Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bella was frantically scanning the crowded streets ahead, where hundreds, no, thousands of people wandered up the cobblestones of Volterra. 

Alice was honking the horn unrelentingly, people dodging out of her way as she avoided others who didn’t move in time. 

“Why are they all in red?” Bella gritted out. Her gaze was rabid, her face tense, her hands almost covering her eyes as Alice glanced at her quickly. A small child had just been pulled out from in front of the bright yellow Porsche.

“San Marcos Day Festival,” Alice said, shaking her head in annoyance. “They’re commemorating the expulsion of vampires from the city. It’s the perfect setting. The Volturi will never let him get far enough to reveal himself”.

If Bella wasn’t so desperate to get to Edward, to stop him, she might have noted the almost impressed tone to Alice’s remarks. Her brother had planned exceptionally well - but not well enough to thwart her.

The clock flicked over to 11:55 on the dashboard. 

“We have five minutes!” Bella gasped out, sounding almost on the verge of tears. 

“You know, Bella, just breathe,” Alice said calmly. She knew it would turn out okay, or that it was at least incredibly unlikely that it wouldn’t. 

Odds are well over 99% that she makes it in time. Alice thought to herself. Bella didn’t even have those odds of surviving Edward those first few weeks after they met. Before he got through the clearing with her.

They started slowing, as a roadblock of police cars and officers appeared before them. Alice turned to Bella, not watching the road. She was undoing her seatbelt, body tensing, preparing to jump out of the car as it came to a halt.

“Alice-”

 “Bella, you’re the only one he can’t see coming.” An officer rapped on her window as she continued, almost too fast for human ears, “If I go, he’ll read my thoughts. He’ll think I’m lying, he’ll rush into it.”

 She could hear Bella’s heart thundering relentlessly as the door was thrown open.

“Where d-” 

 “He’ll be under the clocktower.” She motioned her head up the hill “Go!”

The door slammed as Bella sprinted away. 

Bella ran faster than she knew she could, faster than she ever had up the hill, through the overwhelming crowd, all of them wearing blood red robes. 

As she shoved through them, quickly approaching the main square, people gasped, or made what sounded like rude remarks. She barely processed the foreign exclamations as she gasped for air.

A small child fell over to get out of her way, she raced past, seeing the clocktower now, a throng of people shouting and cheering before her. And in her way. 

As she paused for a moment, getting her bearings and trying to determine the best way through the crowd, she saw a sparkle of light at the base of the clocktower.

Edward? No. A fountain, sparkling in the sunlight. She raced towards it, heedless to her shoes and jeans getting wet as she waded quickly through the water. More people fell out of her way as she jumped over the stone barrier on the other side. She was only a few hundred metres from him now. The sprint of her life. 

As she ran, her breath coming in heaves, her heart beating like a war drum in her chest, she felt as if time slowed. 

The door at the base of the clocktower opened and she saw Edward, for the first time in months, as she ran. He was as beautiful and haunting as he had been in her dreams all these months. In her nightmares. 

“Edward!” she screamed, hoping, praying that he would hear the sound of her voice over the cacophony. He had always heard her before.

He continued slowly, as if reticent to take those final steps out of the darkness and into the daylight. 

For once, their roles were reversed - she being the one who moved at unnatural speeds, him being the one moving at a glacial pace. 

Time resumed, its dials suddenly turned too quickly for her to process.

As he stepped into the light under the clocktower, Bella threw herself at him. Those final metres of difference protracting into nothing within a blink. 

And then - pain. 

Edward knew he was going to die today. Whether or not he had a soul, he had come to terms with his descent into the hells upon his death. The monster he was, had always been, would forever damn him to the depthless dark. 

As he stepped into the light for the last time in his immortal existence, he closed his eyes. 

It felt like only half a millisecond had passed before he was overwhelmed by warmth, overwhelmed by a softness embracing his body. He felt as if he was being pulled gently into the great beyond, feathers brushing his cheeks, clouds caressing his soul soothingly.

Perhaps he hadn’t been damned as he had feared. 

An overwhelming scent, a burning scent that had haunted him since that fated day in a dingy Forks high school classroom, came upon him. 

And he felt as if his immortal soul was finally leaving his body, felt a gentle touch against his skin as he dropped all pretenses, and gave in to the monster he had resisted for so long. 

He lunged, an unintentional reaction to the scent. Having not felt it burning his lungs for many months now, he was overwhelmed by its allure in his unpreparedness. His teeth sank pleasurably into skin and his mouth filled with that overwhelming, intoxicating, hedonistic taste - blood. 

And not just any blood. Bella’s blood.

His eyes snapped open, only a mere second having passed as he processed these sensations, and he realised that whatever cruel god held sway over his fate had punished him as he had truly once feared he might be. 

He was in hell, actually. 

Bella was here, he was still alive, and as he tried to pull away from the gravity of her, she leaned into him. Into his bite . 

He tried to wrestle himself away from her as he simultaneously took huge gulps, drinking her lifeblood, taking and taking and taking. It was so, so much better than he remembered.

The last time he had tasted her, she had been filled with James’ venom, and then with morphine. And he still remembered the way that her taste had quenched his every want, every need. She had met his every desire both vampire and human, in an ecstasy unlike any he deserved to experience. 

But this time she was pure, her heart beating against his chest almost made him feel human again. Her body felt like fire against his skin, and she sparkled faintly in his reflection. A gilded angel. 

Her taste was unmarred, her body pressed against his pleasurably, every point of contact sending a zap through him, straight to his core.

And as he felt this, he struggled. He screamed and thrashed against himself, against the monster that was still so much a part of him. He tried to pull away, and yet he still desperately pulled her towards him, pulling her blood into his mouth as a drowning man would gasp for air.

Only a few short seconds passed, and then he was forcefully ripped from where he stood. 

Two vampires crashed into him, pulling him into the shadows under the clocktower. He roared, hands reaching out to claw, to tear, to get himself back to her - to Bella. The monster couldn’t be contained, couldn’t be stopped, even as his mind processed what he had done. He had bit her. 

No. No!

He watched in horror as she collapsed onto the steps, blood on the clocktower, the effect of his venom clear as it practically washed out of her. 

A vampire he recognised, Alec  stalked towards her, ensconced in a dark cloak which hid him from the glaring sun. He looked as if he aimed to finish the job Edward had been ripped so violently away from completing. 

A different figure, clad in bright colours dashed forward and grabbed Bella’s limp body before Alec could reach them, cradling her in their arms. 

As she stood and looked up at him, she sparkled in the sunlight, in the few places where her face was still exposed.

Alice. 

As he took her in, took in Bella's limp body in her arms, everything went dark.

She was not breathing, not that she needed to, in an effort to hold back the appeal of Bella’s scent. The urge was irresistible as she dashed into the shadows where the two Volturi guards had taken Edward, just inside the doors of the clocktower. 

“Edward” Bella moaned softly. 

Good. She was conscious. 

As Alice placed her gently on the ground, still not looking down, she glanced at Edward.

He stared into nothing, devastation unlike anything Alice had ever seen marring his face. At least, not a devastation she had ever seen play out in reality. 

It was only in the worst visions, the ones she had been so sure would not play out today, that she had seen that haunted expression on Edward’s face.

She breathed in, in shock, and realised which reality exactly it was that they were in as her throat rasped. Bella’s scent, Bella’s blood, was making venom pool in her mouth as her muscles reflexively tightened. 

She heard the doors to the clocktower shut forebodingly behind her. Alec. That made sense, he was blocking Edward's senses, rendering him blind.

One in a hundred. Those were the odds. She thought towards Edward, certain that he could still hear her thoughts even if he couldn't detect her in other ways. 

He might never forgive her for what was going to happen today. She at least needed him to know she had been near-certain it wouldn’t.

As soon as Bella had left the car, she had been trying to resist the pull of the images flashing through her mind, not allowing herself to be distracted as she followed behind, out of Edwards ‘hearing’ range - and that had been her mistake. She hadn’t realised they were now living through her worst fears for this day. 

She pulled off her headscarf, tying it around Bella’s neck to try and stop… the blood, the blood, oh god.

Her hands were covered. She felt overwhelmed by everything flashing through her mind, by the scent, by her rasping hunger.

But she needed to stay here, stay in the present that she had feared might happen during the long flight to Italy. She had made so many minute adjustments, going over and over hundreds of versions of the future to prevent this… and it had still happened. Now, she could only act on what she already knew. 

Edward finished processing her thoughts a few moments after her, and started roaring again, trying to tear himself free of the two vampires holding him. He was clearly using what he heard in their minds against them as he successfully freed one arm, but he was almost immediately brought back under control.

“Nobody saw him, nobody will know. Please let him go, I need him to help me- to help with the blood.” She gasped out. She didn’t have air left to argue with the Volturi brutes holding her brother - and she didn’t know if she could stand another breath with Bella right there in front of her. 

She continued moving urgently, head bending to listen to Bella’s heart - to make sure it was still beating. 

And it was, but she could tell it was weak. There was just so much blood. 

In every vision where she ended up here Edward was devastated, somehow even more-so than he had been these past months without Bella.

And Bella? There was only one option for her now. 

Back when they first met her, after the classroom but before the clearing, there had always been a link to this version of the future, glaring in the distance. And even after everything had been unravelled in the clearing, even after Bella had survived James - there was still that one future, one version of events that an unbearable number of their options led to. 

