Chapter Text
You are a death row inmate, accused of multiple homicides among other things. You tried your best to prove it was false but it didn’t matter. You’ve spent the last few torturous years in prison, forcing yourself to accept the fact that you’re going to die. You made no friends with any other inmates, they were all just as devastated as you. Or crazy. Or genuinely crooked evil pieces of shit that definitely deserved to be there. The only friend you had was yourself and your childish imagination that you prayed would follow you into a potential afterlife that you spent some nights praying for. everyday was a nonexistent daydream, until it was severed.
These strange men from an organisation came to give you a new option. They vaguely explained that there was a facility of theirs that had a severe breaching, ending with it being abandoned. We were picked to go in there to receive a crystal that this company so desperately needed. And if we got it, we would be free. No matter what.
You were afraid of death. And, as much as you hadn’t wanted to admit it for the past few years…you didn’t want to die. Even if you had lost everything you knew, something about losing more might just be the last thing you wanted.
Hearing this information of potential freedom made your stale self grow with excitement for the first time in years. You felt so much you could’ve been nauseous.
They must’ve seen the ecstasy on your face, because they quickly reminded you that this was a very dangerous task and you were most likely not going to make it out. There was danger lurking at every corner, but you didn’t care.
You said yes.
Before you could think, you were packed away in a ship sent GOD knows where. You were given a minor briefing, swim gear and a push into a submarine. Having no weapons made you think that this might actually be okay! if there wasn’t a need for weapons then… it surely wasn’t that bad.
Those hopeful thoughts were shut down a few doors in. The lights flickered and broke and you hid in a metal box waiting for this absolute monstrosity to pass. Its wailing hurt your entire soul, its presence spoke nothing but pure danger. You had never felt more scared to die in your life.
That’s why there wasn’t a need for weapons. They couldn’t be killed.
You stumbled upon more rooms, your hands shaking in fear. You felt like an idiot for thinking this would be fine. In some juvenile way though, the only thing that genuinely calms you down just a little bit is that it would be objectively cool to die to a monster instead of an electric chair. You power on.
During this you start to develop a vague understanding of how these creatures work, and how to find items. healing, puzzles. it was becoming second nature, to a degree. Maybe this wasn’t so hard? That childish brain was giving you a false sense of hope again. But you decided that it didn’t matter. If this is your last day alive, why should you care how it goes. it doesn’t matter. None of this matters. You are going to die.
Your heart hurts at that statement. Even during all of this, you can't bring yourself to accept it. You hate yourself. No, you loathe yourself for being this way.
Before you can wallow in your conflicting emotions, the faint sound of a high pitched scream could be heard. You think maybe it’s distant but… it’s getting closer. You panic, frantically eyeing the room for a locker or box or SOMETHING. only to be brought with nothing. No, not now! not when you had barely accepted this, you can’t!
something silver shines in the corner of the room. it’s a vent! You stumble to it, the high pitched scream coming louder and louder. It’s half unlocked. You could feel the sound of the monstrosity about to enter the room shake the floor as you manage to squeeze yourself in.
You shut your eyes tight and hastily crawl through the vent until your fingertips felt concrete floor. Relief hadn’t ever come to you faster, you think.
Once you squeeze out of the shaft, adjusting to the room’s brightness, your heart stops completely.
There is something here.
In the corner of the room is some sort of large creature, with a huge snake-like tail. Its eyes glowed, piercing through you with the intense feeling of intimidation. You aren’t sure what you’re exactly looking at but you don’t question it any longer.
You yelp and attempt to scramble back into the vent, but to your horror you feel something tug on your leg.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” a male voice fills the room. Its hand grabs your leg, bringing your body up to the creature. Your heart feels like it’s about to explode, and you prepare for death.
The fish entity flips you upwards, letting itself take a better look at you.
You feel a light dangle over your face. At first you thought it was a light from the room but you quickly notice it’s coming from the creature's face. The thing's face has three pairs of glowing eyes, a curved monstrous mouth and an angler fish lure. It squints at you, seeing your fear.
