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Chapter Text

Damian had snuck in through a hatch in the roof. The wide room was tidy and modern, sunlight bathing the space from large windows leading out to Gotham’s Robinson Park. The light hit the room the same way it did Park’s, but that was the only thing they had in common. Alex had been there for over an hour, going back and forth between training with weights too heavy for someone her size, and doing Taekwondo kicks and drills on a punching bag. She landed a particularly heavy kick that made the bag detach from its hook. Alex ran up to it and held the bag up, slowly reattatching it and decided it was probably time for a break. She walked up to her gym bag, a pile of clothes and a big folder with a handle resting on a bench, and took a sip of water from her water bottle. Her skin was dotted with sweat, the red veins accentuated by the warm light bathing the room and the flush she got from her workout.

There was no one else at the gym at that hour, there couldn’t be. Alex had to be careful with how she acted around her new classmates and fellow Gotham University students. It was bad enough that she couldn’t do much to keep her skin hidden, the eyes being the only thing she could cover with contact lenses. She did her best to hide her strength from others, working out at odd times of the day and night.

Her form was as good as ever, Damian thought. She hadn’t stopped training of course, she never would. She still taught at Park’s but she never stayed there more than she needed to, preferring to do her own workouts at the university gym.

“Now why on earth are you training this hard to just go and sit in classes and make dioramas all through the night?” – Damian finally asked, dropping down from a beam close to the ceiling and landing silently beside her.

“ Gook-gee…” – She said sitting down on the bench and leaning back catching her breath.

“Come on there was nothing about that kick that screamed self-control to me. When was the last time you put the suit on?” – He asked sitting down next to her.

“When was the last time you put your suit on?” – She retorted laughing.

“That’s irrelevant, I still go out and work… I just wear something else these days…”

“Yeah yeah… What is it that you wear again? Not Robin, not an Assassin…”

“I just… I’m working on it.” – Damian was upset, he’d been struggling to figure out who it was he wanted to be. He knew he didn’t want to be Robin for sure though, and over the last few months he’d fashioned himself a new non-descript outfit he’d wear when providing support to Batman or Red Hood.

Batman had minded, but he knew better than to start a fight over it. He knew Damian had to figure it out by himself, he just wished he hadn’t been so dismissive of the mantle. He’d also wished his new suit didn’t resemble assassin’s clothes as much as it did. 

“What are you doing here Damian?” – Alex finally asked, starting to get ready to leave.

“Jason’s busy… Jon is saving the world…”

“Ah I see! Your real friends are all busy so you come to me as your last resort?” – She mocked.

“Precisely. Can we get dinner together?” – His question surprised Alex, they had hung out in the past and had started hanging out more and more since Jason had come back to Gotham. It still surprised her that Damian was in fact seeking her out for company like that, one on one outside the tatami.

“Sure. Wanna go to that iranian place on the corner of my dorm?”

“Yes please, some real food for once.” 

-

Red Hood had been arguing with one of the owners of a club on East Park Avenue for what felt like an eternity now and it seemed to be going nowhere. The sun was setting on the side street and men carried big kegs in and out of the club.

“Come on, I know you had a deal with Gotham Girl.” – Jason said towering over the short man.

“Well fuck me you’re not Gotham Girl are you?” – The short fat man retorted lighting a cigarette. Jason was jealous, he wished he could have one right now.

“No… But trust me I’m the next best thing” – He winked, forgetting the man couldn’t see his eyes through his eye mask. Damian had gotten him one from the batcave, he’d also helped him fashion another face covering. It wasn’t as good as the previous one he’d had but it would do for now.

“Shit Hood, listen… GG and I had a deal but she didn’t go around chopping off people’s heads ok? I don’t want no trouble, making a deal with you might get me into trouble and I don’t do trouble like that.”

“No no, but see that’s the thing… I’m with her! I’m not cutting no one’s heads off ok, we keeping it pg Batman style I promise… Jade asked me man come on, I just need a little in. I could be threatening you right now you know?” – He stepped in a little closer. – “I could be shoving you against that wall there and making you tell me all you know. But I’m not am I?” – The man shook his head, despite feeling very threatened by Red Hood’s proximity.

“Hum… Yeah, I guess I could give you a little something if you just back off from my club!” – The man finally said, taking a step back. Jason took a step further, leaning against the wall with his arm over his head, towering over the short man.

“Now that’s the spirit chum, tell me what you got on the Penguin.” – He said smiling under his mask.

-

Alex was standing outside Wayne Manor tying up her shoelaces and leaning against her motorcycle when she was surprised by Batman. He’d appeared out of thin air it seemed, a shadow himself emerging from the shadows. It was late and dark, the manor mostly dark safe for a few lit up windows.

“Fucking hell you trying to give me heart attack or something?” – She exclaimed getting up on her feet and resting her helmet on the seat of the bike.

“Thank you for bringing him home.” – Batman said, ignoring her complaints.

“Yeah of course, he’s been fed too so no need to worry about that.”

“Is the leak on the roof fixed? I’ve been away a few days I haven’t checked in with anyone.” – Bruce was now speaking, and Alex eased up a little.

“Yeah… Yeah it’s fixed, the new floors are great too… I have no idea how you find contractors that work that fast but yeah… It’s… Thank you, I still don’t really get why you’re doing this but I appreciate it.” – She leaned against the bike folding her arms, she was wearing a thin sweater, the weather was starting to cool down in Gotham.

“You don’t have to thank me. I first took an interest in Park’s many years ago. I wanted to help him, invest, donate… He… Refused me… I am happy to be able to do it now.” – He spoke carefully, speaking about Park was difficult. 

He remembered the day he’d shown up at the Demko residence to discuss Alex’s ownership of Park’s; Park had left everything he had to Alex and she’d had mixed feelings about it. It had saddened her that he’d had no one else to pass everything he’d ever accomplished to, but it had also made her happy to know she had mattered this much to him. She’d known of course, but still.

“... Thanks anyways… Is uhm… Is Tim around?” – She asked shyly. 

“No. He’s with the Teen Titans. He hasn’t been in Gotham much lately.”

“Ugh.. Ok… I’m uh… Imma be heading out now, got classes tomorrow morning pretty early.” – Alex turned around and was getting on her bike when Batman interrupted her with a disarming question

“How’s that going?” – The question surprised her, she still wasn’t too sure how to act around him, and she sure as hell didn’t expect Batman to ask her how school was going.

“It’s… Fine? It’s a lot harder than I expected not gonna lie… The exams are okay, it’s the uhm… All the drawing, the planning, the models… My dorm always smells like hot glue gun these days and I’m probably 90% coffee and 10 % blood…”

“Do you like it?” – He asked, a bit of a smile creeping up on his lips.

“You know what… I do… Feels kinda silly that I avoided going to school for so long now… I feel like, like I’m doing something cool…” – She said half surprising herself with the answer.

“Good.” – Batman responded.

Alex nodded and accidentally dropped the helmet off her bike seat. By the time she’d picked it back up and turned back around, the Batman was gone and she was alone.

“Well good night to you too, bat.”

-

Jason considered how to make his entrance, he had enough information now to know who was providing the Penguin security these days and he knew they were no threat no him. He could sneak in, but where was the fun in that? He decided it would be best to break in, glass smashing, guns firing. Which is exactly what he did.

Red Hood broke into one of Penguin’s new offices, the last one having been blown up by Tim a few months back. He’d relocated and taken control of the old Gotham Natural History Museum and was enjoying a cigar in his roomy new office in the Antarctic wing. Jason smashed through the sun roof effortlessly, immobilising and knocking out the six security men in the room using a mix of fighting styles. He also used the environment well, having learned from Talia how to instantly map out a room and use its furniture and objects to his advantage. He took out the last of the gunmen with an ashtray, hitting the man a little too hard.

“Red Hood!” – Penguin exclaimed from his chair. – “How dare you? This is my favourite office by far!” – Jason walked up to him holding a gun, pointing it at Penguin.

“Cobblepot!” – He mocked Penguin’s tone of voice, his stuffy accent and nasal tone. – “Don’t care. Hands up.” 

“Have you come to kill me now? Have you come to add my head to your collection?” 

“Fuck me… Ya’ll really hung up on the heads huh... No Cobblepot, I don’t want your lumpy, ugly ass head… Not now anyways… I thought you and I were due a little chat.” – Jason sat down across from the desk from Penguin.

“You could’ve scheduled a meeting.” – The penguin growled.

“Now where’s the fun in that?” – Said a smiling Jason, resting comfortably against the soft red velvet of the gaudy chair.

-

Jason kept up his streak of dropping down from the roof, no glass smashing this time. Alex had used this hatch so many times before, this was the one she’d tried to fall into after the explosion but had missed and fallen through the glass instead. He dropped seamlessly and heard the shower running and was surprised, scanning the room for evidence of who it might be. He didn’t expect anyone to be there but it was hard to know these days, both Alex and Damian would show up unexpected. Alex came and went more often though, busy with school. Damian on the other hand would stay for days at a time, practically moving in. 

He spotted her gym duffel bag on the dining table, the big folder she hauled around at all times leaning against the foot of the table. The folder had once been filled with drawings of Tim and Damian and Jason, of Gotham’s night sky and Metropolis. It was now full of sketches of interiors, modern buildings, and public spaces. Alex’s vision of a future Gotham. Jason loved perusing her sketches, he loved seeing Gotham through her eyes, all the potential it held.

He dropped his weapons and mask and made for the bedroom, a trail of shoes and clothes guiding him. He approached the open bathroom door, the room hot and steamy. Jason knocked on the doorframe and leaned against it, watching her through the glass of the shower. Alex had been jumpy since he’d met her, it had only gotten worse since the Dodge shootout. He didn’t mind it, he was quite jumpy himself, but he knew better than to sneak up on her – it could go one of two ways, she’d either get her day ruined by getting extremely anxious, or he ran the risk of ending up with a black eye.

“Oh hey!” – She said with one eye closed, foam and bubbles on her hair. – “Hop in! It’s nice and toasty in here!” – Jason started taking off his clothes.

“I thought you said you weren’t coming tonight.” – He asked joining her in the shower.

“Well, I wasn’t going to. I had some plans but Damian showed up and we ended up getting dinner and then I dropped him off at home… It’d be too late for studying anyways so might as well spend the night.” – She rinsed her hair under the water and Jason passed her the conditioner.

“The iranian place?” – He asked, Alex hummed in confirmation. She rinsed the conditioner and they switched places, Jason led her around so he’d be under the water now.

“How did it go with Carl? He give you anything?” – She asked starting to lather herself in soap.

“Here, let me do it.” – Jason said taking the bar of soap for himself and dutifully lathering Alex up with it, the lavender scent refreshing after a night on the streets. – “Yeah he was a bit tough to crack but I got enough, even paid the Penguin a visit too.”

“Oh shit, dit it go ok?” – Alex asked switching places with him again, running under the water and taking the bar of soap herself to scrub him with it.

“Yeah it was easy, had a nice chat with him too… Think I might be able to pull this off afterall…” – He raised his arms and let Alex scrub him.

“Red Hood taking over Gotham’s underworld…” – She said leaning in for a kiss. Jason held her tightly, she dropped the soap.

“Can’t help it, I want all of Gotham for myself.” – He smiled and they kissed more. The room filling with steam, white smoky steam.

Chapter Text

They were standing side by side, shoulders almost touching in the art deco hallway of one of Gotham’s oldest but most well preserved buildings. There was tension in the air, Bruce reached for the doorbell and rung. The sound of the doorbell was not a usual buzzer but rather the sound of high pitched bells one would associate with fairies.

“Where are we again?” – Jason asked turning to face Bruce, an eyebrow raised.

“Visiting an old friend, take your shoes off when we go in. She won’t ask but she minds.” – Bruce said looking straight ahead.

The door opened just as Bruce finished speaking. A mesmerizingly beautiful woman was on the other side of the door. Hair black as a raven and her eyes a jewel toned blue, hypnotic. Zatanna.

“Bruce, Jason… Come in.” – She said leading the two men into her apartment. They both kicked their shoes by the door and stood awkwardly by plants and umbrellas of every color. A surprising amount of umbrellas for one person to own. Jason had mismatched socks and felt out of place in the ornate entryway. 

“Good boy you remember…” – She said smiling at Bruce, Jason felt like he was intruding on the two for a moment. A familiar feeling when it came to Bruce and his ‘old friends’.

The apartment was spacious but cozy. Well decorated albeit a bit kitsch, dark colors and velvet all over: the residence of a true magician. Feminine and mysterious, the room invited you but its clutter told you you were in no regular home. 

Introductions were made and stories retold. Jason shared more with Zatanna than he had with Bruce, revealing for just how long the howling had been chasing him around before the attacks happened in Gotham and the intensity of the headaches that plagued him since.

“Hum… Curious, I wonder why now… Why Gotham specifically…” – She said pouring a cup of tea and handing it to Jason, who thanked her and sipped the warm brew. – “I mean Gotham is… Haunted in many ways but I would’ve noticed if there were any powers like that stirring these days…”

“There was more. Tim mentioned you two were temporarily transported away from Kate’s apartment during the attack.”

“Well, I don’t think we ever left left. I think it was an illusion so that we wouldn’t see who killed the man.” – He refrained from sharing his thoughts on the white smoke, that he knew the killer might’ve been someone he knew – Essence. The omission came of a desire to protect her. If it had been her who’d come in to protect him, he wouldn’t want Batman to know, he wouldn’t want to implicate her.

“Why don’t you give me that back honey…” – She reached over and grabbed the cup from Jason’s hand. – “And why don’t you sit back on the couch there on your own and take off your shirt for me?” – She led him to the couch where she’d been sitting, across from a coffee table full of crystals and books in languages he’d never even seen before. Bruce was sitting on a chair across from the two now.

Jason was unsure about the whole thing, feeling a little… Heightened after the tea. His senses were stronger, sounds and smells and lights were brighter. Candles flickered with a beckoning light, he could almost hear the flames calling out to him.

“Ugh I don’t think that’s a good idea.” – He fought back against removing his shirt in front of Bruce, not sure he wanted him to see his scars, tugging at the hem nervously.

“Jason it’s fine. Zatanna knows what she’s doing.” – Bruce reassured Jason, looking him in the eye with kindness. Jason didn’t know how to feel about it, he could handle Bruce being stern, he could handle him being strict, he could handle Batman, he couldn’t handle Bruce being paternal.

Bruce watched as Jason pulled the baggy long sleeve shirt over his head and reclined against the soft cushions avoiding his gaze. He hadn’t seen it, but he’d expected it. Seeing Jason’s autopsy scars made him feel ill for a moment. He tried to focus on something else, on a memory of a day much like this with Zatanna. The two were younger then, and he himself had been sitting shirtless having her draw strange symbols on his chest to conjure magic. It felt like a lifetime ago. 

Jason looked so different now. Not just because of the scars, but all of him. He’d been so small when he’d first moved in, having spent so much time alone on the streets of Gotham. He’d gotten stronger with time but nothing compared to now. The Lazarus Pit had restored him to his full potential, years of neglect wiped off his bones and the training with the Assassins had granted him a physique comparable to Batman’s.

“How do you feel Jason?” – She asked rubbing her hands together and placing them gently on his temples.

“Fine… A little… Jittery, like I just did speed or something…” – He spoke without thinking, wondering if Zatanna had charmed him or if the brew had the same effect of alcohol.

“Interesting… You are quite sensitive aren’t you? Magic sensitive I mean…” – She moved her hands to his shoulders, they felt heavy. – “You’ve looked inside before… You’ve connected with ancient powers… Your soul… You can materialize it?”

“Yeah… I don’t really do magic though…”

“You could. You could do a lot more than those blades I can tell you that…” – Her eyes were closed. Jason felt at ease with her, maybe because she reminded him of Alex some, the black shiny hair, beautiful delicate features. – “Alright Jason, I want you to think of the attacks, think of the dogs, visualize them. Remember what they felt like, how they looked, how you felt around them…” 

Jason thought back to that night, the pain of the gash, the fear he’d felt under the beast. He thought back to the howling and the nights he’d spent wondering if it was real or whether he was going insane. 

“Mmm try harder won’t you? I’m not picking up anything…” – Zatanna complained, moving her hands further down, one on his back and he other on his arm over the scars the beasts left him with. She felt a small flash when she touched his arm but it dissipated quickly. Her hands felt warm against his cool skin.

Jason kept thinking of how the beasts had made him feel. He thought back to the pain of the gashes, how afraid he’d been when it had clawed at his face and broken his mask. He thought of how Alex had looked at him, at the real him for the first time, how afraid she’d looked seeing the cuts. He remembered how she’d looked as she’d stitched him back up, her red eyes so mesmerizing he’d fallen asleep watching her concentrate. She always had this look when she concentrated, furrowing her brow a little as if she was angry at the task at hand. The same way she’d furrow her brows when she’d come that morning when the beasts attacked him and Tim…

“Yes!” – Zatanna exclaimed. – “Yes that’s it! Keep thinking of whatever you were thinking about, that’s the connection point!”

Jason obeyed, despite being unsure how deeply he should think of Alex… He wasn’t sure whether Zatanna could see into his mind. 

He thought back to the night before, how she’d looked in the shower, covered in bubbles. How soft her skin had felt and how happy he’d been to see her home. He’d carried her off to bed and let her ride him until he’d begged her to let him finnish her off, having been on the edge of ecstasy for far too long. He’d held her down tightly, grabbing her legs up and letting them rest on his shoulder, fucking her strong and deep until they both exhaled in relief, ready for a night of deep unbothered sleep. 

Zatanna let go of him, handing him back his t-shirt and sitting back on the couch next to him.

“Well… I don’t know who it is… This is some powerful magic, ancient stuff.” – She looked at Bruce with some concern. – “But the attacks, the headaches… I think I know why now, why whoever they are seem to be getting closer to you now. What did you think about just now Jason?” 

“I was… I was thinking of Alex. She stitched me up, she saved me from the dogs first actually…”

“Who’s Alex?” – She asked touching the scars on his arm again. She could feel what he felt, a deep emotional connection… She felt joy and pleasure, excitement and young love. She looked over at Bruce, remembering how they’d once shared such a connection.

“His girlfriend.” – Said Bruce, leaning over his knees and resting his head on a fist.

“Well I don’t… We haven’t really discussed that yet….” – Jason started mumbling, Zatanna smiled pulling her hand away and patting him on the shoulder.

“It all makes sense now… Whoever is trying to find you has been trying to connect with you, that is why I think you have the headaches… It’s an attempt at reaching out to you but you’re stubborn aren’t you?”

“What makes sense now?” – Jason asked leaning forward in much the same way as Bruce, only Zatanna noticed.

“They’re using an emotional connection to ground themselves to you, to tether themselves. It can be hard reaching out to one soul long distance, but a powerful enough emotion might make it easier to reach you… It’s love!” – She exclaimed looking at Bruce. – “Whoever is trying to reach you is using your love for Alex to find you, to penetrate your mind! It’s genius, albeit unpredictable and failable but still, no more powerful emotion to follow than love, is there?” – She asked smiling wide at the two. – “Alex…I saw her red eyes… Guess I got the bunny out of the hat in the end, didn’t I?” – Jason laughed at that, Bruce smiled.

-

Bruce and Jason walked out of the building side by side. Jason was about to say his goodbyes and leave when Bruce anticipated Jason’s will to escape and urged him to get in the car parked out front.

“Get in the car.” 

“I can walk it’s fine, the tea wasn’t that…-” – Bruce interrupted him.

“Get in the car. We need to talk.” – Jason obeyed despite his wishes not to.

“What’s up?” – He asked once sat, slamming the door closed. He could swear Bruce had rolled his eyes at him in response.

“Zatanna will stay on the case for now, I’ll do some investigating of my own. What are you going to do?”

“Me?!” – Jason asked confused. – “I don’t know… I’ll kill any dog that comes sniffing by my door? What am I supposed to do?”

Bruce was silent for a moment. He agreed there might not be much Jason could do at this point in time. He was more so asking what Jason planned on doing in general, he could tell Jason was different from the Jason that had come back not too long ago but he still felt unsure about him, uneasy. 

“It would perhaps be wise to stay away from Alex for a bit… If your connection is what’s drawing whatever is after you closer…-” – Bruce was interrupted.

“Yeah like that’s gonna happen” – Jason rolled his eyes.– “I don’t have the best track record for doing the wise thing, this isn’t where I’m gonna start. It’s fine… I can handle the headaches.” – A lie, he was struggling with them. – “Besides, being with Alex has been the best decision I’ve made in a while. Don’t ask me to push her away.” – Jason’s tone had shifted during the conversation. It had gone from boredom to snarky to now defensive, he was shielding himself, pushing Bruce away.

Bruce nodded, choosing not to push Jason further. He wondered whether he should just let him go and keep an eye on him. As he was thinking Jason tried reaching for the door to leave, Batman reacted instinctively and locked the door.

My turn. – He thought.

“What the fuck? Child lock?” – Jason complained turning to face Bruce.

“Why Penguin?” – Batman asked.

“That’s none of your business. Let me out.”

“No. Try again.” – He said looking ahead, hands on the wheel.

“Can you? For fuck’s sake…” – Jason sat in silence for a moment, he knew there was probably no way out, he couldn’t out freeze Batman. – “He’s controlling sex work in Gotham for a while now, and he’s fucking terrible at it. It’s only a matter of time before a guy like Hawk or worse comes along. I’m making sure that doesn’t happen.”

“As Red Hood?” – Batman asked. He disliked the name, he understood it, but he disliked it nonetheless.

“Yes, as Red Hood. I’m watching Cobblepot, I’m infiltrating. Besides, it’s not like you’re any good at this type of thing anyways.”

“What type of thing?” – Bruce said turning to face Jason, he knew how to push his buttons like no one else.

“Complicated stuff. You can’t do shit, imperfect work. Arresting Penguin or Hawk or any other won’t make any difference in the end, won’t make any of the women safe. You don’t do the type of change that is needed to deal with the actual issue, you don’t do systemic work.” – Jason was waving his hands around as he spoke

“Jason… Bruce Wayne is the world’s biggest philanthropist… Batman is…”

“Well Bruce Wayne isn’t doing shit to tackle violence against sex workers or the conditions that lead poor women to find themselves with no other choice other than to prostitute themselves to this scum out there that beats them and kills them.”

Bruce was silent, staring at Jason. This was a familiar conversation. He took offense that Jason saw his work as Batman in such simplistic terms, just arresting bad guys and not doing anything for the actual people of Gotham. But he also understood why Jason would think so, he was still a kid when he died and it had been so long ago. Still, it was offensive.

“You do know I have a grasp on nuance don’t you?” – He finally asked Jason, one hand holding tightly onto the wheel.

“Not enough. Let me out of the car I got shit to do.” – Jason said trying the door again.

“You do realise most of my work for this city is done without the cowl on?”

