Chapter Text
He has the director pull some strings and gets approved leave, ostensibly to visit with his son for a few weeks, but also so he can tell Olivia what's going on. She's the only one he trusts. Even after the divorce, she's kept his secret. The only point of contention they really had was custody. Her job and both their families are in Georgia. John is the one that wants to be in New York. If he wants to see his son, he has to be the one to make time.
John calls ahead to let her know, and once he affirms he isn't interrupting any major plans, he tells the team. Their reactions are mostly bland, joking about him shirking his duty, but all of them are aware of how important family is, so they don't give him too hard of a time.
Bucky is the only one who seems… not upset- he understands John's connection to his child and ex-wife as well as anyone- but like he'll actually miss John. Not just because John is taking his regular source of sex- Bucky could get that anywhere, John’s honest with himself about that- but like he'll miss the man himself.
The night before John is due to get on a plane, Bucky spends the evening peeling John's clothes off piece-by-piece and then taking him apart with fingers, then mouth, then finally on his cock.
Bucky touches him like he's trying to memorize the feeling of John's skin and imprint himself there at the same time. It’s slow and sweet and painful in a way that it never has been between them before. After, he falls asleep pressed to John’s back, arm wrapped around his waist, hand pressed to John’s chest.
The next morning, he takes John to the airport and wishes him a good trip. John thanks him and gets on the plane without looking back. It’s one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do.
Olivia picks him up with their son. John spends several minutes just cradling Daniel in his arms, nose buried in his hair, taking in his scent right outside Arrivals. “Thank you for bringing,” John chokes out. He’d missed his baby.
She smiles at him, takes his duffle, and lets him carry their son to the car. They talk idly on the way to the house. John doesn’t want to spring this kind of news on her while she’s driving. Once there, they settle Daniel in for a nap, and then themselves in the living room.
“I’m pregnant,” he says without any preamble. There isn’t really a good way to say it, a way to lead into it, so he figures just ripping off the band-aid will have to do.
Olivia is surprised, of course she is. John had told her all those years ago what had happened to him- what his parents had let happen to him- and comforted over never being able to carry a child of his own. Except, now he could. “How?”
He tells her the doctor’s working theory.
“Oh, John.” She lays a hand on top of his. “You’re keeping it?” He nods. “I appreciate you telling me in person.” Olivia isn’t upset, he thinks. Wistful, maybe. She’d loved Lemar, too. Had been devastated by the same news that they had. “And the father?”
This is the hard part.
“He doesn’t know.”
“John!” She’s not scandalized, exactly, but family has always been important to him. “Why haven’t you told him?”
His fingers twist in his lap. “We’re not exactly… together.”
She listens to him, only interrupting to ask a clarifying question here or there. At the end, she asks: “You don’t think a man like that wouldn't want to know he’s a father?”
“I don’t think he wants to be a father with me.”
“John.” She says it just once, reprimanding. “He has a right to know.”
He buries his face in his hands. “Fuck, I know. But every time I imagine it, all I see is disgust at the idea of procreating with me.”
Olivia gazes at him thoughtfully. “I think you might be underestimating his affection for you.”
John snorts. “What affection?”
She shrugs a shoulder. “He just doesn’t seem like the type of man to continue sleeping with someone he hates.”
“You don’t know Bucky.”
“I don’t. Not like you,” she adds with a sly smile. “But I know you. And I know what he’s done for this world. What he’s sacrificed for it. I don’t think a man that can do all that would be the type to engage in casual sex with someone he hates. At least, not for such a long time.”
He just gives her a look, which she laughs at, but drops the subject.
John stays for a month, during which he periodically texts the team’s group chat with updates and photos. They all send back silly faces or thumbs up and a few times even short videos of someone doing something stupid at the Tower that raises John’s blood pressure, but makes him smile all the same.
He misses them, but he can’t go back. Not until he’s had this child and goes back on his blockers and suppressants.
At around the one month mark, they start making noises about him coming back, and he deflects. Eventually, he says he can’t come back right away, he’s being sent on a solo mission for a little while. It happens every so often, so the team doesn’t question it.