The vision she had seen for the first time what felt like only a few weeks ago now cemented itself as the most likely option. The only option that Alice was willing to accept. 

She was looking down at Bella’s limp body, fresh blood pooling on the marble floors, onto her shoes, and she knew what she had to do. 

There was only one way that Bella would make it through this day. Only one way that her family could possibly survive this.

Bella would have to turn.

Chapter Text

Bella was screaming. She didn’t really know when she had started, but all she knew was there was a sharp pain that was radiating out from the left side of her neck. It felt like acid had been poured across her shoulder and face and chest, and with every second the burning spread further, scalding her.

She barely registered the cool marble floor underneath her as Alice worked to try and stymie the bleeding, her tinkling voice calling out to someone nearby. 

A different voice growled something unintelligible back… but she knew that voice. It had once called her back from the brink of death, an angel that soothed every hurt away.

The angel that had abandoned her in the forest. The same angel that didn’t love her anymore, the angel that she had been so desperate to save. Edward. 

Her eyes flickered open after a few attempts, and her screaming dipped to a wail.

Alice was staring down at her, looking nauseous.

Bella couldn’t bring herself to move, to try and see Edward, wherever he was.

The pain called out to her, like a nightmare given lullaby form somehow, dragging her steadily away from reality. It was familiar, and yet so much worse than anything she had ever felt before. 

She couldn’t comprehend what had happened, had they been attacked? And why did this burning give her deja-vu?

It was too much to bear, she couldn’t think.

“A-Al-Alice” she choked out feebly, “Pl-please make it… st-st-stop”. She gasped in a shuddering breath.

Alice’s gaze was on Bella, but it suddenly went unfocused in a way she had become familiar with in the months before Edward left. 

After a few moments, Alice’s focus returned to the present, and then turned away from her.

“Alec, could you.. try… on Bella. I know that Aro…”

Bella was gasping for air, practically paralysed with the pain, as she unsuccessfully tried to focus on Alice’s words.

As she suffered as quietly as she could, still occasionally gasping out a short scream without intending to, she wondered if this was it. If she would finally succumb to what she had feared, what she had dreamt every night for months, the pain of never seeing Edward again, of dying before she had the chance to.

But the burning went on, and on, and on. 

She shut her eyes again, curled onto her side, and tried to bite back her screams.

Alice couldn’t see Alec’s powers working on Bella, but she still asked him to try anyway, to at least attempt to give her some kind of relief from the pain.

Sometimes she did that, tried anyway, even when she knew it wouldn’t work. It had never resulted in anything different, but at times it felt better. It didn’t right now.

She could still see a few versions of the future where this all ended in a fight. Not ever intentionally, mostly because Bella’s blood was so overwhelming to so many of the Volturi. She had to be extra careful. 

One in a hundred odds are too high today.

As she pulled in another torturous breath to speak, Alec nodded, and Edward was suddenly at Bella’s side. 

She had already seen this, he’d decided a few moments beforehand to let him go.

“Edward, if you try to remove the venom you will kill her. She has lost too much blood, and we don’t have Carlisle to help this ti-” she froze momentarily, realising he had decided to try anyway. 

Why was nothing going how she expected it to today?

She moved quickly and tried to shove him away from Bella, careful not to step on her. He read what her intentions were, and blocked her easily, grabbing both wrists and bracing against the next manoeuvre she had planned. 

Alec scoffed derisively at them.

“Edward! Please, you know I’m right, you know.” She met his desperate eyes, which were already turning a hue more apricot than topaz.

She intentionally shoved images of her visions towards him. Now that he had decided to try and save Bella they were so much worse… And then they eased back again, responding to another decision, ebbing and flowing towards something more bearable for all of them. 

He let go of her wrists, glancing down at Bella, who was still gasping in air like a dying fish, eyes shut to the world around her.

“I’m here Bella, I’m here” he murmured as he scooped her up.

Her eyes were bloodshot as they opened weakly and she gasped at the contact, body bracing… But her eyes were momentarily almost wistful looking, tears pooling in the corners as she blinked rapidly. 

Then she sucked in another panting breath, and moaned. Her body curled into an almost foetal position in Edward’s arms, eyes snapping shut, tears escaping.

For about the hundredth time, Alice was grateful that Edward couldn’t read Bella’s thoughts. She could only imagine how much more guilt he would feel about this entire situation if he was forced to hear exactly what kind of agony his actions had put her through. Not that he didn’t know from experience, but still. She knew the guilt was going to haunt him for a long time already. 

Edward suddenly turned to look at Alec and nodded at him in acknowledgement of something.

“Follow me.” Alec said tersely. 

So they did.

They exited from the rear of the clocktower and made their way down a series of surprisingly well-shaded alleyways before jumping down a grate, into what looked like ancient subterranean drains. 

Bella’s sharp exhale of agony as Edward landed with her in his arms made them all flinch. Vampire hearing could be a burden at times.

Edward was moving more slowly than usual, trying not to jostle Bella as a constant low moan escaped her.

They walked downhill along the stone tunnel, their footsteps echoing around them, towards a grate with thick iron bars in the distance.

A small door was standing open to the left side of the grate, which Alec ducked through, followed by Alice and Edward. The door slammed shut behind them with a loud clanging sound as one of the brutes, Felix, locked it behind them.

Next, a long room with a thick wooden door at the end, locked loudly again, leading into a brightly lit, carpeted corridor. At the end of the corridor Alec’s impatient hooded figure was already standing by silver elevator doors.

They made their way into the mirrored box, Edward grimacing slightly at the reflection of him carrying a Bella who looked fresh out of a horror movie.

He wasn’t breathing, Alice wasn’t either, and she didn’t think if any of the others were. There was blood coating the front of Bella’s shirt, the dark stain slowly spreading, but thankfully the scarf around her neck had prevented any further serious bleeding. As Alice turned to face the closing doors she spotted her bloody shoe prints marching towards them along the pale gray carpet of the hallway.

Once the doors had closed, the two brutes relaxed slightly, pulling their hoods back to reveal their dark hair, Alec doing the same behind her. Edward was staring at her, she could see in her mind's eye. 

You need to follow my lead. She thought towards him. You won’t be happy with what’s about to happen but I’ve turned over every alternative and this is the best path forward. 

She tried to hide the exact series of events they were about to live through, turning her mind to calculating the rate at which her bloodied footprints would fade until they ceased to show a mark (at least 32 more steps by her count, 14 for human eyes), reciting a favourite song she knew backwards, and watching her next future encounter with Jasper, replaying in her mind's eye everything she would do to him when she saw him next, dirty details included.

Edward huffed. It’s not like she could really hide the fact she was hiding something .

The elevator ride was relatively short, although the moments dragged on as she tried to keep her mind focused elsewhere.

Bella’s moaning quietened slightly, her breathing shallow and rapid.

Maybe she would pass out? No, Alice didn’t see that happening. 

The elevator doors opened into a reception area with rich green carpets and a mahogany counter. Felix disappeared from the room almost instantly.

Scanning his future quickly, Alice realised it was to find someone to clean up the mess they had left behind in the clocktower. Sensible.

A human girl stood behind the counter in the centre of the room, one of the many human staff that cycled through the Volturi, pining for something which very few of them were ever gifted. Most likely, she’d end up as a meal. 

“Good Afternoon, Alec” the girl simpered. No surprise registered on her face as she took in the rest of their group, but Alice heard her heartrate pick up as she spied Bella’s limp form in Edwards arms. 

Yes, there really was a gruesome amount of blood. 

They walked through another set of doors and Jane appeared, kissing her brother quickly on each cheek and then scanning Edward and Alice quickly. 

“Oh good, Aro will be so pleased you’ve managed to find dear Alice ,” she smiled at her. Alice resisted the urge to roll her eyes, “And welcome back Edward. I presume this is the cause of all the trouble. And what a state she’s in… Poor thing” Her mouth quirked up at the corners slightly, false platitudes galore.

Edward had stiffened slightly, a low snarl building. Patience, she mentally cautioned him.

“Let’s not keep Aro waiting, dear sister” Alec said, as if he hadn’t heard Edward. 

Alec took Jane's hand, and they led the way down the ornate marbled corridor before them. 

Alice already knew they would turn into a small door hidden behind the ornate panelling on the walls, rather than the huge golden doors at the end of the corridor. 

“Before we go in, you might want to warn them about the blood. I can see Aro won’t be pleased if you don’t.” Alice said as they walked, Edward glancing at her thankfully.

“We have already given warning.” Jane said, her eyes flickering to meet Alice’s with a look of disdain. 

There were the usual vampires, cold blooded killers with disregard for human life… and then there were vampires like Jane.

“It isn’t enough, Demetri is there, and there is a 60% chance he snaps unintentionally” Alice said, keeping a neutral expression on her face.

Jane’s posture stiffened slightly, but Alec motioned for the remaining brute escort to warn the room ahead. 

They waited a moment in the corridor, Bella’s heart thudding loudly 18 times, and then they entered, the majority of the usual attendants gone. 

The circular room was grand, with three large ornately carved wooden chairs, or perhaps more aptly thrones, sitting on an elevated platform on the far side of the room. Marcus, Aro, and Caius sat in their respective places. Alice couldn’t help but admire the room, the theatre of it all.

