Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Donnie scratched at his desk with his nail; he carved small divots into the old wood. It was his third class for this particular school day but he wasn't really interested in paying attention to the lesson. He could hear the teacher talking but was not listening to his words.

“How are we doing, Mr. Hamato,” the teacher asked as he came to stand next to the turtle's desk.

Donnie whipped his head up to face him. The teacher’s triangular face stared back down at the turtle, eyes tracing his skinny frame. The teacher’s many tentacle arms sat crossed politely behind his back. A smile on his face.

Donnie looked at the work packet in his desk then sat up. “Um…” he stuttered, unable to reply.

Mr. Calimar bent down closer, intruding on Donnie’s personal bubble. He eyed the half blank worksheet, nodded, then looked to the turtle. “It looks like you are having a bit of difficulty understanding the lesson topic. Would you like some extra help after class?” The teacher’s tentacle came to rest on Donnie’s back, slightly bunching a loose piece of the turtle's sweater.

Donnie shivered and for a moment his eyes widened then returned to normal. He knew what his teacher meant, what he really meant and frankly Donnie found it abhorrent what his teacher was suggesting. He peered up at Mr. Calimar through his thick framed glasses, opening his mouth to say “no”, but instead said “Okay.” with a nod.

Mr. Calimar grinned in a way only a cephalopod yokai could. “Excellent! You can come by my classroom during lunch. I don't have anything else scheduled so we can focus on helping you with your work.” His tentacle tightened its grip; to anyone else it looked innocent enough.

Donnie squirmed in his seat and felt his throat tighten. He squeaked out a “Yes, sir.” and the tentacle’s grip disappeared.

Mr. Calimar nodded. “Lovely. I will see you at lunch then.” He smiled and moved back to the blackboard to continue his lesson. 

A student next to him leaned over and whispered, “Teacher’s pet,” as a snide remark.

Donnie pulled the large sweater he was wearing down further over his legs and pulled the sleeves over his hands, hugging himself. He pressed his leg's together, trying to make himself as small as possible. He only had one class period after this one before lunch.

The lesson went on until the bell rang which made Donnie jump from how deep he was in thought.

Mr. Calimar glanced at the clock, then at his students. “Alright, go on to your next class everyone. And Mr. Hamato do not forget, my classroom, lunch.”

Donnie nodded in silent response and forced a smile as he pulled his bag on and headed out the door. A couple students shoved him as they walked past, thrusting the softshell into the wall. They chuckled as they went onward and threw teasing glances at him over their shoulders.

Donnie brushed himself off and straightened his glasses. He wasn't a fighter by any means so that plus his unusually small size and his… accidents made him a prime target for bullies. It was a normal day when he was pushed and teased by other yokai in his school. It was a routine for him at this point.

He trudged through the school towards his locker, unlocked it. Donnie needed to grab a book for his next class, his favorite class, chemistry. It was just about the only part of his school life that he actually found himself enjoying, and the teacher was an added bonus. He emptied out his backpack of things from his last class and replaced them with his chemistry things, closed his locker and made his way there.

When he entered the classroom the teacher wasn't there yet. Students in the room took this opportunity to fool around and chat while they waited.

Donnie kept to the edge of the room as he found his place, third row second seat. He quietly sat down and patiently waited. He took out his chemistry book and flipped it open, opting to do some reading while he waited.

“What’cha reading?”

Donnie looked and caught a yokai standing over him. His name was Paul, and he was an insect of some kind; a tough outer body and wings on his back. He was taller than the softshell by at least two feet. His mandibles clicked as he spoke.

“Just the chemistry textbook,” Donnie replied quietly.

Paul chuffed. “Why?”

Donnie glanced away nervously. “I-- I like chemistry…”

Paul pursed his lips and nodded. He stood up straight and glanced about the room. “Oh, okay, okay. Well, then, you wouldn't mind if I took a look? It's so interesting after all, right?” Before Donnie could protest the yokai snatched up his textbook and began flipping through the pages. He skimmed a page then flipped and skimmed some more.

“The writing in this is so tiny I can barely read it.” Paul looked at Donnie, grinned, then said, “Maybe it's just my eyes, mind if I try your glasses? Maybe they'll help me.” Once again, Donnie was unable to protest before his glasses were pulled off his face. The room became a blur as the turtle squinted to see.

Paul put the small glasses on his face and continued to pretend to read the textbook. He skimmed another page for a moment then shook his head. “Nah, still boring even with glasses on.”

Donnie squirmed in his seat. “Then can I have my things back, please?”

“I guess.” He dropped the textbook back on the desk. “If you can jump high enough.” The yokai held his hand up over Donnie with his glasses.

Donnie glared at the blurry insect then at his blurry glasses. He swallowed nervously then jumped and swiped at them, missing them just barely.

“Oops. Almost had them. Try again,” Paul teased.

Donnie stood up in his chair this time and jumped again, but the bully moved his hand and took a step back.

“Not quite!”

Donnie jumped again, this time using both hands to try and grab his glasses back; his feet landed on the floor. But each time he tried the yokai would move out of the way. The bully led the softshell around the classroom as he pitifully tried to reclaim his belonging.

Donnie could hear other students in the room snicker as they watched, and that only made him further embarrassed. He could feel as his face got hot and his eyes began to well up.

“Give them back!” Donnie cried as he jumped again and missed again.

The bully pushed Donnie back by his face and laughed as he took another step back. “You gotta catch them first!”

Donnie stumbled back, tears dropped from his eyes in frustration. He wanted to scream and shout so bad but didn't want to be embarrassed further; the other students could already see him crying. His body felt like it was going to explode as he vibrated. Donnie felt paralyzed where he stood, too many decisions in his head.

Finally, the teacher, Ms. Lily walked in and put a stop to it. “Paul!” she shouted, making the bully freeze and meet her gaze.

Paul groaned and rolled his eyes before dropping the glasses into Donnie’s hands. The softshell quickly slipped them back on, blinked as his vision came back and saw all the faces looking at him. He looked away, held himself with one arm and quickly turned to go back to his seat.

“Donnie, you okay?” Ms. Lily asked as she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

The softshell looked up at her wolf face, soft and caring. Most unlike a wolf Donnie had thought. He nodded without a word then took his seat again. Ms. Lily confused Donnie the most out of his teachers; she never really asked anything of Donnie, nothing different from the other students at least. Not like Mr. Calimar. Yet she was so kind to him. He didn't stand out in the slightest and it made Donnie’s head hurt trying to figure her out.

The teacher watched him as he sat down then took her spot at the front of the class. She looked over the room and smiled. “Now then, everyone open your textbooks to page 345 and we'll get started.”

Donnie flipped open his textbook to the mentioned page, hand shaking, and skimmed it. He found it to be something fun and creeped a smile over his lips. He looked up and no one was staring at him anymore and that helped soothe his nerves and allow him to focus back to the class work.

Chemistry class went by quickly as usual, and despite the rough start Donnie had fun. The bell rang and students immediately began to file out of the room. Donnie collected up his things and headed for the door before being stopped by Ms. Lily.

“You okay, Donnie?” she asked, hand on his shoulder.

Donnie glitches in surprise at her touch, followed her hand up to her face, nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I'm alright.”

“You sure? I know Paul picks on you a lot. I can send him to the principal’s office if--”

“No, it's okay.” Donnie spoke quickly with an equally quick head shake. “It's not that big a deal.”

Ms. Lily sighed. She looked at him with a kind of melancholy, then said: “Okay. Now go on to lunch, you look hungry.”

Donnie bit his lip and nodded, spinning around to leave. The truth was, of course he was hungry. He was almost always hungry, but he liked it that way, it was good to be hungry for him. Because if he was hungry then he hasn't eaten, and if he hasn't eaten then he won't grow, and he didn't want to grow or get big because that was bad.

Donnie headed in the direction of the cafeteria then stopped upon remembering he was supposed to spend his lunch period with Mr. Calimar to help him with his work. He he stood there for a mostly, stepping in place as he fought to make a decision. He didn't have to go to Mr. Calimar’s room, it wasn't actually required. It was just an option for help with his work. That's all it was, just some help.

He rubbed his face in frustration then spun around to go to the classroom as if his body seemed to move on its own. There was no light coming from the small window on the door into the room and he wondered if his teacher was even there. He pulled at the handle and it was unlocked, entered the room and closed it behind him. He tiptoed inside and looked around for his teacher.

“Good to see you came, Mr. Hamato.”

Donnie jumped and spun around, his teacher was standing behind the door. The cephalopod held his key in his hand and brought it to the door, locking it. “So our learning is not disturbed.” He grinned and Donnie hated but couldn't move away.

Mr. Calimar came up to the softshell; Donnie coming up only just above his waist in height. He brought a tentacle up to Donnie’s cheek and held it there. The tentacle wrapped around Donnie’s head until its tip met the turtle’s lips.

He's moving fast today. Donnie thought, and hopefully they would be done soon. He opened his mouth and the slimey appendage entered and he hated it. Donnie gagged as it touched his throat, retracted in response, and entered again.

Mr. Calimar hummed pleasedly as he watched. A second of his tentacles snakes down his own body, gripping at his crotch. Donnie could see a bulge had formed there through his half opened eyes.

Really fast.

Calimar removed his tentacle from Donnie’s mouth letting the softshell cough for a moment, then said: “Did you bring your work packet with you?”

Donnie nodded and pulled it from his backpack and handed it to Calimar.

The cephalopod took it and flipped through the stapled pages. As he did so a pair of his tentacles pulled Donnie closer, pressing his crotch into the younger’s face.

Donnie looked up at him then back at his crotch. He moved his hands slowly to his teacher’s belt, unfastened it. He unzipped the fly of his teacher’s pants and exposed the underwear underneath. Donnie swallowed then pulled down Calimar’s underwear so his cock appeared.

The tentacle-like genital throbbed in the air, coated in its own slick and slime. Donnie has barely opened his mouth as it was shoved in entirely. He gagged on it as he felt it slither and move. The tentacles on the back of his head kept him in place.

“Shh, shh,” Calimar cooed, looking away from the pages in his tentacle. “Gotta stay quiet, Donatello.

Donnie breathed through his nose and stopped gagging. Now acclimated to the cock he began to suck around it. Calimar loosened his grip and allowed the softshell to bod his head. Donnie pulled the cock from his mouth entirely, licked it from base to tip, kissed the head, then returned it to his throat.

Calimar watched avidly. “Good boy. You know just what I like.”

Donnie took the adult yokai down his throat. Saliva leaked down his chin as he slobbered around the moving member. This wasn't his first time servicing Mr. Calimar and it was unlikely to be the last. Donnie couldn't quite remember how it started, but no matter how wrong or inappropriate he believed it to be anytime his teacher offered he accepted without hesitation. He wasn't proud of what he did. More often than not at the end of it he'd just feel gross and icky, but for that short period while it happened he felt so good. All his issues and troubles disappeared; his difficult school life, his less than ideal home life, the memories of his father, all gone whenever someone was on him.

Calimar moaned, then pushed Donnie's head off. His cock rested against the softshell’s cheek as he looked up at the cephalopod with heavy breath. “Think you are ready?” he said, setting the work packet on his desk.

Donnie nodded silently.

Calimar picked up the small turtle from where he stood and sat him on the back of his large desk. Donnie leaned back as the teacher pulled up his sweater, revealing his thin frame. His ribs far too visible, but Calimar didn't seem to care.

The cephalopod grinned as he brought his lips to kiss at the younger’s chest, raking his tongue along protruding ribs. With a free tentacle he reached for the hem of Donnie’s shorts and pulled them down.

Donnie whimpered as he felt the cool air on his lower half and his teacher’s lips on his chest. He was pushed down onto his back as Calimar stood between his legs.

The teacher stood upright and eyed Donnie’s exposed body, his young pussy already gaping. “Eager?” Calimar teased without expecting an answer.

Donnie just whimpered as he shut his eyes. He felt the warm tip of his teacher’s cock against his labia and felt as if pushed forward into him. He gasped as it entered, back arching with the feeling.

Calimar laughed at his student, pleased he could get such a reaction out of him. He began to thrust slowly into the turtle, their hips meeting with rhythm. He held Donnie by the thighs and waist, his many tentacles gripping the softshell tightly.

Donnie braced himself on the desk as it moved under him, the cold wood sent a chill up his exposed shell. Small gasps and moans escaped his lips as he felt his teacher fill out inside him. His tail twitched at the feeling, a mix of pleasure and discomfort. The tip of his cock poked out from his tail’s slit.

Calimar noticed Donnie’s arousal and pulled out before slamming back in hard. Donnie yelped and the cephalopod slapped a tentacle over his mouth. “I told you to be quiet. You should not disobey your teachers, Donatello.” He increased the power of his thrust, slamming into the turtle’s waist roughly and holding his mouth shut.

Donnie moaned loudly into his teacher’s tentacle, his cries equally muffled. It hurt, but his cock was dropping so clearly there was pleasure to be felt. His mind slowly went blank as his back arched in euphoria. Through half lidded eyes Donnie stared up at his teacher, the cephalopod’s form morphed and changed, he seemed to grow bigger and larger. Donnie’s body, likewise, began to shrink and feel smaller and smaller. His mind became fuzzy and it became hard to focus. He reached out his arms for the older, making a grabbing motion with his hands.

Calimar smiled and brought the turtle up, wrapping him in a close embrace. “Are you going to be quiet, Donatello?” he whispered in Donnie’s ear.

“Mm-hmm,” Donnie replied.

“Good boy,” he said before continuing his brutal pace. “You are my favorite student, you know that? So obedient, so smart. Such a mature boy.”

Donnie hugged his teacher tightly as he fought to keep his moans quiet. Cold tears trailed down his cheeks as he fought back sobs. “P… papa…” he moaned quietly.

Calimar grunted roughly as he neared his end. He slammed into the student’s pussy without respite. His tentacles snaked around Donnie’s sensitive, soft, leathery shell which brought out further sounds from the turtle.

Donnie felt his own cock twitching as he was getting close himself, fully dropped and leaking. His slit leaked slick down his base and onto the floor beneath them both. His back arched as his teacher's touches, his arm wrapping tighter around the cephalopod. Donnie’s eyes stayed tightly shut through it all as he felt Calimar finally break.

Calimar grunted into Donnie’s ear as he came, flooding the softshell’s womb with his cum. Hot ropes lined the insides of the turtle.

Donnie came at the same time. His small body convulsed as his cock bounced with his orgasm, shooting his small load onto the floor. It felt incredible as it hit him, and he rocked his hips involuntarily to ride it out. He could feel Calimar's cum churning inside him from the cephalopod’s thrusts. Donnie didn't want it to end, just to have this euphoria forever. He pinched his lips together tightly to keep himself quiet as his orgasm waved over him and came back down. 

The room was full of stink and quiet breathing. Calimar whispered something into Donnie’s ear but Donnie didn't hear. His mind was still catching back up to the present.

The two yokai, teacher and student, clung to each other for moments longer before the older pulled out. Donnie winced as he was left empty and warm cum leaked down his thigh. Calimar lowered him down to the floor where he stumbled and leaned against the desk for support.

“You did such a good job, Donatello. I am so proud of you.” Calimar coaxed the softshell’s face back to his cock and the adolescent turtle understood and took it into his mouth to suckle on it, cleaning it of their combined fluids.

Donnie groaned at the sour, bitter taste of the fluid but held himself steady. Then when it was clean his teacher removed the member from his mouth with a pop. He stuck his tongue out in disgust.

Calimar petted the turtle’s head then put his cock back in his pants and closed them back up. He went over to the door and unlocked it. “You may go now. Do not forget your things.”

Donnie swallowed the bitterness in his mouth and his mouth felt like cotton. He pulled his shorts back on, picked up his bag, and left the room. Mr. Calimar shut it behind him. His legs hurt and his waist hurt more. The crotch of his shorts were getting wet and his legs were shaking, thankfully his sweater went down to the top of his knees.

Donnie wiped his face of tear marks and sniffled as he did his best to hide his limping toward the cafeteria. He still had some time left before lunch was over.

The journey was hard, the hallways seemed so long to him. The walls went higher and higher above him and he had to lean against one to keep himself upright.

He turned a corner and he was in the cafeteria; it was still full of people. He stayed against the wall as he made his way into the kitchen. The room went on forever and the combined voices of all the students was thunder in his ears; he quickly pulled on his headphones to dampen the sound.

The kitchen was quieter thankfully. He strolled past the trays of food, most of which were empty by now but he didn't mind. He continued past and went to a small table near the line exit. On it was a small basket of wheat cracker packets; two per packet. He grabbed one packet and left, returning to the thunder.

With his headphones still on, he searched the large room for an isolated area, saw a tall table in a far corner of the room. He went to it, sat his bag down next to his chair before seating himself. It was a struggle to pull himself into the seat, the chair seemed twice his size.

Donnie opened the packet of crackers and removed one. He held it in both hands then brought it to his lips. It filled his mouth, he stuck his tongue out slightly to make room. Donnie smacked his lips softly around the salted wafer trying his best to dissolve and chew it; it wasn't this hard yesterday. The taste of it thankfully replaced the bitterness from Mr. Calimar.

Finally a piece broke off into his mouth and he made a noise of happiness. He chewed it and swallowed. What a big bite. He thought. Donnie put the cracker back in his mouth and lapped around it again and slowly it became easier. Donnie wiggled in his chair feeling like such a big kid.

He ate the second cracker much the same way, with each successful bite making him feel giddy; like when Papa was proud of him. When he was finished his tummy felt full. He rubbed his stomach and grinned ear to ear, kicking his legs idly in his seat. Donnie was so proud of himself for eating it all and not more than he should. 

With his lunch finished he pulled a book from his backpack and opened it to the last place he'd stopped. The words on the page were super big and his head was still a little fuzzy, so he sounded then out slowly one and one and eventually figured them out. He giddily kicked his legs at his success, and over time his mind was less fuzzy and the words easier to read. He was such a smart boy.

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch. Donnie looked up and saw the other students moving from their seats. He marked where he stopped and placed the book back in his bag; he'd been able to read three chapters right there, and joined the crowd to head to his next class.

He smacked his lips, those crackers had really dried his mouth. But he passed on the water fountain, not watching to drink anything for fear of an accident occurring.

His next classes went as usual, and the rest of the day was uneventful as well, and when school was out he left with the crowd.

Donnie waited at a bus stop just one block down from the school before the bus arrived; he boarded, taking a solitary seat in the back until his stop came. He lived across the city in a moderate sized apartment in the Hidden City. It wasn't grand, but it comfortably fit him and his three older brothers.

They had moved them to the underground city after Papa died. Given their ages at the time Raph saw it as the best decision for all their safety. Living in a place without the need to hide all the time.

Donnie crossed a street before turning onto a thin sidewalk. He saw his home up ahead and knew he'd have to hide his limp better when he got home because he didn't want them asking questions he was too embarrassed to answer.

He turned the knob and it was unlocked. Entering he crossed the short hallway and stopped in a door frame and spotted Leo sleeping on the couch, the tv on with the volume turned low. He snuck up to his older brother and watched him for a moment. The slider was still dressed in his waiter uniform; red waist apron and all. Leo was three years older than Donnie and worked at Run of the Mill Pizza, a yokai restaurant hidden on the surface. And from the looks of it his shift had been a busy one.

A noise from the kitchen caught Donnie’s attention next. He moved from the living room to the kitchen, peeked his head inside and spotted Mikey at the stove as usual making dinner. Mikey was also three years older than Donnie, but slightly younger than Leo. He stayed at home doing house work while the rest were at work and school. He too was wearing an apron, underneath of which he wore a pair of sweatpants.

Donnie didn't say anything as he watched his brother cook before slinking back away and heading up to his own room. It seemed that Raph, the oldest of the four and four years older than Donnie, hadn't come back from work yet. Which was a normal occurrence, he worked several oddball jobs around the Hidden City which usually kept him out later than the rest. Because of which left Leo to be the “parent” more often than not. Not that either of the eldests were thrilled about it, but the slider stepped up anyway.

Once in his room Donnie slung off his backpack and flopped down onto his bed. His sore legs and backside thanked him plenty. It was finally the weekend, two days off from school and Donnie was thrilled. No more work, no more bullies, no more teachers .

Donnie became vividly aware of the soaked wetness between his legs. He got out of bed and quickly pulled off his shorts, tossing them into a hamper. He grabbed a pack of wet wipes off a desk in his room before sitting back on his bed. Donnie leaned back, spreading his legs as he went to wipe up the leaking fluid. He hiss in through his teeth at the contact.

He forced himself to push it out. The thick cum poured out of his cunt as he cleaned. It was hard not to cry as it kept coming, an unending stream of his teacher’s orgasm exiting his legs, a physical embodiment of his shame. A small pile of used wipes began to grow at the foot of his bed as he tossed them one after another.

Flecks of red and pink sprinkled in with the white as it left him, and Donnie did all but sob loudly as he cleaned himself.

I'm disgusting. He thought to himself.

He hated himself, especially when he let himself get fucked like he does. He wished his body didn't crave it, need it, think about it every second of every day. Even now as he cried to himself quietly in his room his mind swirled with images of sexual interactions. He shook his head to clear them but it didn't help. They stuck to his brain like velcro and it made him feel perverted.

Already his body was reacting to what his mind conjured up, his cock already throbbing within his slit in a craving. Even outside of school he couldn't stop himself. That's why he had the wet wipes in his room in the first place, to clean up the messes he brings home inside himself.

He reached between his legs and his fingers brushed the lips of his tail. He hissed in pleasure and felt it pull at him more. He stopped as a knock at his door made him jump. “What?” he hissed.

“Chill, bro.” It was Leo. “Dinner’s ready. Just letting you know.”

“Okay.”

Leo retreated from the door and Donnie couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief at his absence. It was replaced with a new anxiety, the fear of another family dinner. Already he was half mast and he knew it wouldn't go down.

Donnie leaned back on his bed. He grazed his pussy with his fingers and his body felt burning hot. He parted his labia as his fingers entered him. Donnie arched his back as pleasure hit. With his other hand he reached for his dropping cock and began to stroke it, it finished dropping the rest of the way and he gasped a moan.

He thrust his fingers deeper inside himself. He could still feel some of his teacher’s cum coating his insides. It brought back images of Mr. Calimar inside him, his body tingled at the remembrance. Donnie stroked himself faster as his mind raced. He felt his orgasm peaking and climaxed.

Donnie’s chest heaved. For a moment he felt relief at being finished, then felt his body ignite in need again. His relief was replaced with shame as his cock rehardened and his fingers dipped inside himself once more. Donnie changed positions, moving onto his stomach with his backside lifted as he went. He drooled onto his blanket as he rode a new emerging orgasm, reached it, felt it shoot onto his bed.

Shame hit him again, and with it quickly came more desire. He went and came again, and again, and again. Each one more intense than the last and each one requiring more and more time. And he knew he should stop but couldn't. Donnie bucked his hips into his hands and let out a tired moan. Just as he reached another orgasm another knock at his door, this time harder than before.

Donnie jumped in shock and turned to the door. “Yes?”

“Donnie. Dinner. I'm not telling you again,” Leo said.

Donnie swallowed nervously. “O-okay.”

Leo left and Donnie sat up. He could feel his face was flush and saw the mess of cum and slick on his bed. He groaned in disappointment, grabbed his wet wipes once more and did his best to clean what he could. Once finished he put on a new pair of shorts.

Donnie returned to the kitchen, trying to ignore the returning sexual thoughts in his mind. He stopped in the doorway; Mikey was already at the table eating while Leo piled food onto his plate.

Mikey looked up from his plate and caught Donnie in his eyesight. “Glad you finally decided to join us,” he said sarcastically. “You gonna actually eat what I made tonight, or are you going to be picky again.”

Donnie twisted the bottom of his sweater in his hands, pulling it down in embarrassment. “I'm, um… not really hungry…”

“Mm-hm,” Mikey replied as he took another bite.

Leo took his seat at the table next to Mikey. "You could at least just try it.”

Again Donnie pulled at his sweater. He glanced at the hot meal on the stove and felt his stomach twist. The longer he looked at it the farther away it seemed; a mountainous trek just for a meal. It seems impossible to get there.

Leo chewed his bite, swallowed, then said: “Just one bite, Donnie. One bite and you can go back up to your room and do whatever it is you do.”

Mikey looked up at Donnie, back at Leo, then in an apathetic voice: “Leo, don't have to force him. I don't wanna hear him whine.”

Leo turned to the box turtle. "Dad isn't here anymore to baby him. So he can at least be a grown up and take a bite.” Leo pushed a chair out from the table and motioned for Donnie to sit in it.

The softshell looked between Leo and the chair and slowly moved closer and sat in it. His backside was still sore and he hissed quietly.

Leo stabbed at the food on his plate with his fork, creating a manageable bite. He then held it out to Donnie waiting for him to take him.

“I ate at school,” Donnie tried to say.

“That was lunch. This is dinner. Take a bite.”

Donnie looked at the fork, then at Mikey. The box turtle rolled his eyes before he took a bite of his own meal, trying to ignore his younger brother. Donnie looked back at the fork. He reached for it with a shaky hand, took it from his brother’s grip, and brought it up to his mouth. The softshell swallowed his spit then opened his mouth slowly and edged the utensil into his mouth.

The heat of the food hit his tongue and he  gasped. His mouth shook as he tried to close it. His body felt fuzzy and his head felt like it was shrinking. He squinted his eyes shut tight to try and fight it but couldn't, he hated feeling small around his family, it was one of the reasons they had always excluded him when they were younger. The sweater he was wearing became a blanket that covered him from top to bottom and the weight of it made him feel slow. 

Leo was watching him intently, he could feel the slider's eyes burning on him. Mikey was content with not paying attention and leaving the parenting to Leo.

Donnie gave a whine as his lips wrapped around the fork. He sat there for a moment unmoving with the utensil sitting on his tongue. It felt ginormous in him, like his jaw ached just to fit around the fork. He squeezed his grip as if about to pull the fork back out of his mouth when a dripping sound hit all three of their ears. Donnie felt a growing warmth in his seat and froze.

Leo sniffed the air, looked down at Donnie’s seat and reeled back. “Oh-- Donnie!” He stood up and back slightly.

Mikey looked up from his plate and saw what Leo’s was seeing; the puddle of urine seeping from Donnie’s seat onto the floor. He groaned in a loud, exaggerated manner before standing up as well and went to grab the paper towels.

Donnie immediately dropped the fork still with the food on the end of it to the floor. He pressed his legs together as if it would keep the puddle under him from spreading and began to cry as his brother pulled him off the chair.

“Donnie, come on!” Leo chastised. “Again? You're too old for this.”

Mikey returned with paper towels and threw them onto the chair. The yellow liquid soaked into them. Mikey threw some towels onto the floor and began to wipe it up while mumbling under his breath.

Leo pulled Donnie by the arm across the kitchen, the softshell whimpering.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Donnie cried as his brother dragged him. His knees buckled and he covered his face with his free arm. The words felt large on his lips, like each letter stretched every muscle of his mouth to form. His legs felt like they dangled in the air as Leo held him, the world growing bigger around him.

“I know that you're sorry, Donnie, but you're too old to be pissing yourself! You're fourteen! You should have outgrown this by now!” Leo said.

Donnie wiped his face with his sleeve. “I- I didn't mean to-- I couldn't help it! I- I don't know-- I got scared!”

Leo pinched the bridge of his beak and sighed. “All this because I just asked you to try the food Mikey made.”

Donnie clenched his fists. He suddenly felt angry and wasn't sure why. Leo was right technically, all he'd asked of Donnie was for him to take one bite. It shouldn't have seemed unreasonable. But Donnie’s head hurt to think about it critically.

“I said I didn't want it!” He stomped his foot and stared angrily up at his brother with tears in his eyes. The slider towered over him like a mountain, casting his shadow over Donnie.

“No, you do not get to yell at me and act like a brat!” Leo said harshly. “Dad isn't here anymore to feed you and baby you. You are a young adult, you can feed yourself!”

“But I don't want to eat your stupid dinner!” Donnie stomped his foot again.

“You never eat dinner! You never eat dinner with us! You always have an excuse! You never eat your lunches either, you always leave them at home. Mikey makes them for you himself and you just let them go to waste!”

“I didn't ask him to make me lunch!” Donnie stomped his foot. He was shaking now.

“It's called being a good brother!” Leo yelled. “Something you don't seem to know anything about! I thought all of this was just a phase since Dad died but it's been two years!”

Donnie started to make whining sounds as he pulled at Leo’s hold on his arm. His mask was soaking up the tears from his eyes. He pushed Leo with his hand unsuccessfully to get away.

 Leo just groaned in annoyance. “I don't even know why I'm trying to have a conversation with you; you never listen. You're such a baby all the time. I wish you would just grow up already!”

“Fuck you!” The words seemed to just fall from Donnie’s lips, he hadn't even had time to catch them.

Leo seemed surprised by Donnie’s outburst as he fumbled his initial response, then said: “You know what, that's it! I'm done!” Leo tightened his grip on Donnie’s arm and began to pull him from the kitchen.

The softshell immediately collapsed to the floor to make himself heavier and thrashed and pulled against his brother's grip. He yelled and shouted through the apartment as Leo tugged at him. His high pitched voice squealed all the way to his bedroom.

Leo grunted and yanked Donnie harder, to which the younger yelped and began to fight harder. He threw open the door of Donnie’s room and tossed the softshell onto his bed. Then crossed the room to a pile of neatly placed stuffed animals and grabbed one before stomping back to the door. 

Donnie saw this and quickly scrambled up to his feet and chased after it but Leo shut the door in his face. He banged his fists on it and yanked at the handle, all the while screaming and shouting throughout his temper tantrum.

Leo stood outside the door holding it shut with one hand, the stuffed toy in his other. “You can come out of your room and have your toy back when you decide to calm down and behave! Maybe it’ll teach you how to act your age!”

“Give it back!” Donnie pulled at the doorknob again then kicked the door with the bottom of his foot and fell backwards onto his butt.

“Leo, can you just quit it?” Mikey said, having followed them.

“Hey, when Raph’s not here I'm the oldest. So until he gets back from work I'm in charge.”

“We're the same age!”

“I'm older mentally! And Raph leaves me in charge anyway!” Leo retorted.

"All you're doing is making him scream which is just pissing me off!”

“I don't care if it pisses you off! He refuses to grow up and be responsible. He's rude and abrasive. He’s fucking fourteen, Mikey, and he acts like he's three! It's because Dad babied him so much when we were kids. He's a spoiled kid and this is what he gets! I mean--” he stuttered through a sarcastic laugh, “He's doing this over a fucking toy!”

“And you're doing this over some goddamn food! You're being fucking ridiculous!"

Leo scoffed. “Oh, I’m being ridiculous?! What about him, huh? Does this seem like how a fourteen year old should be behaving?”

Mikey stuttered angrily then replied: "I can't fucking deal with this right now. I need Raph to come home already." He stomped off, his footsteps receding in the distance.

Leo turned back to Donnie’s door. “You can deal with Raph when he gets home. So sit in there and keep quiet.”

“I hate you!” Donnie screamed, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah? Well sometimes I hate you!” Leo kicked the door and stomped off.

Donnie breathed heavily as he listened to Leo’s receding footsteps. Once Leo was no longer in ear shot he felt himself begin to calm back down. Leo’s words replayed in his fuzzy head.

‘I hate you too!’

And the words felt like knives in his chest. He collapsed to his knees, the wetness of his urine still on his sweater pressing into his legs. He pulled his legs to his chest and rocked back and forth, new tears pouring from his eyes.

A burst of anger hit him and he jumped to his feet and stomped and hopped in place. Donnie threw his blankets and pillows onto the floor, knocked over a chair by the wall and pushed other things over. He picked up a wooden bō staff that lay unused at the foot of his bed and started to swing it around and hit it against things. Then he threw the bō across his room where it hit the wall

Donnie screamed and wailed until his throat hurt more. His eyes hurt as he cried through it all. Then he was done, and he stood there in the wreckage of his room. He sniffled and fell to the floor, pulling his legs under his sweater and tucking his knees to his chest.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he whimpered. Hands gripping over his aching head. He wanted to run away. To run out of his room and out of this apartment to a destination unknown. At least then he wouldn't be around people who hated him. But he was so small, he'd never outrun them.

His throat was sore as he cried into his sweater. Choking on sobs as he still felt angry at himself. Donnie felt like he couldn't function. He was trying to rationalize why he did this, trying to understand and form longer thoughts in his head. But his head was so soft right now and everything seemed so much bigger than him.

Donnie found himself wishing Papa was still here, and he hated that he did because at least his love made sense. Donnie knew how to keep him happy, how to keep Papa loving him. But it wouldn't work the same, not with his brothers. He felt sure of that.

Raph would be home soon and would want to talk. Donnie pulled his legs to his chest as he yawned. Hopefully Raph came home soon because Donnie was getting tired.

Chapter Text

Donnie heard voices behind his door. He blinked his eyes open and sat up from the floor. His head felt better now, not all fuzzy as before. He was wrapped in a blanket on the floor surrounded by his pillows and sheets.

“I just think you went a little overboard. Making him cry?” It was Raph’s voice. He'd finally come home.

“He cries about everything! You don't get to get on to me how I parent our brother when you're hardly ever here! He's fourteen, almost fifteen! He's not some baby! Don't be like dad and start treating him like one.” Leo bit back.

“You know my jobs keeps me busy. I would be here to help if I could.”

“Well until you're here to do it yourself, don't tell me how to be a parent. Because god knows you're not doing any better.”

“I'm just gonna talk to him. See how he's doing. I'm sure he's calmed down now.”

Leo scoffed. “Whatever.” He walked away.

Raph sighed and opened the door slowly. Light peeked through the crack, hitting Donnie in the face. He rubbed his eyes and looked up at his oldest brother.

The snapper looked tired and disheveled. His clothes were barely still on and unclean. He stunk too, which Donnie noted had hit him when the door opened. In one of his large hands was the stuffed animal Leo had taken.

“Why are you and your pillows on the floor?” Raph asked.

Donnie blinked the sleep from his eyes. “I fell asleep.”

“Why didn't you use your bed?”

Donnie glanced at his bed, then back at Raph. He sat up fully and pulled his legs to his chest. “I don't know.” 

Raph looked over the messy room before closing the door behind him and stepping closer. He knelt down next to Donnie then reeled back, waving a hand in his face. “Oh, Leo wasn't kidding.” Raph turned back to Donnie and looked him up and down. “Are you still wearing that same sweater?” He pulled Donnie to his feet and examined the large stain on him. “Oh, Donnie.” He winced at the smell. “Why didn't you change?”

“I forgot.” Donnie pushed himself out of his brother’s grip and sat back on the floor with his arms crossed. 

Raph stood up straight. “Well, go change now, please. I can't talk to you while you're covered in piss, bro.”

Donnie scrunched up his face into a pout. His head still felt a little fuzzy and he didn't feel like listening to Raph. He turned his head away with a “humf”.

Raph rolled his eyes. “Come on, Donnie. If you don't, then I won't give this back.” He held up the stuffed animal. Donnie reached for it and Raph pulled it away. “Then go change”, he said strictly.

Donnie grumbled something before standing himself up. With a bit of a limp he crossed over to a small divider. Going behind it he pulled the sweater over his head, the partially dry urine smearing onto his hand. He wiped his hands off on the sweater then threw it into a hamper. Then he peeled off his damp shorts and did the same, wiping himself dry.

He pulled a large purple hoodie from a hanger and went to slip it on but stopped. His eyes fell to the old scars on his arms, bite shaped curves running along his frail forearms. The hoodie went on and they were hidden again. The hood went up and he came out from around the divider, not bothering to put on a new pair of shorts given the hoodie went over his knees.

“There, isn't that better?” Raph asked with a smile.

Donnie pouted and crossed his arms, not watching to admit his brother was correct. Instead he held out his hand for the expected payment of a stuffed toy. Raph handed it to him. The softshell immediately swiped it away and hugged it, keeping it there close to his chest.

