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Ten minutes out of the quarantine area of the DC spaceport, Rodney realized that he hadn't missed Earth.
The spaceport was full of people who were in a hurry, or overemotional, as they said their goodbyes or hellos or who stood in the way while they waited. People wondered how he managed to survive on the sparsely manned Mars Pre-Population Mission, but the truth was, the less he had to deal with humans the better. In fact, he would have been perfectly happy being the only person on the mission. At least that would have prevented—
Rodney stopped that train of thought. There was nothing that he could change about what had happened. No amount of thinking would change the facts or what he'd have to face in three days.
He didn't want to be back on Earth, but the decision hadn't been his and now that he was here, he might as well do some of the things that people always thought he missed on Mars. Junk food was indeed quite delicious. Absolute disregard for nutritious value and health was kind of refreshing. He wasn't relishing having a heart attack at forty-five, but this could very well be one of his last meals in freedom, so he decided not to care.
After stuffing himself with burgers, fries, and a horribly sweet shake, Rodney decided that instead of going to a hotel and killing time in a lonely room, he might as well walk around the spaceport.
Earth didn't seem to have changed all that much in the last ten years. It wasn't as if they'd been completely cut off on Mars either, but Rodney had expected more of a culture shock. Eventually, he ended up at one of the bars with view of the landing and take-off areas.
He ordered a beer and watched people at the bar—mostly men—gaze longingly outside. Rodney didn't understand the fascination with flying. His trip to Mars had been a necessity, nothing more. But some of these guys looked as if they'd like to get on board a rocket just for fun or some misguided sense of adventure. One older man looked out the window, watching a plane take off while he nursed his beer. His face was sunburnt and Rodney wondered if he'd flown the kind of planes where wind blew in your face.
Rodney had to admit to himself that he didn't even know enough about those planes to be sure they still existed. Convertibles had never gone out of fashion either, though he'd never understood why someone would want to have wind tearing at their hair and clothes. Of course, maybe the guy had never flown in his life and just liked the idea.
Rodney moved on to watch the other people at the bar. None were particularly interesting, even after ten years of minimum exposure to other humans. Then his gaze landed on a guy sitting at the short side of the bar looking longingly outside. What struck Rodney was his own reaction to the man.
He felt lust. It was absurd, but it hadn't occurred to him until now that one of the definitive advantages of Earth was access to people who were willing to have sex with him and who weren't jerks. Or who might be jerks, but who he would never see again, so he wouldn't find out.
The possibility was glorious.
Of course, there was the matter of actually finding such a person, and Rodney had to admit to himself that the chances that the guy at the end of the bar would be one of them were very slim. But hey, what did he have to lose? He rigorously pushed away any thoughts of the reason he was back on Earth and what was at stake for him in three days. Tonight he was free to do what he wanted and he was going to make the best of it.
He signalled the bartender and told him, "Can you send a drink to that guy over there?" He pointed at the guy with messy dark hair, who was still looking outside.
"Which drink?" the bartender asked.
Rodney looked over at the guy. He wasn't drinking a beer, but rather something fruity looking. "A cocktail? Something with juice. But no citrus!"
The bartender kept any comments he might have had to himself and nodded. While he prepared the drink, Rodney felt nervousness rising in him. He'd never been particularly good at attracting people. Or, actually, that wasn't true. It was more that he could never tell if he had any chance, so he blundered through and was given the cold shoulder more often than not. But sometimes the direct approach worked.
There were many more bars at the spaceport and in DC itself. He didn't doubt he could get lucky tonight. Still, this guy was hot in a way that wasn't in your face but hit Rodney right in the gut—and a bit lower.
The bartender went over to the guy and dutifully informed him about Rodney's offer. The guy looked a bit surprised then turned to Rodney.
Rodney held his gaze, not breathing for a moment. There was no particular reaction Rodney could discern in the guy's look. The guy turned back to the bartender and told him something. When the bartender came back towards Rodney with the glass still in hand, Rodney sighed in disappointment. Well, the chance had only been minimal that this would work out.
"He can't accept this drink," the bartender informed Rodney needlessly. But then he added with a hint of a smirk, "But if you make it a virgin, he'll take it."
Rodney's gaze shot to the guy at the end of the bar, who smiled at him. Holy shit. He'd landed the jackpot. Rodney nearly tipped over the cocktail glass in his excitement, "Yes, sure. Make it a virgin. And give it to me. I'll bring it to him myself."
Rodney nervously played with the cocktail glass, his gaze moving between the progress of the virgin cocktail and the guy, who looked amused. Rodney wondered if he'd still look amused when they fucked. He still couldn't believe that the guy had said yes. Well, he was pretty sure that it was yes to sex. Things couldn't have changed so completely in ten years.
Finally the drink was ready, and Rodney practically tore it out of the bartender's hands and walked over to the side of the bar. He placed the glass in front of the guy and slid into the seat next to him.
"Thanks," the guy said, and lifted his glass before taking a sip.
Rodney watched the guy's Adam's apple as he swallowed and the tip of the tongue that slipped out to lick his lip. "I'd say your place or mine, but I haven't really looked into a hotel yet, so it'll have to be your place."
The guy blinked, then laughed a slightly strange sounding laugh. "You're not one for subtlety, huh?"
"I'm not one for wasting anyone's time," Rodney replied.
"So, can I finish my drink at least?" the guy asked.
"Sure," Rodney said magnanimously. The bartender slid the cocktail that Rodney had forgotten in front of him, before leaving them alone again. Rodney took a gulp. "Hmm, nice."
"You're not going to ask why the non-alcoholic version?" the guy asked.
Rodney had honestly been too distracted by the prospect of sex to even notice. But even when he thought about it, he didn't really care. The guy could be allergic or a recovering alcoholic or immediately lose all inhibitions while intoxicated, but none of those things would interfere with them having sex, so it was no problem at all for Rodney. "No," he said.
They nursed their drinks, looking at each other every now and then. Rodney had a hard time keeping his eyes off the guy's lips and imagining where that mouth would be an hour from now. He finished his own cocktail quickly and waited for the guy to finish so that they could move on to the things that Rodney had imagined.
The guy smirked at Rodney's empty glass and his obvious impatience, then took pity on him and finished off his own virgin cocktail. When he licked his lips after the last sip, Rodney immediately jumped from his seat.
The guy smiled awkwardly at Rodney, not moving to get up. "Uhm," he said. "There's something you should know."
Rodney deflated. After the spectacularly horrible last month and the grim looking future, he really would have loved to have one good, easy, fun, pleasurable thing.
"It's nothing bad," the guy said. "Well, it's..." Rodney frowned, not understanding, but instead of continuing, the guy stood up. As Rodney's gaze took in the slim form, he noticed a sizable bump in the guy's belly. Rodney wasn't immediately sure what he was seeing, but then the guy put a hand over the curve of his belly, standing a bit more straight until there was no doubt.
"Wow, is that normal now?" Rodney couldn't help asking. He'd read about this new medical procedure back when it was introduced. It had been in the media that was sent to them on a regular basis, but that had been very theoretical. He'd never seen a pregnant man before. He had no idea how common it was.
"Now?" the guy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It's been ten years," Rodney admitted without thinking. He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth because of course such an admission would invite questions.
"Space exploration?" the guy only asked with a spark in his eyes.
Rodney recalled the guy's longing looks out the window of the spaceport. He didn't want to start a discussion about where he was coming from. So he said, "Back from Mars," and immediately continued with, "So I'm not up to date on..." He waved at the guy's belly.
