Chapter Text
You awaken to the faint light of the sunrise falling through half-closed curtains.
The silence permeating the house tells you that you’ve managed to wake up before everyone else again. Blinking the tiredness in your eyes away, you can see that you’re still in the living room on the couch. Undyne lies in front of it spooning Alphys, while Papyrus has managed to sprawl himself over the entire rest of the available space between couch and TV, arms and legs splayed wide open. He looks like an oversized child lying like that, even if he’s anything but. It still surprises you, how cute such a tall skeleton can be. Especially with how intimidating he seemed at first.
You then become aware of your own position. Your feet rest against something warm and squishy on the couch - probably Dolores. Your head lies on something even warmer, but hard and pokey. Oh man. Of course. There's just one option left as to who that could be.
Carefully, you sit up on the couch, extracting your toes from underneath Dolores’ legs. She's fallen asleep upright, her head resting against the back of the couch, mouth slightly open. On your other side, Sans is slumped over the armrest, curled up into a ball with his knees drawn almost all the way up to his jawbone. From the indentation in his jacket, you must have been lying on his ribs. No wonder that felt so pokey. You're glad he's wearing his hoodie, that might have been really uncomfortable otherwise. Although you have to admit his warmth was very soothing to lie on. Your cheek feels a bit cold now without it.
Did you fall asleep on him right away? Man, you hope not, he'd never let you hear the end of it. You’re a little bit embarrassed for snuggling up on him, you haven’t known him for that long yet.
You stare at him, fascinated by his closed eye sockets, watching his face closely. When his eye sockets are open, they don't look like they have lids, and yet he can close them like this. They even twitch a little every now and then, he must be dreaming. His skeletal grin is slack and not much of a grin anymore, just a row of exposed teeth. It should have given the impression of a grimace, but it actually makes him look just as peaceful as most people do when they're asleep. It's cute too, if in a different way from Papyrus, just because it's such a contrast to the deliberate laziness he normally shows. He seems nowhere near close to waking up.
Time to use that to your advantage.
You carefully stand up, moving to your room as quietly as you can. It takes a bit of effort because nobody cleaned up all the paper bags from the take out yesterday, so you really have to be careful not to step on or rustle anything.
The plan is an elaborate one, befitting the date and the revenge you're about to take. You're going all out here. Not just for him of course - everyone gets a little something, but he gets extra because he teased you yesterday. It takes you several trips in and out of your room to set everything up, preparing everything in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, the office, on Sans’ door… not in his room though. You respect that boundary, even if it offers him a hideout.
Finally it's all in place. Just one last thing left to do.
You approach Sans carefully.
This next and last thing is a high risk, high reward scenario. If he wakes up, he'll know you did something. So you have to be really careful.
The Sharpie is already uncapped, the tip glistening with the black ink.
You lower yourself on your knees so his face on the couch is right in front of you. Slowly, you bring the Sharpie closer to his face, hesitating for a moment before the tip connects with his brow bones.
He makes a tiny, quiet snuffling sound and you freeze.
His breathing continues, deep and steady as before.
Good.
You carefully move the Sharpie over his face, trailing deep black ink in its wake. A circle here, some dots there, one curl here and another opposite it…
He huffs in his sleep again just as you lift the Sharpie from his face. His breath smells faintly like ketchup and something chalky. Probably bones? It's not as smelly as you expected it to be after all that takeout yesterday.
You stand up when you're sure he's still asleep and leave to bring the Sharpie away, then go to get ready in the bathroom. Everything's prepared, so now all you have to do is wait for everyone else to wake up. Might as well take a shower in the meantime.
You're all ready and in the middle of cleaning up the mess of paper bags when the others begin to wake up. Papyrus is the first, sitting up so abruptly and with no warning at all that you flinch. He blinks at you, at Undyne and then at his brother, and that's where he stills. He looks back to you and you put your index finger to your lips. He glances to his brother again and then grins widely. Good. He moves over to Undyne before you can stop him.
“UNDYNE, IT IS TIME FOR OUR DAILY MORNING JOG!” Papyrus says while shaking her shoulder gently but decisively.
Undyne groans quietly and curls into Alphys. You feel a little bit sorry for her.
“Maybe you should let her sleep,” you suggest gently, throwing the last of the paper bags away and getting started on setting the table for breakfast.
“NONSENSE! UNDYNE CONSIDERS OUR DAILY TRAINING TO BE VERY IMPORTANT!” He insists proudly.
