Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Things were good. Tharin had to remind himself that wasn't a bad thing. His son was happy and newly engaged. Safely away in another country. Alive and well. Khanin had even kept in contact with him, often calling to rant about classes or complain about how it was the third time that week that Thatdanai had made a Emmaly dish.

Thatdanai. The former guard was doing well with his forced retirement. He'd wanted to return as a guard, but still stay with Khanin, but Tharin had refused. He would stay with Khanin, but not as a guard, as his Por. They'd had phone calls since they'd left those months ago, but despite all of Tharin's best efforts, the man had remained perfectly formal and respectful. You are my king, your Majesty. I am only giving you the respect you deserve as your citizen.

Teenage days of Thatdanai being the only guard Tharin allowed to follow him when he snuck off had been long forgotten, at least by Thatdanai. He'd been a fixture in Tharin's life for so long, then he'd disappeared. All in one night, Tharin had thought he'd lost so much. His amazing wife, young child, and most trusted guard. All gone in the blink of an eye. If Tharin hadn't already been barely a puppet moving to the pull of his strings by his father, he might have lost his mind at the rumors that spread around the castle after Thatdanai's supposed defecting. Rumors that he was behind the attack on the Princess and young heir. Rumors that he'd been paid off to tell the location of the route. Rumors that he'd always seemed a bit too interested in the Assavadevathin royalty. So many had their opinions that were whispered when they thought no one of importance could hear.

Now, Tharin found himself clinging to every brief word during every phone call that he claimed was only about him wanting to know how Khanin was doing. Thatdanai was loyal and answered without question. It didn't matter if Tharin called him in the middle of the day there in the UK while sitting out on one of the patios late at night and staring at the night sky. He answered every phone call and every question as Tharin clung to some familiar comfort as he continued to work in Emmaly to do what his son hoped could be done for their country.

His appointment of a replacement for the acting rulers of Meenanakarin and his own replacement in Assavadevathin had went well. Neither Prince Rachata or Prince Chana had protested with his choices for lords when he brought them forth for any complaints. He'd sat in with the meetings for the miners representatives to hear their complaints alongside Lord Weerapat and was relieved to find that the new leader was equally as invested in bettering the lives of the citizens as he was. Progress was slowly being made, which was good. Things were settling in Meenanakarin after the acceptance of the lie that Prince Wasin had died in an accident and his replacement had also started managing the region well.

So yes, things were good, but it was too simple. Prince Ramil's growingly common absence from his father's side was noticed. Prince Chana's subtle greed that would slip into discussions seemed to have disappeared. Princess Ava was the only one truly acting how Tharin expected. She was respectful of his position as King now, but had grown bolder after Khanin's encouragement to speak up with her opinions and suggestions during meetings. He tried to always make sure to listen and genuinely consider what she said because he knew the danger an ignored royal could be and her generation would be the one that needed to embrace this change in the future that Tharin was slowly putting into motion.

Everything was going too well. It left Tharin on edge waiting for the other shoe to drop. For a challenge to his reign or his decisions or anything. There was still some distrust from the people because he had to correct more than two decades of mistakes he had made as the Prince of Assavadevathin, but even the majority of the population seemed to be starting to at least appreciate his current actions in the past few months.

It had been a long day of meetings but his night wasn't over yet. There was a charity banquet for the victims of domestic abuse that Prince Ramil had put together and Tharin knew he absolutely needed to attend, both to support the young prince separate from his father's meddling and maybe get the chance to speak more about the future with Ramil if he had the time. At the very least, he could catch him long enough to organize a meeting later. Still, he had some time before he needed to get ready and had already sent his butler, Den, to take a break.

Tharin looked down at his private phone that he held expectantly in his hand. He knew who he wanted to call, but as time continued on and Thatdanai had kept a perfect distance between them, he had started to hesitate more. At first, he could lie to himself and say that he simply wanted to check on Khanin and get to know more about his son's childhood from the man that had raised him. To the man that had become Khanin's por in his absence and raised an incredible young man. Now, he spoke to Khanin often enough and knew things were good there, but still craved the escape that his calls with Thatdanai brought. Could he still make excuses when he could no longer lie to himself?

Without letting himself doubt any further, because Tharin realized he really didn't care if he had a good excuse or not, he tapped Thatdanai's contact and turned on speakerphone as he set down the phone and relaxed back into the chaise lounge by the window in his office. The dial tone filled the air and Tharin stared up at the stars, already imagining the voice on the other side of the call.

