bag was ready, her uniform was spotless, and Sunny was well gassed and ready to go. Sun eats with her parents quickly before hopping on her good old bike that she missed so much and hits the gas pedal full speed ahead. Despite being gone for so long, her muscle memory immediately kicks in. She drives and goes by the road where she first met Ongsa. A small part of her was hopeful she was there, but alas she wasn’t. Sun recovers from this little and detour speeds her way to school, getting there rather quickly. She locks up Sunny at the front and looks at her school. Nothing much has changed, but it’s still nice to see it again. 

She starts to walk around, looking for any trace of her old friends. She could guess Alpha and Luna were in college by now, but there was still Tinh, Charoen, Aylin, and even Ton. She misses them too and wants to catch up. Her prayers seem to have been heard and answered. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the two friends who have stuck together since middle school. 

“Charoen! Tinh! Over here!” Sun cries out too. They look around to find the voice before their eyes settle on the Sun. It didn’t take long till Charoen waves back and comes running to her.

“Sun! Oh my god you are back!” Charoen cheers and gives the girl a hug. 

“Sun, you’re back.” Tinh says with less enthusiasm as he trails closer. “How was the US?” he ask. 

“Oh it was… alright. I’ll tell you all about it later but if you don’t mind… Can you tell me where Ongsa is?” she asked. The both of them tense up and look at each other. Sun has a guess what's going on. “Look guys… I guess you know what happened between me and Ongsa. I… I don’t know how much she got hurt, but I want to talk to her. It won’t be bad, I swear. I just want to patch things up” Sun asks. 

“Yeah…that's not what we are worried about.” Tinh answers matter of factly. 

“Oh? Then what is it” 

“It’s Ongsa… she *ouch*” Charoen pinches her friend's arm to stop him.

“Tinh.” Charoen scolds her friend. 

“She is gonna find out anyway. “ Tinh responds. 

“Yeah but it’s not our place to tell-?” Charoen repeats. 

“Do you want her to see it?” Sun was losing her patients. Instead of an answer, these two were giving her a mystery. 

“If you guys don’t want to tell me whatever you two are talking about, then point me in the direction of Ongsa so I can see it for myself.” Sun chastises them. They look to each other again, as if an argument was going on through their eyes. While Charoen doesn't back down, Tinh rolls his eyes and prematurely takes victory.

“She’s at the court, relaxing in the bleachers.” Tinh says and Charoen is ready to smack him.

“Thanks Tinh. I’ll see you guys at lunch, yeah?”

“Ohhhhh we’ll definitely be seeing you. Later Sun” They two wave Sun goodbye as she runs off around to the back of the school. She could barely wait. The girl she was missing all this time was within her grasp. 

I’m surprised she isn’t tagging along with Tinh and Charoen. What’s she doing at the bleachers?... Ehhhh. She’s probably taking a nap there , Sun thinks to herself. Finally at her destination, she looks high and low and quickly finds Ongsa…and her jaw instantly drops. 

Ongsa is awake, and she looks good. Better than good, actually. It’s clear that she has been working on her looks. She was way more fit and her face looks flawless. She exuded an air of confidence that the jittery, anxious girl Sun knew before never did. Everything surrounding Ongsa was completely different, including who surrounded the girl.

Which was girls… a lot of girls. 

All of them pretty, to Sun’s annoyance. They were definitely not in the same year as them. Most looked to be about a year or two younger than her. All of them surrounding Ongsa, talking to her, laughing, and blushing. Ongsa seems to be relishing in the attention, casually touching the other girls and going along with their whims. Although this irritated the Sun, it wasn’t the absolute worst. Maybe she just got popular. It didn’t mean anything... Until…

As Sun was unconsciously getting closer to the bleachers, a girl comes up to them, blushing and looking to the ground. She seems to be struggling to speak, but eventually gets out what she wants to say. Sun couldn’t make it out, but Ongsa pulls the girl towards her and kisses her on the lips, to Sun’s horror. Her friends around her cheer, and after Ongsa and the girl exchange a few words, she starts talking to her friends.

“Wow on the first day. Some girls are bold.” 

“Yeah. Gave me her number and everything” 

“Are you gonna give her a call?”

“Probably. I mean she is cute enough, but I really hope she isn’t one of those who want anything serious” Ongsa rolls her eyes.

“Oh c’mon. Those are rare. Most girls who come up to you know what you’re about.”

“Yeah but still..  It’s gonna be a headache if she doesn’t”  

They continue to talk while Sun clenches her fist, hating every second of the sight and sounds that laid before her. She tries to stay strong, allowing only a few tears to dirty her face, but she couldn’t keep strong for long. Her body was frozen in place, her legs refusing to move and get away from this horror. As much as Sun thought it couldn’t get worse, fate seemed to hate her.

Ongsa whispers something to all of them and they all get up. Sun looks around and sees everyone is leaving. The bell must have rung. She goes back to looking at Ongsa, who spots her as well. Their eyes made contact for what felt like an eternity. Ongsa was the first to look away, a change in her eyes took over for less than a second before going back to the group that adored her. The group leaves for their classes, and Ongsa doesn’t give Sun another look. 

Sun on the other hand, feels like she is getting stabbed in the gut. She fell to the ground and her tears started flowing like a waterfall. Murmurs around her started to form, and Sun quickly notices that there is a crowd forming around her. She runs aways, trying to clean her face as she goes. She doesn’t even want to go to class anymore. She just wants to hide and rot away. But she couldn’t. Despite everything she just saw, her mind still wants to know… what happened to Ongsa?

Chapter Text

After that, the first few classes were just a blur for Sun. Nothing could register in her mind. The only occupying that space was the horrifying imagery that she unknowingly had to witness. Curiosity grew inside her, and finally lunch came. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there were no signs of Ongsa, but she did see Tinh and Charoen. 

“Chareon… Tinh…” Sun walks towards them with her head held low.

“I’m guessing you saw Ongsa?” Tinh asks and Sun nods. 

“What happened? And where is she?” Sun asks as she sits down. 

“The what will take a while to explain. The where, well…” Charoen hesitates to tell her the truth, while Tinh shrugs his shoulders and looks away. How bad could it be?

“She likes to…  go out … during lunch with her new friends.” Charoen explains. Sun let's Charoen words go through one ear and out the other quickly before they grow into a thought she doesn't like.

“I can explain what” Tinh raises his hands to volunteer. “Ongsa is a h-” Charoen pinches his sides. “Ouch! What the hell, Chareon?” Tinh turns to his friend, annoyed.

“Dude” she points to Sun’s swollen eyes and miserable expression. Chareon, not trusting Tinh to continue, takes over the conversation.

“Sun…Ongsa changed. A lot. And we don’t even know the full story. And even if we did, you look miserable right now” Charoen points out and Sun feels a bit embarrassed. “Look. We are hanging out at Alpha’s tomorrow. Why don’t you come over and we can talk it over”

“Ohhhh that sounds like a horrible idea,” Tinh explains. “Pretty sure Alpha will lose it if Sun goes”.

“W-what? Why?”

“Tinh, stop it. No she won’t.” Charoen chastises her friend. “Look, You can come tomorrow . Once you feel a bit better we can tell you more.” 

“...Will Ongsa be there?”

“Probably not but if she is, I’ll let you know in advance. We can do it later.” Charoen tells her and Sun nods. 

“Okay…”. Sun continues to sulk. 

After she finishes her lunch, she separates with them and goes back to class. The rest of the school day was the same as a start. A blur, where nothing was important enough was able to reach her mind. When she went home, her parents noticed her mood and asked but she quickly brushed them off. This was something she couldn’t tell them. 

The next day comes quickly, but not quick enough for Sun. She barely slept, only getting three hours of rest. Her mind felt foggy, but nothing that some coffee couldn’t fix. She looks at her phone and sees a message from Charoen. 

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Talked to Alpha. She said Ongsa isn’t going to be there- Charoen

Meet us at the house at like 12. - Charoen

Okay. Ty. - Sun

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Sun gets ready and quickly leaves her house, only giving her parents a weak goodbye and quick drink of coffee. Ongsa’s house was just a quick drive away. Despite being gone for almost a year, she still remembers the way to Ongsa’s house like the back of her hand. She parks and chains up Sunny outside their house before going through the gate. She rings the doorbell and hears two people talking.

“I’ll get it,” said a voice from afar.

“No no no, It’s fine. I’ll get it. I’m closer” a voice that sounds like Chareon runs to the door to greet Sun. “Sun! You’re here! How are you feeling?” 

“As good as I’ll ever be. Who else is here?”

“Me, Tinh, Alpha, Alyin and Luna. No Ongsa” Charoen reassures her.

“Okay good… Can I come in now?” Sun asks and Charoen looks nervous.

“Yeah yeah. Come on in. ” Charoen motions for her to come in. She enters the

“Sun!” “Human Sun” Aylin and Luna come in for a hug. “Welcome back!”

“Thank you. It’s good to see you guys!” 

“Same. It’s been so long! We need to catch up.”

“Well that’s kinda why I’m here-”

“Sun?” Alpha comes into the room shocked. 

