Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Subaru laid on one of the royal beds in the palace of Lugunica. Of all enemies, old age had proven one he could not best. Still, they were all alive so it was alright, right? It had been worth it, right? Even if Echidna had broken their path halfway through just to see what would happen. He looked around. It was the room of a king and one he had never shared with anyone. The floor next to the bed was almost worn down. His habit of going back and forth had almost done it in, it seemed. He would have to apologise to the servants.

“Why does the wooden floor interest you that much, I suppose?”

The words were cold. They had an edge filled with the deepest hate he could comprehend. Subaru’s empty gaze moved to meet Beatrice’s. “I guess it just brings back a lot of memories.” His words, a forceful whisper. His forced smile was transparent. His empty eyes had lost their old fire of before. “I was remembering when I slipped and…”

“You are dying and still you play the clown, why, in fact? Is it because there’s nothing behind your mask, I suppose, just an empty, arrogant shell?”

Subaru struggled to look away, his old body resisting any motions. Had Reinhard felt this too? He ignored the stab that memory brought. Did he have Divine Protections against neck pain?

“At…at least you are safe.”

“...is that what you truly think, I suppose?” Her tone reminded him of some nights consoling Emilia from her nightmares, those that he ended up freezing to death. Those he had helped to create. “When the half-elf you crowned Queen is incapable of ruling without a task list made from you, when all the country nobility and knights hate your reforms, when the populace will cheer on a coup to eliminate any remains of your rule… When you are dying alone, in fact.”

His eyes moved away from her, as if he could dodge her words. “But…you are here?” His fake smile was still in his lips as if he had listened to nothing of that. Of course he knew all of that! And he tried, and tried, and tried! But there was no changing it. Emilia had broken long ago. Roswaal was Od knows where. Otto…Garfiel had gone back to the ruins of Sanctuary once they had won the royal selection. Ram and Rem… ‘Subaru-k…no, King Natsuki…’ Beatrice’s voice cut his remembrance.

“I am here just to see you die, in fact.” Her glare revealed everything. The first day these past decades she had left the library by herself and it was only to show him her absolute contempt. 

His eyesight darkened. His heart failed him. ‘So like Beako to know exactly when my body would give out just to reduce her time spent outside her library…’ His breathing stopped, a last thought crossed his mind. ‘So it was not enough for them to live…They also have to be happy…’

……

Like always, his consciousness restarted. A warm sun hit his cold and sweating body. He started counting, his fingers tapping his side. The sounds of carts and people going about their day reached his ears. The air struck him with an aroma he had spent countless millennia smelling. He was in the capital of Lugunica. When was his last checkpoint? He remembered not being outside in the conceivable past. When he raised a hand to rub his eyes, a plastic bag followed that motion, revealing a new weight.

His eyes turned to the strange bag, confusion and lack of understanding flooding his mind for the first time in…ever, that he could remember, at least. Blinking, he searched inside, the alien objects being irredeemably bizarre. ‘What are these metias? No…they are…’ Forgotten memories tugged at his mind. It could not be… 

Subaru looked up and around. The capital was…different. It lacked all of his innovations. The roadsides were dirty. Houses were not properly insulated. No…Focused on his examination, he almost missed a panicked scream.

“Watch out!” His sharp eyes of old turned to the sound, teeth ready to bite a capsule of poison that was no longer there and hand rushing to a phantom whip. A young kid had fallen right in the middle of the pathway and a big carriage, pulled by an earth dragon, was speeding right towards the kid.

‘...around…a minute and a half from the checkpoint. Would that be enough time for the next loop? I will need to find out.’ His gaze deviated from the sight, searching for the easiest way to kill himself while the crowd, their focus on the child in danger, grew horrified. Before his plan could progress, an iron clad knight jumped over the road fences and, rolling on the ground, reached the kid and saved him from his fate.

The crowd’s cheers shook Subaru out of his musings and helped him turn around to see that the problem had been dealt with. Giving an imperceptible nod at the knight, Subaru turned around and started to walk, his memories of long ago remembering one person he had to help.

Going down the street, he passed dozens of stores and buildings until he reached an appa stand.

“Those are some weird clothes you are traveling in, boy.” A gruff looking man, what was he called, oh, right…

“Sir Kadomon, your daughter…Plum right?, has gotten lost…” In a cold, matter of fact tone, Subaru started to explain before getting cut off.

His suspicion at being called by his name was overtaken by worry. “What?! Where!?”

After Subaru gave him directions he rushed out. Grateful for the solitude and having confirmed his hypothesis, Subaru started walking back and forth in front of the appa stand.

‘...So I have returned to the first checkpoint? My body feels like it at the very least. That means I can knock out Lady Fillole Lugunica out of the royal selection right now. I would just need to…’ He missed a step, tripping on a small imperfection on the road. ‘Right…The Bowel Hunter…My gate is intact at this point in time…Thank Od I took my magic studies despite being unable to use magic. With my current control I would be able to use some Yin magic against her without damaging it. Still, I will need a lot of resets to put the theory into practice. Plus, dealing with her attacks would be a matter of repetition…Now…how to kill her without Emilia dying nor the Sword Saint appearing? ’

‘Primary solution. Not fighting at all. Steal the insignia from Lady Fillole herself and simply retreat. That would doom both her and her…who was him…father, grandfather? Irrelevant to the train of thought. While pragmatic, this solution kills both of them. Discarded until further notice.’ His never ending prancing and mad glare was creeping out the passersby who had started to dodge that zone of the road.

‘Secondary solution. Plainly fighting her alone as stated above. Around half a thousand repetitions should do. While I am no expert in her combat style, she relies on fast movements and regeneration. Countering and aiming strikes to incapacitate her would work…’ As he thought, Kadomon returned and, thanking him, sent him on his way with a bag of appas. With nothing better to do, Subaru kept moving ahead.

‘Tertiary solution. Let Reinhard appear and repeat the first loop. Dangers: My memory is too fuzzy to be relied upon, meaning imperfections would arise. Could enough loops fix it? Unclear. Secondly, is it truly the best path? People get wounded. That is my duty. Third, it would set up Reinhard with Fillole and I need my…the Sword Saint…Do I? Further consideration required. Possible alliance?’

‘Fourth, setting up a raid with the help of the knights. Highly unfeasible. Rejected.’ Wandering aimlessly through the capital, he reached another plaza. There, a few knights were chatting between themselves in front of one of the stands. He had located his restart method. He looked to the sky, still blue. It would take a few hours for…puck?, for Puck to freeze the capital. He was also at risk of Reinhard stopping the Beast of the End before he died so he could not depend on that.

‘Fifth solution, taking command of Elsa. While distasteful, it would also warn Roswaal of me beforehand. Diversions from the original loop would be guaranteed and danger to my mission would follow. I need to face the clown in his study or I will have no possibilities to win at this point in time…’ He had reached next to the knights.

With a bit of alertness in their movements, they turned to Subaru as he kept walking towards them. “Do you…”

“Shamak.”

A cloud of darkness robbed both light and senses of all in front of the stand. The knights, skilled, prepared for an attack and readied their stances only for Subaru to steal a dagger and stab himself in the neck with surgical precision. The first reset for this loop was used merely to plan ahead.

… 

“Thank you very much, really! Just take this bag of appas, boy!” Kadomon stated his gratitude as he returned from the stand.

Subaru gave a slow nod, rapidly recovering his bearings as the dizziness died into apathy. “No problem. I will pay them back.” Walking away, he aimed at one very precise alley where three thugs would mug him. He had a good time but started to run still, counting the seconds and readying for the next conversation. He really should make another watch the first chance he gets. Eyeballing timers will add more unneeded loops.

Finally, he reached the end of the alleyway. He was still undecided on what plan to take so, for now, he would try to replicate the first loop. Three thugs, who he had forgotten the names of, laid in wait and around to action as he walked into them willingly.

“If you don’t wanna get hurt, cough up whatever you got!” The tone of the first thug increased a bit too much as they stared at an emotionless Subaru.

“Eh-hey, bud, you really think this is smart.” Whispered the second. “The guy’s giving me the creeps.”

The third nodded while the first one frowned. “We-well, he isn’t armed so apart from being a rat we can…”

Subaru breathing in and, with the most impassive face, screamed with a tone filled with panic that felt sincere to the ears. “Guard!” 

The three of them backed away by the sheer eeriness of Subaru’s actions, wailing for help with the best poker face they had ever seen.

“Someone, please help me! I need a hero!”

“Da-damn it, shut it!” The first thug roared and advanced rapidly towards Subaru, trying to intimidate him.

“No, don’t touch me, stop, I can’t…” Subaru’s voice lowered to a whisper, “I believe this was enough last time.” His gaze did not gaze around, assured of the prepared outcome of this small skirmish.

The thugs looked at each other, their cold sweat slowly receding. The second one turned to Subaru. “Do-don’t scare us like that! Od, I might have freaked out a little.” They glared at him, action in which the other two quickly joined in. Not in the mood for more jokes nor wasting time, the three of them unsheathed their weapons.

The third quipped in, unsettled by Subaru’s motionlessness. “Don’t you try to run by this point!” He simply watched as they closed in. Then, a voice cut their actions off.

“That’s enough.”

The four of them turned to the newcomer. 

Reinhard. Subaru stopped hearing whatever was going around him. In the flesh. Living. Not under his tyranny. His sky blue eyes, deceptively warm and kind unlike the cold glare he developed under Subaru. His steps were light, almost unburdened, alive. His movements were filled with tiny imperfections. His red hair was well tended and clean. Immaculate white clothes that seemed to blind Subaru and an excellent physical form that, despite towering over him thanks to his height, still made him seem approachable and non threatening. Reinhard, again. Simply Reinhard. He had not destroyed himself to become the Sword Saint under his orders. He was alive.

Subaru’s mask finally cracked. His eyes, once threatening, started to shake. His hands at his sides followed. His legs almost gave out.

“Are you unhurt?” Repeated Reinhard, voice now growing in worry at his unresponsiveness.  

“A-allow me to, to, you, thank…” He could not follow the script despite the repeated loops. His legs wave out only for his oldest friend to stop his fall. In his mind there was a storm of thoughts, mostly apologies. Yet one shone the brightest, never dimming in its existence. Everpresent. ‘It is not enough to live. They must be happy too.’ “Just don’t dodge this time, idiot.” Managed to whisper Subaru as he hugged an astonished Reinhard. A few seconds each loop would not heal the millions of years before, after all.

Unused to this type of contact and trapped in his own mind filled with confusion, slight tension and awkwardness, Reinhard shakily patted Subaru’s back as he struggled with all his might to squash him. Neither did he push the man away as seconds turned into minutes, his numerous Divine Protections never detecting the slight intention to harm, only an infinite pit of regret and self hate. Nonetheless, it was Subaru who broke the contact first.

His legs seemingly recovered and, with a perfect and happy smile back on his smile, he scratched his head shyly and looked slightly away, a book’s definition of bashfulness. “Damn, sorry for that. Went for uncool to outright harassment, didn’t I? My bad for not answering before but, yeah, I’m alright. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my life, really. I, Natsuki Subaru, deeply admire your selflessness!” His tone grateful, Reinhard detected no ill intent in his words.

But his expression only got more worried, alertness and wariness already dismissed. “Are you sure? My apologies but you seem…” His voice trailed off, not knowing how to engage the problem. His fake smile was worse than Subaru’s, his mind still thinking about this strange situation. It had not been out of fear. All of those emotions had been directed with precision. Regret at him, self hate at himself. “Nevertheless, there’s no need for such formality. Once it was three against two they lost their advantage. I am sure that had I been alone it would have been different.”

Subaru’s stare, warm and joyful, preceded a loud laughter at a joke that never got old no matter how much he heard it. “Od damnit, Reinhard-sama, you subestimate my value, I am sure I am a handicap big enough for you!” 

Reinhard’s smile turned genuine at the banter. He redid his stance, now more casual. “No need for such formalities, you may just call me Reinhard, Subaru.”

“Then I will take the arm and go straight to Rein, my new friend.” Subaru’s smile and thoughts were as honest as they could be. Reinhard flinched at the word. After all, to keep Reinhard safe and happy he had to be near in case anything happened and he needed to loop. Being in talking terms would ease the difficulty of his duty. Even if he did not deserve to call him that, nor deserve to even wan... His smile dimmed, “Still, friend, you would not happen to be a guard, right? You don’t look like one…” He had to cut some dialogue, the timeline would go off if he didn’t. Time was unrelenting and the seconds kept being counted.

“I’m off duty today so I find myself out of my uniform.” He tilted his head a bit at the sudden question. Subaru seemed to know him but at the same time not? Had he misread his emotions?

“Come to think of it, didn’t they call you a master swordsman?” Subaru rolled the dice as he followed the script. Had the conversation he missed diverged from it he would have to reset.

“...my family is fairly unique. Every day I feel I will be crushed by their expectations.” Before Reinhard could kill his sadness and switch the topic Subaru advanced a step.

“I will help with that, Rein. I promise to you.” His determined gaze held the certainty of sunrise, the strength of tempered steel, the resistance of diamond. Tempered by countless tribulations, he reinforced his new vow. Reinhard will have a happy ending. “Until then, feel free to pass some of your burden to me. That’s what I am for.”

Reinhard’s gaze was wide open. His mouth stammered to form proper words until it morphed into a bigger smile. He meant every word. “I…I will try to return the favour…friend.”

“Then I have a task only you can do, Rein!”

He tensed up and gave him a nod. He was suddenly thrown a novel worth of freshly written notes and an unsealed, half opened letter. 

Subaru pointed at him, his voice dead serious. “You may peruse the notes from tomorrow onwards. They will explain everything. The letter you need to open in seven…no, six days.” He frowned, his memory failing him, and started to mutter. “How long was the carriage ride…And how many days…Urgh!!” 

Coughing, he returned his attention to a confused Reinhard. The niceness only he could have, an impenetrable barrier between his curiosity and the information on his hands. “I will make do with a whenever. Trust your heart with it.”

His nod was even slower this time. This situation had jumped a few degrees up in bizarreness. Before he could ask anything Subaru was rushing to his next destination, giving him a pat on his shoulder as he passed him by. “And deliver a message to a half elf with silver hair from me! Do not go near the loot house!”

And like that he was gone. Reinhard’s gaze oscillated between the papers he had trusted him with and where he had disappeared in the alleyways. He frowned. Putting the papers in a bag for safe keeping, his hand went to the hilt of his dragon sword. Subaru’s emotions had changed into a blade made from battle readiness. He started to walk. He could do three things.

…

Uncaring of the state the broken house covered by a tree was in, he grabbed a broken plank of wood and a broken bottle and pocketed them. Stopping, he started to count the seconds, making sure he was in time. He cared not for the smell of garbage, too used to viscera and blood.

“...what do you think you are doing, peeking into someone’s house? There’s nothing to see there.”

Altered dialogue and a variant tone born out of vigilance. Nothing he could do about it now, he had been too focused on counting. Changing gears, he decided for the thirteenth to twenty nine loops’ negotiating technique. Turning around, his cold gaze fell on Felt.

Previously angry and glaring at him, now she backed a step and her hand reached for her dagger, unsheathing it and pointing it at him. “Be-beat it!” Her voice cracked, Subaru’s eyes terrifying her.

“You got something of mine. I am ready to buy it. If it gets dark…”

Her gaze examined him, not finding a single opening to strike him. “I told you to get out of here!” Her anger, a mask.

“Felt. Fourteen years old. A metre and a half of height. Thief. You accepted your current contract which was made by a woman and was offered ten gold coins. You failed once to steal the insignia and had to improvise by climbing a building thanks to your divine protection after stalking her for a while.” Seeing her paling at unordinary speeds, Subaru gave her a cold smirk. “Is that enough or do I follow up with your beloved old man Rom?”

She froze up. Her eyes, starting to tear up out of sheer fear, trembled as she shook her head.

Subaru clapped his hands once. His tone switched to cheerful despite his glare never losing its edge. “Great! Now just don’t stab me in the back as we go to the loot house where the old man is and we are even. A threat for a threat, right?” Felt’s trust would be damaged until he stopped the Bowel Hunter but that was acceptable. His current stance was unmistakably that of an average warrior. Felt would never trust him like that.

Another fast nod.

“Ah, and don’t try to go a different path and lose me with your divine protection. I am asking you to lead me out of decorum. I already know where the loot house is”

A tear threatened to fall before she wiped her eyes. “I get it…let’s go.”

Subaru let out a breathless sigh. The original and easy going atmosphere of the first loop was lost by nothing other than his own hand. His gaze went to the latter, reminiscing about a memory that was now nothing but a lie.

…

Felt entered the loot house first like a criminal on death row goes to the execution grounds. Subaru, uncaring, entered with his usual easy-going gait. Rom, having noticed the fear in Felt, sat behind one of the tables. Seeing his death glare Subaru shrugged and threw him his phone.

The old man catched it mid air. “What’s this?” Was the growl, his hand clenching so much it threatened to break the tool.

“A metia. For your troubles.”

Both of them turned to him.

Subaru shrugged as he searched for a chair, not giving another word.

That let the old man examine the device in his hands, his eyes going to Subaru from time to time. Felt quickly retreated behind him, stealing glances with increasing frequency to the tool. The silence lasted little as Subaru started to repeatedly tap the wood on his chair, mentally counting the seconds. That noise slowly annoyed both of them, slowing down Rom’s work as the plan mandated. He needed them on the other extreme of the room, pissed at him. That made forcing them to run away easier.

Surprisingly, Felt was the one who addressed the black haired man. “Ehm, do you not have the payment for the insignia? We won’t give it up without nothing to show for it!” Her angry tone would have been adorable had it not contained distilled fear and hatred against Subaru.

“You steal something and then demand that I pay reparations?” Subaru raised an eyebrow. Keeping this persona up was easier on his attention and he needed to hear any and all sounds. An uncharted loop of different combinations, he needed to be ready. “But you shall get it. Old man, you know how much it is worth already, don’t you?”

“...twenty holy coins at the very least.”

Felt’s gaze went back to Rom, not believing a word he had uttered. Before she could start complaining someone knocked on the door.

“Come on in, Elsa.”

At Subaru’s words someone opened the door and walked in. Her gaze scanned the room, searching for the one who had misnamed her. Subaru almost fell from his chair. Had Reinhard not delivered the message?

“I think you have the wrong person.” Emilia. It was Emilia.

“You never quit, do you?” The one he had never wanted to meet this soon, unprepared as he was. The one he had broken. The one who should never forgive him.

“Sorry, but this is something I cannot give up on. If you do as I say I won’t hurt you.” Her threat made, she reinforced it by creating half a dozen icicles around her, two aimed at each person inside. “I have only a demand. Return my insignia. It’s very important to me.”

Rom and Felt tensed at the sight. Subaru, still counting, struggled to stand up.

“If she were just another magic user I wouldn’t back down but this one’s…trouble…” Mumbled Rom.

“What’s with you, Old Man Rom? Admitting defeat before we even fight?”

Rom ignored that question and directed his full attention at Emilia. “Young lady, you are an elf, ain’t ya?”

She blinked slowly, annoyance radiating from that small gesture. “Not exactly. I’m only a half elf.”

Felt, having just recovered from her fear, fell into it again. “Half elf…silver hair…wait, are you…!?”

Emilia waved the question away. “It’s an accidental resemblance! Really, it is very bothersome to me.”

Felt moved her attention to Subaru, cleanly shaken up. “...you set me up, didn’t you?”

“What do you mean, aren’t you two working together?” Her baffled gaze turned from one to another.

‘No flower this time. Right, I destroyed that too. Was that why there has been variations in her appearances? Is further examination necessary? Did that extra leeway make her arrive before Elsa? If only I remembered correctly…’ Subaru shrugged. “Sorry, Felt. Was lying about everything. Just return her insignia already.”

“What?!?!” Screeched Felt.

His attention never left Emilia. She could not leave now as she would be targeted by the Bowel Hunter. Damn it. It sure was true that plans never resisted contact with the enemy, even if this case had been due to friendly fire.

“Why are you suddenly being so rude to her? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand either of you, either! What’s up with both of you!” Rom, in the chaos, had pocketed Subaru’s phone. Subaru would let it go as an apology for today. Subaru’s eyes, in them the same glint of Elsa’s blades frowned.

“Puck, shield Emilia-tan.” A simple order muttered but backed with thousands of years of his job as a regent. Puck had no choice but to obey that royal command, it having been uttered as if disobedience was impossible.

An ice shield covered Emilia’s back, blocking an oncoming well aimed strike from a blade. Emilia turned back in surprise, now facing a new intruder. Puck wasted no compliments in the warning, their alertness now evenly divided between the black haired boy and the assassin. The rest of the room turned to the Bowel Hunter.

“That’s a spirit, right? How wonderful.” Her trained mask did not betray her observation of Subaru. Her instincts screamed that he was the biggest danger in the room. Her eerie giggle was followed by a crazed statement. “I have never dissected a spirit’s stomach before.”

“Hey, what do you mean by th…” Felt felt a chill down her spine and turned to Subaru. He mouthed ‘Run away. Now. With Rom.’ His glare of now was extra insurance. Keep her doubting her enemies and allies. Let her believe there was only one logical move. 

Elsa tilted her head at Felt. “If the item’s original owner is here, we can hardly negotiate, so I have changed my plans. I shall slaughter everyone here. You failed to see your job to the end. And you even talk big game but you do terrible work. You really are just another slum dweller.” 

Felt’s rage boiled up again but a new set of steps cut her ire short.

“And who are you supposed to be? The Sword Saint of criminals? Don’t make me laugh. You got outdone by two people, one of them an average joe.” Subaru, with his arms crossed, moved from his chair and faced Elsa, leaving reasonable space between the two of them left. “And, really, isn’t it plain worse to throw the game table once you start losing? What happened to your self respect as a…”

Elsa sprung into action, noticing he was buying time for the spirit. Her rush ahead was met with half a bottle perfectly thrown onto her face. Hitting both of her eyes with shards of glass, she still moved to Subaru’s position thanks to her memory and battle tactics, slashing with breathtaking accuracy despite her condition. Subaru parried it with the plank of wood he had picked before, predicting the strike and hitting the blade on its side to deviate it from its angle as he dodged as little as he could so as to be ready for the next strike. Not content with that, he twirled the brunt weapon as he turned around and hit Elsa in the back of the neck with such force that it broke. Fifty loops had it taken. She had demonic haste.

Her stance broken, Elsa tripped ahead as her regeneration started to patch her up.

“Thanks for the help, boy.” Puck, powered up, turned to the bowel hunter. “My name’s Puck. Remember it when you die, please.” Their tone cheerful, their sentence was concluded with a rain of ice shards shot at the killer.

Elsa managed to barely cover herself in her black cloak before being encased with ice.

“Did we get…”

“Run away now and search for help!” Growled Subaru, glaring daggers at Felt, while the dust started to settle.

She, after all of his abuse, would have refused had she not seen the look of resignation in his eyes. That was the look of a man who believed they were going to die. A shaky nod and she led Rom away together with her. Subaru nodded as they left. Rom did not deserve to get wounded because of him.

“Oh, ignoring your opponent without confirming the kill?” Sung Elsa from beneath the ice as her clothes glowed and destroyed the ice around her. Free from the ice and eyes clean of shards, Elsa rushed for Subaru again.

“Don’t underestimate a spirit arts user!” Making a pose with her hand, she manifested similar icicles to Puck and both of them launched them against the assassin, providing covering fire for the young boy.

Dodging, weaving and destroying the icicles as she moved, Elsa suffered not as she dived again at Subaru. What followed was a fast paced battle in which Subaru kept parrying all of her strikes. Sometimes with the plank, others by kicking her blades at the strictest timing, the least by punching or slapping. He dodged only the ones he could not parry, trying to wound her hands as they fought. ‘Damn it. My body is useless by this point. If this keeps up my stamina will run in seconds.’ He took into account not his pained wrists and muscles, unused to the contortions his mind was forcing them to do.

“For a girl, you are well accustomed to battle.” Quipped Puck as they threw a new barrage, giving Subaru a small breather.

“My, it has been a while s…” Her instincts flared and she dodged, the rock kicked by Subaru missing her right eye. That distraction was followed by another barrage, forcing her to jump on a table and focus her attention on the new ice attacks.

‘Too tired. All this preparation, wasted due to my weakness.’ Subaru, wheezing and with his body in pain, tripped forward.

“Still, you are so strong. I almost pity you.”

Elsa started to take advantage of the room itself, deciding to jump from corner to corner and all over the walls as she gauged their reactions. “My, to be praised by a spirit, I am deeply touched.” 

Subaru, out of the confrontation for now, backed away and got closer to Emilia and Puck, readying himself for the next phase of the fight. His counting had yet to stop and the day was rapidly reaching five o’clock. He did not need to look at the window to know that the light of the sun was being snuffed as nighttime fell on this loop.

Noticing their apprehension, Elsa threw a jab. “Oh, and just when we were having fun. What a bore.”

Puck shrugged, not willing to lose his concentration with the second threat approaching Emilia. “You know, staying late is bad for your skin, so we should wrap this up!”

Elsa’s smirk grew a bit as she dodged another attack only to realise one of her feet had gotten stuck in ice, preventing her movement.

“I wasn’t randomly throwing those around.” Puck flew and sat on one of Emilia’s shoulders, their pride radiating from their confident movements. 

“Oh, have I been had?” Her tone betrayed her lack of care for her mishap.

“Goodnight!” Puck shouted as Emilia prepared a powerful magic attack with both hands. The magnificent strike was a terrifying trail of sharp ice shot straight at her.

Uncaring for her wounds, Elsa tore part of her own foot off and managed to dodge most of the attack.

“My, how lovely. I thought I was going to die.” She seemed to not feel the pain of her mangled foot, blood flooding out of it and staining the floor below.

Puck frowned as they let out a yawn. 

“Puck, can you keep going?”

They threw a gaze to the boy, their breathing stabilising. Surprisingly, his mind was determined to protect them both. “...Sorry, I’m really sleepy…I underestimated her a bit. My mana’s gone so I have to disappear.”

Emilia nodded, her words confident. “I will take care of things here, so you can rest. Thank you.”

“...if it comes down to it, call me, even if you have to squeeze me out of my od.” After that whisper Puck disappeared into thin air.

‘More altered dialogue…’ Subaru frowned and filled Puck’s current behaviour under dangerous variances. They had not made the threat. That one he remembered well.

“Are you going away?” The mocking tone was followed by a pout. She hesitated not to place her foot on a piece of ice, the latter letting out some steam as it healed and stuck on it. She tapped her new shoe onto the ground before starting to walk towards them. “Well, that is very unfortunate.” Not doubting, Elsa charged, this time switching targets, believing the boy to be exhausted and out of the fight.

Emilia dashed forward as she manifested a shield and ice shard and faced the killer’s attacks. Nonetheless, Elsa’s mobility was soon dampened by Subaru’s throws. Every stone, bottle or piece of wood either hitting her where it hurt or missing by causing her to alter her movement, opening her to Emilia’s strikes.

“Isn’t it boorish to cut in our dance?” Hissed Elsa, seriously annoyed by the constant pestering of the boy as she took another hit from Emilia. Her murderous glare was interrupted by an icicle trying to take advantage of her distraction. Dodging it, her head got hit by another rock. Her forehead bled just enough to get blood in her eyes, losing her some sight and making her go on the defensive.

‘Seriously annoying.’ Changing her plans again, Elsa started to circle around them as to position Emilia in front of the boy. Waiting for an icicle, she crushed it with inhuman strength and used its small cloud of ice to hide her knife throw.

Subaru, as if having seen this before, stepped forward and extended his right arm in front of Emilia, trapping the knife in his forearm and protecting her from that cheap shot. Elsa clicked her tongue before seeing his gaze. Uncaring. Unrelenting. Filled with boundless confidence. As if he had set up this very same stage.

“...that’s a good look, boy.” She should not have switched targets. She had thought him too tired to be useful and that had caused this standstill.

“Don’t forget about me!” True to her word, another burst of ice shards hunted Elsa, even if they were blocked like nothing.

Emilia’s gaze did its best to not turn to the wounded boy, knowing she could not offer any windows of opportunity. She would heal him later. Still, her worry grew. They were not winning, just stalling the fight.

Elsa stood taller, the wariness of before lessening. “While this game has been entertaining, I think this is the end. Or can you amuse me more?” Her smirk widened a bit as Subaru switched the plank from right hand to left.

“I can try.” He turned not to the half elf, fully trusting her aim. The clock was ticking. All this noise should have alerted someone even if Felt and Rom had run away with both insignia and phone. He knew his safe houses so he would simply have to either hunt them down or better his next loop.

Emilia’s worried gaze followed his back. While he had held his ground, he looked like an average person in terms of combat capabilities. “...don’t do something rash.”

The ‘You know me’ died in his throat. He shook his head. He was, right now, emotionally compromised, lessening his chances of success. He breathed in, Elsa proving her patience as she waited for his preparations. ‘Never again I am getting close to you, Emilia-tan. I will simply be the knight you need to help you shine by yourself.’ He prepared his stance.

Elsa twirled her blades.

“That’s enough!”

Subaru’s mask broke into a small smile. “Rein! All good on our end! Hit the bowel hunter hard!” Screamed Subaru as he threw his wood plank through Elsa’s and Emilia’s surprise, forcing the former to dodge out of habit.

Showing a surprisingly high level of trust in the black haired man, Reinhard rushed in as he grabbed the beaten wooden plank and swung at Elsa with velocity akin to lightning. The blow was so potent it blew up the entire loot house.

“That’s my Rein!” Screamed Subaru, mask back in place. Slow and steady. He would have to remember that as he tried to build his confidence up. “Awesome! As expected of my friend!”

Reinhard turned to both of them. While still a bit unsure in the title, the continuous honesty of Subaru was grinding down the small caution he had towards the uncanny boy. The plank of wood, having been granted a most heroic purpose, banished proudly into dust from the sheer power it had channeled. “I thank you for your most kind compliments even if I am ashamed by my tardiness.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, friend….Wait…My stick!” Subaru fell to his knees, visibly hurt by the loss of his trusty companion of months. He was slowly getting the hang of his old theatrics. At least he thought.

“There isn’t a shadow left…Is it over now?” Asked Emilia, redirecting the conversation back to the matter of real importance as she looked over where the bowel hunter had been.

“Well, there’s still the matter of your insignia. Felt must have bucked it halfway across the capital.” Reminded Subaru, his gaze turning back to his apathetic sharpness of before for half of a second. “Ah, right. I almost forgot. Thanks, Rein. Seriously. You saved me again.”

Reinhard tilted his head a bit, a small smile expressing his gratitude. “Actually, Subaru,” They followed his gaze to a Felt badly hiding behind a broken wall. “She was the one who called for my help. I happen to find her desperately running across the streets asking for help.”

“That’s…” Emilia's glare was interrupted by Subaru’s wave. Her gaze turned worried as he was waving the injured arm.

“I can’t say I expected this from you so…My bad?” Subaru hit his head in a gesture reminiscent of Puck’s antics.

“You…your bad!? I am paying back all the fear you just made me feel ten-fold!” Felt slammed her right foot on the ground and barreled towards them, her hands raised as if she was going to choke him out.

Subaru, now faking a smirk, pointed at Emilia with his thumb. “First things first…” ‘About now I believe?’

“Subaru!” Reinhard called for his new friend, panic evident in his voice. He was too slow. Elsa had reappeared and was rushing at Emilia. His reflexes failed him and forced him to watch as Subaru kicked another plank of wood with unseen mastery and flawlessly blocked the strike directed at Emilia’s stomach by stepping in front of her, as if the three of them were performing a play. Not content with that, he smacked her back on the face, breaking her nose as the two pieces of the wood plank separated.

“You got in my way again!” Growled Elsa, jumping backwards as she threw another blade only for it to be blocked by Reinhard’s slap. A good distance away, she couldn’t resist making a promise. “Soon enough I will disembowel everyone here.” She jumped again, dodging a few icicles more and reaching a pillar. “Until then, take care of your bowels.” As if she had been a mirage she banished with practised stealth.

Reinhard, already next to the two of them, turned his worried gaze away from the bowel hunter. “Are you both unwounded?”

“Whether I’m unhurt or not doesn’t matter! More importantly, ” She pushed Reinhard lightly and faced the beaten and tired Subaru. “You have been nothing but reckless! Are you alright?!”

“Oh, it was no problem.” An easy going smile. All was going well. “Just a bit tired of today but nothing a good night of uninterrupted sleep will fix. Continuous small naps are hell incarnate. What’s more,” Subaru pointed at the sky and did his pose. A bit rusty despite the recent practice, he continued nonetheless, “My name’s Natsuki Subaru! The one who just saved your life from a heinous villain! Do we agree on that?”

Emilia frowned, a bit wary of the sudden switch of his attitude. “...okay?”

His perfect yet fake smile widened. “Great. I, your rescuer, saved your life. And you are the he-heroine I saved!” His voice cracked, the once familiar word sounding alien even to himself. “So, you would have to repay me in kind, right?”

She gave a slow now, her wariness increasing. “...if it is within my power.” Her glare worsened. What could this boy demand from her?

“In that case I only have a request!” His mind screamed a warning. His ignored body finally forced itself to be heard. Subaru glanced downwards to his stomach. “Oh…I did not remember this, like, at all.” ‘Yet another memory I corrupt by my incompetence.’

Subaru’s guts burst open, insides and blood spilling everywhere as he fell down. 

“Subaru!”

‘I really am a horrible human. I made her suffer again.’ Darkness befell him.

…………

Chapter Text

“There. His treatment should be mostly complete.” Stated Emilia.

Reinhard stared at the now healed man. Apart from the usual wounds of combat, torn muscles and the bowels, he had found what he thought to be self inflicted wounds. Still, what did the symbols in his left arm mean? DXII? His doubts flared again. “By the way, Emilia-sama, what is your relationship with Subaru?”

“A…passing acquaintance?” Her frown reappeared. “I don’t recall ever meeting him before. I think…thought that our meeting today was the first time we saw each other.”

“...he seemed to be distressed about your safety. He called for my help to stop you from coming to this loot house.”

“That’s why it’s strange…” ‘And he knew my and Puck’s name too.’

“He is dangerous, that much I can tell you!” Intruded Felt.

“...nevertheless, I find myself unable to leave him to his fate or to condemn him to the knights.” Reinhard examined Subaru again. “...I would be able to invite him as a house guest.”

A flash of the boy defending her flashed through her mind. “No. I will take him home with me. That way I can learn why he was so worried about me.”

Felt scoffed. “You will regret your decision when he stabs you in the back.”

“Speaking about regret, you!” 

Before Emilia’s rant could start Felt looked away. “I know. You saved my life and I won’t let that debt go unpaid. I will return the insignia. Just…don’t get it stolen next time.”

Emilia pouted at that. “It feels funny having you give me that warning!”

Grimacing, Felt opened her hand with the insignia. The stone was glowing.

………

“I know that ceiling.” It was not a statement that gave him any distress. He knew a lot of ceilings by memory. Most of his deaths had been due to poisoning after all. Blinking slowly, he started to take stock of his body, patting muscles, wounds, and his left arm. ‘The marks are gone. Od damn it. Five hundred and twelve was it? Still, first of all, which checkpoint will I have? That needs testing first. The sooner the better so that I may repeat everything without forgetting.’

He noticed he was dressed in a robe as he sat up. Patting his stomach, that wound was already gone. “Too skillful healing for Emilia-...for lady Emilia…” Who else could heal in this so far ago past? He could not remember. Getting out of the bed he examined the barebones room before leaving it with no hesitation. He had no weapons on him so the kitchen was his best bet. There were no mirrors to check what face he was making either. He would have to ask for one.

Leaving the room, a weird forest painting welcomed him. His legs turned jelly again. His mind dared to hope. Turning around, he opened the first door with too much intensity, almost dislocating his arm.

“What profoundly aggravating man you are, I suppose.”

He fell to his knees. Tears started to stream down his eyes. His blurry vision noticed the surprised expression of Beako, almost leaving the stool to check up on him.

“You…you are…here…moving without a…”

“What foolishness are you spewing, I suppose!? You believed me to be a statue, in fact?!”

Subaru moved to stand up. He owed her this. “I have always regretted never learning anything about you, Beako. Could you tell me your favourite book?”

“...practicalities of Yin magic by Mother.” The worry had disappeared from her eyes. Alertness spiked as she measured the anomaly in front of her.

“The third edition or the fifth?” Subaru rolled his eyes at the memory. “Echidna sucked at rewriting them. For all her attention to detail she could be very squeamish about redoing things she already knew.”

“The first…Who are you?”

“Huh. That one was hard to read. As expected of Beako.” Subaru walked alongside the bookshelves, fingers trailing the books he had repaired with Echidna’s help instead of Beatrice. He had never wanted to destroy something so much before. ‘Huh…my emotions are certainly unstable. Not that it matters for this loop is over. Still, I need to get over them during it or I will fuck up the next one.’ “And your favourite colour?”

“White, in fact.” A few dozens of purple crystal shards had materialised around Beatrice. “Who are you?”

“Beautiful El-Minya. Your magic is as awesome as always.” Subaru, now in front of her, smiled brightly. “Thanks for answering.” After bowing to her, he stood up, smiling bright. Greed had not worked out so another name was in place for him. After all, what was his goal but pure arrogance? Why strive for what he knew was beyond him? Wasn’t that pure madness? Still, there would be no other future that would be allowed by him. All of them would be alive at the end. And happy too. A happy ending for them all. “Representing Pride and old possessor of five Witch Factors, Natsuki Subaru, Archbishop of Pride. A pleasure to meet you again, Beatrice, Great Spirit of the Forbidden Library.” He bowed again, deeper this time.

Beatrice did not doubt an instant before blasting Subaru into a red paste.

…

“What profoundly aggravating man you are, I suppose.”

“I can do with this checkpoint.” Plainly stated Subaru, honest smile still in place.

Beatrice shut her book at his words, her attention on him.

“Ups, that was supposed to be a thought. Next time I will get it right, sorry Beako. Still, I am sure you deserve the honour of killing me.”

“...what you talking ab…” She frowned as she noticed that the witch’s smell around him had increased.

Subaru bowed again. “Archbishop Natsuki Subaru, representing pride.”

“El-Minya.”

…

“What profoundly aggravating man you are, I suppose.”

“First NPC found!” The pronunciation of the expression was all wrong. ‘Should I restart already? I need to make our first meeting perfect. She deserves nothing less.’ He decided to keep going. He needed the practice. “I would say you would ruin your cute face with that attitude but it is plain impossible! I would love a smile still!”

“The only smile worth giving you is a derisive sneer.” She closed her book. The smell had gotten stronger. Her eyes reflected not her internal thoughts.

“Are you mad because I guessed it right the first time? I will agree that it was mere beginners’ luck. That Yin spell of yours is beyond impressive.” He scratched his head, a happy half smile on his face. “Nothing you can do about my luck, so long despised by game masters, so sorry.” He looked around with perfect surprise. “So, what is this place, anyways?”  

“Who are you?”

Subaru froze up for a few seconds. He sighed, scratching his head again. “What gave it away?”

“Your acting is all over the place, I suppose.” Her glare was more threatening than the dozen of crystal shards behind her. “But I know fake surprise when I see it.”

“Fair enough.” His smile mostly died, only a small happy smirk remained. “...will you believe me if I say that I regret not saving you?”

“Not saving me from what?”

Another sigh. “Nevermind that. Let’s get this going, shall we?” His gaze, still warm, zoned on Beatrice. Not as miserable. Not as certain of her end. Still hoping for a tomorrow even if she refused to believe her own wish. ‘I promise I will blow away the sadness in you, Beako.’ His smile widened. “Representing Pride, Natsuki Subaru!”

…

“What profoundly aggravating man you are, I suppose.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Subaru tapped his lips as Beatrice suddenly tensed up. His stench was tainting the whole library. This was certainly becoming a problem. Should it go on for long enough he was sure Beatrice would start attacking first and asking questions later. Subaru shrugged. ‘One more loop won’t change it.’ He was enjoying seeing her too much. “May I ask what I could work on to stop?”

“...explaining your situation would be a good start, in fact.” Her book had been closed mid sentence. Her glare on all of his movements.

Subaru’s mask broke. His poker face moved in as he started, “You could say I have been cursed by the Witch of Envy.”

His explanation only furthered her ire. He smelt like a cultist, looked like one, acted like one and had the mood swings of one. Not looking good for Subaru despite his low mana reserves. “I demand a bit more precision in your explanation.”

He shrugged. “Ros-chi should have that answer.” He was talking too much. He should reset. But he could not, for every word exchanged with this Beatrice was a treasure. His greatest sin, fixed in front of him. He would, of course, keep a distance. He would not burden her. “If you tell him we have had this conversation quite a few times.” His tone came too forceful, too angry.

“You make no sense, cultist.” The last word was spat.

“I am no cultist. Never had. Never will.” His words were mixed with real anger.

Beatrice blinked. She could believe the emotions in his voice. But not him himself. What’s more, he had just threatened Roswaal. Jumping down the stool, she walked towards him. “Then prove it.”

Subaru nodded and awaited for the mana drain.

…

“What profoundly aggravating man you are, I suppose.”

“Indeed I am.” He sighed, dizziness assaulting him. The mana drain was never a pleasant experience, its tiredness carrying over on his mind. He had to take hold of one of the bookshelves to not fall. “Sorry for skipping your puzzle.” 

Beatrice stared at him, book still open. “You would call the magic of the greatest Yin spirit a mere puzzle?”

“Isn’t that what magic is? A puzzle that is both the challenge and the solution? Your infinite corridor does just that, a permanent loop if you do not find the correct door. You choosing it to be the first one was just you being mean.” ‘If I enter a permanent death loop, would I turn back to the first one or would I die? Fighting against Beatrice won’t happen so it must be the former option.’

She frowned. “Too reductionist and simplistic of an explanation, in fact. Your arrogance is laughable, acting as if you could cast my own spell!”

“You are right. Regrettably, I can't. My gate is too undeveloped for that.”

“...so you believe yourself capable of doing such should you have the mana available to, I suppose?”

A confident nod from Subaru. Not a single doubt. “I am a Yin magic user after all. I could not learn from the best so I had to make do but I believe I can prove to possess a tenth of your skill.”

Beatrice’s glare had competitiveness in it. “With your pitiful gate? Don’t get ahead of yourself, in fact! You are not worth a millionth!”

Subaru smirked at her, unused to her energy. “Minya, I suppose.” The purple crystal he handcraft was exquisitely forged as to consume the minimum mana possible. To control it without it banishing into thin air would be beyond most normal mages. Rotating it midair, he looked at Beatrice with an eyebrow raised, challenging her.

“...Minya.” Her cristal, a shining green, was as perfect as his but not as efficient.

“Minya.” His shard had turned a black stake.

“Minya.” Hers had a pattern of different colours.

Subaru snapped his fingers. His shard, still black, now was surrounded by a cloud of darkness. He had combined both Shamak and Minya. It lasted for a few seconds until his mana had fully ran out, causing him to drop onto the bookshelf and slide to the ground. “...you still think the same?”

Beatrice widened her eyes a bit before resuming her usual cold expression. “I stand corrected. You may have a thousandth of my talent.”

At that Subaru let out a small snicker. “Talk about a compliment. I won’t let your expectations down.”

Beatrice closed her book and jumped out of her stool.

‘This loop has been…fun. I really have missed you, Beako.’ His gaze, affable and warm, slowed down not the spirit. 

“Betty has had just about enough entertainment for today.” Her gaze hid something behind it. A hope rekindled. “She apologises for this precaution, I suppose.” She muttered as her hand pointed at his belly. 

‘Here it comes…’ The prior exhaustion combined with the mana drain, bringing darkness to his eyes. “I…enjoyed today very much…thanks.” He passed out before hearing an answer, the strange words resonating in Beatrice.

…

“I know that ceiling.” ‘The checkpoint had indeed changed. He did not know why it had created a new one before returning him farther but these past loops had proven it to be solid. Unusual. Did he...’

“Oh, he has awakened, sister.”

“Indeed, he has awakened, Rem.” 

Two voices he could almost not remember revealed the unsettling truth. He had not died this time. Slowly sitting up, his emotionless gaze searching for the source of the voice. A perfect smile was put on his face as kindness slipped into his eyes when he learnt of the two oni in front of him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m up. Sorry for dozing off again.” ‘Rem grimaced…Right, my scent is way worse than the original loop. I will make do with it.’

His mind started to play the scenario of the old loop. He had missed his chance and, even if he had it, he would need practice before being able to replicate it. ‘But…would practising itself not endanger the mission more? Rem seems to be at the end of what she can tolerate without open aggression.’

A gentle knock brought him out of his small world and forced the matter of the unheard words of the maids away. The beautiful half elf didn’t go past the doorway when she opened the door. “Is everything all right, Subaru? I am sorry for us for knocking you out just as you got up.”

Subaru handwaved the question with an easygoing smile. “No harm, no foul as they say.” ‘His mistake was compounding. More untested, unknown dialogue. Resetting was a necessity. Yet, no matter how much, he always got it wrong when it mattered.’ After all, when he tried to put the script back in place, he could not utter a word. He felt undeserving of complimenting Emilia. 

Emilia glanced at the two maids who were hiding their vigilance perfectly and went back to Subaru. “Are you feeling alright? Does anything feel off?” Her smile, once gentle, was now forced.

“Just a bit groggy from oversleeping. While I wanted a good night of sleep, one and a half days was pushing it a bit.” He let out a laugh. It did not feel forced, right? He could not burden them more. Get the script back on track. Protect them. Save the village. And for that he had to smile. He had to make them happy. That was his only worth, his only mission, the only reason for his existence. “Still, thank you for saving me.”

Her smile turned a bit more honest thanks to relief. “I’m the one who should thank you. You barely know me but you risked your life to save me. It’s only natural I would heal your wounds after that.”

Subaru frowned a bit at that. “There really was no need to worry about me, lady Emilia.” He examined the room away, three pairs of eyes judging him. “Still, I guess it is time to start the day, isn’t it?”

Being led out of the room, Subaru struggled to not move by muscle memory, having spent a very long time in this mansion. The garden was as nostalgic as he remembered. While smaller than in his memory now that he had lived in bigger ones, he gazed around, green, yellow and brown welcoming him. Suddenly, his expression turned distressed.

“Is something wrong, Subaru? Your hands are…”

The mask was put in place and he recovered back to his earlier happiness as if that moment had been an illusion. “No, not one problem, lady Emilia. I just noticed I forgot how to do something.” Despite his words and sudden change, his gaze was locked on a patch of dirt. Another memory turned a lie. Another failure and one he could really not repair. He could not bring what did not exist if he did not remember at all.

“Oh…” Emilia catched the undertone of sadness despite it being well hidden and her mood lowered too.

Puck suddenly flew out of Emilia's hair and yawned. “Really, how’s the mood so down when today has such a beautiful sight.” They winked at Subaru as they faced Emilia. “And the garden is not bad either.”

Emilia laughed at that joke. The sound sent ripples through Subaru. “Puck! Good morning!”

“And hi, Subaru. Great morning, isn’t it?”

Subaru smirked at the cat. “For me it has felt like a fairly long morning with nothing but chaos in it. Looping hallways, a mean Be-girl and a nightmare in which I am frozen to death by a fire spirit. Crazy, right?” At the very least Puck’s actions had been revealed quite a few times. A threat was the only way to move the loop forward.

“You have nightmares?!” She turned to Puck as if asking for his help.

Puck, his perfect mask also hiding his sudden fear, shook their head in rejection. “Truly, for the saviour of my daughter to face such tribulations. I can never thank you enough. I must do something for you.”

“Huh…” Subaru seemed to fall deep in thought. Puck’s frown worsened, not being able to read a sole thought in his head. “Then…how about letting me pet you whenever?”

Emilia’s gaze jumped to surprise as she turned back to him. “Huh? That’s all?”

“Your father looks very fluffy.” ‘Was this the original dialogue? He had stopped thinking about Puck a very long time ago.’ “The honour of patting such quality fur outweighs any other possible rewards!”

“You…you are joking, right?” Emilia interjected while Puck flew away a bit and sat on Emilia’s shoulder.

‘Huh…Bad call. Need to reassess. Was it really that off putting? Why did it happen in the original loop?’ A small pause. Subaru started to scratch his head and turned away a bit. “Yeah, it was a joke. My bad if it wasn’t that funny. I will simply ask to meet with the master of the mansion.”

Emilia opened her mouth to answer but Puck interjected. “That is not within our authority to give, boy.”

Subaru shrugged. “Then I will simply accept the thanks and you can forget about owning me anything as an apology for the offensive joke.”

At that Puck frowned. He meant that. Before the conversation could continue both maids appeared. “Emilia-sama, our lord, Roswaal-sama has returned. Please, come inside.”

The walk back was silent, not one of the four of them knowing how to engage the suddenly serious boy.

…

Sitting at the table inside the dining hall, and Beatrice having joined in but waiting near the door, her gaze still on Subaru, Roswaal finally entered the room. 

Still dressing like the clown he had always known him for, Subaru’s mask did not reveal his true feelings for the horrid man. So sunk was in his thoughts that the conversation around went unheard. Before, he had been a tool. His. Right now, he was a threat to everyone. Blinking, Subaru noticed that food had already been served. ‘How long was I planning for?’ His surprise reflected not on him. Neither did he pay any mind to the probing look of the mage.

Roswaal was the first one to move. “Now, if I hadn’t taken you for a strange young man I could have been a bit angry at your lack of respect but...”

Subaru soundlessly breathed in. “Whatever we need to discuss, Ros-chi, let’s do so in private, alright? While we may be going off script, you should know what that means, right? I will offer to work as a butler in this mansion as repayment for the favour of saving the candidate to the throne you are supporting.”

A flash of greed and contentment flashed through Roswaal’s gaze. “Now…isn’t that interesting. Let us write the fine print of your contract after this excellent dinner prepared by our beloved Rem, yes?”

Ignoring both glares of the maids and the confused stare of Emilia, Subaru nodded and returned to his plate. It had been a long while since he had eaten something. He cared not about the flavour.

…

Roswaal reclined on his personal chair in his study as Subaru entered, not bothering to fully close the door. He would end up dropping on the chair in front of his desk, his posture more indolent than his stance during dinner. The mage noticed that the rhythmic tapping on the desk the young man started to do never stopped. As if he was counting the seconds. A small smirk appeared on his face. “So…”

“First of all, clown.” Subaru tilted his head. “I despise you. My cooperation with your objective of reviving the Witch of Greed will be solely based on this camp’s well being and happiness. Of course, dealing with continuous threats to my life would be tiresome so recall the orders of observation you gave to the maids. Plus, reign Rem in a bit more, please. Her weapon causes painful wounds.” His face did not echo the sentiments behind the last sentence.

“...and why should I do that?” Roswaal’s tone was devoid of his usual playfulness. His glare was on the man in front, whose position was starting to balance between a very useful pawn and a dangerous anomaly.

“Because you would rather not have me as an enemy, Ros-chi.” Subaru’s eyes had both boredom and irritation. “You need me for your plans after Sanctuary. That book of wisdom of yours will tell you as much.”

“You display an arrogance unbecoming of a weakling such as you.” Roswaal shuffled on his chair, greatly enchanted by the man in front. But that would only stand if he was as determined as he needed him to be and if he was chained to Emilia. The latter seemed possible but was not set on stone. Roswaal snapped his fingers and conjured an Al-Goa. “Should I test that resolve of yours?”

“Clown.” Subaru’s voice was plain ice, contrasting against the fireball. “How many times do you believe we have had this conversation? Do you want a rough estimate, a precise number or a ‘I was lying this is the first time we have talked like this’? At least switch the spell sometimes, it’s getting boring.”

Roswaal repressed a shudder. His Al-Goa slowly disappeared. He sat properly on his chair. “I will need some…”

“Maintain your attack in the village then. I will deal with it properly and I will follow what your gospel said. I need to be cursed by the mabeast of Meili Portroute, then go back for the cursed children and then purge the nest, right?”

Roswaal blinked a few times.

“Once I do that, I expect that there will be an understanding between you and me, clown. You will do as I say in matters of the Emilia camp including the royal selection and your own persona and I will support your ambitions of killing the dragon and resurrecting your damned teacher. Nevertheless, I won’t let you ever use them as disposable pawns.”

“I find myself unable to entrust you with my goals at this point in time, whoever you will deal with the incoming attacks on the village.”

“Then let’s stretch the goalpost to liberate Sanctuary my way. Didn’t you say that the liberation of the Sanctuary would be proof of my resolve? You may interfere with Puck’s pact too, I do not care. Play all the cards in your hand. Once you are out of moves you will bend the knee.” Subaru’s chair creaked as he reclined further, filled with nothing but immovable confidence.

“I…would say so, wouldn’t I?” Mutter Roswaal, back on the back of the chair again. His piercing eyes never stopped examining the mask that was Subaru. He could use him but…would their partnership be in that direction or the other one? However it turned out to be, the Book had never lied and, if he reached his desired end he would play whichever tool and part the boy needed. Roswaal sighed, a happy glint in his eyes. Subaru was ready enough. He had transformed himself into his own tool. This was an acceptable outcome. “So be it, I shall agree to your terms. I will keep following the Book of Wisdom until Sanctuary is liberated and you have overcome any obstacles in it. Whoever, if you fail to clear Sanctuary in a different way than the one stated in the book, I shall win this bet-”

“Then let’s make an oath, shall we?” Interrupted Subaru, hating every second of this conversation. ‘Like looking in a mirror.’ “Like in the past that shall never come to be.”

Roswaal’s smile widened at that. “And what will you offer for my full cooperation in case you lose?”

“Everything I am and can do.”

…

‘And she should have heard mostly everything. A necessary step to break her from Roswaal.’ 

“Sir.” Ram, standing outside of the room, bowed at him. “Roswaal-sama has asked of me to…”

“Prepare my uniform, yes. You will have to measure me as none of the ones you have here will fit well.” In an emotionless tone Subaru started to walk ahead. ‘Now, will the checkpoint remain there? If so, he should really note this all down. The more repetitions the more danger from Rem and of myself forgetting a word to be said. For now, I should keep this loop straightforward. Learn as much as possible, see the dangers. I will reset near the end.’

Ram had to speed up to follow him, her eyes catching up a drop of blood running down his left arm. “Sir, your injuries seem to have reopened.”

He waved his words again. “This was merely to keep tally of the tries, you know? Speaking with the lord of the mansion is heavy business. Thank Od he seems completely sane.” He could not resist the jab at the clown. ‘Not that I am one to speak of sanity.’

Ram’s mask was as good as Subaru’s, revealing nothing of her own thoughts. “I see. My apologies if I overstepped. It will not happen a second time.” She looked ahead.

He suddenly stopped, “Oh, right. You do not need to measure me. I remember the sizes. May I tell you so you do not have to bother?”

Ram nodded, having heard the bizarre conversation back then and being less surprised by him.

“And last thing. No need to teach me the ropes nor the way around the mansion. I will manage.”

Another nod, this one imperceptibly shaky. She would not let him get near her sister.

…

“Don’t you know how to knock on a door, I suppose?”

Subaru shrugged. “Had I knocked you would have changed the location of the door.”

Beatrice didn’t defend herself. Her gaze returned to the book she was reading. “What brings you here, I suppose?”

“I need a safe place to sleep today.” Yawning, Subaru advanced and sat next to Beatrice, his hands supporting his sitting position.

“And why would you believe me to want to protect you?”

‘Because you always protect me.’ “Because you are absurdly kind. I do not get how you manage to be like that...And there’s a bribe in it for you.” 

Angered, Beatrice turned to Subaru only to realise he meant those words fully. Squinting at him, she returned to her book. “I do not need to sleep so I will remain up nonetheless, in fact. There’s no need for you to try and curry favour with me nor buy my cooperation.”