Raph sighed, his smile faltering. “So, can we talk, Dee?”

Donnie faced his brother, still pouting. He stood silently in place for a moment, then nodded, walking back to the pile of pillows and blankets and plopping down.

Raph shifted to sit on his butt and crossed his legs. He bent down to be eye level with Donnie. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Donnie didn't look him in the eyes. His beak stayed buried in the soft fur of his plushie.

“Hey.” Raph tapped him softly. “Come on, bud. I need you to talk to me.”

Donnie groaned and pulled himself tighter. There was a moment of nothing, then: “Leo was being mean.”

“Was he?” Raph said in an almost unbelieving tone.

“He yelled at me and said he hated me.”

Raph let out a breath that almost sounded like a growl. “I will talk to him after this, but he doesn't hate you, okay? He just… gets stressed.”

“He's stressed all the time then.” Donnie rubbed his eye and sniffled. “He yells all the time. You all do.”

“I-- I know…” Raph stuttered. “We just… we're not built to parent. I'm not here to do it, and Leo and Mikey do their best in a bad situation. I know he's not perfect but it's just how it is now, Dee.”

‘Their best’

If that was Leo’s best Donnie didn't want to see his worst. He didn't like his brothers trying to tell him what to do all the time. Acting like his parents when they weren't. Papa was his dad, but he was gone. So why did they act like they had to replace him? They didn't even “love” him the same way Papa did, so how could they pretend to be him.

“But he wouldn't just yell at you for no reason, Donnie. Even if he didn't handle it the best, he still had a reason. Do you wanna tell me what it was?”

“I… I didn't want to eat dinner,” Donnie hushed.

“Why not?”

“I wasn't hungry.” Again, Donnie buried his face in his plushie.

“All he did was ask you to try one bite. That didn't require you to throw a fit.”

“I didn't mean-- I- I said I was sorry!” Donnie finally faced Raph and the upsetness on his face was apparent.

“But you also peed yourself at the table. You're a big boy, Donnie. Why did you do that?” Raph asked.

“I said I don't know,” Donnie whined. “I can't hold it sometimes, it hurts too much, it's too hard.”

“Do we need to get you some diapers?” Raph said in a playful voice.

Donnie didn't find the joke in it. “No!” he squealed out.

“Hey,” Raph spoke commandingly. “Do not yell at me, Donnie.” His voice was calm but firm, and it settled the softshell.

“I'm not a baby…”

“I know that, Dee. I was just…” Raph exhaled a deep breath, then continued: “You do act like one sometimes. You cannot be throwing fits like that, you know this. You're fourteen, you're in high school. You've had accidents at school before too and we can't always drop what we're doing to come get you.”

Donnie looked away from the snapper. His grip on the stuffed animal tightened. Why did Raph have to remind him of his school accidents, it was embarrassing enough happening at home around his brothers, but at school there was no one to support him through it. It brought back uncomfortable memories of being laughed at in class as that yellow puddle filled his chair.

Raph watched the softshell for a moment, saw he didn't intend to respond, sighed and said: “I just need you to act more like your age. Grow up a little. That's all. Because I can't keep having these conversations with you, you're too old for it. So can you do that?” He tilted his head at his brother trying to gauge his reaction.

Donnie kept his face turned away so Raph couldn't read his expression. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to be able to do it, truly. But he didn't want to lie, because he knew he wouldn't keep to his word. He never did over this; over his behavior and his tantrums. Each day was a reset for his brain and he was back to acting out over small things.

Donnie heard Raph stand, be still for a moment, then the snapper said: “I want you to stay in here for the rest of the night. Tomorrow I want you to apologize to Leo for your childish behavior. I'll see if I can get him to apologize for how he handled it, but he's stubborn. For now just stay in here and think about it.” Raph turned for the door and stood in the doorway. “And get some sleep. You look tired.” Then he shut the door and left.

And that was it. No ‘I love you’. No reassurance to the softshell that his brother didn't hate him. It was rare he ever heard those three words thrown in his direction, especially less after Papa’s death. He was usually the only one to say it, and usually only during their special training.

Donnie hated that training, it always hurt and left him sore. It made him feel icky and gross like his lunch times with his teacher. But when Papa would say those three words in his ear on those nights that pain became bearable. Papa hurt him, but Papa did it because he loved him. That's what Papa said, that's what he believed and why he didn't expect to hear those words from his brothers.

His mind would drift some days though. Conjure up images of his brothers in Papa’s place and whispering and telling him they loved him. Donnie hated thinking it and wished his brain wouldn't force him to see it. His body would react to them with a craving urge to make them real; his cock would push itself from the folds of his tail as they danced in his head.

Donnie was ashamed of his brain, ashamed of his body, ashamed of himself. Each time his head was full of those thoughts and his body became hot he couldn't fight the need it gave him. Late nights and sleep lost to moments of orgasmic pleasure to these thoughts. Back to back orgasms until his cock and his pussy ached sore and red, and then when his body was truly tired he was just a bundle of shame.

Donnie sat in his place on the floor with his sheets and pillows around him like a nest. He could feel his body become hot again, and he cried quietly because he knew he couldn't ignore it no matter how much he wanted. Another night of sleep lost.

Chapter Text

Donnie awoke with a familiar feeling between his legs. He was still on the floor, having stayed there after Raph and him had talked the night before. He rubbed his eyes and moved to check the dampness he felt. A small ring of urine on his blanket and on his hoodie, must less than what he'd done yesterday at dinner. He also stunk, reeked of masturbation from his late night of embarrassment.

Immediately he got up, but didn't panic. He was used to waking up in the mornings and finding him having peed himself and was thankful it was only a little this time. Donnie gathered up everything he could find that had made contact with the pee and bundled it up before swapping his hoodie out for a similar one and adding the stained one to the pile.

He glanced at his alarm clock: 7:56 . Raph and Leo were likely at work already, and Mikey was probably still asleep. This eased the softshell a good deal now that he was confident he wouldn't be found out for another accident.

Neglecting to put on a pair of shorts, only wearing his large hoodie to cover himself, Donnie carried the bundle of laundry down stairs to the washing machine. It was empty thankfully and he dumped them into the machine, added the soap, and turned the machine on. It hummed as it came to life and began to fill with water.

Donnie stood there staring at the machine as if he intended to simply wait there. His stomach growled and the pain of it forced his attention away. He moaned slightly at the pain, though it was not unfamiliar to him. It meant that he needed to eat, really needed to eat. Normal hungry was different, he could ignore that easier. It was when it started to hurt his tummy that he knew he finally had to eat.

Leaving the laundry room he went upstairs to the kitchen and stopped when seeing Leo still home. The slider stood with his back to Donnie as he microwaved something. Donnie stood there for a moment silently, then said: “Sorry for getting you in trouble with Raph…”

Leo jumped with a small shout, spun around, saw his brother, then replied: “Shit, you scared me.”

“Sorry…”

Leo shook his head and rubbed his eyes with one hand. “I-it's okay, whatever. And about Raph, it's fine. We argue a lot anyway.”

Were all their arguments about me? Donnie thought. Was he the source of their strife? It sure felt like it a lot. Donnie wasn't really surprised however, he often felt like he burdened them. Forcing them to work jobs after Papa died just to support their kid brother. It wasn't much different to how they'd been treating him. Ever since they were kids there was this distance animosity Donnie could feel from his other brothers, it was silly to think it would have gone away after their father's death.

The microwave beeped and Leo pulled whatever he was heating out. He looked back at Donnie, took a bite of the ramen he'd heated, said: “You're up early.”

“Uh… I went to bed early,” Donnie said meekly.

Leo nodded, remembering the events of the day before. He took another bite of his ramen. “Yeah. Raph wanted me to say something too. So uh, sorry I guess, for yelling at you.”

Donnie shuffled in place, unsure of how to respond to Leo’s apology. His brothers have apologized to him for small things before, but usually Donnie felt at fault for them so their apologies felt unwarranted to the softshell. His stomach growled again, another shot of pain and he held his stomach.

“That's what you get for not eating dinner last night,” Leo commented.

Donnie furrowed his brow but said nothing.

Leo finished his food and tossed the cup in the trash and his fork into the sink. He stretched his arms. “Okay, be good for Mikey while we're gone.” He passed the softshell as he left the kitchen.

Donnie pouted at his comment. “Be good for Mikey .” like he knew the younger brother would be an issue, and a part of Donnie felt Leo correct. Mikey was always left stuck babysitting the softshell on the weekends while the other were still working which he knew the box turtle hated. Donnie tried to make it easier for his brother by just keeping to his room so as not to bother him.

His stomach growled again and he was forced out his head. Hand clenching his stomach he groaned and opened the fridge. Donnie didn't waste time searching around, he knew what he was looking for. He took out a thing of celery, broke off a stalk and shut the fridge. He leaned back against the fridge door and munched on the celery until he'd eaten it all. That had been his breakfast for the day, and likely the last meal he'd have until his stomach ached again.

Donnie licked his lips and felt them to be dry. He wasn't dumb, he knew that he should probably drink something. Donnie wished he didn't have to. It would just end up being more ammo for his bladder to embarrass. Just a small sip might not hurt. he thought.

He came to the counter, placed his hands on top, and tried to push himself up. His arms shook as he grunted and struggled, dropped back to the floor. Donnie tried again, throwing his leg up to try jumping up but failed again. He fell back and immediately felt dizzy. He braced himself on the counter to keep standing. Static-fuzz filled his vision as the world spun. His chest heaved and he was out of breath.

Once his vision returned he glanced up at the overhead cabinets where the cups were stored and sighed. Then he pulled a chair from the table and stepped onto it, opening the cabinet and retrieving a cup. Donnie held it under the sink’s faucet and poured about two inches worth of water, turned off the faucet, began to take small sips from the cup.

The cool water hit his throat and made his body shiver, now he wished he'd gotten warm water. The water didn't help his naturally cold body. No matter what he wore it always felt like a draft was wafting through the apartment right at him. He pondered if he should have worn some pants instead of going bottomless through the home.

Donnie finished his water and threw the cup in the sink, then returned the chair to the table and left the kitchen satisfied. He returned to the laundry room and the washing machine had finished so he moved his things into the dryer and started it.

The machine groaned as it came to life. He adjusted his glasses then shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. He rocked on his feet as he stood waiting, then turned as he heard footsteps descending the stairs.

Mikey huffed as he lugged a heavy basket of clothes down the stairs. He locked eyes with Donnie once at the bottom. He sat the basket down by the washer, took a deep breath, then said: “What are you doing?”

Donnie stood awkwardly before answering: “I was… just washing some stuff.”

Mikey crossed his arms. “Did you have another accident?”

Donnie ducked his head down slightly and avoided Mikey's gaze. He'd felt so proud of himself for not letting anyone know before.

Mikey didn't need an answer from the softshell to know the truth. He rolled his eyes, huffed, then lifted the basket onto a table next to the washer. “Whatever. At least you didn't make me clean it up.”

Donnie watched embarrassingly as his brother dumped the basket’s contents into the washer. He spotted some familiar articles. “Are those mine?”

The box turtle started the washer then faced his brother again. “Yes. I'm doing everyone’s laundry. Raph asked me to, so you're welcome by the way.”

Donnie ducked his head down again, looked away, whispered: “Thank you…”

“Uh-huh. Oh, by the way, your room is a total wreck so I need you to go clean it up because I'm not gonna do it for you. I picked some stuff up so I could get your laundry but you need to do the rest.”

Donnie’s head jerked toward his brother with a look of concern. What had Mikey moved and how much? When Mikey said he “picked up” something it could mean anything from just picking things off the floor to a deep clean. Donnie hadn't seen Mikey the entire morning until now so immediately his mind began to panic.

The softshell zoomed past his brother and up the stairs, ignoring what the box turtle said as he went by. He ran into his room and looked around wildly for anything changed.

Mikey had in fact picked up quite a bit. Which wasn't unnatural for the turtle to do given that's what he did all day around the apartment. It was only unusual because he normally ignored Donnie’s room, but only because the softshell kept it tidy himself most days.

The furniture had been stood back up, his bō leaning neatly back against the wall, and trash from his trashcan had been cleaned and removed from the room. Then his eyes landed on his bed and he screamed. The sheets had been changed but that wasn't why he screamed, a few of his stuffed animals, ones that had been knocked over from their pile during his tantrum yesterday, were tossed onto his bed.

Donnie screamed at the top of his lungs and began to cry. His legs buckled and he knelt to the floor.

Running footsteps behind him grew louder and Mikey appeared behind him. “What?!”

Stuttering, Donnie replied: “Y-y-you put my p-plushies on my b-bed!”

Mikey glanced at the stuffed toys then back at Donnie. His demeanor changed dramatically. “Are you kidding me?”

Donnie rubbed his eyes as he cried. They couldn't be up there, they weren't allowed on the bed. His plushies were his best friends, each one had a name and a personality all its own. Every single one of them was important to Donnie, but he never let them on his bed. Sharing a bed was how bad things happened, and he didn't want anything bad to happen to his friends.

Mikey crossed to the bed, yanked the toys off and threw them back into their nearby pile with the others. “Quit crying! I was just picking stuff off your floor.”

“Th-they’re not allowed on my bed!” Donnie screamed.

“I--” Mikey grabbed the bridge of his beak, groaned, then continued: “I don't have time for this, I have shit to do.” He walked past his brother, stopped in the doorway, turned back to face him. “Just clean your room up. If you're gonna act like such a child over it then just do it yourself and get it over with. I'll bring you your laundry when it's all done.” He then excited the room, and Donnie heard him mumble: “...give you something to cry about…” under his breath.

Donnie sniffled and wiped his tears. He glanced over his shoulder as his brother went, then at the toys tossed into the pile. He crawled over to them, picked them up one by one and hugged them tightly. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I'm not like Papa, I promise.” He rocked back and forth on the floor as he continued to hug them tightly.

He could hear Mikey downstairs fussing with the washer still occupied. Donnie sunk into himself then moved to tidy up his room. He reset his chair and gathered the trash he had strewn about his floor. Then he placed his three plushies back in their pile with the other. He worked steadily, every so often glancing over his shoulder in the tiny hope that maybe Mikey would peek in and see him cleaning. Mikey never did.

When his room was clean he stood in the center and looked around, feeling almost proud of himself. He glanced at his plushies staring back at him and felt a warm sense of accomplishment in his chest. He giggled to himself, feeling giddy at his toys seeing him finish his chore. If they could speak they would have said “good job, Donnie. we're very proud”.

Time passed and Donnie went back downstairs to move his laundry. He peaked cautiously around the corner; Mikey wasn't there. He opened the washer and moved his wet clothes and sheets into the dryer then set the timer for it to start. The machine hummed and vibrated, it rocked side to side very lightly.

Donnie felt his tail twick, tucked it between his legs. He pulled into himself as he recognized the feeling coming into him. He stared at the dryer, looked over his shoulder at the stairs, then back at the machine. Donnie swallowed then pressed himself against it.

His hands hooked over the roof of it so he had a tight grip. The corner of the machine he has positioned between his legs, lifted his hoodie, then pressed up against his crotch. Donnie gasped then bit his lip to keep quiet. His hands tightened in response to the vibration coursing through him.

The corner of the dryer sat snuggly between the lips of his pussy, sending waves of pleasure against his clit. Donnie hugged the dryer now, fully pressed against it. His soft moans turned into light whines of enjoyment as he lost himself in the feeling. He could feel his orgasm building, building, building, and then—

“Donnie?”

Donnie lept back from the dryer and spun around as Mikey descended the stairs.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Donnie stumbled over his words. He tugged his hoodie lower over himself in embarrassment. His eyes pushed away from Mikey, too scared to look at him.

“I heard you whining. You better not be messing with shit” Mikey came closer, stood in front of the softshell. He inspected the dryer then looked back at Donnie. The box turtle huffed as if disappointed there wasn't something to chastise Donnie about. “Please, go to your room and stop causing trouble down here.”

Donnie nodded and quickly left, tripping as he ran up the stairs back to his room. He shut the door behind him. Slick still dripped between his legs and his tail was throbbing. Mikey had interrupted him and that hot feeling wouldn't go away.

Donnie dropped to the floor, hands already fishing between his legs. His mind pushed out all thoughts of coherence to give way to his deviancy. Head resting against the floor he arched his back as his fingers danced inside him. Drool leaked from his mouth and his hips bucked into the feeling. His mind raced through fantasies without care; the dryer, Mr. Calimar, a character in a show, Papa, his brother, Mikey ….

Donnie whined at the thought. He knew full well it was wrong, the tears stinging his eyes were proof of that. But his own mind so loved to torture him. The box turtle’s name drifted from his lips as he fingered himself, cock dropping into the open air; it remained there untouched as both of his small hands dug into his cunt.

Mikey appeared in his mind. He leaned over the softshell, cupping the younger’s butt, squeezing it. Donnie moaned at the touch. Mikey’s cock rubbed against his wet flesh, pushed inside of the softshell pussy and Donnie melted into it as his tears melted into the carpet of his room.

Mikey thrusted, hands gripping on Donnie’s sides; just like how Papa once did. Donnie bucked his hips backwards into his brother, the movement paired with a chestful of shame.

The box turtle moaned with Donnie. Hips meeting hips, flesh smacking flesh. Mikey spoke words that Donnie couldn't understand, too lost into the conflicting emotions.

Donnie’s orgasm returned, building, building, building. He was reaching the peak of it, arriving at the precipice of pleasure as his brother's cock dug into him. Donnie ignored the knock on the door and the familiar voice calling his name from behind it. His hearing went fuzzy as he came, his own moan drowned out.

Mikey came inside of Donnie with a final thrust and Donnie felt it fill me immensely. Then the box turtle disappeared back into the deep thoughts of his mind and Donnie was left there on the floor of his room. His hands shoved deep into his pussy, covering both them and the floor in slick and squirt. His cock had cum untouched and slowly returned into his tail.

Whatever knocking behind the door had since left. And as Donnie regained a sense of his surroundings he realized the only other person home was Mikey and it had been him knocking on that door.

Donnie sat up, sore and shaky. His face was wet from crying. He looked back at the door. He moved to open it, peeked out, saw a basket of his things. Opening the door more he pulled the basket inside before shutting it again. How long has he been touching himself, his laundry was already dry?

Donnie wondered if Mikey had heard what Donnie moaned? He felt disgusting but he was familiar with it. Mikey would probably tell his brothers when they got home.

Donnie curled himself into a ball as he cried. How could he imagine his brother like that? He was a freak, a pervert. Mikey probably thought Donnie was disgusting for it, because he definitely heard, the door isn't very thick. Tears still burned his eyes and his throat hurts from his hiccuping sobs.

He took a plushie from his pile of them and hugged it closely. What would his brothers do when they got home? Leo already hated him, Donnie believed, so he wouldn't be happy. Raph would probably disown him; the most likely scenario in his mind.

No real punishment ever came Donnie’s way however. Mikey seemed to have never told Raph or Leo what he saw in the laundry room or heard from behind the door, if he had even seen or heard anything at all. Donnie assumed he was saving it for later, to reveal it to them when the softshell would get into the most trouble.

Raph had asked Mikey how Donnie behaved during the day and Mikey had replied: “Fine.”

Donnie knew it was a lie, because he knew he hadn't behaved. A part of him was upset at Mikey for saying it because then neither of his brothers had reason to go speak to him once back from work.

There was a knock on his door. “I brought you dinner.” Mikey said sternly.

The box turtle’s footsteps receded and Donnie cracked open the door and took in the plate. It was a kind of lasagna, with a rich, thick sauce on top. Donnie picked at it with his fork, scraped some of the ricotta cheese off and ate it, left the rest of it untouched.

Donnie sat in silence for a moment, stewing in his thoughts. He scratched his wrist, felt the scars under his nails. Though they were old, as he had not bit himself in several months, he still often had the urge to. Usually he'd found a way to ignore it, mostly through sexual self-gratification, but that had been embarrassing enough today.

He tugged his sleeve down and those teeth shaped scars stuck out sharply against his skin. His tongue dragging over his teeth before setting them to his flesh. Donnie clenched down, breaking into the scars, iron over his lips. His skin torn beneath his bite and his salt water tears added to the burn.

Those sealed up wounds had been awards to himself, the smallest pride in his own good behavior. But he'd misbehaved; misbehaved badly; acted inappropriately with his brothers, and Papa had not been here to solve it, to correct that behavior. His brothers weren't Papa, and Donnie was never able to tell if he was happy or sad they weren't. Oh how Papa would bite his skin. Thankfully there would be no mess of blood to hide this time.

Chapter Text

Donnie sat in a circle with some of his plushies in his room on the floor. A wide grin made its home on his face as he spoke to them in a gleeful manner. He spoke to them as if they were alive and could respond back despite the obvious reality that they could not. In his mind however he and his stuffed toys carried on a wild conversion full of jokes and playful banter. They were his friends after all.

Donnie quipped something smart to his lamb plushie, Botticellamby, to his right, sat silently watching it for a moment, then laughed as if reacting to something it said. He whipped his head around to meet a tiger who joined the conversation. Donnie responded to it and chuckled.

Donnie sat on his knees as he went to reply to something a stuffed dog had said before a loud screech had rang out making him freeze. He heard it again a second time and starred in the direction he heard it. Donnie stood up and peered out his bedroom door. He saw Leo’s room across to the right open slightly and an urge or curiosity took him.

Slowly, he crept across the apartment and looked around the doorframe. Leo’s room was as one would expect from a flamboyant sci-fi fan; the room was decked out in retro sci-fi memorabilia: figurine collectibles, posters of decade old movies, as well as posters of some glamrock singers Leo was a fan of.

Leo was posing in front of a full length mirror while chatting with April, who sat on the bed with her back facing the door.

April.

April was always strange to Donnie. She was the only human Donnie ever really saw when she came to visit them in the Hidden City. Beyond her he had no other interactions with humans. Donnie didn't know much about her, but over the years had gathered some small details about her life; she was older than Raph, lived in her own place on the surface, had a mom, and had a job—although Donnie never found out what it was. The main thing Donnie associated with April was that she was his brothers’ friend, but more so she was Leo’s best friend.

Leo turned as he eyed himself in the mirror, then faced April again. “I think this would look good with a jacket,” he said.

April jumped up from where she sat and clapped her hands together. “I think I have just the thing.” She dove into a bag nearby before pulling out a short, long sleeve, deep blue jacket and handed it to the slider.

Leo slipped it on and began to pose in the mirror making both of them giggle. Donnie looked his brother over; top to bottom at the outfit he wore. The slider has on a mesh shirt with a pair of low waisted pants. The jacket stopped at his midsection. On his face was light mascara and lip liner.

Donnie’s mind began to swim with unwanted thoughts: “Leo is so hot” “He's so sexy” “You want him to touch you” “Maybe he could be like Papa” “Already so wet thinking about your own brother”

Donnie whined quietly as he watched. He turned his knees inward as his body started to warm. Slick slowly dampened his shorts as his arousal grew. He tugged the front of his hoodie downward to cover his leaking shame. Donnie knew it was wrong what he was doing and the thoughts in his brain, but his body’s urges were always so hard to fight once they started.

Donnie’s hand slowly dipped down between his legs as he continued to watch his brother and his friend from the crack in the door. Donnie shut his eyes as his mind funneled filthier images into his head, becoming so lost in his pleasure he hadn't seen Leo coming his way.

“Lemme just go grab—Ahh!” Leo tripped over the softshell and they both went tumbling to the floor.

Embarrassment hit Donnie at the same time Leo landed on top of him. His hand had slid out from his shorts as they tumbled, and there was no mess visible over the large hoodie.

Leo sat up and looked down at his kid brother in annoyance. “Donnie, what the hell?”

Donnie'a flushed face met Leo’s gaze and he sat himself up. April stood in the doorway watching the two and Donnie felt even more embarrassed with her there. His heart was still racing in his chest as his head was calming back down. He didn't realize he hadn't said anything in response until Leo again said something.

“Why are you just standing outside my room?” Leo stood fully.

Donnie swallowed dryly, pulled his hood tighter over his head. “I'm sorry, I– I heard a scream a-and I was just—”

“Oh, that was just me, little guy,” April said kindly. “Leo was trying on some stuff on and I thought it looked good.”

Leo huffed playfully. “Of course it looked good. Everything looks good on me.”

“Even that ugly ass waiter uniform?” April said sarcastically.

Leo spun at her. “Hey, I make that uniform shine!”

April rolled her eyes playfully. “Sure.”

Leo waved her off then turned back to Donnie, his face changing from a smile to a near grimace. “Anyway, Donnie, why were you spying on us? If you'd said something I wouldn't have tripped onto you.”

Donnie held his lips tight to keep himself from crying. He was used to Leo chastising him over things, but it was never usually in front of other people. With April here it added a new pair of eyes to gawk at and make fun of him.

Leo groaned and ran his hand down his face, then continued: “If you're not gonna answer me then just go off somewhere. Just quit peeping on people.” Leo passed him and rounded a corner.

Donnie followed him with his eyes, then faced April when Leo was out of sight. The human gave an awkward smile. The two of them had barely ever interacted; Donnie was usually in his room and steered clear of the human and April never really had a reason to seek the softshell out.

“So uh… you were spying on us?” April asked.

Donnie looked away embarrassed but nodded softly.

“Hey, it's okay. I mean, it doesn't bother me, your brother seems to have an issue but you’re family so that’s you guy’s business.”

Donnie pulled his knees to his chest and continued to look away from April without speaking.

April scratched the side of her neck awkwardly, tapped her fingers against the wall as he thought of what to say next. Her interactions with Donnie in the past had been smaller than brief. They've barely ever exchanged words, so now trying to force a conversation seemed weird.

“You wanna look at the clothes I brought?” April asked suddenly.

Donnie looked up at her with a confused expression. She was still smiling at him awkwardly but it seemed kind enough. He looked between her and the inside of the room, then back at her again. “But Leo…”

April rolled her eyes. “He can blow it out his ass.” She laughed. “Besides, I've never gotten to really meet you before.”

Donnie contemplated for a moment. No one ever chose to hang out with him before. He'd always been on his own most of the time. Even at school he kept to himself. His whole childhood he'd been relegated to being by himself or with Papa, since his brothers had never wanted to be around him much.

His brain started for formulate reasons April would want to be around him. Clearly she wanted something from him, most people who talked to him did. A part of him knew he shouldn't go into his brother's room without his permission, but there was a nosey side to him, though rarely entertained, made itself known in small instances. This being one of them.

Donnie slowly stood to his feet and stepped forward. He sank his hands into his sleeves and held them close, still anxious. He glanced over his shoulder for his brother then continued into the room.

April stood back to allow him into the room. This was the first time Donnie had ever fully been in Leo’s room before; the slider had never allowed him in.

April crossed the room to the bag of clothes. She waved at Donnie to come over. “Here, come check this out.”

Donnie came over to her, gazing around the room as he did. He stopped at an awkward distance from the human, still nervous about getting close to this mostly-stranger.

“You like purple right? It's the only thing I see you wear.” She took a different jacket from the one Leo had worn and held it up to the softshell. It was a deep violet with a large dragon decal on the back.

Donnie stared at the jacket, transfixed by it. He had to admit to himself that it did look nice. Cautiously he took a step forward with his eyes traveling between April and the jacket. He took it politely from her grip and felt it in his hands; it was soft. Extremely soft. Donnie cracked a smile at it.

April chuckled, pulling Donnie’s attention back to her. “You like it?”

Donnie nodded hesitantly.

April gleemed at him. “You wanna try it on?”

Again Donnie nodded hesitantly. His glasses shifted slightly from the movement; he corrected them.

“Okay, then let's get that hoodie you're wearing off and slip this one on.” April reached for the sleeve of Donnie’s hoodie and the softshell reeled back harshly catching the human by surprise. “Okay, that's fine. We'll just put it on over.”

April took the jacket from Donnie and held it open before him. Donnie slid his arms into the sleeves over the ones of his hoodie then zipped it up. It was surprisingly comfortable wearing two over-tops together, it felt like a tight hug over his whole body.

Donnie couldn't help but crack a smile when he met his own reflection in the mirror. He turned himself to look at it on his body and felt a sense of pride in it. Donnie let out a giggle, stopped, looked at April embarrassed.

She laughed with him, then said: “You look good! Who knew you could rock a jacket and a hoodie combo?”

That comment got a bigger smile from Donnie. His lips spread near ear to ear and another laugh came up his throat. His body then began to shrink and his head got fuzzy, but this time it felt good. Normally he felt terrified when he got small; the world would become big and loud, and everyone looked monstrous above him. But as everything around him grew bigger he didn't feel scared, he felt warm. The tight hug of his jacket and hoodie complemented it.

Donnie felt his body get lighter and this got him spinning. He hopped excited in place, his arms flapping at his sides. His tiny body felt like it was going to explode with all the energy he suddenly felt. Any embarrassment he'd had was gone. He looked back at himself in the mirror and had a tooth filled grin.

He turned to April who was also smiling. She laughed, then her mouth moved to say words that Donnie couldn't understand, but felt comforted by nonetheless. She wasn't laughing at him, she was laughing for him. April reached into the bag of clothes and pulled out a pair of purple pants (She has a lot of purple clothes?) Her mouth moved and Donnie assumed she wanted him to try them on.

Donnie scrambled onto the bed. The bed came up to his waist but he still found it difficult to climb up at first. Once he succeeded April handed him the pants and he slipped them on. The pants were of course too big for him but he felt proud to wear them anyway. Donnie stood up on the bed and posed for the human and she clapped approvingly.

Donnie laughed loudly, finding this time being small not so bad. Then just as he flapped his arms in excitement again Leo’s voice cut through the air. He spun around and met the slider’s face and everything became giant and scary again.

Donnie stumbled off the bed and ducked to the side and Leo closed in. He could feel tears burning at the corner of his eyes and Leo towered over him.

“Dude, why are you jumping all over my bed?”

“Leo, chill,” April placed herself between the turtles. “We were just having fun. I was letting him try on some of the stuff I brought over.”

“That's great, but he messed up my bed!”

“Oh please, like your bed is some great sacred place that can never be defiled,” April said sarcastically.

Leo fumbled his words, then he replied: “Okay, that is besides the point. I don't want him in my room.”

April shrugged. “Okay, so what? He's like nine or whatever. What does it matter?”

Leo chortled. “Okay, first off, he's fourteen.”

“Fourteen?” April asked, shocked. He looked at Donnie who was still cowering slightly. She looked him up and down then faced Leo again. “Well, whatever, we were just having fun. And I've never gotten to talk or hang out with him before.” She chuckled, then: “Honestly, in the few times I've seen him before this, I've never seen his smile this big.”

Leo looked at Donnie, then back to April. They exchanged silent expressions; a silent conversation. Then he rolled his eyes and groaned, and begrudgingly said: “Alright, it's fine. Since you didn't actually break anything it's no big deal.”

Donnie almost felt confused at Leo’s reaction. He'd expected the slider to stay angry with him, kick him out of the room roughly and leave him there. But April seemed to have some effect on him that convinced him not to.

“Just don't jump on my bed, okay?” Leo asked Donnie, finishing it with a pat on the softshell’s head.

Donnie nodded. He was still small, and the world was still huge, but that weightless feeling he'd had before Leo arrived and scared him back to earth returned. The small tears that had fallen down his cheeks dried. His limbs felt tingly at the tips, and he couldn't help the small giggle that escaped his lips.

A soft smile touched Leo’s face, an amused chuff left his mouth before disappearing; as if he were fighting his body’s attempts at amusement. There was something strangely nostalgic about Leo’s expression, but Donnie couldn't place how so in his current mental state.

Leo then faced April and said, “Where'd that jacket come from?”

“It's from this tech club at my school. The purple dragons, I think. I don't really know, they're kind of annoying. But their fashion sense is pretty good.”

“What, you used to be part of a tech club?” Leo cocked his brow almost mockingly.

April punched him in the arm playfully, but hard enough to make Leo grunt. “You calling me a nerd?” She motioned to the room decor.

“If it walks like a duck…” Leo trailed off.

“If I’m a nerd that makes you one too by association.”

Leo shook his head. “Hell no! Could a nerd look like this?” He motioned to the outfit on his body, flexed slightly.

Donnie yipped quietly and covered his face with his hands. His cheeks felt hot as perverted pictures of Leo came into his head again. He rubbed at his face harshly to get rid of them.

“What's up with you?” Leo asked, facing his brother.

Donnie answered with a whine before spinning and running out of the room. His little feet pattered across the floor to his room; the journey felt long in his small body. The walls stretched on forever, and it wasn't until he finally looked up from his hands that he collided with his bedroom door. Donnie groaned in pain as he rubbed the sore spot.

“Ouch, you okay, Dee?” April asked.

Donnie spun, met her face, nodded with his own increasingly warming expression then entered his room and shut the door behind him.

“Is he good?” April asked, turning to Leo.

The slider nodded with an eye roll. “He's just weird.” He waved to April to come back to his room. “Let's finish getting ready for tonight.”

Donnie held his face in his hands, it was so warm to his touch. He still felt tiny even in the safety of his bedroom. He stomped his feet in frustration at his body’s reaction. He felt hot, incredibly so and his legs felt too heavy to hold up.

His mind was full of Leo and he struggled to fight it. Donnie hated it, he didn't want it. Sexual urges towards his brothers were nothing new to him, he'd had them ever since Papa died, but always he felt guilty for having them. They didn’t deserve it like Donnie did. Tears burned his eyes as he tried to get his head to clear away Leo’s images. He never before wanted his brain to just show him nude images of his family, he never wanted to have fantasies about his brother fucking him. But there was familiar comfort in those fantasies; comforting yet sickening.

Donnie pulled a plushie from the circle he'd left them into a tight hug. He plopped himself on his bed, but was attentive to not let it touch the mattress in any way. Squeezing the plushie as tight as he could, his face buried into it as he cried. He was still small because his emotions were so ,so big.

Chapter Text

It was deep late at night. Donnie peeked his head out of his door into the hallway; the apartment was silent and still. Raph had come home about an hour ago and promptly went to bed, and Mikey had retired several hours before that. Leo was still out with April and was likely to stay out longer, as was usual for them (they went to parties a lot).

Donnie crept out of his room quietly with his soiled sheets balled in one arm and Bottocellamby in the other. Just as he reached the stairs for the laundry room the front door opened, turning to see Leo entering.

Leo stumbled over the hearth then rested against a close wall. His face was flush and he was smiling toothily. Donnie watched him for a moment, although he was familiar with the sight. Leo and April’s partying often resulted in the slider being inebriated in some capacity when he got back.

Leo caught his breath, stumbled forward, slumped against another wall, giggled. He seemed to not notice Donnie at the end of the hall—which was not uncommon to the softshell. He took a breath then threw himself off the wall and into the kitchen where he disappeared from Donnie’s view.

Donnie continued into the laundry room, put the sheets in the washer, then grabbed a fresh set from the linen closet. Return to his own room, lamb still clutched tight to his chest, he changed his sheets and blankets accordingly then grabbed a fresh set of clothes and went to the bathroom to clean himself.

The bathroom light flickered as it went on. He sat Botticellamby on the lid of the toilet before undressing. The large hoodie was soaked in urine and the stench of it wafted at him, he held his breath as it went over his face. With a rag he cleaned off his thighs and crotch, then dried with a towel.

As he stood there naked in the bathroom he looked over the scars that littered his body: deep, self-inflicted bite marks running up his arm, the crookedness of his weak tail, the ever so light lopsidedness of his hips that gave him his natural limp. The stark frailness of his body was exacerbated by his shell, his plastron practically sank into him with how unweight he was.

Donnie traced a scar on his arm with his fingers before bringing it to his mouth. He sank his teeth into his skin until he tasted iron and he shivered. It tasted horrible but he deserved it. He'd once again peed in his bed and he wasn't supposed to do that. Everyone else was already asleep so he had to punish himself for being so childish.

