Chapter Text
Hogwarts
May 16, 1975
Hermione met the grey eyes of Sirius and instantly felt the need to say something to him.
“Er, sorry, I just came down to sit by the fire for a little bit,” Hermione managed to squeak out. She prayed to merlin that he could not see her puffy red eyes and dried tears on her face.
Sirius was a bit startled to see Hermione coming down the stairs at this hour. He had just gotten back from sneaking out of the Ravenclaw dormitory and did not even think to use the map to see if anyone was in the common room at 2 a.m. He only used the map to avoid Filch and anyone else who might have caught him.
Sirius took a look at Hermione and saw that her eyes were very red and puffy. Not to mention how her hair was all skewed, tied up somehow with her wand. He liked the look of her unruly hair. Not to mention the sleepshorts she was wearing with a sweater with an ‘F’ on it. Realising he had not responded to her yet, “No problem, I was just uhh coming back from a late night stroll in the castle. Needed to clear my head.”
Sirius was most definitely not going to tell the pretty girl that he just had a heated snog session with a Ravenclaw after he needed to blow off some steam because of Remus reprimanding him.
Hermione, taking in Sirius's appearance, noticed his clothes in disarray; his Gryffindor sweater long forgotten, and his shirt unbuttoned to reveal a tiny glimpse of a very defined chest. No. She would not go there right now. Merlin, what was wrong with her? She just relived the worst night of her life, and she is standing there gawking at Harry’s Godfather!
She huffed a laugh, “Really? A Walk? You seem like you just got back from a broom closet rendezvous.”
Sirius slightly blushed, “Nope,” emphasising the ‘p’. “I needed a breather from the common room, so I took a long walk around the grounds.”
Hermione put on a tiny smile, deciding to give Sirius the benefit of the doubt. She knew Sirius pretty well in the 90s. He confided in her and Harry about his messed-up family and how he was ashamed he had not matured sooner. He blamed himself for what happened to Lily and James. He was consumed with guilt. Sirius told Hermione only bits and pieces about what it was like to be the Black heir. He told Harry a lot, which Harry later relayed to Hermione and Ron. He constantly did everything and anything to go against his family. Getting tattoos, being licentious, never taking the Dark Mark, wanting to be disowned, and most of all fighting for the Order because he wanted to do something good.
Hermione thought over the past two days of her interactions with Sirius and compared him to the man she once knew. Even though that was not fair to Sirius and he still had a lot of growing up to do, she could not fathom how this crass and egotistical version of Sirius turned into the man who died for Harry because he was the very person Sirius loved most in the world.
Hermione cleared her throat, “Yes, I get that, I er, well, I am just going to sit here for a little bit. Couldn’t really sleep, and the fire I was hoping would help. So I uhh goodnight Black.”
The sound of his surname felt odd coming from Hermione, but Sirius did not really blame her. He was smart enough to know she had some sort of nightmare. Sirius got them too. Trying to muster up enough self-courage to admit he was wrong. Sirius sighed, “Look, um Granger, er Hermione, is it alright if I call you that? You don’t have to call me Sirius or anything if you don’t want to, I get it–
Hermione gave a tiny laugh, “Yes, it is ok if you call me Hermione, it is my name after all.”
Sirius cleared his throat and swiped his palm down his trousers. Merlin, when did his hand start sweating this much when he talked to a witch? “Right, well, do you wanna sit down?” Hermione gave a sceptical nod and followed Sirius to the couch in front of the fire. She grabbed a spare blanket, ironically Sirius’s favourite blanket, and curled herself onto the sofa like she had done it a million times.
Sirius ran his hands through his hair, “I am sorry Hermione.”
Hermione’s eyebrows rose to her hairline. She thought Sirius was just going to talk about nothing of importance or make some crude joke. She only sat with him because she thought it would help get her mind off her nightmare, well, flashback. She nodded for him to continue.
Sirius looked into her firewhiskey coloured eyes and continued, “I was a right arse to you from the beginning. While I will not apologise for flirting with a pretty bird such as yourself, I was completely out of line doing so in front of Cromwell and embarrassing you. I get it if you are still right pissed at me, but I just wanted to apologise if I made your first few days here harder than they should have been.”