On the couch, Dolores groans quietly at the sudden volume in the room. “Wha…?” She asks blearily.
Papyrus has finally managed to shake Undyne awake, whose hair is currently a wild tangle of red reaching past her shoulder blades. She looks slightly pissed at being shaken out of her sleepy cuddle with Alphys, for which you honestly can't fault her.
“ ‘m up,” she mumbles. Alphys rubs the sleep out of her eyes in front of Undyne.
“WOWIE! WE ALMOST OVERSLEPT! YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND WHO WAKES YOU UP IN TIME!”
“Uh-huh.”
Alphys mumbles something incomprehensible.
Suddenly, there’s the click of a door and a pouting Frisk enters the living room, followed by a very confused looking Toriel.
“I don’t understand my child, you woke me up but now you are unhappy?”
“Ugh! Yeah!” They say, flopping down into a chair at the dinner table.
“FRISK, HOW NICE OF YOU TO WAKE TORIEL UP! FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD APPRECIATES THE IMPORTANCE OF RISING EARLY!”
“No!” Frisk groans.
“Did you not want me to wake up after all?” Toriel asks, still looking confused.
“No!” They dramatically fall forwards onto the table until their head meets the table surface with a soft ‘thunk’. The monsters all look at them in utter befuddlement and turn to you when you giggle.
“They can’t all work out like we want them to, Frisk,” you say, making the monsters look even more confused. “C’mon, have some cereal and then you can think of another one.” You place a bowl of cereal in front of them, the milk already on the table.
They grumble and pour the milk, only to look on dumbfounded when the cereal and milk take on a disturbingly bright shade of green.
“Oh no! What is that? Frisk, do not eat that - !” Toriel is already moving quickly to take the bowl from them when both you and Frisk burst into a fit of giggles.
“Ewwwww!” They shout in delight.
Behind you, at the glass door to the garden, Papyrus is struggling with his boots.
“NYO-HOO-HOO! IT APPEARS MY FEET HAVE GROWN! I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH MY SKELETON PUBERTY INDUCED GROWTH SPURTS!”
“If you’re growing then so am I,” Undyne grumbles. “And I should definitely be through with growth spurts.” She grabs the wad of paper you’ve stuffed into her boot this morning and eyes both you and Frisk suspiciously, giggling as you are.
“Gotcha,” you say. “Happy April’s fools.”
“Is that a thing we do?” Dolores asks groggily, moving towards the kitchen and grabbing Undyne’s carton of black tea.
“Well, I do have a kid to entertain now…” you say innocently.
“Sure. Just for the kid, hm?”
You grin at her like a cheshire cat. “Don’t worry, Toriel, the green is only food dye,” you tell her when you turn back to her and Frisk. “It’s April the first. We humans have this custom where on this date, we play pranks on each other. Just harmless ones, ideally.”
“NO!” Papyrus gasps. “CAN IT BE? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE BEEN THOROUGHLY JAPED BY A HUMAN?”
“HAH! Good one, punk!” Undyne narrows her eye at you while her grin stretches almost to her fins, exposing all her terrifying shark teeth. “I hope you’re ready for my revenge!”
“She’s not afraid of you!” Frisk declares. “It’s Team Humans versus Team Monsters and we’re gonna beat you!”
“Challenge accepted!”
“O-oh dear,” Alphys says, joining Frisk at the table.
“what’s with all the commotion?” Sans asks, peeking over the armrest of the couch, having obviously just woken up. Toriel, Frisk, Dolores and Alphys take a look at him and burst into laughter, which you happily join. It’s even better now that he’s awake!
“what?!”
“Why Sir Sans, what an honour to have such a distinguished gentleman join us for breakfast on this lovely morning,” Toriel snickers.
Sans furrows his brow bones in confusion, which distorts the monocle you drew around his right eye socket somewhat. The little dots marking the monocle chain and the curly moustache remain static, however. He touches his hand to his face, producing quiet clacking sounds as he tries to feel for something there.
“what did ya do?” He focuses immediately on you. Seems like he didn’t forget your declaration yesterday, where you promised him revenge for his application teasing.
“Just celebrating a human holiday,” you tell him, not managing to sound innocent at all.
“I thought you were trying to entertain Frisk,” Dolores says dryly, turning to fill the tea kettle with water from the tap.