When the pain of his bite felt sufficiently he retracted his teeth. He could see the blood over his mouth in the mirror, it mixed with his tears. He rinsed himself off once more, took some gauze from the cabinet and wrapped up his wound. Then he pulled on a fresh pair of shorts and a sweater to cover it all up. 

Grabbing Botticellamby he said: “I'm sorry I made you watch that. I forgot to turn you around, please don't be mad.” He stared at the little lamb for a moment as if waiting for a response then he hugged it. Donnie picked his spiked clothes off the floor and threw them into a hamper before leaving the bathroom.

The apartment was quiet now. He assumed Leo had finally passed out somewhere thankfully. He headed for his room but as he entered he froze, eyes glued to his bed. Leo was asleep in Donnie’s bed. His body turned on its side so he was facing Donnie and the door.

Donnie hugged his lamb tighter and looked around for something or someone to tell him what to do here, but there was no one.

Donnie wasn't sure what to do next. Leo never come to his room while drunk before, and when sober he only came to Donnie’s room to reprimand him for something the softshell did. Usually when Leo came home drunk he would either be passed out on the couch or end up in his own room. One time Leo vomited on the floor and Mikey yelled at him for it.

Cautiously Donnie crossed over to his bed. He lightly tapped Leo’s arm. “L-Leo… why’re you in my bed…?” He hoped Leo wouldn't be upset for being woken up.

 Leo groaned but his eyes stayed shut. “Go back to bed Donnie.” His breath smelled of yokai-liquor. It was different from how Papa’s smelled.

With some fear in his voice, Donnie replied: “B-but this is… my bed…”

Leo groaned in his sleep again. “Ugh, find.” He gave an exaggerated sigh before turning over which freed space in the bed.

Donnie stood in place for a moment weighing his options. He couldn't wake up Raph or Mikey because they'd only get angry and Leo couldn't be moved by anyone else, especially himself. He eyed the empty space in the bed next to his brother and decided he would probably get in less trouble for leaving everyone unbothered.

He got into bed beside Leo, making sure not to touch the slider as he did so. He carefully crawled under the blanket and hugged Botticellamby closely. Sleep came quickly, and his mind began to drift into that warm darkness.

Leo shifted next to him, turned over and his arm draped over Donnie, pulling him into a cuddle.

Donnie let out an “eep” in response as he felt the slider’s arms around him. He glanced up at Leo’s sleeping face and his heart began to beat quicker. His chest suddenly felt tight and he could feel his face heating up.

Drool leaked from Leo’s mouth as he began to snore. Donnie watched him and thought he looked so peaceful like this, which only made his face feel hotter. He shifted in Leo’s arms, giving a half attempt at breaking free, but the slider didn't let him go.

Donnie hugged his lamb, mirroring Leo’s hug on him. He listened to the sound of Leo’s breathing and found it soothing; his alcoholic breath adding to the calm.

He resigned to let the slider sleep there undisturbed. If he didn't bother Leo he wouldn't get mad right? It'd only make it worse if he tried to wake him up; an angry sober Leo was bad enough, he didn't want to see what an angry drunk Leo was like.

With Leo’s arms around him Donnie’s mind started to go fuzzy, and his bed suddenly felt gigantic. His limbs felt tingly as they shrank and slowly Donnie felt that weightless feeling he'd had yesterday return. The world grew larger and it felt like a comforting hug around him. He nuzzled the slider’s plastron, then felt embarrassed to have done it, then did it again and left his face resting there. A content sigh left his mouth as his eyes closed.

Donnie felt himself begin to sob softly against his brother's chest. He smiled as big tears left his eyes, his fisted hold on Leo tightening as if he'd disappear if he didn't. He felt safe in his bed, safe in his room, safe in these arms; safer than he'd ever felt before, it felt so alien and foreign.

A childish awareness opened into his mind; he sank down, down, down, and further down into his body until he was the smallest thing in the world. He was so tiny in Leo’s sleeping, drunk arms.

He knew, somewhere deep in his mind, that this wasn't really Leo. The slider was just drunk and not acting right. Maybe it was wrong to enjoy this, to enjoy Leo’s touch; that's probably why he was crying, right? That made the most sense. Donnie fully expected to be in trouble for letting this happen tomorrow, he should have tried harder to stop it. But his fuzzy, little head didn’t think about that for long, only the body warmth around him could he focus on.

So he held himself close to Leo; the usual distantness of their relationship melting away into one of closeness for just this night, one that Donnie knew he didn't deserve and shouldn't enjoy. And Donnie slept without nightmares, because finally—for a moment—he had all he ever needed.

Chapter Text

Donnie found his bed empty of the slider when he woke up the next morning. He had remained in his position from last night, but Leo was nowhere to be found.

Groggily, Donnie rubbed his eyes. He could still feel the warmth of Leo’s body on the bed. He could still smell the alcohol drooled into his sheets. Donnie yawned as a smile came over his face as he remembered last night. How happy he'd felt having his big brother in his bed with him. I need to repay him. Donnie thought. It's only fair.

The small softshell hopped out of bed and changed into a new hoodie. Exiting his room he could hear chatting in the kitchen. He peeked around the wall and saw Raph and Leo speaking between themselves.

Quietly and meekly, Donnie strolled into the kitchen. His brothers’ eyes glanced at him but they kept to their own conversation, though Raph gave a halfhearted wave.

Leo was out of his usual work uniform l, instead sporting a pair of athletic shorts. Ah, easy access. Of course. Donnie came up to Leo as the slider had poured himself a cup of coffee; he turned, almost tripping over the softshell.

“Woah, watch it, Donnie.” Leo sipped from his mug then panted from drinking something too hot.

Donnie played with the hem of his sleeve, glanced at Raph, then back to Leo. “Hi…”

Leo cocked his brow. “Hi?” He bit back a chortle. “What?”

Donnie continued to play with his sleeve as he spoke. “I… I want to say thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't pay you back last night.”

“Last night?” Leo asked, sipping his coffee, this time not burning his mouth. He glanced briefly at Raph.

Donnie tugged at his sleeve. This was embarrassing to do in front of other people. “For when you… came home drunk last night and--”

“You came home drunk again?!” Raph suddenly exclaimed.

“I– I– I–” Leo stuttered. He turned to Raph, glanced at Donnie with a pissed off expression, then looked back to the snapper. “No, I did not . He's making shit up.”

“You went out with April last night though, right?” Raph asked.

Leo waved with his arms as he spoke expressively. “To like, a party. One party. And there was like, barely any drinks there!”

“Then why would Donnie say you were drunk?”

Leo shrugged. “I don't know! He just saying shit, probably for attention.”

Donnie stomped his foot. “I am not! You were drunk and slept in my bed!”

Raph looked from Donnie to Leo. “You did what?”

“I don't know what he's talking about.” Leo side-eyed Donnie and whispered sharply: “Shut the fuck up!” He crossed his arms and took another sip of his coffee.

I should have repaid him last night, now he's mad at me again because I didn't do it soon enough. Donnie thought. He stepped closer to Leo and wrapped his finger around the waistband of the slider's shorts.

Leo jerked back, spilling some of his coffee as he went to pull his shorts back up. “Donnie, what the fuck!”

“I was paying you back…” Donnie cried. He gave another tug at Leo’s shorts before the slider pushed him back.

“By pantsing me?” Leo had sat his coffee mug down.

“You did pass out drunk in his bed. I can't blame him for trying to get back at you,” Raph said.

“I–!” Leo groaned. “Okay, fine! Fuck! I got drunk last night and woke up in Donnie’s bed, happy?!” He threw an angry look at Raph.

“No! I don't want you drinking in the first place, especially if you're gonna just be drunk around your little brother!”

Leo scoffed. “Oh! So sorry, Dad! ” A particular cruelty in the last word.

Raph scoffed. “You're the one starting to act like him. Remember when we were kids? How he was always drinking? At least he kept it mostly hidden, never winding up someone else’s bed!”

“He's not my kid,” Leo spat, throwing a pointing finger at Donnie behind them. “I don't have to walk on eggshells just because he's around. I'm allowed to have fun!”

“That's not what I'm saying! But as his older brother you can at least try to set some fucking example!”

“I shouldn't have to do any of that! You're the oldest! The only reason I ever have to is because you're always too busy to ever do anything!—Donnie fucking stop!” Leo pushed his little brother back once more after he tried to pull down his shorts.

“Sorry for working to support us all,” Raph spat at the slider.

“Well at least I'm not trying to pander to his every whim like Dad always did. ‘Oh, my Donatello’ this, ‘Oh, my Donatello’ that. At least I don't give into his spoiled behavior all the time!”

“I don't either!”

“You never do anything! At least I spend time with everyone unlike you and Dad!”

Donnie stood behind his brothers as they continued to argue about the softshell. Hot tears burned at the corners of his eyes as his brother further dug into each other about Donnie. Ever since Papa had died Leo and Raph’s relationship had grown more and more tense. It was rare that they weren't arguing, and it was usually about Donnie in some way.

He hated being the source of their arguments. Everytime it was his fault. It reminded him often why he should just stay in his room as much as possible. If he wasn't around them then maybe Raph and Leo wouldn't argue so much; they'd have no one to argue about. Maybe they'd actually be happy if Donnie was gone.

Raph saw Donnie’s crying face. “Look you made him cry!” he shouted angrily at Leo. It seemed less out of concern for the softshell and more of just a way to prove his own point.

Leo glanced back at Donnie, then back to Raph. “ I made him cry? I'm not the one who turned this into a giant argument!”

“Well maybe if you didn't come home drunk and bother your brother there wouldn't be an argument!”

“Oh, god forbid I like to have fun.”

Leo and Raph stood only a foot apart. Despite Raph’s much larger size it didn't deter Leo’s rage. The slider glared at his brother from below, his hand at his hips, teeth barred. Raph stood with his arms crossed, mirroring Leo’s expression back; his mask accentuated his anger

Donnie covered his ears with his hands as tears dripped down his cheeks. Even their perceived concern for Donnie turned into more arguments.

Donnie felt the world growing big around him. His brothers’ voice began to roar like thunder. His heart felt humongous in his chest as it beat faster and faster. Through watery eyes Donnie glanced up at his yelling brothers and for a flash of a moment the memory of Leo’s calming presence filled his mind. Donnie stumbled his way forward on tiny, tiny, tiny legs until he felt Leo’s body in front of him. He pulled his arms around the slider from behind, trying to tug him into an embrace like last night.

Leo’s thunderous voice hurt his ears as he yelled, his body seemed to move in both slow motion and too fast too react. “Donnie, get off! Quit it!”

Donnie felt himself land on the floor but could barely see through his tears. His brothers stayed where they were arguing, paying little mind to their younger brother. 

He sobbed. His throat began to hurt and his stomach churned. Panic set into Donnie’s tiny brain, but it was too hard to think critically. He opened his mouth to try to warn his family, ask them for help, but only babbled syllables left his lips before he heaved his empty stomach onto the floor; his body shaking.

Donnie gagged at the taste; it was straight bile. No food had hit his stomach in several days, there was no other flavor to possibly find in the mix. It was pure liquid on the floor, no remnants of a fast meal at all. The scent of it was overwhelming to Donnie’s tiny nose, his already blurry eyes and ringing ears made it even worse.

Still thunderous was Leo’s immense voice when he shouted Mikey’s name. Within seconds the box turtle appeared, saw the puddle of sickness Donnie had ejected and groaned. Quickly, Mikey joined the argument as he went to clean the mess; pushing Donnie back softly as he sprayed the floor with cleaner.

“I'm not your fucking maid you know that?” Mikey had shouted.

Donnie was shaking now. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak, he couldn't see. Everything was fuzzy and blurry. Everything was just light and colors. His emotions were skyscrapers inside him and they bent and twisted in terrifying ways.

Then Donnie barely heard as Mikey said: “Can someone take him to his room so he's not just sitting here crying!” It was a demand not a question.

Leo mumbled something and drug his hand down his face. He lifted Donnie to his feet but the softshell’s legs felt like they'd never taken a step in their life and he fell back to the floor. Leo angrily said something to him before lifting him up and carrying him in his arms with Donnie’s head resting on his shoulder. Leo shouted at his brothers, mostly at Raph, as he left the kitchen.

Donnie could still taste the bile in his mouth as Leo carried him across the apartment. His footsteps felt like earthquakes. He could hear faint talking between Raph and Mikey as the two moved away. He draped his arms around Leo and listened to the sound of his breathing; it was rough given his heightened anger but strangely calming. He tightened his arms around Leo into a hug and felt himself calming.

Donnie nuzzled his face into the crook of Leo’s shoulder lightly, he felt Leo twitch at it but continue walking.

The door to Donnie’s room was opened and Leo sat on the softshell’s bed, prying the little turtle from his body.

Donnie had stopped crying a bit ago, but the evidence on face was still there. He gazed up at his brother with big red eyes. He wiped his nose on his sleeve, then wiped the vomit off his lips and chin.

Leo sighed, pinched the bridge of his beak with his fingers. He sat without saying anything for a moment, then asked: “Why did you tell Raph I came home drunk?” He said it without looking at Donnie.

Donnie sunk himself into his hoodie. “I'm sorry…”

“I get that. But why did you do it?” Leo finally looked at him.

“I didn't know Raph would be upset.”

“Yeah, well, he was and is.” Leo took in a sharp breath. “Look, I did a dumb thing. I did a dumb thing crashing on your bed last night. It's not like I wanted to do that, but unfortunately I wasn't thinking and so for whatever reason ‘drunk me’ decided your bed was the best option.”

“But I didn't mind it…” Donnie said in a hushed tone.

Leo chuffed, stuttered, clearly caught off guard by his brother’s response. He smiled awkwardly with a faint laugh in his voice as he said: “Well, it won't happen again, I promise.”

Donnie’s chest twisted at his brother’s words. He knew it was because he hadn't repaid Leo properly and now he was being punished by the slider again. Maybe if I try now… He moved closer to the slider but Leo brushed him back.

“You're sick, remember. You can't be hugging me or you'll get me sick too.”

Donnie pulled back and went quiet. He doesn't want me. I took too long. I ruined it. It’s my fault.

Leo stood up and slapped his knees. He crossed to the door and looked back to the softshell. “I'll call the school and tell them you're sick and won't be there today.”

Donnie opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Leo filled the empty air with his own response: “Hope you feel better by tomorrow.” There was hardly sincerity behind it. Like Donnie missing school was an inconvenience to them.

Leo closed the door behind him as he left. Donnie hadn't noticed his face was hot before or how his heart had been beating fiercely in his chest when Leo was close by; there had been a comforting, almost nostalgic feeling to his presence.

His emotions still felt big and confusing, though less than when he was in the kitchen minutes ago. He could feel himself calming down despite his still racing heart. His small bedroom remaining a familiar comfort in his confusing life. Scared of how his body was reacting Donnie could only come up with one solution; with a tender hand he dipped his fingers under the hem of his shorts and took comfort in the only way he knew how.

Papa… He thought as a lonely tear breached the surface.

Chapter Text

Donnie shuddered as Mr. Calimar peeled his shorts off, he now sat fully nude on the teacher’s desk. The cephalopod brought the turtle's hips closer to the edge of the desk, knelt down in front of him. Donnie looked down at his teacher who wore a grin that contrasted the turtle’s uncomfortable expression.

Calimar cupped the softshell’s tail forward and stroked a tentacle over the folds making Donnie whine. Calimar chuckled and continued, dipping the head of his tentacles between the lips, eventually coaxing Donnie’s cock to drop.

The cool air of the classroom against Donnie’s member tingled. His body tensed as his sensitive part was further touched by Calimar, the slimy tentacle wrapping around the small shaft.

“You are being such a good boy today, Donatello. Being nice and quiet.” Calimar licked his lips as he eyed the softshell's cock and felt him shaking in his grip.

Donnie whined, keeping his eyes such. His small fingers pressed into the hard surface of the desk as he kept himself as still as possible. His stomach growled in hunger but he ignored it for the time.

Donnie gasped as he felt his teacher’s lips engulf his member. The wet warmth of the squid's mouth sent shivers throughout him. His hips bucked softly and he felt Calimar hummed around him.

Calimar popped his mouth from the young turtle’s cock and stroked it. “I love how you taste so much, Donatello. You fit so perfectly in my mouth.” He licked up the base of Donnie’s cock. “Just the cutest cock.”

Donnie felt his face flush at the compliment, covered his expression with his hand. His legs trembled as they went to close but were blocked by Calimar’s head.

Calimar laughed, pushed Donnie’s legs back apart and looked up at him. “No, no, keep your legs open for me. I am not done enjoying myself.” He dipped back down and took the adolescent cock back into his mouth.

Donnie once again shivered as his teacher began to bob his head up and down. Sucking at the tiny member gleefully. A tentacle traveled up his shell and wrapped around his neck, tightening slightly.

“Look at me, Donatello,” Mr. Calimar spoke from between the turtle’s frail legs.

The turtle cracked open his eyes and stared down at the large body underneath him. The cephalopod’s eyes looked terrifying from down low, more so than when they were above him; like a predator stalking prey from the water.

A twisted grin took Calimar’s face. “Such a good boy. Your father must have been so proud of you.”

Tears bit at the corner of Donnie’s eyes as his teacher spoke. He fought to keep his eyes open, watching Calimar retake his cock into his mouth. It felt disgusting. The texture of the cephalopod’s mouth made his entire body crawl. Bile hit the back of his throat as he fought to keep still and quiet as he was told.

The tentacle around his neck pulled him backwards so he was laying flat on the desk. Calimar stood himself as it happened so it all happened in one swift motion.

Calimar’s black eyes pierced into Donnie from above, his mouth never leaving the boy’s cock at all.

The wet sound of slurping encircled the classroom as Calimar sucked Donnie’s cock. The turtle’s hips bucked into his throat involuntarily, making the boy whine and struggled.

Donnie held the tentacle around his neck for support. He squeezed it in his grip as he watched his teacher’s head move up and down. His skin crawled as the spectacle wearing man stared directly at him, gauging his expressions and reactions.

Donnie’s body began to tense as he reached his climax. His small hips bucked into his teacher’s throat, and with a whine of a moan he shot his load down Calimar’s throat.

Calimar gulped down the turtle’s load eagerly. His slimy tongue lapped up around the member until it was cleaned and drained of every drop of cum. Then he popped his mouth off, his hot breath brushing against the tender organ.

“You came a lot for me, Donatello,” Calimar said with a sickening smile.

Donnie’s chest heaved as he breathed heavily. His tiny body shivering from exhaustion. The tentacle around his neck loosened, he tried to push it off but it retightened. In the next moment Donnie could taste himself in Calimar’s lips as the teacher forced their mouths together. The cephalopod's tongue tracing the inside of his mouth.

Donnie gagged on it, hot tears running down his face. With weak arms he tried to push the man away but Calimar was so much stronger than him. His little legs kicked in protest; Donnie had never liked kissing, even when he was younger Papa always forced him to kiss with tongue. It always tasted so gross, it made the softshell’s stomach turn whenever he was forced to do it.

After a minute Donnie instinctively spread his legs for the man but Calimar disregarded it, pushing the turtle’s legs back together.

“You are just a little slut, are you not?” Calimar snickered as he tentacled the turtle’s pussy, making Donnie whimper. His grip on Donnie’s neck tightened in an uncomfortable way.

Calimar continued, “But unfortunately my wife has been a little upset that her and I haven’t been intimate in a while. You have been taking all my energy, you little sucubus.” He adjusted the obvious boner in his pants. “I have to make some time for her tonight, unfortunately.” Calimar pressed his clothed boner into Donnie’s crotch as he spoke: “Despite how much I would love to fuck you right here, my boy.”

He gave a final squeeze to Donnie’s neck then released him, retracting both of his tentacles and standing upright. He adjusted himself to look presentable once more. “Collect your things, Donatello. You may go now.”

Donnie swallowed, embarrassment filling his face. He slid off the desk, his pussy still wet and leaking. He pulled on his shorts, the crotch rubbing into his sensitive parts making him leak further. Then he pulled on his backpack and left the classroom, and began the walk of shame towards the cafeteria.

Just as he reached the entrance of the cafeteria the bell rang. Students slowly stood, threw away their trash, and brushed past the small turtle towards their classes.

Donnie watched with sad eyes and an empty stomach as the cafeteria emptied and his chance for a meal was lost. It was okay though, he was no stranger to this. Once as a kid he'd gone a full week without food because Papa had said he was getting too fat; maybe this was the universe telling him that.

Donnie turned on his heel and began to travel the hallway towards his next class, chemistry. He clutched his stomach as it growled painfully.

He sat in his usual seat as Ms. Lily began the lesson. She went over particular elements of the yokai periodic table of elements that would be important for the lesson of the day before handing out a worksheet.

Donnie scanned over the paper and got a tinge of confidence in knowing most of the answers off the bat. Grabbing his pencil he began to answer the questions down the page.

Paul moved to a chair next to him and leaned over the turtle. Donnie noticed and retreated slightly into himself as he continued his work.

“You sure that's right?” he asked.

Donnie glanced at him through his thick glasses. “Y-yes…”

Paul looked at the turtle's page then scribbled the answers on his own work.

“H-hey. That's cheating!”

The beetle grabbed Donnie by the collar of his hoodie and lifted him off his chair with ease. “Shit you're light,” he whispered, then continued: “So what? You're not gonna say shit are you?” His mandibles clicked together threateningly as his black orb eyes stared menacingly.

Donnie whimpered and shut his eyes. He shut his mouth into a tight line to not draw attention. Then after a moment of saying nothing Paul dropped him back into his seat making his wince in pain; he rubbed his hip and butt to soothe it.

Paul went back to copying his work, stealing glances at Donnie’s sheet every time the turtle wrote something down.

Donnie shifted in his seat to try and block the prying eyes but the beetle yokai pulled him out of the way roughly.

This went on for the rest of the class. They'd had a lab experiment and Paul had forcefully paired up with Donnie. Throughout the lab Paul had badgered the turtle in harsh whispers while he forced Donnie to do the work.

By the end of class he and Paul had gotten a full score, with a bit of surprise from Ms. Lily. “You paired up with Paul?” she had asked Donnie privately. Which Donnie had nodded his head in response. “Did you want to be paired with him?” Again Donnie had nodded a lie.

As the bell rang and Donnie began to walk to his next class he began to think over what Ms. Lily had said. While he hadn't chosen to pair with Paul, the beetle had chosen to pair with him. It was strange being chosen by someone for something; Donnie was rarely the first choice by others for things that didn't involve his body and even then he wasn't the first pick.

Did Paul want something more from him? It was the likeliest answer. Paul did seem to mess with him a lot more than others, maybe he was trying to singal something to the softshell.

Donnie entered the gymnasium as the other students went to the locker rooms to change. He took a seat on the bleachers as the coach entered. Then once the rest of the class returned, now changed, the coach—a swan yokai—explained the exercises they would be doing today before instructing everyone to get up and begin.

Donnie hated gym class, more than he hated math with Mr. Calimar. He was never able to keep up with the other kids, too much movement would make his legs and hips hurt. One day they were supposed to run laps and Donnie kept struggling from the pain it kept causing him; eventually that had caused him to wet himself and he had to go change in the office. Donnie still remembered it and was sure the coach did as well.

Today they were going to do rope climbing and Donnie already knew he was going to fail.

The coach, Mrs. Trefari, set up the ropes; they hung down from the ceiling about a meter off the floor. Then she called everyone down from the bleachers and organized everyone into lines in front of the ropes. She stopped at Donnie, looked him up and down, then said, “No gym clothes again, Donatello?”

Donnie tugged nervously at his sleeve without giving an answer.

“That's points docked from class today.” Trefari moved past him to address the rest of the class: “Touch the bell at the top and you can go sit,” she said. Then she blew her whistle and started the exercise.

Donnie stood five people back from the rope but it was too close for comfort already. He knew he wouldn't make it up the rope and he knew everyone would just laugh at him. He tried to remember Mrs. Trafari’s words of encouragement, saying that it was okay if he didn't make it all the way as long as he tried his hardest. It didn't make Donnie feel any better.

“Move it!” the student behind Donnie said, shoving him forward.

Donnie had been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed it was now his turn. He swallowed harshly as he eyed the rope hanging over the soft mat.

Anxiously he gripped the rope. Already he could feel his legs beginning to shake nervously as all the eyes seemed to lock onto him. They knew he couldn't do it, they knew he would fail, he always failed. He wouldn't be able to climb this rope and would just embarrass himself in front of everyone.

“Bro, hurry up!” someone behind him shouted, making Donnie jump.

Donnie gulped then tightened his grip on the rope and pulled himself upwards. His frail arms already began to shake as moved slowly, then fell back onto the mat, hissing as his hips hit the ground.

There were snickers behind him and he felt his face going hot in embarrassment.

“Come on, Donatello! Try again!” Trefari yelled, further calling attention to the turtle.

Donnie stood himself back up and tried again, getting barely even as high as he has the first time before falling again. His waist hit the mat and he groaned at the pain, feeling a small trickle of warmth from between his legs. Panic hit him instantly. Hold it, hold it, hold it! he told himself.

He raised his hand up. “M-Mrs. Trefari! I have to use the bathroom!”

The swan yokai huff then crossed her wings. “Okay, but make it quick.”

Donnie scrambled to his feet, hands held over his hoodie, knees buckled inward. His little feet pattered against the floor as he locked the stall door. He just made it before his bladder broke and he was pouring into the toilet. A rare bit of relief came over him at actually making it to the bathroom on time.

He finished peeing then cleaned himself, flushed, washed his hands, and returned to the gym. By the time he got back all the other students were sitting on the bleachers waiting as the coach addressed the room.

Donnie sneaked himself into an isolated place in the bleachers. He faced the swan, noted how she glanced at him for a moment then returned to speaking.

“We'll be playing dodgeball for the class. I'm going to divide you all into teams and you'll be on opposite sides of the gym.”

Mrs. Trefari then began grouping students, ending with Donnie. The turtle quietly joined his team, although he didn't know anyone on it. He glanced around the students when he saw Paul on the opposite team staring at him. There was a smile on his insect face that scared Donnie to his core.

“Alright everyone to the back wall, you go when I blow my whistle,” Trefari said.

Everyone moved as told. Donnie could still see Paul eyeing him like a predator. He seemed to whisper something to a student next to him, who followed Paul’s eyeline, looked back to Paul and laughed at whatever was said.

Donnie hated dodgeball, he hated gym class in general, but dodgeball was the worst. In the Hidden City dodgeball used mystic balls; the balls would lock onto and track the thrower’s target and the only way not to get hit was to catch it. But he could never catch them and he always seemed to get targeted by the other team. He wasn't good at throwing back either so he felt useless on his team.

Mrs. Trefari set out dodgeballs in the middle of the gym floor, then blew her whistle. Both teams raced for the center and grabbed up as many balls as they could and a battle was started. When a student’s ball was caught or they got hit they had to run a lap and Donnie got hit the most, but in his case he walked the lap because running hurt too much.

A ball hit him in the chest and he limped his way to the edge of the gym to run his lap; a second ball hit him as he walked, nearly knocking him over. He looked over his shoulder and saw Paul laughing.

Donnie walked his lap then returned to his team, where once again he was hit over and over. Each time he was hit it got Paul laughing harder and the turtle was back making laps. By the end of the game Donnie had walked around the gym thirty times. His feet hurt and his legs hurt more. He was happy it was over.

“Alright everyone,” Trefari said, “head to the locker rooms and clean up and change. You all stink.” She laughed before turning to her office.

Donnie unfortunately did stink. He had fallen onto the floor several times and built up sweat from attempts to run away from balls homing in on him and from walking around the gym several times. Thankfully the locker room had individual personal showers so Donnie always felt a bit more comfortable with it.

The class filed into the locker room. Most of them just changed and left while a few got ready to take showers; one of them being Paul.

The insect yokai grabbed his change of clothes and a towel before entering the small personal shower. The showers had two sections: one was the actual shower part, and the other was a small space between the shower and the rest of the locker room for one to dry off and change; both had curtains to close for privacy.

Donnie cleaned himself up at one of the sinks as the various showers went on. Slowly, steam flooded the room. He he turned to the door to leave he heard a small clatter, spun around, and saw something had fallen over from inside one of the occupied showers. The person inside it hadn't noticed so Donnie, after taking a moment to think, decided to help this person out quietly.

He crossed to the shower, pulled open the first curtain quietly and saw a backpack fallen off its hook. Donnie carefully picked up the bag and hung it back up and noticed the several keycharms attached to it; they jingled as he hung the backpack.

“What the fuck!”

Donnie looked up and saw Paul staring back at him from around the curtain.

Donnie fell back as he spun around. The curtain pulled open and Paul stared down at Donnie angrily. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

“You fucking pervert!” he shouted.

Donnie scrambled up and ran to leave but the hood of his hoodie was caught by Paul and yanked him back. Donnie whined as he struggled to escape his grip. Paul threw him into the main area of the locker room and marched after him.

The yokai’s segmented exoskeleton glistened as the water dripped down it. His abdomen protruded plushly from his backside, accentuating the thin, suppleness of his body.

The few yokai occupying the other showers peaked out to see what was causing the commotion and spotted a nude Paul standing over a crying Donnie.

“Dude, what's going on?”

“This little pervert was peeking on me in the shower!” Paul pointed a finger at Donnie.

Donnie held an arm over his face to hide his red-faced shame. “N-no, I was-- I was-- your backpack, it fell and I—”

“Oh so you're a thief and a pervert!” Paul snapped.

Donnie shook his head, trying his best to defend himself from the accusations thrown at him.

The other yokai in the room slowly exited their showers; wearing a towel around themselves, unlike Paul.

“He was what?!”

“Dude, that's gross!”

“What the hell is wrong with him?”

Donnie tried to crawl away but he was pulled back by the ankle, riding up his hoodie until it bunched at the top of his plastron.

“Holy shit, the little fucker has a boner!” one of the other yokai said. The rest of them had since exited their showers, most wearing towels unlike Paul.

“Oh my Heads he’s turned on right now,” another yokai said. “He's getting turned on looking at you, Paul!” They laughed.

Paul snickered. “Never took you for being gay, Donnie. But I guess it makes sense the way you're always hanging on Mr. Calimar.”

“Holy shit, his dick just twitched dude!” One of them cackled.

“You want Mr. Calimar to fuck you, Donnie? You want his tentacles all over you, huh?” Paul teased. “I'd bet a pervert like you would love that, getting touched by a teacher like that. You'd probably do it for free too, slutting yourself out to the school faculty.”

Burning tears felt at home in Donnie’s eyes. His body was shaking as he took Paul’s verbal assault.

“Well if you want Calimar to fuck you so bad, how about we go pay him a visit right now?” Paul grabbed Donnie by his hood and began dragging him towards the door as the turtle struggled and fought. “Oh, but Mr. Calimar is such a respectable and upstanding man. We wouldn't want to subject him to something like you.” He pulled Donnie back to the center of the room and dropped him there.

“But we can't just leave you like this,” Paul motioned to Donnie’s erection. “That would be so rude huh? And unlike some people who look where they're not supposed to, I'm not that rude.”

“Woah, dude. You gonna fuck him?” a yokai asked.

“Fuck no! But I'm gonna give him what he wants and teach him a fucking lesson!”

“How?”

Paul stood for a moment thinking, clearly he hadn't had a real plan before this. Then his face lit up before turning into a twisted grin, and it was obvious he'd come up with something terrible.

“Rick, you still play tennis?” Paul asked a spider yokai. Rick nodded, then Paul continued: “Go get your tennis racket.” He yanked Donnie by his hoodie and forced him onto his stomach as the slider yokai opened a locker and pulled out a tennis racket.

“Terra,” Paul ordered, “Go lock the door.”

An equestrian yokai crossed to the locker room’s door. “There's no lock.”

“Then put a trashcan or something in front of it!” Paul turned to Rick and took the racket from him. He maneuvered Donnie’s small body in his grip, holding the small boy so he couldn't break from. “Someone hold his legs apart.”

Those words send terror through Donnie’s body. Hand took him by the ankles and forced them away from each other, exposing his lower half to the group.

“So what are you doing, Paul?”

The insect yokai gripped the tennis racket in his hand before moving it towards Donnie’s backside. “I'm gonna give the slut exactly what he fucking wants.” He pressed the end of the racket at Donnie’s butthole, the soft flesh winking in the cold air.

Donnie’s body froze at the coldness of the metal against him. He fought against the grips holding him down, he clenched himself as hard as he could to stop it from entering him. Because for the first time in his life he could remember, he didn't want it.

“Stop it! Stop it! P-please! I'm sorry, please stop!” Donnie’s cries were met with laughter.

The little turtle gasped as the handle’s end entered him, his hole stretching around the tip before more is forced inside him. A shaky cry exits his mouth as he's forced to endure the pain. Their laughter became echoes in his ears.

Paul is not gentle, he gives no reprieve. He shoved the handle deep into Donnie, hitting inside the turtle until his ass touches the head, and the shaft is stretching his open wider than he's ever been. Then without a break he rips it back out and shoves it back in.

Donnie shook as the sports equipment was forced into him over and over, hitting his deepest parts, penetrating against his inner wall painfully. He shook and pulled and struggled with everything his small body could muster but couldn't break free. Y'all he could do was scream: “Papa! Papa, help! Papa!”

Laughter.

“Bitch is calling for his daddy!”

“Maybe he wants his dad to fuck him too!”

“A real slut wants it no matter what!”

“I think he's enjoying it, look how wet he is!”

“I think that's blood actually.”

Donnie felt it running down his legs; the warm, sticky, wetness of blood. It oozed from his anus as Paul continued to roughly sodomize him. He cried into Paul's chest, snot and tears pouring down his cheeks.

It went on forever; the laughter, the pain, the crying and begging. That locker room became a torture house and his bullies watched with morbid glee.

Paul took the racket by the top and smashed it into Donnie, it hit rammed against the inner barrier preventing it from going any deeper; Donnie choked on a gasp as it happened. The beetle ground it around inside the turtle for a small moment, then dropped him from his grip. The group of yokai teens stood back to observe their work.

Paul then kicked Donnie in the stomach, knocking the air out of the softshell. A few of the other yokai joined in, taking hits at the small turtle for several minutes before leaving him be.

“Hope you liked it pervert,” Paul yelled. He spat at Donnie then spun around to his shower.

The group finished cleaning themselves, returning to their showers unbothered by the mess of a turtle. Then they collected their things and left. Leaving the shaking, hurt softshell on the floor; tennis racket still inside.

Donnie laid there in pain shivering. It took all his strength to not choke on the air and take full breaths. Every part of his body ached. His vision had gone blurry, white spots appearing in his eyes. All he could do was lay there and wait for it all to subside. The tennis racket lodged inside him eventually fell out of him painfully, followed by blood dripping out of his hole.

He reached up to the bench nearby, and shakily pulled himself up. He winced in pain as he tried to stand, but it just hurt so much. Donnie was still crying as he pulled himself across the room to a shower. He turned it on only to be met with ice cold water; his small body retained so little heat.

Biting the bullet, Donnie let the water run over him. He laid there on the tiled floor and just let the blood rinse down the drain. It burned on his open wounds. He sobbed to himself in the empty locker room, curled up in the shower and soaking his hoodie.

He felt embarrassed at the ordeal. He was mad at himself for messing up, he was a pervert after all. Only a pervert would let their teacher fuck them. Paul was right, he was a slut, and Donnie probably was trying to peek at Paul; he had gotten a boner. The backpack was just a lie to get out of trouble. He'd deserved everything that happened then, it was all his fault.

When the blood finally stopped Donnie was done. He turned off the shower and left the locker room with his backpack and a soaked hoodie. He spent the rest of the school day wet, cold, and sore.

Donnie left the school at the end of the day a little dryer. His hoodie was still wet but it’d dried over the last hours. With a limp—larger than usual—he got on the pathway to home.

He rubbed the growing black eye on his face, thankfully covered by his mask; he didn't want his brothers to see, they’d just find a way to get mad at him for it.

