Chapter Text
Colin stretched out in his position where he laid across an expensive, perfectly cushioned lounge chair. The calm water of the pool at his feet sparkled in the late July sun. It really was good to be back at Aubrey Hall.
The family didn’t know he was coming and per Benedict, they’d gone into town for brunch at a trendy new restaurant Hyacinth begged everyone to try. Anthony, of course, managed to get them a reservation for their ridiculously large party at the last minute.
The sound of cars pulling up to the driveway around the other side of the house and a chorus of voices layering on top of one another reached Colin’s ears. Some footsteps made their way into the house, but many seemed to move around the edge of the property towards where he was hiding out at the pool.
“Bloody hell. When did you get in?” Anthony called out, followed by chants of his name and murmurs of surprise.
“No way! I thought you couldn’t make it?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“You look great! So tan, always.”
Colin smiled as he greeted his family, pleased that his surprise visit ultimately paid off. He’d spent the last month in Croatia.
“The Mediterranean is fucking hot this time of year. Seemed as good a time as any to make it back to England.”
“Ah yes, the weather. As reasonable an excuse as any to come see your family.” Anthony rolled his eyes as he settled on the lounge chair next to him.
“Daphne’s inside putting the baby down, but I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you.” Kate smiled as she pulled her crochet cover up dress off and sat at the edge of the pool dangling her feet in the water and cradling her baby bump. “Fuck, it really is a hot one.”
“You’re telling me,” Eloise called as she padded up towards them from the house. “I’d have jumped straight in if someone didn’t make a big stink about needing her suncream.”
“You know I burn!” another familiar voice piped in from where they were making their way down the patio.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Eloise rolled her eyes as she spotted her third oldest brother, leaning over to hug him. “When did you get here?”
He stood up to greet her. “Just now. Nice to see you too, El.” He smacked her arm playfully as she stuck her tongue out at him.
Penelope smiled from behind them as she took him in. “Tan, smiling, lying at the pool waiting for everyone to fall at his feet…”
Colin clutched his chest in faux outrage. “I’m wounded, Pen.”
“Gosh, men are so sensitive, aren’t they?” she smirked at him. Her red ringlets shone brighter under the strong rays of the sun. Her cover up dress was short, barely making it mid way down her pale thighs.
Colin chuckled and reached out to grab her, pulling her into a hug. “Missed you,” he murmured into her hair as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Yeah, yeah. You too.”
–
A day at the pool with his entire family was exactly what Colin needed to start feeling like himself again. The last six months of his travels have been harder than he was used to. Normally, he loved being away and meeting new people, seeing new places. After Christmas, he started to feel uneasy. He came home for a quick weekend in January, but everyone in the family was too busy to spend time with him. Spouses, families, jobs, commitments. The only person who managed to make time for him was Penelope.
He took her to brunch. They talked and laughed, sitting there for hours until they were asked to give their table up, followed by an absolutely freezing walk in the park and an emergency hot chocolate run before hunkering down at her flat for a few more hours. He’d promised his mum he’d have dinner with her, so he left eventually, but was grateful all the same. Without even realizing it, bit by bit over the years, Penelope had become his best friend. He knew it in his gut, but was too nervous to admit it, especially not while Eloise was in earshot. He wasn’t looking for a fight.
Everything since then felt somewhat off kilter and he didn’t understand why. Not truly. Suddenly, a week at Aubrey Hall for a relaxing summer holiday was exactly what he needed.
It wasn’t long before practically everybody made their way into the pool to escape the heat. The irony of England was knowing how cool it would get at night, but for now, the sun licked at the backs of their necks. Colin listened intently as Hyacinth and Gregory regaled him of tales from their last few months of school. Greg was off to start at Cambridge in the fall.
He watched as Benedict brought a batch of frozen margaritas over, offering one to Eloise and Penelope each. He lingered a moment too long glancing at Penelope’s chest, in Colin’s opinion. Colin wasn’t exactly immune to Penelope’s allure when she pulled off her cover up to get in the pool a little while before, but he had the decency to keep his gaze down, lest he make her uncomfortable. He was only human, after all, and she probably had the best breasts in this hemisphere. Besides, she was the one with the audacity to wear a bikini.
Several hours later, as the sun began to crest closer to the treeline, the party moved its way inside where most took the opportunity to shower and change. Benedict gathered up food from the fridge, bringing it outside to the grill. Colin helped him carry it out and smacked him upside the head when they set everything down.
“Oi!”
“You know what that’s for.”
Benedict rolled his eyes and began throwing burgers and sausages on the grill.
A family barbecue after a long day in the pool is easily the most at peace Colin has been in months. The food was delicious and his mum managed to go the entire day without giving him a hard time about how little she sees him. At one point, it seemed like she opened her mouth to say something, but Francesca placed a hand on her forearm, and she settled back down. Colin offered his sister a grateful smile.
The pink and orange swirls of the sunset gave way to an inky black sky, the stars poking through like little holes in the sheet of night above them. Most of the siblings managed to fit around the small fire pit warming the cool night air. Colin’s entire body relaxed as he sipped on a cold beer, enjoying the ebbs and flows of sibling squabbles surrounding him.
“Truth or dare is childish, we’re not playing it,” Anthony issued as a warning, sipping on his beer.
“You’re a bore,” Benedict offered. “Live a little.”
“Oh come on, isn’t that a little cliche?” Francesca chimed in.
“Whatever happened to good old fashioned talking?” Eloise prompted. “When did that go out of style?”
“Games are fun,” Hyacinth insisted. “You guys don’t always have to be so… old.”
“Some of us are old, Hy,” Colin grinned.
“Pfftt, you’re twenty eight, cry me a river.”
“I’m confused, are you arguing that he is old or isn’t?” Eloise asked.
“Either way, I sleep soundly knowing that he’ll always be ten years older than me,” Gregory said.
Colin rolled his eyes and kept his mouth shut, deciding to remove himself from the line of fire by not engaging. The bickering droned on and on, landing on no truth or dare, per Anthony.
“Oh relax, those games are only designed to get people to talk about their sex lives, and considering we’re all siblings, I doubt many of us want to hear that about each other,” Benedict said, handing Colin another beer.
