Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Becoming invisible has always been an escape for him. Ivan slips on an old, comfortable leather jacket and sunglasses and enters the kind of bar no one of his status would ever bother with. No one even looks up when he enters.

The way people mindlessly fawn over him always makes his skin crawl. But for a short while, Ivan can be nobody at all. He's unnoticed as he sits down at the bar and orders a daiquiri.

It's not a very big place, but there's a stage off to the side with an amp and microphone set up. Ivan has no desire to perform in his off hours, so it's going to remain empty unless someone else steps up.

Half of his drink is finished when a tap on the microphone draws his attention. Ivan settles his gaze on the man standing on stage with a guitar. He's instantly ensnared, unable to look away. 

He burns each detail into his memory. Chipped black nail polish. A silver barbell through one eyebrow, and half a dozen piercings in his ears. The chain hanging from his belt. Worn combat boots. Ivan refuses to miss any detail about him, no matter how small or insignificant.

The man clears his throat and introduces himself as Till. A perfect name. It burrows into his brain, and Ivan can already taste it on his lips.

Ivan expects the voice of an angel, but Till's singing is far better than that. He's so alive. Alive in a way Ivan has never been. Each word drips with passion, his fiery spirit on display through his voice.

He's never sung like this. Ivan sings only because it's expected of him, because Unsha decided he would have a singing career. He never sings for his own pleasure. But Till's singing feels joyful. He was made to sing.

Till's instrument perfectly complements his voice. He's clearly talented, more talented than any of the guitarists Ivan has met. How is he not already adored by the entire world?

Ivan only breathes when the song ends, and Till flashes an exhilarated smile before launching into the next one. He must be high on the adrenaline of performing. Ivan feels a rush, but not as powerful as this. Till's consumes him, and he becomes merely a conduit for his song to reach the audience.

Ivan's drink is forgotten as he leans closer, determined not to miss a single moment. 

Till's performance lasts both an eternity and only a few seconds at once. Once he thanks the bar for their attention and detaches his guitar from the amp, Ivan leaps to his feet. 

He can't allow Till to walk away. Ivan needs to lay himself at Till's feet and beg to be allowed to bask in his perfection, to hear more of his singing, for Till to carve himself into Ivan's flesh so Ivan can never forget him.

Till steps off the stage and sets his guitar case down on an empty table to pack the instrument away. He's gentle with it, and Ivan wonders if those same hands would be as careful with him.

“Till.” His name sounds as perfect on Ivan's lips as he knew it would.

“Hm?” He looks up, and Ivan decides that green is his new favorite color as he gets lost in Till's eyes.

Ivan pulls off his sunglasses so their eyes can meet, and a flicker of recognition fills Till's as he takes in Ivan's face. “Wait, you’re–”

Ivan shakes his head, even as his heart leaps. Till knows who he is; Ivan isn’t a stranger to the man who’s filled his empty heart. But he doesn't want Till to announce his identity to everyone. Ivan doesn’t want anyone intruding on their conversation to ask for pictures or autographs.

He takes hold of Till's arm, his fingers tingling at the skin-on-skin contact. He wants more, to feel every inch of Till's skin. But for now, he guides Till to the little hallway that leads to the bathrooms and the back door.

Ivan's hand remains on his arm as he stops and turns back to Till. He can be selfish and allow himself this small touch.

“You're Ivan,” Till states. It's not a question.

“I am.” Is Till a fan? But Ivan doesn't care about his own music, he only wants to talk about Till's.

Till doesn't say anything, staring at him in shock. Has he never met a celebrity before? He must not know what to say. It's adorable.

“I enjoyed your performance. Do you write your own songs? I've never heard anything like them.”

Till's cheeks fill with pink as he nods, turning shy. “I-I do. I have more, if you're actually interested.”

“I'm very interested,” he confirms with a smile.

Till blinks at him for a few seconds before giving the name of his Youtube channel. Ivan immediately looks it up and subscribes; he can't wait to listen to every song as many times as he can.

But that won't be enough for him. Ivan wants the living, breathing Till before him, not just a recording of his voice. 

“Can I have your number?” He asks, since he still has his phone out. If he has a way to contact Till, Ivan can see him again.

“My number?” Till echoes, eyes widening. A flash of silver shows inside his mouth as he speaks, and Ivan realizes his tongue is pierced.

“I want to tell you what I think of each song. I'd also love to take you out to dinner sometime, if you're willing.” He so badly hopes Till is willing, but braces himself for rejection. 

“Like on a date?”

“If you'd like it to be.” If Till isn't looking for romance, Ivan will satisfy himself with friendship. Being close to Till will be enough; it's more than he deserves.

Till recites his phone number, flustered enough that he stumbles over the digits a few times and has to pause to remember the last few.

It's immediately saved in Ivan's phone as “Till❤️❤️❤️” as he grins. Till didn't say no to his offer of a date. He must want his one chance to go out with a famous singer, to have a story to tell his friends. But Ivan is content with that. If he won't have a second date, it will make the first and only one all the more precious to him. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Ivan offers. He wants more, for Till to never leave his side. He doesn’t want their encounter to end yet.

“What if someone recognizes you? It's pretty crowded here, people might bother you.” Till frowns softly, and Ivan loves it as much as his smile. 

“You don’t need to worry about me, but we can go somewhere else.”

“I play at some of the other bars nearby, but none of them will be quiet on Friday night.” A small, adorable wrinkle appears between Till’s brows as he thinks.

“We could go back to my place.” It's risky to offer, but he wants to be alone with Till. They can be the only two people in the world.

Till takes a few seconds to digest his words. He looks intrigued. “Just for a drink? No way that's all you want.”

He's never wanted anything as badly as he wants Till. Ivan leans closer, wondering how he can possibly be so lucky as to have Till's interest. “What else did you have in mind? I want whatever you do.”

Till licks his lips, Ivan carefully following the motion. “Are you seriously trying to hook up with me?”

“Only if you want to.” Ivan hardly dares to breathe as he leans in further. His heart is pounding, and he finally feels truly alive. He'd happily spend every day of the rest of his life at Till's side to never again feel so cold.

Till tugs him down by his jacket collar and kisses him. Ivan has kissed before, but never like this. Till's fervent, messy kiss consumes him, and Ivan eagerly drowns in it. If only he could devour Till through their kiss, so they could forever be together.

His eyes remain open, unnoticed by Till's closed ones. This close, Ivan notices how long his eyelashes are. He can also confirm Till is wearing mascara and dark eyeshadow, which only makes him look more stunning.

He presses against the seam of Till's lips, begging for a taste. Till opens his mouth and tangles his fingers in Ivan's hair, lightly tugging on the strands as Ivan maps every corner of his mouth.

A soft moan slips past Till's lips, the sound just as beautiful as his singing voice. Ivan wants to hear every possible sound from him, to catalog them all.

But they're still in public. As soon as someone comes looking for the bathroom, they’ll be interrupted. Furthermore, Till deserves somewhere nicer to be worshipped.

Ivan tries to drag himself away, but can't resist coming back to press his lips against Till's a few more times. He finally manages to stop, both of them breathing heavily. He's never been this hard before.

Till tugs on his arm, and Ivan obediently follows him out of the bar after Till stops to grab his guitar. He fishes his keys out of his pocket and unlocks his car, reluctantly removing his arm from Till's hold to climb inside after he helps him put his instrument in the backseat.

But Till follows, straddling him in the enclosed space. He bumps his hip on the steering wheel with a wince and only narrowly avoids his head hitting the roof, but Ivan doesn't care how undignified he is.

His hands settle on Till's waist as they kiss, delighting in the way they can almost fully wrap around Till's small waist. Till shivers when his grip tightens slightly, he must like it too.

“W-wait, stop for a second,” Till gasps, parting their lips.

Till must have realized this is a bad idea. He's going to leave, and Ivan won't chase him, despite how badly he wants to. 

There's a few seconds of nervous fidgeting before Till speaks. “I would have had time to tell you if you didn't invite me over for sex five minutes after we met, but I'm trans. I don't have bottom surgery, so I get it if you change your mind.”

Ivan stares silently at him for a few moments as he realizes this isn’t a rejection. Till is worried he'll want to back out? He thinks Ivan could possibly find his body anything but perfect? However he looks naked, Ivan will love it.

“I don't care.” Ivan shoves their mouths together, catching a small surprised noise from Till as he relaxes, his tongue pushing back against Ivan's own until he tastes the metal of Till's piercing.

Till shifts forward, placing himself on top of Ivan's cock and grinding against him. He startles a bit when Ivan's cool hands slip under his shirt, quickly stealing Till's warmth.

Ivan caresses his soft skin, fingers drifting over Till's hip bones and up to the curve of his waist. He presses his thumbs in a bit, wishing he could be inside Till's skin, to feel him even more. 

Till grabs one of his wrists and pulls Ivan's hand down to the hem of his pants, unwilling to stop kissing to verbalize what he wants. Ivan tugs the zipper down and slips his hand beneath Till's boxers. His arm is bent at an awkward angle to fit between their bodies and there isn't much room to move in the front seat, but he pushes his fingers through soft curls and finds the lips of Till's cunt.

He's wet, soaking his boxers and Ivan's fingers. The realization makes Ivan’s head spin, and he's sure he's about to cum in his pants. He did this to Till, and this reaction is his alone to witness. 

Ivan can't get his fingers inside Till at this angle, and can only rub against his cunt. Till whines into his mouth, his hips bucking at the stimulation.

“I need to take you home,” Ivan groans, dragging his hand out of Till’s pants. “Can't touch you properly here.”

He's sure Till's going to protest, his eyebrows drawing together in the beginning of a scowl, but he breathes out and gives a hesitant nod before he scrambles into the passenger seat.

Ivan is so dazed that he's surprised he even remembers where he lives. He manages to pull out of the parking lot and onto the road, and one of his hands leaves the wheel to settle on Till's thigh.

His eyes keep sliding over to Till of their own volition, drinking him in. He's flushed, his hair messy and pants still unzipped. He's beautiful. The car begins to drift into the next lane as Ivan fixates on the curve of Till's neck, imagining leaving a mark.

“Focus on the road, idiot! You’re going to kill us!” Till hisses, reminding Ivan of the way a cat puffs up when it's angry. He stiffens once his little outburst is over, warily watching for Ivan's reaction.

But he can't possibly be angry in return. Ivan laughs, reveling in Till's flash of emotion. He doesn't mind Till being upset with him. As long as Till feels something towards him, he's satisfied.

Before he focuses his eyes back on the road, he catches a flicker of surprise from Till. Ivan resists the urge to look back at Till as he drives, but keeps stroking his thigh, unable to stop touching him.

Ivan has never been more grateful for the perks that come with living in such an exclusive building. The underground parking lot has plenty of space, and no one else is around.