“You lost a fight?” they'd say. “What the hell was all that ninja training for?”

Donnie sniffled at the imaginary but plausible words in his head. He kept his head down, watching his feet as he walked. The cracks in the sidewalk passing by as he tried his best to walk as quickly as he could so as to not be too late home.

There was a small rustle in a bush as he passed, he stopped, turned back to it. The bush rustled again and curiosity replaced melancholy. Donnie inched closer to the bush, then heard a small noise from within. He reach out and pulled apart the branches and a blur of movement passed in front of him.

Donnie fell back and sat on the sidewalk where he'd fallen. Looking up, he glimpsed at the thing that had jumped at him: a cat. It was dark-furred with a neon tint. It's eyes were bright green and the tip of its tail and paws were white. It stared back at Donnie as Donnie stared at it.

They sat quietly like that for some time. Donnie felt unnerved by the feline, like it was peering inside of him. It blinked, squinted, then stepped closer to Donnie. It brushed itself along the turtle, circling him before coming to sit on his leg.

“Uh… Hi,” Donnie said to it.

The cat tilted its head, still watching Donnie intently. It's pupils were thin slits as it stood still, then they dilated to cover the entire eye and it began to pur.

Donnie felt it rumble against him and the despair from before melted away. He raised his hand tentatively to pet it. The cat allowed. Donnie pet the cat. Its fur was soft in his hand, strange for even a street cat. It wore no collar so Donnie assumed it belonged to no one.

Several minutes went by as Donnie let the cat move fully into his lap. It curled there and shut its eyes, the purring only growing. Donnie felt it ringing inside his head like calming white noise. The chaoticness of his mind straightening out into viable images and thoughts.

A shadow fell over the two of them and finally Donnie looked up. The sun had set significantly and the Atlas Eyes were already beginning to twinkle above. He scrambled to his feet, accidentally knocking the cat down.

“Ah! Sorry, kitty!” he apologized.

The cat meowed back, licking its paw then rubbing itself around Donnie’s leg once more.

“Sorry, kitty, I got to go home.” Donnie turned and began a limping jog back to his family's apartment. He glanced over his shoulder and saw the cat following behind briskly. He watched it chase after him for a while before it turned and lept into a nearby house’s yard, then disappeared into its bushes.

Donnie faces ahead once more as he got home. He entered the apartment and immediately went to his room as he always did, passing by the kitchen to see Mikey cooking.

Once in his room he threw down his bag and pulled his wet hoodie over his head, tossing it into his hamper before switching into a new sweater; a particularly cozy one. As he felt the fuzzy interest of the sweater it reminded him of the soft fur of the cat and how it had calmed him. Its purring replayed in his head and he felt himself swaying as if a tree in the wind.

He felt so… calm. It was strange. His mind was normally moving a hundred mile an hour, constantly buzzing and moving and speaking and talking. Thought after thought running through his mind and not letting him have a moment of mental peace, but now—as he thought of that cat; how it's eyes grew so large and it's purring shook the ground around him—his mind was still. His mind was empty.

No school. No brothers. No bullies. No homework. No teachers. No papa.

How can peace and quiet be so terrifying?

Chapter Text

Splinter coaxed his hand across Donnie’s cheek, the small turtle nuzzled into it. The rat had Donnie laying on his back in bed, with himself nude. Splinter trailed his fingers along Donnie’s body, groping him in every place.

Donnie whined uncomfortably as Papa touched his clothed butt. The rat’s slender fingers groping the baby fat of the toddler turtle.

“Papa, this feels weird…” Donnie whispered.

The rat ignored his words and began to pull at his small shorts. Donnie wiggled his legs to keep them up but Papa was stronger, he yanked the thin cloth from his body and stared hungrily between Donnie’s legs.

Papa brought a finger to Donnie’s slit and began to scissor it, giving no warning to entering.

Donnie yelped in pain but found his body glued to the bed. His body wouldn't move no matter how much he tried. He stared up at his Papa’s face, it had a montourus expression. He opened his mouth to speak, to try and tell Papa to stop, but no sound came out.

Papa’s finger dug into him, tickling his insides until his whole body felt buzzy; slick leaked from his opening.

“Excited, my son? You want Papa that much?” Splinter’s voice sounded poisonous.

Donnie shook his head, unable to speak; it was his only way of communicating. Splinter ignored it.

The rat’s fingers continued to dig into Donnie; he swore he could feel it in his tummy. Splinter leaned forward, bringing his mouth next to Donnie’s ear, he whispered; “I love you so much, Donatello.”

Donnie gasped, he wanted to yell but he could only gasp as he felt Splinter spear him with his cock. The fingers had done little to help, the rat was huge and his attempts at preparation never helped.

Papa thrust hard and Donnie whined. It hurt so bad. He could feel it so painfully deep inside his belly. Donnie put his arms up to push Papa away but the rat held them above his head; his hand was so big around Donnie’s tiny ones.

Another thrust and Donnie’s back arched as finally a cry escaped him. A cry of absolute pain shot from the turtle’s mouth as tears came down his face. Surely a father, surely a parent would come immediately to his child’s side to ease their pain. Surely he could do all in his power to soothe the toddler.

Splinter didn't.

Another thrust and Donnie wailed. “It hurts! P-Papa it hurts, please!” He could barely speak between his sobs, his throat felt so hoarse already. How long had he been crying?

Splinter ignored his pleas. He increased his pace, sheathing himself fully into the young mutant, their flesh slapping loudly. The bed shook from their movement.

Donnie pulled at the hand holding his arms up. He kicked his little legs against Papa’s sides; his legs spread so painfully far apart. Papa paid no mind to it, he didn't let Donnie’s protests stop him.

Donnie cried into the bedsheets, drool mixing with his tears.

“Oh, Donatello…”

Donnie stared out through tearful eyes as tentacles wrapped around him. Mr. Calimar’s glasses glinted in the light as he stood next to Splinter.

The cephalopod's tentacles wrapped around the both of them, squeezing at Donnie’s frail body. Slick slime from the tendrils left trails along his body and made Donnie shiver in disgust.

“P-papa, make him stop…!” Donnie cried.

A tentacle wrapped around his throat choking his voice. His cries died out, replaced with choking gags as Splinter thrusted harder.

Tentacles pulled that rat and turtle closer, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Donnie could smell the stench of Splinter’s breath and the faint coffee aroma of Calimar around them.

Donnie glanced to his side, saw his brothers watching.

“God, Dad spoils him so much!”

“He's dad’s little pet! Always getting all the special treatment.”

“Yeah, he's Dad’s pet, he's not our brother.”

Donnie reached a frail hand out to his siblings. He choked as he tried to scream. Then they turned away, ignoring his pain.

The tentacle around Donnie’s neck tightened, and his face turned red. He was forced to look up at the rat and cephalopod above him, how they moved in tandem, thrusting into the turtle roughly, chasing their own pleasure.

Donnie could hardly focus with his vision so blurry. He was so small and helpless, just a tiny plaything for the two of them. He wanted to scream but his voice came out in a whimper.

Splinter and Calimar’s thrusts increased and Donnie’s hips felt so sore.

Splinter leaned down, his face inches from Donnie’s. “I love you, my Donatello~”

His voice made Donnie sick, and he fought to escape to no avail. The rat’s face lowered to him until their lips touched and Donnie’s body convulsed. His blinked back tears hurriedly as his heart pounded in his chest.

He wanted to run away, to get away. He hated this. He hated this. Then as his tears parted the lips against his were Calimar’s and the tentacles became rat tails. And finally Donnie found his voice and he wailed until his throat bled.

Donnie shot up in bed panting heavily. He couldn't see so he reached for his glasses and slipped them onto his face. His entire body was shaking and felt burning hot.

At the foot of the bed Donnie noticed the cat from the other day standing, staring right at him like it had been scared awake. His mind was already running one thousand miles an hour and he couldn't form words. His tear filled eyes could only stare at the animal as if trying to speak from them.

“K--kitty…” was all Donnie could squeak from his mouth.

Then, as if it understood him, the cat crept across the bed and rubbed itself against the turtle.

Donnie was holding himself tight as the feline circled him and it was so hard to focus on the animal in his bed. His head was so loud, everything was screaming at him. Then he felt the vibration of its purring against his soft shell, and it rumbled deep into his core.

The thoughts in his mind, like screams and angry cries, shook away like loose dirt, leaving his head empty and silent. His body stopped its shaking and his breathing slowed. Donnie swallowed as the faint sound of his room came to his ears.

The cat around him then sat in his lap to peer up as the crying turtle. Donnie brushed his hands down its back and the cat nuzzled into the touch.

The tightness of his throat eased and he croaked out: “How did you get in here…?”

The cat meowed, waved a paw across the room. Donnie followed it and saw his window open. Light rain pattered at the windowsill, distant thunder rumbled.

“Oh I forgot to close the window! Aw, Raph is gonna be mad.” Donnie moved to get off the bed but the cat stood firmly in his lap. He looked back at it as it clawed lightly in place, spun around and laid down. “But I—” his words cut off as the cat began to purr again and his mind went blank.

His eyes began to grow heavy as he pets the cat again. He laid back down and the cat moved to lay on his chest, and it's purring coarsed through Donnie like an earthquake. Donnie wanted to protest just a bit, his half open eyes glancing at the open window and small raindrops fell into his room. But he couldn't move, an immobilizing comfort kept him locked in place.

Would Raph be mad? He didn't know. His brain wasn't able to hold that thought for long. How unusual for him that he wasn't able to vividly imagine his brothers’ anger. He would have been terrified of not knowing if he was able to register terror right now.

His bedroom began to grow around him. He sinks into the cushion of his bed. Heavy blankets wrap tightly around him, and his head is engulfed in his pillow. His arms are tingly, his brain is tingly. He runs his hand over the sleeping cat on his chest and he has a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Donnie sat at his usual table at the far end of the cafeteria. His headphones sat around his thin neck as he ate the minute food he'd brought for lunch; three sticks of celery and a cup of water. He was already halfway through the first stick as he took a sip of water.

It hurt his mouth a bit to chew. His jaw moved in slow rhythm. He would follow each bite with a sip of water, filling himself up quicker. He yawned as he'd been feeling tired most of the day. Donnie had barely been able to stay up during his last classes.

Donnie took another bite, took a sip of water. The first stick of celery was gone. Excellent job. He eyed the next two pieces of celery like they were mocking him. He hesitated to pick one up when his table became surrounded.

“Hey, Don!” Paul greeted the turtle in a harsh tone. “Why're you sitting all by yourself?”

Donnie tensed up as he watched the insect and other yokai stand around him. His lips quivered as he stuttered to speak. His hands fell into his lap and tightened into nervous fists.

“You mind if we sit with you? The cafeteria is a bit full.” Paul sat down before Donnie could reply. “Thanks man. You're a life saver.” He sat his meal tray on the table and sat next to the turtle before taking a bite of his food.

The other yokai sat themselves around, filling up the small table quickly. Donnie glanced nervously at them, darting his eyes away quickly to avoid eye contact.

Paul took a bite of his food, glanced at Donnie, then asked: “Are you gonna keep eating?” When Donnie did respond the insect snapped his finger. “Hey, I'm talking to you. It's rude to ignore people.”

“I–I'm sorry…” Donnie chirped out. He begrudgingly faced the beetle, staring up at those big, black eyes through his thick glasses.

“Good. Now I asked you, are you going to eat your lunch or not?”

“Not much of a lunch, is it?” One of the other yokai laughed.

Donnie looked at the celery sticks and his water and weighed the options. This felt like when Papa would feed him. He'd asked Donnie if he wanted more food; there was already a right and wrong answer. Was this time like that? Was Paul testing him? He's already eaten one and his stomach was growling anymore, so maybe he was full? But he didn't feel full.

Before Donnie could think further Paul had snatched up a piece of celery and bit into it. “Is this really all you brought to eat? Not much of a lunch, more of a snack.” He dropped it back in its case before taking a bite of his own food.

Paul continued: “Hey, why don't you try some of my lunch!” Paul scooped up a forkful of his meal and shoved it at Donnie’s face.

Donnie turned away and held his mouth shut. This was definitely a test. He scooted backwards in his chair trying to keep the food from his mouth.

“Not even gonna try it?” Paul asked. He leaned towards the turtle in his chair and grabbed him by the face. His hands traveled down to Donnie’s jaw and squeezed. “It's very rude to not try the food someone offers you.” He forced Donnie’s mouth open and shoved the fork in his mouth, depositing the small bite against Donnie's tongue.

Donnie reeled back in his chair and immediately spat it out. After taking a moment to breath he looked back up at Paul with a fearful expression.

“Dude, the fuck is your problem?” Paul asked angrily. He turned to his friends at the table and said, “Can you believe this? He doesn't even try the food I give him.”

“Damn, what a prick.” One of them replied. Donnie recognized them as the equine yokai named Terra

Donnie's body was beginning to feel hot and tingly. He could feel large tears traveling down his cheeks and off his chin. The sounds of the cafeteria were starting to become too much for him. Donnie reached for his headphones but had them snatched away by one of Paul’s friends.

“Are you trying to ignore us right now?” they said.

“I thought we were friends, weren't we? You don't ignore your friends,” Terra said.

Donnie pulled himself into the fetal position in his chair. He was trying to keep himself together as he felt the room slowly growing. He was fighting it in his head, Don't go small. Don't go small. Don't go small. It was almost painful to fight it, it took so much of his mental energy to keep himself from disappearing into the static buzz.

He tried to focus on specific things; the feeling of the chair against his back, the many distant conversations, the flickering white lights, the sun in the window, the cold air conditioning, how his sweater shifted against his skin, the weight of his classes on his face.

Don't go small. Don't go small. Don't go small.

“Donnie, are you alright?” Donnie knew that voice. It cut through the overwhelming of his senses like butter until it was all he was focused on. He turned his head towards it and that familiar wolf shape was standing over him.

“Donnie, are they bothering you?” Ms. Lily asked him again. She glared at the yokai sitting around Donnie, then looked back to the turtle; her expression going soft.

“Relax, Ms. Lily,” Paul interjected, “We're all just having our lunch together as friends.” He pulled Donnie next to him, his exoskeletal arm wrapping around the turtle’s thin frame in a mocking faux-hug.

“Mr. Kafka, I was not speaking to you.” She said this without looking at Paul, though that didn't seem to bother him. She repeated her question to the turtle, “Donnie, are they bothering you?”

Donnie felt Paul’s arm tighten slightly. He kept his eyes locked onto the table with his body still; he was still fighting desperately to not shrink in the cafeteria, especially with so many people around. Donnie shook his head without looking at Ms. Lily.

“Are you sure?” Her voice was full of worry yet it sounded so strict at the same time.

Donnie glanced in her direction, barely turning his head as his eyes looked at her. “I'm fine…” he let out almost as a whisper.

“See, Ms. Lily,” Paul started, “Just friends hanging out. Isn't that right, Donnie?” He shook Donnie playfully.

Donnie nodded his head, his eyes back to staring at the table. Don't go small. Don't go small. Don't… Go… Small… It was getting harder by the second. Paul’s arm was gigantic around him. Pulling him tight into an unwanted comforting pressure. The ringing in his ears grew louder and louder, made worse by the noise of the cafeteria voices.

Ms. Lily had left after saying something more but Donnie hadn't heard it. Maybe it was something important. Was she mad at him? He did practically ignore her. Donnie wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow she was meaner to him because of it.

Paul released Donnie from his grip and rested on the table. “Fucking bitch…” he said in a low breath. Then he turned to Donnie and spoke in his normal tone: “You're a real one, Donnie. That's why we're best buddies.” His tone was mocking but Donnie couldn't help but hear sincerity in it.

“How's that eye of yours by the way?” one of the yokai asked. “I know we did a number on you last time.”

“Oh, yeah!” Paul nodded. “Sorry, buddy, but it was important you learned not to watch people while they shower. It was hard but fair. Honestly, it hurt me more than it hurt you.”

Donnie didn't respond. He sniffled as more tears came down his face.

Paul cocked his head, waited for a response, then continued, “No answer? Alright I'll check myself.” Faster than Donnie could react the insect pulled the mask over his face. “Oh, buddy, that looks bad,” he punctuated his sentence with a laugh.

The skin around Donnie’s right eye had swollen slightly and turned a deep green and purple. Donnie flinched at Paul's touch and tried to move away but the insect held him by the arm as he ogled the bruise he and his friends had left.

Paul tutted his tongue. “You need to get an ice pack on there, man.” He poked at it which made Donnie whine and jerk away. Finally after a minute Paul released the turtle.

Donnie immediately pulled his mask back down and repositioned his glasses. His hands began to shake and his head was filling with static. Don't… Go… Small… Don't… Go… Small…— He was going small. He couldn't fight it anymore. It was happening now and he couldn't do anything about it.

Everything around him became took much. The voices of the room were thunder, the sun in the window was blinking, the chair against his body was painfully hard. He looked down at the floor and it was miles away, he was sure to break a limb if not worse if he fell off his chair. Next he looked up at the yokai around the table with him and they were speaking to him in monstrous, thundering voices that echoed in his head yet were muffled behind heavy static in his ears.

They watched him with peering eyes. They definitely knew he was small now. They had to know. It was so obvious to everyone that Donnie had shrunk and shrunk and shrunk until he was a minuscule thing so easy to be picked up and tossed around.

They said something to him. Donnie could tell because their mouths were moving. He wanted to know what they said, it terrified him not to. But he just couldn't understand what they said, all he could do was stare stupidly up at their faces like an idiot.

Donnie whined in desperation. His hands clutched at the sides of his head as he fought to know, to understand. It was too much, everything was too much. The world was so overwhelming and every second he sat here in this chair, in this room, at this table was agonizingly slow. Nothing moved, nothing changed. Donnie felt frozen where he was and it was so painful.

The bell rang.

There was a sudden breath of air shot into Donnie’s lungs. Has he been holding his breath? He didn't remember. Students around him slowly got up to leave. Why? Oh, yes, the bell rang. Lunch is over. Grabbing his headphones off the table and swinging his backpack on Donnie stood up from his chair. He took a moment to catch himself, surprised he hadn't broken a leg.

A hard slap hit Donnie against his ass making him jump and yelp. He spun around, met Paul’s eyes as he laughed. “See you around, Racket Boy .”

Donnie’s body tensed at the name. The words bringing back the memory of the day. The pain he'd felt, the surrealness of those original moments. Paul looked so towering right now as he laughed at the turtle.

Donnie began to cry harder, his tears were massive. He spun back around and ran off, leaving his “friends” behind. Not much of a friend am I? he thought.

His head was full of static. His limbs felt so tired. The hallways felt so much longer than they'd used to. How many steps has he taken so far? He should have been there by now.

Donnie came to a crossroads in the hallway. To his left he could see Ms. Lily’s classroom, the door was open, light pouring through onto the tiled floor. He spotted her in the classroom speaking to someone. To his right was Mr. Calimar’s class, the door shut, sickening white light coming from the frosted window.

Donnie heaved as he breath, eyes darting from left to right unable to make a choice. Ms. Lily was mer feet away, he could hear her laugh at something someone had said. Students brushed past him as he wracked his brain to decide.

Racket Boy.

Paul’s words echoed in his head. With them came reminders of how Donnie had treated Ms. Lily; cold and distant. He'd rudely ignore that wolf yokai when she spoke to him. So the choice was obvious. She didn't want to see him, she was clearly mad at him. Donnie had never seen her mad before, not directed at him at least. He wouldn't know what to expect, what punishment would come his way.

Donnie turned to the right and threw himself into Calimar’s classroom. The cephalopod sat in the quiet, emptiness of the room at his desk grading paper. He looked up as Donnie stepped in and smiled.

“Donatello, how lovely to see you?”

Donnie sniffed, opened his mouth but couldn't speak.

Calimar stood from his desk and crossed over to the turtle. He knelt down and patted the younger one’s back. “Goodness, Donatello, what is the matter?”

Donnie rubbed his teary eyes as he let himself fully fall apart. “P-Paul… mean… hurt… Lily… mad…”

“Paul? Who is Paul?” Calimar asked.

Donnie sniffed then squeaked out: “Friend.”

“Your friend was mean to you?”

Donnie nodded.

“And you say Ms. Lily is upset with you?”

Again Donnie nodded.

“Aw, my sweet, Donatello.” Calimar pulled the turtle into a hug and let him cry into his chest. “It will be okay.”

Donnie tugged on Calimar’s shirt as he buried his face in the crook of his neck. “You… not… mad…” His voice was so small.

“No, of course I am not mad at you. You are my favorite student, Donatello.”

Donnie tightened his hood around Calimar. He brought his hip forward and grinded against the cephalopod. At Calimar’s knelt down position their crotches met, and the teacher reacted by pressing himself closer to Donnie.

“Does my favorite student need his favorite teacher?”

Donnie nodded as he continued to grind into Calimar.

“I still have some time between classes. I think we have time for a quickie.”

Donnie heard the sound of a door being locked as he was lifted from the floor. He felt the hard wood of the desk on his ass before Calimar brought their lips together. Donnie hated it but could muster energy to pull away.

Tentacles traveled under his sweater and groped his frail body before the article of clothing was removed from him entirely. His back was pressed against the desk as sickening, wet kisses were littered over his emaciated body.

Donnie moaned as his teacher touched him, removed his shorts, stood himself between the small green legs. He felt Calimar enter him making him arch his back; it was painful, it was agonizing, and his body craved it.

Calimar leaned down so their bodies were pressed together as his thrusts shifted Donnie’s body forward and pushed the air from his lungs. The cephalopod's face went to the crook of the turtle’s neck and Donnie could hear the noises he made as they fucked.

Donnie threw his arms around his teacher to hold him close. His legs spread apart and rested uncomfortably around the old yokai’s waist. Tentacles wrapped around his body, grey fur clenched between the grip of his finger. At least this was familiar.

Chapter Text

Donnie woke up from a particularly bad nightmare, although it was not the worst he's ever had. He groaned as he came to, feeling a heavy weight on his chest. He creaked open his eyes and saw the street cat curled up on his chest asleep, his hand resting in his body.

Donnie had begun to leave the window of his room open at night for the cat to come in. He watched the cat’s breathing; how its chest raised and lowered slowly. Donnie brushed his hand over its body and the cat stretched out its legs without waking.

The cat always seemed to be around when Donnie had a bad dream. It would pop up in his bed on bad nights to soothe the fearful turtle. Donnie took a deep breath, raising the cat on his chest then falling back down.

The cat’s soft fur ran through his fingers as he pet it. He would give it small scratches on its belly when it turned over to reveal it. The world’s problems all seemed to fall away when this cat was at his side. Donnie couldn't explain why or how but this cat made him happy.

Donnie’s stomach growled and his winced at the pain it caused. He held his stomach and he sat up, sliding the cat softly onto the bed next to him. His stomach growled again and it was just as painful as the first one.

A small sound came from the cat as it woke up. It blinked its tired eyes up at the turtle as Donnie looked at it.

“Aw, I'm sorry, Kitty. You can go back to sleep if you want.” Donnie's stomach growled painfully again and he grabbed his stomach.

The cat yawned then sat up. It licked its paw and groomed the fur on its head then stood up and stretched. It perked at Donnie’s stomach growling again, looked to Donnie’s face, then hopped off the bed and stood by the door.

“No, you can't go out there. My brothers might see you.”

The cat meowed at him and pawed the door. Donnie opened his mouth to speak before clenching in pain as another growl of his stomach shot stabbing pain into him.

“It'll go away on its own. I just have to ignore it,” Donnie said. He fell forward onto his face and groaned into the blanket as more pain hit him. He wrapped his arms around his midsection tightly to try masking the pain.

The cat meowed again, this time louder.

Donnie shot up. “Shh, shhh! They're gonna hear you.”

The cat began to claw at the door, meowed again and finally Donnie got out of bed. He politely pushed the cat away from the door.

“Okay, okay, fine. Just be quiet, Kitty.”

Donnie hesitantly opened the door of his room and peaked out. The hallway was dark and the greater apartment was dead quiet. He opened the door more and stepped out with the cat following next to him. They came around a corner out of the hallway area and into the main space.

Donnie’s stomach growled painfully again and he leaned against a wall for a moment at a small, but sudden moment of dizziness. The cat continued forward, however, coming to the point in the apartment that split between the kitchen and the living room. The cat took a step towards the kitchen but jumped and spun around when a sudden quiet sound came from the living room.

Donnie peeked around the wall into the living room as he began to worry that someone was awake and would see the cat. He couldn't see anyone in the dark room and was about to turn back for the kitchen when he heard a small groan and a body move on the couch. A hand fell over the edge of the sofa and a bottle dropped to the floor from its grip.

Leo. Donnie thought. Even from this distance Donnie could see the bottle was more than half empty. It wasn't unusual for the slider, no matter how many times Raph tried to tell him not to sleep drunk on the couch. “At least go to your room if you're gonna drink!” Raph had said once, but Leo had rolled his eyes and never gave a proper response.

The cat took steps into the living room, slight panic hitting Donnie. “Kitty, wait!” he whispered.

The cat ignored him and came up to Leo’s limp arm hanging off the couch. It sniffed at his finger, smelt the light alcohol on them, licked his fingers, reeled back. Leo grumbled something in his sleep before turning over, leaving the bottle on the floor.

The cat lifted itself onto its hind legs and peeked its head over the cushion. It sniffed once more at Leo before dropping back down and returning to Donnie’s side after the softshell had said once again to come back.

“You can't let my brothers see you,” Donnie whispered as he knelt down to pet the cat. “We'll get in trouble if they do.”

He stood back up and turned into the kitchen. There was faint light from the light over the sink so Donnie refrained from turning on the main light. He opened the fridge and the chilled gust blew through him even with his sweater on. He hugged himself for warmth then took out the bag of celery from a drawer and closed the fridge.

Donnie pulled off a stalk and broke it in half. His stomach growled as he handled the food and he clenched his belly in response. He promptly took a bite from the small stalk and chewed, swallowed, and repeated it.

Donnie stood still there in the mostly dark kitchen eating his celery in silence. His arms were held tightly to his side for continued warmth. The cat brushed itself around his legs and it purred; Donnie couldn't help but smile.

The sound of the front door opening yanked Donnie’s attention and his expression faltered, returning to his usual sullen expression. Heavy footsteps beat on the carpet, they stopped in the doorway of the living room for a moment, a light huff, then continued into the kitchen.

Donnie stood still as stone as Raph came in. He held his celery tightly between his hands as he chewed as quietly as he could manage, trying his best to take up as little space as possible.

“What are you doing?” Raph asked, stopping to look at the softshell for a moment before continuing past.

Donnie swallows his small bite, turned his body in place to face his older brother while struggling to keep any form of eye contact. “I was hungry,” he said in a whisper.

“Didn't Mikey make dinner?” Raph asked.

Donnie nodded after a beat and looked away shamefully.

Raph took in a deep breath, held it a moment as if he was considering his next words, then exhaled in a deep sigh. “You didn't eat. Again.”

Donnie could feel tears already in the corners of his eyes. His hands were clasped around the small stick of celery vicely, shaking mildly. He took small nibbles of it to soothe himself.

In the barely lit kitchen Donnie saw Raph sip from one of his large cups; the ones he bought specifically for himself.

Raph rubbed his eyes and blinked as tiredness was creeping into his head. As usual, he'd been at work all day. Moving from one job to another throughout the day; never ending work for the snapper. From early morning to late night, only occasionally getting the one day off.

Donnie always felt guilty for forcing Raph to work so hard. He was such a burden to his older brothers, he knew how expensive he was. Raph was barely 18 and already working practically every hour of every day; it'd been that way since Papa died. Once they'd moved to the Hidden city those two years ago Raph had immediately started working full time to support them, Leo only getting a job a while later to help with what Raph couldn't support alone.

Donnie often found himself wishing he'd never been born so his brothers would be happy for once since Papa’s death. When he'd died, it had been Leo that found their father first. Only fifteen at the time Leo had panicked, he ran from Papa’s room sobbing loudly while babbling uncontrollably. Raph had attempted to calm him down but nothing worked, all he could get from Leo was a pointing finger in the direction he'd come from.

Then Raph had found him next. Donnie remembers seeing tears in the snapper's eyes but not anything more than that. Raph later had told Mikey and he had the same reaction as Leo; he immediately broke down, jumping from the couch to run into Papa’s room only to be held back and pulled into a hug by the snapper. Donnie remembers vividly all their reactions; he had no idea why.

Raph, while squeezing tightly around Mikey, had looked up at the smallest of the brothers to gauge his reaction. But Donnie had sat completely still, his eyes meeting Raph’s in a neutral expression.

“Donnie?” Raph had said, “Are you okay?”

A moment, then: “Papa’s… gone?”

Raph had opened his mouth to speak but Mikey whipped around first and shouted at the softshell. “He's dead! He's not ‘gone’, he’s fucking dead! And we barely had any time with him because you had to go and have him to yourself!”

Raph tired to speak, “Mikey--”

“And now he's dead and gone and you don't even care! You just sit there with your fucking glasses and-- and sweaters and say nothing! I would have thought you'd be the first to cry since you were the favorite; since you got all his time and focus, but no! Apparently that wasn't enough for you! And now he fucking dead and you were the last to see him you-- you-- you fucking parasite !”

“Mikey, enough!” Raph had said it harshly before standing up fully.

The box turtle immediately collapsed back into his arms sobbing and Raph took to comforting him. Mikey crawled into the snapper’s arms before being carried away.

As Donnie had sat there on the couch, now alone. The air of the lair had felt different. He choked then began to cry. He had curled into a ball and began to sob silently into the cushion, hugging himself as he did. But not because of Papa’s death, but because of Mikey’s words. Mikey’s words that had cut through Donnie deeper than ever. It had been the first and the last time Mikey ever yelled at him like that, but it was not the last time Mikey ever said the truth to the softshell’s face.

Donnie blinked a tear as he stared up at Raph finishing his drink. The snapper sat the cup in the sink, intending for Mikey to clean it for him. He stretched his arms and groaned tiredly and moved towards the fridge. Donnie stepped aside quickly, almost like a flinch.

Raph reached for the fridge door. He took a step and a loud cry rang in the room, causing the snapper to jump back and catch himself on the table.

“What the fuck!” Raph reached for a light switch, flicked it.

Donnie squinted as his eyes were flooded with light so suddenly. He covered his eyes with his hands as he stumbled back into a wall.

“Is that a fucking cat?!” Raph yelled.

The cat. Donnie had completely forgotten about the cat. Its presence has become so normalized to him. Adrenaline rushed his body as he looked between the animal and his brother, placing his body between them.

“Raph, wait--!”

The snapper moved Donnie’s body effortlessly. He grabbed at the cat. It ran from him, evading capture several times before finally being locked in Raph’s soft but tight grip. It meowed loudly, hissing at the snapper; it would have clawed at him if its arms were free.

Donnie pulled at Raph’s shirt. “Let it go! Let it go!” The tears from before had grown.

“Donnie, what-- you had-- you know this cat?!”

“It's my friend! You're hurting it! Stop!” Donnie reached helplessly for the cat held high in his brother's hand.

“We can't have pets in the apartment; you know this! Where did you even get it?!”

“I just found it on my way home from school—!”

“You brought a street cat inside?!” Raph was beginning to get mad. More mad than usual, the kind of mad that was usually focused at Leo. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? It could be carrying diseases or something!”

“It's my friend!” Donnie screamed. He tugged hard at Raph’s shirt. He was in the starting stages of a temper tantrum.

Raph shoved Donnie back, trying to keep distance between the cat and his brother.

“Why are we yelling?” Leo stumbled into the kitchen, still very drunk. He could barely stand without leaning on the wall.

“Leo, now is not the time!” Raph grumbled.

Leo’s eyes traced over the scene. “Is that a fucking cat?” His eyes widened. He stepped closer to the animal, reaching to touch it before Raph swiped it away.

“Leo, please! Not right now!”

“Geez, I just wanted to pet it. Wait… we can't have pets in the apartment… why is there a cat here…?”

“It's mine!”

“Donnie, shut it!” Raph glare at Leo. “Donnie brought it inside apparently. I don't know why or how long it's been here.”

Leo scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Donnie, why are you trying to get us thrown out?” He stumbled over to the whining softshell.

“I. Am. Not!” Donnie stomped his foot.

Leo laughed in response, catching himself on a wall behind him.

Donnie was fuming now. His face had gone deep red and tears were down his face. He returned to Raph’s side, pulling at the snapper’s shirt harshly while screaming.

“Leo, leave you're not helping!”

Leo groaned. “Fine, I’ll help.” He came around behind his younger brother, prying Donnie from the snapper. Donnie’s screaming became louder and Leo cringed. “Can you please stop yelling?!” The slider slapped his hand over Donnie’s mouth tightly, silencing him.

Donnie tensed up, a shuttered running down his back. He struggled in his brother's hold, then opened his mouth as wide as he could and let his teeth sink into the green hand covering his mouth.

Leo yelped and drew back. In a swift motion he shoved his brother to the floor, Donnie falling hard. As Donnie recuperated himself and sat on his knees; a high whine growing from his throat.

“Ack--! Leo!” Raph shouted. “Ow!” The cat scratched him but he retained his grip.

“He bit me!” Leo’s speaking was sharper, the adrenaline of the bit shocking him awake, but his words still slurred together. “He fucking bit me!”

Donnie sat on the floor crying. He peered up at his brothers as they yelled. Raph held the angry cat high above while with his other hand emoted to Leo.

Distracted by their own argument, Raph lost his balance and fell against the kitchen counter, catching himself but losing some grip on the cat, its paws peeking through his fingers and slashing at the air. Raph looked down at Donnie who'd jumped onto him, now clutching and pulling at the collar of his shirt.

Raph snaked a hand between their bodies and pried the softshell off. Donnie’s body made a thud as he hit the floor again, making his cries louder.

“What is wrong with him?” Leo shouted.

“He's probably-- Ah! Shit!” Raph dropped the cat on the floor and held his hand as claw cuts bled. “Fuck!” He spun around to the sink to rinse his wound.

The cat landed on its feet and lept across the room to Donnie, hiding behind the softshell.

Donnie pulled the cat into its lap and hugged it tightly. He glared at his brothers with tear-filled eyes.

“No, you can't have that,” Leo slurred. He stumbled forward, his arms swaying numb-like as he went to rip the cat from his brother.

Donnie flinched away, screaming in Leo’s face incoherent noises.

“Shut up!” Leo’s hand went over Donnie’s mouth again, a muffled scream behind it. Leo tightened his grip on the softshell’s face, holding his head still. With his other hand he pried his arm between Donnie’s, tugging at the cat between them.

Donnie struggled in his brother's grip. He shook his head roughly to break free. His tears cupped against Leo’s fingers as the two all but wrestled on the floor.

“Give… the… cat!” Leo groaned, clearly becoming more frustrated as it went on. His drunken body struggled to keep itself upright. He would stumbled every few seconds and his eyes would half close for moments before forcing himself awake.

Donnie whined behind his hand. He pulled his legs up to his chest then thrusted them out and kicked his brother off him.

Leo fell back on the floor, groaned in pain, then pulled himself up with the table as support. “I'm gonna hurt you!” Whether he said it exaggerating or not, the words terrified Donnie as Leo’s drunken self waddled towards him.

Raph grabbed Leo by the shell and threw him back from Donnie. “Enough, Leo!”

“He's the one with the cat! How am I the bad guy!?”

“Because you're drunk and only making shit worse!”

“Fuck you!” Leo went to swing at Raph but missed by a wide margin. His body tumbled back into the table before he steadied himself. He stood glaring at Raph as his body swayed.

“What the hell is going on?!” Mikey stood in the kitchen doorway, dark bags under his eyes and an expression that showed he was the most pissed off right now. “Do you guys have any idea what time it is?” He ran a hand over his eyes, rubbing them, he yawned, he glared at the three brothers.

Mikey landed on the cat, blinked sleep from his eyes. “What the fuck is that?” he asked matter-of-factly, his eyes turning to Raph.