There were a few laughs and murmurs of agreement. Eloise, of course, launched herself into a sex positivity tangent. Colin took the opportunity of her distraction to chance a glance in Penelope’s direction. She fiddled with the hem of her hoodie, looking down at her lap, ignoring the drink in her hand. Colin felt the urge to reach over and ask what was wrong, but didn’t want to deal with the questions he’d get from the others.
Anthony chugged the remainder of his beer, and excused himself, muttering something about preferring to be in bed with his pregnant wife than with his whining siblings, and bade the group goodnight.
Daphne balanced the baby monitor on the edge of her chair, watching Eloise continue on her tirade. “That’s all well and good, El, but not everyone wants to go shouting on about their sex lives.”
“Well of course not. But the whole bloody point is that everyone should be able to talk about or not talk about whatever they want.”
“I can’t see myself wanting to talk much about mine,” Francesca jumped in. “It just seems like one of those things that you do and you keep between you and your partner. Is that crazy?”
“No, it’s sweet! I’m the same,” Daphne added, squeezing Simon’s hand.
“Sure, but–”
Eloise was cut off by Colin. “I beg of you, please don’t keep pushing this. I assure you, I don't want to hear about any of my sisters’ sex lives.”
“Oh, I see. So the issue you take here is that I’m your sister, but not the idea of talking openly about sex in general? So you wouldn’t be terribly offended if Penelope for example started blathering on about her sex life?”
Penelope’s posture went rigid in her seat at the mention of her name.
“W-what?” Colin asked, his mouth half hanging open around the lip of his beer bottle.
“Eloise–” Penelope squeaked.
“I’m not saying you have to, Pen. Just suggesting, if you were to talk about a recent sexual encounter of yours, that wouldn’t be a problem for anyone who actually does encourage sex positive conversations, no? That is, if that person isn’t related to you.”
“I’m not gonna–”
“Pen doesn’t want to talk about that,” Colin jumped in. “You know you’re being a brat on purpose and putting her on the spot.”
“I’m making a point!”
“Yeah, at Penelope’s expense.” Colin stared her down.
Eloise sank back in her chair. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to do that. I think I’ve maybe had a bit too much to drink.” She placed her cup down on the ground next to her and offered an apologetic smile to her redheaded friend.
“S’fine,” Penelope shook her head. “Let’s just move on.”
And move on they did. Everyone pummeled Gregory with dating tips and potential pick up lines to use when he got to uni. Daphne and Simon made it barely another ten minutes before they dragged their way up to bed. Benedict and Gregory poked around at the fire, trying to see if they could make the flames billow at each other, causing the other to choke on the smoke. Hyacinth and Francesca made their way back inside as well, ready to call it a night.
As their ranks dwindled and Colin found himself on his fourth or fifth beer, he noticed Eloise and Penelope’s body language. They were normally huddled together, speaking a million miles a minute and giggling with one another, but they were both facing forward and not sharing a conversation. Colin stood up and moved into Francesca’s recently vacated chair next to Penelope.
“Christ, just apologize,” he said, eyeing his sister.
“I did!” Eloise looked at her hands and then rubbed her eyes. “Fuck. It was shitty. I got swept up… I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable, honestly.”
Penelope shook her head. “It’s fine.” Her tone sounded anything but fine. “Can we just forget it?”
Eloise bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah. Totally.”
Colin watched them sit in awkward silence another moment.
“I’m gonna head up to bed, actually. Maybe a little sleep will do me some good.” Eloise stood and made her way back up the deck as they bade her a stilted goodnight.
Penelope avoided Colin’s gaze and took another sip from her drink. “Stop staring.”
Shit. He hadn’t even realized he had been. He looked over at where Benedict and Gregory had been moments before, but they’d grabbed their beers and gone to sit with their feet dangling in the pool. It was just him and Pen now, the familiar country breeze swaying around them.
“You good?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Fine. She knows I hate that shit. It’s whatever. You know how she is with her tangents.”
“Yeah, she’s like a dog with a bone, that one.”
They sat in a silence that was neither fully comfortable or uncomfortable for a few moments. They just existed.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“What?” She snapped to look at him.
“I mean, she was being annoying, but I dunno. You seemed extra irritated and that’s not really like you.”
She huffed out a tight breath. “It’s fine, Colin. I just don’t wanna talk about that kind of stuff.”
“Sex, you mean?” He gulped. Suddenly saying it out loud in front of her felt odd.
Her cheeks turned red. “Can we not?”
“Not what?”
“You know I don’t wanna talk about this.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m actually just asking you to talk about why you don’t want to talk about it.”
She stared at him quizzically. “What?”
He laughed momentarily at how wildly off track their conversation had gotten. He leaned forward resting his forearms on his knees. “I’m not making sense, am I?”
Even though he was buzzed, he managed to catch Penelope trying to hide a smile. She was amused.
“Look, it’s not that complicated. She knows I don’t like to talk about this kind of thing. And yet she brought it up in front of everyone.”
“Really?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “I mean, it’s one thing to not want your private shit discussed around a family bonfire, but do you really mean to tell me that you don’t even talk about sex with your best friend when it’s just the two of you?”
“Colin–” she warned, shooting him a look.
He backtracked and put his hands up defensively. “Sorry. I’m not pushing. I swear.”
Penelope rolled her eyes and sipped at her drink, staring into the flames of the bonfire as they slowly died down.
“You know you can talk to me though, right?” he offered. She looked up at him, her blue eyes appearing much darker in the nighttime with their only source of light fading away. “I’m not Eloise. I’m a good listener. And you and I are… friends. Good friends.”
She studied him carefully, her eyes sharpening. “What is it exactly that you want me to say? You want me to give you the bloody play by play of my last great shag? Vivid details of how I like to get eaten out or the different positions we tried when we fucked? What? What other intrusive details do you want to hear that are so damn important?”
“Pen,” he gasped at her sudden vulgarity. “That’s not– I didn’t–”
“No, you didn’t.”
The last of the flames completely died down, sputtering into sparks that dissipated into the air. The darkness engulfed them, only the glow from the pool a ways behind them giving off any light.
“I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m worse than Eloise.”
Penelope let out a low chuckle. “At least you had the decency to do it when no one else was around.”
“I shouldn’t have, though.”