Esme had rarely visited the Volturi, but she had talked before of how much she admired the architecture, the grand scale of everything that the kings had curated over a millenia. Alice couldn’t help but appreciate it too now that she was seeing it in person for the first time.

Columns of ivory white streaked with gold framed the thrones, with white marble steps leading down to what once might have been a dancefloor, but now was a theatre for spectacle. They were today's performance.

Dark red and white filigree patterns were set into the centre of the round floor, beams of sunlight scattering down from long slitted windows above them to set the stone, and vampires, sparkling. In the very centre of the arrangement was a slight depression, for a drain.

A handful of attendants were scattered around the edges of the room, tense at the scent which had wafted in alongside them. Alice noted Aro’s mate, Sulpicia, alongside a few other members of the Volturi’s inner circle she recognised from one of Carlisle’s paintings.

No Demetri, good. She thought to Edward, her mind swirling down the possible paths of the futures where Demetri had been present, to keep Edward away from the next few minutes she was trying not to think about.

After the few moments it took them to enter centre stage, Aro began the theatrics in earnest.

He clapped delightedly as he rose from his throne and walked down the steps, greeting Alec with a hug.

“Alec, dear one, you’ve returned!” he cried.

“I brought him back alive, just as you wished.” Alec beamed to his master, stepping out of his arms and gesturing to the three of them. 

“Ah, Alec,” Aro smiled. “You are such a comfort to me.”

Jane approached and kissed him beatifically on each cheek before stepping aside to clasp hands with her brother.

“Unfortunately our guests made a mess before I was able to intervene, but nothing to concern yourself with, Aro, Felix is handling it.” Alec said with plaintive tones. 

Aro glanced back at Alec before returning his attention to them, delight replacing the knowingly amused look that flitted across his cloudy, red gaze momentarily.

“Edward. So lovely to see you, I am glad you were able to visit us again so soon,” His face contorted into a look of forlorn concern, “And is this your Bella ? Mon dieu, the poor thing. What trying times for you, so desperate for her to remain mortal, but a blessing that you are not without her as you had so feared. And she won’t be so very fragile soon.”

He stepped much closer, touching Edwards bare wrist for a moment before gasping dramatically.

Alice had to admire his self-discipline, especially for a vampire who wasn’t vegetarian. She hadn’t seen a single future where he lost control in this encounter.

“Her blood!”, he stepped back, eyes comically wide, “It calls to you so very much. Oh my… I do wonder…” 

He darted swiftly over to Marcus, whose gaze as he offered his hand for Aro to touch briefly was utterly bored.

“Thank you Marcus,” Aro flitted back to them, smiling again, “That really is quite interesting.”

What do they find so interesting? Alice thought to Edward.

“He’s surprised by the strength of my bond with Bella, especially given how much she appeals to me,” Edward said to her, “Marcus can only see the strength of our relationship now that she’s here too.”

“And truly, if I had not smelled her through your memories,” Aro mused, “I wouldn’t have believed the call of anyone’s blood could be so strong. I’ve never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you…”

“Waste it.” Edward finished, his voice sarcastic. “I consider it a price,”Aro looked skeptical. “A very high price. And I would prefer if you didn’t check if Bella’s thoughts elude your powers right now. You can ask her, once she’s able to consent.” He finished coldly.

Aro seemed to ignore Edwards final comment as he turned to face Alice, “And dear, dear Alice has graced us with her presence. What a pleasure it is to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much.” His arms stretched out to grasp her hand.

Alice had never actually met Aro, although she had heard about him from her family, and had seen him in so many futures now that he was familiar.

“The pleasure is mine, Aro.” She inclined her head slightly as she offered her hand to him. 

Everything was about to happen very quickly. 

This is the lesser evil, I promise . Alice thought towards Edward.

Edward tensed beside her, Bella moaning in his arms as he shifted her closer to him. 

As Aro looked up from Alice’s hand and met her eyes, pure, unfettered delight danced in them.

“Alice. No.” Edward growled. 

“Aro, you know what I am offering. Please, leave my family unharmed. Edward was not seen, he does not need to be punished any further than he already has been by his own actions. I’m sure you could feel that in his thoughts yourself. Provide us with refuge while we wait for Bella to change, and for a little while afterwards whilst she adjusts. In exchange, I will offer the Volturi my services temporarily.” 

Shocked murmurs echoed around the room.

Alice’s eyes darted to the left of Aro as Marcus, who had been completely motionless, tilted his head slightly.

“Oh she is good.” Caius laughed haughtily from over Aro’s other shoulder , “This will certainly be entertaining.”

The three kings, Aro particularly, were collectors, and had probably sought Alice from the moment they knew of her. The main reason they hadn’t tried to take her by force was likely out of respect for Carlisle, and out of fear for what she could do to the Volturi if she wasn’t with them by choice. Not that most of their inner circle really were. 

“Alice,” Edward ground out, “This is a mistake, please.” His teeth clenched audibly.

But he was wrong. The futures flashing through her mind had already resolved past the tangled knot she had seen before. 

“Aro understands that if we are not allowed to leave it will end poorly.” She was performing to the room as she turned to Edward, eyes wide and imploring, “As much as he might not want to, we will all come to a mutually beneficial understanding. I am not risking yours and Bella’s lives by trying to leave here today.” She turned back to Aro, smiling, “Isn’t that right, Aro?” 

“My dear Alice, of course we will provide you with safety and certainty in these trying times. We are not ones to turn away honoured guests.” He turned to Marcus and Caius, lounging on their respective thrones. Both inclined their heads in acknowledgement. 

“And we will honour,” he said, turning back towards them, “Your request to leave, once you feel it is an appropriate time.” He stepped towards Edward, who stiffened perceptibly. 

“My dear son, let us make you and your Bella comfortable. You are among friends,” his arms gestured widely to the room, “We will protect you all in your moment of weakness.” He smiled affectedly. “Let us show you to your rooms.”

“And let us eat,” Caius called out, “Her stench has set me practically starving.”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry Charlie, I would put Bella on but she’s really sick, she’s completely lost her voice and-.”

“Alice, I’m booking flights right now. Where are you.”

“We’re in Italy”

“Italy? What do you mean you’re in Italy? Bella’s never been farther east than Albuquerque.”

It had been 24 hours since Alice had agreed to help the Volturi in exchange for their safety. Edward was probably the most angry she’d ever seen him. Not just angry, betrayed.

He was sitting at Bella’s bedside keeping her company whilst she screamed in agony a few rooms away. 

The venom had been making its way through her at a decent pace given the fortunate placement of Edward's unfortunate bite. After a prolonged discussion between the two of them, a call to Carlisle, and a brief excursion for Edward to go hunting, he had bitten Bella once more on her opposing shoulder. Based on Carlisle’s theory her transformation would hopefully speed up with more venom in her system, but it also seemed to mean Bella was in a lot more pain a lot sooner.

As the transformation progressed the pain slowly ratcheted, spread through your body until you felt like you were burning alive from every pore, every cell. Each heartbeat shot the agony deeper, slowing over the days it took for the venom to transform you, until the final beats of your heart were an unbearable agony. 

At least, that’s what it had been like for the rest of her family. Alice only vaguely remembered the final moments of her transformation. She didn’t even know where she had been bitten, let alone how long it had taken, or how it had progressed.

Alice knew Bella would go hoarse in the next few hours. There was no way to ease Bella’s pain, but at least it wouldn’t be as horrible for anyone in earshot.

“I know Charlie, I’m sorry, my family was convinced that Edward was going to do something very, very stupid. It was my idea to reach out to Bella, you can blame me for her first long haul flight giving her pneumonia.”

“Pneumonia? Alice, I thought she was just sick.”

“I promise she’s in the best care possible, Carlisle already spoke to the doctors here, and he was in Switzerland for a conference anyway so he’s flying down at the moment to make sure. I can get him to give you a call when he gets here in the next hour or two to talk it through with you.”

“Alice, I-”

“I really am so sorry Charlie. It’s my fault, Bella wouldn’t have been so impulsive if I hadn’t convinced her.”

“Of course I don’t blame you Alice, I’m sure you were worried about Edward and I guess I’m just worried about Bella being in hospital in a foreign country, with no health insurance and not a lick of Italian… but if Carlilse thinks she’ll be okay that's… that’s good. If you could get him to give me a call later…”

They had decided not to take any drastic action until Bella could make a decision on the matter, but Edward and Alice both knew she’d want them to tell Charlie something. Alice could see that if they faked Bella’s death now Charlie would be distraught, probably do something rash, and then she and her family would have to manage him as well as Bella, Edward, and the Volturi.

It felt like being a full time babysitter, sometimes. Constantly juggling every option, everyone’s feelings. She obviously loved her family, had found a new sister in Bella, and adored Charlie, but it did sometimes feel a little exhausting. And currently she was also contending with the innumerable talents of the Volturi, trying to outmanoeuvre them in every possible way, spending almost every waking moment considering new pathways to her family’s happiness. 

When they had left Forks, Bella had scribbled a quick note to Charlie in the moments before they had rushed out of the house, saying that she was with Alice, that Edward was in trouble, and that he could ground her when she got home.

The last time Bella had gone on an Edward-related, impulsive trip she had almost died. As much as they would most likely end up having to fake Bella’s death in the coming months or years, Alice had seen how upset Bella was to be leaving Charlie in the lurch even momentarily.

