Chapter Text
It was a quiet walk. Sea birds called out, but if they had any advice for Stretch, he couldn't parse it. They strolled a few blocks before either of them spoke.
"i meant what i said that night."
Edge hummed non-specifically, and Stretch rubbed a circle into the back of his gloved hand.
"i chose you, edge, because i love you. i already know everything i need to know, to know that i love you."
"I'm Just Trying To Figure Out What You Even Thought It Is That My Family Does?"
"oh!" Stretch said, and paused. "well, i guess i thought you were sort of a shadow government?"
"SHADOW... WHAT?"
"well you know, you provide services to the community that the 'legitimate' government won't."
Edge was just looking at him, a brow bone arched, so Stretch continued. "like security, economic opportunities, medical and legal care... i mean just look at this community, it's the best administered part of the whole city!"
"BUT, YOU KNEW WE CONDUCTED BUSINESS OUTSIDE THE STRICT LIMITS OF THE LAW, RIGHT?"
Stretch scoffed. "yeah, like i said, you're like a government."
"WE..." Edge seemed to be at a loss.
Unfortunately, in addition to being awkward, their trip from Scareli's to the ice cream shop was also short: they were already approaching the fountains in front of Wet Willie's Creamery. Stretch spotted Blue's hat before he saw Blue himself, poking up above the ornamental grasses ringing the koi pond.
"HELLO!!" Blue shouted, waving over the grass. "I'M SITTING OVER HERE!!"
"hi, blue!" Stretch waved back (somewhat limply, but he didn't think his brother could see them over the plants, anyway).
"We Will Continue This Conversation Later," Edge whispered.
Wet Willie's was a local landmark: a brightly painted shack across from the lake, surrounded by landscaped pools and fountains. There was a tiny gift shop inside the building, but nearly everyone ordered from the exterior windows and enjoyed their treats in the garden or walking along the waterfront.
When they rounded the wall of plants, they found Blue had claimed a small wooden table. He was appropriately attired for the outing in his ADVENTURE HAT (a pith helmet with a blue scarf tied over it) and his fanciest star-print shorts. Stretch had a feeling the shorts were actually meant to be swimming trunks, but didn't really feel like he was in any position to criticize his brother's fashion choices.
"GOOD EVENING, BROTHER." Blue stood up to greet them.
"hey, bro." Stretch held out a hand for a low effort low five, which Blue grudgingly returned.
"Papy!" exclaimed Smaller Blue from his perch on Blue's shoulder. The little bird's flight harness matched Blue's scarf.
"OH!" Edge halted. "GOOD EVENING, BLUE. I SEE YOU HAVE BROUGHT A FRIEND."
Then he took a knee and spoke to the bird with every appearance of complete sincerity, "HOW DO YOU DO, SMALLER BLUE? IT IS A PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU; STRETCH HAS TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU."
The bird whistled and bobbled in place.
"HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND COMPLEX SENTENCES, MR. GASTER," said Blue. "HE'S A BIRD."
The bird said, "Mwehehe!"
Stretch scoffed. "no, he totally understands. look at that face—his true motives are sinister. he wants you to underestimate him."
Smaller Blue opened his beak and flicked his tiny tongue.
"WHAT HE WANTS IS A BANANA CHIP," Blue pointed out.
"Chip!"
"BANANAS ARE AN EXCELLENT SOURCE OF POTASSIUM," Edge noted. "CLEARLY, HE IS A GENTLEMAN OF TASTE."
The bird flew up to the top of Blue's hat and skittered in a small circle, neatly coiling his leash around Blue's face.
"YOU DON'T NEED TO FLATTER THE BIRD," said Blue.
While Blue untangled the bird (and himself), Edge rose and helped Stretch into the seat closest to the pond. Stretch glanced into the water, but he didn't see any fish in the murky depths. Perhaps they were on the other side? Edge took his own place at the small table; Dogaressa kept her distance and took up an unobtrusive station closer to the entrance to the plaza.
"Stretch," Edge whispered urgently. "What Do I Do? I Don't Know How To Talk To Birds. What If I Offend Him?"
Stretch gave him a peck on the zygomatic arch. "just be yourself, handsome," Stretch suggested. "he's a good judge of character."
"That's What I'm Worried About, Love—"
Blue hopped up into the open chair across from Stretch. Smaller Blue was perched on the brim of Blue's pith helmet, apparently totally unconcerned with such trivial matters as mildly strangling his larger friend."SORRY ABOUT THAT! HE CAN BE A BIT OF A HANDFUL SOMETIMES, BUT HE LOVES GOING FOR WALKS."
Smaller Blue made an electric toothbrush noise and groomed one of his feet.
Blue continued, "SO, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, MR. GASTER? I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF MY BROTHER."
Edge winced.