They stared at each other through the darkness. Penelope laughed. “It’s all bullshit anyway.”
“What?”
“Everything I said. It was just to get a rise out of you. There’s no guy, there’s no shagging. El thinks I purposely don’t tell her things, but the reality is, I have nothing to tell.”
Colin gazed at her sympathetically. “I’m sure that’s not true. Even if it’s been a while–”
“No, it hasn’t just been a while. It hasn’t been anything. Ever.” Her voice sounded shaky as she spoke.
Colin stayed quiet for a moment, absorbing her words. She couldn’t possibly be saying what he thought she was.
“But you’re–”
“Twenty four? Yeah, I know. Pathetic age to still be a virgin, right?”
Even as she said the word out loud, it didn’t ring true as it hit his ears. How could Penelope still be a virgin?
“That’s not what I was gonna say. At all.” He tried to convey his earnestness in his tone.
She stared at him, not flinching, holding her own.
“I was gonna say… you’re beautiful. And incredible. Sweet, funny, charming. I guess I just– I dunno. I find it hard to believe that this particular combination has led to you not having had…”
“Sex,” she finished for him. “I haven’t had sex.”
“Is there a reason? Like, did you not want to? Or are you–” Colin didn’t finish his thought as he was cut off by the sound of Penelope’s laughter.
“Of course I want to.” She sighed wistfully. “It’s different for me, Colin. I’m not a tall, thin, perfect looking Bridgerton. Dating has never been easy, and it’s just gotten harder as I’ve gotten older. The last few guys I even attempted to go on more than one date with freaked out when they found out I was a virgin and it didn’t go past kissing.”
“Pen–”
“And I’m past the age where you can just get it over with. I missed my chance in uni and now–”
“You shouldn’t have to just get it over with. There’s nothing wrong with–”
“Oh, please. Spare me. I saw the horrified look on your face just now when I admitted the truth. I know what people think about virgins, especially older ones. Everyone pities me. You can understand now why I don’t particularly love talking about it.”
“Will you just stop for a second?” He reached out to grab her by the shoulders, squeezing to ground her and stop her from continuing her spiral. She looked off somewhere over his shoulder, but managed to take a couple of steadying breaths.
“First of all,” he began. “I was not horrified. Just… surprised.”
She managed to bring her gaze to meet his eyes at his calming reassurance. He continued.
“Second of all, there really is nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you haven’t had the right opportunity or met the right person, that’s okay.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s easy for you to say, you’re probably having casual sex on every continent without a second thought. You don’t even have to try.”
Colin recoiled at her wild mischaracterization of his sex life. She must have noticed.
“Shit. Sorry,” she murmured. “I hate when people assume stuff about me. I– I shouldn’t be assuming what you’re–”
“It’s fine, I guess I deserved that. But you’re totally off base, for what it’s worth. I’m not saying I’ve never done it, but casual sex really doesn’t work for me.”
“Why not?” She furrowed her brow.
He dropped his hands from her shoulders, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the spotlight being directed at him instead.
“Not sure I can explain it. I guess it’s just– you have to be really vulnerable to be intimate with someone. And to do that with strangers… yeah. It’s hard.”
Penelope chuckled. “You can understand my dilemma, then. Vulnerability with a side of virginity stigma, the perfect recipe for celibacy.”
Colin couldn’t help but laugh with her for a moment, easing the tension from his shoulders. They both sat in silence for a little while longer.
Colin laughed again and shook his head.
“What?” she asked, perplexed by his behavior.
“It’s just… are men okay?”
Penelope let out a huff. “What?” she repeated.
“I mean, clearly not. You’re saying that more than a fair few have had a shot to have sex with you and passed it up? Christ, men really are so fucking stupid.”
Penelope couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction. “Funny.”
Colin raised his eyebrows. “I’m dead serious, Pen. They’re idiots if they didn’t wanna sleep with you.”
“I don’t think you can classify every man who doesn’t want to sleep with me as an idiot, Colin. I’m around them all the time and it turns out, I’m not exactly everyone’s cup of tea.”
“That’s true, some men are gay.”
“You’re barking! There’s quite a few straight men in this house at this very moment and I don’t recall anyone displaying even the slightest amount of attraction towards me.”
“Well, Anthony and Simon are married.”
“Fine, the single ones.”
“If you think Greg wouldn’t sell his left nut to sleep with you, you’re mad. And Benedict spent the entire day ogling your tits, so I’d argue he’d gladly have a go too if the opportunity presented itself.”
Penelope gawked at him, her mouth hanging open. He’d officially rendered her speechless.
“Besides, I’d sleep with you in a heartbeat if I thought you wanted to.”
Penelope looked like she was choking on air, no words coming out of her mouth as her face contorted in confusion. She swallowed and finally spoke. “N-no you wouldn’t.”
Colin couldn’t fully understand where his boldness was coming from. Penelope had been incredibly vulnerable with him tonight, letting him in on a secret she hadn’t even shared with Eloise.
“Yes. I would.” He stared directly at her, not making another motion.
“Maybe in theory,” her voice was quiet. “But still, most men don’t want to have sex with virgins.”
His eyes bore into hers.
“I’m not most men.”
They stared one another down for a few moments, the air around them becoming more charged by the second. Penelope cleared her throat and started picking up cups from the chairs around them. “It’s getting late…”
Colin rose and helped her clean up, following her inside to drop a few glasses in the sink and dispose of the plastic cups. They stood in the dim light of the kitchen avoiding eye contact.
“Um, I should get to bed. I’ll see you–”
“Pen. I meant it.”
She spun around to face him, sliding on the tile floor in her socks.
“I would,” he repeated. “If you wanted, that is. I really would.”
Penelope began breathing heavily as she studied his face, likely looking for cues that would give him away. Colin held steady with his offer.
“We’re friends,” she said quietly, her voice trembling.
He nodded. “We are. And we still would be. It only has to be once.”
She watched him, her chest rising and falling rapidly. He could see the outline of her breasts through her hoodie. It was warmer inside though, she probably didn’t need it anymore. He suddenly wondered what she had on underneath it.
Before he lost his nerve, he offered one last opportunity, another moment of boldness he typically didn’t display.