“His best friend just died, Alice. I know Edward needs me, I’m not turning back and I don’t regret being here,” Bella had whispered to Alice, “But I just can’t break his heart again like last time. I can’t do that to him again.”

They were sitting together in first class, the lights dimmed as the rest of the passengers slept on their second flight from London to Pisa. Bella had barely eaten in the past 10 hours, so Alice continued insisting she drink her lemonade, as unappetising as it smelled to her. She nudged the can towards her again with a look. Bella took a swig.

“You could call him when we land? Let him know where you are, that you’re okay?” 

“No!” Bella said, before adjusting her voice back to a whisper, “No, no way. He’ll flip out. I only have a passport because mum had this idea to do a destination wedding in Mexico when her and Phil got married, so I applied for one, but after that plan fell through…” Her eyes blinked rapidly, before widening in horror, “I don’t even think Charlie knows I have a passport, I’ve never even left the states before.” 

Bella’s words had been running like a faucet for hours now. Alice knew she probably needed to sleep, probably needed to be reminded to, but Bella was so alert with anxiety. Her heart rate had been sitting well above average for their whole first flight except in brief moments when she had napped.

“I’m not concerned about going overseas, I just don’t want to freak Charlie out more than I already have. He’s been so devastated about Harry, and I know I’d just sound stressed if I called him after we landed, and it’s not like I have an international phone plan. I’ll buy a sim and call him after we get to….” She grabbed the can, and sipped again, “to Edward.”

“Will you tell Charlie you’re in Italy then ?”

“Probably, I’d feel worse lying to him. I at least owe him whatever truth I can give him after last time.”

Her friend Jacob Black knew why they’d really gone. He couldn’t say anything to Charlie at the risk of breaking the treaty, although Alice couldn’t see what he’d do, but at least if word got back that Bella was alive…

The wolves were so volatile, and she couldn’t predict even roughly what they’d do. She’d never felt more frustrated with the limitations of her gift. As much as it was interesting to discover there was more nuance to it than she’d thought before, it was the whole reason they were in this situation in the first place. 

Bella’s future had just… disappeared. And it was because she had somehow managed to befriend the first monsters she came across after they left.

The state of the Quileute  treaty was a problem to hash out with Carlisle when he arrived. He, Esme and Jasper were on their way, their flight had landed about 30 minutes ago in Pisa and they were driving to them now.

“Of course Charlie, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news first thing in the morning. And don’t worry, I made sure to get travel insurance included when I bought the tickets - you don’t have to worry about a dime.”

“That’s great Alice, that’s great. You’ve always been such a good friend to Bella. She’s really missed you, y’know.”

“I know Charlie, and as much as it sucks for her right now I’m glad she’s back in my life again. I’m sure we’ll be back to our usual antics once she’s feeling better.”

“You give me a call if anything changes okay? Even if it’s the middle of the night over here.”

“Of course Charlie, and don’t forget to let Renee know too.”

“Ha. You really know how to make a Saturday morning something special, Alice.”

“Sorry Charlie, give her my apologies would you? And pass on my number, she’s welcome to call if she wants to talk through anything.”

“Sure thing Alice.”

“Talk soon, Charlie.”

“Talk soon.”

Chapter Text

Edward wasn’t just angry with Alice, he was also furious with Rosalie. Why had she interfered? Why did she have to be so self-obsessed that she couldn’t see how distraught he had been? How the news of Bella’s death would send him on a war path for the Volturi. 

The idea of living in a world without Bella was so wrong to him, so disturbing that it would drive him to do the one thing he had always erred away from. 

If his immortal soul was already gone, what harm could committing suicide really be? But some part of him had always avoided it, even when he was suffering, even when he broke from the lifestyle Carlisle had modelled for so many years, and became the monster he always knew he was. 

When he gave into the prowling beast under his skin, when he was so filled with shame over the horrific people who he murdered, even then he hadn’t considered it. 

But Rosalie in all of her brashness, in her desire to be the centre of attention, was now the reason Bella was writhing in agony, her skin covered in sweat, soaking the sheets of the bed beside him.

He had scoffed at Alice’s suggestion that Rosalie come with the rest of their family to Volterra, so Rosalie and Emmett were staying with the Denali cousins.

He knew he would probably forgive her after they weren’t in such hot water. But god did they have hot waters to navigate before then. 

Alice made her way back into the bedroom, relaying her conversation with Charlie to him, even though he’d overheard most of it. 

Bella was panting agitatedly in between screams, a bright flush on her face. It had been torture beyond anything he could have feared, sitting with her, hearing and seeing her agony, knowing that he was the cause. 

He would endure the agony for her, because despite his fears that she didn’t care for him any longer, she seemed just slightly less pained, less restless in his presence. Or at least that was Alice’s observation that he had overheard her thinking.

He didn’t know what Bella was going to do when she woke up. Wasn’t sure if she’d scorn him forever, curse his existence. The last words he had properly spoken to her had been to tell her he didn’t love her…

And she had believed them. 

He had never really thought that her love could measure up to what he felt for her. Vampire emotions were so much stronger, so much more potent than human ones.

And in the six months since he had left Forks, there wasn't a moment of his existence that hadn’t been occupied by the thought of her. 

After they had cleaned her up, after Alice had got her in clothes that weren’t bloodstained and he had been able to sit with her and look at her properly, he couldn't help but notice the tiny changes.

The extra length to her dark brown hair, her skin more tanned than he recalled, like she’d spent more time in the sun. 

Time had passed, and Bella had changed.

And now these were her last hours, her last moments being human. 

He would cherish every second, every breath, every beat of her heart. 

Every infinitesimal difference. 

Even if she looked more gaunt than he remembered, felt lighter in his arms, like something had been eating away at her these months. And there were more concerning changes than that. More fundamental changes.

She’d jumped off a cliff . 

Alice had explained to him thrice over, had shown him the memories of Bella frantically explaining ‘ It was for recreational purposes only.. It looked like… fun, and I… I can’t really explain why I did it, but I swear it wasn’t because I was trying to die , Alice’ . 

But she had promised him, promised that she wouldn’t do anything reckless. It was the last thing he’d made her do. For Charlie . 

Had that been worth nothing to her? 

He knew she was human, knew she was ever-changing, but he’d thought her word was worth more than her recklessness.

Chelsea had always seen relationships as threads of fate, typing people together. It had always amazed her how perceptive humans were to these ties, despite not being able to see or manipulate them in the ways she could. 

The Fates, as they were known these days, of Greek mythology were described as being the spinner, measurer and cutter of the threads of life, and in her earliest days after turning, she often considered herself to be their eternal counterpart. Stories told across different times, places and cultures would refer back to these so-called threads of fate, of life-force, and she Chelsea could see them for herself. 

When Aro had first turned her those centuries ago, her powers had been limited. In the beginning, she could only cut the threads. There was no nuance to her powers, it was simply a severing. But now? She could weave new strands between people, encourage them to strengthen and grow, influence their qualities, positive or negative. And she could unpick the thin twisted strands individually, until the threads seemed to snap of their own accord. The latter was the most recent development of her powers, the ability to encourage what seemed like a natural degradation in a relationship, pushing it past a tipping point until it spiralled to its demise. 

And she could see and understand the connections, similar to Marcus’ powers. Aro had sworn her to secrecy on that front. Marcus would not, could not know that he was essentially rendered useless now. And so Aro utilised her gifts, and the secrets of them, to understand their enemies. Those enemies included the other two kings, who Chelsea worked to keep tied to the Volturi, to Aro, to their wives, who were essentially prisoners to the Volturi, especially after Marcus’ wife had been killed. 

Ever since, Aro had used Corin, who had powers of addictive contentment, to keep Athenodor and Sulpicia happy, placid, and contained.

Over the years, as time had passed, Chelsea had grown used to Corin’s company too. She suspected Corin of using her powers on her, but the connection between them was unlike anything Chelsea had felt before, the strands weaving between them wholly unlike anything she had seen before. Few others could understand the kinds of powers they held, the ways they both pulled at the puppet strings of those around them. 

And with their respective positions of power within the Volturi? 

She would allow her creator to use her as a weapon to threaten those who worked to topple him. He saw every thought, want, need in her mind, and delivered anything she wished to her. In return, she wove, snipped and wore away at the threads tying his enemies together, or keeping his allies close. 

She was Aro’s linchpin, and he had made it clear that her priority was to keep Alice and Edward with them for as long as possible, by any means.

She had studied the ties between the two powerful Cullen siblings and the human girl they had brought with them, not that she would be human for much longer. 

The girl was intriguing, for the strength of her ties to the Cullens. Almost rope-like, smothering… and vivid. 

The different colours, fabrics and tautness of the threads between people could tell her much about the nature of their connection. Most humans had a slippery silkiness to their ties. An effervescence, a sense of fragility, beautiful but fleeting. Their threads often seemed thinner, ready to snap. ANd nd they did, much more easily than those of vampires.

The ties between vampires were more coiled, rope-like, thick fibres. They erred towards natural fibres, sometimes cotton, jute or straw. And most often, they were red. Ruby red, carmine, burgundy, crimson. 

Edward and Bella’s ties to each other were contrasting. Edwards were a reddish bronze, with an almost metallic look to them, and Bella’s a stormcloud blue, the colours shifting slightly along the strands as they changed from a lighter blue to a deep grey. Like cotton cumulonimbus clouds, the colour sometimes verged more towards purple than blue. The clash of the strands along the rope-like bonds between them seemed almost discordant, off. 

