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There is something peaceful about being immersed in flowers. Of the warm summer breeze spreading the not-quite rose scent around the small meadow. Of breathing in the silence and watching the clouds drift across the clear blue sky. Of soaking in the sunlight and feeling it warm you from the outside in.
For the first time in a long time, Kagome is alone. No Jaken making mountains out of molehills, no ladies in waiting tittering behind their fans. No political games to be played just so. No males waffling between desiring her power and hating her humanity. Just flowers and sunshine and a bright blue sky.
Kagome lays in the center of the meadow and lets the peace and quiet wash over and through her. Relaxing bit by bit she sinks deeper into the tall grasses. Hair fanning out around her head she lets herself drift in the moment. Just for a moment. She could forget why she was there; letting the false serenity lull her into its sweet embrace.
Something within her chest unwinds and at once she goes limp. Reiki leaches from her skin, spooling into the queen of the prairie flowers and tilting their blooms towards her as if she were their sun. Pink petals brush her cheeks and stick. Wiping it away she rubs her damp fingers together. Reaching for a new flower she plucks it. Channeling enough reiki into its stem to make it glow faintly, she brings it to her chest and breathes it in.
Twenty years.
Her heart skips. Reiki lashes out freezing the plants around her in place, scorching the earth beneath her until she lays not on grass and bent stems but directly on the dirt. Her heartbeat goes on natural rhythm returning. New shoots of grass puncture the dirt; growing in so thickly it almost feels like a carpet.
Twenty years ago today her fourth daughter was born. A small, beautiful baby. The spitting image of Kagome. From the raven's wing black hair to the same ocean blue eyes. It was as if the God’s had copied/pasted her. She was perfect, she was everything her parents wished her to be. Healthy and powerful, She would have been a true treasure to the Western Lands, should have been.
Nyoko was born at the tail end of spring during the first thunderstorm of the season, and while her father and eldest siblings had been finishing a war. Her labour had been quick, delivery even quicker. After nine months Nyoko had been eager to see the world, within five minutes of beginning to push she was in her mothers arms.
Kagome had given birth alone with only the assistance of her younger daughters Bashira and Mai, who were too young for war and unimpressed by staying home. While Bashira took after her father, silver hair, golden eyes, and one dark blue marking on each cheek, She had her mothers disposition. Mai on the other hand took after Kagome with dark brown hair, no markings and blue eyes, she had her father’s personality.
Bashira caught the baby and Mai cut the cord. Kagome held her newborn and cuddled with her daughters all night. Permitting no one into the room until midmorning the next day. She traced the rounded edge of her newborn's ear as she nursed and cursed herself for not seeing this moment coming.
The Shiro had been alight with excitement when the Lady started her labours, many whispered their guesses on the pups gender, on whether it would be an Inu like Sesshomaru and Bashira, or a Kitsune like Shippo and Mai, or perhaps a mix of the two. Lady Kagome was known to take the form of a Kitsune on occasion, despite her human appearance afterall.
The excitement died down immediately after Nyoko was seen by Kagome’s ladies. A human child born to the Taiyoukai and the Shikon Miko, not even a half demon like Inuyasha, but a human and a miko at that.
Kagome had known that something was brewing. She could feel the change within the Shiro, the anger that spread like miasma through the halls. So she made the only choice she could and sat Mai on Kuroro’s back, kissed her second youngest daughter goodbye and sent her to the one place she knew Mai would be safe. Right to Sesshomaru. Bashira had staunchly refused to leave her mother’s side and Kagome couldn’t trust her to actually go if pressed. They watched Mai vanish into the distance together.
Accusations started pouring in that evening. Of course the human bitch cheated on their Lord. There was no possible way Sesshomaru could sire a human welp. Lady Kagome was a whore. Lady Kagome was unfaithful. Lady Kagome didn’t deserve the title or prestige. The human’s were a blight on their Lord’s honor and his house and they were going to wipe it out.
