Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eddie has only been with the 118 for a few months and he's quickly realizing that they are the unluckiest firehouse he's ever seen. On his first day, he pulled a live grenade out of a man's leg. Not to blow his own horn, but he isn't entirely sure what they would have done without his experience from the army. Then there was an earthquake, a collapsing high rise building, and the entire team getting dosed with LSD. Including him. Which hadn't been fun.

The 118 claims they're cursed from time to time or that the universe is trying to say something. Eddie just thinks someone up there might have a sense of humor. Either way, any terrible event that impacts the city usually involves the 118.

Eddie thinks, following that line of logic, that it shouldn't be surprising when a tsunami rocks LA and the 118 ends up right in the middle of it.

Eddie sees Hen check her phone again for the hundredth time in ten minutes. Her annoyed groan filters over the headset and Eddie watches as she taps harder at her phone.

"Everyone okay?" he asks, nodding towards her phone. She makes a shrugging gesture, flinging her phone slightly.

"Denny was home from school today. Fever. Karen stayed with him, so they should be fine. Not that I can even ask." 

They're in the cabin of the truck, Eddie sitting in the left seat facing backwards. Hen and Chimney are squeezed into the forward facing seats in the middle while Ravi, the newer probie, mirrors Eddie in the rear facing seat on the right. Chimney is fussing with his phone too, having the same amount of luck Hen was having. 

"How about you, Chim? Who are you trying to reach?"

"Nothing! Dead, empty, no use at all!" Chim punctuates each word with an exaggerated tap to his phone. Eddie nods, making a sympathetic noise over the headset. 

"He's just worried about his dispatcher girlfriend," Hen teases. Chim gasps, placing a hand on his heart. 

"I'll have you know that I was trying to contact Albert."

"Oh, don't worry, Albert's fine. He said he was going on a hike today, which usually means he's up north and more inland," Ravi says. He looks around uncertainly when everyone stares at him. "What?"

"Why do you know where Albert is?" Chim asks suspiciously. 

Ravi swallows, glancing at Eddie for help. Eddie, being curious himself, simply raises a brow. "We exchanged numbers at the cookout last weekend."

"You're texting my brother?" 

Hen puts a hand out to calm Chim, laughing a bit. "I'm sure it's nothing serious."

Eddie clears his throat. "Hey, Ravi, how did that date go yesterday?"

Ravie glances at him sharply. "Traitor!"

Chimney throws his hand out, pointing at Ravi dramatically. "You're dating my brother??"

"It was just one dinner!" Ravi exclaims, hands up  non-threateningly.

"Oh, so now he's not good enough for you?" Hen chimes in.

Chimney goes to unbuckle himself. Ravi makes a valid attempt at disappearing into his chair. Eddie, the ever helpful friend he is, sits and laughs at both of them.

Their banter is a good distraction from the fact that he hasn't been able to reach Chris or Caroline, the neighborhood babysitter he normally has to watch Chris. She's a great girl, saving up for art school, and genuinely cares about Chris. She tends to prefer inside activities though, making Eddie have to beg her to take Chris outside. He's just praying that today isn't the day she picked to prioritize his son's Vitamin D intake. 

Buck is ecstatic to be back in LA for a bit. It's been great to see Maddie, to explore a new city with no guns or explosions or civilian casualties. There's still sand here, but Buck finds the ocean more than makes up for it.

He feels good today, making breakfast for Maddie before she leaves for her shift at dispatch. He was so proud when she called him, telling him that she left Doug and moved to the opposite side of the country. She's still helping people, even after everything she went through. He had been nervous to see her, scared about what she would say, how she would react. The humvee had gotten him pretty bad, the scars down his left side still angry and pink. She had cried, but she hadn't kicked him out or yelled, simply pinched him for not letting her pick him up from the airport and ordered his favorite food for dinner. 

Today, she grins at his bad kitchen dance moves. He twirls her around, pecking her on the cheek as he slides her a plate of eggs. 

"What are your plans today?" 

Buck hums. "I've got therapy here soon, but I might go to the beach. It's gorgeous out today."

She nods, sighing. "I'll be jealous. You'll be out in the sun while I sit in my dark room in front of screens all day."

Buck waves a hand. "You'll be saving people. I'll just be sitting on my ass all day."

She grabs his hand, squeezing it. "You've saved so many people, Evan. And we both know you'll be back at it soon, okay?"

He nods gratefully at her. She pats his cheek before heading out to work. Buck finishes breakfast, and then the dishes, before fishing his laptop out from the guest room. He takes a deep breath, logging into his therapy Zoom appointment. He had booked an appointment with a PTSD therapist as soon as he was able to after the accident. He wants to go back to his team, go back to helping people and making a positive impact on the world. He doesn't have time to be scared of humvees or explosions. He misses his family like he's missing a limb. (His therapist does not find this joke to be funny. He tries to tell her that it's okay because he didn't lose his leg, he just almost did. She does not agree and usually writes something in her notes after he says it.) 

He always feels raw after therapy, like his doctor cracked open his chest and pulled out all of his organs to show everyone. But, today's a good day, so he puts on jeans, a t-shirt, and layers with a linen button down over the top. He'll be a little warm, but he's not allowed to have the scars out in the sun quite yet, so he'll just have to deal. It helps to know that people can't see just how badly he was hurt. He still catches people eyeing the scars that crawl up the left side of his neck, petering out halfway up his cheek. He grabs his dog tags, plops a Navy cap onto his head, and grabs his wallet before he's out the door.

Once he gets to the beach, he grabs a smoothie, rolls up his jeans with his shoes and socks off, and wanders on the edge of the surf. He looks for shells, plays fetch with a dog whose owner doesn't feel like getting in the water, and sends plenty of photos to Maddie. 

When he's tired of the feeling of the sand between his toes, he pulls his socks and shoes back on and heads to the pier. It smells like fair food, memories of fried oreos before shady carnival rides and Maddie's laugh flashing over him. He wanders from stall to stall, trying samples of everything he's handed. A sweet old lady notices his tags and hat and buys him an elephant ear to thank him for his service. He tries to stop her, but she won't hear it, so he sits with her while he eats it. She tells him about her late husband who served, how he enlisted right before Vietnam. He was a Marine, serving for thirty years before retiring. She talks about their plans to move to LA that never happened, him getting diagnosed with lung cancer. 

Buck's heart hurts for her. It isn't uncommon, especially in Vietnam veterans, for lung cancer to appear. They breathed in too many chemicals and gasses with no treatment. He tells her about Daniel, the older brother he was supposed to save. He isn't really sure why he shares it, this lady only trying to thank him, not listen to him trauma dump. But when he's done and they've sat together for over an hour, Buck feeling more at peace than he ever has, she thanks him for listening. They trade facebooks, with promises to meet again on the pier when they have time. 

He wanders his way to the end of the pier, texting Maddie about the sweet old lady. There's a few benches stationed along the edge of the pier and he sits on one. He people watches for a bit, before going back to the phone. He's sending an email to one of his teammates when a teenager taps him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, sir. Sorry to bother you, but could you take a photo of us really quickly? Need to prove to his dad that I do care about his son's sunlight intake." Buck laughs, nodding. He positions them so that the ocean is in the background. The teenager has dark red hair, multiple tattoos standing out sharply against her pale skin. The boy is young, with curly brown hair, adorable glasses, and crutches. There's a giant bear stuffed between them, evidence that they've had a fun day. 

He hands her the phone back, complimenting the vine that wraps from her wrist all the way to her shoulder. "Thanks! I drew it myself, and a friend of mine did the tattooing."

The boy pulls on her hand, grabbing her attention immediately. "Can we sit? My legs hurt." 

Buck scoots over on his bench, patting the empty space next to him. "We can share this one! My name is Buck." He holds his hand out for a fistbump that the boy excitedly returns.

"I'm Chris! This is Carrie!" He points to the girl, who drops the bear in front of her.

"Caroline, actually. I'm his babysitter," she whispers the last part over his head. 

"She hangs out with me when dad is at work."

Buck laughs. "Wow, bud, that's really cool!"

Chris turns to watch the water, Caroline putting a hand on him to make sure he can't fall. Buck turns to Caroline. "Oh, the babysitting days."

It's her turn to laugh. "Classic highschool job, right? Just trying to save for art school."

"I used to do it for extra bike parts." She gives him a look. "For the motorcycle I was not supposed to have. So at least you're doing it for better reasons than I did!"

"I have a bit of a hard time believing that, Mr. Navy. Thank you for that, by the way." She motions to his hat when he looks a little confused. He nods, not really sure what to say to that. "Sorry, if that's awkward. I picked you to take our photo because I figured you'd be safe." 

"I appreciate it. It's a good hat, isn't it? What school are you thinking?"

They talk for a little bit. She wants to go to school in Chicago. Usually, she takes Chris to the park, but the kids there have been mean to him. In avoiding the park, Chris has been inside more than usual. "He doesn't want me to tell Eddie, but the man is begging me on his knees to take his son outside. It's not like he never goes outside! They have a yard! We sit outside drawing all the time!"

Chris had gotten antsy at this point, moving to stand between Buck and Caroline facing the water. Buck's in the middle of retelling every fact he knows about Vitamin D deficiency when Chris interrupts them. "Where did all the water go?"

Buck's heart drops, wide-eyed gaze meeting Caroline's. They both jump to their feet, facing the ocean to find the tide so far out they can barely see it. The ground starts to shake, a low rumbling filling the air. Caroline gasps. "Tsunami."

Buck picks up Chris easily, grabbing Caroline's hand. "Run!" he shouts. "Everyone run! Tsunami!" Caroline keeps pace next to him easily as Buck sprints, ignoring the pain in his leg every time he takes a step. He points to a booth, Caroline changing course. She hops over the counter, reaching for Chris. Buck looks back, staring as the wave looming up behind them.

"Buck!" she yells and he hops in after them. He tries to cover them, bracing himself against the counter as Caroline clutches at Chris. 

It's no use. The water separates them instantly. Buck's caught in the current, disoriented, unsure of which way is which. His chest is tight, the breath in his lungs running out. When he finally breaks the surface, he starts yelling immediately.

"Chris! Caroline! Chris?" He catches a hanging phone line, gasping, praying it isn't active. He gets pushed under again, but comes up faster this time. He spits water out, gagging slightly. "Chris! Caroline?"