Sirius did not want to bring up what she went through in France because he, himself, was extremely private when it came to his own family life. And the abuse he received as a child. The only people who knew were his best mates. And not even then did he ever go into detail about what a psychotic family he came from. Partly because he was worried they would judge him, or even worse, pity him. He liked his reputation he had at Hogwarts. He had a witches lining up to be with him, he was stellar at Quidditch, and he pulled the best pranks at Hogwarts.
Hermione was gobsmacked that Sirius actually apologised and was so sincere about it. She saw a glimpse of the man she once knew. It made her feel a little bit better, especially after the night she had had. “Thank you Black, that actually means more than you know. I had a rough evening and this actually helped quite a bit.”
Sirius gave her a pensieve look, “I get that, I have had some rough nights here too when I was younger.”
Hermione knew that soon Sirius would be disowned by his family. She remembered him saying it happened over the summer between his fourth and fifth year. She assumed he was already anxious to go home for the summer. He once told Harry that when he felt lonely, especially after Regulus stopped speaking to him, he would go up to the Astronomy tower to look at the stars. Despite Sirius hating his family, he always loved his name. He loved that stupid pun he would say for years, ‘I am always Sirius’. Sirius told Harry that looking for the constellation of his namesake brought him comfort. Stargazing was something he and Regulus did together when they were young at Grimmauld Place, before he became a Gryffindor and Regulus became a Slytherin.
She wondered if that was what Sirius was doing tonight and decided to ask him. “Forgive me if I am being too forward, but is that why you were out walking tonight?”
Sirius winced a little, forgetting that he told the tiniest little fib to her. He was not going to admit he lied. Especially after she accepted his apology besides she would never find out. “Oh, er, yeah. Exams are coming up, and I needed a fag. They always help with the stress of studying. I took a quick stroll through the castle.” Sirius hoped he played it off well, and she could not tell he was lying.
Hermione smiled. She liked this Sirius. Not the crude and over-the-top Sirius. She gave a tiny yawn, “Well, this certainly helped. Thank you for apologising.”
Sirius grinned up at her as she got up from the sofa. “Yeah of course sorry about being a git. Well uh, hopefully we could maybe start by being friends?”
Hermione looked at the grey eyes that were filled with sincerity, “I’d like that.” She made her way towards the stairs, leaving Sirius on the couch before she turned over her shoulder, “Goodnight, Sirius.”
Sirius beamed at the sound of his first name out of her mouth, “Goodnight, Kitten.” He replied with a wink, and in turn, he received a playful eyeroll. He stretched out on the sofa, very pleased with himself. Not only did Hermione want to be friends with him or at least try to start a friendship, but he apologised, and Moony would not be on his arse anymore. It turned out to be a pretty great night for Sirius. He felt a tad guilty telling the little white lie to her, but it’s not like it's any of her business where he was. Sure, lying to her after apologising was not a great way to start a friendship, but it was only a tiny white lie. Besides, Sirius still wanted to get to know the pretty bird more, and he assumed she would be turned off by the knowledge that he came from Ravenclaw dormitory.
Sirius got up and headed towards his dorm to get some much-needed sleep. He carefully put the map and cloak back into James’s trunk and passed out on his bed.
The next morning, Hermione felt much better. After her brief conversation with Sirius, she felt lighter. Her dormmates were getting ready for the day to head down to breakfast.
After her, Lily, Alice, and Mary were all ready to go to Sunday breakfast, they decided to head down together, except for Dorcas, who had already left to meet up with her friends. Hermione gave Lily a small smile and thanked her for her note. Lily was ecstatic that the note helped, and invited her to study with her and Severus after breakfast.
Mary gave a slight smirk, “Oh Lily, let the poor girl do something other than just study while she is here at Hogwarts, honestly, you’re going to make her think we're all boring swots.” Lily rolled her eyes and gave Mary a playful shove.
Alice gave a little giggle as well, “Lily, we know how much you love to study, but Mary is right, how about we have a girls’ day in the common room or dorm? Read magazines, and Mary was telling me she has some Muggle facemasks she got from her mom on Saturday!”
Mary nodded and proceeded to tell all the girls about the care package her mother sent her over the weekend. Mary’s mother was a beautician in the Muggle world, and her father works as an Auror at the Ministry of Magic. Lily completely forgot all about studying, wanting to join in on the girls' day.