“... I guess…” – Jason realised he did not actually know the full extent of Bruce’s work these days and felt a little silly. He wasn’t wrong, Bruce wasn’t doing enough in some ways, but how could he? – “Either way, let me out now.” – He tried the door again.

“No. It’s my turn now. You sit down and listen. Alex has been a positive influence on Damian. She’s been a stabilising force in his life in ways I had hoped to be. She’s constant, she’s always there for him. Damian has never been this willing to just be a teenager and spend his time in his room drawing or hanging around people. But you will not undo all this by being messy and dragging Damian into one of your crusades around Gotham you hear me?”

“Did you just call me messy? What the fuck even is that? Just lock me up already won’t you, if that’s how this is going to be.”

“No. This isn’t how it’s going to be. You sort yourself out, don’t kill anyone. Save all the women you want, find your purpose, run Park’s with Alex, address the root causes of cycles of poverty, that’s your business.” – He sighed. –  “Damian looks up to you. Damian respects you and enjoys your company and I know you do too. Keep it together and don’t mess up all your girlfriend has done for him.”

“We haven’t discussed any relationship s-” – Jason started complaining in a low voice but was interrupted by Bruce.

“And another thing. Alex stays in school.”

“...Ok? What’s that to you?” – Jason replied widening his eyes, a hand gesture hanging in the air.

“I care about Alex a great deal. Going to school was a good decision and she should carry on. I think she can do some real good for Gotham if she keeps going in this track.” – Jason was surprised. He hadn’t expected to hear Bruce speak about Alex this way, they’d had so few interactions afterall, but he agreed. He thought back to her illustrations, the semester project she was planning of a community center at The Hill. He remembered how much he’d enjoyed school, how much effort he had been putting into his grades before…

“Of course she’ll stay in school! It’s offensive you’d think I wouldn’t encourage her.” Jason turned and tried opening the door again thinking he’d had the last word, it was still locked. – “Seriously?”

“I’ve drank that same tea before.” – Bruce said getting the car in gear and driving off. – “I hope you don’t have any plans with Alex, I’ll get you home as fast as I can but you will be throwing up for the rest of the day.” 

“I feel fine but sure.” – Jason said taking a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket and fidgeting with it. – “How did that feel, huh?” – He asked referring to Bruce’s rant.

“Good.” – He replied smiling, facing the road.

-

Chapter Text

Another day dawned in Gotham, cloudy and windy. The sky was particularly dark, no forecast of rain tough. It was the type of darkness only Gothams’ sky carried. Alex ignored her first alarm go off, turning away in her narrow dorm bed hoping for more sleep. By the time the third alarm went off she knew she had no choice. It was go time. 

She jumped out of bed despite still being extremely sleepy and got dressed as quickly as she could, tying her long black hair in a messy ponytail. She almost forgot her contacts before rushing off her dorm room carrying a school bag, a duffel with her dobok and other taekwondo needs, and her big folder with her illustrations. She left and took a few steps before realising she’d forgotten to put on her necklace, the one Tim had gifted her on her birthday. She turned around and ran back into her room, quickly putting the small necklace on like she did every day. She never wore it as Gotham Girl though, afraid it could get damaged – not that it mattered, she hadn’t put her suit on in… Ages… She hadn’t been Gotham Girl in a while, only Alex. She missed it sometimes…

If only I could swing to class… It’d be so much more time efficient…

She lamented having to walk as she made her way to campus, only a few blocks away, stopping to get coffee and breakfast on her way. It would be a long day: Building Technology and Materials followed by Advanced Mathematics and Historic Preservation. She waited in line for a coffee and bagel, distracted by the sounds of the coffee machines and chatter around her. 

“Alex?” – Asked the barista handing her a cup of coffee. Alex froze the moment she looked up at the man who’d just called her. He looked just like him…

“Gregg?” – She asked quietly, incapable of believing her eyes.

“Sorry, what was that?” – Asked the teenager handing her the cup.

Fucking hell Alex… – She thought feeling embarrassed, her eyes had betrayed her and she felt foolish.

It wasn’t Gregg. It was definitely not Gregg.The hair had been similar enough for sure but it was not Gregg. Alex thanked the boy for the coffee and resisted the urge to rub her eyes before bolting out of the coffee shop. Her face was warm and her throat tight, she wished Jason was there right now to give her a cigarette or a lemon drop. Man sure knew his coping mechanisms. She gave herself a moment outside the coffee shop, watching the dark clouds moving fast and taking a few deep breaths before carrying on her route to class. It had happened a few times, seeing Gregg around, it always brought a panic with it. Sightings of Gregg, loud unexpected noises and especially gunshot sounds brought the same feeling, the tightening of the throat, the difficulty breathing, the muffled sounds and need to run. She’d been doing her best to ignore it, but living in Gotham made it harder than other places would.

The day went by faster than expected, she’d found herself struggling to focus, her mind going back to the kid in the coffee place and Gregg on his knees before he’d been shot. She hadn’t had a bad day in a while, she hadn’t thought about Park or Gregg or Melissa much these days. She’d been busy, and happy. 

Class ended and Alex rushed to Park’s on her motorbike, happy to be getting some fresh air. The wind was strong and traffic light, she arrived earlier than expected and managed to catch Jason before his class was done. It was a routine by now, a couple times a week he’d open up the studio with Damian, train with him some and then he’d be responsible for the two kids groups. Alex would come after class and take over the teens and adults. Jason might be a great fighter in many styles, but he was better equipped at dealing with a room full of kids with too much energy than overachieving teenagers and exhausted middle aged men with a thing for Martial Arts movies.

She made it to the top of the stairs almost out of breath, her breathing still irregular, and walked slowly to the office, watching Jason guide the kids in repeating the five taekwondo tenets followed by bows and shaking of each other’s hands. It always looked like madness with the little ones, but Jason thrived in that gleeful chaos.

“You’re early.” – He said stepping into the office, drying off some sweat off the back of his neck with a handtowel.

“Did you make any… Yes!” – Alex rejoiced pouring herself a cup of coffee from the old beige thermos. Jason had started brewing coffee for Alex before she’d come in for about a month now, not knowing that was something she’d done for Park for years.

Jason had had a slow day, he’d slept in and worked out, cooked himself a lovely meal and gotten himself to Park’s. He’d grown to enjoy the routine of it, especially the kids. Alex had come in like a blur, moving faster than he could track and looked sickly pale. Her eyes were red and dry, irritated from the contact lenses. Her movements were somewhat unpredictable, she was shaky and restless. Jason observed her for a moment with concern, the energy of the room had shifted with her arrival.

“Are you…? Are you alright? What’s wrong with you?” – He walked up to Alex and stood close to her, a hand pushing a strand of hair away from her face and holding her chin up, watching her attentively.

“... I’m… I don’t know, what’s up?” – She responded moving away and taking a sip of the coffee and holding his hand.

“You’re white as a sheet of paper… You look like you’ve seen a ghost and you’re shaking…” – Alex turned paler hearing that, Jason took her head in both hands. She was preparing for a kiss but rather he just inspected her further, turning her head side to side and up and down until she started giggling.

“I’m fine! I gotta get ready for class!” – She said disentangling from Jason. – “It’s just been a long day and I didn’t sleep enough last night…”

“Ok… Make sure you get to bed earlier tonight Lexie, you’re doing too much these days…” – Jason said taking a sip from her cup as she changed into her dobok.

Lexie…

He’d never called her Lexie before, it had been months since she’d last heard it… Only Park called Alex by Lexie. She thought she’d heard it for the last time and yet on this day, on this eerie and haunted day she heard it again.

“I will… You gotta run already?” – She asked, feeling more grounded now.

“Yeah, I have a few people to meet in about an hour…” – Jason’s shift was over, it was time for Red Hood to clock in.

“That’s fine, thanks so much for taking over. The kids love you… I gotta go out and warm up a little. I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” – He confirmed and gave her a long kiss on the forehead, holding tightly to her shoulders. She was still shaky, not unusual, especially these days when she was running on coffee and… Not much else… He wanted to stay, to keep her company and then take her out for a date and go home, but Gotham Girl wasn’t out there, so Red Hood would be, and Red Hood had a lot of shit to get done.

-

Jason was standing by his motorbike around the Bowery listening to the police radio. There was a chill in the air, the sky was dark and of a greenish shade. Jason Todd couldn’t help but be a bit of a superstitious man, he could sense there was something in the air. He’d had a few good meetings up to that point, men who worked for Penguin and others at the Iceberg. Things had changed since he’d last been to Gotham but not that much that he couldn’t easily make his way back into the depths of Gotham’s criminal world. He was done with meetings now and could do some patrolling, some good old school crime fighting.

He picked up a transmission that caught his attention, at first thinking it was just a misdial, soon noticing it was a call to Gotham’s police department.

“Yes, I said one large peperoni please.”

“Repeat large if he is in the house with you ma’am.”

“Large, yes.” – Jason started tracking the location of the call.

“Does he have any weapons? Coke for gun, fanta for knives or other sharp objects.”

“Coke please, or maybe Fanta too…”

“Copy that Isa, we are dispatching a unit to your location. Try and keep your distance from your husband ma’am.”

“Thank you very much, it’ll be payment in cash ok?” – The line disconnected, Jason was turning the corner of the origin of the call. He made his way up the fire escape peaking into apartments as he moved up, it should be the third or fourth floor. He heard a scream: fourth floor. 

He ran up and looked inside, there was a man holding a gun in the middle of the room, waving it around carelessly. 

“You stupid slut, it’s all no comprendo until it’s about spending my fucking money isn’t it? I said I wanted you to cook dinner not buy a fucking pizza!”

A young woman laid across from him on the floor holding her face, he’d struck her. The man had his back to the window. Jason would need to be careful when tackling him, make sure he didn’t fire.

“Stop fucking crying!” – The man screamed.

Jason broke in through the window reaching for the man’s arm that was holding the gun, he took it from him easily but the man was putting up a fight. It was too risky to fight the man with Isa in the room, he could reach for her any moment. He reeked of alcohol.

“Isa run!” – Jason commanded and fought the man. It didn’t take much, he gave him a couple hard punches and rendered him on his knees. Jason looked around him and saw knives and a rope on the kitchen table.

“You sick fuck, what were you gonna do with this huh?” – Jason asked reaching for the rope.

“Fuck you…” – The man groaned. – “Who the fuck you think you are? Superman?” – The man spat blood on the carpet.

“You should be thanking the heavens it’s me and not him, pal.” – Jason said punching the man on the stomach, he retched up a thin stream of vomit. – “Pathetic, can give but can’t take?” – Jason punched him again on the face, the man almost unconscious now, he felt the man’s jaw dislocate under his knuckles. He tied him up good, leaving him to rot over his own puke and ran after the woman.

“Isa? It’s ok now, he’s not going to hurt you.” – He spoke standing in the middle of a dark hallway, closed doors lining it. She hadn’t left the apartment, but he wasn’t sure where she’d hidden. – “I can get you out of here, police is coming for him. Are you hurt?”– He stopped by the bathroom door and heard her whimpering.

“Yes…” – Her voice was faint over the door. Jason lowered himself to his knees, he could hear police sirens approaching.

“I’m here to help you Isa, can you let me help you?” – The door opened slowly, she was leaning against the side of the sink.

“My ankle, I tripped.”– She said wiping away tears.

“I got you, let’s get you out of here.” – She let Jason pick her up and he carried her downstairs. He met the police outside, there was an ambulance waiting. He delivered the young woman to the paramedics and disappeared before he could be questioned. 

He felt a rush driving away on his bike, he felt… Good. 

-

Alex didn’t hear Jason knocking on her window, nor did she hear him sliding it open. She could feel a presence in the room and looked away from her sketchbook for a moment to see Red Hood standing by her bed saying something, holding a pizza box on his hands. She removed her headphones. 

“... on your desk?” – He was saying as he removed his mask and dropped it on her bedside table. 

“What?” – She asked confused.

“Can I put the pizza box on your desk? I wanna get my clothes off quick.” – He asked moving towards her and setting the box down on an empty corner of her chaotic desk. He kissed her forehead quickly before turning away and undressing.

“Are you…? What time…?” – Alex felt like she’d just woken up from a deep dream, was it tomorrow already? Didn’t he say he’d see her the day after?

“Like 3, why are you still up?” – He asked putting on some clothes he had stashed under her bed.

“I… Lost track of time… I thought you weren’t coming tonight or is it tomorrow already?” – He leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

“Both. It is tomorrow, technically, and yeah I wasn’t coming ‘tonight’ but I just… I wanted to see you. Have you eaten?” – She got up and let him sit on her desk chair and then sat on one of his thighs, the one closest to the desk and continued sketching.

“Yeah but I’ll have a bite, canteen was kinda crap today.” – She replied mindlessly as she reached for a pencil. Jason reached around her and hugged her tightly, resting his face at the base of her neck, comforted by her scent. – “What’s up with you?” – She asked giggling and dropping the pencil down.

“There was this guy tonight, was beating his girl.” – He held onto her tightly.. – “It made me… Made me really mad… I… I just needed to see you, make sure you were ok…”

Alex leaned back so she could see his face. She kissed him on the cheek and smiled.

“Did you fuck him up?” – She asked smiling.

“Oh yeah…” – He said reaching for the pizza box and taking a slice, he offered it to Alex first who took a bite and then took a bite himself. – “Think I broke his jaw.”

They sat together and ate, talking about their respective days. Jason’s had been full of action and heroics. Alex’s on the other hand had gone by in a blur. As soon as she’d gotten used to being in one place, it was time to move onto the next. She’d found some peace sketching in her room and had gotten carried away, having struggled to fall asleep on her own at a reasonable hour. 

They eventually squeezed into her bed together, Alex laying practically on top of him so they’d both fit. He didn’t mind it, he liked sleeping like that, her weight over him, her breathing soothed him. Alex too would manage to finally fall asleep with him there, thankful she’d only have afternoon classes the next day and could therefore enjoy a late morning in with Jason. It was always hard to get out of bed when he was still there, pulling her and begging her to stay with him just a little loger. 

Just before Alex fell asleep Jason spoke to her, softly, his voice sounding sleepy.

“I would never do that to you. I know I’m violent, I know I’ve done bad things… But never that… I would never hurt you like that.” – Alex nuzzled up to him, kissing his neck.

“I know… I don’t fear you Jason. I don’t fear you at all.” – Her response made him happy, he wrapped his arms around her tighter, a pang of pain in his head. He didn’t tell Alex about the pain, he didn’t tell her he’d still been feeling it since the night of the attack. She had enough on her mind.

Chapter Text

Damian hadn’t spent much time at Wayne Manor that week, enjoying the company of Jason at Kate’s penthouse more and more. They kept some order around, but it was clear there were two men living in the apartment now. Besides, Alex had barely ‘lived’ there, sleeping mostly on the couch and eating takeout. She’d never felt entitled to the space until Jason came to Gotham and they eventually started living there together before the autumn semester had started. Damian was practically moved in though, one of the guest rooms full of his clothes and notebooks, only returning home when he knew Bruce wasn’t there to take care of his pets. 

Truth be told he’d been avoiding Bruce since deciding he didn’t want to be Robin anymore. He was feeling… a lot. Jason being back had reminded him of how different his life before Gotham had been, the good and the bad. He’d been interrogating his role as Robin for some time now, no longer feeling the urge to excel at it, or to be it at all. Bruce had tried his hardest to make Damian comfortable in Gotham, to try and help him have a somewhat normal life and to see him as his father. And the truth was, Bruce’s wishes for Damian to enjoy a more regular life in Gotham… Well, it had worked, so much he didn’t see a purpose in being Robin anymore. He’d started feeling more comfortable being Damian. He’d been finding out who he was outside of who he’d been told to be, who he thought he needed to be. He’d been feeling more comfortable and then the attack at Park’s had happened and Damian had reverted back. He’d thought like an Assassin, he’d wished to hurt those men like Talia’s son, and he’d struggled to keep those feelings down since. He couldn’t be Robin anymore, not now.

Damian was now drawing one of his comics and listening to music on the couch of Kate’s-Alex’s-Jason’s penthouse. Alex was on the other end of the couch channel surfing and Jason was taking a shower. It was quiet, peaceful, and he wasn’t alone. He liked not feeling alone.

Alex was almost falling asleep when she stumbled on one of the sports channels. It was an interview, the USA Taekwondo team for the Olympics. All weight categories featured and front and center was Penelope Louise Harwick from Star City. Alex froze seeing the uppity ginger take the mic to respond to a question about how she felt about her victory in the last National Grand Qualifying. Alex didn’t hear a word she said. 

The truth was, Alex had dreamt of it her whole life. She’d pretended her more recent focus on qualifying for the Olympics was just to keep appearances while she tried to dive into being Gotham Girl, but she’d enjoyed the competition, she’d worked for it her whole life afterall, and then… Then it was taken from her. It should’ve been her there, not Penelope. It would’ve been her had it not been for the Doc and his experiment… She’d had to miss the finals, it wouldn’t have been fair to fight for sport now. She’d buried the thought, moved on and started school, found herself with a boyfriend and life was good. In the back of her mind she’d thought about it though, about how much she wished she could’ve done it.

Damian noticed Alex had finally settled on a channel and looked over at her. She was sitting with her legs up by her chest, holding the remote control tightly against her face and biting her lip - her eyes watery and more red than usual.

“Alex?” – He asked taking off his headphones and putting the notebook down. She didn’t respond. – “Alex, what’s… What’s wrong?”

“That… That should’ve been me there…” – There was no stopping it now, there was a stream of dramatic tears running down her cheek, she breathed in deep. – “If I hadn’t… It would’ve…” 

Damian acted instinctively and lunged across the couch and put an arm around her, hugging her. He didn’t know what to say, but he understood the weight of that moment. He’d trained with her for almost the full year, helping her sharpen her skills. He’d found it stupid at first, but he’d come to see the value of practicing a martial art for… purposes other than to kill or self-defence. There was beauty in the discipline of diving into a tradition like that, dedicating oneself to dominate it because… Well because it was worthwhile. Besides, he knew what it was like to spend a life working towards something and then for that something to just… Fizzle, go away… Stop being your reality. Alex worked towards it because it was who she was, it was a part of her and had been since childhood. And just as she’d reached the fullest of her abilities up to that point, she had it taken away from her. It had given her life meaning, shaped her body and soul, and now it would never be the same. Damian knew what that was like, he’d been struggling with that same feeling for some time now. 

Jason walked in and paused seeing Damian and Alex on the couch, staring at the TV. He walked up to them and looked at the screen and before he could ask what was going on he blurted out:

“Is that Penelope Louise?!” – The tension was broken, Alex laughed at his exclamation and dried her tears. She might’ve lost Park, and she might’ve lost the chance to be at the Olympics, but she had gained the friendship and loyalty of the two brothers. It didn’t erase the hurt, but it made it easier to overcome the sadness of loss.

-

“What are we doing here?” – Jason asked blowing the smoke of his cigarette away from Alex, looking around the messy and stinky alley she had brought him to.

“I… I want to ask you something… But I also get it that it might be… Too much. You can just tell me to shut up and we can go if it’s too much…”

“What on earth could be too much? What are you talking about?” – He asked feeling uneasy.

“This is the alley where I was ambushed by Fang’s thugs a little over a year ago.” – Jason looked around uncomfortably, there was tension in the air, he’d felt it since they’d arrived. – “This is where Gregg, that kid I had on the inside, was killed.”

“What do you want to know?” – Jason asked, anticipating the type of question she might have in mind.

“Is it… Is it peaceful? Not the dying… But the being dead…” – She asked finally looking at Jason, she’d been staring at the spot on the ground since they’d arrived.

Jason thought of how best to answer, he wasn’t sure what she was looking for and so he settled for the truth.

“In a way… It’s… Nothing, but that’s kinda comforting in a strange way. I was in that warehouse, bloody and in pain and then… Then I was in my grave, in the dark. There’s no, consciousness if that’s what you’re asking… But there have been times since I’ve been back where I’ve been hit with that feeling, a… Longing for it. Like that type of dreamless sleep. It is comforting in a way…” – He worried he might’ve made it harder on her, he worried she might want to hear Gregg was looking over her or something instead. He didn’t make it worse though. She wiped a tear and smiled softly.

“So you… There was nothing, it was just… Sleep?”

“Yeah, I… I guess you can say that… I’m sorry if that’s not-” – Alex lunged at him and hugged him, interrupting him mid sentence.

“Thank you… I… This whole time that’s… I didn’t want him to be in pain anymore and… I selfishly wished there was nothing on the other side…” – Jason pushed her away just enough so he could look at her, still holding her back tightly.

“Why selfishly?”

“Because I didn’t want Gregg to think he killed me like I killed him. He went first, but… How would he know, you know? I was about to be executed… I didn’t want him to go thinking he’d led me to my death…”

“He lead you to yours just as much as you killed him, neither of you knew who you were messing with… What they were capable of. I know you’d never have asked him to work for Fang if you knew the outcome, and he would never have brought you here if he knew their real plans for the night…”

“I know… Doesn’t change anything, what we thought, what we hoped for… I was stupid, twice I’ve stumbled blindly into death and made it out by nothing short of a miracle.”

“Gotham looks over you.” – Jason said, She smiled at him.

“That’s what I always say…”

-

Jason was lying down on the tatami at Park’s, his palms pressing against his eyes and temples. He was trying to focus on the sound of heavy rain outside to distract him from the headache he could feel coming up. He’d helped Alex clean up the studio and was tired now, hoping for a relaxed evening at home. He’d been working hard in Crime Alley, digging up every little bit of filth on the Penguin he could and holding just enough over his head to get him to increase security for the workers, not the guests at the lounge. He was also patrolling the Alley frequently, keeping an eye on the people who worked and lived there. He felt… Happy. He felt good, doing what he was doing. He’d found some purpose and for the first time in years he felt optimistic, hopeful. Batman had been watching, keeping his distance but relieved to see bits of Robin come through now and then, happy to see Jason doing good and happy with Alex and Damian.

“Penny for your thoughts?” – Alex said crashing down next to him.

“That was the most physically taxing thing I’ve done all week.” - He joked, his shoulder muscles tight from all the scrubbing.

“It’s hard work. Thank you for helping me, I still don’t like being here alone…”

“It’ll get better, you’ll reclaim this place. You probably should, you own it.” – She moved up over his chest and kissed him.

“You staying over tonight, right?” – He asked caressing her arms.

“I can if you want me to.” – She teased.

“Of course I want you to, I want you to always be there. I don’t know why you insist on that cramped dorm room of yours…” – He responded resting an arm under his head.

“It’s safer that way, you know it… No one’s asking me where I live, no one’s wondering why a kid from Crime Alley is in a penthouse in the Upper East Side…”

“I think you should stay more often. Place is technically yours anyways, Kate’s just letting me crash cause you looked at her with your big doe eyes and she can’t say no to you. She spoils you.”