"Here!" It's faint, but Buck is immediately twisting, trying to find it. There, hanging onto the metal phone pole a few yards away, is a drenched Caroline, Chris smushed between her and the pole. She's scratched, bleeding from a few places, but Chris looks unharmed. Buck lets out a yell of relief.

"Okay! Okay, hold on! I'll come to you!" He hangs onto the wire, turning around to check his surroundings. He spots it across the street from where Chris and Caroline are. It's overturned, poking out of the water enough that Buck is 80% sure that it'll work. "Stay there!" He sees Caroline nod, hears Chris yell for him as he ducks back into the water. His leg is throbbing, debris hitting him at every angle. He has to keep surfacing to readjust when the current pulls him too far one way. Eventually, he pulls himself onto the pole with them.

"Come here often?" Caroline asks, though it's less funny since she's shaking and they're all in danger. Buck cracks a smile anyway.

"There's a fire truck over there, to the left. Do you see it?" He has to shout even though they're close to each other, the water rushing louder and louder. She nods. "Here's the plan. I'll take Chris, secure him to the truck, and then come back for you." He isn't trying to go full SEAL, but it's hard not to slip into habits. It would be better for them if he could flip the switch fully, but he doesn't want to scare Chris or Caroline. 

She shakes her head. "No. It's too dangerous. You go with him, I'll follow." He's about to argue, but she interrupts. "What if he falls while you're helping me? What if he's hurt? You have to take him and stay. Promise me."

He swallows, searching her gaze. Earlier, she had seemed older, so steady and mature. Now, the mere ten years between them is showing, the fear in her eyes making her look 18. He sticks out his pinky.

"I promise." They shake on it, Caroline shaking her head exasperatedly. She moves to give Buck access to Chris.

"Hey, little man. You're gonna go with Buck. I'll be right behind you, okay?" 

Chris whimpers, but goes willingly into Buck's arms. Buck takes a deep breath, diving back into the water. He works to keep Chris's head above the water, legs working overtime to get them to the fire truck. He hears a splash behind him, sending up a prayer that Caroline's a strong swimmer. He's a SEAL, had years of water training with more weight on his back than this, and he's still struggling. He gets to the truck, letting out a triumphant noise as he bangs into it less gracefully than he anticipated. He maneuvers Chris up and over the edge of the truck, jumping up after him. His heart drops. The water's empty. He can't see Caroline. 

"Where's Caroline?" Chris asks. Buck doesn't know how to answer that, so he doesn't.

"C'mon, Caroline. C'mon!"

There's splashing directly under them, by the side of the truck. Buck throws himself to the edge, reaching out a hand once he realizes it's Caroline. She throws him something, a plastic case, instead of taking his hand. She dives back under the water.

"Caroline! What the hell are you doing?" He shouts to the rushing water. There's no response, just Caroline breaking the surface again, tossing a length of rope up to him. He catches it, throws it behind him, and then reaches a hand down too.

He pulls her up and over the side, settling her next to Chris. She's panting, chest heaving, coughing up seawater, but she's alive. There's a long gash above her eye that's bleeding sluggishly. He pulls both kids into a hug, relieved. They're out of the woods, at least for now. 

Caroline motions to the plastic case. "Med kit. Thought we could use the rope to secure ourselves. Might be hard since it's wet, but better than nothing."

Buck nods. "That's a great plan, Caroline. How did you know where all of this was?"

"My dad's a firefighter. That makes us hon - honor -"

"Honorary," Caroline provides.

"Yeah, that! We're honorary firefighters!" Chris laughs. 

Buck's a little in awe of these two. They've been swept away from the pier, they're god knows where in LA, and they're practically stranded. But Chris is laughing, Caroline is still cracking jokes. Buck got crushed by a humvee six months ago and was barely able to get out of bed until two weeks ago. 

He loops the rope around Chris's waist, tying him to the truck. He trusts Caroline to be able to keep herself steady. Buck uses the alcohol in the med kit to clean the cut over her eye, closes it with a butterfly bandage. He looks over Chris, finding no more than a few scratches, but he cleans those too.

Caroline helps him clean a gash he has down his forearm, one that reminds him abruptly that he's still on blood thinners from the accident. There are suture kits in the med kit and Caroline shakes her head. "I don't know how to stitch." He also realizes that he lost his pull over in the current and that this is the first time the scars on his left arm are on display. Caroline hasn't said anything, but Chris runs a finger over them in awe. 

Buck waves a hand. "Not the first time I've done my own stitches. Maybe look away though." The pain is an old friend. Buck wishes he could say it hurts, but he's numb to it now. It's a startingly realization. 

Caroline places a hand over Chris's eyes, but keeps her eyes on Buck. Buck tries to keep conversation, to distract her as he sews his own flesh together, but he isn't sure it works. He finishes the stitches, Caroline helps wrap it, and they settle themselves in a line across the back of the truck. Chris is in the middle, Buck and Caroline on either side

They haven't been on the truck long when they hear shouting. Buck goes to the edge again, Caroline edging closer but staying near Chris. A group of about five people are being swept away, trying to claw onto anything they can. Buck turns to Caroline quickly.

"Was there a hose on this truck when you were down there?" Buck asks. She nods. He's about to ask her where it was when she stands. 

"I'll go down, pull it out. I know where it is, it'll take less time. You can take it from there." She dives off the edge of the truck before Buck can say anything. He stares, jaw dropped, at the spot she disappeared at. He looks back at Chris, who gives him a thumbs up.

"Is she always like that?"

"Like what?"

"Crazy," Buck says, watching as she surfaces again, the yellow of the fire hose in her hand. She climbs the truck, handing it to Buck. 

"I heard that by the way." She stands at the edge of the truck, between Chris and the water. "Go on, Mr. Navy."

Buck gives her a salute, tying the hose around his shoulders and waist. He dives into the water, hauling the hose across the street to tie it to a pole. He's not sure how long he works, getting people to the hose to give them a way to the firetruck. Caroline helps everyone onto the truck,  using the spare rope to tie a young girl around Chris's age to the truck. His leg is spasming, his chest aching, and he's trembling by the time he's done. More people kept sweeping by, so there's around twelve people on the truck now. 

It's a little cramped, but they just have to ride it out until the water recedes. The good news is, Buck found his hat. 

He climbs on top of the rig, hat shoved on one of his wrists. He does a round, making note of who needs medical attention the most. Caroline helps with it, splitting their meager medical supplies as far as they can go. He makes a makeshift sling for a woman with a broken arm, Caroline bandages two cuts and a broken rib. Chris makes it his personal mission to make the young girl next to him smile, which seems to be succeeding with the giggles he can hear from the side of the truck.

When they've done as much as they can, he and Caroline collapse next to Chris again. She's tied her hair into some sort of complicated braid to keep it out of her face, but her cheeks are turning red from the sun. He unhooks the hat from his wrist and plonks it on her head. "How did you even find this?"

"It swept by when I was in there trying to help someone. You're getting too much sun."

She checks over Chris quickly, trying to see if he needs it more. He looks fine though, so she adjusts it but sighs in relief at the small shade. "Thanks. For all of this. Sticking with us, helping all of these people. You're a hero."

He relaxes back against the truck, palming at his leg in a sorry attempt to find a relief from the ache running through it. "I just want to help."

She hums, watching Chris talk excitedly to the people next to them. "How's your leg?"

He glances at her. She just looks back. "I noticed it on the pier. You were standing on it differently."

"You'd make a mean Navy SEAL, Caroline."

She laughs at that. "Hmm, I don't know about that. Just good at watchin people," she tapers off, standing a bit to see over the edge of the truck. Buck follows her gaze. Bodies, floating by in the slowing current. Buck counts about seven of them. He feels his heart drop when he recognizes one of them. The old lady who bought him an elephant ear on the pier. She's face down now, her pink dress bright in the sun. He gives himself a moment, just a moment, to feel it. The ache at innocent lives lost. The guilt at not being able to save them. Then, he flips the switch.

He turns to Chris and Caroline, tugging the girl down. He pulls them both in, starts up a game of I-Spy and gets most of the truck involved. They aim it away from the water. A few parents nod at him, thankful for the distraction.

It isn't until nightfall that the water recedes enough for them to be able to leave the truck. Buck helps everyone down one by one. He looks at their sorry little group of about 15 people. Caroline has Chris in a piggy back ride, the mom of the little girl doing the same. Buck picks a direction inland, starts heading that way. He isn't sure where the city would set up the crisis hospitals, but he's pretty sure if they walk far enough, they'll run into it.

They run into Sergeant Athena Grant first. Buck has a new role model. And possibly a new mom. He can't really tell.

Athena is giving directions to another group of stragglers when they walk up. Chris has shifted onto Buck's back to give Caroline a break. 

"Excuse me, ma'am. Can you tell us where the nearest field hospital is? We've got a few here who need medical." 

He watches her take him in. His scars, his tags, the way he's doing everything possible to keep the weight off his left leg. The kid on his back that doesn't really look like his, the teenager on his right that definitely isn’t his. The group behind them that have followed Buck for miles. "Right this way, young man."

She leads them to a group of post office trucks that are taking survivors to the nearest field hospital. Buck gets Christopher and Caroline in, but waits to be the last one in. It's cramped. A tight fit. But Buck is excited about the weight being off his legs. One of his stitches on his arm popped earlier, coloring the bandage a dark rust red. 

Caroline rests her head on his shoulder. Chris is passed out on his chest. He got them to safety. He places his head on Caroline's, letting himself rest.

"118, this is Sergeant Grant, you've got a whole bus load of survivors en route to you."

"Copy, Sergeant Grant," Bobby responds. Eddie pulls on a new pair of gloves, adjusting his stethoscope. The 118 had bounced from group to group until settling at the VA field hospital, where they'd been for hours. Nobody had been able to contact anyone, and each of them had passed from calm, to pretending to be calm, to going crazy with worry regarding their families. 

They've been trying to take breaks, keep everyone on a 45 minutes on, 15 minutes off schedule but it hasn't been going well. More and more survivors keep pouring in with no backup. 

Eddie watches the post office trucks pull up, scanning through the crowds to see who needs the most help. He sees a man around his age talking to Sergeant Grant, curly hair, scars covering his left arm, dog tags around his neck. He's leaning his weight off his left leg, a bandage on his right forearm. Once Sergeant Grant finishes with him, he goes up to a girl with dark red hair and a blue baseball cap. She has a young boy on her back, but they're facing away from Eddie, so he can't see their faces. The hair looks familiar though, dark red and tangled in a complicated braid, the boys a mop of curls. She turns slightly, a vine tattooed down her the entirety of her arm.