Bucky texts him separately. Do you want back-up?
John smiles at the text. I’ll be fine, he sends back and leaves it at that.
What he actually does is look for a house to live in. He can’t keep living off of Olivia as much as she says he’s not imposing. It’s nice to have Daniel so close, and part of him hates how him moving out again will affect his son, but Olivia has her own life to live and John needs to let her.
He finds a nice apartment at a reasonable price not far away though, and since Olivia is still working, he can easily drive over any time to take care of their son while she’s out.
Time slows. He does take on a few simple missions while he’s away. Simple recon on some nearby facilities where his Omega pheromones actually work for him instead of against him. Who would suspect a pregnant Omega of spying?
Suddenly, it’s been nearly three months since his team has seen him in person. He tapers off answering his teammates texts and calls, citing being busy as an excuse, but the reality is it’s getting harder to explain his extended absence. No one else has been gone so long before.
But he can’t go back. Everyday it’s getting more and more obvious that he’s an Omega and pregnant. Any Alpha would be able to tell at the most casual of sniffs. Most give him a confused look as his appearance is a far cry from the typical Omega, even a male one.
Around month four, they start threatening to come find him, despite his reassurances that he’s fine. He considers showing up, maybe staying for a few days before he’s “called away” again for some reason. There are scent blockers he could wear, but what if Bucky expected sex from him? There isn’t really a reasonable explanation for why his body suddenly became self-lubricating, other than the obvious.
In the end, he decides to chance it for a day. He piles on the blockers, puts on his baggiest clothes, and deliberately doesn’t tell anyone he’s coming. Amazingly, he gets lucky. There’s no one there when he gets to the Tower. Apparently, some giant squid thing is threatening the citizens off the coast of New Jersey and they’ve been called away. It doesn’t seem too serious- apparently the squid is more confused than interested in harming anyone, so he moves some things around, collects a few clothes and other sundries from his room, and takes a picture to send to his teammates saying he’s sorry he missed them.
He gets a text from Bucky, but doesn’t see it until he lands in Atlanta.
What the fuck are you playing at, John? Come back.
Sighing, he opts to call Bucky instead of texting. He answers on the second ring. “Walker,” Bucky says like an epithet.
“Good to hear from you too, Bucky,” he replies, forcing joviality into his voice.
“Don’t play games with me, John.” A shiver runs down John’s back despite the threat in Bucky’s voice. The growls almost the same as those Bucky was sometimes reduced to when he was fucking John.
He clears his throat. “I’m not playing any games.”
“You smell different.”
That shocks John. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that your scent’s different. Earthier.”
John pulls his phone away from his ear and stares at it in surprise. He’d only been at the Tower for a few hours, and it’d been months since he’d been in the same room as Bucky before that. Did the other man really remember what John smelled like?
“John.” Bucky’s tinny voice brings John out of his stupor.
“Yeah, I’m here. I don’t know what to tell you.” He rubs at a spot under the hinge of his jaw, realizing he’d forgotten to take his patch off and it was beginning to itch. “Maybe you’re remembering wrong.”
Bucky snorts into his ear. “No way.”
“Look, I gotta go,” John says, desperate to get off the call. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“John, don’t you fucking hang up on me.”
“Bye, Bucky!”
“Joh-!” He hands up before Bucky can start yelling.
Stepping outside, he hails a cab and gets a ride back to his apartment, texting Olivia that he’ll be home in a few hours.
The next day, he has an appointment with Dr. Michaels. They’ve been following the pregnancy closely. Even though John had stopped his suppressants and the hormones immediately, they were both concerned about possible complications. So far, everything is going well- for which John is grateful- but he feels better with the weekly check-up.
When he gets home a couple hours later, he’s tired. Dr. Michaels had said that would probably happen- all of his body’s resources were going towards making a baby after all. He’s tired enough to not realize that the kitchen light is on when he’d made sure to turn it off before he’d left.
“What the fuck is going on?”
Bucky’s voice sends a jolt through him and John is suddenly very much awake. “Bucky?! What the hell are you doing here?” Shit, John doesn’t have any scent-blocking patches on. He isn’t hiding his pregnancy here, as the only places he goes are to Olivia’s or to see his doctor. And even when people recognize him, it’s like they second-guess what they’re seeing. There’s no way US Agent could be an Omega.