"Your Majesty," Thatdanai greeted in such a familiar tone that Tharin could practically see his bowed head and hand over his chest. There was a bit of movement in the background then the hint of chopping noises, which had all grown familiar to the afternoons when Thatdanai would prepare what he needed for whatever dinner he was making that night. "What can I do for you?"

"Just calling to check in," which was Tharin's usual excuse since the true reasons were all things he felt he couldn't say. He was quick to continue, not wanting to risk his poor reasoning to be called out by the other. "I spoke with Khanin yesterday, but he was mostly talking about his classes and how Charan has some date planned for the weekend, but refused to tell him anything about it. A charming talk, but doesn't give the full picture." Talking about his son brought a soft smile to Tharin's face.

Thatdanai laughed softly to himself, barely picked up by the phone's microphone as he moved around the kitchen. "He doesn't know how to give a brief on what is going on, but he certainly knows how to talk," he said with an overwhelming fondness. "The date is to a local street market. Charan checked with me before hand if Nin knew the place or liked it. He's gone fully romantic since his retirement."

"Good. Khanin deserves to be spoiled even if he isn't a prince anymore." Tharin never had a doubt that Charan would do just that, but he would never grow tired of hearing about his son's joy after not knowing he was still alive for so long. He yearned for the day that they'd have known each other longer than they had been apart. For the hurt to feel like a distant memory instead of an open wound.

"He'll accept the spoiling, but absolutely none of the accidental title calling. He's been a terror to Chakri." Thatdanai made small talk in a way that tended to happen after greetings were done over the phone, with the formality slowly slipped away without him realizing it as long as they talked about the boys. "I swear, he just enjoys seeing the poor boy squirm."

"The few months there hasn't helped him adjust?"

"It's competing with a lifetime of being taught how to act around royals. Not an easy habit to break. The only time I don't see him pausing to correct himself is when he's talking about whatever TV show or movie has his attention at the moment. Khanin and Charan both seem to enjoy hearing all he has to say about such things and he's relaxed enough to not overthink. His passion for it seems unmatched to anything else in his life."

"Hmm, maybe that's worth looking into. He could get a degree studying it while he lives there, should he wish. Furthering his education is important if he doesn't intend to return to work here in the future."

"Spoken like a true father. Meddling, but trying to think about what's best for his future," Thatdanai teased as he shuffled over to get something from a cabinet, the door softly thudding closed after he'd released it. Somehow, each little sound painted a full picture in Tharin's mind, letting him imagine he was sitting right there with the other man, instead of being halfway across the world.

Tharin paused, wondering if it was really possible for him to possess any good skills as a father after being unwillingly absent from Khanin's life for so long. He felt like he had no real model for good parenthood after all his own father's manipulations had come to light. All he could say was he was glad Khanin even spoke to him after everything, but for Chakri? How could Tharin not care about the boy's future? He'd risked his life for Khanin. He'd brought a joy and comfort to the other while he dealt with adapting to a brand new life and the competition. And Tharin could also remember the little boy who had followed after his parents while they worked in the palace, enthusiastic and smart but proved too clumsy for cleaning without causing even more of a mess and too easily startled for tending to the stables because the animals could pick up on his nervous energy. He'd been unable to follow in either of his parents' footsteps, but ended up proving himself capable in the skills needed to be a good butler. While Tharin would welcome the boy back should he want to return, he would also be happy if the younger found more joy out in the world.

The silence had stretched too long, making Thatdanai speak up again with a hint of concern, "Khun? Are you still there?"

He hummed to acknowledge the question before clearing his throat. "Yes… yes, just got lost in thought for a moment. Did you have any advice for young Chakri? Share stories of how you handled shifting from model guard to father?" he quickly asked, not wanting the other to retreat away from the relaxed conversation.

It seemed to work well, when Tharin could hear an amused sigh before Thatdanai answered, "Oh, I messed up plenty when I first started taking care of Nin here, but I had the advantage of him being so young that he didn't understand the implication of my mistakes. By the time he got older, I had a handle on it much more so he could be safe. I always remembered the importance of his future, but he truly became just my boy Nin after a while."

"So, Khanin is safe from such formal interactions or titles with you… Will I ever be so lucky?" It was pushing it, throwing off the special balance they'd kept but Tharin grew more desperate with every passing day to hear that man's voice speak gently with him and say his name like it meant something.

