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Max Verstappen always believed himself to have a clear mind, he always knew what he felt even if he didn't show it, even when it's something fucked up from his childhood that he has to laugh about or else he would lose his mind over it. He was always sure of himself until George Russell.

Max knew when his relationship with Charles was ending, it was inevitable. Neither of them were happy anymore, they were constantly snapping at each other for no reason and decided to call it off before they get to a place where they can't even stand to be around each other. After the break up Max and George kept running into each other all the time, one night they were in George's hotel room after a disappointing race on both of their ends and one thing let to another and they fucked to put it plainly.

It was so easy after that, they both needed to release stress so they decided why not use each other? Max kept telling himself every time after they slept together that it's just sex but when George was asleep in his bed, his curls messy and clinging to him, Max really couldn't deny the warmth it made him feel, as much as he hated to admit, looking at George while he slept, playing with his soft hair as he mumbled incoherently, it made Max feel things that he didn't want to feel. Not for George at least.

Max was pacing around his hotel room, he didn't know what to do or think, he just had an amazing time with George and they didn't have sex! They're not friends and they're certainly not lovers so it wasn't a date but why does it feel like it was one? Why did Max not hate it? Why is he so confused? Max sat down. He has a piece of paper and a pen in front of him and he began to write.

REASON TO NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH GEORGE RUSSELL!

Max started his list.

1. Always complaining.

George always has something to say or add on. His full, pink lips form a pout before he starts ranting. Max can't help the way it makes his heart ache for George, he can't stop his mind screaming at him to just grab George and kiss him until they're both gasping for air.

2. Clingy.

After sex George would cling to his side, he would nuzzle his face onto Max's neck or shoulder depending what position they're in. Max's left hand would always be in George's hair, playing with his soft curls, his right hand would be wrapped around George's waist.

3. Overly emotional.

George has tendencies to cry over stupid things. Like when they were at the beach together there was a bird with a broken wing that Max didn't think too much of but later in bed George just started crying so much and Max was so worried because he thought he had hurt George but then he started talking about the bird and how it's all alone and can't fly anymore and how horrible that is. Max didn't like seeing George crying. His bright blue eyes were all red and puffy and it made Max's heart ache in such a painful way that he can't even begin to understand.

4. Talks too much.

He's always ranting about something or talking about whatever inconsequential thing no one really cares about. He talks faster the more passionate he is about something, his already bright eyes lights up more if that's even possible and he's always gesturing with his hands. He falters sometimes when he thinks no one is listening but Max is. He could never bring himself to look away from George Russell.

5. Not Charles.

Max is very much over Charles but he can't help but make the comparison. They're both so different, Charles is more free whereas George is more disciplined. George is sensitive and cares too much about everything and he's just so frustrating sometimes and God help him because all of those things are the things he loves about George.

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𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Max is in the shower, I'm not snooping I'm just looking at the books on Max's bookshelf! I didn't think Max read this much but he has quite a few books here, I reach for one of the books from the shelf and a folded piece of paper falls from the shelf. I open it, I don't know why but I do.

Reasons to not be with George Russell.

Oh.

I reread the list a few times. Always complaining, clingy, overly emotional, talks too much and the one that hurt the most, not Charles. It really shouldn't hurt but fuck it does, it hurts so much and it shouldn't because I knew he didn't like, I know he isn't over Charles yet I let him in my bed, I let him in me knowing he thinks all those things about me, how pathetic is that?

I don't even register what I'm thinking, my heart is racing, my hands are shaking and I feel like I'm about to throw up. I shouldn't feel like this, I have no right to feel this way, Max isn't my boyfriend so why does it hurt so much? I grab my phone and leave. I don't know what to do or think but I do I just can't see Max right now.

My head is spinning, I feel so fucking sick and I can't stop the tears from falling from my eyes, I'm in the elevator but I don't know where I'm going, my room is next to Max's but I just can't be there, I just really can't be near him at all. I feel like I'm about to pass out and throw up all at once, it's disgusting and I shouldn't feel like this because I always knew deep down he never liked me, not that he ever claimed to but I can't help it, maybe his stupid list is right, maybe I'm emotional and clingy and complains too much, he may be right but it still hurts so fucking much.

The elevator opens but I stay in, I don't think I can leave the elevator without fainting. My vision is blurry and I feel myself falling, I feel someone catching me before it all when black.

I wake up in someone's couch. Everything is so bright and for a second I forget about Max, his list and everything I felt since reading it but it was only a second I forgot for then everything coming rushing back to me and I feel the tears again, streaming down my face and I hate myself for it.

"George..."

I hear a familiar deep Austrian accent say gently. I sit up slowly, tears still streaming down my face against my will as I bring my knees to my chest and try to wipe this tears away.

"George... Whatever happened, it's okay, alright? Whatever it is, I just need you to breathe okay? Can you do that for me?" Toto says to me as if I'm an inconsolable child rather than his employee but I nod regardless. He hands me a glass of water and I take a sip before handing it back to him.

"What happened?" Toto asked gently, sitting beside me.

"I-" I stop myself from talking after hearing how unsteady my voice sounds.

"Its okay, take your time." Toto says. I take a deep breath and breathe out. I feel so pathetic. I'm crying as I have anything to cry about and to my boss of all people.

"Max... Made a list... About all the reasons why he wouldn't be in a relationship with me." I finally say and feel beyond ridiculous for saying. I look away from Toto's unreadable gaze.

"He's a fool then." Toto says after a few minutes of silence. I still can't bring myself to look at him. I feel so dumb. I'm crying to my boss about a man who doesn't want me.

"Look at me, George." Toto says. I don't. My gaze is fixed on the floor, I feel his large hand grabbing my jaw gently, making me look at him. I feel ridiculous but at least I finally stopped crying.

"He is a fool if you can't see what a prize you are." Suddenly my head is spinning again. Hearing Toto say that means a great deal but the intense eye contact and his hand holding my face reminds me of things it shouldn't, if things Toto and I agreed didn't happen.

"It means a lot that you think that..." I say, gently removing his hand from my face but not letting go of his hand. There's a quite silence for a moment, his hand in mine, the size difference is uncanny. His thumb is rubbing ciomforting circles on my hand.

"Toto..." I say, almost breathless.

"George." He says back, his voice steady and his gaze isn't breaking from mine and for once I don't look away. Before either of us could say anything Toto pulls me onto his lap to straddle him. I kiss him.

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George has been acting weird ever since he just left my hotel room a few nights ago. He has been distant, not cold but just not his normal self either. It's bothering because George hasn't actually paid me any attention since ever since and I don't know why. Normally he's always happy to see me but I feel like he's been avoiding me because after the race I tried to talk to him but all I got was a congratulations for finishing P2 before he walked away. It's annoying. He's not usually like this so something must definitely be wrong.

A bunch of drivers are having dinner together to celebrate Isack's podium and George is here so maybe I can talk to him without him walking away after three fucking seconds. George is currently talking to Alex, I listen to them for a bit before easing my way into their conversation.

"You did a great job today Alex." I say, offering a smile.
"You too George, well you know, given the fact that there was a hole in your car you did a great job too." I then said, turning to George who already looks done with the conversation that I just started.

"You did a good job too Max." Alex said and there was a few seconds of silence because George spoke again. "Excuse me, I'm going outside for a bit of air." He said, placing his drink down and just like that he's gone. Unbelievable. I don't know why he's acting like this and avoiding me. I follow him out.

George is texting someone. He doesn't seem to notice that I'm outside with him.

"Who are you texting?" I asked, trying to sound casual as if I didn't follow him out here like some fucking stalker.

"It's none of your business." The Birt replied, not even sparing me a glance. That pisses me off.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I asked not even hiding how furious I am. That gets his attention.

"What?" He asks, putting his phone in his pocket.

"I asked what the fuck is your problem because you clearly have one. Why else would you be avoiding me?" I say, trying to calm down but he's so incredibly frustrating by just standing there and looking gorgeous and not even giving me the time of day!

"I don't know what you're talking about Max." He replied, turning away to look at the moon. He's just pissing me off now. I can't help myself. I grab his arm, pulling him back so he's pressed up against my chest.

"Don't play dumb, schat. It's insulting to both of us" I whisper in his ear while wrapping my arms around his waist knowing he'll start squirming soon. "You've been avoiding me." I say again, looking down at his bare neck, wanting to leave marks on his porcelain skin.

The cool air passes though us gently and my eyes never leave his body. He pulls away from me.

"Don't do that. We're in public." He says but the hunger for him doesn't leave me gaze and he's beginning to notice that. He looks away. My mind goes blank for a few seconds before all I can feel is rage.

"What the fuck is that?" I glare and he looks back at me with a confused look on his face. "On your neck. I didn't leave that there because you've been avoiding me for two fucking days George and now I see why."

"So what? We're not in a relationship Max. I can do whatever I want and whoever I want, you don't own me." He says it like it's no big deal. Like he's had other casual hook ups. I know him. George Russell doesn't do casual hook ups, he doesn't sleep around but clearly he did and isn't bothered that I'm furious.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Who did you sleep with George?" I asked demandingly. It's pissing me off more because I'm clearly upset about it and he's acting as if it's okay. It's not.

"It's none of your business Max." He said firmly.

"Were you texting him? When I asked you who were texting, was that him?" I push harder, wanting to who else's bed George was in.

"Again Max, it's not your business!" He says growing frustrated. Good. "Not my business? You've been in my bed for the past four months but suddenly it's not my business?"

"Not suddenly. It was never your business and never will be so just drop it!" He snaps.

"Yes it is my business becau-" He cuts me off.

"No it's not! We're not together Max. We had an agreement, one that involved seeing other people because again, we're not in a relationship! So no. It's not your business. What I do is of no concern to you and I'll have sex with whoever the fuck I want because I'm a grown adult and I certainly don't need your permission!" George yelled and I wanted to yell back but he was already going inside and I'm still out wondering who the fuck is seeing.

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𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞:

Toto and I said it wouldn't happen again. We said it the first time, we said it the second and third and now we're just saying it knowing we're lying to ourselves. When I'm with Toto it's different, I don't feel the piercing ache in my chest that I feel whenever I look at Max. I don't feel the need to be perfect and put together all the time when I'm with him but I want to be, I did for a long time but then Las Vegas 2024 happened.