“I’m going to my room now. I’ll leave the door unlocked though.” He saw her breath hitch as he said it. It took every ounce of control in his facial muscles to not smile at her reaction. Smugness wouldn’t do well for him, right now. He strode past her and disappeared up the stairs.
–
Penelope stood alone in the kitchen trying not to hyperventilate. Colin just propositioned her for sex. And she was seriously considering it. Her body temperature spiked. She looked around the empty room and pulled her hoodie over her head, leaving it draped over a barstool.
Over the last few years, especially since she turned 20, she spent way too much time thinking about her virginity. She wasn’t sure why that age hit her so hard. Maybe the idea of still being a virgin when she was no longer a teen made her feel increasingly left behind. Dating became more challenging. This final hurdle to get past always seemed to stop her in her tracks. At the end of the day, she never wanted to sleep with any of those guys she went out with anyway. They were all playing for second.
It had always been Colin. He was always the one she wanted but couldn’t have. And now, even if it wasn’t in the way she dreamed, he wanted her too. In some way, shape or form. Penelope knew the longer she stood in the kitchen overanalyzing everything, the more likely she would be able to talk herself out of doing the thing she wanted to do. She wanted to lose her virginity to Colin.
She pulled her socks off and balled them up, tucking them into the pocket of her abandoned hoodie. On bare feet, she made her way up the stairs and turned left, heading down the hall for Colin’s room.
Penelope didn’t knock. She knew he didn’t want her to. She pushed the door open. Colin looked up from where he had been plugging his phone in at his nightstand. He set it down and smiled at her, his eyes significantly darker than she was used to.
“Are we doing this?” he asked. His tone wasn’t teasing or flirtatious. It was honest. She closed the door behind her as she stepped inside, several feet between them still.
“I don’t wanna have any regrets,” she admitted. The only light in the room came from the small lamp at Colin’s bedside. She couldn’t really make out the emotion that flitted across his face from this far across the room.
“You think you’ll regret losing your virginity to me?”
Summoning up as much courage as the moment called for, Penelope took a few steps forward.
“No. I’m worried that I won’t.”
Colin reached out for her. She saw him coming and still didn’t believe it when he placed his hands on her waist. She looked up at him, her light blue eyes shining in disbelief. His thumbs dug into her sides, massaging in soft circles.
“Kiss me, Pen.”
For a brief moment, she continued to stare at him. A few strands of chestnut hair spiraled down across his forehead as he watched her. She reached up to brush it back, her hand threading through his locks, nails scratching slightly across his scalp before her fingers ended up wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to meet her. She pressed her lips to his while taking in a deep breath, breathing in the very essence of Colin. If tonight was all she would ever have of him, she’d let herself take what she wanted as long as he was willing.
The second their lips touched, she felt a spark zing through her body. She’d kissed a fair amount of boys before. This part was familiar to her. And yet, everything about kissing Colin Bridgerton felt like she was starting over. Learning how to move her lips and where to place her hands. Learning how to be in her own body and accept the part of himself that he was giving her.
She grasped his shoulder when she felt his tongue slide along the seam of her lips, his hand on her waist pulling her body into his. Her back arched as she acquiesced, whimpering slightly as their tongues met. Colin’s movements were slow and deliberate. His hand came up to cradle her jaw, his thumb tracing lightly as he groaned into her mouth. God , this was a good kiss.
Penelope broke away, struggling to continue pressing up on her toes. As she lowered to her feet, his lips followed her, pressing kisses along her chin and jaw until he reached her ear. His tongue darted out to taste the skin just below, and then he whispered, sending a shiver down her spine.
“That was really good.” He tugged on her earlobe. She bit down on her lip to prevent the moan trying to break free. The idea that not only had Colin kissed her, but enjoyed himself, was simply blowing her mind.
“Sorry,” she started. “I’m too short, I couldn’t keep standing on my toes.”
He laughed against her skin as he trailed kisses down her neck, his tongue licking at the sensitive spot there. She closed her eyes and got lost in the sensation briefly before he pulled away.
“C’mere,” he said, grabbing her hand and tugging her to follow him. He sat on the edge of the bed, spreading his thighs slightly so that she could stand in between them. “Better?” He ran his hand through her hair, his eyes fixed on her face. She melted under his gaze and nodded.
Colin gripped her chin and pulled her face down to meet his in another searing kiss. It didn’t seem possible that this one could be better than the last, but it was. He consumed her. His hands ran up and down her back, pulling her body into his, causing her to wrap her arms around his shoulders completely. Penelope’s heart was beating out of her chest. They snogged senselessly for a few more moments, before Colin pulled back.
“Do you wanna keep going?” His breath danced across her lips as he spoke.
Penelope swallowed and nodded, her body tensing underneath his fingertips. He must have felt it.
“It’s ok if you don’t–”
“No, I do. I’m just… nervous.”
He offered her a soft smile. One she’d seen millions of times before. She had it etched in the back of her brain. “It’s okay, that’s really normal. We can go slow.”
She bit her bottom lip and stared at him, his lips were red and swollen, his hair disheveled. “Promise me one thing.”
He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting patiently for her to continue.
“Don’t do that thing where you keep asking if I’m sure. I’m sure, Colin. And if I want you to stop, I’ll tell you. But I really don’t want you to stop.”
Chuckling, he squeezed at her waist where he was holding her. “Okay. Promise.”
“What now?” she asked.
Colin exhaled slowly as he examined her. “Now, we take off our clothes.” His fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt as he spoke. Her throat ran dry.
“R-right.”
His eyes stayed on hers as he moved his hands to his own shirt and pulled it from this torso. Even as he sat on the edge of the bed still, partially folded over, she could see every muscle in his body. Was he flexing?
She raised her eyebrows. He smirked momentarily, trying to hide it.
“Smooth,” she giggled, trailing a finger across his trapezius, leaving a ripple of goosebumps along his tanned skin.
“May I?” he asked, gripping the hem of her T-shirt.
Penelope took a deep breath, not breaking eye contact with him. She wanted this. She wanted to not shy away from it, to just live in the moment and take the thing being offered to her, the thing she’s wanted for as long as she could remember. Offering the slightest nod, she raised her arms in the air as he pulled the garment off of her body, leaving her standing in a black bralette. He brought his hands back down, skimming the skin at her sides, sending a shiver down her spine. She leaned down to kiss him again, feeling the need to be close to him in that moment. As they kissed, he tugged his sweatpants down, lifting his hips and kicking them off of his feet until he was clad in only his boxer shorts.