“Ah-”
The water splashes upwards, hitting Dolores square in the chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t look very sorry,” she says, peeling the tape off from where you put it halfway over the opening of the tap.
“I am. Team Humans has just shot itself in the foot.”
“We need to develop our battle strategy!” Frisk declares and shoves a spoonful of neon-green cereal into their mouth, still grinning like a maniac. “I call a meeting.”
“My child, please don’t speak with your mouth full,” Toriel chides.
“UNDYNE! WE HAVE TO USE OUR JOG TO COME UP WITH JAPES FOR THE HUMANS!”
“Yeah! And when we get back, we’ll talk to the other nerds and set up our own pranks, so all of you better get thinking too!”
They leave discussing plates of spaghetti. You have no idea what that has to do with pranks. Meanwhile Sans leaves for the bathroom, presumably to check his face - an assumption that’s confirmed when you hear him laugh loudly from there.
“i hope for you that comes off again,” he yells over cheerfully before he closes the bathroom door. You snicker quietly when you hear him turn the shower on.
“What did you do?” Frisk wants to know, looking up at you with wide eyes.
“Several things…”
You hear a slew of curses from the bathroom, indistinct enough that Toriel doesn’t have to cover Frisk’s ears, but it’s clear from the tone what they are.
“Like putting one of Toriel’s snail bouillon cubes into the shower head,” you say.
“Ewww!” Frisk is holding their stomach from all the laughing.
“That’s so evil,” Dolores comments, although by now she’s grinning herself.
“I did not know you were so invested in pranks,” Toriel says with a smile, eyeing you questioningly as she walks over to the fridge.
“I’m normally not, but since Sans just happened to tease me yesterday and today is April the first… it seemed like such a good opportunity,” you grin.
“I thought it was for Frisk,” Dolores repeats, looking clearly amused now.
“It’s called multitasking.”
“Sure.” Dolores chuckles into her tea.
Toriel opens the fridge, stares and then breaks down into more laughter. Frisk immediately hops up to see what has her laughing so much, and then ends up joining her when they see that you drew little smiley faces on each and every single food container in the fridge, and on all the eggs too.
“I think I rather like this human holiday,” she says while collecting some cheese you had forgotten to put on the table before joining you. “What is its history?”
“Uh, no idea actually. I’m sure it’s online somewhere though,” you say thoughtfully, pouring yourself some cereal for your own breakfast.
“And as long as this day lasts, we can play pranks on anyone?”
“Yup. Some people get really creative with it. As long as it’s not harmful you can go nuts.”
“okay, the saran wrap under the cap of the shower gel is one thing,” Sans says as he exits the bathroom, “but before that, what exactly did you do to the soap? it wouldn’t lather.” He sits next to you and from the way he smells you can tell that he must have figured out how to remove the bouillon cube. The sharpie did in fact wash off, too.
“Clear nail polish,” you tell him, watching him from the corner of your eyes as he snatches one of the croissants out of the basket, pulling the ketchup bottle towards him as well.
“huh. clever.” He takes a hearty bite out of the ‘bread’ and immediately spits it out again, starting to cough.
“Did you know that you can microwave some soaps and they’ll end up looking like bread?” You ask him with a smile, your head resting on one of your hands.
“no,” he chokes and brings the ketchup bottle to his mouth, pressing it hard to squirt as much of the contents into his mouth as possible. Then his face contorts and he runs to the sink to spit that out too, coughing even more and drinking water directly from the tap. “ff- you poured mustard into my ketchup bottle?!” He asks, sounding more offended over this than he did about the soap.
“I swapped them,” you tell him over the sound of everyone’s laughter.
He eyes you with a sceptical grin. “didn’t know you’d be that upset over the application thing.”
“I’m not upset, I simply wanted you to experience the exact same level of mortification that I felt yesterday,” you tell him cheerfully.
“fair enough,” he chuckles, returning to his seat. He eyes the mustard bottle with a healthy level of suspicion. “i don’t trust this anymore.”
“That is very reasonable,” you giggle.
“i won’t drink it,” he tells you with a challenging look and uncaps the mustard bottle. The ketchup inside promptly explodes over his chest and face.
“Did you also know,” you say, barely holding back a howl of laughter, “that if you add baking soda to ketchup, the results are a blast?”
Toriel loses it and nearly inhales her slice of bread. Sans stares at you, expressionless, ketchup dripping from his nasal bone. You hold his look and are almost worried you went too far for a second, but then he grins and slowly begins to clap. “that,” he says through the rattling sound his bones make every time they connect, “was beautiful. a prank chain and a pun. i don’t deserve this. i clearly need to tease you more often.”
