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Bruce was quite sure he was going to the depths of hell for this. All the other wrongs he'd committed didn't come close to the line he was crossing here.
And that was probably, more than anything else, why Jason insisted on this: getting Bruce to break his own rules for his sake had always been something Jason liked to push for.
It may have become less wrong as Jason got older, but still-
Bruce bowed his head as he pushed into the wet heat of the boy- no, man, he corrected himself- laying on the mattress in front of him. Bruce's brow pleated as he tried to think around the vice-like grip of Jason's body around him. He was too tight, he had to be hurting him-
"Jason..." Bruce rumbled worriedly.
"Fuck old man, if you tell me to relax right now I'll shove a fucking batarang up your ass." Jason hissed through clenched teeth.
Bruce waited, drank in the sight of him, wished that he didn't arouse him even in pain. But he was his boy, the Robin he'd never been able to let go of even as he was forcibly wrenched from his grip. But he was here now, naked and so very perfect in his grip. Chest heaving under his autopsy scar, in pain, but so very alive and beautiful.
Bruce shifted forward slightly and Jason's grip went white knuckled on his forearm. He growled warningly, but Bruce just slid a hand into his black hair and drew him forward to kiss his forehead, his cheeks, the damp salty corners of his eyes.
"Cut that out." Jason snapped glaring at him, "'m not one of your celebrity whores. Don't need to waste that mushy shit on me. Stop treating me like a pansy and fuck me already."
"You're not ready." Bruce shook his head.
"Maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to shove your cock into me you sick fuck." Jason said trying to roll his hips.
"I won't hurt you." Bruce growled clamping his hands down of Jason's hips to force him to still. He'd probably bruise him and Bruce felt sick with the knowledge that he'd like nothing better than Jason to leave covered in his marks... Well, nothing except Jason staying and being covered with with his marks.
Jason gave a small shudder at his tone, the tone he employed as Batman, and instinctively submitted. A second later he seemed to realize what he was doing and rearing up twice as aggressively. It made Bruce's mouth dry even so whenever Jason subconsciously responded as a Robin.
Which was part of why he was going straight to hell.
"Now you're doing that gross thing where your pretending I'm still your boy bitch Robin." Jason accused with narrowed eyes. Bruce repressed a shudder. It did things to him that Jason still knew him so well. Still knew his mind so intimately, still could read him so accurately. It was dangerous.... but there were few things that turned him on more than the reminder.
"You're still too tense." Bruce rumbled, choosing to ignore the comment and all the emotions it brought up, "you're more than stretched for this Jason, you just need to-"
"Like I could relax when it's you." Jason spat, eyes lowering slightly as if he'd just revealed something he'd rather not have.
"You could still have chosen to top. Or there are plenty of types of non penetrative sex." Bruce reminded him.
"No way." Jason snarled, "You said you would fuck me. You don't get to back out of this one too."
When they'd first started doing this, in hot stolen moments in the backs of allies, Jason had insisted in being the one in charge. Wanting control of Bruce for once. But he'd quickly became frustrated with that and insisted that Bruce top him.
Bruce suspected that it was mostly because control had never been what Jason's primary goal was in regards to him. When Jason did go after control, it was usually just a means to the same end as it always was: provoking a reaction from Bruce. Pushing and testing until he broke past Bruce's control and made him loose it a little.
Or a lot.
Fucking him didn't quite cut it for Jason. It came close; Bruce still swam with guilt at not being able to deny the boy who had once been his ward when they were both younger and stupider. The boy he'd failed so spectacularly. But when Jason was fucking him he could offer himself up as a type of atonement by letting Jason do whatever he pleased with his body. Bruce would just calmly accept it after everything that he blamed himself for in their broken relationship.
And Jason had loathed that reaction or rather notable lack there of. That Bruce could lay back and be almost indifferent to what they were doing... And even though that wasn't true, Bruce had more than enough experience to remain in control of himself during sex.
After lot of pushing and snapping and hurtful words and unsatisfying orgasms, Jason figured out that what ripped Bruce's barriers down the fastest was to let him be the one in charge. That nothing pushed Bruce's sense of right and wrong like being the one to fuck someone so much younger than him. Like holding him the way Bruce barely dared to. Reveling in the feel of the possession of his warm alive body. The sense that in that moment, Bruce could keep him safe... could even make him happy.
Bruce was always a mess by the end of it and Jason pleased on a number of levels.
But then there were nights like tonight when Bruce tried to bring him home to the Manor and Jason couldn't seem to shake the agitation the familiar walls awoke in him. The defensive aggression that thinly veiled hurt and grief.
It made Bruce want to be tender and loving and hold his lost Robin till they could somehow erase the past.
It made Jason even more resistant to receiving any kind of positive feeling from Bruce.