Her breath hitched in her chest when she felt Colin’s thumbs hook in the sides of her sleep shorts. His kisses slowed down as he pulled back just enough to ask her the question with his eyes. She nodded and kissed him again as he dragged them down her legs.
Colin caught her bottom lip between his teeth and tugged, earning a whimper from her. He groaned and cleared his throat. “Are you good?”
Taking a half step back from his embrace, she smiled, her eyes bright and full of lust for this man offering her everything she ever dreamed of and more. She reached her arms behind her back. “I’m good.”
He reached out to grab her elbow. “Can I–”
She dropped her arms, their eyes connected with a fierceness she wasn’t prepared for. She stepped forward again between his thighs. He reached behind to unclasp her bra and dragged a fingertip across her collarbone to the strap that hung limply on her shoulder before pulling it the rest of the way off. As the garment dropped off of her body, Colin swallowed slowly, taking in the sight of her bare breasts in front of him.
“God.” His eyes were wide.
Penelope took in a shaky breath as Colin’s hand reached out to trace the edge of her chest.
“You’re fucking perfect,” he whispered as he leaned forward to place a featherlight kiss on her shoulder. She shuddered under his touch, suddenly realizing how truly exposed she was to him now.
“Oh please, I’m sure you’ve seen much better.”
Colin looked perplexed by that. “I assure you, Pen. I’ve never seen a better pair of tits in my life.”
She laughed. “And you’ve seen a lot of them, right?”
He frowned at her and squeezed her slightly where his hand was gripping her ribcage.
“Don’t do that. Please. Just be here with me.” His fingertips trailed up and down her naked side, his eyes fixed on hers.
“Right. Sorry.” She bit her lip. The heat between them began to swirl, moving in and out of her lungs, stealing the breath from her chest. Standing in front of Colin, mostly naked, was already the most vulnerable she’d been in her entire life, and she knew she had a ways to go.
“Can I touch you now?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
His right hand moved slowly, his thumb tracing lightly over the hardened nipple before he grasped her fully in his hand, letting the weight of her settle against his palm. His pupils were completely black as his other hand joined in the fun, groping her entirely.
“Fuck,” he whispered, leaning forward to drag his lips across her jaw and towards her pulse point, where he sucked lightly for a moment, earning a moan from the back of Penelope’s throat that she tried to stop. He must have caught on.
“Please don’t hold back,” he said as his fingers kneaded her breasts. “Don’t be quiet. I wanna hear you.”
He dragged his lips down until he reached where his hands were, taking over on the left side, kissing the flesh, and sucking a nipple into his mouth, his tongue roving over the hardened tip.
“Ah,” she moaned, the pleasurable feeling spiraling up her body in a way she wouldn’t have expected. Mysteriously, she felt it between her legs too. “That’s good.”
He switched to the other side as Penelope closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the feel of him. Her nipples were wet with his saliva, his ring finger tracing delicate circles around her areola as he continued sucking on the other side. The combination of the intensity and featherlight touch at the same time was driving her insane. Her mouth was dry from hanging open.
“Colin,” she moaned.
Breaking away with a smack, a string of saliva connecting his lips to her nipple stretching and falling, he breathed heavily and looked up at her. “Sorry. Got sidetracked.” He grinned wickedly at her. “I wasn’t lying. Best tits I’ve ever fucking seen. Holy shit, Pen.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“No seriously. Can I take a picture?”
“What? No!”
“Please? I won’t show anyone, I swear.”
“Colin. It’s the real deal or nothing. Take it or leave it.”
His smirk sent a bolt of heat directly between her legs. She already knew she was wet and getting progressively wetter the more he touched her. But that face. A single dirty grin from him and it was like Niagara Falls down there. She squeezed her thighs together as she ached for him, more turned on than she ever remembered being before in her life.
“I’m gonna take it.”
He grabbed her waist and flipped her until she was lying on her back and then his lips were back on hers. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue found hers, reveling in the looseness of her body now that they’d gotten past the first hurdle.
Colin hovered above her on all fours as he scooted her up the bed so that she was resting against the navy pillows, her red curls tumbling around, like fireworks bursting forth across the night sky.
He peppered kisses down her jaw and neck, his tongue darting out to lick her skin, teeth nibbling at the flesh where her neck and shoulder met.
“I’m gonna touch you.”
“You’re already touching me.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “No, I mean like–”
“Oh, right. Um, yeah. Yes.”
And just like that the nerves snaked through her veins again, wrapping her up in tension and worry. Colin noticed immediately.
“Hey,” he said, his large hand cradling the side of her face, bending down to brush his lips softly against hers. “I’ve got you.”
His eyes remained focused on hers and she turned into water under his gaze. Everything scary in her life was easier and better with Colin.
He trailed a hand down her body, his fingers tracing around the circle of her belly button, earning a small giggle from her. He smiled back at her.
Before she could think another thought, his fingers dipped below the band of her knickers, brushing past her curls, and dipping quickly to the part of her that was consistently throbbing for him. He didn’t make her wait, his fingertips immediately finding a rhythm as they rubbed light circles across her clit.
The immediate sensation of pleasure she felt had her hips bucking up against him, her throat completely dry and she attempted to not completely fall apart underneath him at this point. There was still so much ground to cover before she turned into a sobbing, begging mess. She needed to maintain some level of composure.
“Do you like that?” he asked, clearly goading her as he watched her reaction.
She bit her lip and nodded. “Mhmm– s’good.”
He grinned at her. “Good, huh?” He added slightly more pressure. Her hips bucked again and she moaned breathlessly. Fuck.
“How about that?”
“Uh, yeah. Still good.”
His middle finger trailed down, parting the way, and trailed around the perimeter of her entrance, before he slipped it inside to the first knuckle. “How bout now?”
Penelope swallowed tightly, her hands gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. “Uh huh,” she whimpered.
He slid his finger further until it was almost completely encased by her. He watched her face carefully as he moved. “You’re soaked. Fuck.”