"… Your Majesty." Thatdanai sighed. All other sounds of movement had gone quiet, like the other was just standing there and staring at the phone. Tharin tried to picture it: what his face might look like and how he might be holding himself so tense with uncertainty.

"You're no longer a royal guard after your resignation. You're just Khanin's por," Tharin pushed a bit more. Could he lean on that connection they both shared with Khanin to convince the other?

"I'm still a citizen of Emmaly. You are still my King," he easily countered the argument with an exasperation that didn't quite sound angry.

"So it would take your citizenship being revoked to get you to say my name?" It was testing boundaries the way a spoiled teenager might, pushing with an audacity that screamed 'Look at me!' because that's exactly what Tharin wanted. He wanted the former guard's attention and affection in a way he hadn't wanted anything in such a long time, that he'd doubted he could ever want anything anymore.

"It's no secret where Nin gets his stubbornness. It's clearly genetic," Thatdanai complained half-heartedly. The comment was distracting, but Tharin didn't mind because he'd always smile when the other would point out similarities between the father and son. Like he'd looked at Khanin and thought of Tharin. "Why does it matter so much? You are the King now. You deserve the respect of your position after everything."

What could Tharin say to that? How could he say that he felt so alone that he wished just one person in the world that he cared about would look at him and see him for who is was, not just his title. He knew that Thatdanai knew him better than anyone else that still lived. Thatdanai was the person he desperately wished for, even if all he could have was just his name being spoken with tenderness and nothing else. Maybe some boundaries were never meant to be crossed, but this one, just this one, Tharin felt like he needed so much he might beg. Instead of saying anything like that, he turned the question back on the other. "Why does it matter so much to you? Would it be such a hardship for you to call me by my name?"

"… Khun Tharin." It was so close, but not enough. It was almost cruel how close it was to what Tharin dreamed of, yet lacked the warmth he hadn't felt in so long and still was so formal.

"Not like that," Tharin scolded, his voice growing tense because his heart felt like it was being played with. Does he know? Is that why? He knows but doesn't dare deny me while still not wanting this too? Months of calls dancing around each other were clearly starting to take a toll on Tharin.

There was a long pause. Tharin had to fight the urge to take it all back and apologize just to not risk the small amount of happiness he could get from Thatdanai even with all of this distance. He was so tired of this. He didn't know if he should give up the fight and accept he was far too gone for any sort of happiness of his own. He'd lived numb for too long. He should just be grateful for the short moments he could steal. He should just apologize.

However, Thatdanai's voice softly broke the silence first. "I- I'll have to consider it."

A diplomatic answer. One that would only give the most desperate people hope. Unfortunately, at some point, Tharin had become that desperate. "Okay… thank you, Thatdanai." He wasn't sure exactly what he was thanking the other for, but it felt like all he could say at this moment.

Before they could grow awkwardly unsure how to return to their earlier conversation, there was a knock on the door. Den entered after an acknowledgement and told Tharin he would need to get ready soon. He politely thanked the man, who was quick to go wait outside since it was clear he had interrupted something. Tharin sighed, unable to hide his disappointment and already growing exhaustion for what would be another evening of formalities. It was important. He had a goal that he needed to focus on and he cared about that goal, but somehow, he grew tired of all these things so much quicker than when he was simply his father's puppet.

"You need to go," Thatdanai interrupted whatever spiraling thoughts had started to seep in.

"I do." Tharin hesitated, wanting to say more, but unsure of what. "Thank you… for updating me."

"Of course, Your Majesty." The title still stung, but it was a dull ache now that Tharin had started to shift back into his role as he mentally prepared for an evening full of politeness.

"I'll call you again… next week at the latest?"

"Okay, Khun."

Tharin paused, trying to think of anything else to say. "Text me if anything happens." If it was serious, he knew the other would reach out, but he also wished he'd just hear from Thatdanai on his own.

"Yes, Khun."

"You're trying to get me off the phone," he gently accused the other.

"I'd hate to be the reason you're late to the charity event."

"You're not even here yet you know all that's going on. Do you have a mole or do you just read the news constantly?"

"Not a mole, just Charan's friend, Wethis. He's very good at being in touch with all that's going on."

"You could have been a spymaster in another life."

Thatdanai huffed in amusement, the simple sound bring a soft smile to Tharin's lips in an instant. "Maybe so… but you still need to go get ready."

"… Yes, I do."