“You spoil me.”

“How do I spoil you?” – He asked laughing. – “I have nothing to spoil you with!”

“How materialistic of you! I’m not talking about stuff!” – Jason jumped up and started tickling Alex, she quickly collapsed, rolling around and laughing on the tatami.

“I do love to spoil you…” – He said stopping the tickling, his hand resting over one of her breasts and squeezing it gently.

“I love you.” – She said with her eyes closed. She opened them wide in suprise, realising she’d said it out loud. Jason quickly leaned down and kissed her hard, holding her tightly and passionately.

Her saying she loved him then surprised him, but he didn’t want to say it back to her like a ‘thanks you too’ type of thing and so he’d kissed her to buy some time. He wished he’d said it first, he’d sure as hell thought it for some time now but had tried to slow his foolish heart, they hadn’t been together that long… Still, he couldn’t leave her hanging like that, so he started saying it back. He only got as far as saying I- when thunder roared outside, loud and booming. The lights flickered and Alex gasped loudly, the two laughed. The tension of the moment was broken, Jason leaned in, caressed her cheek and asked:

“Let’s go home yeah? We’ve spent time enough here for one day…”

-

The rain had kept pouring down, lightning and thunder gave the Gotham night sky an even darker aura than usual. Jason had been trying to fall asleep but it was useless. He tossed and turned with a terrible headache, a stiffness on his neck. Whenever he did manage to fall asleep he would soon awaken from strange dreams, frightening ones. Scenes of death and destruction flashed his mind, awakening him in a sweaty rush. He had just stirred awake from one of those: a familiar setting, a village he’d once stayed in whilst traveling with the League, a place where he’d been happy. The village was now destroyed, burning and bloody, and Jason couldn’t do anything about it. He looked over at Alex who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He reached over and placed his hand on her neck, feeling her heartbeat. It always soothed him to do so. He took his hand back and rubbed his face, feeling rougher than before he’d come to bed. 

He got up and stumbled into the kitchen, dizzy and unbalanced. His eyesight was blurry and he was struggling to think straight. He didn’t notice it but he was being loud, bumping into furniture, dragging objects with him as he aimed for the kitchen. Alex woke from the noise, noticing Jason was gone from the bed.

Jason grabbed a glass that was sitting on the counter and reached over the kitchen sink, opening up the faucet with difficulty. He managed to get a sip in before an intense wave of pain came over him, pain much stronger than any he’d ever experienced before. His eyesight was gone, instead all he could see were those flashes, the blood, the fire, the death. He saw people he knew slaughtered. He saw companions, assassins, members of the All-Caste, Essence… Dead. He dropped the glass, it made a loud shattering noise, and was brought to his knees. He wanted to scream, but the pain was such he could barely let out a whimper, groaning instead and struggling to breathe. 

Alex heard the glass breaking and rushed to the living room, Jason wouldn’t have seen her even if he wasn’t in such a state, Alex was convinced they were under attack once again, but she found nothing in the living room, no one. Jason was on the ground behind the kitchen island, leaning back against cupboards. Alex dropped to his level and started asking for him, asking what was wrong but her voice was a faint and distant sound.

“... Bruce…” – Was all he could let out, Alex went running back to the bedroom looking for her phone. 

The pain was excruciating, he was sweating and groaning, his muscles tensed and cramped. He didn’t hear the loud crashing sound of their door being kicked open by Damian. He didn’t hear his brother crying out his name.

Alex came rushing in to the living room to find Damian with a woman she didn’t recognise. She rushed to Jason as Damian and the woman did. Jason reached for Alex, holding her tightly, so tight it would leave a bruise. 

“Damian now!” – The woman commanded. Damian reached in his pocket and took a syringe, grabbing Jason’s arm to administer a sedative.

“Talia! The All-Caste…” – Jason managed to say through gritted teeth.

“... Is gone…” – Responded the woman with a firm tone.

“Al… Alex… I… I…” – He tried to tell her he loved her, fighting the sedative and grabbing her tighter. He couldn’t. He started letting go, relaxing and falling down into her arms.

“Damian…” – Alex said, looking back and forth between him and the woman, holding Jason tightly. 

“We need to leave Damian. Jason is not safe in Gotham.” – The woman spoke rushing to the balcony.

“It’ll be ok Alex… We’ll take care of him…” – Damian said looking deeply into her eyes.

“What are you…? What are you talking about? Where are you going?” – She asked frantically.

“Jason is the last of a powerful group of magic users and fighters… Help me get him up to the jet…” – Damian responded as he urged Alex to help him carry Jason. He wasn’t too heavy for her to carry at all but Damian wanted to help so she let him.

“Where are you taking him?” – She asked approaching the balcony, a jet fast approaching to take them.

“Mongolia, there is someone there who will know what happened. And how to stop it.” – Talia responded looking back at Alex and Damian. Her gaze was intense, she had the type of beauty to give someone pause. Damian looked so much like her. – “Tell Bruce the All-Caste has been decimated and whoever did it is after Jason. Tell him Damian and I will stop them. Tell him I will keep Jason safe.”

Assassins jumped out of the jet from a ramp and took Jason from Alex’s tight grip, helping Damian carry him in. She hadn’t wanted to let go, but Damian had kept his composure and urged her to let them take him with a nod and reassuring look, much like how Park had urged Damian to stand back during the attack. Alex let go, she saw them all board the plane, Jason’s body was limp, responseless. It was hard to watch. She stood there on the balcony as the hatch closed and the hovering black jet took off in the middle of the storm. She stood there until she couldn’t see it anymore, lost in the darkness of Gotham’s sky.

-

The aircraft was a repurposed military jet, rows of seats on the sides leaving the middle empty for traffic. Damian was sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the plane, holding Jason’s body against his, taking comfort from feeling his chest move, albeit slow and shallow. The was a small window he could look out from.

Gotham grew smaller, distant. For years he’d wished to leave. For years he’d hated it there, the dirt, the crime, the people and the unfamiliarity of it all. He’d hated being removed from his family, his culture, his purpose, only to be placed in a new family with a different and strange culture and a purpose so different he’d felt like he’d never fit in – Like he’d never belong. But now, as Gotham grew smaller in his eyes he felt a sadness overtake him. It had been many years since he’d moved here, he’d grown, and changed, and fought, and despaired, and yet… It had become home. Tim had become less of a challenger in his eyes, more like a brother you don’t really get along with but accept as your own and would fight beside against the whole world if need be. Bruce had gone from a confusing mentor and parental figure to someone he had sought out when in trouble, someone who’d been there for him and who he’d grown to care deeply about. He struggled with his emotions about Bruce and Batman, but he couldn’t deny that when he’d been afraid it had been his dad he’d called out for. 

Gotham had changed him, a change he’d resisted at first but that he now realised had made him learn and grow. It had comforted him and taken him in, claiming him as one of her own. Jason had come back, and him and Alex had given Damian exactly what he’d needed as he’d began interrogating his purpose and his identity. They’d given him the space to not be anyone at all, to simply exist in their company. 

Alex had trained him for months not knowing his true identity, and yet she’d seen him like few people ever had, she’d seen him like he didn’t even see himself and it had revealed much to him. Most importantly, he’d seen how that perception hadn’t seemed to change after she learned about his background, about his heritage. Damian was still just Damian. 

As the city shrunk out of sight he realised he’d become a part of it, and he wished he didn’t have to leave. He wished for his bed, at Wayne Manor. He wished for breakfast with Bruce and for training with Alex. He wished for home.

Jason flinched lightly, Damian noticed. He looked down at his brother. He looked so helpless it made Damian angry. Angry at whoever dared attack him like that in his home. He held him tighter, his eyes warm. No more would they be waiting for the next strike, no more would they sit back and hope this had been the last time. 

No more…

Chapter Text

Alex had been standing outside of Park’s, on the sidewalk, for some time now. She’d been at Park’s on her own since the attack, but she’d never been there completely alone. Someone was always going to come, Jason or Damian would show up or already be there, having opened up the place for her. She knew she’d have to do it, she didn’t want to cancel classes, but now that she was there she found herself unable to unlock the door and climb the steep stairs up to the main room. 

Come on, come on, come on just one fucking step after the other, come on… – She thought over and over.

She was sweating even though it was a cold day in Gotham. The palms of her hands clammy and her heart racing.

“You waiting for an invitation?” – A voice said behind her, Robin. He walked to her side and looked at her.

“Tim…”

“Come on, there’s only 30 minutes before the first class and you gotta find me a dobok somewhere.” – He took a step forward and turned to face her, extending his hand at her. She took it.

-

She was going through the office trying to find a dobok that would fit him, shuffling through bags of belts of every color and patches, and braces, and pads. He was sitting on the same chair he’d collapsed into the last time he’d been here, just before the attack. She’d just asked him why he’d come back.

“Thought I should check in on you, it’s been too long… Besides, you’re on your own I hear, I wanted to offer some help.” – He hadn’t ‘heard’ it, he’d been summoned.

“...And you will help her keep Park’s running too.” – Bruce had said after calling Tim back to Gotham.

“Shouldn’t she just close it for now? Isn’t she trying to do too much?” – Tim had retorted, unsure about Batman’s plan.

“No. She needs it, but she can’t do it alone. If she decides to close it it has to be because she’s ready, not because she was forced to do it, forced to make an impossible choice.”

“I get it but…”

“Then you get it.” – Bruce had replied with a stern look. 

“I’m not sure she’ll want my help…” –Tim had said ashamed. He’d admittedly failed to keep in touch after her birthday and felt bad about it. For all the ways Robin was reliable, and responsible, and competent, Tim struggled to do so in his personal life. His energy shifted drastically often enough, going from periods of intense focus and excitement to stretches of isolation and an excruciating stillness. He struggled to be a friend during both in different ways.

“Guess you’ll find out. Insist on it, she needs company…” – Bruce thought back to how he’d found her the night Talia took Jason.

Batman had arrived in the apartment while Alex was still outside in the rain. He’d approached her slowly, trying to piece together what had happened. He’d said her name several times but she’d ignored him. He’d draped his cape over her shoulder and stood in the rain with her until she’d spoken.

“Jason… Talia and Damian took him. The All-Caste is gone, Jason is in danger.” 

He hadn’t replied, only humming in understanding. He’d guided her slowly back inside, keeping a steady hand on her shoulder. She’d sat down on a chair on the dining table, soaking wet, her hair dripping. Batman had pulled up a chair and sat in front of to her, leaning towards her, making himself smaller. The apartment was dark, no light was on, their silhouettes could be seen against flashes of lightning.

“She said to tell you she’d keep him safe…”

“She will.”

“How can you be sure?” – She’d asked, her eyes swollen and red.

“Talia is fierce, she will protect her boys with everything she has.”

“I couldn’t. I… I couldn’t do anything… He was in so much pain and I…”

“You called me. That’s enough.” – She’d seemed to accept his words but internally she disagreed. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. Once again she’d found herself powerless, too little too late, not informed enough, not fast enough. 

Batman had sat with her for some time, trying to comfort her. He didn’t want her to be alone. He’d suggested taking her to her dad’s place and she’d eventually accepted. It had been silent in the room, save for the rain and thunder outside. They were both worried, and anxious, and feeling helpless, but they weren’t alone. Batman had called Tim from the batmobile on his way back to the batcave, summoning him to Gotham. He’d spent all night trying to track his sons with Oracle but they’d been unsuccessful. Gone like smoke, Talia had taken her boys away from Gotham and all Bruce could do was hope she’d keep her word. Hope she’d keep them safe until he could get them back home.

“Here, this should fit you… You look… Better.” – Alex said inspecting Tim as he stood up.

“Jeez the hell you mean by that?” – Tim replied laughing and opening up the plastic wrapping. Alex looked more relaxed now, he noticed. He also noticed she was wearing the necklace he’d gifted her, it made him happy.

“You were skinnier last time I saw you, I’d never seen you look like that… I worried about you…” – Tim had just taken off his shirt, he looked stronger than ever before.

“Yeah I was… I wasn’t taking care of myself… Being with the titans has been good, there’s more routine I guess… Someone always reminds me it’s time to eat.” – They laughed and Alex stepped out of the office to let him proceed with changing his clothes. 

There was a time they’d both get changed next to each other while chatting, passing each other items of clothing and joking around. It was odd to see Alex avert her gaze as she had when he’d taken off his shirt and step out, but Tim tried not to think much of it. Things had changed a lot since those days even though they felt like yesterday. 

Tim hadn’t been sure she’d want him back, whether he’d be greeted with a punch, a super punch this time. He wasn’t. But he also wasn’t greeted by the same girl he’d practically moved in with last year. Things had changed, Alex was different, her smile didn’t come as easily as it had before and her eyes had a hint of worry to them at all times. Tim understood why he’d been summoned, he understood his mission and he accepted it. Alex needed help, Alex needed a friend, Alex needed Tim.

-

Jason struggled to wake up, every time he thought he had, visualising himself getting up from bed, kissing Alex on the cheek and going to the kitchen to make breakfast he’d realise he was still dreaming and fall back into a tornado of strange nightmares. He was now finally managing to wake up for good, and he wasn’t home. He was lying face down on a thin mat on the ground, an earthy and smoky smell around him. He moved slowly, groaning and complaining as he did. The space around him was circular, a tent with an opening at the top so light would shine in. He’d been in such homes before, a mongolian ger for sure. The space was empty save for a woman crouching by a small electric burner, a kettle on. Jason sat up, feeling dizzy.

“Do not attempt to get up, Jason.” – The woman looked back at him, it was Talia.

“Where are we?”– He asked coughing, his throat dry.

“Have you grown so accustomed to Gotham City high rises you no longer recognise the tents you called home for years?” – She poured the hot water into a small ceramic cup and walked towards him. He didn’t respond.

She had a veil around her head loosely draped over her shoulders but her clothes were less traditional, practical. He knew her well enough to know Talia adored wearing long flowy silks and feminine sets with intricate embroidery. If she was wearing such practical, almost military style clothing that meant one thing: Talia was at war.

“Here. Drink it slowly.” – She said squatting in front of him, her feet flat on the floor.

“What is it?” – He asked smelling the tea, floral, sweet.

“It will hopefully keep whoever is trying to infiltrate your mind away. You must keep drinking it, it is a potent insulator. You might feel drowsy or even intoxicated after you drink it though.”

“Oh joy… Can I have something to eat first? You always chastised me for drinking on an empty stomach…” – He smiled at her and she reached over to him, scruffing his hair. He liked it, he’d missed her, how maternal she could be at times. For all he’d missed her, he had also resented her, having more recently realised she’d withheld information and weaponised him against Bruce… Still, it felt nice to be looked after by her.

“I’ll find you something… I don’t know how we will carry enough food to feed you and Damian on our journey…” – She said, her eyes kind and familiar.

“We’ll hunt.” – He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip, burning his tongue.

“A whooly mammoth surely.” – She retorted and they both laughed.

“Where are we going?” – He asked, his tongue tingling.

“Someplace you once called home. Someplace that does not exist anymore.” – Talia responded in her usual enigmatic tone. Jason would’ve argued, asked for details but he knew better. Talia made the rules, and who was he to question her after she’d saved him. After she’d saved him twice. 

-

Alex was uncomfortable. She ran hotter than most but the heating in her dorm room was busted and Gotham’s temperatures were dropping fast these days. She was trying to do some reading for class but couldn’t keep her mind from wandering. She had been staring at a spot on the wall for minutes when she heard a knock on her window. Tim was on the other side, hunched over signalling for her to open it for him. She got up, leaving the blanket she’d had draped over her back on the chair and opened up the window for him.

“Get in fast! It’s too cold!” – She complained pulling him in. He was pulled inside and fell onto her bed, bouncing on the spring mattress with force.

“Hey careful! I’m carrying fragile objects!” – He replied laughing at her annoyance while he removed his gloves, biting one of them off. She slammed the window shut and turned around hugging herself. – “Here, you left these at Park’s, thought you wouldn’t want to go back on the weekend to get them once you noticed you’d forgotten them.” 

Tim had three folders and one of her notebooks in his backpack. He put them down next to him and leaned back against the wall, taking off his jacket and setting it down next to him. 

“Thanks.” – Alex said moving back to the hard chair and covering herself up with the blanket once again. 

There was a moment of silence, some awkwardness. This room was much like her own back at her father’s apartment, and yet seeing Tim there on her bed was strange and unexpected. Tim felt like he was someplace strangely familiar, objects he’d looked at for hours before were still there, but arranged differently. It was like a strange dream when places and faces change back and forth and reality is just a bit off. There was a familiarity to this, him relaxing on her bed, her across from him drawing. He didn’t realise how much he’d missed her, their friendship, until now.

“Ok hum… That was all I guess… I’ll…” – Tim started getting up but Alex had other plans.

“Stop.” – He did. – “Tim… I wanna ask you something…” – Alex said, her voice unsure. – “I need your help.”

“Yeah, of course. What do you need?” – He asked relaxing back against the wall, a hand folded over his stomach and the other supporting the back of his head.

“Hum… Okay…. How do I say this…” – Alex got up and started pacing the room. “So… A lot has happened and I really… I’m not doing so good.” – She stopped and stared at him, he wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I mean, what do you mean? Like… I mean I get it but, what’s wrong?” – Tim felt like he was in uncharted territory, Alex had gone through so much without him he wasn’t sure how she’d been dealing with it. Seemed like she hadn’t really, like she’d been distracting herself.

“I freeze. I… I don’t know what to call it, but I freeze, and I sweat and my heart races and I throw up so much some days you have no idea, and I get stuck seeing things again seeing… I’m a danger to myself and to others like this.” – Tim changed positions, leaning forward and staring at her with compassion, he knew what she was describing of course.

“I mean… Yeah that, that tracks Alex…”

“I want you to help me fix it.” – She said confidently.

“Fix it?” – He asked confused.

“I need you to… Desensitize me… It’s, it’s mostly guns… I want you to help me get over my fear of guns.”

“Alex… I mean, it sounds like you need therapy or…” – Alex interrupteed him shoving a finger in his face.

“Don’t give me that bullshit! When you or Nightwing or Batman get traumatised are you telling me you go to a shrink?” 

“Ugh… No… But, why would you want to do things the Batman way? I mean… You went through traumatic stuff, there’s nothing wrong with taking it easy and getting help…”

“Please Tim. Please… You always have everything under control…” – She sat down next to him on the bed, leaning against the wall and looking at him by her side. – “I have nothing… Nothing under control, not even myself… Nothing in my life… I can’t hold anything long enough before it all spirals out of my reach and I am left standing there like an idiot with no control over any of it… I need this… I need some control back, I need to be in control of myself…”

It hurt Tim to hear her say it, it hurt him because he cared so deeply about her and it hurt him to see his friend was hurting and he hadn’t been there for her. A part of him felt happy tough, happy she sought him out now. 

Better late than never… – He thought.

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Well… I need you to torture me until it’s not torture anymore.” – She said and smiled that mischievous smile of hers he hadn’t seen in so long. He laughed but a chill went down his spine, he knew she was serious, he knew what she wanted and he knew how to give it to her and it made him antsy.

-

“Wait! Wait! Hang on!” – Alex shouted out of breath, she’d spotted Batman a few blocks back and ran to catch him. He’d been swinging between the buildings of East Park Avenue and had finally landed on one and was about to jump off to the next when Gotham Girl caught up to him.

Batman stopped, knowing it was Alex before turning around to face her. She was leaning over, one hand on her knee, holding a small statue with a green question mark in the other by her hip, catching her breath. Her Gotham Girl suit on for the first time in months.

“Wait… Fuck me you’re fast…” – She complained.

“Gotham Girl, what are you doing here?” – He asked walking up to her.

“Trynna catch you big dog… Phew, ok here you go.” – She straightened up and handed him the riddler trophy. – “It’s the last one, the last question is at the bottom I don’t know what it means but there you go.” 

“Why… How do you have this? Why do you have this? Why are you out here?” – He asked. 

It was the first time she’d ever talked to Batman and felt like she knew much more than him, it felt good.

“Guy who puts them out for you, he’s a buddy of mine… He had another like 5 to set up before that one with the final clue or whatever but his girl asked him out so he hit me up to get rid of it so he could go.” 

“Thank you. How did you find me?” – He asked.

“Robin taught me a thing or two.” – She said smiling.

“Which one?”

“... All of them?” – Batman smiled at her response.

“Didn’t think you were wearing the suit these days…I heard you asked for help.” – He asked, unsure how he felt about her being out as Gotham Girl. He knew Tim was helping her overcome her trauma, it had been a good choice, one he agreed with. She was a danger to herself and others in a panicked state considering her strength.

“Well I couldn’t run after Batman in Crime Alley with a riddler trophy on my hands could I? Had to dust off the cobwebs for you… It’s going right back into the attic now don’t worry about it.”

“Why?” – He asked, instigating her.

“Why? Are you seriously asking me why? Cause I’m… I’m at disaster at this. Gotham Girl I mean.” – She paused. Batman stared at her, waiting for her to go on, she did.

“I mean… It was never about the crime fighting, I wanted to do something different, I wanted to be a community symbol… How self engrandising to want to be like you or Robin or Batwoman… No, I wanted to carry on what I did at Park’s… But then shit hit the fan and then I thought maybe I could actually do something more… And then shit hit the fan again except this time I wasn’t just a normal person with slightly better agility and balance – I have fucking powers and I couldn’t stop shit from happening… No matter how much I’ve done or how strong I’ve become, I keep finding myself in situations where it doesn’t even matter! I’m caught by surprise and then fuck me being strong enough or turning literally invisible… I went through hell and the outcome is still the same…” – She stopped and caught her breath. – “The outcome is still me, shaking, crying, and death all around me.”

Batman walked up to her, standing close and put a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve failed more times than I like to recount. No matter how much I’ve done for this city, for its people… I’ve failed too and it is hard to think of the good when the bad is…  so bad. I didn’t save Jason. I didn’t stop the Joker from hurting Batgirl. Tim has gotten hurt so many times… I had to change him out of his Robin suit on a sidewalk to carry him in to the hospital when he was shot on the neck. He almost bled out. Nightwing almost died… You…I’ve failed my city, and I’ve failed my family. But I have also saved them. I will never forgive myself for the times I didn’t, but I have to remind myself of the times I did so that I can do it again. You saved Jason from the hounds, you saved Tim from Goliath and the explosion, and you saved Damian from being taken by the doc. Some of those you did with powers, some you did without. You’re a good person Alex. You’ve done good things with and without powers. You didn’t have a choice about this, and I am deeply sorry about that… But you have a choice now about who you want to be. You can be the Gotham Girl who helps in the soup kitchen and ‘redistributes wealth’...  Although I’d advise against the latter… You can also be the Gotham Girl who fights a bigger fight, who uses her new abilities to overpower evil. You can also be Alex, architect and idealist, taekwondo teacher, friend and family. You can also be a combination of them all. Kate said once that is your strength, that there is no separation between Alex and Gotham Girl. That is… Something I’ve struggled with myself, something you should be proud of.”