"Caroline?" 

She turns fully towards Eddie, who's walking towards them before he even realizes it. It is Caroline, Chris wrapped around her like a monkey. Caroline has butterfly bandages down a gash on her eyebrow, scratches over her arms and legs. Chris, his gorgeous son, doesn't have any visible injuries. "Eddie? Oh, thank god, Eddie!"

She slips Chris off her back, lets him stumble his way towards Eddie. "Dad!"

He hits his knees, grabbing Chris and hauling him in tight. He runs his hands through his hair, presses kisses all over his face. The knot in his stomach has loosened, but he still feels like he might throw up. His heart is racing at the knowledge that his kid has been out in the middle of everything. He looks up at Caroline, whose eyes are glossy. There are huge bags under them and she looks dead on her feet. The curly haired man is next to her, letting her lean on him. He looks just as exhausted, but his eyes are a piercing and sharp blue. He has a small smile playing on his lips. 

Eddie stands, hauling Chris up on his hip. He holds an arm out for Caroline, motioning to her. She comes easily, leaning into the hug with a huge sigh. Eddie's always had a soft spot for Caroline. He's lived in the same neighborhood for a year, used her as a babysitter for an entire year, and has never met her parents. She's mature for her age, too observant, and used to flinch when he would move too fast. She kept a sharp eye on him when he was around Chris. He's seen those signs before. 

When she steps back, she motions to the man. "Eddie, this is Buck. Buck helped Chris and I when we were on the pier. He saved us."

Buck holds out a hand, which Eddie ignores, pulling the man into a one armed hug. "Thank you. I can't even begin to know how to thank you." 

Buck just nods, smiling. "Glad I could help. Maybe some water, though? Or maybe a bed?" Buck stumbles a bit, Caroline immediately coming to his side. 

"Guys, some help over here!" Eddie yells, turning back just in time to see Buck collapse to the ground.

They get the man to a bed, Eddie and Chimney supporting all 6 '2 of him between them. Hen starts checking him out while Chimney looks over Chris and Caroline. The kids are dehydrated, a little scratched, and probably a lot traumatized, but overall they're okay. Buck looks a little like he's been hit by a car. 

"Something's wrong with his leg," Caroline tells them. "And he got a nasty gash down his forearm. He stitched it himself, but I'm not sure if it held."

Hen glances at Eddie, who's still holding Chris close, whistling a bit. Stitching another person is one thing, a skill most normal people don't have. But to be able to stitch yourself? Hold the needle steady through the pain and do it well enough for the stitches to hold? That was on a whole other level.

"He's military, right?" Eddie asks, motioning to the hat and the tags. Caroline nods, taking the hat off and looking at it. "Navy SEAL, I think. I mean, he didn't come out and say it, but I'm pretty sure. We saw him on the end of the pier. I asked him to take our picture to prove to you that Chris and I went outside. I figured he would be safe, military and all." Eddie's heart sinks at that.

Hen starts a line while Chimney unwraps the bandage on his forearm. Only one of the stitches popped, but it's bleeding like hell. Hen pokes around a bit, finding bruised ribs and a few more scratches. She cuts into his pant leg. Eddie can't help but gasp. His left leg is entirely scarred, all pink and angry. The muscle mass is a bit smaller than his other leg. He looks at Caroline.

"Did he say anything about all of this?" He asks. Something in him is aching at the sight of Buck, passed out and vulnerable and injured on the cot. He feels a little like he failed again even though he just met the man.

Caroline shakes her head no. They end up putting some ice packs on it. Chris has curled up on Buck, Caroline collapsed in a folding chair nearby. Hen and Chimney are still attempting to triage, but Eddie can't find it in himself to wander far from his kids. Bobby gets it, sends the not very injured to Eddie, and doesn't call him out when he spends the majority of the time staring at Buck, Caroline, and Chris. 

He isn't surprised when Buck wakes up gasping for Chris and Caroline. 

"Buck! You're awake!" Christopher cheers, throwing his hands around his neck. Caroline pats him on the shoulder. Eddie comes over, pulling out his pen light.

"Hey, Chris, can I check out Buck?" Chris nods, allowing Eddie to move him to Caroline's lap. Buck looks at Eddie, slightly sheepish. 

"You don't need to check me over. I'm good. I'm sure there are plenty of hurt people here who need your help." Eddie shines the light in both eyes, watching the pupils react normally.  

"Not all of them saved my son. Just bask in the special treatment, okay?" He hands Buck a water bottle, instructs him to drink it as he takes his vitals. He's gentle as he wraps the blood pressure cuff around his bicep. 

"They don't hurt anymore," Buck provides. "The scars, I mean. I was caught on the wrong side of a humvee when ours rolled over a landmine. It was about 6 months ago."

"Any other things we should know?  Medical wise?" Eddie asks. He wants to ask more questions, ask about if he's really a SEAL, ask if he misses the action the way Eddie finds himself aching for it during his worst moments. He can't imagine how painful that must have been. He feels phantom bullets hit him, flashes of pain in his shoulder and chest.

Buck nods. "I'm on blood thinners. I was pinned under the humvee by my left leg, almost lost it. Threw a clot, had a pulmonary embolism. Tadaaa," Buck does jazz hands. "Here we are."

Eddie huffs a laugh. "You might just have the worst luck I've ever seen, squid."

"Depends on how you look at it. If I wasn't here, who knows what would have happened." They both look at the kids, Caroline talking gently with Hen with a half asleep Christopher on her lap. "What branch?"

Eddie takes the blood pressure cuff off. "Army medic. Two tours in Afghanistan."

Buck whistles. "Oof, the sandbox is rough. Major props dude."

Eddie just looks at him for a second. "The Navy SEAL is giving me props?"

Buck looks around a bit. "What gave it away?"

Eddie puts his hands up. "You'd have to ask Caroline. I'm just a grunt, I wouldn't have ever guessed SEAL."

"You picked an awesome babysitter for your kid, dude. She was insane out there. Helped me save all of those people. And Chris." His eyes are wide and blue, expressive for someone who's supposed to have no emotions. Buck seems earnest everytime he speaks, kind everytime he opens his mouth. Eddie can only hope to be that good someday. 

Eddie puts away all of his gear as he nods. "Oh trust me, I'm aware. Your vitals are good. Just keep drinking water, and if there's someone who can watch you tonight to make sure you don't pop the rest of those stitches, you're good to leave. Is there anyone you want us to call or try to get in contact with?"

"I've been staying with my sister, Maddie. She works at dispatch though, so she's in for a long night," Buck groans. 

"Alright, we can work with that. Hey Caroline," Eddie gets her attention. "Have you gotten ahold of your parents?"

She scoffs, running a hand through Chris's hair. "My parents would kill me if I woke them up coming back this late. Plus, no key. The first wave snatched my wallet."

Eddie claps his hands together. "Alright, looks like we're taking this party to my place."

Caroline nods gratefully. Buck's eyebrows pull together, a frown on his face. "Eddie, not to doubt your judgement, but we just met. Like, an hour ago."

And yeah, that's fair. Eddie has had a day. He's been jumping from emergency to emergency all day, worried sick that his son could be in the middle of it, just to find out that he was. He's tired, the type of exhaustion that goes bone deep. His hands are starting to shake and there's an anxious pounding at his temple. But Buck fought through a tsunami to bring Christopher back to him, to keep both him and Caroline safe. He's a Navy SEAL, the definition of selflessness and protection. Nobody sacrifices more than SEALs, getting the most dangerous missions with the least amount of backup. He can see the exhaustion mirror itself in Buck too, in the furrow of his brow and the bags under his sharp blue eyes. The least he can do is offer the guy a place to sleep for the night.

"Buck, I think if you would've been a danger to me or my kid, you probably wouldn't have swam through an entire tsunami to get him back to me. I can never repay you for what you did. Let me, at the very least, give you my couch and some food. Thoughts?"

Buck seems to perk up at the sound of food. Chris does too. "Can we go to McDonalds?" he asks from the crook of Caroline's neck. Caroline raises a brow underneath Buck's hat. 

Eddie rubs a hand over his face. "Hmmm, maybe, okay?"

Four happy meals, with two extra large fries on the side, later and the Diaz unit makes their way inside. Eddie goes into his room as the others settle around the table. He finds two old shirts, old pajama pants, and changes himself out of his nasty uniform. 

"I come bearing gifts," he says, holding up the piles of clothes. Caroline pumps her fist in the air, Buck reaching for a pile. He holds up one of Eddie's old Army shirts with an unimpressed look on his face.

"Alright, squid, I get it. Here," he holds out the pile to Caroline instead, who takes it without complaint.

"What's with the squid thing?" she asks, sticking a few fries into her mouth to make Chris laugh. 

"It's a nickname for Navy sailors," Eddie explains. "Each branch has different names for the other."

"Our Eddie here is a grunt because he was in the Army," Buck adds.

"And our extremely dramatic Buck is a frogman," Eddie counters, all innocent smiles when Buck gasps at him. He hasn't known the man long, but they could definitely be friends. It's easy to banter with him, to give it back just as good as he gets. Easy to trust with his son now that he's saved him from a tsunami. 

Caroline shakes her head, finishing up her food. "Can I use your shower, G.I?" 

Buck's laugh may be one of his new favorite sounds. 

Eddie nods. "Down the hall, to the left. Use whatever you need. There's extra toothbrushes and things under the sink." She gives Buck a fistbump as she leaves, extra clothes in hand. He watches her go, turning back to Eddie once they hear the door click closed.

"Her parents?"

Eddie shrugs. "Never met 'em. Been here a year, known her the whole time. She doesn't talk about them a lot, but from what I can tell, they aren't very nice people. She's over here a lot."

Buck's face flashes through several emotions all at once. Anger, guilt, familiarity. "Been there."

Eddie nods. "Yeah, me too." He looks to Chris, who's almost fallen asleep on his cheeseburger. Eddie scoops him up easily. "Make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna go get this one in the shower and then to bed, and then I'll bring some blankets and pillows for the couch okay? You and Caroline can duke it out for sleeping arrangements."

"Thank you, Eddie. I really appreciate it."

Eddie smiles. "Right back at you."