He stops to pin Till against the side of the car and kisses him a few times before leading him to the elevator. Once he scans his resident keycard, the elevator starts moving.

“How much does a fancy apartment like this even cost?”

“A lot. But the security is good, no one has ever come in to bother me. Someone broke into my previous apartment while I was gone and stole some of my things.” He hardly minded, truthfully. But as his manager, Sua insisted he move somewhere safer. Ivan accepted because he wasn't doing anything better with the money, he's never spent much.

His apartment is the only one on the twelfth floor, and the elevator opens directly into his living room. 

Ivan only makes it a few steps inside before Till is in his arms, kissing him again. He tries to slowly maneuver them towards the bedroom, but only makes it as far as the kitchen before Till ends up pinned against a counter.

Till pulls back to yank his shirt and binder over his head and toss them aside, and Ivan takes the chance to undress himself. 

He gets his shirt off, but is too distracted admiring Till to work on his pants. Till has a treble clef tattooed on his left hip, and Ivan can't help but run his fingers over it. His nipples are pierced too, but Ivan isn't sure if it's alright to touch his chest.

“Just fuck me here,” Till huffs, pulling Ivan flush against him. 

“You deserve a bed,” he murmurs against Till's lips, taking hold of his hand and leading him into the hallway despite the allure of bending Till over the counter.

“I'm not some virgin,” Till complains. He's so cute when he's annoyed.

He already assumed he wasn't Till's first, but Ivan selfishly wants to be unforgettable, for their encounter to live on in a corner of Till's mind once Till loses interest in him. 

“I still want to take care of you.” He pushes the door to his bedroom open and leads Till inside, right to the bed.

Till grabs his arm and pulls Ivan on top of him as he falls back onto the bed, sinking into the plush mattress. 

No matter how many of Till's kisses he has, it's not enough. Ivan kisses him again, sucking on his tongue and pulling a lovely moan from Till as he fumbles to strip him. 

As soon as Till is naked, Ivan's finger sinks into him. Till cries out and his teeth sink into Ivan's lip, the pain just as heavenly as the pleasure Till grants him.

Till is hot and wet and absolutely perfect. He makes the cutest little noises when Ivan's finger moves inside him, and Ivan adds another to encourage him to keep going.

Bearing down on his fingers, Till tries to push them deeper. Fuck, he's so needy. Ivan can't wait to be inside him. He’s sure he’ll die without it.

Till whines and bites his lip when Ivan brushes over his clit, and Ivan realizes it must be pierced too. He gives a small tug on the bead, and Till's entire body shudders with pleasure.

It's worth breaking their kiss to tease, to prod at Till and discover his weak spots. “Do you need me so badly that my fingers aren’t enough? It's going to hurt if I put it in now, you’re still so tight.”

Till scowls. “I can take it—oh, fuck, right there!” His sour expression is instantly wiped away, and he moans loudly when Ivan gives him another finger. 

Laughing, he kisses the sharp curve of Till's jaw, then a tiny freckle on his neck as he crooks his fingers to press against the same spot that makes Till shiver.

“Just put it in,” Till groans as he digs his fingers into the sheets, adding a soft, begrudging, “please, Ivan.”

Hearing his name fall from Till's lips so naturally makes it impossible to resist. Ivan finally frees his cock, precum spilling from the flushed tip. Ivan could cum on the spot if Till ordered him to.

“Fuck, you're going to break me.” Till is staring, practically drooling over the size of his cock. He clenches around Ivan's fingers.

“Do you want me to break you?” He asks with a grin. Till is more of a slut than he anticipated, but it's a welcome surprise. Every new side of him is just as wonderful as the last.

“God, yes. Hurry up.” Till groans at the loss when his fingers withdraw, his eager gaze fixing on Ivan's cock pressing against his entrance.

“Can you take it all at once, or do you need me to go slow?” He sets an obvious trap, hoping Till will rush right in.

“I can! Don’t treat me like I’m weak!” Till insists, falling for it so easily that Ivan almost feels bad for taking advantage of him. 

This is the real Till. Irritable, stubborn and needy. Full of emotion he can't hide. He's so clearly flawed, but it makes him more perfect in Ivan's eyes. Till's sharp edges will draw blood and leave him with scars, shattering Ivan's mask of bland, rounded perfection to reveal the twisted creature inside.

Ivan shoves his cock inside all at once, and it takes every scrap of his willpower not to immediately cum. Till feels even better than he imagined, almost heavenly, tightly clinging to his cock as if he'll never let go. His cockhead presses against the front of Till's abdomen from the inside, forming a small bump. 

Tears spring to his eyes, but Till refuses to complain. He grits his teeth and breathes through the pain, and Ivan feels the tension gradually drain from his body. He helps by tracing gentle, distracting patterns across Till's body until he nods up at Ivan.

Drawing his hips back, he pushes himself deep into Till’s greedy cunt with a groan. Ivan is sure he won't be able to last long, his release is already creeping up on him.

Till's nails harshly dig into his shoulders in response. “F-fuck, too big…”

“So I should pull out?” Ivan asks sweetly, already knowing the answer as he leans in for a kiss.

“Don't!” Till bites down hard on his lip. He looks so lovely with a drop of Ivan's blood smeared across his mouth that Ivan desperately needs to ruin him.

Ivan shoves his cock inside over and over, not giving Till a moment to rest. He can't possibly stop when it feels so good.

Till's nails harshly rake down his back as his mouth falls open. His moans are loud and unrestrained, as beautiful as his singing voice.

“You're so perfect, Till. So, so perfect.” Ivan sucks on a spot on his neck, adding a bit of teeth, until he's sure Till will have a hickey. 

“Ivan!” Till shudders, and tears stained with mascara start to spill down his cheeks. But it's clear he doesn't want to stop from how tightly he's clinging to Ivan.

Till is even more beautiful when he cries. Ivan’s tongue darts out and tastes one of Till's tears, uncaring about the makeup they're mixed with. There's a hint of salt, and he follows the trail up to Till's eyelashes. 

Tilting his head up and pursing his lips, Till silently begs for a kiss. Laughing, Ivan barely brushes their lips together before pulling back, making Till chase him.

“Gonna, fuck, gonna kill you,” Till groans, shoving their lips together hard enough their teeth meet and biting down. Ivan loves every second of it.

Once they part, each of Till's reactions is carefully studied for Ivan to determine how best to make him fall apart. Till doesn't have to say anything for Ivan to know he loves when Ivan's fingers dig into his hips and thrusts into him so deep he hits Till's cervix, and the outline of Ivan's cock is visible through his skin.

Till buries his face in Ivan's shoulder and wails as his orgasm slams into him, and Ivan can't possibly hold back. Till is weakly rocking his hips, silently begging Ivan to cum too.

Clutching Till close, Ivan blissfully fills him to the brim. He never asked if it was safe to finish inside, but Till isn't coherent enough to answer the question. 

If Till does end up pregnant from this, nothing in the world will be able to stop him from taking responsibility. Ivan will happily marry him on the spot so he won't ever have to worry about anything.

Whining pathetically, Till tries to stop him from pulling out. He shudders as Ivan's half-hard cock drags out of him, cum dripping from his flushed cunt to mark the sheets.

Till is so pliant, easily placed on his hands and knees for Ivan to enter him again from behind. He's so pretty when he arches his back, eagerly allowing Ivan to fuck him again. He releases a beautifully slutty moan when Ivan tugs his hair to force him to arch further.

If he's only guaranteed to have Till for this one night, Ivan has to make the most of it. The only thing that would truly satisfy him is to slip into Till's veins and be carried along to his heart, to become part of the only person who's ever made his own dormant heart beat.

But Till isn't offering true intimacy, only a pale imitation. It will have to be enough for Ivan, despite how much he yearns for.

Till is pushing back into his thrusts, his breath forced out of him with each one. As soon as his arms shake, Ivan catches him and lowers Till to the mattress, keeping his hips raised. “I've got you. Do you need more?” 

Nodding, Till gasps his name before burying his face in the pillow to muffle his cries as Ivan's finger drifts over his clit.

“You're so good for me, Till. I'll give you everything.” Ivan leans over his body to drag his lips across the shell of Till's ear, and feels him shiver. Ivan presses a gentle kiss against Till's neck before he digs his teeth in, tasting the thin sheen of sweat that coats his skin.

Till's moan is an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain, his head rolling to the side to bare more of his neck for Ivan to ravage.

Ivan tugs on his clit and bites down again, and Till falls apart. He drags Ivan down with him, it's impossible to hold back when Till is so beautiful and all his for the night.

His second orgasm takes longer to recover from. Ivan only pulls out once he's gone fully soft, watching all of his cum begin to spill again. If only it could stay inside Till forever.

Ivan lowers his hips so Till can lay down, nudging his legs apart and diving between them. Having Till twice isn't enough, it will never be enough.

Till sobs when Ivan spreads his cunt for his tongue to push inside, tasting them both. “T-too much, ‘m gonna die, can't take it,” he slurs, but spreads his legs wider and presses against Ivan's face regardless.

Till's needy reaction sparks his lust again. If Till wants more, Ivan will never deny him. He can keep going. He slowly grows hard again as he fucks into Till with his tongue, spurred on by his tears and soft moans.

“Do you need me inside again?” Ivan asks once he pulls back, rubbing the head of his cock against Till's slick folds.

Till wraps his arms around Ivan's neck in a death grip even as he tries to weakly squirm away. “Y-you got me turned on again, this is your fault! I hate you!”

“I'll take responsibility,” he promises, pushing into Till slowly as Till’s hatred easily rolls off of him. Ivan is so oversensitive that he's worried he'll cum immediately if he goes any faster.

“Ivan, fuck, I'll break!” Fresh tears fill Till’s eyes, but Ivan doesn't allow them to fall, tenderly kissing them away.

“You want me to break you, don't you?” Ivan keeps his thrusts gentle, trying to draw this out as long as he can.

Till doesn't say anything, but his moans are answer enough. He's shaking, burying his face in Ivan's neck so Ivan can't witness him fall apart so completely.

But he can feel Till crying out and drooling against his skin, unable to hide how good he feels. Till is incoherently mumbling curses and pleas for more, Ivan can hardly make out what he's saying. But he takes pride in fucking Till so well that he's been utterly ruined.

“Inside again?” Ivan teases.

Till makes a vague noise of assent, unable to speak properly. It only takes a few more seconds for Till to spasm around his cock as he cums, his tears staining Ivan's skin.

He isn't able to fill Till much when Till pulls a third orgasm from him, short and quick. Ivan won't possibly be able to get it up a fourth time, Till has wrung him dry.

“N-no more,” Till whines as Ivan pulls out of him.