“Well, that does sound like a lot of fun, but I really want to make sure I am completely caught up with all of my assignments by tomorrow, so I might just head on overto the library after breakfast,” Hermione added in sheepishly. Hermione caught Lily’s eye, who seemed like she was about to ask if Hermione wanted her to join her, but Hermione gave the tiniest shake, trying to indicate she wanted to be alone for a little while.
Lily understood immediately and gave her a reassuring nod, “No worries, Hermione! We can do something later and meet up for lunch or dinner!”
Hermione was grateful to have a new friend who understood her as Ginny did. Ginny always knew when Hermione needed space or when she needed a shoulder to cry on. After Remus confronted her, the nightmare, and her talk with Sirius, she was feeling quite overwhelmed and desperately needed some time to herself in her favourite corner of the library.
The girls sat down for breakfast, and as soon as they were seated, they all turned their heads to loud laughter and conversation at the doors of the Great Hall. The four Marauders were making their way in for breakfast and sat down right next to the four girls.
Each party said good morning and respectful hellos until Sirius decided to let everyone know about his new friendship with the pretty witch.
“Good morning Kitten!” Sirius beamed from his spot. Firewhiskey eyes shot directly to him and gave him a playful eyeroll and in turn said, “Good morning Sirius.”
The friends surrounding them were nothing short of stunned by Hermione and Sirius interacting politely and Hermione calling Sirius by his first name. Each respective group’s eyes kept darting between the two of them, all with confused expressions on their faces.
James was utterly confused about how the tiny witch went from giving Sirius a look that could kill to saying good morning and using his first name! James was the first to break the silence, “Er that was weird. Didn’t you want to kill him less than twenty-four hours ago Granger?”
Hermione shrugged, “I absolutely did. And please call me Hermione, James. But Sirius apologised to me last night, so I decided to throw him a bone.” Hermione smirked as James’s jaw fell open and Remus spit out his pumpkin juice.
Sirius waggled his eyebrows; the little witch did not know how accurate the statement was. He hid his smirk and met the eyes of his werewolf friend, who seemed proud that Sirius got his head out of his arse and apologised to Hermione.
James clapped Sirius on the back, “Nice job Pads! See Lily, we are a mature group of young wizards!’ Lily rolled her eyes and continued to eat her breakfast, not giving James the time of day.
Lily was happy Sirius apologised to Hermione. Did she still think he was an immature toe-rag? Yes of course, all of them were besides Remus and Peter. Although seeing James be proud of Sirius for apologising gave Lily a funny feeling, one she did not like. She shook her head and returned to her breakfast.
Sirius was very happy. Not only were his friends not giving him the disappointed McGonagall look, but the girls were pleased with his actions too. The remainder of breakfast went on very smoothly. The girls mostly kept to themselves and chatted while Sirius and his mates discussed Quidditch.
Everything was going great. Until a certain blonde in a Ravenclaw jumper made her way over to the Gryffindor table.
“Sirius!”
Sirius groaned internally. He was absolutely fucked. He looked up, and he realised he had about .2 seconds to make it out of the Great Hall. He tried to get up only to be confronted by the blonde, Marlene McKinnon.
Sirius looked up to meet the eyes of Marlene, “Oh Sirius, I am so glad I caught you! Here,” She held out her hand to give Sirius his Gryffindor sweater.
‘Fuck me’, Sirius thought. He quickly snatched the sweater from the Ravenclaw, hoping the little brunette witch at the table did not notice.
Marlene, the dumbest Ravenclaw to exist, did not take the hint that he wanted her to leave continued, “You left this in my room last night, and I wanted to make sure you got it back before classes tomorrow.” She smiled sweetly at Sirius, knowing very well what she was doing. Dorcas told Marlene all about Sirius being infatuated with the new witch in their house. Marlene wanted the girl to know that Sirius may be with lots of girls, but she was the only one he truly ever dated and came back to.
Sirius winced as soon as Marlene mentioned last night. He looked to see those firewhiskey eyes. He expected anger; instead he saw those eyes filled with hurt.