Chelsea wondered how the strands would have appeared before the girl was bitten, how they might appear in the coming days when her transformation was complete. 

All of these details told her so much. She picked away at the rope-like bonds, looking for any flaws, sections where she might be able to pull at already loose threads, existing weaknesses in the bond between them. 

There was a section of darkest grey, where it seemed like all colour had leached out of Bella’s strands, where the metallic sparkle in Edwards seemed to dull somewhat, and the bond thinned. She studied it closer, there was fraying there. Something had happened that pulled at the bond between them. Something recent. 

She would use it to her advantage. 

As she picked away, she realised Bella’s bonds were stronger than they had first appeared. She could barely manipulate them, if at all. It seemed like something resisted her attempts to influence.

Edwards strands, meanwhile, followed her encouragement to weaken. She sensed there was existing doubt in his feelings towards Bella. They hadn’t been together for some time, there was such longing in the lustre of the threads, and a sense of betrayal. Something rotting at the core of his feelings to her, eating away at him. 

She was lucky. With the girl stuck in the limbo between humanity and eternity she could work in silence, eat away at the ties between them and poise them to snap. 

She smiled to herself, working away.

In a few days, Bella’s blood red eyes would open, and the ties keeping her to the Cullen’s would simply evaporate in the wind.

Chapter Text

Alice had a headache. The last time she’d had one this terrible was when she first awoke as a vampire. The infinite versions of her future, the futures of those she would love, the triumphs and tribulations of her immortal existence, overwhelmed her. 

She spent an unknown amount of time working her way through them, to find her reality, to where she could see the present rather than everything beyond it. 

Today, she was reminded of that feeling, as her mind unspooled itself, racing across all of the threads of the future that were splayed before her. 

One in a hundred odds. She hadn’t seen Edward turning Bella as more than that, hadn’t realised it was a true risk, because it was something Edward never would have decided to do. The only reason it had happened was because of what she liked to think of as a statistical anomaly.

If Edward’s eyes hadn’t been shut; if the wind hadn’t blown in that exact direction; if Bella hadn’t tripped over the edge of the fountain; if Alice had driven faster. All of these tiny things, things that in most cases weren’t conscious decisions, had compounded to give them the present. 

Blind with panic and a sense of grief over something she felt she should’ve known to prevent, Alice had worked towards the only option that seemed realistic, that would allow her family to remain free. She had offered herself to the Volturi in an attempt to give themselves time. But since that moment, the future had unravelled.

She had once explained to Edward that his future, and Bella’s, was approaching a ‘knot’. At various points right after they had first met, she couldn’t say whether they would make it through that knot. Essentially, it had come down to whether Edward could prevent himself from killing Bella. The picture of Bella’s broken body, a gash across her neck, had revisited Alice’s mind over and over again. For weeks it had been clear to her that it was an option for the future, but eventually Edward had worked through his feelings for Bella, and although the odds had still not been perfect, they were much more favourable. 

They had made it through that knot, that choke point where all of their futures snagged together.

The options before her in the present felt like the opposite. As she studied them all, things felt like they were unravelling, as if her grasp was too weak to properly catch them. She could normally see the pattern in the weave, the bundlings of threads, futures, and the themes they followed. 

It was as if someone was snipping away at the very fabric of the futures she saw. 

Her head ached. She opened her eyes to try and distract herself from the things she saw when she closed them.

She was sitting in a patch of sunlight, on the private balcony outside of the room they had been given. Before her, a cliff fell to a dazzlingly green forest, the sun rising over it in the distance. Past its vibrant border were farms with rolling fields, stocked with cattle. They were by no means her preferred dining choice, but she couldn’t really be picky right now. 

She sighed dramatically. She hated feeling out of control. It was not something she was used to.

Suddenly, a wave of calm, of security, washed over her. 

Jasper.

Moments later, he found her. They embraced, her sun-warmed skin and his icy cold touch making her feel heady. She was ecstatic to see him, and at the same time she felt a sense of grief that he had to come all this way, that she had to involve the rest of her family…

The wave of calmness washed back over her. She pulled back and caught his amber eyes, and shook her head from side to side. 

"I want to bask in being here, with you."

The calm wave slowly receded, her sense of overwhelmedness still dampened, but not erased. Jasper's eyes held hers, her body felt electric, his gaze felt dazzling. 

They stood, completely still, for a few moments.

To any outsider, they could have been statues, sparkling quartz in the sunlight, two beautiful young people gazing deeply into each other's eyes. 

Suddenly, as if they moved as one, they made their way inside. 

My family is here, my mate is here , Alice thought to herself, and we will make this right.

Carlisle had gone straight to his brothers, Aro, Caius and Marcus, whilst Esme and Jasper attended to Edward, Bella and Alice. 

"I thank you for looking after my family in this difficult time," he was saying to them.

"I know you are not ones to give without receiving something in return, but I appreciate it nonetheless. You know how much I care for them all."

The three kings nodded, although they seemed less like kings and more like siblings at the moment. 

They were sprawled at a casual table, made from the door to a church that had been built a few hundred years ago, before any of Carlisle’s family was even alive.. 

Like his brothers, the door was unusually well preserved, although some of the bloodstains from throughout the years remained. 

Caius and Aro sipped casually on goblets of blood, their limbs arranged artfully. 

Carlisle held in an amused huff at the thought of how they fit in so well with the stereotypes of his kind. Some of those stereotypes existed for good reason. 

Marcus stood away from the table, staring out at the view of a verdant green forest that was beyond the french doors leading to a small courtyard. 

Carlisle admired the view for a moment, before turning back to Aro as he spoke. 

"We always try to make our extended family welcome here, Carlisle. You know we think of you as our brother, in many ways." Aro smiled at him. 

"An annoying brother, too many puffed up principles in my eyes, but of course we respect your clan" Caius smirked. 

They both sipped again. 

Marcus turned, the other three waited in anticipatory silence. 

"The connection between the girl and your son is astonishing," he mused, "In all my years… I’ve seen almost nothing like it; not between a human and one of us. She is truly remarkable."

"Bella, as I’m sure you know, is more remarkable than many humans. She is a natural shield. I haven’t met a human like her in all of my years, not one who even Edward can’t hear the thoughts of".

"I do wonder if she will elude my powers too," Aro said, "Your boy did not want me to check myself."

He looked thoughtfully at Carlisle, "Do you think he would permit me to see, with your blessing? You are a man of science, after all, Carlisle. I’m sure you’re as curious as I am".

"I can’t speak on his behalf, Aro, and he is quite.. Protective of her."

"Possessive really, it’s unbecoming of our kind"Caius sniped.

Carlisle ignored him. 

"I can ask on your behalf, but I think he might be too distraught to allow it. I have yet to see him, but I imagine he’s rather… agitated about Bella’s safety right now".

"To put it lightly" Caius again. 

"Thank you, Caius" Aro said." Caius rolled his eyes, and sipped deeply from his goblet. "I can empathise with your boy, his memories of her were… stirring. I don’t think I’ve ever known of a singer like her before. Not someone whose call felt so very lethal to resist. I admire him, your son, you’ve raised him well Carlisle."

"Edward is hardly a product of solely my influence, he has strong guiding morals. At times I think he might be stronger than any other of our kind, at least when it comes to self control."

"Or stubbornness".

Aro shot Caius a withering look. 

Carlisle exhaled a laugh.

Brothers, they were. As much as their morals differed, Carlisle always missed the arguments, the ways they all pushed each other. When they were all younger, it felt like running in a pack together. Their differences made them stronger. Caius’s knife-edged snarkiness, Aro’s pragmatic but delightful attitude, Carlisle’s empathetic and caring nature, and Marcus… 

Marcus had been different then, before his wife was killed, had been… charismatic… bubbly, even. Like a kinder version of Aro.

Carlisle could not picture that version of him anymore, as he glanced back at Marcus, whose back was once again turned to them as he stood and stared out at the view. 

Carlisle wondered if he was even taking in the beauty of it, if his eyes could even appreciate it anymore. Perhaps, he was taking in a vista which only made the rest of his life feel duller in contrast. He  often worried about his friend, about the depths of his depressive state, about the ways that Aro and Caius didn’t support him. Carlisle had been that support, once. 

But their differences had pushed him away from them, mostly the differences of Aro and Caius. Their uncaring nature towards humans, their vindictive streak. They pushed each other, egged each other on, and without Marcus or Carlisle to reel them back from the edge, he feared they were worse than ever. 

"Brother," Aro interrupted his train of thought, "I hope you have brought your mate with you, I have been wishing for so long to meet the wonderful Esme, who I know has made you so happy".

The conversation drifted away, and Carlisle's thoughts with it.

His brothers were not the poison he feared, they were still like a family to him. They were still caring, as much as they could be uncaring towards some.

He wondered if these men who called him Brother could truly be a threat. Whatever it was he thought, he was wrong.

Her son was more distraught than she had ever seen him. Esme hadn’t been there when he had spoken to Rosalie, when he got what he thought was the news that Bella had died. She could only imagine the depths of his grief, his fear that he was the cause, his loss of hope, a sense that his world was crumbling away. 