A muscle in Bucky’s jaw twitches. “I came to find you. You smelled off at the Tower, and sounded even more off on the phone.”
John sets his keys down on the table. “How did you find me?”
“Heard the announcements over the phone from the airport. Figured out you were in Georgia, then I looked up Olivia.” He has the grace to look a little guilty. “I went there first.”
John rubs at a spot between his eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t scare the shit out of my ex-wife.”
“No!” Buck hurries to assure him. “I watched the house for an hour or so, but it didn’t seem like you were living there, so I…” He cuts off suddenly.
“What?” The word is clipped short by John’s irritation. He’s achy and desperately wants a nap. Instead, he sheds his jacket and hangs it in the closet, stepping out of sight for a moment. Footsteps follow him.
“You’re an Omega.”
Fuck. John had been hoping Bucky would take longer to put it all together. He sighs. “You’re only just now noticing?”
Bucky prowls closer. “At first I thought the smell was because you were shacking up with an Omega.” His jaw clenched. “But you are the Omega. How?”
“The usual way,” John says, eyeing the gap between Bucky and the rest of the hallway that led to his bedroom. “I presented at sixteen,” he adds like a gift.
“Why have I never smelled it on you before?”
“Because I didn’t want you to,” John snaps, hands on hips.
Bucky’s brow furrows. “But you never got wet when we-”
“Oh my god, stop!” John exclaims, embarrassed. He covers his face with his hands. “Will you leave if I tell you everything?”
“Not a chance,” Bucky says from much closer than he’d been a moment ago. Fingers- one set warm, the other cool- circle his wrists and pull his hands away from his face. “You don’t smell just like an Omega, John.” Blue eyes bore into his. “You smell like a pregnant Omega.”
“Shit.”
The fingers tighten minutely. “Whose is it?”
John eyes him desperately, willing the other man to get it without him having to say it out loud. Hoping that he won’t, and that John can keep this secret for a while longer. Maybe forever.
“John.” Disbelief colors Bucky’s voice. “Please tell me you didn’t let some other Alpha knock you up.”
“It could have been a Beta.”
Bucky’s eyes flash. For a moment, John considers saying more. Yes, Bucky, there is in fact someone who likes John for who he is, who’s willing- who wants- to have a child with John. It’s on the tip of his tongue.
Then Bucky says: “Please tell me I didn’t fuck up everything between us so badly you ran off to be with someone else,” in a voice thick with something John can’t name.
That brings John up short. “What do you mean?”
Bucky stares at him, disbelief coloring his expression. “John, you have to know I care about you.”
“Fuck you,” John says after several seconds of stunned silence. He rips his arms out of Bucky’s hold.
“What?” Bucky stares after him in confusion as John pushes his way past him and back to the kitchen.
Needing something to do with his hands, he grabs a glass from the cabinet and then a tray of ice cubes. “Just fuck you.” He slams the tray on the kitchen counter, whirling around to face the other man. “No, I didn't know that. For fuck's sake Bucky, we only started fucking because of my stupid, fucking mouth’s inability to keep itself shut.”
“I didn't have to say yes,” Bucky reminds him.
“And that's the other thing!” John hurls accusingly. “Why the fuck would you say yes to that?” He turns back to the ice cubes, popping a few out into a glass, then shoving the tray back into the freezer.
“Because I wanted to?”
John isn't sure if the question at the end is for Bucky, or for John. “What's that supposed to mean?” He fills his glass with water from the tap.
Behind him, Bucky sighs. “I mean, I wanted to. We weren't exactly friends then,” John tries not to wince there, even though it's the truth. “But you're attractive, I trust you, and honestly? It'd been a while.”
Slowly, John turns back around. “You trust me?”
Bucky studies him for a moment, like he’s trying to figure what kind of weight John is giving his words. “Yeah, John. I trust you.”
“Even after…” He gestures to himself, encompassing his slightly more softened body.
“Yeah, even after.”