“I was just stating the obvious, Beako.” She huffed at the nickname but added nothing more, the hope growing. A small silence as Subaru finally stopped counting. “Let’s say…do you mind talking about Yin magic? The night is still young.”

She closed the book and the bookshelves moved, changing the closest one to magic books. “I was thinking of resuming our challenge of before, in fact.”

Subaru let out a bright laugh at that. “Then let's change that evaluation to a hundredth!” 

…

Subaru’s morning started at four in the morning. Starting with heavy exercise to survey his young body’s capabilities he made a mental note to keep working out and build a routine during his loops. He needed to get used to the feeling of exhaustion in this body. Next was caring for the front yard, garden, polishing the silver, airing the futons, cleaning the bathrooms and the mansion of grime. He left out lunch from his duties out of consideration for their fears.

A wordless morning came and went fairly quickly, his mind fully focused on the problems ahead. Neither his expertise nor intentionally evading the maids made him approachable, causing both maids to despise him even more strongly despite the new orders given to them. Rem in particular was certainly dangerous, even going as far as to cause him to loop several times by varying degrees of violence such as throwing him down the stairs, not that he blamed her.

As lunch time approached, Subaru moved by muscle memory and almost entered the dining hall before hearing the voices inside. Happy. Casual. Free of burdens. His trembling hand moved away from the handle and he sighed, unsure of what face he was making. He could cook something for himself later on so he decided to return to his room. He shook his head. His presence here on the small reunions was mandatory, lest Roswaal started moving erratically, but he needed not to drag the others down with his presence. First he needed to perfect his antics of before. He believed the excuse too.

Opening the door of his new room, he found himself entering the Forbidden Library.

“Subaru, I wanted to talk about…” Her voice trailed off as she looked at him.

His warm smile of always returned to his face. “Oh, Beako! I’m happy to see you! Strange for you to be this proactive but I wholeheartedly welcome it! What did you need?”

“Are…you fine, I suppose?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Her eyes lost some of their coldness. Her voice softened a bit. “You are crying, in fact.”

Subaru froze for a few seconds. Raising a firm and stable hand, he wiped the tears of his eyes. “Nevermind that, I just realised something silly.” His eyes a bit red, his tone softened as if to take the matter with the severity Beatrice seemed to want of it. “Thanks for worrying still. You are seriously good.”

Beatrice looked like she wanted to dig deeper into his seemingly important, from her perspective, problem so he cut to the chase.

“Was it about B.M.M.?”

“...Indeed it was.” Her eyes still showing her reticence, she let him run away from the matter. “I tested it but found myself unable to materialise it, in fact. Yet I find myself corrected from my reaction to your earlier display of arrogance. It was a mere statement of fact, I suppose.”

Subaru handwaved the compliment away. “You give me too much credit, Beako. I only applied your Infinite Hallway into a barrier set around a target. As you know, quite a few kinks have to be ironed out. The mana upkeep is an enormous drawback, it renders you immobile but I will admit it is one of the best barriers I have seen.” He paused. “From a theoretical point of view, of course. I could never really test it widely.” ‘The pain the spell caused was too much for a weakling like me.’

Beatrice tensed up. “You mean to tell me you designed a spell you were incapable of casting by yourself, in fact?!” 

Subaru scratched his head. “My bad.”

“So it really was arrogance!” Her cheeks turned red out of sheer shock. “I cannot understand it, I suppose. Why would you spend years working on a spell you could not cast without the help of someone with enormous expertise and high mana reserves to boot, I suppose.”

“Because I really wanted to use it together with someone.” Neither his eyes, smile nor tone reflected the wave of internal sadness that soared through him.

“I see, I suppose.” Her gaze lowered, seeing through his mask nonetheless. “That I can empathise with. What does the name mean?”

At that Subaru let out a small laugh. “You invite me to a drink in a bar and I give you an answer.”

Her eyes widened a bit.

His smile turned a teasing smirk, “Got a problem with that, Beako? Talking about the past is usually done in taverns.”

She rolled her eyes at that. “Leave it to you to detract the importance from any conversation, in fact. So, what about the second one?”

“Oh, R.M.T. you mean? That one’s a doozy!” Confident and comfortable steps and he sat next to Beatrice on a stool that had been randomly put there. “You see, there’s this great guy that’s just too good for his own good. And that man can just steal all of the atmospheric mana. I stole the concept and tried to replicate it with Yin magic. The two metres long barrier was the maximum dimension I could manage. Particularly useful against mages but requires a Yin spirit to use.”

“Could you go into some detail, in fact!”

Subaru’s smile turned fully honest as he turned to Beatrice. “If you promise to not steal the fruits of my hard and arduous labour.”

“Hump! As if I needed to steal from someone so below me!”

The both of them would lose the sense of time as they talked about old magic, magic soon to be born and improvements to both.

…

His stomach growling, he gave Beatrice a sad smile. “It’s been a wonderful evening and night but my stomach is killing me, Beako. Do you want to accompany me during second dinner?” Subaru asked, knowing full well what her answer was going to be. Yet, a mask can dream.

“I am too busy with these sketches, in fact! Come back quickly so we may continue, I suppose!”

Subaru snickered at that. As he approached the door, he heard Beatrice shuffle and he turned around.

Her eyes were piercing him with a mixture of the deepest hope and the heaviest existential dread. “Wait, Su-Subaru, before you go, are you…Nevermind, in fact!”

“Beako.” His tone turned as soft as the clouds above. “I will promise you, I am not leaving you. Not now, not ever. As long as my body holds and you want me there.”

The sudden confession that struck at her doubts made her tense up. Before her eyes could start tearing up Subaru turned around to spare her the embarrassment and left the door. Back in his room, he entered the bathroom and cleaned his face. Sighing, he turned to the mirror. ‘My smile is fine? That’s reassuring. Let’s test the frown now. The smirk. Giving the side eye. Rolling my eyes. Huh, I appear to be in top condition today.’

Standing taller, he dusted his uniform and tugged at its collar and gloves. He missed his good old suit but this one would do, even if it was a butler’s. Finally, after fifteen more minutes of practice he left the room.

Ram was behind, having been searching for him most of the evening. Her fury was well concealed. “Sir, we had expected you to take your duties seriously.”

“My apologies. Did I miss any spot?”

“You missed both lunch and dinner, sir. Lady Emilia got worried and asked me to check up on you.”

At that he frowned. “Why would she get concerned over me?” He tilted his head slightly and scanned the maid. Ram seemed to believe that what she was saying was true but that was not helpful in the least. She always believed dumb things, like him being worthy of her services. He looked away with an awkward smile. “Well, it was far from my intention, I simply lost track of time while talking with Beatrice.”

Ram’s suspicious gaze increased tenfold. “With the Great Spirit of the Forbidden Library, Beatrice? Sir…I hope it was a rewarding experience. I will communicate so to lady Emilia.”

“Thanks, Ram. Anything more?” His disarming smile was useless on the oni sister.

“That was all, sir.” Curtsying, she stepped aside and let Subaru continue on his own.

‘So, tonight’s Rem again? I need the food. Starving for days on end will only kill me later. Now, how to address the problem?’

‘First solution would be to fight her. Unfeasible. Around a thousand and a half loops of trial and error without taking into account Ram. Defeating both together would take around ten thousand, maybe twenty. Compounding on top of that, their defeat would only increase their hatred towards me and Roswaal’s expectatives.’ His silent steps did not echo in the hallways, too used to hiding his footsteps to not do so while deep in thought.

‘Second solution. Talking it out. It would not work. The longer I expose Rem to my stench the worse her paranoia will get. Ram will also always stand by her sister even if it goes against Roswaal’s orders. Any threat will instantly trigger her and I have no bribes she would want.’ Subaru entered the kitchen. So deep was in his thoughts that he appeared to not see Rem sitting next to the kitchen’s counter. She followed his every move as he started to cook himself something.

‘Third solution. Avoid any and all contact with them. I doubt Roswaal would mind me missing some of my duties due to our oath but it would cheapen my mission. Can I claim to be trying to make them happy when I am evading all of my duties by selfishly passing these onto them? Rejected.’ Making a sandwich prioritizing fulfillment and a balanced diet over taste, texture or appearance, Subaru was turning around before coming face to face with Rem. Still quiet, both stared at each other’s eyes.

‘Surprising, I am not dying yet.’ “Uhm, did you need something, Rem?”

“Are you going to eat that?” Disgust was evident in her voice, not bothering to look down at his ‘meal’.

Grabbing it with both hands, he turned a bit to protect his meal. “If you want one I can do another but this one is mine!”

Rem was not entertained by that. Her death stare was answer enough.

‘Fourth solution. Running away.’ He sighed in a melodramatic way. Waving his finger around, he started to point at her. “Yeeesh, Rem, I am starting to believe that my jokes are not that goo-Shamak.” 

The cloud of darkness hit her straight in the face. Subaru immediately ducked down, dodging the morning star strike that should have squashed his head. Instead, it hit the condiments cabinet, unleashing another cloud of a different type this time. Darting forward, he dodged and ducked over strikes too well aimed to have been averted by him. Jumping over another, “Minya.” His precise control of the spell developed into a thin crystal that managed to pierce through the hole of one of the chain’s links, nailing it to the ground and causing Rem to struggle to pull it back.

Crossing the door, he suddenly threw himself to the ground, dodging a blade of wind. He jumped into movement again, still dodging despite the attacks coming from his back. With no time to trust in anything but his instincts, he dived into the first door he saw. He fell face first into the floor of the forbidden library, his sandwich alive and battered but mostly well. ‘Only thirty three loops to save my meal. I am getting fairly skilled at dodging the two oni.’

A shocked Beatrice, having jumped out of her chair from fright, had turned to him. 

“I’m alright, I’m alright!” Closing the door with a kick, he turned around and breathed out, slowly calming his body down. “I had a very, very, minuscule, tiny itsy bit of a problem while cooking my sandwich and I may have…broken a cabinet with severe and great prejudice.”

Her frown deepened. “What cooking, I suppose? That seems to be raw food put together, in fact.”

“Wow! Beako, you can’t simply insult my sandwich like that!” Subaru’s glare had no bite to it. “Keep that up and I will have to enact my vengeance on you!”

Beatrice sighed. There had been no intruders on the mansion and she had been too engrossed in the spells to notice anything out of the ordinary. Shaking her head, she could only think that this man was weird. “I guess I have been forced to retract my objective evaluation of your choice of meal, however correct it may be, I suppose.”

“Speaking about correcting, do you mind me sleeping here again?” At her raised eyebrow he shrugged. “I fear the punishment that may fall on me from that chaos in the kitchen. Turns out, I am terrible at cooking.”

A bigger sigh. “...just do not inconvenience Betty, I suppose.”

……

Chapter Text

Having done his usual morning routine, this time Subaru made haste and showed himself during breakfast.

“Good morning, team!” His voice, loud and happy, startled the five of them. Pressing his hands together, he bowed his head. “I am terribly sorry for the kitchen cabinet! I have some know-how over woodwork so I will get it repaired in a flash. Before you can even say ‘How awesome you are, mister Subaru!’”

Emilia widened her eyes at that. “You broke an entire cabinet? How can you be so maladroit!?”

“Who even says maladroit these days.” Subaru seemed to miss the way Rem flinched at his words. “But, yeah, my bad. I am very sorry. Just tell me which planks of wood I can…”

“So it was you the one who made such a mess of the kitchen? We had to spend most of our morning repairing your failure, sir. I believe you shall do most of our work today in exchange for your lack of proper acting as a butler.” Ram interjected, her glare real yet still choosing to take his out.

Beatrice turned to him, Puck seated next to him. “Was your mishap that much of a problem, I suppose?”

“Your first proper day of work and you are already causing the rest of the maids trouble?” Puck, shaking their head, raised his hands in fake astonishment, already knowing his excuse to be a lie but deciding to go with it. “I expected better, Subaru.”

Dejected, Subaru lowered his head. “I can’t say anything against all that. My bad. Still, I will apologise to Ram after we are done with our breakfast and accept whatever chores she chooses to give.” ‘Thankfully, Roswaal is not here. Would he be entertained or angry at this dumb play? I can’t really tell.’

Ram nodded but, before they could return to their breakfast Emilia spoke.

“You did not get hurt, right?” Her tone was worried but distant.

He shook his head, appreciating the new distance between the two of them. She would be happier like this. “Ah, of course not, Lady Emilia! I excel at dodging unexpected happenstances.” His calming smile was directed at her with no second meanings yet Rem visibly flinched again. ‘Huh…did the mood sour? Should I try to lighten it up?’

The group would spend the rest of the breakfast under the assault of some of Subaru’s antics of before. Those would significantly speed up their meal as all of them wanted to leave alone the man with severe mood swings as fast as possible while Subaru started to try harder, not knowing what he was failing at.

…

Washing the dishes, Subaru welcomed himself into his mind. ‘My priorities have to change again. Why are they not enjoying the jokes and actions of the original loop? Must be a lack of practice. Should I dedicate a few dozen loops in trying to get the hang of it again? Dangerous, would increase Rem’s aggressiveness too much…Yet, should the loops keep up this dynamic, will the maids ever stop trying to kill me? If that was the only problem I would be fine with balancing deaths at their hands but…would the camp notice? Would Emilia be saddened by the maids’ rage?’

“Are you planning to wash that plate for a fifth time, sir?”

“Oh, sorry Ram, was too deep in my thoughts.” Flashing her a happy smile seemed to be a bad move as her expression darkened further. He really needed more practice. The checkpoint in the capital would do for that. He already had the plans and means to take both Sloth and the Whale. The other two he was still working on.

“So, what did you want to order me?”

“...excuse me?” His mask of confusion was excellent. His apathetic mind remained still, not reacting at the question he had not expected.

Ram scoffed at him. “Your words of today and actions of yesterday reveal that you do have an objective in mind. Or do you believe I would not have noticed you have added us to your web of intrigue.”

“...could you explain further? I am not understanding. What did I do to make you think that?”

Ram frowned, raging at him playing dumb. “You covered for us when we tried to kill you yesterday night!” Her hiss did not move Subaru.

“And what does that have to do with anything?”

Ram was going to lose her composure before she noticed his gaze. He truly did not understand what she was saying. As if he had done something as simple as opening a door and was baffled at being thanked for it. “...you are mad.” ‘Like a second Roswaal.’

Subaru clenched his chest and backed a step, hurt evident on his face. “Oh, Ram! That one struck dee…” Subaru blinked as he noticed her pale face. “Bad moment for a joke? I…My bad, I am still trying to get used to…this. Do not worry, you won’t remember this moment.”

Suddenly, he was seeing his body and the room all at once, as if his vision was rotating wildly as he was falling. ‘Oh…Quick magic casting. I am always impressed. And thankful. I can better this loop a bit more…Going back to the bed will be a cho-’

…

“Are you planning to wash that plate for a fifth time, sir?”

Finally, after a day and a half he felt ready for this conversation.

“Sorry Ram, I was busy thinking on how to talk about, well, yesterday.” Turning around, he left the half dried plate on the sink. His gaze was filled with understanding and a bit of hurt. “I know I must feel…very suspicious and I won’t blame you for that. Like, I get it. I arrive just as the royal selection starts after saving your candidate and retrieving her insignia. I then ask for employment under your master. And, most of all, I smell like a witch cultist.” Ram flinched at that. Subaru shrugged. “For me it's old news, Ram. I was born like this.” ‘I was, wasn’t I? I must have been. Wait…where was I born agai-…Irrelevant question for my purpose.’ He quickly forgot that line of thought, not caring the slightest about it.

Her eyes widened a bit, the pieces starting to fall into place. His awkwardness and eeriness as he talked, as if he was completely used to playing a script so that he was not hunted down to death. His permanent alertness, his silent steps. His everpresent readiness for conflict. Beatrice had not been wrong when she had said that he was clean. ‘And a Divine Protection that forced him to live with the memories…’ “I…” Did he mean what he saw to Roswaal then? Was he really intending to help them?

Subaru raised a hand, interrupting her. “Let me finish please. I really mean it. It can be water under the bridge. I can’t say I will ever forget or forgive but I can let it go. I know how it goes. Just…please, help me so that it does not happen again.”

“I…will try, sir. Yet…”

“I know. Roswaal. Just…say I was alright with it, he will understand. Can’t really ask you to trust me but, if he asks, throw me under the bus.”

A shaky nod. “Still, I will warn you sir, if my sister…happens to repeat the mistake…”

“Yes, yes, you will side with her. Gotcha, Ram.” Subaru nodded a few times. “Just…I won’t ask you to protect her because I know you will do so already.”

A determined nod. “Then, sir, if that was all, let me list you your new tasks for the evening.” She asked, expecting him to complain.

“Thanks.” She frowned again, the honesty in it lit a small fire of regret.

…

Body fully exhausted and muscles in almost open rebellion, Subaru knocked on the right door again and, after a few seconds, entered.

“As expected of my helper, I suppose. You have yet to miss the right door.”

“And as expected of Beako, testing me still so that I don’t lose sharpness.”

Beatrice’s lips curled up in what could have been called the start of a start of a smile. Subaru froze, getting lost in that sight. ‘So you could be this happy. I am…I am so terribly sorry, Beako.’. Advancing with a confident smile as quickly as his tired legs let him, he plopped down on the stool next to her, both of their seats pointing at the door of the Library.

Beatrice made a heavy sight with fake tiredness. “Keep doing that and the stool will break, in fact.”

Subaru snickered at that. “Then I will apologise in advance for having you move a third stool here.”

“Instead of apologising try not to break it, in fact!” She squinted at him, the smile growing a bit more. The casual back and forth, she had missed it. Even while meeting up with Puck she seemed to miss the man. She had…conflicting emotions with her ‘brother’, born out of evil and burning envy.

Subaru couldn’t resist and ruffled her head, causing another scream and a push that knocked him off the stool. His first genuine laugh since the restart was tainted by the pain of his back as it hit the ground.

“Do that again, I dare you!”

“Do not tempt me, Beako!” His laugh reduced to a snicker, he tried not to get off the floor. ‘I do not deserve this bliss at all. But Beako does, so, until I am no longer necessary in her life, I will keep trying. She won’t break. I will get her out.’ “Say…it has been a long while since I looked at the night sky so, would you accompany me for a few hours outside?”

Her smile froze for half a second. Her gaze turned back to the book in her hands. “I would rather not.”

“Come on, Beakooo! Let’s say I bribe you, what then?”

“You don’t have anything of interest to me, Subaru.”

“Oh, really? Then I guess you already know how to dispel several curses put together in the same target, right?”

“...expand upon that, I suppose…”

“So you take the bribe then? Come on, Beako, it will only be an hour, two tops! And the fresh air will do wonders for your hair.”

“My hair is already perfect, in fact!” Closing her book with a thump, she jumped off the stool. “If you are so scared to get out by yourself I will accompany you, I suppose.”

“...scared?” Only then did he notice his trembling hands. ‘Oh…I remember this feeling. I…I can’t fail her again. I can’t fail them. I can’t. I mustn’t. I won’t.’ “...sorry.” He forced a smirk. “Does that mean you do not want the bribe then?”

“This and that are separate things!”

“Oh, Beako, so greedy.” Getting off the ground, he hastened his pace to follow the already leaving spirit. “Just you wait, I will surprise you with my knowledge!”

…

Rem, still finishing her chores as she refused to let Subaru’s work go unchecked, and redone, noticed the duo as they marched down to the garden. Beatrice sat down on a stool she invoked while Subaru laid down on the grass. Caution and hate made her watch.

…

“Now the function starts!” His voice boomed with enthusiasm, his smile as wide as ever. Beatrice, on the outside, willing to watch the stars, his favourite thing, with him. He must impress her! As he pointed up, reality proved different.

Seconds passed and Beatrice, tired of waiting, mumbled, “Have you fallen asleep I suppose?”

“I…I forgot.”

Those shaken words started a fire in her chest. Panic bubbled up and she turned to Subaru.

“I…I am…I am so sorry…” His devastated tone was filled with cracks as tears flowed from his eyes. “I can’t believe I am this useless. I…I forgot…” What star had been his name? What were all of those figures and shapes glinting in the sky above? How many types of stars were there? What was a constellation? All information that had been left behind. Memories that no longer mattered for his purpose until, suddenly, they did. He had a chance and he had wasted it. Truly, he was slothful.

“Betty thinks it's alright, in fact!” Her words did not register.

“I can’t remember. I can’t remember. I can’t remember. I can’t remember.” The three words started to loop in his tongue. ‘How could I mess this up!? If I can’t remember, I must die! I have to make them happy! I must! I can’t bawl on them like this! They do not deserve my burden! I have to loop! I have to! Mana overuse?! Knife?! Do I grant Beako the honours?!’ His thoughts acted as a barrier that stopped him from hearing Beatrice or feel as she grabbed his hand in fear.

‘Think, you idiot, think! There must be something of value in this empty skull of mine! Quickly, we can still play it as a joke! Remember something, anything, whatever could help her laugh!...Nevermind that! Useless. I need to search for another solution. Abort the plan and reconsider the next steps, yes, I must…’

Subaru found himself broken out of his reverie as he felt his body be pushed repeatedly. Blinking, he looked at his sight only to see a scared Beatrice kneeling on the ground screaming his name. Blinking a few more times, he whispered, “Beako…you are getting dirty. You should not be kneeling on grass.” He tried to move and sit but Beatrice’s hands stopped him. “Let me grab my coat so that you have…”

“I care not for the stains right now, in fact!” She bellowed, finally snapping him out of another current of thought. Startled, he turned to her. “What is wrong?! Answer now!”

“I…I just forgot about the stars I wanted to show you. I…sorry for ruining your night.” Whispered Subaru. 

“Moron, idiot, shameless, insensitive bastard!” A bit relieved, Beatrice stopped pushing him and sat on the ground, her cheeks red. “Why would you scare Betty like this for such a dumb reason like that, in fact?”

“I was supposed to show you the…”

“I need not your indications. I know my constellations, in fact. What’s more, if you have forgotten the constellations I could simply teach you, I suppose.”

“I do not want to burden you but…I would love that. I…want to remember them.”

Beatrice faked a heavy sigh. Shuffling next to him, she pointed her finger up, hiding her endless questions behind her confident tone as she reminded him of the stars he had forgotten. Soon enough both of their antics broke the tranquility of the night, not that Beatrice wanted it any other way. But the darkness remained there, just behind his mask, and worry had been reborn. 

…

Starting his morning a bit later than usual, Subaru rubbed his eyes. Yesterday’s night should have been a mess up of his but Beako had seemed fine with the conclusion…’And I don’t really want to destroy that memory of her enjoying the night sky…Not even when it made her trust me a bit more…’ So be it, yesterday was cemented in his mind as a good enough day despite complications. Perfection was merely an unachievable goal he aimed but did not try to grab this time around. He had failed at that and, what’s more, he had learnt that happiness came with its imperfections. At least he thought.

Another surprise welcomed him as he left the Library. Rem, standing quietly in the hallway, saw him and walked towards him. Subaru tensed up by muscle memory, brain already pathing through possible attacks and retreat patterns. He did not need to gaze at the door to know that it was no longer his path to the Library. Still, Rem, as he noticed his tiny wariness, crossed her arms in front of her chest, showing her empty hands.

“Good morning, sir. I came here to…apologise for yesterday's actions. Miss Ram told me about your…circumstances." Rem bowed down. “My sincerest apologies, mister Subaru.”

“Just Subaru is fine, Rem. And no worries. Nothing bad happened so we can just take it as an overreaction that got out of hand, all right?”

“I refuse. What I did was inexcusable. I at least need to make some amends.” She added, not moving from her position.

Subaru scratched his head, sighing a bit. “Then how about you accompany me to the village today? I wanted to look around and we are low on seasonings, right?” Seeing her doubts, he faked a sigh. “You could invite Ram in case we need the help to carry for the packages, if you want.”

“...are you fine with only that?” She raised her head, her eyes scanning the man.

Subaru arched an eyebrow. “Only that? It’s a free vacation of one day. If anything I am ripping you off.”

“...I see.” She nodded to herself, despising his stench and struggling to control herself but knowing now that he was not at fault. Not since she saw him yesterday night. There’s no way a bawling cultist would be consoled by that Beatrice. “Then we shall do so, if you are fine with it?”

Subaru smiled and moved to pat her head before stopping a few dozen centimetres away. Ashamed, he pulled his hand back. “I was the one who asked, Rem. Thanks for agreeing.”

……

“What sort of strange game is that?” Ram asked, standing with Rem at the side of the village’s centre as the black haired boy did his best on directing the villagers with the broken memories of his warm ups. Less successful than the original loop, he still broke the ice with the villagers and created a kind atmosphere. Her worried gaze went to the kids crowding around the man.

Rem shrugging, not understanding either. “At least they seem to be having fun?” Both oni followed Subaru with their gaze as he was carried away by the kids. Looking at each other, they followed suit to prevent any danger to the children. As they arrived to them they saw a sight that widened his eyes.

Subaru had gone on full parent mode with the kids, joining the games and being an incredibly good influence, for their expectations. Ram’s glare got a reaction out of the kids.

“Ram-chi, you are scary.”

“Hey! What have I told you about being mean!” Subaru, as fast as the wind, turned his attention from one kid to another. Waving his finger around, he made the child look down.

“Sorry, Ram.”

Subaru nodded and patted them on the head. “Oh, right, Ram and Rem. Sorry for that. Break’s almost over, right?”

“Sir, I did not expect you to be…” ‘Good with children.’

Subaru smiled sadly and scratched his head. “Always wanted to have them. It didn’t feel…right.”

Rem blinked a few times. “But, si-Subaru-kun, aren’t you very young?”

“My skin care routine does wonders, right?” Subaru laughed at his own joke, receiving two tired yet relaxed glares from the maids.

“I assume that you enjoyed the trip you wanted?” Ram interjected, her alertness diminishing even further thanks to Rem’s new way of addressing the man.

Subaru nodded, waving goodbye at the kids with a hand with a small bit. “Indeed. It was very nostalgic. I did everything I needed to do, too. Speaking about needs…could I have a blade…” His tone died as the maids turned two irate glares at him. “...that was pushing it, huh.”

“Why would you need a weapon, sir?”

“Well, my mastery with planks of wood may not be enough next time.” He gave them his best charming smile to no avail.

“From Lady Emilia’s tales, I believe to arm you would be to create a second Sword Saint.” Ram’s dry tone sold the indirect insult.

“Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Ram-chi.”

“Sister, did we buy extra soap? I believe I should…”

Subaru looked at his empty wrist and gasped. “Od beloved, would you look at the time? We really need to hurry up!”

…

Subaru rolled his shoulders. His exercises had helped him carry the barrel without tiring himself much. The trip, however, had been shorter yet Roswaal had already left. ‘I will not count on his help against the mabeast, then. He really intends to test my resolve to the fullest...And was that the only variance? The clown would be capable of hardening all tests from now on.’

Subaru knocked on the door of the Library. After a few seconds, he entered.

“You are late, I suppose.”

“Hey, I asked you if you wanted to come. It would have been fun.” Subaru, smiling, plopped down on his stool. “Did you have a good day?”

Beatrice nodded. “Your talk about curses gave me a lot to think about, in fact.”

Subaru punched his open hand. “Talking about curses, could you dispel mine?”

Beatrice blinked, her hands almost letting go of the book. Turning at him with fear, she started to scan him. “You have one, in fact.” Her tone, distressed, almost cracked. Fear she had not felt in a long way hurried her magic, dispelling the curse in his hand. Fear of her renewed hope dying. “How?! What did you…?!” Her gaze finally moved to Subaru’s face, exactly the same as before. “...you do not seem afraid at all. Like you knew this would happen, in fact. Did you set this up?”

“I would never plan to do something that would make you sad, Beako.”

She backed away. “Who says I would be sad if you died, I suppose?!”

“But I need a favour.” His steel gaze eliminated his happy mask. Beatrice calmed down and also focused. “And I need you to believe me. No questions. Can you do that, Beako?”

“...and if I don’t?”

His gaze turned sad. “Then I will search for another way.”

“...Fine. I will trust you this once, Subaru. Tell me your plan, in fact.” His new smile tugged at her heart. She stopped regretting accepting this call for help from such a strange person… No, from Subaru. She dared not to even think about the possibility. About her deepest hope. Maybe she would finally leave the Library. Yet…she had still not read her book. Nor would. Not wanting to prove this illusion as such yet still craving for it to be real.

“Go to…” He frowned. He would owe a debt to them. “Go to Puck and Emilia, tell them the village needs help. There are six cursed children in need of healing. The barrier is also broken so protect them. Send whoever is available after ten minutes of me going in to pick them up.”

Beatrice’s mind was a storm of dozens of questions. Her eyes gained an edge and examined the man in front of him. “...anything more?”

“Yeah. Just one more thing.” 

Beatrice nodded, steeling herself for her next duty before being hit by a warm hug.

“Thank you for trusting me, Beako, really.”

She froze up, not knowing how to react. Before she realised she should hug back she found him already gone.

…

Speeding through the mansion, he arrived at the kitchen and packed half a dozen knives.

“Didn’t we tell you that you were not allowed blades?” Both maids were sitting on the table enjoying a relaxing tea before he had barrelled into the room. 

Subaru nodded, readying the blades in his waist and securing them. “Yeah, sorry. Gotta go back to the village.”

Ram and Rem exchanged a gaze. “Good luck then, sir.”

He stopped at that. “Thanks. I will need it.”

He rushed out of the mansion. Knowing he would need to conserve energy he jogged back. He could have walked as he had gained time thanks to the less longer trip but it did not feel right. He would have felt like he was undervaluing the lives of the children.

He would arrive at the village just as the search was in full swing. Dodging them all, he rushed to the entrance of the forest. And it made him wait not for, after a few more minutes, the forest stood in front of him. A threat as real as always. All his work these past days, all of those loops…Should the checkpoint not update he would have to redo all. He was ready. He would save those kids with or without help. He swore to himself, again, that he would bring Petra, Lucas, Mildo, Meina, Dyne and Cain back.

Diving in, he did not need to notice Ram to know that she was following him. He wasn’t as trustworthy to not be tailed. Better for him, she would help in carrying the kids back.

With little preparations left to do he rushed in, knowing the path forward by heart. He dodged trees, bushes and holes in the ground. That cursed wide clearing was finally in view. There, the still breathing kids laid on the ground, all of them bitten.

Crouching next to them, he made sure they were breathing. They would last little but…

“Su-Subaru?”

He blinked and looked down. Petra was as tough as ever. He put on a confident smile. “Awake? All right, good. You are very tough, aren’t you? Don’t overdo it, though. I swear I will bring you back home and this pain you feel will become a lone memory. Just rest for…”

“One is…still…in the…” Petra’s voice cut off as she fell unconscious.

Subaru froze, frigid sweat running down his back. ‘I have forgotten a kid! I am utterly trash! Who…who was it?!...Can’t remember…Irrelevant. Change of plans.’ Looking back, he roared. “Ram! I beg of you, please, help me!”

The forest answered not.

Subaru threw himself on his knees. Bowing, he hit his head on the ground so hard it started to bleed. “I will give you whatever you want! But I need your help! Please!”

Silence.

Subaru scowled. ‘Huh…This anger is new…’ “So be it. At least protect the villagers. Don’t follow me anymore nor allow anyone to.” Getting up, he unsheathed a kitchen knife and turned in the direction Petra had pointed to. “It will get deathly dangerous.” And he shot off in a sprint, leaving the startled and regretful maid behind.

After a few minutes of running he found the legs of the girl, her body hidden behind a tree trunk, too covered to see her fully. ‘A trap?...The kid’s suffering is a higher priority.’ Rushing to her, he tested for breathing and for her alive.

A growl behind made him turn around with precision. “Minya.” 

The enormous dog-like mabeast that had just jumped out of the bushes got shot in the eye. Still, their thick hide and strong bones stopped his cheap magic from piercing through. ‘Waste of mana. Next loop I won’t shoot.’ A new wave of growls made him turn around. The entire forest seemed awake and angry. Countless bushes moved with the activity of an evil pack. His instincts screamed and Subaru turned around.

His first knife ended in the eyes of a smaller mabeast. The next wave of growls was a cacophony that left him deaf. A sea of red eyes surrounded him. He pulled out the knife and took a stance. “Let’s get this shit started. And sorry in advance, I will be cheating.”

The swarm dived in. Subaru was quickly overwhelmed.

…

Plick. His forehead was bleeding. Was his checkpoint now when he had asked for Ram’s help? Excellent. He was very close. Standing up again, he unsheathed a knife and made a tally on his left arm. ‘Running away risks the mabeast from coming to the kids here. There’s also Reinhard to worry about. I must make my stand there. At least for a while.’

He breathed in. His body must last. His mind must not break. He must win. He rushed back to hell.

…

The first mabeast was dealt with the same. The next one was shot with Minya. A cloud of Shamak and he misremembered the position and velocity of the third. He got bitten and the grievous wound left him to get overwhelmed with the next few attacks due to slowness by blood loss.

A new tally.

…

The knife pierced through the eye of the first mabeast. Jumping over it, he threw at the next two two knives and opened another clearing of beasts for a few seconds. He jumped in as he invoked a Minya. This shard stabbed the beast lunging at his back while he stabbed the one in front at his right and dodged the other at his left. The latter backed away, awaiting for more brethren before jumping again. The half Minya he had left was not enough. Six mabeasts jumped at him simultaneously. He killed three.

Another tally.

…

His dance of death was slowly perfecting itself. Every moment, every breath, every attack was planned and executed flawlessly, chaining dozens of small movements to allow himself to ebb and flow through the faster, stronger and better armed enemies. A stab in the eyes, a Minya below the chin, a double throw. He smirked at the mental checkpoint he had made for himself. ‘Twelve percent.’

The two beasts jumped at him. The first one he killed first, the second one he blocked with his left arm, letting it bite him and using that attack to grab its upper mandible. A pull that tore flesh and he brought its head closer, stabbing its head. He rolled over and above the corpse and, with a fast kick, he used it to block the other four. His Minya stabbed the closest mabeast and dispelled, his expertise only allowing him to be reused once. Kicking a stone, it distracted a fifth long enough for him to deal with sixth and seventh while backing away.

The trail of quickly mounting bodies gave them pause. 

“I can return by d…”

Their eyes shone as their growls restarted. They uncoordinatedly rushed in. ‘Five point two percent.’ He stomped on a stick lying just in front of him. The makeshift spear was raised in the air and a mabeast impaled itself in it. Its body moved right, striking another two and slowing the dozens behind that were rushing by that side. Subaru snapped his injured left arm at the mabeasts at the left, blinding two with his blood, and jumped back as he killed the third.

The two temporarily blind ones rushed at the ground of the right, their chaos further slowing that side. Subaru turned around and ran away. “I can return by d…”

The mabeasts behind forgot about the sounds of people carrying children back. The entire pack rushed towards him. Twelve of them had circled around to try and get the children but had turned around and were now in front of his escape route. His practiced movements slowed down not as he used them against each other while he culled them, ever running, jumping, dodging and tanking.

The tree line cleared a bit and he rolled on the ground, kicking away the fastest mabeast that had caught up to him down the ravine at his left. “Minya!” His projectile struck the stone magic attack from their leader, having calmed down enough to be able to use magic. ‘A new record. A shame I don’t have any wine to celebrate.’ Finishing rolling under the rain of small stones, he grabbed the stick in front and turned around, putting one of its ends against the ground and repeating the move of before to stab the next enemy. Using his new shield of dead mabeast in a stick, he struck with it at his left, knocking another two and the corpse down the chasm.

The next one was dealt with another knife thrown. One knife left. The swarm, fully intending to not let him get off the ground, kept rushing in. Out of breath, Subaru blocked a mabeast with his right hand, grabbing its mandible, and stabbed the second with his last usable blade, using both bodies to defend his upper body from the rest of the pack. His lower part, undefended, was prey to the monsters. Feeling his flesh being torn apart and eaten, Subaru screamed. “Reinhard, do your thing!” ‘Come one, loop eighty five, don’t let me down.’

As if on call, an enormous slash of energy struck the smaller clearing in its totality. The heroic energy wave vanquished the monsters without harming a single plant nor living insect.

His metal sword melted away, feeling pride in its sacrifice for a sacred mission. “Friend, deathly danger seems to be in your pres…” Reinhard's expression changed to baffleness and then worry as he noticed Subaru’s horrendous state.

Pointing at the child, Subaru managed to whisper.  “The child…” And passed out.

…

“I don’t remember this ceiling.”

“That’s a matter of fact, I suppose. You have never been in this house before.” Confidently stated Beatrice, seated on a stool next to his bed.

He frowned. ‘Another divergence?’ He looked to the side where Emilia had been in the original loop. Ram stood as if she had been ordered to be here and wasn’t worried in the slightlest.

“Sir, it’s the fourth time you almost died this week.” Her tone was dry and matter of fact. A tiny taint of pity was hearable. “Should you keep this up your payment will be reduced accordingly.”

“...what?! I am at risk of losing my insurance?! Please, no! I can’t live without the dental plan!”

Both of them arched an eyebrow at the senseless words.

Subaru frowned and his tone lowered. “Oh…right, I am paid in full. Nevermind that.” Blinking and slowly regaining his bearings, he noticed his body was unbearably cold. Hugging himself and starting to tremble, he asked, “Are the ki…”

“Yes, sir. Your reckless behaviour saved their lives. Both Emilia, Rem and the…Sword Saint are tending to them and the village. The barrier has also been repaired and the nest has been dealt with.” Ram’s gaze examined the man in front of him. Had he altered the result to make him seem dependable or had this been the best he could do? The friendliness of the Sword Saint towards him backed up the latter assumption.

A smile grew on his face as he fully relaxed for the first time this week. “Damn, Rein. As dependable as ever.”

Ram let out a small smirk. “Unlike you, sir, who seems to love being nursed back to health. Should this happen again I shall file a complaint at Roswaal-sama for indecent plots.” 

“Hey! Not my fault I am this weak, Ram-chi.”

Ram faked a deep frown. “Is that an invitation to worsen your injuries, sir?”

Subaru turned to Beatrice, “Please, save me, Beako!” 

Her attention was back on her book, relief still evident in her tone. “I refuse to rescue you from the pits you shoveled and willingly chose to jump in, in fact.”

At that Subaru let out a laugh. ‘...Mission accomplished. They are all safe. Now…’ He started to force his body to sit, making both Ram and Beatrice jump and rush to hold him down.

“What are you doing, I suppose?! / Sir, you must not move your body.”

“Injuries and blood loss can wait, I need to thank Reinhard.” His body, of course, was in no capacity to fight against the two of them so he was pushed back onto the bed.

“Subaru, forcing yourself to thank me in your situation would leave me feeling quite guilty.” Reinhard, as if appearing whenever he was needed, was standing in the doorway.

“Oh, Rein! Od be damned, your timing is always exquisite!”

His soft steps and calm body language accompanied him as he walked towards Subaru. “I can only try my best, friend.” That word had a bit of doubt. Subaru, noticing, gave a look to the other two.

Ram, after a few seconds of delay, nodded.

“Don’t do anything rash, I suppose.”

Both left the room and closed the door as they went away.

Subaru looked up to the Sword Saint who, despite his suspicions, chose to sit down at his right. His voice still soft, he collected his thoughts for a few seconds, Subaru never interrupting him. “Despite my sorrows at ambushing you in your current state, I believe I am owed a talk if we are truly friends.”

“Shoot, Rein.” His friendly smile and null evil intentions calmed down the Sword Saint further.

His hands grabbed each other while his gaze went to his feet. “It’s about the warnings you left me. Every single one up to today was spot on. Time of assasination, parties implicated, date, and the time down to the second. Lady Felt has survived this week thanks to you.”

Subaru waved away the compliment. “If anything, you would have saved her on your own. I only selfishly put you in my debt so you would feel obligated to come here. Ergo, no need to feel indebted. Just…I can’t help anymore after that timeline I gave you so try to…clean up most of them.”

‘He truly feels what he is saying to be right…’ “Still, I feel nothing but gratitude to you.” He frowned. “Yet my weakness nags at me with a most selfish question…”

“How I knew about all that, right?” Subaru’s tone was cold, apathetic. “I can’t really reveal that. Sorry, Reinhard. You could say I have been cursed to never reveal it. But, rest assured, I do not intend to harm either you nor Felt nor anyone not related to the witch cult for that manner.”

At that Reinhard finally smiled and raised his head. “I expected as such. I will say, friend, that I am deeply grateful to you.” He looked to the side. “It appears I am being summoned and, while it pains me to part so soon I must heed the call.”

“Before you go, how about you drop the idea of an alliance between our camps to lady Felt?” Subaru’s gaze had a tint of mischievousness.

A surprised Reinhard turned to him again.

Subaru put a finger in his own lips and shushed. “Sh, don’t tell her before the candidates are revealed, yes?”

“I can’t promise anything, Subaru, but I will do so.” As he got up, Subaru grabbed his hand.

“Last, really last thing! Go by my room and pick another pack of notes!”

He paled a bit at that.

“No, no, no, it’s not that!! My bad!!” Realising how that had sounded, Subaru bowed his head. “It’s for your upcoming work, it should help out a lot.”

“And I believe I will also find another letter in it to open when my heart demands?” A raised eyebrow, his face had recovered and had a small teasing smirk.

Subaru snickered at that. “You know me well, Rein. But do not overdo it. I am already not counting on you being free so plans have already been made. Also, sorry for lying but, a very very last thing. Could you send me a carriage filled with as many firestones as you can manage? Is to kill an Archbishop. The notes should elaborate on that.”

Reinhard answered not, too lost in the confirmation that his Divine Protections were telling him. He truly was confident in his plan. “...making you promise to use them for good would be disrespectful, friend, so I will ask you to mind your limits. I doubt either of us wants to see you on this bed again. I shall do as you ask yet I will bill you the cost. Now, if you would forgive my haste…” As he walked to the door he stopped, waiting for another thing. Not hearing one, he got ready to run before Subaru gasped and he had to stop himself, almost tripping forwards.

“Ah! Another thing!”

As Reinhard turned around, he saw a smiling Subaru. He shook his head, his own smile growing. “Yes?”

“Thanks, Rein. You rock.”

He bowed, visibly happy. He had not understood the word but he knew it was something good. “You too, friend.” And he ran without giving him a chance to add another thing.

…

Chapter Text

Subaru sighed loudly, still bedridden. The past week had been filled with gratitude, thanks, and gifts. He wanted nor deserved any of that. ‘At least I have managed to close the gap between Emilia-tan and the villagers. Her focus on healing the kids was, while unplanned, a good consequence of the anomalies.’ He sneezed. ‘Still, I had forgotten about this damned cold…What had happened this time…I am struggling to remember.’ His fingers whipped the frozen snot in his nose.

“If you stay here anymore you will deteriorate, in fact. At least join the others in the dining hall where the chimney has been lit, I suppose.” Uncaring for the cold, Beatrice’s stare had been on the same page for a few minutes, refusing to gaze at the man out of worry but unable to focus on other things.

“This abnormal weather is Puck, right?” His clothes cracked as tiny layers of ice around the broke with his movements. “They are releasing mana and it’s cooling down the insides of the mansion.”

Beatrice said nothing, torn between trying to cover for Puck but knowing Subaru had already figured it out. “...exactly that, in fact.”

“Well…this is starting to threaten a dead end so…” Slipping on some of the fallen ice on the floor, Subaru didn’t scream as his world moved and he slammed against the ground. “...I will go talk with the camp. I think I remember…”

…

Subaru waved the kids away after spending the last half an hour helping them build their snow sculptures. Looking around, he noticed a quartet of both maids, Emilia and Puck enjoying the evening making snow statues. He smiled despite the increasing Roswaals in sight. Third wheeling their friendship had done wonders for Emilia-tan. She did need friends. His expression soon changed to a frown as he noticed someone missing. Sighing, he entered the mansion and entered the seventh door he found.

“How’s the festival going, I suppose?”

“It’s terrible, everything’s on fire! We need your help!” Loudly screamed Subaru as he barreled into the Library.

Beatrice jumped off her stool. “What are you…You should have come…Wait…I suppose. On fire?” Her questioning look turned glare and she huffed, returning to the stool. “Not funny, in fact.”

His smile dimmed as he walked closer to her. “They are waiting for you, Beako. Puck wanted to hang out with you. Ram, Rem and lady Emilia too.”

Beatrice focused more on her book. ‘And what about you? Do you want that?’ “...weren’t you one of the judges? Should you really be here, I suppose?”

He shrugged. “Gave up on that right away, I suck at building them now.”

She scoffed, “Was there any point at which you were good at making sculptures, in fact?”

“You know…” Subaru turned to the door as he stood in front of Beatrice. “I don’t know.”

The conversation died. Beatrice, using his silence as an excuse, returned to her book.

“...” Subaru sighed. Here goes nothing. “You know, Beako. You are right in believing that everything dies. Even memories can be forgotten.” The silence turned denser. “...but you know what, Beako? Right now I am here. Puck is outside. A festival is going on. And, if you went out, maybe tomorrow you could look back and remember how happy or upset you were today.” He turned to her. “If you do not try, nothing will change.”

“And what do you want me to do, I suppose?” Her angry tone was a mask. Subaru’s silence made her look up and meet his gaze. His hand was extended at her.

“I want you to take my hand, just this once, and let me take you out for a spin. Od below, you may even enjoy it. And if you do not, I give you the right to scream at me, deal?”

She blinked several times, trying to keep the tears at bay. Could she dare to hope? “...what would the point be, I…”

“You wouldn’t be alone for a long while. The memories would last longer than the moment itself and, if I have anything to say about them, they would be eternal.”

“You…you would do that for Betty?” Her book lowered. Her gaze moved to the hand.

“I will try. I swear it on Natsuki Subaru.” 

As soon as Beatrice grabbed his hand the day flew by in a flash. The tournament of sculptures was filled with laughs, silly figures, a lot of Roswaals and Pucks made of snow, Subaru’s now somewhat funny antics, Ram and Rem’s sculpture winning out of sheer favouritism from both judges. But evening turned to night and they retreated back to the mansion. The moment passed. The memory remained. So entertained they had been that they did not notice Subaru not coming with them.

…

Subaru sat on a flower bed, petals fluttering around. Reclining backwards, he muttered a goodbye for the memory that had been burned by his hand again. The festival had felt…strange. ‘The killer whale will wait for no one. How will the ceremony turn out? Will I even be invited to go? Yet…is it truly necessary for me to go? If I simply ask Roswaal for a week off he will agree. That should be enough time to challenge Crusch and Anastasia…’ His mind struggled to focus on the important things, deciding instead to toy with him and make him turn backwards for a few seconds. He sighed, forcing his stare forwards again. ‘...This is how it should be. I belong there not any longer. My presence is not a requirement for their happiness, only for their protection. This is how it must be. They only need a small friendly push and after Sanctuary I will disappear from their personal lives, for there will be no need for a sinner like me to stand next to them. I will turn into a well deserved, forgotten ghost of a knight that’s only there as a tool. Not that I can ever atone for what I did…Nor deserve to.’ 

Nonetheless, his thoughts dispersed as he looked at the night sky, his hands toying with flowers below. After a few seconds he let his back hit the ground, not minding the stains. If they turned too horrible he would just reset. For now, he needed the rest. Keeping up his antics of the past at full force in front of so many eyes had been…exhausting. His attention was limited after all and there were always gazes that he missed. Small movements. Old and new ticks. It was a dance that, despite the practice, required constant upkeep. To keep it up all night would make the mask crack. They would worry and that was unwarranted. They did not need to worry about him of all people.

“Isn’t it unfair of you to throw me to the party and then ditch me, I suppose?”

Subaru tensed up. Slowly looking to his left, he saw Beatrice. “Be…beako? Weren’t you having fun?”

“I will admit that I had started to have a modicum of enjoyment. Then I realized you were gone, in fact.” She sat next to him, her face three different degrees of angry.

“But…why? I wasn’t needed there.”

Beatrice gave him a sideeye, somewhat doubting he meant that. “It’s not about usefulness, it's about wants, I suppose. I…Nevermind that. What are you doing, in fact?”

Subaru followed her gaze and noticed the white flower crown in his hands. ‘...This makes sense… I remember this.’ “I was making you a gift, Beako. Your favourite colour was white, right?” Sitting up, Subaru turned to her with a shaky smile and handed her the crown.

“Huh? Where did you learn that from? I dislike white, in fact!”

“Oh…Sorry for the bad choice of flowers then.” ‘Of course she would lie to me. I deserve nothing less…Why did I even believe otherwise?’ He frowned a tiny bit, meditating that last question.

“I do not mind it.” She forced herself to admit it outloud, hating seeing him dejected. “I like it, in fact.” The flower crown was very well made. It would whittle and die, yes, but Subaru was right. Right now, she has been given a gift. She could be bothered just this once to both enjoy and remember. For now, at least.

Subaru huffed. “As kind as always…So, what is it then? Your favourite colour?”

Beatrice frowned, not really having thought about it. She opened her mouth to answer then noticed Subaru’s eager and interested gaze. He had meant to ask her. He really appeared to care. His black eyes, despite the usually scary colour, reflected at her gentleness and affection. Looking at Beatrice, not at the Great Spirit, not at the custodian of the Forbidden Library, but as something else. Something more worthy than those so empty titles. “Black, I suppose.” She heard herself mutter.

“Huh, gotcha.” Subaru backed away a bit, letting her breath properly. “I will say I am surprised by the choice. I thought you would like yellow, red, blue... But now I know and I won’t forget. I promise.”

She turned her head to her left. Leave it to him to place such importance in so small of a trivia. She refused to accept her checks being red. “Enough sitting around here, in fact! Let’s go back to the mansion already!” Getting up, this time she was the one who lent her hand. Subaru, startled by the sight, smiled a bit and grabbed it. 

“Alright.”

……

First thing in the morning Subaru grabbed a shovel. Putting it on his shoulder, he kicked a small note under Roswaal’s study door and started marching towards the capital. He needed no map nor guidance for he would never forget where Rem lost her memories. Arriving there, a carriage with no earth dragon nor driver stood filled with three bags of firestones. Walking to them, he inspected them and pocketed one. They would suffice. He would simply need to be precise. 

The dirt was soft and a bit humid thanks to the festival, leaving it easy to be dug up. He took good care of the patches of grass and bushes, needing it to be as pristine as when he had arrived. The bed dug, he extended the explosives as if he was carpeting the dirt yet let out a group of them mixed with flint and rocks so that, if someone happened to exert the minimum pressure on top of that specific point, the stones would grate against each other and activate, exploding the entire bed. For an extra layer of effectiveness he added some metal fragments, nails and more cruelty.

Finally done after five hours, he returned after burning down the carriage. The ashes would vanish in a few days and he had weeks. One out of three gluttonies dealt with. He would only need to pay constant attention to it. Unlucky as he was, this road had little to no traffic. It would be fine. The trap itself too. After all, their strength relied on their abilities. If they blew up before being able to use them they were but mortals, and Subaru knew quite a bit about mortality.  

“Come back from that, Gluttony. I dare you.” He scowled at a laughing ghost of the past, mocking him over Rem.

…

Back in the mansion, he met face first with an arms crossed Ram standing in front of the entrance. “Hiding some bodies, sir?” Her chin pointed at his clothes tainted in dirt.

Subaru shrugged, playing into it. “You know the drill. Dirt’s softest after it rains.”

Ram rolled her eyes. “Only you, sir, would take such a time consuming way of hiding a body when surrounded by a forest filled with mabeasts.”

His eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. “I knew I had forgotten something!” He grimaced, the hangover still there.

Ram’s smirk was too tiny to see. “If you are finally done messing around, I believe master Roswaal has a gift for you. Your oh so begged for blade has arrived, sir.” Her questioning gaze looked at the road he had taken. She lightly shook her head. Maybe she needed not to know.

“And of course it arrives after I am done with the body.” Huffing in faked tiredness, he nodded at the maid. “Thanks Ram. How's your hangover?”

She grimaced. “Nonexistent, of course.”

A slow nod. “I am sure of that. Have a good morning, Ram-chi.”

“Call me that again, sir, I dare you.”

“My apologies, Ram-chi.”

“I believe we will have a sparring session later, sir.”

“Right, Ros-chi, had forgotten. Gotta go Ram! And I heard nothing of what you just said!” Seeing him run away Ram shook her head. At least the mansion was more lively. Her gaze followed the retreating man. Maybe, despite being weird, she could trust him. He would still not get close to her sister, of course.

…

“Hey Rem-chi!” Both Rem and Subaru went for a handshake before dodging each other. They tried again with the other hand only for that to repeat then moving to a successful fist bump to then dangle the fingers as they backed the hand.

“Subaru-kun.”

As if nothing had happened they kept moving in their own directions but, before leaving earshot, Subaru turned and pointed at Rem’s back. “I trust that you will spar with me! And go easy on me at that!”

“I wholeheartedly agree with that first request.”

“And the second?”

Rem continued walking.

“And the second?!”

Rem crossed a corner and got out of his sight. His smile grew the tiniest of honesty. He had gotten better at this rapport building. A shame she still grimaced whenever he got too close. His scent was always there, after all. Always growing stronger until a new checkpoint cleared it. The smile lasted little as he soon remembered where he was going.

Not bothering to know on his study’s door, Subaru strolled towards a seated Roswaal. “Clown.”

“Time traveller.” His gaze was filled with expectation, making Subaru scoff. “I see you had long planned for my plots. To use the Sword Saint at that too… Yet you did not follow the book to the letter. Do not worry, I convinced Emilia that I examined you properly for unseen damage. You only have to do your part.” His eyes, expectant, stared at him.

“Oh, right, my damaged gate.” Sighing, Subaru sat in front of Roswaal and moved a hand to his side. “Minya.” A wave of blinding pain struck him as his gate was overworked. Not enough. He threw the shards at the mage with no hesitation. “Minya.” Now he felt it. This wave of pain was different. Grievous. As if his body was tearing apart. Another wave and Roswaal blocked the shards with his barrier of before.

“You overdid it a bit.”

“Do you want me to loop, then?”

Roswaal tilted his head. “Not necessarily. I would rather remember this moment.” His eyes twinkled. No hesitation to be seen at crippling himself for the mission. An excellent pawn. 

Subaru shrugged. “Suit yourself. Anything more you needed?”

“...your sword, Subaru? You forgot about it?”

He scoffed again. “As if you would have called me for just that. Out with it, Ros-chi.”

The mage reclined on his comfortable chair, liking the man more and more. “There will be a talk about the royal selection in this mansion in the foreseeable future. You are not welcomed. After that, you will be sent together with Emilia, Ram and myself to the proper ceremony. Neither you nor Ram are invited. You will still attend.” At his bored glare Roswaal sighed. “I can’t know what you think like you know with me, Subaru. For the me of this timeline these conversations are necessary. The less we leave to chance the better.”

“Didn’t we precisely say the contrary? That I was being tested to follow your book until Sanctuary?”

Roswaal rolled his eyes. “Seeing as I have as good as won I find that making you work the extra mile would be a waste of energy for both of us but suit yourself.”

“Careful, Ros-chi,” Subaru’s tone gained an edge. “The higher you are, the harder the fall.”

“Then I am grateful for being able to fly.” His confident smirk wavered not. He pointed with his chin at one of the tables. “The blade you craved so much is there. Careful with it, it may doom you to carry it around too much.”

“I know, I know.” Walking to it, Subaru unsheathed it with veteran movements. He nodded at it. While worse than his old weaponry, it wasn’t half bad. “Good steel. Didn’t think you would take it this seriously.”

“Who do you take me for, my beloved Subaru? I want my knight and partner to have the best equipment.”

He scowled at the word ‘partner’. “Never call me that again.” He breathed in, calming himself down. “But yeah, right, sure.” Tying the scabbard into his side, he twirled the weapon around, testing the balance and weight. He had half a month to get used to it. Better make it count.

…

“You seriously meant that you intended to use that weapon, sir?”