“Alpha! It’s good to-”

“What the hell are you doing here!? Who invited her here?!” Alpha almost yells at the girl. Before Sun could answer, Charoen gets in between them and answers.

“I did. She saw Ongsa and had some questions.”

“What questions could she have?! She should know what happened! After all, It's all her fault!” Alpha starts to yell and points towards Sun.

“How is it my-” Chareon stops Sun from continuing the argument. 

“Alpha. Stop. She just got back from the US. She doesn't know what's going on. Calm down.”

“Why should I?”

“Look, I don’t know why Ongsa is acting that way. I came here to find out, and if it is all my fault then you can yell at me all you want, but right now I just want to know the truth.” Sun gets her word in.

“Fine, fine! Tell her.” Alpha yells and goes to sit on the couch. Charoen gets a chair for Sun far away from Alpha and the rest of them sit down. 

“Uhh… Well...Where to start…” Charoen thinks to herself. “Sun… what happened when you broke up with Ongsa?” 

Sun freezes up at the question and sits up. Her memories of that day… 

“ I can’t keep going on like this. I love you Ongsa, I love you so much. Can you please just come with me to America?...No?” 

“Too ashamed to talk about it” Alpha sneers and Sun’s sudden pale face. 

“Leave her alone Alpha” Chareon chastises her. “You don't have to tell us… but whatever you said, it messed with her. She was depressed for months after you left. She talked even less at school and didn’t do any of her school work. She would have had to repeat a year if it wasn't for Alpha.” Sun’s mouth dries at the information. “And I heard at home it was worse” Charoen looks at Aylin and Alpha. 

“Yeah. Human cousin never left her room when she got home, and she rarely ate. It was bad…” Aylin remembers..

“Bad? It was awful! She stopped eating and had to be taken to the hospital-”

“Alpha!” Charoen scolds the older girl to continue. “ Anyway. After that we recommended that she start dating again. You know, too help her feel better. We fixed up her appearance and helped her get some dates, but none of them worked out. All of a sudden, she started hitting on every girl she saw. Soon enough she started going through them like Ton does, except she is more…”

“She’s a ho” Tinh says for Charoen. She hits him on the arm and while some of the others glare at him. The only one who doesn’t drill hate at him is Sun, who stares at him in disbelief. “What! You were hesitating! She already saw it, she knows! I’m just putting it into words!” Tinh defends himself.

“She’s… what?” 

“She dates around a lot Sun… The reason she doesn’t come home often is because she often spends the night at other people’s places…” Charoen tries to break it to her. 

“Does that mean she…” 

“Oh yeah. If she were a guy, half the girls in the school would be pregnant” Tinh exclaims and Chareon hits him harder. 

“Tinh!” Charoen scolds him.

“Why are you getting mad? You know I’m right!” Tinh defends himself.

“Tsk. Whatever. But… yeah. She goes after every girl that catches her eye and a lot of them love her new look and attitude” 

“And some of them aren’t from the school. One time I saw someone drop her off in their car.” Alpha bitterly mutters. 

“What about your parents? What did they say?”

“Our parents don’t live here anymore. Dad got a big promotion but had to move. Mom wanted to go with him, so they left us here to finish school.” Alpha spiteful says.

“And you blame me? It was your responsibility to-”

“Don’t fucking shift this onto me! didn’t even agree to take care of them, but Mom pushed it on to me. They thought it would be easy! Ongsa wasn’t like this back then. But then college took up more of my time, and I couldn’t be on top of what she was doing. But I swear to god I did what I could when she was here. When she brought a girl home I had to fight her to kick them out! We argued almost everyday because of it until she just never came home. She didn’t come home for a month before I had enough. I had to find her and we finally compromised. Told her she should at least come home more often. She agreed, but… the damage was done.” Alpha holds her face as she starts to tear up. “ Me and Aylin don’t see her at all. She comes here when we aren’t here, and leaves before we come back. She doesn’t even sleep in her room.” 

“Why don’t you tell your parents?”

“You think I didn’t think of that?  If they heard what she was doing, they would disown her! They’d probably kick her out!  I would lose my sister entirely!  Thanks to you, that's the only way I could see my sister. Maybe once a week, if I’m lucky! All so she could give herself away every night like she’s worthless !” Alpha yells at Sun. 

“...”

“What? Got nothing to say? You broke my sister and left the country so the mess is all on us. Then you come back crying like you didn’t do any of this?” Alpha gets up and starts to point at her.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“You didn’t mean too? How about you think before you fucking ruin someone again. Because of you, I don’t even recognize my sister anymore. I don't see her anymore, I don’t talk to her anymore, and…. I miss her! I miss my sister, and It's your fault I lost her!” Alpha goes off before falling to the floor and crying. Aylin goes to help her up and sit her back on the couch while she continues to cry, with no stop in sight. 

“...I’m sorry” Sun apologizes in a weak voice but Alpha doesn't care. 

“I don’t want your apology, I want my sister back!” Alpha yells. Charoen goes to hold the crying girl.

“Sun… Do you think something you said caused this?” Charoen asks.

“I… I don’t know.” Sun thinks back. She knew her words hurt Ongsa, but it couldn’t have led to all this, right?

“Hmm whatever. You broke up with Ongsa so you have no reason to help. Now just leave.” 

“Calm down Alpha. Maybe she can help. Right?” Charoen looks to Sun for reassurance but finds none. 

Sun wasn’t sure there was anything she could do.

This wasn’t the girl she argued with Ton over. This wasn’t the girl she sat under the stars with. This wasn’t the girl who was loyal to her and only her. She was someone else, someone Sun couldn’t bear to look at. The very thought of talking to the new Ongsa made her feel like vomiting. 

“I-I don’t know if I can” Sun says while tearing up. 

“Of course you can’t, usel-” Charoen gets up and drags Alpha away into the kitchen.

“Alpha please. Sun is hurting just as much. Just go and rest right now.” 

“Please. She didn’t care. Ongsa tried to message her before and Sun ignored her”

“It was a breakup. She probably just wanted some space.”

“Whatever. Keep defending her, like it will help!” Alpha leaves the room and Charoen follows to check on her. Sun looks around to the others. Aylin, who has been quiet the whole time, was being held by Luna. 

Tinh looks around and gets the TV remote. “Knew this wasn’t going to end well” he mutters matter of factly while turning on the TV to relax and fill the silence of the room. Sun felt too guilty to stay, so she said her goodbyes to everyone before driving back to her home.  

When Sun got home, she wasted her weekend. All she could think about was what Ongsa and every what if that ran through her head. What if she didn’t go? What if she didn’t argue…What if she didn’t tell Ongsa that she didn’t love her… 

Those words start to ring in her ear everyday.

Chapter Text

Weeks of school have passed since then. Sun was going through school like a ghost. From one class to the next, making sure that she didn’t come into contact with her ex anytime soon. Despite this, she has heard a lot about said girl from everyone around her. 

The guys hate her. She’s not very friendly with them. Some guys have tried to ask her out honestly before, but it resulted in crushed feelings. Now many of them are jealous that she is so popular with the girls, or mad that they can’t “get a piece of her”. 

As for the girls… That was a whole different story…

Sure there were always the outliers of girls who hated her, but they weren’t that many. There were also some who genuinely wanted to ask her out, but Ongsa famously rejected them as harshly as the guys. For many of the girls, she was just a dream. One that they can have one night and never really think about again. 

So stupid… they're treating her like a piece of meat and she’s going along with it. Sun often thought bitterly. It was a hard pill to swallow that sweet old Ongsa was like this. But she was going to have to accept the reality. Her old girlfriend was gone. 

While walking the hallway, she saw two faces she hadn't met up with yet. Deer and Vee. A weight of guilt starts to set in when she realises she hasn’t met up with them, but there isn’t any time like the present.

“Deer! Vee!” Sun calls and the two look behind and walk towards the girl.

“Sun! Nice to see you back from America… You… ummmm. You don’t look so good” Vee comments. “Were you sick or something?” 

“N-no. I’m fine” Sun says with small cracks in her voice, but the other two weren’t convinced

“Oh no… you heard about Ongsa, did you?” Deer says.

“...Of course I did. Everyone talks about her.”Sun spitefully says. 

“Oh Sun…I’m so sorry” Deer goes in to hug Sun.

“...Thank you” Sun says with a small crack in her voice. She hugs her friend back and releases a while. 

“Do you want to talk about it later? When do you have lunch?” Vee ask.

“I have the 12pm lunch slot”

“Oh! So do we” Deer excitedly says.

“How come I never see you guys?”

“Oh we go out to eat. We’ll show you. There is this great place that has amazing food, and it's the same price as the school lunches.”

“Alright see you guys later then!” Sun waves. 

“Later Sun!!!” Deer exclaims and Vee smiles and waves too. Sun felt a bit awkward, but she was happy to see time hadn't ruined their friendship, but there was one small nagging thought that was irritating her… 

Lunch came soon and Sun met her two friends at the gate of the school, where they grabbed lunch and went to a secluded part of school. They two girls eat while Sun pokes at her food for a bit. 

