Work Text:
When Eddie wakes up, the first thing he hears is his head ringing. It takes him a minute to gain enough strength to open his eyes. It’s dark and hot and the air smells so heavy from the smoke that it’s burning his throat and his eyes. He slowly pulls himself up from the floor as his surroundings come rushing back to him.
He had been back in Los Angeles for close to a month now. After he and Christopher began rebuilding their relationship in El Paso, Chris told him he really wanted to come home. With nothing else keeping them in Texas, it wasn’t long before they were on their way and Eddie was welcomed back at the 118 with open arms.
This, of course, led him to where he was now. The 118 had been sent to fight a fire at SoCal Tech Bio lab, which specialized in lethal viruses. They were able to locate and pull out two of the three victims they were told were trapped inside. Just as everyone on the team was about to make it out, there was an explosion and everything went dark.
“Buckley, Diaz.” Maddie’s frantic voice comes in through the radio. “Do you copy? Buck?”
Eddie fumbled around until he found the button for his radio.
“This is Diaz.” His voice comes out weak and hoarse. “I copy.”
“Oh, thank god.” There’s a sigh of relief on the other end. “Do you see Buck? Is he okay?”
Eddie is immediately on high alert. Buck’s there too. His first responder mode kicks in and he quickly gets up and begins looking all around. Luckily, he doesn’t have to search far before he sees another figure passed out on the floor. Buck.
“I see him.” He confirms, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Buck’s covered in his hazmat gear, blocking Eddie from checking his pulse but there’s a slow rise to his chest. Eddie lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “He’s alive but unconscious.”
“Thank god.” Maddie repeats through the radio. “The lab is on lockdown. Everyone else made it out already except for you two. They’re working with the army to get you guys out as soon as possible. Right now it’s looking like it’ll be at least a few hours.”
It takes a few seconds for Eddie to process Maddie’s words. They’re stuck in lockdown. In a lab full of extremely deadly viruses. Then, a dark realization dawns on him. He’s not wearing his face protection and he’s unprotected.
“Dispatch, I’m afraid we have another problem.”
Buck slowly wakes up about five minutes later. It’s dark and quiet around him and it takes him a second to process where he is.
“Wh-“
“Hey.” A tired voice comes through Buck’s radio.
Buck whips his head around so fast his neck hurts, adding to the pain of everything else he’s feeling. Eddie’s on the other side of a see-through wall with a hospital face mask covering his face.
“What happened?” Buck’s tone is frenzied but matches the same level of exhaustion as Eddie’s.
“The lab exploded. Everyone else is already out but we got trapped inside.”
Buck immediately notices Eddie’s lack of face protection gear. He knows Eddie already knows what he’s about to ask because he answers before Buck can speak.
“My breather broke off in the blast. Don’t know how exposed I am to everything in here and I didn’t wanna risk infecting you, too.”
Buck felt his heart racing. It was bad enough that he was trapped but Eddie? Shit.
“Okay..” Buck takes a deep breath. It takes everything in him to hold it together. “How do we get out of here? There has to be a way out.”
“There’s not. The whole building’s on lockdown.” Eddie shuts his eyes. “Maddie said the military was working to get us out but that it’ll be a while.”
Eddie laid his head against the wall. While he’s confident Buck will get out and be fine, he feels a lot less sure of his own chances. Highly contagious viruses were never his specialty but he figured it was pretty safe to assume that being this exposed was not going to end well for him, even once they were rescued.
“Okay so we’re fine. The military will get us out of here and they’ll be able to run tests to confirm you’re fine and everything will be okay.” Buck sounds like he’s trying to convince himself just as much as he’s trying to convince Eddie. “We’re gonna be fine.”
Eddie’s stomach twists but he can’t help but give a slight smile. He doesn’t have it in him to disagree.
“Yeah, Buck. We’re gonna be fine.”
When Eddie and Christopher came back to Los Angeles, they didn’t bother finding a new place to live. It was so easy living with Buck. They quickly fell into a routine and it became so comfortable with the three of them under the same roof. Buck and Eddie cooked together, took turns driving Chris to school and picking him up, mixed their laundry together, and even started taking one car to work most shifts. It was all so domestic and felt so natural until, one day, it hit Eddie like a ton of bricks.
He was in love with Evan Buckley.