The topic of male pregnancy had never been of interest to Rodney, though the few times he'd come across it when reading articles it had seemed like a thing that touchy-feely guys who wanted to explore their feminine side did. Or fathers who wanted to experience the miracle of carrying a child. Which brought up the question of the baby's mother or father.
When Rodney had propositioned the guy, he hadn't even considered that he could be in a relationship, but now it seemed that he had to be. Unless... "Don't tell me guys can just get pregnant now?" Rodney asked, slightly horrified at the idea. That had been one thing he didn't have to worry about when he had sex with guys.
"No," the guy said. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I'm carrying the child for my brother and his wife."
Oh. So there was no partner, or at least no father/mother of the baby to consider. The guy was free to fuck Rodney. And since he'd accepted Rodney's drink and advances, he was apparently willing too. Rodney licked his lips, back on track. "So, your place?" he asked.
"If you don't mind this," the guy said, stroking his belly.
"No," Rodney said. "I admit it's unusual, but we'll figure out a way to work around it." He thought about various positions which wouldn't put any undue pressure on the stomach. Doggy style. Spooning. The guy could ride him. Rodney felt his pants tighten and he adjusted his stance.
The guy gave him an amused but lustful smile. "Let's go."
~~
The drive was relatively long. Rodney didn't really mind. They'd gotten Rodney's luggage and made their way out of the spaceport, and now he simply watched the landscape fly by. Much more than the masses of people at the spaceport, the lush green of the world around him reminded Rodney of the fact that he was no longer on Mars.
It was slowly getting dark, and at some point the guy asked casually, "So Mars?"
Rodney stiffened but forced himself to relax. "Yes," he said shortly. "Tell me about the last ten years," he added more softly.
The guy laughed. Rodney wasn't sure if it was the unsubtlety of the deflection or the slightly bizarre nature of the question. It didn't really matter, though, since the guy didn't press further and instead started talking about a mixture of pop culture references, science, and politics. Rodney found himself glad, not just that the guy didn't insist on asking Rodney about his past, but that he'd asked. The guy was easy to listen to.
His one-night stand wasn't just hot, he was smart and funny to boot. Rodney didn't have a lot of patience with other people, but he liked talking to this guy, so much so that he almost regretted it when they pulled up a drive way to a large house. A really large house.
Rodney had accumulated wealth during the last ten years when he'd had no opportunity to spend his not inconsiderable income, but this house was even beyond his means. He couldn't help giving the guy a look, because it was a bit hard to reconcile someone who hung out at spaceport bars and let strangers pick him up with someone who owned such a mansion.
"It's my brother's," the guy said. "Let's go round the back."
They walked through a well-kept garden and entered the house through the backdoor. Rodney followed the guy into a room.
Neither of them said anything for a moment. They looked at each other, and Rodney enjoyed the growing anticipation. It had been years since he'd had real sex in a bed, and even longer since he'd fucked a guy. His whole body was vibrating with want, and eventually he couldn't wait another second and said in a low voice, "Fuck me."
The guy swallowed and said, "Yeah."
They moved closer together, and Rodney pulled the guy's face into a kiss. It felt amazing, even though the enlarged belly pressing into him was a bit weird. Rodney ignored it, though, deepening the kiss instead.
"Let's lie down," the guy suggested.
Rodney nodded eagerly and they moved to the bed. They kept kissing, but soon Rodney's pants insisted that they were too tight and he moved a hand down to unbutton them and lower the zipper.
The guy didn't hesitate and pushed his hand into Rodney's boxer briefs, encircling his growing shaft.
Rodney groaned into the guy's mouth, his hips moving forward. "Naked," he panted. "We should get naked."
The guy nodded, moving away reluctantly.
They quickly undressed, and when the guy pulled off his t-shirt, Rodney felt his gaze drawn to the large belly that was exposed.
"Having second thoughts?" the guy asked.
"Not at all," Rodney said pulling him back into his arms and kissing him again. They kept kissing and stroking until the urge to be filled took over the urge to kiss and touch. "Do you have lube?" Rodney asked.
The guy nodded, his gaze running from Rodney's eyes to his lips and further down to his crotch. He ran his hand down Rodney's side to his ass and squeezed it playfully, before turning and rummaging in the nightstand.
It was Rodney's turn to look his fill. The guy was slim but muscular, and even though his ass wasn't as fine as Rodney's, Rodney wouldn't mind fucking him. Too bad he wasn't twenty anymore and it was unlikely that he'd get it up twice. But as long as he got to come he'd be happy. And being fucked by a guy after so many years would be a treat. That it was a really hot guy whom Rodney actually liked, from what little he knew about him, was just icing on the cake.
The guy turned around with a tube in his hand. Rodney gave him another kiss, then turned around, sticking out his ass.
The guy grinned and did a quick job of preparing Rodney. He seemed to be as impatient as Rodney was, and looking over his shoulder, Rodney could see that he was just as hard, his cock standing up against his extended belly. Rodney wouldn't mind getting a taste of that cock, but he couldn't have it all and right now he wanted that cock inside of him more than anything.
When the guy was done preparing him, he lightly pulled at Rodney until he got on all fours. He fetched a condom from the nightstand and pulled it over his cock, slathering it with lube before giving Rodney another look.
"Please," Rodney said, widening his legs.
The guy pushed his ass cheeks apart and started to push in. Rodney groaned, "More!" He hadn't known how much he'd really missed this. The guy kept pushing in slowly, opening up Rodney with his large cock. Rodney was panting, feeling wonderfully filled. "Yes, more," he said.
Eventually the guy bottomed out, and they both took deep calming breaths, before Rodney found his voice again and demanded, "Move!"
The guy started fucking Rodney, setting a quick pace that drove Rodney higher and higher. "Yeah. Oh god, yes," Rodney moaned. "Please, more. I want to feel it!"
It had been so fucking long. The hand jobs and occasional blow jobs with Greg, the jerk, had been perfunctory at best. Before him, Rodney'd had a fuck buddy thing with Barbara, a geologist. She hadn't been a jerk, but the sex had been pretty perfunctory too. It hadn't been passionate. It hadn't been the raw need that Rodney felt right now.
He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't just wanted to get off, but really wanted to be fucked by the person inside of him.
The guy kept pushing harder, slamming into Rodney with deep strokes, and Rodney found himself blabbing incoherently feeling nothing but lust and need and want and passion. It was amazing. Rodney met each of they guy's grunts with a groan of his own.
Then the guy changed the angle of penetration and Rodney yelled, "Yes, there!"
The guy hit the same spot again and again and Rodney could no longer think or speak. He could only feel the unbearable pleasure of being fucked and fucked and fucked until it was all too much and he came like a volcano erupting.
He could barely hold himself on all fours long enough for the guy to finish but a few strokes later he moaned loudly and froze before pulling out of Rodney.
They both dropped down on the bed. Rodney had just enough presence of mind to turn on his back so he wouldn't lie on his come-streaked stomach and chest. Next to him the guy lay on his side panting. Rodney wanted to tell him how great it had been, but he was too out of breath.
If worst came to worst in three days, at least he wouldn't have wasted the little bit of freedom he'd had.
They slowly came down from the orgasm high and Rodney felt the come on his chest drying. "Do you have a tissue or something?"
"Bathroom's right over there." The guy pointed at a door at the side of the room that Rodney hadn't noticed before.
He didn't particularly want to leave the comfortable bed, but he'd have to clean up sooner or later, so he might as well get it over with.