"blue, come on. i was home yesterday afternoon."
"I AM WELL," Edge said. "THANK YOU FOR ASKING. AND YOURSELF?"
"FINE, THANKS."
They just kind of stared at each other. Smaller Blue tried to lighten the mood with microwave noises, but it didn't accomplish much. Finally, Stretch took matters into his own hands.
"so, how was work?" he asked.
Blue lit up like a Gyftmas tree. "OH, I HAD QUITE A STUMPER TODAY! I WAS WORKING ON THIS DOMBÅS—"
"A DUMBASS?" Edge asked, alarmed.
"DOMBÅS! IT'S A THREE-DOOR."
"LIKE A COUPÉ?" Edge was visibly confused.
"no, sweetie," Stretch, interrupted. "it's a wardrobe. like a stand-alone closet."
"AH, I SEE," said Edge, "WHY WOULD A CLOSET NEED THREE DOORS?"
"more ways to come out of it?" Stretch suggested.
Edge and Blue groaned. Even the bird hissed.
"IT HAS A DOUBLE-DOOR SECTION WITH A ROD FOR HANGING CLOTHING, AND A SERIES OF SHELVES ON THE OTHER SIDE FOR LINENS OR HOUSEHOLD STORAGE," Blue explained.
Edge nodded gravely. "THAT SOUNDS EFFICIENT. WHAT WAS THE TROUBLE WITH IT?"
Blue leaned forward, eyelights gleaming. Smaller Blue took this opportunity to flutter down to the tabletop. "WELL, YOU SEE I GOT A CALL FROM THESE THREE SIBLINGS WHO WERE BUILDING A DOMBÅS TOGETHER. THEY MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THE ASSEMBLY PROCESS BEFORE THEY REALIZED THAT THEY HAD INSTALLED THE INTERNAL DIVIDER UPSIDE DOWN, WHICH I AM SURE YOU CAN SEE WOULD BE A SERIOUS PROBLEM."
Edge nodded, clearly invested in this tale of furniture-related woe. "I IMAGINE THAT WOULD POSE ISSUES WITH REGARD TO THE AFOREMENTIONED ROD?"
Stretch resisted the urge to make a comment about issues regarding someone's rod, and instead resigned himself to entertaining Smaller Blue while his brother and his boyfriend chatted. Times like these, it seemed unbelievable that they couldn't get along. Edge was such a gentleman that he could sit there and be completely engaged (sincerely!) in a story about poorly assembled IKEA furniture. He was, frankly, as perfect for their family as he was out of Stretch's league.
If only Blue weren't so up in arms about his stupid (correct) assumptions...
Smaller Blue was bobbling and shuffling in place on the table top, and Stretch obliged him by ducking and weaving in counterpoint. (For the bird's amusement, of course.) Smaller Blue was really strutting his stuff today—maybe he was trying to impress the handsome stranger. Stretch could relate, and he hoped that this was a sign that the bird would take to his boyfriend better than his brother had.
After some particularly impressive footwork, the bird flapped its wings and struck a pose. "Papy!"
Stretch stroked him on the top of his feathery little head. "sick moves, buddy."
"Chip?" The bird blinked manipulatively.
"i don't have any banana chips, dude." Stretch laughed at the bird's look of intense disappointment.
When Stretch looked up, Edge was watching him, eyelights soft.
"BLUE?" Both Blues made questioning noises. "LARGER BLUE," Edge clarified. Plastic crinkled as he pulled something out of his inventory. "WOULD YOU FIND IT ACCEPTABLE IF I SHOULD OFFER HIM A PIECE OF THIS?"
Stretch examined the bag: it was full of dried papaya pieces.
"why do you have that?"
"DRIED FRUIT IS A NUTRITIOUS SNACK," Edge hedged.
"you hate sweets," Stretch pointed out.
"THERE'S NO ADDED SUGAR."
"so, it's not in case you meet a cute bird looking for a treat?"
"Chip!" the bird insisted.
"I SUPPOSE A SMALL AMOUNT WOULD BE ALRIGHT," Blue said, hesitant. "AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO ADDITIVES."
"100% PAPAYA," Edge vowed. "ON MY HONOUR."
Blue nodded in reluctant approval.
Edge teased out a small chunk of bright orange fruit from the bag and set it on the tabletop. "GO AHEAD," he told the bird. "IT'S HIGH IN LYCOPENE."
The bird asked, "'Pene?" and peered at the treat for a moment before giving it a tentative nibble. Then he descended upon it in earnest, pinning the fruit to the table with his tiny talons and savaging it with his hooked beak.
"YES, GOOD," Edge coaxed him. "DEFEAT YOUR FOE."
"was that a pun?" Stretch asked.
It was Blue that answered. "OF COURSE NOT, PAPY."
"I WOULD NEVER," Edge lied.