Alex had listened attentively. She had never imagined herself in a situation like this, getting parental advice from Batman. She felt comforted, his words put many of her spiralling thoughts into perspective and she felt like she could think more clearly for the first time in a while. It had also felt nice to hear about Kate’s thoughts about her. Batman was kind, understanding, she could see how he’d ended up adopting so many kids.

“I keep forgetting you’re a dad you know? Which is funny cause all I do is hang out with your sons.” – They smiled at each other, Alex thought back to all the times Batman had been there for her in the past year or so. She’d felt safe knowing he was out there, always a step ahead. Park might be gone, but she wasn’t alone. Batman would always be looking out for Gotham.

Chapter Text

The air was chill and refreshing out on the poarch. Jason leaned back against a supporting beam and lit up a cigarette. He relaxed instantaneously and felt awful about it. They’d been travelling for days to get here, a mix of hiking and driving, leaving the more forest dense areas of Mongolia for desert stretches that went as far as the eye could see, mountains with snowy tops dotting the horizon. They’d reached the home of a member of the league, hidden away on one such snowy mountain. It was a wild goose chase, information was scarce but everyone knew something was happening. People were disappearing, connections broken and anyone attuned to magic felt it. 

Jason had been in a state of near drunkenness most of the time due to the Talia’s magic tea. It worked, he didn’t get the headaches or visions anymore, but he also felt like shit. His balance was off, his stamina gone, his stomach cried out for no more of that sickly sweet liquid. He wondered if that’s what he had been so afraid of, the sensation that his friend had been running away from that had led to their fight and Jason’s move to Metropolis. He’d been yearning a cigarette for days, only getting some now from his kind host… What had he felt like those days when Jason was around and he had to hide his use… He missed Roy, and he regretted how they’d left things off. He also regretted how he left things off with Alex, not having told her he loved her back when he’d had the chance…

“Finally something that doesn’t reek, give me one of those.” – Damian said joining him on the poarch and enjoying the scent of clover.

“Now, I was joking when I said Bruce would kill me… But Talia will kill me”

“Don’t worry about it.” – He responded taking the pack from Jason’s pocket.

“You know, it’s cute when Alex says that, when you do it it’s just annoying… Obnoxious really…”

“Whatever…” – Damian said shrugging his shoulders, Jason leaned in and lit the cigarette for him with a match.

“It’s gonna be rough from now on isn’t it?” – Jason asked, he hadn’t been privy to the meetings where Talia was drawing their plans, too risky for him to know anything in advance in case their enemies got a hold of him and they lost the element of surprise.

“Yeah… We’ll be on foot only.” – Damian didn’t cough or choke, instead he enjoyed the relaxing feeling the cigarette gave him.

“I’m worried about her…” – Jason said looking out at the beautiful scenery, wishing Alex was there to see it. She’d never left the country, Metropolis was the furthest she’d ever gotten from home. Jason remembered there was a time he was the same.

“She’s fine.” – Damian said assertively.

“You sound so sure… She’s all alone, she was stressed with college… Shit what about Park’s? Fuck… This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.” – He put down the cigarette and combed his fingers through his hair, interlocking his hands behind his head and closing his eyes, he was tired but he didn’t want to sleep.

“She’s fine. She’ll figure it out, she always does. She’s a better fighter than you know. Besides, what’s the worse she could get herself into now?”

-

The bang came faster this time, she knew she couldn’t anticipate it but it was human nature to try and find a pattern. Tim was trying to break that, he had programmed the gun so it would shoot at random. No preparation, no warning, just the loud echoing bang.

“Good. You barely responded.” – He said sitting in front of her on the ground watching the screen on his laptop measuring Alex’s heart activity. – “Try to think of it now, think of the alley, what did it look like? What did it smell like? Get yourself in there…” – He said watching her.

Alex was sitting on the floor, trying to ground herself. The goal was to think back on the night of the ambush and not lose her calm, even with a random gun shooting blanks across the room from them. They’d started slowly, getting her used to handling weapons again, since it had seemed her anxiety didn’t spike as much when she was the one holding a gun. She’d done great, and then they’d removed all control. It was hell, but it was a hell worth going through – she hoped. The next shot came sooner than either of them expected, surprising both. 

“That was too much, focus.” – Tim said looking at her with worry. He worried he was pushing too hard, but she’d get angry if he’d slow down.

“I was thinking of Jason…” – She said. She was worried about him, worried about him and Damian. She hadn’t heard from them at all since they’d left.

“Don’t. Think of Gregg.” 

“I’m tired Tim.” – Bang, another one.

“That was good, stable.” – He focused on the screen. – “Just a little more, you’ve done good progress today.”

“No. Enough, I had a long day.” – Alex crawled over and closed the laptop. – “I’m feeling dizzy.”– She laid flat against the floor, the room spinning.

“It’s the breathing I taught you, you’re not supposed to do it non-stop you know? It’ll cut off too much oxygen if you slow it down for too long.” “Tim… You think Damian and Jason are alright?” 

“I hope so… They are. They’re some of the world’s best fighters and they’re with Talia and the League… You think they’re messing around? Come on…They’ll be alright.”

-

30 kilometers. 30 goddamn kilometers since morning and they still had another 30 to go before the spot Talia wanted them to make camp in.

30 fucking kilometers in the sun and this son of a bitch won’t shut the fuck up. – Damian thought.

Damian couldn’t stand it anymore. Talia was walking ahead of them, much faster. It was Damian’s job to look after his brother, make sure he was walking in a straight line. That was no trouble, Jason was doing good for the most of it. If only he didn’t feel a need to fill the neverending silence of the arrid landscape they found themselves in.

“... And the thing is she feels so bad for not being there as much anymore but she is! The other weekend she spent over an hour at the Castle chatting to people there and she didn’t even have her suit on, just Alex and she didn’t even care if anyone noticed cause she missed it so bad…  – Jason had been talking, mostly about Alex and Roy, for hours. 

The tea worked, but his nights were far from easy. His dreams were now filled with horrors of his own making, nightmares of Alex being taken by the Joker and tortured like he’d been tortured. It would replay in his mind every night and he couldn’t escape it. He worried about her, about how scary his departure must’ve been for her… He couldn’t help but think of her. He tried to fill the waking hours with good thoughts though, memories. Damian on the other hand had to not only deal with Jason’s nightmares but also his day time ramblings. Jason had woken up in a sweat and screaming the last few nights they’d been sharing a tent. Damian yawned thinking about another night with his restless brother.

“I can’t do it anymore.” – Damian stopped dramatically, unsheathing the sword from his back.  – “If you will not stop your wining and moaning… I will kill myself.” – He got on his knees, Talia saw them from a distance and shouted for them to keep up and to stop messing around. Jason was laughing hard, struggling to keep his balance.

“Sorry sorry, I’ll behave… It’s my fault I can’t help it…” – He said wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

“You are right… It is yout fault. I should kill you instead!” – Damian ran into Jason with immense power and the two tumbled down the side of the path they were on, rolling in the dirt until they reached the bottom of a small slope.

They landed by a creek, sheltered by some trees and stoney walls, a small oasis from the dusty roads they’d been travelling on. Damian landed on top of Jason, Jason had ensured he would, holding him down and laughing. Jason looked around him and shushed Damian.

“Shh… Look over the creek, by that rock there…” – Damian let go and the two sat by each other and watched a huge bird of prey standing on a large rock eating a rabbit as they’d done many times before over the years when they’d been together at the league. Jason hadn’t known that much about animals, but Damian loved them, every species, big and small. Jason would distract him back then from messy dealings and executions by making him focus on any animal they could spot, quizzing him on them.

“What type of hawk do you think that is?” – Damian asked fascinated by the bird, quizzing his older brother instead.

“A hawk? No… That’s a Roc…” – Jason replied.

“A Roc….” – Damian whispered… He remembered being told the stories of the mythical bird, so big and strong it could carry elephants to its home in the seas of China. Jason had heard some of the stories as well, at least the times Talia had recounted them in english before his arabic improved.

There was something about the bird… Imponent, strong, dignified. It perched in such an elegant way as it tore through the rabbit, its talons sharp and shiny. It was a great east asian hawk for sure, not the mythological Roc. But the mention stirred something within Damian. He who’d been called Robin, a name given to him that he’d tried to claim for himself with talons as sharp as the beast’s own, a name he’d found discontent with, a name that did not reflect his true lineage, heritage and stature… A name that had been created for someone else. He wasn’t a Robin– he was a subject of middle eastern folklore, the great grandson to the great Ra's Al Ghul, a lineage spanning centuries and multiple countries. From the Caspian to the Chinese Sea, like the Roc he too had flown from the hot days in the deserts of Saudi Arabia to humid nights in Shanghai, carrying burdens as heavy as elephants since he’d been born. 

“What are you thinking of?” – Jason asked seeing how lost in thought Damian was staring at the beast.

“I’m… I have an idea…” – Damian said quietly, his bright green eyes widem youthful, and inspired.

-

“This was a terrible idea.” – Tim said struggling to hold his ice cream cone while wearing thick gloves.

“You were the one who came up with it!” – Alex said, her tongue was tingling but her hands were fine, she ran hotter than most since the Red-K changed her.

“As a joke! I said you could have ice cream if you behaved as a joke!” – Tim responded laughing.

“Well, too late for that! You promised me ice cream and now we’re having ice cream.” 

Tim and Alex were spending their days together just as they had back when they’d first reconnected, when they’d met each other again not as Tim and Alex, but as Red Robin and Gotham Girl. It had been summer in Gotham, everything was different then. They were now sitting on a bench outside Alex’s favourite ice cream shop, freezing. The place didn’t sell much ice cream during winter, mostly coffee and cakes but Alex had insisted they go. Tim’s help was what she’d needed, but it was hard. Her mind understood everything she’d gone through, she understood what she felt and why she felt it, she just couldn’t control how she felt it. Tim was changing that, Tim was helping her feel in control of herself.

“I can’t believe you called me Alexandra when you picked Damian up that day…” – Alex joked, she could barely taste the strawberry ice cream because of how cold it was.

“I was undercover! I hoped you wouldn’t recognise me!” – Tim replied back, giving up on his cone and throwing it away on a bin next to him and blowing air onto his hands, wishing he had his robin gloves on, he never felt cold with his suit on.

“How could I not recognise you? You were like, one of my best friends…” – Alex’s cheeks were red. Tim looked at her eyes, brown… He remembered how golden they used to look on days like this, cold and sunny, bright.

“I missed you…” – He said smiling, Alex smiled back.

“You disappeared for years… But of course I remembered you, I missed you so much… We all did…” – Alex said. Tim’s eyes were watery from the cold, Alex noticed the beautiful blue in them, that color she could never replicate in her drawings.

“I meant now… When I was with the titans… I liked it there with them, I liked leading them and all but… I really enjoyed that time before I fucked up… When we were just hanging out at your place all the time… Just us…” – Tim had felt at home with Alex, he’d reconnected to a part of him he’d left behind a long time ago. It had been hard at first, he’d remembered being in middle school, he’d remembered his parents, his old life… Those feelings had impacted how Tim felt about Alex, she was a painful reminder of the life he used to live, the life that was taken from him and the life he carved for himself instead.

“You… You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself… I forgive you Tim, you know that, I hope you know that.” – Alex had truly forgiven Tim for not having shared Fang’s identity with her sooner, even though knowing it might’ve prevented Gregg’s death. She’d found it in her to forgive him for it. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, it had been silent, the hurt lessened and she found herself missing her friend. It would’ve been a stupid thing to let regret and anger rob her of two friends. – “I know why you did it… I wasn’t ready to deal with all that, I never was… You were trying to protect me, I get it… It sucks that what happened happend, but I get it.”

The two smiled at each other and Tim moved in closer, bumping Alex on the side. He felt relieved hearing her words, so much he struggled to figure out what to say in response. She meant the world to him afterall.

“That… That means the world to me Alex… I know I don’t deal very well with being told I’m wrong…”

“You’re the worst Tim.” – Alex interrupted, laughing.

“No hang on! I’m trying to be serious!”– Tim said struggling to keep a straight face.

“Alright alright… Go on…”

“It took guts for you to ask for help, especially after all the mean things I said to you the night the bomb went off… I think I might need to ask for some help too sometimes, I think now I could. I’ve been trying to prove myself for so long I pretend I don’t struggle all the time but Bruce knows something’s up sometimes… Bernard notices it too… And I only notice when it’s too late, when I’ve spent days in my room in the dark, either researching obsessively or just… Lying there in bed, frozen… You’re not the only one who freezes…” – Tim looked down, he was surprised he’d said all he did, surprised he’d opened up this easily. He’d avoided conversations about his mood swings and energy ups and downs with everyone in his life. Gotham Girl as usual had a way, a way of getting people to open up, a way of making them feel safe.

“And now we’re freezing together!” – Alex replied smiling wide. – “It’s ok Tim… I’ll make sure you’re not alone when you freeze, I’ll warm you up.” – She reached for his hand, he smiled at her, it was very warm.

“You done with that? Can we go back inside?” – He asked pointing at her ice cream cone.

“Yeah… This was a fun bit but even I’m getting too cold now. Maybe you can keep your brilliant ideas for yourself next time.” – Alex replied tossing the cone in the nearest bin. They walked together back to her dorm, she held his hand tightly, trying to keep him warm, joking and chatting like they did when they were kids together.

-

“This is a terrible idea.” – Kate said, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised at Tim.

“I wanna see something. She’s been doing great, she hasn’t had a panic attack in a couple weeks and her responses to being under intense stress are getting better and better… I just wanna make sure I haven’t taken it too far… I still wonder about the effect of the red kryptonite on her.”

“But why me?” 

“Well, I’ve been doing this with her for weeks and besides I’ve pissed her off enough that I don’t want to give her the option to joke around and confirm my biases. She’s been proving my paranoia wrong for a while now… I want it to stay that way.”

“Fine, but don’t blame me if things don’t go your way. She’s never been one to listen much.” – Kate got up and walked into the room where Alex was, slamming the door behind her. Tim watched them from a computer screen, not wanting to interfere in his experiment.

Alex was surprised to see Kate, not knowing she was in Gotham, nevermind the batcave.

“Kate!” – Alex exclaimed starting to get up from the uncomfortable metal chair she was sitting on.

“Don’t make a fuss, I’m not here to party with you… Yet.” – She pulled a chair across from Alex, a table between them. Parts of dissassembled guns on each side for each of them.

“I see now, Tim you’re a sick fuck did you know that?” – Alex said loudly hoping he’d hear her, of course he did and smiled on the other side of the screen.

“I assume there will be a loud buzzer or something?” – Kate asked, she was sitting back, her legs spread open.

“Nah, worse.” – Alex said. 

The lights went off, leaving them in complete darkness for a moment, just long enough to get their vision accustomed to the dark. As it came back on a gunshot was fired, alarming Kate more than Alex. With their vision adjusting to the stark brightness they began assembling the guns as fast as they could. Kate could have done this with her eyes closed, Tim knew that, and now so could Alex. His final trial would be her against herself and against her mentor, the one she’d learned most from second to Park. Gotham Girl’s Batman.

Alex finished assembling her gun first. She lifted it and aimed at Kate and hesitated. Kate didn’t, pressing her finger on the trigger as soon as she was done. There were no bullets, they both knew that, no gunpowder or nothing. The click was dry and metallic.

“Pew.” – Alex said putting the gun down on the table.

“Why didn’t you pull the trigger?” – Kate asked, a smile creeping on her face. – “You knew as well as I the gun is useless. You were faster but you lost, you hesitated.” – Alex shrugged.

“Can’t do it.”

“Not even as pretend?”

“No. Need a good enough reason for it. This ain’t it.”

“Good. Let’s get the hell out of here.” – Kate got up and signaled for Alex to follow her. Tim leaned back on his chair in the other side of the room, smiling.

-

It had been weeks, weeks of moving and walking and camping. Jason, Talia, and Damian had crossed a large extent of the country by now and were closer to a village where they might find some refugees. They’d been to two camps by now where they’d hoped to find members of the All-Caste. Instead all they found was destruction.

It was night now, they were sitting around a bonfire, the nights getting colder as time dragged on. Jason had no clue how long they’d been going, he struggled to keep track of time. He was struggling to eat and drink water, throwing up any liquid except the disgusting tea Talia insisted he had regularly. He was resting, writing down on a diary, as he had almost every night. He’d been writing letters to himself, to Alex, to Roy, to Bruce. He wasn’t going to send them, it was more a way to process his thoughts about them as he found himself so distant from home. 

Damian was lying on a mat, his head resting on Talia’s lap. She spoke in a mix of english and arabic to him, her voice soft but deep. 

“You’ve grown so tall and strong my son… Who is it that’s been watering you?” – She asked while playing with his hair, Damian had missed this. He’d missed his mother despite having initially felt betrayed by her abandoning him with Bruce all those years ago. He found immense comfort in her voice, her touch, her scent. It was home.

“Someone with a really green thumb.” – Jason said mindlessly. He looked  down at his notes, doodles of bats filled his page, he groaned and closed the notebook. He slept a little better that night.

-

They were relieved to find the village they had been traveling to was not destroyed like the ones before, but was instead alive and filled with people. Talia met with a member of the All-Caste Jason hadn’t known previously. He’d insisted in participating but she’d forbade him. The truth is Talia knew enough by now to know who was behind the attacks, and she didn’t know how to deliver that information to Jason. She would at the right time, but she knew she’d need proof or to prime him well enough to realise the one he thought had saved him, the one he had seen dead in his dreams was the orchestrator of a great coup against her own, a slaughter.

Jason had pretended to obey but had listened in on the encounter. He’d struggled to understand them, the noise of a street market jumbling his hearing. What he made up wasn’t much, the man had retold an attack he’d heard of, he himself not having witnessed the group and their destruction. What Jason marked was the man’s description of white smoke preceding the attacks.

He’d believed since the attack on him and Tim that Essence, his old friend and lover had saved them. He wondered now whether it was possible it had been someone posing as her. It couldn’t have been her, she’d never turn on her own like this. It also didn’t explain his visions, his nightmares where she would often feature in, dead or dying. He felt confused, not sure what to make of what he heard.

-

Damian spent the day with an assassin who helped him fashion a new suit. He would have to eventually ask Lucius for help making it Gotham-proof, but this would do for now. Dark fabrics wrapped his torso in diagonal lines, the fastenings were chinese knot buttons, made of cloth the same color as the fabric of the garment, a dark grey. On the chest sat a new symbol, his new identity. The arabic script for Roc  رخ , inside a circle, the c shaped bottom of the script serving as the round upper part of a mirrored letter R, drawn the way he’d had the R in his Robin suit: with pointed edges that poked through the outer circle. It was something new, something uniquely his and he’d felt excited seeing the man bring his vision to life. 

They were relieved to have beds to sleep on that night, Jason and Damian still having to share the space much to Damian’s despair. 

It happened again, Jason had fallen asleep hard and fast as he usually did, eventually stirring awake from a nightmare, his cries like howling, waking Damian up. This time he’d seen Alex studying, drawing, and reading, and listening to music in her dorm until she’d be dragged away by Joker’s henchmen. He’d seen her sitting on a chair in the middle of an empty room with a dark bag over her head, being beat mercilessly with a crowbar. He’d woken tormented by her screams and pleads, her calling out for Batman ringing in his years.

“Again?” – Damian said sitting up, seeing Jason stand up and walk over to the window, sticking his head out for fresh air.

“Yeah… Same thing… I’m sorry this is really annoying.” – Jason’s hands were shaking more than usual, his throat dry.

“Yeah it is but what are you gonna do about it? You’re not the only one traumatised by your own death, I’ve dealt with this before.” – Jason turned to face Damian, it was dark but he could see his outline sitting on his bed.

“What do you mean?” – That did it, drew his attention hard enough his breathing slowed.

“I know you think life just moved on like normal after you died but you’ve been haunting Bruce since that day, not since you came back to Gotham you know? Hell, you’ve been haunting everyone. Your death had an impact on everyone. You’re such an idiot, just because he didn’t go through with killing the Joker you think he didn’t care? That no one cared? You have any idea how often Bruce called Tim by your name? Dick’s never been the same, fuck even my life was changed by your death and I wasn’t even there! Steph, Cass, Duke, Jon, Alex… It wasn’t just your death either that changed everything. What Robin do you think she saw swinging outside her window? Kicking the asses of the scummiest men of Crime Alley while she still had a hello kitty sticker on her yellow belt? It wasn’t Tim, he was too busy following you around, idealising you! I knew you and then I went to Gotham and saw the wreckage your death left on every single one of them, so yeah, I’ve dealt with this before.”

“Well fuck me.” – Was all Jason could say, having snapped out of the anxiety the nightmare had brought him. “Damian…”

“What?” – He asked having already tucked himself back in.

Jason ran up to Damian and hugged him tight, messing up his hair by holding the back of his head with one hand.

“You’re turning out the best of any of us, you know that?”

“That was inevitable.” – He replied trying to release himself from his brother’s grip.

Jason felt a pit in his stomach. Damian had grown so much but he still saw him as the kid he’d met fresh off the Lazarus Pit, the kid he’d tried to shelter from the craziness of the League. He thought of the meeting he’d eavesdropped earlier that day. If it was true, if Essence and other magic users were behind this he didn’t want Damian there. Damian was a skilled fighter, maybe one of the best in the world, but this was magic and the destruction they’d seen so far made him believe none would hold back. Damian would never give up on a mission, but he might take a new one on at his behest.

“Damian… Would you go back to Gotham for me?” – He asked tentatively.

“What the hell are you talking about?” – Damian replied in an annoyed tone.

“Would you go and look after Alex?”

“Did I say something that bad you wanna get rid of me?”

“No. You’re the only one I trust to keep an eye on her. I’m losing my mind here…” – It was true, he worried about Alex, but he also knew Damian would be safer away from him. He hoped he was right, that Damian could never refuse a mission such as this, to keep someone Jason loved safe.

“Ugh… Fine, but you’ll explain it to mother.”

“Deal.”

-

They snuck out at dawn, meeting with an Assassin who could get Damian home. Talia knew, having herself eavesdropped on their conversation.

“What makes you think you have any authority to send my son away?” – She asked Jason as he watched the plane Damian was on take off.

“He wouldn’t have left if he didn’t want to, I just gave him the option.” – Jason said leaning against a wood beam on the poarch, his  forehead pressed against his forearm.

“You are afraid.” – She said reading him.

“Only an idiot wouldn’t be and you know it.”

“It still gives you no right.”

“You sent him away once for his safety, I made the choice easier for you this time.” – He expected a slap on the face or another annoyed response, instead he got Talia’s hand on his shoulder.