“Sun? You okay?” 

“...Hey Deer…Can I ask you something?”

“Um. Sure?”

“Did you, do it , with Ongsa?” Sun ask with her voice cracking. 

“ME? No, no no” Deer waves her hands to help proclaim her innocence.

“Really? Because I remember before you liking her before”

“That was before, when she was sweet and romantic. I don’t like playgirls! Besides, she's your ex, I wouldn’t do that to you Sun” Deer exclaims, looking a bit hurt at the accusations. 

“Ohh thank god” Sun says while putting her head down at the table. .

“...Did you think Deer would do that?” Vee raises an eyebrow. Sun puts her head up to answer the question.

“Normally no but… Everyone is different. You saw Ongsa, can you blame me?” Suns yell and the two girls wince. “Besides, I heard the rumors. I’m more likely to meet a girl Ongsa did it with than ones she didn’t” Sun bitterly says. “Sorry” 

“It’s fine Sun. Water under the bright” Deer says. “Speaking of Ongsa, are you going to do anything about her?”

“Me? What would I do?” Sun asks.

“Yeah, why should she do anything? Just move on. Maybe try and date someone else?” Vee suggests, and Sun’s mouth starts to dry.

“I- I don’t know…”

“Why not. We could help you find someone. We’ll put them through a rigorous test to make sure they're good for you” Vee jokingly offers. 

“No it’s just- I don’t want too”

“Why not?” Vee continues to push.

“...I just don’t, okay?” Sun gets up in a rush. “ Look I gotta go, thanks for the lunch. I’ll come with you guys tomorrow too. Later” Sun says and takes her food to go. 

“...She’s still bitter about Ongsa,” Deer points out and turns to her friend. “...Not your smartest move Vee”.

“Shut it…but yeah it wasn’t.” Vee admits. The two girls talk about it a little more until lunch ends. Sun in the meanwhile throws away the rest of her food, and walks around the hall to relax herself. As she passes the restroom, she starts to hear weird noises coming from the inside. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she peaks inside. 

“Oh my Ongsa~You were amazing~~” one girl cooed. 

“You were so bad yourself cutie!” presumably Ongsa says. 

“You want to come with me for lunch?” 

“Sorry. I have something else to do”

“Oh~, do you mean someone else?” the girl flirts. 

“Not today. Got homework I still need to do”

“Oh I can do it for you if you want”

“Thanks for the offer, but it’s fine. If I need help I’ll definitely go to you though” 

“Fine but you're not gonna walk with me a little?”

“Can’t do that either. You made quite the mess on me” 

“Oops~Sorryyyy” 

“It’s fine, it just proves that you enjoyed it~ but I’m gonna have to clean up a little. You don’t need to wait for me.” 

“Fine, see you around Ongsaaaa” she said in a flirtatious tone. 

“See you around, cutie” the voice inside says back. The girl stumbles along, with a clear wobble in her step and her uniform in a mess towards wherever she needed to be. Upon further inspection, Sun recognizes her from the first day of school. 

Ongsa starts to wash her hands and fix her uniform. Sun, who just previewed the whole thing, wants to run away and leave before Ongsa sees her. But a part of her was telling her to go inside. After all, they haven’t talked yet and Sun didn’t even need to try that hard to avoid Ongsa. The girl was just never around. It might be a while before this opportunity comes around again. 

….Fuck it

Sun walks in while Ongsa was scrubbing her hands deeply and almost viciously.

“Ongsa” Sun says, putting on her strong voice for this. The playgirl steps back, startled for a second but regains her footing instantly.

“Oh my god, Sun! You’re back! It's so good to see you!” Ongsa greets her with a smile while still trying to wash her hand. 

“Is it really?”

“Well yeah! I haven’t talked to you since you came back from America. Sorry about that” Ongsa says with a burst of energy. 

“Well it seems you have been busy” Sun grits her teeth and folds her arms.

“Ahhh. Did you hear any of that? Sorry. I tried to cover her mouth when she-” 

“I only heard the after.” Sun cuts her off. Ongsa nods her head. 

“Oh, that's good.” Ongsa says while finally finishing washing her hands before drying them. “How is everything?”

“...Fine” Sun responds. Ongsa was a bit disturbed from the one word response. 

“Oh… Well how's school been so far?” She tries to continue the conversation.

“Fine” Sun stands her ground. 

“...Well uhh… How was America?”

“Fine”

“...Is that really all you have to say? ”

“Yup”

“Really? I thought you say more”

“Why would you say that?”

“Cause It seemed there was something else on that pretty little tongue of yours”.

“W-w-what?” Sun’s strong front starts to slip. She unfolds her arms and stumbles a bit back, but Ongsa closes the gap between them. The closer she got, Sun started to feel smaller and smaller. She tried to avoid the taller girl’s eyes, staring at her clothes which were clearly still a mess. The strong smell of several girl’s perfume hit her nose, making her feel sick. Her eyes showed some tiredness and she was still panting a little. 

“It was always a shame that we never got to the best part of our relationship.” Ongsa grabs Sun by the chin. “I could always rectify that, my~dear~Sun” Ongas purrs to Sun. Sun’s heart races to this. What she said, how she looked, her behavior… It was all too much for Sun.  

*SMACK*

Sun smacks Ongsa and the tall girl wobbles a bit back. Ongsa holds her cheek as it stings with pain.

“Ouch! What the hell Su-”

“The best part of our relationship?!” Sun starts to yell. She lowers her hands but forms them into fist. Her face is fully red and she looks like she is about to cry. “You think the best part of our relationship was when we were going to fuck ? Not the time we spent together? Not all the messages we sent. Not the time we sat together and had our first kiss underneath the stars!” Sun’s voice starts to crack. “You’re not Ongsa. The old Ongsa wouldn’t have said that! She was happy enough spending time with me. She didn’t date me just to fuck me! She….You…You disgust me!” Sun looks at Ongsa, who wears a confused look. Ongsa continues to stand there while Sun storms out of the bathroom.

Ongsa stands there holding her cheek which was red in pain. Her poker face falls once Sun leaves. Her hand starts shaking erratically. The stinging pain lurked but she could hardly think about it. She takes a couple of deep breaths, steadies her head and waits for it to still. She doesn’t cry. Everything in her body knows that won’t happen. Any tears that her eyes wanted to create were pulling from a dry well.

Chapter Text

After the confrontation, the rest of the week went by quickly. Once the weekend arrive, Sun did her usual…

Absolutely nothing.

She was thinking of calling Deer and Vee to hang out, but was still debating on it. Her mood hasn’t been the best, and without school to keep her rein in, she was afraid she would take it out on them.

No, right now she just needed to do something to get her mind off Ongsa. Something that was better. Something like playing animal crossing. Her switch has been her best source of escapism with all her newfound stress. She would play it for hours on end, not interacting with anyone. Today seemed like it was going to be no different, before she got a call from her phone. An unknown number. Sun figures it was spam so she just ignores it and continues playing …But that gets harder and harder when they keep calling. After three missed calls, Sun finally picks up the phone to put an end to its insistent ringing.

“Hello? Who is this?” Sun says, already annoyed.

“Hey Sun” A familiar voice speaks through.

“Alpha?” Sun is shocked to say the least. “How did you get my number?” 

“I got it from Charoen. Listen, are you busy right now?” she practically begs.

“O-hh. Sorry, I am. Right now I’m helping my parents with the shop.”

“...I know you’re playing video games” Sun could almost see Alpha’s eyes squint. 

“How did you-?”

“You friended Aylin on the switch. She uses my nintendo account. I can see, and know, you’ve been playing Animal Crossing all day”. 

“...Okay yeah you got me” Sun admits defeat. 

“Well since that’s out of the way, can you come by my house? I need to talk to you about something”

“...I’m good,” Sun says cautiously. .

“Look, I promise I won’t yell at you. I just genuinely want to talk” Alpha says with so much desperation in her voice, Sun starts to feel bad for the older girl. 

“ *Sigh* . Fine. I’ll be there in like ten…maybe fifteen minutes.”

“Oh thank you. Thank you. See you in a bit” Alpha hangs up the phone. Sun gets up and changes her clothes. She greets her mother before going outside to start Sunny. After a small five minute drive, she reaches the Nannapat residence. She goes up and rings the doorbell.

“Sun! You’re here” Alpha opens the door wearing a smile on her face.

“You did call”

“I did. Thank you for coming.”

“No problem. Is. uh. Anyone else here?” Sun asks as she tries to look in the house.

“Don’t worry, no one else is here… and that includes Ongsa. I wanted to talk to you one on one today so I got Luna to pick up Aylin” she admits. 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Well come on in. I’ll get you something to drink” Alpha leads the girl inside the house and to the kitchen table. Alpha starts the teapot and quickly gets the other short girl a cup of tea. After giving her the drink, Alpha forces herself to start. 

“So… “

“So…?” Sun asks. 

“Tea’s fine, right?” 

“It’s fine but I don’t think that’s what you want to talk about. Spill it Alpha” 

“...Sorry how I acted last time” Alpha looks at the floor with her apology. Sun’s pity for the girl reaches a new high. 