He padded to the bathroom, glancing back at the guy who still lay sideways on the bed, looking pretty exhausted but not in a bad way. Rodney felt a bit smug about being such a good lay. Greg had always made it sound as if he were doing Rodney a great favor.
But Rodney really didn't want to think about any of that right now.
He scrubbed away the come on his stomach and looked around for a towel, when suddenly a small voice came from behind him.
"You're not Uncle John."
Rodney started and turned, scrambling to put the towel between his naked body and the young girl, who looked at him with suspicion. Rodney recalled that the guy had mentioned that this was his brother's house. So Uncle John...was probably the guy's name. It occurred to Rodney that they'd never exchanged names.
The girl looked around as if she suspected Rodney of nefarious deeds. "Where is he?"
"Uhm, he's in his room, but—" The young girl immediately started walking past Rodney towards the door. "You should probably not go in there now," he said loud enough to warn the guy—John.
The door opened and Rodney could just see John scrambling to throw the cover over himself.
"Can I sleep here?" the girl asked John, pouting now.
"Uhm, this is...I have a friend over tonight," John said looking at Rodney.
"Rodney," Rodney introduced himself—to both of them.
"Rodney," John repeated to the girl. "But maybe we could read you a story to help you sleep?"
She looked from John to Rodney, clearly not happy about the idea, but apparently willing to take what she could get. "Okay," she gave in.
"Great. Run along and we'll be with you in a moment," John said, smiling at her.
"Only a moment," she said, waiting for John to nod before she left through the bathroom.
"I'm sorry," John said. "She doesn't just show up at night like this often anymore. I still should have warned you."
"Your niece?" Rodney asked.
"Yes, my niece, Susan. And I should get going or she'll be back." John moved the cover aside and got up, belly first, prompting Rodney to take a step towards him and offer a hand. "Thanks," John said. "It's only going to get worse in the next months," he said, but smiled and stroked his stomach.
"I should probably leave," Rodney said, feeling like he was intruding.
The smile slipped from John's face. "You don't have to—" He stopped himself. "I mean, you probably want to go and find a hotel."
"Well, I'll have to if I don't want to sleep at the spaceport," Rodney said.
"You could stay," John offered.
For a moment they looked at each other and Rodney got the feeling that they both wanted to fall asleep together but neither wanted to come out and say it because this was just a one-night stand and they both knew it.
"Yeah, I'd like to," Rodney admitted. He didn't feel like he had anything to lose and he didn't want to waste time taking a taxi back to DC. But most of all he wanted to stay and maybe get a chance of a morning quickie before he had to leave.
John smiled at him. "Bedtime story and then we can head to back to bed," he said, looking longingly at the comfort he'd left behind when he'd gotten up.
~~
When Susan was finally tired enough not to protest when they left, they made their way back to John's room.
They'd taken turns reading the story to John's niece and Rodney had to think of his own niece, Madison, whom he'd never seen. It hadn't even occurred to him to call his sister. If things went badly for him, there wouldn't be a chance for him to visit her anyway. If she would even talk to him.
Back in John's room, Rodney firmly pushed those thoughts away. He had a night and morning with John ahead of him and didn't want to waste time thinking about things that were out of his control.
After a brief stop in the bathroom, John slipped into bed with Rodney, moving just close enough that Rodney gave in to the urge to put his arm around him. John didn't seem to mind, coming a bit closer, until they were almost cuddling, John's stomach pressing into his side.
It felt surprisingly comfortable.
One of the last thoughts before he fell asleep was if Susan had been carried by John too. He was too tired to ask or even calculate if that was likely given her age. In the end he simply enjoyed the feeling of John in his arms and drifted into slumber.
~~
Rodney was up first the next morning. He carefully moved out from under John's arm and went to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. This time he made sure to lock the other door. He freshened up a bit and gargled water before heading back to bed.
John was still asleep looking peaceful. Rodney didn't know him well enough to say if that was a rare event, but he still looked his fill of John's crazy hair and narrow hips that stood in contrast with the belly. As his gaze moved further down, Rodney's thoughts became less innocent.
He remembered the hunger he'd felt for John's cock last night. Maybe he'd get his wish this morning.
John stirred, opening his eyes. "What's the time," he asked, his voice still sleepy.
Rodney checked the alarm. "Eight," he said.
"Oh," John said. "I've been sleeping longer since I'm pregnant."
"We could stay in bed a bit longer," Rodney said suggestively. He put his hand on John's waist and kissed him.
The kiss soon turned heated and Rodney moved his mouth down John's neck, nibbling and kissing his way to a nipple and then down the belly towards his prize. He took John's hardening dick in hand, beginning to stroke him in preparation for his mouth.
John's breathing was getting a bit labored. "I'm clean," he said. "They ran full tests when they implanted the uterus."
Rodney stopped for a second. He hadn't even thought about that. They'd been regularly tested on Mars to detect any anomalies early. And if things went bad in two days, an STD would be the least of his problems. And he wouldn't have to worry about ever infecting another person either.
But those weren't thoughts for lying in bed with a gorgeous pregnant man, whose dick was begging to be sucked.
Rodney leaned down and started licking, before taking John deeper. John was large and it was a challenge to blow him, but it also felt deeply satisfying to have his mouth stretched around its girth.
John began to make noises of pleasure and Rodney worked to make it good for him, using hands and tongue to give John the pressure he needed to come.
A short "Rodney!" was all the warning he got before John froze and came down his throat. John was too large to swallow around so Rodney let him fill him and only moved back and swallowed when John was done. Come was dripping down his mouth, but Rodney didn't mind. He swiped it off with a finger, licking it.
John groaned at the sight, and Rodney looked up and grinned at him. He slowly licked his lips.
"Give me a minute," John said, panting lightly.
Rodney only nodded. He didn't mind waiting. He was pleasantly aroused and watching John's flushed body was no hardship.
"Are you clean?" John asked.
"Yeah," Rodney said. "Regular check-ups on Mars and the flight back."
"Come here," John said, beckoning Rodney with a hand.
Rodney lay next to John, letting himself be pulled into a deep kiss. After a while John manhandled him onto his back and moved to the end of the bed, kneeling between Rodney's legs. Rodney's cock twitched in anticipation.
John grinned and took him in hand before moving down and taking Rodney's cock deep.
Rodney moaned something inarticulate. This wasn't anything like the blowjobs he'd occasionally exchanged with Greg. Not only was John much better at it, he was so damn enthusiastic about it, about Rodney, that it took only a very short time for Rodney to shout, "I'm going to—" and shoot in John's heavenly mouth.
John licked him clean, then lay down next to Rodney, gazing at him with a smile.
"You're amazing," Rodney said.
The tip of John's pointy ears turned red. Rodney leaned forward to kiss John. He couldn't have wished for more of this one-night stand.
~~
After showering together, John invited Rodney to stay for breakfast.
John's family were still at the table and Susan immediately jumped from her chair when she saw them. "That's Rodney. He's John's friend."
The man and woman at the table looked slightly surprised, and John flushed, stroking his neck awkwardly. "Dave, Charlie, this is Rodney. Rodney, this is my brother, Dave, and his wife, Charlie."
"Good morning, Rodney," Charlie said, giving him a smile. "Can I offer you..." She trailed off, looking at the rests of breakfast.
"Coffee would be great," Rodney said.
"Coffee it is," Charlie said.
Susan took John's hand and pulled him to a chair. "Sit," she ordered. John dutifully sat down. She turned to Rodney. "He needs to take care of himself and the baby," she explained.
"I'm sure he does," Rodney said, trying not to think of last night when John had fucked him like a champion.
"We don't want it to die," Susan said seriously. "The last one died."