“I miss him.”

“You can always come to Gotham you know?”

“As much as it pains me to say, after the last few weeks together, I believe he is better off without me.”

Chapter Text

Alex had been hugging the toilet for some time now, her cheek flat against the seat. She felt awful. Her head was pounding, she had cold sweats and felt like she would blackout at any second – The outcome of partying with Kate Kane. She lifted herself to retch one final time, her body wanting her to purge her of all the mixed alcohols she’d consumed the night before but nothing came out. She got up with difficulty and washed her face, her makeup smeared and messy.

Kate was still on the bed she’d dragged Alex to at some point in the early morning, complaining about a siren going off in the street. Alex sat down on her side of the bed, holding on tightly to the bed sheet, her feet planted flat on the ground. It was the first night she’d spent back at Kate’s place since Jason had been taken. She’d been dropped off at her dad’s place by Batman and spent the last few weeks at her dorm, only stopping by to grab things she’d left behind. It felt odd being there, she’d come to see the place as home when Jason and Damian were living there, now she just felt like an outsider crashing in a hotel room again.

“Do you have any painkillers? My head is going to burst if this fucker doesn’t shut his car up!” – Kate complained while still lying down, her red hair a furious mess on the white pillow Jason used to hug tightly after Alex would leave him to go to class.

“Yeah, Jason takes them by the handful. I’ll go get us both some.” – Alex said quietly, her own voice too loud for her. Before she got up she noticed a crumpled piece of paper on her nightstand. She opened it and saw a phone number, no name, just an R. on the bottom of the note. – “What’s this? You picking people up when in Gotham?” – Alex asked turning to show the paper to Kate.

“Don’t you go accusing me of anything, that was all you, girlfriend.”

“What?” – Alex was confused, she struggled to remember the night before but she didn’t remember flirting with anyone. Dancing on top of tables, sure, drenching herself in champagne and taking off her top, absolutely, but getting guys’ phone numbers? That was too far.

“It was the ginger cutie, he was obsessed with you, kept trying to talk to you but you were having none of it. He gave me the number and said you should call… He said it was important but I don’t know, he looked wasted.” – Alex seemed to remember snippets of that, but couldn’t remember a name or what he’d asked her, only that he’d followed her around for some time, trying to get her attention.

Alex walked to the living room, struggling to adjust to the brightness. It was a cloudy day but the sky was a bright white shade and it hurt her eyes to look outside. She chugged water from the sink and dug through Jason’s painkiller box, he had a bit of everything there. He’d struggled with the headaches for long enough to be almost constantly taking something for them, but he’d also gotten hurt bad over the years and the body remembers.

The apartment was quiet, it was early afternoon. Alex found what she was looking for and as she made her way back with the tablets and a bottle of water for the two she was caught with the distinct feeling that she wasn’t alone. She froze and waited, trying to spot any intruders but there was nothing. There was no one in the apartment. 

Give Kate the painkillers and get out…  – She thought, not wanting to spend any more time there. A haunted place.

-

Bruce was walking down the corridor full of empty rooms. Tim was with Bernard, Dick was in Bludhaven, Damian and Jason were… He didn’t know. He’d managed to track their movements for about a week but he had now lost them. He walked down the corridor with his mind somewhere else. He’d been busy with the Justice League as of late, having spent little time in Gotham. Too little time in Gotham. He walked past Damian’s room and was caught by surprise seing a silhouette in the room, the door half open. He stopped and moved in, noticing what had surprised him most wasn’t that there was someone in his son’s room, but that the person in there was taller and bigger than he’d expected. The intruder was not an intruder, it was Damian embracing his cat, petting it and speaking to it in a low voice.

“Damian…” – Bruce said entering the room.

“Father.” – He dropped the cat and they stood looking at each other. 

“You’re back… Is Jason…?” – Bruce asked standing planted where he was. 

“He’s with Talia. He sent me back.” – Damian responded. He felt an urge to move closer, to hug his father but felt somewhat inhibited from doing so. He’d been harsh when they’d spoken about Robin and then he’d left with his mother. He expected Bruce to be angry. Why wasn’t he angry?

“Roc…” – Bruce said reading the new symbol on Damian’s chest. His son looked regal in his new suit, the fabrics were heavy and of good quality. The emblem stitched with precision, the design elegant – It matched Damian. It suit him so well Bruce thought. He looked a lot like Talia, especially with the tanner skin he had now after weeks spent in the desert. Most of all he appreciated the letter R– backwards but a part of the image nonetheless, at the heart of the arabic script. 

“Yeah… Roc…” – Damian replied with a bit of a shy tone, unsure how Bruce would react to his new identity. 

Bruce moved quickly and grabbed his son, hugging him tightly and desperately, one hand supporting the back of his head. He’d missed him, he’d worried. Damian was surprised by the gesture but soon found himself hugging his father back, finding solace in his embrace, his smell familiar and comforting.

“It suits you.” – Bruce said pulling away from the hug, admiring his son with a new set of eyes. – “I did my best…” – He said gesturing at Damian’s pets.

“They’re fat. You overfed them.” – Damian responded pointing at one of his salamanders.

“Alex might be somewhat to blame for that, she snuck in to feed them a few times. She disapproved of the diet plan I had them on. She spoke to them you know? Apologising for my stinginess with snacks.” – He chuckled saying that, Damian smiled.

“I’m glad you’re back, Damian.” – Bruce said sitting down on a desk chair, Damian moved and sat on the edge of his bed. They both sat in the same way, leaning forwards and their heads resting on fists. – “I wish you hadn’t left.” 

“I had to. Not because of Jason or even my mother. I had to leave Gotham.” – His tone was serious. 

“Why?” 

“Because I wouldn’t have known how much I wanted to be here unless I left.” – Bruce couldn’t help but smile at that. – “I needed… I needed to find something, a part of myself I’d forgotten. I buried so much when I came here you know? I wanted to be… I wanted to be your Robin so bad, I wanted to be like Dick, like Tim, but I was always working against myself and burying all the things that weren’t Robin. It didn’t work… It took me a long time to understand all the ways in which the League broke me. I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to be with my mother, I wanted to be back with the League but… How could I… How can I miss something thay was so awful? Talia was a good mother sometimes, I miss her still, she’s my mom… But I also feel so much anger towards her sometimes. I also hated you. I hated you for being Batman and my father, it was confusing.” – He paused. 

“She is your mother Damian, an unconventional one for sure but… She still loves you and cares for you, so much it makes her push you too hard. As for the League… It was all you knew, of course you would miss it…” – Bruce thought this day might come, the day Damian would start understanding how he’d been robbed of a childhood. 

“I was an Assassin and I was raised to be… Too much. But I was also a kid. I didn’t let myself see it because I just didn’t allow myself but I was a kid who dreamt and played too sometimes. Jason helped, he was a kid too when Talia brought him. I needed to remember that. I needed to remember the person I was when I was messing around with my brother, the person I was before I was the son of Batman or the heir to the Al-Ghuls. I feel bad for feeling this way though, for feeling anger towards Talia, towards you, It’s not right… I feel so angry but I have you two, my parents are alive and I yet sometimes all I feel is this anger that you’re not… You’re not always my parents. I’m sorry…”

“You… You have every right to feel this way Damian… I know it’s been hard, I know there have been times I haven’t been there for you in the ways you needed me to. I’m sorry for that too. I can never give you back the time you lost, and I can’t change the way Talia has raised you… But this can be a new chapter for you, this can be a new chapter for us if you want it to be.” – Bruce looked at his son with kind eyes, pained eyes. He regretted having put the mantle first so many times, and most of all he regretted having let Damian’s front of maturity justify his dismissal of his son’s need for a parent.

“I… I think I would like that… I’m sorry I can’t be your Robin.” – Damian looked down, it was hard to see Bruce being so vulnerable.

“Didn’t I do it? Carve, search, and create relentlessly? I forget too often what I was like at your age… All the ways I was determined like Tim to the point of crashing and burning, the ways I was driven by my emotions like Jason and quick to act on them, and the way I tried to find myself between who I had been and what I wanted to be, just like you. I want you to have the same freedom I had to choose. I’ve made the mistake of pushing a mantle onto people who didn’t need it before, and ignored the ones who wanted it. I am sorry if… If you felt like you needed to be Robin.”

“I wanted it. But I hope you don’t… Resent me for not wanting it anymore.”

“No. You don’t have to be Robin, you can just be my son. That’s enough.” 

The two sat together for some time, the cat jumping on Bruce’s lap, cozying up to him and licking his hand. It was sundown in Gotham, the temperatures were freezing but inside Damian’s room the atmosphere was warm and inviting.

-

Jade’s apartment looked different now than it had over a year ago when Alex had been here with Tim. For one it was empty, only Jade and Alex sat there together on Jade’s couch Alex held onto a cup of tea tightly, she still felt woozy from her night out with Kate and Jade had been kind enough to make her a cup of tea full of honey.

They had been talking for some time. Alex tried to keep an eye on things whenever she felt bad about not going out as Gotham Girl anymore. Jade knew her, knew Gotham Girl was Alex. It was her first time opening up to Jade about why she’d stepped away from the Iceberd though, it was her first time opening up about how it was harder to live a double life now. She fidgeted with her necklace, rubbing the small meteorite between her fingers.

“The girls miss you Alex, you were fun to have around, they considered you one of us… But I get it.” – Alex had pulled up her sleeve, showing the red lines that covered her body. The ones on her face were easier to hide, more faint in color and easily covered by makeup, but the rest of her wasn’t. – ”I’m sorry about it Alex… I really am…”

“It’s fine. I’m… I struggled for a minute there… I probably always will a little bit but it’s getting better, I have help.”

“I’m happy to hear you’re in school, your daddy must be proud… Bet he hated it took you this long to wise up and get your ass to a classroom.” – Jade’s tone was playful but she was right, David had wanted Alex to go to school but knew she hadn’t been ready.

“Yeah, he’s happy… I’m happy too you know? Going to school, it makes me feel hopeful you know? When I’m Gotham Girl I feel good cause I’m fixing the problem at hand right? I’m helping the soup kitchen stay open by stealing from rich cunts, and it feels good. But when I’m in school… I see a way to make sure the soup kitchen doesn’t even need to exist. I see how I can create spaces that will change the way people interact with the city, have everyone feel just as connected to it as I do, feel safe. I see ways to create lasting change. Gotham Girl… She’d never last… She’s just a girl right? I can’t be a girl forever.” 

“Are you done with it then? Are you done being Gotham Girl?”

“No… Not yet anyways, I think there’s still enough girlhood in me to do some good for now…”

“Park’s proud of you kid. I think that was always his plan for you, why he left you the club. The man was stubborn and proud, but he understood how change came from places like his club. He understood the change a football, or a routine, or a club can have on a poor kid, how that can change their whole life. I don’t know what his plan was for you with Gotham Girl, I know he inspired you to take on the cape and go kick ass but I don’t think that’s the legacy he was trying to build. Park wanted Alex to take over, he taught you as much as he could inside the ring and then pushed you out there when you were old enough, made you see why it mattered. I hear you speak now and I am sure he’s smiling Alex, his time might’ve been cut short but you got it. You got the time, the focus, the drive. You have a whole life ahead of you to change this city.”

“Shit… You always put way too much trust in me you know that right?” – They laughed.

“I do, I trust you. I also trust your friend, Red Hood. He’s been real good to this place you know? He’s a bit… Different from you… But man does he get the job done!”

“He’ll be back soon… It’s all a bit much to explain but he’ll be back…” – Alex sipped the warm tea seeking comfort, she hated remembering she was alone and that he was half a world away.

“You know… He took over for you for a minute there when you were in trouble… Any chance you could do him the same?” – Jade asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well… When you put it like that… What do you need to get done?” – Alex put the mug down on the coffee table she’d scribbled her first plans of how to infiltrate the Iceberg and smiled at Jade, ready to do whatever her friend asked of her.

-

The wind was strong outside, Jason’s untrimmed hair getting in his face. He was on his knees, leaning over a rock. He’d been out there for a while, the sun rising now. He’d woken up from another bad dream and run outside, unable to keep his dinner down. The tea was becoming harder and harder to stomach, he’d struggled to keep it down for the last few days and Talia was losing her patience with him. 

He was still a bit shaky, not sure whether it was because of his nightmare or because of an overall weakness of his body. 

He sat back on his knees, his arms resting beside him, heavy.

“Are you done?” – Asked Talia walking up behind him.

“I don’t feel done but there’s nothing left in me…” – He said with a strained voice, his throat hurt.

“We will be there soon, Jason. If we keep at this pace…” – Jason interrupted her.

“If we keep at this pace I’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

“Stop that.” – She walked closer to him and sat down on the rock he’d used to steady himself, looking at him. His shirt was tight against his skin, wet. – “You need to be stronger than this Jason…”

“Oh shut up.” – He tried getting up but felt dizzy, he pushed through and stood anyways. He was angry, agitated. He’d been feeling like shit for days and he saw no end to their journey. He missed home, he felt out of touch and that gave him just enough courage to confront Talia like he’d wanted to for some time. But that sentence, that sentence really did it for him. ‘You need to be stronger’... He who had lived in the streets, saw his mother die of an overdose before his eyes, he who was trained by Batman, who was kidnapped, tortured for months, killed… He who clawed his way out of his grave and went through the shock of the Lazarus Pit, he who had failed and gotten hurt and kept going. Jason had fought tooth and nail his whole life, clawed and carved and rebuilt… He would not stand by listening to Talia call him weak. He was on edge and he’d had a lot to say for some time.

“Do not speak to me like that.” – Talia replied, her eyes fiery.

“I’m tired of this and I don’t even know why I listen to you. You lie.”

“If I have lied it was to protect you.” – She said crossing her arms and legs.

“You lied about Bruce. You said he didn’t care I died, that he’d gone out and gotten himself a brand new Robin. A better Robin. You said he didn’t grieve me, you said he didn’t even care to go after the Joker. Well he didn’t go looking for a Robin, he did grieve and he did go after the Joker.” – She sat in silence for a bit and then asked.

“Are you done?”

“Is that all you have to say? Are you gonna defend yourself? Are you gonna explain why you did what you did?” – He was confused, he’d expected her to be angrier at him for blowing up at her like that.

“Jason… What do you want?” – She raised her eyebrows. – “I will not prostrate myself at your feet and ask for forgiveness for telling you you weren’t avenged. You were not avenged. I saved you, twice now, do not forget this.”

“I was so mad Talia… I… I did things, bad things… I tortured Bruce, Dick… I acted like a fucking idiot because you lit a fire in me that burned so hot I didn’t know what to do with it.”

“You were justified to demand Bruce avenge your death. He failed you twice.”

“I didn’t ask him to avenge me when I held Joker in front of him, I asked him to go against everything that makes him, that was... I didn’t need to be avenged! I needed to know he cared and it wasn’t by going on a revenge quest that I learned that. It was… It was… He showed up when I was feeling nervous... Like a stupid teenager afraid to go to a party and kiss the girl I like. You could’ve taken me to Gotham, you could’ve reunited us… Instead you weaponised me against him, why?”

“You and him are more alike than you think… I simply do not see things the way you do, Jason. Had it been Damian I would’ve killed every single man who had anything to do with it. I would not have stopped until my son was avenged.”

“I get it but… I was back, I came back… It didn’t have to be this way… Justice would’ve been… To bring me home…”

They stayed out there a while, the wind blowing strong and cold. There was no reconciling their views, Talia would never see Jason’s point, or Bruce’s for that matter. She believed there was no answer to such a crime other than to retaliate, it is how she was raised, it was her creed. Jason knew this, he didn’t expect Talia to reply, he didn’t expect her to change, but he needed her to know. He stood there in the cold wind, tired and weak and he made a choice. After all these years, after all he’d been through, he made the choice to be Bruce’s son again.

-

Alex was brushing her teeth, a towel wrapped around her head. She was finally back in her dorm and it felt good to be there. She’d spent so many hours locked up in there the last few months, studying, and drawing, and dreaming, it had become her inner world manifest. She walked out of her small bathroom and into the room and saw a silhouette on the window, a sword sticking out the back of the dark shadow. She held her breath, thinking it might be Jason, but quickly realised it wasn’t him but Damian. She ran over to the window and opened it, dragging Damian inside and hugging him tightly.

“Is he? Are you back? Is everything alright? Where’s Jason?” – She asked a million miles an hour.

“Hang on ouch!” – Damian pulled away from the hug and sat on the bed straightening his clothes. – “He’s fine but he’s not here. He’s still with Talia.” – Alex stepped back feeling disappointed. It was good to see Damian but there had been a moment there she thought this nightmare was over and everything would be back to normal.

“Why are you not with them?” – She asked sitting down by her desk.

“He sent me back. He wanted me to look after you.” – He rolled his eyes as he said it. – “I brought you this, he doesn’t know I have it.” – He handed her a small notebook, the one Jason had spent hours writing on when Damian was still with him in Mongolia.

Alex took it and inspected the journal and set it down on her desk, focusing on Damian. She wanted to flip through the journal but Damian was capturing her attention more. He looked different, his outfit new and foreign, the symbol on his chest too. His hair was longer, messier, it suited him. 

“You let him go.” – Damian said, Alex wasn’t sure what he meant by the statement.

“I didn’t want to… But…-” – Damian interrupted her.

“No… You misunderstand me… I… I am glad you did, I wanted you to feel like you could trust me in that moment and you did… It surprised me not because you didn’t fight for him, but because you had the discipline to hold back when help was to take him away from you.” – Damian looked down at his hands, sitting further back on her bed and leaning against the wall.

“It wasn’t discipline.” – Alex said, Damian felt bad staring at her, her red irises a reminder of his failure.

“What?” – Damian asked confused.

“No, it was belief in you, Damian. I believed you would be able to help him. I felt helpless and you showed up knowing what to do, I trusted you, I trust you.”

“Even after all that happened at Park’s?” – He asked with a knot in his throat. They had never really spoken about it, he’d assumed a part of her blamed him for it, hated him for how things turned out.

“Especially after what happened at Park’s. You respected my choice, you did your best to save Park and you kept him company… You kept him company when I was gone and you kept him company when he died. You’ll never know how much that means to me Damian.”

Damian was at a loss for words, he felt a relief lift off his shoulders. He’d needed to hear it, he’d needed to know she didn’t hate him. It didn’t matter how many times they’d hung out together since, worked, and eaten meals together, he hadn’t been able to forgive himself, how could she forgive him?

“You… You don’t blame me?” – He asked, his voice quiet.

“I don’t blame you for any of it, you were as much a victim of that night as Park and I. Look at me.” – She ordered and he heeded her wish. She moved closer to him, coming next to him on the bed and holding his chin up. – “Don’t ever, ever blame yourself for Park’s death or for my kidnapping, you understand me? You were the kid there Damian. Assassin, son of Batman I don’t give two fucks about it, you were the kid, you were the one who needed to be protected and you were. Park died having protected his student, I was taken in your place and for every minute I was gone I was glad it was me. Don’t insult our sacrifices. I would do it again, all of it, if it meant you walked out like you did.”

Damian had been holding his breath, he released it. His next breath in was shaky, his eyes warming up and welling with tears. Alex pulled him close for a hug and they shared each other’s embrace for a while. Damian felt a feeling he was not used to – a clean slate.

-

Alex was struggling to fall asleep after Damian left. She was happy the conversation had happened but it had forced her to think back on events she’d rather forget. Jason’s journal called to her and she couldn’t resist taking a peek.

There were personal diary entries, letters and drawings. The illustrations were rough, he did not share Alex’s or Damian’s talent for drawing but his writing was… Moving. She avoided the untitled entries, quickly finding one addressed to her from a couple weeks back. His writing was descriptive and raw, small doodles blended with bits of text. One caught her eye, a snowy mountain top at the end of the page with messy handwriting next to it:

“(...) And for every mountain I see, I am reminded of you. The streams of icy water that run down like veins feeding a body. The water sustains me as I find my way back home to you. At night I picture the same mountains and icy water turning red, images of hot lava that warm me and guide me back to Gotham. The dream of your warmth sustains me. Every river, stream, and path a reminder of you. I follow nature, I follow Gotham home.”

Chapter Text

Alex had sat in silence for some time, the grass was damp and smelled fresh. It had rained the night before. The flowers looked pretty against the gravestone, she admired the lilies she’d brought in a contemplative mood.

“Hey Park…” – She finally spoke up. – “I’ve been thinking a lot about that time you know? When I was still in school and we came up with Gotham Girl… I think I was the one who did, but I honestly can’t remember it. I was also thinking about the last time we spoke… I was so scared then… I’m not as scared anymore, I can handle myself better now. I know how much is too much. Jason helped a lot, you would’ve liked him, hell maybe you even knew him… And Tim too, Tim is always there for me even when we’re fighting… But Jason helped me train you know? I could go harder on him than on Damian, man’s a mountain.” – She laughed.

“I’m wasn’t sure what my purpose was then… I’m still figuring it out I think, but I’ve had the chance to… To do some good since then, in and out of the suit. I also got some good advice from him you know? The big bat. I think he’s biased towards who he wants me to be, think I might go with that one for now... But the reason I wanted to talk to you is cause I think I’ll try something else tonight, think I’ll dress up again and get down to work. It’s been a while but… I think it’s the right thing to do. Gotta water the plants right?”

She didn’t come to Park’s grave that often but when she did she stayed a while. She’d grown to like her break from Gotham Girl. She’d enjoyed being a student and dating Jason. She’d enjoyed training without a plan and she’d enjoyed the time she had now that she didn’t spend her nights out. It was still hard work, she was busy, and full of homework and classes to give at Park’s, but hell it was fun. The break from Gotham Girl had been good, but she’d been feeling an itch lately, she’d been missing the feeling she used to get swinging on East Park Avenue. She’d missed laying down on gargoyles and looking up at the sky, cars racing underneath her on the streets. She’d felt a part of Gotham, a part of a larger organism. She’d somewhat isolated herself from the city as of late, driving around on her motorbike instead of swinging. There had been something intoxicating about that period of her life, when she’d worked with Kate, with Selina, and Tim. 

“I don’t gotta ask for forgiveness for what I’m going to do this time, think you’d approve of it… I’ve been thinking that at some point I’ll outgrow it you know? But I think I can still be your Girl for tonight… Get some good rest Park, I’ll be catching you later.”

-

The night had started much how it used to before the last hurricane of a year. Alex gave herself time to breathe-in the night air, sweet and refreshing. Everything was different now from how it used to be back then. Alex was no longer a young girl extending her teens by running away from responsibilities to keep an eye on Crime Alley, she was much more. She was ready for this, she was ready to embrace this life again now stronger and better than ever, at least for tonight. 