“You don’t have to apologize. I know you’re having a hard time. You were dealing with so much back here, while I was stress free in America.”

“It was hard, but Charoen was right. You must have been in shock when you found out, and my outburst didn’t help with that.” Alpha says and starts to stare in her drink. “A part of me still blames you though. I still think you had a part pushing her to this. I heard your breakup wasn’t very nice.” Alpha admits and Sun is shocked. 

“It-It was…” Sun was put in a hard spot.

“You don’t have to tell me. That’s not why I called you here.” Alpha lets her off the hook. 

“Oh… Then why did you call?”

“I just wanted to know. Did you talk to Ongsa anytime this week?” Alpha asks. 

“...Why?” Sun starts to feel annoyed thinking back to that memory. 

“Well she never spends that much time here, especially when I’m here, but all of a sudden, in the middle of the week. Ongsa came home and spent time here while I was here..” Alpha exclaims. “She hasn’t done that in ages!”

“Maybe she ran out of girls to grift off of.” Sun bitterly jokes.

“No! I heard her cancel on the girl she was supposed to meet! She just came home and hung out in her room until she left for the night.!” Alpha talks as if she was the happiest she’s ever been. “Sure, she ignored me the entire time and left before Aylin was done with her club, but I saw more of her on that day than I did over the entire summer!” Sun winces at the comment. 

“Maybe she wasn’t feeling well?”

“I doubt it. She seemed fine to me, and she left so soon. Something probably got to her... So did you talk to her?” 

“Yeah I did.”

“When?”

“Last Wednesday”

“That’s when she stayed home.” Alpha eyes start to glitter. “Sun… you have to talk to her again”

“I don’t know-”

“Please! This is more progress than anyone has managed in the last year! You can at least figure out why she is acting like this. That would be a start”

“Alpha please I don-”

“Sun, please! Help me get my sister back.”

“Shut up!” Sun yells and Alpha stops talking. An awkward echo fills the room before Sun starts to talk again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell”

“It’s fine. I guess we are even now” Alpha jokes.

“Hmm. yeah” Sun pauses before talking again. “Alpha, I'm sorry but it hurts to talk to Ongsa. We met after she was in the bathroom with one of her girls, and we talked until she started hitting on me” Sun’s voice starts to crack at the memory. “She hit on me and spit on our relationship while doing so!” Sun feels like she is starting to tear up. “It hurt too much. I don’t know if I can manage to talk to her again”.

“...Alright” Sun looks at Alpha, surprised she gave in so easily, but the dark look in her eyes said it all. “I know you are hurting just as much seeing Ongsa like this, and if you say you can’t talk to her I understand. Just…” Alpha wants to continue, but her voice was already cracking. She tries to continue, but Sun takes a deep breath and cuts her off. 

“Look… I don't know when I can, or if it will help,...but I’ll try some sense into her,” Sun says.

“I thought you said you couldn’t”

“Yeah, but I see this is eating you up. After everything you went through, I think I can do this for you” Alpha speeds over and gives her a hug.

“Oh Thank you! Thank you, thank you” Alpha cries out and Sun reciprocates. Alpha stops after a bit and stumbles back. “Sorry. I’m getting worked up when there is no guarantee.” Alpha rubs her head embarrassed. 

“It’s fine. I’m glad it’s helping” Sun smiles. “Do you have a way to contact her?” 

“Nope. She blocked me on everything. We only talk with notes on the fridge” Alpha says. “What about you? Do you still have her number?”

“She blocked me too.” Sun tells her

“…So neither us have a way to talk to her”

“...Seems so”

“...” 

Chapter Text

Sun was filled with determination…sorta.

Honestly, she didn’t know if she was ready, but she was going to keep her promise with Alpha. She was going to talk to Ongsa!

Problem was, she was nowhere to be found!

Sun didn’t know Ongsa’s schedule, and any free time the girl seemed to have was spent doing things Sun would rather not think about. She never thought it would be so hard to find her when before she was avoiding her like the plague. A whole week passes and she doesn’t find a clue about the missing girl. She called Alpha to see if she caught her at home again, but the older girl has nothing. 

Sun had tried the other methods. She tried to message Ongsa on social media but she was blocked there too. She tried asking around, but the girls wouldn’t tell her and the guys didn’t know. Sun asked for Tinh’s and Charoen’s help, but they seemed reluctant that it would even work. She bet it was going to take forever, until Charoen messaged her. 

“Sun! Hurry to the cafeteria! Ongsa is here”. Sun thanks Charoen quickly before running off to the lunch table. Like an eagle, Sun searches through the lunchroom for her prey until she finds her, along with a bunch of parasites. 

Sun walks up to Ongsa, feeling more ashamed by the bait she planned to use.  

“Ongsa” 

“Sun?” Ongsa twitches a bit. “Do you need something?”

“Yeah, can we talk in private?” Sun asks and one other girl starts to whistle. 

“Damn it only took a couple weeks for her ex to come shoot her shot” one girl says to the group. 

“Nah. She probably just wants to slap me again,”Ongsa jokes but the other girls don’t take it as well. 

“She did what?” Some girls got furious and were about to start something before Ongsa signalled them to sit down. 

“Calm down guys. It’s fine. Now Sun, whatever you want to say, you can say it here." She challenges Sun. Sun was a bit lost for words. She didn’t want to have this conversation in front of these extras. Unsure of what to say, she panicked quickly and only thought of one thing.

Dear god, please let me think of another way. Sun was debating if this was worth her dignity or not.

…Well she was already this deep. 

“I was looking to take up your offer” Sun says and Ongsa looks surprised. 

“...Really?” Ongsa says, looking amused at Sun. “Well, I didn’t expect that. What changed your mind?” Ongsa leans forward and rests her head on her hands. 

“W-w-well I thought about it, and you were right” Sun says, almost tasting blood with each word.

“It was a waste. Might as well take you up on your offer. And besides” Sun gets closer to the table, fighting down the urge to vomit saying these words. “ I heard you’re pretty good” Sun was with a forced smile while the other girls hum in agreement. Ongsa seems a bit annoyed with Sun, but ultimately shrugs her shoulders. “Alright, but I’m busy today.” 

“That’s fine. I was gonna ask you to come to my house Saturday. My parents won’t be home~~” Sun forces a flirty tone. 

“Alright Sun, Saturday it is” 

“Great! Now unblock my number so I can tell you when to come” Sun claps her hands. “And we are all set. Byeeee Ongsa~” Sun says and leaves the lunch table without her dignity. All the girls whistle and gossip, while Ongsa keeps her stare on Sun as she leaves.  

…

Alpha was right about before. Ongsa was still more conscious of Sun than she let on. On the Friday before, Alpha called Sun to let her know Ongsa came home again. Apparently, she was putting on all the stops to look her best for Saturday. 

Thankfully, Sun’s parents were out of town this weekend. A small trip to her cousins which she happily declined, giving her the perfect opportunity to knock some sense back into Ongsa. Sun prepares to play the part as well. She got a short skirt that was a little above her knees, and one of her nicer t-shirts. She would have preferred to wear a little more, but that would look suspicious. 

Sun waits patiently in her living room, waiting for the doorbell…

And it was torture. 

Every second that passes is harder than the last. Sun’s hands were shaking while she waited. Her thoughts brew with actions that were quickly disregarded. She felt hopeless for Ongsa's arrival, if she even arrived. In the back of her head, she had a feeling Ongsa would cancel. 

*Ring Ring* 

Guess not. 

Sun gets up and stops herself from running to the doorbell. Instead she takes her time, to not let on any anticipation. She opened the door, and there was Ongsa. From her school uniform, she was wearing skinny jeans with a black short sleeved t-shirt underneath a denim jacket. Her hair was combed and straightened to perfection, and her makeup was minimal left her face looking 

“Sun” Ongsa calls out to her. Shit I was staring . 

“Ongsa! You finally came!” Sun puts on a fake cheery voice. “Come in, come in” 

“Are you sure you want to do it here? What about your parents?” 

“Oh they are out of town for the weekend, Remember? It’s just the two of us~” Sun coos. 

“Hmph. Nice. I like it when I don't have to worry about noise.” Ongsa says smugly, with Sun having a jump in her heart.  

“Oh don’t worry, we won’t be interrupted here. Now let’s go to-” Sun turns back and covers her eyes. Ongsa starts to undress, throwing her jacket to the ground and trying to take off her shirt before Sun takes her hands to stop her. 

“Woah Woah Woah. Just because no one is home doesn't mean I want to do it in my living room” Sun chastises her and Ongsa rolls her eyes. “C’mon. Let’s go to my room~” Ongsa raises an eyebrow to this but shrugs her shoulders. 

“...Fine” Ongsa shrugs and follows her. 

“Also, we’re not in the stone age. Pick up your jacket. ” Ongsa snorted. 