I remember it so clearly, Toto was so proud of me and it was the greatest feeling ever knowing I made him proud, knowing I did well enough to earn the praise of the man I respected the most made me feel things that I couldn't even begin to explain. Later that night he stopped by my hotel room and we talked for what felt like forever and I didn't know what came over me and I kissed him. He kissed me back.

The morning after we said it was the last time but it really wasn't and we both knew it.

Now, after that unpleasant dispute with Max outside of the restaurant I find myself craving Toto, needing him to take all of the pain and hurt away like he has done many times before. I don't care how horrible it is at this point I just need him, I just need to stop thinking about Max because I'm becoming sick of hearing myself think about a man who just doesn't care about me, who views me as a possession rather than a person, it makes me sick thinking about how much I do still genuinely like Max and I hate myself for. I was lost in thought when my phone vibrates. It's a text from Toto.

Toto: Come over tonight.

I read it twice before getting up. I say goodbye to Alex and Pierre and congratulated Isack one last time before leaving. I try to not think too much on the drive to Toto's place, I want my mind to be clear, I want to be good after how disappointing the race was, for me at least.

I knocked on the door twice before waiting, Toto opened the door, his expression is neutral and I can't but wonder if he's disappointed in me, just thinking it makes me nauseous. My mind is racing but then Toto started to speak.

"Aren't you going to come in?" He said looking at me like he could hear everything inside my head, like he knows that the thought of his disappointment is enough to destroy me. Without a word I walked in, closing the door behind me. I follow Toto up to his bedroom.

My hands are shaking, I fidget with my fingers a bit to make the shaking less obvious but it doesn't work because Toto takes my hands in his. He guides me to the bed and sits next to me.

"Are you nervous, George?" Toto asks gently. I shake my head no, not meeting his gaze. "Look at me." He says and I do. I look up at him and I don't think I can keep myself composed. Is he disappointed? Does he think I'm not good enough for Mercedes anymore? Was I ever good enough? I feel tears in my eyes and I hate myself for it. How pathetic must Toto think I am? I'm crying and he hasn't even said or done anything.

Toto's wiping away my tears and I feel stupid for letting him see me like again.

"It's okay, it's alright. I'm right here." He whispers to me and I break. I start sobbing."I'm sorry- I'm so sorry!" Is all I manage to say between sobs. I feel his hand on my back rubbing circles and I hear him telling me to breathe. "I... I didn't mean to disappoint you." I say after a while. "Disappoint me? You think you've disappointed me? George, there isn't anything you could do that would make me disappointed in you, do you understand?" He says firmly.

"I could've done more." I say knowing that a podium was a possibility today. "Your car was damaged, it's your talent that kept up in P4. There was nothing more that you could have done, you made the team proud, you made me proud." I feel lightheaded by his words. I made him proud. That's all I ever wanted, to make him proud. "You did good today George." He says pulling me onto his lap, his hands are on my waist.

"I need you." I confess.

"How much?" He teases causing a whimper to slip out of my lips.

"Please... Please I need you... Now." I say not caring how desperate I sound. Toto gently flips our position, I'm on my back and he's hovering over me. He kisses me. I kiss back.

It's messy, his lips on mine, his hands roaming my body, my hands in his hair, we're kissing until we're both breathless, he pulls away from my lips and starts kissing my neck, he's sucking and biting marks onto my skin and I wish to feel like this forever. His lips on me is heavenly, my hands leave his hair to tug at his shirt signalling that I want him to take it off.

My hands are on him the second his shirt is off, fingers tracing the hard lines of his chest, the warmth of his skin burning against my palms. He groans into my ear, low and rough, like he can feel me unraveling under him. I drag my hands lower, greedy, needing to feel all of him, and he catches my mouth again in a kiss that’s nothing but teeth and desperation.

His hips press into mine and I can’t help the sound that spills out of me, muffled between our lips. Every movement, every touch feels too much and not enough all at once. I tug at his belt with shaking hands, impatient, needing him closer, needing him bare against me. He laughs softly against my mouth, like he knows exactly how undone I am, but he helps me, pushing his pants down just far enough before his hands are on me again, tugging at my clothes with that same impatience and neediness.

When his skin finally meets mine, it’s electric. Every inch of me lights up under his touch, and I can’t stop myself from arching into him, from wanting more, more, more

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𝐌𝐚𝐱:

I've been pissed off ever since that fight with George. I don't know why he's acting like that or why he's so interested in seeing other people all of a sudden. He's never been like this before, he's not acting like himself and worst of all, he's letting another man leave marks on him and that's what's pissing me off even more. I call Daniel over to hang out today and really just get a second opinion on that argument with George.

Daniel arrives shortly after we talked on the phone. "Hey mate!" He greets with a smile. I give a nod, not being able to force a smile right now. "What's with that look?" He asked, sitting on the chair opposite to mine. "George." I say plainly. He raises a brow. "What's up with George?" He asked. "He's just acting so different!" I replied instantly. "We've been hooking up for a while now and then all of a sudden he's acting weird and during Isack's dinner celebration I followed him outside and he was texting someone and basically I was kissing his neck and there were hickeys there! Hickeys I didn't leave! And when I called him out on it all he had to say was that we're not together!" I take a breath after finishing telling him what happened.

"Wow... That's a lot." He says, stopping for a second before continuing. "Well, I mean he had a point mate. You two aren't together and h-" I cut him off. "Who's side are you on?" I glare but Daniel laughs like something is funny. "Don't laugh!" I yell. "I'm sorry for laughing." He says while still laughing. "It's just, weren't you the one who didn't want a relationship, especially not this soon after Charles." Daniel says and continues to talk. "It's a bit hypocritical that you're pissed at George, so what if he has another guy?" I feel my eye twitch at the last part of his sentence. "He can't have another guy!" I exclaim. "Why not?" Daniel asks. "He just can't. Not while he's with me." "But he's not with you." Daniel counters. "Daniel-" "Come on mate, you don't want a relationship, he don't want to do the whole boyfriend thing but you don't want George to be with someone else? Do you like him or is this just an ego thing?"

"I don't like him and this has nothing to do about my ego! It's about George. He's acting different. We haven't been with each other in like a week, he's avoiding me and when he does speak to me it's just fucking formalities! And who could he be seeing other than me? I need to know Daniel!" I explain, sighing afterwards at the fact that I haven't touched George in a week. "Why do you need to know? It's not your business." Daniel says plainly." You're starting to piss me off too." I say bluntly causing Daniel to laugh.

"I really don't get or understand why he's avoiding me. Do you think it's because of this new guy?" I ask. "Yeah probably." Daniel says. "You think it's someone we know?" I ask again. "I mean, most likely. Think about it, there's like a ninety-nine percent chance it's another driver because let's be real, he had hickeys on his neck on the night of the Dutch gp, it has to be another driver because who else is George seeing that often when you guys are traveling?" The thought of George with a fellow driver annoys me deeply. "Maybe it's Albon. They're always together." I say, not bothering to hide the annoyance on my face. "It could be." Daniel says and then add, "or maybe it's Gasly. They're always been quite close." " Him and Pierre? That's... No, I don't see that." I say with a sigh. "Or maybe it's Lewis! They've flied together a good bit of times." Daniel says enthusiastically. "Why the fuck do you sound happy about that?" I asked with a glare. "Hey don't glare!" Daniel says. "And I'm not happy about it, it would just make sense I guess. George always idolised Lewis." " Lewis is thirteen years older than him." I say. "So? Maybe he's into that." "Maybe not? He's into me and I'm not thirteen years older than him." I mumbled.

"So... Since you're this mad about George seeing another guy, does this mean you're over Charles?" Daniel asked cautiously. I sigh before answering, "Charles and I weren't exactly head over heels for each other. It was more like friends that have sex but not really friends because he was just constantly getting on my nerves and I know I was getting on his nerves too. And I'm not mad about seeing another guy!" I say and Daniel gives me a look but doesn't say anything.

"Try not to think about it too much mate. Just give George his space, let him breathe for a while." Daniel advised. "Oh, I didn't realise he was being suffocated." I bite out with a glare. "Max, you know what I mean." He says. "No I don't! Why should I give him space? Space for what? For Albon, Gasly and Hamilton or whoever else to have him?!" I exclaimed loudly. Daniel gives me another weird look. "Right... But you don't like him?" He asks again. "I already said I don't." I answered. "Right..." Daniel says.

Daniel left after a while. I scroll through my contacts and click on George's contact. "Come over." I text him. Three minutes pass. What the hell is he doing? Why isn't he answering? Is he with Albon? Gasly? Hamilton? My mind is racing but then he texts back. "Can't. Busy." The message says. That's weird. George doesn't text like that. "Tonight then." I texted back immediately. "I'm busy tonight." What the fuck is he so busy doing? "Come over tonight or I'll come to you." I texted. "Fine." He finally agrees. Good. I'll see him tonight then.

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𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞:

When I read Max's text I knew he wasn't I knew he did mean it when he said if I don't come to him, he'll come to me and I don't want him over at my place right now. I shower and got dressed before heading out. I get to his place shortly after. I texted him letting him know I'm here and he replied saying the door's open.

I go inside and close the door behind me, Max isn't in the living room so on instinct I go to his bedroom and there he is. "Max." I greet him and he looks up from his phone before placing it on the nightstand, he's now sitting on the bedside. "Well?" I say trying to sound annoyed but a smile tugs at his lips. "What were you so busy with schat?" He asked. "It's none-" He cuts me off. "None of my business huh?" He laughs but there's no humour behind it. "Is it Alex?" He asked sharply." What? Max what are you-" He cuts me off again. "Or is it Pierre?" He asked glaring at me. "Or maybe it's Lewis?" I'm confused about what he means and why he's glaring at me. "Max, I don't know what you're referring to." I say calmly not trying to upset him further but he just scoffs. "Which one of them is fucking you George?"