Rodney looked at Charlie, whose jaw clenched. She swallowed before forcing a tight smile to her face and taking her daughter's hand. "John and the baby are fine," she said before handing Rodney a cup. "Here's your coffee."
Rodney took it, nearly spitting out the first gulp when he saw John pouring some orange juice into a glass.
"Something wrong with the coffee?" Dave asked.
"No, I...I'm deathly allergic to citrus," Rodney said.
John stopped pouring and turned to him. "Wasn't that a fruit cocktail that you bought me last night?"
"I told the bartender to make it citrus free," Rodney said.
"You could die from orange juice?" Susan asked with big eyes.
"If it goes untreated my throat will swell up and I suffocate." He put a hand to his throat to illustrate.
Susan's eyes got even bigger. Rodney wasn't entirely sure if she was horrified or intrigued.
"We'll make sure nothing happens," Dave said before turning to Rodney. "What do you do, Rodney?"
Rodney was aware that it was a perfectly normal question to ask someone. It was easy enough to answer, though he hoped that it wouldn't lead to questions that he wasn't willing to answer. He glanced at John, then answered, "I'm an astrophysicist and engineer."
"You build spaceships?" Susan asked, definitely excited now.
"No," Rodney said. "Actually, I started building the machines that will make it possible for us to open the Mars colony."
Susan jumped towards Rodney. "You've been to Mars?" she asked.
Rodney hesitated for a second and glanced at John again, before telling her, "Yes."
Susan's mouth opened wide for a long moment, then a stream of questions started pouring out. "What's it like? How do you live? Can you have horses? How fast do the buggies go?"
"Susan," Charlie gently tried to stop her.
"There's a Mars exhibit at the spaceport," Susan continued. "Can we go there? Can you tell me what it's really like? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"Susan, Rodney probably has other plans," Dave told her.
"Actually," Rodney began. It wasn't that he was thrilled at the thought of hanging out with an overactive kid, but it wasn't as if he had anything better to do other than wait for Monday, and if he spent today with this particular kid, chances were her uncle would join them. Rodney looked carefully at John.
"I can go with them," John said.
Susan rushed to her mother. "Can I please?"
"If both of you didn't have other plans?" she asked, looking at both Rodney and John and waiting for them to shake their heads. "Okay," she said to Susan. "But then you need to brush your teeth now and get ready to go."
Susan ran off, only to come back a second later. "Don't go without me!"
"We're still eating," John said, lifting a slice of bread.
That seemed to reassure her enough to leave.
"When did you meet Susan?" Dave asked Rodney once she was gone.
John tensed, and Rodney quickly said, "She ran into me when I was in the bathroom."
Dave raised an eyebrow.
"There might have been...nudity," Rodney admitted while John stopped eating, looking uncomfortable. Dave stared at them. "She didn't see any sex, though," Rodney quickly added, trying to reassure them.
John covered his eyes with one hand. Dave looked decidedly unhappy.
"She seemed fine," Charlie said neutrally.
"We read her a bedtime story and she fell asleep," Rodney said, unable to stop himself. "We got dressed first obviously."
"I'm glad to hear it," Dave said darkly.
"I don't think there's anything on her mind right now except stories about Mars," Charlie said.
"You'll still allow her to go with us?" Rodney asked. He knew he'd dug himself into a hole, but maybe Charlie at least would understand that it was just an accident.
"I assume this won't involve any nudity," she said with a smirk.
"If she asks about the showers, I'll tell her to use her imagination," Rodney said.
John snorted, glancing at Dave, who rolled his eyes and sighed.
~~
"Does she ever stop talking?" Rodney asked exasperated.
John grinned. "You could have said no," he pointed out.
"I didn't know it would be this bad," Rodney said.
"You seem like you're enjoying yourself at least a little bit," John said, lifting his hand and making a tiny space between thumb and forefinger.
Rodney harrumphed.
"John, Rodney," Susan called.
"What has she found now?" Rodney sighed.
Susan came running along and pulled them by their sleeves. "John will fly us," she proclaimed when she'd dragged them to a little room.
"It's a flight simulator," John told him. "It's cool."
"Of course you'd find it cool," Rodney said, thinking about when he'd first seen John, gazing longingly at the planes and rockets in the air field. He still agreed to sit in the seat and buckle up. Thankfully there weren't any quick movements.
"It's not quite like the real thing," John said to him with a quick smile.
"Uncle John used to fly these," Susan said.
The smile slipped from John's face and he dropped his gaze before concentrating on the screen in front of them again.
So it wasn't just a theoretical love for adventure. Rodney wondered why John had to give it up. But since John stared ahead and didn't offer any further explanation, Rodney decided not to ask. He knew all too well that there were things you didn't want to share with an almost stranger.
~~
"Are you staying for dinner?" Charlie asked Rodney once they were back.
Rodney looked at John. He would love to stay, but he was well aware that he'd already stretched this one-night stand beyond recognition and he didn't want to overstay his welcome. He'd rather have one lovely day to remember than two days that ended awkwardly.
"Can you stay?" John asked, though.
Rodney wasn't particularly good at reading people, but it didn't sound as if John was just trying to be polite. It almost seemed to Rodney as if a bit of hope swung in the question. "Sure," Rodney said.
John's smile told him that it had been the right answer.
Since it wasn't dinner time yet, they went to John's room. For a while they necked on the bed, small kisses interspersed with deeper ones.
Eventually John's eyes started to droop, and Rodney asked, "Tired?"
"A bit," John admitted.
"Why don't you rest?" Rodney suggested. "I can go online and check a few things."
John only nodded and settled down into the pillow, closing his eyes.
Rodney smiled, then got up to fetch his computer from his luggage. He knew that the proper thing to do would be to book a hotel room, but he hoped that John would allow him to stay another night. So instead of looking for a hotel, Rodney ordered a table for two at a fancy restaurant for lunch the next day.
That done, Rodney looked over to John, who was softly snoring. Rodney had been deprived of an internet connection for the last ten years, but right here, right now, he didn't think there was anything more tempting than the image of John sleeping.
He shut down his computer and lay down next to John, who didn't even stir.
Rodney watched his face, which looked a bit younger when he was asleep. His hair stood up as it always did, and it occurred to Rodney that John didn't have bed hair or if he did he always had it. He smiled.
Rodney let his gaze travel down John's sleeping form, taking in the muscled arms, the unusual, but increasingly familiar extended belly, the long legs. Rodney felt attraction but also a weird protectiveness. Rodney wasn't the kind of person who thought a lot about other people. His sister had accused him more than once of only thinking about himself. But Rodney found that he did care about John.
He didn't know anything of substance about John. His name—his first one at least—and that he'd once flown high altitude planes. And that he gave that up even though it meant a lot to him. Rodney thought of the sad look on John's face when Susan had mentioned it.
Rodney wanted to wipe away that sadness and replace it with happiness.
Which was, of course, ridiculous since Rodney didn't even have the power to ensure his own freedom, let alone happiness. But still, he wanted to do it for John, and that alone was a part of this experience, which was already much more than he could have hoped for before what he had to face on Monday.
~~
At dinner Susan excitedly shared what Rodney had told her about the Mars expedition. Rodney mostly let her drone on, enjoying the meal.
Until Dave asked him, "So will you return to Mars?"
Rodney chewed more slowly on his steak to buy himself some time. Eventually he had to swallow. "No, I'm back for good." He waited for the inevitable question of why, but thankfully Charlie spoke up.
"It must have been quite a change coming back to Earth," she commented.