There's no lie in Bucky’s gaze, just a sort of quiet, steadfast devotion.
“Why?”
“Because I know that whatever reason you had for hiding, it wasn't out of malice.” Bucky shuffles closer. “I've seen the world already try to hammer you down, use you and then throw you away, and that was without anyone knowing you're an Omega.” He's almost within touching distance now. “Even after all that, you still try to do good. That's the man I believe in.”
John’s mind is scrambling. “And now? I mean I get why you said yes the first time, but after that?”
Bucky lifts his shoulders in a slight shrug. “Because we were way more compatible than I thought we’d be. Because being with you turned out to be easy. And then it simply became because I like you and want to be near you as much as you’d let me.”
Embarrassingly, John feels tears begin to gather at the corners of his eyes. He blames the pregnancy hormones. “I didn't- it wasn't on purpose.”
“I know, baby,” Bucky says, achingly soft, and wraps his arms around the Omega.
John buries his face into his neck. “It's yours,” he manages to squeeze out before the tears overwhelm him. “The baby is yours.”
Bucky holds onto him tighter.
John doesn't know how long they stand there in the kitchen, Bucky’s arms wrapped securely around him while John sobs his shame and relief away. Eventually, the tears slow, then stop, and John gains enough control to finally drink the water he'd gotten for himself- almost like he'd known he was going to need it.
They relocate to the living room, Bucky pulling John with him, obviously reluctant to let John out of his reach. There on the couch, John’s back tucked against Bucky’s front, he spills the whole sordid story, and Bucky learns how deep the military’s betrayal runs toward John.
He also learns that he might have super sperm.
“Of course you'd focus on that part,” John says with a roll of his eyes that Bucky can't see, but definitely hears.
Bucky presses his lips to the nape of John's neck. “Mostly I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that you're carrying my child.” The reminder that this was all new to the other man causes John to tense. Just a little, but it's enough for Bucky to notice. “What is it?”
Slowly- reluctantly- John extricates himself from Bucky's grip, though he doesn't go far. He just wants to see Bucky’s face when he asks his next question. “Um, are you really okay with that?”
“Okay with what?” Bucky’s features show only confusion at his question.
“That I'm the one carrying your child.”
“Yes.”
John blinks at the ease of the answer. “Really?”
Bucky takes one of John's hands in both of his. “I never thought I'd get to have kids of my own. Maybe once, before…” Bucky trails off, but John knows the Alpha well enough to hear the unspoken part. Before he'd been turned into the Winter Soldier. “And even though I'm free from the trigger words, a part of me is still scared that he's still in there somewhere.”
John’s hand tightens over his. “Bucky…”
“But you make me feel like it's okay. Like even if he is, I know you'd never let anything happen to our kids.” He squeezes John’s hand. “You’d keep them safe, even from me, because that’s the kind of man you are.”
John warms under the praise. Hang on. “Kids?”
Bucky suddenly looks a little unsure. “Ah, I know it’s not really my place, but I’ve always kind of hoped you’d introduce me to Daniel one day as more than just a teammate.”
Feeling stunned at the revelation that the Alpha wants to be part of his and Olivia’s son’s life, he can’t do more than ask “You want to be a part of Daniel’s life?”
“Yeah.” Bucky nods seriously. “If you and Olivia are okay with it.” Seeing that John still seems unsure, he hurries to explain. “Of course, I don’t expect him to see me as a father- he already has you- but maybe Uncle Bucky? One day?”
A strained chuckle escapes John. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
“I- I’m sorry?”
“Don’t be.” John darts forward, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s mouth. “There’s not a lot of Alphas that’d be okay with their Omega having a kid with someone else.”
Bucky eyes him like he’s insane. “That’s stupid. He’s a part of you, of course I’d love him, too.” Then, it’s his turn to freeze. “Did you just say you’re my Omega?”
“Uh…” John hadn’t meant to say it like that, it had just slipped out.
A warm hand cups his face. “Because I would really like that.”
Relief floods his system. “Me too,” he says, and then the hand is bringing him in for a lingering kiss.
This time, when John feels tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, he knows they’re from happiness.