Subaru, sweating buckets, did not stop his practice swings. “And what do you mean with that, Ram-chi?”

“That you are unsuited to be a fighter.” She frowned. “It may seem insulting to you, sir, but I am baffled at how you were able to go into a nest of wolgarms and come out victorious. You are…but a normal person in all terms of the word. Your strength is beyond pitiable and your resistance and speed are on the minimum to be considered acceptable. The only thing you have for you are your uncanny reflexes.” ‘And I doubt they are reflexes. More like already knowing what will happen.’ 

“Hurtful much, Ram-chi?” He gulped down the air as he reeled from the heavy exercise. Too exhausted, he sheathed the sword and used it as a cane before turning to her. “But you are right, yeah. That’s why I need to be in top condition. That difference between pitiable and acceptable is enormous in a real fight.”

She looked him over. “I can respect the determination, sir, but you won’t be fixing it soon and I need you to return to your butler duties.” A shadow of a smirk appeared. “Having you keel over during work would inconvenience Rem so go take a small breather. Also, sir, with my utmost respect, you stink like a…”

Subaru covered his ears with both hands and turned away. “I don’t want to hear it!”

Her voice increased in volume. “...like a homeless sailor that spent this month’s earnings into booze and lived in the streets for the next one.”

“Did you really need to make me an alcoholic in that example!?” 

“Were you not? My apologies, sir.”

“And now you believe your own fantasy!” Subaru did not notice that his fake smile had a tiny bit of honesty in it. “You know what, I don’t need to take this from you. I am going!”

“...to the bath I hope, sir.”

Subaru faked an angry scream as he turned around and left the garden.

Now inside, he heard the laughs of Emilia at the theatrics of Rem and Puck. Smiling, he decided to not meddle and go on about his day. That meant he had to get a member out of a certain Library kicking and screaming after his overdue bath.

Opening the door wide, Subaru beamed at Beatrice. “Good morning, Beako!”

“Do you always have to be so loud, in fact?” She forced a sigh. Subaru had been improving each day and she could only hide the happiness at that fact. Sometimes he did not even have to fake the smile, the happiness. Not looking up from her book, she continued, “And it’s evening in fact.” As he sat next to her she finally turned to him. 

Her book fell from her hands as she detected the damage in his gate. “Wh-what…how…why, I suppose!? When did this h…”

‘...I had completely forgotten.’ Subaru raised his hands in surrender. “It was a deal with Ros-chi, Beatrice. Nothing to worry yourself ov…”

“This level of damage could take years to heal back! Do not try and downplay your problems, in fact!” Her hands patted his chest, sending her consciousness to survey his gate. “And do not dare to tell me not to be worried!”

“...alright, my bad. Sorry, Beako. But it really was necessary. Do not blame Ros-chi either.”

“I will blame whoever I deign responsible for this, in fact!” Her fearful eyes examined the damage for a third time. “A single point of mana expenditure above what you did would have…” The calmness with which Subaru’s hand patted her head cut off her sentence. This time the gesture only infuriated her further, making her bat it away. “What happened, I suppose?”

“Nothin…”

“I am not asking, in fact. I am demanding.” Her glare left him no room to dodge. What had he pacted with Roswaal to warrant this extent of devotion!? Or was he so keen on dying?! Would he also leave her behind?! Did he want to so badly as to want to kill himself?!

Subaru sighed as he scratched his head. ‘How to defuse this situation…I will try and be honest.’. “I…I can’t tell you. You will have to tru…”

“Then get out.”

“Bea…”

“Get out, in fact!”

A burst of wind knocked Subaru out of the library. So distressed had Beatrice been by the conflicting emotions that she had overcompensated in her magic. Subaru felt the crack of a few bones as he hit the wall behind. The door closed in front of him. He forced himself to crawl and extend his hand to the door, his vision blurry yet fear of the past repeating carrying him over to that senseless motion. ‘...Dislocated left arm. Left leg in bad position…A broken rib? Possible. Internal bleeding too. Nothing life threatening, only crippling in the short term. But I can’t afford to distress Beatrice like this. Loop’s done.’

He let himself fall on the ground. How long until he bleeds out? Quite a few hours, maybe days. Would he even? Too late. Too many unknowns. This loop was done indeed. Forcing himself to turn around, his right hand grasped his bastard sword before he heard a basket of laundry hit the floor.

“Sir?”

“Hey…Ram-chi. How are you doing?” His happy smile caused Ram to back a step. ‘Cursed be my muscle memory. This was not the moment for the happy smile!’

“I will call for Rem.” Saying that she rushed out for help.

Subaru sighed. Now he really needed to reset. Unsheathing his new and unused sword, the first flesh it ever cut was his own.

…

“I will call for Rem.” Saying that Ram rushed out for help.

Subaru frowned. The checkpoints changed this fast? He frowned. With the forest had happened something similar but…why now and why at this particular juncture? He looked down at his chest. ‘They have been extremely unusual. Did Satella change the rules? Should I be worried?’

“Subaru-kun!”

Startled, he blurted out the first excuse he could think of upon seeing Rem. “He-hey, sorry, I fell down the stairs!” 

The faces of the two maids changed. He looked around. Right. No stairs nearby. ‘They are too close for a physical reset. By magic it will be.’ “El-Minya.”

At his casting Rem, startled, did not know how to react. Ram, after half a second of surprise, jumped in to protect her. Subaru’s body gave out as the shards collapsed.

…

“Subaru-kun!”

‘Again?! Now this is definitely not right!’ “He-hey! Sorry for the spectacle. I may…have pissed off… ‘That will not do, I cannot throw Beako under the bus.’ “El-Minya.”

…

“Subaru-kun!”

Subaru growled out of pure pain while he rolled weakly on the floor. This farce would only give him time but he desperately needed it. ‘How to shift the conversation away from Beako? Throwing Roswaal under the bus would not work, not against the maids. Plus, it would generate tension between Emilia and…’ 

As both maids got on him and one started to heal, the door opened. Behind, a tearful Beatrice stood in the doorframe. Her and Subaru locked eyes. Her defeated and self hating look was more than what he could handle. It was his fault she was making that face. It was his fault that he was not happy. ‘It is my fault that she feels responsible.’

He did not hear her words as he screamed. “El-Minya!”

…

“Betty…Betty is sorry.” Tears started to stream down her eyes as she fell to her knees. She had done it. She could not fully trust him and, after proving such, had lashed out like a little kid.

“You can’t do this to me!” Roared Subaru at the ceiling. At whoever had chosen this torturous checkpoint. Ignoring the startled expressions, he casted again. “El-Minya!”

…

“Betty…Be-”

“I refuse! El-Minya!”

…

“Betty…”

…

Subaru had lost count. Utterly exhausted after many hours, maybe days, of continuous panicked thinking, he had arrived at only two remotely possible conclusions. ‘Either the checkpoint updates whenever I am not in danger of dying without needing to have some leeway to deal with the non life-threatening situations or it is being forcibly updated to suit a determined end. Would I enter a death loop should I had gone back to an earlier one or I am getting fucked over? I have nothing to go by. Needs further testing…The seconds are ticking…Need to reset.’

Before he could yell out the spell a startled Rem grabbed his neck and started to choke him. It was only for a few seconds but enough to stop him. Disgusted by her own instinctive actions, Rem fell backwards. Ram’s eyes widened in sudden understanding at the actions of her sister. Subaru, too entrenched in his thoughts, missed Rem’s attack. 

Beatrice did not. Her mouth slamming shut before she could make the apology, she raised herself back on her feet. “El-Minya.” Her murderous glare, and shards, were directed at Rem. She had found an easy and blameable target for her own turmoil and Subaru’s state, no matter how illogical or selfish that decision was. A scapegoat had been found nonetheless.

“All of you, calm down!” His scream got three pairs of eyes on him. A horrible migraine settled in after sleepless days for him, he groaned and lost strength in his arms, hitting the back of his head on the ground. Uncaring for the pain, he added. “I was testing spells with Beako and it went sideways, girls! And, Beako, Rem was testing my pulse and breathing! Dispel that now. All of you, a bit of breathing room, please!”

His calm but authoritative tone, tempered by thousands of screaming matches during the councils, did wonders to stop the panic. Beatrice lowered both hand and shards. Ram rushed in front of her sister and put herself as a shield between the spirit and the maid. Rem looked at her hands yet grimaced as she breathed, needing to grab a handkerchief to breathe through.

Yet Ram, not one to mince words, was the first to talk. “With due respect, sir, those are heavy wounds. What spells were you practicing, how to kill a black haired butler?”

Subaru turned to Beako. His gaze, fully trusting and with no resentment, wanted her to play along. She moved her face away from it yet fell silent. 

“It is as I said. I may have been…a bit fearful over almost fully losing my gate and I may have overdo the enthusiasm front. My bad for making light of it, Beako.” He turned back to the maids. “But I trust Beako with my life. What happened here was a misfortune, nothing more, nothing less.” His gaze narrowed on Rem. “And I trust you too, Rem, despite whatever you are feeling guilty over, alright? Let’s simply…move on and forget, yeah?”

Three shaky nods were his answer. Something told him that no one would move on and forget but he could do little else. He also wasn’t in the best mental state and was fearing that his fury at his situation would seep into his tone. Sighing, he slowly got to his feet to the amazement of the three people in front. Resting his weight on his good leg, he rested his left side on the back. A swift movement and he relocated his shoulder in its place. Breathing heavily, he turned to Beako. “Could I ask you to heal me despite it being my fault?”

Beatrice nodded several times, her gaze a window to a storm of contradictory emotions.

Subaru now addressed the two maids. “Sorry for worrying you all but you really need to slow down a bit.”

Rem, paling and struggling to not puke, shakily nodded. Ram glared at him and refused to answer in a way he wanted. “I will get an explanation, sir. If not from you…” Ram turned around and left while escorting her sister.

…

Back inside the Library, both Beatrice and Subaru were seated. Utterly exhausted, Subaru struggled to keep up his usual mask of happiness, his face dropping to an emotionless stare, thing that increased Beatrice’s guilt.

“I…Betty’s sorry. I…I just…” Her gaze looked at a growingly worried Subaru and the dam broke. “I wanted to trust you yet you do not seem to reciprocate when it’s about you, in fact…” Her gaze lowered again. “And when you were treating your injuries as if they were planned and unworthy of attention. As if your body was but a broken tool to be repaired…As if you were ready to die and leave Betty behind, I...I got angry.” ‘And scared. Like an immovable wall was placed in between.’ She could but try to forcibly break through…or push away the sight that was harming her. To have backed in the ultimatum would have secured Subaru in his walls but she pushed too hard. Put too much mana in it. She just had forgotten that Subaru was less powerful than the average man despite how he looked.

“I get it. There really was no need for worry but I get it. And I do trust you.” His voice, warm, was followed by a light squish on her hand.

Beatrice frowned. “Then prove it. Answer Betty’s question.”

“You know that if I could I would.” His smile turned sad but firm. She was not getting that answer.

“Then answer another. Why have you forgiven me? Why are you so mindnumbingly nice? Why are you still here? Why are you trying to…” Her voice cracked. ‘...give me hope?’

Another squish. Subaru moved forward a bit, uncaring of the pain in his insides. “Because I want to, Beako. Because you deserve to. I want you to be happy because no one deserves to not be. And I think you have been alone for so long that you have forgotten how to be, so if I can do the slightest bit to help with it, I will love to.” He let out a small scoff at that. “Not that you need my help, nor anyone’s in fact. You are very capable of saving yourself, after all. But I do think you need a push. Just let me help.” He forced a smile. “And those were four questions, Beako. Do I get to ask three of mine?”

Beatrice sniffed and shook her head. 

“Are you still angry? I get it.” Subaru tested his left arm. ‘Usable. I will be of lower efficacy for the foreseeable future but nothing not dealable with.’ Next was the leg. This one was fully back on track. His insides? Alright. That rib would need more rest though. “Apologies, Beako, but duty calls. I need to, well, clean up the hallway.”

As he started to leave, Beako jumped off her stool. Hesitating, fear won. She gave the rest of her questions up out of worry. She played his game, she followed his script. She feared the outcome of defying it again. The illusion must go on. “I will help, in fact. It was partially, very partially my fault after all.” She did not reject the head pat this time.

“Thanks, Beako.”

As they left the Library the extent of the damage was evident. Pieces of glass, carpets of dust and a few rocks littered the ground. The wall itself had an evident depression. They would have to redo that part of the wall from the inside out.

“On second thoughts…” Beatrice started to turn. “I may have forgotten I was busy.”

Tugging the collar of his white shirt, Subaru nodded. His mind, on work mode, was already planning the steps for the reparations. “Then I will get to it.”

Just as she reached the door Beatrice sighed. “You were supposed to ask a bit more at this moment, in fact.” She turned around. “What do I need to do, I suppose?”

…

Chapter Text

Wilhelm was peacefully waiting next to the carriage their delegation had come in. His gaze turned sharply to what seemed to be a cheerful boy walking towards him with a tray on his hands.

“Aren’t you bored waiting out there?” His easy going words were a bit too forward as he had suddenly closed the distance between the two of them. “What’s more, leaving you here unattended just does not sit well with me so, if you would accompany me for a cup of tea?”

Honest words that he wore on his sleeve, Wilhelm nodded and grabbed a tea cup. “I thank for your kindness.” Their eyes met and Wilhelm straightened himself a bit more. Taking a sip of it, he added. “It tastes lovely. It’s as if I’m indulging in a great luxury.”

The man in front scratched his head, his movements subconsciously cautious of tearing hairs that could end up in the tray. “It…may be the most expensive tea in the mansion. Please, do not tell Ram I just sacked it without permission. She will flip out.” His eyes suddenly wavered, as if unsure of his words. As if he had forgotten something.

Wilhelm narrowed his eyes at him. “And what is it that you hope to gain from this old man by using such precious bait?”

The man blinked a few times. “I…I intended no plots. Really. I just…I meant what I said.”

Wilhelm relaxed a bit. “I see. Unearned earnestness may feel suspicious so pardon my disrespectful accusation.” A small silence fell onto the two of them as both turned to the mansion, cups in hand. Wilhelm found himself speaking. “Say, young man, do you crave solitude? It seemed to me like you were keeping up barriers with the members of the mansion. It reminded me of myself, once upon a time.”

His face, instead of becoming surprised or wary at his words, lost a bit of emotion. “Companionship feels like too steep of a path for myself, if I may be so forward.”

“I see.” He took another sip. “Yet hurdles are things to be beaten, young man. To give up on walking that path is a slow, lonely death.”

His face lost a bit more emotions, his happy smile of before now half a smirk. “Speaking from experience, old man?”

“Indeed. I, too, felt like that.” He let a few seconds pass.

“I’m glad you found someone you could share your burdens with.” Subaru did not miss the tiniest flinch. His tone softened. “Apologies if they are no longer here.”

Wilhelm breathing out slowly. “She…was a blessing indeed. Yes…We both tried to take each other’s burdens.”

The next wave of silence was interrupted by a loud and obnoxious voice from the other side of the carriage. “I’m back, old man Wil! Sorry to make you wait outside. I bet you were bored, huh?”

“Not at all. This young man entertained me with his company.” Wilhelm gestured to the black haired man, whose stance had tensed up for half a second before being forcibly melted away. Good reaction for a warrior, strange for a butler. 

Felix’s ears flickered as he stared at Subaru. “Meow? Ah, nyow I see. You must be the boy Emilia-sama mentioned.”

The boy nodded, his guard seemingly down. Wilhelm knew better. “Let us be on our way, Felix-dono.” He directed a small bow at the young man as he returned the now empty tea cup. “I am grateful for your gift.”

“No biggie, old man.” His smile and eyes were on Wilhelm yet his attention was still on Felix. Did he have prejudice against demihumans? No, he would not be working here if he did. Had they met before or had he heard anything about the Blue? “Be careful on the way back.” Having said his piece, the young man left them, his steps still not making any sound.

As they settled on the carriage and went on their back to the capital, Felix was the first to talk. “I was surprised to see you talking with the boy. I thought you would rather chop people in half rather than talk to them.” His tone, curious. His tail waved around.

“That is a grievous misunderstanding.” Wilhelm mused from the front, his tone contemplative. “I was merely worried by the look in that young man’s eyes.”

“Huh?”

Wilhelm’s cold and unfeeling eyes had a tinge of caution. “Those are the eyes of one who views himself and death as a tool for their goals.” He paused for a few seconds. “I will keep an eye on him during the treatments.” ‘He reminds me too much of myself.’

“You really have lost me there…but, if it’s you we are talking about…I will also keep an eye out for trouble.”

…

The trip to the capital was calm if not boring. Subaru, used to the carriages, had his eyes closed, arms crossed and back against its wall. ‘I should see that during the selection I do not make a fool of Lady Emilia’s faction. For the White Whale, begrudging cooperation between Crusch and me would be enough. Anastasia would know something is up and I can’t out negotiate her. Plus, I don't want that achievement this time. It raises…too much attention towards lady Emilia. Next…Archbishops of Greed and Gluttony. The latter should be as good as dead already. The other…Reinhard should arrive and hold him up till I am done on my side.’ His mind went to Ram’s presence, a new curveball that Roswaal had thrown his way. Not making him work needlessly hard, bullshit. ‘For Sloth…either Wilhelm, the finest of knights or a small force would be needed to kill the fingers before he realises. Sloth itself is mine. Then…’

Without noticing, he fell asleep, exhaustion having accumulated these past days.

…

“Sir Kadomon.” Subaru placed a few coins on the stall.

“Boy.” A half smile, the seller passed him a bag of appas. A nod for one to another and Subaru went on their way.

“Already done? I would not mind if you talked a bit more with your friend.” Her gaze lingered on the scary man, seeing him affable enough.

“Sir, do not listen to lady Emilia. We are on a schedule and you desiring to meet your old accomplices is making us lag. This is the third old man you met. Hurry it up, if you will.”

“Ram, that’s not very nice.”

“Yeah, miss Ram, you should listen to lady Emilia.” Subaru, having copied her voice and dry tone, made a humph sound and looked away.

Both turned to Subaru this time. “Subaru, that also wasn’t very nice! Don’t fuel Ram’s anger!”

“Indeed, sir. That has fallen just short of leaving this innocent and perfect maiden in tears.”

“Not you two teaming up on me!” Their walking pace arrived them at a huge building with stunning designs all around. “And don’t simply take her side, lady Emilia! She started it!”

“Well, if it isn’t Emilia-sama.”

That voice froze Subaru. Ram noticed.

“It’s good to see you again. Have you been well since the last time we last met?” Julius bowed deeply to the elven princess, the smile in his face elegant.

Emilia quickly faced the newcomer. “Yes, everything is basically the same, Julius. You also seem well.”

“The mere fact that you remember me it’s an honour.” Kneeling, he looked up to Emilia with his shining yellow eyes. “You have only grown more beautiful during your absence, Emilia-sama.” With practiced movements and the class of a true knight, Julius kissed Emilia’s hand.

“Thank you for your kind words. Forgive me for asking so abruptly but I have business here and I would like you to act as my agent in the castle.”

Julius turned to the stone faced Subaru. “Does your business involve this man here? I believe we have not met before.” Rising, Julius turned to him. “I am Julius Juukulius, a knight bound to the royal knights of this kingdom.” Julius bowed to the black haired man.

Subaru stared him down, not moving an inch.

Before Julius could retort at that lack of decorum, Emilia interjected. “No, it does not. If you may guide me to the conference mirrors.” She turned to Subaru. “Could you wait here?”

Subaru nodded, the steel in his gaze lasting still.

Both Emilia and Ram threw him a questioning gaze but left him alone.

Now alone, Subaru tugged at his gloves, the collar of his shirt and jacket and dusted himself to try and calm himself down. The finest of knights…what a joke. Turning around he searched for a street ledge to sit on.

His rest was short lived as he soon saw a fiery-haired lady in a red and black dress being pulled into an alleyway. Subaru looked away. ‘Not my problem this time…Not like anything bad would happen to her…’ He started to frown, his mood worsening by each passing second. As he got up to stop any tragedy a wall of fire flying through that alleyway revealed his tardiness.

“Od damnit!” He screamed. Done with it already, he unsheathed his bastard sword and cut his throat to save the poor souls that had decided to anger that megalomaniac.

…

This time he swiftly followed her only to be met face to face with the three thieves of so long ago. Priscilla, having been grabbed by them, was waiting as they mumbled their script. Subaru, angered by three different sources, decided to save their lives with the quickest method possible.

Pacing towards them, he punched the first one in the chin before they could react. They were knocked out in that single hit. The second tried to stab his face and was thanked by a kick to his knee and an elbow to his back, both only painful and without breaking a bone. The third one ended with his armed arm trapped by Subaru, who turned them around and dislocated it in the most medically advisable way.

In five seconds the three thieves were either unmoving or groaning from the pain. Tugging at his gloves again, Subaru dusted them and, without uttering a word to a very interested Priscilla, left the alleyway.

Taking extra haste so as to dodge Aldebaran, Subaru returned to his waiting place before Emilia had even finished her business.

…

“I’m sorry we couldn’t get in touch with Reinhard.”

“No worries, Emilia, just send him word in the castle if you happen to find him and we are even!” Giving her a thumbs up, Subaru’s forgiving smile did a lot to relax Emilia.

“...and you will really stay put here, right?”

“I can’t promise that but I will try, lady Emilia.” He nodded, his perfect facade never breaking.

Her gaze grew even more uneasy. “...at least you will have Ram to keep company…Just be nice to Ram, okay?”

“Lady Emilia, who do you take me for?!”

Emilia turned to a standing Ram. “If something happens tell me, alright?”

Ram nodded solemnly, looking as if she had been tasked with a last stand to protect the kingdom. Once Emilia left, Ram sighed contently. “Now, sir, if you will excuse this humble maid, I am going to sleep very profoundly. So much, in fact, that I won’t notice whatever happens here. But, please, don’t do your worst.”

Subaru nodded at her. ‘Just say nothing…That’s your mission for the first loop. reconnaissance first. Then we slowly alter the patterns.’ His mind went back to his unreliable checkpoints of lately. He frowned. ‘...New directive. Treat it as the last one.’

…

Running towards the palace, he refused to ask for a carriage out of fear of his bad luck netting him the worst outcome. His luck, whoever, was worse than even that and had very particular plans, as a certain carriage stopped in front of him. 

“Is that him, princess?” Al, looking through the open door, turned to Subaru. “Hey, pal, sorry for this but you really need to get in. You were going towards the palace, right? With the half-elf?”

Subaru nodded, his empty face, a great poker face. “Thanks but…why?”

Al’s head turned back to the princess, stopped for a few seconds and left the carriage again. “You did me a favour it seems.”

“Ah…”

Once he entered the carriage resumed its driving. Inside, the overwhelming silence inside settled in, its awkwardness doing little to push either Priscilla or Subaru into breaking it. Al, sweating buckets under his helmet, shuffled on his seat as both simply stared at each other, both refusing to lose the battle by addressing the other first.

“...my stars aren’t looking so hot right now…” Al mumbled under his breath.

…

“He is the man that saved Al’s helmet from a kick?” The knight guarding the gate repeated Priscilla’s words as if they had misheard. Her confident stance made him gulp. “Al…alright. Everyone is waiting inside so, make haste please.”

“It is my privilege as their superior to keep the masses waiting.”

The knight gave her a slow nod as the door opened, revealing the wondrous hall behind. He started to walk forward, his mind in a trance. ‘Ah, I miss mine…I would not have believed the moron that would have told me that I would miss my old throne room.’ His mind played tricks on his eyes, changing decorations, seatings and people with the ones from his era. Gold and jewels were exchanged by artisan but cheap decorations. Nobility and knights, by councils and plebeians. The throne itself was missing a white haired half elf trying her best for him, no matter how much it pained both of them and how it was never good enough for anyone else. Next to her, a standing regent that did too much of everything, knew too much, acted too quickly, reacted to anything as if he already knew it was happening beforehand. He blinked, nostalgia making the next few seconds hazy.

‘I…I really did turn back. Countless millenia…wasted by my sloth. Can I really do it again? Restart from zero?’

“...-re, Subaru?! Didn’t you agree with me and told me that there was no problem? You even said you would try!” This younger Emilia shattered the illusion of the old one, both of their eyes filled with hurt. This Emilia’s, evident, not hidden behind insanity.

A loud voice cut off the justifications he had planned not for, counting on this very happenstance for that very reason. “The council of wise men will now enter.”

Al, noticing Subaru was back, nudged at his shoulder. “We should be over there, pal.”

Subaru nodded with a thankful smile, barely resisting the urge to bat that hand away. Roswaal watched with half a smile as Subaru joined the ranks of the knights. He would severely enjoy his play.

“He straight up lied to me…” Muttered Emilia, her heart wounded.

“Emilia-sama, the conference is beginning. To the centre.”

Subaru now stood next to Al, his gaze orbiting between past and present. Another illusion stood next to her smaller throne. Unmoving, robotic, emotionless. Reduced to a tool for the queen. For him. And one that was approaching him right now.

“So you came after all, friend.” That spectre talked from his right. Subaru turned to Reinhard, his smile forced to grow. His eyes were dead cold, his hand always gripping the hilt of his sword. Ever combat ready. Always looking for a fight, to play his part. To act as a Sword Saint ought to, as a hero should. And always feeling like a monster for such. “When I heard Emilia-sama would be here I suspected you would manage to arrive too.” The ghost went again, shattered by the softness in his words. The real happiness behind his gaze. The real Reinhard, the living Reinhard, just Reinhard, was there.

“Rein! I am happy to see you! How have these past days treated you?” His smile was turning a bit honest before another knight interrupted him.

“Hiya, Subaru-kyun!”

Reinhard blinked, surprised by the sudden wave of darkness in Subaru’s mind as he turned around. “Oh, Felix Argyle, right? I am pleased to see you again.” Subaru bowed, his perfect mask never slipping. His bow was a bad call from him as his vision catched Julius too. A small tick was heard as Subaru chipped a tooth due to exerting too much force while clenching his jaw. The wave of pain was nothing for him. “Has today treated you fine?”

“Oh, very well, in fact.” Felix turned to Reinhard. “I didn’t knyow you two were so close!”

Reinhard bowed at Felix too. “We met under unfortunate circumstances in which he proved to have the mantle of a knight.” 

Subaru pointed at the red haired man with his thumb. “He means that he saved my ass. Thrice. He is awesome, isn’t he? And too modest, really.”

“And why do you look so proud of that?!” Felix squinted at Subaru, his figure almost shining as he praised Reinhard.

Their chatter was cut off by the proceedings. “Now, if I may be so forward I, Marcos, leader of the Imperial knights…” ‘And betrayer of the kingdom.’ “Will direct today’s. It all happened about half a year ago, when members of the royal family, starting with the king, went into hiding one by one…”

“Listen…” ‘Anastasia…’ His growl went unheard. “I get that you wanna talk up a good show here but I’m busy, y’know. As we say in Kararagi, time is money.” ‘And you took that saying to heart. I will not let you willingly try to cause a famine in the kingdom to lower my camp’s power.’

“I agree.” ‘Crusch, of course you would. You would rather let people die before dropping out of your high horse. There will be no nobility rebellion this time!’ Reinhard threw a worried glance at a Subaru that was rapidly growing unstable.

‘He had really been blind back there. He had hoped that they would see the greater good. That the lives and people in the kingdom were that, people. Not numbers, not advantages, not votes. He had been wrong and he had no one to blame but himself. After all, had they not shown their true colours during the White Whale? They had been ready to let them all die just because it would prove beneficial to their political situation.’ Subaru’s clenched fist was slowly tainted in red. ‘And, after the countless resets he had needed to keep his no-dead policy, they had the gall to act as if they had done nothing wrong! As if he was a danger, a soon to be tyrant, a monster that had willingly broken a girl’s mind to have his way with the throne! Oh…OH! He had learnt. He would not let them even get started on sailing towards the throne.’

“...-ther I have or not have, you men will ramble on about it, yes? Continue, Marcos.” ‘...If I think about her I feel like I will need a reset to blow off steam…Think, Subaru, think of another thing…Argh! I am compromised! And I can’t reset standing between Felix and Reinhard.’ His fist opened and closed, needing some sort of movement. He tried to focus back on the ghosts of the present.

“...-ve?”

“Yes. Five.” Reinhard smiled warmly. “Currently there are only four candidates. The royal selection hadn’t even begun yet but, today, history is set in motion.

“Knight Reinhard Van Astrea, come forward.”

“Yes, sir.” Walking to the front and standing in front of the entire hall, Reinhard bowed his head. “Honoured members of the council of wise men, I, Reinhard Van Astrea of the imperial knights, would like to announce the completion of my mission.” His stern determination shrouded his serious face. “The dragon’s priestess, the fifth and final candidate to the throne, has been located!”

The gates opened and, everyone having turned to them, Felt, in a regal dress, entered the hall.

‘...out of all of them, Felt, you were the one who really deserved the crown.’ His smile turned acrid. ‘And I kicked you away. I can’t even justify what I did, for I did not know if you really wanted to run away or I was just justifying my actions…Even I don’t remember. And I think that makes it way worse. I…I am sorry.’

He blinked and returned to reality just as Felt looked at him. “You…what are you doing here?!”

“Lady Fe...” Before his official greeting could end, Felt kicked him straight on the stomach with full force. Subaru’s body moved with the inertia but his welcoming smile changed not.

“I haven’t forgiven you just because you helped me with old man Rom!”

“Point taken, Lady Felt. My apologies for my past behaviour.” He looked down, disconnecting from reality again. His mask would fall off if not. He would simply not pay attention until it ended. That should be enough for Roswaal…Excuses, he knew. He could not deal with the continuous striking of nostalgia, past regrets and furies. And, most of it, Felt’s almost thankful look had torn through his heart. He deserved none of that so he simply cooled down and shut off, a skill necessary for when he needed to sleep amidst loops.

The ceremony sped up in his eyes until it reached the vows, where he himself could not hold his concentration, the words spewed slowly making more and more sense.

“...-thers endorses a half-devil? Utter foolishness.”

Those words were the same. Subaru blinked.

“It’s not at all nice to call a half-elf a half-devil.” Smiling up at one of the wise men, Roswaal replayed the words of so long ago.

“She matches the appearance of the Witch of Envy as it has been described for generations! Why do you not realise that even allowing her in the throne room is dreadful?” Emilia closed her eyes and walked down as the councilman shouted. “Filthy woman!”

“Enough of your crap!”

The hall fell silent as a dark haired man moved forward. Roswaal smirked wide.

“Su-”

“You people, no, you, wastes of oxygen, are full of crap!” His well trained voice towered upon them all. As king-consort, he had seldom shown anger. Today, his eyes promised murder to the one who dared to interrupt him. The cold, callous words were roared with a will that would have sent the weak willed to their knees have them not been seated. “You, blue blooded, arrogant bastards have no place in these halls! What good have you done, what lives have you tried to improve? You all would sell anyone to keep both your power, influence and money!” That last word made Anastasia flinch. She knew it had been directed at her. “You call Emilia-tan a half-devil, when she is but a kind and compassionate girl that will break herself trying to help people who do not care about her or outright hate her.” Subaru started to pace up and down.

“Then, what does that make you?” His tone, frigid, sent the surrounding knights’ hands to the hilts of their weapons. Felt stared at him. “Oh, I will tell you all. That makes you true, absolute monsters. You believe yourselves superior to everyone, what a fucking sham.” His hand went to Felt, her finger pointed with the absolute confidence only an experienced king could conjure. “That oh so called gutter rat is worth more than you all combined, not to say anything about the half-elf! Half-devil, give me a fucking break.” The animosity in his gaze turned to the nobles in their seats. His finger moved up, ready to point at each and every single one of them and reveal their sins, their abuses of powers, the laws they had broken, the people they had killed like nothing. The nobles in the wake of his gaze balked, some raising the hands to defend themselves.

“Subaru!” Emilia, grabbing his raised hand, was trying to pull him away. “It’s alright! Stop this!”

He was startled out of his speech, having never been stopped by Emilia before. His glare turned to her before melting in shame. He nodded. Emilia, ashamed too, turned to the council in the still sepulchral silence of the hall. “A-allow me to formally introduce myself to the honoured council of elders. My name is Emilia. I am accompanied by Puck, a great spirit who controls fire, and I am a silver-haired half-elf.”

“A great spirit?” Was a timid whisper in the hall. Mutterings and small conversations sprung from it, as if it had broken a spell that had held them unmoving.

Emilia, turning around, faced the crowd with determination. “I understand that my lineage and similarity to the witch will subject me to prejudice. However, I adamantly refuse to let all of my potential be plucked out for such a simple reason.”

One of the councilmen coughed, trying to shake the fear away, and gestured to Subaru. “And what it’s its exact position. That young man, I mean.”

Her face revealed an internal struggle. “Huh…Um, well, he is…”

“Her knight.” Subaru turned to the council he had jailed long ago. “It is horrible to meet you all, elders, but I am called Natsuki Subaru. Manservant of Roswaal, gutter rat and best knight of lady Emilia.” He neither bowed nor knelt. Had he not previously terrified the hall he would have been arrested immediately.

“A…a knight, is he?” Some of the elders turned to each other. They remembered him not.

“Forgive me for interrupting…” Julius, stone faced, stepped forth, “But you just declared yourself a knight of this kingdom after insulting both it, its protectors and your own position. I doubt it but I shall still ask you, do you truly proclaim yourself lady Emilia’s knight? Do you really believe you have both the strength and determination? Everyone can shout, after all. Can you prove your worth by your actions and skill? Can you even be a knight?”

Subaru instead of answering glared at his nemesis of long ago.

Julius frowned. “I will take your lack of response as arrogance.” His hand went to his hilt. He felt less sorry for the method he had chosen to save this stupid man’s life. “Then before I, Julius Jukuulius, can accept your position as a knight I demand a duel.” A new cacophony of whispers flew through the hall. His lady glared at him but, had he waited, the young man would not have left the room before being struck down.

“I accept.” More whispering. The finest of knights against the self proclaimed knight.

“...you know what?” Another voice interrupted the ceremony. “The moron’s right.” Felt, advancing a step, interrupted the noise. Her face was determined. Looking at Subaru, she gave him a small bow before turning to the audience. “I hate the nobility. I hate the knights. I hate this kingdom. I hate everything about it! So I’m planning to tear everything down.” She turned to Marcos. “I will join this stupid selection, if only to piss you off.”

Reinhard, surprised, nodded with a small smile. Advancing to kneel in front of her, he bowed. “Then, from now on, I am your knight.”

“Hear!” Smirking, Felt turned to the crowd. “Should I win, I will destroy every single one of you and breathe fresh air to the nation!”

“...Then, with all of the candidates here at last, the royal selection will now begin.”

…

Both Subaru and Julius walked towards the arena. Every person they crossed glared at the black haired man, not that he cared, his steps boundless in confidence and authority. Behind, an interested Felix and a very worried Reinhard followed.

“Julius, you really should not d…It’s not like you.” He could not finish the initial sentence. He knew this was a light punishment.

“He insulted everyone in the kingdom in front of the throne he should protect.” Subaru’s scoff interrupted him. “...this is not only my problem. This infraction is not something he can be warned or corrected about.” Julius turned to the man.

Subaru, having grabbed a wooden sword, was already moving to the other side of the arena.

His frown deepened. His voice, loud and confident, quelled the insults from the observers. “Normally, it would not be unusual for you to be slain for your grievous insolence. However, and much to my dismay, you are Emilia-sama’s attendant. Therefore, I will beat you down with simple wooden swords.” He waited for an answer that faced him not. “Shall we begin?”

“Yes.” Cold fury was in that word. Once he uttered that word Subaru rushed towards a ready Julius under the insults of the crowd.

Getting close, he kicked the ground to throw sand at Julius’ face. Dodging with elegance, his counter was aimed at Subaru’s stomach but was dodged. His face changed a bit as he noticed that the sand had been a feint. Redoing his position Julius barely managed to deviate a stab directed at his own guts.

Not finished with that he had to double to his side as to dodge a punch to his face. That left Subaru’s left arm open and Julius lost not his chance, hitting the elbow and breaking it, making the arm useless. In exchange, Subaru twirled his armed arm and Julius was hit on his face with the weapon still on his right, breaking his nose and reeling him back. ‘A double feint?’ His eyes, not understanding, turned to an undeterred Subaru who had just sacrificed his left arm to break his nose, seemingly invulnerable to pain.

“Finally got to do that, you bastard.” Was his growl as he rushed against him again.

During the next strikes they were evenly matched, causing some surprised and dejected exclamations from the crowd. As if he knew his every move, Subaru dodged, parried, blocked and slid away Julius’ moves. Of course, skill alone was not enough and Subaru’s body quickly got tired. His worse reflexes, speed and strength put him quickly on the defensive. Soon enough, every second attack was hitting, breaking bones and bruising skin and muscles below.

A particularly nasty hit struck Subaru’s chin, knocking him to the floor. “Is that it? All of that arrogance merely amounts to this?” Julius charged all of his words with pure disdain.

Subaru got up and spat a few teeth. Rotating his sword, he turned to Julius with the most pure and distilled hate he had ever seen, making him pause for half a second. ‘...You do not even realise that I am saving your life…’ Knowing he had to move, Julius dived in amidst the cheering of the blood thirsty crowd.

Fully unleashed and intending to make a good show of this duel as to satisfy whoever wanted vengeance for this man, Julius’ blows struck with the intent to hurt but not knock out. Broken nose. Leg inoperable. Left shoulder dislocated and clavicle broken. Repeat to the right arm. To the right leg. The crowd's enthusiasm dimmed a bit as the brutality continued. Soon enough, Subaru should not be standing. He managed to block a strike and stabbed at Julius, only hitting his cloak.

“Your pride stops you from even realising you have reached your limit. Or have you yet to realize how below you are from the knights you insulted and made light of?” His question was ended with another chin strike. That should knock him out.

Subaru hit the ground, his body a mangled mess. 

“I believe continuing would endanger your life.” Julius twirled his wooden sword, droplets of blood flying around but not hitting him. 

Subaru got up. Broken bones piercing through muscles and skin, he turned towards Julius, who backed a step. He should not have been able to!

“Yeah, like you ever cared about that.” Subaru’s body moved a step, leaving a trail of blood behind. His right hand was still grasping the wooden sword. His broken, dislocated right arm moved up, further injuring itself but willfully refusing Julius’ Providence. “But no, I still have gas left in the tank. Do your worst, Finest of Knights.”

Julius frowned but did as he was offered to. Sidestepping the still sharp sword arm and its stab, he broke his right wrist. The sword was not yet dropped but the arm was lowered. Next was another hit to the face. Subaru reeled but fell not. A third slash at his leg and it moved even more out of place. Subaru stood, uncaring.

The crowd had been long silent. Each second, each move, had turned the cheers into grimaces. How can he, no, how can it move? That was neither arrogance nor pride. That was a death wish. The reality in front was a nightmare. Julius, redoubling his efforts to make Subaru lose before he died from his severe injuries, was hard pressed to make him even drop to the ground.

Closing his eyes, he aimed for the chin again, finally breaking his mandible and this time throwing him onto the sand. His worried gaze widened as Subaru moved. Hands onto the sand, knees and feet readying themselves. He kneeled. He stood up again. As he turned around, weapon still ready, his legs failed him, body too broken to continue and falling again on the ground. Providence could not be defeated, after all. The crowd let out a relieved sight, the nightmare had fallen. Yet its glare stabbed at Julius all the same.

“I absolutely despise you, Finest of Knights.” Was Subaru’s whisper, almost unhearable. Had the crowd not been terrified into silence Julius would have missed it.

‘Despite being so far away from myself, so much better, so incredibly, far away better, for being what I could never be, you were still not good enough for this world. You still were unable to not become a monster. And for that, I hate you. And I hate myself for ever envying you.’

His next words were slower than in the past. “Your skill level is far too low. Your strength, that of a mutt. Your smarts and intelligence, underwhelming. You are utterly, completely and irredeemably powerless. You aren’t worthy to stand at your lady’s side.”

Fearing a last strike would kill him for good, Julius turned around and left the arena. And still he felt a glare on his back. He repressed a shudder.

…

“I remember this ceiling.” Muttered Subaru. It brought up old memories. This was the castle’s infirmary. Slowly blinking, he took stock of his injuries. ‘...Back at a third. A fraction of functionality good enough to get out of here.’

“Subaru.”

‘Emilia?’ He looked to his right, where the half-elf was seated. ‘Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be doing more important things? The selection has just started, why…’

Her calm expression from before turned sad, “While I appreciate you coming to my and Felt’s defense, you shouldn’t do such rash things…I think you have had bad experiences with knights before and I am sorry for that but…, you should not insult them like that. You were proving their point by being like them. You can’t generalise, right? Wasn’t that what you were standing against?” Her gaze, filled with pity, looked over his still wounded body. “...we will talk more later about what you declared before but, first things first, how do you feel?”

Subaru blinked. “I…” His voice hoarse, his jar fought against him. He looked away from her, her eyes piercing him. Her earnestness hurt him worse than Julius. “I feel battered but I am fine, lady Emilia. I…I do not know what came over me in the hall. I am immensely sorry.”

Emilia tilted her head. “But, Subaru, I think this is the first time you have done something you truly wanted to do?”

He turned back to her, not understanding her words.

“Like, you have been…you have been acting to get us to trust you and I have never seen you take a break once. You were always going from one thing to another. Always helping us around the mansion, always working, always spending your time on us.” Her gaze examined his face. “And…back then…you were speaking your own words. Your own dislikes. You looked like you, not like Subaru the butler.” Her face morphed into a tiny, a bit forced but solely for him smile. “Nice to finally meet you.”

Subaru sighed, his face losing emotions. “Am I really that transparent?”

“No, not really.” Emilia tilted her head to the other side. “Had I not seen you today I would not have noticed. Your words back then had a touch that was very much like you. The same care as always yet… evident, raw.” Her gaze turned shy as her gaze dodged him a bit. “And I am still very angry at you for breaking your word and lying! But…well, I talked with Roswaal…and…” She shook her head. Slapping her cheeks, she faced him with steel in her gaze. “I will be working you to the bone, Knight Subaru. That’s the only favour you seemed to truly want so…it’s yours. Plus, Roswaal also agreed with it.” Her gaze furrowed. “...and that will come once you return from the capital! Roswaal and I will be returning to the mansion tomorrow while you will stay here to receive treatment for your gate! I even spoke with Felix and its state was worse than expected!”

Subaru nodded. That…certainly made things easier. ‘...Nevertheless, should I not reset? My previous speech will certainly paint a target in my back that Julius won’t be able to fully clean. Moreover, could I manufacture the same alliance as last time? It is imperative that Wilhelm kills the White Whale…Is it? I feel like it must be…So be it.’

“Just…do not do anything that could put you in harm.” His gaze, three different levels of worry, traced the bruises in his face.

Subaru’s small smile did nothing to lessen her worry. “I will try, lady Emilia. And…I am grateful to you for covering for my selfish desire.”

“Then do not lie again nor break another promise!”

At that Subaru snickered, the pain of the gesture not showing on his face. “That I will try to do too, lady Emilia.”

As she left and the door closed softly, his mask was broken. Slowly getting off the bed, he went for his possessions. Luckily, Julius was as thorough as ever, even his bastard sword had been carried over to this room. Unsheathing it with little noise, Subaru started at its edge. “Round two here we go. Let’s see if I can break your nose and knock a tooth off this time. Really, I need a less…galvanasing speech this time.”

As he cut his neck he saw the door opening again. Emilia, having heard noise, had come back. His vision rapidly turned black but not fast enough to forgive him the sight of despair that darkened her face. ‘I am sorry you had to see this…’

“Subaru! / Sir!”

…

The door closed softly. Subaru blinked a few times, laying on a medical bed. ‘All right, something is really going on with the checkpoints.’ Knowing that getting up would bring back Emilia Subaru chose to stay quiet, his thoughts thinking about the reality of the situation. ‘Am I permanently trapped? No…it let me repeat the forest’s events…What is the common denominator in all of these fast locking loops? They happened after conversations with members of the camp, right? But, what would that have to do with anything?’ His gaze turned to the door. ‘Is Envy testing me? Apart from medium inconveniences to my plan, they have brought little damage to me or my main objective, barring migraines. Needs further experimenting.’

The door opened and Ram strolled inside before plopping onto the chair. Head on hand, her disappointed glare was upon him. “Really, sir? You break half of your bones to hit your opponent in the nose? Either you are too kind or your arrogance is too big for your own good.”

“Rude much?! Had I been in my prime it would have been a draw!...Well, mostly. Maybe.” He turned his face away, a small smile booming. ‘Now…what would the best way to experiment be? Mid conversation, post? When does it choose to save?’

“Your own delusions are clearly lacking confidence, sir.” Her mask cracked a bit as she frowned at his still apparent injuries. “...even if it seems to be both well and misplaced at the same time, sir.”

Subaru shrugged. “Some walls I can never surpass.” He turned to his things. “Do you mind doing me a favour, Ram-chi?”

Her sigh was fairly heavy. “...what do you need?”

“Could you pass me my sword?”

She frowned. “Why would you need…”

“Just trust me, please.”

Her frown deepened. The conversation she had overheard, more like stalked, replayed in her mind. Still…could really the man in front of her be another Roswaal? She shook her head, got off the bed and did as she was told. Back on her chair, she passed him the sword. “Now, sir, if you pointed it at me I would feel my expectatives proven so, if you could, refrain yourself from that.”

“Oh, nothing of the sort, Ram-chi.” His light tone, while weird, did stop her danger sense from noticing something outrageous as he unsheathed the sword. Her eyes widened when she realised, too late, what he had intended to do.

“Sir!” Ram rushed to the black haired man with his throat cut. Her hands filled themselves with blood as she tried to stop the hemorrhage. “Why would you…” His contemplative expression answered her questions. ‘So this is how he loops…’

…

Her sigh was fairly heavy. “...what do you need?”

‘Huh, strange indeed. This reset took me back to before I had asked for the weapon…’ “Could you get a bit closer, please?”

Ram blinked a few times before deeply frowning. “Sir, I am not physically interested in you.”

“Ouch! Did you have to both go directly to that topic and reject me while at it too!?" Faking deep hurt, Subaru shook his head. “But, really, nothing of the sort. Just trust me.”

She rolled her eyes and got off the chair, advancing till she was almost on top of him. “Is this good enough for your fantasies, sir?” She backed not as Subaru’s right hand moved to her face, noticing his expression filled with concentration. Just a second away she realised what he was doing as his fingers brushed against her broken horn.

She repressed a groan, her body being invaded with foreign mana. She was…it was…not painful? Her burden lightening, her body betrayed her and lowered her head towards the tiny mana flow. After half a minute, and as Subaru started to hyperventilate, the connection was cut. Backing a few steps, she growled, “What did you…”

“Roswaal told me about your condition.” Subaru rushed to explain himself, his breath short and heavy. “If you are staying with me I need to be able to help with it. I did it right now because both Emilia and Roswaal were still here in case anything went wrong. Had the duel not happened, I would have done it in front of them.”

“...next time warn me, sir.” Shaking her head and with half a mind to crack a few of his bones too, she turned around and started to leave the room. Before fully leaving she stopped, not turning around. “...I will be in your care, sir.”

The door closed again. As once before, Subaru grabbed the sword and ended himself.

…

“...I will be in your care, sir.”

The door closed. Subaru reclined on the bed. ‘...Truly baffling…’

…..

Chapter Text

(V̅DCCCLXXIX)

The garden in Crusch’s palace was usually a peaceful greenery filled with dozens of different flowers and plants. Today, it was a place of war where two warriors were practicing their immortal art.

Subaru, in the middle of the garden, was struggling against Wilhelm. No amount of past experience in this exact match up could ever narrow the enormous gap between skill, disposition, training and body preparedness. For the first time in this new restart, Subaru was overwhelmed and at the mercy of an opponent he would never be able to beat in these circumstances.

Wilhelm, on the other hand, able to block and parry his strikes with ease, was very impressed. For a man with such a weak gate and very little physical training, he was holding his own fairly well for the difference in their skill levels. It was making him want to gain the initiative and start attacking. His sword moved by itself and started to test the boy’s defenses. Now he could really compliment the boy. As if he had complete knowledge over his body’s dimensions, weak points and equilibrium, he fought with double, no, triple the skill of before. If before he had been an average soldier now he seemed to be a wall. Surmountable, but a wall nonetheless. Unable to stop himself, Wilhelm moved forward and in four moves, one more than he had expected, sent Subaru’s word flying about.

“I believe we should stop for now.” Wilhelm stabbed his training ground on the ground, his eyes still examining the man in front.

Subaru nodded. “Thanks again for giving me tips, old man.”

“I decided by myself to join in your training, young man. No thanks needed.” His gaze went to his hands, filled with wounds yet the man displayed no discomfort. “But to act with too much haste during your training could harm you in the long run.”

Subaru nodded, not looking too worried. “I will keep that in mind, Wilhelm.” Ignoring his trembling legs, he bowed at the warrior and went on his way.

…

“I swear, Julius, you are wasting your good nature. To play that much of a villain for a…someone like that…” Felix shook his head. Had he not been dealing with a candidate to the throne he would have cancelled the treatment. His ears shuffled in distaste too. He sighed and went on his own way. At least the knight had not been punished over his actions, the duel having been seen as a good punishment. Or maybe they had been scared still and the punishment would come later. Not that they would try anything right now as he currently was under Crusch’s protection.

His eyes noticed something and he had to stop. Reinhard had arrived?!

…

Subaru had been too slow in retreating from the garden, having not expected Reinhard to arrive. Turning to him with a bright smile, he saw a regretful Sword Saint bowing down to him. “My deepest apologies, Subaru. I beg for your forgiveness.”

“Ha-hang on! There’s nothing to apologise for! If anything I also insulted you by proxy! None of that was your fault, only mine!”

The red haired man shook his head, still bowing. “Yet I call myself a friend to both you and Julius and did nothing to stop such a tragic circumstance from happening. My own lack of virtue was responsible for…”

“Rein.” Subaru’s confident yet cold tone made him look up. “Had Julius not done so I would be dead. If anything, smack me in the face and go thank Julius. The bastard’s a real knight.” Subaru’s glare was on him. “The only thing you are to blame for in this situation is making it about you and your self-blame. You did nothing wrong…And if you feel like or even if you just did something wrong, then simply learn and do better next time. No need for apologies between friends, right?”

Reinhand blinked at him.

Subaru patted his shoulder. ‘A good time to continue plan R.’ “Rein. You are fallible. And that’s the thing that makes you the hero you are.” He raised a hand to stop Reinhard from interrupting. “You are a hero because you are the most human, kindest person I have ever met and known. At every point, despite how much you blame yourself and believe you are at fault, you still chose to try again, to act right and to become better. That, Reinhard, is what makes you heroic. Not your powers. Not your Divine Protections. You, Reinhard, are a hero because you are Reinhard.”

The hero blinked away the sudden wetness in his eyes. “Friend... you really know what to say.” He shook his head lightly as a small smile appeared on his face. “To think that, instead of apologising to you I would be the one helped in this situation. I will try to keep your words in mind.” His smile turned a smirk. “And I shall start now by confessing two small wrongs of mine.”

“Shoot, Reinhard. What horrid thing did you do, put reds and whites in the laundry together?”

Reinhard's confused blink did not stop him. “First, I came here with a secondary purpose. Second, do you remember the letters you shared with me?”

Subaru nodded. “Yeah, what about them?”

“I will reveal that I read both at the time of receiving them.”

Subaru’s second nod got frozen mid gesture. “You…you did what?!” Subaru turned to Reinhard like he had suddenly morphed into an elephant. “You…you did?! You-you really did? I…” Subaru reached for his chest. “I…I never…”

Reinhard’s gaze turned from apologetic to dry. “Subaru.”

At that Subaru started to loudly laugh. Doubling over, he almost fell down to the ground, attracting a gaze from Wilhelm. “Ah, Od below…Sorry, sorry! Like, Rein, of course you would read the extremely suspicious letters as soon as you knew of them!” Still reeling, he coughed a bit. “Did you not see the very explicit instructions that took into account you having read them that very same day? Your face!” His coughs cut his speech.

Reinhard rolled his eyes, holding in a snicker. “I am reassured to see you in such high spirits despite everything.” The atmosphere light, Reinhard continued testing the waters. “But, if I may return to the matter over Julius…I believe you both got…hurt over the duel. And you said yourself that he tried to help you, so if you would be willing to try and have a calm discussion I am sure the animosity could be resolved.” Rein did his best to not pressure Subaru with his hopeful gaze.

Subaru sighed as he crossed his arms. ‘Fuck that.’ “Yeah. You are definitely right. And, between you and me, he was the one who lost most in that duel. An apology from me to him would be in order, yes. But, right now, I can’t really face him. Just…could you give me a week?”

Reinhard’s eyes gained an edge, not towards Subaru but towards that week itself. “So you would delay it so much despite the danger? I can’t say I approve, friend.” His face relaxed but nodded. “Nonetheless, I can understand where your reticences come from. I shall let the matter rest.” His eyes locked on Subaru. Giving him a small nod, he added, “We shall see each other in five days time.”

Subaru smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. “And remember, nab the glory for yourself or I will get angry!”

…

Getting ready to heal him, Felix eyed Ram. “Say, Subaru-kyun, is her presence here necessary? I thought you would prefer privacy.”

Ram stared in front of herself without paying attention to both of them.

Subaru shyly smiled at him. “I would rather have someone trustworthy accompany me. Prevention is better than healing, wouldn’t you agree?”

Felix nodded, swallowing down his suspicions.

…

Subaru dried his wet hair as he climbed the stairs. No Crusch was in sight while he returned to his room. ‘...no fallout…More memories gone…’ Entering his guest room, Ram was waiting seated next to the window, her gaze always in the direction of the mansion. “You are late, sir.”

“Sorry, sorry.” His mask clicked back into place. ‘...is that really a mask, I wonder?’ Sitting next to her, he shook his head. Back in his butler suit, he really needed to buy a suit. He missed that look in the mirror. It was as much him as his hands and legs. Turning to Ram, his soft gaze turned to her forehead. “Whenever you are ready.”

She turned without a word. As the treatment flowed its course, Subaru uttered. “I am sorry for, well, being the one doing this.”

“Why be? It is a fact of my life. The same as being pathetic in yours, I believe.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” Controlling the flow of mana while mitigating the damage to his gate, Subaru did not frown. Not from pain, not from absolute focus. His face was as stable as always. “You know what I meant.”

“No, I don’t.” Ram rolled her eyes. “And even if I did, sir, I would say the same. There’s nothing to apologise for. You have your orders and I have mine. Them going for or against our wishes is not relevant.”

“Pragmatic Ram-chi is boring.” He forced a small chuckle as he breathed in. “May you accompany me in three days on a stroll around the city?”

Her gaze tried to dig into his. “...what a specific time to try and have your way with a lonely maiden such as me, sir. May I know the reason?”

“I will need your wind magic.”

Ram frowned. Her hands moved and she crossed her arms. “I need more than that, sir. Trust is a two way street. I have…”

“You will be cutting a very big tree.” His smirk was playful.

“...my apologies, sir? I believe I misheard?” 

“You did not, Ram-chi. I meant it. You will need to cut that tree. The rest I will manage.” His earnest gaze revealed little else.

“Sir…”

“It is all according to Roswaal’s...no, it’s mine. I have…thought long and hard about it. All pieces should be ready. The ones that aren’t will be set in place.” His lowered eyes moved up again. “No need to worry about it, Ram.” He gave her a reassuring smile.

That sentence ignited a small fire in her eyes. “Does traveling back in time make you forget I am a person, not a tool?”

At that Subaru was honestly surprised. “Why would I ever think of you as a tool, Ram?”

“It may be my misunderstanding, sir…” Her tone, dry, had a hint of fury and hurt. “But you really seem to do. Or, at the very least, you work with the thinking that I am a thing to maneuver around instead of working with. At the beginning I bought the necessity. Now? After all? Really?”