“We're done,” Ivan reassures him, grabbing tissues to clean him up. He would carry Till to the shower if he wasn't worried Till would pass out under the water, and Ivan doesn't trust himself not to drop Till with how exhausted he is. Just getting up to throw away the dirty tissues feels like a monumental task.

“Didn't want to spend the night,” Till mumbles as Ivan throws the blankets over them, his eyes already fluttering shut.

Is Till that determined for this to be only a one-night stand? Once they wake up, Ivan will have to tempt him to stay as long as possible with the offer of breakfast.

Wrapping his arms around Till, Ivan presses himself against Till's smaller back, thrilled at how well they fit together. 

“You're all gross,” Till complains, but makes himself comfortable in Ivan's arms regardless.

Till is almost instantly asleep, and Ivan follows him a few moments later, lulled to sleep by Till's soft breaths.

Ivan stirs when something moves against him, instinctively clutching it closer and trying to fall back asleep.

It moves again, pulling out of his arms, and Ivan cracks his eyes open.

Till is grabbing his discarded clothes from the floor and pulling them on. He looks beautiful in the soft morning light, his makeup smudged and neck marked with hickeys.

“Are you leaving?”

Till stiffens and looks back at him. “Yeah.”

“You could stay for breakfast. I know how to cook.”

“No thanks.” Till pulls his pants back on and brushes a hand through his unruly hair.

Till can't leave. He can't walk out of Ivan's life so easily after becoming the only bright spot present in it. Ivan wants to pull him back into bed and never let go. 

But he says nothing as Till leaves his bedroom without a word. Ivan hears the distant sound of the elevator ascending to his floor, and then Till is gone.

Chapter Text

“Ivan, are you even listening to me? This is important!” Sua raises her voice, scowling at him across her desk.

“I'm listening,” he reassures her, his thoughts immediately turning back to Till. Sua is telling him something about his European tour that starts next month, but it's much less interesting than Till. 

“What’s going on with you? If it's something that's going to impact your career, I have a right to know.”

“I met the man I’m going to marry,” Ivan tells his manager with a serene smile.

“What.” Sua’s voice is entirely flat.

“His name is Till, and he's absolutely perfect. He's an indie musician. I met him at a bar he was playing at. He came home with me and the sex was amazing–”

Sua holds up a hand before he can continue. “I don't want to hear about your sex life, I don't make you listen to me talk about Mizi that way. But since when do you do serious relationships? You've never gushed about a guy before.”

“I don’t do serious relationships because I’ve never met anyone like him before. If I can’t be with Till, there’s no point in dating.”

Rolling her eyes, Sua pulls out her phone and gives him an expectant look. “Do you want him to come on tour? I'm only offering because I don't want you moping the entire way. There’s still time for me to set it up.”

Ivan sighs and slumps down in his seat. “He won’t text me back. He wouldn’t agree to go on tour with me anyways, we only met three days ago.”

“Three days? You’re already calling him your future husband when you just met him? How do you know he’s not some crazy fan or a serial killer? Do you even know his full name? I'll run a background check on him.”

“No, but it's probably on his social media somewhere.” Ivan texts her the links. Till's YouTube channel links to his other social media, Ivan has already checked all of them.

“You haven't already stalked him online?”

“I’ve been busy. Can’t you give me a day off?” Ivan pouts at Sua. She manages his schedule, because Ivan doesn't care enough about his career to keep commitments unless someone makes him.

“Fine, you can take Thursday off to stalk your new obsession.” Sua stops scrolling. “Found his name. If he's been to prison, I'm not letting you hang out with him.”

Even if Till turns out to be a convicted felon, it won't stop Ivan from pining after him. He could overlook an entire ocean of red flags.

Sua silently types for a few minutes before looking up with a frown. “He got charged with disorderly conduct two years ago.”

Ivan shrugs, unbothered by the revelation. “Anything else?”

“Hmm. He's twenty-three, he's never declared bankruptcy, and his parents are dead, but I can see if either of them were some sort of criminal mastermind.”

He feels a surge of protectiveness, and shakes his head. “You don't need to pry into his business. He hasn't been to prison, so he's not going to steal my kidneys.”

“He still could, but it's not like you've ever listened to me. Just try not to run off to Vegas and get married, I'll be the one who has to deal with the media.”

“No promises,” Ivan tells her with a smile, his thoughts turning back to Till as Sua tries in vain to explain the tour schedule to him again.

Ivan can't stay away. He texts Till a few more times, but never gets an answer. He instead occupies himself by checking Till's social media as often as he can. 

When he sees Till post that he'll be performing at the same bar again, Ivan instantly decides to free his schedule and attend. It's been a week since his night with Till, and Ivan can't stop thinking about him constantly.

He shows up an hour before Till is set to play, lingering in a back corner of the room. He doesn't trust Till not to run off again if he's spotted. He doesn't want to deal with his fans recognizing him either.

Ivan's eyes lock on Till as soon as he enters, drinking in his appearance. Somehow, he's managed to become even more stunning in their time apart.

Till's nails are painted a dark crimson instead of black, and he's wearing a tank top that puts so much of his flawless skin on display. Ivan knows the hickeys he left should be gone, but he can almost convince himself the choker and loose necktie are meant to hide them. Ivan is already drooling over him.

He waits until Till is just about to start performing to approach. When Till catches sight of him as he's adjusting the microphone height, he stares in shock for a few seconds before his expression hardens into a scowl.

Ivan smiles, seating himself close to the stage and waiting for Till to begin. He's reasonably sure Till won't storm off just to avoid him.

Thankfully, he's right. Till tries to ignore him, but keeps sneaking little glances over at Ivan as he plays. Each one makes him fall for Till harder.

If Ivan could, he would switch places with Till in an instant, granting Till the praise and adoration he's never deserved. Till is so much more talented and passionate than Ivan will ever be, he should be the one with chart-topping albums and sold-out shows.

Till is so entrancing, so perfect as he performs. Ivan doesn't look away for a second, basking in Till's heavenly music. He wishes Till would keep going forever, and sighs in disappointment when Till's set ends.

Till casts around for an escape route as he packs his guitar away, but Ivan is standing directly in front of the stage, patiently waiting for Till to join him.

When he steps down, Till tries to walk past him, but Ivan steps into his path with a smile. “This performance was just as perfect as your last one. Would you like me to set up a meeting with my label? I'm sure they'd offer you a record deal as soon as they heard one of your songs.”

Till gives a heavy sigh. “I'm not some sort of nepo baby, I don't need you to get me a record deal. How did you even know I was going to be here? Are you stalking me?”

“You tweeted you'd be here, your account is public.”

“Fuck you. I didn't text you back for a reason. You're not here just to hear me play, right? I bet you want something.” Till glares, but doesn't try to push past him.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Ivan offers.

Till hesitates for a moment, clearly torn. But then his shoulders slump slightly. “Fine.”

Ivan guides him over to the bar, shooting Till a smile as they sit down. “What do you want? Order anything.”

“I want a Bloody Mary.”

“Interesting choice. Aren't you supposed to drink one once you're already hungover?” Ivan raises a hand to summon the bartender, who's finishing up mixing a drink for someone down the bar.

Till shrugs. “It works fine for getting drunk too.”

Once Ivan places their order, they silently watch the bartender work. Till cuts in to ask for extra hot sauce in his drink, but doesn't speak to Ivan until they've both taken a few sips. 

“Did you come to hook up again?” Till pulls the lemon wedge off his glass and sucks on it. Once he sets it down on a napkin, Ivan is tempted to grab it and do the same to get a single taste of Till.

“Is that on the table?” Ivan wants more than just sex, he wants to utterly consume Till, but he won't turn down anything Till is offering him. 

“Who knows,” Till says with an eye roll. But it's not a rejection. 

“Tell me about yourself. We didn't do much talking when we met.” He definitely isn't complaining about how their encounter went, but it didn't leave much room for getting to know each other.

“I'm not that interesting.” Till offers a shrug.

Ivan won't give up so easily. But Till is obviously passionate about music, he might open up if Ivan asks about that. “Why do you want to be a musician?”

“Music is everything to me.”

Ivan waits for him to continue, but Till only takes another sip of his drink. He tries again. “How long have you been playing the guitar?”

“Since I was seven. I was pretty shit at it until I got older.” Till glances down at the guitar case next to his seat with a wry smile.

“What about singing?”

“I've been singing since I could speak.” Till looks at the bar, tracing idle patterns on the wood.

He prefers the eager, emotional Till he met previously. Ivan isn't sure how to break through this closed-off version. He tries another tactic. “Why didn't you text me back? You said you had a reason.”

Till looks back up at him. “I didn't think you were serious about liking my music and taking me on a date, I thought you were just trying to get into my pants. I wanted a hook-up, not a boyfriend. You're not supposed to text someone and ask them to dinner so soon after they leave the next morning, weirdo.”

Ivan doesn't care that he broke some unspoken rule. He leans a bit closer, his lips creeping into a smile. “But you still let me buy you a drink. Were you hoping to have sex again?”

Till's face flushes with anger, and it’s utterly adorable. “Quit acting so fucking smug, I don't care how much the rest of the world loves you. I can leave and find someone else to fuck.”

He has no claim over Till, but Ivan doesn't want Till to have sex with anyone else. He selfishly wants to be enough that Till only needs him, no one else.

“Don't leave. I'm sorry. I’d like to have sex again.” He grabs onto Till's wrist, but light enough it's not restraining. Till could pull away and storm off if he wished.

Till's eyes widen, and his expression shifts. He takes a few moments to respond, slowly leaning towards Ivan. “Take me home with you, then.”

“You want to?” Ivan tightens his grip on Till's wrist, daring to hold him more firmly.

Till's flush deepens. “You were…the sex was really good, okay? It's too much work to find someone else who can measure up.”

Ivan tosses money onto the bar and pulls Till out of his seat. “Then I won't keep you waiting any longer. Let's go.”

Once they're outside, Till pins him against the wall and kisses him roughly. “You're so annoying,” he hisses once they part. “I can't believe you came back to bother me.”

“I'm just persistent. Will you stay for breakfast this time?” Ivan trails kisses down his neck, only barely managing to pull himself away so they can head to his car. Till nearly forgets his guitar in their haste.

“Fuck me well enough I can't walk again, and I'll consider it.” Till grins as he climbs into the car.

Ivan scrambles inside, determined to get Till home as soon as possible. He forces himself to keep his attention on the road, despite how hard it is to look away from Till.

One of Till's hands lands on his inner thigh when he stops at a red light, and Ivan almost jumps. He glances over to see Till smirking at him.

Till's hand moves directly over his cock, pressing down. He hums when he feels Ivan quickly grow hard. “I want to be in charge this time. You're going to be the one falling apart.”

Ivan nods, not trusting his voice. He'd let Till do absolutely anything to him. Till could suggest strapping him to a medieval torture device, and he'd accept without hesitation.