The silence after he said that was eerie. "What the fuck are you talking about Max?" I glare. He stands. "Don't act all offended princess, you know I know about the other man so who is he?" Max asks after insulting me. "Who he is has nothing to do with you." I say trying to remain calm but it's hard especially when he's insulting me by calling me princess. "Oh but that's where you're wrong. You see, this new guy you're seeing may think he has some claim over you but we both how you belong to." He says with an insufferable arrogance that drives me mad.

"What makes you think he's the new guy, Max? What makes you think I wasn't seeing him before we started fucking around?" I snapped and the look in his eyes is of pure rage. I don't think I've ever seen him this mad at me. "What the fuck did you just say to me?" He glares, walking closer to me. "You heard me. What makes you think I wasn't his first, because I'll tell you Max, I definitely was." I say wanting him to get angry now. Of course Toto and I aren't emotionally involved but seeing Max getting angry thinking otherwise makes me feel vindicated . "Shut the fuck up." He growls. "Why? You wanted to know about him so I'll you all what we get up to in my bed." It's so easy baiting him in. He's so mad and for what? He doesn't like me but his ego is so frail that he gets upset about another man in my bed.

"George, I'm so fucking serious, stop or else I'll have to remind you who owns you." He says getting closer, if even possible given the fact that my back is pressed up against the wall. "I know know owns me Max, in fact I was with him last night." No I wasn't but he doesn't need to know that. Before I can say something to bait him again, his hands are grabbing me and dragging me towards his bed. He practically throws me onto his bed and he starts undressing. Fuck. He looks good.

Before I know it, he on me, his hands are under my shirt and his lips are on my neck. I chew onto my bottom lip trying to concealed my moans. One of his hands slid onto my belt and starts undoing it. He gets my pants off and then reach to take off my shirt, I let him. Once my shirt is off Max falters for a moment and I feel an ache in my chest, is he not attracted to me anymore? Do I look different? But then he speaks. "You let him mark you like this?" He growls, eyes fixed on the fading hickeys on my chest. "Yeah." I say bluntly. He leans down, mouth on my chest, he's biting and sucking on my chest before moving up onto my neck.

"Max-" I say, I was about to tell him not to leave visible hickeys on me but he speaks. "Shut up." He says roughly. "I've heard enough from your mouth tonight." He says not even looking at me. "You let someone else mark what's mine." He growls out, biting over the mark above my nipple that was left by Toto. I can't suppress my moans anymore, an embarrassingly breathy moan escape my lips. "Now, I have to take back what mine because you just couldn't wait to run back to him huh?" He asked by it was rectorial.

Max has me on all fours in the centre of his bed, he's teasing me with his cock. He's rubbing it against my hole but not putting it in. "Please." I whimper out trying to not think about how desperate I sound. "Beg." Max says in a single command. "Please... Please Max, I... I need it... Please..." "Please what, schat?" He asked knowing what I want. "Max-" "Say it." He demands. "Fuck me." I whimper out and one of his hands left my hips and grabs my throat pulling me up against his chest. He turns my head towards him for a kiss but I turn away. "I'm not here for that. Well, not from you anyways." I whispered and for a moment he didn't move but that didn't last long before he pushes my face down in the pillow and thrust deeply in me.

The sound I made was muffled by the fabric, but it ripped out of me anyway, loud and desperate. Max groaned behind me, low and rough, his voice cracking with the force of it. He didn’t give me time to adjust, didn’t give me anything but the press of his body pinning me down and the relentless drive of his hips.

Each stroke shook through me, harsh and precise, his rhythm unyielding. My fingers curled in the sheets, knuckles white, as I pushed back against him, unable to help myself. He felt too good, so thick, deep, stretching me until I was unraveling beneath him. My moans spilled out, helpless and constant, swallowed by the pillow but loud enough that even I could hear them echo back.

“Fuck, George,” Max gritted out, his hands gripping my hips so tightly it bordered on painful. “You’re so- God, you’re perfect.”

The words hit me harder than they should have, heat rushing to my face even as my body clenched around him in response. He groaned at the reaction, his pace stuttering for a second before he slammed back into me, harder, deeper. The bed frame creaked with every thrust, the sound of skin on skin filling the room, obscene and intoxicating.

I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. All I knew was Max-his voice, his body, the way he filled me until I was shaking apart. My name tore from his throat again and again, rough and broken, like he couldn’t stop himself.

I twisted my head to the side, gasping for air, and managed to choke out, “Max- please-”

He bent over me then, his chest pressed to my back, his breath hot against my ear. “Say my name again.”

“Max.” The sound came out strangled, more a whine than a word.

“Again.”

“Max- Max-” I couldn’t stop, not when every thrust had me teetering closer to the edge, my body burning from the inside out.

He groaned, deep and guttural, and his hand slid from my hip down between us, wrapping around me. The sudden touch had me crying out, my entire body jerking as pleasure spiked sharp and fast. His fist worked me in the same relentless rhythm as his hips, and I was gone, completely gone.

The pressure coiled tight in my stomach, snapping with brutal force as I spilled over his hand, moaning his name like it was the only word I knew. My whole body shook, trembling under the weight of it, but Max didn’t stop.

He cursed loudly, thrusts turning erratic, desperate, until with one final, broken groan he pressed deep inside me and came undone. His whole body shuddered against mine, his weight heavy and grounding as he collapsed over me, both of us wrecked and gasping in the dark.

Max stayed on top of me for a moment before rolling onto his side. I contemplated staying for a second but then I snapped on out it

"Can I shower before I leave?" I asked, reaching for my discarded clothing. "Do whatever you want." Max muttered, not even looking at me. I went into the shower.

I spent maybe twenty minutes in Max's shower before I got dressed and left.

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𝐌𝐚𝐱:

George left a few hours ago and I'm still in bed, I can't feel anything. I had amazing sex with him and here I am in bed feeling numb and alone. "I didn't come here for that. Well, not from you anyways." His words echo in my mind. I don't know why it hurts so much. My heart aches just thinking about it, why does it hurt? Why didn't he kiss me? If not from me then who? The thoughts run wild in my mind. I don't want to get up but I should. I should go shower and stop thinking about George so I try. Q

Hot water drops down my body and all I can think about is George, about how George didn't kiss me, about how he always had another man, about how I'm George's side piece. I gets out of the shower after a while hour of just standing there with his head again the titled wall. I never thought that George would be like this. George of all people. George doesn't do casual hook ups and to think that he had someone before me drives me insane. I don't know why he's avoiding me if he had this man before he started seeing me, I don't know why he didn't kiss me and I don't know why he didn't stay the night. It makes my chest ache in an unfamiliar way and I hates it. I hate George for making me feel all these stupid useless things. These feelings won't ever accomplish anything so why is my mind hung up on George Russell is beyond me. I don't want to think about him but my brain won't stop. It won't stop even when it makes my chest ache and burn. I feel ridiculous. I'm all upset because he didn't kiss me.

But why didn't he?! God it's exhausting wondering what he's thinking and I don't want to be wondering about him ever or at all. It's just sex. It truly is. And it only bothers me because kissing normally happens during sex but George didn't kiss me. He turned away from my lips. I wonder if he lets his other man kiss him, the thought itself makes me sick. My mind won't stop, my brain is fixated on what George is doing and why didn't he kiss me . It's frustrating knowing he has someone else, knowing that the someone else had him before me.

It's not like I like him or anything it's just strange, I never thought George would be casually sleeping with someone else and not want a relationship with said person. I think it's definitely Alex. Pierre is unlikely and Lewis is too old for George. Alex is the safe option, George likes safe. I don't see him with anyone else, not that I like the thought of him and Albon, I hate it to be frank but if George wants Alex fine. Fine he can have Alex all he wants but would Alex want him after he finds out what George and I have been doing? I text him.

Max: Are you busy right now?

Alex: Not really. What's up?

Max: I need to talk to you about something.

Alex: About what?

Max: Come over to mine place and we'll discuss it.

Alex: It's like 11pm??

Max: Tomorrow then.

Alex: Alright man. I'll swing by around 9.

Max: Sounds good.

Chapter Text

𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱:

Last night when Max texted me I was a bit surprised because we don't really talk much outside of racing. I mean, we're cordial and even friendly but we don't really hit each other up to hang out or talk about things. I have breakfast then get dressed and head out to meet up with Max.

The drive to Max's place wasn't long, I knock on the door and after a few minutes Max opens the door. "Alexander. Come in." He says, using my first name which is kind of weird but I go in anyways. "So, what's up mate?" I asked him, sitting in the chair opposite to his. "You tell me." He says. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You and George. I know about you two." He says so seriously and I almost laughed.

"Me and George? What exactly do you know about us Max?" I asked tying to hide my amusement at his nonsensical implication. "I know you two are sleeping together." He says, not looking away, hell, not even blinking. "We are?" I asked but Max didn't get that and took it as confirmation.

"I knew it! I knew it was you." He says and I'm starting to think he's a bit unwell. "Mate... What's this about really?" I asked not bothering to mask my concern for him but I really don't know what he took it for. "Don't play dumb Albon." He scoffed. I raised a brow and Max started speaking again. "You need to stop seeing him. You can't be with him anymore because he's with me now." Max and George? Wow. George didn't tell me about this. I may not be sleeping with George but Max is under the impression someone.

"Why should I?" I asked knowing I'm sure as hell not sleeping with George. "And since when did you two start dating?" I'm asked because how the hell could George be in a relationship- with Max nonetheless and not tell me about it! "We're not in a relationship." Max sneered. "And you need to stop seeing him because I'm seeing him." Oh? They're not in a relationship but Max doesn't want George seeing someone else? Very interesting.

"Are you like in love with him or something?" I asked with a raised brow. "No! No. I don't love him, I don't even like him!" He exclaimed. "But you want me to stop seeing him?" I asked. "Yes." He confirmed. "Why?" I asked again. "Because he's not yours Albon." Max said with a glare. "Well he's not yours either Verstappen." I say, getting annoyed on George's behalf because Max said he doesn't even like George so he can't be acting like this. Max's eye twitched at my words.

"Look, I really don't give a fuck what you two have going on but it's over now. George doesn't need you." Max says. "I guess I could say the same thing to you, Max. You can't tell me to stop seeing George and you certainly can't George who he can or can't see. He's a grown man and you're not his boyfriend so why don't you try minding your own business?" I say standing up to leave because I'm over this conversation. Max says nothing. I leave. In the car I text George letting him know that I'm coming over.