His gaze lowered. “Ram, you should have already suspected that I am not free to talk about…”

“No, I do not. I know not your limitations nor what you can do.” Treatment finished, she stood up. “But I know a scheemer when I see one, even if you seem benign or even helpful.” She started to leave the room. “But, I will warn you, even master Roswaal started like that.” The sound of the door closing shook Subaru down to his core.

Ram, on her way back, shook her head, believing she could have handled that better. Yet…the expression she had managed to see on him when he tried to reassure her the plan was solid. How he had looked at his own hands as if all depended on him. ‘Telling me not to worry like me worrying over it was something world ending…’ Honestly, it had infuriated her. She was starting to understand why he had simply glossed over them trying to kill him. And she feared the hypothesis she was theorising.

…

Having arrived in front of a certain appa stand, Subaru breathed in. “Let’s go, Ram.” And he turned around, hands tugging at the shirt’s collar of his new suit.

The first words he had directed at her in three days were followed by her tiny bit startled first words to him. “To where, sir?”

“Back to the Karsten state.”

She frowned, her eyes darting around. Their walk had been fifteen minutes and had had no tree in sight. “I don’t understand, sir.”

“If I am fully honest, it was purely for nostalgia’s sake, Ram-chi.” His eyes had a glint of red as he left that fateful spot behind. ‘...I will miss you, Rem. Yet I am thankful you will miss this.’ “...watch my back. I will watch yours.”

Ram tensed up, eyes glinting in readiness at his serious tone. “I will, sir.”

…

Subaru enters the mansion without hesitating. His steps never slow down despite crossing paths with servants and newcomers. Strolling to the study of Crusch, he opened the door and simply sat down in front of the startled candidate to the throne. Ram, following behind, softly closes the door. 

“Y…”

“I know you are preparing to hunt the White Whale and I know that you will fail.” Subaru tilted his head, ignoring Felix and Wilhelm’s stares. “Yet I am willing to offer both assistance and help in its subjugation. I know where it will appear and how to defeat it.”

A wave of murderous intent flowed from Wilhelm, making Ram turn to look at him.

“It is rather sudden of you to bring the White Whale and proclaim you are indispensable in its extermination. Have you learnt nothing about pride these past days?” Despite her words, Crusch sat properly and grabbed her hands.

At that Subaru chuckled darkly. “Let’s cut down the chase. Your Divine Protection of Wind Reading should have told you I wholeheartedly believe what I said. Adding to that, the Sword Saint can vouch for my reliability, thing you know too after his visit.” His fingers, tapping the table, were helping him count the time. “Now, I know your battle tactics, I know the system you designed to know how many men you lose while fighting and I know how much equipment you have. It won’t be enough.”

“...let’s say you are right and you truly know all that.” Crusch shuffled on her seat, her hand stopping both her knight and butler from intervening. “What do you stand to gain from that?”

“Wilhelm and manpower needed for a small raid against the Witch’s cult.” His glare worsened. “As you already know, Lady Emilia will be targeted. As she had just returned to her mansion without her entire camp, she will be vulnerable. Take it as a paranoiac precaution. I ask for Wilhelm and twenty soldiers’ one day of labour. I shall return them all alive, of course.”

“I still don’t…”

“Fifteen thirteen, those are the exact hour and minutes when the whale will appear.”

“...which day?”

Subaru shrugged. “Take the deal for more.”

Crusch frowned. Felix reddened. “So you would doom my camp out of greed?”

“Don’t act like you would not have done just that, lady Karsten.”

Detecting killing intent, Wilhelm appeared next to Subaru, his sword on his neck. Subaru paid him no mind, his eyes still on Crusch. Ram raised a hand towards Wilhelm. Felix, a dagger against Ram.  

The candidate sighed yet did not recall Wilhelm. “Keeping up this hypothetical, what would my insurance be?” 

“Well, for starters? The right to punish me whichever way you want to. Yet we both know that's useless to you, apologies for the joke.” Crusch frowned, finally detecting a lie. “In actuality, the rights of mining to a mana stone mine in the forest of Roswaal’s domain. You will get it once you agree to the deal, win or not.” Subaru slammed the document on the desk and tapped it. “Check its validity. The signature is that of Roswaal.” He shrugged, the movement causing a small cut on his throat. “Say everything I said was arrogance, you would only have a new body that you would neither remember nor need to bury and a new shiny mine. Now, say I was right…You get your whale, pricy mana stones and the entire glory for the kill. You lose nothing by accepting it.”

Her eyes lowered to the official document. So far, she had detected just one lie. Her Divine Protection was working. Another wave of her hand and Wilhelm backed after bowing his head. “I doubt how your participation would be able to change something. You are powerless.”

“I am the perfect bait for the whale. It will go whenever I go if it takes notice of me. See what I mean? You have the perfect bait to stop it from running away. And you are wholly unprepared for that, isn’t that right? Should it just simply choose to disengage, to fly away, what would your options be?” Crusch’s eyes turned daggers, fearing a real threat below those words. Would he dare to…

Wilhelm flinched at his words. It should not be smart enough to employ such a tactic but…if it did, his life’s purpose…His eyes turned to Crusch. “...I will say, Lady Crusch, that it is our duty as knights of the kingdom to hunt the witch cultists. I take no offense to being part of the deal if, of course, his information proves reliable.”

Crusch grimaced a tiny bit at that. Wilhelm’s eagerness, while understandable, worsened her position in this deal. “And how should I believe your information to be as Wilhelm has stated?”

Subaru shrugged. “If the backing of the greatest mage of the kingdom and the Sword Saint does not do it then I have nothing. My apologies for wasting both of our time.” He got up from his chair. “If you excuse me, I have a meeting with Anastasia.” With no doubt in his stride, he started to leave the room.

“Wait!” Crusch coughed and tried to mask the slight panic in her voice. “If I may explain my question of before, I meant to ask what’s your stake here. I know Lady Emilia’s and Roswaal’s but I can’t fathom yours. You sit here and, knowing the White Whale would hunt you down upon seeing you, you propose this pact with great danger to yourself and no reward. What’s more, you came to me first, a useless blue blood by your words, instead of Anastasia, a gutter rat.”

“My lady’s wellbeing is reward enough.”

Another truth. Crusch sighed. Felix’s expression lost a bit of his earlier fury.

“But…if you want to hear my intent…” Subaru faced her. “I want to save your and your camp's lives. That we don’t see eye to eye is no reason to leave you to die under that beast. Not that you are as bad as the rest of them. You, at least, are righteous.”

Crusch’s eyes widened a bit. After a few seconds a small smile appeared on her face. “My fears over your personality may have partially clouded my judgement. You do not seem to be the kind of man I believed you were. Despite how you act and behave, you are utterly honest in your motivations, aren’t you?” Her hands slammed against the table. “So be it, I shall accept this deal.”

Subaru nodded. “I am grateful for that, Crusch, really. Let the hunt begin, was it?”

As he returned to the chair Ram sighed, tension relaxing from her shoulders. “...sir, your neck is bleeding.”

Subaru looked down, noticing the growing pink stain on his white shirt. Cleaning the blood off with a handkerchief, he muttered, “That went fairly well.” ‘The first few times it did end up in bloodshed.’ His eyes still lingered in the stain. He had just bought it too…

Ram shook her head at his lack of selfcare. “I guess that big tree meant the challenge that the White Whale will be, sir?”

“No, it means you are going to cut a big tree. Your job has not changed.” Four gazes turned to him.

“...sir, I am so done with you.”

“We both know you enjoy my presence, Ram-chi.” The fully powered slap in the back of his head threw him onto the table, denting its surface. “What was that for?!”

“I was merely expressing my emotions at your persona via manual methods, sir.”

“Subaru-dono.” A voice at their left made them turn both their heads towards Wilhelm. “I wanted to both thank you for your help and apologise for being the cause of your new injury.”

“There’s really no need, old man. Give it hell in her name.” Subaru gave a curt nod to the old man.

A blood thirsty smile appeared on the old man’s face as he bowed deeply.

…

Morning now, Subaru trolled in front of a herd of multi-coloured earth dragons. His choice had been made so long ago and he had never regretted it, even after she died of old age. “Hey, Patrasche, glad to meet you again.”

The earth dragon turned to him. A majestic black-scaled dragon with piercing and regal yellow eyes. Subaru extended his hand to an old friend. Patrasche slowly leaned into his touch and stroked her cheeks against his palm. Subaru’s tiniest smile was pure honesty. “Welcome back, dearest friend.” He turned to both Ram and Felix staring at him.

Felix raised his arms and shook his head, ears fluttering. “Why am I not even surprised? It's yours nyow, I guess.”

Ram, on the other hand, got lost in his expression. Utterly enchanted and happy. Not a mask but the man below. His eyes, a sea of sadness under a starless sky in which, now, one single dot of light had appeared. The barriers slammed back up as soon as Subaru noticed her. Her smile widened, his eyes shone brightly again. The honesty was gone. “What can I say, Felix? It’s love at first sight.”

Felix scoffed. “Sure thing.”

…

Subaru’s old training as he observed the sheer number of men he would have to protect kicked in. The hall, filled with both magic users and knights, followed him as if enchanted as Subaru started to walk up and down along the line, his piercing eyes inspecting the men. His steps echoed as he remembered every single face there. It had been needed, for the rest would forget. A roll call was not any longer. He already knew them all by name.

A giant dogman slowly walked to him and bowed. “My lady has told me about you, sir. It seems like you will have partial command over the men here.” His gaze examined him. “At the very least you look the part, commander.”

“What is a demihuman bound to Lady Anastasia doing here?” Subaru’s professional tone caused the warrior to straighten up by habit.

“So you knew, sir? I’m Ricardo, head of the mercenary team. Lady Karsten has chosen that a temporary cooperation with our camp would be in her best interests.” His alert gaze turned to the pink haired maid next to him. “Nice to meet you too, lil lady.”

“She is my second in command, mercenary of the Iron Fang.”

The dogman straightened again. “My apologies. I won’t disrespect her again.” His expression did not change as he noticed the grin of the maid. ‘So he knew that too…Anastasia was right to put a pin in this man. He gives a dangerous aura. His past is unknown too. I just wish I will be able to bring some good intel back to her.’

“I see you feel at home here, Subaru.” Crusch, having arrived, approached the three of them. “Has the auxiliary commander deemed his strategy public knowledge already?” His eyes scanned him, wondering where that expertise of his was coming from.

Subaru nodded. “The plan will be fairly uncomplicated.” Subaru turned to the men, his posture perfect. “We shall engage the Whale in our terms. I will be the bait that shall move the creature to the spots I shall designate today.” A nod to Ram and she pulled out a flawless map of what, soon, would be the battlefield. “Once it has taken sufficient damage, I will move her towards Flugel’s tree where my second in command will use it to pin the beast in place, there, Wilhelm will have his glory. Her two clones must be entertained for this to work.” His gaze turned to the men. “Now, some previous matters.”

His finger and voice started to point at different people, giving life saving warnings gained from past loops. Both Ricardo and Crusch stared at him as he started to name soldiers that not even they knew the names of. The warnings were also pinpoint accuracy and personalised for each person. The exactitude about the things they would have to evade to not die in that possible eventuality was bone chilling.

Mid speech more veterans of past subjugations strolled in. They too, were added to the warnings of Subaru. Once he had finished, Subaru nodded and explained his plan consisting of nests of artillery and mages that would be evacuated in quick succession. Once it had chosen to lower, the infantry would offer direct support to the bait. When the tree fell, the mission would be completed. His voice, perfectly stable and hearable, as if rehearsed thousands of times. His strategy, meticulously explained with the care of a veteran commander of dozens of wars. His discussion went on for another two hours, getting into the nitty-gritty of it all. After finishing, he bowed and backed away.

Crusch stepped forward. “Four hundred years. It’s been four hundred years since the White Whale created by the Jealous Witch made the world its hunting ground, trampling the weak and dominating the land as if it were its owner. And in those years passed, countless lives have been lost. Given, as well, the unscrupulous nature of its fog, the number of graves we cannot even inscribe with names will only rise.” She breathed in, her voice gaining even more strength. 

“But those days of sitting idly end today! Those of us here today shall end it! We will strike down the White Whale and prevent further tragedy from arising! We will give the forgotten sorrow the chance to shed overdue tears!” Her sword, sheathed, slammed against the ground. “We move out! Our destination is Flugel’s Tree. Today, we slay the White Whale with our own hands!”

…

Subaru, riding Patrasche with Ram, was ahead of the prepared positions of the army behind.

“Sir, I still have complaints about the plan.”

“Is it the part where you throw me, the part when you have to catch me, the part where you are banned from using spells or the part where everything depends upon you cutting a tree that should be very rough?"

“Yes.”

At that Subaru snickered.

“I am being serious, sir.”

His voice lowered. “I know Ram. But I won’t let anything happen to either you or Patrasche. You have my word that I will protect you both.”

Her hands gripped the reins. “But who protects you, sir?”

At that Subaru laughed, ignoring the question. “Ram, I can return by d…” The stench increased just as an enormous shadow appeared around them. High above, tainting the night sky in white, blocking the shining stars and devouring the light of the Moon, the White Whale soared through the skies. The sounds of panicking soldiers were hearable even from here.

“Now.”

“El-Fura.”

Subaru was thrown through the sky. His roar was heard all across the land. “Now, you detestable thing, I got a big score to settle with you!” As he flew he turned around. “Men, no, warriors of Lugunica, let it have it! Fire!”

His command granted courage, helped by the sight of their leader literally flying head first into the terrifying monster. The soldiers took aim and shot at the Whale, diverting its attention away from the small man rapidly approaching her and stopping her from simply eating him off the sky. Amidst explosions of magic and artillery, Subaru slowed down and reached the enormous horn of the whale.

Unsheathing his bastard sword, Subaru embedded it deeply into the bony protrusion with a two handed downwards stab. His glare was as hateful as the Whale’s. “This is for killing Rem.” He threw the one firestone he had nabbed from his trap for gluttony. It exploded next to its right eye, partially damaging it. Its roar threatened to knock him to death by falling off. “This one’s for Theresia.” His trusty kitchen knife was sacrificed to hurt its left eye.  He smirked as the roar deafened him, making his body tremble from its sheer volume. “And this one’s for Natsuki Subaru. I can return by d…” He didn’t hear his own words. They didn’t matter.

The blow from the night-banisher cannon aimed at its back was ignored as its eyes glowed red. A third roar and the creature speed up, as if trying to reach the cockroach embedded in its horn by simply moving forward, not thinking straight in its induced madness. So enraged it was that small movements from Subaru altered its trajectory, making it start to swim in circles under the cold and uncaring moonlight. All the while, its thrashing and brusque movements threatened the weak hold the black haired man had on its horn.

Not wasting time, more projectiles arrived, blowing up and melting skin and muscle off. Of course, the beast would not lose itself with so much ease. Its form moved and a wave of mist rapidly fell upon the surrounding area, affecting the first nests from where the army had just fired and a certain road. Thankfully, the fog of Elimination only struck already evacuating areas, the preparations too thorough for that uncoordinated attack to hurt the army. It howled, enraged, the nearest trees being toppled by the waves of air its thrashing caused. Too high in the air to be attacked by more than long range weaponry, it should have been a battle of attrition where it would have run away had the need presented itself. 

“I can return by d…” And as the scent got worse Subaru dislodged the bastard sword. Untethered, he started his free fall. The enraged whale dived towards him, two clones appearing and flying towards the readied army due to the damage it had sustained to distract it while the real Whale devoured this insolent, hateful, rotten creature in front of it. Subaru closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of the blowing wind and rapid fall. Above, an open wide mouth filled with rows of fangs as sharp as his blade rushed to catch up to him, rapidly closing the distance and mere metres away. Before either the whale could feed or the ground stop his fall an earth dragon jumped and a pink haired maid catched him while her magic sped the three of them, dodging the slamming whale by half a metre and disobeying his direct orders.

The whale impacted, mouth first, into the ground, shaking the entire clearing and raising a storm of dust and fragments. They could not dodge the rain of rocks, dirt and mud, receiving countless bruises and a few cracked bones. The Whale roared again, trees falling again in the distance.

“Sir, I will prohibit you from doing that again.” Mumbled Ram, struggling to hold both reins and man through the waves of pain.

“You're saying that as if that hadn’t been fun.” Was his calm but energetic response, practised through hundreds of loops.

As if answering him the whale howled in pure, undeterred anger. Still crazed, it continued its single focused hunt at ground level, carving the ground apart in its mad swim towards her prey. The ground army, prepared for that eventuality, ignored both clones above and targeted the real enemy, injuring its sides, fins and the organs that spelled that damnable mist while the artillery kept the clones away.

Wilhelm, being allowed to go wild, was hacking, cutting and bruising the Whale’s head from above. Every hit of his strikes slammed the whale against the ground again, slowing her mightily.

“I can return by d…”

More thrashing. More howls. The army staggered back. The artillery missed. The fog reappeared, too weakened to be a problem. The beast sped up.

“Now…” Tensing his body. “My job has finally come.” And he jumped off Patrasche. ‘I just need to be faster. I just need to not give up. Patrasche won’t die.’

“Sir?!” Ram looked as he started his mad dash towards the tree. Patrasche, understanding his plan, growled but changed her aim towards the tree, dodging the speeding whale that bypassed both of them. “...If Roswaal-sama does not kill you I will do it myself!” Foolishly trusting Subaru, Ram started to prepare her body for the spells she would need to cut the tree.

…

With measured and well learnt steps, Subaru kept a minute separation between him and the whale. Had it not been impeded by the army that was constantly striking at it, Subaru would have already been food. Had Subaru not kept baiting it with its smell, the army would have already been purged. Had he not been such a small target that made the Whale slow down in every try to eat him, he would already be minced meat. Yet every piece on the board moved according to his will. Every position, situation and eventuality had been planned and accounted for. Now, the last wall between its extermination was his own weakness. 

His still damaged body lacked stamina. His injured legs were always on the brink of failing him. His lungs struggled to take pained breaths in. But Subaru kept running. ‘So this is the difference between sisters, huh? Rem’s continuous barrage of magic slowed the whale just enough for it to not catch up to us…’ He looked up to the tree. Damn it. The previous thirty loops had determined it would not be enough. This one was looking to become the thirty one. ‘...but what if…’ 

Subaru rejected the idea of replicating the exact move of the original loop and, instead of trying to pass by the tree, rushed straight at it. The soldiers that could afford to watched as the black haired man did his best to haste towards the tree, dodging reverberations, jumping over holes and dodging stone fragments as if he knew they were coming. His face, deep in thought as if he was playing chess.

‘...Close…enough…’ “Ram, change of plans! Do it in my direction!” ‘Erroneous thought. Not enough.’ “Minya!” Using those new shards as stepping stones, Subaru jumped into the air, dodging the bite of the whale that took as compensation half of his newly bought coat.

After half a second of delay, Ram closed her eyes and, together with the rest of the mages, carved the trunk of the tree with spells, weakening it and letting gravity do the work. A shadow darkened on top of both human and whale as the tree, weighing unknowable tonnes, plummeted towards both of them. Hitting the whale first, it slammed it against the ground and nailed it in place, awakening a storm of dust and rocks that knocked Subaru out, showering him in bruises and broken bones. The clones banished.

…

Subaru gasped, woken by the pained howls of the whale. At a mere half a metre of its enormous mouth, its red eyes were still glaring at him with shining hate. ‘...I was out for just a few seconds.’ He thought, fully trusting his internal clock. All around, darkness. He was under the tree, his body small enough to lay, and comfortably stand, in the destruction that would soon be the Whale’s forever bed. But the tree moved a bit upwards, propped up by the whale itself. The whale had managed to open his mouth.

Subaru dodged left, side from where the tongue came out. Now carried to its mouth, Subaru was crunched to death like so many times before.

…

Now knowing what to expect, Subaru rolled to the right, dodging its attack and scrambling to leave the shadow of the tree. His broken body, out of commission, dropped like a sack of tatos in front of the first person he met.

“-ir!”

“Wilhelm!” Subaru croaked. “It’s yours!” His world darkened.

…

Subaru gasped again. His hand grasped Felix’s uniform. “How many dead?!” His tone, mad, his eyes looking like the whale’s, never getting tired of repeating that forever question.

Startled, he almost dropped the man before muttering in a cracking voice, “Subaru-kyun?! Em…for now, only injuries!”

His grasp relaxed, he breathed out. Almost passing out thanks to the sudden relief, his blurry gaze looked around.

Ram, seated against a resting Patrasche, was glaring at him together with the dragon. “Sir, if you want to kill yourself there are better ways to go around it than making me do it.”

Subaru snickered at that. “Did it or did it not work?” Ignoring Felix, he struggled to stand. ‘Leg’s broken. Fuck me. Sloth’s going to be harder.’

“Sir! / Subaru!” Felix and Ram glared at each other. The healer won the initiative as Ram backed. “Subaru, you can’t just stand after that! At least let me finish my damn job!”

“You know how it is, Felix. Gotta go places.” 

“Where?!” At his exclamation, Subaru whispered something to him, making him frown. A terrifying glare forced him to nod.

After that he looked around, searching for Crusch. “Does anyone know where Wilhelm is?” His blurry, almost completely darkened vision was unable to see the approaching candidate.

“I can’t believe it, self proclaimed knight Subaru.” Arriving at him, her impenetrable gaze looked down at him. “Your arrogance may be sheer confidence in the end. A deathless subjugation of the White Whale.” She breathed out as she sheathed her weapon. “Had you told me your true aim I would have taken you for a madman.”

Subaru rolled his eyes, a tear of blood sliding down his forehead thanks to that movement. “As if you did not take me for such before.” His gaze went to the focused Felix, skillfully healing his injuries. “Now…about those soldiers I asked for…”

Crusch frowned. “Is it that dire of a situation?”

Subaru nodded. “I really need to get moving.” His gaze went to the downed Whale. “And I believe the news of this victory will propel you in the race towards the crown. Congratulations are in order.”

Crusch's smile had a taint of deviousness. “Such humility from the hero who brought down the whale. But you are right, congratulations are in order.”

“Just do not let it get to your he…What did you just say?” Subaru blinked, surprise breaking through his mask as he turned towards Crusch. Ram snickered at his expression, the panic of before slowly dying. He seemed alive and as dumb as always.

“I called you the hero who brought down the White Whale.” Her smile widened. “Our deal indeed relayed the glory of the hunt to my persona and so it is mine to distribute as I see fit.”

Subaru’s mouth hung open. “...me?”

Crusch laughed at that. “While our relationship may have gotten off on the wrong foot at the start, now I know what type of man you are. Your words at the palace ring truer. Despite your stated opinions, I would love to welcome you into my household, should you be willing.” Her gaze examined the cheering, alive and remembered soldiers. “The reward to this achievement will come either way, be willing or not.”

“I…” He swallowed and took a few seconds to recompose himself. He did not remember this at all! Not had he ever expected it either for how he had moved the pieces. “I am sorry, lady Karsten. I am bound to Lady Emilia. My apologies in advance for your defeat in the selection.”

Ram shook her head, a small smirk on her face.

Another small laugh. “Exactly as I had expected.” She softly patted his shoulder, the soft movement hurting but not showing on his face. “Tend to that pride, may it forever remain as mere confidence.” Her expression turned serious. “You will have the best of my men.”

“And my blade.” Wilhelm added, arriving too. Glaring at the injured boy, Wilhelm bowed. “I expect you to make use of this old man, Subaru-dono, as per our deal.” His eyes softened. “And I shall do my duty with utmost diligence. You allowed me to complete my…”

“You did it yourself, old man.” A solemn nod. “Congratulations to you too for a job well done. Be proud of your bond and may her memory rest well.”

A small smile. “...Thank you.”

Crusch returned the topic at hand. “There you go. You may take forty of our uninjured men.”

“That’s…double what I asked for.”

“Consider it a personal thanks from our men.” Crush stood taller, grateful to not have to send any missives to families that would not remember the dead.

Subaru scratched his head. “Damn, now I feel bad for wanting to ask you to watch over Ram-chi for a few hours.”

“Sir?” She forced herself to not grimace as she got off the floor, her steps too solid to not be faking them. “I am going with you. If what you told me was true, and it seems like you did not lie, Rem is in danger. I won’t stay behind.”

“Ram, you can’t even walk!” Getting off the floor, he pushed Felix away as he faced her, walking until he was a step away from her, clouding her vision.

“And you can, sir? I am going to g-” Her exhausted state did not notice a sorrowful Felix approach her behind and place his hand on the back of her neck. A quick spell and Ram fell asleep in Subaru’s arms.

His face turned apathetic. “I will repay you back for both favors. Now, let us move.” Passing Ram onto Felix so as to not collapse under her weight, he minded not his body as he moved towards the soldiers that were now his for a day.

Crusch stared for a few seconds at his back. “Wilhelm, could you remind me to never get on his bad side?”

The old warrior nodded before following suit.

……….

Chapter Text

(X̅V̅CDXCVIII)

“...Ricardo? What are you doing here? Has your job not ended?” As Crusch and the rest of the army retreated, he and his small group of men found themselves with the mercenary. “And who are them?” Subaru gestured with his chin towards the group of mercenaries behind the dogman.

“Half of the Iron Fangs, commander.” Ricardo smirked at him. “One of the halfs was sent to block off the road during the fight against the whale. We came for the real fight against the witch cult.” He gestured at himself. “And I am honestly too well rested after such an underwhelming fight so I want in, commander.”

Before Subaru could answer, his gaze noticed who was leading the newcomers. His frown and glare focused on a purple haired man. Julius, on the other hand, smiled politely.

“Just now are you joining us, Julius? Thanks for gracing us with your presence.” Felix interjected, trying to salvage the sudden coldness around them and stop an idiotic fight.

“Please, you will ruin my reputation.” The elegant finest of knights dismounted off his blue earth dragon and walked towards the two of them. “For I am not the man called Julius.” His smile grew a bit as he gazed at the sky, his tone ever prideful. “Perhaps I will go with Juli this time.”

“...fine.” Remembering his blabbering, Subaru cut him off. “Let’s get moving. We have a lot to do.”

“You heard the commander, let’s move it.” Ricardo joined in, gesturing at the mercenaries to join the force. 

Julius’s smile lessened at that. “You are our commander?”

Subaru pointed at the retreating convoy. “Exit’s right there.”

“I intended no disrespect by that.” His friendly smile returned in full force. “I am glad to see you are doing better than expected.” His gaze traced his new injuries. “How are you feeling?”

Half doubting the lack of hostility in Juli’s tone, Subaru shook his head. “...fine enough. What about you, how’s that nose?”

His smile cracked. “I did not mean that. I was not talking about our duel nor the damage to your honour but about the White Whale subjugation.” His gaze went back to Subaru’s face. “But I am glad those wounds are healing just fine.” His words, an offering of truce.

Subaru’s glare grew colder. “No thanks to you.” The white flag was burned and crushed. “Now, please, let us make haste.”

…

Seated in a circle around Subaru, they stilled themselves as Subaru started to walk back and forth in the middle. The silence lasted for a few minutes, their commander deeply thinking. “Now, the forces we shall be fighting will be the fingers of the Archbishop of Sloth. Particularly its fingers. Both the villagers and lady Emilia have been accounted for in this plan.” ‘This time the letter won’t be blank.’ “Our force should outnumber them yet I shall promise you all one thing.” Subaru turned to the warriors around, looking at each one for a few seconds. “You will come back alive.” ‘No matter how many loops it takes.’ 

Subaru was the one who immediately broke the solemn atmosphere. “Ten fingers stand and as long as they live Sloth will revive by possessing their bodies.” His prancing restarted. “You will ambush them in the locations I have drawn right…here.” He moved away from the ground. On it, another map of the surrounding area with their routes, enemies to fight, their power and armaments. Everything was detailed. A board was already set. An enormous explosion echoed far away. The soldiers paled, their attention not able to be diverted from the man in front exuding a killing intent as great as Wilhelm in his prime. 

And, as sudden as it came it vanished, as if it had been a mirage. “...My apologies. Now, we have a few extra hours of preparation as I, too, have dealt with the cultists that had infiltrated via the merchant carriages. The firestones they had wanted to use have been directed at a better target. Only a finger remains infiltrated…there.” He pointed with his foot at a particular carriage.

Subaru looked up at the men. “Now, divide and conquer. You lot will deal with the cultists and fingers at the same time. I will deal with Sloth itself.” A wave of murmurs. Julius raised his voice.

“My apologies, commander, but I doubt you will be able to…”

“The exit’s still there. Either follow my orders or leave.” Unrelenting gaze, his fingers tapping at his side. For a piece to move by itself was more dangerous than to not have it. What’s more, the more seconds passed, the longer Reinhard and Greed’s battle would be. Haste was an obligation. “Now…” His finger started to point at the men who would die, breaking their cursed destiny by having taken in their deaths and substituted them by his own. Once he was finished he grabbed a bottle of oil from one of the merchants together with some flint and steel. “Let’s get moving.” 

Subaru turned to Otto. “I will use the rest later.”

The merchant bowed. “I will still ask for a payment, sir commander.”

…

A small group of cultists kneeled at Subaru. Bypassing them, Subaru did not return the gesture. “Take me to Sloth. I have important business.”

They bowed and quickly raised to their feet, rushing to lead the way of the archbishop. His steps took him to a giant cave opening. A glare broke through his apathetic face. Rem’s figure was in the air, twisted beyond recognition. He shook the ghost away. His eyes, slightly red in anger, no  matter how many loops he had seen the illusion.

“I have been waiting for you, believer in love.” The nasty voice of Sloth was as hateable as always, no matter how much he had listened to this same dialogue. His figure bowed theatrically. “I am a Sin Archbishop of the Witch’s Cult representing Sloth, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti! Tes-!”

Subaru bowed in turn. “Sin Archbishop representing Pride, Natsuki Subaru.” Petelgeuse raised their head just to see Subaru unsheath a bastard sword to point at him. “And you and I have quite a few pending rematches, Sloth. Thankfully, I can win however much I want to.”

“We need not to fight, beloved…”

Subaru rushed in, jumping over the shadow hands that had been hidden under him and had tried to take his legs off. ‘...That’s one. Now, three steps to the right…’ He dodged to the right and ducked over another two, the ones of before still following. ‘Now…hit two with the sword, lose the right arm to the third and duck over the fourth.’ His body followed the script he had lined out perfectly. Leaving a trail of blood, he managed to dodge these strikes. His sword dropped, staring as the only witness that would survive.

The battle has just started. A dozen behind him, fifty in front and rushing at him. The clock, ticking at his body. His bones and muscles wounded still, asked for a pause. Subaru’s smirk never stopped, the hands always at the same positions of always. Like another mirage, Subaru dodged, bent, ducked, and advanced, ever reaching towards those five metres. A battle of seconds for sloth, for Subaru was a month long conflict. But, no matter how much he knew his opponent, once he reached the five metres he was surrounded in hands. He would not make it like this.

As planned, Sloth’s concentration faltered a tenth of a second as all of their fingers died at the same time. His prey seemingly trapped and grievously wounded, they returned their attention to Pride too late to change the script. Pride dived in, taking dozens of life-threatening, slow killing wounds as it lunged through the containment of darkness, his dark eyes darker in intent. The shadow hands, startled like their soon to be past owner, fell short in speed, were ducked down, failed short of gravely injuring it and a few had not been readied to face that charge. “This can’t be!” Their eyes did not believe the sight in front. A normal human simply outperforming their love! As if their very own hundred of hands were refusing to strike at the wounded man! He wouldn’t, couldn’t, mustn't have dodged, weaved, broken all of that! Their confidence cracked and was crushed. “You…!”

The crappy kitchen knife he had recovered from the Whale hunt uncleanly cut their throat, blotting with blood whatever complaint they were going to lodge at Subaru and dispelling the hands, tainted in red, just short of reaching Subaru. His gaze was filled with coldness as the now corpse was toppled onto the ground. Twenty eight seconds to cover a distance of ten metres. Funny. It had felt like months. Throwing on it the bottle of oil, he lit a fire and the body started to burn.

Subaru looked at the cultists around. “Stand back.” And they did as such. And they kneeled again. The long lost Archbishop of Pride had returned at last. Its enormous miasma could not lie. It would lead them to victory.

Picking up and heating its sword on the fire, he cauterised his wound to slow its bleeding and treated it whatever way he could while he waited for the last part of his plan. “You grew too confident once you took my armed arm. Truly, a lack of diligence.” Muttered Subaru. That wound had allowed Petelgeuse to confidently divert his attention to the death of their fingers, distracting him too much.

“My brain…trembles!” Muttered Subaru again, his voice sounding as inhuman as ever.

…

Petelgeuse, in their robes and green skin, stood in a barren and empty wasteland that was but a neverending plain of rotted grass and dry dirt. Their eyes widened as they looked up. A monolith that, in its ever reaching towards the sky, had pierced the heavens above. Its dimensions were unknown as it towered over them, too enormous to even conceptualise. Wide as a city itself, it housed all that Pride was. Thousands of millions of years of repressed memories and emotions that were too big to swallow even for a spirit. Hundreds of thousands of timelines, billions of petabytes of lived information that could no longer be remembered but had been ingrained in its soul.

As if it had eyes, its attention appeared to turn towards Petelgeuse. Its will rained on them, sending them to their knees. It was the soul of the Sin Archbishop of Pride, an all encompassing construct of will and determination grown in the tiniest, most densest foundation ever known. All of its personality, character, will, drive, past personal experiences and emotions, everything that it had deemed irrelevant to its goals, had been shred to leave space, to create the densest house built for but a single promise. A filtered sentence that gave meaning to the armageddon that was the Sin Archbishop of Pride’s soul. One Petelgeuse was neither invited to nor involved in its making. One they were but an outside to be crushed for its goals.

The construct hummed, the sound increasing to levels that would have shattered glass. ‘Protect them and make them happy.’ There was no room for their soul in the mind of Pride, and so they were ejected with that singular roar together with some of its knowledge that was accidentally radiated onto them.

…

“This…cannot be…” The gaze of the burning corpse raised to Subaru’s. Behind, the illusion of that dreadful construct was still in Petelgeuse’s mind.

“That’s it? You give up after a singular round? Where’s your diligence?”

“Slothful, slothful, slothful, slothful, slothful, slothful, slothful, I am so slothful!” Petelgeuse trembled, hands clenching their burning head as they rolled around and started to hit their head against the ground. “Diligence? Diligence?! Diligence?!?! Diligence?!?!?! Everything I have ever done pales, is nothingness, is a pittance, does not exist, is not there, meaningless, meaningless, meaningless, meaningless, meaningless!!” Their back cracked, their legs kicked the floor, his arms punched it, pieces of skin falling off. But they never stopped their headbutts against the dirt below. “Why, why, why, why? I do not know, comprehend, care, understand, want the meaning of diligence! Madness, madness, madness, madness!”

“Are you done?”

Petelgeuse froze. Their shaky head turned around only to notice that Subaru was there. Standing. Glaring. Dying. They had seen it. The hundreds of deaths just to arrive at this conclusion only to restart after winning, time and time again. To place the board in this very same state, in this very position, in this very loop. There was no winning, no draw, no possible victory. Pride would just try again. It would never stop. It would never waver. It was as unmoving in its single minded purpose as the Sun above. It would be like fighting against the waves, the moon, the wind and gravity. A natural phenomenon, a disaster. It should have been pure, plain, sheer, breathtaking arrogance from a simple, mostly magicless, useless mortal. And only that. Yet he made the world kneel to him. Destiny was his to forge, to pave, to construct. Pride was Providence. And Petelgeuse had just learned that there was no space in the future for them. Pride had decided and so it would be done. And, today, their present had ended.

“Mo…monster…no…get a-get away!!” Screaming in fear, Petelgeuse crawled forward, pushing against his broken and burning body, burnt fingers and carbonised pieces being left behind during his desperate, weak, useless crawl.

Subaru slowly followed him.

“No…no…please, no…Our diligence! We were…we tried…we…we…we…we!” They stopped away, muscles and tendons too burnt to continue.

“You truly were slothful.” Subaru stepped on their right leg. It broke under his foot, now just embers and ashes. Next was their right arm. Petelgeuse refused to look at pride, shivering and staring at the ground. “Huh…this is…” Subaru tilted his head as he watched as the corpse was reduced to ashes. Its burning spirit, still in a panic, flew upwards, ever upwards and away. “...I am enjoying this again.” That last hurra lasted very little. It was fully consumed in Providence and dropped down.

And the authority came down with it. Petelgeuse's voice resounded again in his mind. ‘Ooooh…So very slothful!! To kill your personality so that you do not have to carry its weight nor have to work on it! To sculpt a pedestal for your loved ones so you may never have to face what they mean to you, so that you may never be hurt by them! To destroy what you could be as to not have to deal with the fear of not achieving it, of working on yourself, of bettering your own person! An ocean of self-serving excuses! An endless void of stagnation! A soul that has given up and willingly embraced a purpose it knows to be incapable of achieving but is unwilling to face it! My brain treeeeeembles!!!’

Subaru blinked, realising he had fallen to his knees. Breathing in, he invoked the authority of sloth. With too much ease, a dozen hands appeared from his back ready to follow his will. And follow it they did, squashing the heart of the surrounding cultists with no hesitation. They died happy. The nausea was too manageable. He had an almost perfect compatibility. ‘So be it. I shall accept it, it serves my purpose…So slothful, another excuse. And so very quickly!’ He shook the last remains of that voice away. He was on the clock and it was ever ticking. 

Using the hands to raise himself up, one of them grabbed his cut off arm and carried it to his healthy one. “I need to get this healed.” The sound of moving bushes turned his attention back to possible dangers.

“Subaru-dono, we are done.” Wilhelm’s body language turned panicked as he saw what state the black haired man was in. Turning around, he bellowed, “Felix-dono!”

Having expected such, the catman rushed in. Tending to his shoulder first, he reconnected the arm. Next were the hundreds of closest calls to Petelgeuse’s dance. Finally, the leg that had caved in due to the effort. “...had we had any serious wounds I would not have had the mana to heal you again, commander.” Felix looked around to the eerily silent clearing and cave. He shuddered, doubt crawling back into his mind. This…thing, it had killed Sloth. A normal, weak, gate broken human. Impossible.

Subaru, face pale, looked to the very far sounds of a new, legendary fight.

Wilhelm, checking the bodies around, asked. “What happened here? They are woundless.”

“Sloth’s authority killed them.” He breathed in, testing his pained leg. His vision a bit red, he was on the brink of passing out from pain. “Any dead?”

“...not a single one, Subaru-dono.”

Subaru let out a content sigh. Before he could add something, Julius interjected. 

“Who are you?” ‘Huh…that’s new dialogue…’ Sword ready, his spirits fluttered around. “While we may not have known each other at all, my suspicions have proven correct. Something overtook you during the planning. There’s no other justification for my spirits being this horrified at you. Has sloth overtaken you?”

The increasing number of soldiers arriving turned to Subaru, together with Wilhelm and Felix. 

Subaru frowned. “Are we really playing that game now? The exit’s…” As he turned to Julius he finally saw his reflection on his determined eyes. “Oh…It appears I have yet to calm down. My apologies for that.”

His thoughtless words sounded to them as maddened as Sloth’s. And they sealed his fate. Both Wilhelm and Felix got into combat stances. Julius moved first. “Al-Clarista.”

Subaru was disintegrated.

…

“Who are you?”

Subaru internally growled at those three words. It had taken him twenty extra damn loops to reach this point again. ‘...You are truly hellbent on being a damn nuisance forever, you jackass. I even had to waste ten fucking loops sleeping.’

“While we may not have known each other at all, my suspicions have proven correct. Something overtook you during the planning. There’s no other justification for my spirits being this horrified at you. Has sloth overtaken you?”

Subaru sighed. “I really did not want to reveal this but I can be said to have been cursed by the Witch of Envy.” His tone turned saddened but matter of factly. “Since I was born, I believe. The closer I am to danger and the greater it is, the stronger the stench becomes.”

Felix frowned. “That’s… horrible. I…I didn’t… My apologies.” ‘Then…that gate? Crusch is not here either so I can’t take his words as fact…He…he must be lying. And, really, an ‘I believe’?’

Subaru shrugged. “I keep it a secret not because it’s something that haunts me but because it breeds distrust.” He lowered his gaze. “...as it just did.”

Julius backed a step as if the words Subaru had spoken had hit him like a warhammer. “I…I didn’t…I could’t…” His previous distrust had turned into an irreparable sin. Twice he had insulted the man in front of him for no other reason than looks and feels. But doubt remained. How could a powerless human simply beat an Archbishop? He had fought with the man and he was nothing special. Julius’ regret started to wilt away. Suspicion started to bloom again.

Subaru shook his head. “I do not blame you, Juli, really.” He breathed in. “Now, I have a personal favour to ask…Go entertain Ram-chi, alright? I fear she won’t stay put.”

The men looked at each other. Not fully convinced but feeling a bit awful at having doubted Subaru at this point in time, they quickly agreed to the small looking favour and decided to simply question him later. What’s more, it was a small favour born out of worry. It could not be that hard after they had bested an archbishop and a great mabeast.

…

Regulus Corneas had His hands on His pockets as He advanced towards where the whale should be. His feet kicked whatever rock He found as He walked, His authority propelling it as death incarnate for whatever its frozen inertia happened to hit. The gospel was surely devoid of any compassion, making such a humble soul as Himself leave His lovely wives, stopping the collective enjoyment He had created for His very tiny kingdom in which no rights were inflicted upon.

Next to Him was Lye Batenkaitos. his brisk pace was almost making Him hurry along, another insult that His great yet humble heart let go. his mutterings were getting to Him but, as the bigger yet very small person, He was paying no mind to it. “I will eat, I will devour, I will chew, I will bite, I will gorge!” As if he was singing a song, the spring in his steps was shamefully evident to Regulus.

The next challenge He faced was the slowly banishing mist. Really, this low visibility complicated His civic duty of kicking small rocks to clean the road for future citizens. Oh, to still try even in these conditions. His virtues had no end. But, during one of those kicks, He splashed some ashes that tore through the forest in a too wide area.

As His companion turned to Him, he ‘tsk’ed at Him before his right foot pressed a particular point in the road. It was as unremarkable as everywhere else, having had enough time for the vegetation to regrow around it and its tiny anomalies further hidden away by the mist.

An enormous explosion shrouded the surroundings in both light, fire, dust and darkness. Regulus fell downwards into the crater, His authority protecting Him from the roar of the explosion, the shrapnel, the energies of the former and from the small fall. Waving His hand around He dispersed the cloud of dust around, revealing a burning forest and countless toppled trees.

There was nothing left of Lye Batenkaitos inside the thirty metre long and five metre deep crater. Of course, destiny always brought Him the gravest of offenses. Now He would have to complete the job alone. Truly, the greatest, most innocent and only victim in the entire world.

A cold voice shook Him from His contemplations.

“I have been trusted with your elimination by a dear friend.” Came the Sword Saint’s words. “I plan to make good on that promise.” Reinhard made a small nod, choosing to follow Subaru’s instructions and leave the Archbishop no respite. “Sword Saint, Reinhard van Astrea.” he flashed out of view, interrupting Regulus’ words before He could utter any.

Regulus frowned, the Sword Saint’s steps too silent to be heard as he arrived behind Him. A sheathed sword hit the ground below Him, destroying His footholds and launching Him a bit into the air. Regulus, fearful of the dirt dirtying His clothes, reactivated his barrier and gravity stopped working for him. Reinhard flashed again, now under him as he was standing on the lower part of the crater, and jumped at him. his inertia was cancelled, causing him to simply hug the Archbishop while his left hand toyed with a rope.

“Who are you to step all over my rights and wantonly touch me!” Enraged by both His harder mission and the Sword Saint all over Him, He punched him on the chest, blowing a hole through it. Not done with that, Regulus palm striked him with the other just above Reinhard’s chest hole, cancelling gravity and air resistance on all that Reinhard was and was touching so as to also push his blood away and not get stained.

That included the rope tying them two together and, by extension, Regulus’s defenses and Himself. His arrogance cancelled His own defenses, throwing them two towards the Moon at too fast a speed. Realising His mis, no, his intentional virtue to grant the Sword Saint a proper funeral, He went to cancel the Authority’s power only for Reinhard to burst into phoenix fire and literally revive himself.

“...You!” Regulus frowned. To the Moon it would be. he would not be able to survive that or, if he did, he would remain there forever.

…

Subaru panted loudly as he traversed the forest, his shadow hands propelling him through the air to the point of puking every once in a while. Having mentally slept had done nothing for his tired body but had been a start. Right now he was moving in the north east direction, the last cardinal point he could explore before having to move to degrees and angles. Really, repeating Sloth’s fight, while reinvigorating, was getting old very quickly. 

As he flew through the trees thanks to Sloth’s authority, his eyes scanned the surroundings, searching for whatever building, clearing, camp or whatever! After a long while in which he spent his body’s energy to its fullest, he turned to the sun. Too late. He unsheathed his sword. He could only pray that the distance he could traverse would be enough or he would have to repeat this routine for a very long time.

… 

15º. 30º. 60º. 75º. 105º. 120º. Finally, 150º had been it. The ruins of a dilapidated mansion were rotting again a long lost part of the forest. Rushing inside, he noticed fifty two wives inside. The bastard had grouped them all together. In his haste to help Reinhard, he forced his body to create fifty two hands. As they materialised his heart skipped a beat. His lungs contracted. His insides collapsed as he started to vomit blood. “...really…why did I…” ‘...rush this shit…’ At least it was a good test.

Next loop Subaru would purge their hearts fifths by fifths.

…

Regulus sighed, still “falling” from the blackest sky He had ever seen. The Sword Saint, jumping from the moon, was catching up to Him. Really, why did the world punish Him to fight such a monster. He also had no air to throw, no nothing. It had not been His most thought out idea. Just when He was opening his mouth to try and put some sense into the Sword Saint his heart contracted. All the air was rapidly spelled from his lungs as his temporal barrier failed him. The liquid in his eyes started to boil due to the non-existent pressure. Soon enough, and before he could reactivate his power, his vision had started to worsen. Panic set in as he realised in how much of a problem he was and he reactivated his power without properly resting, causing another wave of mindnumbing pain.

Still sailing through space, the five seconds limit came painfully close. Having closed both mouth and nose to try and hold his breath this time, the results were even worse for him, as his lungs ruptured due to the sudden difference in pressure. Coughing due to the pain, that exhale proved fatal as he lost conscience due to lack of oxygen before he could reactivate his power. Blood started to boil and evaporate as it left the ruptured lungs by his open mouth.

Like his namesake, Regulus was turned into a star, if a shooting star. His body burnt away during reentry.

…

Falling to his knees, Subaru puked. His stomach, still partially injured, mixed some blood into the bile. “...Regulus…should be dead…You may go to Roswaal’s domain.” As he hyperventilated in front of the still unmoving women, another foreign authority entered his body. Greed and, without being devoured by Echidna, quickly corrupted his insides. Blinking a few times, he struggled to stop seeing two images at the same time. One the real world, the other a blue screen with countless…no, fifty two points. They were blue. ‘...Experimentation will be required.’

One of the wives, Sylphy, moved forward as to represent them. “Sir, you should run away. Husband-sama is undefeatabl…”

Subaru passed out for a few seconds, missing half of the sentence. “Do…not…believe me? Then…how could I even be here?”

Sylphy blinked away the reviving hope of his words being true. “That’s impossible, sir. We will just be punished.”

“Then…how…about I crash here…for a bit?...Just…don’t run away…someone amazing will come.” Saying that, Subaru let himself fall to the ground. Not having the slightest energy to even move his position so that he was not on top of his recently reattached arm, he simply closed his eyes. ‘Reinhard’s got it. I can rest.’

…

Wilhelm, Julius and Felix were deeply regretting having agreed to this, at the beginning, small looking favour. Ram, undeterred by five grown soldiers, was pushing, punching and throwing them to the sides even as her forehead was covered in blood. “Where is Subaru?!” She roared, three of the knights choosing to just run away and jump off the carriage, not minding its speed. “I am killing that demonic backstabber and I am going to enjoy it!!”

“La-Lady Ram, you should calm your…” The bravest of knights’ reward was a punch straight to the face gifted by the Oni Goddess herself. Their body fell exactly like Flugel’s tree and slammed against the wooden floor of the carriage. Julius backed away, not willing to risk the Finest of knights to the oni too.

“How much until we reach that damned mansion!?” Screamed Felix, jumping from knight to knight as he healed. ‘This is worse than the fucking whale!’

Ram cackled maniacly before continuing her rant. “I will tear him limb from limb! How dare he put Rem’s safety in his filthy, scheming hands?!” 

Wilhelm, despite his training, struggled to dodge all of her close quarters moves. A feint and his stomach received the biggest hook he had ever tanked, courtesy of Roswaal’s chosen. The Sword Demon retreated a few steps, doubtful of being able to contain the enraged oni without hurting her. Thankfully, Ram’s body’s limits had long been crossed. 

She staggered. “Not so soon…” And fell head first to the floor.

Everyone in the carriage silenced themselves, fearing that the smallest uttering could wake up the oni. That infantile wish did not last for both Felix and Wilhelm.

“Felix-dono…!”

“On it!” Throwing himself next to Ram, he started the treatment. As he did, a note fell from her uniform, written in perfect but impersonal calligraphy. It held the instructions that only a very skilled healing mage could understand for the mana transfer for Ram. “...” Felix, once having healed her physical injuries, started the second procedure. 

Wilhelm, stance still ready, stared at the sleeping Ram. His hand went to his bruised stomach. Yes. This was a favour he would demand payment for. While he slowly recovered his breath, another knight rushed in.

“We got word from the Sword Saint! He intercepted both the Archbishop of Gluttony and Greed and bested them with the help of Knight Subaru!” His small respite was only in preparation for Wilhelm to be struck again with a blow to his mind this time.

He waited for a few seconds so that his voice did not tremble. “...may you repeat that?” Julius blinked, unsure if he had been bested by the oni and was hallucinating.

The knight, still heaving, nodded, a growing smile visible under the helmet. “The Archbishops of Greed and Gluttony have been slain!” Their excited voice resounded in the forest. All conscious knights jumped to their feet and cheered, another, happier, cacophony started in the carriage.

Wilhelm backed a step. ‘In a day...in a day two young men have done what the kingdom was unable to for decades. Four calamities have been stopped in a single evening...Preposterous…’

“Subaru-kyun did that, huh?” Felix’s tone was three degrees too calm. He chuckled a bit. “So he is half dead in a ditch, is that it?! Do I have to go heal him for the fourth time?!”

Wilhelm would have loved to jump in the defense of the young man but knew that he would be joining a losing battle. “Let us hope that…the Sword Saint has him.” He looked backwards, his mind shuffling his options. “This changes things. Let us stop at lord Roswaal’s mansion.”

“Yeah, I agree.” Julius nodded. This changed things. His lady would kill him if he did not get all the information about this series of events.

“Do you too, Felix-dono?”

“Yes. I want to team up with lady Ram here and punch that bastard.”

“...could I ask you to reconsider?”

“No.”

……

Back in Roswaal’s mansion, Emilia waited by the door for more news. Already past fifteen, Puck was long gone. The fight around the village had been over fast and both of them had decided to return to the mansion to protect it as they had met Crusch’s soldiers and, having been updated on the circumstances, they had believed them to be trustworthy enough. Rem, next to her, was the first to notice movement. A group of around fifty people were marching towards the mansion.

“They are here again!” Smelling a too great stench, an enraged Rem had pulled her chains before Emilia tried to force her arm down.

“No, that’s Reinhard!” Jumping into movement, Emilia rushed towards the group, followed closely by a still on guard Rem. Their budding relief was shattered as soon as they saw who Reinhard was holding in a princess carry.

“Subaru! / Subaru-kun!”

“Lady Emilia, I apologise for my lack of manners but he needs treatment post haste!” Reinhard, moving at triple their speed with double their balance, rushed to their side.

Emilia froze, seeing his horrible state. Her gaze moved first to Puck’s gem and, later, Rem. “Ah…”

Rem took the lead. “We need Beatrice’s help.” Testing her synesthesia, she reaffirmed to herself that Ram was still fine. “Inside the mansion, test the doors…” Reinhard rushed ahead. Rem turned to Emilia. “Can you deal with…the group of women?” Her words more an order than anything else, Rem ignored her confusion at the slowly brightening group that had arrived together with Reinhard and followed the Sword Saint.

“I will try to explain all that has happened.” Sylphy, moving forward, cementing herself as the leader of their very diverse group. Her gaze moved as the two of them left the mansion. “...good luck with the treatment.”

…

Reinhard rushed through the mansion, opening door after door. After the fifteenth, he located the Forbidden Library and rushed inside. “Great Spirit, forgive my…!”

Beatrice waved a hand, moving the rapidly slowing down bookshelves and leaving ample empty space in front of her. “What has happened, in fact?”

“I believe his wounds come from the White Whale subjugation.” Reinhard, standing next to both of them, struggled to keep the worry out of his face.

Beatrice nodded. “You will have to leave Betty alone. I shall be enough for this task, I suppose.” Her piercing stare relaxed a bit. “He has already been treated twice, it seems, making him look more injured than what he is, in fact. Simple exhaustion may have been what knocked him out.”

Reinhard let out a relieved sigh. Still, after hesitating a few seconds, he finally nodded, “I shall follow your instructions, Great Spirit. If I may be so brash as to ask of you something, Great Spirit, may you warn me when he awakes? We have plenty to discuss.”

Beatrice, still on her stool, turned to Reinhard. “Bold of you to simply beg from Betty without offering a payment, Sword Saint. But I shall oblige your request, I suppose, if only for the fact that you carried him here.”

Reinhard bowed, this time deeper, and retreated from the room, allowing Beatrice to use her full might to heal the boy.

Softly closing the door, Reinhard sighed. He did not allow himself the relief of rolling his shoulders nor stretching as he turned around to find a waiting Rem. 

Curtsying, Rem’s tone and disposition was the definition of how a maid should act. “Sword Saint, my apologies for our lack of proper reception or preparations. Your visit, while sudden and unannounced, is greatly welcomed in times such as these.” Her gaze, forced empty, turned to him. “May you be able to share what has brought you here?”

Reinhard’s gaze flickered to the library.

“So you were enlisted to help us by Lady Emilia’s knight? We are grateful for your assistance. Does that mean that the threat almost upon us has been dealt with?”

Reinhard’s face furrowed just the tiniest bit. Had there been more threats other than Gluttony and Greed? And had he not told them anything? 

“So you were also told partial information? That is a most disrespectful action from our knight, my sincerest apologies.” Rem bowed apologetically, her expressionless face a perfect mask for the storm behind. “Yet, that fact brings the need to compare what we know to each other so that responsibility may be shared accordingly, right?”

Reinhard opened his mouth while his body shuffled a tiny bit.

Rem interrupted him before he could get a word out. “My sister is outside, Sword Saint, and my concern can’t be described with words. If you could say anything, please.” Rem bowed deeper, almost begging the red haired man.

Reinhard’s gaze was softened by pity and worry. “I do not have the information you seek of me, miss Rem, right? My…Knight Subaru asked me for help with dealing with the Archbishop of Greed and Gluttony next to what seemed to be the subjugation of the White Whale. I arrived after Subaru’s trap had been triggered, subjugating Gluttony. Then I engaged Greed until he shot us both towards the Moon.” Rem’s mask cracked, incredulity and awe showing through. “My Divine Protections allowed one such as me to follow the retreating Archbishop but, in the midst of our duel, he seemed to lose control over his Authority and the Sky Above proved too much for him.”

“...on the moon? You were thrown to the moon?” Rem raised a hand and pointed it to the ceiling. “That moon?”

Reinhard nodded in the same way one nods when asked to confirm if they wanted only two loaves of bread.