He did his best to keep this information and his sexuality realization to himself and, for the most part, succeeded. That was until Christopher began asking him questions and Eddie couldn’t bring himself to deny it to his son.
“If you love Buck that’s okay with me.” Chris had said. “You’re my dad and I want you to be happy. And Buck is part of our family already, anyways.”
Eddie couldn’t tell if he felt lighter or heavier from hearing that but was so overwhelmed with emotion that he cried for an hour.
About 30 minutes had passed since Buck and Eddie have been stuck in the lab. Buck spent the first ten minutes frantically googling hemorrhagic fever symptoms while Eddie kept reassuring him that he felt fine until Buck finally got the hint that Eddie didn’t have it in him to discuss it anymore. They sat in silence for the rest of the time, neither of them having much else to say and both of them trying to stay calm for the other. Bobby called, saying the army was slowly making progress toward getting to them but that it would still be a while. They just had to be patient.
Eddie felt his body getting warmer and it made his headache ten times worse. He was certain it had to be the hot air circulating inside the lab since it couldn’t escape. That was all it was. It’s not like he could start showing symptoms that fast.
Eddie tried to push the exhaustion in his body away by focusing on something else. He kept looking over at Buck. Buck, who was staring intensely at a tile on the ground in front of him, not once making eye contact. Buck, who was always there when Eddie needed him. Buck, who even in the darkest of situations, still managed to keep Eddie sane. Eddie thought about how when he needed all of those pep talks to deal with his parents and get his son back, Buck was the first one to remind him that he could do it. He thought about how Buck was so selfless, he gave up his loft and took over Eddie’s lease without a second thought so that Eddie could be with Christopher. He thought about how during the shooting, Buck risked his own life to save Eddie’s. He thought about how Buck had not only always had his back, but Christopher’s. During the tsunami, Buck saved him. When Eddie was having panic attacks, Buck was the first person Chris called for help. That was the reason Buck was the person Eddie trusted most to look after his son if something were to ever happen to him. The reason he solidified it in his will. Buck had given so much to both of them and it was only a small part of the reason Eddie was so deeply in love with him, he was kicking himself for taking so long to figure it out. And now, here he was, in a lab full of deadly diseases that were probably already entering his body.
“Hey, Buck.” Eddie took a deep breath and pressed the button on his radio. He didn’t like what his chances of surviving were even once they made it out and he figured it was now or never.
Buck had been clearly deep in thought but immediately gave Eddie his full attention.
“Yeah?”
“I’m gay.”
There’s silence. Buck freezes. Eddie swears he heard Buck’s breathing stop as he clicks off of his radio.
“Buck? Did you hear me?”
“Yeah, yeah, I heard you.” Buck responds, almost too quickly. “Eddie, wow. I’m happy for you.”
Eddie opens his mouth to share the next part of what he wants to say. But something inside his head stops him and he can’t bring himself to tell Buck. Not yet.
“Thanks, Bu-“ Eddie starts to say instead, but he’s interrupted by a large coughing fit. It feels like he’s choking and he can’t breathe.
Buck snaps his head up.
“Eddie?!?” His voice is laced with concern. He stands up, ready to open the door to the side where Eddie is and help him. His own safety be damned.
The coughing stops and Eddie slowly pulls off his mask. It’s covered with blood and there’s foam coming out of his nose. Eddie looks like he’s about to pass out.
“No.” Buck freezes. “No no no no no no.” He frantically pressed the button on his radio. “MADDIE!! We need to get out of here now. Eddie’s gonna die.”
Buck doesn’t even hear what Maddie’s response is. He rushes through the door and quickly grabs on to Eddie, who’s barely conscious. The color is drained from his face and his eyes are half closed. Eddie can’t even hold himself upright without Buck’s strength.
“H- hey hey hey.. You’re gonna be okay. Just stay with me. Stay with me, Eddie.” Buck tightens his grip on his best friend, who’s body is going limp in his arms. “MADDIE!!!” He screeches into his radio again.
“I’m patching you through to Bobby.” Maddie’s voice comes through again. She’s trying her hardest to keep her calm, professional demeanor but there’s clear panic in her voice. “They’re trying to figure out why he’s showing symptoms so quickly. You need to try to stay calm and keep him awake, Buck.”