“It's a fucking cat that Donnie brought in at some point,” Raph replied.

“We can't keep it!” Leo shouted, still swaying.

Mikey turned his face to the slider, looked him up and down. “Are you drunk right now?”

“I drank… something…” Leo blinked slowly. “Just a little.”

Mikey sighed. “Unbelievable.” He shook his head and ran his hand down his face. Then, after another yawn, he turned back to Raph and asked, “And was this worth waking me up in the middle of the night for?”

“Sorry, I wasn't trying to. But shit got out of hand.”

Mikey took in a deep breath then let it out in a long exhale. “Whatever. Can we just please get rid of the cat so we can all go to bed?”

Donnie tightened his arms around the cat. “No!”

Mikey pinched the bridge of his beak. “I really don't have the patience for this right now, Donnie. Give me the cat or I'm gonna take it from you.”

Donnie turned his body further away.

Mikey clenched a fist in frustration. “Oh, why was it dad instead of you…?” He mumbled under his breath.

The box turtle pulled Donnie backwards. He pulled at one of the softshell's arms and pried it off the cat and quickly snatched the cat from his brother's grip.

“No! Give it back! Give it back!” Donnie squealed. He leapt to his feet and immediately reached for the cat as Mikey held it away.

“Oh, my god.” Mikey rolled his eyes. “Raph, help me!”

Raph huffed then pulled Donnie away. He tucked Donnie into his arm as the softshell squirmed, and wriggled, and fought, and screamed, and cried.

Mikey grabbed a towel from the counter and swaddled the cat so it would stop clawing. Then he faced his brothers again with an angry, tired expression. His eyes fell to Donnie, whose face was drowned in tears.

“Can you take him to his room?” Mikey said to Raph. “I'm-- I’m sick of hearing him right now.”

Raph rolled his eyes and stepped past his brother with Donnie still in his arms flailing and kicking.

Mikey turned then to Leo who still held himself by the countertop. “I don't even want to deal with your shit right now.” He turned away and left the kitchen as well.

Raph opened the door to Donnie’s room. He stopped at the small bed, pulled back the blanket and pushed Donnie onto the mattress.

The softshell immediately pushed back when he felt the snapper’s hold lessen. He jumped to get past him but was stopped and pulled back onto his bed.

“Donnie!” Raph’s voice rang in a terrifying tone that made Donnie freeze.

Donnie’s lips quivered as he stared at his older brother. There was fear in his tiny eyes that Raph either never saw or ignored. His entire body shook as he tried to keep still.

“Calm down,” Raph said. “This is ridiculous. This, all this, for a cat. For a stray cat that you shouldn't even have.”

“I-it's my f-fr-friend…” Donnie all but choked on his words.

“I don't care.” Raph’s words stung, yet were not alien at all. “We cannot have a cat here. We cannot have any animals in here. Do you wanna be homeless, Donnie? Do you wanna get us kicked out?”

Donnie swallowed sharply. He imagined being homeless, living on the streets with his brothers with nothing to their names. Their lives weren't the best now, his life would be worse if that. He shook his head with his lips pulled tight.

“Then we can't have that cat. You understand?”

A beat of silent staring. Donnie nodded.

“Okay. Then enough of this, okay? It's done. It's over.” Raph stood fully. He stared down at Donnie, looked away, sighed, held his eyes closed as he spoke: “And here I thought you were getting better. That you were finally changing and growing up these past few days.” He shook his head disappointedly. “I'll never understand Dad.”

Raph turned on his heels for the door. He stopped just in the doorway, looked back at his shaking crying brother. “You're grounded. For a month.”

Donnie choked back a sob, fighting everything in his little body not to break down in front of his brother. His knuckles turned white from the tightness of his fists clutching the bottom hem of his sweatshirt. His knees pressed together, his arms at his sides, his body shrinking itself as much as it could.

Raph stared at him for a moment longer; was it with pity? Sadness? Disappointment? Donnie couldn't read his expression through his tears but came to an assumption nonetheless.

Raph shut the door behind him as he left, leaving Donnie alone in the dark. The softshell sat there unmoving on his bed, his only companions his tears and his choked sobs. In the distance he could heal faint, unintelligible conversation between his brothers; a soft meow mixed in.

Lights outside his room flicked off and the apartment returned to silence.

Donnie’s body felt hot, iron hot. His blood felt like lava in his veins. His head throbbed with a static so loud it was like the ocean was at his feet. His body shook hard as the buzzing static coursed through him entirely. Energy pounding at every inch of his frail form.

What was he to do? Sleep of course. But he knew what evils that’d bring to him now; nightmares always followed tantrums. But it was deserved, it's his own fault. He knew the rules about animals and pets. He's lived in this apartment just as long as his brothers. He should have known better, acted better, been better.

But he never was.

If only Papa was here.

The sleeves of his sweater were rolled up, exposing scabbed over scars; fresh and old alike. His teeth scraped over them, digging into them. Iron flowed onto his tongue and his small body shuttered. Small. Body so, so small; his teeth covered his arm entirely.

“Good boy, my Donatello~”

A crimson lipped smile came over Donnie’s face as the memory of the words, as he was coaxed onward. A punishment fit from his father. Grey fur encased around him, and long whiskers tickled at his skin. His free hand dipped between his legs as he bit.

Chapter Text

Mr. Calimar strode down the school hallway with a confident stride. His tentacle arms rested politely behind his back as he smiled at passing students and faculty. He turned a corner and entered the gymnasium and spotted the small student he'd come for.

Donnie struggled on the mat to perform a sit up as another student had to hold his legs to the floor. They rolled their eyes in annoyance as they waited for the turtle to finish a single exercise.

Calimar crossed the room to the swan coach. “Mrs. Trefari.”

The swan turned to Calimar and smiled. “Ah, Tryphton! How are you?”

Calimar spoke in a calm voice: “I am doing well. But might I trouble you with something?”

“No trouble at all. What do you need?”

“I just wondered if I might pull Donatello out of your class for some time. I need to help him with his work in my class.”

Trefari clicked her tongue then chuckled. “That boy is something.” She turned to the room and shouted: “Hamato! Come here!”

Donnie jumped as his name was shouted. He looked in its direction and locked eyes with his math teacher. A shudder traveled up his body as he walked over to the two adults.

“Calimar here needs you for something,” Mrs. Trefari said.

Calimar grinned down at the softshell in a way that appeared inconspicuous to everyone else around. “I wanted to help you work on that assignment from earlier, Donatello. The one from class today, remember?”

Donnie gazed up at the cephalopod through his thick-rimmed glasses and nodded.

Calimar hummed. “Excellent. Shall we?” He placed his tentacle arm on the turtle's shoulder before leading them out of the gym.

Donnie looked ahead as they walked down the hall. He had to work a little harder to keep up with his teacher’s pace, the speed of it making him groan in pain.

Calimar’s arm slithered around Donnie’s arm to grip it. Donnie tried to ignore it for the time being as he focused on his path ahead to the teacher’s room until a sudden and hard tug from the cephalopod lifted Donnie’s feet off the floor as he was yanked down a turn in the hallway. He yelped in both surprise and pain, looked up at Calimar for explanation but was returned with silence.

Donnie turned ahead to see where they were heading now; the locker room.

Calimar opened the door, a gust of cool air exiting the room. He peaked his head inside, called out and got no answer. He pulled Donnie inside, shoving him ahead of himself making the small turtle stumble.

“Strip and go to the shower,” Calimar ordered as the door closed behind him.

Donnie spun around to meet the teacher’s face, now wearing a stone-faced expression. He swallowed nervously, looked to the showers. Donnie hugged himself as he moved towards them.

“No.” Calimar’s voice stopped Donnie in his tracks. “I said strip then go to the shower.

Donnie looked back at his teacher with a quivering lip. Was Calimar serious? He wanted Donnie to walk naked to the showers? He watched his teacher for further clues if any.

“Strip!” Calimar raised his voice, enough for it to echo softly and make Donnie jump.

Slowly Donnie pulled his sweater over his head and dropped it onto the floor. His small fingers danced nervously at the hem of his shorts. He could feel Calimar’s eyes burning into his skin. Donnie shut his eyes to keep back growing tears, then tugged his shorts down to his feet before stepping out of them.

“These too.” Calimar ripped the turtle’s mask and headphones off his head and tossed them to the floor. Donnie caught his glasses before they fell off his face. “Now go to the shower.”

Donnie wrapped his arms around himself in a pitiful effort to cover his nakedness. Slowly he walked towards the showers. He could feel Calimar remaining where he stood as he ogled the small mutant’s small body. Donnie shivered when he heard Calimar moan softly.

Once he reached a shower he stopped at the curtain and waited for further commands. He shivered in the cold air of the room, his blood felt like ice inside him. His teeth chattered together; he pushed his glasses back into his face as his shivering moved them down.

Calimar’s footsteps moved until the older yokai was right behind him. His large body pressed right into Donnie’s smaller one. Donnie could feel his erection through his pants on the back of his skull.

The cephalopod pulled back the curtain, pushed Donnie into the shower, stepped in himself and shut the curtain back behind him. He ordered the turtle into the main shower space.

Donnie stood there facing away from his teacher as he trembled. The cold air made his anxiety worse, his nude body exposed completely. In the past he's at least always been wearing his mask when he and Calimar snuck away.

“Do you wish to know why I brought you here, Donatello?”

Donnie turned slowly but kept his head down. “Y-yes, sir…”

“Do you remember what you did in my class today?”

Donnie tensed up, of course he remembered. He'd had an accident right in the middle of class. Sitting there at his desk, he had felt that familiar liquid warmth seep from underneath him, forming a puddle in his chair and on the floor. Of course he remembered it, the other students’ laughs had been so loud, his brother’s anger so hot as he was forced to bring him a change of clothes from home. Of course Donnie remembered it.

“Yes, sir.”

“I was really upset by that. Very disappointed in you for doing that in my class.”

“I-I'm sorry…”

“You may say that, but I'm not sure if I can believe you.”

“I-I am sorry! Please, please believe me! I swear I'm sorry!” Tears stung Donnie’s eyes.

“Alright, I will believe you. After you learn your lesson; once you learn how it feels.”

“How… how what feels?”

Calimar opened the front of his pants and took out his half hard cock; it writhed in the cool air in front of Donnie’s face. “How it feels to have someone make a mess like that in your presence.”

Calimar took a step closer and Donnie could smell his dick. With terrified eyes Donnie stared at the large cock in his face as small droplets leaked from the tip.

“I drank a lot of coffee, Donatello. And I haven't had a chance to use the bathroom yet.”

The droplets became more frequent until a steady stream of urine began to pour from Calimar’s cock. The smell of it was pungent, causing Donnie to scrunch his face and cover his nose as it came.

The stream became heavier and stronger. It hit Donnie’s chest and the turtle jumped back in panic.

Calimar glared at the young student, gripped him by his small arm, holding it in the air and tugging him back close to him and his piss began to run down Donnie’s plastron and down his legs.

Donnie whined as the warm liquid ran down his body. The smell of it quickly filled the small shower space making the experience worse.

Calimar took his cock in his other hand and wagged it, sending urine onto Donnie’s face. The small turtle gagged as he tried to turn away. He shut his eyes tightly and cried for it to stop.

It was disgusting. The smell of it alone was abhorrent, but to have it running over his body was an agonizing sensory experience. It puddled on the tiled floor so even the bottoms of his feet were coated.

“Enjoying this, Donatello?” Calimar asked.

Donnie shook his head, eyes shut tight as yellow droplets decorated his face. His tears mixed with the urine but couldn't wash it away.

“Use your words.”

“No, I--” Donnie opened his mouth to speak but with a flick of his cock Mr. Calimar had sent a stream of his piss directly onto Donnie’s tongue. The turtle yelped at the taste and fought the cephalopod’s hold on him.

A deep chuckle left the teacher as he continued to coat the crying student. “My wife never let me do this. She always found it to be gross whenever I mentioned it. But thankfully, I have you, My Donatello.”

Calimar’s words stung in their uncaring tone. Donnie’s crying became heavier as the stream of piss went on. The cold air of the locker room he'd felt before was a distant memory. His body was now hot, boiling as hot urine sprayed his little body.

Calimar’s tentacle tightened around Donnie’s frail wrist as the teacher held it in the air, nearly lifting the turtle off the floor. His face wore a calm yet amused expression as he watched the young turtle.

The warm pee from Calimar soon triggered Donnie’s own bladder. He felt a pressure between his legs and soon he too was peeing. Donnie buckled his knees together as it rickled down his legs and mixed with his teacher’s on the shower floor.

Calimar laughed. “Could not hold it in again, Donatello? Tsk, tsk. What am I going to do with you?” He flicked his cock again, now half hard, and hit Donnie once more in the face with urine.

Just as Calimar opened his mouth to speak again the door to the locker room opened. A wave of panic struck the teacher as he became hyper aware of Donnie’s crying. In a moment of panic and sadistic hought, he sheathed his entire cock down the poor turtle's throat.

Donnie’s cries were muffled as he gagged on the cock that had begun to poor piss down his throat. His teacher’s grip on the back of his head left the yellow liquid with nowhere else to go but into his stomach. He wriggle in Calimar’s hold as the bitter and pungent taste forced its way into every crevice of his mouth; it coated his taste buds and filled his cheeks, washing over his teeth.

Calimar held his breath.

“Oh-- Hello?” called out the new arrival.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yes-- hello!” Calimar replied.

“Oh? Mr. Calimar, Is that you? I didn't realize someone was in here. I didn't hear the shower running.”

“Ah, yes, well… I had just finished actually and was about to change.”

“That's fine. I'm just grabbing something from a locker real quick, don't mind me.”

“No worry at all,” Calimar replied. He grunted softly as he struggled to keep Donnie still on his cock. “Keep still!” he whispered harshly.

“What was that?” asked the mystery student.

“O-oh nothing! Just… uh… upset at having to clean up during school hours.” He gave a nervous chuckle. “We had an accident in the teachers’ lounge and I ended up receiving the worst of the mess.”

“I see. Alright, well, I’ll be out of your tentacles in a minute.”

The sound of a locker opening then closing. Footsteps receded back to the door, it opened, then closed. The cephalopod and the turtle were once again the only two in the room.

Calimar let out an exhale of relief. This caused a further stream of urine to flush down Donnie’s throat. He gazed down at the turtle, Donnie’s expression one of blank distraught as waterfalls of tears poured from his eyes. Calimar smiled, bucked his hips into Donnie for a moment before releasing him.

Donnie gasped, choked, gagged, coughed; all manner sounds left the turtle’s mouth as he took in deep breaths of air and spat up urine mixed saliva. When enough air has filled his lungs he returned to heavy crying, using his free hand to rub his sobbing eyes.

“Oh, my Donatello…” Calimar spoke in almost a caring voice. “You almost got us caught.”

Donnie coughed from the remaining taste of piss on his tongue. He looked up at his teacher with watery eyes and sniffled.

“You are always doing that; seducing me during school hours, looking at me like that during class, begging for me to touch you. Just trying to get me in trouble.” Calimar released his hold on Donnie’s arm, pet his cheek, then pushed his small body back against the shower wall. “But you do not really want me to get in trouble, do you?”

Donnie shook his head silently. He knew having sex during school was wrong; other students have been caught before doing it and got in trouble.

Calimar hummed. “You would miss me, would you not? Miss our time together?”

Donnie swallowed hard. The cold air of the locker room slowly trickled back into the shower, the urine on his skin cooled making him shiver. With quivering lips he nodded his head just briefly.

Calimar’s tentacle wrapped around Donnie’s chin, pulling him tight. “Mmm, good boy. I admit I would miss you as well.” He hummed softly. “Donatello…” he mused, “ My Donatello. All mine.”

Calimar leaned down so the two were at eye level. “I should also admit, I had heard from other teachers about your accidents in their classes. So I always hoped I would be lucky enough to have you have one in mine. You can imagine my excitement after class had ended when I had the chance to taste you on your desk chair.”

The cephalopod drug his tongue along Donnie’s cheek. “You taste ever better with me on you.” He slid his teeth down to his neck, biting into the green skin. It made the young turtle shiver and let out a small whine. Donnie pressed back against the shower wall in a failed attempt at escape.

“Everything about you I love. You are so perfect, Donatello. So small, so fragile, so innocent. Nothing like my wife.” He came close to Donnie’s ear and whispered: “If only I had met your father while he was still here. The way you call his name, I can only imagine what he did to you.” There was a tinge of joy in Calimar’s words. The very thought of Donnie’s father abusing him brought pleasure to him.

Donnie’s world was spinning violently around him. His legs felt like jelly as they fought to keep him standing. Calimar towered over him as the teacher stroked himself against Donnie’s face before reaching completion, painting Donnie with more than just urine.

“But as much as I enjoyed it, I cannot have you doing that in my class, it's a distraction. I hope this was a good lesson for you to not make a mess in my classroom again.” Calimar cleaned his member against Donnie’s lips before he tucked himself back into his pants. “Clean yourself up. You have other classes to get to.” He turned and opened the curtain. “See you tomorrow.” He crossed the room quickly and left just as fast.

The locker room door shut quietly as Donnie watched. He collapsed to the floor in a puddle of mixed fluids. Sticky heat covered his face and body, a white smear was on one lense of his glasses.

His eyes, still sore—as sore as his throat still was—filled with tears again. He shook there as he curled into himself: legs to his chest, arms wrapped around. He could smell Calimar on him, he could smell his own urine underneath. The room around him shifted and grew unnaturally big and gravity felt impossible to fight.

Donnie’s chest heaved. He felt sick, he felt tired, he felt in pain. The taste in his mouth was enough to make him vomit; another fluid to join him on the floor.

He shivered in the cold. Where were his clothes? He tried to remember. Looking up he saw the pile of purple items by the door. Far, far across that linoleum desert.

Chapter Text

Ms. Lily circled with a big marker around a question on a test. A big red ‘X’ indicating a wrong answer. She sighed, looked up from her desk as the students of her class finished their work. She glanced at the clock on the wall, realized it was only a few minutes until the end.

“Everyone, please begin to wrap up your work. Class will be ending soon.”

Soft chatter filled the room as students finished their work and gathered their things.

Ms. Lily gazed over the various yokai, stopping on the young turtle sat in the middle; Donnie.

The young turtle sat silently, staring blankly into his desk. The sheet of paper in front of him was filled with writing; he did always finish his work fast.

Ms. Lily watched him for several minutes, noting how he remained motionless until the bell rang. As if a doll suddenly coming to life, Donnie sat up and dropped from his chair, slung his backpack onto his shoulders and hobbled towards the door.

“Donnie…” Ms. Lily called, stopping the turtle. “How are you feeling today?” She flashed him a warm smile.

The turtle stared blankly at her for much longer than one would expect. It was as if he was choosing every word individual, building his response in his mind meticulously. Then he replied: “I'm okay.” It was flat, cold. It almost gave the impression of annoyance.

Ms. Lily chuckled awkwardly but kept her smile bright. “That's lovely. I saw that you finished your work early again today. That's very nice.”

Donnie nodded.

Lily often found it difficult to communicate with Donnie. The student gave the impression of a wall more often than not. What few answers she got from him gave little to further a conversation, but she tired nonetheless.

“Well, I hope you have a good day.”

Donnie blinked. He nodded, then turned and left the room.

Ms. Lily leaned back in her chair and sighed. “That boy… I do not understand him.” She leaned back over her work, gripping her marker on hand. She made some more marks to the worksheet then swapped to a new one. She glanced at the names on it: “Paul”, another student she didn't understand but for different reasons.

Quiet snickers caught her attention. She pulled her eyes up from her desk to the back of the classroom. Speak of the devil .

Paul, along with a few other students, stood huddled in a small circle. In the insect yokai’s hands was a small plushie of a sheep. He squeezed it in his grip. “Racket-boy had this thing in his bag.” He laughed. “It's cute isn't it? I bet he’s gonna cry when he realizes it's gone.”

Ms. Lily rolled her eyes as she stood up and marched across the room. “Give it,” she ordered, hand outstretched.

Paul met her eyes, chortled. “What? I didn't do anything.”

“I don't want to hear it. Hand it to me now.”

Paul groaned in an exaggerated manner before dropping the toy into the wolf’s hand.

“Thank you. Now get out of my classroom.” She pointed to the door and glared at them.

“Whatever.” Paul moved passed the teacher, followed by his group of friends.

Ms. Lily watched them as they left then looked down at the stuffed sheep once they were gone. She sighed once more, exhausted and tired of that unruly kid. She looked up at the clock on the wall. “Alright I have time.”

Lily turned on her heels and left her classroom, sheep gripped in hand. She turned down several hallways, greeting some fellow faculty as she walked. Finally she entered the cafeteria; the roar of students’ chatter echoed to her ears. Ms. Lily lifted her head to search the room, scanning over every table for a spot of purple and green. None.

Where was he? Confusion crossed her mind. Sure he was small, but he wasn't invisible. In some instances he stood out in a crowd. Ms. Lily took another glance over the crowd of students and found Paul sitting at a table in the far back corner of the room. With a groan she crossed the room to him.

Paul and his friends were laughing about something when Ms. Lily interjected: “Paul, do you know where Donnie is?” She almost laughed at herself for asking him.

Paul turned to her, snorted, then replied: “Why?”

“Paul, do you know where he is or not?”

The insect shared a look with his friends before the whole group started to laugh.

Ms. Lily rolled her eyes. “And what, might I ask, is so funny?”

In a mocking voice, “ Racket-boy’s probably in Mr. Calimar’s class,” Paul joked. The group of adolescent yokai erupted into laughter.

Ms. Lily spun around. “I don't know why I even ask you.” She sped away, listening to their laughter melt into the rest of the cafeteria’s noise. She headed back for her own classroom but stopped at a turn. She glanced down a completely empty hallway at Mr. Calimar’s door. It can't hurt to check.

She headed for the door, grabbed the handle but found it locked. Puzzled, she turned it again. Calimar must be out . Clearly Donnie wasn't here. She turned heel and took two steps from the door before her ears twitched and she froze in place.

Ms. Lily stood there silently, her ears twisting like satellite dishes. She heard it again; a faint crying. She turned as she listened, homing in on this sound's origin until she was facing Calimar’s door again.

The crying was coming from inside.

Confusion mixed with dread. Who was crying? Why were they crying? Why was the door locked? Scenarios of what was inside ran through her mind faster than she could focus on them, but none were anything close to what she would see behind that door.

Ms. Lily jiggled the doorknob again. “Hello? Is someone in there?”

There was no answer, the crying just continued. It was joined with heavy grunts and the sound of furniture scrapping on the floor.

Lily moved the doorknob harder. “Hello?! Hey, what's happening? Is everything okay?”

No answer but for just continued crying.

Ms. Lily hadn't noticed how hard she was gripping the doorknob until it twisted from the door, its internal mechanism naked for her to see. She stared for a moment at it, awestruck by her action. Then those cries broke her stare and she was locked again on the room.

The doorknob was gone. The door is still firmly locked. Someone was in there, someone was crying. The fur on the back of Ms. Lily’s neck stood on end as he barreled toward the wooden door and landed on it with her full weight.

It happened faster than she could think about it, her instincts taking over. She jumped back, ran into the door again, jumped back, into the door again. Her mind had become singularly focused: get into that room.

Had the crying stopped? The sound of the room was quiet now. Ms. Lily hadn't noticed, the crying continued in her head like fuel to a furnace.

“Huh? Ms. Lily what are you--” A voice behind her. She ignored them. Were those other people behind her now? How many people were watching her? Another voice began to speak but just as they said their first words the door swung open, wood splintering.

Ms. Lily stood in the doorway–stuffed lamb still in hand–the light of the hall illuminating the dim room. She breathed heavily as her eyes scanned frantically over the classroom. She seemed to almost skip the two figures inside as if her mind had already made up what she was going to find.

Then her eyes fell to Calimar. She took in the sight of him; his pants at his ankles, his face an expression of abject horror. Lily’s eyes crossed to the desk in front of the cephalopod; lying on his back, nude and eyes full of tears was Donnie. His small legs spread impossibly wide around Calimar’s waist.

Ms. Lily stood frozen as she took in the scene before her. Every situation her mind has come up with, none of them were like this. Her brain was playing catch-up to this surreal moment, trying to decide what to do next in this impossible scenario.

Calimar opened his mouth to speak, barely even a single syllable escaped his lips before Ms. Lily had him on the floor.

Donnie left Ms. Lily’s class in a hurry. Lunch had just begun and that gave him only so much time to get to Mr. Calimar’s class. He passed by the cafeteria entrance, saw the other students heading inside for lunch. His stomach growled but he ignored it, he was used to not eating.

He continued passed the cafeteria to his teacher’s classroom. He opened the door and entered as he was so used to doing. As he faced his teacher he stopped dead in his tracks as he met the gaze of a second figure; a tall, although shorter than Calimar, yokai was speaking to the cephalopod when they both looked Donnie’s way.

Calimar smiled at the turtle before facing the other figure. “Donnie here wanted some extra help on his class work so I told him he could come by during lunch if he wanted.”

“Ah, I see,” the other yokai said. “Well then I'd better leave you to it. It was lovely chatting with you Tryphton.” The yokai crossed the room, passing Donnie as he left.

As the door clicked shut Donnie let out a breath of relief, the fear of that teacher joining them leaving him body.

“You came a little quick. Miss me?” Calimar teased.

Donnie gave no answer. He swallowed as he stared up at the cephalopod through his glasses, the light reflecting off them slightly.

Calimar crossed the room, locked the door with his key. He turned then to Donnie and cupped his small, green chin. “Just like a puppy to come running when told.” He stood back up and turned away. “Get up here.” He motioned to his desk.

Donnie scrambled to the desk, dropping his backpack on the floor. Using the teacher's chair he climbed atop the desk so his legs dangled over the edge. He watched and waited patiently for his teacher's next words.

Calimar loosened his tie and dropped it to the floor. He came up to the desk’s edge, positioning himself between the small green legs. He leaned down to cup Donnie’s face as he suckled on the turtle’s emerald neck. A second tentacle reached under Donnie’s hoodie, groping at his thin plastron.

“You never stop tasting good,” Calimar moaned. He straightened back up, took Donnie’s hoodie and pulled it over his head before tossing it away. He looked down at the exposed genitals of the small turtle; he had told Donnie to not wear anything underneath today. “You did what I asked.”

Donnie squirmed. “Yes, Mr. Calimar…”

“Good boy.” Calimar undid his belt and let his pants fall to his feet. His cock, a familiar sight, throbbed against Donnie’s knee. “Shall we?”

Donnie leaned back on the desk, holding himself for support. He felt the tip press against his entrance, the pain was an old friend. It shot through him like a bolt of lightning, his hips meeting Calimar’s.

The old yokai moaned in pleasure as he began to rock himself back and forth slowly. He stared down at Donnie, eyes transfixed in the turtle’s face.

Donnie winced in pain as he was fucked into. Small tears leaked from the corners of his eyes in response.

“I will never understand how you feel better than my wife. Everytime I fuck her I just think of you instead.” Calimar’s thrusts became faster. “It is hard keeping her from knowing, Donatello. You are my secret lover after all.”

Donnie let out sniffles as he bounced on the desk. He could feel Calimar’s member moving inside him. How it pummeled against his insides, stabbing him from within. Pressure built from inside him, his gut twisted to keep it from bursting.

Donnie let out a panicked whine. He sat up, hyperventilating as he tried to stop it. “W-wait! Mr. Calimar I--”

“Shut it.”

“But–but I--”

“I said—”

Wetness struck them both. The stench of urine filled the room quickly. Donnie looked down and watched in terror as a puddle of piss appeared below them. It leaked around Calimar’s cock, warming the already hot cock.

The cephalopod glared at Donnie, his grip on the turtle’s legs tightening. “What did I tell you?” He gave a sharp thrust.

Donnie squealed. “I-- I'm sorry--!”

Another thrust. “What did I tell you?” The teacher’s words weren't loud by volume but they were loud with anger. They moved like knives into Donnie.

“I-- I don't-- Ahh!” Donnie writhed below Calimar as he got rougher, his hands pushing against his teacher. He kicked his legs but that did nothing to save him.

“I told you to never. Piss. In. My class. Again.” Calimar punctuated his sentence with a deep thrust, sheathing his entire cock inside Donnie.

The small turtle arched his back as he gasped from the air knocked out of him. He choked to breathe again as his teacher pummeled into him. Tentacles grabbed him by the shoulders and held him to the desk.

Donnie held Calimar by the arms and he cried. It hurt, it was agony. His hips burned as his teacher smashed into him. Urine splashed as it poured from Donnie and their waists collided. Donnie sobbed loudly but said no word, made no begs or pleas; he made a mistake, he didn't listen, he did exactly what Calimar had told him not to do. It was only fair that his teacher disciplined him.

Calimar grunted in his ear and neither heard the doorknob move. Neither heard it the second time. Then a heavy thud hit the door and Calimar froze. He shot a tentacle over Donnie’s mouth as he watched the door.

Another thud. Who was out there?

Donnie glanced at the door as well now that he too could hear it. He cried softly into Calimar’s tentacle; at least his teacher had gone still.

Another thud. Another then another. Calimar opened his mouth to call out but the door swung open to his shock.

Everything froze.

Time stood still for an eternity as eyes traveled the room.

Ms. Lily stood in the doorway, her expressions hidden by shadows.

Donnie caught her in his eyes, traced over her and saw Botticellamby in her grip. His eyes widened and he tried to speak behind Calimar’s grip.

Calimar swallowed harshly. Before he could speak he was on the floor.

Donnie scrambled up, everything became a blur. His math teacher was on the floor, his chemistry teacher over him. Animalistic growls escaped the woman’s throat as she barred her teeth at Calimar.

Ms. Lily swung her foot, catching it on Calimar’s stomach. He groaned in pain and tried to defend himself. Another kick followed by a slashing of claws.

Calimar wailed as Lily dug into his flesh. “Lily, wait-- Orchid-- Ahghh!!”

Ms. Lily couldn't hear Calimar, or if she could she wasn't listening. She continued attacking him without hesitation. Her foot met his head knocking it against the floor, his purple blood oozing from his wounds.

Donnie dropped from the desk and ran to her, grabbing and pulling her arm. “Stop it! Stop it! You're hurting him.” He could hardly see through the tears in his eyes. He tugged at her sleeve but she pushed him away before continuing to attack the cephalopod, blood splattering the turtle’s face

Ms. Lily brought Mr. Calimar up before throwing him across the room. He landed into several desks before hitting the floor.

Calimar groaned, coughed blood. He got to his hands and feet and attempted to crawl away, his pants still at his ankles.

Ms. Lily kicked him hard in the gut until he collapsed back onto the floor. Calimar held his arms over his head as he screamed in pain; Ms. Lily's attacks never wavered.

Donnie stood to his feet and watched in despair at Mr. Calimar’s torture. Why would Ms. Lily do this? Why would she hurt him? He didn't do anything wrong, why is she being so mean suddenly?

Voices caught Donnie's attention. He turned to the open doorway as multiple faces peered inside; teachers and students alike. The screams of Calimar, the yelling of Ms. Lily, it had all drawn a crowd to this small classroom.

Donnie became aware of his own state. Hyper aware of his own nudity. He covered himself with his hands before falling to the floor. He pushed himself back into a corner as he began to sob harder, louder; his cries mixing with those of Calimar’s.

The room was spinning, growing, warping. His body burned, his mind turned fuzzy. All sound became both silent and painfully loud at the same time. Down, down, down, down he was shrinking. He was too small for anything to work. The air didn't fit in his lungs, his emotions didn't fit in his head, his tears were drowning him.

Donnie's throat went sore from screaming. He begged and pleaded for Ms. Lily to stop, for everyone to go away. At least he thought he was, he couldn't hear anything, the sounds were too big for his ears.

Ms. Lily landed another hit onto Calimar’s bloody body; at least Donnie’s eyes were big enough to watch but too frozen to look away and too small and weak to stop it.

Mikey leaned against a street post by the bus stop waiting. Next to him was Leo who was tapping his foot impatiently.

Leo crossed his arms and huffed. “This is so dumb.”

Mikey snickered. “You think I don't know that?”

“I'm just saying, like, why do all of us need to be there?”

“That's what the school said on the phone, Leo,” Mikey replied. “I don't fucking know.”

Leo rolled his eyes, stopping them on Raph a few feet away talking on the phone. A look of stress and worry painted his face as he clearly got chewed out by one of his bosses.

“Yes, yes, I know but— But my brother he— It's just—” Raph was barely able to get a word in.

Leo continued: “Not to mention forcing him to leave work early.”

Mikey looked up from his phone, followed Leo’s eyes to Raph, looked back at Leo. “Which boss do you think it is?”

Leo thought for a moment as he watched his older brother. “Jackal probably.” He faced his younger brother.

“I think it's Leslie,” Mikey replied.

“You wanna bet on that?” A cheeky grin went over Leo’s face.

“Twenty bucks it's Leslie,” Mikey said, matching Leo’s grin.

“I'll make it twenty-five for Jackal.”

Mikey laughed. “You're on.”

The bus finally arrived and the three climbed aboard with the other passengers. Leo took a seat by a window with Mikey sitting next to him. Raph, still on the phone, followed behind his brothers. He squeezed passed seats before setting himself down behind Mikey and Leo.

“What exactly did they say on the phone?” Leo asked the box turtle.

Mikey looked up from his phone. “It was the school secretary, and she said there was some incident with Donnie at school today and that we all needed to come as soon as we could.”

“Did you really mean all of us?”

“She kind of stressed that point.” Mikey rolled his eyes, leaned down in the seat and went back to his phone. “I really don't care. I'm just mad I had to stop making dinner.”

“What were you making?” Leo asked.

“A honey-glazed lamb, with asparagus and carrots,” Mikey replied.

“Damn. That does sound good.” Leo leaned against the window and watched the building go by. His breath fogged the glass. He caught the end of Raph’s phone call.

“I can work double shifts for the next month to make up for it. I swear. Please, I won't do this again, I promise.” Raph listened to the voice from his phone before they hung up, he put his phone away. He sighed and leaned his chin on his brothers’ seat. “I'm so fired.”

“What?” Leo spun around. “Are you serious?”

“Which boss was it?” Mikey asked.

“Leslie,” Raph replied.

“Called it!” Mikey gloated. He stared at Leo with a shit eating grin.

Leo rolled his eyes, pulling twenty-five dollars from his pocket and putting it in his brother's hand. “Whatever.”

Mikey stuck his tongue out playfully. “And it being Leslie, you're definitely fired.”

“Michael!” Leo slapped Mikey on the back of his head. “Don't say shit like that.”

“I'm just kidding!” He turned to Raph. “Look, I'm sure you'll be fine. You're a model employee, you never take off work, and you work hard. She's probably just angry right now.”

Raph leaned his face on the seat, the stress of the work day getting to him. “God, I hope so. I hate job searching. Ugh, Raph wishes he didn't have to work so many jobs.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Leo mumbled. “I wish we could have just stayed in the sewers.”

Raph squinted at Leo before letting out a deep breath. “Anyway. Did they give you any details about why they called all three of us up there?”

Mikey shook his head. “Like I told Leo, all she said was that it was important that all three of us be there and to get there quick.”

Raph pressed his lips into thin lines as he thought, then: “Did either of you bring him a change of clothes in case it was one of those accidents?”

Mikey looked from his phone to Raph, met eyes with Leo, then both returned to Raph's gaze.

Raph groaned.

“Well don't get mad at me,” Leo exclaimed. “I was at work when Mikey called me.”

“I was in the middle of dinner! Being interrupted like that pissed me off. Sorry I forgot,” Mikey said sarcastically.

Raph rolled his eyes, sat back in his seat. “Whatever. We can just pick him up and take him home. I just hope this is quick; I have another job to get to in two hours.”

“Yeah.” Leo leaned back against the window, staring out blankly. “Señor Hueso was at least nicer than Leslie about letting me leave early, but I still have to make it up.”