Rem blinked, her mask struggling to contain the emotions. “...yet, where did Subaru go to receive such injuries?”

Doubt creeped on Reinhard too. “I…don’t know, miss Rem. He should have gone to save Regulus’ wives and free them from his authority, a task he seemingly accomplished, despite the method he used to do it is currently evading my understanding. From where did that, frankly, horrible scar in his shoulder come from, I am as uninformed as anyone.” His feet shuffled again. Having carried Subaru here, he was the one who had seen most of the scars and not one made sense. His body seemed to have been carved up by human-like hands.

Rem’s eyes flickered to the right. Rem bowed deeply. “Nevertheless, congratulations are in place, for you have vanquished two horrible creatures from existence. So…” She cut her words as she saw Reinhard’s doubtful expression.

“I believe you are misplacing the glory, miss Rem. The one who came with both my and his battleplan was knight Subaru himself. My job was to simply entertain Greed for a few hours. I was also warned of how his attacks worked, how he moved and how his personality made him operate.” Reinhard let a small smile be formed on his face. “If I may explain with a metaphor, I was merely a pawn on my friend’s board.” He shook his head as he added a last thing. “He had even accounted for Greed’s fury causing him to throw me towards the moon, letting me use a rope to make him follow behind me. While tied, when he pushed me his authority seemed to affect both the rope and, by extension, him. Regrettably, the tool was burning upon reentry.”

Rem frowned. That’s…how would he know those things? How much time had he spent fighting the Witch Cult? Or… She shook her head, trying to dispel the darker, more probable thought.

Reinhard stood straighter at that. “Miss Rem, if I may speak my mind, I also have my suspicions about my friend. But I don’t doubt nor distrust him,” His expression saddened a bit. “Even if he seems to not reciprocate. The only thing we can do for now is to wait and ask him.”

“Sword Saint, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, what reason would he have to not simply lie his way out of his situation like he always does?”

Reinhard smiled brightly. “Because I will be asking him directly, of course.” His gaze’s softness was shared by his voice. “I do not believe he lies for personal gain but out of fear of being rejected. After all, had he shared everything from the beginning even I would have doubted him. Yet I will choose to believe in his earnestness.”

Rem blinked a few times. Bowing another time, she dodged the topic, “There seems to be newcomers to the mansion. I shall do my duties and receive them.”

…

Wilhelm sighed contently as they travelled through the village. While a big portion had been evacuated, the non damage that this small town had taken was a thing he could take pride in. Still, as they got closer to the mansion, he blinked twice. From his position driving the carriage he saw the big group of women in front of the mansion. Seemingly highly organised, most of them were whispering to each other while the least of them were relying on the woman in front to share their concerns and demands to lady Emilia.

Some of the women turned to the carriage and soon the entire group was facing them. Emilia advanced forward a few steps, ready to shield them. The carriage stopped and all of that alertness turned into a memory as Ram jumped out of the carriage.

“Ram!” Emilia ran towards her. Her speed reduced drastically as Felix and Julius jumped behind her. “...oh?”

“Lady Emilia.” Ram was the first one to bow. Julius joined in with her right hand on his chest and Felix was last, tiredness making the gesture a bit janky. “I have arrived. Is the mansion as it should be?”

“Ye-yes, everyone’s alright!” Her startled expression darkened. “Well…Subaru’s hurt, again. Beatrice is…”

“I knew it!!” Felix roared.

While Julius, Wilhelm and Emilia jumped and turned their attention on the catman, Ram muttered. “I see.” Her voice turned loud enough to be heard. “I have seen that the village is safe and sound, even if some villagers evacuated.” Her made calm gaze turned to the women behind Emilia. “...those are…?”

“Regulus’ wives! Oh, I mean, Archbishop of Greed’s wives.” Emilia’s gaze flew between them and the women in quick succession. “They were victims of the Archbishop.”

Taking that as an invitation into the conversation, Sylphy moved forward and bowed. “Esteemed guests, we were in the midst of discussing our future living conditions so pardon us from not properly greeting you. The man you call Subaru promised us a home in this village and Lady Emilia accepted. As new citizens of the kingdom, we all hail its honourable knights.” The women behind bowed in perfect coordination forged by years of forced practice.

Julius, impressed by their coordination, returned the gesture. “I shall both welcome you back and beg you to forgive our incapacity in freeing you before.”

Wilhelm’s expression, made out of steel, softened once his unconsciousness understood that the tyrant had been felled.

Felix looked away, feeling undeserving of the praise and expectations from people his order had failed to help.

Ram, fairly uncaring to the now free women, searched for her sister, her eyes trailing windows and doors while their connection told her she was getting closer. As her gaze turned to the gate, Rem darted out of there. “Sister!”

Ram walked towards her. “Rem. I am back safely after singlehandedly defeating the White Whale, as it was expected from me.”

Rem threw herself on a worried hug, having noticed her fluctuating emotions through their connection and having almost ditched the mansion to come to her aid.

Ram hugged her back. The men behind looked away, knowing first hand what her rage would do.

Julius, coughing and acting as if he had seen nothing, turned to Emilia. “Lady Emilia, I shall apologise for our improper arrival but we have received vital news that need to be confirmed.”

Reinhard, also leaving the mansion, was the one who answered. Him not knowing why Julius was here was evident to all. “...If I may, Julius, I believe I can be the one to answer some of your doubts.” His gaze went to his grandfather and he froze. “Esteemed Grandfather?”

Wilhelm tensed up. “Greetings, Sword Saint. I am glad to see you in good health despite the circumstances.” Bowing slightly, Wilhelm kept his calm and collected expression. “I can see now how the Archbishops met their end.”

Reinhard reflected his movement, his previous determination now substituted by an ocean of uncertainty.

Wilhelm dispelled his doubts. “The White Whale has been slain by my hand.”  

Reinhard, after a few seconds, forced himself to smile brightly. “That’s great news, esteemed grandfather.” He frowned, now connecting the dots from where a few of Subaru’s healed wounds could have come from. “...truly, today has been a long day.” His expression locked itself into place, refusing to show how he felt about not having been told about the subjugation.

“So it is true.” Julius frowned. His body tensed up and he turned halfway to the mansion. “...I suppose Emilia’s knight is guarded by the Great Spirit of the Library?”

“Guarded?” Emilia tilted her head at the curious word choice. “Well, I guess he does get into a lot of trouble but he can take care of himself…At least, today has proven it…” She looked down, having been told nothing either.

Ram, on the other hand, was not that charitable to that word. Leaving Rem’s hug, she turned around and stood taller. In her mind a line had already been drawn and Rem catched up fast onto it, her alertness also spiking up. “Knight Julius, while his actions of both today and yesterday are highly questionable, I doubt there’s a need for either hostility or your mediation. This is strictly a matter of Lady Emilia’s camp. That is, a matter of a royal candidate.”

“That’s not how it works, miss Ram.” Felix, now besides Julius, interjected too. “He has had a lot of luck and both of his plans have worked perfectly. Not a single death. That’s at least a bit curious, isn’t it? We add to that the witch’s smell around him and it grows into shady. I believe an interrogation would be in order, shouldn’t it be?”

Wilhelm frowned. While he did not believe Subaru had ill intentions, his claim had no proof and so he chose to fall silent. His loyalty, still, did carry him to the left of Felix.

“Interrogation?!” At that word Emilia catched up in the conflict. “He has done nothing but help us and the kingdom! He deserves our thanks, not to treat him like a danger! I won’t stand by this injustice!” The maids moved closer to Emilia. Two different factions had just been formed after the cracking of their anti Witch Coalition of before.

A powerless Sylphy still moved behind Emilia together with the rest of the newly freed women. They had not been freed to just desert their unlikely saviour, no matter how fishy the situation looked.

Reinhard forced a loud cough, taking in their growing glares. “There’s no reason for this argument. Whatever grievances we may have should be taken to knight Subaru. To blow everything out of proportion out of sheer inferences is damaging to our standing as righteous knights.”

“Reinhard, you can’t be serious!” Felix stomped. “That man could be the missing Archbishop of Pride eliminating his competitors so that he may rule the cult alone and you want us to forget about it?!” Felix shook his head and spat, remembering his haunting duel with Julius. “His gate is an anomaly itself. It was damaged too cleanly, as if he had measured how much he could overextend before fully cracking it! I have nothing but valid doubts and you act like I simply hate the monster!” He paled a bit at the word that came out.

Reinhard frowned at that word, the wind around blowing up a tiny bit. Emilia’s face reddened and she looked away, fearing that her furious face would worsen the situation. Ram, less forgiving, raised a hand and Rem grabbed her chains.

Surprisingly, it was Julius who spoke first. “That was uncouth and unbecoming of you, Felix.” The catman backed at the enraged words, bowing his head. Julius, turning back to Emilia, bowed again. “I apologise on his behalf. It has been a very long day and our minds are at their limits.”

Ram scoffed. “For someone who beat our knight for a lesser insult you are being awfully forgiving, finest of knights.” The rest of Emilia’s camp calmed down slightly.

Julius grimaced. “...my greatest apologies for doubting your knight. The results of today and mine actions put another stain on my record.” He soundlessly swallowed but willed himself to continue through the minefield that had just been activated thanks to Felix. “But I think we deserve to hear Subaru’s explanations.”

Ram raised an eyebrow. “Is that so, finest of knights? Then we would be more than happy to grant you the chance to set up an official meeting between our camps.” Emilia nodded at that, happy that Ram was taking the initiative.

Julius tensed up at that. Should they be willing to intentionally dilly-dally, that could take months to come to be. Wilhelm answered in his place. “Miss Ram, this is less a matter between candidates and more of the kingdom’s. As knights, I believe both Felix and Julius-dono are incapable of backing off without damaging their honour.”

“That is truly a shame, sir Wilhelm. I shall offer our deepest condolences for the damages that may occur to their honour. Truly, I honestly apologise and beg for forgiveness.” Ram bowed, giving a meaningful glare to Emilia.

Gasping, she coughed a bit and interjected. “Is there anything more we need to discuss?”

Ram almost couldn’t stop herself from facepalming.

Julius, feeling like he needed to take advantage of that question, apologised in his mind to Emilia. “Indeed we have. I believe our cooperation with knight Subaru has yet to end as there are quite a lot of matters that have been left for after the fact, such as the reward for his efforts. Moreover, we are under his direct orders for twenty four hours, time yet to end, and we would like to ask what he desires so we may return to our duties if he chooses to null the rest of our duty. Taking into account that we all must be present in the capital’s celebrations, it is a matter of urgency to talk to him so that we may prepare accordingly.”

“Ah…” Emilia eyed a fuming Ram and lowered her head.

“I believe you may have misunderstood my words.” Reinhard added himself to the conversation again. “I have not said to diminish the issue but, instead of talking to each other and generating enmity between each other, to talk to Subaru himself once he recovers.”

Emilia nodded at what Reinhard said. “That’s right! We can simply ask him and he will tell us that he tried his best and had no bad intentions!”

Ram sighed, her breath carrying her fury. 

The knights and Wilhelm nodded, accepting the compromise. From the carriage, a new forced cough was unleashed.

“Hum, I did not mean to intrude on such an important discussion but I also have something to discuss with knight Subaru.” Otto, merchant and owner of the carriage they had come in, finally interjected.

“And who are you?!” Screamed Ram, done with the situation after yet another curveball was thrown her way.

“He bought up all of my oil?!?!” Otto backed away, raising his hands in surrender.

Ram growled, falling sort of tearing her hair.

…

Chapter Text

(X̅L̅V̅MMMCCCXXXII)

“I remember this ceiling.” Subaru blinked, his consciousness slowly returning. He was in the Forbidden Library. Taking accounting of the things he needed to deal with, he started with the immediate. ‘Everyone should be alive. The women should be easily settled into the half empty village. The archbishops are dead. The white whale’s corpse is on route to the capital…’ He frowned. ‘...Roswaal should be waiting in Sanctuary. The true challenge starts now. First things first, the three challenges. Emilia-tan needs to pass the three of them. At least in this loop her relationship with Ram and Rem is better so it should be a point of help. Garfiel…how to get him to overcome what happened with his mother? Saying that she is still alive would be dangerous to him…’

His frown deepened, his fingers started to tap on the ground. ‘Roswaal itself…he won’t take a loss lying down…He must have a trap for me to guarantee the Vow. The white rabbit too…I have no idea. Last time I forced it into an empty castle to fight it and managed to eliminate it wholly by using Emilia and Roswaal’s magic…Now, in Sanctuary…could we even evacuate? No, Roswaal won’t let me. And the pact with Echidna must not happen again so I need a new plan. Elsa and Meili…Can I still save them both if I want to make Emilia’s camp happy? Does Elsa even want to be saved?...Irrelevant questions, deal with the threat, philosophy comes after the main plan has been hatched.’

He shuffled his pained body, still laying on the floor. ‘Oh, right, the Witch of Greed. A new pact is irrelevant. I shall simply leave her to her schemes…Now…Otto…Mind’s empty on that front. Shove it aside for the next point.’ He rubbed his eyes, his mind running its hardest despite having just woken up.

“Is this how you always wake up, I suppose? I shall admit that your expressions are entertaining. You can keep doing them if you want to, in fact.” Beatrice, seated on a stool next to a table with a bottle of very old wine, was reading a book as if today was no different.

Slowly getting off the floor, Subaru threw that bottle a funny face. “You drink?”

Beatrice raised an eyebrow. “Betty is four hundred years old, in fact. I can do whatever I want.”

At that Subaru snickered, faking an impressed look. “Should I call you grandma then?” He looked around. The door of the library was surprisingly closed. His frown returned.

“I connected it to a door outside the mansion. No one will bother us for today as long as I will it.” Beatrice flipped a page. “Do sit, in fact.”

His confusion growing, Subaru did as she asked. Once he was on the table, the bottle opened by itself and poured two glasses, even if Beatrice made no movement towards hers. “...why…?”

“Why have I opened an invaluable bottle for a mere human is what you want to ask, I suppose?” Batrice flipped another page. “You promised that, should I invite you to a drink, you would answer a question, in fact.”

Subaru, looked at her before laughing loudly. After a few seconds, his body still jumping from it, he grabbed the glass. “Alright, Beako, we will play the drinking game. You ask me a question, I answer or drink.”

“You will answer honestly and you will answer one out of five questions with words.” Her words implemented two new rules.

“That’s no fun, Beako!” Taking a tiny sip from the glass, Subaru did not react to the high degree of alcohol. ‘With how much blood I have lost and how sharp she can be…this game has turned dangerous…The alcohol is strong too.’ His expression, still playful, did not reflect his growing tenseness. Before he could throw another quip, Beatrice asked.

“Why do you look so worried?” Her eyes appeared to be still on her book. Her full attention, on him

“Oh…” Subaru raised an eyebrow. Beatrice nodded. “Well, I am worried because of the alcohol. Having lost so much blood makes this game a bit iffy.” Another small laugh after tiptoing around the truth. “I trust you will stop me from falling?” ‘I really am in hot water…I needed a few days to plan what I am going to say to…to all of them. Hours maybe would have sufficed. But seconds? And, if I start looping too much, I will make Rem suspicious too. If Beako kicks me out now…’

Beatrice flipped a page. 

“He-hey! You will surely grab me, right?!”

Beatrice grabbed her glass and took a small sip.

“Time for my next question, I suppose.” Her gaze left her book as the thump of her glass on the table resounded as a nail being hammered in a casket. “What does the name of your spell, B.M.M., mean?”

Subaru’s mask froze intentionally. ‘Is it a safe question to answer? No, it would repulse her.’ Subaru took a sip. Bad call, the alcohol was too strong and two sips were already pushing it.

Beatrice shuffled on her seat. “Fine, I suppose. Next question. Why do you always sleep on the floor?”

Now Subaru’s surprise was not faked, Beatrice being able to see through his mask. “What…do you mean by…” ‘...She noticed?!’ Shaking his head, he took another sip. Nausea overtook him and he almost fell down from the chair.

“I see.” Beatrice fell silent, her eyes revealing nothing. Her fingers tapped the table. “Why do you always do this gesture, I suppose?”

Subaru tried to blink away the double images. ‘This question is dangerous. This game is dangerous for her feelings. I must loop.’ “El-Minya.”

Beatrice’s panicked expression turned into a bloodcurling scream that pierced through his mind as his body gave out. 

…

“I see.” Beatrice fell silent, her eyes revealing nothing. Her fingers tapped the table. “Why do you always do this gesture, I suppose?”

Starting to sweat, Subaru couldn’t bring himself to restart again. That scream would hunt him for a long, long time. He took another shot, the burnt unable to make him forget what he had just seen.

Beatrice’s expression morphed into a defeated one, a second stab. “You truly do not trust me, in fact.” Her whisper was almost an admission of defeat. An admission of disbelief, of betrayed expectations.

“I do!” Subaru raised his voice mostly to ground himself and stop the room from spinning. No amount of past experience drowning in alcohol would help his new, unused body.

“Subaru, I know you lied in the first question.” Her face looked down to her closed book. “You have never been one to care about what may happen to your body. You are never worried about being physically hurt, in fact.” Her eyes looked up to his face. “But you were worried about what you thought I would do. About what I would think. About what I would ask.” She breathed in. “I want an honest answer, in fact, and I have come to know you well enough to be able to see your tells. Lie and I will never leave this room again.” Seeing how he tensed up and started to visibly panic, she frowned. To threaten him would be useless but…to threaten others he seemed to care about…the only way to shake him. She kicked the pity away. She needed her answers before this man’s plan broke apart. If he had proved that he trusted her she would have helped. She would have let the topic go. She would have happily taken the lie.

“Beako! You can’t simply…!”

“Are you that person?”

Subaru paled. His mouth opened and closed like a fish. His fingers turned white from how strongly he was grabbing the edge of the table. His eyes, wet, started to rain singular teardrops. “I…I…I…” His body almost fainted, unable to bear such levels of excitement together with the heavy weight that was the alcohol. “Beako…you…you know what I am…I am simply Suba…” He choked up on that name. That was a lie. “I…I am the mask that is Natsuki Subaru. The one who fails too many times to count. Someone that wasn’t able to save you before.” His voice turned pleading, not wanting the end that he knew was coming. “I am just me. I…I just…”

Beatrice raised a hand, her expression even more defeated. “So you knew what I meant by that. How do you know Mother and how did you fail to save me?”

“Don’t make me tell you! I beg of you!”

“You heard me before, in fact. Answer or leave.” Her glare was now hateful. What was he? An artificial spirit? Impossible. A Witch Cultist? He was crazed enough yet he lacked wickedness…Of course, evil people always thought they were on the right but this was different. It felt like a calling, a life’s mission born out of past regrets. To them. To her. “Or would you prefer to answer what happened to the Witch Factors of the Archbishops you took?” She frowned as hope returned to Subaru’s eyes. “Nevermind, I will not accept an answer that lets you simply kick me away in its aftermath.” So Juice was dead… She stored that thought for later.

“I…I…” Subaru looked down to his hands. A few nails had broken and two fingers were bleeding. “I…I won’t answer!”

Beatrice’s eyes were still on him. Subaru looked down, to the side, behind.

“I can’t!” 

More silence.

“I…please…”

The Library answered him not. Seconds turned to minutes. ‘So this is the oppressive silence she always felt here…’ He lost his balance and slipped from his chair, falling with a heavy thud to the ground. No one had been there to stop his fall, all pushed away by his own actions. Beatrice breathed in, readying her Door Crossing to forever close Subaru away.

“I get it.” His voice turned toneless, a stable, emotionless cadence. He curled into a ball as he answered. “I can’t answer the first part due to a curse but I can answer the second. I failed to save you from your four centuries of solitude because I was unable to answer the question you wanted answered most of all. I couldn’t save you because a witch decided to lock you up for centuries in an empty library just to sate her curiosity. I could not bear to manipulate you like her, to switch your chains from a hand to another. I wanted you to be free so I couldn’t give you a white lie to switch the black lie she gave you with. You died because I was too weak. It was my fault.”

“What was the black lie, in fact?”

“That there was a That person. It was a sham. She asked that to see who you would choose. And the funniest part was that she found this result interesting itself. She enjoyed you not being able to break your solitude, to not choose anyone.”

“You are lying!” Her roar contrasted with his impersonal tone. The Library trembled upon the mana that, in her anger, she exuded. But, no matter how she lashed out, she was seeing it on his face. He had not.

“I’m sorry. I’m deeply sorry. But I…I need to make you happy.” Was his whisper. “Don’t kick me out again.”

“Yet you never told me.” The dam broke. Space started to bend. “I am not something to be made happy, and not by your dirty, untrusting, forever doubting hands. I am not your damsel nor a nice excuse you can give yourself to believe you tried. I am not a ghost of the past that you can atone to for your past mistakes. I am Beatrice, Subaru. And I thought you were the only one who knew that. But you are not truly here. Disappear. I do not want you here, in fact.” A wave of her hand and the passive man was kicked out of the room with no fanfare. A part of her hated that he did not even try to resist.

She dropped back on her stool. Alone. In what she knew was a prison. And, despite what she had learnt, she couldn’t even dare to break the contract and end her own life. She hugged her legs, her posture similar to Subaru’s.

…

Subaru flew through the door and crashed against the wall that they had repaired together, breaking it again. Not too big of an impact to leave him encased inside it, he fell to the ground. Two pairs of steps were heard as they rushed to the noise. Subaru shakily sat up, unsheathed his sword and cut his throat. Thankfully, this time there were no tearful faces in front.

…

Subaru flew through the door and crashed against the wall that they had repaired together, breaking it again. He stood up quicker this time. He refused to accept this checkpoint. He tried again. And again. And again. He quickly lost count.

…

Subaru flew through the door and crashed against the wall that they had repaired together, breaking it again. Falling onto the ground, Subaru did not get up. The steps finally catched up to him.

“Friend?!”

“Oh, Rein, sup, how are you all?” His happy yet awkward smile was perfect. His arm waved around. “Sorry for just…leaving the paperwork to you all and falling asleep. Did I leave you lot waiting for too long? My bad!” Subaru’s hand hit his head as he let out a tee-he.

Reinhard’s expression grew worse. ‘What am I doing wrong?’ Ram appeared behind Reinhard.

“Oh, Ram-chi? Sorry for the ‘Et tu, Subaru?’ moment! But I was right, see? Everything worked out!” His tone grew happier and less awkward as Subaru rapidly altered his reactions and body language to try and mitigate their worsening unhappiness. The fogginess in both eyes and mind was making it all mighty difficult. ‘What am I doing wrong?!’

Ram’s pitying gaze, with no trace of anger, stared at a Subaru with yet a new dislocated arm that he was dangling as if nothing was wrong, as if it pained him not. His face was covered in evergrowing tears as he had not stopped crying since he hit the wall. “Barusu…” Her sentence was cut off after the new nickname she had invented to pay him back for deserting her. Now, it felt like a joke. What could she say? He would be scaring her if he didn’t look completely defeated, his mask fully cracked.

Reinhard looked away. “I will tell the rest of your comrades that he needs a few more minutes.” And, footsteps as silent as if he was a ghost, Reinhard vanished.

Ram cautiously advanced forward.

“Rein! I am perfectly alright!” He turned to Ram. His eyes were dead. “Tell him, please, I can’t make you all waste even more time!”

Uncaring for appearances or her uniform, Ram sat on the ground in front of the tiny bit trembling Subaru. “Barusu…”

His body tightened at her nickname. Fear. No, it was not just any fear. It was the dread of someone who knew that they were going to die. Sheer horror at the worst possible thing that could happen to them. His cheeriness died. “Not you too, Ram…You can’t be unhappy too.”

A horrible feeling creeped up her spine. She dived forward just as Subaru opened his mouth. 

“El-M…” His spell was cut off by her hand. Mounting him, she had to lock his good arm to his side as it went straight for his weapon. Fearing his magic skill, Ram knocked him out.

“...so this is how you travel back in time? You return by death?” Ram tensed up. Looking down, she saw a shadow hand that had pierced her chest. A second had done the same for Subaru.

…

At his long silence, Ram shuffled on the stone ground. Not having the tact nor skill to dodge around the issue, Ram chose to tackle it directly. “What happened with Beatrice?”

Subaru kept silent. He had died again. The checkpoints were done for. The only thing he could do was limit his losses. ‘I have failed. This is all I have ever amounted to. I failed again even when I had limitless opportunities. I destroyed the original loop for a true happy ending and I couldn’t even reach it.’ 

Ram looked to the wall. “Was it similar to last time?”

‘What can I do now? Is this salvageable? Could resurrecting Echidna bring her happiness again? That would give Roswaal too much power. Emilia would also be needed for that. And, while it would make her happy, would it make her the happiest? Can the Witch be trusted to not betray Beako again?’

“Barusu.”

‘I will need to start resetting every half hour to finally get the hang of these loops. I should have started as I awoke. It wouldn’t have…I wouldn’t have doomed Beatrice if I had been more diligent. I will need to be better. I will need to do more. I have to. I must. I will. Beatrice…may be lost, not that I won’t stop trying, but the others are still…’

“Barusu!” A slap brought him out of his reverie.

“Oh…oh, I’m sorry Ram-chi, I was…” He faced the door again, he needed time, damnit!

A hand moved his head towards Ram. Her eyes seemed to be red. “You refuse to even face me, Barusu. And I think I now know why. You do not believe I can help you. I don’t think you even want my help. You never trusted me with what weighs on you, this moment makes it clear. I doubt you even appreciated me being there. I was an obstacle in your mission, maybe a goal. Maybe even the thing you wanted to accomplish with your looping was about me.” Her tone was artificially cold, as if hiding the cracks below. Now she understood why Roswaal had been so excited yet jittery around him, dodging him whenever possible. “And I have just realised you have never acknowledged me as Ram, as a person. In your mind I am something to save, to protect.”

Her voice grew stronger. “I am not that thing you made up in your delusions, Barusu! I am me. I am Ram. Not your Ram. Not a nebulous tomorrow. Not a piece on your board!” She paused after that small scream. She could not suppress a snuffle and got off the ground, her previous growing paranoia being proved right. “I thought we were friends, sir, despite your and mine betrayals. But it seems I now know better. You were never there to begin with nor was I ever there in your mind. Only the idea of what I am in your mind. The picture perfect Ram in the future you wanted for me.” She turned around. “And it turns out I was never invited, welcomed nor wanted there.”

Now Subaru’s eyes trailed Ram as she left, her posture perfect yet having forgotten to dust her uniform, now stained with the dirt of the floor. A new person had seen the emptiness behind the mask. A second person had been let down. He missed her last glance, filled with the betrayed hope of him stopping her. Another person had become unhappy thanks to him. ‘...really, why am I even here? Was it really pure pride that made me think I would build a happy ending for them? Can’t I even do that despite my knowledge?’

Seconds passed and he let his head slowly move to the ground. His good arm grabbed his bastard sword as a second thought and cut his throat. Not out of a vain hope he knew he didn’t deserve but out of a need to test his new fear.

…

“And it turns out I was never invited, welcomed nor wanted there.”

He really had not wanted to hear that a second time. The disappointment, the hurt, the defeat. He slammed his head against the ground. The pain, muted as always, helped him not. He had no emotions to shield himself in. No rage. No hate. Only emotional pain. He slammed his head again and again until he heard a crack.

…

“And it turns out I was never invited, welcomed nor wanted there.”

He screamed. He screamed until his vocal cords gave out, his throat sore. He screamed in rejection of this reality. Of how all his work, pain and deaths were but sand slipping through his fingers. Ram, startled, still chose to leave. It was only right. Nobody wanted to be Subaru. To be with Subaru. Nobody deserved that punishment. He would not relent.

“El-Minya.” He managed to cough out.

…

“And it turns out I was never invited, welcomed nor wanted there.”

Subaru’s dead eyes stared daggers at the wall in front. In the end, the only person he had truly defeated had been himself. He had destroyed all of his own efforts. ‘Now Ram is unhappy. I have failed again. Adding to that, if Ram is unhappy Rem will be too. Should I make Roswaal fall in love with her? Could I ever manage that?...Another dead end.’

A new pair of footsteps resounded and he raised his eyes again. Rem… He felt like screaming again.

Wordlessly, she kneeled next to him and got to work healing his arm.

“Rem-chi…” He was in an internal turmoil too big to change his mask. He noticed how his cheerful voice made Rem grimace but he could not adapt the play, edit the script. He lacked time. Yet he grabbed onto that illusion of control. He followed it like a Gospel. “Could you do me a big favour? Can you go check up on Ram?”

“I know my sister better than you, Subaru!” Hissed back Rem, still reeling from their synesthesia and his enormous miasma.

“Then why worry about me when she is unhappy! Ram is unhappy and it is my fault! I need to fix it and I need your help!”

“Not everything is about you!” Her scream overpowered him. She shook her head, breathing heavily and growing pale because of it. “I was an idiot, Subaru. I was an idiot for believing you really did care about us, about sister. You only ever cared about accomplishing your mission, about the regrets you hold closest to your chest. About the wall you cling on for your own safety, for protection against us.” His arm fully healed, she looked behind her and tried to get up. Subaru’s right hand clasped her maid uniform.

“It does not matter what you believe at this moment! Please, I beg of you! She can’t be unhappy because of me! I can’t fail her!” Subaru’s pleas were still in his cheerful voice, if a bit awkward, of before. He tried to make her stay, to pull her down. To stop her from going away before she accepted his plan.

Rem, honestly put off and feeling the need to puke as her stomach was greatly unsettled by both how Subaru was acting and his growing stench, kicked his hand away. “Subaru. She is hurt because of you, yes, but only you can fix it. She is unhappy because you do not trust her with who you are. Show to her, to us, as you are, not as this puppet playing make-believe.” Rem sighed and looked away from his face, the bright smile of before still there unnerving her to no end.

“I can’t!” Subaru’s voice cracked.

“And that is merely because you aren’t trying… No, because you do not want to try.”

“It’s because there’s nothing below.” Subaru’s mask cracked. His smile went away. His tone went robotic, slow, meticulous. His face was devoid of any feeling. “You lot have been awfully repetitive about showing myself when there’s nothing to show. Subaru Natsuki is a mask, a shadow, smoke and mirrors. What’s left is a purpose that I will accomplish. That’s my only value. I am a tool that will finally make something worthwhile. Something that is not broken. You will be saved, you will be alive and you will have a happy ending. But I need you to let me help!” 

Rem glared at him with hate masking the hurt and pity. “Is that so? Despite never having accepted nor wanted our help you believe you can do that? So be it, I reject your purpose.” Rem spat, also turning away. “I do not want the happy ending of someone who can’t even comprehend what it entails nor what it takes. You can’t make any of us happy because you do not know how to nor know what we truly want. You are wasting your life.”

That direct rejection to his life mission was too much. “El-Minya!” Rem’s surprised grimace was soon followed by a distressed scream that Subaru did not see nor hear, his body breaking down.

…

“You can’t make any of us happy because you do not know how to nor know what we want. You are wasting your life.”

…

“You can’t make any of us happy because you do not know how to nor know what we want. You are wasting your life.”

…

“You can’t make any of us happy because you do not know how to nor know what we want. You are wasting your life.”

…

“You can’t make any of us happy because you do not know how to nor know what we want. You are wasting your life.”

‘You have wasted your life. You have wasted your life.’ Subaru, truly exhausted, curled up in a fetal position. He wanted to die but he could not bear to hear those words again. Rem’s hero. The one she had loved so much, reduced to this. A phantom that refused to be pushed aside. An unwanted parasite, latching into unwilling guests and cursing them to a bad ending. A coward. A useless title.

“Subaru?” 

‘Not Emilia too.’

“Did you do something bad? Both Ram and Rem came back crying and…” Her voice died as she noticed his state. Her body language revealed she had listened in partly. “Are you okay?”

Subaru smiled brightly. “Yes, Emilia-tan. But could you do me two huge favours that I will pay back and go check on Rem and Ram? Our conversation happened to go bad and I don’t want them to be sad.” 

“...Subaru, I can’t help you if you do not want me to nor let me in.”

“But I want you to help me by helping them!” Subaru’s roar was in the voice he used to loudly joke around them.

Emilia teared up and, shaking her head, also retreated away.

He slammed his head against the ground, trying to smash his eyes so that that image went away. He died with it still on his mind.

…

Emilia teared up and, shaking her head, also retreated away.

He stopped breathing, his mind and body too done

Reinhard’s soft steps were next. His hell was not yet done.

“Friend.” The warmth and care in his voice, a third dagger. “My deepest apologies but I heard it all and have plenty of complaints because you are more than what you call yourself.” He stepped closed and kneeled in front of Subaru. “You see an empty mask but I see otherwise. I see a courageous man that went against an assassin that outskilled him yet did his best so that three people could live. I see an unyielding man that dived headfirst into a forest filled with mabeast to save a single child. I see a kind man that could not stand the meanness of others towards his friends and roared in their defense, no matter how bleak the future would become for him. I see a capable man that went against what he liked to help those who hated him.” 

His voice grew even softer. “I see a man who, despite being in so deep a sorrow which takes all of the colour in life that you should enjoy, still tries to brighten other’s days. I see someone so entrenched in its ideals to help others that they are burning themselves like a star, giving light in exchange for theirs. I see someone who forgets himself, who forgets to take himself into account. I see Subaru, my friend. A true hero.” 

“Then you see wrong!” Subaru spat back with overflowing venom and a hateful glare. “Those are all lies! Fabricated traits! A prepared script! A board pre-placed by dozens, hundreds, thousands of previous tries!” His voice cracked. “I am a manipulator, a schemer. I am worthless, useless! I am a cheater at life and even then I fail! Today I wounded four people whom I should have saved! I am incapable of fulfilling my only purpose in life! I am a letdown and you all deserve to know it! You all should! Why are you still here, humoring this failure?! Retreat with the others for it is the only thing I deserve for having failed!” 

Reinhard’s tone gained a furious edge. He got up and off the ground. His gaze was cold, like that of long ago. Subaru choked, moving back and forth as if trying to push the air into his lungs. “I refuse to hear someone talk about my dear friend like that.” Reinhard left him behind too, leaving behind a declaration Subaru could not stomach. A declaration that had been screamed at him five times. A declaration he refused, could not be, didn’t deserve, could not, must not ever believe.

He cut his throat again.

…

“I refuse to hear someone talk about my dear friend like that.”

Subaru gave up.

…

Julius, worry ever increasing, almost lunged at Reinhard after he came back to the living room. “What is going on?”

“You all look like he went up and died.” Felix tried to quip, an edge of doubt arising while thinking about what he had just said.

Reinhard bowed down to the three waiting men in the room. “My deepest apologies.” His knight voice activated, he acted as if this was an official meeting. “But I think our answers will have to wait for whenever the Emilia camp feels ready to answer. Knight Subaru is not fully recovered and, in his current state, he may very well lie so that we doom him to a fate he wrongly believes he deserves.” Her gaze turned cold. “This, as much as it pains me to say, is not an offering but a statement of fact. We will be leaving today.”

“...what?” Felix did not understand at all what had just happened. 

“So my fears of that moment over that tea came to be…” Stated Wilhelm, a tinge of regret slipping into his voice. “Felix-dono, I believe we should listen and return.”

“Why?! Are you now siding with…?”

“I have realised Subaru-dono is incapable of what we have feared if he has been laid down by the worry of his friends.” Wilhelm bowed apologetically at Reinhard. “Another realisation is that we may have very well worsened this situation by our unwarranted paranoia. If you could…”

“I will relay your words to lady Emilia as I will also be leaving. Lady Felt is waiting for my return.”

Wilhelm nodded. “Then paid no heed to my request, I will directly apologise to lady Emilia.” Felix glared at Reinhard but backed away. Getting Crusch to come to the discussion was logical even if very dangerous. He would not let her agree if the Sword Saint wouldn’t be present.

Julius’ gaze went to the door from where Reinhard had come. He did not have any right to intervene. “I also agree to postpone today’s meeting.” Julius bowed. “My only regret is that I find myself increasingly undeserving of the title I aspire to endow if your trust is this solid even after your personal discussion with the man. But, as amoral as it may be, I shall still await for the explanation.”

Otto frowned yet said nothing.

The very long day finally ended. At least for the warriors.

…

Subaru laid in the same place as before. Parched throat, growling stomach, pained body from the uncomfortable position, all of that was mere white noise. New footsteps he did not know came towards him. Was that Julius? That would be the last thing he needed.

“Sir Natsuki?”

A voice he also did not recognise yet he had no energy to deal with it. He heard the newcomer shuffle from place to place, not knowing what to do.

“Beloved Dragon, the man who killed three archbishops is just dying of thirst in front of me.” Otto continued his prancing up and down in front of Subaru. “Damn it all.” Crouching, he pulled Subaru to his shoulders and carried him out. “Could you guide me to your room, sir Natsuki?”

“...why are you doing this?” Subaru mumbled, not understanding why Otto would help him. His purpose was over. He should loop and pray to the Witch of Envy for a changed checkpoint.

Otto’s words failed him. His frown deepened as his unconsciousness detected the stench of alcohol in his breath. “...now I start to understand why they were all mad.” He shook his head, his hair hitting Subaru in the eyes, not that the black haired man cared. “I guess whichever room I find will do.” It took him a full ten minutes to finally find one in such an enormous manor. Drenched in sweat, Otto grunted as he rested Subaru on the bed. 

Before he could stand up and stretch, a desperate hand grabbed his arm. “Not on the bed, please. Get me off the bed.”

Subaru’s distress evident, Otto rushed to raise him and sat him on one of the couches. Now calmer, Subaru fell silent again. Sighing, Otto got ready to leave the room but, as he crossed the door, he looked back at an still unmoving, mostly unblinking Subaru. “...I will choose to believe this is the aftermath of an archbishop and not of a lovers’ quarrel.” Groaning, Otto washed his face quickly in the bathroom and went to grab something to help Subaru with some water.

After an hour, and with Subaru somewhat hydrated, Otto left a plate of hastily made food on a table and got ready to leave again.

“...why would you be worried about me? That is my job. My purpose.”

Otto flinched at the toneless words. Sighing, he shook his head. “Mister Natsuki, I think you are a bit of an idiot. I worried about you because I…” His diversion died in his throat as he turned and saw Subaru’s look. “...because I wanted to do it. I worried about you because, despite us not knowing each other at all, I care about you. I don’t know why I even have to say this but you saved my life from the Witch’s Cult. I am returning the favour.”

“But there should be no favour from a planned deed. I did what I had to do. What I must do. Why repay what is an obligation? Why repay me for my life’s purpose? Why feel grateful for what is a commandment?”

Otto’s hands went to his hair. Talking to a wall seemed a more productive way to pass his time. “Mister Natsuki. What you yourself think is not what others may do. Likewise,” His right hand started to play with some of his hair’s locks. “The same way you worry, others will worry about you.”

“They should not. They should be happy.”

“Nobody can be fully happy forever, mister Subaru.”

“Of course not. Happiness must be imperfect. But to worry about me is like a miner worrying about their pickaxe.”

Otto frowned. “I think it is very offensive to think your friends should treat you like a tool.”

Subaru tilted his head. “But that’s what I am.”

“Then I will disagree. You are Natsuki Subaru. I did not use you to save my life. You did that all by yourself.” And with that Otto left the room.

Subaru stared at the door. ‘This loop is doomed yet I can’t restart…’ He closed his eyes, deep in thought. He fell asleep as he was.

.........

Chapter Text

(L̅MMDCLII)

Blinking, the morning light incoming from the window slowly awoke him. Stretching his body, Subaru looked around. Frowning, he looked up. “Oh, I do recognise this ceiling.” He was in one of the guests’ rooms in Roswaal’s manor. As he looked up, memories from yesterday started to replay. He cut his throat. He woke up again.

‘I was…emotionally compromised.’ Subaru frowned at himself, his bastard sword floating in front of his face. ‘Even if the alcohol did not help, I had vowed to not use them as validation from my purpose but my greed overtook me. It won’t happen again…Not that it could. The mist has gone away. The mirror’s no longer warped. I have been unveiled. There’s no looping off this.’ Subaru slowly got off the couch. Readying himself for the day, he found his newly bought up suit fully repaired by Rem. Similar to Reinhard’s, his was black.

Fully dressed and tugging at his gloves, he looked at the mirror. Empty eyes and a neutral face were reflected back to him. ‘...I guess all that training was for nothing…But the mission is still ongoing. It may be a setback but I won’t fail.’ As he left the room unusually late for his routine, he was met first thing with Puck.

“Hella.” The spirit, uncaring for his new appearance, hailed him with his hand.

“Great Spirit of Fire.” Subaru deadpanned.

“That’s a change and a half, Subaru!” Flying around him, Puck nodded his head a few times, enjoying both his new look and lack of energy. “I was coming here to ask you something but I see you are still determined in your original objective so I will leave you be!” And just like that he vanished.

Subaru stared at the empty space. His memory failed again, this moment of the original timeline too small to be remembered. Redoing his collar, Subaru restarted his walk. A day and a half without enough food was making him slow, not that he minded. He still had tons to prepare and think for Sanctuary. ‘The village also needs aid. Half of its population has gone missing, after all.’ Returning to his room, he took a notebook, a quill and a bit of ink and got to writing missives. ‘Having learnt Roswaal’s signature was the right call.’ After another hour he left, unable to think fast enough through hunger.

Entering the kitchen, he was ignored and he ignored Rem, who was getting ready for lunch. Grabbing some bread, he sat on a chair and continued his work. His left hand started to rhythmically tap on the table, taking account of the time. After fifteen minutes he tore one of the pages.

“Miss Rem, could you take this to sir Otto Suwen? A letter of change to make a relief project official.”

The maid jumped at the sudden request. Turning around, she nodded and moved to grab the letter. As she tried to pull, Subaru didn’t let go.

“And, another thing. I haven’t given up.” Subaru’s empty stare glared daggers at her. “If needed be, I shall drag you lot kicking and screaming to a happy ending. Your acceptance is not required.”

Rem forced the letter free with a pull. Shaking her head, she left the room to obey the order.

Having done the most immediate thing, Subaru decided to write the following letters in bulk. He would need to explain the situation to both camps, it seemed. After that, one for each wife of regulus to welcome them to the village, every single one with different quips and jokes, one for Reinhard, another one for Felt. “I also need to board the alliance to Felt’s camp with Emilia.” He muttered to the empty kitchen. An old habit that had grown while Echidna was still contracted to him, but one he had never managed to put him past himself.

He shook his head. They would need to leave in less than a week…Was it really a ‘they’ situation? Subaru frowned and shook his head. While passing the trials would be easy for himself, to do so like that would doom Garfiel to a sad ending. He crossed his arms and reclined on his chair, conjuring a black hand from Sloth’s authority to help him write the letters as his real, very busy hands tapped his arms.

In the end, it relied on Emilia. Now, the clones…What would he do with them? He could order them around as a candidate but…were they really clones? His memories were too fuzzy to be sure of that.

A slow knock on the door of the kitchen made him open his eyes and turn to the noise. ‘Frederica Baumann has been recalled despite Rem being functional? That’s…worrying. Does that mean that Roswaal’s Book of Wisdom has changed?’ “Frederica Baumann, right? Were you called by Roswaal?”

Frederica, seemingly relaxed, shook her head. “You are mistaken, knight Subaru. Miss Ram was the one who called me here. She deemed necessary for a maid to take care of the manor while lady Emilia goes to Sanctuary.”

Subaru nodded. ‘It makes some sense. I doubt Rem would not accompany Ram when Roswaal’s checkmate is approaching.’ “I see. Are you already settled in?”

“I have carried my luggage to my room, if that’s what you are asking, knight Subaru.”

Subaru’s answer was invoking another invisible hand and handling her both fifty three letters and a list for supplies to be brought. “Then if you do not mind, deliver these and act upon that one.”

Frederica backed a step as the items flew towards her.

“Oh, right.” A third hand appeared and flew her a bag of coins. “Funds for the trip.” He returned his gaze to his notebook while his mind checked up on his counting. ‘Three hours already? I should go train.’ Getting up mid writing, he left the quill in the bottle of ink and left the kitchen, leaving behind a very confused maid, not really understanding if she should follow his orders or ask for Emilia’s permission. Her gaze moved to the rapidly cleaning utensils and table, now flying through the air even as Subaru grew further away.

‘Otto Suwen’s oil will be placed in the biggest room so that the great mabeast…what was its name? Worthless information. It will end up dying in my trap due to my baiting. Invisible Providence can deal with the flames. Next, Elsa I can deal with myself…if she refuses to change her ways…yet, Meili…how to deal with her? Do I want her to be a normal kid? What would make her happier? Is Elsa required or forbidden?’ His eyes moved as he crossed hallways, noticing the fairly cloudy sky. ‘Will today rain? They shall be warned.’ Turning a corner he almost collided with Otto.

“Oh, mister Subaru!” Documents on his hands, he pointed at one of the studies in the room. “Your documents aren’t sorted properly!”

“That’s because I codified a different system.” His gaze turned to the merchant. His time as a consort king had taught him how truly vulnerable paper was. “You should have seen that there were no important nor useful documents in view, only ones I deemed useful to be seen.”

“...now that you mention…” Otto fell silent. “I see, it all makes sense! But it could still be improved! I will get to it!” Otto rushed back to do work he had not been asked too, prompting Subaru to look at his back until he closed the door. Shaking his head at that foolishness that had missed the trap he had laid for him, he resumed walking. ‘I will have to start paying him a salary...And I will have to ask for a good architect. He deserves that shop.’

Now in the garden, he sent one of his black hands to get his sword and started to warm up. His training today was joined by his hands. He needed to know how many he could maintain comfortably, how many was his maximum and what was the time limit for each of those situations. After a few hours, and almost not being able to walk from both nausea and exhaustion, he took a shower and changed to his study, where he would manage Roswaal’s state until midnight, never having rained at the end of it. Not having finished, he crashed there and his soulless day ended, his routine never changing. Doing things for his personal enjoyment was a poison he had stopped partaking in. He looked at the window. It had not rained but he had been asked about it. His Providence grabbed his sword. His soulless day started anew.

…

Emilia left her room. Her hair, the only part of her appearance that wasn’t a mess. Her clothes, badly fitting. Her eyes, reddened. Rubbing them, she gazed at the magic stone where Puck was, refusing to show himself. Rubbing her eyes, she strolled through the mansion, opening random doors and trying to meet with Beatrice. She would end up wasting two hours.

Shaking her head and refusing to cry, she changed gears and decided who could know about it. Roswaal was in Sanctuary, Beatrice was refusing to answer and Subaru…Right, Subaru. She did not understand why everything was happening all at once. She had gone years without talking to anyone but Puck yet this week had felt longer than a decade.

“I can’t keep moping when I could be doing something to help Puck!” Readying herself her with a whispered battlecry, she dusted her clothes and started her new search. This one was fairly easy as Subaru followed his routine to a fault. Knowing he would be training, she rushed to the garden. On her way she met with the maids.

“Oh, good morning Ram!” Putting a brave front, Emilia stopped and acted normally. Her hoarse voice and shifty eyes were enough.

“So Puck is still missing, lady Emilia?” Ram muttered, her soft gaze on her.

Rem moved next to Emilia and started to comb her hair lightly, taking stock of her appearance.

“Ah…yes. Yes he is. I wanted to ask Beatrice if she knew something but she won’t show up.” Emilia looked down, giving Rem a small smile as thanks.

“And master Roswaal is still in Sanctuary, right? Maybe it would not be foolish to travel to where he is to ask.” Ram shuffled, the mop in her hands tainting the recently cleaned floor. “We could ask miss Frederica where it is located.”

“Oh! Yes, that’s a good idea!” Emilia brightened at that. She soon lost the recently recovered energy. “But I don’t want to be a bother…”

Rem squished her shoulder as she dusted and tried to readjust her clothes.

Ram answered. “You would be no bother, lady Emilia. To provide guidance is Roswaal’s duty.” She turned around a bit to hide her expression. “But, how about we try to search for Beatrice the three of us?”

“We opened all of the mansion’s doors yesterday to no avail, sister.”

“We may have missed a cupboard or whatever sordid trick the Great Spirit decided to use.”

“While you are right, if Beatrice refuses I doubt even you will be able to locate her.”

Ram shook her head and stretched a bit. “We will see about th…”

Emilia scratched her head. “Actually, I was thinking about…asking Subaru.” Both maids turned to her.

“Lady Emilia…” Rem interjected. “I don’t think he is acting quite right, at least for now.”

“Indeed, lady Emilia, sir knight refuses to even face us and keeps lying about being a mask, he may lie about Puck too.” Ram’s tone was a bit hateful, combining the anger from the betrayal and his reveal as the schemer she feared he was. Not that she should have expected anything from a time looper. ‘Yet…why did he not fix this? Is it part of his plan? How long ahead is he thinking?’

Ram’s paranoia radiated into Rem, making her frown a bit. “I don’t…”

“But isn’t this what we wanted from him?” Emilia tilted her head. “He is trying to be more honest and has revealed a bit of himself. Wouldn’t we prove him right if we rejected him now too?”

Ram’s words of refusal died in her lips. Rem’s eyes widened a bit.

“...no matter if you are right or not, at this point in time he could prove to be dangerous. Not to ourselves, but to…”

“Not you too, Ram!” Emilia pointed at her face. “Why does everyone want to be mean to Subaru? I have only ever seen him do good things!”

“He smells of the Witch.” Interjected Rem, out of reflex.

“And I look like her!”

Rem backed a step. It was hypocritical, wasn’t it? To handwave the prejudices Emilia faced as untrue then turn around and throw the exact same critic at another person.

“I am talking with Subaru and there’s that!”

“...what did you need to talk with me, lady Emilia?” Subaru, training clothes drenched in sweat, had just finished his training and was wiping his face, having entered the mansion.

The other three jumped in their place. “Oh…I…today’s a sunny day, right?!”

Subaru nodded, unsurprised by the jarring topic change. “A shame it will rain during the evening.”

Ram bit her lips at that, looking away. ‘...how could I have ever trusted a time traveller that knows all I will ever say…’

“Yes I…oh, will it? Really?” Emilia turned to the window. The sky, almost pure blue. “It really does not look like it.”

Subaru followed her gaze. “The weather is fickle.”

Emilia nodded, believing him fully. “Then I will grab a coat for later.”

Subaru couldn’t stop himself from snorting at that. “Now, you wanted to ask me about Puck, right?”

“Me?! Me, no, I, I really wanted to talk about…”

“Lady Emilia, while you are a remarkably good liar…” ‘...and I have missed that expression….’ “, there’s only one topic that would get you to roam the mansion opening doors. With the lack of Roswaal, I alone remain as someone who could have an inkling of what is happening to Puck. After Beatrice, of course.”

“So you know?!” While Emilia’s face as she got near him was filled with hope, the two oni’s were wary.

He gave a very slow nod. Whatever he said right now would either doom or save Sanctuary. The other side of that choice was that it would do the same to Emilia. “...I have an hypothesis of the why but I believe it has to do with your contract. Something may be interfering with it. Unlike Roswaal, I am unable to help you due to my lacking capabilities as a mage.”

“Oh…” Her dejected face went full force against Subaru, whose dead eyes lit up a tiny bit with regret.

“...and that is why I was thinking about asking you to travel to Sanctuary. Frederica could point us at it, Otto, lend us his carriage and miss Ram and miss Rem accompany us.” His apathetic tone did nothing to stop Emilia’s new wave of energy.

“Could we really?”

“You are the one who has the final say.” Subaru shrugged. “And Roswaal never ordered us to not go, right?”

“But Frederica alone…”

“And I have hired for help. One of the kids, Petra Leyte, dreamt of being a tailor, so I offered her classes in sewing in exchange for her services. She, of course, will also get paid.”

“You, sewing?” Interjected Rem. The bite in her tone was gone. Despite everything, he had cared enough to remember the dream of a little girl he had saved. He may not trust them but he was still himself. Always have been.

Subaru turned to her, his tone still empty. “It’s a hobby that I could never quite drop. Its usefulness was too high. Of course, she will be under the care of miss Frederica. I won’t be instructing her alone.” He added that last sentence to try and ease their fears.

“I see.” Muttered Rem, noticing the strange reassurance.

“You already took care of everything already?!” Interjected Emilia again.

Subaru shook his head. “There’s still the matter of welcoming Regulus’ ex wives. As Roswaal’s missing, that duty falls upon you. If you want to, we will prepare the carriage for the trip these two days and leave on the third.”

Emilia grabbed his hand and shook it up and down. “Thank you, Subaru! I will work hard too!” And left like the bright sun she always was, running filled with energy no matter what. 

Subaru, hand still frozen in the position it had been left, stared at her back as she rushed to her new duty.

“You do do everything with a plan, sir.” Ram spat. “Even this small duty was to make lady Emilia receive their gratitude and further close the gap between her and the villagers, wasn’t it?”

Subaru’s hand dropped yet his eyes were locked on the now closed door. He tugged at his gloves. “She needs to know more people, make more friends. So, yes, I will build the board and I will place the pieces. I believe I already told such thing to miss Rem?”

Ram scoffed. Their lukewarm relationship of before now ice cold, Ram swallowed down her complaints and simply strolled off for her duties. Subaru, having already run down this conversation five times, went on his day.

Rem shook her head, staying behind. “I believe she would also enjoy being your friend, Subaru.” The unheard whisper died in the hallway as Rem fixed Ram’s mistakes during the cleaning.

…

The downpour outside was certainly atmospheric. Subaru, black jacket unbuttoned over a white shirt, reclined on the wooden chair as he gazed at the documents. While a remarkable ruler, all of Roswaal’s moves, actions and investments had a clear goal in mind that left to root all that wasn’t relevant to it. His experience as regent was making fixing it a breeze even if it would take a few months for the results to start speaking for themselves.

‘My past experiences will help to mold Roswaal’s domain into a place where no one goes hungry, cold or homeless. But, for now, its economy comes first. Can’t do anything without liquidity. An enormously tricky business, at least I won’t have any…unaccounted variants this time around. Just myself and this small land.’ He minded not the smell of paper and books as he prepared ledgers, wrote documents and orders, drew maps and located resources yet unknown and prepared the surveys that would have to be done post Great Rabbit. Lust would be way more impactful for Priestella’s situation so he would have to build a matching underground empire to combat her assassins.

‘It should move away from a frontal siege and more into a war of attrition…’ He sighed one of the future documents with the namesake of The Penitent King. ‘Yet I am getting ahead of myself, for there’s also the Great Calamity. I will stop Sphinx during this year of rest for the camp. That will turn Prisca Benedict into a real contender for Lugunica’s throne. And that brings Aldebaran into the picture.’ The quill cracked, stabbing into his hand. Uncaring for the wound, Subaru grabbed a replacement and continued. ‘At the very least I know all of his tricks. Either seal him or put him into a permanent death loop. Slow acting poison should do the trick or, at least, distract him. Sealing him is, for now, out of the table.’ The quill cracked again. He would need a pen for the future too.

Subaru knew that he was dodging the real issue. He had no real way to guarantee their success as it depended on Emilia. He could only hope that Rem and Ram’s support would become her strength. For Garfiel he also had no ideas. Maybe his infatuation with Ram could do something? While going blind was a recipe for a restart, he knew very little of the walled off kid. As for the clones, ‘No, as for the Ryuzus…They may not do as they like but they shall survive too. Omega’s plan…’ The chair creaked as he shuffled on it. ‘I will let it proceed earlier this time. Maybe that could make Roswaal happy.’

‘The great rabbit I can’t bait away nor deal with it on my own. Roswaal must help. I will move his own damn hands myself if need be.’ Subaru sighed, exhausted. Caressing his temples, he turned to the window. A few more days of planning would do no harm. He needed time to preplane the mansion. He could not put any traps in it while both Petra and Frederica would work inside so…at least he would need a few aces to play. His eyes turned to a letter, no word still on it. After thirty minutes of contemplation, Subaru wrote on it.

“I will be back, Beako. I just wish I may be able to talk to you again.”