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𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞:

I just got home from a run and I see a text from Alex saying he's coming over. I texted him back saying okay and then went into the bathroom to shower. After my shower I went to my room to get dressed and went I finished I went back out to the living room and almost had a bloody heart attack.

"Jesus Christ mate!" I exclaimed, startled by Alex who's sitting in my couch. "Is there anything you want to tell me?" He asked. "No? Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked back, sitting next to him. "I know about you and Max." He said and I felt my smile fading. "Alex-" I started by he cut me off. "Why didn't you tell me? And who's the other guy?" He asked shifting closer to me.

"I... I don't know why I didn't tell you. I guess I'm just embarrassed about the whole thing. I mean, everything that happened last year with Max and I, the fact that he hates me and that him and Charles broke up not even a year ago... It's just so messy and I'm humiliated by it but at the same time I'm just so weak when it comes to Max and I hate it." I explain barely looking Alex in the eyes. "George... You have nothing to be embarrassed or humiliated about. I mean, yeah it's a bit messy but so what? You're not in a relationship and neither is Max." Alex said gently. "And, you don't have to tell me who the other guy is. I'm sorry I came on so strongly." He said. "You don't have anything to apologize for." I say to him before adding. "It's Toto."

"TOTO WOLFF?" He yells. "As in- no." He said shaking his head. I resist the urge to smile at Alex's dramatic reaction. "Wait... You're not joking?!?!?" He asked astonished. "It only happened a few times... The first time was last year." I say. "Oh my god." Alex says and just when I think he's finally calming down he goes off again. "He's twenty-six years older than you! He's- he's your boss! Wait... Is he- are you- is it something you want or is he-" I cut him off. "It's consensual Alex. Toto wouldn't do something like that." I say firmly. "Good." Alex says sighing.

"How did you find out about Max and I?" I asked once Alex seemed to process everything about Toto and I. "Max invited me over and told me to stay away from you because to quote him "He's not yours Albon." So basically that was it and um he kinda definitely thinks it's me you're sleeping with because I told him you're not his either and he can't tell me to stop seeing you." Alex says. He did what? I feel myself growing furious at Max.

"He had no right to do that!" I exclaimed. "Why do you think he did?" Alex asked. "Because it's just how Max is. He's territorial and his ego is fragile." I explain with a sigh. "Sure... And you're certainly not feelings are involved?" Alex asked carefully. "I'm certain. That's definitely not an option." I say but Alex doesn't seem too convinced. "It's not and I know it because Max made a list of reasons not to date me and the last one was I'm not Charles. He loves Charles still." I say looking down at my trembling hands.

A comfortable silence falls after I say that and I thought that was the end of it but then I feel Alex pulling me into a hug. "He's an idiot then." Alex whispers and I return his hug. "No it's fine." I say, burying my face deeper in Alex's shoulder. "No it's not. He's childish and ridiculous for doing that and he should be grateful you even look at him." Alex says and his words make my chest ache. I pull back. "Thank you Alex." I say. "Anytime mate." He says with a warm smile and then stands, pulling me up with him. "Alright enough with the Max talking we're going out for lunch!" Alex says dragging me to the door with him and I just laugh, grateful that I have a friend like him.

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𝐌𝐚𝐱:

I can't believe the fucking nerve of Albon. How dare he refuse to stop seeing George? I'm genuinely pissed off now. He was so disrespectful. I'm going over to Daniel's place to tell him all about it and how I was right about the guy being Albon. It took a while getting to Daniel's place because of traffic but I waste no time knocking loudly on his door.

"What did my door ever do to you mate?" Daniel asked after he opened the door. I ignored his question. "I was right. It's Albon." I say as I walk into his house. Daniel close the door and follows me to his living room. I sit on the couch. "How are you so sure?" He asked sitting next to me." "Because I had him come over and he admitted it! And he had the nerve to say he's not going to stop seeing George! Like can you believe that? He was so disrespectful! He was saying that I should mind my own business and that I can't tell George who he can or can't see! Can you believe that?!" I exclaimed with an exhausted sigh. "So, you invited him to your house, told him to stop seeing George and you're mad he's not going to stop seeing the guy he was with first? Yeah, I can believe that actually." Daniel replied.

"What the hell mate? You're supposed to be on my side." I scoffed. "There are no sides. George isn't your boyfriend and as you said you don't have feelings for George so what's the problem?" Daniel says and I hate it because he's right. "I don't know why it's bothering me but it is, I can admit that much." I sigh. "I dunno... I guess I'm more upset too because George didn't let me kiss him while we were having sex and the thought of him kissing Albon is suffocating me. I hate it." I confess. "You need to ask yourself why it bothers you bec it's not fair to George and Max, I love you man but don't you think this is confusing for George? You told him you don't want a relationship but you're upset he's with Alex. I know you don't mean to but you're sending him mixed signals, mate." Daniel said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't know why or how this got so complicated so fast." I say. "I mean we were fine but he just started to switch up out of nowhere. It's him that's confusing because for the last month's he use to be all over me all the time, we use to talk everyday and I know he wasn't seeing Albon then so why did all of that change? Why did he decide enough anymore? I got so used to having him around and now that he's not I feel annoyed and upset that he it's speaking to me anymore. I mean, sure I miss kissing him and holding him but it's not just the physical things I miss y'know? I miss the late night conversations and the way he used to look at me. He doesn't look at me anymore but all I look at is him. His lips. His eyes. I can't ignore how much is bothers me knowing Albon has him." This is the most I ever told Daniel about George and I. It's the most I've ever let myself think about George.

"You need to speak to him. Find out what you feel first and be sure of it then go him. We both know George, he wouldn't just pull away like that for no reas-" I cut off Daniel's words. "But he did! He did, Daniel. We were fine and then he started avoiding me and acting like we had nothing! I-" Daniel cuts me off this time. "Because that's what you said Max. You told him it's not a relationship so of course he started seeing Alex again. I know it's frustrating but it is what it is. You need to figure your shit out and speak to George." Daniel says with a sigh and I don't argue because I know he's right. I reach for my phone to text George but he beat me to it.

George: We need to talk. Come over tonight at 8.

Max: Okay.

I feel good about George texting me. He wants to see me so obviously he still wants me.

Chapter Text

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞:

After I got back from lunch with Alex I texted Max telling him that we need to talk. I need him to understand that he can't just demand Alex to stop seeing me. He was always the one going on and on about how we're not in a relationship and not to mention the list. He had no problem making a list about why he wouldn't date me so he has no right to dictate who I do or don't see.

The afternoon goes by rather fast, I finished some errands, had dinner and showered. Before I knew it Max texted letting me know he's here. I let him in and take him to the living room because it's away from my bedroom. Max started speaking. "So it's Albon." He said sharply and I just sighed. "What you did, calling Alex over to your house and interrogating him like that was weird Max. You had no right to do something like that." I say calmly. "Well if you had just told me like I asked you too, I wouldn't have felt the need to do it." Max countered and I feel my frustration raising.

"Do you even hear yourself?!" I snapped. "You had absolutely no right. None at all yet you continue to get yourself involved in my life when it doesn't concern you!" I yell and I almost feel bad but then I remember every time he said it's just physical and then I think about that stupid list and all the remorse I felt in that fleeting moment disappears. Max glares at me.

"Why the fuck are you acting like this? It hasn't even three weeks now when you were all over me and now you're seeing Albon, you barely look at me and now you have the audacity to tell at me?" Max says. I scoff. "You're one to talk about audacity." I mumbled, looking down at my hands. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked roughly. "Forget it. Just, stay out of dating life please." I say looking into his beautiful sky blue eyes.

"So you're dating him?" He asked in a scoff. "No, I'm not but it's not your business." I say softly. I don't like being upset with him, I don't like fighting with Max but I know what he thinks of me and I hate myself for being weak when it comes to Max. "It's just physical with him then?" He asked, softer this time. "No Max. I'm not dating Alex and I'm not sleeping with him." I say firmly.

"Then who?! Who is it that I'm competing with for you time and attention George?" Max asked, frustration dripping in his voice and I feel my heart aching at the knowledge that Max thinks he's competing for my affection. "You're-" I sigh at the tremble in my voice. "You're not competing with anyone Max." I whisper. "Who is he, schat? Please just... Tell me." He sounds so defeated and my heart aches for him. I know how he how he truly feels about me and even now when I'm aware of his list and how little he respects me, my heart still aches at his tone. I know I shouldn't but I tell him anyway. "It's Toto." I say, breaking eye contact.

The silence after is deafening. Max gets up and starts walking to the door without a word. "Max-" I try to call to him but the sound of my front door slamming shut is all I'm met with. I really fucked up by telling him. All I can do is hope Max doesn't do anything crazy.

Chapter Text

𝐌𝐚𝐱:

Torger Wolff. That's who George is sleeping with. I can't even explain how I'm feeling right now. I drove around for a few hours before going home. I can't believe George would do something like that. I thought I knew who George was. I thought he had integrity or at least a little bit of self-respect. I thought wrong apparently. I pour myself a drink and and downed it all in one mouthful and continued like that until the bottle was emptied.

I reach for my phone and unlocked it, I winced at the brightest of the screen. I go into contact and scroll until I find George's name. I click call. It rings five times exactly before he picked up. "Max?" He answered sounding like he just woke up. "Come over now." I demanded and was met with minutes of silence before he spoke. "It's late... Can we talk about it tomorrow?" He asked and it just pissed me off more. "No. Absolutely not. Come over right now or I'll come to and I've been drinking George so you really don't want to me drive right." I say not bothering to hide my annoyance and fury at him. "I'll be there in a few..." He mumbles. I hang up and waited.

It's been thirty fucking minutes and he isn't here yet. I grab another bottle and start drinking again. It took twenty more minutes until he got here. When he sat next to me I couldn't hide all the disgust I feel for him. "You've been letting a man over twenty years older than you fuck you. Do you know how repulsive that is?" I sneered at him and he looks devastated. Fuck. "I-" He tries to speak but I interject. "So tell me George, what's it like sleeping with your boss? Is that how you got the Mercedes promotion all those years ago? I didn't take you for such a whor-" Before I can finish my sentence I feel the sting of his hand slapping me across my face. "Don't you dare. You have you right to call me such things!" He yells as tears fall from his hypnotizing blue eyes. I feel a wave of regret washing over me but I don't stop myself from insulting him again.