He gets Chris in the shower with minimal tantrums and complaints. He's asleep before his head hits the pillow, though Eddie is prepared to be woken up a few times throughout the night. He stays by Chris's bed for longer than he normally does, just watching his chest rise and fall. A few tears slip out, the final few knots in his stomach loosening now that his kid is home and safe. He can't help but feel incredibly guilty at not being there today. Logically, he knows that there isn't anything he could do. But his heart is telling him that this is just another reason that he's a terrible father.

When he finally comes back to the living room with blankets and pillows, he finds Buck changed and passed out on one side of the couch. Caroline is sprawled with her feet in his lap, passed out on the other end. He lays the pillows down on the coffee table, next to the Navy hat, and lays the blankets over both of them. He watches them for a minute, the two people who kept his son alive. Buck has one leg propped up on the coffee table, the bad one, and his head thrown back in a way that's definitely going to hurt his neck tomorrow. Caroline's hair is dripping into a wet stain on the couch. He smiles. He could get used to this. 

When he wakes up to find only a note on the coffee table, clothes folded next to it, and Caroline alone on the couch, he can't help but say he's a little disappointed.

Maddie opens the door to her brother, in the same clothes as yesterday, looking like he's been through hell and back.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"Can I change first?"

Maddie decides this is acceptable, but only after a long hug.

Once Buck has showered (even twice is not enough to wash away the feel of the seawater against his skin), he sits down and tells Maddie everything. The old lady, the fire truck, the fear of losing Chris or Caroline, the relief when Caroline and Chris ran to Eddie at the VA field hospital. The rest of his stories focus on Eddie, the way he is with Christopher, how comfortable his house is.

"So, this boy crush on Eddie... you gonna do anything about it?"

Buck groans, collapsing back on Maddie's couch. They have his bad leg elevated, icepacks all over it. It's throbbing, aching, pain shooting up anytime he moves. Maddie wanted to take him to the hospital, but he knows that there isn't anything he can do. He pushed too hard during the tsunami, so now he has to deal with the chronic pain. He wouldn't have it any other way though. Chris and Caroline are alive, safe, at Eddie's house. 

"What can I do? I didn't get his number. Even if I did, I don't have a phone to text him. I'll never see him again."

Maddie smiles, something small and hopeful. "What if I told you that I know someone who works with him?"

Buck looks up warily. "Who?"

"Eddie, why is Maddie texting me and telling me to give her your number in the name of love? Are you stealing my girlfriend?"

Eddie, who was innocently sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee, looks up confusedly. "Um, no? At least, I don't think so?"

"Woah, Eddie, did you make a move on Chim's girl?" Hen asks, joining them at the kitchen island. 

Eddie throws his hands up. "No! I've never met her! I have no idea why she wants my number!"

"Well, can I give it to her?" Chim asks.

"Nah, Eddie's too busy daydreaming about that SEAL who saved Chris during the tsunami. He was a beautiful man. And I like girls," Hen teases.

Eddie puts his head in his hands. "Will it end this conversation if I say yes to giving her my number?"

"No, but we can pretend it will."

"Sure, let's go with that then."

An hour later, Eddie receives a text from an unknown number. Hey, it's Buck. Apparently, my sister is "close" with someone who works at your station. Wanna meet up to tell me just how concerned her brother should be?

He looks up from his phone, seeing Hen. "Hen! Come over here!" He shoves his phone at her, pointing at the text. "What do I say??"

"Maddie is Buck's sister? What are the odds of that? Either way, you have to say yes! You haven't shut up about him since the tsunami."

"To be fair, the tsunami was only two days ago."

"Text that boy right now, Eddie Diaz."

You should be very concerned. Where should we meet?

Anywhere! Just don't say the pier.

They meet at a coffee shop after Eddie gets off his shift. Buck is waiting at a table with two coffees and two pastry bags. 

"Please tell me one of these is for me," Eddie groans, collapsing into his chair. 

Buck slides a pastry bag and a coffee over to Eddie's side of the table. "Thought you might be needing some caffeine. It's just black coffee and a cinnamon roll, but if you want anything else, I can order more for you."

Eddie bites into the cinnamon roll excitedly. "This is perfect, thank you."

Buck's wearing a short sleeved shirt today, revealing the scars on his left arm. There's a cane leaned up against the table. "How are you healin up?" Eddie asks.

"I'm doing good! The cut is already scabbing. Bad pain day for my leg though." He gestures to the cane. "Sorry about this."

Eddie shakes his head. "Don't apologize for it! It's not doing anything to me. Plus, my kid has CP. He uses mobility aids all the time."

Buck snaps his fingers. "That makes sense. I wondered what the crutches were for. I'm sorry I lost them."

Eddie lets out a surprised chuckle. "Buck, crutches are replaceable. My son is not. You made the right call." He grasps Buck's hand where it sits on the table between them. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much it means to me what you did that day. I couldn't be there, but you were. He's alive because of you. They both are."

"He's a great kid," Buck says, squeezing back. "They both are. How's Caroline?"

"She's doing good. She's watching Christopher today, actually."

"I'm assuming you asked her to take him somewhere else for some sunshine?"

They stay at the coffee shop for hours, until they're interrupted by Eddie's cell. It's Caroline, wondering where Eddie is. Buck steals the phone to say hello.

"Well, that makes more sense. Stay out as long as you want,” Caroline teases. “I'm not going anywhere."

Buck fits in their lives better than Eddie ever saw coming. He told Eddie to use his number for anything and picked up immediately when Eddie called him at 2AM with Chris sobbing on the other end of the line. He was at their house in minutes. Eddie didn’t want to ask how he got there so quickly. 

The first time Eddie is with Buck and mentions needing someone to watch Chris, Buck volunteers so fast it makes Eddie's head spin. He doesn't have any of the reservations he normally does when he leaves Christopher with people. Maybe it's because they've started having Buckley-Diaz movie nights that end with Buck sprawled on his couch, bad leg on the coffee table, and pancakes in the morning. Or, maybe it's because he's been at a few of the Grant-Nash barbecues since the tsunami, with Maddie in tow, and Chris isn't the only kid who's obsessed with him. Maybe it's because Athena hugs him and scolds him like a mother, or Bobby teaches him to grill like a father, or maybe it's the way Chimney already interacts with him like a brother would. Maybe it's because every single spot that Eddie thought was empty in his life is full now, full of sunshine and warmth and bright blue eyes. Full of Buck.

It's probably because Buck swam through a tsunami to get Christopher back to him. But the past month of constant support from the other man helps too. 

The point is, Eddie says yes with no hesitation. Buck comes over early, helps Eddie pack up for his shift, and then spends the next 24 hours cooking, playing Legos, and doing silly voices for book characters. And when Eddie comes back and expects Buck to run for the hills, he stays and puts dinner on. He stays, throws Eddie's dirty uniform in the load of laundry he'd prepped earlier, and settle's Chris in the living room with his toys. Eddie gets a home cooked meal and an hour to recuperate from his shift before he has to be at 100% again for his son. 

He hasn't felt so supported in the entire 8 years of being a parent. 

So, the next time Caroline is busy with school or another kid in the neighborhood, Eddie asks Buck. 

Nothing goes wrong. He comes home to a happy, healthy, and safe Christopher every time. Until he doesn’t.

It's about midnight and Eddie is 12 hours into one of the worst 24 hours he's ever had. He's in his bunk scrolling through his messages. Buck has a habit of sending him photo after photo when he hangs out with Chris. Today, they went to the zoo and got ice cream, so Eddie's iMessage is full of messy smiles and silly animal themed poses. He changes positions again, trying to get comfortable. He just wants to be home, longs for Buck's snores from the living room and Chris's giggles at attempting to stay up past his bedtime. He puts his phone down next to him, shifting again. He fidgets a few more times before a loud sigh echoes through the bunkroom.

"Eddie, for the love of god, stop moving," Chim groans. Eddie stays still, not responding. He lasts five minutes before he's rolling again, triggering four separate groans from Chimney, Hen, Ravi and Rodriguez. Eddie takes one for the team and heads out to the loft. He's making a cup of Bobby's hot chocolate when Buck's contact photo lights up his phone.

"Hey, Buck, what's up?"

"Do not panic, okay Eddie?"

Twenty Minutes Earlier

"Chris, I know I let you have all this sugar earlier, but I didn't consider the consequences, so what if you were really nice to me and got in bed just for fun?" Buck asks from where he's laying on the floor of Chris's bedroom with a nerf bullet on his forehead. He has to admit, since teaching Chris how to shoot them, he's had deadly aim. The kid is gonna be a crack shot one day. 

Chris giggles from where he's hiding around the corner, nerf gun primed at the ready. Buck takes that as no. He's about to get up, he swears, but he's really comfortable and not as hyped on sugar as Chris is, so he's exhausted. Christopher managed to walk most of the zoo, but there were still moments where he rode around on Buck's back. Now, miraculously, his legs no longer hurt and he's able to run around to his heart's content. So he's about to get up when Chris asks, "Who's outside?"

Buck is up faster than he's ever stood, twinging his leg in the process. He bundles Chris and his nerf gun into Eddie's bathroom, closing all the curtains in the bedroom quickly. He goes to Eddie's closet and opens the gun safe sitting in the back. He had a long conversation with Eddie regarding how he would feel a little more comfortable watching Chris with access to some of his service weapons, and Eddie had agreed, easily giving Buck the code to the gun safe that's been gathering dust since they got to LA. Now, he loads the weapon easily, grabs two of his throwing knives, and tells Chris to stay put and call 911.

Years in the SEALs had made him a little paranoid when trying to adjust to civilian life. But, he knows he’s not overreacting this time. He had seen a car pass by the house multiple times. He thought they must've just been lost, but it seems like he was wrong. While getting Chris into Eddie's room, he saw someone peeking into the living room window. Most of the house was dark, Buck trying to get Chris to bed to go to sleep himself. The house probably looks dark and shuttered, Buck parking his jeep in the garage since Eddie’s truck is with him at the fire station. The house is a perfect target.

Just as he closes the door to the bathroom, he hears the front door click open. Someone's trying to rob Eddie's house. 

Buck grins sharply, the adrenaline sparking through his body at the idea of a fight. It's been too long. The violence greets him like an old friend. 