"Not as much as I though it might be. The spaceport was very busy, but that's always the case," Rodney said.
"What are you going to do now that you're back?" Dave asked.
"My flight only arrived yesterday," Rodney said, "so I haven't really—"
Dave's eyebrows shot up and he looked at John. Rodney realized that his words confirmed that John must have picked up and invited a total stranger for a one-night stand last night.
"That's no time at all after such a long absence," Charlie said, smiling sympathetically.
"Yes, I'm giving myself a few days to acclimate, before looking into a place to live and...work." Rodney tried not to think about Monday and the fact that if things went badly he'd never work again, and he wouldn't have to worry about a place to stay because government would provide one, with food and a lock on the door, for the rest of his life.
"Do you have friends or family in the area?" Charlie asked.
"I, uhm, have a sister in Vancouver. But we're not very close," Rodney said.
"You're Canadian?" Dave asked.
"Yes."
"You're not American?" Susan asked, close to outrage.
"Canada is in fact in North America," Rodney informed her.
Susan pouted and John grinned.
"What do you do for a living?" Rodney asked, trying to steer the conversation away from himself. Plus, he was kind of curious how John's family made their not insubstantial money—at least if the house was anything to go by.
"I'm CEO of the utilities company that our grandfather founded. Sheppard Industries," Dave said.
"Oh, Sheppard," Rodney said, looking at John. Now he had a last name for him too.
~~
After dinner Rodney somehow found himself commandeered into playing with Susan and John. Well, mostly John sat on the side, building a space ship while Rodney and Susan argued over whether a not a community center on Mars needed a shopping mall before anything else.
Eventually John stroked his stomach and yawned, which immediately caught Susan's attention. "You should go to bed," she said, looking worried.
"Yes, I think I'll do that. Rodney, can you help me up?"
Susan and Rodney both helped John up.
"Thanks and goodnight," John said, stroking Susan's hair affectionately.
She smiled at him. When they moved to leave, Susan looked at Rodney. "You don't seem tired."
"Well, I...should make sure that John gets to bed," Rodney said. "Besides isn't it getting late for you too?"
Susan glared at him.
"Goodnight," Rodney said with a wide smile, following John. Outside he let out a breath. "What a little nuisance," he said. At John's look, he added, "She's okay for a kid I guess. I'm just not...very good with children." Or people for that matter, Rodney thought but didn't say.
"You got along fine," John said.
"We were shouting at each other most of the time," Rodney pointed out, giving John a look.
"It sounded like you two were having a good time," John said with a smirk.
"So you're really tired?" Rodney asked. "I'd hoped you were just faking it to rescue me."
"A bit of both," John admitted.
Once in John's room Rodney asked, "So, do you want to go to bed immediately?"
John came closer. "Yes, but I don't necessarily want to sleep." He came even closer, putting his hands on Rodney's hips, then leaned in and whispered in Rodney's ear. "I want you to fuck me."
Rodney swallowed. "Oh yeah, we can—" He was stopped by John's lips on his.
Where the night before had been about raw need, fucking John was slow and soft even if it was just as passionate. Rodney kissed John all over before preparing him.
After a bit of coordinating body parts, they settled on John on all fours, Rodney taking him from behind. Instead of the hard fucking that John had given him the night before, though, Rodney knelt back and gathered John into his arms until he sat astride his lap, impaled on Rodney's cock.
For a long moment they both didn't move, only breathing hard, with Rodney peppering John's neck with little kisses.
Eventually John tightened around him and Rodney started to move in little waves, thrusting into John, who leaned further back against him and moaned with every push.
Rodney took John's hands in his, wrapping them over John's large belly. He kept kissing the side of John's neck, nibbling on his ear. When John turned his face, they kissed, slow and gentle at first, but then their mouths opened up and their whole bodies started moving more forcefully.
John was tight and hot and made breathy little noises and Rodney couldn't get enough of it, couldn't get enough of him.
When John took Rodney's hand and moved it to his dick, Rodney found it hard and leaking. He couldn't actually see it below John's belly, but he took it in a firm grip, beginning to stroke him as he kept fucking him in long deep thrusts.
John became incoherent in his arms, babbling Rodney's name and "Please" and "Yes" and "So good".
Rodney could only agree. John felt absolutely amazing and Rodney wished he could stay here forever, holding him in his arms and deep inside his body.
Eventually John stiffened and started to spill over Rodney's hand, spasming in Rodney's arms as Rodney fucked him through his orgasm. After John stilled, Rodney gave a few more hard thrusts and allowed himself to come.
He gently lowered John to the bed and pulled out. He quickly kissed John, then removed the condom and went to the bathroom—making sure the other door was locked—to dispose of it and fetch a cloth to clean John up with.
He quickly swiped himself when John joined him in the bathroom. "I was going to get it to you," Rodney said.
John only smiled and let Rodney run the cloth over his ass and the sticky stomach.
After they'd cleaned up, they went back into John's room.
"I don't want to be presumptuous..." Rodney began, looking at the bed.
"Stay," John said, smiling.
"It's really not forever," Rodney assured him. "As I said, I'm giving myself a few days. Actually, Monday. If I could stay until Monday, that would be perfect," he said, wringing his hands.
John looked slightly curious but thankfully didn't ask. "Monday is fine," he said.
"I'd like to take you out to lunch tomorrow," Rodney said.
"Okay," John said, smiling. He crawled back into bed. "Do you want to sleep? Otherwise I'll read for a bit."
"That's okay," Rodney said. He pulled on his boxer briefs and a shirt and got his computer.
When he turned back to the bed, he saw that John had gotten a book and headphones—for his stomach.
"She likes it," John said sheepishly at Rodney's look.
"She?" Rodney asked.
"Yes, it's a girl," John said fondly.
Rodney settled down on bed next to him. "What's it like?" he asked. He couldn't even begin to imagine having another little person inside of him. Frankly, the idea freaked him out, even if it didn't bother him at all that John was pregnant.
"On good days or on bad?" John asked, sounding slightly rueful.
Which was answer enough for Rodney. He'd never been closely exposed to a pregnancy, but he could imagine how uncomfortable it had to be at least sometimes. "On good," he said instead.
"Amazing," John said, his eyes shining. "Sometimes when I'm tired or can't stop thinking about...she'll move as if she wants to tell me it's okay," he went on. He dropped his gaze with a self-deprecating smile. "I know it's just coincidence, but it feels like she's interacting with me sometimes."
Rodney smiled, grateful that John was sharing this with him. It made him feel special.
John gave him a quick smile, then picked up the book and began reading. Rodney went online, checking his reservation at the restaurant. He turned the computer to show it to John.
"Wow, that looks... You don't have to do this," John said.
"It's the least I can do," Rodney said. "And it will be nice to have one great meal before..."
"Monday," John finished for him.
"Yes, Monday," Rodney confirmed, turning the computer back. Out of the corner of his eye he could see John going back to reading.
Rodney tried not to think about Monday, and started going to random sites, which weren't really random as Rodney found himself of websites representing fellow scientists and institutes that hire them—and maybe him.
Or would have before what had happened. Rodney hadn't given any deep thought to his professional future or the lack of it. He'd left so much work to do back on Mars. He'd built the foundation for all the work they were doing. It had been his responsibility to work out a concept for all technical infrastructure needs and to make it a reality. He was the best man for the job, but he'd been forced to abandon it. They'd never find an adequate replacement for him. Even if he still had a future as a scientist on Earth, it would be a waste of the talents that the Mars expedition needed so badly. And he was far from certain that he'd have the opportunity to even look for work two days from now. For work, or for a new life.