“The light’s green,” Till points out, stroking his cock through his pants.

He hadn't noticed. Ivan is thankful Till stops moving and keeps his hand in place once he presses down on the gas, or else he might crash. 

Till only removes his hand once Ivan parks and turns the car off, earning a small whine of protest. 

Till tugs him out of the car and towards the elevator. “You're kind of pathetic. Are you going to let me do whatever I want?”

“If it makes you happy.” Ivan scans his card and hits the button for his floor, immediately turning his gaze back to Till. 

“Even if what I want is you on your knees all night, and I don't let you get off?” Till challenges, tugging Ivan into his apartment.

“We can do that.”

“Weirdo.” There's almost no bite to it, it's practically a term of endearment. 

Once they reach the bedroom, Ivan guides Till to sit on the edge of the bed and drops to his knees.

“Do a good enough job, and I'll ride you,” Till grins down at him, clearly reveling in his power. 

“Okay. Should I use a condom?”

“You didn't think to ask that the first time?” Till swats his shoulder. “No, it's fine. I have an IUD.”

Ivan is disappointed there won't be a baby that looks exactly like Till in their future, but he'll survive. 

He guides Till to raise his hips enough for Ivan to pull his pants and boxers down. Once Ivan spreads his legs, he gives himself a few seconds to stare, to admire Till's sheer perfection.

Till's boot lightly jabs his hip, and he gives a small huff of annoyance. “Hurry up.”

Ivan leans in and slowly runs his tongue up the length of Till's cunt, feeling Till shudder. “You're really wet,” he observes.

“Shut up!”

He repeats the motion a few more times before his fingers hold Till's cunt open for his tongue to push inside and explore.

Till is biting down on his lip, his breathing already growing heavier. His cheeks are such a pretty shade of pink, Ivan wants to eat him up.

Shallowly fucking into Till with his tongue, Ivan delights in the surprised, pleasured gasp he earns. He could happily do this all night.

“M-more,” Till softly requests.

“I thought you were supposed to be in charge. Shouldn't you be ordering me around?” The lower half of his face is covered in Till's slick when he pulls back to speak, and Ivan eagerly licks it clean. The taste is even better than he expected.

“Give me more, you asshole!” Till angrily grabs his hair and shoves Ivan's face against his pussy. 

Stifling a laugh, Ivan lightly flicks his tongue over Till's clit until Till yanks his hair. Only then does he press his tongue against it.

Ivan plays with Till's piercing, pushing the little bar back and forth as Till stops biting his lip and allows his moans to slip out.

Till whimpers when Ivan pulls away from his clit, grinding against Ivan's face. “Fuck, don't stop.”

Why would he ever stop? He thrusts his tongue as deep as he can, drawing increasingly louder cries from Till.

“Ivan, please!” Till's anger and his desire to be in charge are long-forgotten. He digs his fingers into Ivan's hair and keeps Ivan pressed against him.

He licks and sucks at Till's clit, worshipping it with his mouth. Till is cursing and pulling his hair, his thighs shaking as Ivan takes him apart.

Till dissolves into a long series of moans and cries of Ivan's name as he cums, making more of a mess of Ivan's face.

Ivan keeps sucking on his oversensitive clit until Till shoves him away, releasing his hair.

“Stop, shit, that's too much…” Till falls back onto the bed, and Ivan joins him to keep admiring how pretty he looks when he's overwhelmed.

“Did I do a good job? You don't have to ride me if you're too tired.”

“Give me a minute!” Till snaps. 

Ivan nods, and continues to watch him.

“Quit staring at me.” Till weakly tosses a pillow at him.

“You're impossible to look away from,” Ivan murmurs. He means it completely, but turns his tone teasing so he doesn't scare Till away.

Till rolls his eyes and pokes Ivan in the ribs with the toe of his boot.

Grabbing Till's shoe, Ivan unties the laces and pulls it off, and then does the same to the other one.

“I can undress myself,” Till murmurs, but sits up so Ivan can help him out of his shirt and binder, tossing them in a pile with his other clothes.

Till notices Ivan staring at his chest, and leans forward slightly. “You can touch.”

Ivan's fingers go right for one of his pierced nipples. He almost expects the metal to be cold, but it's just as warm as Till's skin. Ivan softly tugs at the piercing, doing it a few more times when Till doesn't stop him.

Till is pushing his chest forward and letting small moans slip past his lips, his annoyance fading away.

But Ivan can't resist poking at him again. “You're more sensitive than I thought.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Till pushes him back onto the bed, climbing on top.

“I could buy a gag for you to use on me next time.”

Rolling his eyes, Till grabs Ivan's cock and positions himself above it. “Shut up and don't move.”

Ivan obediently swallows down another teasing comment, allowing Till to take the lead. He groans when Till begins to sink onto his cock, but resists the urge to rock his hips up.

Till must lose his patience halfway down. He abruptly drops himself down to take Ivan's cock all at once, biting down on his lip in an attempt to keep his composure. His thighs are shaking, and the tears gathering in his eyes gleam in the low light.

“You don't have to prove anything, you can take it slow.” Ivan softly strokes his thigh.

“I-I’m fine. You don't have to baby me.”

Instead of teasing him further, Ivan tugs Till down, and meets him halfway in a kiss. 

Till makes a small sound of protest, but immediately melts into it, and the tension drains from his body as Ivan's tongue sweeps through his mouth.

Ivan could happily kiss him forever, but Till pulls away once they're out of breath, wiping his lips clean.

Bracing his hands on Ivan's chest, Till lifts himself almost completely off Ivan's cock and drops down. “Fuck…”

It's hard to hold himself back, to resist the urge to take control and allow Till to simply enjoy himself. Ivan wants to take care of him, it feels wrong to lay here and do nothing. He hasn’t earned this.

But Till looks increasingly smug as Ivan moans below him, the sheets clenched in his fists to anchor himself. Till is moving slowly, but being inside him is so overwhelming that Ivan feels as if he's on the verge of falling apart.

“Good boy,” Till tells him with a smirk, as if Ivan is a dog.

He moans pathetically and rocks his hips, and Till's smirk grows wider.

“I didn't think you'd be into being demeaned like this.” Till scrapes his nails down Ivan's chest, leaving angry red lines behind. “Does Mr. Big Shot Celebrity want to be at my mercy?”

“Please, Till,” he breathes out, happily giving in. Being at Till's mercy sounds like absolute heaven.

Grinning, Till pins him to the bed and slams his hips down. His composure wavers for a moment, but he delights in Ivan's weak moan. “Come on, louder. Is that all you've got?”

Obediently, Ivan cries out as Till rides him hard. This type of singing is much more enjoyable than anything he's ever done on stage.

“Fuck, Ivan…” Till gasps as he moves. He's faltering, overwhelmed by the intense sensations, but can't stop seeking more.

Ivan sinks into the pleasure Till freely grants him, losing himself in it. Till keeps riding him, and Ivan wishes the moment would last forever.

But as his orgasm draws close, Till's arms shake with the effort of lifting himself again and again. He gives Ivan a beseeching look, silently begging for help. 

Grasping Till's hips, Ivan easily maneuvers him as if Till is a doll. He's not as heavy as Ivan expected, is he eating enough?

He's so cute that Ivan can't stand it. He pulls Till down and holds him in place as he fills him, and feels Till shudder deeply as he falls apart only a few seconds later.

Till is murmuring his name and weakly rocking his hips, but once their orgasms both end, he collapses on Ivan's chest like a puppet with its strings cut.

Running his fingers through Till's hair, Ivan waits a few minutes for him to recover. “Can you cum again? I have to make sure you'll stay for breakfast.”

“I'm tired. You'll have to do all the work,” Till grumbles.

“That's fine, I like taking care of you.” Ivan sits up, Till in his lap. “But if you're too tired, we can stop.”

Till squirms, trying to decide how much his pride is worth. “...No, keep going.”

“Are you sure? You don't sound that enthusiastic.” One of Ivan's hands pushes between his thighs to slowly circle Till's clit.

“Fuck you, I'm sure! I won't stick around if you don't make me cum again!” Till's fingers tangle in his hair, and he pulls Ivan in for a bruising kiss.

As ordered, Ivan takes over, slowly rolling his hips up. Till bites down on his lip once he begins to be moved up and down, moaning into Ivan's mouth.

“You're going to kill me if you try to get three orgasms out of me every time,” Till complains once he pulls away. “Are you trying to prove something?”

“No, I just like making you feel good. But does that mean you're planning to come back?” Ivan presses soft kisses to his neck before sucking on the skin, leaving a mark. 

“Dunno,” Till breathes out, tilting his head to the side to expose more of his neck as he presses into Ivan’s thrusts.

It's not a denial. He has a chance to convince Till to hook up with him again. Being merely a hookup is far better than not being near Till at all.

Till hisses when Ivan's teeth press into his neck. “Quit acting like a vampire. You were biting my neck last time too.”

“You seem to like it,” Ivan points out. 

Grumbling, Till scratches at Ivan's biceps, silently demanding more. He's adorable when he won't say what he wants.

Laughing, Ivan kisses his cheek and moves at a quicker pace. This feels more relaxed, less desperate than the first time they had sex.

Till is making soft sounds in his ear, relaxing fully into Ivan's arms. He must be close if he's so pliant.

His fingers return to Till's clit, rubbing in gentle circles to coax him over the edge. 

When Ivan presses one last kiss to his neck, Till falls apart. He buries his face in Ivan's shoulder, muffling his cries.

Ivan can still make out Till's groan as he spills inside him, and a soft sigh as Ivan's fingers comb through his hair. “Do you want a shower?” 

“Too tired to walk.”

“I can carry you,” he offers.

“Fine,” Till grumbles, his face flushed when Ivan pulls out and carries him to the bathroom bridal style. 

Carefully, he sets Till on his feet. “Hot or cold?”

“Hot, or I'm going to bite you.”

Ivan obligingly turns on the hot water, but can't resist teasing. “Don't threaten me with a good time.”

Till swats him on the arm and grabs Ivan's shampoo, lathering it into his hair before Ivan can offer to do it for him.

“Let me help you clean up,” he murmurs as he pushes two fingers into Till's cunt.

Till shudders. “You're just trying to touch me more.”

“I don't know what you're talking about. I'm trying to make sure you don't drip on the sheets.” He works his fingers in and out until Till pushes his hand away.

“I'm not cumming again, get off,” Till grumbles, but he's trying and failing to hide a small smile.

Laughing against Till's skin, Ivan finishes washing his hair and turns the shower off. “Are you staying for breakfast?”

“I guess so, my legs are still a bit weak. Grab me a towel.” Till bats away Ivan's hands when Ivan tries to dry him off and carry him back to bed, insisting on doing it himself.