It made Jason so tense that both fucking and making love were just about impossible.
"Alright." Sighed Bruce slowly pulling out of him. Guilt and pain overwhelming him when Jason couldn't keep back a small agonized sound. A sure signal that the discomfort must to be far too high to be anywhere near acceptable considering Jason's high pain tolerance.
"Oi, did you not hear what I just said?" Jason panted angrily glaring at the older man ignoring the fact that his cheeks were damp and his body almost shaking with relief as Bruce pulled all the way out and shifted back a bit, "you're not allowed to go anywhere."
"I am not leaving you Jason." Bruce said simply.
"You better not be." And the tiny hint of vulnerability in Jason's face made Bruce want to wrap him up in his arms and never let go, "after all the shit you've put me through you had at least fuck me properly tonight."
"I will." Promised Bruce sliding down his body gently massaging Jason's spread thighs. They were thick and full and well muscled and fit addictively in Bruce's hands as he squeezed and spread them further. Honestly, he could spend a night just worshipping Jason's thighs but he doubted the younger man would stand for it, "just shifting strategies."
"Bruce, if you finger me anymore I swear to god..." Jason threatened as Bruce let his hands slide down his legs to spread his cheeks and get a better view of Jason's puffy pink hole still winking and glistening with lube.
Bruce felt like such a dirty old man.
"I am serious, if you stretch me much more you'll be able to shove your fist of there-"
"And yet you are still too tense to take my cock." Bruce interjected, "you talk as if you want me to fuck you till you bleed, but not only am I unwilling to do that, we both know it would be an impractical move on both our sides."
Jason gave a light shiver. He knew it did things to the younger man when he spoke about sex in the same low tone that he might discuss a case.
"Furthermore," Bruce continued, kissing Jason's inner thigh as tenderly as he thought he could get away with, "there is no pleasure for me in hurting you. I want you to feel good."
"Bruce..." It was unclear if the name was a warning or a plea.
"For the night you are mine to cherish and to hold," Bruce whispered stroking his cleft, "to love and protect," lifted strong legs over his shoulders as Jason shivered, whether from need or his words it did not matter, "but never, never, to harm."
"S-so? Are you just going to- hhn!" Jason's back arched off the bed as Bruce licked a slow stripe over his hole. Liking the reaction, Bruce did it again and then again. Sometimes light kittenish licks with the tip of his tongue. Sometimes long slow, wet, presses of his tongue that had Jason choking on small suppressed sounds.
"Bruce, god, I-" Jason started in a wrecked voice. Bruce growled against his skin making Jason's cock jump and leak all over his stomach. He watched through hooded eyes as Jason bit his finger and tried to muffle the needy sounds that were being wrenched from him.
Bruce decided it was time to up the intensity and speared his tongue inside him.
"Bruce!" Jason shouted, beautiful blue eyes flying wide and strong legs locking over Bruce's shoulders trying to drag him in deeper. Bruce hummed and Jason quivered tossing his head back. With his free hand Bruce started pumping Jason's cock as he fucked and flicked his tongue in and out of him. Jason was moaning brokenly, clawing at the sheets and tossing his dark head as he attempted to writhe in Bruce's firm grip. When he seemed close enough, Bruce let his teeth give the lightest scrape over his rim and then a hard firm suck.
Jason gave a soundless shout as his body jerked and splattered cum on his stomach. He lay there gasping, eyelashes wet and still half hard but boneless and shivering as Bruce withdrew to get a better look at him.
His beautiful beautiful boy.
Blue eyes fluttered open to look at him, gaze still hazy with pleasure. Hair disheveled and curling slightly at the ends making his boy look thoroughly debouched. Bruce felt like something was breaking inside him as he leaned forward and kissed him. This beautiful man who was allowing Bruce to have him like this despite a thousand reasons why he shouldn't. His wonderful, precious lost Robin here safe and wearily kissing him back even though that was not something Jason usually allowed.
Gathering the man in his arms, Bruce carefully lowered the pliant body back into position on the bed and guided his cock back inside for the second time that night.
"Jason..." Bruce whispered. The irritated look that had been starting to grow on Jason's face from all tender kisses and gentle touches instantly smoothed into a satisfied smile as he took in the lost broken quality of Bruce's face as he started rocking easily in and out of the younger man.
The burning hot wetness of the body he was pressing into. The lewd sound of what they were doing. The way Jason's younger body was already almost fully recovered from his previous orgasam and ready to cum again. Bruce's insides burned with shame as he couldn't help but be hopelessly aroused by the whole thing.
"You like fucking me, don't you?" Jason murmured into his mouth as he rolled his hips back into Bruce's thrusts.