"Don't I? Y'know I really do wonder, what would people think if they knew just how much of Toto's golden boy you are?" I say with so much animosity but it's not directed to George, not fully anyway. I see the panic in his eyes and he's fidgeting with his fingers which he only does when he's nervous. Good. "I swear to God Max, if you tell anyone I won't ever forgive you for it." He said, his voice trembling. I feel horrible for making him feel like that but he needs to realize that Torger Wolff isn't the man for it and if he's not going to realize it on his own, I'll have to show him. "What would your fathe-" He slaps me again.

"Don't you dare." He glares. Fuck, he looks so beautiful when he's furious. "Do whatever the fuck you want Max. I'm done." He says standing up and tuning to the door. I feel panic raising in my chest. I grab his hand and pulls him back towards me. "Schat..." I whisper. He tries to pull away but I hold him firmly in place. "Don't cry. You chose to be Toto's bitch so you don't get to play the victim now, baby." I say, pressing him against the wall while keeping my hands on his waist. I can't stand seeing tears in his eyes. I press a kiss on his cheek and then another one right under his eye.

"You're being cruel." George whimpered out as more tears spill from his eyes. "Stop." He says in a low, broken tone. I feel an immense amount of pain throbbing in my chest. My hips press against his and I bring my hands up to cup both sides of his face. I wipe his tears away with my thumbs. "It's the truth." I whisper and I feel him struggling against me. "Don't push me away baby. We both know you want me." I say while kissing his cheek.

I thought he was finding until I heard the broken sob escaping him. He pushes me away and for a moment I was stunned. "George-" I call to but he pushes past me, rushing towards the door. I know I'm in the wrong but I can't help it. I don't know why I'm like this. I watched him leave and I feel so pathetic. My head is aching and I feel beyond ridiculous for doing this to him. I know in my heart and in my mind that George didn't sleep his way to a promotion, I know he worked hard to earned his seat. I don't know why I said those horrible things to him. I sit down, my hands are on my head and I'm trying my absolute hardest not to cry, I have no right to. Not after all of those things I said. Not after calling George a whore and a bitch. He isn't and I know it. I'm so sick of myself for making him feel like that, for making him cry.

George deserved better than what I did to him tonight. I disrespected him and made him cry yet here I am, also crying as if I have any right to. I just wish my mind would stop, I wish I was different. I hate myself for making him cry. No wonder he's with Toto. Toto probably doesn't make him cry. I wish I could take back what I said but I can't. The damage is done and I did it. Again. George has been nothing but respectful, even when we fought he never once called me the names I called him and I never felt more ashamed in my life. No wonder he's been pulling away from me. I stumbled to my bed and forced myself to sleep just so I can stop my brain from screaming at me so loudly.

Chapter Text

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞:

I've been panicking ever since I left Max's. The thought of him telling the media about Toto and I makes me feel sick. I'm driving and I can hardly see the road due to the tears streaming down my face. I can't stop thinking about all those things he said. I don't want to go home. I don't want to go anywhere. I just wish I could disappear and be rid of this mess.

I don't comprehend where I'm going until I find myself in front of Toto's house. I feel stupid for coming here. I feel stupid for needing his comfort, for craving it. I manage to get out of my car and knock on his door, I know I look a mess right now. Tears won't stop falling from my eyes and I feel like I can't breathe. Toto opens the door. I don't meet his gaze. I don't deserve to look at him, I don't deserve his comfort and I certainly don't deserve the warm embrace that he's pulling me into.

I gently pull away from his arms, unable to look at him still. "George... Baby, what's going on?" He asked softly while cradling my face as though I'm something precious that he's trying to preserve. I don't answer him, I want to but I can't. My throat hurts when I breathe and I stand still outside his door properly looking as stupid as I feel.

Toto guides me inside and then closes the door. He leaves me on the couch and then returns with a glass of water and suddenly I get deja vu from when I found Max's list. I take a sip of the water and try to breathe. Toto's hands are on my cheeks brushing away my tears and I feel my heart breaking. God I'm such a idiot. I shouldn't have said anything to Max but I did and now Toto's life may be ruined because of it. "What happened?" He asked, making me look up at him.

"I'm so sorry." Is all I could say before the tears start again and I hate myself for it. I have no reason to be crying. I did this, all of it and now Toto has to comfort me for a mess I created. "Whatever it is, I promise you it'll be okay, you just need to tell me what happened so I can fix it." He says in a low, comforting tone that is so different from his team principal tone that many people are used to. "I- I told Max about us and he threatened to tell the media about us." I confess, unable to look at him. I expected him to yell or tell me to get out but I feel him pulling me into his strong arms.

"It's okay." He whispers, pressing kisses onto the side of my eyes. I shake my head. "It's not! I should have never-" I start but was cut off by him pressing a gentle kiss onto my lips, presumably to stop me from spiraling. "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it." He whispers again my lips and I feel my heart start racing faster. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "It's okay." He says, holding me in a way I wished Max would've. I bury my face in his chest. "What else did he say to you?" Toto asked while rubbing comforting circles on my back. "He called me a whore and said I'm your bitch and he wonders what my father would think if he knew. He also implied that I got promoted to Mercedes by sleeping with you." I close my eyes after saying that, trying to erase the memories of Max saying those things.

Toto says nothing more, his hands on me is all I need right now. I let myself cling to him in a way I never allowed myself to do with Max. I feel safe in Toto's arms and I hate myself for longing for Max. After everything he said, after his list, I hate myself for wanting a man who has no sense of respect for me. Maybe Max was right. I'm in Toto's arms yet I'm longing for him. I'm beyond pathetic at this point. I feel myself drifting to sleep in Toto's arms and all I can do is hope Max doesn't say anything.

Chapter Text

𝐌𝐚𝐱:

I woke up with a pounding headache this morning. I took a cold shower and had some coffee while trying to remember what happened last night. It took me a while before remembering that I called George and all the things I said to him after he came over. Fuck. I fucked up. I shouldn't have said those things but he shouldn't be sleeping with his boss so how wrong am I?

I keep thinking about George. I can't believe he'd rather be with a man twenty-six years older than him rather than with me, a four time world champion. It's inappropriate that he's letting his boss fuck him. It's wrong and it makes me feel fuck insane. I scroll through YouTube watching everything that has Toto and George together in it. They pretend so fucking well. They act profession on camera but off camera George spreads his legs for that old bastard.

I hate it. I hate knowing George goes to Toto. I hate knowing George let Toto mark him. I hate knowing George has been with Toto longer than he's been with me. I hate it. I hate Torger Wolff. I hate that I can't hate George. I scroll through YouTube for what felt like hours- which it has been, after checking the time and I've watched every video of George and Toto together. I saw the way George smiles at Toto. I saw the way Toto's filthy hand lingered on George's shoulder and I saw the way George leaned into it. Disgusting. How could Toto look at George, someone twenty-six years younger than him and not feel like a disgusting creep for touching him? How could Toto not feel like a thief after touching what belongs to me? That man makes me sick. He's a thief and a disgusting old man.

George and I were perfectly fine until Toto probably started spewing nonsense in his ear and manipulating and confusing George into wanting him. I know George claimed that he was seeing Toto before me but how true can that be? Maybe George was just trying to get a reaction out of me? George was mine before he could even realize it himself. Toto got into his head and turned him against me and I'll never forgive him for that, I'll never forgive him for touching what's mine. Toto Wolff needs to learn to keep his hands to himself and stop touching his much younger driver. He needs to learn that taking something that doesn't belong to him is wrong. George is mine. Not Alex's, not Pierre's, not Lewis's and certainly not that Austrian bastard's. Mine. George is just a bit confused now. Once I get him away from Toto everything will be fine again. He'll be mine and he won't want to be in Toto Wolff's bed again.

I was about to put down my phone but then I got a text.

"Max, there's much we need to talk about. Come by my place tonight. -Toto Wolff."

Bastard. That's what I thought after I read his name. He sends his address after and I typed back. "Yeah, we do." Before turning off my phone and leaning back against the couch. George may be a little bit confused right now but all of his confusion will disappear after I talk to Toto. George is going to be in my arms again and Toto Wolff will be away from George indefinitely.

Chapter Text

𝐌𝐚𝐱:

I have little to no expectations of a calm, reasonable conversation with Toto. I know there's things I'm going to say to him that he isn't going to like but I don't care. Toto is a sadistic bastard to think he has any right to summon me at his house to talk. I mean, I was definitely going to reach out to him but who the fuck is he to do it first? George probably told him about our little conversation so now Toto's going to try and play fixer by calling me over and he's going to act like he has grounds to speak to me about George when he truly doesn't.

The day went by fairly quick and before I knew it I'm out the door, going to Toto Wolff's house of all places. The driver there was fine, nothing special really. I knock on the door. He goes it. "Max, come in." He says in a tone so clam that it pisses me off. "Now, surely you must have an understanding of why I said we need to talk." He said, gesturing for me to sit but I don't, neither does he. "Yeah. I do, and I have to say, you're so fucked in the head. Sleeping with your employee who's twenty-six years younger than you? That's not very professional,Torger." I say wanting to get a reaction from him but he gives me nothing of that sort. "George and I know where we stand with each other but you clearly don't. It's clear you know nothing but act like you know everything and it's really pathetic for you." He says and I feel myself growing annoyed by how he said "George and I" as if there's a him and George.

"I know lots. I know that the media would absolutely love to know just how close you and George really are." I say. "And you would do that to George? Expose something he told you in private because you can't stand the thought of him being with a real man?" I feel my eye twitching at his obnoxious words. "George knows how much of a real man I am." I say trying to calm myself and not lose my temper. "Now, if that were the case Max, George wouldn't be crawling into my bed every night he's not with you." He says smugly. "You're manipulating him. He's twenty-six years younger than you and is your employee. Of course he'll give you what you want from him." I scoffed. "Manipulating him?" Toto laughs. "That's what you tell yourself? I wouldn't expect you to understand what George and I have because you possess the emotional intelligence of a five year old who feels entitled to a person and acts like said person is a toy that has been taken from you rather than seeing the plain truth." He says.