“Please don’t,” you say threateningly, undermining yourself because you’re still laughing at the sight of him doused in ketchup.
“no, don’t worry, i won’t overdo it. i’m just like you, i ‘know when to hold and know when to fold.”
You half-laugh, half-groan and hide your face in your hands again while Dolores barks out another loud laugh. You regret your life choices. At least that particular one. No more vodka for you, ever.
“welp, better go get this mess off. so much cleaning in a day, papyrus is gonna love ya.” He leaves the table with a chuckle, vanishing into the hallway.
The satisfying squeak that reaches your ears tells you that he walked straight into the saran wrap you spanned across his door. You sigh happily and wish you had found a way to put a camera there to film the moment. Oh well. He laughs like a madman before he vanishes into his room.
“How many of these things did you even set up?” Dolores wants to know.
“Don’t tell her while the enemy’s at the table!” Frisk blurts out excitedly.
“I had a bit of time this morning when I was up before everyone else,” you say. “So there was a lot of opportunity.”
“A-are you really g-going to keep that up th-the entire day?” Alphys asks.
“Probably not,” you admit. “I only had so many ideas to begin with.”
“But that was without me,” Frisk says. “We can totally keep it up!”
“Keep what up?” Asgore asks, shuffling into the room.
“Apparently today is a human pranking day,” Toriel tells him, absentmindedly smiling at Frisk. Asgore seems startled by the warm tone in her voice and stops for a second before he finds his bearings and walks over to the table to sit down.
“That sounds enjoyable,” he says carefully. Toriel seems to have caught herself in the meantime and doesn’t look like she particularly wants to continue this conversation with him.
“You already missed so many good pranks,” Frisk tells him before the silence can become awkward. “She’s really good at it.” They look up to you with pride and you feel something warm bubble up in your chest.
“I try,” you say modestly, a bit blindsided by the rush of affection you just experienced.
Asgore smiles at them. “Surely I will also see some of those pranks. The day has only just begun.” He starts to prepare toast for himself and grabs a banana on top of that. He peels it and the fruit falls in pieces onto his plate, fresh out of the peel while he looks on dumbfounded. Frisk is giggling again and even Toriel manages to chuckle at his face. Then Asgore joins in, his laughter deep and warm and resonating.
“How did you do that?” He asks you curiously.
“I poked a toothpick through the peel every inch or so and wiggled it around until I could be sure it had cut the banana,” you say, watching Frisk beam at you.
“Frisk, are you finished with you cereal?” Toriel asks.
“Yeees…?” They suddenly look wary.
“Then please, get ready for the day and we can finally start on your lessons,” Toriel says happily.
“Today?!” They complain.
“Yes, my child, today. It has already been far too long, you must not fall behind on your school work.”
They sigh loudly, but slip off their chair and put their bowl in the sink, vanishing into the bathroom right afterwards.
“May I speak with you?” Toriel asks you while you clean up the table, save for Asgore’s place.
“Sure?”
“It is about Frisk’s clothes,” she says. “They only came to us with this one set… I intend to make more for them, but I am afraid my sewing skills stop at traditional monster clothes.” She looks at you expectantly. Apparently you now have to make your first official guardianship contribution.
“You want me to buy more? Sure, I can do that. Now that I can receive packages I can order online too, maybe you want to have a look at the options with me?”
Asgore coughs delicately. “Excuse me for interrupting, but… may I suggest something?”
Toriel and you turn to him, Toriel with a noticeable chill in her eyes. She really doesn't like it when he tries to do anything in regards to Frisk.
“I have spoken extensively to the military and human politicians and we may get permission to try another trip of monsters into the human world… this sounds like it would be a good opportunity.”
“No.” Toriel’s face is hard. “Not with Frisk.”
“There would be maximum security of course -”
“We are threatened by terrorists!”
“Toriel, the humans who threaten us like that will not leave it be, if we cower before them we will not leave Ebott for decades -”
“That is no reason to endanger Frisk -”
“I can't stay in here forever,” Frisk says gently, taking Toriel’s paw in their hands. She flinches; so does everyone else. Nobody had heard them come back into the room, apparently. Toriel and Frisk lock gazes and the stern look on Toriel’s face fades into something soft, fearful and sad.