Her walls clamped around him at his words. She could feel the arousal swirling through her gut as his single finger stretched her around him. It wasn’t painful, but she could definitely take notice how much bigger his fingers were compared to her own. Once he was all the way inside, he pulled it back slightly, moving forward again, repeating the motion until the glide was smooth. His thumb rubbed at her clit slowly, adding a fair amount of pressure, working her up slowly and steadily.
“Yes,” she moaned. “God, yes.” Her eyes were closed as she felt a tingling sensation swirling in her belly.
After a few moments, Colin pulled his finger out and Penelope gasped at the loss, but he brought the pads of his fingers to her clit to continue rubbing in circles, increasing the pressure significantly. “I need to add another. I’ll go slow, I promise.” His voice was more strained and gravelly than she was expecting. She nodded and he got back to work.
He slid his ring finger in with his middle finger this time, the stretch definitely noticeable as he thumbed her clit to ease the discomfort. It helped tremendously as the building pleasure quickly took over once more.
Finding his rhythm again, Colin smiled as he watched Penelope sink back into the pillows. Her back arched as he continued working her into a frenzy, his fingers hooking inside of her, tapping gently against her soft inner wall. Each time he tapped it, she felt her jaw loosen on its hinges, the electricity in her veins growing stronger and stronger.
“Are you gonna come, Pen?” Colin took the opportunity to lean down and kiss her neck, his lips soft and wet, tickling the skin under her ear. Her entire body was alight, fraying at the seams, ready to fall into nothingness.
“Answer me.” His demanding tone caught her off guard, her walls clenching around him. He looked down at her, registering her reaction, sending a flush down her chest.
“Y-yes, I’m close,” she panted.
Suddenly he was gone. His free hand tugged her knickers the rest of the way off of her legs and he laid between her thighs, pushing them wider, as his tongue licked across her clit. She nearly screamed, her eyes rolling back, her entire body tensing.
Colin continued licking, his fingers hooking inside of her, moving faster, pressing harder against her. He watched her as she writhed under him, the noises coming out of her mouth connecting into just one consistent moan, ebbing and flowing in volume and pitch in tandem with the pressure and speed of his tongue wet and hot against her.
“Fuck, Colin–”
The pleasure coiling in her belly rippled through her body, like a burst of light and heat threatening to swallow her whole. She was hanging at the edge of the cliff, ready to fly off into the air, desperate to fling herself into the unknown.
His tongue curled, flicking harshly against her, and she jerked underneath him, her hand gripping his hair and nearly pulling it out of his head as she hurdled over the edge, coming with a force she didn’t even know was possible. The walls of her cunt clenched around his fingers dragging in and out of her. He closed his lips around her clit, sucking, drawing the end of her orgasm longer and longer as she continued to writhe, grabbing fistfuls of the sheets.
“Oh my god, fuck, fuck…” she moaned pathetically, pushing his face away from her cunt as he continued trying to suck at her. “S-stop, I’m good.”
He pulled his fingers out of her and watched her chest heaving, flushed red, as he sucked them into his mouth, making eye contact all the while. “You taste incredible.” He wiped the back of his mouth with his opposite hand.
Penelope rested her forearm over her eyes, unsure how to move forward now. She’d just experienced the most intense orgasm of her life and apparently the night wasn’t over. She’d never done that before, but she still hasn’t had sex. She wanted to have sex. She wanted to have sex with Colin so badly.
Colin laid down next to her at some point, his head propped up leaning on his elbow next to her, as he waited for her breathing to resume a normal cadence.
“Take your time,” he whispered, dropping a kiss to her shoulder.
Penelope stared up at the ceiling as her breathing evened out. She could feel the pads of Colin’s fingers drawing patterns across her hip, swirling around her belly button, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Her body was on fire and he was stoking the flames. She turned her face to look at him. His eyes bore into her.
Without thinking, she leaned over to kiss him once more, grabbing the back of his head. She tasted herself on his tongue, salty and bitter, but not entirely unappealing. He moaned into her mouth.
“Do you want me to fuck you, Pen?” he whispered against her lips. At those words alone, her arousal that had been slowly building again as they kissed, spiked in an instant. She needed him.
“Please,” she murmured, pressing her lips to his again. “I… I need it.” She hated how she was coming off, so desperate and pathetic, but she couldn’t help the words as they fell off of her tongue.
Colin reached into the drawer of his nightstand, coming away with a square of foil, resting it on the pillow, before rolling on top of Penelope and pressing her into the mattress with his body.
“Ooomf,” she groaned. He laughed, pressing his lips to her jaw, his tongue licking at her skin as he adjusted his stance to lessen the pressure of his weight on her. He kneeled between her thighs as his hands trailed down her sides, hooking his thumbs under her knees, and lifting to spread them open.
He trailed his knuckles over her seam, still dripping from her previous release. She shook underneath him, earning a chuckle.
“Fuck, you’re so sensitive.”
“Colin–”
“I know, Pen. Just relax, okay? I’ve got you.” He leaned down to brush his lips against hers before moving his hands down to shuck his boxers, pulling them down his legs and tossing them off the bed. His cock sprang up and Penelope’s eyes went wide as he stroked himself a few times, grunting into her hair. Holy shit.
“You’re…” she trailed off, not sure how to say it. He was huge. She had always imagined he would be in the past when she’d fantasized about him. However, here in this moment, faced with the concept of losing her virginity to him, it never occurred to her that her first cock being a huge would would be a bit problematic.
“It– it’s okay. I’ll go slow, I swear.” He watched her carefully and she nodded. “We can stop whenever you–”
“Don’t do that. Please. I want this.” Her breath came out in short bursts, she tried to calm her nerves by snaking her hands up over his shoulders and gently holding onto the base of his neck, centering herself with the feel of his warm skin under her fingertips.
Colin watched her quietly for a moment before relenting and grabbing the packet from the pillow, ripping it open and rolling the condom down over his length.
He started kissing her again, unhurried at first, but eventually picking up in intensity. His hands trailed up and down her body several times, his thumb catching on her nipple as he skimmed her breast, digging into her hip, and back again. Eventually his touch moved towards her center, two fingers slowly pushing inside of her again. The stretch was familiar this time, but she still felt so full.