“Alright, alright.” Ongsa does just that and follows Sun to her room. They both enter the room.  While Ongsa puts her down, Sun takes out a key to lock the door and then hides it in a drawer. “Weird you wanna do it on Cinderella bed sheets, but I guess it won’t- *smack*” Ongsa is suddenly smacked. Sun knew that Ongsa was probably stronger than her, but she was confident that Ongsa wouldn’t fight back against her. “Ouch! What the hell? Is this your fetish or something?” Ongsa asks in the same obnoxiously mocking tone of voice. 

“What the hell happened?” 

“You smacked me?” 

“No, no that. What happened to you? What happened to my girlfriend?” Sun pleads to the older girl, making Ongsa laugh to herself. 

“ *snort* I had a feeling you were lying. Let me guess. Is this some pep talk? Did Alpha put you up to this?”.

“No, this is all me.” 

“Ohh wow, I didn’t know you were still so interested in me~ It’s not too late to stop and I’ll show you-” 

“Oh my god! Can you just stop!” Sun yells at Ongsa. “Answer my fucking questions” Ongsa gets closer to Sun, but this time Sun doesn’t back down. Ongsa however, did not look amused. 

“No” Ongsa rolls her eyes and pushes Sun to the side before trying to leave the room. Ongsa struggles to open the door before realizing it’s hopeless. “Your room locks with a key?” Ongsa asks, genuinely surprised. “Where is it?” 

“None of your business.” 

“You think I can’t leave? I’ve left through windows before”

“Wow! You have, huh? Your mom must be so proud!” Sun sarcastically says and Ongsa felt a nerve getting struck. “Now. Are you gonna answer my questions?” 

“Sure.” Ongsa raises one finger. “ One, we aren’t dating anymore. You broke up with me, remember? So why the hell is this any of your business?” Ongsa shoots back. “And two, I found something I’m good at. What’s it to you?” 

“So you sleep with every girl you see because you’re good at it? Do you really expect me to believe your bullshit?” 

“It’s the truth. Why shouldn’t I do it? All the girls want me, so why can’t I indulge?” 

“They think of you as a piece of meat. Don’t act like they like you that much” 

“Oh trust me…They do,” Ongsa says with a bit of spite in her voice. “If I really wanted to, I could have replaced you like that.” 

“Well nice to know any girl you date is just a replacement for me.” Sun says, starting to feel even angrier. 

“Again, why do you care? We aren’t dating anymore" 

“It doesn’t matter. Even if we didn’t date I would have been concerned about your behavior” 

“Says the one who has been avoiding me” Ongsa says and Sun looks surprised. “I’m not stupid Sun. You were fine with just ignoring me, and now you are trying to pretend to care.” Ongsa tightens her fist. “And all of a sudden you come here to what? Fix me? I’m fine the way I am” 

“Don’t lie to me Ongsa. No one changes as much as you did in one year.” Sun looks down a bit, struggling to look at Ongsa for a moment. “D-did I do this to you?” Sun asks. Ongsa was surprised again but still tries to hold her ground. 

“Yes.” Ongsa says and Sun feels like she’s falling into a blackhole.. “Is that what you wanted to hear? Oh yeah, since I couldn’t date you, I decided to rebel and stick it to you. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Ongsa yells. 

“Shut. Up” Sun grits her teeth. “I just want one fucking answer” 

“Tsk. Can’t believe I wasted time on this. I could have been fingers deep in some other girl but all I’m getting is a headache” Ongsa says out of spite. 

“Don’t be crude. I know you were excited for this. You took all of yesterday to make yourself look good for me.” Sun said confidently back. 

“Ohh? Do I have a stalker?”

“Alpha told me” 

“Of course she did, fucking bit-” Sun hits the top of her drawer to stop Ongsa. 

“Don’t you dare insult your sister. She’s worried about you and you don't even care enough to let her know you’re fine.” 

“Well if you like her so much, why don’t you date her instead?” Ongsa tries to goad her. 

“Why don’t you just be a good sister?”

“I’m not doing anything to her. If anything, she was the one who was being a pain in the-”

“She is trying to protect you”

“I’m old enough to protect myself”  

“Ohhhh, grown up huh? You’re not even out of high school. Do you know any woman who thinks you’re old enough for this type of shit?” 

“I know a few,” Ongsa said, almost emotionless. 

“...” Sun didn’t know what to say to that. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Ongsa teases but her exterior starts to break when she sees Sun start to cry. 

“Ongsa!” Sun bursted out crying. Even the rigid playgirl persona started to crack at the sight. “Please! I know you're hurt. I know this isn’t you. I want to help! Please! Let me know what happened” Ongsa doesn’t move to comfort the girl, but she doesn’t have anything to say. It’s been a while since she felt bad seeing a crying girl. 

“...Fine” Ongsa gives in. “If it means so much to you, then sure I’ll tell you, but just so you know.” Ongsa sits next to Sun and looks at her. “ It won’t make you feel better ”. 

Chapter Text

A Parent’s Truth

Ongsa rested her head on her bed. The summer was almost about to end, and the second year of high school was about to start for her. It’s been two months, or exactly sixty four days since Sun left for the US, and even longer since they’ve broken up. It’s also been a month since her father left for his new job, which was just as hard on her. As much as Ongsa loved that her father was happy his new job, she missed him more than ever. Now, her mother was going to join him, to give him support since he was all by himself. 

Mom’s about to leave…Just like Sun and Dad did… The worst of her mind let slip into her thoughts. She gets up and starts to pace around her room, trying to clear her head. While pacing around her room to help, her overthinking was starting to power over it. 

Screw this… I want to talk to Mom… Ongsa thinks. Despite their previous fighting, she still loved her mother, and her mother came around to her sexuality and let her date Sun. Just once before she left, she wanted the comfort of her mother again. 

She walked to her parents room. Before entering, she heard a conversation seep through the small crack in the door. She stays out of sight of the creek, but stands close to hear what they are talking about. 

“Alright that was the last of my clothing” the older woman relaxes on top of her bed. “You three should be fine. Your father will send allowances to all three of you. We will handle the bills so don't worry about that, but if you need more money for food and whatnot let us know” 

“Okay mom” Alpha says.

“And Alpha, please help Ongsa with her… break up. ” the older woman says with disgust. 

“She is…” Alpha struggles to say her next sentence. “...Mom. Are you sure you can’t stay just a little bit longer” she asks desperately. 

“Sorry sweetie, but I should be there for your Dad when he starts to settle.”

“But Ongsa. I don’t know how to help her” 

“Get some of her friends. That Charoen girl could probably help get her head on straight, unlike that Tinh-”

“Mom” Alpha cuts her off. 

“You guys don’t like me saying it, but you have to see I was right about it. It was unnatural to begin with. I would have made her cut it off instantly if it wasn't for your dad.” she admits. “He honestly spoils her. To let her live like a degenerate. “ she spits like venom. “If it wasn’t for her hospitalizing herself over the matter, or your father arguing with me I still would have fought her about it”

Alpha stares silently 

“And look what happened. They broke up, and now she is heartbroken. If she listened to what I told her, she wouldn’t be sad about something that was impossible to begin with” her mother continued to chatter on and on, and Ongsa’s head started to ring.

“Alpha” she snaps out of it. “Don’t make the same mistake as your sister” she warns her. Alpha doesn’t say anything, just shakes her head as a form of appeasement. 

“Good. At least if your sister doesn’t leave this little phase in her life, I could say I raised one daughter right” she heads to the bathroom. “I’m gonna use the bathroom before I leave. Tell Aylin and your sister to meet me in the living room before I leave” she points to the door before entering her bathroom. Alpha stands there motionless for a bit. Ongsa does the same, until it starts to set in. 

She wanted to cry. She really did, but after months of doing it prior, she didn’t have the energy to do it right now. 

All she does is run back to her room and act like she was doing anything else. Any feeling of sadness she pushes down, knowing it was unsafe to show. She continued to wait, until she had to say goodbye to her mother. 

When the time comes, she manages to put on a small act to hide her hurt. Her mother didn’t seem to notice. Maybe Ongsa was good at it, or maybe her mother didn’t want to look too hard at her. It was hard to tell for Ongsa, and she wouldn’t know as her mother walks out the door, leaving an uncomfortable void in her and the house. 

Struggles At Star Academy 

“Ongsa!” Alpha yells. She had just gotten home later from her college classes early, right after an interesting phone call and email from Star Academy. “Are you joking with this?” she slams down a print out of Ongsa’s grades. 

Single digit scores on her test and straight up zeros on her homeworks. From a stranger’s perspective, it would look like the grade report of a delinquent, but it was far from the truth with the sorry sight Alpha had in front of her. 

Ongsa looked like a walking corpse. Her skin was getting pale from hiding in her room most of the day. Her hair was frazzled and unkept, and her eyes were constantly red with bags underneath to complement them. 

She was getting skinny again, dangerously so just like her first breakup with Sun, and just like before she had to be taken to the hospital. Her new teachers didn’t seem to think much about the quiet girl until they heard the news. The hospitalization made them give her some leeway, but without change they had to contact her current guardian. 

Ongsa looked up, her expression didn’t change. She just looks Alpha in the eye, with an already defeated look.

“Well?” Alpha continued to yell, hoping for some reaction from Ongsa, but the girl didn't have any. 