Marlene McKinnon skipped off toward the Ravenclaw table. Hermione knew she had no right to be upset over Sirius lying to her about a girl. But she came back here to save fucking everyone, so yes, she was very upset. The fact that he lied to her did not sit well with her at all. He apologised and even suggested being friends!
Hermione stood from the table all the sudden, losing her appetite. As she got up, the girls gave her concerned and confused looks. She waved them off, saying she needed to head to the library.
Sirius, seeing Hermione get up, immediately cursed himself for lying and then getting caught in the lie. He got up to follow her as she made it halfway out of the Great Hall and grabbed her arm, “Hermione, wait, I am sorry I lied, but honestly, it is none of your business who I am with or what I am doing!”
‘Shite’, Sirius thought. He meant that to come out way better than it did.
Hermione recoiled instantly, “It is not about who you were with or what you were doing. It is the fact that you straight-up lied to me. You apologised, and I accepted it, and then you asked if we could maybe be friends. Friends don’t lie to each other Black.”
Sirius flinched at the sound of his surname again. He returned to the table to his mates. The girls had gotten up and left, Lily calling him a toe-rag as she passed by him. Mary shoulder-knocked him as she passed, and Alice gave him a disappointed look.
Sirius huffed a breath as he sat down, “Honestly, it was a tiny white lie! It’s not like it’s any of her business what or who I am doing!”
Peter muttered, “Damnit, Sirius.”
James rolled his eyes, “Padfoot, I am awful at girls, but I would hope to think I am a good friend. And lying to her face is not what friends do, mate.” Peter nodded to what James was telling Sirius.
Remus sighed, “Look Pads, I know it took a lot for you to already apologise to her, but from what I know of Hermione is that she does not have anyone she can really, really trust right now. You made her feel embarrassed that she trusted you and your apology, and then found out in front of all of us that you lied to her. Even if it isn’t any of her business! Finding out that you lied in front of all of her new housemates sucks.”
Remus was the only one of them to know Hermione’s secret. Remus knew that Hermione was probably feeling ashamed as well because she was lying too. While most people would call her a hypocrite for lying to everyone here and, in turn, getting upset that Sirius lied to her, Remus understood that she had to lie for the safety of the Wizarding World. If Voldemort ever knew that she was from the future, he would kill her and everyone she loved.
Sirius, already being on edge from the past twenty-four hours, did not need another lecture from his friends. He knew he fucked up, but he was too proud to admit it right now. He turned to Remus, “What you know of Hermione? Are you sure you lot were just coincidentally ‘stuck’ in that closet and not getting cosy with our new classmate Moony?” Remus just rolled his eyes and returned to his breakfast. “Whatever, I am going to go flying,” Sirius muttered and headed off to the Quidditch pitch.
James, Remus, and Peter all watched their best mate stomp off. They all knew that Sirius never liked being wrong. The boys at the table knew that Sirius needed some time to himself to get his feelings in order. Sirius was a private person when it came to things like this. Up until now, Sirius’s whole demeanour has been flirty and cocky.
James stood, “Hey Wormtail, wanna head over to the library to study transfiguration?” Peter nodded and got up to follow James and turned to Remus, “Wanna come to Remus?” Remus shook his head, telling them that he needed to lie down. Peter and James remembered the full moon coming up in the week and nodded.
Peter and James made their way to the Marauder’s favourite table. It was a table that most or almost all students did not know about. It was in the quietest corner of the library, and Sirius found it in their second year. It had become their go-to table because it was the furthest from Madam Pince. So they would never get into too much trouble when being too loud or planning any pranks.
James was talking animatedly about Quidditch when they stumbled upon a small brunette witch who was entirely focused on her homework.
“Er, hi Granger,” Peter started, which appeared to startle Hermione.
“Oh, um, hi guys,” this was surprising to Hermione that 1. The Marauders study on the weekends and 2. Peter and James found her favourite table.
“Hey!” James greeted, “You found the Marauder table!” Hermione gave him a confused expression, in which continued, “Padfoot found this table in our second year, and we named it the Marauder table!”
Hermione groaned internally, “Oh, um, well, I will gather my things and leave you guys to it.” Hermione began to pack up her things when Peter interjected.