Till weakly protests when he's pulled into Ivan's arms, but doesn't try to move away. 

“Goodnight, Till.” Ivan buries his face in Till's hair, which smells like his shampoo now. As if Till is his.

“Night,” Till mutters, promptly falling asleep.

Ivan only takes a few minutes to join him, utterly at peace with Till in his arms.

Ivan has always been an early riser. When his eyes crack open, Till is still asleep, curled against his chest.

He's so cute that Ivan can't possibly look away. He isn't sure how much time passes as he stares down at Till, becoming lost in his long eyelashes, his sharp chin, his pink lips. If only he could stay like this forever.

Ivan runs his fingers through Till's hair, and leans down to kiss him until Till starts to stir.

“Mmnn, what?” Till asks without opening his eyes.

“Do you want breakfast?”

“Sure.” Till presses further against him, his face buried in Ivan's neck. 

“What do you want?” Ivan slings an arm over his waist, and Till doesn't push it away.

“Waffles.”

“I think I have a waffle maker, but you have to let me get up if you want me to use it.” He would be happy to remain here forever if Till wanted him to, never leaving his bed.

Whining, Till reluctantly allows Ivan to get out of bed. He rolls into the warm spot Ivan left, his eyes fluttering shut.

When Ivan digs through the kitchen, he finds a waffle maker his parents sent him for Christmas years ago in lieu of actually bothering to see him. It's never been used, but turns on when he plugs it in.

He looks up how to make waffle batter and digs through his rather bare pantry to come up with everything he needs.

Although he isn't sure if Till likes sweets, he adds chocolate chips to the batter anyways. If Till doesn't like them, Ivan will get to see the cute scrunched up face he makes when he's annoyed, and he'd make Till a new waffle.

By the time he returns with a plate for each of them, Till is half-asleep. He drags himself into a sitting position to eat, leaning against Ivan's shoulder. He doesn't comment on the chocolate chips.

It would be nice if this moment could last forever. It feels domestic and comfortable, like they could actually be a couple.

The illusion lingers for a few moments longer. Till doesn't speak, and doesn't stop Ivan from staring at him. He only rolls his eyes.

Once Till finishes eating, he presses a quick kiss to Ivan's cheek, faintly blushing. “Thanks.”

Before Ivan can find an excuse to keep Till here longer, to prevent him from ever leaving, Till climbs out of bed and begins pulling on his discarded clothes.

Ivan just watches. Their eyes meet once Till is fully dressed, and Till's lips quirk up into a half-smile.

“Bye.” Till's fingers brush across his arm, one last reminder of his presence as he leaves Ivan all alone with his thoughts.

Chapter Text

Ivan texts, Till doesn't respond. But Till posts where he'll be playing, so Ivan shows up to watch. Till comes home with him, and they have sex. He leaves in the morning, after refusing a date.

They continue that way for a few weeks. Ivan wonders if Till is purposely announcing where he'll be playing so he'll drop everything to show up, but doesn't dare ask.

After sex, Till is dozing in his arms when Ivan speaks. “I'm leaving for a big tour in a few days, I won't be around for a few months.”

Till jolts awake, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Wait, what? You're leaving?”

“I am. I'll be all over Europe playing stadiums and music festivals. I'm sure you'll be glad to have me out of your hair for a while.” Surely Till won't actually miss him, he'll miss the sex.

But Till is biting his lip, gazing up at him with an expression Ivan can't interpret. Is he upset?

“Didn't you say you could find someone else who measures up when it comes to sex, even if it's a lot of work? Maybe you'll have forgotten about me by the time I get back.” Ivan would rather eat glass than have Till turn to anyone else, but it's better this way. Till can find a nice boyfriend, and Ivan will gradually fade away.

Till glares at him for a moment before he climbs out of Ivan's arms, grabbing his scattered clothes off the floor and shoving them back on.

“You're leaving?” Ivan sits up, watching him move. His fingers twitch, aching to pull Till back into bed.

“Fuck you,” Till spits, sliding his boots on and heading for the door.

“If you want, I'll text you while I'm gone,” Ivan calls after him. He's not exactly sure what he did to upset Till, but Till angrily storming off won't be enough to deter him. Nothing could stop him from loving Till.

For once, Till texts first, the night before he flies to the UK. Ivan almost drops his phone in surprise before scrambling to tap on the notification and see what Till sent him.

It's a picture of him lying in bed, showing off his naked body from the neck down, but the picture cruelly cuts off at the top of his thighs, just above his cunt. His piercings gleam in the light, his tattoo a stark brand against his skin. He's absolutely perfect.

Ivan stares for several long seconds before a text comes through. ‘dont miss me too much while you're off having fun in europe, weirdo.’

He doesn't care how desperate he sounds. ‘I need to see you before I leave. Give me your address, and I'll be there to pick you up. Or I'll pay for a ride here if you don't want me to know where you live.’

He waits with bated breath for a response, pacing the living room. Ivan tries to brace himself for rejection, telling himself he'll survive Till saying no. At least he has a picture of Till to keep him company overseas, even if it's a thirst trap. He won't ask for more, he's only a hook-up for Till.

After several minutes of walking in circles, he fears Till isn't going to respond. Did he just want to see how easily he could get Ivan worked up? Maybe he's laughing right now. He's had his fun, and he'll move on to someone better while Ivan is on tour. 

His phone buzzes. Even if it's a text telling him off, Ivan has to read it. He doesn't care how badly it hurts.

It's an address. Till's address. ‘hurry up before i change my mind.’

Ivan lunges for his car keys, only realizing that he's not wearing shoes once the elevator arrives. He scrambles to grab the first pair in his closet and shove them on, checking how far away Till lives.

His phone says it's a seventeen minute drive. Is that enough time for Till to change his mind? Hopefully not.

‘I'll be there as fast as humanly possible.’

‘your fans are going to kill me if you get in an accident and die on the way to fuck me.’

There are worse ways to die. Ivan is already climbing into the car, and doesn't stop to respond.

He discovers that it takes seventeen minutes to get to Till's apartment if the speed limit is followed, but if it's treated as a suggestion, it only takes fourteen. 

Ivan calls Till as soon as he pulls into the parking lot so he doesn't have to try to park and text, breathing out a sigh of relief when Till picks up. “I'm here.”

“How the hell did you get here so fast? Whatever, you can come up. It's apartment 307.” 

Ivan takes a deep breath, preparing for another rejection. “Come down. I want to take you on a date. Sex can wait.”

The line is silent for a long moment. “Fine. Give me a minute to get dressed.”

Till hangs up, and Ivan drums his fingers on the steering wheel as he waits, his eyes fixed on the stairwell. Till's apartment complex isn't run-down, but it's not nice either. It's also not safe,. anyone could stroll up to Till’s door. What if Till forgot to lock it? Ivan would happily move him somewhere better, but he's sure Till would kick him for even suggesting it. 

He sits up straighter when he hears someone coming down the metal stairs, breaking into a smile when he sees a familiar face.

Till is dressed casually. No makeup, no jewelry, dressed simply in a shirt for some band Ivan has never heard of and ripped jeans. Just him. 

Once Till opens the door and climbs into the car, he opens his mouth to speak. But Ivan is faster.

Closing the distance between them, Ivan kisses him eagerly, tangling his fingers in Till's hair. 

Till makes a small, surprised noise against his lips before pressing forward, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Finally, Till drags himself away. “What was that for?”

“I'm happy to see you, and you look perfect. What other reason do I need?”

“You're so weird.” He sighs, but there’s no bite behind the words. “Where the hell are you even taking me? It's almost ten, so I assume you're not taking me on a dinner date.” Till's faint blush is visible in the lighting from his apartment building.

He was so excited to see Till he never considered where they'd go if Till agreed to a date. “Famous people eat late. There are a few different restaurants still open that I could bring you to where no one will bother us.”

Till groans. “I don't want fancy shit. I want normal food.”

“We can go back to my apartment and I can cook dinner.” Ivan isn't an amazing cook, but he's good enough. His fridge is almost empty since he's leaving tomorrow, but he should be able to make a proper meal.

“You always drag me to your apartment, I want to actually go somewhere.” Till checks the time on his phone and thinks for a few moments. “There's a place nearby that should be open for a bit longer, and there's no way the owner knows who the hell you are. Pull out of here and turn left.”

Having no idea where Till is guiding him isn't an issue. Ivan obediently nods and gets back on the road. He stares over at Till while waiting for the light to change, wondering if this is going to be the last time they see each other. 

Till notices his staring, and rolls his eyes. “After you turn, keep going straight, and keep your eyes on the road instead of me.”

“No promises.” Ivan takes another turn a mile up the road, and they cross into Chinatown. 

“Park up here,” Till orders, hopping out of the car before Ivan can steal another kiss once they stop.

Till leads the way to a tiny Korean restaurant, and his demeanor changes once they walk inside. He looks softer, less grumpy. 

Ivan hangs back a few steps as Till approaches the counter. The restaurant is deserted this late, dotted with a few empty tables.

To his surprise, Till greets the older woman at the counter in polite, honorific-laden Korean, with an easy smile. 

Till doesn't sound like a native speaker; he makes a few mistakes and sometimes has to stop and grasp for the right word. But Ivan can easily follow what he's saying.

He listens quietly as the woman asks about Till's latest performance, and Till inquires how the restaurant has been.

Then, the owner asks who Till brought with him. Ivan tries to look innocent as Till turns to look back at him, wondering if Till will be honest if he thinks Ivan doesn't understand their conversation.

“He's just a friend, don’t get your hopes up,” Till mumbles.

The woman gives him a knowing smile and tells him his friend is handsome as Ivan shoots her his most charming smile over Till's shoulder, the one that always makes teenage girls swoon.

Till just sighs, but it's not a denial. He switches back to English to call out to Ivan. “Hey, is japchae good?”

He answers back in Korean. “That's fine. I'm happy to have you order for me.”

Flipping him off, Till turns back to the owner and politely orders for them.

It's such a contrast that Ivan can't help but laugh. “Why don't you talk to me like that? You could start calling me Sunbae, since I'm older.”

Scowling, Till slips back into English. “Fuck off, I'm not doing that. We're talking in English only, Korean is too polite. Why the hell do so many words have honorific forms? I'm shit at remembering them.” Till drags him over to one of the tables.

“You never mentioned you speak Korean,” Ivan points out as they sit down. He knows so little about Till, Till never wants to talk about himself despite Ivan's attempts to pry.

“You never asked.”

If this is their first date, he's going to fish for as much information as he can. “True enough. But your Korean is good. Have you lived there?” 

Till rolls his eyes. “You don't have to flatter me, you sound way better than I do. I've never been to Korea, my mom taught me the language.”

“If you ever want to visit Seoul, I'll be your tour guide. It's been a while since I've been back; we can explore together.”

