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"Am I even human?" Dean wants to sound angry - he wants to sound furious - but his words come out as broken as he feels inside.
Cas says nothing for such a long time that Dean nearly tells him to just go, but before he can spit the words out, Cas stiffly climbs up next to him and joins him on Baby's hood.
All the fight deflates out of Dean in an instant.
A Fallen Angel and an Angel's Sword sit side by side on a car in the middle of the night. It sounds like the worst set up to an even worse punchline.
The night is silent except for the occasional chirping of bugs, and the sky stretches above them, dotted with scattered stars in a cloudless expanse of dark blue.
"Guess I've got more in common with you than I have with either of them..." Dean says bitterly, gesturing back at Bobby's house.
Cas clasps his hands neatly over his knees and sighs. "Dean, do you know why the Michael Sword is so powerful?"
"I dunno, 'cause I'm awesome?"
Cas throws him such a flat look that Dean can't help the tiny smile it brings out him. It fades quickly.
Cas jabs him in the shoulder - the same shoulder the handprint is on - and it lances a jolt of something electric down his spine.
"Wh- hey!" Dean swats Cas's finger away and rubs at his shoulder, hoping Cas won't notice the red blooming on his face in the dark.
"Listen to me, Dean. The Michael Sword is so strong because it's powered by a human soul - it's own human soul - yours. You have flesh and blood. You have thoughts and feelings. You are human."
Dean feels the full intensity of Cas's gaze as it's directed at him, and he is powerless to turn away. He's caught by blue eyes and an earnestness he's never seen in Cas's expression before.
"You're stubborn, you're defensive, impulsive, brave, selfless- you're the most human person I know," Cas adds, something catching in his usually stoic voice.
Dean huffs out a startled laugh. "The most human person you know..." he repeats, amusement and affection spreading like warmth through his whole body. He clears his throat. "Thanks, Cas."
"Besides," Cas rumbles, a note of pride slipping in, "I rebuilt your entire body myself, so I know for a fact that it is chemically and biologically identical to a regular human body."
Dean loudly snorts another laugh. "See, now you've just made it weird."
Cas reaches over and gently holds Dean's hand, palm up, in his own. The move is so unexpected that Dean's brain appears to go immediately offline and all he can do is suck in a quiet breath.
Cas moves his fingers gently, one by one, and presses onto the pads of his fingertips, while Dean can hear his own heartbeat between his ears.
"Uh-" Dean finally manages. Great. Nice. Useful.
"It may be difficult to understand, but you are as much this man of flesh and blood as you are Angelic steel," Cas says gently. His fingers continue to press across Dean's hand, as if now he's started he can't stop. "I've noticed that you are a very tactile person, and you respond well to touch. I'm attempting to ground you in this moment. Is it working?"
Dean wants to immediately deny it and snatch his hand back, but he pushes down the reflex and watches Cas trace the lines across his calloused palm. He takes a deep breath. "Yeah."
Cas doesn't let go and Dean doesn't pull away.
When the experience starts to feel too much Dean weaves their fingers together and looks up at the stars, knowing Cas will be able to feel how sweaty his palm is, and can probably hear the way his heart is slamming against his ribcage.
"Am I at least cool looking, as a sword?" Dean eventually asks, breaking the silence. He turns back to Cas and throws him a small grin.
Cas's eyes roam across his face, almost seeming to bore into him like he can see beneath his flesh. Maybe he can.
"Yes, Dean," Cas replies, the ghost of a smile twitching at the corner of his lips, "you always look 'cool'."