Blinking up at the stars, eyes burning, Kagome took a shuddery breath. The mating mark on her shoulder warms slightly as Sesshomaru sends feelings of love through it. Rolling onto her side, she cups her hand over the mark. Unwilling to send anything back. One by one the magenta stars of her children's marks light up with warmth until only one star remains cool.
The cruelty of magic, of mating, could never be lost upon her. She wore the reminder. A mark of love and hope and remembrance. Her mating mark, and pack bonds. A blue crescent moon immersed in clouds that drift across her skin in a magical loop, and beautiful magenta stars, one for each child; connecting them as pack, as family. Love branded onto her skin, her soul. Once beautiful but now, now it was a bitter reminder. Biting into her without teeth and yet she bleeds all the same.
Tears flowing freely now. She can still hear the echoing silence of her failure. Arms empty, chest heaving. One by one the glow recedes from the flowers, her reiki dissipating until only the moon and stars cast their light upon her. The breeze from earlier turns biting. Kagome remains.
Bashira, in her dog form, crawls through the flowers and to Kagome's side. Pressing her nose to her mother’s hip she whines softly. Sobbing a wet laugh, Kagome cards her fingers through her daughter's snowy fur. Like this, Bashira is the same size as Kagome, despite being the height of a five year old in her humanoid form, the hellhound, the true form of the Inu’s is colossal.
Shippo cozies up to her next, his dark red fur a stark contrast to Bashira’s. They too were the same size even though Shippo is several years older. Kitsune’s won't ever get as large as the inu’s.
Rin was next. Her pitch black pelt blending into the night, giving credit to her title Shadow of the West . The Crescent moon upon her brow deepenes in color when she shifts; blending neatly with the rest of her coat. She’s half the size of Sesshomaru and can’t curl directly up with Kagome, instead she lays down as close to them as she can.
Inuyasha, in his true form, is just as snowy white as Bashira and Sesshomaru, but he is similar in size to Rin and has pointed ears instead of floppy ones. His markings stand stark against his face, the same wavy shape as his fathers but purple where Toga’s were blue. He wiggles until he’s half draped over Rin.
Sesshomaru, Mai, and Kaito come next. Kaito, just learning how to transform, being carried in by his father. His coat is a dark smokey grey, a perfect mix between Kagome’s black kitsune and Sesshomaru’s white coats. He’s a full Inu, and her youngest at only three human years old.
Kaito squirms out of his fathers grip and runs right to Kagome. Burrowing his nose into her neck he curls up partially on top of her. Kagome wraps one arm around him. He licks her cheek and whines deep in his throat.
Mai, while older than Kaito, is smaller than him and even smaller than Shippo. Mai’s dark fur is only a shade lighter than Kagome’s kitsune form, and like Shippo, she’ll never be anywhere near as big as the Inu’s. Mai drapes herself over Shippo’s back and rests her head on top of his. He wrinkles his nose at her but thumps his tails against the ground twice in welcome. A kitsune tower. Kagome smiles wetly at the sight.
Sesshomaru settles down along her side, his giant head resting just above her own; each exhale tousling her hair. Mai and Shippo curl up tighter so he can get even closer to them. Bracketed between Rin and Sesshomaru the pack relaxes by degrees. They’re a giant puppy pile in the dark. Heat radiates off the demons and chases away the chill of the night.
Kagome knew they would come. They do so every year. She gets the day alone in the meadow to grieve, to remember, but they always filter in once night falls. Letting her have the day to herself pains them, but Kagome can’t sit with them in their grief while her failure stalks her and her regrets paint her waking moments in scarlet. This day is the only one she dedicates to her grief, every other day she pushes onward and tries to heal to find threads of happiness. But Nyoko’s birthday is a day of grieving.
Sesshomaru, Rin, Shippo, and Inuyasha hadn’t been able to meet Nyoko at all. Only returning to the chaos Kagome and Bashira had wrought after Nyoko’s death. Every single demon in the Shiro was dead, save for Bashira.
Kagome places her hand in the human-shaped empty spot beside her, the one they leave for Nyoko, and howls for her daughter. One by one, the pack howls with her.