"What's the plain truth Toto? That you're sleeping with someone you've known since he was a minor? Or is that you're afraid once George comes to his sense he wouldn't want you anymore?" I replied back sharply. How dare he say that I act like George is a toy and not a person? "There's a part of George that will always need me. Regardless of who's he's with or what he thinks he wants, he'll always need me and he knows it but you don't." This old fucker really thinks George needs him? Who the hell does he think he is? "George is mine. Completely and he'll always be mine." I glare. Toto laughs, there is no humour in his laughter. "George was in my bed long before he even spared you a second glance. You're childish Max. You're emotionally unavailable and you're ego does half of your thinking. Why would George ever want you beyond sex?" I resist the urge to punch him.

"Stay away from George. It's what's best for him. You're a mess and I won't have you dragging him down with you." My eye twitched at his words. "I'm a mess?! I'm a mess, really?!? I'm not the fifty-three year old fucking my twenty-seven year old employee!" I sneered. "And I wasn't the calling him a whore and a bitch and telling him he only got promoted because he's in my bed." Toto snapped back. "He told you that?" I asked. "He tells me everything. I'm the one he comes to when he's hurt and you're the one that hurts him." I feel furious at his accusations that I always hurt George. Sure, I may say some things in the heat of the moment but I've never intentionally tried to hurt George.

"That's rich coming from you. I'm not the one fucking him but also refusing to give him a worthy contract." I tsked. "You don't know anything about our business so stay out of it." He replied back in an instant. "I know enough. I won't tell the press about you and George but in return I want something." I say. "What do you want?" He asked and I feel a faint smirk tugging at my lips. "To be teammates with George Russell." I say but Toto's response what immediate. "Absolutely not. We're not getting rid of Kimi." He says. "I never said you have to. You could just, not sign George back for next year and I'll handle the rest." I replied but Toto laughed. "George would rather not drive at all than drive for any other team, let alone Red Bull. He bleeds sliver. We both know it." His words enraged me. I mean it's true but I don't care.

"I'm not getting rid of my senior driver. Tell the media whatever you want Max but try not to let your jealousy show too much, we wouldn't want Jos to know what his son feels for George Russell right?" My mind goes blank at his words. He had no right going there. My fist clenched up into balls and I almost swing but I don't. No. That would just prove his point about me being emotionally immature or whatever the fuck he said. "George is mine." I say but it's almost to myself this time, it's like I'm reminding myself that he's still mine, that he's still within my reach. "You don't care about him Max. If you did, you would have never treated him the way you did." Toto says.

"What happens between George and I is our concern, not yours. George knows what he is to me." I say, not believing the last part but hoping Toto does. "Whatever you say Max." He said before saying, "You can go now." And I don't think twice before heading to the door.

When I'm in my car all I can think about is George. I need to talk to him, I know I should call or text but I don't. I drive to his house, hoping he's awake. When I get there at first I sit in the car are a few minutes before I get out and knock on the door. It takes several moments before he opens the door. I smile when I see him, I can't help it. He's so beautiful. "Max?" He says. "Hello, schat." I say, almost breathless by the mere sight of him.

"Max, it's late..." He says. "I know. I just.. needed to see you." I say, wondering if he's going to invite me in soon. "Why? So you can tell me how much of a whore I am?" I deserved that but still it hurts. It only hurts because I know it hurts him. "I'm sorry about that... I'm sorry about all of it George... I just- the thought of you with him made me sick and I know it's not an excuse but I am sorry..." I apologize, ashamed it was needed in the first place.

"Thank you for apologising but I think you should leave." He whispers. "Why?" I asked, taking his hands in mines but he pulls away and I feel my heart stopping at the rejection. "Max just-" I cut him off. "Is it because you'll go to him when I leave? Or is he coming over here? Is that why you want me gone?!" I yell, causing him to flinch slightly and I feel fucking horrible. I genuinely don't know why I'm like this. "No Max. I want you gone because I can't stand to look at you!" He snaps, yelling back at him. "Why? Why can't you look at me?" I demanded to know. I just need to hear him say it has nothing to do with him and Toto, I need to hear that Toto isn't involved in this, that it's just purely physical with them. I need to hear him say he wants more than just sex between us. I need to hear him say he wants me, all of me but when I look at him I see tears in his beautiful eyes. I reach to wipe them away but he turns his face away. "Don't." He muttered.

"... Just... Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me what is it you need from me and I'll give it to you." I say in a low whisper. He scoffs. "What I want?! What I need from you?! What I want is for you to not call me names whenever we argue, what I want is for you to stop acting like I'm a thing to own and what I need is for you to not make a list of all the reasons you wouldn't date me!" He yells, tears streaming down his pretty face and I hate myself for every tear that falls from his eyes.

"George I-" He cuts me off. "I didn't even show you all of me but it was too much for you and, that's fine Max. It really is but you had to make a list of all the things I already hate about myself just so you can't what? Justify wanting to fuck me without getting emotional involved with me? I get that you still love Charles, I get that I was just the rebound, if even that but all you had to do was just tell me that! Do you know how incredibly stupid I felt reading that list after all the time we spent together?" George sighs, wiping his tears away and my heart is aching so much. I don't love Charles. I don't want George to feel stupid, he isn't. I don't want him to hate any parts of himself because he's so fucking perfect. I hate myself for making him feel like this.

I can hardly breathe but I manage to speak. "I don't love him, George, I love you-" I say, not realising I'm crying until I feel the tears in my face after I told him I love him. "You don't even know me!" He yells. "I know everything about you and I love y-" He cuts me off again. "You don't! It's okay Max, truly it's fine! You don't love me, hell you don't even like me and its okay." He says and I feel sick. I do love him. I really do. "I'm sorry about the list! I didn't mean it, I- I don't think those things of you! I swear I don't!" I apologize, tears streaming down my face. I can't breathe, all I want is to hold him, to tell him how much I love him, how much I regret hurting him.

"Baby please... Please believe me!" I beg desperately but it doesn't reach him. "Max just... Go home..." He sighs, tears in his eyes still. I am horrible. How could I do this? Why did I do that? I want George so much that it hurts. I need him so much that it's hard to breathe when he isn't near me. "Please..." I whisper but he just closes the door. I feel myself falling to my knees. I'm sobbing at his doorstep and can't bring myself to care about how ridiculous I look right. All I can feel is every time I hurt him, all I can hear is George saying it's okay that I don't love him but I do. All I can hear is him saying the things on that list is all of the things he hates about himself. That pierces right through my heart. He hates things about himself, someone so beautiful and perfect hates times about himself and worst of all I made him believe I hate those things about him too.

I don't know how long I stayed there on my knees, I got up after I stopped crying. I hate myself for making him feel like that. He felt stupid and hates parts of himself and I'm the reason why. I feel sick and numb all at once. I made the only person who ever made me feel like I'm worth something cry. I made him cry, I called him names, accused him of fucking his way to a promotion, I had a list about all his "flaws" and I hate myself for it. I don't remember driving home but here I am, taking the key out and opening the car door. I head inside and for once I let my mind go wild. I'm a horrible person. I hurt the one I love.

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I've felt stupid ever since Max tried to say he loves me. I think things between us are officially over now. I don't know why Max would so cruel and try to claim that he loves me. I've come to terms with the fact that he loves Charles. Why else would he make that list? Why else would he hate the things about me everyone usually hates as well? Maybe Max feels badly after seeing me cry, which I hated doing in front of him. Max probably just felt pity for me.

His pity is what makes my heart aches worse, I think I could've coped alot better if he was just cruel but he felt the need to pretend to love me because I cried and acted ridiculously in front of him. I shouldn't have even mentioned the letter. I hate myself for loving him but I can't stop. I tried to bury my feelings for him, I thought it would have been easier. Every time he called me a disrespectful name, every time he said it's just physical, I loved him even in those times. God, how stupid am I?

I'm in love with a man who loves his ex. I feel so disappointed with myself. I'm in love with a man who treated me like a object rather than a person and I'm also sleeping with my boss who's my father's age. My life is a mess and it's all my fault. I don't want Max to feel bad for not loving me back, it's really not his fault but I just wished he wasn't cruel.

I don't even think he realises it but he is and I don't think he cares enough to be better, at least with me anyway. I've never been in love before. I always thought falling in love would be simple, I guess I never thought about the longer who spend with someone the more they'll start seeing your flaws, the more they'll see why they shouldn't be with you. I never thought about it until now. It makes perfect sense why Max can't love me. We spent months together, practically inseparable. In those months Max found things about me that he can't deal with. I can't blame for that. It was bound to happen.

I never found the flaws in him that he found in me, everything about him I was just so endeared by it all. The way he is with his team and the rookies, the way his head tilts back slightly when he laughs, and God, his smile. His smile and the way his eyes lights up when he talks about the things he's passionate about makes my heart swell with joy for him. To know the things that makes him happy is enough for me.

Max may not love me but that's okay. I'll eventually get over it, I'll eventually be able to be happy that Charles gets Max's love, I'll eventually not hate myself for wishing it was me. Max deserves to be happy, even if- no, especially if it's not with me. Him and Charles deserve to be happy together. One day I'll stop hating myself for being sick at the thought of them together.

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I've been in bed ever since I dragged myself out of the car last night. I feel fucking sick. Like actually, I would have probably thrown up by thanks to my empty stomach I haven't. The way George looked, sounded and flinched ever so slightly when my voice raised, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't believe I made that fucking list. I can't believe George hates pieces of himself. I can't believe he doesn't believe I love or know him.

I know everything about George William Russell. I know he's the youngest of his family and they were always a bit chaotic which is why he likes everything organised, I know he fidles with his fingers when he's nervous, I know he's very specific when it comes to his coffee order, it's a cappuccino, I know he likes it when hold him after a long race, I know everything about him yet I didn't know I was hurting him- I didn't know I was destroying him, making him think he's flawed.