Buck lingers in the hallway outside of Eddie's bedroom, sliding forward through the shadows. He edges towards the moonlight spilling into the living room, pausing to listen. He can separate three different sounds of footsteps rummaging through the kitchen. A fourth lingers in the living room. At least two of them are intoxicated, the smell of liquor hitting Buck from here. He pokes his head around the corner. The man in the living room is facing away from him, watching the ones in the kitchen.

Buck smiles, emerging from the dark.

He pistol whips the one in the living room, knocking him out cold. One down, three to go. 

The four in the kitchen turn immediately at the noise. Two approach, Buck hitting one with an easy punch, ducking the other's swing. He leads one out to the living room, catching him with a punch to the nose. He jerks back, stumbles over the body of the first guy, and Buck swipes his legs out from under him. The man's head hits the floor with a thunk, out cold. Buck throws a knife into the closest one's shoulder, shoving his shoulder into the last one easily. The last guy gets a lucky swipe in with a knife of his own, catching Buck down the chest. He hisses through his teeth, shoving the hilt of his knife into the last man's temple. He goes down hard. 

Buck stands in the middle of Eddie's house, surrounded by the bodies of four robbers. He shakes himself out of it, holsters his gun, and goes to grab Chris. 

"Buck! Are you okay?" Chris asks. The phone is in the tub next to him on speaker, the nerf gun pointed menacingly at the bathroom door. 

Buck throws his hands up in surrender. "Yeah, Chris, I'm okay. We're safe now. We should probably wait outside for the police and call your dad though."

“You’re bleeding!” Chris exclaims and Buck has to admit that his chest stings. He catches his reflection in the mirror. His shirt is sliced open, the gash going jaggedly across his upper ribs bleeding sluggishly. He’s bleeding from his nose, a lucky punch caught from one of the goons. His smile is bloody, but Chris doesn’t seem scared.

Chris lets Buck pull him up out of the bathtub. Buck picks up the phone. "Dispatch, this is Special Warfare Operator Evan Buckley."

" Buck," Maddie gasps. "I took Chris's call, I was so worried."

Buck has Chris hide in his neck as they walk over the bodies. The sirens are getting closer, Buck exiting the house to stand down by the road. “Maddie, I’m all good. I’ll need a bit of medical, took the wrong end of a knife to the chest, but we’re okay. I need to call Eddie.”

“Okay, be safe, call me when you’re done.”

They say their goodbyes. Buck stands with Chris on his hip at the end of the driveway, flagging down the police and ambulance. He sighs, grateful when he sees it isn’t the 118. 

He hands his gun over to the first officer he sees, his knives following. The officer seems a bit terrified. “I’m Special Warfare Operator Evan Buckley. The license for that is in the gun safe in the closet of the master bedroom. It’s loaded but has not been fired. The house belongs to Edmundo Diaz. I was home watching his son, Chris, when four unknown individuals broke in and attempted to rob us. It was self-defense.”

The officer nods, scribbling things down. Chris stays quiet in Buck’s arms, watching the ambulance curiously. “Where are the robbers?”

“Inside, in the living room.” The officer takes Buck’s weapons and heads over to begin his report. He sends Buck and Chris over to the second ambulance pulling up. 

The paramedic asks him the basic questions, hissing a bit when Buck reveals he’s on blood thinners. He’ll probably have to go to the hospital to have it stitched.

Athena comes running up before he can call Eddie. 

“Buck! Chris! Are you two okay?” she asks, worry coloring her voice. Chris raises his arms for a hug, excited to see her.

“Ms. Athena!!” Chris exclaims. She picks him up easily, running a hand through his curls. 

“Hey, ‘Thena. We’re all good,” Buck answers a bit tiredly. “Chris didn’t see anything.”

Athena hadn’t asked that and raises a slightly judgemental eyebrow at him for the dodge. Chris takes it and runs with it though. “Buck was like a spy! He fought four people! I didn’t even hear anything!”

“Wow, Chris. I’m glad he was there!”

Chris crosses his arms. “Well, I was his backup,” Chris gasps, interrupting himself. “Buck, I left my nerf gun inside!”

Athena laughs a bit at that. “I’m sure Buck is glad that you had his back. Maybe you scared them all away.”

Chris looks proud at that, which makes Buck laugh. Athena slings her arm around him, allowing him to rest his head against her stomach. She runs a hand through his curls too. “I’m glad my boys are okay. Does Eddie know?”

Buck shakes his head, looking up at her with glossy eyes. “I still need to call him. Athena, what if he’s mad?”

Athena looks a little shocked at that. “Why would he be upset, honey?”

“Chris was in danger! Four guys broke into his house!”

“Did you help them?” 

Buck scoffs. “Of course not!”

Athena pats his cheek gently. “You fought four men to make sure Christopher was safe. He isn’t going to be mad at you.”

Buck places his head in his hands, nodding. He pulls out his phone, thumbing at it to pull up Eddie’s contact. “Can you watch him for a minute?”

She nods. “Oh, it’s never a problem to watch my favorite Diaz!” Chris preens at the attention. 

Buck walks a little bit down the sidewalk, rubbing at the bandages on his chest uncomfortably. The phone rings for a bit, and then - “Hey, Buck, what’s up?”

Eddie’s voice soothes the adrenaline still in his veins. He’s a Navy SEAL, he’s seen action worse than this, but it’s hard for his brain to understand the difference between a warzone and his best friend’s kid being in danger. The switch is easier to flip with Eddie’s voice in his ears.

“Do not panic, okay Eddie?” Buck instructs, trying to keep his voice even. 

He can almost see Eddie start to panic. “Buck, what happened?”

“First off, you need to know that Chris is okay and is with Athena right now. He saw nothing and he wasn't hurt.”

Eddie’s sigh of relief filters through the phone, a tad static filled. “Are you okay? Are you at the house? I’m on my way.”

“Hold on, hold on. I’m fine, we’re still at the house, but we’ll be headed to the hospital soon.”

“I thought you said no one was hurt!” Eddie yelps. The sound of movement comes over the line, a locker door opening.

“I caught a knife to the chest, so I need some stitches. But we’re fine, I promise. Four guys tried to break into your house. I handled it. We’re headed to Memorial, if you want to meet us there.”

Eddie’s voice wobbles after a minute. “Okay, yeah, yeah I’ll be there. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Buck can’t lie, he’s a little shocked. He figured that Eddie would be single-mindedly focused on Chris, as he should be. He expected anger at Buck allowing the men to make it inside the house. He expected Eddie to never want him around Chris again. 

“I’m okay, Eds. Promise. See you at the hospital?” He knows his voice is shaking. His hands are too. His chest is tight, like he won’t be able to breathe again until he sees Eddie.

“On my way now.”

Buck hangs up, feeling a little less like he’s marching to the executioner's block.

Eddie is expecting a lot of things when he walks through the ER doors. He’s expecting Maddie, for one thing. He’s expecting Athena to be pacing the hallway. But the waiting room is empty of anyone he knows, and Chris is nowhere to be seen. 

The receptionist points him down the hallway to the furthest room on the left. If he’s being honest, he wasn’t aware the ER had private rooms. He opens the door, catches enough of Buck’s flinch to know that he’ll have to be gentle. 

Buck’s sitting on the bed, face still bloody under his nose. His shirt is off, revealing bandages around his chest that are spotted slightly with red, his tags hanging around his neck. The scars that line his arm and leg also crawl over the left side of his chest, dipping and carving, texturing the skin. There are other scars, ones Eddie can recognize as bullet wounds, others that are ugly and deep that Eddie can’t even begin to guess at. Chris is by his side on the bed, showing Buck something on his own phone. The hand that had made its way around Chris when Eddie opened the door slinks back to Buck’s side. Eddie makes eye contact with Buck, and he knows the other man saw him notice it. 

“Dad! Did you hear what happened? Buck fought four people!” Chris explains, already excitingly chattering away about the events of the night. Eddie pulls him into a tight hug that doesn’t stop the boy's fast rant. When he pulls away, he makes eye contact with Buck again. The other man’s face is carefully blank, stoic and numb. Eddie places a gentle hand on the man’s shoulder, his thumb finding the divot of Buck’s collarbone, his pulse thundering a little fast under the skin. 

“Thank you, Buck. For saving him. Again,” Eddie whispers. Chris is still talking, not really paying attention to whether or not anyone is listening. Buck’s empty mask breaks, his eyes going glossy as his mouth parts on a slight gasp. 

They’re interrupted by the arrival of the doctor and a nurse. They start to prepare to stitch the gash on Buck’s chest and Eddie sends Chris on a mission to find a vending machine. Someone must have grabbed the boy's crutches before they left for the hospital. Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if it was Buck, injury not stopping him from putting Chris first at all times. 

The stitches go easy, the gash deeper than Eddie expected after Buck had assured him he was fine. Eddie feels anger rush through his veins a bit at that. They would have to have a serious conversation on being honest about injuries. Especially when Buck gets deployed again. 

He startles himself a bit with that thought. They hadn’t talked about Buck’s service status beyond the fact that he’s temporarily in the reserves as he heals. There’s no question that Buck will return to service though. Eddie can see how much he misses his team everytime he talks about the 118 and their antics. But this is the first time that Eddie has considered it, has considered how he’ll be on the other end of a deployment, waiting anxiously for every proof of life and shitty video call. It’s the first time he’s considered it and the most shocking part of it is the ease with which he thought it, like there’s no question that he’ll wait for Buck to come back home. Like there’s no question that Buck belongs in LA with him and Chris.

By the time Eddie’s pulled himself out of his head, the doctor is giving Buck instructions on how to take care of the wound. The nurse hands him supplies to clean up the remains of his bloody nose, and is telling them she’ll be back with discharge papers soon. 

They sit in silence for a few moments before Buck breaks it.

“I’m sorry.” It’s quiet, like a confession.

Eddie reels a bit. “You’re sorry?” It comes out sharper than it’s supposed to, meaner. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been more ready. They shouldn’t have even made it into the house.” Buck’s looking forward, refusing to make eye contact. The empty mask is back in place, all traces of emotion gone. 

Eddie’s staring a hole into the side of Buck’s head. “How far did they make it?”

Buck glances at him, a sharp smile pulling at his lips. It’s all teeth, the blood from his nose staining them a vicious red. Paired with the empty look in his eyes, Eddie knows he isn’t speaking to Buck anymore. This is Special Warfare Operator Evan Buckley. And he’s downright dangerous when he’s angry. “They didn’t make it past the kitchen.”