He looked at John.
Under different circumstances he might wonder about a future with him. Clearly, this was just an extended one-night stand, but by this point it had extended so far that Rodney could see it becoming the beginning of something more. He could see— He stopped himself. There was no point fantasizing about a future he might not have.
He shut down the computer and put it aside, trying to relax and empty his mind of any thoughts of the future. He was feeling slightly calmer, when next to him John started.
Before Rodney could ask what was happening, John took his hand and placed it on his stomach.
Rodney felt warmth—and a tiny kick. "I can feel her," he said in awe. He'd known there was a baby inside there, but actually feeling it was a different matter altogether.
The baby kept kicking at him, and John grinned.
Rodney only watched him with a soft smile. It really was amazing.
~~
They began their next morning with hand jobs in the shower before joining the family for breakfast.
"Will you stay for lunch?" Charlie asked him.
"I'm taking John out for lunch actually," Rodney said.
"And dinner?" Charlie asked. It didn't sound like she wanted to get rid of him, but Rodney still felt a bit awkward.
"Maybe we could drive out to Herring Bay. Have a picnic," John suggested.
"Oh yes," Susan piped up.
"Uhm," John said, glancing at Rodney.
"Sweety, I think John would like to spend some time with Rodney," Charlie said.
"But he can come," Susan said reasonably.
"Alone with Rodney," Charlie told her.
"But..." A pout formed on Susan's lips.
"Maybe next time, kiddo," John said, leaning down to her.
The pout became more pronounced, and her eyes became pleading. Rodney manfully refrained from rolling his eyes. Thankfully John remained strong.
Well, mostly strong. "But we can play with you until lunch," he offered.
~~
Their table was in a little alcove designed for privacy.
John looked around, commenting, "You must have missed this on Mars."
"Not really," Rodney said. "I had all I need. I'm not saying it's not nice to be able to pick and choose which restaurant you want to go to or have your pick of TV, concerts, theaters and what have you, but honestly, it wasn't a real hardship for me. Our basic needs were covered. I had my work." He leaned a little closer. "I even had occasional sex." The last one was something that people were mostly too polite to ask about, but he knew that they wondered. The only time he'd really gone without anything but his own hand had been in the end.
Greg had never hidden his disdain for Rodney, but after what had happened he couldn't even lower himself to jerking Rodney off without looking him in the eye.
"They, uh, talked about the accident in the news," John said hesitantly. "They released a list of victims, but didn't want to go into details as long as it was under investigation. You must have been pretty close to them after so many years in such a small group."
One of the victims had been pretty new to Mars, but Rodney had known Peter for many years. His death had hit him hardest, if you could quantify something like that. He wasn't sure if he would have called Peter a friend, but he'd valued him as a scientist and he certainly hadn't deserved to end like that. Nobody did.
"I'm sorry," John said quietly.
Rodney looked at him, seeing compassion in his eyes that he couldn't bear. Not under the circumstances.
"It was my fault," Rodney said. It wasn't easy to say it, but it needed to be said.
John looked surprised.
"I supervised the project that...caused the accident," Rodney explained. "I gave the okay. Actually, no. I insisted that we do it, over the concerns that others raised. I was wrong. I was wrong and they died." Rodney might be bitter over the decision to send him back to Earth and whatever fate awaited him on Monday. A part of him still thought it had been wrong of them to do so. But even so, this was his burden to carry and he couldn't blame anyone but himself. People had died because of his ego.
"I crashed a plane," John suddenly said.
Rodney looked up.
"I wasn't authorized, but I took off with a few men to fly a rescue mission. Everyone except me died," John said.
Rodney recalled John's look in the simulator. So this was why he couldn't fly any longer. Looking at John and seeing the pain in his eyes, Rodney had no doubt that this still weighed heavily on him. No matter how well intentioned he'd been, he'd caused the death of innocent people. People he'd worked with. Rodney wasn't even sure anymore if he was thinking about John or himself.
He reached out one hand and clasped it with John's. He didn't say anything, only looked at the eyes that reflected the same guilt and loss and bitterness that he'd felt.
They sat like that until their food came. They started eating in silence, until Rodney joked, "What better way to start a light-hearted lunch than chatting about our failures and the lives they cost."
John snorted. "We could catch a mindless movie after lunch for distraction."
"You mean the kind with planes and explosions?" Rodney asked. "Not exactly something to keep our minds off those things."
"Well, the kinds in movies usually only make me think how that's not how real planes work," John commented.
"Oh, don't get me started," Rodney said. "You'd think that now that we have spaceships they could get it right."
"It's not about accuracy," John said. "It's about entertainment."
"That's not entertaining. It's aggravating," Rodney said.
John smiled and Rodney realized that the distraction was already working. He really didn't mind the change of topic, so he went right on complaining about the 'science' in the latest blockbuster they'd transmitted to Mars.
~~
After lunch they walked around town a bit but decided to skip the movie and go with their original plan instead. They drove back to John's family to pick up something to eat and some blankets for the picnic.
Charlie had prepared something for them to take on their trip. Rodney watched as she took things out of the fridge and put them in a basket before handing it to John.
"Thanks," John said, smiling at her.
She smiled back, her hand lifting and hovering over his belly for a moment. John gave an almost imperceptible nod and she touched his stomach, feeling her child for a moment. John squeezed her arm, then turned to Rodney, who felt like he'd intruded on a private moment.
It suddenly occurred to Rodney that Dave could have carried their second child. Not that he thought it would be a certain path to take for a couple if the woman couldn't carry to term. He was fairly certain that even years after the procedure had been introduced it was pretty rare. But Dave would have been a more obvious choice than John.
He decided not to ask, however. Discussing the deaths they'd caused was more than enough for one day. So he went for light topics instead on the drive to Herring Bay.
Once they arrived, they decided to take a walk on the beach. Well, John suggested it and looked longing enough for Rodney to go along with it.
The wind was bracing, but it wasn't so cutting that it was uncomfortable. John looked at the waves, sighing. "I like to surf, but I'm off balance right now," he said, putting a hand on his belly.
Rodney's eyes widened in horror. It wasn't even the thought of John doing that while pregnant—though that too—but surfing in general seemed like an unnecessary risk to Rodney. "Because your balance will help you after a wave throws you off and you land head first on the board, lose consciousness, and drown."
Inexplicably John smiled at that. "You're really an optimist, huh?" he said, brushing his hand against Rodney's as they walked on.
Rodney harrumphed but after a moment he took John's hand in his. They kept walking like this, talking about inconsequential things like the weather when suddenly John stopped and moved a hand to his stomach.
"She moves?" Rodney asked.
"No. I think I'm hungry," John said.
They made their way back to John's car to get the blankets and basket and settled down at a spot on the beach. It was getting a bit colder as the sun set, but Rodney felt still relaxed and enjoyed the sandwiches and John's company.
When John started, Rodney looked at him.
"She moved," John said.
Rodney reached out and John put his hand on his stomach, where the baby was kicking.
"I'm not sure I could imagine ever doing this myself, but it must be a unique experience," Rodney said.
"I used to want kids," John said, looking out at the sea. "But the opportunity... I'm not good at relationships." He glanced at Rodney then took another sandwich out of the basket.
Rodney didn't point out that with the ability to carry the child himself, he would only need a donor. He could see how someone wouldn't want to raise a child as a single parent. Spending the day with Susan had been pretty exhausting and that had only been a few hours. It would be easier to share the responsibility. Though he understood that this was easier said than done. He wasn't good at relationships either, even before he'd gone to a place with a severely limited population. John must have thought it unlikely to have children himself. "So you took the chance," Rodney guessed.