And then, the flame reigniting, the spark of hope coming back with Bella’s return, only for him to have been the cause of his own worst fears. 

She worried. She worried more than she had ever worried about any of her children. 

"That isn’t helping, Esme" Edward said, sounding exhausted. 

As she stood by him, at Bella's bedside, she tried to think about something else. She focused on the positives: that her son wouldn’t be alone; that he and Bella could live out the rest of their lives together; that the problem she had worried so much about in the months that their family had been away from Forks had been miraculously solved.

"Solved?" He glared at her now. 

"I know it’s not what you wanted, but you have to look at the bright side. We can’t go back to how things were" He stared at Bella who was silently writhing in pain. 

She cupped his cheek and turned his face to her, looking down at him. 

"You can’t blame yourself for this, Edward. You can’t suffer for eternity because of one mistake. Bella loves you, she always loved you, and as much as I know you disagreed with her on this, she will be ecstatic to know she has an eternity with you." She leaned down and kissed his cheek, patted his hair gently and watched him become slightly less tense in her presence. 

"Don’t let this dampen the future you will have together, don’t tear yourself apart over a genuine mistake, for something that we all know you would never have chosen for her." 

His gaze dropped from hers.

"I… I don’t know if I can." he paused, taking in a long, shuddering breath. 

"I don’t know if I can truly forgive myself. I’ll always feel like I failed her, like I destroyed the beautiful life she had before her."

If their kind could cry, Esme was sure that there would be tears tracking down her son’s distraught face. 

"And I don’t even know if she really did…" his voice caught suddenly. He choked out "Love me, that is". 

Esme’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. What?  Edward looked up at her in response. 

"She promised me when I left that she wouldn’t put herself at risk. I made her swear on it, for Charlie… She broke that promise...  And when I left, when I told her I didn’t love her, she believed me, Esme."

Esme shook her head gently. 

"No, Esme, you weren’t there. She believed me. I don’t know how she could, that was the worst part. She was distraught, I’d never seen her more hurt or upset, but she truly believed that I could just walk away."

"Edward, you can’t blame her for that. You’ve never been anything but honest with her. What else was she supposed to do? Assume that just this once you weren’t being truthful?"

He’s been wallowing in this for too long, sitting on his own, stewing in how he feels. I wish he hadn’t left in the first place, if only he’d been with us… 

"I needed time. You know that"

Well yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have come home.

"Just because you needed space doesn’t mean you didn’t also need to talk to someone about this all," She sighed, "I wish you’d called."

"I’m sorry I didn’t."

"I missed you, Edward. I’m sorry this has all happened."

Esme moved to the chair next to Edwards, taking his hand in hers. They sat together in silence, Esme trying desperately, for her son’s sake, to think positively, and Edwards thoughts only turning darker than they had before.

Chapter Text

She was a beautiful thing, even in her pain. 

Her flushed skin of cream and roses, her appallingly luscious scent. 

He couldn’t help but look at her, taking in every subtle change that had occurred in only a few short months. She had changed so much, so much that he wondered if he really even knew her. 

Humans were like that, they changed constantly. Forgot, obsessed, reviled, revoked, begged and bruised themselves. It was an incessant, unyielding cycle of change that he sometimes had struggled to stay abreast of, even with extra faculties at his disposal.

Even once he knew Bella, he had never fully understood her. He had never been able to truly anticipate her thoughts. Her reactions? He guessed many. Her hopes? He knew some. But he had never truly felt that he understood every part of her - she could forever surprise him.

At one point, he thought this was a good thing. Thought that her silent, unknowable mind was a gift: and yet, he always felt an anxious unease, always felt like he was on the edge of a precipice, waiting for when she would wake up to the monster that he was.

And when she hadn’t, he worried for her. Could he really trust her choices? Could he accept at face value the desires of someone who clearly had such little capability for self preservation? Who seemed more concerned about the wellbeing of a family of practically indestructible beings, over her own base needs?

‘It’s possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity’ he had told her the last time he was by her bedside for days. 

It had been after she almost died, after James had nearly turned her, after Edward’s mistake, his carelessness, had nearly killed her. 

Even when her own life had been at risk, as James pursued her, she had always thought of him and his family. Always trying to figure out a way to prevent any harm or difficulty crossing their path, even though it had been his fault she was exposed to harm in the first place.

When Edward had watched that horrific video, James’ message to Edward, Bella had been perfectly calm. She had seemed at peace with her sacrifice, her death at the hands of a monster, so as to prevent Edward from interacting with him.

James had been so frustrated with her manner, her patience with his long rambling story, his frustration as she didn’t react, as her eyes remained emotionless. She had seemed ready to die on all of their behalf, accepting of her fate. And she had begged Edward not to intervene, not to put himself at risk, even as she was being tortured.

That’s when he had known he should remove himself from her life, that so long as he was with her, she’d forever be in danger.

He waited until he could finally sever himself from her, knowing all the time that it would destroy her, that she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night and he wouldn’t be there to comfort her. He cut her off, forced his family to move away, just so he could stop ruining her. 

He was a vampire, as much as he hated the word, hated to truly acknowledge it. Their every feature, scent, voice, everything about his kind drew humans in, and he wondered if Bella ever would have acted the way she had, put herself in the firing line, if she hadn’t been addicted to him.

He once told her she was his personal brand of heroin, but he wondered if every vampire wasn’t just another drug to their human prey.

He thought of his cousins in Denali, and how they constantly drew men in, the original Succubi… Or the way that every human in Forks, in Knoxville, in New Orleans, in Ithaca, every place his family had ever lived, was drawn to them. 

He thought of Jessica Stanley and her sick obsession with him, her explicit fantasies… and how when he first met Bella he constantly misjudged her racing heart - assuming fear when so often it was attraction or anxiety. 

Over the past few months away from her, his thoughts had constantly come back to this idea, that perhaps if he had known her mind, he might have found something similar in Bella’s thoughts to Jessica’s repulsive ones… that perhaps the only true difference between Bella and other humans was her addictive scent, and her silent thoughts.

He still loved her, that was for certain. He could hardly change the way he felt about her, couldn’t bring himself to stop loving her despite his fears. And he hated himself for that. Hated how he was drawn to her still, that he couldn’t stop loving her, hated that he was the reason her mortal life was coming to an end. 

A parasite, that’s what he was. It was only in his nature, in every cell, every pore of his being. 

Bella was beyond reason. She had almost died because of him. And then, she had almost been turned.

So he left. He watched as she believed every word he said, and he felt comforted by the knowledge that her human feelings had never measured up to the intensity of his own.

Immortals rarely changed, but Isabella Swan’s entrance into his life had changed him irrevocably. 

He knew she could never truly understand that. Her humanity, although a blessing, and something he desired to never change about her, had been a flaw. 

As the hours passed, her skin took on a more pallid hue, her irresistible scent fading like a dying rose.

Edward contemplated, as he had once before, that it might be better to kill Bella, than to allow her to transform.

Alice couldn’t understand what had changed. 

Edward had stayed beside Bella’s bed for nearly two days, a silent vigil. Once the rest of their family arrived, they rotated through keeping him company.

Esme would sit quietly, holding Edward’s hand or brushing his hair gently.

Jasper tried to soothe his emotions with a calming aura, but the moment he left the room Edward’s despair and desperation returned in force, almost worse in contrast to the brief reprieve. 

Carlisle would talk to him, trying to reason him away from his depressive state, encouraging him to see the positives of the situation, to be grateful that in the end Bella was still alive, even if it wasn’t in a form that Edward had ever desired to see her in.

Alice would sit with him and run through the futures she saw. She could finally see a version of their future clearly, of her and Bella running through an unfamiliar forest, their skin sparkling in the dappled sunlight, bare feet crushing needles underfoot. 

She realised now that the forest she had not recognised for all this time, from her very first vision of Bella as one of them, was the forest below the cliffs of Volterra. The one she hunted in now.

She held on to this crisp future, to this version that promised their friendship would not come to an unfortunate end, that Bella would not leave them in time. 

Alice had sacrificed her freedom, temporarily, to ensure this future. She was distraught that she hadn’t seen Edwards actions, that she hadn’t prevented this tragedy that had her brother now wallowed in.

“You aren’t omniscient, I do know that.” Edward said at one point, interrupting hours of silence.

“That doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done more”

They went back to their silence. Or, Alice did. Edward still heard her thoughts.

Often, Alice felt Edward was the only member of their family other than Jasper who truly understood her. Jasper could sense her every emotion, but Edward could see her visions, in his own way, could understand her idiosyncrasies without her ever having to explain.

When Alice had first met Jasper, the only reason he hadn’t balked was because he could already sense Alice’s feelings for him, her sincerity, even with her strangeness.

When Alice had first met Edward, she had run through their futures, shown him how they would come to know each other, and he had understood her entirely without a word passing between them. As much as Jasper hadn’t balked, there was still so much she had to explain to him, and had to help him understand before they could truly just be .

Alice and Edward were the true weirdos of their family, and whilst her company most often brought him comfort, she could sense a desperate edge to him, a restlessness that made her uneasy.

In those few days, that felt more drawn out and torturous than almost any other point of her existence, Alice held on to that bright version of their future in every moment she was in Edwards company, and tried desperately not to think of the alternatives that slowly crept into the complex web of futures.

Alice couldn’t understand what had changed, but suddenly, their future spiralled into a dark, broken timeline. 