Eddie tells the treacherous swoop in his stomach to stop it, the inappropriate spike in his heart rate to knock it off. He’s a little worried that Buck murdered four men in his kitchen. He’s apparently a lot turned on that Buck may have murdered four men in his kitchen to protect his son. He’ll have to figure it out later. “Why?”

Buck cocks his head in a silent question, but still doesn’t look at him.

“Why are you sorry? Did you kill them?”

“No,” Buck spits, refusing to look. Eddie stands, crossing to stand in front of Buck so that he has to. His heart is racing and he feels a little like an animal in a trap. Buck’s dangerous. Buck, his best friend, the man who saved his son from a tsunami, who saved his son from robbers, who is everything gentle and kind and sweet, went against four armed robbers and won and then apologized about it. Buck, who’s covered in scars because he was pinned under a humvee, because he was shot, because he’s a Navy SEAL who’s probably been tortured for state secrets, because he protected Eddie’s son. Eddie should be angry. Eddie should be worried that he’s been letting this man around his child. He’s never felt safer in his life. 

“Why are you sorry, Evan?”

Buck looks right at him, Eddie feeling pinned in place. “Because I wanted to kill them. Because they deserve it for trying to hurt Christopher. For trying to hurt you ,” he snarls. He’s panting, his teeth bared, fists clenched around the edge of the hospital bed. Something in Eddie sparks, bares its teeth in response. The ugly part of him, the part that longed for the warzone after he left it, the part that did its best work under gunfire, rises with it. He’s always been overly protective of Chris, easy to rile to a fight. The monster in him sees its mirror in Buck and it makes Eddie grin, sharp and slow.

Buck looks surprised to see that reaction. His fists unclench, his shoulders relaxing. He had expected anger, disgust at the blatant violence.

“Good. You did good, Evan. You protected him, just like I needed you too. It’s my turn to protect you now,” Eddie says gently. The final tension leaves Buck, allowing Eddie to sit next to him and wrap an arm around him. 

“You aren’t mad? Or uncomfortable?” he asks quietly. Eddie hums, hearing footsteps outside the door signaling the return of the nurse.

“There’s red staining my hands too, squid. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my son. Or you.”

If people thought Eddie and Buck were attached before the attempted robbery, then they were in for a rude awakening after. 

Buck’s only at Maddie’s about two nights a week, the rest spent on Eddie’s couch. At first, they hid behind Chris as an excuse. Chris often had nightmares, about anything from the tsunami to Shannon dying to the attempted robbery. It helps to have Buck there to calm him. 

On top of that, Caroline spends more and more time at Eddie’s as of late. She showed up one night with a black eye under the scar put there by the tsunami. She didn’t explain, didn’t offer an excuse, just asked Eddie if Buck was there and if she could spend the night. 

Eddie is now the proud owner of an air mattress. And two couch surfing vagrants. One cooks and cleans and the other watches his son for virtually no cost, so he doesn’t complain. He’d rather Caroline be anywhere than her home right now, and he can’t stand the days where he doesn’t see Buck, so it’s better for everyone like this. 

When Buck, Caroline, and Chris are all at the Diaz home while Eddie’s on shift, they tend to stop by the station at least once. Usually it’s around meal time and they come bearing food or coffee, though nobody would complain about their presence if they came empty handed. 

Today’s one of those days, Eddie smack in the middle of a 48 on a Saturday, so Chris and Caroline don’t have school and Buck isn’t with Maddie. They come in with containers of dessert, evidence of what they’ve been doing all day. He greets the three of them with hugs, holding onto Buck a little longer than probably friendly.

Since the attempted robbery, he’s made some startling realizations. The first is that he’s apparently attracted to wickedly smart, probably dangerous individuals. Shannon had been incredibly clever and stubborn enough to get into trouble most people would try to avoid. Buck is quick witted, intelligent, loyal to a fault, and dangerous enough to know the quickest way to kill a man without making any sound. The second is that he’s probably one of the letters in LGBTQ, but doesn’t care enough to really box himself into one. The third is that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with his best friend, a man he didn’t know until about two months ago. He thinks he’s handling it well.

Except for the fact that he can’t look away from Buck whenever they’re in the same room. Except for the fact that he’s an absolute grouch when he doesn’t see Buck for a few days, going as far as to sulk in the bunkroom during shifts. Except for the fact that he wants to hold his hand, kiss his birthmark, have his way with him against the door.

So, he’s not handling it well and he’s secretly speedrunning a sexuality crisis decades after he should’ve done it. It’s fine. 

It’s fine until Buck, Chris, and Caroline come into the station with dessert and sit down for dinner that’s promptly interrupted by a man in full Navy dress blues. Buck is up and saluting before the man fully makes it upstairs to the loft. Eddie’s instincts call him to do the same, but he keeps himself seated. Barely. 

“Special Warfare Officer Buckley, it’s great to see you again. Relax, kid, you know you don’t need to do that around me,” the older man says, pulling Buck into a hug. Buck goes easily, clearly excited to see the man.

“Commander McGarrett, what are you doing here?” 

The older man sighs a bit, clapping Buck on the shoulder. “Maybe we should talk in private, kid.”

Eddie feels his heart drop, watches in real time as Buck’s does the same thing. Buck looks back at the table, full of the 118, Chris, and Caroline, all with varying looks of confusion on their faces. Eddie’s pretty sure he’s the only one who knows what’s happening, though Bobby seems to be catching up. Buck makes eye contact with him and Eddie tries his best to come across as calm and supportive. He nods and Buck reads his mind the way he always seems to. 

“Sure, let’s go downstairs.”

They don’t come back upstairs for another thirty minutes, and when he does, Buck’s alone. He’s pale, but masking his sadness well. He sits back down by Eddie, who places a hopefully grounding hand on his knee. Caroline’s noticed something’s up, so has the rest of the crew, but Chris remains blissfully unaware. Buck finishes his food and they hang around until the alarm rings. Eddie pulls him aside before he heads to the rig.

“Are you okay? Can I do anything?” he asks, feeling desperate. He knew that being on this side of a deployment would be hard, but he didn’t think it would feel like being torn in two. 

Buck shakes his head, resignation coloring his face. “I’ll tell you everything when you get home. Be safe.”

Eddie can’t help himself, so he places a kiss on Buck’s cheek before running after his team. He looks back as the truck leaves the station and his heart aches at the sadness on Buck’s face.

Buck had been excited to see his SEAL commander, even though he knew what news he was coming with. It has been about a year since his accident, he’s back to full mobility, and he has three years left on his contract with the Navy. He knew they would be calling for him soon.

Steve handing him the large envelope in person in his dress uniform was not something he was expecting. “I told the brass that we owed it to you for you to find out in person. After everything you sacrificed last year, and the work you did during the tsunami, we owed you that much.”

Buck’s face colors at the mention of the tsunami. He had managed to save a few people, who apparently started a facebook group that then got Steve and his old team’s attention. He wasn’t surprised Steve had told the brass. He always did love bragging about their team. 

“When do we ship out?” he asks, ignoring most of Steve’s statements. He’d look through the envelope later, when he could feel all of his emotions in private. Steve looked a little upset. 

“I tried to get you more time. I know you’ve built something really special here in LA, kid. I’m sorry I’m pulling you away from it. You’ve got a week before you have to report to Coronado.”

Buck’s heart breaks again. He’s excited to see his team again, excited to hug Sparrow and mess around with Match and Finn. He’s excited to see Freddie and work with Steve again, who’s been on and off with the Navy since he started Five-O at the Hawaiian governor’s request. But Steve’s right. His sister is here, Eddie, Chris and Caroline are here. Bobby and Athena, the closest thing to loving parents he’s ever had are here. 

Since the robbery, he and Eddie have been attached at the hip, neither one straying far from the other. He can’t imagine it will be easy being a continent apart. He’s never met anyone like Eddie, someone as strong and smart and gentle as the other man. He still remembers seeing him at the field hospital after the tsunami, looking like a lighthouse in the dark, the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe they’ll be okay.

Steve hugs him again, apologizing in his ear. Buck pulls on a smile. “I’ve missed the team, missed helping people. It’ll be good to be back.”

Steve smiles sadly. “It’s okay to have something to want to stay for,” is all he says in response. 

When Buck goes back upstairs, he isn’t shocked to see everyone’s finished eating. He isn’t surprised to see everyone’s worried faces, Eddie’s sad eyes. The alarm goes off and he knows Eddie will be worrying for the rest of the shift, so he tries to be strong.

Eddie, who’s always seen every part of him, see’s right through him like he’s made of glass. He feels fragile enough that he might be. The kiss he places on his cheek feels like a brand, burns like Eddie lit a fire inside of him and made himself comfortable next to it. 

He feels warm inside for the rest of the drive home.

Caroline makes herself comfortable, Buck making a mental note to blow the air mattress up tonight. Her highschool graduation is on Wednesday and they’re decorating her cap today. She’s graduating with honors because of course she is. 

Chris decides to play in his room and Buck doesn’t have the mental energy to tell him to stay. Caroline dumps art supplies on the table and pulls her design up on her phone. She doesn’t start though, just stares at it. Buck bustles around the kitchen, making coffee for both of them. 

“When are you leaving?”

Buck leans against the counter, white knuckling it slightly. Caroline’s been around Eddie’s house a lot more recently, enough that Buck is comfortable saying he thinks of her as a little sister, possibly even his daughter. She looks to him for help with her homework or advice with her friends. He’s taken her to school a few times, even though she has her own car and can drive. He stays up with her when she can’t sleep, cleans her bruises and scrapes when she comes back after a night at her parents. There aren’t enough years between them for that, but sometimes, she looks so young, so scared. He turns to face her and sees that same look now. 

“A week from today. I'll still be at your graduation, don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

She looks up at him, eyes glossy. “What if you don’t come back?”

He heads back to the table, pulling her into a hug. She goes easily. She’s 18, one of the older kids in her class as her birthday isn’t till December, but she’s still a kid to him. “Caroline, I will fight like hell to make it back to you. And Chris. You have to know that.”

She nods. Takes a deep breath and gives him one last squeeze before pulling back. She puts on a grin. “You can’t get into too much trouble, frogman. You won’t have me as backup this time.”

He grins, his eyes a little wet. His voice shakes as he responds. “I’ll keep that in mind, kid.”

Eddie finds them at his dining room table, two coffee cups between them, glitter and marker all over Buck and the floor, a few hours later. He seems exhausted, so Buck adds a third cup to the table. Eddie falls into his seat after checking on Chris, taking the cup gratefully. 