"Yes," John said. "Well, it wasn't just that," he amended after a moment.
Rodney didn't press it when John didn't go on. After a while he thought that was all that John would say on the matter, but then John started talking, looking out at the sea again as he spoke.
"I didn't know what to do when the Air Force kicked me out. I couldn't fly. Dave wanted me in the family business, but that's not what I want. I have an MBA, but if I go into a business, it should be because I care about it, and not just because my grandfather founded it. I managed to avoid making a decision. I told them I'd help Charlie during the pregnancy. And I did, kind of. I took care of Susan a bit, but that was really just an excuse. Then Charlie lost the baby. They've been trying for years. She'd already had two miscarriages. They were...devastated when the doctor recommended that she should not try again. I tried to help, and took care of Susan when they needed time for themselves to process all of it. But I kept wishing I could do more. And then I realized I could. I could finally do something really useful." He turned to Rodney and gave him a rueful smile.
"Some would say service to your country is useful," Rodney pointed out. There was something unbearable about John feeling like he was useless. To Rodney, he seemed like a remarkable person. He didn't think he'd ever connected with anyone the way he'd connected with John in the short time they'd known each other.
"Tell that the people I killed," John said bitterly.
"It was an accident," Rodney said. It was the thing he told himself when he thought of the people who'd died because of him.
John didn't seem to be swayed.
"You're doing something wonderful for your brother and sister-in-law," Rodney tried instead.
"I'm just buying more time before I have to decide what to do with my life," John said, dropping his gaze.
Rodney nodded. "I'll be in the same position—if I'm lucky."
John looked up at him. "Lucky?"
"I have a hearing tomorrow," Rodney said. At this point, he didn't feel like he needed to hide anything from John. "They'll decide if the explosion was really an act of terror and if I'll be locked away forever."
"It was an accident," John echoed Rodney's earlier words.
"That'll be up to them to decide," Rodney said.
"Do you have a lawyer?" John asked. "Shouldn't you be—"
Rodney snorted. "They're an international consortium and I'm suspected of treason against mankind. Nobody will ask if I had adequate representation and the basic facts are not at dispute." After a moment he added, "I'm not even sure anyone will notice I'm gone." He hadn't bothered to tell his sister that he was back.
"I'll notice," John said firmly.
Rodney looked at him. John leaned forward to kiss him. They kissed for a while, re-arranging the basket and their bodies until they could lie together as their lips touched over and over.
Eventually, the temperature dropped enough that it was getting uncomfortable even with John's arms around him. "Getting cold," Rodney said.
"I'll come with you tomorrow," John said.
"You won't be allowed inside," Rodney pointed out.
"I'll wait," John said.
"You don't have to do that," Rodney said. Who wanted to wait for the man who set back mankind's hope for the future, no matter if he was found guilty or not?
"I'll go with you," John insisted.
"Thank you," Rodney said, giving up. If he was convicted, being with John would be what he remembered of freedom. He might as well be the last person he saw before he was locked away.
~~
They made their way back home, sharing a comfortable, or maybe comforting, silence. In John's bed, they sought each other and started kissing.
This could very well be Rodney's last night in freedom—and their last night together. They began to undress each other, slowly shedding their clothes and exposing skin. Rodney wanted to be as close as possible to John, but John's belly made that slightly awkward, so he turned John on his side. This allowed Rodney to press himself against John's back, his whole body against John's.
When he entered John it was slowly, pushing further inch by inch until he felt they were fully connected.
They took their time, moving in gentle waves, sharing kisses and touches, until orgasm claimed them almost unexpectedly. Rodney, who had the foresight to fetch a towel, cleaned John up before spooning behind him as they fell asleep.
~~
Breakfast with John's family felt like a last meal to Rodney. John had tried to reassure him that the consortium wouldn't convict him, but Rodney wasn't so sure. The fact was that the accident was his fault and that it had set back the progress on the Mars colony for a year at least and would cost millions of dollars to fix. Given those facts, he could imagine that the consortium wouldn't even begin to take motives into account.
But there was nothing he could do about it now. Today wasn't a hearing so much as the announcement of their decision. In all probability their minds were made up already. Rodney could only wait and hear if he would remain a free man who'd lost his reputation and professional future or if he'd be a man who lost everything except the right to continue to exist incarcerated.
Neither John nor Rodney mentioned Rodney's hearing to John's family. John only mentioned that he'd go into town with Rodney that morning.
"Will you join us for lunch?" Charlie asked Rodney.
Rodney found himself unable to answer, so John stepped in. "We're not sure yet. We'll call if we come."
Rodney gave him a grateful smile. John put his hand on Rodney's for a moment and squeezed before continuing with breakfast.
"Will you read me a book when you come back?" Susan asked. "I've found my 'Martin goes to Mars' book. You can change it to 'Rodney goes to Mars' and tell your adventures."
Rodney's throat tightened, and he looked at Susan and her parents and realized that even though he hadn't known them for long, he would miss them—even Susan who monopolized everyone and everything around her. He wondered how she'd be able to deal with a little sister. It pained him that he might never know.
"We'll see, Susan," John told her.
She sighed but didn't press any further.
At the end of breakfast, Rodney wanted to thank them for everything, for making what might be his last days in freedom the best he could have wished for. But that would be admitting defeat and he wasn't quite there yet.
~~
Before Rodney entered the room where his hearing would take place he looked at John. There was really nothing he could say. "Thank you" didn't seem adequate. He didn't want to say goodbye yet either. He knew John would refuse to listen. In the end he said nothing at all.
As he turned, John took his hand and squeezed it, before letting Rodney go.
The hearing was short. It stated the undisputed facts of the accident. Then Rodney was allowed to reiterate that he had acted with the full conviction that the procedure would work and that neither lives nor material resources were at risk.
As expected the consortium officials didn't even step out to discuss their findings. They'd made their decision, possibly even before Rodney had left Mars.
When the official began announcing their decision, he started with the immeasurable damage Rodney had done not just to the mission and the families of those that had been killed, but to scientific progress and public's faith in the mission.
Rodney listened stoically. He'd heard most of it before.
"You have done a great disservice to Earth, to science, and I would even go so far as to say to humanity. However, since we have found no proof that you intentionally caused the damage you did, we have no choice but to let you go," the official finally said.
Rodney didn't know what to say. He knew he should be happy, but the truth was that even as a free man the future that he had before the accident was gone. As if to drive home that fact, the official continued.
"This decision will put an official end to the investigation of this incident," he said. "And to make it perfectly clear, the full findings of the consortium will be published later today, leaving out only the facts that would jeopardize the mission. Your actions and their devastating results will be fully disclosed to the public."
Rodney didn't say anything.
"This is the end of the hearing. You are free to go," the official said.
Rodney turned and picked up his luggage. Now that the decision had been made, he no longer had an excuse not to face the shambles he'd made of his life.
Even without the official's reprimand, he knew that the publication of the events surrounding the accident would mean that he wouldn't find work in any reputable institution. Even if some shady business would be willing to ignore the damage he'd done in the past, no-one would want to risk their investment on someone they couldn't trust not to destroy again.
From the pioneers of the space program to little kids who dreamed about going to Mars and working for the mission, he'd disappointed them at best and endangered funding for their work at worst.
He thought about Susan, who would no doubt hear the news soon. He could already hear her asking why on Earth he would do something like that. Though he had John. John who already knew and understood him. And now that Rodney was a free man, he'd have a chance to explore a relationship with John.