His lips hovered over the side of her neck, kissing the sensitive spot under her ear. “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re this fucking wet,” he spoke against her skin as his fingers squelched inside of her. “So good.”
And then his fingers were gone and he replaced them with his cock, sliding through her folds, lathering himself in her slick, nudging against her sensitive clit, earning a string of whimpers from Penelope as she shook underneath him.
“Colin,” she whispered.
His pupils were completely black as he watched her, his arms pressed against the mattress on either side of her shoulders. With his next breath, he began pushing inside of her. Penelope watched the muscles in his jaw tighten as he entered her. The first couple of inches went slowly. She felt the sting as he stretched her, so much more than his fingers.
“Uh huh,” she nodded, her hands moving to his upper back to encourage him to keep moving.
He pushed another inch and then stalled. Her throat constricted as the discomfort between her legs began to throb. She gritted her teeth together, watching Colin struggle to keep from moving. After another moment she nodded again.
“I’ll go s-slow,” Colin promised as he pushed forward a bit more. Penelope squeezed her eyes shut tight, trying to breathe through the sting. She just wanted him to finish it at this point so she could move past this hurdle and get to the good part. But he wasn’t moving.
“Penelope,” he gritted out.
Fuck.
“It hurts,” she said. “Only a little. B-but it’s okay. Please. I promise.”
Colin exhaled slowly and continued to push forward, slowly, the last few inches surprisingly a lot easier to get through. Finally he was all the way inside of her, his hips flush against hers, and he groaned out a strained noise, halfway between a laugh and a grunt. He looked down at where they were connected, one of his hands coming down to gently rub back and forth on the inside of her thigh before moving to her clit. His thumb rubbed her slowly in circles, feeling her clench around him.
“Oh.” Penelope’s eyes were wide open. She was breathing slowly to adjust to his size, but the zing of pleasure competing with the pain caused her body to tighten. It was almost as if she didn’t know how to accept so much pleasure and discomfort at the same time. It was a conflicting feeling.
Colin breathed out again, his forehead lulling forward to rest against hers as he continued to rub her. “You’re really tight. Jesus.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at that. Of course she was tight. She was a virgin. Well, not anymore.
“Can you move?”
He lifted his head up, dropping a few kisses across her face as he pulled his hips back gently and pushed them forward again.
“Ah,” Penelope groaned under him. Fuck. That one hurt.
“Should I–”
“Keep going. Please. Just slow.”
Colin nodded and concentrated as he started an incredibly slow pace of thrusts, in and out, as gently as he could, softly massaging her clit under his thumb.
Without thinking, she pulled his neck down to her so she could kiss him. She swirled her tongue around his, swallowing his groans as he pumped inside of her. After a few moments, something jolted and she felt a swoop from deep in her belly. He hit a spot inside of her that sent a delicious spark down her spine.
“Oh my god,” she breathed across his lips. “That’s good.”
He smiled down at her and began to increase his pace gradually. Digging his fingers into her thighs, he spread her wider, slightly lifting and opening her hips as he fucked her.
“Feels good?” he asked, a bead of sweat collecting on his forehead. He rolled his hips against her, stretching her open with each thrust of his cock. Her breasts bounced with the movement, causing Colin’s jaw to tighten as he watched her.
Penelope’s hands traveled across his shoulders, the familiar coiling pleasure building inside of her, making it hard to think straight. “Uh huh,” she moaned. “It’s r-really good.”
Colin smirked, leaning down to drag his tongue across her collarbone, sinking his teeth into her shoulder as he picked up the pace. She moaned under him, her hips jerking against him as his cock dragged deliciously in and out of her.
“Fuck, Pen,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re so fucking tight. It’s driving me crazy. You feel so good.”
The moan that traveled broke free from her throat was guttural, her chest flushed red with exertion and embarrassment.
“Do you have any idea how incredible this pussy is?” She fluttered around him as his lips pressed against her ear. “Taking my fingers, my tongue, my cock, all in one night? God, you’re so fucking hot, Pen.”
Penelope stopped breathing altogether at that. She no longer felt any discomfort as he gilded in and out of her, but the aching need she had been building steadily towards was starting to drive her absolutely crazy. She needed to come. She was going to come.
“C-Colin,” she moaned. “Can you–”
“I’ve got you,” he said before she finished, his hand finding her clit again and rubbing his middle and ring fingers slowly over it. “Like that?” He smirked down at her.
She nodded, her mouth opening to speak, but not able to form words. She was so slick around him, her walls starting to quiver as he pounded into her.
Colin’s breathing picked up, his abdominal muscles tightening. “Jesus Christ, you feel so good.”
His other hand grabbed her opposite thigh, holding it open as best as he could, until her smaller hand moved down to hook under her knee, holding herself open for him. He smiled down at her, replacing his hand on the mattress next to her head for better leverage as he moved. She tilted her hips towards him, their skin slapping together each time he fucked into her.
“Good girl,” he whispered.
Penelope clenched around him at that. He smiled wickedly down at her as the sweat trickled across his hairline, down towards his ears.
Suddenly Penelope’s body began to tighten. The swirling coil in her belly slithered through her veins, spreading like fire to each of her limbs. She was so fucking close she could taste it. She just needed a little bit more.
“Colin,” she moaned. “It’s so good. I’m so close. I’m- I’m gonna–”
Her jaw went slack mid sentence as he increased the speed and pressure of his fingers blurring across her clit as his cocked dragged in and out of her tight cunt.
“Oh my god–” Her eyes rolled back as her toes curled in. This was it. The final hurdle.
“C’mon, Pen. Come on my cock. Be a good girl for me.”
And that was all it took. She convulsed around him, white hot pleasure bursting through her entire body like fireworks. She thinks she called out his name, but isn’t entirely sure what gibberish flew out of her mouth during the best moment in her life. She clenched around him so tightly she wasn’t sure if it was painful for him or not.
“Fuck, fuck,” Colin groaned as he continued rubbing her clit. “You’re squeezing me, holy shit.” His hips didn’t slow down as her limbs tightened underneath him, riding out the tail end of her orgasm.
“Shit.” He sounded pained. “So good. So fucking good.” Colin spent a few moments thrusting as Penelope finished writhing and went limp underneath him.
Finally he grunted and spilled into the condom. “Pen,” he choked out as he took a final deep breath and collapsed on top of her.