"Yes..." Breathed Bruce and it felt like confessing a crime. Jason's eyes glinted as if he was thinking the same thing.
"If people saw you like this what would they think? Kissing and touching your little ward gone rogue." Jason asked giving Bruce a wet dirty kiss to illustrate, bucked and ground his hips in an effort for Bruce to stay inside him, "making me want it."
Bruce made a deep broken sound. Couldn't hide the guilt on his face. Couldn't stop fucking him with increasing desperation. Jason was smiling even as the tempo increased and he started gasping and letting little sounds escape that betrayed a desperation that had Bruce barely able to see straight.
"Tell me, I've always wanted to know, do you take all your Robin's to bed or am I some kind of special?" Jason asked, chest heaving and eyes mostly amused and greedy.
"You're special." Bruce admitted letting his forearms fall on either side of the younger mans head boxing him in, covering him, wanting to surround Jason with himself.
"Yeah?" And there was a breathless kind of hunger to Jason's gaze, "show me how special. Take me. Make me give you everything you know you shouldn't want. Touch me. Make me desperate for your cock."
"Don't say those things." Growled Bruce pulling out and flipping him onto his stomach. Jason laughed and then moaned as Bruce started fucking him into the mattress. The younger man was panting wryly against the mattress. He tried to get up on his hands and knees but Bruce growled and shoved him back down.
"You wanted me to make you take it? So stay there and take it." Bruce rumbled over him. Bruce's large hands were pressing firmly on the scar riddled back in front of him so he couldn't miss the needy shudder those words invoked.
"Yes, yes, Bruce! Just like that. Make me. Please! Make me take it. Don't stop." Jason was mumbling into the sheets as he tried to twist just so he could feel the way Bruce wouldn't let him budge. It was such a high to watch the shine of sweat on the flexing muscles of Jason's as Bruce held him down. The tremble of pleasure in his limbs. The way he'd willingly given himself up to Bruce... trusting him with his pleasure.
Bruce let go of him with one hand and reached up to untangle Jason's fingers from the sheets. Brought the rough, scarred, hand to his mouth and kissed Jason's knuckles. And Jason must have already been high on pleasure because he gave the sweetest sigh of contentment at the tender touch.
For his part, Bruce was certain he just got harder.
Each thrust almost brutal now as it nailed the others prostate. Yet still it seemed Jason took him easier each time as he fully seemed to give himself over to the experience.
"Look at you. Don't deserve you. Want to make you feel so good." Bruce panted, now thrusting, now grinding in a way that would also grind the other mans hard cock into the sheets. Jason whined at the sensation, his fingers of his free hand scrambled on the sheets, back attempting to bow as Bruce squeezed bruises in the shape of his hands onto Jason's ass.
"Fuck, please, Bruce..." Jason gasped clenching rhythmically around him.
"So beautiful," Bruce muttered his composure laying in fragments around him as he picked up speed again, "so perfect, my Robin..."
"Yes," hissed Jason trying to buck back onto his cock, "like that. C'mon. Need it Bruce."
"Love you. Love you so much. Don't ever want to let you out of this bed." Bruce continued, voice a low rumble. He turned Jason again after a few minutes and folded him in half, legs over his shoulders and ass pressed to Bruce's pelvis.
He just wanted to see his face: Jason was back to that drunk on pleasure look that Bruce adored. Desperate, needy, vulnerable. He'd probably let Bruce do whatever he wanted to him while he was like this and the knowledge was heady.
Bruce swallowed Jason's scream in a kiss as he came between them. He managed one more rough thrust before the pulsing tightness of Jason's body rung his own orgasm from him.
Pushing sweaty black bangs off of Jason's forehead, Bruce gently kisses his brow. Blue eyes blinked at him a little dazed before fluttering shut as Jason fell almost instantly into an exhausted sleep without a word. He looked so young like this, almost exactly how he would when he dozed off in the cave after a hard patrol.
It made Bruce love him a little more.
It also made him feel a bit like a monster.
Bruce took his time kissing away the stray tears that had slipped down Jason's face and cleaning up the mess on his chest and stomach. After he was done Bruce reluctantly eased out of Jason's warm and relaxed body. It seemed a little perverse to watch his own cum trickle out of his previous ward, but he still couldn't help but reach forward and press some of it back inside. With one more guilty and longing look at the young man that he was still kneeling between the spread legs of, Bruce climbed out of bed and tucked Jason into the covers more comfortably.
He wanted to climb in with him, but previous experience said Jason wouldn't want to see him when he awoke. So Bruce pulled on his discarded pants and shrug into the sleeves of his shirt.
"Love you... So much." Bruce couldn't help but press a last kiss onto Jason's soft relaxed mouth.
Didn't see bright blue eyes flutter open to watch him turn and leave.