Bella dead. Edward dead. Esme distraught and depressed for millenia, Jasper gone, Alice trapped with the Volturi…

As her vision rocked her, Alice tripped over her own feet and fell to the ground, her palms creating small depressions in the dirt of the forest around her.

She didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. 

She couldn’t see what had happened, she only saw the future, not the past. 

Jasper darted over to her, helping her up. 

She looked up at him, his face contorted in pain, a mirror of the distress she felt. 

“What-”

“I don’t know, we have to go, if we do-” her knees buckled as she realised what had changed.

She recovered, and started running, Jasper following her immediately as she sprinted, pushing herself faster than she ever had.

“We have to stop Edward. He’s going to kill Bella.”

Chapter Text

Isabella Swan's heart stopped beating. 

Edward's breathing paused, the burning of her scent pooling, festering, he sucked it in again to renew the aching. 

He heard a thud - so quiet now. 

He wondered if something was wrong, but he knew Alice would have told him, that he would have seen in her mind if Bella was going to die so soon. 

If she was going to become like him so quickly. 

He moved towards her. He had asked Esme to leave the room, trying to remain undecided, to keep his thoughts and choices a step removed from his intent to… to… 

Kill her. 

He had to, he had to do it. 

There was no way to justify the monstrosity he had created. He had been blessed; not once, but twice, he had tasted her blood; he had basked so long in her company; had come to love the painful caress of her scent; her quiet mind; her musical laughter; and her stubborn brown eyes. 

She was gasping in pain, she had been on fire for nearly three days, occasionally choking out a desperate plea for him to make it stop. 

He could finally make it stop. 

He had always said he would look after her, protect her - and he could protect her from this, from the monster he had created.

He leaned towards her, running his fingers gently across her forehead, her neck, her collarbones.

Her warmth burned him, but he noted she was far cooler than usual.

Time. He was running out of time.

“Bella…” He whispered, quiet enough that nobody else would hear, “I can make it stop. I can stop the fire, the pain. I can bring an end to all of this. You don’t have to… hurt anymore.”

His hands ran through her hair carefully, oh so carefully, as he always had to be.

She had soothed slightly at his touch, his voice. Why hadn’t he spoken to her more, talked to her more in these last few hours of her humanity?

“Bella, I don’t know if you will ever understand how much I love you. How much…”

He wished he could cry. The aching, gaping wound where his heart had been was all-consuming. He imagined in an impossible future that scientists would discover black holes were just what was left behind when people had to make crushingly, devastatingly hard choices.

He was on his knees now, next to the bed, taking deep, deep breaths of her scent, holding her hand as he bowed his head to the mattress. He had lowered himself to her level, gazing at her, eyes clenched shut with pain, body rigid, her tense expression from days of prolonged agony.

Her heart thudded, ever slower. 

Her scent was ravaging, although less potent, not quite as devastating as it once had been. Bella had been a flower in bloom, and he had ruined her.

Would it be better if he just drank her blood? Or should he break her neck? Could he handle staring down at her broken body? Her blue corpse? 

The monster that he had once thought of as separate to him, that he had once tried so hard to fight, was furious with the idea that he might not taste her again, that she might grow cold, and he would not be sated once more. 

He had barely sipped from her under the clocktower, at this point did it even matter? Surely he could share one final moment of bliss with his amour, his beloved, his singer.

It was funny to him, that they always referred to humans who had this impact on them as singers. As if their blood wasn’t simply an addictive substance to them. He had once said that Bella was his own brand of heroin, and knowing the thoughts of those humans who had experienced it, he felt with certainty that this was the best possible comparison. 

The term singer implied something purer, something more artful, a specific combination in a human which sang to them, which called to them. It was only natural that so many of them gave in to their baser instincts without thought, without resistance, when they romanticised it in that way - not that most of them ever cared to resist those instincts. But Emmett, of all people, had done just that. Twice. And his memories of them had been like a knife sunk deeply between Edwards ribs, each breath more painful than the last until Emmett’s mind had finally moved on. 

He fretted, he knew Alice would be on her way by now, would have seen his decision to at least go through with it. He needed to choose what he would do, now.

He looked up at her, watching her pulse flitter across her body. As he stared at her, he felt, suddenly, like he was having an out of body experience, like he was staring down at himself from above, looking at the sorry tableau of his existence. 

Was he really going to do this? Kill this innocent, beautiful girl who had so fundamentally changed his existence? Who his own family cared for so deeply? Who he cared for… although he felt somewhat removed from the feeling.

Moments ago he would have sworn he had to go through with it, to kill her… but then he remembered all of the reasons not to, how his family would never look at him the same way, how Alice would never recover from the loss of her closest friend, her newest sister, how Esme would try to accept what had happened and yet never be able to think of him the same way again, how Carlisle would look at him in shame, not understanding how someone he had raised, how his son, could commit such a brutal murder of someone who was a member of their family. 

Murder of an innocent soul.

It felt like the strings tying him and Bella together, which had been so taut and twisted moments before, had fallen away, limp and broken… and as they did he remembered his family.

How could he let this destroy him, destroy the person he could at least sometimes be proud of, the one that his family looked at with love, could he really ruin himself in this way?

Only a few days ago he had wanted to die because he thought Bella had killed herself, but would he really kill her himself? How could he?

He pulled back from her, careening out of the room. He needed to get away from her.

Esme looked up in shock as the door flew open, catching Edwards eye as he ran.

She had been out of earshot of his whispered words, down the corridor near a window. 

How could he have… 

He couldn’t understand how he had gotten here. How had he managed to convince himself to kill the girl he had loved. To kill the girl he had uprooted his entire family to try and save the girl he had accidentally bitten. At every point of his miserable existence since he had met Bella, he had done his absolute utmost to save her, to allow her to live as normal of a life as possible. 

And as much as that normal life was over, how could he just simply take that choice away from her? How could he even consider it?

He felt at odds with the version of himself that had been in that room only moments ago. 

He couldn’t understand it, couldn’t understand this distance he now felt between himself and Bella…

He had been a lit fuse, about to explode, and then something had snuffed out the flame.

Chelsea sighed in relief.

She had managed it, she was pretty certain. She couldn’t see the future, but she had seen the severed threads between Edward and Bella. Something in them had turned in the last day, had started rotting, moulding, festering. 

She had seen it once before, when Aro killed Didyme. When love turned murderous.

She was the only one that knew it had been him. He knew that, of course. She would obviously keep it to herself. 

When she had seen what looked like the beginnings of a similar… infestation, she knew she had to act faster to intervene, and knew that she had to do her utmost to remain unnoticed. 

Aro was certain that she had greater range on her talent than Edward’s mind reading, being so much older than him, and so unnoticed by any of the Cullens, but she had still extended herself as much as she could, pushing the limits of her own power. 

The problem with the Cullens was that their threads were usually impossible to manipulate. Like titanium, their bonds were immoveable to her in many ways. She could perhaps influence the partnered ones slightly more, but something about their bonds did not allow manipulation in the same way as others of their kind.

Aro had discussed it with her at some length, they both had a suspicion it had something to do with their so-called vegetarianism. It was something that made Chelsea occasionally curious, to see what life was like, how she might be treated if she couldn’t manipulate those around her… But she could never do that, she knew that. Aro knew it too.

Whatever the reason, she had to work outside her usual talents to come up with a plan.

The girl, Bella, had similar bonds to the Cullens, although slightly less resistant to manipulation. She wondered once Bella turned if she’d be able to manipulate the girl at all. 

But thankfully, she had been able to manipulate Edward’s strands much more easily than she expected. She wondered if it was due to the nature of his attachment to the girl, or if it was because of how weak their bond had turned, cannibalising itself.

She had pushed along the festering, whilst also trying to surreptitiously snip away at the threads of Edward’s connection to the human girl.  

Aro wanted the girl, he was itching to know her talent, and so Edward would not be permitted to harm her, but Chelsea could not reveal herself to him, that would be disastrous for Aro’s plans. 

So she pushed and pushed and pushed until the fibres started to snap. One of the Guard had been tracking Alice and Jasper remotely, and as soon as Alice panickedly started heading back towards the fortress, Chelsea was informed. 

She had hacked and sawed away at the bonds, thrashing, twisting, snapping them with brute force. 

And she had done it, had stopped Edward from outright killing the girl, and watched as the threads between Alice and Edward had deteriorated, weakening more dramatically than Chelsea could have hoped.

One of the Cullens' most important relationships was strung out. What had been a taut, strong bond, unassailable, was splitting like a weary rope. Every moment that passed, it slowly snapped under the weight of itself. 

And Chelsea could only imagine the damage that Alice’s arrival and explanation to the rest of the family would do. She smiled to herself, as she walked down the corridor, towards Corin’s rooms.

She would take her leave, and allow Aro to do his own meddling… lest she show her hand too soon.

Chapter Text

Pain was existence. 

Existence was pain.

I had never felt so much of it in my fleeting, mortal existence. What I felt now was infinite. 

The first time I had ever been bitten by a vampire, I had thought I understood why the transformation was such a vivid memory for all the Cullens.

The fire in my veins had been unlike anything I’d ever experienced. 

Through the pain, I had begged for Edward, for Carlisle, for anyone to make it stop, for them to put out the fire. 