Rodney left the room, ready to tell John the good news—only to find the long hall empty.
He turned left and right, but there was nobody. No person, no message, nothing.
Rodney's heart constricted. He tried to tell himself that it had been nothing but a one-night stand. That he'd told John himself that he didn't need to be here today. They were both bad at relationships and between them they had so much baggage to carry that a relationship would probably have broken under the weight of their pasts anyway. It was better this way.
It still hurt more than Rodney could have imagined.
He didn't want to stay here and risk the officials or anyone else seeing his defeat, so he walked off, when suddenly someone called his name.
He turned to see John walking down the hall. "You're done already?" John asked. "I'm sorry. I had to go to the bathroom. I thought it would take a lot longer. Did they make a decision or is this just a break?"
Rodney was so relieved that he couldn't do anything but pull John into his arms and hold on as if his life depended on it.
John hesitated, then hugged him back. "Rodney, I... Can we appeal it? Is there no way to—"
"I'm free," Rodney corrected him, pulling back enough to look at John.
"But that's great," John said.
"Well, yes, of the two alternatives, it's certainly the better one," Rodney said. "I'm free to go wherever I want. If I knew where that was."
"Come with me," John said. "Let's give you a few more days to decide."
Rodney nodded. "Yes," he said. He'd give it a few more days—at John's side.
~~
Epilogue:
When Rodney woke up, it felt not nearly long enough since he'd gone to bed. He checked the alarm only to see that it was still a few hours before he needed to get up. He closed his eyes again, when he heard John say, "Rodney." It didn't come from his side of the bed either. Instead John was apparently standing next to the bed and now gently shaking his shoulder. "Wake up."
"It's the middle of the night," Rodney mumbled.
"The baby is coming," John said.
Rodney blinked. "But the date is next week," he said.
"Well, it seems she wants out early. The doctor said that might happen," John reminded him.
"But..."
"Do you want me to get a taxi?" John asked.
"What? I... God, I need a coffee." Rodney threw the blanket aside and forced himself to sit up. "The baby is coming?"
"Yes," John said, voice getting tighter. "I've called the hospital and Dave. Can you drive me or do I need to get a taxi?"
The baby was coming. John was going to have the baby. A week early. Rodney felt a rant coming about how this shouldn't happen and why medicine hadn't found ways yet to predict something like that when they were able to make men have babies, but he swallowed it down. He wasn't even the one having the baby. "Yes, of course I'll drive you."
Thankfully, John had already packed his things for the clinic, so Rodney really didn't need to do anything but drive him.
John sat in silence, taking deep breaths.
Rodney felt bad because there was nothing he could do and because his mind was still pre-occupied with coffee. He told himself he'd be able to get coffee at the hospital, then drifted off to things he'd meant to do today.
Thankfully they hadn't set any meetings for the ten days before the date of the birth. They were still mostly in the exploratory phase of their company, finding the best vendors and external resources.
Rodney still couldn't believe how fast everything had happened.
After confirming that he was a pariah in the science community and considered too high-risk for businesses, he'd decided to do the work that he really wanted to do, which was to finish what he'd started on Mars. He knew there was no money in it, but thankfully he could afford to work on something unprofitable at least for a few years.
The technical infrastructure for the Mars mission was his project and was supposed to be his life's work. He couldn't bear the thought of letting it be ruined with suboptimal solutions to the many problems they faced. Whoever they'd hired to replace him wouldn't be able to fulfill Rodney's vision even with all the work he'd already done.
He didn't know if he would ever be able to get anyone of the Mars mission to even look at his findings even if he offered his work for free. But he had to try it.
John had asked him if he was trying to make up for his mistake, and while it might be a part of Rodney's motivation, he simply couldn't leave his work unfinished. He felt a responsibility to see it through to the end.
It had been John who'd started asking questions about components of his work that might be used in other areas on Earth or space exploration. He'd asked about Rodney's non-existent business plan and other things that Rodney hadn't wanted to think about.
And somehow they'd ended up with their own company with Rodney doing the technical and John doing the business side. Though Rodney had soon found out that John had a degree in Aeronautical Engineering too, so he was by no means science illiterate.
They'd hesitated before making that commitment because being business partners in addition to their personal relationship had the potential to backfire, but in the end they'd decided to give it a try.
They weren't officially living together. The top floor of the house with the living quarters belonged to Rodney. John's mail was still sent to his brother's house and he did spend a lot of time there, but increasingly he'd stayed with Rodney overnight and his clothes and personal belongings had also found their way into Rodney's apartment.
Rodney didn't mind that—quite the contrary—though sometimes he found himself wondering what exactly the status of their relationship was. There was little doubt that it had started as a one-night stand. But after months together it was more than that, though what he couldn't say. And they didn't talk about it.
Rodney had always shrugged off these thoughts, and he did the same now. Right now they had a much more urgent matter to take care of.
The hospital personnel were ready for John and took him away immediately after he'd signed in, leaving Rodney free to look for coffee. Once he'd taken in the minimum amount of caffeine he needed for his brain to kick in, he began to worry.
Compared to other people he had it good. Since the baby would be delivered by an operation, there wasn't potential for indefinite waiting. And it wasn't his own baby being delivered. Not that he hadn't grown to care about her. Even if John denied it, Rodney was certain that the baby's taste in music was much more like his than John's propensity for country music. But the baby would be Dave and Charlie's and they would take care of it, and Rodney was glad for that.
Dave, Charlie, and a cranky Susan came in a bit later. They seemed at least as nervous as Rodney, which made him feel slightly better. Susan wasn't happy that she'd been dragged out of bed only to have to wait for her baby sister.
"Hey, at least it's your sister. I was dragged out of bed and I have nothing to do with the baby," he said.
"He should have stayed with us," Dave said, walking up and down nervously.
"He doesn't mean..." Charlie said to Rodney.
Rodney waved her off. "No offense taken. I'm not holding anything a father-to-be says against him. At least not as long as his wife is in labor. Or brother as the case may be."
"They'll be fine," Charlie said. "The doctors said it's perfectly normal for him to have contractions early, and this isn't even early enough to count as premature delivery."
Rodney wasn't sure whom she wanted to put at ease. Maybe herself.
One hour later, the doctors informed them that everything had gone fine and that they could now see John and the healthy baby girl.
Rodney stayed back, letting the family welcome their new daughter and sister. He observed that John looked tired, but otherwise relaxed as he held the baby.
Charlie went and kissed John on the forehead while Dave stroked the arm that was holding the baby.
"She's so red-faced," Susan said dismayed.
"You looked much worse," Charlie said.
"I did not!" Susan said aghast.
Dave squeezed her. "We have photos to prove it."
Charlie asked, "May I?" and John nodded, letting her hold her daughter for the first time. There were tears in her eyes. "I can never thank you enough for this," she said.
Dave took John's hand and squeezed it. Rodney couldn't see his face from where he was standing, but he could see John look at his brother and knew that John would never feel like he'd never done anything useful in his life.
Charlie knelt down so that Susan and Dave could take a closer look at her sister.
Rodney took the chance to come closer on the other side of the bed. "Feeling okay?" he asked.
"Never better," John said with a smile, glancing over to his brother's family. "I could see myself doing that again," he added, before getting a deer in headlights look as he turned to Rodney. "Not that I... I mean obviously we..."
Rodney took his hand and squeezed it. At some point in their lives they'd actually have to sit down and talk about their relationship and plans for the future. But it didn't have to be today.
Really, giving it a little extra time had worked quite well for them so far.