“Bobby let me go early. Said I looked like I needed it.”

Buck nods. “Sorry.”

Eddie shakes his head, reaching across the table to tap him on the hand that’s holding his own mug. “No need for sorries. I want to be here for you.”

Caroline’s concentrated on her grad cap, but Buck can tell she’s listening. He gets up, heads to the counter where he put the envelope Steve gave him. 

He collapses back in his chair. Eddie is looking at him steadily. “You don’t have to open it in front of us if you don’t want to.”

Caroline nods, glancing up from her work. She’s the same as him, usually needing something to focus on during difficult conversations. 

He shakes his head. “No, I want to.”

His heart is pounding as he opens it. He’s never been upset to receive a deployment order, usually incredibly excited to see his team again and to escape from his lonely life in the US. But, he isn’t lonely anymore. Now, he has a family, a kid (or two), who will be waiting for him. He’ll be missing so much. Both Chris and Caroline’s birthdays, Christmas, Chris starting school again and Caroline moving to college, depending on where she decides to go. He’ll miss Eddie’s anniversary of becoming a firefighter and the anniversary of Shannon’s death and the anniversary of the tsunami. 

He opens the envelope. Scans the contents. Feels his heart sink as three years and infiltration and minimal time stateside stand out. They’re deploying him for the rest of his contract on an infiltration mission, meaning he won’t be back stateside for long as it's hard to be pulled out like that. He lets out a sob, quiet and deep, and the envelope falls from his fingers.

He gets up from his chair like he’s going to run, but sinks to his knees, vision blurring with tears as he gasps for air. His heart is aching, pounding in his chest, and there’s ringing in his ears. A thin pair of arms circles him, vanilla perfume hitting his nose softly. A stronger pair of arms wraps around them both, cinnamon and leather enveloping him. He breaks apart right there in Eddie’s kitchen, sobbing at the time he’s lost with the family he’s gained. There’s soothing words in his ear, a calming presence by his side, and he loses himself in it. 

He isn’t sure how long they sit there, leaned against each other and the kitchen cabinets, collapsed in glitter that lost its sparkle the minute he opened the envelope. He looks up when crutches make their way to the kitchen and around the table. 

“What are you guys doing on the floor?” Chris asks. 

Caroline lets out a wet laugh, and Buck sees that her eyes are red and puffy just like his. Eddie doesn’t look much better, his hair mussed and tear tracks down his cheeks. Eddie pulls his son into his lap, placing a kiss on his hair. Chris places a small hand on Buck’s cheek, patting it gently. Caroline has a tight grip on one of Buck’s hands, squeezing it every once and a while.

“Sometimes, you just need to sit on the floor to ground yourself when life gets a little too much,” Eddie says to his son. His voice is steady, soothing, but he sniffles at the end of it. Chris looks at all three of them, takes in their red eyes and clogged throats. He’s only eight, but Eddie is raising an incredibly emotionally intelligent human. 

He pats Buck's cheek again. “You’re gonna be okay, kid. We all are.”

Eddie lets Chris climb into Buck’s lap, not saying a word when Buck clings to him like he might disappear. Caroline doesn’t call Buck out for crying into Chris’s hair just like he doesn’t call her out for crying on his shoulder. Eddie places kisses on everybody's foreheads and orders takeout on his phone. 

They sit together as a unit, a messy, glittery unit until the food comes and Buck feels a little less like his life is being pulled apart at the seams.

It doesn’t go well, telling Chris the next day. The boy cries and screams and begs Buck not to leave until everyone is crying again. He only lets Caroline into his room for the next few hours, but comes around eventually. Now, he refuses to leave Buck’s side. Buck isn’t sure which is better.

Buck spends the majority of the day making sure his will is up to date, everything going to Maddie except for his savings, which is split into three. One trust for Chris, one trust for Caroline, and the rest going to Maddie. When he tells Eddie, Eddie gets this look on his face that’s been happening a lot more often. His eyebrows lift, his eyes widening, and his mouth dropping open a bit. He looks like he’s in awe of something, like he’s looking at the sun. Buck always turns, looking behind him, but there’s never anything there. 

Tuesday is full of making sure his fatigues still fit, his dress blues in good shape, and that he has everything he needs uniform and weapons wise. He’s been couch surfing for a year, staying in Maddie’s guest bedroom or Eddie’s living room, so he doesn’t have to break a lease or move anything into storage. Caroline doesn’t go back home and he doesn’t ask. Eddie took the week off. Chris is done with school now, so he’s home as well. They have every meal together and laugh at silly things. 

Wednesday is Caroline’s graduation, so they bundle her into her cap and gown and take a thousand photos. The entire 118 manages to show up, half of them in their uniforms because they have to immediately run to work after. But they still show up. They take up a whole row, Buck on the aisle with Eddie and Chris next to him. Bobby, Athena, Hen, and Chim and Maddie round out the rest of the row. They’re the loudest row there, and Caroline looks suitably embarrassed but proud when they get shushed by other families as her name is called. They end up hooting and hollering for the other students whose names are followed by silence. Everyone deserves someone to cheer for them.

At the end of the ceremony, Caroline whines about them being embarrassing, but takes pictures with everyone. She agrees to stop by the station so that Bobby can make dinner and makes a suitable fuss about them not needing to celebrate. She’s grinning the whole time, which ruins the illusion. A few of the students they cheered for but didn’t know come up too, thanking them. Buck hugs every one of them and says he’s proud of them. He didn’t have anyone at his highschool graduation, can still remember the silence ringing out after his name was called. He couldn’t stand it. He never wants to see it happen to another kid. 

Caroline doesn’t say anything about her parents. They’re nowhere to be seen. She rides with Eddie and Buck and Chris to the station for Bobby’s dinner and smiles blindingly when she sees all of the gifts next to the cake. The station is offline for an hour, and it’s an hour Buck will never forget, pride filling him as she opens her new drawing tablet he bought her. She had mentioned it offhandedly once after they watched some animated movie, how cool it would be to learn how to do that. How USC has animation labs with these huge tablets hooked up to monitors so that you can see what your drawing looks like in real time. He and Eddie had gone in on it, Maddie and Chim splitting the cost of the PC for it. She cried, thanking everyone a million times over. 

He and Eddie leave the station with two kids passed out in the backseat, smiles on both their faces.

Thursday is a family day. They pile on the couch and don’t leave each other’s arms for anything. When Buck looks around at 10:00pm, trying to figure out how to blow the air mattress up without waking the kids, Eddie pulls him up and to his bedroom. 

The man is smiling, and his eyes are wet, but his voice is steady. “Stay with me, Buck.”

Buck cocks his head. His heart is racing, and there’s a tension between them. He feels like they’re on the brink of something. He had noticed the lingering gazes, the touches that felt full of longing. He hadn’t allowed himself to hope that Eddie felt the same, that there might be a world where Eddie Diaz falls in love with Evan Buckley. 

“I know you’re about to leave. I also know that you don’t want to leave,” Eddie moves to his dresser, reaching into a drawer. “I also know that you will do everything you can to come back to us, to this family we built. Because that’s what you are. You’re a part of our family, Evan. And we need you.”

He hands Buck a jewelry box, hands medic steady as they always are. Buck’s hands are shaking in comparison. When he opens it, he sees a gold Saint Christopher medallion. It’s not the same as the one Eddie wears around his neck. This one has vines wrapping around the saint figure in the middle, very familiar vines. 

“This is a Saint Christopher medallion. Shannon gave me one before I left for Afghanistan, to protect me and to remind me of what I was fighting to get back to. This one is a little different. I had Caroline draw out the vines that are on her tattoo on her arm, so that it represents both of them. Saint Caroline represents the education of women, which I know you stand for, but it didn’t feel as applicable here.” 

Buck runs his fingers over the vines on the medallion, laughing wetly. He looks up at Eddie, who’s making that face again. He looks behind him, but Eddie catches his chin.

“Why do you always look behind you when I look at you?”

“Because I never think you’re looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Eddie whispers, standing closer. 

Buck swallows. “Like I’m something worth looking at.”

Eddie’s eyes fill with tears at that, one dropping down his cheek. Buck shifts the box to one hand, places the other on Eddie’s cheek to run his thumb gently under his eye. 

Eddie leans into the touch easily. “You’re everything, Evan. I’m always looking at you. I think I’ve been looking for you my whole life.”

It’s the easiest decision Buck has ever made to lean in and brush his lips against Eddie’s. Eddie kisses back just as quickly, something soft and reverent that quickly turns desperate and bruising. They’ll have to talk about it tomorrow, how Buck is about to be gone for three years, how Eddie will have to raise two kids on his own. 

But tonight, they tangle into each other, memorizing scars and tattoos and all the little spots that still hurt after all this time. Tonight, they crash into each other like they were always going to. 

Tonight, Eddie pulls Buck close and whispers into his ear, “I’ll thank god every day that the tsunami swept you to me.”

Tonight, Buck holds Eddie tight and responds, “I wouldn’t want to wash up on anyone else’s shore.”

Friday is another full family day. Athena and Bobby bring everyone to their house and they have a proper Grant-Nash send off. Eddie and Buck are driving to Coronado early in the morning, so they have it in the early afternoon to make sure everyone gets some rest. 

The kids are playing in the yard and Bobby has Buck captured by the grill. Eddie is standing with Maddie and Chimney, gazing across the yard lovingly. 

“I’ve never seen him this happy,” Maddie says softly, pulling his attention away from Buck. “I’ve never seen him this upset over leaving.”

Eddie’s heart squeezes at the knowledge that Buck is leaving tomorrow, that Buck doesn’t know how often he’ll be able to call. They talked early in the morning on Thursday after waking up tangled together. Eddie would wait a thousand more years for Buck to come home. He slid the Saint Christopher medallion onto Buck’s dog tags and tells him he loves him. That was all the conversation they needed. 

“How is Christopher taking it? And Caroline?” Chimney asks. Caroline is sitting with May, talking excitedly about USC. She decided against rooming on campus, though May had offered to be roommates. She wants to move in with Eddie, help him out with Christopher and stay close for when Buck is home. Eddie doesn’t technically have room in his house, but they have tentative plans to turn the dining room into a third bedroom, since they have a table in the kitchen. Buck had drawn up some plans for them. 