“...Sorry” Ongsa finally mutters.

“Sorry isn’t going to help you graduate high school” Alpha continues to chastise her. Her head swirls with dozens of other things to say, but ultimately she chooses to sit down with Ongsa.

“Ongsa” she starts. “Are you still sad about the breakup?”  

“...”

“Look, Ongsa. I get she was your first big breakup, and you are allowed to be sad about it, but don’t ruin your life over it” Alpha tries to explain. “Please, put back some effort into your school…Into your life” Alpha starts to get louder. “You asked me to give you space, but you’re letting yourself die out here”

“...”

“Ongsa. Say something” Alpha ask her. 

“...I’m sorry Alpha”

“If you’re sorry, you’ll eat something and then get started on your homework.”

“I can’t-I don’t understand it.” Ongsa explains. “I haven’t…”

“You haven’t been paying attention to your classes, right?” Alpha rhetorically asks. “I don’t have too much time these days, but I will try and help. It's only the second month of school. If we plan it out well, we can get through it within a week or two” Alpha smiles at her sister. “Sounds good?”

“Y-yeah” Ongsa says weakly and nods her head.

“Good. And soon maybe I can have my old sister back” she pats her head before going to get food for her.

Alpha tries her best to help. Ongsa wasn’t the perfect student, and her enthusiasm to improve herself was nonexistent. Her grades weren’t as good as her first year, but she was far from the failing student that she predicted. By November, her recent grades were leaps and bounds from what they were…meaning she was borderline. Even with this progress, everyone was skeptical about Ongsa staying this way. 

Alpha had asked everyone else what to do about it, and made a group chat asking for their suggestions. 

Dating

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She should start dating again - Tinh

It’s the only way 

That sounds like a horrible idea - Alpha

Yeah, the reason she’s like this is bcs she just had a breakup. Dating someone else seems like it would lead to the same shit. - Chareon. 

Well before she started doing more bcs of a girl. Maybe another one will help her start feeling better - Tinh 

It’s not a horrible idea, and it won’t be that hard. Ongsa doesn't look as bad as before, so she could probably still pull - Luna. 

Do you have to word it like that? - Alpha

But Human Luna has a point - Aylin 

Yeah she used to be a hit with other girls in her year, and even then we can try and look around for someone nice for her. - Luna 

Ugh. If she does start to date again, can you guys make sure they’re with good people, and not people who want to kill her or something - Alpha

With a bar that low, that shit will be easy - Tinh 

Can’t believe you guys are going with Tinh’s plan - Chareon

It will work out four eyes, don’t worry - Tinh 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sorry. It’s not working out”. Ongsa was still not used to hearing those words, but it didn’t feel as bad as it did the first time. Even with two previous relationships under her belt, dating was still new to her. 

“It’s like you don’t even like me…”

That still hurts, no matter how many times she hears it. 

“Oh-h-h…I-I’m sorry” Ongsa says, pushing down her urge to cry. 

“It’s fine. I guess we aren’t a match, or maybe dating isn’t your thing” the other girl offers. “I don’t know… It just feels like you aren’t even trying” I swear I am…

“Again I’m sorry…. Sorry I wasted your time” Ongsa said. The other girl, still a bit stunned, left some money and got up from her seat. Ongsa didn’t want to stay at the restaurant they were at, so she called over the waiter and paid her part as well before leaving. She thoughtlessly walked home, eyes to the ground and shoulders all slumped, a sad sight for the middle of the day. 

Immediately she goes into her home, walking past Alpha and Aylin before heading to her room and diving head first into her bed. 

Alpha and Aylin look at each other and sigh at another failed attempt.

“Charoen was right. We probably shouldn’t have pushed things” Alpha said.

“Yes. Human cousin is back to being sad”

“At least she is still keeping her grades up, but I think we need to slow down on the dating stuff” Alpha turns to her phone. “We should let the others know so they don’t bring it up to her” Aylin nods her head and they text the group. 

Meanwhile, Ongsa felt like she was being hit by a truck. Her weekend just started, and she already felt dead. She dived head first into her bed and lied there for the comfort that it always brought her… 

But this time it didn’t. 

The more she spent time in her room, the more she began to despite it. All the helplessness, the uselessness, all the lousiness. All it felt like it festered here. Ongsa got up and looked around. Her computer, her TV, her books. All there to help her escape from her horrible life. Her room was just just a hideaway hole, where she can spend all her time while nothing in her life got better. 

No…

She swears she wasn’t going to spend the rest of the day like this. She gets up and goes for a shower. She makes sure her face is clean and dresses up a bit before going for a walk. As she goes downstairs, she is stopped by her sister.

“Where are you going?" Alpha ask. 

“I’m going for a walk”

“Are you sure? I thought you wanted to rest in your room?”

“I… I just want some fresh air.” Ongsa comes up with. “I don’t feel like staying in my room right now”

“Ongsa. I get it. But are you sure right now it’s a good time to go when you are feeling…”

“I…I want to go out for a while. Clear my head. Sitting in my room all day doesn’t really help with that” 

“Alright. But be safe and make sure your phone is with you and charged” Alpha reminds her. “If you don’t want to walk home, I can pick you up with the car” Alpha tells her.

“Okay. Thank you Alpha” she says. She checks her phone in front of her sister and shows it’s fully charged. Her sister nods at her and Ongsa goes out, choosing one direction and walks forward.

One step after the other, Ongsa wasn’t sure what she was trying to accomplish here. Her head felt like it was eating itself from the inside, and all the fresh air in the world wasn’t going to help. She kept walking unconsciously, until she stopped at it. 

The park.

Ongsa walked around a bit. Admiring the seesaw, the small slides, the swings…

She goes to sit down on them, and harsh memories start to flood back.

The memory of hurting her when Earth couldn’t come to her birthday. 

The memory of her saying she wanted to get to know Ongsa better. 

The memory…the last memory of her. As she gave back her bracelet after their big fight and left for America. 

Ongsa starts to tear up.

Her hands quickly come to her defense and discard her tears to the side. 

“Hello?” Ongsa looks up embarrassed, to see an older woman looking down at her.

“O-h-hh. Sorry.”

“No no, it’s okay” the lady smiles down at her. “I came over to make sure you are okay?”

“O-h-h-hh.. Yeah I’m fine” Ongsa tries to convince her.

“Are you sure? It looked like you were crying your eyes out a second ago” 

“Y-y-yeah… It’s just…It’s been a lot”

“Oh? Breakup?” she guesses.

“Yeah I guess” Ongsa shrugs her shoulders. “That and a lot of other stuff”

“Hmm. The worst part of life. Mountain of problems and no shoulder to lie on, huh?” 

“I-I have… But I feel like I’m causing problems for them. They keep trying but I still feel like I’m in a rut. I don’t feel myself getting better, and I feel worse for letting them down…” Ongsa starts to spill, surprised at herself from what's coming out of her mouth.

“Awww. Poor thing. Got a lot on your mind” the old woman looks at her like she won a prize. “How about this, I could use some company as well. Why don’t I take you out somewhere else”

“I-I don’t know”

“Oh c’mon. You don’t want to trouble your friends right? After this, we probably won’t see each other again. You can unload all your problems onto me, and I’ll listen, and after today we won’t see each other again so we can’t trouble me”

“That-that sounds nice” Ongsa stutters. She gets up and walks with the older woman, unaware of the hunter’s eyes that follow behind her. 

The Morning After

Ongsa’s been awake for a while. She sneaked off in the bathroom for what seems like forever ago and just stared at the mirror for as long as she could.

It still didn’t feel real to her.

She looked over her body, her clothes were left in the other room. Bite marks and small bruises were left all over. 

Looking at them over and over, Ongsa felt more sick by the second looking at herself.

If she didn’t cry her heart out earlier, she definitely would have done so now. Only a couple of tears came out before the well ran dry. Ongsa knew that it was a blessing in disguise. Any noise would be detrimental, and if she cried like before the woman would wake up. 

But to every god she knew of she wanted to right now.  

The other woman was left in the other room, sleeping after she was satisfied. Ongsa didn’t want to wake her, scared of even talking to her. The very thought of it makes her hands shake. 

She sneaks out, making sure she is quiet to take her clothes that were scattered around. The hoodie she wore contained her phone and wallet. She puts everything back on, and checks her phone.

It was the next day. Alpha spammed her phone with calls and messages. Ongsa responded with a quick lie, saying she was hanging out with Deer and spent the night at her house. Alpha continues to yell through the phone at Ongsa, telling her to let her know in advance and she was out last night looking for her.

Another problem I caused… 

Ongsa tells her that she knows the way home so Alpha could go to college. Alpha agrees but tells Ongsa they’re gonna have a conversation about this later. She knew it was going to be more scolding, and Ongsa felt like she deserved it…

Ongsa struggles to get home, running in a straight line before not recognizing her surroundings until she finally comes back to the park where the two met.

She continues to run back home, only looking at the park once with a fiery hatred in her eyes. 

Finally home, she comes back to an empty house. No one was worried where she was. This should be fine? She didn’t worry anyone! No one would be nagging or looking to fix a problem that everyone swore was impossible!

