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"I don't understand," Cody had said after a particularly ridiculous conversation with some official whose name he'd missed, "how do you keep getting away with this?"
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Obi-wan had responded with his version of a shit-eating grin (a small smirk as he tried not to smile and a tell-tale scrunching around his eyes).
"Bantha-dung. You haven't spoken a true word in ten minutes and that woman believed all of it. How?"
"It's quite simple, Cody." Obi-wan had said, losing his fight against laughter. "Introduce yourself as 'the people who never lie' and then just lie. Frequently."
That was how it started. A few missions later, Cody had gotten fed up with a less-than-helpful civilian leader they were trying to convince to get his people to evacuate and snapped out "Sir, if you want your villagers to die then go ahead, but we're telling you the truth!"
"How am I to know your honesty?" the fussy village head had said.
"Because clones don't lie!" Cody blurted, before he thought of a proper response.
"Hm? I hadn't heard that before."
"Uh." Shit. Excuse, now. "Yeah, it uh, conflicts with our programming. You know, being made for the Jedi and all."
"Oh. Interesting. Let me speak to my council."
Cody watched him leave with a shocked gaze. The moment he was out of earshot an incredulous giggle bubbled up out of his throat. That worked?
It did. And it kept working after that, often enough that when Rex pulled the same move a few months later on a mission Cody didn't question it at first. It was only later, in Cody's bunk that Rex had elected to steal half of for the duration of their shared mission, that he brought it up.
"What do you mean?" Rex asked, with his best attempt at innocence. "Clones don't lie, Cody, you know that."
If it had spread to Rex it had spread to the command class, which meant Cody couldn't pretend ignorance. He sighed. "Right." This might as well happen.
"Oh, Commander, won't you come and have a drink with us?" some noble from the court of the planet-of-the-week was saying. Cody plastered on a fake smile and shook his head, doing his best to look apologetic.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm on-duty. I'm not permitted to drink."
She looked like she was about to argue, try to get him to break the rules, so he kept going. "And clones can't process alcohol properly anyway, I'm certain I would just embarrass you."
"Oh," the noblewoman pouted, "are you sure?"
"Of course, ma'am." Cody smiled. "Clones don't lie."
The noblewoman swept away, and Cody took the opportunity to pour himself some juice into a wine glass in case anyone else tried the same trick.
"Can't process alcohol, eh?" came the dry remark from behind him. "How terribly dismal of an existence."
Cody rolled his eyes and turned around, letting his General wrap a golden-sleeved arm around his shoulders. "That's far from the only contributing factor, sir."
Kenobi's arm was a nice weight, warmth making it through his thin sleeve and Cody's dress grays. Cody leaned into it a bit, earning one of those soft little smiles his General liked to think were hidden behind his beard. Perhaps they would be, to anyone not used to picking up expressions through full suits of armor.
"Well, I hope I'll be able to lighten it up a bit, someday."
"You already do, sir."
Kenobi's entire being softened, for a moment, and Cody's heart panged when he realized the Jedi was tearing up a bit. "Oh Cody...I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, sir." Cody said, flushing a bit under the weight of Kenobi's gaze. "And for what it's worth, that's actually true."
"Well of course it is, dear," Kenobi grinned, regaining some of his usual sparkle, "clones don't lie, after all."
Cody barked out a laugh, and quickly downed the rest of his juice to let his General drag him out to the dance floor.
The excuse grew all the more common, all up and down the chain of command until it made its way right up to the Chancellor himself.
Which is how Cody got here, standing in front of the Jedi Council and half the Senate trying not to crack as he lies his shebs off to their faces.
"CC-2224," one of the Chancellor's cronies is saying (Cody forgot his name before he even finished introducing himself), "on Zhellday the 18th, you accompanied CC-1010, CC-5052, CT-7567, and Jedi Masters Kenobi, Vos, Skywalker and Secura to the Chancellor's office. At 7:37 that evening, CC-1010 reported the Chancellor dead. Is this accurate?"
"Yes, sir." Cody nods.
"And Chancellor Palpatine was dead by the time your group reached the office, is this correct?"
"Yes, sir, as stated in the report."
"Why were you visiting the Chancellor in the first place? There is no record of a scheduled appointment in the records of either the Chancellor or his receptionist."
Cody nods. "No, sir. CT-7567 and I were accompanying Generals Kenobi and Skywalker after the Chancellor requested we debrief about the joint campaign between the 212th and 501st on Nacelle. On the way, we were joined by Masters Vos and Secura as well as CC-5052 and CC-1010. They had just uncovered evidence of a Sith on Coruscant and accompanied us to the Chancellor's office so that all relevant information could be relayed in a timely manner."
Murmurs break out around the room. The senator- Kroo something? shuffled his flimsi-sheets nervously.
"A Sith, you say?"
"Yes, sir. Someone who uses the Dark side of the Force to manipulate, control and/or harm others."
"I know what a Sith is, CC-22..2...." the senator snaps.
"2224, sir. I go by Commander Cody, if that's easier for you."