“Oh come on. You seem weak. I’m not going to hurt you. Not unless you decide to.”
They place you down on the ground, your head spins. You’re still shaking in your boots.
“I’m Sebastian. And if you give me the research you’ve gathered along the way here, I can give you some valuables to help you, potentially, get out of here.” He points to these valuables that are strapped to his tail, theres flashlights, medkits and things you didn’t know you could even get here.
You stare down, trying to process all of this. The man that you now know is safe stares at you, awaiting your response.
“Do you speak or what?” He asks blankly. You look back up at Sebastian and stumble over your words. “Oh, sorry- I just.. uh. I didn’t expect…”
He cuts you off “You didn’t expect a large blue fish man to NOT kill you? Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. Aren’t many things here that are safe.”
You can't help but chuckle a little at his statement. He cocks his head towards you at your reaction, like a curious animal.
You gathered your research and grabbed a medkit to take, he happily takes your research. For the first time today you felt just a little calm.
You grab the keycard on the desk and leave, giving Sebastian a small “Thank you.” as you leave.
You continue making your way through doors, the fear of this situation coming back to you.
You’re starting to realise how little process you’re making, it’s been almost a full day and you’re only at door 50. But you try your damn best to stay optimistic.
After a while, you reach a seemingly normal room. But after a few seconds of entering you hear a mechanical noise. Without thinking you bolt to the other side of the room, an alarming sound immediately plays before you feel intense sharp pain stab your entire body. Before you know it, everything goes black.
But then you wake up. You thought maybe you got an insane string of luck but… you’re just right where you were almost 20 hours ago. Being prepared to be loaded onto a submarine. And then you’re at door 100 all over again.
At first, you try telling yourself maybe that first time was all a hallucination. Being put on death row would do that to a once sane man or woman, and seeing deep sea monstrosities for a whole day probably made that worse… so it wasn't out of the picture.
But then you blacked out again.
and again.
and again.
Eventually, you reach the point where hallucinations can not be the problem here. You are stuck. You aren’t sure if it’s the same day because… you keep seeing new creatures and people and hearing new things. And the layouts are so wildly different every time.
But one thing stays the same. Maybe not exactly the same but good enough to feel okay. It’s always him.
His shop stays the same, his attitude towards you stays the same. Even light hearted at times, a part of you thinks he appreciates how kind you try to be. The other inmates coming in probably haven’t treated him greatly, knowing the type of people you saw back in prison. He’s the only kind thing you’ve met in… years, actually. So of course your dumbass it’s getting caught up over him.
But… well.
Sometimes you swear he says something strange. Not, really freaky weird but weird in the way that it’s related to this looping situation. He’ll say “Welcome back, stranger!” or a variation of the phrase when you walk into his store. And sometimes when you leave he’ll say something along the lines of “See you on the next run.”
Maybe he’s talking about meeting you later? He could be, considering that you never really made it 100 doors it’s likely he’s just mentioning that he’ll meet you later… right?
That idea, although it makes some sense, doesn’t fill you with any hope for this situation. The more you linger on it all the more nauseating it feels. You hate everything about this. You hate seeing your blood, you hate never seeing the sunshine, you hate feeling everything. You’re just so damn hungry, and sick, and you have been for YEARS. This was it. Were you going to be in endless torment forever? Why was this happening to you? Have you been cursed? You thought you were already cursed. Already doomed to a violent death. So why, what thing in the sky is deciding that you, of all people in the world, deserve reviving.
And then it hits you.
You need to die.
You’ve been so afraid of dying for so long that you never thought you could truly think that, but it’s true. You knew you weren’t ever going to get out. You tried drowning yourself, letting yourself get killed so many times, even trying your best to figure out an exit. You always died and woke up all over again. You don’t want to be awake anymore.
You tell yourself this over and over, and you die. The pain never feels better, it never feels normal. It is always the most terrifying thing you’ve ever experienced. And you wake up, telling yourself that you need to die and you never, ever do.