It would just be something she kept to herself. 

As long as she keeps it to herself, no one will care, no one will pretend to care, no one will bother her about it. It would be fine.

The only thing Ongsa had to do was to act like it never happened. 

hOw HarD wAs ThAt?

Domestic Disturbance

Alpha was tired. Despite not doing the bare minimum at college to come home as early as she could, it’s still a lot more work than high school ever was. With all that and struggling to keep on top of what Ongsa has been doing, Alpha realized why typically one parent stays at home. 

Recently it’s all been schoolwork and studying for Alpha. She hasn’t seen the others in a while, and rarely has she even checked her phone. 

Still, things were looking up for her sister. Despite a couple of scares, Ongsa seems to be more active. Going out with new people she met. Still doing better in high school, despite some calls about her skipping. 

Things were on the up and up, and Alpha planned to do something nice for her sister after her class was cancelled.

We could go to a fried chicken place… But we order food pretty often. Maybe we could try and cook some… But Ongsa sucks at cooking… at least it would be funny.

Alpha continuously thinks about what to do today with her sister as she heads back home. She opens the door and is about to call for her sister before she hears noises echoing from the upstairs to the downstairs. The floor upstairs shook, causing the ceiling to creek. Sounds from Ongsa and another girl… that made Alpha feel like throwing up. 

After the realization, Alpha went on autopilot. 

She stomps up there and yells to her heart's content. The random girl was filled with fear, hurting to put on her clothes to run away from the monster yelling at her, all while Ongsa looked annoyed. Alpha didn’t care what her sister thought of her right now. She successfully chased the girl out. While Ongsa looked like she was about to say something, Alpha left the room, waiting downstairs to talk while Ongsa dressed herself.

“Alpha! What the hell?” Ongsa stomps up to her sister. 

“What the hell? Are you serious? You think you can bring some random girl here and do…that to them?”

“Why not? You guys suggested to me to start dating again?”

“That’s- That’s not dating and you are too young for that”

“Oh screw off” Ongsa says, getting more annoyed. “Just because you never done it before doesn’t mean I can’t”

“What- How dare you!” Alpha starts to get furious. “That’s not the reason and you know it!” 

“Sure, sure. Totally not insecure about it whats so ever” Ongsa rolls her eyes. 

“Oh sure. I’m really jealous between you and, what’s her name” Alpha ask and Ongsa shrugs her shoulders. “Oh, and you don’t even know her name?”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever?” Alpha questions her. “Since when did you talk to me like that?” she asked but Ongsa just rolled her eyes.

“What are you going to do about it? You’re not Mom, you’re not Dad. You can’t tell me what to do!”

“I wouldn’t have to if you acted like you had any sense.”

“Fuck off. I know what I’m doing”

“Now you sound like every other teenager” Alpha sarcastically replies. “Wait! You didn’t have any boys-”

“No. Much to Mom’s dismay, I still like girls, so I won’t be getting pregnant anytime soon” Ongsa continues her sarcastic streak.

“Ongsa…You can’t be mad at mom forever for that” Alpha tries to calm her down. “She eventually-”

“She didn’t eventually do shit!” Ongsa yells. “I heard you two talk before she left. I know she still doesn’t accept me.” Alpha’s face turns pale. “And it was even worse! She’s disgusted by me. Called me a degenerate. The only reason she let me do what I want was because Dad would’ve left” Ongsa tears up a bit. “So what? I can’t be mad at her for that? Cause right now I still think I can be plenty mad at her for this”

“So that’s what this is huh? You getting back at Mom for that” 

“No! I don’t care about that bitch anymore” Ongsa gets closer to Alpha.

“So then what is this? Are you getting back at S-?” Alpha says and Ongsa felt a pit in her stomach.

“Don’t you fucking go there” Ongsa growls.

“Why not? It seems like I’m right.” Alpha yells. “Is this what it is? Trying to prove something? Waiting for her to come back to get back at her”

“No. I’m not” Ongsa glares at her sister like she was her worst enemy. 

She stomps to her room. They didn’t talk for the rest of the night, and when the next day came they both acted like it never happened. But they both knew the truth. It happened, and it was going to keep happening. 

“You can’t keep doing this!” Alpha yells at Ongsa, who was currently sitting on the couch with disheveled clothing. “This is our house. We live here. You, Me, and Aylin. Don’t you think about the two of us.”

“Oh please. Aylin is with Luna most of the day and you’re at college most of the time. Don’t act like this is an inconvenience.” Ongsa rebuttals. 

“And why do you think Alyin is always out?”

“Maybe because she also doesn’t want to hear your constant yelling and has somewhere else to go?” Ongsa sarcastically replies.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to hear you and your friends make a mess of this house?” 

“Like what she and Luna are probably doing right now?” Ongsa smirks. “Don’t make it sound like Aylin wasn’t looking for every excuse to hang out with Luna when she could.”

“Don’t talk about Aylin like that” Alpha glares at her Ongsa. “And even if she hangs out at Luna’s, that doesn’t make this your house. God” Alpha holds her head. “Ongsa. I’m tired of fighting you on this.”

“Then don’t. You’re the only one making a fuss” 

“Why can’t you just act normal?”

“Normal?”

“Yes! Normal. Act your age, and not like a whore” Alpha yells and Ongsa gets up. 

“Don’t call me that!” Ongsa points at her. For the first time, Alpha felt threatened by Ongsa. 

Still, that didn’t stop her.

“Why not? You’re acting like one. God if dating was going to cause all this, I would’ve…”

“What would you have done? Acted like mom?”

“Honestly, I would have!” Alpha yells and Ongsa takes a step back. Alpha’s adrenaline blocks her from seeing the pained look on her sister’s face. Ongsa turns and leave the house.

“Where are you going?” 

“Out”

“Are you coming back?”

“Am I even welcomed back?”

“Not if you keep bringing girls over”

“Fine! Guess I’m not coming back” Ongsa leaves, with Alpha thinking little of the threat. She sits down at the dining room table to think it over. Only after calming down did she realize what Ongsa heard. 

She was right about you…

Was all Ongsa heard from that? Alpha holds her head down in shame, struggling on what to do.

What could she do?

Run after Ongsa? She probably hates her right now. She probably ran as far as she could just to be away from Alpha. 

Call for her parents. Alpha knew if she told them, they would kill Ongsa. Her little sister was already on thin ice with their mother, and the older woman would have definitely used Ongsa’s actions to justify her hatred to their dad. She couldn’t call them, she would lose Ongsa more than she already did. 

Her friends? She knew Tinh and Charoen didn’t talk to her anymore, and Alpha didn’t know who Ongas hung out with these days.

Waiting… That was all she could do. Ongsa couldn’t stay out for more than a night. She would have to come home… eventually

Compromise Appeasement

Alpha hated the sight in front of her. 

Ongsa looked different. 

Wearing clothes she’s never seen. Wearing makeup Alpha never owned. Wearing a look that her sister would have never worn before. 

The person in front of her barely felt like her sister, but the reality of the matter was that she was. And it took months of searching to find her, and a lot of harassment to get her to agree to finally get to talk to her sister. 

“You wanted to talk, Alpha? You sure took your time finding me” Ongsa smugly said.

“I-I didn’t know where to find you…” Alpha says like a small animal. “Charoen and Tinh said you skipped class when they tried to talk to you, and when school ended I-”

“I don’t care to hear an explanation,” Ongsa spat out. “What do you want?”

“I want you to come home” 

“Home?” Ongsa looks at her confused. “Why would I?”

“Cause Aylin and I miss you”

“I doubt it” Ongsa looks down at Alpha even more. “Where is Aylin?”

“I didn’t want her to come just in case we fought” 

“She’s grown. I’m sure she’s fine.”

“She misses her cousin,” Alpha pleads. “But if you won’t act like it then-”

“Act like what?” Ongsa starts to be aggressive.

“Nothing…nothing” Alpha gives up that conversation. “I don’t want to fight. I just want you to come home”

“Why would I?”

“Don’t you miss sleeping in a bed? Where have you been all this time?”

“Sleeping in other beds” Ongsa spitefully returns, watching her sister squirm. 

“Don’t you miss your own”

“I hate it, actually” 

“...” 

“So was that all?” Ongsa ask. She was about to get up, but Alpha pleaded with her.

“Fine! You don’t have to sleep there. Just come back once in a while. Please?” 

Ongsa chuckles at this.

“Why?”

“I just need you to know this is your home too” Alpha tries to calm her down. “You aren’t kicked out. You have a place here”

“I don’t want a place there”

“Please Ongsa… I’m begging you” Alpha almost tears up. Ongsa’s heart almost lights up with joy, before kicking herself with a realization.

She’s not like mom, not yet at least… 

“I’ll come back when I want. How about that?”

“At least once a week. Whenever you want, just write a note or something when you are here so I know that you were home”

“Fine” Ongsa gets up and starts to walk off.

“You aren’t going to come home tonight”

“No… I have plans with someone else” 

The First Day

Ongsa’s first day of school, and she was already regretting that summer was over.