She made her way to the Gotham Natural History Museum, the temperatures dropped outside and in the museum the penguins had been migrating to warmer climates. Alex walked around the museum enjoying herself. She realised she hadn’t been taking full advantage of the fact she could turn invisible as she effortlessly pranced around the building. The faint red smoke that would show up in her place would dissipate quickly, leaving her able to roam freely. She listened in on conversations, followed people and ultimately ended up right outside the Penguin’s new lair. The office was tucked behind a long hall with all sorts of stuffed animals, it was a bit unsettling. There were few lights in the building, the animals cast long shadows. Alex had to be careful not to bump into anything. She waited around by the door for a while.

Meanwhile, Tim was on the other side of the city. They figured if they wanted to work together they should probably split up. For all the times they’d worked well together they’d also caused chaos and ended up fighting each other on and off. Better to keep Robin and Gotham Girl separate and let Tim and Alex protect their friendship.

Tim had been trying to track Melissa for months now since the breakout on the night of the Dodge shootout. He’d been unsuccessful so far, Melissa had disappeared. That was until a few weeks ago when him and Batman intercepted a truck being loaded off of one of the Penguin’s warehouses at the Bowery. Inside the truck was Little Death, straight from Edge City. The shootout might’ve taken out the two most senior members of the family, but they were not the only ones. Whether Melissa was behind the reappearance of LD in Gotham was still a mystery though. 

Tim had been setting up explosives all over the warehouse for the last hour or so, just enough to destroy most of the product and send out a warning. He’d also been investigating, trying to find any clues as to who was now running the Dodge clan. He didn’t get much except for managing to intercept a phone call incoming to one of the offices in the warehouse. The man on the line sounded relaxed, lazy even. There was no indication that there was any sense of urgency in handling this shipment. The Penguin had bought it all and would distribute it as he saw fit, the Dodges had done their part of the deal and were calling in to thank the Penguin for his business, except of course they’d reached a random street thug securing the plant instead – that didn’t seem to bother them. The operation seemed more relaxed and messier than what he’d witnessed before, whoever was running this clearly didn’t have the bite of the previous Dodges.

Tim emptied the warehouse, luring the last few men out and fighting them as explosions went off in the background. Batman sometimes questioned Tim’s affinity for explosives but he managed them responsibly enough. Tim was in his element, enjoying a bit of solo work before meeting up with Batman later.

“All clear GG, give him hell.” – He said swinging away from the scene, a job well done. He trusted Alex, he trusted she’d know how to handle Penguin and most importantly, herself.

Alex snuck into the Penguin’s office, standing by a wall and observed him. The short man was on the phone, angry to hear about the explosions and destruction of his product. He was sitting on his desk, speaking on a chorded phone. He hung up and turned the other way, spinning in his chair to face the fireplace behind him. Alex sat on one of the chairs on the other side of his desk and waited for him to spot her. He eventually turned and screamed as he saw her sitting and smiling at him, her legs crossed.

“Argh! What the bloody hell is this?” – He asked leaning back on his chair.

“Evening Cobblepot. Cozy place you got here, fire makes it nice and warm.” – She smiled.

“What is it again… Gotham Girl? New damn one of you every bloody week!” – He pulled a cigar from a wooden box and started fidgeting with it.

“I’ve been around for a bit longer than that come on…”

“Yes you have, you thief! You’ve been at the Lounge, stolen from me!”

“Oh that’s old history Penguin come on…” – Alex reached over the table and took a cigar for herself, playing with it just as he did. 

“It’s not old to me! First you steal from me and now I have a feeling you might’ve had something to do with my warehouse blowing up.” – He dropped the cigar on his lap. Alex took her shot as soon as he looked down to pick it back up, turning invisible and moving in closer. She spun his chair with him sitting on it, bringing it closer to the fire. She spun it one more time and appeared before him as soon as the chair faced her. He shouted in surprise once more.

“Listen here you little shit. You made a deal with Red Hood, far as I know that included no Little Death would be flooding the streets of Crime Alley and yet…”

“What is this huh? You two pals or something?”

“Something like that… Just cause he’s not been around don’t think you’re off the hook Cobblepot, Crime Alley has its own defenders now. I don’t think you wanna mess with us.”

“Or what?” – He laughed. – “You’re Gotham Girl! Piss off will you kid? You got orphans to cuddle and homeless druggies to tuck in…-” – He didn’t finish his sentence, Alex grabbed his shirt by the collar and lifted him a bit, just enough so he’d look pathetic. He tried reaching for her but she hit him with a punch on his side, not too strong, not strong enough for a man as vile as the Penguin, just a warning. He cried out in pain.

“I think you misheard me. I’m with Red Hood, and we’re protecting Crime Alley from scum like you, got it? No LD, tell the Dodges to fuck off. I won’t be so nice next time.” – The man complained to get down, Alex heeded his wish, dropping him on the floor like a sack of potatoes. By the time he’d lifted himself up she was gone.

-

Jason was laying on a thin mat inside the tent he and Talia were sharing. He was feeling terrible, twisting and turning trying to sleep. He’d struggled to keep even water down for the past week, getting weaker and weaker by the day, headaches slowly creeping back up at night. Talia extended her hand and held his arm.

“It’ll be over soon Jason, we will reach the proximity of the temple tomorrow… We’re almost there…” – She’d changed the way she spoke to him after their last conversation, being more empathetic to his current suffering. It wasn’t necesseraily because of what he’d said, but because of how he looked. He’d lost a considerable amount of weight, his eyes sunken and hollowed, it reminded her of how he looked when she’d found him on the streets of Gotham. It hurt her to see him like that, she’d grown to care for Jason during those years in the league. She felt protective over him, so much she’d kept an eye on him, given him a roof over his head and money during the last couple years.

“I can’t take any more of it Talia… Not tonight, please.” – He reached for her hand and held it tightly, seeking any comfort he could get in this state.

“Shh… It’s alright Jason… Try and sleep…” – She stroked his shaky hand lovingly.

Talia heard something outside, a branch snapping.

“Shh Jason… It’ll all be alright… Listen to the night my son… Focus on the sounds of the forest…” – Jason opened his eyes and tried focusing, he could hear it too. His heart rate increased, adrenaline giving him a bit of strength.

They both started moving slowly, preparing themselves.

“I miss home, I think we should go back.” – He said, his hands growing warmer…

“I know my darling…” – Talia noticed the faint yellowy glow on the palm of his hands. – Soon enough “I’ll go ahead and you lead us back home…”

They exited the tent, Jason through the back, Talia by the front. Talia was holding two pistols, Jason had knives. They moved slowly and met with their backs to each other trying to spot anyone or anything in the darkness. Jason saw movement around bushes and prepared himself, he took a step back hoping to push Talia back. He felt her back against his and then he didn’t. Talia was gone, gone like smoke. He turned his head trying to find her but he couldn’t.

“Come on, you found us, enough!” – He shouted, his voice low and dry.

Torches lit up one by one behind bushes and in the tree line behind him. Him and Talia had been camping on a plateau on the side of a steep mountain leading to a monastery where they believed the group responsible for killing the All-Caste was hiding. The torches were beig held by shadowy cloaked figures. One by one they stepped forward, meeting him in the clearing. One of the figures moved closer than the rest, removing their hood and revealing their face – Essence.

“Hello Jason…” – She spoke, her voice just like he remembered.

“Essence… What did you do to Talia?!” – He stood at attention, ready to strike whenever.

“She’s safe… In the garden… She is not to listen to us.”

“Go on then, you wanna kill me so bad, take your best shot.” – He tried sounding tough but he felt like shit, he hoped it wouldn’t come to a fight, he’d die right there he knew it.

“Kill you? I saved you Jason, did you not recognise me? My garden?” – She looked the same and yet so different. Jason had found her beautiful once, he’d lusted after her and they’d shared many nights together. She looked like a stranger now, nothing like the woman he’d cared for. – “No… I want you to join me Jason.”

“You killed the All-Caste, you killed your family.”

“The All-Caste was corrupted, compromised. The world is changing Jason, I know you can feel it, I felt it through you. Join me.” – She extended her hand.

“That all sounds fine and good… Except I’ve got a bit of an itch whenever you’re around…” – His hands lit up, he tried to hold back, to now conjure the blades but he knew it deep inside him he was in the presence of something truly evil, Essence had committed horrible acts and he felt it, he’d seen it in his dreams, he’d seen what she’d seen..

“I do not want to fight you Jason, it would be a waste to kill someone like you. If you come willingly with me, Talia will be spared. I will explain everything to you, you will learn why I had to do what I did.”

Jason knew there was only one choice to be made. He knew the extent of Essence’s powers, he knew he was weak.

“We leave Talia here. She won’t come with us. Leave her behind and I’ll come with you willingly.” – He dropped his knives.

“As you wish.” – Essence spoke.

Jason reached for her hand and they were transported. Talia woke up on the ground in the middle of the clearing a few hours later, Jason was gone.

-

Alex was swinging back home to Kate’s after patrolling in Crime Alley. It was the early evening, she’d spent the afternoon around the Castle, Roc taking over from her now. She had classes early the next morning.

She dropped on the balcony and stretched. She could smell cigarette smoke. She wanted to shout for Jason but held back. She spotted a cigarette on the ground and turned invisible, moving around trying to find who was there. She hoped it was Jason.

She spotted a ginger man trying to hide behind a column. He had a baseball hat on and not enough clothes for the cold Gotham winter temperatures. She came up from behind and picked him up effortlessly, hanging him upside down over the balcony by his ankle.

“Who are you?” – She asked revealing herself to the man.

“Argh! Shit! Okay okay, I’m Roy! I’m Jason’s friend! I’m looking for Alex!” – The man held his hands up, or rather, down. Alex remembered him, it was the man who was after her when she was out with Kate, the one who gave her his number.

“How do you know of Alex?” – She asked warming up to him, she remembered Jason mentioning a friend he’d fallen out with before he’d moved to Metropolis, a mess of a ginger.

“Jason wrote to me, he spoke of his girlfriend! I’ve been trying to find him but I can’t! Can you… Oh fuck… Can you please put me down?” – Alex obeyed, putting him gently on the ground of the balcony. He didn’t look so good now that she got a better look at him, deep sunken eyes, cracked lips and a pale face. – “Oh fuck me… Thank you…”

“What’s the matter with you? You look like shit…” – Alex asked kneeling down an inspecting him

“Thanks that’s very kind sweetheart, I feel like shit…” – He held his stomach and looked down, Alex felt a chill run down her spine and regretted having held him upside down like that. She’d seen Gregg like this before, she’d helped him through withdrawals before when she’d tried getting him clean and the way he’d curl up in pain looked just like Roy.

“You’re Alex aren’t you? Gotham Girl? It’s fine, you can trust me. I’m Arsenal. I’m Roy.” – He extended his hand and smiled at her.

“You’re… Arsenal? Aren’t you looking a little rough to be a hero Roy?” – She asked amusingly.

“Oh fuck off It’s been a rough few months okay… Not that you’d know what it’s like to do this with no tricks up your sleeve. What was that back there? Did you turn invisible or what?” – He complained waving his hand angrily just like Jason. Alex laughed.

“Come on Roy, let’s get you inside. You need a meal and I happen to need a partner in crime and I think you’ll do just fine.” – She smiled mischievously at him and he smiled back.

She walked back into the penthouse ahead of him, her cape swooshing in the cold wind revealing the back of her suit. Roy whistled.

“Is there some ink under the suit to match?” – He asked referring to the fiery heart tramp stamp above her ass.

“Pervs don’t get Gatorade Roy, watch yourself or I’ll hang you off the balcony for the night, bat style.” – She was smiling, there was something disarming about Roy.

“Got it, ma’am.”

-

The temple hid high up between mountains, it was cold and icy outside but the inside was warm and inviting. The corridors of the place were familiar, Jason had been to many such buildings before during his time with the League. Essence had allowed him time to bathe and dress. It had been almost a half day without the tea and he could feel himself coming back to normal, his senses weren’t as dulled anymore but he still felt weak, he’d need to be smart, calculated. 

He was summoned for a meeting with her in a spacious room, the walls covered in rice paper with delicate drawings. The room was being bathed by warm sunlight, her white hair looking angelic against the sun.

“Jason…” – She said once he’d entered the room. It was just the two of them, but that didn’t matter, these people were magic users, you could never get a true bearing of your surroundings with them. He didn’t respond, instead watching her attentively. – “I tried to reach you for a long time… You were… I couldn’t find you. There were small moments I could feel our connection but they fizzled quickly… Until last spring, in Metropolis…”

Jason swallowed hard, Zatanna was right, Essence had been trying to use his emotions to reach him. He’d been numb before Alex, for longer than he’d like to admit. He’d been aimless, purposeless, homeless. He’d found small refuge with Roy for periods of time but he couldn’t be his friend through his addiction. He’d ultimately left, thinking Roy needed a wake up call and not someone to pick him back up again. It had worked, but he didn’t know it.

“That was no connection to you, Essence. You preyed on my happiness… Why did you attack me in Gotham?” – He wasn’t falling for her act.

“That wasn’t me Jason, I saved you! You and the other boy, I saved you from the All-Caste!” – She was angry, pacing back and forth, Jason stood still. 

Metropolis… – He thought back to Alex, the first time he’d seen her in the tatami, complaining they’d used her full name, the way she’d stood patiently as Penelope bounced around her.

“No. Try again.” – He said, surprised by how much he’d sounded like Bruce.

Essence stopped and squinted at him. She moved closer, reaching towards him, resting her hand on his chest, he was immobile.

“Have you lost all ability to believe me? We shared each other before Jason, does that mean nothing to you? I tried reaching out to you, for help! I used our connection…” – She inched closer, he flinched. – “I see…” – She walked away. – “You save yourself for her…”

“Don’t worry about it.” – He stood firm, a smirk on his lips. – “And it wasn’t you who saved me from the beasts, it was her. If you have any respect for me, don’t insult me by lying. That was all you wasn’t it? Why did you want me here so bad? You have me now, no matter how, here I am. So go on…” – He turned to face her, she was looking out the window at the snowy mountain tops glistening in the sunshine.

“Very well. I have looked through the veil and I know what’s to come, I have seen visions of the future and the destruction that will come. Worlds will shatter. I tried to warn them, but not all believed me. I had to do something to save us… To save us all.” – She turned back to face him, the sunlight outlining her head like a halo. – “But I can’t do this alone Jason, I wish to have you beside me.”

“Why me?” – He was genuinely confused.

“You too have gazed through the veil. You have died and returned, you have seen what’s on the other side, you know the truth just as I do.” – Jason felt uneasy hearing her, she sounded different from how she used to, she sounded… Cultish.

“There’s nothing after death, Essence. It’s nothing, it’s non-existence…”

“No! I drank from fountains of truth, I travelled the world and reached places few before me have and I saw it all! I know what awaits us…” – She once again reached towards him, touching his face with one hand, the other moved to his arm. She felt a tingle where the beast had scratched him, that same tingle she could feel when reaching out to him, that dark impure magic all over him. – “It has touched you, this dark magic… That is why you had to come to me Jason, to be cleansed!” – He reached for her shoulders, holding her tightly.

“There is no goddamn dark magic Essence! There’s no darkness, there’s nothing after death, no horrible future for Earth!” 

“You must see it for yourself!” – She grabbed him back.

Jason found himself in a whirlwind of visions. He could see what Essence had seen. He saw her travels, he saw her doing ancient rituals and connecting to old gods. He saw her drinking from a fountain in a dark cave, collapsing and seizing. He could see the visions she’d had, awful dreams where dark shadows chaged and chased her, lightning flashed his eyes, red explosions in the sky. He could feel her fear, he could feel how cold she’d felt. She’d fought the visions, fought the horrible cosmic powers that sought to destroy her and all. He saw red piercing eyes, an angry swirl of red before his eyes and he felt pain. He saw her return to the All-Caste, and he saw her kill them all, her fellow members, her friends, Ducra…

“Stop!” – He pulled back, throwing her off of him and stumbling back out of balance.

“You’ve seen it now! You know what is to come! You know what we must do!” – She had fallen to the ground. He reached over and tried helping her up, disliking himself for having pushed her away like that.

“Essence… That was not a vision of the future, that was a nightmare! You messed with something you shouldn’t have… It’s gonna be okay, I’ll help you…” – He felt scared for her, he could feel the fear she’d felt, he could understand her paranoia, her crusade. But he knew it was not true, he knew it was just a horrible hallucination, a dream she needed to snap out of. 

“No! You were supposed to understand!” – She took a small pocket knife from her sleeve and sliced at Jason, giving him a small cut on his upper cheek. He fell back and she jumped over him. He tried restraining her but she was stronger than he remembered. He managed to kick the knife away but by the time he managed to subdue her the room filled with men and women loyal to her. Jason was shackled with invisible bonds, he was rendered immobile on his knees.

“I’d hoped seeing the future through my eyes would be enough… That your sensitivity hadn’t been dulled by the dark sorceress who corrupted you. I see her grasp is stronger than I expected. No matter… I will make you see it one way or another. You will join me Jason, you will help me build a new world that will be ready to face the dark threat. You will see it, you will join me…”

Jason fought against the invisible bonds uselessly, feeling a deep sleep overtake him until he fell back on the woven tatami floor, unconscious.

-

“Are you sure that’s not too long?” – Alex asked anxiously sitting on the side of the bathtub.

“Nah-uh, red is tricky, you gotta leave it in long. You also gonna have to refresh it like every other wash or something so it stays vibrant.” – He said sitting back over the closed toilet lid and throwing his gloves in the bin next to him. 

“See, I knew you’d be good at this. You a fake ginger?” – Alex asked laughing.

“No, but I’ve helped friends do this before.”

“Jason ever dye his hair?”

“No, though I tell him he should dye that white streak all the time” – They both laughed. They’d locked themselves in the bathroom after sharing a meal and Roy had helped Alex bleach thin strands and some of the ends of her hair and dye them red. She’d felt impulsive earlier that day and thought the red would look cool, blend in with her skin.

Alex had changed into casual clothes and put her necklace back on instinctively, not realising it would probably be best not to have it while dyeing her hair. They were both looking at each other’s bare arms. Roy wondered about the red streaks on hers, she also hadn’t been wearing her brown eye contact lenses and her piercing red eyes were mesmerising. Roy’s arms looked rough, but healing.

“Yeah I know…” – He said catching her stare. – “I’m betting you’ve seen this before though, you don’t look disgusted or scared.”

“Yeah… My friend, Gregg. Kid lived his whole life in and out of the system. Had a needle in his arm years before any stubble grew on his face. Sorry for saying you looked like shit earlier. You looked extra pale out there, understandably.” – She giggled.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re dangled by the foot on the top floor of a high rise!” – They both laughed. – “You got some markings of your own though… Is that…?” – He wanted to ask if it was ‘natural’, if she’d been born with it, if she was a meta human or alien but couldn’t quite figure out how to word it. Alex rubbed the skin of her arms and held herself.

“No… Well, it’s new… I was experimented on some months back…” – Roy interrupted her.

“Months?! Shit…”

“Yeah, it was right after I met Jason actually… Right after I came back from Metropolis…”

“Metropolis huh? Well seems you and I went through hell at the same time.” – He lifted his hand for a high five, Alex smacked his hand a little too hard. – “Well you know at least some good came out of me crashing and burning…” – Alex looked at him confused.

“What do you mean?” – She asked.

“Well… Jason wouldn’t have been in Metropolis if I hadn’t, ugh… It’s a bit of a long story really, a messy one.”

“That’s okay, show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” – Alex smiled and Roy felt more at ease, he didn’t like thinking back on it but he also felt like it would be good for her to know what his relationship to Jason was like now… He wouldn’t want her getting surprised if Jason started beating him up upon first sight.

“So… I wanted to help a friend out. Jason had nowhere to crash and he was broke and not doing so good and I welcomed him in. I just neglected to mention I was in a downward spiral at the time and Jason doesn’t like drugs, and he really doesn’t like H… I decided to do the stupidest thing of all of course, I tried to hide it from him like a fucking idiot. I managed for a little and then I had a moment of clarity and tried to stop and then of course I didn’t manage and then next time I shoot up I…” – He paused looking down, shame in his face. – “He saved me. He brought me back and he got me help… He didn’t know I was using at all, and then he opens my room one morning and I’m just… I’ll never forgive myself for that, just like his mom…” – Roy leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his baseball cap tightly in his grip. – “He waited till I was back home before he left, he cleaned up my mess… pfff…. He cleaned up the mess and he took me home and he punched me in the face and shouted at me and left. He was so angry at me I… I’d never seen him that mad…”

“He was scared…” – Alex said, remembering times she herself had shouted at Gregg, dragging him into the showers at Park’s and hosing him down with his clothes still on and all, shouting and crying at him.

“They look the same sometimes don’t they? Anger and fear? Hard to tell the two apart.” – Alex nodded. 

“You said he wrote to you…” – She finally asked.

“Yeah… Yeah he wrote me a few weeks back when he was still here… He didn’t… He didn’t address anything that had happened, he was just giving me a life update.” – He laughed at that. – “Like, it was like nothing had happened you know? Like just a hey what’s up, I’m back home with dad and I met this cool chick and I’ve found my purpose hope you good xoxo. It’s kinda nuts really…"

“He forgives you Roy… It, it might be hard to say it or to even think about it, but him writing to you… I’ve had a friend I’ve punched myself a few times… Someone I love but who drives me mad… No matter the shit he’s pulled, I’d go to hell and back for him… Even though sometimes you need a little break to make sure you’re not the one sending them down to hell in the first place.” – They both laughed and smiled at each other. Alex played with the necklace around her neck.

“Think it’s time we give you a rinse and ruin Kate’s shiny porcelain.”

Roy helped Alex rinse her hair, being careful not to let too much water down her back. She showered after and Roy rested on Alex and Jason’s bed. He wondered where his friend was and hugged a pillow, the one Jason would usually hug when wishing Alex was in bed with him. He heard a noise in the main room and got up. 

He walked slowly through the dark lit corridor until he reached the main living room. There was a man in the middle of the room inspecting Roy’s crossbow on the dining table. The man turned and Roy was surprised for a moment.

“Damian?” – He asked incredulously, last time he’d seen him he was just a boy. He was now almost as tall as him and much stronger than he remembered him. 

“Roy, you look like shit.” – Damian said with an attitude.

“Don’t I know it… You look… Old?” – Roy said leaning back against the couch, feeling old himself.

Alex had rushed out of the bedroom when she’d come out of the bathroom to find Roy gone. She slid into the main room watching the staring context between the two.

“Babysitting your boyfriend has taken years off my life. Speaking of which…” – He then addressed both Alex and Roy. – “Get changed you two, it’s time to bring Jason home.”

Chapter Text

Alex was relieved to be outside of the jet. It wasn’t her first time on a plane, that had been her trip to Metropolis months ago, but this was different – Damian flew faster than she believed possible. She had commiserated with Roy, who’d spent the last few moths trying to get clean and had spent a few hellish weeks with a grieving stomach. 