“I just hope it's not something dumb,” Mikey said, returning his attention to his phone.

“I don't know with this school. They make a big deal about everything,” Raph said.

“Yeah,” Leo spoke. “That one teacher of Donnie’s gets on my nerves. What's her name? Ms…. Lily I think?”

“That wolf lady?” Raph asked.

Leo nodded. “Yeah, she's just so…” He did an exaggerated hand motion then continued: “Wishywashy.”

“Eh, I don't know. I think she's fine,” Raph said.

“Yeah you would think that,” Leo mumbled.

“What--” Raph cut himself off with a huff. He shook his head disinterestedly before leaning back in his seat.

The three sat in silence for the rest of the bus ride. Leo stared out the window, occasionally drawing pictures in the fog his breath made. Mikey was on his phone the whole time, his hood pulled up over his head tightly. Raph eventually passed out from the rhythmic motion of the bus, his mouth wide open as he snored.

The bus came to a stop and the driver shouted the location. Mikey looked up before nudging his brothers. “Hey, we're here.”

Raph coughed as he woke up. He rubbed his eyes before standing in a ducked position so as not to hit his head on the bus roof. 

Leo followed behind them, stepping off the bus onto the sidewalk and taking a breath.

Raph stretched his arms and took a deep breath. “Damn I'm tired.”

Leo yawned. “Yeah, same. I almost fell asleep too.”

“Then let's just hurry this up and get home,” Mikey remarked.

They walked as a group down the sidewalk. The school was only now a block away, an easy walk for the three of them. They turned a corner, the school now in sight, police vehicles and officers covered the campus.

“What the fuck?” Leo commented.

“Did something else happen today?” Raph asked.

“Maybe there was a fight?” Mikey said.

“Maybe.” Raph scratched his head. “You guys don't think it involved Donnie do you?”

Mikey and Leo looked up at Raph, both of them letting out a chortle.

“Raph, come on,” Leo said, “What kind of fight is Donnie gonna get into.”

“A fight with his bladder maybe,” Mikey snickered. Leo laughed with him.

Raph rolled his eyes.

As they approached the school they could hear screaming. Near the front of the school was a portly woman screaming at a man as he was escorted to a police car; she had the appearance of a cuttlefish.

“How could you do this!?” She screamed, it seemed more like shock than an actual question. “I-- I don't-- I can't--” Her voice broke up into crying.

The man being escorted, whom the brothers upon getting closer realized was the teacher Mr. Calimar, tried to reply to the woman: “Ellania, please, listen to me I—”

“No!” She screamed back. “I can't even look at you right now!” She heaved. She stumbled back as an officer helped her keep balance. By now she just turned into a crying mess as Calimar was placed in the car.

“Okay,” Mikey said, “What the hell.”

“Isn't that Mr. Calimar?” Raph asked as they continued to the front door.

“I think so?” Leo answered. “He looks like shit though, I wonder what happened to him.”

An officer at the front door stopped them from entering. “Can I help you three?”

“Uh, yeah, we're here because the school called us?” Raph said.

The officer stared at them for a moment. He chewed his lip then asked: “Are you three the Hamatos?”

“Yeah,” Mikey answered.

The officer nodded slowly. “Ah, I'm sorry about this. I can't imagine how you three must feel.”

Leo raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for what?”

The officer’s eyes widened. “Oh. You guys don't know yet?”

“Know what?” Mikey asked.

The officer rubbed his eyes and shook his head. He took a breath then faced them again. “They'll tell you inside. They're waiting for you in the principal’s office.” He stepped aside and let them through.

“Okay, what the fuck is actually going on?” Leo asked out loud.

The school was mostly empty except for some police strewn about the halls. The three brothers headed to the principal's office where even more police were around.

The secretary of the school noticed them, stood from her chair and walked over. “You three are Donatello’s brothers?” she asked.

They nodded.

“Yeah,” Raph replied.

“Come with me.” She waved them to follow her. She brought them across the room, stopping to knock on a door before entering. “The Hamato brothers are here,” she said to someone inside. Whoever she's spoken to replied and she opened the door fully for the three behind her. “Go on in.” As she left them she let out a squeak of a sob.

The brothers shared a look before entering the office. There were four people inside the office; two of them were speaking: Ms. Lily and the vice principal. They all stopped to look at the brothers as they came in.

“Please close the door behind you and take a seat if you wish,” the principal said. She was an elephant yokai that wore a dark purple suit. Her fingers interlocked as her hands rested on the desk.

Mikey closed the door behind them before taking a seat on the right side of the desk. Raph sat in the front while Leo chose to continue standing.

“What's with all the police?” Leo asked.

“That's what we're here to discuss, Mr. Hamato,” the principal said.

“You can just call me Leo.”

The principal nodded. “Right. Leo and…” She motioned to the other two.

“Mikey and Raph,” Leo finished.

“Right. Well, as you all saw when you arrived there is a heavy police presence at the moment.”

“Yeah, we were wondering about it on the way here,” Mikey said.

“Well,” continued the principal, “It's about your brother.”

“Our brother caused all this?” Leo asked in disbelief. “What, did he get into a fight or something?”

The principal shook her head. “No, no, he um… I'm not sure how to say this delicately.” She took a moment to collect herself, then: “He was found, um, in an intimate situation with a teacher today.”

All three of the turtles’ straighted up.

“What do you mean… intimate?” Raph asked.

“A teacher who has since been fired and arrested was discovered in a classroom by Ms. Lily engaging in sexual activities with your brother.”

Raph jumped from his chair. “What?!”

“Mr Hamato-- I mean Mr. Raph, please. I know this is a difficult subject to discuss, but I must ask that you try to keep calm for the time being.”

Mikey blinked. “So what, he was fucking a teacher?”

“Which teacher was it?” Leo asked.

“It was Tryphton Calimar,” the principal answered.

“What?!” Leo exclaimed. “No way, are you serious? But he always seemed so nice.”

“It was a shock to all of us,” the principal said. “But unfortunately there is still more to discuss.”

Raph sat back down slowly, his eyes locked to the principal’s every word.

“After the… discovery Donnie was brought into the nurse’s office and several more upsetting discoveries were made. According to our head nurse your brother is severely malnourished, has signs of severe physical and mental trauma, has multiple self-harming scars, and at the moment appears to have severe psychological issues.”

Three brothers stayed silent as they took in the words. Each description was like a wall crashing into them at full speed. The world felt surreal, her words like a trick.

After some time Raph finally spoke: “I don't… I don't understand. Is he okay?” There was disbelief in his voice.

“I couldn't say,” the principal replied. “I'm not a health professional.”

There was a knock on the door before someone entered. It was a woman with green skin and yellow hair braided around her head. Her ears ended in a point. She crossed the room to stand on the principal's left side next to a large rhino yokai.

“This is Officer McTash of the Hidden City Child Protective Services,” the principal motioned to the woman. “And Officer Drebin of the HCCPC whom I forgot to introduce before. McTash will have more information for you.”

McTash faced the brothers, her hands resting behind her back. “Your brother displays signs of extreme neglect as well as physical and psychological abuse. Our examination of him tells us his condition is symptomatic of a much longer time period, and his reoccurring sexual assault by Tryphton Calimar likely worsened it.

Raph once more jumped his feet but said nothing. His face was stricken with a look of abject horror.

“Raph, you okay?” Mikey asked.

“Yes, Mr. Hamato, do you have something to say?” McTash asked, plain-faced.

Raph stuttered on his words, a small whimper exiting his mouth. “No, ma’am,” he said it so quickly it was shocking.

McTash continued, “You boys haven't been in this city long, but here we take situations like this extremely seriously. And this is frankly one of the worst cases I've seen so far.”

“We had no idea,” Leo said.

“You're his primary care givers are you not?” McTash asked.

“Yes, but, we never would have thought something like this would happen.”

“He lives under your roof. Lives in your care, and you never once noticed anything out of the ordinary with him?”

“But that was just how he was,” Leo replied. “He's just like that.”

“I see.” McTash walked closer. “Well, as of right now, we will be conducting an investigation into Donatello’s welfare. Officers will arrive at your home in the following days to—”

“Because you think we did it?” Leo interrupted.

Ms. Lily huffed softly, catching Leo’s attention. The two of them locked eyes, glaring at one another. It was clear from the wolf yokai’s expression that she already found them guilty.

Leo turned back to McTash. “Because you think we abused Donnie. You think we… hit him or, or—”

“Nothing of the like was said,” McTash said. “We simply examine all avenues in such cases. As well, for the duration of our investigation Donatello will remain in our custody.”

Mikey gasped, his hands clasping over his mouth. Tears formed in his eyes. He felt frozen to his chair.

“This… this is unbelievable. You can't just take our brother from us! That's not fair!”

The principal spoke: “Mr. Leo, please.”

“No, I'm not gonna calm down. This is bullshit! We didn't do anything!”

Raph placed a hand on Leo’s shoulder, startling the slider. Leo looked up at him, the snapper’s expression sullen.

Leo shook his head. “Raph, no…” Tears formed in Leo’s eyes. “Raph you can't-- we can't just let them take him.” He didn't look, but Leo could hear Mikey crying softly behind his hands.

Raph closed his eyes to keep tears from escaping, or at least to prevent anymore.

Leo's lips quivered as he began to cry. He shoved Raph’s hand off him and stood back. “Fuck you. You don't get to tell me how to act. Like you're some kind of model parent." Leo laughed. "The moment Dad died; the moment you brought us here you dipped! You're the worst of all of us! Always working, always too busy, always gone! You were never home long enough to even deal with him! I always had to pick up your slack, I had to be the parent.” Leo was fully crying now, though a smile still painted his face.

His voice was broken up by sobs, his anger shown through like a raging fire. “Then you always came in later and tried to act like you knew what was what. That just because you're the oldest that makes you the boss no matter what.” Leo chuckled. “You're just like Dad. Never fucking around.”

A tear fell down Raph’s face but he gave no response. He wouldn't admit it out loud but the truth was he believed every word Leo said. He was never home, at least never long enough for it to count. He always put work over his brothers, over his family. And he was too cowardly to admit it or to apologize, and now their baby brother was being taken away. He looked away from Leo, fists clenched as he tried to fight his own breakdown.

After a moment, Raph looked back to Officer McTash. “How long will you keep him?”

“Unclear at this moment. The investigation will take some time,” she replied.

Mikey by this point was fully inside his shell as soft sobs leaked out from inside. Raph picked him up and held him close to his chest for comfort, but it seemed to do very little.

Leo stared into space. He wore an expression of anger as he stood arms crossed. Tears still trickled down his cheeks but he acted as if they were not there.

“Anything else?” Raph asked, biting back sobs.

“That is all the information at this time,” McTash said. “You're free to go.”

“Can we at least see him before we leave?” Raph asked again.

McTash shook her head. “At this time you three are not permitted to see him.”

Leo’s breath hitched.

Raph swallowed back a sob. “Did he… did he at least say anything for us?”

McTash stepped up to Raph, looked him in his tear filled eyes. Her expression became soft and kind. “He said,” She took her hands out from behind her back, in them was a small lamb plush with a stain of deep purple. “He was sorry for being a terrible brother. And that he loves you all.”

7 years ago

Raph awoke with a parched throat. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He stretched his small arms over his head before rolling out of bed.

The lair was almost pitch black as he walked to the kitchen for a drink. He took from the cabinet a small cup before filling it with water from the tap. The water was cold in his throat and he hummed pleased.

Raph finished his drink and put the cup in the sink before heading back towards his room. He passed by Splinter’s room, a small cry making him stop on his tracks. He stood still as he wondered what that was before he heard it again.

Raph cocked his small head in confusion. He went up to his dad’s door, the sounds now much clearer; heavy grunt, a pitiful crying.

“Dad?” Raph called out. “Are you okay?”

All sound in the room stopped. There was a harsh whispering followed by a whimper. Footsteps came up to the door before it was opened slightly, Splinter looking down at Raph.

“Yes, Red?” the rat asked.

“I heard something. I thought you were crying.”

Splinter gave a chuckle. “Oh, no my son. I am alright.”

Raph smiled, he glanced past his father into the bedroom and saw Donnie laying there on his knees with his face leaned down into the mattress. “Is Donnie okay?”

Splinter glanced back at the softshell on his bed. “Uh-- y-yes. He is alright. He just… had a nightmare. That is why he's crying.”

“Oh.” Raph met Donnie’s eyes, the softshell’s small hand reaching out slightly. Raph waved back. “I'm sorry, Donnie. I hope your nightmares go away.”

Splinter put himself between Raph and Donnie, blocking their view of each other. “He’ll be fine. Now get back to bed. You woke me up.”

“Okay. I'm sorry,” Raph replied.

Splinter shut the door and Raph could hear him return to his bed. There was another whimper from behind the door as Raph turned and returned to his bedroom. He slept soundly that night.

Chapter Text

9 years ago

Raph dug through a pile of trash that had accumulated on the bank of the sewer. He was careful not to move too quickly in case there was anything sharp. Light dripped over him from sewer drains above and soft, springtime wind blew leaves and flower petals over the pile.

Nearby the snapper, his brothers were digging as well. Mikey was a few feet to his left sitting on the ground as he looked over some items he had found in the pile. Leo was to Raph’s right, mirroring the snapper in how he dug through the trash.

“Guys, I can't find anything,” Leo whined.

“Just keep looking,” Raph replied. “You'll find something eventually!”

“There's lots of stuff, Raph, but I don't think Donnie would like any of this.” Leo plopped himself down and crossed his arms.

“Leo!” Raph clambered down the trash pile, stumbling until he got to even ground. He went to his younger brother and shook him lightly. “Come on, Leo! It's his birthday, we have to get him something.”

Leo huffed. “It's too hard.”

“But Donnie will be so sad!”

Leo turned away from his brother trying to ignore him.

“Please? Please, please, please, please, please--”

Leo groaned. “Okay, stop it!” He pushed his brother away. “I'll keep looking.”

A wide grin spread over Raph’s face as he went to hug Leo. He lifted the slider off his feet as his arms wrapped around his small body. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He hopped in place, jostling his brother in his arms.

Leo couldn't help but start to giggle as he went to hug Raph back. Their playful laugh echoed in the sewer tunnel.

“Guys, guys!” Mikey’s high pitched voice rang out. “I found something!”

Raph and Leo both turned to the box turtle. They released each other from their hug and hurried over to their brother. Once they reached him, Mikey held up a pair of dirty, black-framed glasses. The lenses had slight smudges on them but nothing that couldn't be cleaned.

Both Raph and Leo cooed at the present Mikey had procured. “That's so cool!” Leo gleamed.

“You really think so?” Mikey asked bashfully.

Raph nodded. “Mhm! He’s always squinting and saying everything looks fuzzy.”

“I hope they fit him,” Mikey replied with a smile.

Leo turned to his older brother. “Let’s hurry up and find presents, Raphie.”

Raph nodded, a determined look on his face. The two brothers quickly returned to the pile of trash, searching intently to find just the right gift for their baby brother. Mikey spent his time cleaning the glasses he had found. He dipped them in a stream of water and used his shirt to wipe them off. He held them up to the light that leaked down from sewer drains and was pleased with his progress.

After several more minutes Raph’s echoing voice explained: “Woah! Look at this!” With excitement he pried from the pile a small stuffed lamb. Its white wool was stained slightly in various dull colors but otherwise was completely intact.

“Woah!” Leo echoed.

Mikey moved closer for a better look. “That's so cool!”

Raph turned his head upward in pride. “I'm gonna give this to Donnie!”

“He's gonna be so happy,” Mikey said, holding up his pair of glasses to Raphie plushie. He placed the glasses on the lamb’s face, making the box turtle and snapper giggle. “It looks like Donnie!” Mikey squealed.

Leo whined at his brothers. He stomped his foot and crossed his arms. The other two turned to the slider, confused about his reaction. “What’s wrong, Leo? Is it not good?” Raph asked.

“No… but I can’t find anything! It's not fair!”

“It's okay, Leo. You can find something, I promise,” Raph said as he pat Leo’s head.

Leo huffed as he turned back to the pile, ready to return to his search.

“Boys! It's time to come back now!” Splinter’s voice echoed down the sewer, catching the three turtles’ attention.

“No, but I didn't find anything yet!” Leo whined.

Raph pat his back. “I'm sorry.”

Leo’s eyes began to well up with tears as he looked up at his brother. His mouth quivered as he tried to hold back his crying.

“Oh, please don't cry, Leo!” Raph said. “It'll be okay, I promise.” He pulled his brother into a hug to comfort him.

“B-but Donnie is gonna be so-- so sad!” Leo cried.

Raph rubbed his back. He'd learned that from their father, it was something he'd always do when one of them was crying because it always seemed to make them feel better. “He will be okay. Maybe just give him a hug and kiss as a present!” The snapper released Leo from the hug.

The smaller turtle sniffled as he rubbed his eyes. “Will he like that?”

Raph nodded. “You like hugs and kisses, right?”

Leo nodded.

“Then Donnie likes hugs and kisses!” Raph cheered.

Leo giggled as his tears dried. “Okay! A hug and a kisses for Donnie!”

The three turtle brothers cheered together before they once more heard their father call out to them. They quickly sped back home, meeting the rat at the entrance and greeting him with hugs.

Splinter chuckled. “Welcome back, my sons. Did you all find presents for your brother?” His disheveled hair fell over his face as he looked down at them

The three brothers nodded with huge grins on their faces.

Splinter smiled back. “Wonderful! Your brother is in the living room”

“Yes!” They cheered together.

Splinter led the three young turtles into the lair. The floor was covered in leaves and petals from being blown in as plants on the surface bloomed and the wind occasionally blew them into the sewers; a favorite pastime during this season was to rake the leaves and petals into piles and jump in them.

They came into the living area. Circling the couch they found the smallest of the turtle children, Donatello—freshly five years old, sitting on the floor playing with a toaster he had taken apart.

“Happy birthday, Donnie!” Mikey yelled first.

The softshell turtle spun around and squinted in their direction. He was thankful for their brightly colored clothes or he would've had a harder time telling who they were.

“Mikey!” Donnie cheered back. He pushed himself to his feet and wobbled over to the box turtle, pulling his older brother into a hug.

Mikey squeezed his little brother in arms and the two of them laughed playfully. He set his brother back down and spoke to him with a grin over his face. “I got you a present, Dee.” He held his hands behind his back, rocking on his heels.

Donnie hopped in place in excitement. “Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!”

From behind his back Mikey held out the pair of glasses to his brother. The softshell squinted at them, trying to figure out what they were exactly.

“They're glasses. So you can see better,” Mikey said. He turned them over and slid them onto Donnie’s face.

Donnie stumbled back then blinked as he gazed around at his surroundings. The room was no longer blurry, everything was perfectly visible. He turned to his family and realized he no longer had to squint at them to see.

Donnie shook with excitement, his mouth spreading from ear to ear. He leaped back onto his brother for another hug. “Thank you, Mikey!”

Mikey laughed and hugged him back before setting him back down.

Raph stepped up next and presented his gift to the softshell. Donnie gasped in awe at the stuffed sheep, quickly snatching it from his brother’s hand and squeezing it.

“So cute!” Donnie exclaimed. “Thank you, Raph!” The two brothers hugged; the snapper’s arms a comforting pressure on the younger one.

Leo stepped up next, his hands hidden behind his back as well. Donnie beamed at him in excitement, curious at his next gift.

Leo shuffled in place nervously for a moment. “I got you…” He trailed off, then pulled Donnie into a tight embrace and peppered his head with playful kisses. “Hugs and kisses!”

Donnie giggled as Leo assaulted him with kisses. “Leo, stop it!” he yelled playfully.

Raph and Mikey joined the hug, squeezing Donnie tightly. Their combined laughter echoed in the lair as Donnie was attacked with love. The four young turtles eventually collapsed onto the floor, still laughing as they fell into a pile of childhood innocence.

A gust of air rustled the leaves and petals on the lair floor, landing on the four young turtles.

Mikey sat up. “Guys! Let's make leaf piles!”

“Yeah!” Donnie exclaimed excitedly.

They all jumped to their feet and began to collect leaves into a pile by various means. Splinter watched them from the couch, tracking his sons as they played together. He watched Donnie stumble and fall, before being helped up by Raph and continuing to play. Splinter’s eyes stayed on Donnie the rest of their play time, his face becoming stoic as his mind raced.

The rest of the day was spent enjoying Donnie’s birthday. The turtle brothers hardly left each other's sides for long. Playful cries filled their home for hours before night eventually came.

One by one the brothers fell asleep, being carried by their father to their shared room for a good night’s rest. Splinter left them there to rest for most of the night as he stayed in his own room thinking and contemplating; mulling his thoughts over in his mind as his heart raced.

Splinter shook Donnie lightly to wake him, the small turtle rubbing his eyes as he looked up at his father. “I have a special birthday present for you.” Splinter had told him, and the small turtle was all too happy to follow the rat to his room; hand in hand, father leading son.

Flower petals drifted to the floor of the sewer from the surface. Flowers on the surface lost their petals to the wind.

A flower in the sewer would lose its petals tonight.

Chapter Text

2 years ago

Donnie had not seen Papa for two days since Mikey yelled at the softshell for something he didn’t fully understand. Raph had sat them on the couch and explained something to them that Donnie couldn’t remember.

The lair was silent in the night apart from the soft breeze that came in through the sewers. It brought with a scene of mildew and filth that was not foreign to the turtle brothers. Donnie waited patiently in his room for the familiar knock on his doorframe, but the hours ticked by and no knock came. He began to wonder if Papa had fallen asleep early. He couldn’t recall a time past that had happened. Papa usually took him for training in the deep night when his brothers were asleep. It was a secret Papa had instructed Donnie to keep or else his brothers would get jealous; that’s what Papa said at least.

Another hour of waiting and still no knock on his door to whisk him away. Donnie hugged at his Botticellamby plush nervously before sliding from his bed to the floor. He carefully sat his lamb on the floor with his others before he cracked open his bedroom curtain. The lair was near pitch black in its darkness, only the moonlight that poured into the sewers gave light to see. As quiet as he could, Donnie crept through the lair to his father’s room. The path was familiar, he had walked it a thousand times; Donnie suspected he could travel the path with his eyes closed if he wished, but the lair was dark enough with open eyes.

He stopped at his father’s door, its old Japanese style contrasted with the rest of the cement brick lair. Donnie rapped his small knuckles on the thin door softly and waited for a reply; there was none. He knocked again and called in a hushed voice, “Papa?” There was no answer again.

Donnie became worried at his father’s silence. Such silence usually meant the softshell had misbehaved in some way which would often lead to a rough punishment in training. Did I eat too much today? Donnie wondered to himself. He recalled the earlier day; he had only eaten two slices of bread, one for breakfast, one for lunch. It was a meal Papa had personally chosen for the softshell. Donnie couldn’t recall having eaten anything else in the day, but the memory of those meals brought a growl to his stomach. He clutched his gut as a sharp pain struck him. Donnie waited a moment before it subsided. He shouldn’t have been thinking about food when he wasn’t allowed.

The silence from his father’s room was deafening and it terrified the softshell. Was Papa ignoring him? He had done that before. It was expected of the softshell to make Papa feel better when he’d hurt the rat’s feelings. One day during training Donnie had accidentally scratched Papa’s face. His father grew teary-eyed and asked Donnie why he had done that, asked if he hated his father. The softshell did all in his power to soothe his father’s tears; his efforts left himself sore the next day.

Donnie peaked open his father’s door, moonlight trickled in. The silver light fell over Papa’s bed; a blanket covered that rat completely.

“Papa?” Donnie called to him.

With no answer he crept into the growing room, every step farther than the next. When finally Donnie reached the mountain wall that was his father’s bedframe he reached up to the rat. Standing on his toes he tapped Papa’s shoulder.

“Papa?” Donnie swallowed hard when again no answer. “Papa, am I in trouble?” The rat gave no reply but the silence was just as hurtful as his yelling. Tears came to Donnie’s eyes quickly. “Papa, I’m sorry…” He didn’t know what he was apologizing for, but he must have done something; it was always his fault. Donnie knew how disappointing he could be, how he was the cause of so much strife and contention. It was him that required so much so often that his brothers rarely got a chance to speak to their father.

“Papa, please…” His throat was tight. He shook his father again. “Papa, please, I’m sorry…”

The turtle’s mind raced with what he could have done. What mistake he clearly made. What obvious problem he created to warrant this reaction from his father.

Two nights ago came to mind; Papa had been so tired, too tired to move. He had ordered Donnie to do the work himself: “Climb into bed, Donatello, and do it for me. I’m too tired.” Those had been his words before the softshell clambered into the bed and satisfied his father himself. Donnie had faced the foot of the bed while he worked—Papa always liked the view from behind—moving himself up and down, mimicking the rhythm his father would use as best he could; Papa hadn’t even put his hands on Donnie. When Papa had finished with a wheezing groan Donnie felt his bottom flooded; it was as wet as his face had become.

The answer was clear now to Donnie; he’d hadn’t done good enough that night. He reached up for his father unmoving in bed, climbing onto the mattress. “Papa, I’m sorry I didn’t do good last time.” Donnie shook his father in bed for his acknowledgment.

“Papa, please! Please, I’m sorry!” Donnie gazed down his fathers still body. He gasped, realizing what his father must want. He scrambled to the foot of the bed and pulled up the blanket covering the rat’s lower half; the brown robe covered him politely.

Donnie trembled as he opened Papa’s robe, exposing his genitals. He ran shaky hands over the sheath, doing his best to perform an action he’d done before. “Papa, please!” His hands moved faster as his anxiety built, desperate for any kind of reaction. Donnie bent down to lap at the sheath, its taste familiarly rancid. Tears poured from his eyes as he battled his father’s attempt to stay unaroused.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Donnie screamed, and so thankful he was that his brothers couldn’t hear. He moved his hands roughly, losing any sort of rhythm he’d built before. He begged and pleaded for his father’s affection, for his touch, for his love; those apple-crisp words that would pour from Papa’s lips when he was wrapped around the softshell and they somehow made everything better.

He would never hear those words at home again.

2 months later

It had been so swift their move from the sewers to the Hidden City, only two months after Splinter’s death. Donnie could barely remember it all; Raph’s fight with Leo, Mikey’s apprehensiveness, the hundreds of boxes Raph had scavenged to carry everything. Donnie had cried of course at the sudden change. They were moving to a place he’d never known, never seen, only vaguely heard about when his brothers would return home from outings together laughing; outings Donnie was never invited to.

In the blink of an eye the lair was empty; no beds, no television, no games, no skateboards, no posters, no curtains. Nothing. The lair seemed bigger now that it was empty and his things were boxed away. Leo had been forced to help Donnie pack everything, the slider reeked of alcohol when he did.

Another eye blink and they were in a new home with new rooms, a new kitchen and new bathroom. Everything was different, everything was scary. Donnie was left to unbox his own things in a room much smaller than his old one.

Unpacked and unboxed Donnie found himself alone at home. Raph had disappeared to take jobs around the city—not even a goodbye for the softshell. Leo quickly had to get one as well, much to his own disapproval.

Mikey’s continued presence at home further isolated the young turtle. The rage that emanated from the box turtle when Donnie was around was palpable. It surrounded Donnie every moment he was at home like a chain around his neck.

School. Donnie was in school now. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how he’d gotten there. Perhaps he walked? A person had visited their home some days before to speak to Donnie’s brothers and the softshell’s name was mentioned. There were groans of frustration and exacerbated sighs but his brothers relented nonetheless.

Donnie walked through the halls that rang with voices unfamiliar and speakers that announced intangible things. His head was heavy on his shoulders and the walls contorted around him. Faces morphed as they brushed past the turtle without care. Where was he supposed to go? Which classroom was it? Donnie tried to remember it; eventually he did.

He stumbled his way to class and took a seat near the middle; the desk seemed bigger than it should be. As other students filed into class the room seemed to change to a normal size, his body coming back to its normal weight.

As the bell rang and the door was shut a teacher walked in. The student’s quieted down as the teacher took his place by the board. With delicate and swift movement he wrote his name on the board before facing the class.

“Good morning,” he spoke in a calm and formal tone. “My name is Mr. Calimar, and I look forward to having a wonderful year with you all.” His eyes crossed over the room before stopping on Donnie and the cephalopod grinned from ear to ear.

Chapter Text

5 years ago

Cold night air bit at Donnie’s skin. He hugged himself as he shivered in the New York breeze; his sweater doing little to warm him. He stood on a rooftop overlooking the city; the stars were hard to see from the lights. Loud cars zoomed by on the road below, every so often letting out a piercing honk! that made the softshell jump with a yelp.

“Donnie, can you chill?” Leo spat.

Donnie’s brothers were standing a few feet in front of him, eyes gazing over everything but him. Leo only gave Donnie the faintest of glances before turning back away. He spoke something to Mikey that the softshell couldn’t pick up; it was better that he didn’t. His face was downturned, eyes looking up between the multi-colored masks his brothers wore.

“So,” Raph began, turning to Leo and Mikey, “I say we go to the deli shop on Baker and back. That gives us four blocks to cover.”

Mikey waved his hand dismissively. “Pssh! Easy. Hopefully you guys can keep up, because I won’t be slowing down.”

“Whatever you say, Michael, but today is Leon’s day!” Leo said.

“And who won the last two races, hmm?” Mikey gave Leo a smug smile, pushing himself in Leo’s face.

Leo shoved his brother away. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You can’t win forever.”

“Wanna bet?” Mikey replied.

Donnie held himself as another chill blew over him. As his brothers conversed he creeped to the roof’s edge and looked over. The dark alleyway below seemed to dip further away the longer he stared at it. He backed away from the edge quickly, swallowing hard. “How do we… get over the edge?” he asked meekly.

His brothers turn to him, a chuckle escaping Mikey’s lips.

“You jump,” Leo said plainly.

“But… but that’s too far!” Donnie replied.

“Hey, don’t complain to us. You’re the one who begged to come to the surface with us,” Leo said.

“I-- I know, I’m sorry, but I’m just wondering if—”

“Donnie,” Raph interrupted, “Either race with us or don’t. If you can’t do it, then go back home. I’m sure Dad has some training for you or something.”

“No!” Donnie shouted. “I-- I mean… I want to stay.” he tugged at the bottom of his sweater embarrassed.

“You don’t have to yell. Calm down, jeez.” Mikey rolled his eyes.

Donnie ducked his head submissively. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,I’m sure.” Mikey turned away from him and lined himself with the roof’s back edge. “Okay, we ready to get this race going?” He cheered.

“Only if you’re ready to lose,” Leo jabbed back.

The three older turtles lined themselves at the roof’s back edge, readying themselves to run. Donnie observed their posing and attempted to mimic it, but he was still unsure about making such a wide jump.

Raph began to count down: “One.” He glanced at his brothers who shot him back competitive smirks. 

“Two.” They all faced ahead, readying their muscles, eyeing the finish line.

“One.” It was almost time. Their bodies were clenching in anticipation.

“Go!”

The moment the word left Raph’s lips all three of them were off. They launched themselves forward, dashing to the roof’s edge. Raph took a slight lead ahead of Mikey and Leo as he leaped across the alley and landed on the next building.

Leo and Mikey raced neck and neck as they came to the jump. Leo kicked out his leg to trip the box turtle, sending Mikey tumbling down into the alleyway below.

“How’s gonna win now, Michael?” Leo yelled as he continued running.

Donnie peaked over the building’s edge at his brother. The box turtle grunted as he pulled himself from the trash. He was mumbling something to himself when Donnie called down to him: “Mikey? Are you okay?”

Mikey looked up at his baby brother, the playful annoyance on his face morphing into regular annoyance. “I don’t need your help.”

“I-- I know but—”

“Donnie! I said I don’t want your help!” He brushed the trash from his shell before climbing back onto the opposite roof. He looked back at his brother. “Try to not fall super far behind. I don’t want to come get you.” He spun around and followed in the other two’s tracks.

Donnie gulped, looked down into the alley, then back up at his brothers’ shrinking forms. He took a deep breath, clenching his fist to steady himself. Then he took steps back before running as fast as his body would let him. He pushed off from the roof and at that moment a sharp pain shot up his legs to his back. He had just enough time to catch himself on the next building’s edge as he wailed from the pain.

He dangled on the side of the building as he tried to pull himself up. The pain has traveled back down to his hips where it sat. It pulsed in his core, his body screaming at him to stop. Tears came to his eyes as he struggled. His fingertips hurt as his grip tightened; it was a surprise to himself that he’d been able to keep hold.

Donnie groaned as he pulled himself onto the roof, laying flat on his back as he let the pain throb. He wanted to stay like that, lying there in a puddle of bodily agony until it lessened. But Mikey had told him to keep up, he wasn’t allowed to fall behind. Donnie shivered as he pushed himself back up, his stance wobbly. His brothers were so far ahead now; they were faint silhouettes in the distance.

Donnie swallowed the bile in his throat as he ran; his body screaming at him to stop. He ran with a lip, his left foot hitting the ground harder than the right. He winced with every step, whined as he reached the roof’s edge and jumped. He made it across, but tumbled on his landing; the pain was sickening and made his stomach churn.

Did his brothers feel like this while running too? They have better practice for sure. They moved so effortlessly, like it barely bothered them. Maybe it just takes more practice, maybe Donnie just needed to run more.

Donnie nodded to himself; his lips quivered as he fought tears. He stood up and started to run again. He pushed off the roof, cracking pain traveling up his body, his hips on fire. Donnie wailed as he landed on his feet on the next rooftop. His stomach heaved and he had to lean against a wall to keep himself from vomiting. He gasped as he leaned his head on his arm, sweat soaking into the sweater’s sleeve. The pain stung in his gut, it singed at his legs. It reminded him of the day he huddled in the bathroom as blood seeped from between his legs; something large and bloody in the toilet. It had hurt as it came out, his stomach cramping violently. And when he’d asked Papa it only made his father furious. The rat had hit him while shouting: “It's your fault that happened! Be thankful your brothers didn’t see! And be glad it happened, I don’t want another mouth to feed.”

He took a moment to collect himself then stood back up, running again. He jumped, landed on his feet; the agony excruciating. He kept moving, ignoring his body as it begged him to stop. But he couldn’t stop, he wasn’t allowed to stop. “Keep up” Mikey had told him. It was required of Donnie and he was failing, he was letting his brothers down.

Painful jump after painful jump. Donnie could hardly see through his tears; his body carrying itself at this point. He could hear voices up ahead; his brothers’ speaking.

“Finally, he gets here.”

“I can’t believe you made us wait for him.”

“Well would you want to explain to Dad what happened if his precious pet disappeared?”

Donnie landed on a rooftop and collapsed before crying softly. “I’m… not a… pet…”

“Huh?” Mikey asked.

Donnie shook as he pushed himself into a sitting position. He stared up at his brothers through his thick glasses. “I’m not a pet.” His lips formed into a pout.

Leo rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He stepped past his baby brother, stretching his arms and legs. “Alright! Ready to race back?”

“Race back?” They had to race back? Donnie crawled on his knees to face his brothers. “I… I can’t! It hurts!”

“Oh my god, you are so dramatic,” Mikey whispered harshly.

Donnie's throat hurt from crying, his legs hurt from running, his hips ached. He moved slowly to try lessening the pain, every inch of movement sent a shockwave of static-like pain coursing through his body. His brothers prepared themselves, getting into their starting positions; this time Mikey was on the other side of Raph away from Leo. The softshell reached out with his hand, asking them to carry him back.

“You get all that special training with Dad and you still complain,” Raph chastised. “You ran yourself here, you can run back.” He faced away from Donnie before whispering, “Not like you’re gonna win anyway.” This got snickers from the other two turtles. Raph counted down like before and they sped off back the way they came.

Donnie’s tears marked the stone roof he was left on. He shouldn’t have asked for their help, it wasn’t their job to carry him around, he knew that. It wouldn’t have been fair to them to make them carry him all that way, he was probably too heavy. That’s why Papa tells him what to eat.