“Back? You lived there?”

Ivan fakes a pout, he actually finds it refreshing Till doesn’t know much about him. “You haven't read my Wikipedia page? I was born and raised in Seoul.”

“Nope.” A smirk crawls over Till's face. “I don't think your music is that good either. You're overrated.”

A surprised laugh bursts free from his chest. “I agree.”

Till's smirk falls instantly. “What the hell do you mean that you agree? Why do you keep making music if you think your stuff sucks?”

“I don't have anything to offer besides a pretty face and a nice voice. I started modeling in kindergarten, and I've been releasing music since I was sixteen, I don't know how to do anything else.”

Till opens his mouth, then closes it. Awkward silence reigns for a few moments. “I like some of your B-sides.”

Ivan offers a shrug. “You might be the only one. No one likes songs I write myself, so they only get used as filler on some of my releases. All of my other songs are written for me.”

Till's fingers tap a staccato rhythm against the table. “Look, the stuff you write isn't bad. It just needs some work. Everything else you sing is soulless.”

Before Ivan can think of a response, the owner comes by with a bowl of noodles for both of them, and a plate of dumplings she sets in the middle.

Till thanks her in Korean and offers praise for her cooking. He uses the wrong verb form, and when Ivan adds his own praise, he emphasizes the proper word, earning a kick under the table. 

The food is good, far better than what he would have cooked himself. He can see why Till is apparently a regular here. 

When Till tries to grab a dumpling, Ivan's chopsticks lash out and snatch it before he can. He pops it in his mouth with a grin, enjoying Till's undignified squawk of protest. 

As an apology, he holds the next dumpling out in front of Till's lips. Till turns pink, but leans in and takes it. 

“You're not my boyfriend,” Till mumbles, but it sounds weak. 

If it was up to Ivan, they would be dating by now. But if he asks Till out, the odds are too high that he'll run off. A date is already more than Ivan expected.

Once they finish eating, Till's hand rests on the table. Ivan places his own on top, and feels Till's hand clench. But he doesn't pull away. 

Ivan grabs his wallet with his other hand, intending to pay for dinner.

Till shakes his head. “I'll pay, I picked the place.”

“But I asked to take you on a date, so I should be the one to pay. I insist.”

“Let me pay, and you can fuck me.”

“Deal.” Ivan happily puts his wallet away and releases Till's hand so he can go pay for their dinner. They'd probably end up having sex anyways, but seeing Till's smug smile is worth it.

Till and the owner are too far away to make out their conversation. But Till is blushing and pointedly trying not to look at Ivan, so he's reasonably sure they're talking about him again. 

Till grabs his arm and pulls him back to the car once he returns, giving Ivan a quick kiss before they climb inside.

“You still want to fuck me?” He asks once Ivan parks in front of his apartment.

“Why would I ever refuse?” Ivan stops to steal a few kisses as Till leads him up the stairs, but they eventually make it to the front door.

“Get off,” Till grumbles when Ivan keeps kissing his neck as he fishes in his pocket for his keys.

“I'd rather stay right here,” Ivan murmurs against his skin, feeling a shiver when his teeth drift over Till's rapid pulse.

Till shoves his key in the lock and pushes the door open, leading Ivan inside.

He wants to look around and carefully catalog every detail of Till's apartment, but Till doesn't bother to turn the lights on as he pulls Ivan into the bedroom. All he notices is that the apartment is clearly much smaller than his own and rather messy. 

Pushing Ivan onto the bed, Till climbs on top and kisses him, hands raking through Ivan's hair as their tongues slide together.

“I can't stay the night,” Ivan murmurs once they part to undress. “I have a 5 a.m. flight.”

Till throws his shirt off to the side, then helps Ivan remove his own. “Then why did you want to come over?”

“You're more important than sleep.” Being sleep deprived is a small price to pay for seeing Till again, he can sleep on the plane.

“You almost sound like a stalker,” Till points out, but still finishes stripping and climbs back into Ivan's lap anyways. 

“Seems like you don't mind having a stalker.” Holding Till close, Ivan fingers him open until Till is whining against his lips, ordering him to hurry up and put it in already.

Keeping Till in his lap, Ivan pushes into him as Till shudders, releasing a few weak curses.

Holding Till's hips, Ivan moves him up and down in time with his thrusts, gasping praise against his neck as he presses heated kisses to the skin.

Till makes desperate little sounds each time he's told how well he takes Ivan, how good he feels, how perfect he is. 

“S-shut up,” he finally protests when it becomes too much, still rolling his hips to match Ivan's movements.

“Make me.” He nips at Till's skin to hear him moan, grinning against his neck.

Till's kiss is bruising, stealing his breath away. He doesn't let Ivan pull away to keep complimenting him, holding him close with hands tangled in his hair.

When he teasingly circles Till's clit, he bites down in protest, only relenting when Ivan tugs on his piercing. His next bite is almost affectionate.

Till falls apart in his arms, crying out against Ivan's lips and tugging on his hair as Ivan holds him close.

When Ivan spills inside him, Till makes the cutest moan Ivan has ever heard in his life. It's a tragedy he isn't recording to be able to hear it over and over again. 

Till slumps against his chest, and Ivan allows him to rest instead of trying to make him cum again. He shouldn't be greedy.

“Thank you,” Ivan murmurs, kissing the top of his head.

“For letting you cum in me? Weird thing to thank me for.”

“For letting me see you before I leave, and agreeing to go on a date with me.”

Hiding his face away in Ivan's neck, Till mutters, “Don't have to thank me for that, weirdo.”

Ivan cradles him close until he goes fully soft, and carefully pulls out. 

“You're not gonna make me cum twice this time? Can't get it up again?” 

Ivan smiles innocently as he drags a finger through the cum staining Till's thighs. “I can get hard as many times as you need me to. Do you want to go again?”

Till huffs and climbs out of Ivan’s lap, his legs a bit shaky. “No, it's fine. You should leave so you can sleep before your flight.”

“Stay here. Where's the bathroom?” Ivan guides him to sit back on the bed.

“Across the hall.”

Ivan resists the urge to dig inside Till's bathroom cabinets, grabbing a washcloth and coming back to the bedroom to tenderly clean him up.

Tossing the washcloth on top of Till's laundry hamper in the corner, Ivan pulls the covers back. “Let me tuck you in, I can see myself out.”

“You're so annoying, you don't need to tuck me in. I'm capable of walking you to the door.” Till's fingers tightly close around his arm and drag him to the front door, before pinning Ivan against it to kiss him.

Kissing back eagerly, he tries to memorize the feeling of Till's lips, the sound of his breathing, his scent. 

When Till tries to pull away, Ivan grabs him around the waist and tugs him back in, his heart leaping when Till laughs and kisses him again.

Just when he's tempted to pull Till back to the bedroom to make him cum again, Till breaks their kiss, panting against his lips.

“Get out of here already,” Till tells him gently, giving him one last quick peck. 

Ivan buries his face in Till's hair for a few moments and breathes in his floral shampoo before releasing him and opening the door.

“Bye.” He lingers for a few moments once he steps over the threshold. If only Till would invite him to stay, to forget all about his tour. He would cancel it in a heartbeat. 

“Bye.” Till shuts the door, and Ivan stares at the barrier between them for a long moment before he heads home.

Ivan only sleeps for two hours before he has to wake up and get ready for his flight. If he hadn't packed ahead of time, he'd be doomed.

Before he passes out in the car Sua booked ahead of time to pick him up, he sends Till a quick text that he's on his way to the airport. Till should be asleep, but Ivan wants to be the first thing Till thinks about when he wakes up and checks his phone.

When the car pulls up to the airport, Ivan jerks awake and grabs his bags. The perk of a well-known face is not having to go through security and wait for his flight like everyone else, he gets led to a private terminal for the flight that's been chartered for the tour crew.

Ivan waits to slip into the fancy lounge for their flight, and only a few crew members notice. At least they're not starstruck after working with him on past tours, he only gets some nods and waves.

He finds a quiet corner to sit in until they board, grabbing a seat next to Sua and Mizi. Sua is already wearing a face mask and headphones and doesn't acknowledge his presence, while Mizi greets him with a yawn.

Ivan manages to fall asleep before the plane takes off, waking up hours later to the endless ocean out the window. 

Once he regains his bearings, he connects to the Wi-Fi and finds a text from Till waiting. 

‘did you even sleep?’

‘It's nice to know you're worried about me.’

‘fuck off.’

Mizi and Sua are also awake and watching a movie together. Sua gives him a weak glare when he pokes her arm, but still pauses the movie and pulls her headphones off. 

“I want to send Till a picture so he won't miss me too much, smile.”

Mizi beams as soon as he holds up his phone, and her sunny smile inspires one from Sua. 

Ivan snaps a nice picture and sends it off to Till, hoping that he'll save it the same way Ivan saved his picture.

‘wait is that seriously mizi’

‘she said she was going to europe on instagram but why is she going WITH YOU’

‘wtf’

His phone rings, and Ivan picks up immediately, uncaring if he bothers the other passengers. The quality isn't great, but he can still make out Till's shocked voice.

“Are you seriously friends with Mizi? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?”

If he had known that Till follows Mizi’s modeling career, he would have brought her up earlier. Ivan doesn't even try to temper his smug tone. “Her girlfriend is my cousin and manager. You'd know if you read my Wikipedia page.” 

“I'm not reading your Wikipedia page, why the hell doesn't Mizi post more pictures with you if you're friends? I've barely seen any, I didn't think you two actually hang out.”

“I'm not a fan of social media, I don't need her to post pictures tagging me. Mizi and Sua also aren't fans of Mizi and I getting shipped when we’re seen together, and I'd prefer to avoid it too.”

“Even if she wasn't a lesbian, Mizi is out of your league,” Till informs him matter-of-factly.

“I agree,” Ivan tells him with a laugh. 

Mizi and Sua are watching Ivan talk about them, and a wonderful idea comes to him. 

“Mizi, want to say hi to a fan?” Ivan ignores Till's sputtering and hands the phone over to her.

Mizi takes it with a smile. “Hello? Who is this?” 

It takes Till a solid thirty seconds to force out the single syllable, but Mizi is much more patient with nervous fans than Ivan is, and her indulgent smile wavers only slightly.

“Till! Ivan has talked about you. Are you going to be at any of his tour dates?”

Ivan faintly hears Till choke out something that can be interpreted as a negative.

Laughing, Mizi hands the phone back to Ivan. “Tell him I'd love to meet him sometime, I think he might faint if he hears it from me.”

Speaking over Till's stammering, Ivan relays the news. “Mizi wants to meet you. I could fly you out to see me play, which city do you prefer? I think you'd like Berlin’s music scene, but the food in Brussels is better. Rome is good if you like art and history. I can send you the tour schedule and which dates Mizi will be around for, she'll be off doing her own work some of the time.”