He's so perfect it hurts. My entire body aches, I feel nauseous and all I can see when I close my eyes is George. George crying because of the things I've done. I don't think he's a possession, I acted like he was so obviously he thought that's all I saw him for but it's wasn't, it's not. I love George. I never wanted to admit, I never wanted to admit I feel such things my father would regard as weaknesses but I feel it, maybe too much and I want to be okay with that. I want to be, really.

I want to be the man who makes George smile, I want to be the reason he's happy. I want for him to know how incredibly loved he is, I don't ever want him to question his intelligence but I've only ever made him feel the exact opposite. I want to be able to hold his hand and kiss him without caring what anyone else would think. I want that so much but it's terrifying to think about, I've never been comfortable with doing that with anyone, my father always told me to keep my disgusting lifestyle hidden in private but I can't do it anymore. I love George Russell. I need George to know that, I need to show him how much I love him.

I don't love Charles, not in a romantic way at least. It's never been him for me and I never been it for it. It's why I wrote that on the list. I didn't want to love George in a romantic way, I didn't want to love him at all but I do. I don't deserve him and I'm disgusted with myself because of how I treated him but I know how much I love him and I want him to know it as well. I need him to know how loved is, how my heart beats solely for him. I caused him so much pain and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to him, once he knows how much I love and adore him is all I need. I can't stand to remember the image of the man I love, crying saying that it's okay that I don't love him. I made him feel unloved.

My hands are shaking, I want George in my arms, I want him to know how perfect he is, how sorry I am and how I've always loved him and always will.

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I was surprised to see Max at my door, it hadn't even been two proper days since our.... Tense conversation and he's already back. I wordlessly let him in, not in the mood to have a screaming match at my door again. We sit and there's a silence before he spoke. "I am sorry, George. I'm sorry about the list, about all of the things I said you and for treating you like you're an object." He says and I feel my chest tightening.

"It's okay, Max." I say with a steady voice. "No, it's not. I should have never treated you like that, no one should ever treat the person they're in love with like that." He says, shifting closer to me but I just can't. I stand, turning away from him. "Don't say things like that." I sighed out. "Why not? It's the truth." He said as if that's obvious. "No, it's not." I say, turning back to look at him.

"How would you know?" He scoffed. "Because I know you! You don't love me Max. You are in love just, not with me." I exclaimed and throws his head back with an annoyed sigh before standing and walking over to me. "No. No, you don't get to tell me what I do or don't feel for you. You don't get to say I love someone I don't in place of you." He replied back and I feel my heart breaking all over again. Why is he doing this to me? We both know it's Charles he wants so why is he here saying it's me he loves? What did I do to deserve this?

"I didn't say it Max. You did." I reminded him. I'm not Charles. I'm not what he wants. I'm not who he loves and I thought I could be okay with that but here he is, claiming to love me but we both know it's the furthest thing from the truth. Why is Max Verstappen breaking my heart all over again? "George, tha- that wasn't what it seemed like. I swear it wasn't. He made me feel nothing and you do! You make me feel things I believed wasn't possible and I wasn't ready for that then but I am now. I swear I am." He says desperately and I feel like someone's stabbing me in the heart over and over again. Max apologized for the list and I forgave him for it but he thought of those things as reasons to not date me and I don't know if I could ever trust him to show him any part of myself after that.

"Max... I-" He cuts me off. "I love you." He says cupping my face in his hands. "I love you so much and I want to be with you." He says it so sweetly as if this was some grand love confessions between two repressed lovers. "I don't believe you." I whisper but not finding the strength to pull away from his hands. Unshed tears glistens in his beautiful eyes. "Then let me prove it to you. Please... Let me show you how much I love you." He says, pressing his forehead against mine and I feel a sense of dread washing over me. "Sex isn't wh-" He cuts me off. "I don't mean sex, just... Give you time to show you how much I love you, his much I worship you." He whispered again. "I don't want to be worshiped-" I says and his response was immediate. "That's too bad, you are." He pressed a kiss onto my cheek. "You may not trust me right now but I'll make it up to you, I promise." He says and I feel horrible.

I don't want him to feel obligated to make it up to me. He owes me nothing because we were nothing. "We were nothing, Max. Why are you doing all of this?" I asked, not bothering to hide how tired I am. "You don't believe that, you can't believe we were nothing because we were something, I know that because I was also there in the relationship, George." He says sharply. "It wasn't a relationship." I remind him and he sighs, removing his hands from me. Good. I ignore the pang in my chest when he turns away from me with another tired sigh. "Will you not let yourself be loved? Why is it always this difficult?" He asked sharply but there no real edge in his tone. I don't say anything. I can't. He's right. I make things difficult, I'm hard to love, Max deserves someone who he feels free, he deserves someone who isn't so frustrating. "You should leave." I say quietly and he does.

After Max leaves I feel tears in my eyes and I feel frustrated with myself I have no reason at all to cry yet here I am again! I told Max to leave, I told him I don't believe him when he said he loves me and now I'm alone again. I hate myself for wishing he would have argued when I told him to leave, I hate myself for wishing he would have fought with me. He's right. It's always difficult with me and I make it so. I can't stand myself, my mind, I'm genuinely so sick of myself and Max finally is done with me and I hate myself for crying right now because I pushed him away. I'm worthless and he finally saw it. I wouldn't fight for me either. He did the right thing but walking away.

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I should have never showed up to George's place uninvited. I practically ambushed him and he looked like he was about to cry if I didn't leave. I mentally kick myself for doing that to him, I should've called. When I got back to my place I just kind of threw myself on the couch and started to think about ways I can make it up to George.

"Mate, do you want a sandwich? I just made the best one ever, not even exaggerating." Daniel said before taking a seat next to me. "No I'm good-" I cut off my own words and my head spins so quickly in his direction. "Daniel how the fuck are you in my house?" I asked in confusion. "So... You've got a front door... I got feet m. I walked in using my feet." He said slowly as if he's talking to a child and I can't even pretend to glare I just burst out laughing but that didn't last long. I started to think again.

"Why are you so quiet?" Daniel frowned. "I'm thinking." I say. He raises a brow. I throw a pillow at his head. He laughs. "Alright, alright, you do genuinely look deep in thought so what are you thinking about?" He asked. "George." I replied. "And Alex?" He asked. Oh right. I didn't fill Daniel in on everything that happened. "Am... It wasn't Alex." I say with a sigh, remembering Torger Wolff. Daniel raises a brow.

"It's not Alex? Who then?" He asked and I take a deep breath. "Torger Wolff." His eyes go wide. "WHAT THE FUCK? TOTO? HIS BOSS?" He yells in shock. I nod. "Oh my god. What- how- when-" He stammers. "Wolff even had the audacity to summon me to his house to tell me to stop seeing George." I scoffed. "Oh so, he did to you what you did to poor Alex?" Daniel points out. "I kinda freaked out on George afterwards. Well, I got drunk and freaked out on him." I say, feeling the shame from that night consuming me again.

"What did you do?" He asked. "I called me a whore, a bitch, told him it makes sense that he was promoted to Mercedes because he's sleeping with the boss and I kinda threatened to tell the media about him and Wolff." I said it all in one mouthful of words, not wanting to dwell too much on it. "Max Emilian Verstappen!" Daniel yelled, tapping me across the head. "Did you apologize for those awful things you said?" He asked in a tone he never used with me before. "Yeah but... There's alot more I'm still making up for." I say looking away from Daniel. He sighs.

"Go on." He says, waiting for me to give context. "When I was now falling for George or rather when I was now aware I was falling for George, I made a list of reasons not to date him... The last one was that he's not Charles. George saw the list." I explain and Daniel's face falls again. "Max!" He yells in a scolding tone. "I know." I sigh. "Do you?" He questioned. "What if he had made a list? What if he had a whole bunch of reasons why he's not dating you and the last one is that you're not Toto Wolff? How would that feel Max?" He asked firmly. I glare at that man's name. I scoff, shaking my head. "Not good." I say. "Exactly! So why the hell would you do that?" I have no response.

"I was at his place today... He doesn't trust me. I don't blame him but it's frustrating! I told him I loved him and he said he doesn't believe that! He forgave me for the list but won't let tell him I love him! It's frustrating!" I exclaimed. "Yeah well imagine how it is for him. First you and him start hooking up right? You spend amazing months together but you've been saying it's only physical right? Then he finds your lovely little list and obviously is upset by it. What does he do? Exactly what you've been saying. You said it's only physical so he went to get some hot sex from his hot boss to forget about all of the horrible things you wrote about him right? Oh but then you started acting all possessive and he gets all confused by these mixed signals, then you call him a bitch, a whore, basically said he's talentless at his job and now you're claiming to love him. Isn't that crazy to you?" Daniel explained and asked.

"I didn't say he was talentless." I mumbled. "You told him he only got promoted because he's sleeping with Toto." Daniel shots back and I scoff at that man's name. You really thinks he's hot?" I asked in disgust. "I mean, he's conventionally attractive and well, George seems to think so." He says and I glare. "Look, what we should be focusing on is getting George to forgive you. I think George is more big on words and feelings rather than gestures and gifts. You need to stop all this childish shit and tell George exactly what you feel for him, how long you've felt it for and how miserable you are without him because you look a mess right now, mate." Daniel says and it makes sense. George does value words over action whereas I am the complete opposite.

I'm not good with words but I will be, I have to. Daniel is right. I'm a grown man, I can handle talking about my feelings especially when those feelings are of love and is for the person I love. George may not believe it now but he will soon enough.

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It's been a week since I spoke to Max, I've been trying my best to move on and get over him but it doesn't matter how much I try, I can't stop thinking about him and I hate myself for it. I don't know why I feel so much when he does not. We spent the same months together, the things we did to each other in our hotel rooms were things we did together, so why do I feel so much about him? Why doesn't he feel it for me? Why did he try lying and saying that he loves me?