He pushed himself standing, his legs sore and wobbly. He sucked in a tight breath before picking up speed, jumping over the alleyway and clinging to the building’s side. There was so little strength in him left; he was so tired, so weak, he just couldn't go on he felt.

Donnie pulled himself into the rooftop with all the strength he could muster. He stumbled forward before collapsing in pain, unable to move anymore.

The world grew around him, raindrops became oceans that stole his tears. The pain in his body became fuzz until he could no longer feel it. The stars blurred into the dark sky until all he could see was black.

Donnie awoke to heavy steps as he was carried over someone’s shoulder. His sweater was heavy and wet against his skin. Muffled voices hit his bounced against his ears; they were too big to fit inside.

Papa yelled something at his brothers. Raph yelled back. Papa took Donnie from the snapper’s arms and carried him away as he yelled.

The door to Papa’s room shut before the rat peeled the soaked sweater and mask from Donnie’s body. Plush pillows and blanket engulfed his small body as Papa climbed over him, his mouth traveling miles across the emerald skin; Donnie remained wet.

Papa’s body surrounded Donnie, trapping him in his grip. He was encased by the wall of grey fur as Papa moved slowly; like words in his ears, Papa was too big for the turtle.

It was no longer raining, but Donnie’s face remained wet.

Chapter Text

It had been a little over one month since Donnie was taken from them, and a little over one month since the HCCPS had practically invaded their home and inspected every nook and cranny of the small apartment. Each brother had been given thorough and intensive interviews. Leo had been particularly annoyed by it all when officers had discovered a collection of sex toys in his room before proceeding to ask and probe him with vague questions that danced around asking plainly if he'd ever used them on Donnie.

Now Donnie was planned to be returned to their care, albeit with caveats that were said to be explained upon the officers’ arrival.

Raph paced back and forth by the front door of their apartment with anxiety. His hands fumbled together as he whispered incoherently and his mind raced. His baby brother was coming home and he was riddled with fear. The terror of looking the softshell in the eyes after everything that had happened and everything that didn't happen was near fatal to the snapper.

He had been walking in circles by the door for at least an hour. All other thoughts had been emptied from his mind. His heart pounded in his chest; they had to make a good impression. Raph had had to take the day off of work for this, he wasn't used to time moving so slow. Every second he had to wait was longer than the last, anxiety building to a boiling point.

“Ugh… Raph..!” A low groan from the living room.

Raph jumped slightly as he was pulled out of his head. He spun around to meet Leo staring back at him; the slider was slumped on the couch, a nearly empty liquor bottle in hand. Raph’s eye twitched in annoyance at his brother's current state.

“Leo, are you drunk right now?”

Leo blinked his eyes separately. “Uuuhh… I think. It's hard to tell when I've been drinking.” His head fell forward onto the arm of the couch.

Raph grinded his teeth in anger. “No, you can't be like this right now! You're gonna fuck everything up!”

The officer would arrive with Donnie any minute, and Raph was set on making a good impression to welcome their brother home, to show that they were all responsible to take him back. Leo seemed to ignore all of that in favor of getting hammered which only worsened Raph's already stress filled head.

Raph rushed into living room, grabbing Leo to sit him up. “Hey! I need you to sober up, right now! Please, Donnie could be here any second.”

Leo chuckled before slumping back into the couch. “So what… It's not like he's never seen me drunk before.”

“It's not just about that,” Raph began to explain, “There's gonna be a HCCPS officer in here with him. They can't see you like this, it's gonna cause problems!”

“Oh, I’m the problem now?” Leo retorted.

“No, that's not—”

“Because I’m not the one who put him in that school to get raped!”

Raph clamped his hand over Leo’s mouth roughly. “Don't fucking say that.”

Leo wriggled free of his brother’s grip. He rubbed his jaw to soothe the pain. “Why not? It's what happened.” He lifted the bottle to his mouth and took a long drink. He coughed then laughed.

“Don't say it like it's my fault.” Raph glared at the slider.

Leo’s head lolled to the side. His eyes blinked heavily. “But I thought you were the 'primary caregiver',” he said in a mocking tone.

Raph sighed as he stood, pinching the bridge of his beak. “I'm not having the conversation with you while you're fucking drunk.”

Leo groaned as he shifted sitting positions, took another swig, said: “Then go talk to the other brother you forgot about. He's been in the kitchen since ten this morning.” He went for another sip but found the bottle empty before tossing it aside.

Raph looked towards the kitchen area, realizing how he'd not seen Mikey at all today. He peeked around the corner and saw his little brother’s shell facing him. The box turtle’s shoulders were raised as he cut something on a cutting board. Open cookbooks were strewn across the countertop. He noticed a pot on the stover overflowing and quickly crossed the room to turn it down.

“Mikey, your stuff was spilling,” he said softly.

The box turtle stayed facing away, the sound of his crying now clearer to the snapper. Raph peeked over his brother’s shoulder glancing at the vegetables on the cutting board that he'd cut far too small to be useful.

Mikey continued to move the knife up and down, no longer cutting anything. He hiccuped as he cried, staring at nothing.

“Mikey?” Raph put a hand on his brother's shoulder, making him jump slightly.

Mikey took in a sharp breath before speaking to his brother without turning. “I… I wanted to cook something for dinner that he'd like…”

A small smile touched Raph’s face. “Oh? That's nice—”

“But I…” Mikey continued through soft sobs, “I don't know what he likes… I don't know what food he likes… I never asked him. I never asked him anything. So I was just going to make everything.” Mikey forced a smile that did little to hide his feelings.

“Mikey…” Raph turned his brother to face him—the box turtle still chopping nothing. “You don't have to do that, it's okay. Just make anything.”

“But it's not okay!” Mikey shouted, hands quickening. “It's not okay! This whole time I hated him. I hated being around him, hated dealing with his issues. And all this time that was happening at school.”

At school. Raph hadn't told either of them yet how he suspected there might be more. His memory was foggy but memories of their childhood had come to the forefront of his mind since their meeting at the school. Vague memories of their father and his mysterious actions. But Raph hadn't told them what he suspected, he wasn't even completely convinced of it himself. It was dad, his father. Sure he wasn't perfect, but it was so hard to believe he was…

“This whole time for two years,” Mikey went on, “And I never cared, I never asked if he was okay. I just yelled and ignored him. I never once--Eeehk!” Mikey jumped and clutched his hand. Blood droplets soaked into the wooden cutting board and glistened on the knife.

The box turtle hissed as he looked at his bleeding fingers. “Fuck.” His voice punctuated with tears.

He pushed past Raph who offered to help but was left ignored. Mikey opened the medical kit and made for the bandages and gauze. He looked at his fingers, held them tight to limit bleeding. For a moment he stood there, then pinched at the wound, hissed in wide-eyed pain, then wrapped them.

“You okay?” Raph asked.

Mikey blinked tears. He sniffled then replied without looking his brother in the face. “I'm just gonna finish dinner.” He moved past Raph but stopped as he was turned by the bigger turtle.

“Hey, it'll be okay,” Raph said, giving a smile he hoped made his brother feel better.

“Okay.” Mikey didn't sound convinced. He broke from his brother’s grip and returned to his cooking.

Raph observed his brother for a moment longer before exiting the kitchen. He leaned against a wall and sighed exhaustedly. Not even his jobs made him this stressed, it felt like he was going to die.

There was a knock on the door and Raph jumped. His mind began to race, he had a million and one things to do.

“Uh… y-yes?” he called out. He facepalmed.

“It's Officer McTash from the HCCPS.”

Raph stuttered. “Yeah, right, right. Uh, just a second!” He laughed awkwardly as he ran into the living room.

He scooped up his brother and slapped him softly on the face. “Leo, listen, they're here. I really need you to try and sober up for me. Okay?”

“Uh… Huh? What?” Leo replied.

Raph ground his teeth and grunted. He took a breath then continued: “Go drink some water and maybe take something, I don't know. Just please try to act sober.” He shoved his brother into the kitchen before spinning back around to the door.

The snapper's chest was beating one hundred miles an hour. His hand reached for the doorknob, Fuck, why is it so far away? When the door was open McTash’s face greeted Raph’s.

The officer’s face was warm but neutral, a far cry from what it was during their first meeting. In the corner of Raph’s vision he saw a second, much smaller figure standing next to her, but he was too terrified to look. He thought it'd be easy to face him—it was his brother after all. But his eyes were glued to McTash, or a magnet repelled him from looking at the softshell he knew was standing there.

Raph swallowed. “Uh, come in?” His voice came out like a squeak.

“Thank you.” McTash crossed the hearth, leading the small turtle by the hand into the apartment. Donnie’s footsteps made no sound, or if they did it was inaudible. Behind them both followed Officer Drebin.

Officer McTash entered the living room and looked around. She then kneeled down to Donnie and spoke to him with a kindness in her voice that Raph had never heard from her.

“Are you tired?”

Donnie nodded silently.

“Would you like to go to your room to sleep while I talk to your brothers?”

Donnie nodded again.

McTash smiled and let Donnie leave the room, his inaudible footsteps fading as he went.

McTash straighted herself before turning to Raph. “He's a nice kid. Hard to believe he's fifteen.”

Raph looked away. “Yeah…” It only just occurred to him that Donnie’s fifteenth birthday had been last week. His little brother had grown a year older and they hadn't been there, they hadn't even remembered it. Raph looked away in shame. The already crushing anxiety increasing in weight. 

“Well,” McTash began, “We have a lot to discuss. Would you care to call your brothers in here so we can get started?”

“Yes, of course.” Raph stuck his head into the kitchen and asked his brothers to join them in the living room.

Leo seemed less drunk, but you could never fully tell with him. Mikey seemed okay, the test stains on his face still remained. They took places on the couch before Raph did the same.

McTash brushed off her jacket as he stood before them; Officer Drebin stood behind the couch. McTash took a breath and clasped her hands together before she spoke: “We are returning him into your custody.”

“Ohmigosh, thank you so much—” Raph began.

“But,” McTash cut him off. “There are conditions for it.”

Raph leaned back on the couch, his hands sat in his lap as he tried to look presentable. He glanced at Leo to his right who was leaving on the arm of the sofa, he nudged the slider to act right before returning his attention to the officer.

“First, you will have a monthly visit from an HCCPS officer. It will be random; you will not be informed beforehand when they will arrive.”

Raph nodded understandingly. He swallowed a lump in his throat. He glanced at Mikey to his left who, like him, was facing McTash fully. Raph noticed the box turtle messing with his bandaged fingers. The snapper returned his attention to McTash.

“Second, Donatello will be required to attend weekly therapy sessions.”

“Wait, but we can't afford that!” Leo exclaimed.

“Mr. Hamato, please. We are aware of your financial situation so the city will be providing it for you. We currently have a set therapist and date chosen but you may of course change therapists with notification and reasoning given to us and you may set future dates accordingly.”

Raph nodded understandingly. He was still on edge even though the officer spoke in a calm and polite tone. There was an air of unease in the room that permeated the apartment.

McTash continued, “I understand that this may all seem like a lot, but this is all for the benefit of your brother. He has been through a traumatic ordeal and will require excessive care. As his family he'll need your help the most.”

“We understand but…” Raph chose his words, “What else are we supposed to do? We never thought that this—”

“No one ever expects this. And no one is ever truly ready or prepared for it. It is a devastating thing to happen to anyone, especially one so young. We as child safety professionals can do what we can but we can only do so much, we can't solve it completely.”

Mikey finally spoke, his sullen expression facing the floor “Then what good can we do?”

McTash knelt on one knee and placed her hand on Mikey’s. “Healing starts at home. Be there for him, he needs you three the most.”

There was a shared feeling of guilt between the brothers. McTash’s words stabbed through them with delicate, unintentioned precision.

McTash stood up. “And it's going to be hard, don't think otherwise. There's going to be good days and bad days. Just push through and take it as it comes and it'll get better.”

Raph nodded. “Okay. When's his first appointment?”

“In two days.” McTash handed him a business card with an address written on the back. “If you need anything, have any concerns, or need to change therapists, call us. The therapist’s office I wrote on the back for you.”

Officer Drebin walked from around the couch to the apartment’s door; Officer McTash followed.

Raph shook her hand politely with a smile. “Thank you for… this.”

She smiled back. “I hope it all works out. He’s… a sweet kid. I'm sure he missed you all.”

The two officers left the apartment and as the door clicked shut an intangible dread fell over the brothers. The HCCPS Officers had been a comforting distraction from what came next. Their presence was a wall that kept some of the shame away; with them gone there was nothing left to keep the three older turtles from doing the impossibly difficult task of speaking to their baby brother

Chapter Text

Had the door to Donnie’s room always been so far away? It seemed hidden in the back end of the apartment, cloaked in darkness. Raph shook as he reached for the doorknob, his heart racing faster than it had ever before. He was terrified of breaking the doorknob and he was upset at himself for worrying more about that than his brother. Why would anything matter more than Donnie?

The door opened in slow motion and it took a moment before the light of the apartment crept across Donnie’s room. The room was dim as it usually was, the softshell rarely had a bright light on; the small window on the back wall had the curtains closed. The room was exactly as it had been left once month ago, everything in its place, nothing changed. This was the first time the three older brothers had even opened this door since Donnie was taken. The room looked so small, like it wouldn’t fit all three of them at once.

Raph balled his hands into fists as he stepped inside, clutching Botticellamby tightly. He squinted as he searched around the room for his brother. He looked over the bed where he had expected the turtle to be but was not.

“Donnie?” he called out in a soft tone.

There was a small stir by the end of the bed. Raph crossed the room and peered around the bedframe. Sitting there at the end of the bed on the floor, surrounded by stuffed animals, he found Donnie; the small turtle clutching a dinosaur plush in his arms as he rested.

Raph just stared at him. He took in every detail of his body; his thin frame, his small shape, how he almost sunk into his own clothes. Guilt gripped the snapper’s chest like he couldn’t breathe. He had to turn away to collect himself, biting his hand to stifle his cries. His senses felt turned to their maximum; he could hear Donnie’s soft, almost wheezing breath, smell the faint scent of urine that came from the softshell. Raph could see the pain on his body, how it was tattooed on his skin.

Raph felt pain in his chest he hadn’t felt in two years. His mind was rewiring itself how it saw Donnie, how it thought of him. The small brat, the spoiled child who took all of their father’s attention his whole life until he died, now he was a small creature in need of help, a thing so weak the wind would knock him over. How could Raph hope to face him after all this time. He squeezed Botticellamby in his hand and sucked back tears.

The snapper looked up at his brothers who had followed behind him; Leo leaned against the doorframe sullen-faced, Mikey stood by the bed clutching his bandaged hand. Raph shared a silent look with the two as he fought tears and was beginning to lose. He turned back around and faced Donnie’s sleeping form. The young turtle looked so peaceful, so calm while he slept. Raph hoped he was dreaming happier things.

“Hey, Donnie…” Raph cooed as he gave Donnie a small shake. He set down the lamb plush near the pile.

Donnie immediately woke up. He blinked for a moment before registering his older brother standing in front of him. His expression dropped immediately and he wrapped his arms around himself and his plush while struggling to keep eye contact.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Raph stuttered. “I just wanted to check on you. Did you… uh, have a good dream?”

Donnie glanced at his brother then away. He shrugged.

Raph kept a strained smile on his face the best he could. He glanced back briefly at Mikey before returning his attention to Donnie. The softshell ignored his look, gazing instead at the floor like he expected his brothers to get bored and leave if he said nothing.

“The, um, officers are gone. If you want to come out of your room,” Raph said.

“Do I have to?” Donnie asked.

“Oh, no, no, no, no!” Raph waved his hands frantically. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I just meant, like, if you wanted to come out of your room you can.”

Donnie stared up at his big brother through his glasses, confusion written on his face. He studied Raph’s words in his head while waiting for the snapper to make the decision. It was plain to see by Raph that his little brother was having difficulty making up his mind. It broke the snapper’s heart seeing how little control Donnie felt he had.

“Um, Mikey made dinner,” Raph said, motioning to the box turtle behind him. “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to, but I think it would be nice if you could be there with us.” He gave a soft, sympathetic smile in hopes of appearing nonthreatening.

Donnie glanced away, like eye contact was painful. He clutched his plushie in his arms as he stood slowly and waited in front of Raph. He followed his brothers into the kitchen, the snapper glancing over his shoulder every so often to see Donnie was still there.

The kitchen was a mess to say the least. Mikey usually kept it quite clean and tidy but there were open cookbooks strewn about, dishes piled on the counter and the sink, and heaps of food—both prepared and raw—covering the cooking area.

Donnie wondered if all this chaos was because of him. Him coming home was probably a big deal and forced Mikey to prepare something at the last moment. The softshell hugged his plush in shame before sitting at the table.

Raph sat at the end of the table next to Donnie while Leo sat at the opposite end and Mikey began to bring food over. 

The entire room was dead silent as the box turtle set out plates and utensils. Everyone seemed to be avoiding eye contact with the youngest in the room, instead sharing looks between each other of varying meanings.

Once Mikey finally took his seat a moment more passed. He cleared his throat, and in a shaky, hushed voice spoke to the table, although it was obviously directed at Donnie.

“I, um, wasn't sure what to make. So I kind of just made a bunch of stuff at once…” Mikey’s hands were set in his lap as he avoided everyone’s eyes.

Leo groaned drunkenly. He leaned forward and began to shovel food onto his plate carelessly.

“Leo,” Raph spoke through his teeth. “Would you please not make a mess?”

Leo froze to stare at his brother across the table, hand still poised to grab more food. Bits of the meal trailed between the dish and his own plate. He huffed before dropping his plate loudly and smiling.

“You never cared if I made a mess at dinner before? Oh, wait, you just weren't ever at dinner.”

“I'm here now,” Raph retorted.

“Genuinely, I'm shocked. Never thought I'd see the day.” Leo shoveled food into his mouth messily, his movements sluggish.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know.”

Raph chortled sarcastically. “No, I don't. So why don't you actually say it? Or are you too drunk to actually think.”

Leo's fist slammed the table. “You don't get to tell me what to do.”

“I do when you're in my house, under my roof.”

“‘Your house?’” Leo laughed, leaning back in his chair before steadying himself. “This isn't a house, it's an apartment; a glorified motel room! And I pay for half of it. You think I'd waste my money paying for this place if I didn't have to?”

Raph grit his teeth, his fingers digging into the table. The tension between the two brothers never seemed to leave, always hanging in the air of the apartment like a noxious gas that choked anyone close. Leo was always so intent on pushing Raph’s buttons, even more so when he was drunk; and Raph never knew how to take criticism, always trying to be the parent when he shouldn't.

“If you have such an issue with the place we live, then you can fucking leave!” Raph yelled, standing. His chair fell back.

“Raph, please,” Mikey tried to cut in.

Leo stood up to mirror the snapper, leaning forward on the table with a grin over his face. “And you'd just fucking love that wouldn't you? I'd finally be out of your hair, and you'd get to be the parent you so desperately want to be.”

“I'm the one who works the hardest!” I slammed a fist on the table. “I keep the lights on! I keep us off the streets. I'm out everyday, working all day long to keep us surviving just so that you can come home and drink until you can't fucking walk!”

“Maybe I drink because I don't like dealing with your stupid bullshit!” Leo shouted back.

“Please, stop, both of you!” Mikey stood, looking between both of his brothers with a concerned and commanding look.

“You don't even work!” Leo turned his voice to the box turtle. “You stay home all day doing what? Looking after Donnie? He's fourteen, he doesn't need a babysitter!”

“He's fifteen!” Mikey yelled back. “But you're too drunk to remember that, I guess.”

“You didn't remember either! He had his birthday in foster care!”

“You're drunk, shut up!” Mikey retorted.

Leo laughed. “Why do you even care? We never cared before. What, because he gets fucked by a teacher he—” He went silent as Mikey's hand slapped across his face.

Mikey’s eyes burned with tears as he stared at his brother. His lips pressed together into a line to keep from crying aloud. He cupped his hand over his mouth knowing if he tried to speak it would come out in choked sobs.

A sharp sniffle cut through the air, drawing all attention to Donnie who sat with his knees to his chest as he hugged his plush.

“I'm sorry…” Donnie whimpered, tears soaking his mask. “...that I make you all so angry. You can send me back if you want. It's only a matter of time before you get tired of me again anyway.”

“No!” Raph exclaimed. He rushed to Donnie’s side, kneeling down to meet the softshell’s tear filled eyes. “I would never— we would never get tired of you. We… we love you, Donnie. I love you.”

Raph moved to hug his baby brother but the softshell flitched away. Raph stopped, staring at him with deep concern.

Donnie cowered away from his brother, pure terror on his face. He shook his head as tears continued to fall. “I don't wanna…”

Raph pulled back. “That's okay, we don't have to hug. I just want you to know I love you.”

Donnie covered his ears with his hands, shutting his eyes tightly while shaking his head. “No, no, no, no…”

“Donnie, Donnie, it's okay,” Raph tried to soothe.

“I don't want to… I don't want you to.” Donnie’s face was scrunched tight as he sobbed. His voice went higher as he whimpered. His legs were pulled against his chest in a protective position, guarding his body from a threat his brothers couldn't see.

“Donnie…” Raph placed a hand on Donnie's shoulder but the softshell flitched away so hard he knocked himself and his chair over. “Donnie, I—”

The softshell scrambled to his feet, his plush held in a fist. He turned tailed and ran from the kitchen, running his face and covering his ears as he cried. “I don't want to! I don't want to! Papa! Papa!”

The sound of Donnie’s bedroom door closing hit the older turtles’ ears and the room was now silent, a tsunami of thoughts coming over them all.

Leo turned back to his brothers, eyes resting on Raph. He grimaced at the snapper who wore a look of distraught. “Nice job, Raph,” Leo snarked. He walked to a cabinet and took out an unopened bottle of yokai whiskey. “We should go back to you not being here for dinner; things were easier when you weren't here.”

Raph growled as he jumped to his feet. He took two large steps towards the slider, arm primed and raised to strike before Mikey stepped between them.

“That's enough,” Mikey stated.

Raph huffed, his eyes still locked to Leo who was barely able to keep his eyes open yet still had a chiding expression. Raph lowered his arm but his fists remained closed.

Leo took a long drink from the bottle in his hand, stumbling and catching himself on a wall. He gasped a breath as he took the bottle from his lips. “You'd probably be a better parent than Dad was if you actually hit me. At least you'd be giving me some attention.”

“Leo, quit it,” Mikey urged.

Leo took another drink. He wiped his lips with a groan before spinning around and stumbling out the kitchen. “Didn't even get to eat.” The slider’s bedroom door shut behind him.

Raph and Mikey stood in the kitchen without a word for a while, just frozen in place without any idea where to go from there.

“I just—”

“Let's not,” Mikey interrupted.

“But…”

“Stop. Just… stop.” Mikey gave an exhausted sigh.

Raph bit his tongue and looked away. His nails dug into his palm all but breaking the skin. He wanted to say something to make it better, to fix this whole situation. An apology, an explanation, an excuse even. This night should have gone better, he wanted it to have gone better. It felt like the universe was against him and his family, that everything he tried was useless.

“I'll clean up, as usual. You can go to bed if you want. You have work tomorrow,” Mikey said without looking at Raph.

“I can help if you want?”

Mikey shut his eyes for a moment, then, “Go to bed.”

Tears burned Raph’s eyes as he tried to find words. He sighed as he released his fists before walking slowly from the kitchen. He stopped in the hallway, glanced between Donnie and Leo’s rooms. Should he say something? Should he apologize to them, or at least just to Donnie? He felt a tugging at his heart that pulled him to his brothers, but his legs wouldn't budge.

Mikey’s right. He thought, I have work tomorrow. He continued to his bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him.

Mikey finished cleaning the table and washing the dishes. He was meticulous in his method, not leaving a single stain on a fork or plate. He put them away neatly, before switching on the stove.

In complete silence—apart from the soft whistle of the stove flames—Mikey took out a metal pan and sat it on the stovetop before gathering random food items.

Heatwaves danced from the hot pan as Mikey began to add disjointed ingredients into it and listen to them sizzle. He took the pans scorching handle in hand to toss and mix.

He normally wore oven mitts. He must have forgotten.

Chapter Text

The walls of the therapy office were a cool cream color with baby blue patterns painted over. There was a machine playing soft classical music in the corner; loud enough that it filled the silence but quiet enough to not disturb a soft conversation.

The furniture of the waiting room was a deep maroon. The seat cushions were soft and worn, a clear indication of prolonged use. Beyond the room through a door at the front end of the building was a receptionist desk, separated by a wall to keep out noise from outside and to keep receptionist phone calls muffled from patients.

At the other end of the room was an open doorway that went into a small hallway with different doors to different rooms; each one holding a mystery.

Donnie sat quietly with his legs closed together, his feet dangling over the floor. He looked polite in his pose, his eyes cast downward at the navy carpet so as to not accidentally meet another person's gaze. To his right was Raph and further right was Mikey.

Other than the soft music the only sound in the room was a clock on the wall ticking away and the occasional cough or throat clearing from someone else in the room.

Mikey fiddled with the new bandage on his hand, a product of cooking gone awry; a second degree burn that covered his whole palm. He said he was making breakfast and accidentally grabbed the pan without a mitt and no one mentioned it further.

Time ticked on for many minutes more before a door opened and two figures walked out. They chatted softly before one of them stopped while waving the other off.

“Donatello?”

The three turtle brothers looked up at the soft voice calling the softshell’s name. Raph was the first to stand, with his brothers following behind.

The woman standing in front of them was quite a colorful individual. She wore a sweet smile on her green face. Her skin was bright moss, and her hair was thin vines of tiny purple flowers, giving the appearance of thinly braided hair that rolled over her shoulder.

Her dress was just as colorful as her; the bodice of the dress was made up of interwoven flower petals that covered her chest and upper arms, while the skirt of the dress was made of hundreds of different flowers of all types; each one a different size and color. Raph, Mikey, and Donnie all had trouble finding just two flowers of identical type and color on her skirt.

“Hello,” the woman greeted them with a slight spanish accent kindly, outstretching her hand.

“Uh, hi,” Raph replied, taking her hand and giving it a light shake. “I'm Raph.” Her hand was soft like grass, and after retracting his hand he could feel a cool dampness like morning dew in his palm.

Mikey took her hand next upon the offer, and his hand too was left with the cool feeling of morning dewdrops. He noticed a scent about her; freshly cut grass and the sweet smell of fresh dirt. She smelt like a well maintained garden. “I'm Mikey.”

She nodded in response to both. “Hello, Raph. Mikey.” Her hands rested at her waist as she spoke. “And you must be Donatello.” She smiled at the young softshell who hid behind his snapper brother.

“He goes by ‘Donnie’ usually,” Raph mentioned.

“Donnie.” She acknowledged. “I see.” The woman straightened, her cheerful demeanor never faltering. “I'm Rosa Verdant, but you all can just call me Rosa. ‘Ms. Verdant’ makes me sound old.” She giggled to herself. “Now, was I mistaken in believing there were four of you?”

Raph shook his head. “No, there are. Our other brother couldn't make it.” Raph recalled earlier that day when Leo left the apartment claiming to be needed at work urgently, although Raph was certain he noticed April hiding outside waiting for the slider.

“That's unfortunate,” the woman said. “I was hoping to get a chance to speak to all four of you today. But I understand things happen.”

“Yeah,” Mikey said in a hushed tone.

“So, uh,” Raph began, “How is this sort of thing done? Like do we all go together or…?”

The woman let out an amused huff. “I think, if it's alright, that I should speak to Donnie first by himself. But of course if I need to speak to either of you I'll ask you to join us.”

“Right.” Raph nodded, looking down at Donnie. The small turtle cowered slightly behind the snapper while he stared at the flower-dressed lady. “It's okay, Donnie. She's gonna be nice to you.”

Donnie met the snapper’s eyes with an expression of melancholy. He looked back to Rosa, stared for a minute; she beamed at him with her warm smile, showing off her teeth slightly. Donnie met her eyes and quickly turned his head away to avoid it. Even without looking he could still feel her eyes on him.

“Come on, Donnie,” Raph coaxed. “It'll just be for a little bit. Me and Mikey will wait out here for you.”

Donnie shuffled out from behind his brother and came up to Rosa’s side.

The therapist squatted down with her hands resting on her knees. “Hey.” She spoke so softly; at this close distance her accent was more obvious. “I just want to talk to you for a minute. Is that okay?”

Donnie still hadn't looked her in the eyes. He instead followed the patterns of the carpet, tracing shapes in the fabric. He shrugged slightly, then nodded his head slowly in response.

“Thank you, Donnie.” The smile in her voice was clear as sunlight.

Rosa stood up and stepped towards the hallway, turning back to watch the softshell. “Can you follow me, please, Donnie?”

Donnie looked back at his brothers who met his gaze. Raph had a crooked smile and gave a nod. Mikey smiled for a moment then let it fall, he gave a halfhearted thumbs up.

Donnie turned back to Rosa and followed her down the small hallway. She took him past several maroon doors before stopping at an open one. She held it open for him as he walked past before letting it close with a soft click.

The small room was peach colored, with a navy carpet and accents. A window on the far wall let sunlight in through open curtains to illuminate the room. On the left side of the room was a sofa and sitting opposite it were some chairs and a table, and set around the room were some potted plants and shelves that held toys and other decorative items.

Rosa walked past Donnie and sat in one of the chairs to face him. Her knees rested together with her hands in her lap. She watched Donnie as he stood in place by the door gazing around the room.

“Donnie, you can sit down.” She motioned to a chair.

Donnie brought the sleeve of his oversized sweater to his mouth and began to bite it softly. He crossed the room cautiously and sat in a chair that was too big for him; he sunk back into the piece of furniture.

“I saw you look at some of the toys I have. Do you want to play with some?”

Donnie looked at the toys on a shelf for a moment then at some on the small table in front of him. There was a wide range of playthings; they were all colorful like her. He returned his eyes to his own lap while still nibbling at his sleeve.

“That's okay,” Rosa said. “We can just talk then.” She shifted in her chair. “So, you live with your brothers, right?”

Donnie took a moment before responding. He nodded his head and a moment later gave a soft: “yeah…”

“That's cool. You know I have older brothers too. They can be pretty crazy, huh?”

Donnie shrugged. His face and body still faced away from the therapist but he had begun to glance her way.

“You like your brothers?” Rosa asked.

Donnie nodded again.

“What’s it like living with them?”

Donnie found the question curious. Why did she care so much about his home life? He knew he was required to be here, but he felt so detached from it all. He could feel drool drip down his chin as he chewed his sleeve. In a moment he would have to answer this woman’s question so he needed to come up with an answer.

Mikey rubbed his shoes together idly as he waited next to Raph. The snapper was humming softly to himself while staring at the clock every few minutes. The burn on Mikey’s palm itched under its bandages and he tried to scratch at it before Raph slapped his hand away.

“Stop messing with it or it won't get better,” the snapper said.

Mikey let out an annoyed huff before shifting in his seat. He turned away from his brother, glancing at a yokai sitting on the other side of the room reading a magazine. He wondered if they were here for an appointment or if they were just waiting for someone else.

The yokai looked up and met Mikey’s face before the box turtle turned away quickly.

Raph’s phone began to buzz, alerting both turtles with the sudden noise. The snapper took out his phone and looked at the notifications before letting out a long groan. “It's my boss.”

“Which one?”

“Jackal.”

“He's the club owner right?” Mikey asked.

“Yup,” Raph replied before answering the call. “Hey, Jackal, what's up?” He listened to their response. “I know, but I'm at a therapist's office right now. No, not for me, my brother.” Raph sighed. “Yes, that brother. No, I can still make it tonight I promise.” His expression shifted to exhaustive understanding. “Yes, I'll work her shift too. Okay, bye.” Raph slumped back in the seat.

“He gave you another shift?” Mikey asked.

Raph dragged his hand down his face. “Yeah, he's making me work Talia’s shift tonight too.”

“So you'll get home when?”

“Like…” Raph counted on his fingers. “Like, five in the morning.”

“Damn.”

Raph beat his fist on his forehead in frustration. “This shit is so annoying.”

“Look on the bright side,” Mikey said. “It means extra money for the apartment.”

“I guess. I'm just getting tired of it. All the work. All this situation. Not to mention Leo being…”

“Being Leo,” Mikey finished.

“Yeah.” Raph thought back to that morning and how Leo had excused himself from going to Donnie’s appointment. “I wish he gave a shit.”

Mikey itches at his hand. “Mhm..”

“I said stop it,” Raph said, swatting away Mikey’s hand.

“Okay!” Mikey replied with an eye roll.

“Raph? Mikey?” Rosa called.

The two turtles looked up from their seat at the flowerful woman standing at the hallway entrance.

“Would you two mind coming with me?” Rosa asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Raph replied.

Mikey followed next to his brother. “Is something wrong?”

Rosa shook her head. “No, nothing's wrong. I just need to speak to you both.”

She led them to the room she'd taken Donnie. Inside they spotted the softshell sitting upright in a chair. He seemed more relaxed than he'd been when they'd first arrived, although still held a tense aura of melancholy around him.

“You two can have a seat where you like,” Rosa offered politely as she closed the door behind them.

Raph and Mikey took a seat on the sofa as Rosa took the chair across from them and next to Donnie.

“So, how'd it go?” Raph asked timidly.

“It went really well,” Rosa replied with a smile. “We had a fun discussion. I got to learn a lot about Donnie.”

“Really?” Mikey asked, glancing to his younger brother before facing Rosa again.

Rosa nodded. “Yes, which is why I wanted to speak to the both of you before you left today.”

Raph leaned forward on the sofa, his arms pulled to his sides to make him appear smaller. Mikey hid his bandaged hand under his other arm to prevent himself from picking at it.

“Are either of you familiar with age regression?” Rosa asked.

Raph and Mikey looked at each other then back at the therapist. They both shook their heads in response.

Rosa repositioned herself in her chair, leaned forward before speaking. “Well, when someone goes through something extremely traumatic as a child oftentimes they can develop it as a coping mechanism. During moments of either heightened stress or feeling very comfortable they may mentally slip into a regressed state, during which they may act and behave like they’re younger than they really are.”

Raph listened to the therapist with somber understanding. He nodded when appropriate and took care to understand every word she said. Mikey listened closely as well, though seemed more upset by Rosa’s words than Raph was. He picked at his hand before Raph lightly patted him to stop.

“Now during this time the world can be a lot scarier. Oftentimes regressing is involuntary and being suddenly forced into a different mental state can be jarring. It might become harder to speak and properly vocalize their feelings. Or their body may just be more difficult to control; things that were once easy or second nature to do can become harder to accomplish which can lead to frustration, and because of their already regressed state these emotions can seem ‘too big’ for them. In some this can appear like temper tantrums.”

The box turtle’s voice caught in his throat. Mikey shared a realizing look with Raph. Pieces fell into place, memories began to make sense. There was a sense of shame between the two of them as they understood the retroactive implications this had. The guilt piled on with each word that came from Rosa’s mouth and the two brothers wished the sofa would swallow them up.

Rosa glanced between the snapper and box turtle; it was almost scary how she was able to portray both a lighthearted and serious demeanor when discussing such a heavy topic. “Have either of you ever noticed things like this before?”

The silence between the question asked and an answer given was too long to be comfortable. Rosa waited patiently for a response like she already knew what would be said. She felt no need to rush answers that were bound to be revealed eventually.

“Somethimes, yeah,” Mikey answered in a low voice.

“A few times,” Raph added. “But I haven’t seen many. I’m usually home late.”

“You’re out of the house a lot?” Rosa asked.

Raph could only nod in response. He’d never felt guilty about working so much, even when the situation at Donnie’s school came to light and the softshell was gone for a month that guilt was minimal. But sitting across from this moss-skinned woman who wore a smile like a weapon turned that guilt into unimaginable weight.

