Chapter Text
Wind: Why are you on fire?
Four: This is just how my day is going.
Wind: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?
Hyrule: Ooh, yes please!
Legend, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!
Wind: It's not a bug though...
Legend: ...
Hyrule: ...
Legend: Well I still don't want to see.
Hyrule, realizing: Please don't throw-
Wind: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*
Wild: Change is inedible.
Twilight: Don’t you mean inevitable?
Wild, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.
Warriors: Four, gather the others. We need to have another Wild-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.
Hyrule: You’re drunk.
Warriors: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Hyrule.
Legend: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.
Legend: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.
Warriors: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?
Hyrule: Because your toast would get soggy!
Hyrule: Dude, we can get mythical animals! Maybe I’ll get a penguin! Twilight: Penguins are real. Hyrule: That’s the spirit, Twilight! They’re real to me too!
Wild: How do you type so fast? Four: Anxiety.
Time, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Four: Hey. Hyrule: Hi. Wild: Hello. Legend: Hey! Time: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Wind: We were out of Doritos.
Hyrule: What’s up with Wild? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now? Twilight: They're just a little overwhelmed. Hyrule: Why? Twilight: Four smiled at them.
Time: Where’s Wind? Legend: Doing stuff. Time: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Warriors? Legend: Trying to stop Wind from doing the stuff. Time: And Hyrule? Legend: Trying to stop Warriors from stopping Wind from doing the stuff. Time: I see. And what are you doing here, Legend? Legend: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Hyrule from stopping Warriors from stopping Wind from doing the stuff.
Wind: *writing a letter* Wind: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.
Warriors: Wind is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind. Hyrule: Girls? Wind: Pirates.
Legend: ARE YOU- Wild: Fucking. Legend: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Wild: Fucking. Legend: IDIOT! Four: …What was that? Wild: Time banned Legend from swearing, so I’m helping them out.
Time: Don’t trust everything you see on the internet. Hyrule: Pfft. What possibly nonsense could come from the internet? Oh. Did you know that the Earth is actually flat? Time: *Takes away Hyrule’s phone* Yeah, that enough for you.
Shadow, standing amidst the destroyed kitchen: How? How were you able to summon me?! Wild, flipping through a cookbook as fast as they can: I don’t know!! You were supposed to be chicken soup!
And now a section purely for Time and Mallon cause they are sweet.
Time: Mallon and I are no longer dating. Mallon: LINK THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE MARRIED!
Mallon: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake? Time: Aww- Mallon: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
Time: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Mallon: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Time: ... Time: You mean ring bearER, right? Mallon: ... Time: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
Mallon: Are you ready to commit? Time: Like, a crime or a relationship?
OK BACK TO REGULAR QUOTES NOW
Wild: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
Four: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.
Time: What kinds of sounds annoy you?
Sky: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?
Time, now interested: Lets say imaginary.
Sky: Spiders wearing flip flops.
Wild: Yum, thanks! Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.
Sky: Yeah, I’m a false prophet, but you believed me, so whose fault is it really that we’re in this mess?
Warriors: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone* Wind: Hey, Warriors, how was your day? Warriors: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Wind* Hell. Time, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?