"I'll hold you in contempt of court if you-"
"Senator Cheisbahl," Obi-wan cuts in evenly, "Commander Cody is not exhibiting behaviours one can label as contemptuous. He is simply following his training, identifying a problem and offering a solution."
"Fine! Tell me, *Commander,* what did you find upon entering the Chancellor's office?"
Cody is glad for his helmet right now. He's having a hard time keeping a straight face- Senator Cheisbahl? What a dumb name, and a mind to match. "We found the Chancellor dead at his desk, and a blaster hole in the office window."
More like a Sith pulling a lightsaber on them and a rather lovely sunset. Details, details.
"In the window?" Senator Cheisbahl repeats. "On the top floor of the Senate Building?"
"Yes, sir, unless I've missed construction of another. It's been quite a while since the 212th was planetside."
A few titters float up from the assembled senators. Cody bites his lip and prays his shoulders aren't shaking. Senator Cheisbahl is visibly fuming by now- he slams his hand down on the podium.
"Regardless! What kind of marksman could make that shot??"
"An impressive one, sir." Cody responds smoothly. Someone a few levels down snorts. Senator Cheisbahl is turning an interesting shade of orange.
"Why, you-"
"Kluleth," Senator Organa interrupts, "this trooper has told us his account. It matches up with the reports from the other witnesses, and from the medical examiner, so I really don't see any reason for us to all be sitting around here. There's still a war on, and we've monopolized the time of some of our best soldiers for this."
"We cannot be certain that this clone is telling the truth!" Senator Cheisbahl protests.
"Of course we can," chimes Senator Amidala. "Clones don't lie- if you'd like extra confirmation we can always call Master Ti on Kamino, but she will give the same information."
Cheisbahl, somehow, flushes harder. "There's really no need to disturb Master Ti, I'm certain she has far more important things to be doing than to-"
"No, no, really it's quite alright, Shaak loves talking about her work." General Vos calls.
"The hard part is getting her to stop," agrees General Koon.
"There really is no need! Now, which commander are you?"
"Marshall Commander Cody, sir."
Snickers from the peanut gallery.
"No, I mean your command."
"The 7th Sky Corps, sir." Cody replies.
"No, your posting." More snickering.
"The 212th Attack Battalion, sir."
"Oh for- which Jedi?"
"General Kenobi commands the 212th, sir."
"Great. General, can you vouch for this clone's character?"
"Gladly!" Kenobi grins. "And it's Master Kenobi, if you would be so kind. The men use military terms, but since the Jedi are a non-militant organization we do prefer to use our traditional titles when possible."
"Master Kenobi, then," Senator Cheisbahl sighs, "can you vouch for your commander?"
"Of course! Cody is one of the best strategists I've ever encountered, with impeccable reflexes- quite remarkable given he's about as Force sensitive as your average potato. He's an excellent fighter, and keeps his men and me as safe as he possibly can, often putting his life on the line to make sure that everyone walks away from battle as close to unharmed as possible. Sometimes that involves ditching the blasters and getting up close and personal, you know, it's quite impressive. I've never seen someone punch the head off a battle droid before."
Senator Cheisbahl blanches. Kenobi keeps going.
"In one campaign, he was able to rescue a platoon's worth of injured soldiers by carrying them back to our medics. I was impressed by just one at a time, but I have to admit, when he picked up the last four at once I wasn't expecting it to actually work."
"General-"
"And honestly I'm just as impressed with the two brothers who were awake to hang on, that would be difficult even uninjured- and he was so nice afterwards helping repaint armour, which actually that's another thing that's impressive about the men, you know they've built an entire culture from the ground up. There's Mandalorian and Jedi influences, and things completely unique to them, and it's all terribly fascinating. For example, -"
Kenobi continues to ramble on about trooper culture and Cody fights to keep steady as Senator Cheisbahl's eyes glaze over more and more. His mistake, giving Obi-wan Kenobi the floor and an excuse.
After ten minutes Cheisbahl finally gives up. "Thank you, Kenobi, that will suffice."
"Oh, but to fully understand the familial conventions you have to have the historical context of Mandalore and-"
"It's alright, General. The hearing is concluded."
Acting Chancellor Organa takes the stand again for a few closing remarks and then Cody is finally able to go and join his family.
"Holy kriff, Kote," Fox wheezes, "'an impressive one?'"
"I think I saw steam," giggles Bly.
One of the generals clears their throat. The snickering quickly dies. The group makes their way down to the lifts, passing senators with brief nods or handshakes. Everyone gravitates to the lift on the far right, the big one meant for delegations that didn't want to split up, and Cody and his brothers do their best to squeeze in amongst the Councilors without stepping on anybody's robes. Cody tries not to hold his breath as the doors close.
A moment passes, and then- "Impressive filibuster, Master Kenobi. I don't think I've ever heard someone talk so much about Mandalorian color theory in the context of clone trooper armor."
And just like that, the stoicism breaks. Cody looks incredulously to his brothers as the Jedi Council falls into a fit of giggles around them.
Well. It may be what got them into this mess in the first place, but if you can't beat them, join them. Cody lets his head fall back and laughs.