Sighing, he felt his exhaustion on his soul. But there was work to be done. His sword came out of its sheath.

…

Subaru, heavy bags under his eyes, stared as the carriage was loaded. Or it seemed like that, as his Invisible Providence was doing most of the work despite the maids’ harsh words. Otto, staring at the floating luggage, struggled to keep his mouth closed. “Why did I bother to carry up the oil to the mansion?” He muttered.

“Because you have too kind a soul for a merchant.” Plainly stated Subaru.

Otto raised a finger to throw back some sass before realising the utter honesty in that statement. Blushing lightly, he looked away and rushed towards the carriage.

Ram, having not done anything, strolled towards it too. Rem, behind, gave Subaru a thankful nod. The question they were dying to ask was evident to the black haired man but even uttering should be cause for a loop and one that could, strangely enough, create a new checkpoint. He won’t risk anything anymore. ‘Has Return by Death been given the mechanism to prevent dead ends or is it moving towards its own goal? Am I being manipulated again?’

“Hum…Knight Subaru?” A small and high pitched voice shook him from his reverie. Petra, approaching shyly, had a handmade handkerchief. “I wanted to give you this!” Bowing her head, she extended her hands with the present.

Subaru blinked rapidly a few times. His shaking hands struggled to grab it. “I…Thanks for the gift, Petra.” His eyes traced the item, noticing the praisable amount of work that had gone into it. He…did not remember this. With much care he pocketed it into his chest pocket. “I will gladly take it with me…Do take care.”

“I shall await your safe return!” Petra bowed again. She repressed a small yelp as Subaru’s right hand fell on her head.

Unused to the motion, the head pat was certainly clumsy and too soft. “Listen to miss Frederica yet tell her that you have my permission to take it easy. The job of a kid is to play and enjoy.”

“I am not a little kid!” Despite her words she made no attempt to stop Subaru’s patting. Her eyes widened as she looked up to his small, bright smile and warm eyes.

“You all seem like kids to me but we need to be going. We did want to leave early. Have a nice week, Petra.”

“You too!”

As he turned around, Subaru was met with four stares. Frowning, his apathetic tone gained a bit of doubt, “Is there a problem on my face that needs to be taken care of?”

“Your face is the problem, sir.” Ram’s gaze wavered, her tone venomless.

“Not at all, you just looked…” Rem’s voice trailed off ‘...like the Subaru of always.’.

Emilia, looking proud, puffed her chest and looked at the rest over her shoulder.

Otto shook his head to hide his smirk and jumped into the front of the carriage, taking the reins.

Subaru was the last one to enter the carriage. He slowed down as he climbed up, leaving a last gaze to one of the windows of the mansion, wondering if Beatrice would read his letter.

…

The inside of the carriage, while awkwardly silent at the beginning, had evolved into a conversation between Ram, Rem and Emilia about little things. Or, at least, Subaru thought that way. His fingers, tapping his seat, he had started to count the time. His mind, zeroed in itself, was paying no mind to the outside. His hands grabbed a cushion.

“...-lly, you should be a bit scared, Ram. With both Frederica and Petra in the mansion, will you even have any job to do?”

“My sister’s job is to be the best person in the world and it is already accomplished. She needs not to do anything to be herself.” Rem raised her head up, not as much as Ram.

Emilia looked at her questioningly. “But shouldn’t a maid know how to clean?”

“Ram’s presence already purifies the manor with its dazzling light.”

Rem excitedly nodded several times.

“Is that how it works?” Emilia tilted her head, starting to believe it too. “But isn’t Rem also doing that? Plus she is super duper kind! There’s no better do-gooder than her! And what’s more, Petra is also a good kid too, wouldn’t she also help with…”

“Lady Emilia, they are playing you.” Interjected Otto.

“Hah?!” Ram turned to the merchant, fury threatening to make her scowl. “Who called for you to join this conversation, fake merchant? Go back to driving our carriage!”

“That was awfully rude of you, sir Otto. Rem would never lie about sister!”

“You really should apologise, Otto. And I am not that easy to fool!"

Otto, assaulted from three different fronts, frowned. “Was the insult really necessary?! And what do you mean fake merchant! I will tell you that I cashed big time with the oil!”

Ram rolled her eyes. “For sure, fake merchant. Not like it wasn’t mere luck or convenience between two enormous fools.” Ram tapped her lips, thinking about her time in the capital. “Come to think of it, hadn’t the price of oil plummeted a few months ago?”

Otto stiffened. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He looked to the road ahead.

“Sister, I think the fake merchant is lying.”

“Indeed he is, Rem. He can only lie to protect his pride.”

“...you really are unlucky, aren’t you, sir Otto?”

“Can you all leave me alone?!” Otto lowered his head. “I made one, one mistake.”

“Sister, I think he got swindled out of all of his money.”

“Rem, it appears to have happened and now he is salty because of his personal failings in his profession.”

“That was so mean of them! We could…” Emilia suddenly frowned. Her eyes closed and she fell to her left, falling on a carefully placed cushion while her fall was slowed by a pair of hands. Her breathing quickened, pained.

Subaru, sighing, got up from his seat as the light and easy going air they had gotten going on died. The carriage also stopped as the road was cut off by a single blond kid. 

“Lady Emilia?” While both maids tended to the collapsed half-elf, Subaru joined Otto in the front. 

“Just waltzing in straight from the front, you got some nerve, stranger.”

Subaru, standing now on top of the wooden rails in front of the driver’s seat, towered upon the blond boy.

Garfiel growled at that. “Looking high and mighty from there, aren’t cha, intruder? Don’t worry, I will kick you down! I was feeling a bit bad for your bad luck but looks like you deserve it!” His mouth moved to reveal his fangs. “Do remember you met Garfiel today and that I kicked you down from your pedestal!”

He raised a leg with the intent of stomping on the ground but one of Subaru’s hands pierced the ground below and, grabbing his foot, pushed it up and stopped it from slamming downwards. Subaru’s cold gaze as his index and middle finger pointed down sent a chill down Garfiel’s spine, his instincts screaming that this was bad news. He tried to jump backwards only to collide against a wall made from five invisible hands. The next six grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down, slamming him against the ground together with the ones he had collided with.

Growling, he threw a glare at Subaru only for his blood to freeze in his veins. Subaru’s eyes were glinting, a smirk threatening to curl up the corners of his lips. He was craving any distraction, any way to vent stress, after these awfully long two months, for him, and this fight was looking like it. He was fully ready to take the chance. The more Garfiel gazed into those eyes, the more his confidence cracked. Those were the eyes of someone who won every battle in the end.

“Are you done attacking guests of master Roswaal, brother of Frederica? Or should we keep up this friendly bout going?” Subaru’s apathetic tone had the tiniest tint of excitement. They had never seen eye to eye and he could not stop his past resentment from coming up, even if it was brought down by the guilt of his future just as quickly. The pained breaths behind him didn’t help either with lessening his enmity.

“Guests? I see a snake swiping at a fruit.” Garfiel tensed up. Pushing against the ground with his fours, he slowly overpowered Invisible Providence. “But I will…”

“Garfiel?” Ram, having noticed the disturbance, had jumped next to Otto. Her gaze went from alert to confused and ended in dissatisfaction. “Why are you taking a nap in front of our carriage?”

“Ram?!” The pressure now gone, Garfiel jumped to his feet. Dusting himself as if he had intentionally lost, he scratched below his nose. “Fancy seeing you here. And rare to do so without Ros-lord Roswaal near. I was patrolling and all that and I…”

“...you decided to throw yourself on the dirt in front of our carriage?” Ram raised an eyebrow.

“N-no! I…I was testing for traps!” Coughing, he pointed at Subaru. “And who is that cheater over there?!”

Ram closed her eyes, sighing deeply. “He is Lady Emilia’s new knight.”

“Oh, the half-dev-” He tensed up, his gaze refusing to look at the two sources of killing intent. “The half-elf, right? What is she doing over here?”

“We should get moving, brother of Frederica. The barrier is affecting her.” Ordered Subaru, his expression still not revealing anything.

“I have my own name, bastard.”

“I shall call you by it when I think you deserve it.” He himself was surprised by his words. His mask showed it not and, not having moved from his position, Subaru gestured to the left with his chin. “For now, the only thing you have shown me is you calling others by not their names so, either guide us or move.”

Ram snickered at that, causing Garfiel’s fury to skyrocket. “Say that again!”

“We are wasting time, brother of Frederica.” A hand from Invisible Providence catched the rock kicked at his face. “...do I take this as a request for the continuation of our duel?” The hand crushed the stone to dust. “Time is ticking still and the carriage has yet to advance a metre. Should you keep my lady suffering I will hold you to it.” Subaru’s eyes glinted as he extended some hands on top of the ground in front of Garfiel.

The hot headed boy advanced forward. “Do not worry, earth dragons.” His face darkened, moved into a predatory smirk. “I will aim good.” And he stomped on the invisible hands just above the ground. His Divine Protection could not activate. “...huh?!” His gaze, on his feet, slowly raised up to Subaru. He was walking midair, Invisible Providence giving him footholds as he climbed down the carriage while another few acted as Garfiel’s ground.

Now in front of the boy, Subaru added. “Do you mind if our duel happens tomorrow?”

Garfiel backed a step. “...cheater.” He growled but backed away, his sixth sense begging him to retreat. He turned to Ram. “And I will still escort you to make sure your dumb knight does no wrong in the way in.”

Subaru’s Invisible Providence pushed against the ground and flew him back to his earlier position. “Otto, if you may?”

Gulping, Otto ordered the earth dragons forward. Subaru could be scary when he wanted. Inside it, Emilia took fifteen minutes of the carriage hurrying forwards to wake up between grunts. Every one hardened Subaru’s expression. ‘How could I have forgotten about that much pain? Should I rese…no, it would always happen. It is a matter of the barrier reacting to her half blood.’ His fingers started to tap on the wooden railing he had been standing on just before. ‘...now, the trials are approaching.’ His tensed up body seemed like a coiled string, ready to jump at the slightest pushback, problem, minute slowdown.

Rem and Ram had returned to Emilia’s, her panicked words too far for him to hear. Subaru slowly relaxed and ended up sighing. “My apologies, sir Garfiel. I may have…overreacted. But I guess an apology won’t cut it, right?”

Garfiel scratched his head. He looked away, taken aback by the honest regret in his tone. “I jumped the fence fast. With your girl behind like that…I would have done the same if it had been Ram in her place. No biggie.” He frowned. “But we still dueling. Your win was a fluke. Not that you won! It was a draw! No, not even that, it was cut short!” As he glared back at Subaru, his lips curled up to show his teeth. “And what’s with that dumb ass face?”

“I…you are quite a straightforward person, sir Garfiel.” ‘I had never noticed…Or did I forget?’

The boy did his best to not perk up at the respect and deference in Subaru’s tone. Turning his head away and raising it a bit, he bit back. “And you ain’t, knight. I still don’t get what magic you were using.”

“It was no magic, sir Garfiel. It was Invisible Providence.”

Garfiel blinked a few times, almost falling as his feet entangled with each other. Taking a few seconds to recover, he shook his head. “Ain’t it too prideful to believe fate answers to you?”

At that Subaru snickered. “If anything, sir Garfiel, it is the other way around. I am nothing but fate’s tool. Lady Emilia shall become Queen, the kingdom shall find a future and all I can help will find a happy ending. That’s fate’s Pride. That’s my Providence and duty.” 

Ram scoffed at his words, not uttering a word.

“I see…” Garfiel tone lowered. A part of him wanted to laugh but the force behind Subaru’s words made taking them lightly impossible. “Your name was Subaru, right?” Maybe he would remember.

Subaru nodded, his eyes still on the quarter-blood. “And you, sir Garfiel, are included in it as part of Lady Emilia’s faction.”

Almost falling again, Garfiel’s scowl revealed his intentions to lunge at the man before Otto coughed. “Sir Natsuki, there should be a limit to arrogance.”

“I agree. But, until there is one, I will carry on with mine just fine.” His gaze went to the front, where a few houses started to appear. In the higher quality one, Roswaal should be resting from his injuries. ‘Or did he not bother to enter?...Ram was useless in treating him in the original timeline so that’s not a real question.’ 

Subaru opened the curtain that separated them from the inside of the carriage. “How are you dealing with the crossing, lady Emilia?”

A bit pale, she shook her head. “I am fine, really! So, please, could you ask Rem to move away already!”

Rem, still treating Emilia, refused to hear that command. 

“Whenever you are ready, Roswaal should be ready to receive you. I will take a small walk around.” Not waiting for any reply, Subaru jumped off the carriage and, tugging at his gloves, started to walk forward.

Startled, Otto almost stopped the carriage. Ram glared at his back and Garfiel, after a small pause and a look thrown at the carriage, followed the black-haired man.

“You know I asked to escort you all because of you, right?! So no scurrying around!”

“Then follow me. I take no issue with that.”

Garfiel frowned, his hand reaching for Subaru’s shoulder but stopping short of reaching. “I do not want to, and didn’t you bunch come to talk to that son of a…?”

Subaru turned to him, his expression empty. “Lady Emilia had some questions for Roswaal. Now that she is here, she will have to break the barrier that surrounds this village. Helping with that is now my job, not talking to Roswaal. I wanted to see what the trials would be, as Emilia could do with as much information as I can scavenge.”

“You…you know where the Tomb is?!” Garfiel’s expression darkened. “How do…”

“I work under master Roswaal. He knows best about what this place is. Now, if we may proceed before my lady finishes her business with Roswaal…” Subaru gestured at the camp rapidly unloading the carriage, almost all of them throwing him worried glances. 

Garfiel growled. “And what if I refuse?”

“Then we will have our friendly bout right here.” Subaru, undeterred, looked bothered not by the little distance between the two of them.

After a few seconds Garfiel spat and turned around. “Then get moving! I won’t let you enter, though.”

Subaru gazed at his back. “I see.”

The walk towards it was silent yet hurried.

It took them a fair bit to reach it. In front of the opening, Subaru started. “Echidna’s grave, huh.”

Garfiel shuffled, his eyes looking everywhere but the entrance. “Yeah, yeah, you got your information so let’s hurry back like the earth dragon Carlak.” Silence was his answer. Despite not having heard Subaru move, Garfiel turned to his left and saw him flying deep into the Tomb. “Hey!! Come back here!!” Despite his roars, he refused to move a step inside, flexing in front of the entrance, too cautious of the man whose gate should be too weak to allow him flight.

…

Subaru’s steps echoed in the frigid and dead chambers. Too calm for it to be anything else, both darkness and miasma caused him to lose his sense of direction, his eyes only able to see a mere two metres in front.

But he did not need it. He could have traversed this space blinded and deaf, so entrenched its memory was in his mind. Clenching his teeth to repress those memories, he marched ever forward.

“...I see, that’s the core of your greed. Very interesting indeed. And to believe you changed it too. Must have been very trying times without my help, weren’t they?” A hypnoticing song resounded in the darkness.

Subatu’s steps stopped. “Then come out, Witch of Greed, and do something about them.”

“Who am I to refuse such a heartfelt plea?” As if materialising from the darkness and miasma, Echidna stepped forward. Tilting her head cutely, she mussed, “You have met me before.” 

Subaru nodded. “So you can cut that act.”

Her right hand went to her lips. “I don’t think I know what you mean by that but I guess everyone would be cautious in this situation, right? Let me help with that.” A snap of her fingers and the scenery changed. The cryptic and claustrophobic darkness of before was exchanged for a green hill bathing under the rays of the sun. Next to them, a table with appetisers, tea and an umbrella to block the sun.

Subaru sat out of muscle memory and drank the tea. 

“You are a brave one, aren’t you?” Giggling lightly, Echidna took her own tea cup in her hands. “Now, what is that curiosity inside your skull dying to get out? Ask, ask your questions and satisfy your greed.”

Subaru shuffled on his chair. Tugging his gloves down, he snarled, “So you are already reading my mind?”

“Why ask what you already know, old contractor of mine?” Her smirk was bright and teasing. “But yes. Since you entered I have been browsing your memories in preparation for the trials, in fact.”

Subaru rolled his eyes. Crossing his legs, he reclined on his chair. “Whatever. There’s a half elf that will be trying to beat the trials. I want you to help her.”

Her smirk remained unchanged. “Rejected. Not that I could help with it from the start.”

A nod. “Then I want you to apologise to Beatrice.”

“Rejected too. I feel like I will be unable to help you at all.”

At that Subaru’s laugh struck the small hill. It went on for half a minute, watched over Echidna’s smiling face before it dramatically cut off. His glare was ice. “Echidna, you both know that you never helped me, only yourself.”

Turning tearful, the witch turned away. “Oh, how could you be so brutish with a maiden’s heart.”

He shuffled on his chair, the witch’s tea starting to do its horrid work. “Third question…”

“Actually, that would be the forth! And I dislike that number so let’s stop there, shall we?” Clapping her hands together, she tilted her head. “The compensation shall be the same as last time, do not tell anyone of this place. Ah, and happy trial.” 

Subaru fell from the chair due to unwanted compulsions. ‘...Already? This is not how it should go…’

“I felt in a mischievous mood, old contractor of mine. My apologies for thwarting your planning. We could always make a new one together, could we not?” 

…

Outside the Tomb, Garfiel paled. It had lit. Subaru had the qualifications to partake in the trial! He tensed up. Bad news. Very, very bad news. The puppet of Roswaal… He tried to dive in but he couldn’t cross the threshold. He could not make himself do that. “Argh!!” He stomped on the ground, his Divine Protection tearing up the surroundings. All of his hairs stood on end whenever he thought of entering the Tomb with that black-haired man. But he…

“Did something happen?” Emilia, having run here, was heaving. Behind, Rem and Ram were also hurrying. “Why is the Tomb lit? Is someone challenging it?”

“Your damned knight dodged me and rushed inside.” He looked up. “He seems to have the qualifications.”

“Subaru…” Emilia’s worried gaze went to the Tomb, the maids’ following quickly.

Garfiel shook his head. Could he really be that bad of a man to have worried even Ram?

….

Chapter Text

(L̅MMCMLII)

In a pure white room, Subaru stood. In front of him there was a column of eleven mirrors. His parents and old world, long forgotten, had stopped having any meaning nor drain on his soul. Sighing, he would see if she was as nasty as he remembered. Walking to the first mirror, once he was in front he was confronted with the image of Roswaal.

“Yep, as nasty as ever.” He mumbled.

Roswaal turned around as if he had heard him. “Oh, Subaru!” His eyes looked like his, so single focussed in his obsession that his mind had no space for anything else. And so his relationship with everyone barring him had died. Even Ram’s love had dried up, knowing the man she had loved was long lost inside himself. “I have been waiting for you! How was the experiment?”

Subaru placed his right hand on the crystal. The image cracked upon his touch, Roswaal’s next words about the Witch, as if they could have been about anything else, were cut, a syllable being repeated over and over as if a recording had failed. “I can’t say I honestly regret you, Ros-chi. You were the one who had more of a choice. Always. You made your bed with your actions and dived on it, always refusing to even entertain the idea that you could turn back…Still, I do feel sad at your destiny. You finally became your obsession and you were so deep in it that you rejected Omega, not capable of recognising your changed teacher.”

The mirror kept glitching, offering no response. His hand left the mirror.

“Whatever happens in this new loop, I will try to pull off the ledge you are so keen on jumping off, not that you deserve it.” The mirror shattered. Ten left. Subaru sighed. “But neither do I, so I am not the one that can judge you.”

He inhaled, a bit surprised how tiresome this small act had been. After all, he hadn’t had any real closure with Roswaal. After Omega, he had just gone away, searching for a teacher so idealised that was no longer there. “Honestly, a clown to the end.”

His steps did not echo as he walked to the next mirror.

There, a merchant was bowing to him. “I uhm, Natsuki-san.” Subaru froze up, remembering that speech as if he had heard it yesterday. “Even though things are like this, I thought of you as my benefactor.” Subaru’s fist slammed against the mirror. It cracked not. The trial, still running, cared not for his desperate efforts. “-wed a great debt to which I wanted to pay as soon as possible.”  

Subaru fell to his knees, hands unable to scratch at the pure white ground. “But I saw your decision and I understand it. You don’t want anyone's help…” ‘...I don’t deserve help after all I have done, nor should anyone lower themselves to do such a thing. My failings are mine alone.’ “-do everything by yourself, and you can do it.” ‘...’

“Therefore, this is my way of returning the favour. Since you probably would try to protect everyone who you are close to, I will take my leave.” The image blurred. ‘Doesn't make sense, Roswaal’s didn’t.’ “Well then, goodbye, Natsuki-san. Take care of yourself.” The merchant in the mirror doubted for a few seconds. “I thought of you as my friend. You wouldn’t have thought that, though.”

Subaru blinked, fat tears dropping from his eyes. ‘Oh, so it was not the mirror.’. Struggling to his feet, he faced the mirror, glitching again on Otto’s last word. He let out a slow breath. “In the end, you were wrong about two things, Otto Suwen. I couldn’t do everything on my own.” Subaru’s right hand was placed on the mirror again, its surface cracking. “And I did consider you a friend. One I never deserved.”

The mirror shattered, falling into pieces on Subaru’s feet. “And one I won’t reclaim.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head at the ghost of the past. “I shall pray for your good future, Subaru’s friend.” The old scar may hurt but it no longer bled. He had already given his goodbyes a long time ago, even if repeating them would not lessen the pain. Even if seeing the ghosts alive and well threatened to melt away the scab.

He advanced towards the next one. In there, Frederica the maid. 

“King consort Subaru.” Frederica bowed. “I am surprised that you kept your word.” Subaru frowned, the jab at him still hurting. “My request, while irrelevant in the grand scheme of things you operate in, was very important to me. Because of that, I am grateful for all this time under your employment. But I can’t leave my little brother alone and so I will go with him.” Frederica shuffled on her position. “So, for all it’s worth, thank you. Thank you for doing what I never could. Thank you for building a kingdom for all sapients, no matter what race or species.”

Subaru stared unmoving at the mirror.

“I just had thought it would have space left for my brother too.” The ‘too’ glitched, signifying the end of this mirror’s task.

Not moving for a long time, Subaru breathed in and out. His low voice finally resounded again. “That was an honest miscalculation, I…I did not expect…I never wanted…I…” He breathed out. “I won’t apologise. It won’t do any good. Whatever hell exists, I’m sure my final death will carry me to it.” Subaru placed his hand on the crystal. “You are allowed to hate me, Frederica. I do too.” The mirror cracked. “I will see to it that it does not happen this time. No one shall be left behind.”

The shards fell onto the ground. Subaru, on his ass. He just noticed his trembling hands. He formed fists with them. He had already faced these ghosts and no forced introspection would change what had happened. His sins were his own. They had happened and had been measured and accounted for. Breathing in, he bowed at the shards and got up.

The next mirror was the same as the ones before. Placed on its top, there was the same handkerchief that he had in his chest pocket. Subaru had an inkling of who it would be.

The mirror showed a grown up Petra. Her gaze jaded, she looked utterly defeated. “Su…No, King consort Natsuki, you were right. I give up. I can’t win against your obsession.” She stood taller, her words having lightened a weight on her shoulders. “I can’t keep going on. Before, I once thought that this love I had towards you would save you from the witch. Now, reality has taught me something. It was always you. There was no devil whispering sweet nothings on your shoulders. You yourself were it all along.”

“Maybe I am being too harsh on you. You truly think you did all of that for us. And, yes, I am thankful that you saved all of us, myself included. And several times. I could never not be. You act like a hero of those tales I loved when I was a kid. But you do not look nor feel the part. You once did, but you have forgotten. The man my girlself crushed after is no longer here. You are all that’s left. And an enormous part of me begs me to not say this yet, if you will forgive me, I will follow the spite caused by my defeat.” Petra’s voice turned a whisper. Subaru covered his ears. The trial made him listen all the more. “I think you like how you are now and I can’t stand it.”

Her glare turned the most hateful, befitting of a witch. “You killed the man I loved and enjoyed sinking the blade in. You saw a kind man deserving of love and threw him into a dark chasm because you hated his guts. You could no longer look in a mirror without hating him.” Petra turned around. “I will forever pity who you have become, contractor of Greed. But that permanence also applies to my hatred.”

The word that looped was hatred. Subaru was biting his lips so hard they were bleeding. Shaking his head, he placed his hand on the mirror. “I thank you for your love, Petra, for displaced as it was. I never deserved a gram of it but neither did you deserve to suffer for me.” The mirror cracked. “I will destroy your love before the seed germinates, Petra, and save you from myself. I will guide you to your dream and stop you from having to carry loads unbecoming of a child.”

The mirror did not yet fully crack.

Subaru closed his eyes. “And I am sorry for not being the hero you wanted but that will never come to be. I am just Natsuki Subaru, the self anointed Archbishop of Pride. But I won’t fail this time. Still, whatever comes to pass, let it be known that the man you loved did not die alone.” His gaze went to the handkerchief on top of the mirror. “He had you all with him and he…came to regret his choice. Goodbye, Petra Leyte, mistress of Silk.”

The mirror shattered. Subaru breathed out. Time for the next one. Despite that thought Subaru kept quiet and unmoving for a long minute.

…

The next mirror was lacking any personalization. Inside, a certain purple head knight stood, sword unsheathed. 

“So you have decided to face someone as a knight. Surprising, I thought you would always hide behind the knights of the kingdom that rightfully belong to my lady, Anastasia Hoshin. Not only did you steal the crown for the half-elf but managed to bribe all of the kingdom's citizens and low nobility with your fake councils! What limit do they place on you? What limit is there to your complete authority?!” The Finest of Knights charged against the mirror, exchanging blows with someone outside of view. “I know of your sins! You manipulated Lady Felt into leaving so that you could exploit Reinhard! You turned my dearest friend into a tool for yourself! Shame on you! Did you fake being his friend too?!” His words were uttered with heavy breaths, the past weeks nothing but sleepless nights caused by Subaru’s plots and his numerous attempts to infiltrate various prisons all around.

The unseen fight continued. With thousands of previous attempts not shown, the last showdown was one where Julius was absolutely overpowered. Everyone of his moves was useless, seen and accounted for. A jaded and exhausted Finest of Knights was fighting against Providence. He couldn't but lose.

His sword was eventually disarmed from him. His spirits, terrified, ran away after being overpowered by Subaru’s horrendous miasma. Filled with wounds, Julius fell backwards. “Monster! You did nothing but bring suffering and upheaval. And worse than that, you lowered Anastasia to your playfield!”

“Do not act like she is any better, Julius.” Subaru snarled back, not unlike his past self.

“She…the things she almost helped do…the things I almost couldn’t stop! I…I blame them all upon you! You were the one that poisoned her courageous heart! Who bathed her in rage! If only you had never come! If only you had died fighting the Witch of Envy!”

“I did, Julius.”

“I…I hope you will see your payback. If Od Laguna hears my plea, you won’t have a restful night ever again. You will have carved in your flesh what you did to Felix, to Reinhard, to all of those you call a friend! Poison is what I call you! What you are! A curse! How can you even look at Lady Emilia when you are yourself?!”

The mirror looped on that last word. “You have always searched for excuses, Julius. What you both did was in your hands, the same way my actions were in mine.” His hand went to the mirror. “But you are right, still. No matter how much I envy you, I could never be like you. A shining knight that saves the day.” The mirror cracked. “And, despite my best intentions, I shall hate both of us for it.”

The mirror cracked. Six left. Subaru sighed. What a long night this would be. His steps, a snail pace, finally carried him to confront the next mirror, a golden one.

Garfiel, sitting on the floor with the head lowered, muttered. “You know, at first I was angry. Angry at you for never telling me. But, when I saw her face, I really could not say anything at all. She had made a new family. She had left me and Frederica behind. And she was happier for it.” Garfiel got off the floor, his energy permanently depleted. “Tell my sister I am fine. No need to worry over her stupid little brother. I will go back to Sanctuary.” He sighed. “I know it's been very long overdue but, boss, thank you for giving me space. You are still a bastard, but a bastard I thanked.”

“I did not want this for you, Garfiel.”

“I know, boss. Despite everything, I know. You wanted to protect us, and you did.” He breathed in. “Despite everything, know this. That you saved our lives.”

“Lies!”

“That we couldn’t go on was more on us than on you, boss. You can only do so much. And nothing when we were the ones to give up on ourselves.”

Another punch struck a second mirror.

“It ain’t your fault, that I will tell you. Blame yourself for everything else, but not for me. Not for Frederica. I know you tried.”

Subaru grabbed the mirror, his arms incapable of moving it enough to throw it. The looping ‘tried’ was insanely grating. He put a bleeding hand on the mirror. He snickered, a tear falling down his eye. That it would be Garfiel the one to say these sweet nothings was humorous. “I tried, yes. But trying does not matter. Only successes carry on. Only victories are written down. Can the work be finished if you are all miserable? No, no it cannot. I could have done more. I will do more. But, thank you for your words, Garfiel.”

The mirror cracked.

“I had never expected for you to come to view me with respect. The feeling is mutual, Garfiel.” He closed his eyes, a tear fell down. “But I refuse them nonetheless.”

The mirror broke.

He looked to the next mirror. Five left. 

A blue haired oni maid appeared in the mirror. Subaru saw her wake up from her bed, grab the closest weapon to her and strike at the Subaru of the past. The unwelcomed fight against a regretful Subaru could only end up in her overpowering him. Before she could strike him down, her eyes broke through the haze that his permanent miasma caused on her. “Su-Subaru-kun? What…What happened to you? I…” She gasped and her weapon readied further. Backing away she threw it away as fast as she could. “I…I…”

“I know, Rem. It’s been a while.”

Her gaze went from her hands to his face. His regret turned into worry. “Subaru? Are you…alright?”

Subaru gifted her the same fake smile of always.

“...” As she tried to say anything, nausea overpowered her and she had to turn to the side to puke. Wiping her mouth, she could not even afford to look at Subaru or she would lose control again. “Are…are you still my hero?”

“...”

Her face widened. Tears from her irritated eyes streamed down her face and she ran away trying to protect him from herself as her resistance wavered.

Subaru lowered his head. He hadn’t had the heart to answer back then. He gingerly placed his hand on the mirror, the echoing steps of her retreat stabbing him repeatedly. “You know, Rem, I spent longer thinking back about my proposal to you than anything else. By my later years, there would be entire weeks where I would do nothing but daydream.” He let out a small laugh at that. His ability granted him that privilege, he had infinite time if he managed it well, after all. “What would our children look like? How happy would we have been? Those questions always brought me a smile. And…” He looked down. “Guilt. Lots of it. I missed you everyday, Rem, I wanted nothing but to spend my life with you.” 

His hand trailed the mirror, drawing the house of his dreams. Small, simple, with a bit of a garden. Not a palace that was nothing but a jail. “But the opportunity is gone. You are gone. I am no longer the hero you loved. I do not deserve you nor would I bring you anything but pain.” The mirror started to crack. “I loved you, Rem. I always did.” His voice choked up at the end as the mirror came crashing down. “And because I loved you I will push you so far away you will forget all about me. You deserve nothing less.”

He advanced towards the next mirror, determined. This trial would not prove him wrong. He deserved none of them and he had deserved this outcome.

Ram was next. Curtsying, she started, “My liege, Ram and Rem will be leaving your service from today onwards. May the realm continue to prosper under your tutelage.” Her gaze did not move to his face. “Please, do not search for us.” 

Subaru nodded.

“And, lastly, never ask us for help ever again.”

The mirror glitched again. Subaru shook his head. Their relationship had never been the same. It had gone straight down to servant and lord, nothing more. There was no connection left when she went away. Rem followed her. The mirror crashed by itself. The feelings had long died.

Subaru simply nodded at the mirror. As he turned, he whispered, “I did never deserve your trust.”

He soon arrived at the next one, a silver one. On it, Emilia turned to him.

“Oh, Subaru! I have missed you so much! I was wondering, did I do a good job today’s morning? It was hard, so if you could praise me!” Her obsessive gaze was on him, her hands grasping her clothes so as to not let him get away. “And, you see, I also did my hair the way you told me to! What’s more, I also finished the very hard book about Vollachian court procedures!”

Subaru closed his eyes. The trial made him see all the same

Emilia nuzzled against the tired hand that went for her head. “I knew you would be happy! After all, you not being happy would make me sad! And you would leave too! And I would be all alone!” The chirp and happiness in her voice did an one eighty into sheer panic. Her mana ran out of control and his hand started to freeze. “Oh, Oh no!!” Her eyes went to his hand not with worry but with fear. Fear he would get angry. Fear his love would lessen. Her hands grabbed his and melted the ice off, healing the wounded skin below. “I am so sorry!!”

“It’s alright, Emilia-tan. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Are you sure?! I can do things to pay you back! Just tell me what to do like you always do! I need to make this right! Should I work harder, should I bring you a gift, should I apologise? This keeps happening despite your instructions so I must have done something wrong. What do I do, Subaru?”

The mirror glitched on that last word.

Subaru looked at the haunting image. “In the end, this is my sin alone, Emilia. I fought your battle in your stead, I kicked away all you cared about so that you would not remember the past, I took all of your choices from you. I made you a doll, just as Roswaal wanted. And I was not brave enough to try and fix it.” His hand was placed on the cristal.

“But, this time, you will be you, Emilia. Not Emilia-tan. You will be free to become your own person through your own choices. Not mine.” Cracks started to appear. “...I loved you, Emilia. Utterly. I will make it so that you are not burdened by this knowledge this run.” The mirror crashed down

Subaru breathed in. Next mirror it would be. As he walked forward, he stopped. Laid against the mirror, a sword he would never forget was sheathed. Subaru turned to the mirror. The sound of wind and waves started to play as Reinhard stood, blade in hand and ready to throw it.

Startled, he turned around. “Subaru? I was…” He stopped to listen to a voice.

Subaru paled, his mind moving to replay in his head the words he had uttered that day.

Reinhard shook his head. “Because I no longer am worthy of it, friend.” Reinhard’s eyes went to the body of water in front of him. “I failed my grandmother, I failed my grandfather, my father and my mother. And I failed my Lady. Someone like me does not deserve this sword, this title. I can’t be what I can’t be.”

Reinhard moved his gaze backwards. “Well, I intend to be Reinhard. Simply Reinhard. A weak, incapable man that, if you would allow, would be grateful to call you a friend, Subaru. Once I throw this, I may no longer be the Sword Saint. I may no longer be a hero, a knight. But I will remain…” Reinhard’s thoughtful expression shattered like the mirrors of before under scathing words. 

Subaru stared, wordlessly, the words he had said that day replying in his mind. ‘But, Reinhard, you are a true hero, and a hero is all you can ever be. You are the Sword Saint, Reinhard Van Astrea, hero of Lugunica. You are what you are. And you can’t, shouldn’t change.’

Reinhard’s expression darkened. He looked away. “But, friend, I have failed. I brought nothing but shame to the title. How could I ever…”

‘Just fake it, Reinhard. Or, better, become the Sword Saint. You failed because you acted as you, Reinhard, not as the hero you are. If you believe Hero is your mask, discard everything else until it becomes who you are. It would be disrespectful to the ones that fell otherwise. What would your grandmother say if she saw you today?’

Reinhard backed a step, getting dangerously close to the edge. Subaru’s words, carefully constructed and managed during millions of loops, struck the weak metal of his determination to forge a tool for Emilia. For Him. “What…I…I can’t do it, friend, please. Not you too.”

‘You can’t just leave because you are you, Reinhard. You know what you are. You know what you can only ever be. We are monsters who hunt monsters, Reinhard. But you are a monster wearing the hide of a hero. Act like it. You failed Felt once before as a knight, will you fail Emilia too? One who needs you? One that relies on you? Will you fail the kingdom next? The innocent, the ones who look up to you? Will you unmask the monster and kill the Hero? Will you run away from your burden because it got too much to handle? Are you a coward to boot?’

“I…I never intended to, I would never…I…”

‘Then why would you, the Sword Saint, ever throw away your sword? A knight without a blade? A warrior without a weapon? A Hero without hope? Stop acting selfishly, Reinhard. I am ashamed of having ever viewed you as a friend. But, behind us, back in the mansion, there’s a boy that looks up to Reinhard the Hero. There’s an innocent woman that needs Reinhard the Knight. There’s a country that needs Reinhard the Sword Saint to save it from the Witch Cult. Now, tell me, Reinhard. Who needs Reinhard the friend? Reinhard the civilian? Reinhard the monster? Who and what can you save when you refuse to be what you are?’

Reinhard baked another step, rocks tumbling down to the cold waters below. The cold wind resounded stronger. It started to rain. Reinhard looked down.’ “You…you are right. I…I wanted to run away from those questions. It…it was shameful.”

‘Then say it, Reinhard, so that I may still believe in you. Who are you?’

His eyes blinked as the rain wet his face. As the light inside them died a bit more. “I am the Sword Saint, Reinhard Van Astrea.”

The mirror glitched in the last two words of the declaration of a person who had also decided to kill themselves for their perceived duty.

Subaru stood still without saying anything. Oh, how many excuses he had armed himself to pick apart at all of Reinhard’s bleeding scars. Oh, how many restless nights he had spent after, incapable of sleeping after having killed his only friend. Poor, little, worthless Subaru. What had the world made him do, right?

He walked ahead, facing the mirror. “I made you my tool, Reinhard. I did so willingly, knowing what it would do to you and with no certainty that it would be truly necessary. I stepped on your trust, your personality and ground you down until you were but dust in the shape of a title that was never vital for the world. I killed my friend and, for most of my life, the only person I cried about was myself. I despised having done so but, as it felt a necessity, I never pitied you nor did I feel sorry for you, Rein. Only for myself. I felt like I was the real victim that your presence always reminded of their crimes. I cried over the fact that I felt like I had to make you what you were.” He placed his hand on the mirror.

“And I won’t apologise for it now. I do not have the right, Rein. My sleepless nights will continue, for wickedness like mine deserves no rest.” The mirror cracked. “But I promise you this. Your mother will walk again. The kingdom will appreciate you. Your family will take you back. And you won’t ever be considered a monster. Not by them, not by yourself.” The cracks extended. “And I will never act like I ever made it right. Like I ever needed to do it. I will do it because it must be done, not out of a shameful desire to make amends but because it is what you deserve, Rein. You will get your happy ending and the Archbishop of Pride, who thought he believed better before, will die a forgotten evil. But he himself will never forget his sins.” 

He closed his eyes as the glass flowed downwards. “And I shall make it so that you can throw that cursed sword whenever you feel like, old friend. I once chained you to a title you wanted not. For now on, every waking moment of mine will be spent granting you the choice to throw it away.”

He looked to his right. A last mirror, surrounded by half burnt books. “Getting melodramatic, aren’t we?” He mussed out loud, the biting words directed at the observing Witch of Greed. He advanced still, the last part of the trial incoming.

…

This mirror showed him a mere image. Beatrice, sat on the floor of the Library, head in her legs. It continued on and on, showing only his visits once every two weeks. A man made of patience, Subaru waited as seconds, minutes, and hours came to be. They soon morphed into days. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades. After a point, his visits stopped.

Time went on. Centuries came and went, rotting the books and room, sealing it from outside the whole and deteriorating the walls and columns. Millenia settled in. The fake Library came crushing down on an unmoving spirit. The mirror glitched with that sound, a never ending rumbling that carried the fear of all toppling down.

His existence to her had been a brief second surrounded in a timeless sea of misery. One he had only worsened. He placed his hand on the mirror, having been shown his worst fears. He had killed Beatrice, a fact he had known for long. The mirror came crashing down, his determination set in stone for a long, long time and anchored in acceptance. “I will get you out of there, Beako. I will dispel your despair no matter how much you blame me for it. Should it come to be, I will become your nemesis, your shadow.” He sighed. “Hate me for it, please.”

A voice resounded around him. “Interesting, very interesting results.” Echidna appeared from nothingness. “I can’t believe you managed to fool yourself with that flimsy determination of yours… but a result is a result and a deal is a deal. You passed the first test.”

“I fooled no one. I meant everything I said.”

“That is the problem, old contractor of mine.” Her cryptic smile was present as she tilted her head. “You have faced your past twice yet arrived at two solutions that, despite how different they seem, at their core are mere equals and both have granted you acceptance and the will to walk forward. One became the will of an overbearing knight, the other will become an ashamed shadow. Both want to do the same thing. I do not know if you have changed so much that you have become a different person or if you haven’t moved a single inch from who you were and are exactly as you were before taking my contract.”

Subaru shrugged. “You are the Witch of Greed, that question is for you to solve.”

At that Echidna’s smile widened. “Indeed. You had found your answers and I found my questions. Still, I am a bit disappointed that both first trials arrived late to you. After all, you had already found your answers on both occasions.”

Subaru gave a slow nod. Raising an eyebrow, he started, “So, where’s the catch? Shouldn’t you be stabbing at my vulnerabilities to try and make a pact with me?”

At that Echidna roared in laughter. “That is precisely why I am not doing anything of the sort.” Her smile grew even more. “As you are now, I know you will fail again and so you will welcome me again. You are too logical and prone to hoping to do otherwise.” She tilted her head. “I wonder, will we keep doing this game for the rest of forever, trapped in time by the Witch of Envy? Does the question not make you shudder in excitement, my soon to be contractor?”

“No.”

Echidna rolled her eyes. “I am in your mind, Subaru, you would do well not to simply lie to me.”

Subaru shook his head. “Before you kick me out again, a last thing.” Subaru stared at his companion for millions of years. While there had been a lot of bad. An enormous portion of bad. Most of it had been bad. Almost all of it. There had been glimpses of light. He had missed her, even if only just barely.

Echidna tilted her head to the other side.

“Thank you for this. It felt…different than talking to myself.”

Echidna fell speechless. 

“I was able to see my old…friends again, so, no matter what reason you chose this method for, no matter how painful it was, thank you.”

“...and you remain an incomprehensible human to the end. Are you sure you do not want to ditch the rest of the trial and reform your pact with me? You are so fascinating it is frig…I am repeating myself, but the offer stands.”

Subaru snickered at that. His sound, honest and tainted by small joy, startled the Witch further as the room started to collapse.

Subaru turned around and headed to the wall at his back. “Ah, and it was good to see you again, Echidna. I am grateful for that too even if I say ‘hell no’ to your contract. Can’t say I missed you though.”

“...another lie.” Whispered the Witch as the man left the dream.

…

Subaru opened his eyes. Surprisingly, there was a tiny source of light in the once frigid tomb. Slowly taking his body into account, he spat some dust away from his lips. Looking around he tried to discern its source, his vision came upon two feline eyes. 

“Oh, Garfiel, funny you are here. So…you see…”

The eyes blinked and the boy turned around. “Get off the floor and clear your face first, I rather not talk to someone whose words are cracking. It’s a bother.” His body in tension, he looked around. “And don’t think it's wood before the axe, there are going to be consequences.”

“Just kill me after I warn Emilia about the contents of the first Trial.” Subaru slowly got up, wiping his face of blood and tears with a handkerchief from one of his pants' pockets.

Garfiel frowned, not that Subaru could see. “You talking like you are gonna make her do the trials.”

“Because she is the one who will free the Sanctuary. I won’t ever do it.”

“...what?!” Garfiel, turning around with inhuman agility, grabbed Subaru by the collar and raised him in the air. “You insult me, betray your word, come into the Tomb and supposedly pass the first trial and yet you say that? Do not take me for a fool! I am not blind to Roswaal’s fucking plans. I…”

“Neither I am, sir Garfiel.” Subaru’s death glare was enough to cut off his fiery speech. “And I intend to squash any and all schemes of that clown. That I can promise on Lady Emilia’s honour.”

Garfiel growled, calming down slightly. “Then why enter here?!”

“Lady Emilia will need to prepare. I, as her shield, will always go first into danger.”

“...you ain’t hot shit, you know?” His tone forcefully aggressive, Garfiel let go of his shoulders. 

Subaru, after landing gracefully, moved his hands to rearrange his shirt’s collar and he turned to the exit. “Now…how to do this…”

“How about just speaking the truth, walking suit.” Garfiel shrugged, hands on the back of his head. 

“If I do that miss Ram will murder me in cold blood, sir Garfiel.” His deadpan tone made Garfiel skip a step. 

“Yeah, she would. So get to it.”

Both started to walk. Garfiel, having mellowed out by seeing the walking suit balling his eyes out, was willing to entertain that what Emilia’s camp had said about him being inoffensive may be true. “So, walking suit, how did you fell the Archbishops?”

“Blew up Gluttony via trap made of firestones. Greed got sent to space. Sloth…” He patted his bastard sword. “And a bit of oil from sir Otto.”

“A lot of playing dirty then. Would offend me if your targets weren’t who they were.”

“I am not as powerful as you, sir Garfiel. Tricks and preplanning is how I win. Now, if we may branch a second topic…” Subaru finished his readjustments with a tug at his gloves. “You really should release the hostages.”

“Huh?!”

“Think about it. Lady Emilia, half elf, is already here so we are not leaving. Food, housing and services are also not free. If anything, you would be the one winning without them.”

“...” Garfiel slowed down. “...how do you…”

“Please, sir Garfiel, I am not blind to politics.”

“...…Yeah, that’s really how it is, isn’t it? The half-elf can’t leave, we avoid rifts and internal conflicts and we reduce the need for food supplies.” He sped up again. “Looks like you are right, walking suit, there’s no need to keep them in. But I am not the head of this place, granny’s…right, you have yet to meet her.”

“You seem to be harder to convince, sir Garfiel. And, despite my progress from before, we both know that I will lose in a proper one at one, so I prefer to talk this with you first.”

“Huh.” Garfiel side-eyed the black-haired man. “...you got very honest all of a sudden, why’s that?”

“...” That shut Subaru up. After a few seconds of walking in silence, he mumbled, “The trial…was a bit rougher than I expected. Let us say there are…lingering emotions, sir Garfiel.”

“I see.” Garfiel looked ahead, exit now in view. “Well, you go convince Granny if you can. But I got a condition.”

“And it is…?”

“If the half-elf’s not up to the task, you take over.”

Subaru frowned. ‘This is…surprising…I never remember Garfiel siding with me.’ “Are you sure that’s wise?” He heard himself say. “I know I act and am suspicious, sir Garfiel. Wouldn’t it be a problem should your worries prove true?”

Garfiel waved his questions away. “Like a crybaby in a suit would ever be dangerous. Like you said, I can beat your ass up so no problem.” He shut his mouth as they approached the entrance.

“Subaru, are you alright?! No…What were you thinking?!” Emilia’s face changed from relief to anger as she rushed towards him.

Garfiel patted him in the back, pushing him forward. His gaze, on his back.

Subaru raised a hand as he recomposed himself and dusted his suit. “Everything’s alright, Lady Emilia. I thought it wise to do a thorough check before Roswaal had the chance to stop me.”

“That’s duplicitous!” Patting him over, she searched for any injuries. Reaching his hands, she noticed his nails had scratched rocky ground till they bled and came off. “You always just jump head first into danger! How many times will you end up on a bed before you decide to stop!”

Subaru looked over her as she healed his hands. His eyes teared up again, thing that Garfiel did not miss. Looking away from her, he mumbled. “My apologies, Lady Emilia, but it is the most sensible option. That’s my duty as a knight, unofficial as I may be.”

“That’s not a workable excuse, Subaru!”

“Lady Emilia, if I may interject, how about we do not mount such a ruckus at midnight?”

“Midnight?” Subaru looked up. The moon mocked him with its light. “...how long was I out? Around four hours, fifty five minutes and thirty three seconds and counting?”

“That’s…oddly specific and surprisingly exact, but yes. That’s how long we were waiting in the cold, dark night so that you, sir, finished your stroll at your leisure." Ram interjected, her eyes only deviating for half a second to his bleeding hands. “So, how did you fail the trial?”

“Actually, I succeeded. But!” That word cut their trails of thought. “There are three in total. The first is to face your past.” Subaru eyed Emilia, who had finished healing him. “What did Roswaal say about…?” He let his words die as Emilia’s expression saddened. “Alright. But do not worry, he will come back.” 

Subaru looked to the trees in front as he started to calculate. Should nothing change, he would have around half a week. “If you shall apologise, I will go talk with miss…granny.” Subaru turned to Garfiel, his face a question.

He shrugged. “Weren’t you the smart ass know all?”

Subaru sighed. Ram, hiding her smile well, did not seem to want to help. “So be it, I will search for…someone. May you all rest well.”

…

His memory slowly coming back, it was fairly easy to find where Ryuzu lived. The following conversation went well, too well too. The clone even offered several concessions and agreed for the preparations to take place over a week. That was…unexpected. Walking back to Roswaal’s house, Subaru got ready for the last conversation of the day.

Not knocking on the door, he silently entered the room. Inside, a waiting Roswaal was laying on a bed, his body filled with injuries. At his left, Ram slept on a wooden chair next to him. Shrugging, Roswaal put a finger on his lips to signal at Subaru to be quiet.

His trained stealth struggled not to make no sound as he walked to Roswaal. Pulling a notebook, he pulled a pen he had crafted and got to writing.

“So, clown, here we are. I expect you to not be angry over the slightly sped up plans for I am sure your assassins will be able to switch up their little scheme when they see us waltz in a bit sooner than expected, right?”

Roswaal, smiling a bit at the letters, grabbed the lent pen and, with a flourish, his beautiful writing began filling the page. “How could I be angry when Teacher was so keen on meeting you that she made the Trial happen today? If anything, you could simply take what is offered and we would return. No need for that half-elf to break over the Trials. You should have seen her as she talked with me…so sad, so vulnerable, so very weak…”

The tiny scratching noises, way less than a quill, were unable to wake up Ram. Subaru stopped mid sentence. ‘He…he could stop right now? Isn’t that…Emilia-tan is still…!’ “Like I would ever believe a And how could I be sure that you would follow through? Once you win our little bet I myself would be in your clutches. The others would not be needed and you would discard them.”

“Oh, so little trust wounds my grievously injured heart!” Roswaal mockingly drew a broken heart. “Yet, you are, of course, right. There are no insurances apart from a bit of gratitude for fastening the ending of this predestined yet useless pout of yours. We would simply not waste six days in your infantile rejection of reality and we could get working on what really matters.” Roswaal underlined the last word several times.

Subaru rolled his eyes and flipped a page.

“To think that a four-hundred-year-old man dressed and acting like a clown would call another infantile...and here I was believing I had seen all that there was to see in this boring world. So be it, I will treat you as an absolute obstacle…” Subaru gazed at Ram. He clicked a setting on his pen. “And I will bold something here, you do not deserve her nor will you get her. Your disgusting, rotten self will taint her no longer should I get a say.”

“I will be very grateful, then, to my luck for having her bound to me be made eternal by a promise during the fires of an ending.” Roswaal smiled as he drew a small house on fire. “Now, as I am so very wounded, I will trust that you will find your way to your lodgings. I tried to not ruin the surprise.” Half a dozen small hearts and stars. “Oh, and I want one of these.” Roswaal pointed at the pen.

Subaru took back both the notebook and pen. Silently ripping the written pages, he threw them to the dying embers in the fireplace, reigniting a small and short fire. Standing on his full height, Subaru stared down the smiling clown for a few seconds before leaving. The closing of the door was so soft that Roswaal would not have noticed had he not been looking.

………

Chapter Text

(L̅MMCMLII)

Subaru’s morning was the same as always. First, he tested the respawn. His checkpoint seemed to be last night just before getting in bed. Shrugging, he slept in and then restarted to get a good, long night of sleep. Next loop he got up long before the sun showed its light. He started with his usual warm ups and the next hours were for his endurance and strength training. Between sets, a manly voice assaulted him.

“Huh, so walking suit wakes up before sunrise. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Subaru did not turn to the predatory voice as he kept doing his exercises. ‘Honesty seems to work.’ “Sir Garfiel, my apologies if I am interrupting your morning hunt. That was not my intention.”

“So is your intention to fake a good excuse when you lose our spar of today? Tiring yourself before the match…are you looking down on me?”

“Not at all, sir Garfiel. Precisely, I am training muscles I won’t use today.” Resting the rocks he had been using, he turned to Garfiel, covered in sweat and hands bleeding from the sticks he had grabbed. “You came here to talk about the duel, then?”

Garfiel looked behind. “I see you already talked with Granny. Why wait a week?”

“Moving too quickly would be counterproductive. And it would be suspicious, wouldn’t it? A week should be sustainable without big logistical problems. If you see it necessary, I will help with hunting if you call for it, sir Garfiel.” He tugged at his training shirt's long sleeves. “I only wanted to produce as little friction between both of our sides. It seemed like a good middleground.”

Garfiel scoffed but relaxed a bit. “Can see the logic.” He turned to him and gestured at the long sleeves with his chin. “You only ever wear long sleeves, walking suit?”

Subaru nodded. “I prefer them.”

“Why?”

Subaru tilted his head, thinking of how to answer. “The reasons are my own.”

“You mean to say you will cheat on our duel?!” Garfiel puffed up, his eyes glowing. “Like I would ever let you fight me when you could be hiding tricks like Papacalok during the bridge war.”

“You are weirdly aggressive over the smallest things of all.” Subaru shrugged and lowered his sleeves as if it was no one's business. On his arms, countless lines of Roman numerals lived in the form of scars.

Garfiel lost all previous excitement. His face turned into a frown.

“It’s a hobby of mine. I use my arms as tallies for the amount of tries things take me. It’s an effective tool to keep my pride in check.” He moved the sleeves up. “These symbols are also the last thing I remember from my home…country?...Nevermind that, I seem to have forgotten their origin.” His empty gaze returned to Garfiel, making his hair stand on end. ‘Why does he seem to dislike this honesty? Weird.’ He recalibrated his expression to make it slightly uncomfortable with a taint of regret from having answered. “I have trusted you with one of my only secrets, so, please, either forget it or do not share it without care. I would rather not add another.”

“...you give me the creeps, walking suit.”

Subaru’s expression turned confused. “Why? They are just tallies.” He sighed, not really expecting an answer to his why. 

Garfiel looked at him, a bit pale. He gave a slow nod. He pushed the pity out of his gaze. “Won’t tell another soul.” He looked away. “And keep your shirt during the duel. Can’t have that distracting me.” He scratched the scar on his forehead, eerily similar to some of his. He shuffled on his place, uncomfortable. “So…”

“Right, the rules for the duel.” Subaru tapped his lips, thinking about them.

“Huh? You serious ‘bout it? Walking suit, I take no pleasure in beating weak people. That’s only something Tunsunmaru would do. I had expected you to beg your way out the duel.”

“Should I go back on my word most of the time, trusting me would be unfeasible, wouldn’t it?” Subaru stared at him. “And, seeing as how you can’t deal fairly with my magic, how about a normal duel? No magic, no Divine Protections, only fists and kicks?”

Garfiel stared at the man, taking measure of him for a fourth time. He smirked and nodded. “Can take that deal, walking suit.”

“Great!” Subaru clapped his hands. “And, to make it spicy, how about the winner gets a favour from the other? Nothing to do with Sanctuary nor the trials.”

At that Garfiel laughed. “So you want to be in my debt, walking suit?” His smirk widened as his eyes pierced the black-haired man. “So be it, sounds fun to me.”

Subaru sneered. “Then, let’s put a time limit of ten minutes and to win the other opponent must surrender, are you fine with these rules?”

Garfiel frowned and waved his hand while nodding. “Too much thinking about the details, walking suit. We are gonna beat each other out, not discuss realm politics like we are Likutus and Maripus.

Subaru bowed at that. “My apologies for coming out as overbearing, sir Garfiel.”

“Whatever, just do not ditch it. Just before lunch, alright? I want to smack your face in so that food tastes better.”

“It shall be done at that time.”

Garfiel rolled his eyes. “You really a walking suit through and through.” Hands on the back of his head, Garfiel vanished just as quickly as he had come.

Subaru stared at the place he had left. ‘So you could be this friendly.’ He returned to his exercise, never having thought about a bird that had been in the perfect place to look at their conversation. The little pleasures and sights of life he was blind to, after all.