“E- Eddie, hey.” Buck lifts Eddie’s head up from where it’s resting on his palm, his fingers stroking his cheeks. “You need to stay awake for me. You can’t sleep.” Buck is trying his hardest to follow Maddie’s instructions and respond how he would in any other emergency. But when it’s your best friend in the world dying in your arms, it’s pretty hard to respond rationally like it’s just another day on the job.
“They’re gonna get us out of here. You just gotta hold on. Don’t close your eyes.” Buck pleads. It felt like all of his training went out the window and he wasn’t even sure Eddie could hear him right now. All he could do was beg.
“Buck..” Eddie’s voice was weak but it was the best sound Buck has ever heard in that moment.
“Yeah, yeah..” Buck continues rubbing Eddie’s cheek with his thumb, tightening his grip on him. “You’re okay. You’re gonna be fine.” He repeats.
“Yeah.” Eddie replies. He grasps onto Buck’s arm with the strength he still has and Buck slides his hand into his, holding it firmly “It’s not my first time dying.”
“You’re not gonna die.” Buck’s voice is desperate. “You’re not allowed to die.”
“It’s okay.” Eddie whispers.
“No it’s not.” Buck’s eyes sting with tears. Eddie can’t go like this. “You just came back. You can’t leave again.”
“Buck. It’s okay.” Eddie repeats, his voice getting slower and he’s choking on almost every word and it takes everything in Buck to not scream. “You and Chris have each other and that’s all that matters. Just take care of him and don’t do anything stupid just because I’m not there to have your back.”
“No.” Buck can’t remember the last time he felt so nauseous. Eddie’s skin is pale and he’s getting bluer by the second. “Chris doesn’t need me. He needs you. You’re his dad.”
Eddie looks like he has more to say but before he can speak, he breaks into another coughing fit.
It isn’t fair. Buck thinks. It should be me dying right now. Not him.
“Buck.” Bobby comes through on the radio. “Do you copy?”
“Bobby.” Buck holds down the button on his radio, his voice shaking. “What the hell happened?”
“The virus was manipulated. It’s a long story. But what matters is there’s a cure in the lab you just need to go and get it.”
Buck’s heart starts beating faster. There’s still a chance. He can still save Eddie.
“Where is it?” He calls out, his eyes not leaving Eddie’s face.
It goes against every single impulse Buck has to leave Eddie’s side even for a second. His head is filled with worst case scenarios of what could happen during those few minutes he’s gone. But if there’s a chance he can save him he has to take it. He makes way to the room toward the unit with the vial.
“I’m here.” Buck confirms. “What’s the password?”
“1-7-8-7-5.” Bobby says.
Buck holds his breath while he punches the numbers in. The unit opens. There’s a small vial sitting inside.
“I see it.”
Buck grabs it and quickly runs back to the room where Eddie is sitting up against the wall hacking.
“Hey.” For the first time since Eddie’s symptoms worsened, Buck is able to keep his voice somewhat steady. “I got the cure. Just hang on.”
Buck carefully injects the vial into Eddie’s bloodstream.
“See.” Buck takes a deep breath “We’re both going home today.”
Eddie doesn’t feel any different yet but he and Buck both let out a sigh of relief.
“Yeah.” A slight chuckle slips from Eddie’s slips. “I should’ve never doubted you, Buck.”
Buck grasps onto Eddie’s hand. He uses his free hand to press the button on his radio.
“Okay, I did it.” He confirms. “How much longer until we can get out of here?”
There’s silence on the other end.
“Cap?” Buck tries again.
“The US army retreated the rescue mission, Buck.” Bobby tells him, hesitantly.
Buck’s brain short circuits.
“What, why?”
“The manipulation of the virus creates a much bigger risk if it’s let out to the public.” Bobby explains. “They’re waiting to see if there’s proof the vaccine actually worked and now they also need to review different protocols to ensure the virus doesn’t get released and create another pandemic once we do let you guys out.”
“Okay..” Buck replies, slowly. “How long should that take?”
There’s another beat of silence before Bobby replies.
“They’re not sure yet.”
Eddie still feels like shit. Even with the vaccine inside him, he’s not convinced there’s anything happening. If the virus was able to make him this sick so quickly, shouldn’t the vaccine work the same way and make him better just as fast? Of course not. He thinks.