Although she had her new posse, it was going to be harder for the girl to balance her time between all her new friends and school. Plus there was the problem of her old friends, but they clearly gave up on her, making it easy for Ongsa to ignore them. 

She came earlier than she expected. The lack of sleep must have played into it, but at this point she was used to it. Ongsa seems to be a bit more famous than she remembered. First day and already girls were shooting her sweet looks, and others glaring holes at her. 

Being the center of attention, right now she wanted to be somewhere else. Her and all her friends went to the bleachers, far away from the front of the school to sit and relax. 

Her and all her new friends converse. She doesn’t care for half of what they say, but at least she had company who adored her. A couple of minutes pass, and already someone comes up to them. It was only a matter of time before one of her onlookers comes up close and tries to shoot her shot.

Ongsa smiles. She sees how the girl looks at her. She knew she could get away with speeding up progress with her. One deep kiss now, and she would have the girl in the palm of her hands.

And she did. The girl gave her number and ran off, but Ongsa knew she would be back for more. All she could do now is hope the girl didn’t catch any feelings, an opinion she voiced to the rest of her friends. When the bell rang, she told everyone to get up so they could go to class. As she got up quicker than the others, she looked down…

And saw a face she thought had faded, thoughts that hadn’t plagued her head, and memories that she hadn’t replayed for months. 

Sun

They looked at each other, and Ongsa could see some hurt in Sun’s eyes.

Ongsa didn’t understand herself right now. 

What was she feeling? 

Anger?

Resentment?

Disgust?

Fear? 

JOy?!.

Whatever it was, Ongsa didn’t care for it right now. While she knew Sun fell to the floor, probably embarrassing herself just as Ongsa had once done when the two first met, she didn’t want to look back. 

She just kept moving forward, not looking back, scared of what might happen if she did. Scared that everything will start coming back.

But old habits, even the ones you hate the most, are hard to break.

Chapter Text

“...” Sun looked speechless at Ongsa. “Oh my god” she says. 

“I told you. It wouldn’t make you feel better” Ongsa shrugs her shoulders. “But hey, at least now you know what happened, and that it wasn’t your fault.”

“Wha- When did that matter?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted to know? “Did I do this to you?” “ Ongsa mocks Sun’s earlier words. “Well now you know you didn’t. So let me leave” Ongsa goes and bangs on the door.

“...I know I said that, but whether it was or wasn’t doesn’t change the fact I want to help you”

“You have no obligation to now, except whatever bullshit promise you made to Alpha”

“Ongsa…” Sun says, starting to tear up.

“Oh no no no.” Ongsa says like a scolding partner. “Stop it. Don’t do this.” She tries to command, but it comes out more of a plea.

“Why not?! I can’t be sad for you?! I can’t feel for you? What you went through was horrible! And you want me to what? Let you leave?”

“Yeah! Why do you care more than me? I’m fine. I’m happy. I live my-”

“Ongsa!” Sun yells with a stream of tears falling from her face. “You’re not okay!”

“...”

“You were sexually assu-”

“Don’t” Ongsa stops Sun. Her breathing noticeably increased, and the shakiness in her movements were noticeable even to a distraught Sun. Sun felt it, that Ongsa was dead-set on not letting her finish the sentence. 

“...I’m sorry. I won’t say it if you’re not comfortable. But you will have to talk about it” Sun puts to her bluntly. 

“I don’t care, just don’t say it”

“For now, fine, but still. Ongsa.” Sun gets a little closer and grabs Ongsa’s sleeve. “Why won’t you get help?” 

“Why can’t you mind your own business?!” Ongsa yells back, causing Sun to recoil. “I don’t need anyone’s help. Call me a whore or whatever you or Alpha or the rest of you like to say behind my back, at least I’m better now. I’m not some pathetic bitch mopping in my room while everyone tries to fix parts of me they don’t understand! All their attempts never helped me, and just bothered them. Ohhh, but now that I finally found a way to fix myself, to live my life, to feel better, and you guys give me shit for it. Why do you guys care so much? Why do you have to judge me for it? Why can’t you just leave me alone!” Ongsa cries out to Sun’s room.

“...”

“Huh?”

“I won’t” Sun says with some resolve. “I won’t leave you alone. Not anymore”

“Of course you will. You did it before… God” Ongsa holds her head. “Why did you have to come back? Why didn’t you just stay in America? Didn’t you love it there?”

“Staying there wasn’t my dream! I just wanted to travel, see the world before I became bogged down by my parent’s business. Don’t make it sound it was my only goal in life"

“It sounded like it. After all, it costed us,” Ongsa emphasizes.

“Hmph. With how you speak about it, I thought you didn’t care for what we had before” Sun says bitterly. 

“...”

“But you’re right”

“...!”

“I’m sorry for how I acted before I left. I was obsessed with having everything my way and I acted rash. I said words I didn’t mean, I acted in a way that was toxic, and I broke up without considering you. I wanted to have both you and my dream with no compromises, and in the end I didn’t really get either.” Sun looks down. 

“What do you mean? I thought you said it was fine”

“It wasn’t! It was a nightmare, Ongsa!” Sun emphasizes. “I felt bad about what I did. I unfollowed you, blocked you, and stopped talking to everyone here so I didn’t have to remember it. I spent all my time doing everything I could to not think about you, and the moment I did I would feel sick to my stomach! I even went on dates thinking there was no way I could fix us, but in the end I couldn’t move on after what I did, and there was no one as good as you there. Not for me” 

“...”

“Maybe we could have done long distance, or maybe you or I could have visited each other… But what I did sealed our fate… I’m sorry Ongsa” 

“...” Ongsa was lost for words. 

“Nothing?”

“...You didn’t need to apologize,” Ongsa says like a sheep. 

“Yes I did,” Sun says resolutely.

“Your apology isn’t going to change anything” Ongsa sneers. 

“Even if it doesn’t, eventually my words and I will get through to you”

“Stop saying that.” Ongsa sits and covers her face with her hands. “...God, even though you left before, I believe you. You’re so fucking stubborn” Ongsa complains

“Then stop” 

“Out of all the people, why you?” Ongsa says, not listening to Sun. “Ever since we talked, it’s been harder to do this, and now you’re saying all this” Ongsa mutters, but Sun hears anyway.

“Then stop. This isn’t you Ongsa”

“It is now”

“It doesn’t have to be. You can go back to how you were before.”

“What? When my mom hated me and I didn’t even know? When I was blissfully in a relationship that was apparently destined to end, and I was too weak to deal with any of it.” Ongsa waves her off. “Give me a break”

“Even with all that, at least you were happier back then”

“I'd rather be miserable and then go back to being that pathetic!"

“Look” Sun gets closer to Ongsa again. “I’m not saying that things will go back to the way they were. What happened last year… It happened. No matter how much I wished it hadn’t. Things have changed, and it hasn’t been for the better…but we can work towards fixing it” Sun tells her. 

“...”

“You talk about the bad, but what about Tinh and Chareon? What about Aylin? Did they do anything bad to you? Don’t you realize how much they miss you”

“...”

“If everyone heard about what happened to you, they would be devastated. Do you even have someone in your life right now to even worry about you like that”

“...”

“What about your dad?” Sun ask Ongsa, and that one made her shake. “You can get better. For them. For your friends, your family, and if you care about me just a little bit… for me too?” 

As Ongsa ponders this, her phone starts to ring. Ongsa takes it out, and sees the names of some random girls. Sun looks at the phone and sees several different names, and messages her with flirty text. Sun knew If Ongsa answered the phone, she would go back. Her words would be worthless, and Ongsa’s addiction would take over again. 

“Don’t” Sun begs.

“Sun, this is-”

“Please” Sun says, preparing to even get on her knees for this. “Don’t. I’m begging” Sun’s tears barely flow, striking the last nail in the coffin.

Ongsa looks down and silences her phone. She puts it back in her pocket, and starts to turn back to Sun. Before she could turn the full way, Sun goes in for a hug, crushing Ongsa with all her might.

“Thank you! Thank you!” Sun cries out.

“...It’s nothing, Sun” Ongsa says, and Sun could almost hear her old girlfriend in those words. 

“Well if that was nothing… How about staying one weekend at your home”

“Sun. I think that’s pushing it”

“I’ll come with you!” Sun gets up. “I can pack right now and I’ll stay over with you, Alpha, and Aylin.” 

“That’s… that’s a lot. I don’t know if-”

“I’ll help. I’ll do it with you. Whenever Alpha tries to talk with you, I’ll be by your side. If they give you shit, I’ll help you” 

“...I’ll try,” Ongsa tells her. “I’m not promising to do whatever… but I’ll go…if it makes you feel better” Ongsa concedes. “But if I hate it, I’m leaving”

“I promise, you’ll come back and you’ll love it” Sun turns around and starts to pack immediately. Ongsa only smiles timidly at her enthusiasm. 

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Ongsa tells Sun, trying to ease any future disappointment.

“Oh I would. Trust me.” After Sun throws a couple of outfits and necessities into a backpack and puts it on her back.

“Alright, let’s take you home Ongsa”