"We'll talk again later, your-" But Thatdanai stopped himself before the title slipped past his lips. Somehow, that small attempt felt like hope to Tharin. Foolish and childish hope, but still hope he wanted to cling to.

"Goodbye, Thatdanai."

"Goodbye, Khun." And with that, the line died before Tharin could come up with any other excuses or find any other words to say.

Tharin sighed to the empty room, unsure if he should feel foolish or just be glad that his mouth hadn't messed everything up and that Thatdanai was a good man. He closed his eyes, taking a moment to compose himself before he stood from his spot by the window and exited his private office.

Den and two guards were there waiting for him. His face was calm and his body language gave the confidence that was expected of him now. "Walk with me, Den. I'd like to hear your insight about the rest of the guest list for tonight and what you've heard about the reactions to Prince Ramil's event." He knew that the staff were often privy to secrets that wouldn't be whispered around someone of his station and had learned to encourage Den to share many many years ago, a choice that proved right when he knew he could trust the man even after what happened to his father.

"Yes, your Majesty." Instead of staying a few paces behind, Den walked only a half a step back as he quickly started to share the insights he had gathered both on the royalty and socialites that would attend but of Prince Ramil's organization of it and how Prince Rachata had seemed completely uninvolved in every matter related to the event. Outside of the haven of his office, Tharin had to return to the observant King, not letting a single detail that might cause problems go unnoticed, because he couldn't afford to not be prepared for whatever fallout might come. He'd let himself act out during his phone call with Thatdanai, but now he had to go back to being selfless for the people of Emmaly and the country's future. Tharin had to be hidden away. Only King Assavadevathin would be seen tonight under the curious and prying eyes of the public.

Chapter Text

The hall was decorated in a subtle lavish style, simple patterns and modest touches of gold and light green to accent the cream and white that gave an elegant feel. Tharin was impressed at the balance since an event decorated too frivilously for a charity would often draw critism, but Prince Ramil and those he had hired clearly took that into account. A simple quartet provided the music for the evening, with classical melodies offering entertainment in the background as well as an opportunity to those that wanted to dance to make use of the open space in the middle of the room.

Tharin moved around the crowded room with ease. He’d been trained his whole lifetime for this and with his new place as King, the masses seemed to part in his presence. His clothing kept the golden details that he had worn for many years as Prince and matched the expectation of the evening to not steal all the attention with a long, white jacket that only had a few embroidered details across the lapels and cuffs. The simplisty of it still drew attention, as well as how eyes generally drifted to a man of his station. 

Plenty of people approached him to exchange pleasantries before subtly bringing up whatever they actually wanted from him. Without stepping foot on the section of the ballroom reserved for dancing along to the music being played by the classical quartet, Tharin spent the evening with partner after partner in conversation that would engage in a skillful dance of negotiations and networking for their own benefit. 

In the background, the violins melody slowly faded, allowing for the cello to pick up where they left off. It's deep tone echoed through the chamber with natural confidence that almost mimicked the King's calm, commanding air. Respect and space was given without any forcing or fighting to be heard. Still, the viola and violins did not stop playing, dancing underneath with harmonies and rhythms that hinted their own desires. The social dance was what Tharin was used to. It gave a sense of relief to know these people wanted something from him. They weren’t hiding it. They thought they were being discrete, but it never truly was subtle.

Prince Ramil could be found making his rounds through the crowd as the night went on. Thanking people for attending or donating to the silent auction that was planned for fundraising before dinner would be served. Unlike the deep emerald that the court and tabliods were used to seeing him in, Ramil wore a dark olive green instead, with lighter details across his shoulders making a leaf pattern. His cravat perfectly matched the rest of his suit. The lighter colors made him fit perfectly in with the theme of the evening, as if every single detail had been hand picked with a perfect eye. Tharin had no doubt that was the case. The prince's posture seemed gentle and composed, free of the tension that Tharin had grown used to seeing when the young man was around his father. He hoped, despite how social expectations would require Prince Rachata’s attendance, that the young man would be spared from his father ruining the evening.

It wasn’t long before Prince Ramil found himself face to face with the King. “Your Majesty,” he greeted with a small bow of his head and hand to his chest. “Thank you for attending. It certainly helped the publicity of this event to have your presence.”

Polite, formal, and perfectly rehearsed. Tharin wondered how long the boy had practiced his words, treading carefully in this world as he stood on his own and not in his father’s shadow anymore. “I’m honored to be able to attend, your speech during the debate was an inspiration and I’m glad I can help support the goals you have for the betterment of our country.”