They exchanged a serious look across the table. Stretch loved them both like a plant loves the sun.
"Pene!" the bird chirped happily.
"yeah!" said Stretch. "get that pene."
"Pene! Pene!"
"PLEASE DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM, PAPY."
Edge tried to correct the bird's diction. "YOU HAVE NEGLECTED THE LYCO, SMALLER BLUE. LY-CO-PENE."
Smaller Blue was undeterred, proud to show off his new word. "Pene!"
"WELL, THAT'S GOING TO CAUSE PROBLEMS," Blue reflected, resigned.
The bird danced in a circle, cocked its head, and crowed, "Red!"
"RED?" Edge asked.
Stretch looked up. "red!"
Wet Willie's was a popular location, but it still came as somewhat of a surprise to spot a familiar stocky skeleton in scrubs leaving the orders window with roughly two litres of milkshake in hand.
Blue looked over his shoulder, following their gazes. "IS THAT DOCTOR RED?"
Edge muttered. "I Asked Him Not To Do This Anymore..." Then he stood. "SIGH. SHALL I PLACE OUR ORDERS, THEN?"
"YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT," Blue started to rise as well.
"you can pay us back," Stretch pointed out.
"IF YOU INSIST, " Edge allowed. "CHERRY FROZEN YOGURT?"
Blue sat back down. "YES, PLEASE."
Edge stalked off on his dairy mission. Normally Blue would have complained more (he hated it when Edge paid for him), but it seemed he wanted the excuse this time. As soon as Edge was out of earshot, Blue leaned across the table.
"PAPY," he hissed. "IS YOUR BOYFRIEND GOING TO THREATEN MY VETERINARIAN?"
"i mean probably a little, but i think red likes it."
Blue gave him a disbelieving look.
"they're brothers," Stretch clarified.
"WHAT? BUT, HIS NAME..."
Stretch shook his head. "he doesn't use his family name, but it's definitely gaster. not sure why but neither of them seem to like it?"
"YOU NEVER TOLD ME EDGE WAS DOCTOR RED'S BROTHER!"
Stretch felt an odd sense of déjà vu. "i thought you knew."
"SO THAT MEANS THAT SHADY DOCTOR BROTHER EDGE TOOK YOU TO WHEN YOU GOT HURT WAS JUST...?"
"just a harmless local veterinarian, yeah," said Stretch.
Blue sat back in his chair, brow bone furrowed. Smaller Blue was undisturbed by the more contemplative atmosphere and took the opportunity to flutter up onto Stretch's shoulder, probably hoping to charm some more papaya out of him.
Stretch felt the Intent the same moment he heard Smaller Blue shriek. A malignant mixture of vicious resentment, arrogance, and the confused hurt of a kicked dog rolled over him. And then the pond erupted into motion, the surface bulging as something rose up from beneath the lily pads.
A monster, short and globular in form, draped in slime and bits of plants, with stubby horns and a multitude of spindly limbs. Through the coating of pond scum, Stretch could just make out the silvery impression of a hand marking the side of its massive head.
Stretch couldn't teleport with the bird on his shoulder, and he wasn't fast enough to dodge before the monster had twisted one of its tiny hands into his shirt sleeve.
"You!" it hissed.
"jerry!?" Stretch shouted. He heard Dogaressa bark something in the distance.
"PAPY!" wailed Blue.
Smaller Blue, at least, was smart enough to fly as far as his leash would allow, circling half a metre above them and shrieking like a car alarm.
Jerry's eyes were wide, and spit bubbled up between its prominent lips. "I lost everything ‘cause of you! I was on the way up! I was gonna make it big! Everything was coming up Jerry!"
"WHAT? WHO ARE YOU? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Blue rose from his seat, but was almost immediately incapacitated by Smaller Blue's frantic flight winding the leash around his throat.
"You just stroll your skinny ass into town one day and you got the boss wrapped around your little phalange! And then it's curtains for Jerry! No warning! No respect!"
A spray of spit pattered against Stretch's teeth, and something inside him came unglued.
"you stupid fucking idiot," Stretch snapped. Blue gasped. "do you actually not get it? do you really not understand that i saved your life!?"
"Saved me? You cost me everything! And will someone shut up that stupid bird?!"
stars, what a cliché goon. Stretch could hear a commotion behind him, shouts and gasps from the direction of the lineup, and risked a glance over his shoulder. Edge was striding toward them; Stretch could see the magic burning furiously in his joints even from here. But then Red shoved his enormous milkshake into Edge's free hand, stopping him in his tracks.
Stretch smelled void magic.
He turned back to Jerry just in time to watch Red pop into reality at the snarling monster's side. Displaced water sloshed over the edges of the pond and onto Stretch's sandals.