“No problem Hermione, if you want to stay, you’re more than welcome to,” Peter told her rather sheepishly. Peter was a little bit awkward when it came to witches. James and Sirius had half their year pining after them, and Remus was coined the quiet and handsome one. Peter was just Peter to the witches at Hogwarts.
James agreed with his mate, “Absolutely Hermione! Besides, you will be staying with my family over the summer once Uncle Al has an assignment, so we might as well get to know each other.” Hermione gave a tight-lipped smile to the pair, although she did want to start her plan of saving Peter, she just wanted some time to herself this afternoon.
She sat back down while the boys took out their homework. In all honesty, Hermione was a little grateful that James and Peter found her. After her nightmare of staring at Harry’s dead body, she was able to look at his father, who was basically his twin, full of life. It gave her a sense of comfort knowing that her past will never become their future, hopefully.
The trio sat in silence for the majority of their studying, which surprised Hermione. She knew that James would become Head Boy eventually and that he must have been quite smart. Peter, however, seemed to struggle with his homework; he must have been too shy to ever admit he needed help to his friends. Hermione decided to start her plan: Save Peter right now.
She looked up to see his brow furrowed in confusion on his transfiguration homework, “Peter, if you need any help, I would be more than happy to give you a hand.” Peter looked up with a sense of relief across his features. He moved around the table to sit next to Hermione. She noted that he was smart but could not understand Professor McGonagall’s teaching habits.
The trio studied together for a while until James’s stomach started to grumble and he left to go get food in the Great Hall, leaving Hermione alone with Peter.
Peter was thankful to Hermione and offered to help him with his homework. His friends were all brilliant, and he felt insecure that his grades never lived up to theirs. Even Sirius, who barely studied or did his homework, was one of the top students in their year.
The pair stayed silent for a little while after Hermione led him on the right track for his assignment, until Peter decided to break the awkward silence, “Thank you er for helping me Hermione. Sometimes I really cannot understand what half of the Professors are saying, but the way you explained helped more than you know. It just comes so easily to the other guys that asking for help is embarrassing.”
Hermione realised that Peter was a very impressionable teen; no wonder he fell into the wrong crowd. He was extremely insecure amongst his friends, so he grew to resent them for his own insecurities instead of mustering up the courage to just ask for help.
“Of course Peter, one of my friends at my old school, constantly asked me to do his homework, so I am happy that someone actually wants help instead of me doing it for them,” Hermione smiled.
Peter huffed a laugh, “Yeah, that would be easier, ha, but I want to learn. I just get embarrassed to ask for help, so Gryffindor right?” He winced as soon as he said it. Peter didn’t know why he just admitted that to Hermione. He never told anyone about it, but for some reason, it felt like the right thing to do.
Hermione felt shockingly bad for Peter. She knew Ron was brilliant, but he also had a hard time focusing on doing his homework. Ron never felt insecure enough to not ask her for help though.
“Well, how about you and I can do homework together for the rest of the term? It would be nice to get to know each other, and I could use someone to remind me to leave the library so I don’t accidentally sleep here again, ha.”
“Again?”
Bugger, Hermione thought. “Oh, I just mean at Beauxbaton’s, I fell asleep in the library all the time, and the librarian woke me up, quite embarrassing actually.” Hoping Peter believed her, she met his eyes, and he gave a slight nod and returned to his homework.
After a few minutes, Peter finished his homework and went to join James to get some food. He thanked Hermione again for her help and took her up on her offer to do homework together on Tuesday evenings while Sirius and James had Quidditch practice.
Hermione finished all of her makeup assignments, happy with her work, she decided to grab Hogwarts, A History and read until the sun was almost beginning to slowly set.
Hermione groaned, remembering she skipped another meal. She was already quite thin from her previous year on the run. She would stop by the kitchens for some dinner on her way back to the common room.
Hermione grabbed all of her things and put them into her bag. She thought about her day, and she felt a tad guilty ditching the girls, but spending the day with James and Peter somehow did make her feel a bit better.
Hermione made her way to the library exit and bumped into someone. Hermione quickly apologised and looked up to a pair of steel grey eyes. Why were all the boys in the 1970s so damn tall! Hermione thought.
“No worries, you must be the pretty bird I heard about who handed my brother’s arse to him this morning,” the boy smirked.
Hermione’s jaw slackened.
Regulus Arcturus Black.