Ramil nodded his head, not quite a bow but a subtle submission and a hint of disappointment. Tharin doubted he’d even realized he’d done so. “Thank you for the kind words, Khun. Your dedication to the public since taking the throne has been an inspiration.”

“I’m sure you have plenty of good ideas and plans. Princess Ava has had many good suggestions during meetings… I’d love to hear more of yours when you have the time. Young people are the future and I hope to include you both in things more going forward.” Them, not their fathers, because Tharin knew the others too well at this point to trust they would ever give up their power without a fight. They would never put the people first. He knew not to trust because he’d been the same way. A lifetime of mistakes and turning a blind eye. Khanin’s return had broken through the walls and veils clouding and blocking his mind, but his peers had not had such an experience.

His invitation made Ramil pause, truly considering the words because they seemed to be a shock. While Ava had been bold without hesitation to take up space, Ramil had been distant since Tharin had become King. This event was his first major public involvement in the months since the competition. “I… I don’t know how much I truly can contribute, your Majesty. Princess Ava… she has many good ideas. This is simply the least I can do after all I said during the debate. Turning away from such a cause after using it as my platform would be wrong.”

Tharin smiled softly, seeing the hesitant boy underneath the composed surface. “Don’t underestimate yourself, Prince Ramil. You might be surprised all the things you could contribute with your own experiences and opinions.” It was Ramil’s thoughts that the King cared about, not Prince Rachata’s echoed sentiments that had been lectured into him. “What’s your schedule like next week? You could come to the palace and have dinner with me so we can discuss in a less formal setting.” Tharin paused, debating his next move for a moment. That was enough to at least arrange something because the younger would likely not deny his request, but he was unsure if Ramil understood how Tharin wanted things to be different, not just for the general public, but for the dynamics between the King and other royalty as well. “I’d love to properly meet your partner as well, if he’s free. I’m sure he could also contribute a great deal to the conversation.”

At first Prince Ramil went stiff, frozen with a distant look in his eyes that had an air of panic around the edges. Tharin knew that was a risk. He only knew from carefully shared whispers between staff that the Prince had left his family home and was staying somewhere else with his partner, who had been his companion since they were young until a few months ago. Tharin only knew of the boy from a distance, but based on the rumors, he knew that Paytai was an influential part of Ramil’s life and could have a place in the future. Even as King now, Tharin didn’t want to exclude the young man because of his past station or other biases. He needed them all to see he was doing things differently. So he would acknowledge a relationship that many in the court would simply ignore. He would stand behind them with the support that could let them be free from all of this should they chose to join into the plan Khanin hoped Tharin would stay dedicated to.

“Your Majesty,” Ramil forced the words out, clearing his throat as he tried to cover up all the vulnerability that were threatening to sneak through the cracks in his mask. “You… I really shouldn’t-”

“I am King now, Prince Ramil,” Tharin interrupted, making the younger man quickly shut his mouth and brace himself. He looked like he was holding himself ready to be reprimanded. “My choice to support you is not one I’ve decided on a whim. I come to this event to make my full support obvious. I am tired of the division between us. I am tired of the pain my generation and before have caused. You, Princess Ava, and even your partner are the future for our nation. If it’s as serious as it seems to be, he deserves a place by your side, just like any other partner of royalty deserves.” Such a dad, a voice that sounded like Thatdanai echoed in his thoughts. He just couldn’t take the hurt he saw in Ramil. He couldn’t imagine the pain he’d been blind to all of these years as he’d drowned in his own sorrow and not seen all Prince Rachata had done. The fiancé of a royal should not be only whispers among the staff, it should be a fact celebrated.

Ramil’s mouth opened, but he was at a loss for words. His mask was still in place. He was still aware they were in public, yet the King so proudly declared all of this, uncaring of the eavesdropping that was certainly happening around them. “You want both of us to come by the palace for dinner?” he questioned, because he was very much doubting that he’d actually understood the other at all.

Tharin smiled softly, showing more authenticity than he had all evening in more than a dozen conversations combined. “I would be honored to have you both come by for a meal and share your opinions with me, as long as you both are feeling up to it. I’m sure your visit wouldn’t go unnoticed.”