“I know,” she says finally. It sounds like there is a lot of unsaid protest swallowed after that. “But then at least let me come with you.” Her eyes roam over Frisk’s face pleadingly.
Frisk nods and Toriel relaxes, if only fractionally. Then they both turn to you.
“Will you allow it?” Toriel asks. It takes you a second to recognise that this isn't just her being polite. She's waiting for your permission.
Oh.
Right, that's one of the things where your guardianship means you have the final word, isn't it? Weird.
”Er… yes,” you say carefully. “If you both think it's a good idea and that we can make this safe, then yes, of course.”
“I will make sure it is safe,” Asgore says, and there is such a deep note of finality behind it that you wouldn't be surprised to see him leave in order to personally preemptively hunt for anyone who might hurt this child.
“jeez, i leave for one moment and you all go serious again. i’m disappointed.” Sans has snuck up behind you, but instead of using the fact that you all are distracted he watches you with a fake disappointed frown.
“Well, it is time for Frisk’s lessons,” Toriel says.
Sans sighs deeply but then grins anyway. “guess that means i get to plan my pranks for longer.” He gives you a wink and waggles his brow bones at Frisk before shuffling over to Alphys to see if she's ready to teleport to work. They depart shortly after Asgore and Dolores do.
Oh damn, now you're going to spend the entire day wondering what he'll do, won't you?
You try very hard not to fall for his psychological warfare, but you can't help yourself. It stays on your mind through everything you do.
You have a brief talk with Asgore about possible store options for your next shopping trip and then spend the morning writing emails to them to inquire if they'd be up for it and what help they could provide for your security. Next to you at the table, Toriel quizzes Frisk extensively to see where they stand with their school work and also asks them if they learned anything she didn't cover (which they did, unsurprisingly). Then she gives them their first lesson. She's a good teacher, you think as you half-listen to her, being very patient and thorough with her explanations while also working in a pun here and there to keep Frisk’s interest up.
“Maybe we should also buy them some school supplies while we're at it,” you say later as you watch Frisk use an old, half chewed pencil to fill out a worksheet that Toriel seems to have handwritten for them. Her handwriting is incredibly tidy, but then she did have a lot of time to practise.
“Yes, I think we should,” Toriel agrees. “Although your government has promised us support with supplies as soon as the schools can open.”
“Will I go to school?” Frisk asks suddenly.
“You would have to miss some days if you wish to keep your role as ambassador,” Toriel says. “But of course you can go if that is something you would like to do.”
“I've never gone to school,” Frisk says thoughtfully. “It's always just been grandma teaching me.”
“Maybe it would be a good idea to go then,” you say carefully with a glance to Toriel. “Make some friends your age.”
Toriel seems to agree with your assessment and she quietly nods along to your words.
Frisk seems slightly insecure about the prospect for a moment, but then you can see them straighten their spine in resolve. “I'll try it. If I don't like it I can always stop, right?”
“Of course, my child,” Toriel says, gently smoothing their hair with her paw. “I am always here to teach you if you need it. But I am proud that you are willing to give it a try.”
Frisk smiles at her and returns to their worksheet.
Their lessons end a short while after midday, when Toriel decides it's time for lunch. She set up a big casserole earlier while Frisk was reading something, with a wide selection of vegetables added to a batch of noodles with a thick layer of cheese on top, which has been baking in the oven for an hour or so.
“Yes, I think it is finished,” Toriel says thoughtfully, poking the cheese crust with a fork.
“Can I taste test it?” Frisk asks excitedly.
“Of course you can.” Toriel scoops up a small amount of casserole while Frisk hops up from their chair to walk over. You can see her make a quick hand motion -
“Frisk, wai- ”
Too late.
Frisk has allowed Toriel to put the fork into their mouth and their happy expression is quickly replaced by a disgusted one. Toriel begins to laugh as Frisk sprints over to the sink.
“Blergh!”
“I apologise, my child,” Toriel says, her warm voice still trapped in bouts of laughter.
“What was that?!”
“Some of the mustard she exchanged earlier,” Toriel says with a nod to you.
“Sorry Frisk, I tried to warn you,” you say apologetically.
“Team Humans loses a point,” Toriel states proudly. “I shall ensure the victory of Team Monsters!”
Frisk finishes clearing their mouth with tap water and eyes the rest of the casserole critically.
“Do not worry. I will not do this one again. That would be a waste of good food,” Toriel says, her tone quite serious this time.