Obviously I know why he doesn't feel the same way but still it hurts. It hurts knowing he's not over Charles, it hurts knowing he was just using me to get over Charles and what hurts the most is that I acted so pathetic that he felt the need to lie. Nothing makes me forget the way he used to kiss me, the way he used to touch me... I've felt things for Max that I haven't felt for anyone else ever. Not even Toto, not that Toto and I are emotionally involved- it's just, he's been the only constant in my life. He never left and I don't know what I would do if he did because I admire and respect him the most. I think very highly of him and I care about what he thinks of me which is why I'm desperate to forget Max. What would Toto think of he knew I wanted someone who doesn't want it respect me? Would he finally realise I'm as pathetic as I know I am? Would he finally left? Kick me out of Mercedes?

I feel my hands shaking and my heart racing. A cold sweat trickles down my forehead and I crouch down trying to calm myself down but it's not working! Nothing's working! My hands won't stop shaking and I feel unbearably nauseous. I didn't even realise I'm crying, it's only until my vision blurs with tears is when I realise. My mind is screaming at my body to stop, I'm cold, I try throwing up but I can't. I can hardly move and I don't know know why. Why is this happening?

I stayed on the floor for what felt like hours, and after checking the time and seeing that it's 3:45 PM, confirms that i was in fact on the floor for hours. I feel irritated at myself. I'm so stupid. I grab my towel and go to the bathroom to shower. I spent a through 45 minutes scrubbing my skin until it's red and I'm bruised but I don't care. I'm just so angry at myself right now. I have no right to have bloody panick attacks yet there I was on the floor, sobbing like something's wrong. I'm drying my hair when I hear the doorbell ring. I placed the towel down and go to the door. I open it.

"Toto..." I say in suprise, I wasn't expecting to see him too but I'm not upset about it. I stare up at him for a few minutes before he speaks.

"Can I come in?" He asked and I feel a wave of embarrassment wash over me.

"Uh- yes of course-" I said, stumbling over my words a bit before moving aside for him to come it. I close the door and follow him into my living room.

"... So... What's up?" I asked awkwardly which is weird because it's never like this with Toto. "I wanted to see you." He said in that thick Austrian accent that makes me feel things I absolutely shouldn't. "You did?" I whisper and before I know it his index and thumb fingers are on my chin, tilting my head up to make me look up at him. I feel my face turning red. "I-" He cuts my words off with a soft kiss.

After a few minutes he pulls away and I feel my knees growing weak, my face is flushed and I hold onto him for support. I reach up trying to kiss him again but he doesn't let me.

"What happened to your hands?" He asked, brows furrowed, taking ahold of both of my hands. "What?" I asked in confusion and he holds my hands up just for a moment so I can see the redness. "Oh- that's nothing really-" I say a bit embarrassed, pulling my hands away from him but his grip just tightens. "Nothing? You're hurting yourself but it's nothing?" His tone raises and I feel my heart sinking. "No! No- I wasn't- I didn't hurt myself! I was just-" He cuts me off. "Do you think I'm stupid George?" He asked and before I can say no he's speaking. "Or worse, do you think I don't know you? Your mind? How you think just because you're not cutting yourself that it doesn't count? Because it really doesn't for you does it? You think once the scars aren't permanent it doesn't matter but it does." He says firmly and I feel my throat closing up. I can't speak. My eyes are filled with tears.

I try desperately to pull away from him but he doesn't let me. He pulls me into his strong arms and keeps me there in his embrace and I feel when the sob leaves my throat and the tears leave my eyes. I cling to him, burying my face in his chest and just sobbing. Toto strokes my hair and whispers praises and words of encouragement in my ear. I feel myself falling asleep in his arms and I don't fight it, I allow myself be held in his arms, just or tonight at least.

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I spent all night hyping myself up to go see George today, I feel nervous and I'm hoping he doesn't turn me away. I take a deep breath before I get out of my car and knock on his door. After a few minutes he doesn't open the door so I knock again, louder this time. The door opens.

"George, I-" I cut myself off. My smile fades. George didn't open the door. Torger Wolff does. I feel my eye twitching. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I growled, not bothering to hide my anger and disdain towards him.

"I could ask you the same thing, Max." He said and it just pisses me off even more. "Where's George?" I asked, glaring daggers at him. "George is still in bed. He had a long night." The fuck? What the fuck did he just say to me? "You sick bastard!" I yell. George has every right to be upset with me but this is too far. He knows I hate that he has been with another man yet he's continuing to see Toto. I hate that there was another man but that was me. I was the other man because he's been seeing Toto longer than he has been with me.

"You should leave, Max. George wouldn't want to see you, especially not as soon as he wakes up." The arrogant fucker says. My hands ball into fists at my side and my jaw clenches. "Yeah well I think he should decide that." I manage to say despite my obvious anger. "He has, Max. You're just too stubborn to see it. He doesn't need you, not like how he needs me." He says and I scoff at the arrogance. "George doesn't need you." I tell him firmly. "Well, he says otherwise." Bastard. Toto Wolff is a fucking bastard and I hate him.

"He's clearly confused then. He doesn't need a old, temperamental bitch like you." I sneer but Toto laughs. The audacity of this senile fucker to laugh. "The irony of Max Verstappen talking about someone's temper is hilarious." The Austrian says and right as I was about to insult him again I hear the sweet voice that I so long for.

"Who's at the door?" He asked Toto, the sleepiness of his voice is transparent and I feel the need to grab him and keep him in my arms forever.

"George." I call to as I can't see him because he's standing directly behind Toto. There's silence for a few moments.

"Tell him to leave." I hear he tells Toto and Im pissed off again. "Tell me yourself!" I yell. He's being difficult right now. I hate when he acts like this.

"You need to leave." He says, appearing next to Toto. He looks beautiful, his hair is messy from now getting out of his, his big, bright blue eyes are a bit and his full, pink lips from a pout and I feel an overwhelming need to grab him and kiss him until we're both breathless. "You look beautiful-" I hear myself say before I can stop myself. Fuck. I probably look desperate now. He scowls. Fuck he's beautiful.

"Max, leave." George says. I start to panic a bit but I don't let it show. "Why? Are you that much of a coward that you're running from a simple conversation with me?" I say, knowing it's going to anger him. That's the gold. I'll get him so angry that he can't possibly refuse to not have a conversation with me.

His eyes darken at my words. Good. "Well?" I say in a fauxed innocence. "Can I come in? Will we talk now? When is Toto leaving? I don't like him here and I don't want him here for our little one on one." I say.

"No. Absolutely not. You're not coming in, we will not speak now and Toto isn't leaving!" He yells. He's adorable when he's angry but the part about Toto not leaving annoys me. "But why?" I asked and he just sighs as if this conversation is exhausting or something. "It's too early for this." I hear him mumble." "Fine, we'll talk tonight then, at my place and obviously if you don't come to me I'll come to you." I say with a smile. He shuts the door without another word.

That was a good conversation with George. The only bad part was the old bastard. He ruined my day but at least I saw George but I still need to get him away from Torger and I think after tonight he wouldn't what that old man anymore.

Chapter Text

𝐌𝐚𝐱:

I spent all day decorating my house with candles and rose petals for George. I can't wait for him to come over. He'll love it. He'll love me. Once in done placing the candles on the floor and kitchen table and two on my nightstand I go shower. After I showered I lit all of the candles, there are rose petals on my bed and all over the floor. This is going to be hell to clean but it's going to win me back George, I'm certain of it.

It's 8:05 and he isn't here yet. I try not to panic yet because it's still early. I'm hopefully George will come. Suddenly 8:05 turns into 8:45 and then 9:00 PM. I feel my heart breaking a bit. I know he never said he'd come but still, I wished he would've came so he could see how sorry I am and how much he means to me. He's my heart and these few weeks without him has been hell. I need him back. I feel tears glistening in my eyes and I rough wipe them away. I grab my keys and head to the door.

As my hand held the door knob, there's a knock on the door. I open it immediately and there he is. My beautiful boy. He looks perfect. He's wearing a white shirt with matching linen trousers, he looks like an angel. My heart races and for a second I think it's about to burst out of my chest.

"Schat." I breathed out, relieved that he came. "Come in." I say, taking his hand in mine and bringing him inside. He looks around at the candles and rose petals. I feel nervous for a second but I don't allow myself to dwell on the nerves, not when the most beautiful person in the world is standing in front of me, not when he's so close that I can touch him, hold him in my arms and kiss his prefect lips. "Do you like it?" I asked.

"Max... You-" He stops himself with a sigh. "You shouldn't have done all of this." He says. "Why not?" I asked, knowing he's right, knowing that we should at least talk about our problems instead of trying to fix it with sex. George is quiet for a moment. "... I just need you to see how much I care about you, how much I love you." I say in a whisper. He turns away from me.

"Why do you do this? Why do you say things you don't mean? You don't love me Max, you've made that clear." I feel irritated and helpless at his words. I made a mistake, a stupid one and I've apologized for it so why can't he just forgive me already? "It's not fair that you're still punishing me for a mistake I made. I wasn't trying you hurt you intentionally I was just confused and yes, I should've communicated better but I didn't and I'm sorry so can we just please move on?!" I say, frustrated.

"Are you serious right now?" George asked. "How can I move on with you after that? Do you truly expect me to just forgive you and let it go even though you're still in love with Charles?" I feel a wave of annoyance and anger wash over me. I told him I'm not in love with Charles and he still doesn't believe me!

"Stop! Stop, I'm not in love with him, I love you, I only love you and I made a mistake, a stupid one but can you please stop punishing me for it and at least try to get over it? And sleeping with Toto? That has to stop because just like how you didn't like the list, I don't like him touching you." I say. I know the list and him being with Toto are completely different but I don't care.

"You can't just-" I cut him off. "Why not? I love you, George. I want you. I don't want anyone else despite what I did but can you say the same? You're this upset about the list but how long did it take you to jump back in Toto's bed like the whore he made you in-" He slaps me across the face. His beautiful eyes burn with anger. Fuck he's beautiful.

I take ahold of his wrist and pull him closer to me. "I want you." I whisper in his ear as my free hand finds his waist. "Go to hell." He hisses. "No, I'd rather stay here with you." I replied back, kissing alongside his jaw. He's so beautiful when he's furious at me. I mean, he's beautiful all the time but now especially, he's trying his hardest to stay angry at me, to not give in to me but it's not working. He wants me and I know, he knows I know it. He wants me and I'm more than happy to give him what he wants.