It was all flipped. A king should not be honored to have someone accept his invitation. It should be expected that the answer would be yes. It should be understood that getting any attention from the king is the highest honor. Yet, here Tharin was, speaking with such genuineness that it made the conversation feel much more intimate than would be expected at an event like this. After a long pause, where Ramil was watching the king closely, he spoke, “Okay. I’ll check with Paytai and find a good time for us to join you for dinner… Thank you, your Majesty.”

“I look forward to hearing from you.” Tharin pat the younger on his shoulder, a gentle touch that he moved quickly so it wouldn’t linger and feel heavier than it actually was. “Now, I’m sure you have many things to coordinate and people to speak with as our host for the night, I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

“It’s okay, really, your Majesty,” Ramil insisted, smiling just enough to feel real compared to the polite upturns of lips that had happened all evening. “Thank you… for coming. It was nice to speak with you.”

“It was good to speak with you too.” Tharin meant it. After more than an hour of shallow, transactional conversations, it had been so good to speak with and feel some progress being made with Prince Ramil.

With one last small bow and salute, Ramil left, falling back into his role for the evening. Not long after, Den appeared by the king’s side again. He shared a few whispered words, updating him on those that had arrived while he had been busy and other things that needed to be handled before dinner was announced. After a few moments of the exchange, where Tharin shared to keep his evening schedule next week open for his dinner plans, Tharin returned his attention fully to the room, ready to go back to the social dance of the evening and speak with everyone he was expected to. Responsibility still rested heavily on his shoulders, but his talk with Ramil had brought a feeling of lightness to his night. Another step forward in the plans that would make Khanin proud. Another brick laid on the foundation of a new future for their country and their people. Tharin was finally starting to let himself feel hopeful.

…

The rest of the event went as expected, with plenty more polite discussions. The dinner had been well organized and the food was delicious, as was expected when organized by a member of the royalty. By the time the crowd was starting to disperse and it was appropriate for Tharin to leave without it drawing attention, he was beyond ready to get home and collapse in bed. Still, the warm glow of the successful evening blanketed over him, keeping a smile on his face as he got into the back of his car. Den stopped by the open door, checking to see if he had anything else they needed to discuss tonight, but Tharin dismissed the suggestion, much more eager to enjoy silence on the ride back to the palace. Anything else that needed to be discussed tomorrow. So the butler instead would travel in the other vehicle so the king could relax.

The driver was ready to leave at Tharin’s word and once the guard that had opened his door for him got in the passenger seat, he gave a nod. “Just straight home. Thank you.” His home was the main palace now. After all these months, it was only now starting to feel true. So much of the palace held echoes of his father that sometimes he still felt out of place, but he was gradually starting to adjust.

Alone for the first time in many hours, Tharin found himself reaching into his pocket and pulling out his personal phone. Den had taken care of his official phone during the evening so he could focus on the event and people that wanted to speak with him, but now that he knew Khanin was alive and he actually had someone he enjoyed talking to, his personal phone stayed with him at all times.

The nightlife of the city slipped past as they drove away, leaving the bright lights from the skyscrapers behind as the roads grew more lonely. Tharin’s fingers rubbed along the sides of his phone, feeling the cool metal and the raised buttons with a light touch almost as if meditative while he stared outside of the window. He found himself imagining what what happening in that small home in the UK at that moment. It was still late afternoon there. Khanin had probably returned from classes. Now he was either stealing Charan for himself for a few hours or giving Chakri a hard time again. Tharin could picture his son’s grin and his soft laugh. He definitely got his smile from Khunita. The way it lit up his entire, round face. It had been like that when he was little too. Even at a young age, Khanin had the biggest smile and the most delightful little laugh when he squealed in excitement. There was now a gap in all of that recognition, but every day Tharin was grateful that his son was back. He always tried to focus on the relief instead of the anger of such things being hidden from him. His anger could not do him any good. Even before his father died, there was nothing he could really do in retribution for what the old man had done, and how that he was dead, Tharin could only try to move on because he’d never truly get answers from his father about why.

He was too lost in his own thoughts. The driver, who Tharin did not realize was not familiar like the guard that was with them, took the winding roads with a professional ease that didn’t raise suspicions until she slowed the car to take a turn off the main road. “Why are you turning off here?” the guard’s deeper voice broke through the silence, but it was too late.

Bright lights shined suddenly. The rev of another car’s engine. The screech as the driver slammed on the brakes. The guard reaching for his gun was barely a shift of movement before the impact. A loud crash. The other car ran directly into the side of the vehicle where Tharin had been leaning against the window. His whole body jerked from the impact. Glass shattered and was sent like tiny knives into his skin. His ears were ringing, unable to hear the shout of the guard. The sound of a bullet echoed through the air was only a faint pop.