You and Frisk still insist to fill your plates by yourself instead of receiving a portion from her. Once you've overcome your distrust and start to eat though, the casserole tastes splendid as everything Toriel cooks does.
Toriel teaches Frisk some more after the meal while you volunteer to put the leftovers away and do the dishes. Unlike in the morning, where after the test the lessons were focused on general things like maths, reading, human history and some of the basic sciences, the afternoon is about monsters. Specifically, monster history.
Frisk already seems to know some of the things Toriel tells them, but lacks details. You however listen in fascination as Toriel explains to them how monsters fled from the barrier after being imprisoned, how they set up a city deep under the mountains calling it ‘Home’ and how they adapted to a life with no sunshine or water cycle or really any independent weather - if they wanted to have these things, they had to create them themselves via magic. You end up sitting next to Frisk after you finish cleaning the kitchen, your own work forgotten as you continue to listen to Toriel. She really is good at this, when she realises that she has inadvertently gained another ‘student’ in you, she begins to mention more of the things that you have expressed an interest in, like what magical means exactly they used to replicate their own weather and how. All the while she still takes care not to make it too boring for Frisk, who is diligently listening while flipping through the illustrated monster history book Toriel has given them to accompany the lesson, looking at the pictures. You keep peeking over their shoulder.
“And that is how we built Home and adapted to our life there,” Toriel finally finishes. “Please remember it well. I will ask you some questions about it next time.”
“Okay.”
“That was interesting,” you say. “I don't think humans would have been able to survive like you have, without magic.”
“Perhaps not. But then maybe if humans had been in our situation, your magic would not have been lost.”
“Why did we lose our magic, anyway?”
“We do not know any more than you do. Before we were sealed, human mages were not common, but they were not terribly rare either. Individuals with the potential for it could come into their power at any time in their lives, if they stood firm in their convictions…”
“If I had magic, I’d use it to set up even better pranks,” Frisk says with a cheeky grin.
“So would I, probably,” you admit with a chuckle. “Although I currently can’t think of a way to do that. How would you use Undyne’s spears for a prank, I mean that’s…”
“Maybe not Undyne’s. But other magic!”
“I still - “
“Quick, catch!” Toriel yells. You automatically bring your hands up and snatch something warm and bright out of the air. Then you stare, dumbfounded, at the flickering ball of fire in your hands and you open your mouth to scream in pain because it’s fire, but… it doesn’t hurt?
Toriel begins to laugh. “There you go, that is how I would do it!”
“Team Humans needs to catch up,” Frisk pouts.
“Definitely,” you say absentmindedly, grinning at the fire in your hands. It’s pleasantly warm instead of hot and has the same magnetic push to it that you’re coming to associate with monster magic. “Does it just stay like that?”
“For as long as I want it to, yes,” Toriel tells you indulgently.
“Can I touch it too?” Frisk asks.
“Anyone can, my child.”
Frisk turns to you with a grin and you throw the little ball of fire at them. They catch it effortlessly and giggle at the sensation in their hands before throwing it back. Just like that you’re in a game with them, playing with the fire ball. That’s how Dolores finds you when she comes back into the house.
“So, in my opinion - “ She says to Asgore, before seeing you and stopping dead in her tracks when she sees the fire in your hands. “Oh god!”
“Catch!” You tell her and throw the ball of fire at her just like Toriel did.
Dolores, to her credit, does neither duck nor scream. Instead she raises the stack of papers in her hands and swings them like a baseball bat, sending the fireball flying in a high arching parabola over your and Frisk’s head until it hits the opposite wall directly over Papyrus’ bone painting, where it bounces off and falls onto the dinner table.
“What’s that?” Dolores asks incredulously while you and Toriel laugh. Asgore is chuckling quietly too. Frisk on the other hand is applauding her and whooping loudly.
“Magical fire! Toriel made it,” you tell her, grinning.
“It’s safe to touch?”
“Yeah! Try it!” Frisk has carried the fireball back over to her and holds it in their outstretched hands. Dolores carefully pokes it with a finger before she sticks her own hand in.
“Oh, this is nice,” she comments. “Warm. Can I hold it? Will it burn anything?”
“No, it is completely safe. You can carry it around and set it down as you wish,” Toriel tells her. “Feel free to keep it, I can always make another.”