Everything in Penelope’s head was fuzzy. Her body was limp and relaxed, satiated in a way she’d never experienced before. Colin’s heavy body pressed her down into the mattress and she didn’t mind one bit.
After a moment of laying there, Colin placed a kiss on her shoulder and pushed himself up. “Take a breath,” he whispered as he pulled out of her. He must have known it wouldn’t be comfortable for her. He was right. She winced mildly at the sensation, the soreness making itself known.
“Is there, um… is there any blood?” she asked quietly, her heart thudding in her chest.
Colin looked down to examine. “Only a little, it’s fine. I swear, it’s not a big deal.” He reached over to the nightstand to grab a tissue as he rolled the condom off, tying it up and wrapping it for the bin.
Penelope pulled the covers over herself as Colin went to dispose of the condom. When he came back over, he crawled under with her.
“Is it alright if I stay a little while?” she asked sleepily.
Colin gawked at her. “You can’t seriously think I wouldn’t want you to sleep here? Like I’d just kick you out and send you packing to your room? You should know me better than that, Pen.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Always so dramatic. A simple ‘yes’ would have been fine.”
He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back up to his chest. “Yes.”
They didn’t exchange any other words, breathing in sync with one another, as the exhaustion overtook them and they faded to sleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.
–
Colin woke up with a mane of red curls up his nose and immediately began to panic. He’d had sex with Penelope. He’d been Penelope’s first. Fuck.
He hated himself that it took until sleeping with her to realize the missing piece he’d been chasing all these months, the solution to his misery, was simply her.
His heart swelled in his chest as his fingers traced up and down her silky smooth skin. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t lay here letting himself fall deeper and deeper into his own self loathing while she had no idea. He needed to get the fuck up.
Quietly extracting himself from the bed, he pulled on his sweats and tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. The least he could do was get her something for the pain. And a muffin. A peace offering of sorts.
It was early enough that only a few people were awake. His mum and Daphne were having breakfast on the patio. Francesca and Kate had gone on a walk with Newton.
Colin managed to make a few cups of coffee, one with a splash of oat milk for Penelope, and put a few muffins on a plate, grabbing a small bottle of paracetamol before making his way back to his room.
Even though he attempted to close the door quietly with his foot due to his hands being full, it closed with a loud click and he noticed Penelope stir. Shit.
“Hi,” she said quietly as she turned to face him, clutching the sheet to her chest.
“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Colin said, setting the coffees down on the nightstand. “I brought you some sustenance.”
Penelope sat up slightly and winced. Colin noticed.
“Here,” he said, stretching out the arm holding the pills. “Take one of these.”
She smiled awkwardly, popping a tablet into her mouth and holding her hand out wordlessly for him to place a mug of coffee into. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the interaction. Even in an objectively uncomfortable moment, they were still Colin and Pen.
“Well that was something,” she said, her bright blue eyes staring up at him cautiously.
“That’s your reaction to sex?” His eyebrows were drawn together in confusion.
“Well, what do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that I rocked your world?” he joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
“God, you’re such a guy.”
They both laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. “Really, Pen. You can just be honest.”
She exhaled slowly, wrapping her arms tighter around her sheet covered chest. “It was good. Really good. I– I’m glad it was you.”
Colin’s heart soared in his chest. Fuck, he didn’t realize how badly he wanted to hear her say that.
“Good. It was good. For me too, that is.”
“Yeah?”
He laughed. “Yeah. Like… it was great, actually.”
She blushed at his praise. “Right. Thanks?”
Colin couldn’t help but smile at her innocence. Well, she wasn’t quite so innocent anymore. “Do you have any… questions?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh god, please don’t turn this into some bloody sex education thing. I was a virgin, not a nun.”
He cackled at that. “Hey, I’m just saying. There can be a lot of buildup around sex. And some of it definitely isn’t what people think it’s gonna be.”
Penelope wrinkled her nose. “It’s definitely… noisier than I thought it would be.”
“Noisier?” he repeated incredulously.
“Yeah!” She giggled as she spoke. “I mean, just like the sounds, and then also the stuff you were saying.”
Colin’s face fell. He knew he was a talker. He babbled during sex. But he was suddenly hyper aware of who he’d been babbling to.
“Shit, was I–”
“N-no, it was good. I liked it.” She swallowed. “It was hot, actually.”
Now it was Colin’s turn to blush. “Right. Good.”
“And, um, I guess it’s nice that you were… prepared,” she said, nudging her head towards his nightstand. “Leads me to believe I’m not exactly the first visitor you’ve entertained here.”
Colin scoffed at that. “Pen, I definitely didn’t have condoms at the ready here. Aubrey Hall is a family home so I’m not sure who you think I’d be hooking up with here.”
She eyed him and gestured down at herself, still naked in his bed, wrapped in just a thin sheet.
“Fine, point taken. But no. I grabbed those from my bag and shucked them in the drawer like two seconds before you got here.”
She smiled. “I see. Well, either way, I guess it’s nice that you didn’t try to convince me to rawdog it or something.”
Colin almost choked on his tongue. “Geeze, Pen. What is this, some sleezy porno?”
Penelope laughed a true full belly laugh at that. “No, if this were a porno, I’d be squirting all over the place. We’d have made a real mess.”
“Oh god. Yeah, I’d hate to be the one to explain to the cleaning staff why I need an emergency set of spare sheets in the middle of our holiday.”
They both laughed together for another moment, filling the room with the warmth and ease that’s earned through fifteen years of friendship. Well, fifteen years of friendship and one night of hot, passionate sex.
Colin cleared his throat after a few moments of watching her sip coffee in the quiet. “You said last night you were worried you wouldn’t regret this. So… do you?”
Penelope took a deep breath in, watching him from where he sat on the edge of the bed.
“No, Colin. I don’t regret it. I’m– I’m really glad that we did this.”
He smiled, reaching over to grab her hand. “Me too.”
There was so much more he wanted to say. So many things he wanted to ask. He wanted to tackle her and pull the sheet down, climbing back under the covers with her. But he knew that he couldn’t. He needed to let them sit in this moment together. She needed to process. Besides, they had an entire week left together at Aubrey Hall. Anything could happen.