It was wet. Blood dripping down his face made Tharin think of rainfall. Car crash? It’s raining? Where am I? Confusion flooded his system as his brain, that had been lost in thoughts of the past, struggled to piece together the sudden violence. A car crash in the rain. Tharin’s entire body was numb. His whole body too overcome with adrenaline to process properly. Was that more gunfire? Where am I? Khanin? Where’s Khanin? Fear flooded his body as he tried, but failed, to move. He needed to find his son.

Ignoring the subtle signs of deeper pain he couldn’t feel yet, Tharin moved in his seat, desperately searching and blindly reaching out towards the other seat. Why is there no car seat? Khanin is too small to not be in his car seat! Tharin’s panic only grew, unaware of his surroundings as he struggled against the tight seat belt until he could free himself. “Khanin!” he cried out. He needed to find his son.

Tharin didn’t know where Khunita was, but she would want him to find their baby. They would do anything for their son. He tried to push open the car door, but it was bent out of shape and no amount of shoving with every fiber of his being, despite the growing ache in his arm and chest, made it move. Other door. Need to go out the other door. He needed to find his son.

After scrambling out the other side, Tharin swayed and stumbled on his feet. His vision swam and not even the lights of the cars were enough to keep the darkness away. He looked around, searching for any signs of his son. Had he been in another car? Why don’t I remember? “Khanin!”

There were guards in uniforms. Shouting around him as he tried to keep moving. The car that had crashed into them was still there. A body slumped over the steering wheel. Another car was stopped behind them. Suddenly, there were hands on him. Trying to hold him. Trying to stop him.

“Your Majesty!” A familiar sounding voice called out. Tharin had to blink a few more times before the figure in front of him came into focus. Oh, it’s Den.

“Khanin,” he forced out the words. “We have to find Khanin.” Tharin couldn’t tell how slurred his speech was or how he was slowly putting more weight on his butler with each passing second. “Khanin!” He freed himself from Den’s hold, uncaring of how each step felt like stabbing pain that grew stronger every time he moved. All that mattered was Khanin.

The same hands grabbed him again before he could make it far. “Your Majesty, please. We need to get you out of here. There might be more threats coming.”

“Not without Khanin!” He struggled again.

“Khun Khanin isn’t here! He is with Thatdanai, your Majesty. He’s safe.” Den kept talking, but Tharin only focused on those words. Khanin is safe? He’s with Thatdanai… Yes, if he’s with Thatdanai, he’ll be okay.

“He’ll be okay,” he mumbled, as the strength that had him ready to search everywhere immediately abandoned him. Den’s hands tightened around him as his legs threatened to give out. “Thatdanai… he always takes such good care of us.”

“Please, your Majesty. We need to leave,” Den repeated.

“Okay.” The words barely made it past Tharin’s lips as anymore more than an exhale. He only made it a few more steps before the pain felt too much and his legs threatened to collapse underneath him as he leaned even more heavily against Den. Guards rushed forward. Arms took hold of him, relieving the weight off of his feet, but the pain still lingered.

The rest of the guards drew closer, taking a protective stance with their guns ready. Everyone was on full alert as the King’s awareness slowly faded. He was lifted into the back seat of the car, with a surprising care from the strong arms around him. The guards' fear was right under the surface, but none dared break their composure until the King was safe.

 “Khun, you need to try to stay awake,” Den’s voice came from somewhere nearby. When did I close my eyes? “Can you hear me, your Majesty?”

“Khanin,” he forced the word out.

“Khun Khanin is safe, Khun.”

Tharin hummed. “Good.”

“Please open your eyes, Khun. Stay awake… can you tell me about Khun Khanin? What is he studying now?”

Tharin tried to pry his eyes open, but everything was so bright and he really just wanted to rest. “Khanin… my son… he’s alive? He wasn’t in the crash?”

“Yes, Khun. He’s alive. He’s in the UK, remember? With Thatdanai?”

“The UK? Why?” Why does my head hurt so much? Is it still raining? My face is wet. Tharin’s mind struggled to make sense of things as the car he’d been put into began to move.

“For his studies, your Majesty.” Den’s voice had a forced calm to it, but the underlying panic was slowly threatening to resurface.