There was one run where you were at your breaking point. You knew that this was useless but you didn’t care, it was all you knew. You kept going.
You hear the clanking of a vent, the scrap metal flings itself to the other side of the room and you hear an oh-so familiar voice.
“Hey! Over here.. got somethin’ for ya."
The vent is cold, which isn’t helping your limp sick body. You feel extremely dizzy even hearing his voice. The pain in your skull feels like the weight of every pained being in the universe collectively trying to crush you.
“Welcome, welcome friend. I’ve got a bunch of limited items for the taking, make sure you’re not gonna waste these valuables.”
You attempt in your brain to make a faint smile but your face does not follow, keeping what you imagine a pathetic stare pained with sorrow directly at Sebastian. Thoughts feel like they’ve all gone to sleep. A part of you hopes it’s your brain finally letting you die. You just want to die. You want to sleep forever. The sound of words from Sebastian ring across the other side of the room, only getting to you after a fair few seconds delay.
“You’re… not gonna say anything? Not even one little facial twitch?” Sebastian crossed his arms, pouting in a mocking manner. He awaited your response, but you just stood there. Eyes glued to the concrete.
“…Did you see something bad out there?”
You suddenly feel slightly snapped out of your daze. The question brings back every nauseating feeling you tried so hard to avoid these past couple of rounds. “Oh god.” You mumble to yourself, Sebastian obviously hearing. The corners of your eyes feel sensitive and blurry. You haven’t cried in years. “Wha- Did you see something bad out there?” He asked exasperated, almost seeming stressed.
“No! No, no, you don’t get it. It’s not here! I-“ You don’t get much out before tears start streaming down your face. You collapse to the floor with both your hands trying to wipe the tears away.
With quick sobs and hyperventilating breaths you try to explain. “I… I don’t know how but… I think I'm d… dying. I keep dying. I die a-and then I end up at the submarine and I do it all over again.” This feels idiotic but you’re doing this now you suppose.
“And it’s not the same every time but… you still remember me? I… I don’t get it. I don’t understand anything.” You sob deeply into your shirt
“Oh god. Oh god, oh god… I don’t wanna die anymore. It hurts… If this is what my life is like then I don’t want to live anymore! I thought I was going to die anyway! Why won't I die? Why won't I die..?”
You look up and through your vision dampened by your tears, you can see Sebastian was listening the whole time. He looks at you with a genuinely painful expression on his face. You swear he looks like he’s going to cry too. Did you say something bad?
There’s a still moment of silence in the room. You continue sobbing into your suit sleeves, and it’s the only noise that comes between you for a while until he finally speaks up.
He sighs “I know. I keep seeing you. More than any other expendable that comes by here. I thought you were just resilient at first but… well one time I saw your dead corpse in the hallway. Picked up some loot on ya… and then you came by my shop a few hours later.”
Sebastian leaned closer from across the room. “I suppose you could… always stay here if you don’t want to die so badly. You don’t seem trouble, but I won’t think twice to kick you out for good if you start some.” Your heart feels warm, but it’s halted by a realisation. “If they see that I’m in the same area for too long they’ll kill me. Urbanshade I mean, my equipment…”
Sebastian cuts you off. “I can disable it.”
You are caught off guard. You didn’t think it was possible to disable it. This takes away at least one of your options of death, you suppose. Maybe you could live in this place..? No, it was hell down here. But this was all you were going to get.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” You replied with small stifling sobs.
Sebastian's eyes squeeze, in the way that you know he’s a little amused.
“But don’t think that you can bum around here. You OWE me, remember? I’ve got a lot of unfinished business and if I’m letting you stay you gotta help me with my issues. Er… physical issues.”
You couldn’t help but smile for the first time in what felt like weeks. You lift yourself up and walk closer to Sebastian. You stare at him for a minute, feeling a dopey smile spread across your face.
“…What? What, why are you looking at me like that?”
You chuckled to yourself as you say yet again.
“Thank you.”