The shattered mirrors, glass and aluminum, had riddled my body, distorted reflections thrown back of my tortured form. The venom had made the pain of it all, of my broken leg, my mangled head, wither in comparison.

But, though my mortal gripes had faded in the venom’s presence, they had not been entirely consumed by it.

I had held on to a sense of awareness, I had fought.

And then, the relief of the venom washing out of my veins had made me forgetful. And so had the quiet ecstasy of a sleepy oblivion. I had awoken, days later, body battered and broken, but healing, and my last memory had been of Edward’s cool arms cradling me as I faded away from consciousness.

It had all been so very simple, that time.

Now? If I had believed in a god, I don’t think I would want to anymore.

I knew that time was passing, but I couldn’t feel it, couldn’t perceive it.

There was nothing to fight against. Pain went on, unending, unrelenting. I felt with some certainty that I wanted to die, that I wanted this to end, that no moment of my measly existence had been worth this torture. I could feel in my heart that I wanted to argue with myself, that I wanted to hold on to Edward, Jacob, Charlie, Alice, Renee, Carlisle, Emmett, Esme… Hell, even Jasper and Rosalie… 

But I also wanted to laugh at her, at the girl that cared and felt so deeply, who had tried so hard to hold on for the past months, who had pushed and pushed against that incessant darkness.

It was laughable, because I had held on, just, to find myself now wishing I had let go.

I was Atlas, unable to hold up the heavens any longer, the sky crushing, bruising, bloodying, permeating every fibre, every cell, the very soul of my being. 

Time whispered to me, like a subtle current in the deep sea. Voices faded in and out… Snatches of words here and there, but not enough to make sense.

Then… there were consistent breaths, their rhythmic sound faded in and out of my perception, I tried to hold on to them, a lifeline in the murk of my perception. Edward’s breathing had soothed me to sleep in the past, and I desperately wished that these breaths would soothe me to a peaceful abyss now.

Everything outside of the pain was muted. The stabbing pin pricks across my entire being demanded my attention. I wanted to beg for relief, but I knew that nobody was going to save me from this.

I held myself as still as I could now, my earlier shaking and crying and whimpering had done me no good, but concentrating on keeping still, on biting my tongue, on not hurting others by virtue of my own pain, that was something I could do.

I thought, sometimes, in near coherent ways. I thought of Rosalie, explaining to me how she had felt it did no good to scream. I thought of Carlisle, keeping quiet to avoid discovery during his own transformation. With a sense of confidence, I knew that I now understood them on a more fundamental level.

I wanted to die. I had never felt so strongly about it, so passionate. 

Rosalie had once described lying in the gutter, hoping for Death to claim her, desperate to move on from her mortal life.

In the months before Jacob, the months that had faded into nothing, I had never desired death. I only felt that she was a soothing and silent companion, a constant that I could rely on.

Everything around me had been so green, so damp, all mould and rot and wild. Death’s hands working slowly to claim back the abundance of life around her. It comforted me, to know that one day I would die, that I would peacefully depart from existence, and that Edward would go on forever.

Death called, screamed and clawed at me now, furious and defiant. I had never desired so desperately for her. My tears had stopped flowing some time ago, I had thought, but I felt them again through the pain, a gentle and cold caress across my cheeks, my neck, my collarbones.

Then a voice, a promise in the dark, something I couldn’t understand, but I felt soothed by it.

It disappeared. The sounds of breathing went too.

I floated down, down into a roiling ocean. 

Burning like the breath of salt water in lungs, aching and devastation and loss greater than the shape Edward had left behind in those months. It went on. 

In the space between two laboured breaths, something shifted. An awareness of my body came back to me - my muscles locked, stiff and still, charred but cooling, and there… the whisper of sheets on my bare skin.

I counted the throbbing, burning beats that my heart propelled forwards. It was now a frantic drumbeat, ratcheting up from it’s previously sluggish pace. 

I counted other things too - the sounds of life in the distance, distorted and echoing, but perceptible. Footsteps slapping on stone, peals of laughter, coins clattering down onto countertops, words here and there from conversations in languages I didn’t know.

I counted and counted and counted.

I felt a breeze whispering a caress over my burning, sweat slicked skin, heard doors close, open, light switches flicked, footsteps echoed, and I counted the breaths of whoever was nearby. 

“Do you know where he went?” 

So quiet, but I heard, comprehended in some limited capacity.

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. He’s not coming back.”

”You don’t mean…”

”Ever. At least, not yet.”

I couldn’t tell if whoever spoke was trying to be intentionally cryptic. I wondered who they could be talking about - Edward? Had something happened to him?

But there was no way he would leave me, not again, not after…

I thought to myself that something must have happened with Jacob, that he had found out about me, and— oh!

The beating of my heart had suddenly accelerated to a hummingbird pace, and felt HOT. Hotter than anything else, hotter than the acid I had lay submerged in for all this time. 

My awareness was pulled back in. It felt like the reverse of frostbite, a heat so cataclysmic that everything else paled in comparison, a fire that was so acute it pulled all the rest of the warm from my body. My extremities felt ice-cold in comparison.

In the absence of the fire in my fingers, the momentary reprieve of perceivable pain from my extremities, I twitched in response. My hands spasmed urgently, and my body curled out, back arching, trying to get the heat, the roaring furnace of my heart, away. 

There were no words around me any more, no sounds, nothing but the roaring rhythm of my heart, a drumming that resounded in my chest. 

boom. boom. boom. boom. boom.

My arms and legs grew colder, my chest a supernova. 

boom. boom. boom.

A jet engine, propelling me upwards, a high keening wail forced from my lips. 

boom.

boom.

BOOM.

An echoing silence. 

No breaths, no sound, nothing.

A sensation like pins and needles or goosebumps crossed my skin, sound rushing towards me, a tidal wave of feeling coming over me.

I realised with a delayed sense of shock that the pain was gone. What I felt now was the quiet bliss of a painless existence. 

With a shocked gasp I opened my eyes, and the world was bathed in glorious light.

I could see everything. The granules of rock in the sandstone ceiling above me, every light and shadow in the fibres of the curtains around me, every nick and scratch in the dark wooden bedpost, every mote of dust in the air, floating gently on currents I had never observed, a vortex swirling above my parted lips, the distant taste of dust and rock and something sweet and fresh, like a flowery perfume.

It felt like I had never really looked at the world, never truly tasted or smelled it, never truly seen. 

The blindness of my past perception made me exhale a shocked laugh, and then I inhaled again. 

I realised with wonder that… there was no relief with the inhale, no easing of the strange yawning, gaping hunger within me, only habit had made me breathe in again.

And yet, there was still a desire there, a want to taste. I sucked in more. 

Now that I really paid attention to it, I could taste everything. 

The cottony, clean scent of the sheets that lay under me, the crisp, earth of a distant forest, and then… that beautiful light scent, fresh and flowery. I searched through my mind to try and categorise it… jasmine, freesia, violet, hyacinth, roses and daisies and buttercups? No. I moved on in my mind, searching at light-speed, until-

“Bella?” A musical voice, unlike any I had ever heard. It had a fairy-like quality to it, breathy and iridescent, ephemeral.

And I had no idea who it belonged to.

As soon as I thought to move, I found myself standing. In the quarter of a second it took me to shift from where I had lay in the bed, I took in the rest of the room: the chandelier, crystals sending sparkling rainbows scattered across the floor; the ancient tapestry on the wall, its fibres artfully arranged, the contrasting textures and styles of embroidery both overwhelming and comforting; the dark french doors leading to a small balcony; the twinkle of stars in the distance; the dark green and red velvet armchairs; an overturned copy of The Book Thief on a wooden coffee table; every detail, shadow, scratch and reflection completely processed, faster than a blink… did I even need to blink anymore?

And as I stood, and took this all in, and turned towards the person who had addressed me, I reflexively moved to defend myself from the unfamiliar voice - without any intention to do so. 

But by the time I found myself in position, I had processed the view before me, the unfamiliar voice, and I launched forward at once - Alice!

As I moved, I took in the way she held herself still, in a clearly non-threatening stance, her posture open, inviting. She did not open her arms to my hug, but she clearly welcomed it. 

As I reached her, she rocked back slightly and laughed, a high, tinkling sound that made me think of ice, the tone pure and soothing to my ears. 

Hugging her was warm, soft…… gentle?

It took me only a quarter of a millisecond to realise why it felt wrong.

We were the same. 

She no longer felt like cool marble to my human flesh, we were hewn from the same material, indestructible. 

My now-still heart soared with joy. 

It had been perhaps a second that this all took place in, and still I could process the room around me, every grain of wood, every fibre of fabric, every ray of light, every shadow.

The one time my eyes had been open as Edward ran through the forest with me on his back, I had almost fainted - now it felt like the connection between my brain and body was fibre optic, instantaneous, and I took in the world immediately. The idea of being overwhelmed by sensation was laughable, now.

I felt…. 

Good, so good.

Alive. I had never seen the world this way, and yet…

There was a gaping, yawning abyss.

A hunger. 

I stepped back from Alice’s warm touch, and saw her knowing look. 

Of course she knew, she always knew. 

The look on my face gave her the cue for her line, I didn’t even need to ask the question I intended to.

“You’re even easier to read now” she said, “because we’re the same.”

She grabbed my hand, her warm touch pulling me toward the door of the room with a smile.

“Let’s find you something to eat”.