“...Quit messing with me, you're not going to fly me to Europe just to fuck me,” Till mutters.

Till's reaction catches him off guard, and Ivan needs a moment to regain his bearings. “That's not why I offered. Maybe I just want to see you.”

“Whatever. I gotta go now. I'll text you, okay?” Till hangs up before Ivan can convince him to stick around.

“Does he not want to come?” Mizi asks as Ivan stares morosely at his phone.

“No, he ran off. I guess offering to fly him here was too much.” 

Sua gives him a small pat on the arm, and Mizi draws him into a discussion about the ridiculous outfits she's expected to wear for an upcoming fashion show, complete with pictures.

It does an admirable job distracting him, but he still texts Till twice before they land, forever chasing after him and begging for his attention.

Chapter Text

Being an ocean apart from Till feels like torture. It's only been a week since Ivan last saw him, but he's already having withdrawal symptoms. He misses Till’s soft hair, his delicate eyelashes, his strong voice. He misses everything.

Ivan calls and texts as often as he can, even though he fears that he's annoying Till with constant contact. Till threatens to block him, but never does, and slowly stops bringing it up.

After he kept stopping in the middle of rehearsals to answer Till's texts as soon as his phone buzzed, Sua started confiscating his phone, only giving it back once he finishes.

Although he gripes about being treated like a child, not having his phone does wonders for his focus. Till keeps sending nudes, and it's incredibly hard to remember the words to any of his songs after looking at a picture of Till fingering himself. Ivan should really stop giving Till the desperate reactions he revels in, but he can't help it. How can he not lose his mind?

On busy days, he hardly has time to text. Of course Till is never far from his mind, but he seems to get antsy if Ivan takes too long to respond, and will send more pictures and teasing texts. Sometimes, he can even convince himself Till actually wants his attention.

Ivan is exhausted by the time he returns to his hotel room after his Paris show. Having to perform and put on his persona for thousands of screaming fans is draining, and it's close to one in the morning. 

He's undressing when his phone goes off. Ivan hasn't texted since earlier in the afternoon, when Till was still asleep a few time zones behind. He must be impatient and wanting to catch Ivan's attention.

He opens his phone to find a mirror selfie of Till bent over with his ass out, his phone positioned over his shoulder to show off the jeweled base of a buttplug and the edge of his smirk. ‘we should try anal when you come back :p’

Till is clearly fucking with him at this point, but it's impossible not to react. Ivan shoves his thumb into the call button, dizzy with lust.

“Hm? Did you need something?” Till asks smugly.

“Till, you're going to kill me. If you keep doing this, I'll have to cancel my tour to come home.” Falling back onto the bed, he pulls the phone away from his ear for a few moments to look at the picture. 

“I wouldn't want to disappoint your fans like that. Why don't you find one of them to sleep with if you’re so pent-up?”

“I only want you,” Ivan breathes out as he pulls the rest of his clothes off. He's been hard since the first second he saw Till's picture. “I won't sleep with anyone until I come back.”

Till is silent for a few moments, but sounds unmistakenly pleased when he speaks. “Why don't I help you get off, if you're saving yourself for me?”

“Please, Till. Your voice is enough, you just have to talk to me.” He wraps a hand around his cock, wishing he was feeling Till's smaller, rougher fingers.

“Are you touching yourself now?”

“Yes. Are you still wearing the buttplug?” Ivan tries to stroke his cock the way he imagines Till would do it, firm and slightly impatient. 

“I am. You want me to keep it in while I fuck myself with a toy? I'll even pretend it's your dick.” Faint rustling sounds come from Till's side of the line, and a drawer opening and closing. “Not as big as you are, but it'll work.”

Ivan doesn't hesitate to share the first thought that comes to mind. “I wish I was your dildo.”

“You're so fucking weird. You want to be a hunk of plastic I stick inside myself?”

“I wouldn't mind, as long as you don't throw me away.” 

Till sighs heavily. “Are you gonna just fantasize about being a dildo, or do you want me to actually use it?”

“Go ahead,” Ivan breathes out, his hand moving faster as he imagines Till riding a dildo, pretending it's his cock.

“I already fingered myself open before you called,” Till admits. His breathing grows heavier, and Ivan can almost see him sinking onto the toy. “Fuck…”

“Do you really miss me that much? I didn't know you cared.” A barb carefully wrapped in a teasing shell.

“I can't miss having a real dick over a dildo?”

Till misses the sex, not Ivan himself. He should have expected it, but it still stings. His strokes stutter, his mind unhelpfully reminding him that he's getting off with his own hand, not Till's.

He closes his eyes, trying to bring his fantasy back. Ivan sees Till perched above him, wearing a smug grin as he takes Ivan's cock in hand, his fingers looking small wrapped around the shaft. 

Till squeezes tighter to hear Ivan moan, hand dragging up and down at a sluggish pace designed to drive him mad. 

Till's other hand is between his thighs, fingering himself open to take Ivan's cock. Ivan focuses on Till's moans in his ear, fantasizing that he's hearing them in person.

“Till…”

“Mmn, fuck,” Till groans. “You better make sure I can't walk when you get back.”

“I promise.”

The Till in his imagination leans down to take the head of Ivan's cock in his mouth, tongue piercing teasing over the tip. He smirks when Ivan's hips buck, taking him deeper.

Fingers buried in Till's hair, he guides Till's mouth to sink further down, enveloping him in wet heat. Till looks up at him with hazy, lust-drunk eyes, moaning when Ivan tugs on his hair.

When he spills into his hand, panting Till's name, he sees himself filling Till's mouth, his cum dripping from Till's lips as he tries to swallow it all. Till licks his lips clean, giving a satisfied smile. 

The real Till on the phone must be close, his moans growing increasingly desperate. “Fuck, Ivan, wanna cum, please.”

“Pretend it's me inside you. I'll make you cum for me, don't I always?”

Till makes a wrecked, pathetic sound that Ivan interprets as agreement. “Ivan, Ivan!”

“Just a bit more, come on.”

Till dissolves into curses and sobs as he finds his release, Ivan drinking in each sound of rapture like a starving man. 

He misses Till so much it's a physical ache, and the words spill out as soon as Till stops gasping for breath and Ivan cleans his hand. “Come see me. I'll be in Amsterdam in two weeks, and I'll be staying in town for a few days after the show. I'll pay for everything.”

Till is silent for so long that Ivan wonders if he's going to hang up, and he's about to backtrack on his offer.

“Okay.”

He grips his phone tighter, half-convinced he misheard. “You'll come?”

“I won't say no to a free vacation. But I don't have a passport,” Till admits.

He completely forgot about international travel requirements, but Ivan can't possibly let that stop him. Surely he can find someone to bribe, if necessary. “You should be able to get one that fast if I pay extra for quicker processing. Or if that doesn't work, fake an emergency. Say your grandmother is dying in Amsterdam so you need to fly there immediately.”

Till rolling his eyes can practically be heard through the phone. “Is it even legal to lie your ass off like that to the government?”

“No idea, but it doesn't matter unless they know you're lying. I'll set up an appointment and send you the form to fill out.” He's already pulling his phone away from his ear to find the website and text Till the link.

“You're insane.”

He gives a breathless laugh. “But you're coming to see me.”

Till sighs softly. “I need to go clean up and fill out this passport stuff.”

Ivan assumes a goodbye is coming, and waits. But he hears only Till's soft breathing. 

Till breaks the silence first.“Isn't it super late over there?”

“It's 2 a.m.”

“....Give me five minutes to clean up, and I'll stick around until you pass out.”

His breath catches. “You want to fall asleep on the phone together?”

“Idiot, it's the middle of the afternoon here. I'm not going to bed. I'll be back.”

As soon as the line goes silent, he rushes to the bathroom, phone in hand so he'll hear the second Till returns. Just as he's finishing brushing his teeth, he hears Till picking the phone back up.

“You still there?”

“Yes. I'm about to go to bed.” He holds the phone to his ear as he climbs into bed, before setting it on the pillow next to him. It's as close as he can get to falling asleep with Till in his arms.

They're silent for a few minutes until Ivan speaks. “Till?”

“Hm?”

“If you can't get your passport in time, promise you'll come later in the tour.”

“I promise. Go to sleep now.”

Maybe it's because he's too tired to hold back, but he dares to ask for more. “Will you sing for me? It would help me sleep.”

“Seriously? You're way too old to need a fucking lullaby to fall asleep.” 

“Please?”

Till gives a groan of annoyance, but starts to hum a soft tune after a few moments.

Ivan doesn't dare interrupt to ask what song it is, instead closing his eyes and basking in Till's voice. He falls asleep before Till stops humming, a smile on his face.

The next day, on the way to Madrid, he books a first class round-trip ticket to Amsterdam, texting the details over as soon as he pays.

He almost expects Till to declare he's changed his mind about visiting, but instead, he shares that he's set up an appointment to get his passport, and the details of his visit gradually take shape.

The days until Till's arrival pass incredibly slowly, and Ivan bothers him with constant texts and calls, but Till is surprisingly indulgent. He texts a picture of his passport the day before his flight, soothing Ivan's worries that he won't be able to come.

But he still has to be an awful tease. A few hours later, he sends a video of him fingering himself and moaning Ivan's name. Even over text, he sounds unbearably smug about Ivan's desperate reaction. 

Ivan promised to pick Till up at the airport, and he hardly sleeps the night before. He's at the airport two hours before Till's flight lands, pacing in front of the screen showing arrivals.

As soon as he sees Till's flight has landed, he grabs his phone. ‘I saw you landed. I'm standing next to the train station entrance.’

Till's response takes a few anxious minutes to come. ‘calm down, gotta go through immigration first and the line is long.’

Continuing to pace, he watches the corridor ahead of him for Till. Almost twenty minutes later, Ivan finally spots his distinctive hair and rushes forward.

Till breaks into a smile when their eyes meet, but alarm flashes across his face a few seconds before Ivan barrels into him, almost knocking him over.

Before Till can protest, Ivan is kissing him as if they've been apart for years, not a month. It felt like an unbearable lifetime, Ivan isn’t sure how he ever survived so long by himself before Till entered his life.

Dropping his suitcase, Till kisses back, fingers tangling in Ivan's hair to keep him close. He pulls away for only a few seconds before tugging Ivan back in for another kiss.

It feels impossible to drag himself away, but Ivan finally manages. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” Till grabs the handle of his suitcase again, rolling his eyes when Ivan takes it from him and grabs Till's backpack to put on. “I can carry my own stuff.”

He’s still riding high on the admission that Till missed him, practically floating along. “Let me. We're taking the train, it's almost impossible to drive in the city. Once we get off, it's not a far walk to where we're staying.”