Frisk drops it into her hand. Dolores takes it with her up to the gallery and keeps it in her hand when she sets the papers down there. Frisk tugs on your hand and drags you up there too, crowding in on Dolores.
“We need to set up more pranks!” They say urgently in a lowered voice, trying to make it so Asgore and Toriel can’t hear them downstairs. You don’t think it’s effective, but that’s okay, the two of them will probably play along. “Toriel pranked us really good while you were away! Team Humans can’t lose!”
Dolores raises one of her eyebrows at them before looking at you. “I thought we were in the lead.” She’s completely deadpan about it, but she does indulge Frisk.
“We can’t rest on our laurels!” Frisk insists. “Sans hasn’t even returned yet!”
“Don’t remind me,” you say.
“Okay. What do you suggest?” Dolores asks.
“We need to split up and plan,” Frisk says, nodding to themselves. “Dolores, you’ll have to prank Alphys. But gently! We can’t be too mean to her.”
“Hmmm…” You look around the office space trying to remember the pranks you looked up for today. “We could cover her side of the office completely in post-it notes? Or we could put my clear nail polish on the tips of her pencils so they won’t write.”
“Good,” Frisk nods again.
“I could fill mayonnaise into one of the spider donuts I was going to offer her,” Dolores says. “We could also put mayonnaise into someone’s toothpaste. Fill a pitcher with water and mac n’ cheese powder for fake orange juice, add salt instead of sugar to someone’s tea…”
“Where are all of those coming from?” You ask her, chuckling.
“Siblings,” she says with a huff. “My sister was annoying and my brother and I had to teach her a lesson.”
“We’re going to do all of those!” Frisk declares. “And put tape on the TV remote! And toothpaste on everyone’s door handle!”
“Food colouring on toothbrushes is also very effective,” you throw in.
“Yes! Dolores does the office, I do the doors and you do the bathroom!”
“Sounds like a plan then.”
“Fine.”
You and Frisk turn to leave the gallery. They’re down the stairs much faster than they should go on the steps, but just as you’re about to tell them to be careful, you feel an odd sense of vertigo. You stagger sideways into the wall. It’s a good thing you’re standing on the last step, you might have fallen otherwise. You push yourself off and take the last step, turning to walk towards the bathroom, but you feel the same vertigo again and stumble forwards into the table.
“Urgh!” Your collision didn’t really hurt, but it did knock the air out of you.
“Are you okay?” Frisk asks you with a frown.
“Er, yeah? I feel kind of lightheaded,” you reply. This is weird. This normally only happens to you when you forget to eat for a while.
You push yourself off the table and take a moment to just stand, seeing if you’ll need to stabilise yourself. But no, you’re fine.
You take a step and you stumble backwards again. Toriel and Asgore are beginning to laugh silently.
“Oh come on!” You’re pretty sure by now that this isn’t normal. “This is magic, isn’t it?” You ask, clinging to the handrail of the stairs to the gallery.
You hear a deep chuckle from the hallway. It’s Sans. Of course it’s Sans.
“What are you doing?” You ask him skeptically, still not having let go of the railing just in case.
“Teaching you the gravity of the situation,” he says with yet another chuckle.
You notice out of the corner of your eyes that Frisk is using the distraction to sneak into the bathroom and decide to continue acting as bait.
“I didn’t know your magic could do this. Do you just teleport things in between my feet or what?”
“nah. ‘fraid i can’t tell ya my trade secret for now.”
“Dang. Okay.” You push yourself up and decide to take a chance, letting go of the railing. So far so good. “Hey, do you know where Papyrus and Undyne are? They kinda vanished this morning and didn’t return.”
“got distracted during their training ‘n started to prank everyone on the plaza. alphys’ doing damage control now.”
“That bad, huh?” You chance a step forward. To your great surprise, you don’t stumble. You take another step and are greeted by a loud, wet farting noise. You sigh, you were kind of wondering where the whoopee cushions would come in again.
“kinda gave me an idea there with teleporting things between your feet,” Sans snickers.
“Oh god. I brought that on myself, huh. Well - “ Another fart noise sounds when you lean forward on the table. “This is very distracting.”
“i know.” Sans is openly, loudly laughing now, but Frisk emerges from the bathroom and gives you a thumbs up, so at least they seem to have been successful with their prank preparation.
It pays off later when Sans comes out of the bathroom with his teeth dyed pink. But you do spend the entire rest of the day surprised at just how many opportunities there are to teleport a whoopee cushion under someone.