…

A worried Emilia shuffled on her place as she looked over the man and boy who were getting ready to fight.

“You really came here in a suit?” Befundle, Garfiel’s gaze was on the man, who had readied himself as if this meeting had been a ball and not an overly glorified tavern brawl. “I do not getcha, man.”

Subaru tugged at his collar, flattening whatever crashes it had. “It’s the knight’s uniform, if in another colour and with a few brushes of personalization.”

“What sir means is that he can’t leave his room without it.” Quipped Ram, back against a tree and cold expression overseeing the duel. The more minutes she wasted here the less she could be with Roswaal and so she prayed for Garfiel to end this in a move.

“Knight Subaru does have a weird attachment to it…” Muttered Rem, wondering about the reason.

“Well, I can see why knight Natsuki dressed like it. It fits his look and compliments his terrifying eyes.” Otto looked at his own clothes, way cheaper than that. He shuddered imagining himself in that get up. No, no. He was getting a bad feeling.

“Subaru, backing away in fear is not that big of a deal…” Muttered Emilia, loud enough for everyone to hear and with enough worry in her voice to be mistaken by his mother.

Subaru sighed, feigning tiredness by the colourful commentary. He tugged at his gloves and got ready in a stance.

“Well…” Garfiel smirked. “Try to last longer than three moves.” And he rushed in.

His speed, inhuman, was lower than the Bowel Hunter. His instincts, less developed than the Black Serpent. His fighting knowledge, awfully risible in comparison to Julius’ or Reinhard. And so, Subaru dodged the first punch with a simple weave. The air pressure of it told him that, had he been hit with the intent to, he could have died had Rem and Emilia not been right next to him.

Uncaring for the danger, he jumped left to evade Garfiel’s left hook. Just as it bypassed his head, Subaru struck below the arm to push it further up, making his stance unstable. Before Garfiel could punch in retaliation Subaru followed with a swift kick to his left leg behind the knee, further turning him towards the right and almost making him kneel. Growling, Garfiel punched with his right the nothingness that had been in front of him just a moment ago as Subaru danced around.

A second kick, now to the back of his right leg, knocked him to the floor. Garfiel rolled forward, refusing to be struck in the back again. As he stood up again, he noticed a waiting Subaru dusting his suit.

Garfiel’s growl loudened. “Warming’s over.”

Subaru nodded at that.

Now somewhat serious, Garfiel fought with all he had. His higher speed, durability and strength meant that Subaru had his hands full with only defense. Still, having thousands of years worth of experience on his opponent, Subaru kept dancing around him like he was a ghost, dodging, deviating and even returning some of his strikes with his own. Of course, this flow was impossible to maintain. Subaru’s body, still barely trained, was slowly overpowered by exhaustion.

After three minutes of fighting, Subaru was too slow to jump over a kick and was thrown to the ground with a loud crash. At the next second Garfiel was on top of him, hands on his neck. “I won.”

“And I surrender, yes.” Subaru was smiling at him, pride visible in his eyes, thing that surprised Garfiel.

“What the Od’s that look for, walking suit?”

“I am simply awed by your performance, sir Garfiel. The amount of training a young man such as you must have gone through is praiseworthy.” Subaru ignored his screaming body, crying out from pain and exhaustion. He meant every word. Garfiel had always been a menace. Being this inexperienced was not even a drawback as he would grow out of it.

Garfiel got off him and scratched under his nose. “Ti’s nothing, you are the one who should be ashamed…” Vulnerable to such direct compliments, Garfiel’s gaze looked around, not really meaning the dig. A relieved Emilia, a very surprised Rem and a cold Ram that was already returning to Roswaal.

“Same place tomorrow?” The words said next to him made him turn to Subaru. “I could use your training, sir Garfiel.”

“Why would I…” Garfiel loudly sighed. “Fine. Food’s gonna be tastier for a whole week.” He turned to Subaru. “The favour, yeah.” He put his hands behind the back of his head and snarled in a low voice. “Tell anyone you care about the matter of your arms. It could help. That’s the favour I want from you, walking suit.” And, like that, he left.

‘...how many sides of all of you have I never seen?’ Subaru kept his face blank as he walked towards Rem and Emilia. “I did not expect an audience to my defeat.”

“It is refreshing to see you lose, knight Subaru.” Rem stated, her words upbeat. “Have I missed today I would have never believed it.”

Subaru rolled his eyes at that. “I mostly lose, miss Rem.”

She frowned at that, not fully understanding yet the quip seemingly not feeling like a joke.

Emilia, taking advantage of the pause, jumped at Subaru. “Just a few bruises…I’m relieved.”

Subaru smiled slightly at her and nodded. “No worries, Lady Emilia. How are you faring?

Emilia puffed her chest. “I feel prepared for whatever confrontation I will meet today!” Filled with confidence, she was unlike what Roswaal had said. His inexperience with a lively Emilia was another smoke screen to her internal struggle.

Missing Rem’s worried gaze, Subaru nodded. “So be it. But, should you require my support at any point, say the word and I will be there. After all, I can enter the Tomb.”

Emilia nodded, resolute.

Subaru smiled at her and bowed again. “If you need me, I will be with the villagers to share the news and reassure them over the safety of their families back at Roswaal’s domain.”

Emilia opened her mouth to say something before hearing about the families. “Oh…I see. Good luck with that, Subaru! You will eat with them, then?”

Subaru nodded. “Do not worry about me, I will manage.” He turned to Rem. “Take care of Lady Emilia.”

Rem turned away from him. “That was already the plan, knight Subaru.” She had no right to ask for him to stay if Emilia had changed her mind, no matter what she herself thought about it.

At that Subaru faked a laugh and went on with his day, his fingers always tapping at his sides. Always counting the seconds. ‘I have four days until both Elsa and Meili attack the mansion. A few extra hours before the Great Rabbit and Roswaal join in. After that, Emilia-tan could easily spend a few weeks here with their good will to beat the Trials. I have to be ready but there’s no need to rush. Garfiel is even being…friendly. I am still surprised that it needed no resets but I should keep them in low numbers. The clones are watching.’

He looked up to the blue and grey sky, his eyes never seeing the beauty of the world. His attention, always inside himself. ‘Three days to remain.’

…

Otto sighed as he retrieved his fishing rod, the bait gone, again. His eyes went back to the small river in front, filled with fishes he could not get. It was always one pull away.

“Sir Otto, are you trying to boil the river with that stare?”

Startled, Otto jumped in his seat just enough to knock all of his fishing apparatus to the ground. “Damn it!” Rushing to collect it, another pair of hands went into the mess to help him rearrange everything. “K-knight Natsuki, I didn’t expect you to…”

“Be well enough after my duel to meet up with you?” With half a smirk, Subaru sat a few steps at Otto’s right.

“More like, comfortable with me after…”

“After the manor’s debacle?” Subaru scratched his head. “Yes, it should not have been…easy to see. My most sincere apologies for the chaos and for implicating you.” He stopped his words for a few seconds to put bait on the fishhook. “And…thank you for, well, offering your kindness to me as undeserved as it was. I believe these thanks were long overdue.”

Otto lowered his fishing pole, turning to face Subaru. “Knight Natsuki…” He sighed, switching his next words as he turned back towards the small river. “I accept those thanks gracefully. It was no problem.” He did as Subaru and threw his fishing line. “But what worries me is that you have come to talk to me before going to your friends.”

“Aren’t you part of that ‘friends’?”

Otto stiffened at that. The honesty in the words made him pause. “...still, you should talk with them before long. These…circumstances get worse the longer you leave them unattended.”

Subaru shrugged at that, his eyes focusing on a fish while his Invisible Providence sneaked up on it. “There’s nothing to attend to. We have diverging opinions on who and what I am and only I can decide those questions, no matter how much it disappoints them. I can only ever be myself, after all.” The shadow hand closed in on the fish, trapping it and getting it off the water. “Seems quite easy of a sport.”

“That’s because you are cheating!” Otto snarled back. Sighing, he went back to the original topic. “I believe it is less a matter of disappointment and more of…worry.” He shook his head as Subaru glared at him. “Really, knight Natsuki. And, as you said before, they can only be themselves. If they worry about you there’s nothing you can say to shake them of their beliefs.”

Subaru rolled his eyes. “Feelings change continuously, sir Otto. There’s no permanence in emotion.” He pulled another fish. “They are just…reacting too strongly. They will grow out of it.”

“Be that as it may, it does not make feelings irrelevant, Natsuki. They are still there, no matter how long or short they may be.” He lowered his gaze, not knowing how to get through him. “And I don’t think that discussion is something they will ‘grow out of’.” ‘If anything, they desperately want you to do that.’

“Changing the topic, are you up for extra work?”

Otto frowned. “That’s…awfully hasty of you. We just arrived at Sanctuary.”

He nodded. “I have a bad feeling and I want to check the mansion in a few days. Would you mind driving the carriage there?” He grabbed a third fish and pulled out his fishing pole, bait still attacked. “I should be able to get Rem to come with us.”

“...a bad feeling?” Otto turned towards the black haired man. His expression, apathetic, moved not under his scrutiny. He nodded. “I understand. I will get everything ready to leave for whenever, Natsuki.”

Subaru frowned at that. “Just like that? You make for a horrid merchant indeed.”

“I don’t think you are the type to skip duties.” Otto raised his own fishing pole, this one with the bait gone. “You are the type to withhold information and lie to push people out of danger. You seem to be doing the latter now.” He returned his eyes to the black haired man. “And while your lack of trust offends me, I will help you because you asked me. Yes, just like that because, If I can do anything about it, no friend of mine will jump into danger alone.”

Subaru went silent for a few seconds. Giving a slow nod, he mumbled, “There are things I can’t tell. It’s less me not trusting you and more me trusting you too much. My expectations of you, sir Otto, are that high.”

Repressing a smirk, he returned to put some bait on his fishing pole. “You sound awfully convincing when you want to, Natsuki-san. I will try to live to your expectations so that, one day, you may be fully honest with me.”

Subaru answered not as he threw his line on the river again, his mind ever scheming.

…

Finally, nightfall had come and Emilia stood in front of the Tomb. Breathing in, she looked back. Rem, Ram, Otto and Garfiel were there. Giving them a small nod, she looked ahead and stepped towards the first trial. The parallel steps at her right made her turn to it, finally noticing a Subaru tugging at his gloves.

“Huh?!”

Subaru turned to her and tilted his head just a bit. “Yes, lady Emilia?”

“Why…why are you following me?”

“That I can’t accompany you into your trial does not mean I won’t be there the rest of the way?” His sentence was worded a question, not understanding why she was doubting his actions. “I don’t want to have you wake up in a cold tomb all alone.”

“Oh…” Emilia blushed a bit and looked down. “Thanks.”

He gave a curt nod and finished his preparations. Emilia, with Subaru two steps behind, resumed their advance. The lights lit up.

“So…about…the thing you were arguing with Ram and Rem? Have you made up?” Emilia broke the silence, trying to fill the void that the oppressive darkness seemed keen on magnifying.

“There’s nothing to make up about, lady Emilia. There is a difference in opinions, simple as. There’s no underlying conflict. I have simply upset them over my choice of words and that’s something I will have to make amends for, but nothing else.” His silent steps did not echo like Emilia’s.

“I…don’t think that’s all it was. You seemed…hurt.” Her tone lowered. “And I don’t think either Ram or Rem meant their words fully but you did mean yours. Subaru…”

‘...dodging the issue would bring her back to the uncertainty of the trials…’ “I know they intended no harm, no worries lady Emilia.”

She shook her head. “I am worried about what you called yourself. About how you feel about yourself. I…I think I can understand a bit of it, a lot of people have called me insults like the ones you used against yourself...But you do not trust us.”

“I do lady Emilia.”

Her tone grew stronger. “You don’t! You trust us with your back, with jobs, missions and combat. With everything but the important bits. You do not trust us with you, with Subaru. You do not confide in us, you do not tell us how you are…You are so focused on us being alright that you do not see that we also want the same thing for you!” Her cheeks puffed out, slightly reddened by the intensity she tried to imbue in her words.

Subaru shook her head, never seeing the honesty and affection in them. “And there’s no need for that. I was fine. I am fine and I will be fine. If anything, I am the last one you should ever worry about. Have I ever failed you?”

“...that’s not the point, Subaru.” Emilia’s tone grew timid and gloomy. “...you were worried about me and came into the Trial with me, despite knowing that I was in no real danger, right? It’s the same thing.”

“But it’s very different, lady Emilia. I am your knight, it is my duty to care for you.”

“Then why did you care about Felt back then?”

“She was a convenient target during my shameful speech.”

“Reinhard, Wilhelm, Felix?”

“They are powerful and influential people that will help to have in your pocket.”

“Why then did you not let a single person die during the subjugations?!”

“Should I have?”

“Argh! You are too paradoxical!” Emilia stomped once on the floor.

“Nobody says paradoxical anymore.” The quip of so old came out with the same tonality as it always had. Subaru bit his tongue. 

That was a bad move as Emilia glared at him. “You are doing it again! You always deviate the topic when it starts to get too close to who you are with a quip, a joke, anything!” She let out a deep sigh to empty her excitement. “Subaru, you know a lot about us. You help me with my studies. You spar with Ram and Rem sometimes. You read books with Beatrice. You go out of your way so that we have a good time but we know nothing about you. What do you do for fun, what foods do you like…we don’t even know why you never sleep on a bed!”

Subaru missed a step. “Why would you ever want to know anything about me?”

“Because I want to!”

“...why?”

“...I-!” Emilia passed out mid sentence. Subaru, quick to react, grabbed her and, after readying the ground with a pillow and a blanket, he slowly rested her on the ground. Pulling another blanket, he covered half of her and sat on the bare ground.

…

It took a long while for Emilia to finish her first try. Her previous sleeping form started to spasm out of control. Subaru, ready next to her, started to call her name firmly. Waiting for her to come back, Subaru kept holding the hand that had grabbed onto him from the beginning, uncaring of how his fingers were starting to crack under the pressure. Grabbing a cheap metia, he lit a small light in the dark tomb.

Half awake and now just trembling, Subaru enveloped her in a hug. “It’s alright, you are here. It’s over. You are out.” Rubbing her back in slow circles, he held steadfast but every word, every gesture, was the definition of softness.

Slowly calming down, Emilia tried to blink the past away. “-huh…Su-Subaru?”

“Heya. Welcome back, Lady Emilia.” A warm smile and a determined gaze. “You did great. I am glad that you are safe. Can you stand or would you prefer to stay a few minutes like that? I recommend the latter.”

Emilia blinked a few times in quick succession again while she slowly focused on him, “Um…huh? Why am I?” She looked down to the makeshift bed she was in and the very dimly lit Tomb. The shadows, for now, kept at an arm’s distance thanks to the magic lamp.

“No problem in going about it slowly, Lady Emilia. Just take a deep breath.” Subaru imitated the motion, leading Emilia in a few calming exercises. “Great, you are doing great. Now, could you try and move your legs and arms a bit? See how they fare, any numbness, cramps, no need for overdoing it, alright? We have a lot of time.”

Following his words out of habit and a bit of confusion, Emilia kept the exercises going.

“Good, very good. Now, could you stand up? Let me help.” Grabbing her hands, not grimacing at his broken fingers, he raised her to her feet. Of course, that action came with Emilia now figuring out they were still inside the Tomb.

“That’s-that’s right! I took the Trial…and then…”

“Lady Emilia.”

“A-But I…I didn’t-no…that-I…I didn’t mean-mean to…to…” Rapidly breaking down, her tremors restarted.

Subaru hugged her again, whispering calming words to try and ground her again while slowly guiding her back to the makeshift bed. 

“It’s not like that…that-that…that kind of thing I…I didn’t! I really! I told you it’s not like that…it’s!”

Subaru guided her head to his shoulder, both his hands patting the former and her back at the same time. “It’s alright. It’s alright. It’s alright.”

“Don’t look at me with…those kinds of eyes…please. Don’t…it’s not like that…Why are…you are all leaving me all alone! Please no!” She started to sob, louder and louder, drowning out Subaru’s soft words, her body strengthless.

“I’m here, it’s alright.”

“...help…help daddy…Help me…Puck, Puck…Pu…ck…”

Subaru threw a deathly glare at the pendant, knowing fully well where the bastard was.

…

Rem grew worried as minutes passed without either of them leaving the Tomb. Her pleading gaze turned to Garfiel.

The boy shrugged. “Don’t go looking at me like that, maid. Not carrying the princess when walking suit is right there with her. Nothing dangerous is on the tomb so we have nothing left but to wait.”

Otto advanced a step. “Maybe I could enter myself? My gate’s not so powerful as to grant me injuries like Roswaal’s. If we really believe they are in danger, I should…”

Rem shook her head. “Let us wait, Em-Lady Emilia could be simply resting after such tribulation.”

“After failing you mean?” Garfiel raised an eyebrow, not dodging around the real issue.

Rem growled back at him, thing that only returned her a louder growl. “It would be appreciated, sir Garfiel, if you could respect your future ruler.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Future ruler? You mean that half-elf? She does not have the backbone. That I will tell you. Can’t have your knight doing the ruling.” Garfiel shook his head, not impressed by Emilia at all. “The first thing walking suit did was worry about the villagers. Did the princess do such a thing?”

“...she did not have the opportunity. We had to rush to Roswaal on important duties.”

“So the peasants can fend off by themselves until that’s done?” Garfiel sighed. “That’s a take from a bad drama, maid. A ruler should put their people first, not their worries that, from what I heard from Granny, were personal.”

“And you know a lot about putting people above yourself I take, sir Garfiel?”

Fury raged behind his eyes. Garfiel seemed to grow big as he advanced a step towards a fearless Rem. “Careful, maid, don’t go around poking Pikitus while they are waiting for water, could end up with you getting burnt.”

“The only thing I see here is a kid throwing big judgements from a position of safety.” Rem mirrored him and advanced a step. “Should Ram be here she would be disappointed in you.”

Otto tugged at the collar of his shirt and advanced a step. “I know that…”

“Shut up, merchant! / Do not interrupt us, sir Otto.”

Otto faked a cough and backed two, relenting due to two murderous glares yet sweating even more. He noticed by the corner of his eyes an approaching Ram and he had never been happier to see a maid in his life. “Oh, miss Ram! Did you come for…”

Ram did not throw him even a glance as she turned to Rem. “Sister, while I understand your emotions, it is not the moment to stop being considerate of others, no matter who they are.”

“And me?! Where’s some of that consideration going to…” Ram turned to him and shushed his complaint.

She turned to Garfiel. “And you, really? Picking up on the royal candidate your lord and ruler is personally supporting? There should be limits to recklessness.”

“Too late for flowery, big words, Ram.” His deathly stare had not moved from Rem. “I won’t let go of insulting words like those, maid. You know nothing of what I am protecting or have sacrificed for!” Growled Garfiel, fully ready to fight.

Rem took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. Bad, very bad idea, as the miasma of the Tomb, right next to them, only worsened her ire. “Oh, really? Because what I am seeing is a scared child lashing out at everyone!”

“Rem!” Bellowed Ram. 

Too late, Garfiel had jumped and was…floating in the air a few metres in front of Rem, hands in her chains? Growling, Garfiel thrashed around, his inertia making him rotate faster and faster as he had no foothold nor any place to really exert his strength. He was as powerless as a cat that had been grabbed by the back of his neck. Like a plushie in a washing machine.

“I leave for two hours, forty three minutes and twenty one seconds…” Subaru darkly whispered as he exited the tomb, Emilia being princess carried on his arms and covered by one of the blankets. “And there is an absolute ruckus. The one who wakes Emilia-tan up gets hell, we all clear?”

The four of them, silenced, nodded. Garfiel even stopped moving, noticing the dreadful state of the half-elf, still crying in her sleep. He looked at Garfiel and then at Rem.

“Rem-chi, while I understand that you were answering insult with insult, never, never diminish sir Garfiel’s sacrifices. He has given a lot for Sanctuary, more than someone in his position should ever have to do.”

Rem lowered her head, the miasma with Subaru getting worse yet his willful gaze able to counteract its effects. “I apologise. I let my emotions get the better of me.”

Subaru nodded then turned to Garfiel as he delicately let him touch ground. Now in front of him, Subaru bowed his head. “My most sincerest regrets for that, sir Garfiel, but to let a fight between ourselves go on is not on the cards.”

The fear having cooled his anger and Rem’s regrets and Subaru’s defense making him think back on what he had said, he scratched his head and turned halfway away. “No problem. It was my big mouth’s fault.”

“Oh, Garfiel admitting his faults?” Ram looked up to see if the sky was falling on them. “Huh…”

“I know my biggest weakness better than anyone!” Snarled back Garfiel before covering his mouth in a panic.

Subaru’s deathly glare relented. “Now, miss Ram and miss Rem, could you take care of Emilia? She needs companionship from dear friends today.” He moved towards them yet did no movement to pass them the sleeping Emilia, his arms unconsciously trying to comfort her. “And try to let the matter of the Trials rest for today, alright? There’s really no rush, everything is accounted for. We can just take it easy, alright? Tell that to Emilia-...to Lady Emilia.” There really wasn’t. Completing the Trials was not a now thing. They could send food, water, everything they needed once the problem at the manor was dealt with. If the Great Rabbit…He would deal with it. Emilia will do it her way.

Both Ram and Rem relaxed a bit. Rem, taking on the duty of carrying Emilia after a bit of soft tugging, nodded. “We shall do as we are told. Yet, we are expecting you too. You are her friend, you believing that or not does not matter. She will appreciate it if you are supporting her the same way you did today.”

Ram interjected too. “Seeing as how you are in no apparent rush, I expect our last discussion to be resumed whenever you feel like answering to us, sir. Nevertheless, and as you have just said, Lady Emilia takes preference, for now.” She did her best to mask her worry over Emilia, her friendship with her stronger than the original loop.

“Just…do not let her fall down. She may hurt herself if she falls.” His gaze never left the sleeping Emilia on Rem’s arms.

The maids relaxed a tiny bit more, seeing his honest worry over her. Doing their best to be silent, the two maids left towards their provisional house. Subaru sighed, his gaze following them. ‘Did I do the right thing or have I remade the past I was trying so hard to leave behind?’ His gaze returned to the Tomb behind, the spectre of a broken Emilia being ordered out by himself.

“Lady Emilia will be fine, knight Natsuki. She is made of tough stuff. Even I can see it despite how little we may know of each other.” Otto muttered, having walked next to him and placing a hand on Subaru’s left shoulder.

Surprised by the approach he had not seen, Subaru did his best to not flinch at the sudden contact. “I want to trust her too but, sometimes, the past is a bit too hard to face.”

Garfiel, shaking his head, also joined in. “You say that, walking suit, but your body looks ready to rush into the Tomb and face it. And, really, after seeing her like that I can’t blame ya. You should heed my words and take the Trials yourself, walking suit. Damned be Roswaal’s plan to get the princess the support of the people of Sanctuary. You are her knight so your wins are hers.” He turned towards where the women had just left. “Besides, is it so important to overcome the past?”

Subaru's eyes followed his gaze. “...having her seen just like this, I have come to believe it is a priority. For Lady Emilia’s sake.”

“I thought you her shield, walking suit. Would you throw her to the wolves of her nightmares now?” Garfiel’s irate gaze returned to him, some part of it fueled by personal experience. 

“Sir Garfiel, if I may,” Subaru whispered, his body language apathetic. “The past will always be there. Every day you look in a mirror, in a river, in whatever reflection that shows you back, in the landmarks around, in buildings and in the face of the people you know, love and/or care for now, it will always be there. Lurking. Taunting. Blaming.” His gaze got lost in the trees, his voice calm yet burdened with melancholy. “And you can’t outrun it, you can’t outhink it and, less of all, forget it. It’s a shadow that will never leave until you square up to it, spit on its face and rekt its shit in.” His last words contained energy that made both of the men let out the breaths they had been holding in.

“Yes, there’s nothing to gain from losing oneself in your past. But neither from running away can you gain anything from it. You will find no life changing lesson in a retreat, no epiphany, no closure. It will become an ever bleeding wound that will never scar.” Subaru blinked and returned to a pale and fearful, to a very small Garfiel. “And it hurts like hell to look in that mirror and face what is behind. Was I at fault? Did I do everything I could? Is it true what I think about it? Those questions will be there, sir Garfiel. Only by answering them will they light a new way.”

“...so how did you do it, walking suit? How did you face your past?” Garfiel mumbled by accident.

Subaru smirked. A combative, bloodthirsty smirk, but a smirk nonetheless. “I smashed my head against the wall until I saw that the pain was just a shield for me.” His hand went to his forehead, countless deaths suffered that way. “A coward's way out so that I did not try to fight it. Find it. Resolve it. And that made me hate myself so much that I refused to keep looking away. I pushed past myself and realised that what I thought had not been it. It had not been their, her fault. It had been mine for believing there had been a fault in them when they tried their best. I had pushed them away over a delusion that I had fed myself. They would not have been happy like the way I thought in my dream. So, I woke up.”

“...it can’t be that easy, walking suit.” Growled Garfiel, his own internal conflict blending into Subaru’s as his hand copied his movement to caress his own scar.

“Never said it was. It took me a long time.” He dusted his sleeves. “Now, during the following days you will see Emilia-tan, an earnest little girl, do her best to face her past. And I expect of you, sir Garfiel, to look. To stare. To see every second of her journey. To not hide behind shields, excuses, rage or pity. Look at her outshine us all and punch her past in the face in a week. She will humiliate both you and me.”

Garfiel growled at that. “A week, huh? What we could not face, she will defeat in a week?”

Subaru nodded, a wall of immovable confidence.

“I…see…” Garfiel moved away, slowly walking to whatever his destination was.

“...do you truly believe that, knight Natsuki?” Whispered Otto, still reeling from Subaru’s small but raw speech.

Subaru looked in the direction where Emilia should be resting tonight. “When you want to act, when you want to change, thinking that is the starting line. Emilia-tan’s already started her run. And, whenever she needs a rest, we will be there with water and snacks, so she may start running again whenever she feels safe enough to do so.”

Otto huffed and shook his head. “You know, Natsuki, you would make for a great seller. …Yes, we will be there.”

Subaru tugged at his suit and gloves and, after dusting his suit again, pulled a notebook and a pen. “Now, if you may help me with something. I have a small idea. Do you have any words of encouragement for Emilia? Write them in this notebook. I will do something to paint them inside the tomb.”

“Huh?” Otto had grabbed the pen before realising what Subaru had just said. “You want to desecrate the Witch of Greed’s Tomb?!” The pen almost went flying as Otto started to widely gesture. “Are you collecting powerful enemies or something, Natsuki?!”

Subaru lightly smirked at that. “Every person needs an entertaining hobby to pass the time, sir Otto. But do not worry, I cheat after all.”

Otto shook his head yet started to write something on the notebook. “For the record, this is all your responsibility.”

“If anything we are co-conspirators, aren’t we? We have hatched this plan together, after all.”

“Now is the moment when you decide to start to use the ‘we’?!” Otto started to use his free hand to play with his hair. “I never knew you would be this difficult, Natsuki.”

Subaru raised an eyebrow.

“This much…This lo…I am just digging my grave further, huh…” Finishing his writings with a flourish, he was very slow in returning the pen.

“Yes, Otto, you can ask and yes, I can give you one.”

Otto’s bright smile was the usual stab at his heart whenever he saw Emilia’s camp happy. Yet, surprisingly, this one hurt a bit less than usual. 

…

“I understand.” Ram, with those two simple words, started to write in the notebook.

“No complaints? That’s unusual, miss Ram.”

“There’s one, actually. You should be more attentive of your surroundings. Someone heard your conversation of an hour ago.” Plainly stated the maid, her writing unbearably chaotic as if she was doing it intentionally.

Subaru frowned. He had noticed no danger to any of them. ‘...I should have been more attentive.’ “Do you know who…”

“You can be very slow when you want to, Barusu.” Ram twirled the pen in her hand and returned it to him. “Apology accepted.” And, just like that, Ram left for Roswaal's room, leaving behind a very confused knight with an open pen in his hand.

Sighing, he made a note of this weird interaction. ‘Was she the one who heard our conversation? Then, why did she…She mistook what I was talking about, right? I was reminiscing about my change of mindset before returning here, not about the debacle with…’ His frown deepened, still not understanding why they were so hell-bent on trying to get him to trust them with his burdens. Why would they want to be punished? What sins did they commit? Why would they harm themselves by learning about Subaru?

He shook his head, knowing that the clock was ticking and this circular monologue would go nowhere. Moving on the house, he knocked softly on Emilia’s room. Rem opened the door. “Yes?”

Subaru handed her the notebook. “I was thinking of painting the walls with messages that could help Lady Emilia during her trials. Do you want to participate?”

Rem looked at him as if he had grown a second head. “She’s more my friend than yours, Subaru-kun.”

Subaru nodded, lending her the notebook and pen.

Looking between Emilia and him, she added. “Take care of her for a while. I need to think of what to say without smelling your stench.”

“Take as long as you need.”

As the maid banished, Subaru entered and closed the door. Wordlessly, he walked towards Emilia and put his hand on the handle of his sword. Soundlessly, the bastard sword was drawn. Cold descended on the room, freezing the door and the windows.

‘Took you long enough, bastard.’ Subaru made that thought the only one in his head.

‘...So you have noticed, boy. Can’t say I’m happy about that…’

…………..

Chapter Text

(L̅MMCMLVII)

‘I don’t think we have ever talked like this.’ Mussed Puck from the pendant.

‘Stop stalling, Great Spirit. You know you are the cause that Emilia-tan can’t pass the trials. Your fake memories don’t hold up against scrutiny. I know quite a bit about that.’

‘Huh, Emilia-tan, you think. That’s the name you called her when you first met her. You also knew my name too. Can you guess where I am going with this tangent, boy?’

‘Me being trustworthy or a danger is irrelevant at this point in time. She needs to be the one to beat the trials or Emilia will break and there will be no daddy to help her because he is too busy playing hide and seek.’ The frost around him got worse. It got horrible when Subaru sent them the images of his Emilia, broken beyond repair.

‘You really do not have the slightest bit of survival instinct, do you, boy? There’s too much bad blood between you and me to reach a true understanding but you seem to be under the wrong belief that I can get out of this pendant. We are only able to talk because you are making this process surprisingly easy, as if your subconscious was helping too. That it was you is a problem, yes, but I am sure we can reach…’

‘There’s no understanding to be had, Great Spirit. Our goals are one and the same, to keep Lady Emilia safe and happy. Our methods, on the other hand, differ greatly. We will never see eye to eye on anything but the destination itself.’

A cold and terrifying laughter resounded in Subaru’s mind, reminding him of the Beast of the End. “On that I agree, boy, I agree wholeheartedly. And that is why it pains me so much to agree with you. Lia will break should we do nothing and, even if it pains be double, I am obliged to leave Lia to you.’

‘You are wrong there, spirit. You are leaving her to her friends. I am simply the knight that will deal with the problems that may arise.’

‘That…reasures me. I can only glimpse a very partial reason for your loyalty but I know it is…even deeper than mine. Even if it pains me to admit it and despite how light and distant your relationship is with her, I know you won’t falter in our shared goal. But, yes, leave the actual, emotional support side of things to the maids. They are friends. You are not. You are merely a tool that knows its place. Act as one.’

Subaru nodded, his mind razor focused on the mental discussion. ‘While I agree, I am certainly growing furious at being lectured about emotional support by you of all things. You left Beatrice to rot because you were too busy sucking up to Roswaal and his damned plans. You acted not when she was breaking and I will never forgive you, Great Spirit. Pray that I die before Emilia-tan does.’

Puck paused for a few seconds. ‘...you have a very rare quality, boy. The ability to threaten opponents hundreds of levels beyond your skill and yet be able to rattle them. Still, you are right again, and it is not fair of me to leave you to deal with the consequences, yet it will be as it will be.’ Another pause as Puck surveyed through the memories that Subaru was loudly playing to get him to speed. ‘So you will crush Roswaal’s plans too? While my lack of strength makes me unable to help with it, I wish you good luck. Truly.’

‘Don’t need your blessings, Great Spirit. And get to the point. It is Emilia-tan’s subconscious that is fighting against you and stopping from manifesting, right? That you can talk to me is proof enough. I know how spirit contracts work this time. The recent Trial should have only made it worse…’ Subaru frowned, his bright memories of these original days being contrasted with this information and his acquired wisdom. ‘You both are fighting against showing her a past she doesn’t want to face.’

‘...you are really a nuisance, you know that, right? I should have frozen you to death the first time you came to the mansion.’

‘A shame the far past can’t be changed, huh.’

‘Even so, you won’t be as shameless as to use this new information to your advantage, I know that of y…’

‘You know nothing of me, Great Spirit. I have been agonising over this moment for my entire damned life and you were the damned cause of it all! You broke Emilia-tan out of your selfish fucking fear!’ Subaru’s mind roared, pushing away whatever response the spirit was trying to communicate. ‘You robbed her of her chance to face her regrets, her past! You…’

‘I am protecting her, mortal!’ Tired of being shut off, the Beast of the End roared in his mind, popping vessels and making his eyes bleed. ‘The truth that lies forgotten is a trial far more unforgiving than the false memories she currently has!’

‘Prove it or I am walking away and doing it my way. Without you.’ Subaru wiped them off with no care.

‘I can’t…’ Puck silenced their mental screams as they noticed Subaru’s increasing enmity. Their instincts told them to not let his way happen. ‘...There’s a way. But I would need to break my contract.’

‘I already have a seller for a magic stone replacement.’

‘...’ Completely taken aback, Puck did the mental equivalent of looking at Subaru with his mouth opened.

‘Your elimination is not a valid choice. It would sadden Lady Emilia far too grievously. Despite how much we hate each other, that will always remain a good enough reason. I started searching for one since the first day.’

‘...you really have no stops, do you?’ Puck sighed in his mind. ‘...So be it. Once I break my contract I expect you to…’

‘Yeah, I get it. Take care of Lady Emilia, get her to face her past and pass the Trials, beat up that damned clown, get that replacement stone and get her to remake your contract.’

‘...I do not enjoy being interrupted by you, boy, but yes…Why would Lia end up surrounded by the three biggest manipulators in all of Lugunica, I shall never understand.’

‘The exit’s right there, furball. You could start lessening the numbers.’

‘Right back at you, walking suit.’

‘But wait at least a day before breaking the contract. Let her find some closure from tonight with her friends before destroying her world.’

‘...I will think about it.’ Puck sighed. ‘...boy, know that once Lia finds out that I am gone, she will fall apart. A wailing, inconsolable and afraid child. But the shackles keeping her from her past will be undone and she will be ready to face her own heart, should she survive the fallout. And that could be for the best…’ His caring, compassionate tone returned to be the one of the Beast of the End. ‘But should you fail to act your word I will destroy everything and everyone your sorry soul could ever meaningfully care about, are we clear?’

‘Ice clear.’

‘...one last thing…’ Puck’s voice weakened. ‘I despise your tasteless jokes.’

The communication was cut off. Subaru got off the chair with the silence only an assassin was capable of. His hand clenching his other arm, he left the room. ‘For how long will the great spirit keep his word? Maybe tonight, tomorrow morning if the sta- if my luck aligns.’ The ice melted just before his hand touched the handle of the door.  

Opening it, a waiting and furious Rem was behind. Subaru blinked. ‘...Was this a miscalculation on his part or a real plot that would beget…’

“Subaru-kun.” Her tone sent chills down his spine. Her left hand waved the notebook. “Did you mean this or was it a plot to get me out of the room?” Her eyes glinted dangerously. “And you can’t run this time from giving me an answer.

“...it was not a plot.” Whispered Subaru, softly closing the door. Should he die he would rather not watch Emilia as he was killed. “I did not expect the door to get closed off.”

“And may you tell me why the Great Spirit has learnt from you and is plotting against Emilia?” Subaru grimaced. Thankfully, her small affection towards the black-haired man kept her tone a whisper. But no one could know how long it would last. “Rem can also read between the lines, not as good as sister but I am no statue.”

“He…He…” ‘How to explain this? Too many moving pieces right now. Ram could at any point leave the room. That would mean Roswaal would now know. Then, Emilia would break. I must think of something. What are the solutions? Be truthful, lie, do not say a word, reset?’

Rem tilted her head. “Subaru-kun, the clock is ticking. My patience will run out.”

He sighed. He needed their full cooperation with Emilia. And he needed it to be effective. To leave them in the dark would do more harm than good to her. He grabbed Rem’s pen and opened a new page on the notebook, fearful of Emilia listening in. “He is currently incapable of coming out. A part of Emilia, the part that stops her from completing the Trials, is stopping him. We reached an agreement and he will temporarily break their contract to allow her to face her past. It should happen tomorrow. Emilia must not know or she will fully break.”

Rem stared at the writing for a few seconds. She blinked and decided to keep the conversation undercover. “You both give them too little trust. They are more capable than you think they are.” Was her whispered answer.

“I would rather not risk anything. This, as much as it pains me, is her choice. I can only watch. I will never ever again take away her chances to grow. And she will need her friends, you and Ram, to support her tomorrow morning and when the contract fully breaks.” He frowned. “But, should she want to run from it, I will always help.”

“Isn’t that a double standard?”

“Yes. Yet I stand by it. As her knight, I will shield and protect her whenever she wants me to.”

Rem breathed in, the still low miasma of Subaru making the notion easier than usual. “Fine. But what about the ice, then?”

“A replacement stone has already been obtained. It will take long for him to recover enough to remake the pact but, should Emilia-tan be willing, I shall do my utmost to help her make another pact with the furball, no matter my hatred towards his recent choices and decisions.”

“You realise that just makes it seem like you planned for this all along, right?” Rem uttered, staring him in the eyes.

Subaru flinched. Frowning, his writing hand sped up. “Your suspicions are…”

Rem stopped his hand with hers. “I get it, Subaru-kun.” She gave him a tiny smile. “I get it. You really can’t say anything. Now I understand you a bit more.” ‘Your speech of before…You were the one who needed our help...You wanted us to reject you, to admit we never trusted you, that we never wanted to. But a small part of you wanted to hear one single thing and that is the one that is hurting right now. You wanted to hear that we wanted you to be happy too.’ Her gaze looked at the notebook. That was not something a person that wanted to hurt others did. He understood them, to a scary degree, but, on his way to try to help, he had stopped understanding himself and so he called himself a mask. And she knew he was wrong. Neither a void nor an unfilling mask fill a notebook with hopeful messages for a struggling girl.  “Do you want to know what I think?” 

Subaru backed a step, fear evident in his gaze at the sudden topic change. His hands clenched the notebook. ‘Should I re…?’

“That you do not want us to trust you. No matter how much you ask us to, a part of yourself wants us to say no. That’s why you always come off with that slightly dangerous weirdness. You refuse to face us for the same reason too. You reject our friendship because you do not think you deserve it. All you do is out of a belief that you do not deserve to be trusted upon or have that happy ending you keep talking about. That causes your contradictions. You suddenly grow cold to us because you are the one noticing you are overstepping whatever bounds you have set for yourself towards us.” 

Rem sighed. “I do not know what happened before, nor do I particularly want to know until you are ready to share. But know this, now I know what game you are playing.” Rem’s gaze moved up again to him. He backed another step, his back lightly hitting the wall behind. “And I won’t care what games or boards you place on it. I will trust you, Subaru. You have my full confidence.”

The notebook was crunched a bit more. “You…” At that critical juncture, Subaru hesitated. His script, his ever trustworthy preparation, was not there, he had yet to loop this conversation. Untethered, his confidence failed him. He let Rem speak.

“And there it is. The thing behind the mask is just fear.” Rem smirked. “I meant what I said, Subaru-kun. This you is better than your persona, than what you think you are.” She seemed strangely happy, as if she had taken pride in seeing him surprised. On the back foot. “What was what you said that moment? You shall drag us to a happy ending? Then start pulling, I will make it my job to push you to it too. Maybe a part of you will even agree with me.”

“There’s no one left to pull on anymore, Rem-chi.” He snarled back, a cornered beast.

She shrugged. “Then we will help you remember who you were, Subaru-kun.” Her gaze grew determined. “And I shall rest not until you realise you are Ram’s…no, our hero.”

Subaru would have fallen to the ground had he not been against the wall. “But…you rejected my purpose…”

Rem nodded again. “Because I realised that your happy ending didn’t even include you in it.” Her smile turned evil. “And I will drag you into it kicking and screaming.”

“I…I do...” ‘...Why? Why would you even offer to do such? I betrayed you.’

“Willing or not, Subaru-kun. Willing or not.” With a new spring on her steps, Rem returned to Emilia’s side and closed the door behind.

Subaru slithered down to the ground. His hand grasped the hilt of his sword. The feeling of cutting his own neck assaulted him like an ex-lover that did not let go. It would have been so easy…He blinked. The tiniest part of himself, the small light of hope, chimed in. Maybe he could stay…maybe…maybe he could believe. ‘No. Reset. I can’t fall to my own self-pity. My determination is not so weak! I won’t fail again! I do not…!’ He started to choke. He looked down. He had cut his throat without realising. He was bleeding out.

He had betrayed Rem’s hopes again. He closed his eyes, missing the mocking glint of his bastard sword. This was for the better. He would loop this conversation. He had to push them away, not in. He needed to.

…

“Willing or not, Subaru-kun. Willing or not.” With a new spring on her steps, Rem returned to Emilia’s side and closed the door behind.

Subaru slithered down to the ground again. He grabbed his own hands. A part of him that refused that unneeded, unwanted, undeserving compassion. One who knew the liar, the scheemer, the traitor, the loser. The other, a candle that had been quickly shuffled out just as fast as it had been lit by none other than his own hand, words and blade. No flame could resist the storm of regrets that he carried, not when it was the tiniest ember of hope. It died again. Subaru got off the floor. He restarted his mission, heading towards Echidna’s Tomb.

…

Entering the first room of the tomb, his vision suddenly wavered. “What…?”

“Oh, do not worry, old contractor of mine.” Echidna’s sweet and soft tone paled Subaru. ‘Not now, please.’ “I just exchanged the room of the first trial with the second one, I will return it to how it was by tomorrow morning. Even if it forces me to spend most of my strength, I can’t call myself the Witch of Greed if I miss this perfect opportunity to snatch you away now that you are wavering, can I?” He felt a wink in his mind. It was a once in a decade trick but she was sure it would work. “Break for me, Subaru, and realise that I am your only path forward.”

“You…”

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

“It’s very unusual for Subaru to not be up and going.” Emilia stated, pulling an awkward Ram with her towards Subaru’s temporal holding. “Like, no one has seen him and he has never slept in.”

“Lady Emilia, he could very well just be exhausted. You forget that last night he faced his past. He may still be reeling from that.” Ram did her best to not appear apprehensive. With how their past discussion had gone, she had no idea on how to face the man without barking insults at him as her wounds were still open. It was none other than her own fault for trusting a time traveller.

“Subaru struggled to wait half a day in bed while he healed from the Archbishop of Sloth! I don’t know how you can believe yourself!” Emilia pulled harder, almost dragging a Ram that was nailing her heels on the ground and leaving two trails behind.

“I believe myself because I am speaking the truth, Lady Emilia!”

“My sister is just worried she will come off as having forgiven him by showing him worry, Lady Emilia.” Interjected Rem. Her face went from slightly exasperated to a frown as she saw a Garfiel in front of the house, sniffing the air with a very confused expression.

Both Ram and Emilia turned to the boy whose expression was paling in realisation. “Garfiel, what are you doing there?”

“Ram! That tone was not…” Emilia watched a bit startled as Ram, once frozen, advanced with uneasy haste towards the boy who was shaking his head.

“Garfiel. What happened.” Her words were not questions.

Garfiel side-eyed the incoming half-elf. “Would recommend not letting the…princess in.”

“Why.”

Garfiel gave a very small gesture towards the window. “Take a look if you…”

Ram rammed through the door, cracking its hinges. On the ground next to the bed, the corpse of Subaru laid pale, his blood forming a drying puddle around him. It had been a few minutes since his neck had been cut. Had she not been that reticent they would have arrived in time.

Rem stammered behind Emilia, being slammed by a psychic hammer in the shape of Ram’s distress. Emilia, palling, rushed to the corpse, her hands brimming with healing magic incapable of reviving the dead. “You liar! Why would you!” Emilia started to sob, her growingly blurry vision making her incapable of seeing the uselessness of her healing. “Why would you leave too!!” Her voice cracked, doubling over the corpse.

Ram’s knees hit the floor. All of those words they had left unsaid. All of the recrimination, the suspicions, the hate and the hurt, all of it had been blown into irrelevancy in the face of the cold, hard reality. Those conversations would never occur. There would be no apologies, no takebacks, no new peace nor renewed friendship. She clenched her jaw and forced her eyes shut, trying to stop herself from crying, from blaming herself.

Rem dared not to enter the house, sitting on the ground just outside and hugging her knees, having understood all. She only wished they would have forced the topic, the situation. Subaru had not been alright and they had looked to the other side, unwilling to look past their own misgivings. They had prioritised themselves over him, a mistake now forever set in stone. They had turned their backs on him in a flash of dubious suspicions and this was the result. There was no redoing in real life. They had lost a friend.

…

Subaru gasped from the ground of the chamber of the second trial.

“There’s an impressive number of loops. It would have been handy to have me, wouldn’t you agree? Do not worry, if I speed the trial up we should only take up half the night. I know you need to sleep.” Subaru saw Echidna’s bright smile in his mind. “There’s so much to see here…”

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

The carriage jumped out of a rock that had been in the middle of the road, slightly damaging one of the four wheels. “Wow, that was a big one. Glad we have spares, right knight Natsuki?” The slow trek towards Sanctuary was comfortable, the weather had been nice too. Truly, it was a nice voyage.

His small try to make small talk had the answer of a corpse falling from the seat next to him. Startled, Otto stared back as Subaru, having cut his own throat over a slightly damaged wheel, toppled to the ground and was trampled by the carriage.

Otto paled, bile rushing upwards and making him vomit. Trying to speak, he only managed a choked cough of disbelief. The second big bump did alert the rest of the passengers. 

“What happ-” Emilia, the first to look out, screamed. “Subaru!!”

Rem was quick to jump out, quickly realising where the real, lethal, wound had come from. The bloodied blade, glinting tantalisingly from a few metres away from their position, seemed to laugh at her. She staggered, almost falling to her knees, trying to understand what had just happened. He couldn’t have, right? He couldn’t have killed himself in front of them all, right? He couldn’t have done it without anyone noticing, stopping it, right?!

Ram appeared next to her, enveloping her in a hug and soft words. Blocking her own grief from the connection, less than Rem had to deal with both.

Patrasche roared a pained cry.

…

Subaru tried to gasp. He was interrupted.

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

He found no respite.

…

The other three jumped in their place. “Oh…I…today’s a sunny day, right?!”

“Actually,” Subaru frowned and looked outside. “I don’t know. I will get back on you with that.”

The rest of the day was as the loop had been. The next morning, Subaru didn’t show up to his training nor to the preparations for the trip. Still, thanks to the very recent discussion they had had, no one dared to go check up on him, not knowing if he was even coming with them. It wasn’t until morning turned into midday that Otto knocked on Subaru’s room. No response. “I am coming in, Knight Natsuki.”

Inside, an empty guest room. It had no personality. The bed appeared to never be used and the only place without considerable dust was the ground right next to the bed, a human sized spot of cleanliness. Otto frowned and blinked, not believing what he was seeing. He really had nothing to his name? No books, no personal interests nor hobbies?

Extremely creeped out, Otto closed and opened the door again, seeing the same empty result as last time. Scratching his head, he muttered out loud. “Where else would a workaholic be?” He nodded to himself and set himself towards the study he had cleaned a time ago. It took him a few minutes of trying, as every study in the mansion seemed to be used by that very same Subaru, who had spent countless hours toiling already for the domain.

Scratching his head even more, Otto did not relent, worry now increased by a tenfold. “I really need to get him to go on a guy’s night.”

By the twelfth study he noticed a metallic smell behind. Frowning, he tried to enter only for the door to be locked. Panicking now, he kicked it open.

In the only chair of the study, a Subaru looking out the window was resting on the chair. A far away thunder resounded while the rain sounded its soundtrack. His white and black suit now red, his corpse was surrounded by dozens of letters, all addressed to Beatrice. Countless tries, some long, some short, some as big as a novel, some rejected after the first word.

Otto paled, cold sweat frozen on his back. He dared not to move. He closed the door and opened it again. The same empty result of before. He screamed for help.

…

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

“I refuse to hear someone talk about my dear friend like that.” Reinhard, voice cold and determined, slammed Subaru with that determination.

His dear friend, with too uncanny a practice, cut his throat out before he could react.

“Fr-friend…” Reinhard paled as Subaru’s corpse slammed against the ground, his life tainting the recently cleaned wooden floor red. Reinhard blinked, his Divine Protections working overtime to stop his emotions from lashing out. His calmness was forcibly returned, never being allowed any grieving. “Subaru!” His tone, too calm, too stable, too monstrous, alerted the others that something was wrong.

Reinhard’s hands were utterly incapable of stopping that faucet of red. It only stopped by Nature’s will, having drained itself of blood. Reinhard retracted his hands, as dirty as the ground below. He couldn’t even cry through his Sword Saint mantle.

A distressed scream shook him from his self pity. Emilia had returned and the maids were rushing back. Reinhard got off Subaru and retreated, feeling alien to that heartmoving scene of real friends grieving over a loss. He blinked, his trembling hands moving up. “It…it was my fault.” ‘You are nothing but a monster.’ “You…you were right, esteemed grandfather.”

Surrounded by pained screams, tears and sobs, Reinhard stood a statue. A hero that could not save his friend. A hero that pushed him to kill himself. A hero that could not pay him the respect he was due. Not a hero. A monster.

…

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

Emilia teared up and, shaking her head, also retreated away. An enormous, bloodcurling crack made her jump and freeze up. “Su-Subaru.” Her words choked between themselves.

Puck materialised in front of her. “Lia. Keep moving, alright? Everything is fine.”

“D-daddy?” Her voice couldn’t come out of her trembling mouth. Frozen like a deer in headlights, she started to tremble uncontrollably. “I-i-i-is everything…Everything is fine, right? You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

Puck put their paws on her face. “I would never lie to you, Lia. Now let’s keep moving up, alright?”

“Bu-but if everything is alright…why-why is-why is Subaru not answering?” Her body trembled even more, her jelly legs incapable of advancing nor turning her without falling. Her mind, refusing to even think about the situation, incapable of facing reality just yet.

Puck showed her the most calming and reassuring smile they could. “He is just angry at us, alright? He always makes quite the ruckus, doesn’t he? He will come around, surely. Now, I need you to do me a very big favour, alright? I need you to close your eyes and cover your ears, yes? If you love me anything at all you will do so, right?”

Emilia, eyes tearing up and already sobbing, nodded weakly. She closed her eyes and covered her ears. Soon enough, two strong yet soft arms carried her away. She tried to weakly resist the Sword Saint in vain. “Subaru is following us, right?” Emilia whispered, her legs not moving at all and having to be moved by Reinhard’s efforts alone.

Puck, looking at Emilia, paused his sad observation only to throw a murderous glare at the corpse of a black-haired man with two maids around, skull caved in. “If you weren’t dead already I would kill you again for doing that to Lia, bastard.”

…

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

“You can’t make any of us happy because you do not know how to nor know what we want. You are wasting your life.” Was the scathing statement that Rem threw at the black-haired man.

His response was to implode, quite literally at that. “El-Minya.”

Rem, startled frozen and eyes wide opened, was gifted with the opportunity to watch Subaru’s insides collapse into themselves from the front row. His mouth vomited half of his blood, submerging her feet in a puddle of it. He collapsed, the dust of his magic crystals raining on him in a scenic way, laughing at her with their ethereal beauty as they reflected their light onto the corpse. She did not notice her own scream.

She blinked, the miasma rapidly being banished from her nose, as if she had just become unworthy of its scent. “Wha…”

Before she could fall she was enveloped in a hug. “Su-Subaru-kun?”

“Rem, it’s all right.”

Rem turned at Ram, her expression still froze. “Si-sister? I…” She found herself hugged into her sister’s shoulder, her hands patting her head. “I…did I…did I…”

“It was not your fault.” Whispered forcefully Ram, trying to tank both her grief and Rem’s without showing it.

“I killed Subaru…Sister, I did it. It is my fault.” Her voice cracked. She spoke no more, never responding to Ram’s soft words. She didn’t cry either, not feeling worthy of it. She truly was a curse. Her sister’s horn. Her friend’s life. Why was she alive?

…

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

“And it turns out I was never invited, welcomed nor wanted there.” Ram hid perfectly the real hurt in her voice. Retreating, she threw a last look at the black-haired man. Her mouth opened. An instinctual gargling sound and a loud thump resounded on the small hallway. She could only watch the few seconds that took for the tiniest light to leave Subaru’s eyes.

But he was still gargling, the haunting sound was stalking her mind, never leaving, ever present, growing louder. She covered her mouth to not scream. Her sister noticed still. Before her strong facade could break she found herself in a hug.

“Sister!” Rem hugged her, shielding her from the sight that her words had caused. Her warmth did not transmit. Neither did her soft words, blocked by that damned sound of Subaru struggling to breath his last. Her heart thumped on her chest. Tinnitus set in. Her legs lost strength yet the iron hug did not let her down.

“I…take it back, time traveller. Loop back and take this sight away from my mind.” Whispered Ram, blinking more and more rapidly to stop her vision from becoming blurry. “I take it all back. Give me back my happy ending, Barusu. You can’t just simply take it away. I wanted it with you in it. Loop back. I am ordering you to loop back!” Her enraged scream resounded through the mansion, a roar that, in its grief, refused to respect this loop’s Providence.

…

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

Beatrice saw Subaru try to blink away her question. A second later, her mana froze inside her. “El-Minya.”

Terminal damage. His gate exploded with him. He toppled from the chair. Her stupid game had been too much of a push. He had collapsed and had decided to give up. Beatrice knew a lot about giving up. She had given up on her past, on her present, on her future. Of ever being happy. Of that person appearing. Of her hope being true. Of her torment ending somewhen.

Then, if she had given up, why was she screaming her lungs out? Why had she thrown himself on top of a dying Subaru with no possibilities of saving him? Why was she expending her mana, painfully gained through centuries of solitude, on an empty, useless task? Why did her heart feel like it had shattered, never to recover?

“Su-” Her voice cracked, her hands in a soft and comfortable warm bath of blood. She turned a statue, trying to process what was happening. The blood grew lukewarm, temperate, a bit chilly, cold. It dried around her hands, her long lived mind able to exist in a different time scale. “-baru.”

Her gaze locked in his pale, dead face. She stopped crying, maybe started? She did not know. Her face and eyes looked like those of the person she had wanted to choose.

…

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

Julius walked into a clearing. There, the mangled corpse of both Sloth and Subaru awaited them. Both had felled each other. Julius carried his hand to his mouth, his previous suspicions over the man now an insult. An affront to the sheer heroism in front. 

Surrounded by the corpses of fifteen slain cultists, Subaru’s battle must have been legendary. A normal, powerless, everyday man had stood up against the legends that made or broke the world, and had sacrificed his life so that his Lady lived. So that the villagers would never suffer under the witch cult.

Felix, next to him, stood in silent companionship, letting the proud Julius deal with his emotions alone. For a few minutes, a respectful silence was the only thing the returning soldiers afforded themselves. The tranquility awarded by the flawless command of what could have been a heroic light. A guiding torch against the Witch Cult.

Wilhelm stabbed his sword on the ground, for once not minding the damage to its edge. “Rest well, Knight Natsuki Subaru. Today, you saved all. Your sacrifice saved everyone.” He closed his eyes, not having ever believed it would have come to this. “May everyone come to know of your legend, Slayer of Sloth.”