"jerry," said Red. "pal." His rough voice was kind. "you're not in your right mind. why don't we go for a little walk so y'can cool down?"
Jerry's eyes rolled from Stretch, over to where Red's bareboned hand rested on its cheek/shoulder. Almost on top of the scar left by a larger, gloved one. Huge beads of sweat rolled down its globular head.
"Hey, hands off the merchandise, this ain't about—"
From Blue's angle, the bulk of Jerry's amorphous body would block his view of Red's hand. He couldn't possibly have seen the syringe. Stretch saw. He saw when Red pushed the plunger down, and he saw when Jerry's pupils began to dilate.
The spindly hand clutching at Stretch's arm went limp and loose, and Stretch pulled free.
"Aw, c'mon," Jerry slurred, "m'just..."
Red smiled like a circular saw at rest, and then they blipped away.
"PAPY!! OH MY STARS. ARE YOU OKAY?" Smaller blue had stopped zooming around and shrieking, but Blue was still untangling the leash from his cervical vertebrae.
"i'm fine," said Stretch, surprised to discover that it was true.
He wasn't scared, hadn't been scared, even when Jerry came boiling out of the pond oozing foul Intent. He wasn't even angry, though he figured he ought to have been. His brother was freaked out, and his favourite shoes were soaked, and what if something had happened to Smaller Blue?
He felt a little shaky. Almost giddy. He felt like, like laughing, or...
Edge reached their table. Stretch looked up into his eyelights, shining like blood on snow, and saw something unspeakable reflected there.
Edge coughed politely, setting Red's enormous milkshake and the cardboard tray with their more reasonable-sized confections down on the table, before taking his seat.
Blue sounded shaken. "WHO WAS THAT?"
"A FORMER EMPLOYEE," Edge admitted.
"that's the guy that hit me with edge's car," Stretch added.
"AND IT APPEARS IT HAS BECOME FURTHER DISGRUNTLED SINCE IT LEFT MY SERVICE. I CAN ONLY OFFER MY MOST SINCERE APOLOGIES—"
"NO, I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE SORRY!" Blue wailed. "I'VE BEEN A TERRIBLE BROTHER!"
"blue," Stretch said, "what? no, come on. it's okay, you were busy with smaller blue—"
"NO, NOT THAT!" Blue sniffed. "I MEAN, I'VE BEEN TERRIBLE TO EDGE!"
Edge looked about as flummoxed as if Blue had just slapped him across the face with a bone attack. "BLUE—"
"I'VE THOUGHT THE WORST OF YOU ALL THIS TIME! HOW CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?"
Edge cleared magic in his skull. "I AM NOT SURE WHAT THERE IS TO FORGIVE, YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT POLITE TO ME."
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE MOB! I JUDGED YOU BASED ON YOUR FAMILY NAME BEFORE I EVEN MET YOU!"
"WELL—" Edge started.
Stretch kicked him as hard as he could under the table.
Blue went on. "I'VE KNOWN DR. RED FOR YEARS, AND HE'S A LOVELY, KIND MAN! THAT MONSTER WAS ATTACKING US AND HE JUST TOOK IT FOR A WALK! IF HE CAN RISE ABOVE HIS FAMILY HISTORY, I AM SURE THAT YOU CAN TOO!"
Edge tried to reply, but Stretch kicked him again.
"you know i think that's very mature of you, blue, and i'm thrilled to hear it."
"BUT—"
Blue extended a hand across the table. Smaller Blue fluttered down to perch on Blue's radius. "CAN WE START OVER, EDGE?"
Edge opened and then closed his mouth, looked at Stretch. Stretch nodded vigorously.
"IF YOU LIKE." Edge took his hand and gave it a single, firm shake.
Smaller Blue said, "Edge!"
There was only one long beat of silence before Blue launched into a series of questions about Edge's work in the construction business. Stretch sipped his milkshake and didn't say anything when Edge slipped the bird another piece of papaya. Red reappeared after about fifteen minutes.
"heya, hotpants," he greeted. "boss. blue."
"these pants are three quarter length," Stretch pointed out.
"yeah, well. length don't change the facts."
Stretch didn't fail to notice that Red was wearing different scrubs than when he had teleported out with Jerry. Nor did he miss the tiny smirk Edge shared with his brother when Red settled into the fourth seat of their table and went to town on his enormous milkshake.
While Edge fielded Blue's questions about built-in cabinets, Stretch captured Edge's gloved hand and pulled it into his lap. The leather was buttery soft, and familiar to his fingertips. Stretch felt along the back of Edge's hand until he found the cuff, and the small metal snap concealed there. It clicked when it opened. Edge glanced at him, a curious noise caught in his skull. Stretch smiled and looked down while he slipped the glove off of Edge's elegant hand; while he entwined their fingers together, bone to bone.
It was a lovely evening.