Eddie lets out another violent cough. Buck is still sitting beside him, concern all over his face. His hand has been tightly holding onto Eddie’s since the vial was injected.
This is it. Eddie realizes. The cure isn’t enough to save him. All he can do now is convince Buck to leave so he doesn’t watch him die and hope that the rest of their team is able to rescue him before he’s forced to die in there too.
“You need to go.” Eddie musters.
Buck looks up. He had to have heard Eddie incorrectly.
“What?”
“Buck.” Eddie spits out another cough. “I don’t think we’re getting out of this together this time.”
“What are you talking about” The panic comes back to Buck’s voice. “I gave you the cure. You’re fine. We just have to wait for them to figure out how to get us out.”
“They’re not getting us out.” Eddie admits. “Only you. You need to get as far away from me as possible so you don’t get sick, too.” His voice is getting quieter. “Chris needs you.”
“No.” Buck shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you. You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah.” Eddie nods, his words beginning to slur together. “And you’re more than that, Evan.”
No. No. Eddie can’t do this. Eddie can’t leave. Especially not after saying that. Buck knew deep down that he had always felt the same way and Eddie doesn’t get to just confess this now and then die. Buck wants to scream at him and make sure Eddie knows that it’s so fucked up that he’s telling him this at the very end.
“No.” Buck can barely see through his tears. He grabs onto Eddie even tighter. “You can’t leave me.”
Buck hears Eddie take his last breath the second it happens. His body goes limp in Buck’s arms and the room becomes eerily quiet.
Buck lets out a quiet sob. And another. And another. His sobs become incontrollable and turn into screams. Maddie’s voice comes through on the radio but he doesn’t even hear her.
He barely even notices when he’s not the only person in the room anymore. He protests against being ripped away from Eddie but doesn’t have enough strength to fight when someone, Bobby, leads him out.
Buck’s mind is in a daze. He feels like he’s existing outside of his body. Bobby guides him to the decontamination showers while Chimney, Hen, and Ravi take Eddie god knows where. He can’t even bring himself to speak anymore. He just absently does whatever the lab supervisors tell him to and lets Bobby lead him somewhere quiet after. Once they’re both sitting away from everyone, Buck finally lets himself sob freely into Bobby’s arms.
“It should’ve been me.” He cries out. “Eddie was supposed to make it out. I gave him the cure.”
“You did everything you could for him, Buck.” Bobby’s voice is firm as he pushed back his own emotions in favor of comforting his pseudo son.
“I’m in love with him.” Buck admits in a whisper, like a confession. “And I never even got to tell him.”
Bobby doesn’t respond for a second. Though Buck hadn’t said it out loud before, it was something the fire captain already knew and he also knew that Eddie had felt the same way.
“He knows, kid. I know he knows.”
Eddie opens his eyes to nothing but darkness. It feels like he’s suffocating and there’s something around him that’s making it really hard to move his body. His heart begins racing and his breathing gets faster and he’s suddenly able to move his arms in a panic. He rips his hand through a plastic, black bag and pulls himself up only to be met by the terrified scream of one of the lab workers in the morgue.
“What happened?!?” He calls out, breathing heavily.
“You were dead.” The worker replies, frozen in shock.
It all comes rushing back. The vaccine worked after all. And if he’s here, it must mean Buck got out, too.
“Buck.” Eddie stumbles out, almost tripping over his own feet. “I need to find Buck.”
Eddie frantically rushed to the door, the scare he was about to give everyone in that building being the least of his worries.
“Wait!” The lab worker calls out, still in a state of surprise and fear from what she just witnessed. Her voice is slightly muffled from the hazmat suit was wearing. “Let me help you. You should also really be checked out.”
Buck feels dehydrated from all the crying he had been doing for the past couple of hours. He’s sitting next to Maddie on her and Chimney’s couch, his eyes stinging and his head pounding from exhaustion.
Christopher was still at school. Buck had about 30 minutes left before it was time to pick him up and somehow explain what had happened to his dad. He knew he probably should’ve pulled him out but Buck still didn’t know what the hell he was going to tell him and selfishly wanted to wait as long as possible before doing so.
Buck’s phone rings and he doesn’t even look to see who it is. He just ignores it until the ringing stops. Almost immediately after, Chimney gets a call.