“Where the hell are we staying?”

“I rented out an 18th-century house on one of the canals. I think you'll like it.”

Till almost chokes. “An entire house?”

“I wanted privacy, and to spoil you. It's not that much bigger than my apartment, it's tall but narrow.”

“I never said you had to spoil me, weirdo.” Till suppresses a smile as they walk.

Ivan easily purchases tickets for them, and guides Till onto the right train when it arrives only a minute later.

“Aren't you worried people are going to recognize you?” Till asks as they find seats.

“I'm not as popular here, and Dutch people aren't as obtrusive as Americans.” Most people don't even look twice at him, and the few that do just take pictures as he walks by.

“Good, I don't want anyone bothering us.”

Ivan kisses his cheek. “You'll have me all to yourself, don't worry. Besides the concert tomorrow night, I'm all yours.”

Till turns pink, but grabs Ivan's hand. “Good. I'll be watching you tomorrow, so it better be the best concert I've ever seen, or I'm heading home early.”

He raises their joined hands to his lips to kiss Till's knuckles. “I'll be singing just for you, no one else in the audience matters.”

Till's flush darkens from pink to red, and he buries his face in Ivan's shoulder. “You're so embarrassing,” he mutters against Ivan's shirt.

“Are you jetlagged? You can fall asleep on me, and we can nap once we get to the house.”

Till shifts into a more comfortable position and closes his eyes, but Ivan can tell he's not sleeping by his occasional fidgeting. 

He stares down at Till, marveling at the fact Till is actually here, with him. He flew to another continent because Ivan asked him to. Because Ivan needed to see him again. 

“We're here,” he whispers against Till's lips once the train stops, leaning in to kiss him.

Grumbling a bit, Till drags himself to his feet, following after Ivan, who's carrying his bags. But he perks up as soon as they walk out of the station, gazing in wonder at the bay before them, flanked by both high-rises and quaint houses.

Walking slowly along the cobbled streets, he watches Till absorb everything around them. Ivan has traveled and seen too much for anything to catch his attention like this, and Till is far more beautiful than the buildings that line the canals.

“That's the house we're staying in.” He points out the tall brick building once they turn onto the right street.

“You could have booked a hotel room like a normal person,” Till points out.

Ivan unlocks the door and waits for Till to enter first. “You don't want me to be normal, you'd get bored.”

Till is too busy looking around to respond, his eyes lingering on the rich blue wallpaper and antique furniture.

Ivan is content to wait for him to poke around, but Till grabs his hand and hauls him towards the staircase. “Bed. Now.”

He can hardly believe Till is being so forward so soon after arriving, and defaults to teasing. “You want to nap that badly?”

“Shut up. We can sleep after.”

“Third floor. The bedroom is the first door on the left.”

Till pulls him into a bedroom fit for nobility, dominated by a four-poster bed. “Think we can manage to break this thing?”

“Let's find out.” He pushes Till onto the bed and climbs on top, trying to pin Till's wrists down.

Till squirms out of his hold and yanks his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. “Be good and let me ride you, and you can take a shower with me after.”

Ivan happily submits, worshipping Till with his fingers and mouth until they're too impatient to wait any longer.

“God, I missed your cock so fucking much,” Till gasps as he sinks down, thighs trembling. 

Neither of them last long. But almost as soon as Ivan spills inside him, he's moving again. Having Till once is far from enough.

They collapse together after two more orgasms, and Ivan practically carries Till to the shower.

He sets his alarm for dinnertime, and finally falls asleep with Till in his arms again.

Their first day together in Amsterdam is perfect, and the next day starts even better. Ivan wakes to Till curled in his arms as if he's never belonged anywhere else, and kisses him awake.

Till groans softly and tries to push him away for a few seconds before opening his eyes. “It's early,” he complains.

“Let's go get breakfast, I'll check what's nearby.”

“Fine.” Till rolls out of bed and grabs clothes out of his suitcase while Ivan looks up what's around them.

They walk to a café hand-in-hand, and although Till has to keep looking up the Dutch foods on the menu to figure out what they are, he's faintly smiling.

“You can seriously order bread with chocolate sprinkles? What kind of breakfast is that?”

Ivan leans forward to catch a glimpse of his phone screen. “I want that.”

“Of course you do.” Till looks up, and his smile grows. He closes the gap between them to kiss Ivan, lingering against his lips for a few moments. “Thank you. For actually bringing me here on a whim.”

“It wasn't a whim. I would have brought you for the entire tour.” 

“So if I said I wanted to stay, you'd let me?” Till challenges.

“I would. You should stay.” Ivan kisses him again.

“Just like that? I didn't bring enough stuff, and you'd have to book flights and hotel rooms for me.”

“I'll buy anything you need and figure out flights, and you can stay in my room with me. I'll make it happen.” He'd do anything for Till to stay, he'll get on his hands and knees and beg in front of the crowd during tonight's concert if that's what Till requires. 

Till pulls away and settles back into his seat. “I can't stay, I have a few gigs already booked back home.”

Before Ivan can try to convince him, the waiter comes along to take their order.

Till watches people go by after they order, and Ivan joins him. A few teenage girls recognize him, giggling when Ivan waves and shoots them a wink.

“Doesn't getting recognized get old?”

“It did a long time ago, but even if I quit right now, I can never go back to being anonymous.”  

Till stares at him for a moment with a thoughtful look and goes back to people-watching until their breakfast arrives. 

“You're welcome to come with me to the venue this afternoon and wait until the show starts, or I can send someone to pick you up later.” He happily eats his bread covered in sprinkles, ignoring Till's judgmental looks.

“I'll come with you, I'll probably get lost if I wander around on my own. I want to see how you set up for a giant concert like that.” 

“Preparing to be the star of your own someday? I'd be happy to have you open for me in the future.”

Till scoffs. “I'll probably never be famous enough for that. Who's even opening tonight?”

“It was originally Luka, but since Hyuna took him back right before the tour started, he's back in the band with her and her brother, and all three are performing.”

Till makes a face. “Ew, I hate that guy. Hyuna and Hyunwoo make better stuff without him, she should divorce him already.”

Ivan can’t help but laugh. “She almost did. Did you see the video of Luka and Hyunwoo fighting on stage? Hyuna said that was the last straw, but Luka convinced her to change her mind.” He has no idea how Luka managed, but maybe he should ask for advice in case he pisses Till off that badly.

“Yeah, I saw. What the fuck were they even punching each other about?”

“I didn't ask, but it was probably a fight over Hyuna’s attention. You can meet them when you come with me, I'm sure you'll get along well with Hyuna and Hyunwoo.” Luka is another matter, but he can worry about that later.

They walk around together for a few hours before heading back, and despite Ivan's pleading that he be allowed to help, Till insists on getting ready for the concert by himself and disappears into the bathroom.

He comes out in dark makeup and a tank top, and Ivan is immediately on top of him, pressing kisses to his neck while his hand disappears up Till's shirt.

“You've seen me wear this before, get off,” Till protests weakly, as if he’s not clutching at Ivan’s arm to keep him close. 

“I could see you wear it a million times and never get used to it.” Ivan sucks a hickey into his skin before pulling back. 

“You're like a dog, do you have to mark me all the time?” Till runs his fingers over the spot.

“You could cover it with makeup.”

“Too much work, let's just go.” Till pulls on his boots and looks over at Ivan. “Don't you need to get ready?”

“Wardrobe and makeup happens at the venue, I just have to show up.” He guides Till outside once he gets the text that their ride is here.

It's not a far drive to the stadium. Till looks around at everything being set up with wide-eyed interest, so enthralled he almost runs into a tech carrying an amp.

“Careful,” Ivan warns him as he tugs Till out of the way. “Opener sound check is first, do you want to watch? You can meet them after.”

Till quickly nods, and Ivan finds the way to the front-row seats. 

“By the way, you'll be sitting next to Mizi tonight. She and Sua are coming to meet you, they're on a romantic boat tour right now.”

Till goes pale. “I have to meet her today?”

Till is too shocked to notice Hyuna waving and calling out to them from the stage, but Ivan nods up at her. “Don't you want to meet her?”

“Yeah, but I need time to prepare! What the fuck am I supposed to stay to her?” Till is already biting his nails from stress, messing up his nail polish. 

“She likes talking about Sua, ask her how they met even if you already know. You'll be fine, I told Sua not to interrogate you.” Ivan pulls his hand away from his mouth and links their fingers together.

Sighing, Till sinks down in his seat. He perks up as he watches Hyuna and Hyunwoo play, and makes a few faces at Luka as he sings.

“I bet they'd collaborate with you if you asked and showed some of your songs,” Ivan prods him. “You know I would too, if you ever want to take me up on the offer.”

“Quit trying to make me into a nepo baby.” Till goes back to watching, while Ivan watches him.

When they finish playing, Hyuna grabs her brother and husband and drags them towards the seats to meet Till.

“My turn for sound check, don't kill Luka while I'm up there.” Ivan kisses him and heads backstage.

By the time he comes back a few minutes later, Till is chatting away with Hyuna and Hyunwoo, and even acknowledging Luka on occasion. 

Till watching him get ready in a nearly-empty stadium feels better than any crowd watching his polished performances. Ivan blows him a kiss when he finishes and heads backstage, grinning when Till flips him off in response. 

He doesn't have time to see Till again before the concert starts, but for once in his life, he's excited to sing. He has someone to sing for.

‘don't fuck up out there after i came all this way.’

‘I promise I won't ❤️’

As soon as he steps on stage, he ignores the cheers and screams and looks for Till. It's hard to make him out clearly through the blinding stage lights, but Ivan is sure it's him.

His performance is a half-remembered blur as he sings for Till alone, but he knows he didn't mess up once, as he promised. 

He almost collapses in his dressing room after the encore, shrugging off his jacket and wiping away his makeup as soon as he sits. 

A few minutes later, the door swings open and Till rushes in, Mizi and Sua trailing behind him. 

Before Till can speak, Ivan pulls him into his lap, swallowing his yelp of surprise with a kiss.

Till pulls away first, more considerate of their audience than Ivan is. He tries to look unimpressed, but his smile breaks through.

“Was it good? Did you like it?”

“It was good. Better than I expected. I'll even come to another when you're back in the US.” 

Beaming, he turns to Mizi and Sua. Mizi's big smile matches his own, while Sua’s is smaller. She must approve of Till if she's not glaring at him.

“We should go on a double date before Till flies home,” he suggests.

Till and Sua wear identical scowls, while Mizi lights up and pulls out her phone to check what day works best and find a restaurant.

“You're awful,” Till mutters, kissing him again.

“But you're still here.”

“Yeah, I am.” Till settles further into his lap as Ivan's arms wrap around him, and for a few moments, Ivan can hold out hope he'll always be here.