Rosa looked over at Donnie who hadn’t moved from his spot in his chair since his brothers had joined them. He sat with his legs under his hoodie and pressed to his chest with his arms no longer in the sleeves. His eyes peered over the collar at the three other occupants of the room with curious caution.

The therapist turned back to the other two turtles. “How often are you out of the house?”

Raph took a moment before responding. “Most hours of the day I’m working. I usually get home super late after everyone’s in bed.”

“Can I assume you leave early in the mornings as well?” Rosa asked.

“Yeah…” Raph nodded.

Rosa nodded her head. “I understand it can be difficult to balance your work life and home life. Everyone has different lives that require different schedules. But as Donnie’s therapist I can only do so much; I can only help him from my side as an outsider. You two are his family, you are around him the most, you have the biggest influence on him. But from what Donnie and I have talked about, that influence isn’t the best it can be.”

Raph leaned forward on the sofa. “I’m really sorry, ma’am. We’re doing the best we can. There’s just so much going on and we—”

“Raph,” Rosa interrupted. “I understand. You work hard to keep your family afloat and that is admirable, but money alone does not help your brother. He needs you to be there for him, especially now. What I do is not a one-time-fix-all; it takes time and patience and work, and that work starts at home.”

Raph leaned forward resting his face in his hands with a sigh.

Mikey rubbed his shell before speaking to Rosa. “But what are we supposed to do? We’ve never… done anything like this before.”

Rosa took a deep inhale, the petals of the flowers in her hair seemed to stretch open. “I know that.” Her voice was like honeysuckle. “And I would never expect either of you to know how to deal with something like this on your own. So what I want you to do after you leave here and go home is mainly spend as much time with Donnie as you can. Play with him, talk to him, just be around him as much as possible.”

Mikey nodded. He gave Raph soft pats on his shell before pulling his arm away and hugged himself. When Rosa spoke again it felt like new air was pumped into the room while at the same time suffocating them both. Words of future comfort mixed with reminders of their past failures.

“He may fight you,” Rosa continued. “And he will regress and throw fits, and he will cry. When these happen it is imperative that you come to him from a place of understanding. The world will feel big and scary to him and he will have difficulty vocalizing his feelings, so do your best to listen and to help him. Ask him if he’s okay, ask him if he can tell how old he feels and speak to him as if he is that age without talking down to him or making him embarrassed.”

Raph looked up from his hands. “How will we know when it's happening?”

“It could happen at any moment,” Rosa replied. “Like I said, it can be caused by stress, fear, or comfort and joy. Eventually you should learn the signs, but for now just observe and be kind, okay?”

Raph nodded. He looked at Donnie who still hadn’t said a word. “Is he regressed now?” He asked the therapist.

Rosa turned her attention to Donnie, leaned to him with a smile. “Hi, Donnie,” she said in a soft, cheerful tone. “Were you getting bored of our conversation?”

Donnie nodded.

“Aw, I’m sorry. But we’re almost done so don’t worry, you’ll get to go home soon. Are you excited?”

Again Donnie nodded.

“I’m ready to go home too,” Rosa giggled. “I’ve been working all day.”

“Like Raph…?” Donnie whispered.

“Uh, yes, just like Raph,” she replied. “I bet you’re tired though too, huh?”

Donnie replied with a meek: “Yeah…”

“Well, before you go I just want you to do one more thing for me and then you can go, okay?”

Donnie glanced between the therapist and his brothers, then said, “Okay.”

With a smile she asked: “Are you able to tell us how old you are right now?”

“I'm… f-f-ifteen…”

“That's really good, Donnie. Can you tell me if you feel any different right now?”

“Mmmm.” Donnie thought long and hard. “I feel little…”

Rosa nodded. “Can you say how little you feel?”

Donnie swallowed. “Um…” He looked away to think, his face scrunching as his little head tried to understand the question. He held his finger up from inside the head opening of his hoodie and tried to count with them. Donnie began to get increasingly frustrated at his inability to count with his hands. Tears burned in the corners of his eyes and he puffed his cheeks. “I can’t!” he whined.

“Donnie, that’s okay,” Rosa cooed. “You did a good job trying for me. Do you want me to count for you?”

Donnie sniffled but nodded, holding his three-fingered hands out for the plant-wearing woman.

Rosa moved closer to the softshell and pointed at one of his fingers. “Do you feel one?”

Donnie shook his head.

Rosa pointed to the next finger. “Do you feel two?”

Donnie shook his head.

“Do you feel three?”

Another head shake.

“Are you feeling four?” she asked with a smile.

“No.”

“How about five? Are you feeling five years old?”

Donnie looked at his fingers curiously for a moment as he thought long and hard. “Mmmm. Yes.” He puffed his cheeks in a pout.

Rosa clapped her hands softly. “Yay! Five years old, you’re very smart, Donnie.”

A smile tickled the softshell’s lips as he fought to keep it away. He retracted his arms back into his hoodie to continue pouting but it was clear he was pretending.

“Thank you for helping me. Now I just need to talk to your brothers a little more, okay?” Rosa leaned back and faced Raph and Mikey. “Just try doing that. If you ever think he’s regressing just ask him and help him through it, okay?”

Raph nodded. “Okay.”

“Now just one more thing. Coming in here Donnie appeared to have a limp, do you know how long he’s had that or what might have caused it?”

Raph and Mikey looked at each other for an answer. With it clear that neither knew for certain the box turtle replied: “We never really noticed it. He’s walked like that for as long as we can remember.”

“I see.” Rosa pushed a vine of her hair behind her ear. “Then I would only suggest, if it's possible, that you have a doctor look at him. It could be nothing but it’s better to check just in case.” After a small reply from the turtles Rosa nodded, clasping her hands together. “Alright then. Now unless either of you have any more questions I think our time is up today.”

Raph stood and Mikey followed suit. “Uh, well, thank you, Rosa,” Raph said, holding his hand out to shake the therapist’s.

Rosa took the snapper’s hand in hers. “It was a pleasure to meet you as well.” She turned to Mikey. “As was meeting you.” She held her hand out to the box turtle which he awkwardly took.

The therapist then turned her focus to the small softshell still sitting in his chair. “And Donnie, I had so much fun meeting you today. I can't wait to see you again next week”

“Okay.” Donnie shuffled off the chair in a sluggish manner like it was difficult. He waddled to his brothers’ sides and waited patiently.

Rosa opened the door for the three of them as they exited. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

The brothers stopped and turned back to the woman.

“I would still like to meet this fourth brother of yours at some point. Could you have him stop by during a future session some time?”

“Uh.” As much as Raph was pissed at Leo for skipping out, he was also relieved that the slider hadn't come. Leo would more than likely have shown up drunk which would have made things worse for their first impression.

Raph had really hoped Rosa wouldn't have asked about him and she would have just ignored his absence, but the therapist was smarter than Raph had given her credit for.

“Sure,” Raph replied. “I'll let him know.”

Rosa shot him with a big grin. “Thank you so much. Okay, again it was a pleasure to meet you. And I'll see you next week, Donnie.” She waved them goodbye as they continued on their way.

Once out of ear shot of Rosa, Mikey turned to Raph. “There's no way Leo is gonna be able to get himself together long enough to talk to her.”

“I know,” Raph sighed. “I'll think of something.”

“Think of what? He's not gonna listen to you.”

“Well, maybe he doesn't have to meet her.”

Mikey cocked his head in confusion. “You just want her to never meet Leo? Ever? How would you even do that?”

“He didn't come with us today, maybe he won't come with us next time. Or the next.”

“You can't honestly think that will work. She's gonna get suspicious eventually.”

“Everything is gonna be fine, Mikey.”

Mikey pinched the bridge of his beak and sighed. “You can't just keep saying that and act like it fixes everything.”

“I'm not!”

“You act like it though.”

“Mikey, Relax. We're gonna get through this.”

Mikey turned away from Raph and crossed his arms. “Sometimes I understand why you piss Leo off,” he mumbled

Raph opened his mouth to protest but his brother began walking ahead of them before he could get a word out. He sighed.

“I'm sorry,” Donnie said in a small voice.

Raph turned to the softshell at his side. “Donnie, no, it's not your fault. You’re okay.”

Donnie looked up at Raph with round eyes as he nibbled at his sleeve.

The snapper’s eyes glanced at the softshell’s face, at his sleeve covered hand, at his face again. An idea touched his brain and he smiled at his own cleverness. “Do you… want to hold my hand on the way home?”

Donnie blinked in confusion at the suggestion. He stopped walking with Raph who soon stopped as well. The softshell stared silently at his brother, his eyes flicking away in nervousness.

Raph held out his hand gently while putting a soft smile on his face. He felt his idea working. With all his might he made himself smaller, less threatening in appearance. Crouching slightly to meet the softshell’s face at equal level. Everything is gonna be fine.

Donnie looked between the hand and the face of his brother with caution. He took a step back from the snapper as he pulled his arms close. He covered his ears with his hands and shook his head, eyes closed.

Raph’s smile immediately dropped. He quickly pulled his hand back, moving to comfort his baby brother. “Hey, hey, Donnie. You don't have to hold my hand. It's okay, it's okay. No need to cry.”

Donnie pouted at Raph while still covering his head. He flinched as Raph went to touch him, causing the snapper to move away. Tears stung his little eyes as stared up at his brother with cautious observation.

Raph bit back tears. He clenched his fist; he couldn't help but feel frustrated. He was just trying to help, he thought he was being nice like Rosa had told him to. He thought he was doing what he was supposed to do. But Donnie was scared of him no matter what he did.

Rosa had said to be patient and understanding and Raph wanted to be; he desperately wanted to understand, but Donnie made it so hard, he always made it hard. He made Raph feel his efforts were wasted. After long days of work and having to come home to all these new events made Raph exhausted. He sometimes wished they'd never learned what happened to Donnie at school.

“Let's just go home, okay, Donnie?” Raph said in a tense tone. He stood up and motioned for his brother to follow.

The small softshell kept a small distance between Raph and himself, his limp more noticeable as he tried to keep up.

They rejoined with Mikey at the bus stop who still refused to look at Raph. There was a palpably tense silence between the three of them the whole way home.

Chapter Text

The tension hadn't lessened by much by the time they got home. None of them spoke the entire way back until they got inside.

“I'm gonna go start dinner,” Mikey said softly.

Raph gave a nod before shutting the door behind him and watching his brother step into the kitchen. He looked down at Donnie who stood idly in the doorway of the living room like a dog waiting for commands. The sleeve of Donnie’s hoodie was wet with saliva while he stared at nothing. They just looked at each other silently for a while, neither seeming to know what next steps to take.

“You doing okay, Donnie?” Raph asked.

“Sweepy,” Donnie replied softly, pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes.

“You can go take a nap if you want.”

Donnie groaned tiredly as he stepped forward. “Okay.” He walked slowly, coming to lean himself on the wall as he moved. His steps were slugging, like weights kept him down. His glasses rested on his forehead as he rubbed his eyes again. A yawn escaped his mouth.

Raph watched with new fixation. His brother’s uneven steps were so obvious now. They had a rhythm to them but an unsteady one. Donnie must be using the wall as a support; Raph wondered how long he’d walked like that. How many times had they overlooked it? It was beyond obvious he limped, there was no way Raph could deny what he was watching. His stomach twisted itself in dread.

Raph knocked his fist against the wall softly. “Fuck.” His forehead rested on his fist, all he could do was sigh. Everything seemed like it got worse each day. A new discovery to make them all feel like bigger pieces of shit. That was just the first therapy appointment and already he’d learned things that made him want to claw out of his body and scream. But he can’t and he couldn’t, it would only make everything worse. Leo wasn’t helping, and Mikey was already having such a hard time; Raph had to be strong for his brothers, he couldn’t fall behind. Keep his head up and power on to get through.

The sound of a pan being dropped came from the kitchen. “Fu-- shit!”

Raph looked into the room, finding Mikey clutching his hand. “What happened?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” Mikey replied sharply.

Raph came around his younger brother, saw the box turtle clutching his hand. “Did you burn you hand again?” Raph quickly grabbed the first aid kit. “This is the second time, Mikey. You gotta remember your mitts.” Raph took Mikey’s hand in his and began to apply burn cream. “You’re lucky it's not super bad.”

Mikey chuckled. “I’m fine. And we’re going to the doctor soon anyway, maybe me and Donnie can have an appointment.

Raph looked sternly at his brother, finding little amusement in his words. “We shouldn’t joke about that.”

“What? I can’t make a little joke about my injury-- ouch, watch it.”

Raph rewrapped Mikey’s hand, making sure the gauze was tight. “It wouldn’t hurt if you were more careful. And I mean about Donnie; don’t joke about him like that.” He replaced the materials in the kit and put it up.

“I wasn’t joking about him. I was talking about my hand.”

“But it's not just about your hand!” Raph said harshly. “Donnie is going through rough shit and we should take that lightly.”

Mikey took his hand from Raph and stood from his chair. “I know he’s going through stuff! I was there with you today. I heard the same thing Rosa told you. But because Donnie is having problems I’m not allowed to be a little cheery?”

Raph pinched the bridge of his beak and sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I’m just asking you to take this more seriously.”

“You think I’m not?” Mikey closed the distance between them. “I’ve been beside you the entire time! I’ve been with you every step of this. It’s Leo you should be saying this to, not me. Maybe chew his ass before mine.”

Raph rolled his eyes and groaned. “You know Leo barely listens to me already. That’s why I need you to be on my side and help me.”

Mikey crossed his arms. “When have I not been on your side?”

“Well…” Raph stammered. “You could back me up against Leo for a change.”

“Uh-uh.” Mikey shook his head. “That’s you two’s drama. I don’t want any part of it.”

“See! That, that right there!” Raph shoved a pointing finger at Mikey. “That’s not helpful at all! That’s why Leo doesn’t listen because you don’t say anything.”

Mikey returned to the kitchenette and continued his work on dinner. “He doesn’t listen to you, what difference would me saying anything do?”

“Um, what about backing up Raph maybe? I feel like that’s a big reason.”

“Do I not?”

“It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it! The moment Leo and I start getting into it you just check out of the conversation."

Mikey reached up into a cabinet for some spice, he strained his arm to reach the top shelf before Raph grabbed it and handed it to him. “Thanks. But don’t you think that me adding to an argument would only make it worse?”

“I would at least appreciate it.” Raph leaned against the countertop. “I feel kinda on my own here. It sometimes feels like Raph is the only motherfucker in this place that gives a shit!”

“So this is about how you feel,” Mikey snapped, turning to his brother. “Not whether or not I’m actually helping anything.” He handed Raph the spice container to put back in the cabinet.

Raph grit his teeth, sighed. “You’re twisting my words.” He sat the spice on the cabinet shelf.

“No. I think I understand what you’re saying perfectly fine.”

Raph groaned. “Ugh! You’re being so uncooperative. If you’d just took a second to see things from my perspective--”

Mikey interrupted him, deciding to turn full body and face the snapper. “Raph, look; if you want to have screaming matches with Leo everyday that is entirely your choice. I’m not gonna stop you or get in the way of that routine of yours. But if you think for a second that I am gonna join you two in your petty bullshit then you are sadly mistaken. You want to talk about ‘helpfulness’ and ‘appreciation’? I would appreciate you getting off my shell so much!”

Raph clenched his jaw, a low growl escaping his throat before he roared out: “All I asked was for a little bit of fucking help, and you just want ot stand there and fucking--!” He stopped, his expression shifting from rage to realization; Mikey was leaned back, hands clutched together, staring up in shock and terror as the snapper towered over him. Raph breathed heavily as his eyes took in the details of fear from the box turtle.

Raph quickly stepped back and faced away. “I’m sorry.”

Mikey swallowed. He slowly straightened back. His breath was shaky so he clenched his mouth to keep from crying. “I should finish making dinner. You can leave.”

Raph stood silently for an uncomfortable length of time. Then still without turning to face his brother he said, “Mikey, I… I’m s--”

“You have work today,” Mikey whispered harshly with his back turned.

Finally, Raph turned to face him. He crossed the room slowly. “Mikey, I am. I really am--”

“I said leave!” Mikey spun around, his voice hoarse as he threw an empty pot at Raph with tears in his eyes.

Raph blocked the pot with his arm. He blinked back tears as he watched the box turtle return to cooking, ignoring the snapper entirely. Raph choked back tears before quickly leaving the kitchen for his room to get ready for work.

Mikey stood there quietly cooking. After a few minutes he heard Raph’s footsteps return towards and stop at the kitchen doorway for a moment before continuing out the front door. The click of the door closing was like a match setting something off; Mikey broke down in unrestrained tears where he stood. His burned hand clamped over his mouth to stifle his cries. His face was soaked in steam and tears. There were hundreds of thoughts running through his head, almost none of them pleasant.

He put himself into his cooking, though his tears lasted the whole time. He tried to let his mind focus on the food he was preparing; the food that he would eat alone, the food Leo would eat without tasting, the food Raph would eat cold, the food Donnie wouldn’t eat. It felt almost comedic to even cook anything at all.

Mikey disappeared into his kitchen work, letting his culinary skills take control. A cut here, a burn there; all of it accidental he told himself. Eventually he forgot why he was crying.

Mikey knocked on Donnie’s door lightly, waited if he’d respond, then said, “Donnie, I made dinner if you want some.”

No answer.

Mikey swallowed. He gave a halfhearted chortle. “That… that’s fine. You’re probably tired from today. Therapy’s a lot I bet,” he whispered to himself.

He made himself a plate and sat at the table in the half lit kitchen, with the only sound being his cutlery scrapping together. He chuckled, admiring his cooking before breaking down again and dropping his fork to the table with a clatter as he held his face in his hands. Mikey sobbed in the dark kitchen for a while before finding the strength to clean his dishes and put away the rest of the food for later. He cried quietly as he headed to his room, trying his best to not attract Donnie’s attention. Mikey collapsed on his bed, engulfing himself in his pillows and blankets as he rocked himself to sleep

Chapter Text

The music of the club vibrated against Leo’s skin. The hot air filled his lungs, it was scented like sweat from the many bodies that filled the room. His head was pounding, eyes feeling like they were going to pop. He couldn't remember what he'd taken or how much; it made everything around him slow down and simultaneously speed up.

Leo opened his eyes, his lids snapping open almost too quickly. Around him were yokai, their bodies crammed together as they moved around the dim lit room. He took a deep breath and could taste all of it.

The music was a low thunder, its lyrics and tune muffled out by the static in his ears. Leo raised his arms over his head as he moved his body to the vibrations, his hips knocking against the other club goers dancing next to him.

He couldn't quite remember how long he'd be at this club for. April and him had come together; it was the third club they were at that night. By the time they'd gotten here both of them had ingested a multitude of substances. After a while Leo lost track of April; she was probably off dancing, or more, with a yokai. She was human after all, exotic to the underground city’s inhabitants.

A bead of sweat dripped down Leo’s forehead, doing little to cool him off. The heat of the club was excruciating and made worse by the hundreds of yokai breathing around him. The music slowly came back into audibility, the lights of the room suddenly becoming clear. Leo’s mind began to race, the fog lifting, his breath hitched and he groaned before pushing his way through the crowd.

The bartender was a tall yokai; thin, long arms that stretched the bar’s length and a single large, vertical eye that took up his entire face.

Leo leaned against the cool glass top of the bar almost in relief from the heat of the dance floor.  He raised his hand to the bartender: “One Dragon-Spit Sake.”

The bartender’s long arm reach up to a high shelf and took down a large yellow bottle. He sat a small glass on the counter and poured about halfway.

Leo took the shot and as the alcohol touched his tongue he sighed in relief. The music faded away and his mind calmed. He chortled after finishing, feeling his body get sluggish once more. He raised his hand for another drink and got it without wait. That sweet-bitter nectar burned down his throat; no wonder it was called “Dragon-Spit”.

He gasped, leaned his head down on the cool countertop for a moment. His eyes opened slowly and stared at the floor before taking a deep breath and standing back up.

The bartender was saying something, his eyelids flexing as he spoke. Leo couldn't hear his voice but wondered if it was just the drugs or if this guy was actually speaking from his eyeball. The slider chuckled before taking another acidic shot and returning to the dance floor.

Everything was in slow motion but he felt a hundred miles an hour. He couldn't hear the music but his body knew the tune. Leo disappeared in the crowd of yokai, hardly aware of his surroundings.

Hands slipped down Leo’s thighs as a body pressed into him from the back. His eyes remained closed as he pushed back into them, gyrating his hips along. Their face rested against his and Leo could feel their hot breath on his cheek, he moaned.

The hands moved and touched and groped and squeezed Leo’s legs over the turtle’s shorts. He let his jacket slip down his shoulders and felt wet teeth run along his skin. Leo let out a moan that disappeared into the crowd. “Fuck…” The hands rubbed between his legs, exciting his already burning body.

A second pair of hands appeared on his body and only then did Leo open his eyes. In front of him was a female yokai who seemed to be some kind of spider if the eyes and multiple sets of arms were anything to go by. Glancing behind him he caught a glimpse of the yokai grinding against him; a male goat yokai with large horns that curled to the sky.

The spider yokai’s hands danced around Leo’s body as she came close, resting her waist against the slider’s. He cupped Leo’s chin, their breath intertwining before their lips met.

Leo and the female yokai exchanged saliva, his hand resting against the back of her head to pull her closer. He felt one of the goat’s hands leave his thigh and move to the spider’s ass, pulling the three of them tighter together; the spider’s breast squeezing on Leo’s plastron.

Leo could feel everything. The sensation of it all sending lightning through his veins. His body throbbed with passion, memorizing the layout of her mouth.

He moaned as the kiss broke and watched the spider’s face with half lidded eyes. She reached into her pocket, it was now that Leo actually noticed her outfit (or hardly one at all), and took out small tablets. She dropped one into her mouth before kissing Leo again, pushing the pill down his throat. She pulled back and took another this time swallowing it then she raised one up to the goat yokai who sucked on her fingers sensually for a moment.

Leo didn't know what it was he'd just taken, but it wasn't the first drug he'd had that night and was unlikely to be the last.

The three of them continued to dance and grind in the crowd. Leo’s mind began to feel the effects of the mystery drug. For a split moment there was clarity, as if his conscience was fighting back. He wondered what his brothers were doing, something important. Something he forgot, or… something he ignored?

His mind lost the train of thought as the drug hit. His eyes widened and his body felt like needles. He could feel the air fill his lungs, feel his blood flowing in his veins, hear the drum of his ears beating in his head. His body was light, it was heavy, it was underwater, it was in the sky. Leo could feel everything and everyone around him and he exhaled.

He fell backwards onto cushion, plush blankets and pillows holding him. The room was dim but more lit than the dance floor had been. The spider yokai crawled on top of him and began to kiss him again. Leo kissed back with a moan as she squeezed his body and he felt her breasts against him. He reached to touch them, feeling the strange combination of hard exoskeleton and soft flesh. She moaned at his mouth.

The spider straddled him, rocking her hips against his crotch. His cock was painful hard in his shorts and he cried out in pleasure.

Leo felt his legs spread apart and someone sit between them. The rough hands of the goat yokai traced the marks on his thighs making the slider flinch. Whatever that drug was made everything so good, so sensitive.

Without breaking the kiss the spider reached into Leo’s shorts and pulled them open. The air of the bedroom was just as humid as the dance floor. His cock twitched against the spider’s labia as her grinding continued.

Leo heard the sound of a belt clicking at the foot of the bed before his legs were lifted up. His heart raced, his body was burning hot. His breath was picking up and coming out in moans.

The spider lifted herself slightly, aligning herself with Leo’s dick. His head entered her and Leo’s back arched as she took him to the base. She broke the kiss and sat up, leaning back against the goat yokai to exchange lips with him.

Leo looked down the bed to watch them, he smiled, bit his lip. The spider took the goat’s cock in her hand and stroked it before releasing it so the goat could align himself with Leo’s entrance. The slider felt him enter and his back arched again, his eyes rolled back in euphoria.

The spider leaned back down and Leo took one of her breasts in his mouth eliciting a moan from her as he bucked his hips into her as well.

The goat began to thrust and Leo moaned against the sensitive organ in his mouth. He pulled off: “Fuck!” he moaned.

The spider moved in tandem with Leo’s hips as the slider tried to match the goat’s rhythm. The goat leaned down, pushing the spider between the two men. Leo wrapped his arms around the two as all three fucked.

Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just that good, but this felt like the best sex of Leo’s life. He reached a hand to the pillow behind his head, grinding it tightly as he moaned loudly. He pulled the goat's face to him and kissed deeply tasting the drinks on his tongue.

The other two yokai’s screams of pleasure filled the room with the slider’s. The bed shook, the room echoed, the bed practically swallowed the three of them in their pleasure. Everything else faded away, the room became nonexistent, the bed just a stage. And as the three fucked nothing else mattered to Leo.

Leo groaned as he stretched awake. His eyes fluttered open. The room was dark so he couldn't tell quite where he was. Then he heard his phone buzz. He reached off the bed and picked his phone up off the floor. The phone’s light was bright and made his head hurt; he squinted as he turned it down.

He opened his messages and saw three from Raph.

Where are you?

How long are you going to be out? We need to talk.

Leo, answer your phone! Where are you?

Leo groaned. He looked next to him and saw the spider and goat sound asleep in the bed with him; all three naked as the day they were born. Leo rubbed his eyes as he finally sat up. He checked the time on his phone: “1:47am”. He groaned again.

He sat on the edge of the bed and sent April a text: where u at? ,before tossing his phone on the side table and standing. He flinched at the soreness in his legs and core as he searched the room for his clothes.

Once dressed he heard his phone buzz again, checking it he saw a reply from April: up in a hotel somewhere with a guy from last night. how bout u?

Leo replied: something like that. i had two tho. a girl and a guy

April: u greedy bitch~

Leo replied with a silly face and shrugging emoji.

April: we can tell each other about our nights when we meet back up. i even got pics to show

Leo: ooo~ spicy

Leo put his phone away. He looked back at the two yokai still asleep in the bed before limping to the door.

The light outside was dim but hurt his eyes. Leo’s head pounded as he walked sluggishly down the street back toward the club from last night. He spotted April leaning against the wall in the alley next to the building.

April looked up and saw the slider arrive. “Looks like you had a crazy night,” she said, referring to his limp.

Leo leaned against the wall next to her. “Well I had two so I was busy.” He chuckled.

April rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway check out this dude I hooked up with last night.”

Holding up her phone to the turtle April showed a selfie image of April and a yokai at the club. The yokai was twice her height and twice her width. His body was covered in heavy, dark fur that obscured his entire face except his glowing red eyes.

Leo raised a brow as he looked back to her. “That's what you're into?”

April scoffed. “I'm not about to explain my tastes to you. Besides that's not the point, this is.”

She scrolled to another image, this one of the yokai’s crotch and showing his large cock.

Leo’s eyes widened. “Holy shit.”

April nodded with a smile. “Yeah, and that's not even fully hard.”

Leo glanced at April with a shocked expression before turning back to the phone as she scrolled to the next image. This time April was center frame, fully nude as the head of the yokai’s cock penetrated her.

“Did it hurt?” Leo asked.

“A little at first, but you get used to it.”

April scrolled again, this time to a video. She pressed play and the two watched as the yokai pounded the human girl roughly on the bed. April’s squealing moans almost covered the yokai’s deep grunts entirely as the bed below them rocked. The video ended and April scrolled once more, this time an image simply showing the aftermath of her encounter.

“You are a freak of nature,” Leo said.

April put her phone away. “I'm just a girl with a yokai fetish. And it helps that some yokai like a human girl too.”

Leo rolled his eyes playfully. “Whatever.” His phone buzzed. “Ugh. Raph has been blowing me up,” he said, taking his phone from his pocket and watching more messages from his older brother appear.

April peeked at Leo’s phone. “Man, he just doesn't let up does he?” She chuckled.

Leo shook his head. “If he did I’d think he got brainworms or something.”

April snickered. “What's his deal? He's always on your case.”

“I don't know.” Leo shrugged. “He's a control freak; doesn't want me to have my own fun. It's all ‘Donnie, Donnie, Donnie’ now.”

“How is Donnie?”

“He's fine I guess. I think he had therapy today or something.”

“Therapy?” April wondered, “Therapy for what?”

Leo trailed off. “I don't know; stuff. He's weird.”

Leo’s phone buzzed again. “Ugh! I'm this close to blocking his number.”

April took Leo by the shoulders and faced him with a sly grin. “Hey, he can shove it. Don't let him crash our vibe; just ignore him and let's hit another club.”

Leo glanced back at his phone before giving an exhausted sigh. “I'd love to but I can't. It actually hurts me to say this but… Raph is right, I should head home.”

April reeled back in shock. “What?! You agreeing with Raph? Who are you and what did you do with my Leo?” She began to jokingly inspect the slider.

Leo pushed her away playfully. “I know, I know. But I do gotta work tomorrow.”

“No~!” April shouted, reaching into the sky. “Curse you, Hueso!”

“Tell me about it.”

April sighed. “Fine, we'll go home.” A smirk crossed her face. She leaned against Leo’s shoulder and brought her face near his. “How about we at least hit up a liquor store on the way?”

“Mmm, I don't know. I think maybe we've drank enough for tonight--Ack! Oh no!” Leo began to say mockingly as he grabbed his chest. “I can feel it, the sickness! It's taking me, and the only cure is more drinks!” He stumbled playfully before falling into the human's arms. “Remember me after I die.”

April, playing along, replied, “Don't worry, Leonardo! I'll get you to a liquor store!” She began to drag him under his armpits across the sidewalk.

“I forgot to mention a side effect of the sickness is me suddenly getting heavier,” Leo said. He went stiff, causing April to trip and fall over him. The two fell into a pile and began to laugh.

When they got back up they made their way to the closest liquor store and bought a bottle of Leo’s favorite yokai whiskey; they took turns drinking from it as they wobbled to Leo’s apartment.

The whiskey was strong, really strong. That's why Leo liked it after all. They stumbled to the apartment door. April tripped on the stairs and they both laughed; Leo then began to shoosh her and she shushed back. Leo fumbled with his keys before finally managing to open the door where the two tried, and failed, to stifle their laughter as they entered.

April hung her arm around Leo’s shoulder as they wandered into the kitchen. They opened the fridge, found the leftover dinner Mikey had made. They put it in the microwave and waited there in the dark kitchen.

“You two are being loud,” Raph whispered harshly, standing in the kitchen doorway.

Leo and April both jumped.

“Dude, don't fucking do that,” Leo said.

“Sorry, but you two need to shut up. Raph rarely gets time off from work and you guys are keeping Raph from relaxing,” the snapper said.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” Leo slurred.

Raph sighed. “Are you drunk?”

Leo looked at April and they both giggled. “Maybe~” Leo snickered.

Raph rolled his eyes. “Why did I expect anything different?”

Leo shrugged. “I don't know, maybe you're stupid.” The microwave finished and the slider took the leftovers out.

Raph crossed the room and closed the microwave. “Was it stupid of me expecting you to tell me where you were?”

Leo sucked air through his teeth. “A little bit.” He nodded.

“Leo. Where the hell were you?” Raph asked harshly.

“None of your business,” Leo retorted.

“You missed Donnie’s first therapy visit.”

“He’ll have more. It's not a big deal.”

“First impressions are huge deals. Especially for important things like that,” Raph said.

“I'll go to one some other time. Whatever.” Leo rolled his eyes as he took the whiskey bottle from April. Raph snatched the bottle from him before the slider could take a drink. “Hey!”

“This isn't a game, Leo! I need you to take this seriously!”

“I don't need you telling me what to do! You're not my fucking dad!”

“With how childish you act I might as well be!”

Leo glared at Raph. “You get off on this don't you? Being in charge, being in control. You like telling people what to do. Tell me I’m wrong, Raph.” He reached for the bottle but Raph moved it out of reach again.

“You're wrong.”

Leo chuckled. “That didn't sound very convincing.”

“My fist can be very convincing!” Raph raised his arm.

“Woah!” April jumped between them. “Chill out, Raph. You're being so harsh for no reason.”

“You stay out of this,” Raph growled.

“Hey,” Leo cut in, “Don't talk to her like that!”

“No, she needs to mind her business. She's not a part of this,” Raph replied.

“She is right here!” April yelled.

“Why can't you just leave me alone?” Leo asked angrily. He swung for the bottle and missed. “You're always on my fucking ass about everything!”

“Because you don't take anything seriously until I start yelling at you!”

“Just let me live my life! You ruined it already enough!”

“I didn't ruin shit! I moved us here for all of our benefits. And us living here means we are a unit and being a unit means going to your brother’s fucking therapy!”

“So what he missed one time?” April interjected. “It's just one, he can go another day!”

“You are not a part of this!” Raph shouted.

“I said don't fucking yell at her!” Leo pushed Raph.

Raph growled before shoving Leo against the fridge roughly. “You just don't give a fuck do you? You don't give a shit about anyone but yourself! All you fucking do is lay around getting drunk and disappearing for hours at a time. If Dad were still alive he'd be so disappointed.”

Tears burned in Leo’s eyes as he struggled against Raph. He could hardly fight the snapper in his current state. His body was too heavy right now. Maybe Raph was right, maybe Dad would be disappointed. Leo couldn't handle the pressure of being responsible, it was given to him too soon. Forced to move and start working so soon after their father’s passing, Leo just couldn't help giving into certain habits.

Leo bit at the words in his throat; he didn't want to cry but he knew he would if he tried to speak. He kicked at Raph’s legs fruitlessly but the snapper wouldn't budge.

“Get the fuck off him!” April threw herself against Raph. It did little to move the snapper but Raph eventually relented and released his brother. “You're fucking crazy.”

“And you just enabled him. Just let him do what he does without any regard for anything else,” Raph said, staring daggers at April. “I don't want you in this apartment anymore.”

“What?” April and Leo responded together.

“You heard me. Get the hell out. I don't want you here again.”

“Raph, you can't fuck do that!”

“The fuck I can’t!” Raph yelled. “I just did!” He pointed a large finger at the human. “I cant can control what you do with Leo outside of this place, but I'm tired of you egging on his shitty behavior while you're here. You get the fuck out and don't ever step foot in this apartment ever again or I'll call the cops.”

“You can't be serious!” April shouted.

“That's so fucking unfair!” Leo said.

Raph kept his eyes locked on April. He pointed behind him at the front door. “Get the hell out,” he said with a growl.

April swallowed tears, her lips quivered. She opened her mouth to speak but shut it immediately. She clenched her fists and jaw as she stormed past the snapper. “Fuck you!” she shouted before slamming the door behind her.

Leo turned to his brother. “I can't believe you fucking did that! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Raph got in Leo’s face. “I'm tired of your attitude and all she does is make it worse.”

“She's the only fun thing about living in this goddamn city! Ever since we moved here my life has been shit and at least with her I can actually pretend it's less shitty!”

“Maybe if you actually tried being an adult for once your life wouldn't be like that,” Raph said.

“Yeah? How's that working out for you, Mr. ‘Working a hundred jobs at 18’?”

Raph grimaced at Leo, his lips pulling into a thin line as the words carried over in his mind. The snapper didn't have a ready response so instead defaulted to anger.

Leo chuffed. “That's what I thought.” He finally swiped his bottle back from Raph before walking past him.

“Where do you think you're going?”

“I have work tomorrow. Unlike you.” Leo wiped his eyes as he left the kitchen, not waiting to hear a response and not wanting his older brother to see his tears.

He turned the corner to head to his room, stopping upon seeing Donnie standing outside his door.

Leo blinked slowly. “Hey.” He took a drink of whiskey.

Donnie gave a pitiful wave then looked away.

“Why're you up?”

Donnie moved back slightly. “I… heard yelling.”

Leo took another drink. “Raph is being an asshole.”

“I'm sorry,” Donnie whispered.

After another long swig of his drink Leo replied: “Yeah.” Then walked past the softshell and continued to his own room. Leo slammed the door behind him before flopping onto his bed.

The bed felt so cozy to his alcohol and drug filled body, the blankets wrapped around him. He took a finishing drink from his bottle before dropping it weakly to the floor as he passed out.