“Oh, his studies. And he’s with Thatdanai… That’s good. I trust Thatdanai. He’s a good por. Better por than me.” Tharin didn’t fully understand what he was saying, but it felt right. “Khanin was gone…” He fell silent for a long moment, confusion muddling his mind again. Why does my head hurt so much? Where am I? “Where are we going?”

“Back to the palace, your Majesty. You’ll be safe there.”

“The medical ward has already been called, your Majesty,” one of the guards from the front seat spoke up. “The doctor be ready for you when we arrive.”

“The doctor? Why? What happened?” The car fell silent as Tharin struggled to keep his eyes open.

“The car crash, Khun,” Den hesitantly said. “Don’t you remember?”

“Car crash?” Tharin felt his own panic return. The car crash. The rain. He’s gone. They’re both gone. “Khanin… is Khanin okay?”

There’s a quiet murmur from the front seat. “He already asked that,” one guard whispered.

“Shut up and drive,” the other scolded.

“Is Khanin okay?!” Tharin demanded, feeling suddenly more angry in a way that almost felt like a shock to him. He didn’t know why he was so confused. Where is my son?

“He’s okay, your Majesty,” Den spoke up with a professionalism that came from years of composure. It hid his own fear at the sight of their King’s panic. “You were the one in the crash, not Khun Khanin.”

“Oh…” Tharin went quiet again.

“Keep him awake and talking,” the scolding guard from the front seat said after the silence had stretched too long. A tense unease fell over the car as the guard driving did his best to get to the palace as quickly as possible and the other kept lookout for any more threats. That left Den, who felt woefully unprepared for all of this, to keep encouraging the King to speak and, when a few minutes had passed, reassuring again and again that Khanin had not been in the crash. The times he mentioned Thatdanai seemed to soothe the King the most, so he kept doing so. Over and over until they finally reached the palace and they could hand Tharin over to the medical staff waiting.

…

Thatdanai had just finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner when his phone rang. He was smiling before he even reached his phone, assuming that Khun Tharin was taking his first chance at freedom after his event to call. Thatdanai would have to calm the man enough to sleep quickly because he was sure the King had plenty of responsibilities early tomorrow and should not be staying up late just to talk to him. But when he picked it up, Wethis’ name lit up the screen instead. “Wethis, is everything okay?” The young man rarely reached out unless something was going on. Usually, their weekly calls were enough for him to brief Thatdanai on everything that was happening.

“Khun…” Wethis hesitated. Thatdanai had never known the man to be hesitant about anything. Bold and direct. Straight to the point. Those were all qualities he appreciated in the younger man.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s been an accident. The palace is trying to keep it hidden from the media so you might not hear about it yet… but on the way home from the event tonight, the King’s car was crashed into.”

Thatdanai’s heart went still. He didn’t even breathe. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. His brain panicked, wanting to deny such a horrible thing could ever happen. It was only years of training that allowed him to bring all the chaos in his thoughts to a heel. “What’s his status?” Because he couldn’t bare to ask if the man was dead. He just couldn’t.

“Being treated by medical staff at the palace. He was still conscious when they brought him in. There hasn’t been much word. I was able to speak with one of the guards… they said he looked in bad shape and kept repeating himself.”

“What was he repeating?”

“He was asking about Khun Khanin… and talking about you.”

Me? Oh… likely because I’m taking care of Nin. If he was asking about his son, of course I would come up. “Okay… I want an update as soon as you have anything.” Thatdanai glanced at his clock, realizing it was quite late in Emmaly now. “Or just one first thing in the morning after you’ve been updated.”

“I’ll send you what I know as soon as I know it. The palace has asked local police to help secure the site and track down those that escaped while they focus on the King, so I’ll be working here.”

Despite not wanting the young man to push himself and not envying him for the sleepless night ahead of him, Thatdanai was relieved that he wouldn’t have to go eight or more hours before knowing more. “Okay… Thank you, Wethis. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” It felt like a useless offer coming from halfway across the world, but he had to say it. He had to be there in any way he could. He told himself it was years of loyalty that made his heart race with fear because he couldn’t focus on himself in a moment like this. He had Khun Tharin to worry about. He’d have to tell Nin what was happening, because their son would never forgive being kept out of the loop in something so serious. There was no time for himself right now… there never really was. Always a reason to push that all to the side for later. He’d once welcomed such distractions, but now, all he wished for was to hear Tharin’s voice on a phone call like nothing was wrong.