“Caroline’s handling it a little rougher than Chris, I think. Chris loves Buck, obviously, but he’s young. He doesn’t fully understand the danger. Caroline and Buck connected so quickly, he’s one of the only stable parts of her life. They’ll be okay, though.” Eddie has had some experience with kids and deployments, though to be fair, he obviously hadn’t handled it well. He has more hope this time. 

“We’re here if you need anything,” Maddie says, reaching out to squeeze his hand. He returns it happily. 

“Thank you.”

“This conversation looks sad,” Buck interrupts, coming up behind Eddie to hold him and hooking his chin over his shoulder. Eddie leans against him immediately, not worrying about whether or not Buck can take his weight. He knows he can. 

Maddie wipes some tears away, pressing a kiss onto Buck’s cheek. “Sorry, little brother.”

“Food’s ready,” Buck says, smiling as he presses a kiss onto Eddie’s jaw. 

They spend the rest of Friday with their full family, laughing and passing food down the table. Buck is gifted photos to take with him, making him cry. Eddie is there to wipe his tears, just like he will be for the rest of time.

Saturday is a mournful affair, with two sad kids in the backseat and an early morning drive ahead of them. Buck’s in his fatigues, duffel bag by his feet, tags and medallion over his shirt. He brings Caroline and Chris into tight hugs, crying silently. They hug him just as tightly, Eddie wiping his tears at the sight. He takes a photo quietly on his phone. 

When it’s Eddie’s turn, Buck pulls him into a bruising kiss. “I’ll come back. I’ll do everything I can to come back.”

“I know, mi vida. I know.”

“I love you.”

Eddie smiles, tears rolling down his face, heart beating in time to Bucks. His throat hurts with all the crying, but he gets it out anyway. “I love you.”

It’s hard, adjusting to life without Buck. His house doesn’t feel as warm, his life doesn’t feel as full. 

The 118 helps with the house renovations, and Eddie is now the proud owner of a three bedroom, two bathroom bungalow. Caroline cuts all contact with her family, gets a full scholarship to USC’s animation program, and moves in the day after it’s done. 

Eddie sends pictures he isn’t sure Buck will see over text and in a letter. He gets a letter back with pictures too. One is of Buck and Steve leaning over something in a tent, fatigues dusty. The next one is Buck giving a piggyback ride to a woman with dark auburn hair, the St Christopher Medallion bright in the fire light. There’s another of Buck leaning up against a humvee, a smirk on his face like he isn’t afraid of the vehicle that almost killed him. 

The first year passes with little fanfare, Buck managing to stop by on Christmas Day and the day after, Eddie smiling easily for the first time in a year. 

The second year passes a little slower, with less contact from Buck and no Christmas Day surprise. Eddie holds a crying Christopher and a melancholy Caroline, and the 118 does their best to rally around them. 

The final year is the worst. It’s around the 900th day that Buck’s been gone when a Naval officer appears at the fire station. It’s not the same one as the last time, but someone Eddie doesn’t recognize from the few pictures he got. 

He asks for Eddie by name. Eddie’s fairly certain that his heart has never beat harder. 

The officer tells him that he’s sorry. Buck's team has been reported missing in action after missing two weeks worth of check in’s. That there isn’t anything they can do, the mission too dangerous to try to send in a retrieval team. 

Eddie collapses in Bobby’s arms, his sobs echoing through the firehouse. 

Bobby takes the station offline, finishes getting the details from the officer, and sends him on his way. Hen pulls Eddie upstairs, places him on the couch, and tries to stop him from hyperventilating. 

Eddie’s heart feels like it’s snapped in two, the phantom beat of Buck’s that he swears he has felt for the past two and a half years missing from the back of his head. He can’t breathe, doesn’t want to in a world where Buck is gone. Doesn’t want to look at a world that isn’t bathed in Buck’s light.

It’s another hour before Eddie can manage a coherent sentence. It’s another before Eddie thinks about his kids. 

He gets off the couch sluggishly, turns to Bobby. “I have the B-shit coming in early. Give us thirty minutes, and then we’ll get you home.”

Caroline knows what’s happening the minute he shows up with the entire A-shift behind him. She collapses in Athena’s arms, sobbing in a way that strikes Eddie right in the chest with every inhale. 

Chris comes stumbling out of his room, eyebrows furrowed and lip in his teeth in concern. Eddie lets out a sob of his own. It looks so much like the face Buck would make when he was concerned he’d overstepped. 

They sit on the floor in front of the couch in a heap, crying and leaning on each other just like they did when they found out about Buck’s deployment. There’s no glitter on the floor, nothing to celebrate, and the 118 falls in around them. 

Sometimes, you just need to sit on the floor to ground yourself when life gets a little too much.

They sit in front of the couch, a unit that’s missing a soldier, until they can’t cry anymore.

It’s been 1200 days since Eddie has seen his fiance. Well, he never got to ask him, but he feels like the Saint Christopher Medallion did all the talking for him. 

It’s been a little over 3 years since Buck was deployed and then lost overseas. 

Caroline is almost done with school, spending the summer interning with Disney’s animation department. She’s home every weekend like clockwork though, never straying for long. 

Chris is 11 now, in middle school, and is growing like a weed. He’s up to Eddie’s shoulder already. It’s insane and not even logical to think, but Eddie finds himself attributing his height to Buck. 

It happens at the firehouse, because of course it does. 

Eddie’s washing the truck, humming gently to himself. He’s exhausted, Chris had been up all night despondent over the fact that Buck missed his first few weeks of middle school. It’s still just as hard to breathe as the day he found out Buck was MIA, but he’s getting better at finding moments of peace. He feels close to Buck when he’s at the firehouse, good memories filtering through his brain. 

Bobby interrupts his train of thought, calling him upstairs. 

The first thing he sees is Chris and Caroline, grinning brightly at him from the front of the A-shift. Chris is supposed to be in school, and frankly, so is Caroline, so Eddie places his hands on his hips, shifting into dad mode immediately. 

“What are you two doing here? You’re supposed to be in school! Come on, let’s see if I can get you there semi on time,” Eddie says, jaw dropping a bit when some of the A-shift stifles laughs.

Hen, Chimney, and Bobby are grouped behind the kids, like they're hiding something. Athena stands off to the side, Eddie just now noticing her presence. “Okay, fine, what’s going on? Did I forget a birthday?” 

“Not quite, kid,” Bobby says, motioning for everyone to step aside. 

Standing behind the 118, in full Navy dress, looking a bit like he got swept up in a tsunami (again), is Special Warfare Operator Evan Buckley. He’s already crying, his blue eyes wet and puffy, and his hands are shaking. Eddie stumbles a bit, Caroline immediately coming up to support him, chest heaving for breath. 

“Buck?” He hates the way his voice shakes, but he isn’t quite sure this is real. The sunlight is filtering through the windows behind Buck, making him glow, every bit the lighthouse that Eddie once compared him too. 

Buck nods, a hand covering his mouth. Eddie runs, crashing into the love of his life, not hesitating, knowing Buck can take his weight. He can. He pulls Eddie in, burying his face in the side of his neck, taking in the scent of cinnamon and leather like he’s starved for it. Eddie’s not faring any better, sobbing into Buck’s dress uniform, taking in the smell of ocean salt and gunpowder.

They fall to their knees, crying together. When Eddie finally pulls back, he pulls Buck into a bruising kiss. It’s harsh, all teeth, and Eddie barely registers the “Ew!” coming from his 11 year old. 

The 118 laughs at it, giving them a bit of space. 

“You’re here?” Eddie asks carefully. 

Buck has a new scar through his eyebrow, scratches down his face. He’s sure that he’s bruised and battered under his uniform. But he nods, blissfully alive and warm under Eddie’s palms.

“I’m here, love. I’m here and I’m not leaving again,” Buck vows. 

Eddie collapses back into his hold. Caroline and Chris come over, joining them in a heap on the floor. 

Buck talks quietly, about how he surprised Caroline at USC, Chris at his middle school, and then snuck into the firehouse with them while Eddie was busy with the truck. He talks about having to hide in Bobby’s office, because Eddie came upstairs randomly once and almost blew the whole operation before they were ready. He keeps up a steady stream of conversation, never letting Eddie wonder if he’s gone or leaving again. The 118 leaves them be, all having snuck into Bobby’s office to smother Buck with hugs while Eddie was clueless downstairs. 

Once Eddie feels confident enough that Buck isn’t disappearing to let him go and get up off the ground, Bobby sends him home. For the first time in three years, Eddie piles his whole family into his truck, and takes them home. 

Buck jumps into the shower immediately as Eddie orders his favorite food. When the Thai delivery guy runs into the Chinese delivery guy on the doorstep, he gets some concerned looks. It makes Eddie laugh. He can’t wait to tell Buck. His heart pounds at that idea. Now, he can tell Buck all the little nothings that happen to him throughout each day. 

They spend their evening curled on the couch until Chris and Caroline fall asleep, picking up each kid and placing them in their rooms. Eddie can’t help but linger in each doorway as Buck softly tucks in each kid, even Caroline who’s 21 and would be making fun of Buck for doing it. 

When Buck undresses to get ready for bed, he reveals bruises and new scars and at least one gunshot wound that Eddie can count. Eddie doesn’t ask, just hides the way his heart falls at the sight of his love hurting and leads him into the bathroom.

He cleans the gunshot wound, cleans the scratches on Buck’s face, puts bruise cream on his bruises, and pulls the scar lotion he kept in the drawer out. Buck makes a face at it, and Eddie pauses his ministrations.

“What’s wrong, love?”

Buck shakes his head like he’s trying to clear it. “You kept it. After all this time?”

“Always, sweetheart. I could never give up on the thought of you coming back. I knew you had to be out there somewhere.”

Buck furrows his brows, worrying his lip, trying his hardest not to cry. Eddie places a hand on his cheek, grinning when Buck leans into it. 

“You’re gonna be okay, kid,” he quotes, and Buck breaks.

Eddie holds the love of his life while he cries. Later, when he’s finally asleep, and he’s woken up in the middle of the night by the door creaking, he opens the covers for the two blurry demons he sees lingering in the hallway.

The blurry demons jump in bed, burrowing in between him and Buck, who’s instantly awake and cuddling closer. Over the tops of Chris and Caroline’s heads, Eddie makes eye contact with the rest of his life, his future.

His future smiles back at him with bright blue eyes and a blinding smile, light seeping from every pore.