“Hello.” Chim answers with a sigh. “What?” His demeanor immediately changes. “We’ll be right there, Cap.”
Buck barely glances up at Chim as he starts pacing back and forth.
Maddie quickly stands up. “What is it?”
“We, uh..” Chim pauses, trying to figure out how to choose his next words. “We gotta get back down to that lab.”
Buck scurried into the lab. In one of the rooms on the first floor, above where the fire had happened, there were a bunch of doctors and scientists crowding around, running tests. Buck pushed his way through to the front and there, sitting on a hospital bed hooked up to lots of machines, was Eddie Diaz. Alive and awake.
“Hey, Buck.” Eddie says quietly, some hoarseness still laced in his voice but no hacking followed.
Tears started welling up in Buck’s eyes for the millionth time that day at the sound of Eddie’s voice.
“Hey.” Is all he can bring himself to say.
Right outside the room, Maddie and Chimney are discussing something with one of the doctors just as Bobby, Athena, and Hen pull up and join their conversation. Buck slowly scoots closer to Eddie.
“The cure worked.” Eddie simply says, offering out his hand. Buck instinctively reaches out to hold it.
“You died, Eddie.” Buck almost chokes while saying it out loud.
“I did.” Eddie acknowledges, still processing it himself. “Didn’t stick, though.”
There’s so much Buck wants to say but he can’t with all of these people around them. And Karen is on her way with Christopher so a heart-to-heart conversation with Eddie is going to have to wait a while. For now, Buck just settles for holding his hand and staring intensely at Eddie to make sure he’s really there while the doctors around them explain the delayed reaction of the vaccine, causing the temporary death.
Once all the scientists at the lab were satisfied with their tests, Eddie was transported to the hospital. The rest of their family had stayed for a few more hours until it started getting late and it was time for them to head home. Maddie and Chimney took Christopher back to their house for the night and finally, it was just Buck and Eddie.
Buck sat down next to Eddie on the side of his hospital bed.
Awkward silence filled the air.
Eddie broke first.
“So..”
Buck focused his gaze extra hard on Eddie’s fingers, not trusting what words would come out of his mouth if he spoke.
Eddie’s hand squeezed his softly. “Buck.”
The gentle gesture acts as a trigger for Buck. He’s not sure how his body is still able to produce tears after all of the crying he had done today.
“Hey.” Eddie whispers, his thumb rubbing against Buck’s knuckles. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” Buck disagrees. “You died. You were dead. And you said all of that to me right before and I never even got a chance to tell you that I-“
Buck takes a deep breath, stabilizing himself.
“That I feel the same way. That I’m in love with you, too.”
Eddie’s staring into Buck’s eyes. He doesn’t speak for what feels like a minute but in reality is probably about ten seconds.
“I know, Buck.” He says. “I think I’ve always known. I just didn’t know that I’ve always known.”
“I think your brain is still a little scrambled.” Buck teases, no real bite to his words. His face is inching closer to Eddie’s. “Because that made even less sense than the whole coming back to life thing.”
“I think I have an excuse. I did just come back to life.”
“I love you.” Buck whispers. “So, so much.”
“I love you, too.” Eddie’s breath is hot in Buck’s face as he replies. “Just as much.”
The small gap between them closes as their lips press against each other. All of the unsaid words that were never spoken between them and all of their frightened feelings from the nightmare of a day were suddenly let out in one passionate kiss. But it was also home for both of them. A confirmation that they belonged together and that they were done being apart from one another, both romantically and geographically.
They’re pulled apart by the sound of the heart rate monitor beeping, signaling Eddie’s heart racing. They both let out a chuckle.
“I’m kicking myself for waiting so long to tell you.” Eddie admits. “I almost ran out of time.”
“Hey.” Buck presses a soft kiss against Eddie’s lips. “We got all the time in the world now.”
“Forever.” Eddie rubs his free hand against Buck’s cheek.
“Forever.” Buck agrees, leaning in for another kiss.
Exhausted, Eddie rests his head on Buck’s shoulder, which happens to be more comfortable than any pillow. Buck readjusts himself on the hospital bed and opens his arms for Eddie to crawl in. They melt into each other’s presence, the events of the day slipping from their minds until the only thing that exists is the two of them.