The air outside the temple was fresh and cold, she felt revived. Damian had dropped her off closer to the building, meeting Talia with Roy further away where they could hide the jet. Alex was on her own, for the most part, she kept in touch via comms. She reached the old monastery in no time and was trying to remain focused whilst surrounded by such beauty. She had never seen architecture like this in her life, never thought she’d see it in person. She took in the moments she had to stay still, hidden, letting herself observe the details of the building before moving on. She noticed she still had her necklace on, having forgotten to take it off when getting changed before they left. It scratched her neck but she wouldn’t risk removing it and losing it now. 

She found her way to a long hall bathed in cool light, dark and eerie. Long hallways surrounded a middle pathway lit up with bluish torches. A window in the back facing the snowy mountain was the only source of natural light in the old room. There were people in dark capes chanting in a language she did not recognise, organised in rows leading to a central pond. The pond had a platform in its middle, there was a small fountain there and most importantly, Jason was there. He was on the ground, on his knees, shackled. A chill went down Alex’s spine and she moved as fast as she could without disturbing the crowd. Her backup had just made it to the building but would take a couple minutes to reach her. 

Shit… – She thought realising they were out of time..

There was a woman across from Jason, she had white long hair and pale skin covered in tattoos. She rested on her knees with her eyes closed, chanting along.

Two men held Jason up and stabilising his upper body, he didn’t look fully awake. Alex held a gasp when she saw him, he was much skinnier than she remembered him, having lost a considerable amount of weight in the last month or so. He looked tired and in pain, his brows furrowed – she felt angry and moved closer. The woman took a cup from the fountain and moved towards Jason, Alex panicked.

Alex ran as fast as she could, crossing the pond and splashing water all over, surprising everyone in the room. The woman especially held back and tried to locate Alex, she couldn’t. She reached for Jason and touched the cup to his lips, he tried moving his head away but she forced the cup on him. Alex jumped on the platform and tackled Essence, the cup falling and shattering. The impact of the tackle was such Alex was flung back, hitting and shattering a statue with the impact of her strength. Essence had dropped not too far from her, struggling to get up. Alex was visible now, having lost her concentration with the impact.

“You… You dare?” – She shouted at Alex angrily. Alex paid her no mind, focusing on Jason. He’d fallen down, Alex was unsure whether he’d drunk any of the strange liquid or not. 

“Oh shut the fuck up will you?” – Alex responded grunting as she stood up and squaring up. – “Come on blondie, I ain’t got all day.”

-

It had been a strange dream. He’d seen flashes of faces he knew, familiar places. Lights and colors and shapes had moved in his vision, warm and inviting. It was a familiar feeling, that place he’d sometimes remembered, that place where nothing was everything. He saw eyes looking at him, red eyes just like in Essence’s vision, except these eyes were not angry and desperate. These eyes smiled at him sweetly, kindly. The red warm, familiar and inviting, deep crows feet and age lines revealed as they smiled at him.

Jason came back to slowly, his hearing slow to pick up on the chaos that surrounded him. Just as he managed to lift his torso up he found himself being knocked back down, a warm and familiar hand pushing him down on the chest and crashing on the pebbles next to him.

“Down boy!” – Shouted Roy over the chaos of magic, screaming, guns and wind, terribly strong wind summoned by the magic users in the room.

“Roy?!! – Jason shouted seeing the mess of red hair next to him on the ground.

“Bout’ time sleeping beauty.” – Roy joked, turning fast and shooting two arrows at magically terrifying hawks that circled the room. – “How’s it going man? You look like shit.”

“How kind… I feel worse than shit.” – Jason replied. They stood up, back against one another. Jason couldn’t release himself from the heavy handcuffs he had on, choosing to use them as a weapon.

“Same here, been about seven months of pure shit but boy am I happy for it.” – He said shooting more of the twisted birds.

“Never been this happy to hear you’re feeling awful, Roy.” – Jason responded, hitting an incoming attacker with the iron cuffs.

Talia and Damian handled most of the cultists in the room, their movements fluid and precise. Talia would never admit it but she’d see much of Batman in Damian’s fighting that day and she’d feel proud of him for it. 

Magic ran wild in that room, demonic dark versions of animals spawned all around them and the elements were weaved like weapons against our heros. Fire fell from the sky like rain, and water travelled like a whirlwind, splashing cold and salty, spiky and painful.

Roy grabbed a cultist by the hood and brought them down.

“Get the cuffs off him, now!” – He commanded, the man obeyed, saying words in that same strange language they’d been chanting in. Jason’s wrists finally freed.

The two continued fighting until Jason heard a familiar sound, a grunt and a loud shattering noise. Alex had hit Essence with a push kick, shoving her against a statue.

“It’s not possible! You’re unnatural! Your magic corrupted!” – Essence screamed at Alex in frustration, she’d discovered her magic seemed to not affect Alex much at all, a pale version of the true extent of her powers. She was still a skilled fighter however, and was not going to stop until she’d drawn blood.

“I’m not a fucking witch!” – Alex said coming up to Essence and offering her hand. – “I’m out of this world.” – She smiled an obnoxious smile at Essence.

Essence refused her hand, rather tripping Alex with a sweep kick. The two were fighting each other with all they had, Alex tried as hard as she could to have a fair fight, but Essence did not care and was taking advantage of Alex’s morals to get a rise out of her.

The two stood back up and fought hard, punches, and kicks, and elbows flying. Both were breathless and bruised but kept going. They had to, this was life and death.

Jason spotted them across the room and tried making his way towards them, summoning his blades and fighting bravely all maner of beast and man that stood in his way, Roy providing him cover.

Alex and Essence fought until they dropped on the ground hard, interlocked, holding each other in a tight struggle when Essence pulled out knives from inside her sleeves.

Oh for fuck’s sake… – Alex thought dodging the blades as best as she could. 

She moved quickly and surprised Essence with her knee, her range of motion far better than most, making Essence loose her focus momentarily. Alex held her down and tried to restrain her, tried to get her to drop the knives. It was a bad idea, being so close to someone who clearly knew how to wield a blade but Alex had brute strength on her side. She’d spotted Jason just before kicking Essence, he was alive, he was alive… But how would this end? These people, this cult… When would they cease to hunt him down? Alex felt panicked, adrenaline rushing through her. She couldn’t stand by anymore, she couldn’t wait and see. 

This was Jason, this was her love who had been hunted, tortured and threatened. They wouldn’t have him. She couldn’t let it happen now, she couldn’t freeze. She’d trained, she’d learned, adapted, she was in control.

Jason was almost by Alex and Essence, struggling against a great hound like the ones he’d fought before when he heard Alex scream. He slayed the beast and looked over to find Alex and Essence tangled on the floor. Alex was on top, her body covering most of Essence, her hair draped over her face covering it. She looked like her hair had been dipped in blood. He ran, not caring for flying projectiles or bullets or beasts, he ran as fast as he could as he saw blood pooling on the ground underneath the two, who now stood scarily still.

“Alex! Alex! Please no!!” – He said sliding down next to her, her hands were covered in blood. 

He embraced her as he reached her, trying to assess the situation, pulling her away from Essence. She moaned in pain as he grabbed her, a knife was stuck on the side of her hip and he’d pushed it in when he’d collapsed against her. He kept calling for her.

“Alex, Alex! Please I love you, please, what… What happened…” – he tried holding her at a distance to see where she’d been hurt. She fell back into his arms.

“Jason…” – She said catching her breath, her voice sounded distant, she was shaking.

Jason thought the blood was Alex’s, some of it was, but only very little. He looked over Alex’s shoulder, her legs still open wide over Essence’s body on the ground. He held his breath as he looked down at Essence, her chest was bloody, one of her daggers shoved deep into her heart, bones broken in. 

Essence had looked through the veil when she’d gone on her quest, she’d prayed to old gods for answers and she’d drunk from deep still waters that never surfaced and she’d seen her own death. 

-

Alex was leaning against a wooden beam older than she could ever imagine and looking at the view ahead of her. Snowy mountains in the sunset, a pink sky and trees she’d never seen before. It was the most beautiful scene she’d ever seen in her life. 

I’m fine, I’m alive, Jason is alive, Damian is alive. The snow on the mountain shines like buildings in Metropolis. The sky is pink like my chair in my old room. My toes are moving, I feel them inside my shoes, my chest moves up and down. I am alive, I am in control. – Alex thought repeatedly, breathing like Tim taught her, thinking like Tim taught here. She would observe her surroundings and think of what things reminded her of, safe things, safe spaces, home.

“They’ll be here any minute now ok? Does it hurt?” – Jason asked coming between her and the view, shifting her focus.

“Not too bad…” – She replied, seeing him feeling as unreal as the scenery, she thought this moment would never come.

“You’re shaking… Are you cold?” – He asked holding her shoulders, and looking over at Roy who looked at Alex with concern.

“No. I’m not cold at all.” – Alex replied, she was feeling comfortably numb. It had all happened so fast, Essence was trapped under her, fighting to free herself. She’d stabbed Alex and then… And then Alex had struggled with her for the other dagger. Their movements messy and desperate, the two had struggled and then Essence had been still. She’d killed her. She’d struggled for the knife and she’d turned it on her attacker.

“Ok, that’s fine. It’ll be fine yeah? It’s…” – Jason hugged her, not knowing what to say. He had so much he wanted to say to her, for weeks he’d thought about her, written her and now she’d come and she’d… Killed for him… He had so much he wanted to say but he couldn’t, and so he held her.

“Is she in shock?” – Asked Roy trying to keep his voice down.

“No, I’m… I think I should be though…” – She replied shifting her weight, concerned about how relieved she felt. She felt relief for being with Jason, relief that he was alive and was coming back home. She felt relief she had held her own, that she’d fought and persevered. She had killed someone though… She had killed someone and what shd felt most was relief.

“You’re fine, you’re safe, you’re not in danger, you’re alive…” – Jason whispered in her ear, the mantra he’d said to himself for so many years, the words Damian whispered into his ear when he’d taken Alex to Bruce when she’d almost died in the explosion with Tim.

Talia and Damian met them not long after, ready to go home. Talia piloted while Damian set up a corner to fit Alex’s injury. 

“It’ll just heal in a couple hours if you leave it, you don’t have to stitch me up…” – She argued laying down on her side, popping her hip up for him to inspect the injury.

“Mhm, and what about that cold you had after you started uni? Took you ages to recover, I’m not buying this super healing crap…”

“Damian is great at this, it’ll take no time.”– Jason said kneeling down besides her, his face so close to hers they were sharing the same air.

“Yeah and you don’t want Jason’s shaky hand to stitch you up, trust me…” – Roy said slapping Jason’s shoulder. The batarang Batman had thrown at his hand to disarm him in their confrontation over the Joker had damaged some nerves, his hand shook and had limited feeling ever since.

“You should be grateful I stitched your ass up regardless… You want me to get it off?” – Jason asked paying no mind to Roy. Alex hummed and closed her eyes, anticipating pain.

Jason reached for the handle of the blade and was ready to pull it out when he noticed a bit of… Resistance… He pulled it softly, the blade stuck under her skin.

“Ouch what the fuck was that!?” – Alex complained at the tug.

“Oh no…” – Roy said with a pained look on his face.

“Oh no?! Oh no what?!” – Alex asked trying to look back.

“It seems I was wrong, you do heal remarkably fast. Shouldn’t have left the blade in.” – Damian said holding back his laughter. – “Allow me Todd.” – He pushed Jason to the side and grabbed the handle, pulling it hard in one fast and smooth motion, Alex screamed, a small chunk of flesh coming off with the blade.

“Ok, I take it back, you can stitch me up…” – She said with watery eyes. It had been a strange day, first Essence’s magic didn’t seem to work against her, and now her skin had healed more than twice as fast as it normally did…

Damian worked diligently, he was focused on cleaning the wound and adding a couple neat stitches to aid her body in healing. Jason remained sat by the small pull-out emergency bed she was lying on. He held and caressed her hands gently, trying to distract her and bring her comfort. He couldn’t believe the events of the last 24 hours. He’d gone from twisting and turning for another night in his tent with Talia to being reunited with Essence only to be rescued by his closest friends… He had been rescued. Damian had returned even after he’d sent him away, Roy had come too, even after they’d fought and he’d left him, and Alex… Alex had fought for him, fought so hard she’d… She’d killed for him… He felt a knot in his throat and tears rushed down his eyes faster than he could’ve anticipated. There was no holding back.

“Hey… Hey, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” – Alex asked reachcing for his cheek and wiping away his tears, her hands still covered in dry blood.

“I’m… I’m just so happy to see you… I’m so happy to see you…” – He stared at her red eyes, the image from the vision flashing his memory for a moment and he leaned in for a kiss. He kissed her hard and desperately, much like the first time they’d kissed. – “I love you, I love you Alex. I love you so much.” – He said quietly, only for her to hear. Damian and Roy heard him too of course, exchanging looks in response but keeping quiet. They understood the weight of this moment, they understood just how much of what they’d just witnessed in the temple meant for Jason. 

Chapter Text

Damian had finished his breakfast and was walking up the stairs to his room with a mug of coffee, still feeling tired from all the fighting in Mongolia the day before. He’d hoped Bruce would join him but he’d been nowhere to be found, probably still in the Batcave with Talia. He dragged his feet and stretched, wearing flannel pijama pants and a t-shirt that had belonged to Dick before, or Tim, or Jason, or maybe even Alex. He opened the door to his room and found Alex playing with his cat.

“Hello?” – He asked in a joking tone, putting the mug down on the floor and sitting on his bed. Alex was sat on his desk chair, the cat snuggled up to her and asking for pets.

“Morning!” – She said in a chipper tone, it confused Damian even more.

“What are you doing here?” – He asked rubbing his eyes and folding up a leg and picking the mug back up and taking a long sip from it.

“Hum… I woke up and I didn’t know where to go.” – She said mindlessly. She needed to talk to someone but it couldn’t be Jason, plus he was busy with Roy. It also couldn’t be Tim, Tim might not understand and their friendship was always a bit fragile, she wanted to protect it, they were finally at a good place after a terrible year. There was only one person she trusted, only one person who could probably say something that could actually help, only one person she knew wouldn’t judge her.

“So you decided to take a trip down to the petting zoo?” – Damian asked. He knew this mood of hers, it was clear she had something to say but didn’t know how to, he decided to take a guess. – “Is it about Essence?”

Alex swallowed dry and looked up at Damian.

“Yeah… I’m feeling a bit…” – She lingered on every word, cautious…

“You killed someone.” – He stated, wanting to see what her reaction to that would be. To his surprise she didn’t crumble, start crying or anything of the sort.

“Yeah, I killed someone.” – She looked down at the cat. They sat in silence for a bit, Damian hoping she’d take the lead and start vomiting her thoughts at him like she usually did.

“Am I a bad person now? Am I… Is this it now?  Like fuck, I couldn’t even press the trigger on Kate from an empty gun, a shell, a toy! And then I just… Drive the blade so deep I…” – She shivered at the thought, the sensation of Essence’s bones cracking under the force of the stabbing. – “Am I one of the bad guys now?” – She asked after a while.

“Am I? Is Jason?” – Damian asked very matter of fact.

“No… But I don’t think I feel as bad as I should… I mean I… I hate it, I hate thinking about it, I hate knowing I killed someone, someone I didn’t even know…But I also don’t regret it?” – There had been something strange about the way Alex felt about the fight in Mongolia. Relief that Jason was alive and safe blended with alienation, anger at herself mixed with relief that she’d acted. For so long now she’d felt powerless, she’d felt incapable of ever doing what Gotham Girl wanted to do: to help people, to save them. She hadn’t frozen, she hadn’t panicked, she’d been sharp and she’d made the choice to kill. It would be too easy to convince herself that in the panic of the fight her instincts had taken over, kill or be killed, that it hadn’t even been about Jason at that point, that interlocked with Essence there was no other way out, no other outcome, but she knew better. There was always a way, always a way to redraw the board, always a new way to push yourself and fight harder, better, to defend yourself without hurting unnecessarily. She’d made that choice before, she’d made the choice to land a single blow on the face of someone she hated. She didn’t hate Essence, she feared her, and in her fear she’d made the choice to kill her. It was a chilling choice to live with, one she felt partly ashamed of making, but that she somehow didn’t regret. It upset her and it confused her.

“Why did you do it?” – Damian put the cup down by his dangling foot and leaned forward.

“I did it to save Jason, to stop her, to stop her from hurting him anymore.” – Alex was still looking down.

“You did it for love.” – He said categorically, no hesitation, no emotion in his voice. – “If you think Jason and I are redeemable, then don’t waste your life beating yourself up about how much or how little you feel about it. When you learned about who I am, who I had been… Be honest, did it change how you saw me?”

“I felt sorry for you. Sorry you’d grown up the way you did, without the freedoms I had.” – Alex bit her tongue, thinking Damian would be angry at her for pitying him. – “But no… I didn’t care about what you’d done in that way… What matters is the person I know in front of me, and that kid was brave and loyal and fun.” – Damian smiled shyly.

“Then there’s your answer. I don’t know how others would feel about you if they knew, I wouldn’t go around advertising it… But I saw you acting like a hero, you took the lead, you stopped them before they could hurt Jason further on your own, you had no backup and you kicked the ass of one of the world’s most powerful magic users and fighters. Killing is wrong, but you know this, I don’t think you or me or any of us have to worry about you going on a rampage now that you’ve done it. You are not a villain.” – His words comforted Alex.

“It’s kinda cheating though… Her magic didn’t affect me much at all… Not sure how heroic any of that was… It was messy, brutal.”

“I have this teacher who once taught me about the reality of fighting, and why they teach it. She said the main reason they taught it was to make people see how brutal it was, to dissuade people from falling into a violent life. Regardless of how messy or brutal it was, you did it to stop a bigger fight. You saved the day, you saved Jason and all you got was a scratch and a lesson out of it.”

“What lesson?” – Alex asked smiling, proud of Damian, he heard much of Park through him, much of herself.

“That you should not keep blades in if you get stabbed.” – They both laughed, the cat clawing at Alex for more attention.

-

Jason had made his way up the fire escape stairs and was now crouching outside Alex’s window. He looked inside and saw her, her back facing him. She was getting dressed, having just stepped out of the shower. She had underwear on and was putting on a tshirt. He hesitated for a moment. They hadn’t had a moment together, just the two of them, since getting back to Gotham and he was nervous. He knew how he felt about everything that had happened in Mongolia, but he wasn’t sure how she felt. She’d seemed strangely calm on the way back after Damian stitched her up. She’d stopped shaking and was joking with Roy, resting on Jason’s lap... 

He knocked on the glass. Alex turned and spotted Jason on the other side of the window. She ran towards him and opened the window, leaning out and giving him a kiss, holding his head with both hands. She then pulled him in.

“What are you doing knocking? Get in!” – She joked. He stepped in and kicked off his shoes and sat down on her bed, she stood in front of him, between his legs. He held her hip and looked where Essence had stabbed her, barely a scratch left now. He lingered on the spot, one thumb running the thin line and the other over her hipbone, resting on her lower tummy.

“It’s healed nicely, didn’t need stitches but I guess Damian got some good practice out of it.” – She said.

“I’m sorry.” – Jason wasn’t sure what to say, he felt uncomfortable and on edge. He rested his head against her stomach, still holding her hips. 

“What are you sorry about?” – Alex asked playing with his hair lovingly.

“I’m just… I’m sorry you had to go there… I’m sorry you had to-” – Alex interrupted him, pushing him back so she could see his face.

“No no no no no, no you’re not doing this.” – She said leaning down and holding his face in the palms of her hands. – “Jason no, please don’t… Please don’t feel bad for me.” – Jason reached for her hands, his eyes were confused and sad. She couldn’t handle it, it was bad enough understanding her own emotions about what she’d done, she couldn’t handle thinking Jason felt blame for it.

“I just, I’m scared you’ll resent me for it.” – He finally said. Alex took and breath and furrowed her brow, letting go of his face and hugging him, his face again against her body, she clutched his head against her. She feared he’d say that.

“Jason… I made my choice. It didn’t happen to me, I did it.” – She pulled him away and stared at him again with concern. She sat down next to him on the bed, facing him, one leg dangling off the side of the mattress. 

“You didn’t kill Fang. You… You faced her the day after she killed your friend and you didn’t kill her…” – He was looking ahead, leaning on his knees, Alex reached for his back, rubbing it tenderly.

“Look at me.” – He did, she moved in closer. – “I didn’t kill Fang because it would’ve been for the wrong reason.” – She paused. – “I would’ve killed her out of rage, out of blind anger, it would’ve been a bloody angry mess. It would’ve been an attack, not defense.” – Jason reached for her, comforted by her proximity, he rested a hand on her thigh. – “I don’t like that I killed. I don’t think I ever will, it feels strange and I do feel bad about it. But I won’t lie to you and say I would’ve chosen any different. I’ll live with this, I’m okay with that because… Because I did it for the right reason… I killed for love, Jason. I killed to make sure you never went through any of that again. And I don’t care if we grow sick of each other one day and never speak again… I’ll never regret doing what I did because I did it to protect you. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m a bad person, but to me there’s a difference.”

“I… I missed you so much…” – Jason said moving his hands, touching her, pulling her closer so she’d be on his lap. – “I was so scared, so so scared when I saw you on the ground with her, there was so much blood I-” – Alex leaned in and kissed him, a soft kiss, slow and tender.

“I know… I know…” – She whispered back between kisses, holding him tightly.

Alex’s weight pushed Jason back, he leaned as she moved so she’d be on top of him, her legs open, her knees on his sides. He moved them both back, so his back would be against the wall, Alex’s breasts pressing against his chest. He moved his hands down, holding her ass and feeling her motion against him as she kissed him. He pushed her off for a moment and took off his sweater and tshirt, she did the same, having been half undressed already anyways. They’d missed each other terribly, their company, the way they felt around each other, they way they made each other feel. Jason got up and removed his pants, standing in his checkered boxers and leaning over Alex to kiss her.

“What you turn shy now? Get those off…” – She joked trying to get the boxers off over his erection. He did so, smiling as he kissed her and got back on the bed. 

He sat down again against the wall and Alex jumped over him, rubbing against his dick slowly, dying with anticipation. Jason let out a hushed moan when Alex lowered herself, taking him inside. She moved unexpectedly and he found himself completely at her mercy, his breath shaky. He was glad she’d taken over, set the pace, he wouldn’t have been able to control himself otherwise. It felt unreal being back here with her, it felt better than ever before. He held her back tightly, feeling turned on by her strong muscles and the way her boobs bounced with her motion. He took one in his mouth, kissing her and sucking gently on her, she moaned loudly. The sound was as sweet as the taste of her skin. He slid his hand slowly from her boob down and found the spot. Alex slowed down, struggling to keep moving as waves of pleasure overtook her just as they had Jason when she’d started riding him. He used his idle hand to support her back and switch positions, topping her now while still keeping his hand at work. Alex’s back arched against the mattress as he thrusted and played her. She came with a loud moan and he slowed down for a moment, leaning down to kiss her neck.

“Mind if I finish?” – He asked biting her gently, she thrusted her hip up as a signal, her eyes closed and brow furrowed, still caught up in waves of pleasure, fireworks going off inside her chest. 

Jason switched the pace, going harder and deeper, holding her by the hips and her sides under her waist. It didn’t take long, he’d been on the verge of coming from the moment she’d sat on him. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, catching his breath while holding her still. He was surprised to notice she’d moaned back and clutched his thigh as he’d picked up the pace. She’d come again, her left leg twitching and her breathing hard. He loved being inside her and he prolonged it, taking a moment to recompose himself while holding her tightly. 

“Can I spend the night here?” – He asked lying down over her, resting his head on her breasts.

“Hell, after that you can move in.” – Alex responded running her fingers on his back, her muscles still twitching.

-

He hadn’t been there since. Not ever. Neither of them. Jason had thought about it the first time he’d been back to Gotham, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Bruce had looked at it from a distance almost every night, never able to step foot on the marble and stone – a haunted place.

Jason had been sitting there for a bit now, he felt contemplative and it had felt like the right place to go to. Alex was busy studying for an exam she’d missed when she’d dropped everything to go to Mongolia. Roy was at Kate’s and Jason was happy for it, but there was still some undeniable tension between the two friends. Roy’s mood in particular was unpredictable these days. The gargoyle was as good a friend as any in this particularly cold night in Gotham. It would be Christmas soon, there was a smell of snow in the air.

“Jason.” – Batman said coming around the tower and standing next to another gargoyle.

“Ba…- Bruce.” – Jason replied standing up while Bruce removed his cowl.

“It’s… It’s good to see you back.” – Jason felt a tug in his stomach. – “I got you this…” – Batman extended his hand out from under his cape, a new mask for Jason. 

It looked just like the old one, the red half face mask matched with an eye mask, except this one featured three gashes across it on purpose – a nod to the sad fate of his previous one. A nod to his past. Jason grabbed it and inspected it, it was far better than the one he’d fashioned himself in a hurry. 

“There’s a switch on the back left side. It will link you to Oracle, if you want it. You’ll only be online if you switch it on, it’s your choice. You… You’ve been doing good work in Crime Alley.” – Bruce said looking at Jason with relief, he knew he’d been rescued and was back in Gotham, seeing him in the flesh was different though, it always would be.

Jason stood there looking at the mask for a moment, both hands a little shaky and not because of the freezing temperatures on top of the old Gotham high rise. He looked up at Bruce and lunged at him, hugging him tightly. He’d decided in Mongolia to once again be Bruce’s son. He now decided to let Bruce be his father. 

Bruce hesitated for a moment, having been genuinely surprised by Jason’s movement, much faster than he anticipated too. He hugged Jason back, feeling tremendous relief doing so. One hand on the back of Jason’s head, gently supporting him like he’d done so many times before, so many years ago. 

He’d felt suspicious of Jason when he’d returned, he’d followed his almost every move after he came to back to Gotham, always afraid he’d slip and make Batman have to stop him. He didn’t have to stop him though, much to his relief Jason slowly proved to be the same person he’d known years ago, the Robin who cared deeply, sometimes maybe too much. It had been a strength then, it could be a strength now too. He loathed the thought of the things Jason had done when he’d revealed himself those years ago, he hated to think that was his Jason, but he wouldn’t be Batman if he didn’t give him a second chance, a chance to do good, to atone for his wrongdoings. 

They sat together for some time next to the gargoyles looking over Gotham, Batman explaining all features of the mask in detail to Jason just how he’d done dozens of times before with numerous gadgets. There was something both paternal and childish about the whole thing. Jason looked at Bruce and saw the kid in the Alley for a moment, he realised that kid was also there when he’d asked Batman to kill the joker. There was silence after the demonstration, Bruce broke it.

“I’m sorry about Essence… Talia told me she was behind all of this… I understand you two were close once, when you were with the All-Caste.”

“Yeah… We were… Thanks…” – Jason felt sad for Essence, not only because she’d died but because of everything that had set this horrible nightmare into motion and its’ sad outcome.

“Do you… Do you understand what happened? Why she did what she did?” – Batman was curious, Talia had hoarded information from him, partly wanting to protect Alex. 

She’d been impressed by the girl’s grit, how she’d fought bravely with no hesitation against an unknown force to her. She’d been impressed by her killing Essence, had she not done it, Talia would have done it herself. She’d lie to Batman about the fight in Mongolia for a long time wanting to protect Alex. She believed Alex was justified in killing Essence. Lying about it felt like a small favour to someone who’d bravely protected two of her sons multiple times.

“She went looking for something and what she found ruined her. She found something ancient, some old magic and she couldn’t handle it. She drank something that made her paranoid, it split the All-Caste and they murdered all who didn’t follow them…”

“Is that the same thing you drank? Talia said you were unresponsive when they arrived, a blue liquid dripping from your chin…”

“Yeah I did… But Essence also shared her vision with me before that, it was horrible.”

“How come it didn’t affect you the same?”

“Well… I think the liquid makes you see your own death. Essence saw hers and freaked out, took it as a sign of the end of the world and tried to fight it.” – He fidgeted with the mask, wishing he could have a cigarette now but he’d taken advantage of the weeks without any to try and drop the habit, he’d found it surprisingly easier than expected all things considered.

“... Did you see…-” – Bruce felt tense asking, not knowing what the answer would be. Would Jason have seen a flashback of his death? Did he see a future second death?

“I saw red eyes… They smiled at me, they were wrinkly… I was wrinkly too I think, I felt different, think that’s what feeling old is like.” – He smiled.

“That’s… That’s not a bad way to go.” – Bruce said feeling emotional.

“Not at all… I should know.”

-

Alex had been napping in the office at Park’s, she’d been alone in the studio. The door to the office opened, light pouring in. She covered her eyes with her arm, slowly getting up from the lined up kick pads she was lying on top of.

“What the hell are you doing here?” – Jason asked laughing and dropping down to her level. 

“Ugh… I came earlier to sign off on the retiling in the male changing room and then my class got cancelled so I just…” – Alex said rubbing her eyes.

“You just dropped where you were standing to catch up on some sleep?” – He got up and started picking up what he’d come for, some keys and the special equipment they used for the kids in the orphanage.

“Well… Yeah sorta.” – She sat up and yawned.

“Class is cancelled you said?” – He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. – “How about you join me then Miss. Demko? Show me how it’s really done?”

They went to the new Orphanage together. The building had taken some time to be ready, but it was much better than the old crumbling building. Its ruins still sat there, an eye sore for the neighbourhood. The new building had received funding from concerned members of Gotham’s elites, who donated after an inspiring speech and pledge to match any donation by Bruce Wayne. Previously, the children would come to Park’s once a week for classes, now thanks to an indoor gym space that featured a tatami, the kids had been visited regularly by Jason who’d taken over the kids groups before he’d been taken to Mongolia, followed by Tim. 

Nothing could’ve prepared him for the reaction in the room when he walked in with Alex. She’d been tying her belt mindlessly and telling him to keep an eye on this kid named Marcus when she flinched at the screams of the two dozen children who ran after her. She gave chase, pretending to be hunted down, eventually getting captured by the large group. Hugs and shouts of joy filled the room with a solar quality. Jason watched quietly in admiration until a few of the kids pulled him into the mess as well. 

Class was a hit that day, two beloved instructors together and the caretakers and teachers for the orphanage worried about how much sleep they’d be able to get that night after such agitation. 

“Charyeot!” – Alex shouted out, all kids obeying and standing at attention, tired after a fun and explosive class. – “Repeat after me and I wanna hear you all loud and clear! I shall observe the tenets of Taekwondo: Courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control and indomitable spirit. I shall respect all instructors and seniors! I shall never misuse Taekwondo! I shall be a champion of freedom and justice! I shall strive to build a more peaceful world!” – The kids recited the oath together with Alex, a loud choir of young voices committed to building a better future, a better Gotham. 

Jason repeated the oath, finding himself moved by the scene in the room. It might’ve taken Batman some time to figure her out, Tim struggled to see it, but Jason understood Gotham Girl, he saw her, he knew her, he admired her. She’d given the children of Crime Alley purpose and meaning, and Jason would always be a kid from Crime Alley.

Chapter Text

It was freezing outside the classroom, dark already even though it was still daytime. Alex was tapping her pencil on the side of the desk, much to her teacher’s annoyance. He refrained from asking her to stop, trying to focus on the book he was reading instead – he’d made a hard exam, he knew it. 

Alex had tried studying as much as she could but the last days since coming back from Mongolia had been busy. She’d been busy with Park’s and incapable of pushing Jason away. She’d missed him so bad for the months he spent away and the thought of sitting down to study geometry with him a few blocks away at Kate’s was just… She couldn’t do it. But studying at Kate’s didn’t really work either, Jason and Roy were getting along so well and they acted like boys around each other. It was nice to see, Jason had changed so much since he’d come to Gotham. He was louder, talkative, funny, and happy, especially since coming back from Mongolia. He might’ve come back from the dead years ago, but it was now, since meeting Gotham Girl and coming back from Metropolis as Jason Todd that he’d gotten a second chance at life. 

Alex’s phone buzzed in her backpack, her watch lighting up on her wrist. Only few messages went through to her watch, namely Oracle and her Dad. She looked over at her teacher, he seemed invested enough in his book. She lifted her sleeve and looked down at the screen, there were three messages from her dad.

“Hey sweetie, mind coming home soon?”

“Hey Alex, mind stopping by any time?”

“Hey Gotham Girl, think you should answer to your daddy.”

Her stomach sunk, her heart started racing. The following message was a picture, her dad tied up on a chair, her bedroom chair, the one with stickers covering the back, the one with sunbleached cushioning. 

“I have to leave Mr. Jones!” – She shouted getting up and grabbing her backpack, leaving her calculator, rulers and pencil case on the desk, pencils falling, a familiar sound.

“Ms. Demko! This is a retake exam! You cannot just…-” – He didn’t manage to finish his sentence, Alex had run out of the room and disappeared.

She ran down the dark halls of one of the central Gotham University buildings undressing as she ran. She had her Gotham Girl suit with her, she’d planned on dropping it off at Kate’s tonight after having forgotten it at her dorm after Mongolia. It was incomplete though, she was missing her boots and her mask.

Fuck it.

She got on her bike, happy the cold had scared off the usual crowds of students that would hang around the parking lot. The necklace Tim gave her was once again sitting uncomfortably against her collarbone under her suit. She inserted her ear pieces, Oracle was trying to contact her.

“Gotham Girl! There’s something happening in Crime Alley, there are cars driving into the neighbourhood, guns and bombs-” – Alex interrupted her.

“Who’s in Crime Alley right now?”

“Robin and Roc are on their way-” 

“Send Robin to my house right now! My dad’s in danger!” – Alex was driving off at great speeds, the cold hurt, her feet in converse sneakers freezing but she didn’t care, she could only think to get home as fast as she could.

-

“I’m so glad you’re back my boy, you don’t have to do this you know? I can get one of the kids from downstairs, one of Martha’s boys to come help me out…” – Miss Mae was happy to see Jason back, she’d worried when he’d disappeared. He’d been helping bring her groceries every few days since being back to Gotham, her hips struggled with the steep staircase leading up to her apartment. He’d now come to drop of a shop when he noticed her apartment was cold, her heater broken.

“Nonsense, I’m here already and you can’t spend another night like this…” – He was almost done unclogging a valve that’d hopefully lead to steam travelling through the pipes and warm up her home. Jason hated feeling cold, a reminder of all the harsh Gotham winters he’d spent on the streets. He liked it that Alex was always warm, her skin warmer than most since the Red-K.

“Tell me about Alex then, has she been kind to you?” – Mae asked sitting down by a chair close to him with difficulty.

“Yes Miss Mae, she… Did I tell you about Alex?” – He looked back at Mae confused, not remembering having told her about his relationship to Alex in any of his visits.

“Oh you always forget, I know everything that happens out in my streets Jason…” – She chuckled lightly and he smiled back, wiping off his hands on a cleaning cloth and standing up.

“Should be all good to go now, I’m sorry I can’t stay longer… There’s some stuff I need to do…” – It was going to be dark out soon, time for Red Hood to begin his patrol.

Jason had spent the afternoon running errands, the most important one was visiting Lexie at the Eagle. Alex’s friend, Lexie was a talented graphic designer who made a living off of creating any document you needed, she was always booked and busy, it was Crime Alley afterall. Jason needed fake documents if he were to stay in one place now, and Lexie was more than willing to help.

“I can issue fake ones no problem you know that, but they have a short lifespan you know? Like as soon as you get in trouble or some cop looks too close you’ll need a new one…” – She’d told him as he’d given her a list of what he’d need.

“What else do you suggest?” – He’d asked confused by what she meant.

“I can get you a new identity! I don’t do it for everyone and it’s not cheap but you’re Alex’s boyfriend, I’ll cut you a sweet deal and get you an identity you can keep for good.” – She’d said while focusing on scrubbing a workplace tag clean, the smell of acetone strong in the air of her cramped office.

“How is that any different than what I asked you?” – He asked looking around the messy piles of papers and school supplies, it was a surprisingly low tech business she ran.

“You asked me to print new documents with a new name and just stamp your face on it. They’ll be new, empty… What I can get you instead is the identity of someone who would be your age had they not died, you can take on their identity.” 

Jason had paused at her offer. It was enticing, taking on a whole new personality, not having to worry anymore about being a ghost in the system. It was also a haunting thought.

“Do you… Do you use the identity of people who died and… ‘Revive’ them?” – He asked cautiously.

“Uh-hum… Works really well I tell ya. I’m not the only one who does that, it’s… It’s a thing.” – She pushed a strand of her straight purple hair behind her ear and looked up at him.

He wondered for a moment whether that was something he wanted, to finally settle with one new identity and… Use it, use it for real… He also wondered whether Lexie or someone else had sold his identity to someone trying to escape their past. Was there another Jason Todd out there? Living? It upset him, he’d hoped foolishly at some point to be able to use his name, his real name again.

“I… I don’t think so. At least not now, but thanks I’ll… I’ll think about it.” 

“Okie dokie, will it be just Chris then?” – She asked turning back to scrubbing the name tag.

“Yeah… Chris will do.” – Jason replied absent minded.

-

Tim yawned when he thought Bernard wasn’t looking. He’d had a long night and Christmas presents shopping wasn’t exactly at the top of the list of things he wished he could be doing right now. He wanted to be with Bernard of course, he wished they could’ve just stayed in bed hiding away from the cold and the crowds but Bernard had insisted they go out together and Tim could never say no to his boyfriend.

“Ok I get the message, we can get a coffee before we continue.” – Said bernard winking at Tim and making him blush.

The two sat in a beautiful cafe inside one of Gotham’s biggest department stores. Tim remembered coming here once with Alex years ago when they were still kids. Tim had told her about the place, about the cafe on the third floor and the beautiful view you got of the park from up there. She’d wanted to look at the ornate furniture and mirrors covering the walls, see the art nouveau bar and drink from the fancy cups they served hot cocoa from. They’d both been turned away by security when they tried entering the building with skateboards in hand, scratched up knee and elbow pads. Alex still hadn’t been there all these years later, Tim made a mental note to bring her one of these days.

“What’s on your mind?” – Bernard asked putting down his cup of warm tea and resting his head on one hand.

“Wanting to do better…” – He said looking around him, why hadn’t he ever brought her here? Why hadn’t he taken her anywhere? 

“Tim… You do the best, every night, you…-” – Tim interrupted Bernard.

“No. Not that. I need to do better at being a friend. At being a boyfriend.” – He reached for Bernard’s hand and held it tightly. – “I’ve barely been here, I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth more times than I can recount and I… I’m just shit at this.”

“Tim… You have a lot on your plate, on your mind… I get it… I knew what I signed up for…”

“No. It’s not fair. I think… I think it’s the other way around… I fill up my plate, I focus on work because if I don’t I… I can’t deal…” – Tim looked sad, his blue eyes darting across the room remembering all the times he’d gotten a coffee here with his dad after school, or the times his mom had gotten him a slice of cake as a reward for being patient during a long day of holiday’s shopping just like today. 

Tim had expected to feel different as time went by. He’d hoped much of his mood swings and difficulty with being outside the Robin suit would subside as time went on, that he’d heal and find himself having less periods of understimulating, isolating, lonely stillness. Being Robin had been the best thing to ever happen to him, he just wasn’t to sure how to be Tim somedays. Time hadn’t healed him magically, it never would, he should’ve known… He’d realised recently he’d need to take matters into his own hands. Alex had done it, Damian had done it, hell, even Jason seemed to have done it and was doing better than any of the rest of them it seemed.

“I’m staying in Gotham, B.” – Tim said after a moment of reflective silence. – “I wanna be closer, constant. I wanna be your boyfriend more and I wanna be a better friend too.”

“What… What about the team? Aren’t you leading them?” – Bernard asked, still holding tightly onto Tim’s hand. He wanted him to stay, he wanted him to move in and for them to be together for real but he understood it might be too much to ask.

“They’ll figure it out… This matters more.” – He said smiling at Bernard, who couldn’t help but blush and smile back affectionately. 

-

The ride was bumpy, Melissa kept messing up the insertion, the sound of metal scrapping metal giving her shivers. These bullets had to be inserted one by one, loaded meticulously and with care. The metallic scraping bothered her, she tried to focus on the chatter in the back of the van. The men were riled up, it had been easy to convince them to take the job, most were still resentful of the way the men from Crime Alley had fought back that night over a year ago when she’d given the orders to exterminate all men they believed to be feeding Gotham Girl inside info on Fang’s operations.

“Jeez miss, how many more can you fit in there? You only got so much arm length…” – Said one of the gunmen sitting next to her.

“Just a few more. I need enough.” – She replied without looking at the ugly man, Melissa hated looking at ugly people.

Not ugly… Just a freak… – She thought looking down at her new arm. The metal was shiny, chrome, the finish expensive and polished. 

She finished loading bullets into her forearm and closed the small compartment, securing the bullets in and continued tinkering with it. The prosthetic arm was robotic, high tech, a weapon. She felt an itch, one she’d be unable to scratch. It happened often these days, better than the pain she’d felt at first. Winter had been a nightmare, plagued by ghost pains and an intense alienation from herself. She’d had a tattoo on her arm, right under the inside of her elbow, her brother’s birthday, the only family member she’d ever loved since their parent’s death. It was fitting that it had been erased, blown up with the explosion he’d set up to try and free her the same night he was shot dead by the man who’d taken them both in and raised them.

Melissa felt afraid. She’d felt afraid for a long time. She’d grown up with neverending luxury surrounding her, and the knowledge she’d one day have to do terrible things to maintain the lifestyle she’d grown used to, to keep the family name going. There was no way out of something like the Dodge clan, especially not when you had been born into it. The last year had been a scary blur, one where she’d repeatedly found herself begging to be taken seriously once more, to be taken back into the family. She hadn’t been exactly disowned, there was no such thing among Dodges, but rather executions of those unworthy of the name. Her maimed arm and all the information she’d gathered during her time in prison had protected her some, but time was ticking and Melissa had been more trouble than not. She knew she had very little time left, she had to prove herself, she had to save herself: a head for a head.

-

Jason had been struggling with the cold that night, struggling to stay out and patrol. It would be Christmas in a few days and it smelled like snow. He perched on top of a building close to the Castle and observed the comings and goings of Crime Alley. He spotted big vans and tactical cars pulling up aggresively to the streets, more than he could count. He watched for a moment in disbelief, struggling to map out the presence of all units. He noticed most cars heading a couple blocks south, towards the Orphanage – he ran.

There were men running out of the cars and into the orphanage, more men out on the streets harassing people, shoving them away and firing shots in the air. Jason was standing back and making a plan when he felt himself being observed. He turned and spotted a kid looking back at him, his head poking out of an open door on the side of the orphanage: Marcus, one of his students. 

“Pssst! Red Hood!” – The kid called out to him, Jason turned back and walked towards him. – “Come! I need your help!”

“Come on let’s go.” – Jason said as he approached the kid, wanting to get him away from the building, maybe he could take him to Mae’s.

He tried to lead the boy away from the building but he ran back inside. Jason stepped in and saw the boy running down a narrow staircase towards the basement.

“Kid!” – He said trying not to be too loud.

“We need your help Red Hood! My friends! They need your help!” – Marcus said before disappearing into the dark at the bottom of the stairs. Jason hesitated, feeling torn between following Marcus and running out to figure out what was happening. Marcus called him again, he followed him down.

The two ran down dark narrow hallways, the kid knew where he was going, turning corners fast. They eventually reached what Jason thought was a dead end. Many of the buildings in Crime Alley had connected basements, most of the nightclubs did at least. The new orphanage was no exception, tunnels ran underneath it, connecting it to the old orphanage. 

“I got some of my friends and ran down here to hide when we saw the cars but one of my friends got hurt, we need help!” – Marcus had said as he’d ran, Jason had followed despite being uncomfortable underground, it was dark and narrow, an earthy scent in the air that made him nauseous.

Marcus shoved an old crate to the side, revealing a passage through a wall. There was light on the other side, the two crouched and had barely made their way in when Jason heard rapid beeping. He instinctively grabbed Marcus and jumped away from where they were standing further into the room, shielding the kid with his frame. An explosion went off, covering the air with dust and collapsing the wall they’d just come in through. Jason’s hearing was ringing and his arms shaking, they were entombed. 

-

Tim’s fingers were tangled in Bernard’s hair, the golden locks he loved admiring in the early morning, when he’d sneak into bed after patrol before Bernard’s alarm clock would go off. Bernard’s hand was holding the back of Tim’s neck gently, his lips soft and parted. Tim had lost track of how much time they’d spent making out, he didn’t care how long it had been. They’d walked into Bernard’s apartment and started kissing, their shoes still on.

Tim lowered his hands and pulled Bernard’s waist closer towards his, holding him tightly against his own body. Their breathing was irregular, the kissing tender. Tim moved his kisses down to Bernard’s neck, taking his time planting soft slow kisses on his warm skin, the perfume he’d bought him smelling intoxicating, the taste of his skin addictive.

“Come on, let’s move to my-” – Bernard was interrupted not by Tim’s lips this time, but by something vibrating in Tim’s pocket, his watch flashing a bright lime green color.

“Oh fuck…” – Tim exclaimed looking down at his watch, disentangling from Bernard.

“Damn should’ve dragged you to my bed faster… Go ahead, go save the world, Robin!” – Bernard joked seeing the blur of Tim running to get into his suit. 

“Not the world!” – Tim said running past Bernard reaching for a glove. – “Just Gotham!”