Julius, unmoving, remembered the beating he had given the man for speaking the truth. Finest of Knights, what a fucking joke. His flawless record as a knight had received a stain that would never vanish. And Julius wanted it not any other way. He would never forgive himself nor forget the face of true confidence. He did not close his eyes, carving the sight of the fallen man in his memory

… 

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

A horrible crouch resounded from below the tree. Wilhelm, enraged, rushed forward. His body, feeling like his young one, quickly carved up the Great Whale as he was under the tree. Every second mattering, he overextended way past his limits. His muscles broke, his bones cracked, he bit his cheeks.

The Whale died in a showdown of breathtaking swordship mastery. A dance that would become his personal eulogy for the man that had saved everyone but himself. The Whale roared his last, his teeth stained in the only red that had been shed. Wilhelm, hyperventilating, should have been happy. His lifelong mission, accomplished.

Yet the grieving roar of an earth dragon shattered any pride he could have had in his victory. He closed his eyes as the creature, rode by a crying maid, passed him by.

“Sir!” The worried scream stabbed him through his heart.

Felix, softly walking towards him, patted him on the shoulder, not having any words of consolation to offer to anyone. The blue could not resurrect the dead, after all.

Crusch, arriving a bit late, sheathed her sword and put her helmet under her arm, to her side. “I…I will pay for his funeral. It is the least we can do.”

Wilhelm, watching over the maid and the dragon as they looked through the mouth of the whale, only clenched his sword. The army around paid their own respects to the man that had saved them all. To the commander that had spearheaded every action of their army and had taken all of their burdens. They thanked the sacrifice that allowed them to go back to their families.

… 

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

…

Reinhard stared at the friend he had been too late to save from those mabeast, the image of that carnage reflecting on his eyes…

Ram shook her head as she checked back on the clearing…

Emilia watched in shock as Subaru fell down the stairs…

… 

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’ ‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’ ‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’ ‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’ ‘Behold, the unthinkable present.’

……

Subaru almost choked as he returned to the cold, damp, dark Trial room.

Taking advantage, Echidna’s voice was as sweet as honey. A forbidden tentation. “I was the devil on your shoulder before, beloved of mine. And I will now offer to be the angel that consoles you. Take my hand again, Natsuki Subaru, and your desire will be met again. You just need to ask. Or risk these thousands of visions repeating.” The voice left him. The Witch left him.

All alone.

With thousands of new nightmares.

With thousands of new regrets.

With thousands of new, never to vanish guilts.

In the same, cold, damp and solitary tomb where he had left everyone he had ever cared about behind.

Subaru took an hour to be able to get off the floor. His shaky steps, fifteen minutes to reach one of the walls. He started to paint the encouraging words he had tasked himself with doing. Below him, a trail of tears that followed every single one of his steps as he wrote cheerful, bright and hopeful words that had lost all meaning. But the clock was ticking, ever ticking. He had wasted enough time. He should finish this quickly and rest. He needed to go back and take care of Emilia. He must return to the mansion and save everyone there. He will make worth on those visions. To not do so would be a sin which would have no hell worth its salt to punish it.

He forced his beautiful writing through a trembling hand. He forced himself to stand on unfeeling legs that were as solid as sand. He held back his weeps, only letting out the very small whimpering of an abused animal that had been injured by its owner. His blurry vision stopped him not, could not.

Finished, he pulled a pocked mirror to watch his face. It was too dark to see the reflection but yet he tried still, going through the motions of his training. After a few of them the lack of light would have mattered not, the crystal now too dirty to be usable either way.

His mask broke. He curled on himself. He cried himself to a very troubled sleep. He awoke an hour later, his new nightmares too active to let him sleep despite his training. He left the Tomb. ‘I…I need to loop. I…I can’t go on…’ A part of him made him look back, to a partner of an old time, the tantalising bait of fast comfort too attractive to not consider, even unconsciously. He cut his throat. He went back to that very same dark, lonely room. He wrote the same, empty words. He slept through his nightmares again. And again. And again. 

………

Chapter Text

(L̅MMCMLXXVIII)

Rem and Ram were waiting for Emilia to wake up, three cups filled with warm calming tea on the table they were sat around. Her worried stares were on the door to her room. There was no need to exchange words between each other, both of them knowing what the other was thinking. And less when her soft cries had been heard all night.

Otto, upon being informed, had smiled and accepted their request to have some space. He had looked fairly tired and his carriage was readied up to resume his journey. Well, he was a merchant and he had to work, too. They would not blame him for leaving them, not that he had any obligation to help them. Still, the man himself had revealed nothing about his plans so it was possible that Su…

Just as that word came up in their minds, a happy looking Subaru, face bright, opened the door with, at the beginning, too much force. Grimacing, his smile turned awkward and he slowed his motion so as to not make any noise. “Ups!” Shrinking a bit, he soundlessly closed the door and sat on the fourth chair, the one without tea, as if it was natural. “Job’s done. Took me a bit longer than expected but…” His gaze went to Rem, “How’s she?”

The maids turned to each other before Rem returned his gaze. “She woke up halfway into the night. We talked a bit and she told us abou…”

Ram raised a hand at her to stop her. “Sir. Out with it.”

“...out with what?”

“You are masking again. It's very displeasing to see.” Her glare got colder. “Those horrible bags under your eyes did not come from nowhere, sir.” 

Subaru blinked, his bright smile still there. “I still do not get what you are saying Ram-...”

“Do not use that name while you are acting like that, sir!” Ram slammed the table, almost knocking down the third tea. Rem put a hand on her shoulder, her eyes locked on an opening door.

There, still half asleep, Emilia was rubbing her eyes. “Good morning.” Blinking, she noticed the three people in front. “Oh, Subaru, Rem, Ram! Good morning! Were you having tea?”

Subaru shook his head. “I just came in. I think that tea is for you.” He threw her a worried smile. “How are you doing?”

Emilia frowned. “Subaru, are you alright?”

Subaru’s expression froze.

“Did something happen to you?” Emilia looked down. “I know you feel like you have to lie to us but…please, not today.”

Subaru sighed. His expression died. The light went away and only exhaustion remained. The three of them relaxed visibly as an apathetic Subaru shuffled on his sitting and gestured with his chin at the chair with the tea, urging Emilia to take a seat.

Softly sitting, she enveloped the warm cup in her still cold hands and stared at Subaru while he finished his thoughts.

“...I will keep it short then, Lady Emilia. Do you want to run away?” His words, soft, felt as empty as his eyes.

Emilia blinked a few times, not really believing she had heard right. “Huh?” 

Ram’s reaction was worse, her cup of tea was let go and it slammed against the table, staining it with its liquid.

“Right now, if you so wish to, I can backtrack it all.” Subaru’s determined gaze was on her. Steeled, readied, sturdy. “Say the word and I will finish the trial in your stead. I will deal with any and all problems in your way. I will destroy any obstacle and find you the future you want if you only just tell me. I will create an utopia just for you if you just nod right now. So, Lady Emilia, do you want to? You could stop. You could not suffer anymore. You could stop viewing any horrible sights, your failings, your past, if only you give up. I would never blame you for doing such, nor would anyone here.”

Emilia stared at him, long silent seconds going by. She smiled brightly, hers not a lie. “Subaru, thank you for being worried about me, really. But no. I…after I told Rem and Ram about my past…after, after really thinking about what I want to do…I think this is a challenge I can’t, I must not run away from!” Her voice, growing in confidence, struck the small cabin with the clear and pure tone only her spirit could make. “You have done enough, Subaru. This is my battle.”

Subaru was not the only one who fell into silence, staring at Emilia’s face. He gave her a small nod. The steel rusted into apathy, never showing the cracks below. “So be it, Lady Emilia. But, are you sure of it? I don’t think I will have the resolve…nay, the cowardice to propose it again.”

“You are no coward, Subaru. But yes, I am sure of it!”

A small, relieved smile appeared on his face. “Your confidence reassures me, Emilia-tan.” Getting off the chair, he stretched. “Od below, sleeping on rocks is such a damn pain. I need to…” A sudden crystalline crack froze the four of them, the recovered atmosphere dying again.

Emilia gazed at her pendant, proof of Puck’s existence. An enormous crack had formed in its surface. Her smile went away as her eyes started to tear up. “Wh…No, huh?” Her tea was knocked into the table as her desperate hands reached for the crystal as if they could stop it from shattering. Emilia’s speech grew intelligible, a combination of sobs, muttered words and negations.

The cracks appeared all over it, rapidly and uncaringly growing. “No! If this keeps up!”

Three chairs dropped to the ground. Both maids rushed to help. Emilia turned to Subaru. “Please help! Please save Puck! Please save my Daddy!!”

The man tensed up. The crystal, as if sensing the turning tide of the situation, fully cracked once it heard her words, turning into a pile of turquoise-colored sand and a few small pieces. Her futile hopes had been shattered just after her arrogant declaration of battle readiness.

Soft words from both maids failed to reach her ears. She would have fallen to the ground had they not been supporting her. “This can’t be happening. You…you said we would always be family…that you would never leave me alone…” Emilia breathed in between sobs. “Puck…daddy, you liar!!!” Her screams rang inside the cabin, echoing inside the hearts.

She hurled the fragments at Subaru, hitting him on the cheek and making him bleed while the shards stabbed in, piercing skin and flesh. Her wails turned half crazed as she started to thrash around, pushing both maids away with her inhuman strength. Thankfully, magic was outside her moves right now so she only threw the table in front of herself, making Subaru finally move by necessity of dodge.

Rem was the second one to move, hugging Emilia and trying to hold her down. Subaru was third and Ram fourth. Now incapable of continuing her violent tantrum, her nails scratched at Subaru in vengeance of his sloth as she continued to cry out in pain.

…

Subaru, devastated, was sitting in front of her door, his back supported on it. His trembling hands were between his legs, his broken glare on them. Ram, on a chair that she had raised again, was staring at him while Rem had gone to help with diverse tasks in the village and fulfil their own duties.

“...sir, I don’t think she will make it. I had a bit of hope she would break through, that maybe Roswaal’s gospel would be wrong but…after this?” Ram sighed and shuffled on her chair. “She will not…”

“No, not today. At the very least.” Subaru got off the floor, his mask back in its place. He dusted himself off and tugged at his shirt. After a few seconds his eyes gained their bite back as he tugged at his gloves. His voice, now a command. “So she needs both of you with her.”

“That…may not be enough.”

“Trust her, Ram. She is stronger than what she looks.” His gaze went to the maid. “And the gospel has already deviated from its writ.”

“...huh?” Ram turned to him.

“You should understand what this means, miss Ram. Should I not loop, this Roswaal’s already free.” ‘You will help Emilia-tan, no matter what I have to give.’

“Ho-”

“How do I know?” Subaru tilted his head. “Ram, you know I loop through timelines. I have seen when it did not deviate. I have suffered through it. This isn’t it.”

Ram’s eyes went to the right, where Roswaal was.

“And you have a choice to make.” Subaru breathed in. “You and Rem are the only ones who can strengthen her resolve. To mend her cracks and reveal that you three are a family. That there’s a real connection between you three. Should she find solace in your shared friendship, she will break through. She is stronger than me after all.”

“...that talk about giving up…that was for you, wasn’t it?”

“...now, please, tell me you will be with her so that I may plan accordingly.”

Ram turned her gaze to him, scanning him up and down. “No.” His expression shattered. His plan, foiled. “I won’t agree to your terms…” She made the wait longer, trying to see his reaction. ‘He had expected me to reject him…His gears are turning…’ “If you do not follow a term of my own.”

“…what is it?” Should he not be able to give it…His eyes flickered to his left, towards the Tomb.

“If you ask me to stay away from master Roswaal tonight, you will do the same. She needs your friendship too. She depends on you more than on us. We have her friendship, you have her trust.”

The curveball hit him straight in the chin. His mask was moved out of place. “Ho-how could I ever have her trust?!” His words, a snap.

Ram raised a hand. “This won’t turn into a debate. Either you agree or you don’t.”

Subaru looked away. He frowned. His fingers tapped his left side. His mind, always calculating the odds, the chances. A future that must be possible. “Fine but, should this backfire, as it will, we won’t have this conversation next time.” He tugged at his collar and gloves. “My apologies but I need to prepare some sudden things.”

Ram nodded. As she watched him turn around, her lips moved to a bright smile knowing she had already won her bet. “Oh, and a last thing, Barusu.”

He turned slightly to her. “Yes?”

“I will also be burning your gospel.” He stopped moving. “I felt a warning was deserving of a place in our conversation, so be ready for that.”

Subaru frowned, a combative glint in his eyes. “You can try.” And, tugging at his gloves, he left the room.

Ram shook her head. “I never did notice but you always tug at your gloves when you are feeling ready to fight, don’t you, Barusu?” Her muttering had no answer.

…

Emilia moved, slowly walking up from her sleep. Her tired eyes blinked, noticing three different hairstyles. “R-”

“We are here, Emilia.” Softly whispered Rem, hand on her shoulder.

Subaru nodded, his move a bit awkward. His eyes shifted. His hand tightened just a bit around her right, as if willing to confirm that he really was here.

“How are you doing, Lady Emilia?” Ram, at Rem’s side, was looking at her with an edgeless gaze.

Before she could answer Subaru offered her a cup of water. Her parched throat was happy for the breather and she drank greedily. She gave him a firm but small smile without the slightest indication of fatigue. “Thanks Subaru.” Her gaze traced his face, not detecting any injury.

He gave a nod back and retreated to his seat, arms crossed. His stare, unlike his body language, soft and worried.

“I…” She turned to one of the windows in her room. “I slept through the day, didn’t I? Even though you have been for me…What am I doing?”

“Nobody faults you for that, Emilia.” Rem squished her shoulder a bit. “It must have been tough.”

Ram nodded. “To deal with loss is never easy.”

Subaru’s gaze changed targets to Ram, startled by her opening the topic so soon. Before his frown could gain an edge he was interrupted.

“Subaru, it’s alright.” Emilia’s confident tone backed him down, his eyes smeared with badly hidden surprise at her fortitude. “I haven’t…forgotten that Puck is gone. I am not going to forget that and run away, I meant what I said to you. I will beat the trials.” 

Her calm voice froze Subaru, who slowly backed further into his chair as if trying to melt into it yet not letting go of her hand, as the influx of strength had changed its direction of flow. Emilia squished his hand. “You can trust me, Subaru.”

After a very long second, Subaru gave the tiniest nod.

“You look different, Emilia.” Mussed Ram, her piercing glare on her.

“I feel…different too. There were lots of things that…I thought about. From the dream.” Her gaze went back to the blanket. “I…m sorry for showing you so many unsightly sides of myself, from worrying you all. I…I will be fine tomorrow morning, definitely, so…could you stay here tonight?” Her eyes darkened, her long eyelashes quivered as her hands clenched a bit. Right on Subaru’s, left on Ram’s.

“Could you hold my hands and stay? Then…I will for sure…”

Ram gave her a confident press. “Yes. We will be here, Emilia.”

“And as much and as many nights as you need.” Rem nodded, her gaze, friendly and warm.

Subaru looked away, a sea of conflicting emotions bubbling to the surface. ‘It is not my moment, not my spotlight! Hers!’ He turned back to her, an expression made of steel. “If that’s what you need, La-Emilia-tan. It shall be done.”

The rest of the late evening would be spent with them making small talk, slowly luring Emilia into a restful sleep. Her last, mumbled words were, “I trust…you…”

Subaru forced himself to blink. He clenched his teeth. He may hate to let the words go without rebuttal but, tonight, she was the one who dictated the script. The one who moved the pieces. Anything less would be a sin. His Providence was this. No matter how much he knew he did not deserve to be here, no matter how much he hated how she trusted him, how she depended on him, today was the day they break towards their happy ending. Subaru would not take this from them. Redirection and corrections would come later but tonight was hers to dictate.

Ram made no intent nor gesture that revealed any desire to go to Roswaal, her eyes a shield against the plans hatching behind them. But they were on Emilia, her unlikely friend. A new part of her life that she had let in but had never accounted for. She may be a klutz, an idiot, a lonely girl, but she was her friend, her klutz, her idiot. And she knew she would prevail against the demons of her past.

Rem smiled, worry in her eyes yet her trust in Emilia unbreakable. Her self doubt and lack of confidence had been a mirror that, while an uncomfortable reflection at the beginning, was now being unveiled into a royal candidate worthy of her path forward. Her determination to fix her mistakes, to save her people from the ice, worthy of the highest praise. Rem would help. There was no doubt of that.

…

As morning came, Subaru woke up first. Redoing his collar, redusting his suit with his free hand, he looked to the door. He had fucked up. He had made a severe miscalculation that he could not backtrack. He had never…He never… Subaru shook his head, his fingers tapping the chair. ‘Unfeasible…I will only be able to set up the most important ones. I have…eight hours, thirty two minutes and twenty seven seconds. I…I can’t do both things. If I join in the fight I won’t reach the mansion.’ His gaze turned to Ram. Could…could he dare too? Should he not be there and something did go wrong… He shook his head, unwilling to even imagine it. He couldn’t really just… His gaze kept laser focused on Ram. Breathing. Dreaming. Alive. And without Roswaal’s instructions, having chosen both Emilia and Rem for a night.

…could he have done the same?...He already knew the answer. He couldn’t have trusted his own words to save a single plant, let alone with the life of Emilia. His checkpoints? Doing whatever they wanted. They were a moving piece. From Satella and Envy, yes, but a moving piece not by his hand. He couldn’t tr…He blinked. Ram shuffled on her chair, hand still on Emilia’s.

No, no, no. They could not be right. Of course he trusted them all. It was just that they did not have the perfect information. That they could make mistakes and not loop back. That they could move in a way that would cancel his only ability. That they go past his ability to loop and be lost forever. He would not bet on that. He couldn’t. He mustn’t.

He could not bet that on anything. He would have to do better…he…he couldn’t let them take the brunt of things. That was his purpose, his duty. That was his way to…No, not to atone, never to atone. To…To just. ‘Dangerous train of thought. Divert. Philosophy after the main plan has been decided and I can waste time.’ He needed to deal with the current problem. Start then!

He looked down, utterly lost. Despite all of his knowledge, despite all of his authorities, he could not be in two different places at the same time. He had no cards to play. He had overestimated his hand. He had not talked it out with Reinhard when he had his chance. He had not befriended either Felix nor Julius. He…he had messed up again. Could he do it himself? There…there was a way. Yes.

He blinked. Yes. Yes he would do it. As he raised from his chair something stopped him. Looking down, Emilia’s hand was still around his. Should he pull free, he would break another promise. But, what did his word matter when it was worthless? When he had, not once in his life, held up a single promise? He frowned, coldness coming to his glare as he locked onto that hand. That barrier. That nuisance. He did not have to let any of them in. He shouldn’t. That was not his purpose. His purpose was quite clear! It was to make them happy! Subaru’s presence could never, had never done that so Subaru was unneeded in this equation. Only what he could do mattered.

His right, trembling hand approached hers to remove it. To sever this unnecessary bond. To finally close his heart fully and become a tool. Emilia would, must be fine without him here. She would be able to win against her past. He had done enough, right? He had mingled enough, right? He could sever, separate, go away, return to being the A…

“Barusu.” 

He tensed up, the soft whisper of the maid stabbing at him. He slowly turned to her.

Her stare was on his eyes. Stable, not judgemental, not angry. Just understanding. “If this is what you truly want. I won’t stop you. I know you can do everything by yourself. You will keep looping, keep going far, far away, so far that you will have seen more of our mirages than of ourselves. But you will break through. You will meet your goals should you do that.” She blinked slowly. “And I can’t stop you. It is your choice, Barusu. Despite what we said before, what we wanted you to see, what we want, you can still make us…happy like that. Yes. It will reach a point where your memories won’t hurt anymore.”

“But…are you sure you want that? Because I can tell you I don’t.” Her calm gaze was worse than her anger, slowly peeling away the justifications, the excuses, the words his script was falling to come up with fast enough. “And I can tell you what I do want. I want Rem to be happy. I would like it if Emilia reached her objective and unfroze her tribe. I would love it if a freed Roswaal was there, helping along the way. If Garfiel could manage to get past his fears, past Sanctuary. I would not even mind if that fake merchant got his money back.” Her stare had something in it that kept him silent, that turned that ashen candle of hope into a sudden blazing fire. A last hurrah of a broken soul which wanted only to scream for help. “And I want you there too. I want our back and forth to feel, to be real. I want you to enjoy, truly enjoy teaching Emilia. For there to not be barriers between you and me. Between you and all of us. For you to decide to live that happy ending with us. For you to also be happy. For your happy ending to exist.”

Subaru looked down, pouring water into the fire. “I wouldn’t deserve it.”

Ram poured gasoline. “It is not up to you to decide if you deserve my dream, my happiness, for me.”

“I’m not sure I can be what you want, what you hope.” He shut down the windows.

“You don’t have to be. You can just be you.” She broke the door.

“And what if your worst fears come to be? What if you are wrong, what if…” The flame, kindled, forced his words ahead and his script was discarded for once, “What if I’m not all that you hope I could be? What if I fail, what if I make you sad, what if I’m not enough?”

“Then I shall deal with it once it happens. Ram can be more than enough for both of us.” Her eyes…

Subaru looked away, first to break their duel of gazes. ‘How…how many seconds...how much time has passed? I…I don’t know…’ His clock had failed him, he had jumped a number. “I…I need to go.” He started to shuffle on his seat. He needed to restart again. He could not go without his timers. He couldn’t fall into this, into fake hope. He needed to move, to act, to advance. Not to wallow in self-regret, not to try and make amends. He shouldn’t try, he didn’t deserve, he…

“Barusu. You are your own man. Why say what you are going to do? That just makes me want to say no.” Ram tilted her head a bit, her lips curling up. “Or is that what you want? Do you want me to ask you to stay?”

Subaru stiffened. ‘Move!’'

Ram blinked. The mischievousness went away. “Stay.” A heartfelt plea. A soft hand that wanted to hold him.

Subaru stayed. He cursed every unknown second. But he stayed. He broke his vows, his words again, he stayed.

…

The morning birds sang their tunes. The lazy morning rays of the Sun wormed their way into a still sleeping Emilia. Frowning a bit, she grimaced and turned around, her restful night too sweet to give up only just now. Soft voices around her made her curl up, her body refusing the call of daylight. Her memories slowly came back to her. Blinking away, she tried to pull her hands towards his eyes only to notice resistance.

Blinking more, she opened her eyes and gazed around the room. Ram, Rem, Subaru.

“You…you kept your word.” 

Ram raised an eyebrow. “Was there any doubt, Emilia?”

Rem puffed out her chest. 

Subaru’s eyes twinkled sadly yet he nodded, his fingers hammering his chair. “You asked for it, Emilia. I may have wavered but here I am.”

Emilia blinked a few more times. “Is…that chair not that good?” The metaphor went over her.

Subaru did not know what to say to that as he was still scriptless.

Ram rolled her eyes. “It is Barusu’s own fault. His weight just collapsed the poor wood below.” She shook her head. “All of those new big muscles and he still breaks the furniture.”

Emilia tilted her head. “Huh? I never noticed Subaru was gaining muscle.” Both turned to him. Rem frowned. She hadn’t either.

Ram stiffed, also turning her glare towards Subaru. 

Subaru shrugged. “They say muscle weighs more than fat.” Looking at the window, he got off his chair. “My apologies, but I really have to get going. Duty calls.” As he turned back he was met with three expectant gazes. “Is there a problem?”

“Subaru, what duty? Aren’t I the one who…” Emilia frowned, noticing he was not referring to the trials. Her eyes gained steel. “No, Subaru. Just take care.”

Rem nodded at him. “Good luck, Subaru-kun.”

“Do try to not do your worst, Barusu.”

“...that easy?”

The three of them nodded. He shook his head, throwing a last glance backwards as he left.

…

Garfiel growled, his forehead covered in sweat. Yet the man in front was not bending nor going down. The time limit of ten minutes was rapidly approaching. “Stop dodging, walking suit!” Another punch and this one finally struck him in the side of his head.

Emilia, watching, grimaced. Rem examined the wound. Ram frowned.

Subaru, bleeding from his forehead, had gotten up again.

Garfiel backed a step, still in a fighting stance. “Walking suit, you lost three times.”

The black-haired man smiled, the ever ticking clock in his favour. “Those are not the rules, sir Garfiel. We agreed on a time limit of ten minutes and that, to win, one of the opponents must surrender. We never specified another condition for a loss.”

Garfiel’s face darkened. “That so?” He lunged forward, grabbing his hands and pushing him down. “Then let’s get serious, yeah?” Subaru smirked. Subaru kneeled. Subaru’s bones started to crack. Garfiel pushed downwards a bit more, every second expecting a surrender that did not come. “Come on, walking suit, don’t make this any harder…” He found himself growling, noticing the three worried glances from the witnesses.

“This duel I have to win, sir Garfiel.” Subaru’s right arm cracked, the bone piercing through muscle and skin. Emilia gasped. Rem jumped to her feet yet was hesitant to intercede. Ram’s back was no longer on the tree.

Garfiel growled more. He pushed downwards a bit more. Another bone shattered. He grimaced. This was no longer fun, why was he pushing it this far? Subaru lowered even more but his confident eyes never wavered. As if they could not. As if they were allowed not to. Filled with a Knight’s resolve, Garfiel could but stare at the man below. A Knight going against unbeatable odds yet one whose gaze was a mirror to victory. Garfiel stopped pressuring and let go. “Fuck you, son of a...” He shook his head. “I surrender.” He started to turn around. He shook his head. Who was he to stop a real knight?

Rem and Emilia rushed in to heal an uncaring Subaru as he moved his right arm, broken and bleeding, to grab Garfiel’s. “I need to cash in that favour.”

Garfiel blinked as he stopped. “‘S that so?”

“But not here, let’s do as Likpo and Mindu, alright?”

Garfiel gave him a slow nod, not that surprised he knew that reference. Hands on the back of his head, he retreated as his sharp ears heard the ruckus the four of them were causing behind out of worry for him. Garfiel sighed. He really had jumped the gun with the bastard. Still, he had been very cocky. 

…

Crossed arms, Garfiel waited in front of a small stream of water under a tree with a branch that crossed it. Subaru arrived at the exact time of the tale. Side eyeing him, Garfiel snarled. “What favour was it that you wanted?”

“You need to retreat all of the Ryuzus. Roswaal’s going to move and it won’t be pretty. You need to protect Sanctuary again. I can’t stop his flames in time”

Garfiel fell silent. “Tell me what to do.”

Subaru froze. “That…that easy? You trust me l…”

Garfiel left the tree and, grabbing him by the collar, he raised him in midair. “Walking suit, now’s not the time for your self-flagellation. Yes, I trust your damned words! Now speak!”

Subaru nodded, not minding the manhandling. “Move everybody to the cathedral. Roswaal’s not the worst thing that’s coming but he is the one I can’t manage in time and prevent undue damage. His magic will overflow. The surroundings of the road we came from will be affected. Do not let anyone go outside.” Subaru frowned, hatred shining in his eyes. “And less when it starts to snow. No matter what. Do not let them leave.”

Garfiel noticed but nodded nonetheless. “Fine.” Garfiel stared at his arms. “How are those?”

Subaru blinked and turned to him. “To what are you referring?”

“Nevermind, ti’s nothing.” He kicked the worry away. His feline eyes returned to his face. “You got this?”

Subaru’s face turned steel. His mind, diamond. “I will have it in due time. My Providence will fail me not this time. I refuse. I will win.” Subaru tugged at his shirt’s collar. “You can trust me in that. I will win, no matter the cost. Nothing nor nobody will be left behind.”

“I see…” Garfiel’s stare should have been unnerving. Terrifying. The knight in front balked not. His purpose on his sleeve, he looked nothing like the tales he read. The dramas, the adventures. But he acted as one. He felt like one. “I got it, knight Subaru. Give that clown a beating in my name.”

Subaru’s empty expression broke into a tiny smirk. “I will do so, Garfiel.”

His gaze turned suspicious as he stared at the shrinking back of Subaru. He clenched and unclenched his hands. He shook his head and went to search for Ram. Knights did not fight alone, after all.

…

“Huh.” Emilia muttered, hand on a fork filled with meat. “I think this is the first time we take a meal all together in three weeks.” 

Subaru, already done with his portion, tilted his head a tiny bit as he thought about the timeline. “It…it has been a small while, hasn’t it?”

Rem nodded. Her gaze turned cold. “It got hectic with the Witch Cult and the White Whale.”

“And with sir’s meltdown.” Ram interjected again, bruteforcing the topic. As silence fell again, she grabbed a napkin and cleaned her lips from any rest from food. As calm as if she had commented over the weather, she took a sip of water and turned her gaze towards Subaru. “Now, have you thought about what we said?”

Subaru crossed his legs and reclined on his chair, starting to balance on two of its legs, his eyes now cold. “There was nothing to think about, miss Ram. I believe I am in the right and you think otherwise. It is a matter of opinion.”

“It is not a matter of opinion that you are Barusu and always have. I…” Ram closed her eyes and breathed in. “I…I apologise.” Her voice lowered midway.

Subaru’s surprise made him back too much and he fell with the chair. Not letting out a grunt, Subaru turned to her like she was mad. “May…may you repeat what you just said?”

Ram shook her head. “While I was mostly right, I may have blamed you for the wrong things.” Ram opened her eyes, staring straight at Subaru. “You were not rejecting to face me but yourself. You did not believe I could not help you. You thought you did not deserve it. You trust me but you do not trust yourself with me.” She shuffled on her chair. “You treated me like a mirage because you really think I am one. And, yes, I was not invited to your happy ending because you believe you will not have one. And that is what I refused.”

Subaru frowned, slowly getting off the ground. “So now you change your emotional outburst to a different one? That does not change what I am, miss Ram.” 

“Of course not, Subaru-kun.” A second voice joined in. “We know who you have always been. You. From the beginning to the end, mask on or off, you have been the same caring, worrying person of ever.” Rem rested her utensils on her plate. “And I still agree with what I said. You are wasting your life because you are not living. You are acting, working, protecting, training. But you are never letting yourself be you. You do not let yourself enjoy things, look at sights, to pause, stop and rest. And why you do that is the same reason you refuse to trust us. You are afraid of us, of what you could do to us.” Rem shook her head. “Subaru-kun, friends harm and help each other. It’s natural.”

“Then I will be a knight that only helps! Why is that hard for you to let you do my…”

“Because it pains us to see you suffering, Subaru.” Emilia joined in last. Her gaze turned down. “You held me down and accompanied me for two days because you were worried about me, because you wanted me to be alright. Because you cared.” Her piercing stare turned to him. “But you refuse us when we want to do something for you and that makes us mad because it is unjust! Why are you the only one allowed to take on weight? Friendship goes both ways! You can’t claim to be one and reject the meaning behind the word!” 

Subaru’s fist struck the ground. “Why do you care?! Why would you even do so? Why would you even be sad if I am tired, overworked or dead?! I am Subaru!” Subaru barked, done with these words that went against everything he had built. How could he accomplish his purpose if it included him in it?! That would only leave his sins forgiven. He must never be happy. He was supposed to be punished, but no one remembered his crimes but him. He must be his own jury, jailor and tortured. It would be unjust otherwise.

“That is exactly why we would be. You would be in pain.” Ram muttered, loud enough to be heard.

“I would care. I care.” Rem stated, her tone firm.

“If you are, I only want to help you even more!”

Subaru turned again, his barriers up. His walls, unassailable. He could not cave in. He deserved not to. “Why? It happens all the time, I die all the time! I am a ghost that is haunting you from beyond the grave! You should reject me, kick me out again, call me what I really am! A betrayer, the one failed you, the one who killed you!”

“And I told you already, Barusu, that I care not for ghosts. Those images you see, that you lose yourself to, are no longer here. They are no longer real. But I am. And I will not do what you ask.” She reclined in her chair. “If anything, I vow to the contrary.”

Before he could add something Rem struck again. “It happening all the time does not make it alright, Subaru-kun.”

Emilia shook her head. “I didn’t know anything about it…But now I do. Now you finally let us in. And I won’t stand for how you treat yourself!”

Subaru froze at that. His expression darkened. He had spoken too much, again. His mind, a chaotic storm of mirages of forsaken loops, old loops and new realities. His hand moved to his bastard sword before Rem’s words replayed again. He looked away. “I have not let anyone in nor will I.”

Ram rolled her eyes. As she was going to say something she noticed a change in Subaru.

His expression lost all emotions for half a second. A wave of pain went by for a fourth of it. Exhaustion the next portion and a return to his emotionless face. “My…my apologies but, I need to get going.” 

Raising from the ground, Subaru dusted himself off. His new and defeated body language gave pause to their words. Sighing, his dead eyes turned to them. “So be it…And, thanks for trusting me and having my back. I…I will try to do so. You seem to be happier when I trust you back.” Subaru turned to Ram, uncaring for their surprised expressions. “Ram-chi, you will have an important choice to make today. Let your heart pick. I won’t blame either choice and will respect both.” Bowing once, Subaru then left the house.

Rem frowned. “What was…”

Ram looked at his back as he left. Could he not really loop to stop her next words? “Rem, Emilia, I have something to confess about Barusu.” 

…

Chapter Text

(L̅X̅X̅X̅V̅MMMCCXXXII)

Tugging at his gloves, Subaru walked under the setting sun on the road they had come to Sanctuary from. Next on his grooming was his shirt and coat themselves, smoothing whatever creases there happened to be. Lastly, his collar, momentarily freeing his neck. He never wore a bowtie nor a tie due to the bad experiences he had had with items around his neck. Content with his appearance, he stopped fifteen metres away from his current objective.

Roswaal, having waited patiently for his preparations, tilted his head. Bandages rested below his usual clothes. His make-up, on point. His cold eyes on Subaru. His stance, casual but revealing a bit of rage. “Heya, time traveller. I think you already know what I am about to do, right? The Roswaals of other timelines should have danced this waltz with you before.”

Subaru answered not, motionless as a statue. His hand, in his pocket, was touching the fragments of Puck’s magic stone.

“You made one mistake, time traveller. You believed the same thing I did.” Roswaal smiled. “That you could never reach this far. You doubted yourself and copied step by step what had worked before. But, Subaru, did you never notice, really?” His smile turned dangerous. “You never stopped me from being able to kill your so-called friends. I can only guess the other Roswaal did not do such out of the right belief in you following the Book of Wisdom for, after all, our little vow only takes effect after the half-elf surpasses the trial, a thing she will never accomplish.” He clapped his hands. “Go back, boy. Let’s end this night with you contracting the Witch and leaving before my snow falls.”

“Clown, there’s something you should already know too. And take it from a time traveller who does know better. I have yet to see a prophecy that can’t come untrue and, even if yours truly was one, a prophecy that won’t come true if you do not act a certain way is no prophecy at all. You can’t follow a half-assed Providence.” Subaru tugged at his collar. “You either make it or it does not exist. Now, clown, which one’s yours? Because I have an inkling. You can’t bend the world and act like it was already predestined to happen. You make your choices, Roswaal. Not the book. And the book has already been proven wrong, right? After all, once it forces you to make it snow is only to force a reset. My reset. My loop. My Providence.”

His eyes grew colder. “Go back, time traveller.” His fake accent of always gone, Roswaal snapped her fingers, casting an enormous Al-Goa. “A cheater like you will never understand true wisdom nor what a prophecy truly is.”

Subaru raised an eyebrow. “And your Book doesn’t cheat, really?” He sighed, his gaze moving to the Al-Goa. “And, again, didn’t I tell you to switch up your spells? You are a very boring mage.”

“Last chance, time traveler.”

“Shoot away, clown.” At his words, the dead end was launched at his face with unreal velocity. Subaru sighed and closed his eyes. Twenty eight thousand, eight hundred and thirty three lives that had been wasted in vain. Twenty five years. A never ending repetition of the same evening. Countless planning and years of learning poisons only for it to radically change. But, still, it did not feel awful. It had been as easy as letting go and restarting from scratch.

Before the fiery armageddon hit the black-haired man, a stone wall rose from the ground in front to meet the challenge head on. The fire consumed the grass, evaporated water, dusted dirt and melted stone yet the wall-ground held its own against its explosion. The remains of the fire spell raining on the dirt road, igniting dozens of tiny fires.

“Nerves of steel, walking suit.” Garfiel left the shadows of the forest. Hands on the back of his head, he walked towards Subaru and stood next to him.

“Beautiful timing, sir Garfiel.” His tone apathetic, Subaru never looked away from a stiffened clown. He tugged at his gloves.

“It would be commendable if he hadn’t panicked at seeing the mastery of Roswaal-sama’s magic progress.” Quipped Ram from the same side, joining the line too with Rem right behind.

Rem gave Subaru an unapologetic smile as they stood in their positions next to him.

Roswaal frowned. “Ram, I thought better of you.” His murderous attention turned to the three newcomers. “This is not the way you will get what you crave.”

Ram pulled her wand out. “You are wrong there, Roswaal-sama. This is the timeline I bring you out of your insanity.” Her eyes flickered to Subaru. “It is Providence, I have heard.”

Roswaal stomped on the ground, the impact raising a small cloud of dust. “You don’t understand the magnitude of your mistake! Should you side with me now we could use the time traveller to make all of our wishes come true! There would be no glory, no action, no future beyond our reach! Everything would become as it should! As we want!”

“He is not a tool for our convenience.”

His glare went to Garfiel. “And you, boy? What’s your stake here? Shouldn’t you be against the time traveller’s objective? He will force you all out, to face the outside world!”

Garfiel rolled his shoulders and squared up. “He told me to stand and watch as I was proven wrong, not to not cave your skull in.”

“How can you even trust his words? He has placed the board in this exact point! What if he is playing you all?” His infuriated gaze went to Ram. “You, of all of them, should know how it feels to be part of a plan you have no say in!”

“Master Roswaal,” Interrupted Rem, her gaze as cold as her ice magic and not enjoying being ignored, “To accuse another of playing others when you yourself did so is not what a good lord should do. You should accept your defeat with grace.”

“Exactly.” She pointed her wand at her master. “Roswaal-sama, you already know your Gospel has failed you. You already know you have been defeated and that Lady Emilia will beat the trials.”

“People don’t change!” Another stomp, this one caved the ground in. He pointed his finger at the man. “You lose a battle of wits with a schemer and your tune plays a different melody? Shoddy, superficial! The half-elf will fail. You will all die here today. He will bend the knee. And I will force him to loop no matter how many tries it takes!”

“So, even though you will accomplish your objective either way, you will make this senseless stand?” Subaru muttered. “Is the writing of that half-assed book that important to you? The illusion of control? Will the need to have all the answers neatly arranged beforehand override what…who you are, clown?” He started to walk forward. “Have you forgotten how to act without a script?”

Roswaal snapped his fingers, creating a small storm of electricity on his arm.

Subaru stopped five metres away. “Last chance, Ros-chi.” He faced his killer, his destructor, his dead end. The face of the man that had carpet bomber Sanctuary. The face of the man that had killed everyone with no remorse, trying to make him loop. The man that had simply gone away and left them all to the Great Rabbit. He extended his hand towards him. “We can stop. Today can simply not come to be. I have vowed to revive Echidna, your book has accomplished its purpose. Sanctuary will be freed. This Providence is no measly prophecy, it is fact. You can accept it.” He sighed. His tone moved from the robotic speech and gained a grain of pity. “I also run on preplanned speeches, on already known days. But I see a new day every once in a while, new dialogues I am unprepared for, actions that I couldn’t have seen coming. And you can deal with it too, you are stronger than me, after all.”

“...and this is your resolve?” His voice ignited further. “You are but a weak, frail, minuscule shadow of a man who is only clinging to a past he can’t dare return to speaking about second chances, begging for others’ pity and regrets!” He pointed his spell at him. “Your love is nothing in comparison to mine. Your so-called providence is but a joke. Your meek speech won’t shame me into change. My devotion remains as strong as the day it was forged.”

“Denial isn’t strength, Roswaal. I have spent longer than your lifespan trying to smash my head through harder walls to no avail.”

“You!” Just as he was going to discharge his spell his arm was broken and bent, causing it to aim downwards and cause an enormous dust cloud. The explosion knocked him back just in time to open the path for a speeding carriage to rush in from Subaru’s left. Grabbing Otto’s arm, Subaru was helped on as it rushed towards the mansion under the cover of Roswaal’s folly.

A wave of wind dispelled the obstruction and Roswaal’s scowl followed the carriage. Not minding his broken arm he raised his left only for a wind of blade to cut some of his hair. Roswaal didn’t turn around. “So you are letting the coward run away? Despite knowing fully well he left you to die here?”

Ram scoffed at that. “Barusu? He is going towards a bigger danger than he thinks you to be, master Roswaal.”

Now he turned halfway around. “Ram, your sister will die today if you do not bring back the time traveller.”

Chains struck the ground. “Rem thinks otherwise. She will free her sister from you, mage.” Her horn grew, shining with dark purpose. 

“Talking’s over, son of a bitch. I will enjoy this!” Garfiel’s body changed, morphing into a towering tiger whose roar ended the small fires around him.

Roswaal fully turned towards them. “So be it. Your smoking carcasses will be reason enough for him to loop.”

Garfiel and Rem both rushed forward. Garfiel, his feline body up to the task, was the first to reach Roswaal. But his four legged run had a problem, a tiny gap in which all of his paws were fully off the ground. Before his jaws could take Roswaal’s left arm the ground below was lowered, leaving him in mid air. A kick to his head followed that, closing his mouth and launching him upwards. A new wave of wind pushed him down the road. A snap of Roswaal’s fingers and a fire tornado roared to existence, covering a twelve metres cylinder that ignited the surrounding forest into a wildfire.

“That’s one down.” Coolly said Roswaal as the fire magic consumed the body inside its hell. With a carefree movement his head dodged Rem’s morningstar’s strike. His left arm grabbed its chains, locking it in place. Rem’s growls did little to overpower his magically enhanced strength as Roswaal started to pull, Rem’s feet carving the terrain below but her hold unable to resist.

A blade of sharp air hit his defensive barrier. Raising an eyebrow, he turned towards a paling Ram. “That’s it? This was your plan? I am…” His feet slipped in a careful covered hole just below his feet. His stance was broken and the small stakes in the hole were revealed, tainted in sickly yellow liquid. Rem was able to move him towards her and pull her weapon free.

Frowning, Roswaal tried to redo his footing and evade stepping on the stakes before an enormous claw struck the barrier on his back, breaking it and pushing him forward. His unsteady feet triggered a second trap. A sharp, wet small dagger bypassed his weakened defenses and attention but he managed to turn his head to the side, reducing the wound to a cut across his cheek.

Unsteady, Roswaal ducked under Rem’s next strike as he kicked Garfiel’s mouth away, knocking out a few fangs. ‘No stinging. Slow acting poison? Why w…’ As his hands readied a counterpoison spell, his alertness wavered and Rem’s weapon crushed through his defenses and hit his right shoulder. Thankfully, no pain. No broken bones. His position, still, was horrible. Moving both arms to the sides, he created a torrent of wind to try and create some space. 

That was met with a wind blade that carved into his side. More particularly into a pocket, revealing a book and a new painless slash on his side. Panicking, Roswaal dispelled his torrent of wind and grabbed the book. Both Rem and Garfiel restarted their rush towards him and Roswaal jumped, activating his flight magic. His movement now free, it was dirty easy to dodge both Rem’s weapon and block Ram’s attack magic.

Roswaal shook his head, eyeing the traps he had fallen into. No more playing fair on another's board. His next wave directed the fire tornado forward. Just as it started to move Roswaal was assaulted by all of the accumulated pain. A grievous fever and tremors rouse up. He turned lightheaded, his back and side profusely bleeding no longer going unnoticed. His arms and right shoulder were pure pain. He faltered upon this predemeditated mental attack and lost altitude rapidly, his chaotic landing crashed him against a tree. The fire tornado died down, extinguished by the breaking of his concentration.

‘Paralytic poi…’ A small tick of another trap made him jump up again. The tree branch had been aimed exactly at that position, having taken his dodge into account. Roswaal turned around, his injured right arm hit again and his fly spell finally ended due to that wave of pain. Rolling on the ground, he casted two barriers that blocked both sisters' attacks. ‘Where is G…’ Trusting his instincts, he casted another barrier below, dodging a pitfall. The trade-off was being hit by Garfiel’s paw, slamming him against that newly created barrier, his weakened barriers barely stopping him from being squashed.

His unsteady hands casted an electricity spell, discharging it into the beast above and knocking him out. Finally on his feet, he grabbed Rem’s weapon and with a mighty swing slammed the oni into another tree, her back hitting a burning tree and becoming embedded in it. ‘Now, the p…’ A too fastly recovered Garfiel was already upon him. Blocking his strike, he grabbed the leg and broke it while his barrier stopped Garfiel’s fangs from squashing his head like a rotten tomato. A kick that broke ribs and Garfiel was thrown away.

He threw himself forward, dodging a morningstar strike. Turning around, his empowered hand cut the flying chain in two. Roswaal blinked. The maid had thrown the weapon and was running with demonic speed towards him. A punch arrived at his head, barely stopped by the cracking barriers.

“Enough!” Roared Roswaal, a wave of mana knocking everything in a radius of four metres away. Trees toppled down, ashes became fog and a zone was cleared of fires. He breathed in, or forced himself to, his lungs now affected by the poison that, while improvised, was still running amok in his body. Raising to his feet, he looked around.

A destroyed road filled with holes, a burning forest, a four metre tall tiger slowly getting to his feet, a maddened maid freezing her dress to stop the flames, a tired and bleeding servant still far away. His glare turned dagger. He rushed forward, smashing the wall of ice casted to stop his movements. Should he reach Ram he would be able to deal with them one by one. He did not know how they were getting up nor what trickery was in place, but he expected it to have to do something wi…

The ground below opened up. He jumped. A crossbow bolt was reflected by his barrier, its poison splashing against his bleeding side. Growling from the pure burning sensation, he tried to zigzag, activating even more traps. A tree log, more pits, more throwing knives. It mattered not how chaotically was he moving. What path he took. He was unable to properly close the distance between dodges and hits. His choice to rush towards Ram had proven f- A wind of blade hit his book, his arm too weakened to hold onto it. Roswaal watched as it soared through the sky and ended into the forest fire he had created, his body crawling to a stop.

Roswaal couldn’t blink. He watched the print, paper and hide turn into ashes in front of his very own eyes.

“There it is. It’s gone, finally. No matter how loud you scream your denial, me being able to rebel like this is enough. You yourself know this is a tantrum, master Roswaal, y...”

Rem screamed in fear as she sped up. Garfiel roared. Ram was interrupted by an enormous fireball rushing towards her. Flinching, she closed her eyes expecting the impact.

“Sister!” Rem, lucid enough thanks to fear, casted her magic and threw her own shards of ice towards Roswaal’s magic, trying in vain to stop it.

What did not try in vain was a sudden barrier around Ram. B.M.M., Providence’s hand, trapped Roswaal’s fire magic in the infinite. Half a second the fireball spent scouring the insides of a space that would stop to be, and half a second was enough for both Ram to start dodging and Rem’s magic to reach that very same space, slowing down too yet, once the spell was dispelled, hitting and lessening Roswaal’s magic.

Ram was impacted and thrown through the air for a few seconds. Landing on the hard ground, she rolled around as bruises formed and bones were broken. Roswaal toppled down too, felled by shock, injuries and various poisons. Garfiel cancelled his beatification while Rem rushed and kneeled in front of her sister and started to heal her.

Growling at her state, Garfiel turned to the mage. Claws out, he wanted nothing but to destroy the monster in front. Yet, when Roswaal had been wide open, Ram had not aimed at him. He approached the man and started his own healing magic.

Around them, the only conclusion of this fight had been a raging wildfire under lazy snowfall.

………

“Natsuki-san, was that really necessary?” A sweating merchant was rolling his left shoulder that had almost popped out.

“My apologies, sir Otto. I needed haste.” Shuffling to the border of the seat, Subaru gazed backwards. ‘Give me this, Satella, Envy, whoever of you that is changing my checkpoints. Your seal will protect you not should you lock me away with any of them dying today.’ And just when his thought ended he burst into flames as a fire tornado appeared on the road.

Otto shrieked and almost fell backwards as he tried to escape the sudden blaze. “Natsuki!?”

“You did not need my blessings, was it, boy?” A cold and dangerous voice resounded from his pocket as the fire died down. The carriage, slightly burnt, was partially frozen now. “Fine with me, you owe me one.” The voice died down as the magic stone fully cracked into sand.

Subaru, as if nothing had happened, tugged at the collar of his severely damaged shirt, his clothes, hair and skin smoking. “Yes, sir Otto?” He frowned a bit as his eyes scanned the ‘road’, more like wilderness, ahead. “Pardon me but you should return your attention to the front. We appear to be in a crashing course.”

Blinking repeatedly, Otto glanced ahead and screamed again. Pulling onto the reins he finally redirected the speeding carriage to where it should be going. “Od below! Do you usually just spontaneously combust into flames every once in a while?!”

Subaru glared in frustration at the torn ashes that his hands had grabbed from his collar. He would need a new suit, again. “Every second Tuesday, why?”

“Wait, what?!” Otto’s attention was redirected again by the serious-looking answer. “Re…really?”

“No.” Subaru closed his eyes and reclined on his seat, ignoring now his tremors and extreme sweating. He flinched not when he received the pain of Roswaal being hit on the back nor on the clavicle. “It was the clown’s magic.”

“I…” Otto gazed backwards for half a second just in time to see the fire tornado in all of its glory be. “What are you…” His words failed him as his mouth opened wide.

“The Penitent King, sir Otto.” He snickered at his chosen title, uncaring from the effects of his authority. “And you should always remember that the king is but another piece to use at your convenience. Even so, in my case this king of myself is very greedy so it tends to be everywhere at once.”

Otto shook his head. Looking ahead, he repressed a shudder as a new wave of burnt flesh’s odour emanated from Subaru as he started to convulse for a few seconds. He shrunk himself as he heard several cracks from Subaru’s bones, mostly the right side. “...I can’t heal you, Natsuki-san, so don’t overdo…whatever it is that you are doing.”

Subaru nodded, blood leaking from his mouth as he had involuntarily bit his cheeks thanks to the electricity discharge. His fingers, always tapping on the seat below. He needed precision. He frowned, feeling through their pain and injuries. Garfiel rapidly healing. Rem’s burning skin only to be slightly frozen after. A small pause. Bright panic.

“B.M.M.” His gate started to crack at too rapid of a velocity as he sent the positive effect towards Ram. His insides sickened, his muscles spasmed, his magic was depleted. His gate broke fully. He dispelled the Authority’s effect. Coughing, he turned around and puked his guts out, being careful to not taint the carriage nor the seats in front. ‘Still four blue points.’ “...your choice, Ram. Won’t hold it against you.” ‘Will need a few months of rehabilitation. Possibly this will become a loop in half an hour, I will see.’

He closed his eyes, cracked bones and unstable insides were but a weight he would have to deal with during the mansion’s raid. He must succeed. But a new checkpoint without any of them dying would be severely appreciated.

“Sir Otto, tell me, do you have a dream? Something to do after this?”

“What a sudden topic change!” Shuffling again on his seat, Otto wiped the sweat off his forehead as he directed the ground dragons forward, skillfully managing both his Divine Protection to find the quickest way back and their direction. “Can’t it really wait for later?!”

“Later? You are running away from your rampaging, bloodthirsty lord, the finest mage of the kingdom, and towards two of the most dangerous assassins and you are speaking about a later?” Another tiny chuckle. “Isn't it pure arrogance to believe there will be a later?”

“We are going towards what?!” Otto’s primary reaction was to stop the carriage, something that he was currently unable to do thanks to their speed. “And what do you mean bloodthirsty lord?! From what I heard that was your fault!”

“Weren’t we a team, sir Otto? You wound the meaning of friendship.” He shrugged, ignoring the pangs of pain that motion caused. After all, he had neither their regenerative powers nor was he able to steal their healing from them. His wounds, if only a portion of theirs, would remain until healed later. “But do tell, I am interested.”

“You can’t just dodge the issue this way!” Breathing in so as to not lose his calm while driving, he shook his head. “Well, for starters I want to live to see tomorrow!”

Subaru nodded at that. “I see.”

“...and I would love to open a store. I am a merchant, after all.”

Subaru nodded again. 

“...do you have one, Natsuki?” His words interrupted Subaru’s answer. “And I don’t mean your purpose. What do you want to do?”

Subaru frowned. What a stupid question. “Why is that relevant?”

“Why was mine relevant?”

“Because you matter.”

“Exactly.”

Subaru’s clothes brushed against the ground as he searched for a second sitting position. For the rest of the trip only their mad rush was heard.

…

“Natsuki-san.”

Subaru looked up from the ground as he landed an uneasy jump. He raised an eyebrow.

“Come back.”

He froze up. “...I will try.” He looked at the mansion and tugged at his ruined gloves. “Remember the plan. Once miss Frederica and Petra arrive, run back towards Sanctuary. I have my exit readied already.”

Otto looked at him. Clenching his jaw, he looked away. “If you are not back in an hour I will be coming back.”

A nod. “I will make haste then.” And like that Subaru walked towards the mansion, half of his attention back on Sanctuary thanks to his Authority of Greed, able to see anybody on that blue, featureless map. His steps made no sound as he walked this nostalgic trip. How many times had he? He had lost count but it felt like decades. Centuries maybe?

No sticks nor leaves cracked under his trained feet. ‘How many mabeasts there are? Their tactics, attacks? Are they poisonous, stealthy? Meili is no problem by herself should she not be armed and at my back. Elsa…I need to be reminded of her tricks and skills. Around twenty thousand loops should suffice.’

…

Petra sighed as she cleaned a window. This week had been hard on the once carefree child. Despite her kind appearance, Frederica had no weaknesses when it came to maid training. There was no loop Petra could exploit, not that she really wanted to. Not anymore since... She shook her head, pushing that day out of her mind. Blinking, she wiped the window again only to see a small figure approaching the mansion. 

Squinting, she finally recognised Subaru. Happy yet surprised, she rushed down to meet him while Frederica, noticing the ruckus, followed her. It took her half a minute to come out of the mansion while Subaru entered through the main gate. Rushing to meet him, she threw herself in a hug that received a pat to her head.

“Miss Frederica.” His cold, business-like tone cooled down her excitement. “Could you transform and carry out miss Petra? We are in danger. Sir Otto has the carriage readied. You may need to fight some mabeast while running towards Sanctuary.”

The woman frowned. “Knight Subaru?” Petra looked up at him, her hands tightening her grip.

“It is an order from Lady Emilia, head maid.” His eyes glinted dangerously. “Or do you want to risk this child’s life?”

Biting down her reply she shook her head. Undressing, she soon transformed into an enormous white leopard. A second later and a screaming Petra was in her mouth as she ran away.

Subaru looked to the mansion, his hand on his bastard sword. He had killed himself enough times, his scent should be overwhelming. “I can return by death.” He whispered again and again, trying to enrage and bait any mabeasts to his position. After a while he entered into the mansion.

Empty hallways and clean rooms welcomed him. A silence not unlike the mansion of his past. Where laughter, happiness and unguardness had been substituted by forced acting and mad pursuits. Closing his eyes, he let his steps echo across the building, a call for whatever should be coming here. He doubted that the Bowel Hunter would not come for her prey. His mumbling continued, his fingers tapping at his sides while he was also counting steps.

A black hand of his Providence around the hilt of his sword, he crossed a corner. He opened his eyes just as a wolgarm jumped at him only for it to lose its head to a flying sword. Ducking below it, another Providence’s hand grabbed the corpse and used it as a shield against the projectiles from a second mabeast.

The sword flew forward, focusing its attention as a third hand flew under it. When the creature jumped to the left it collided against the intangible hand, it rushing to crush its heart. Subaru jumped backwards as a third mabeast crashed through a wall, his trusty kitchen knife finding its right eye and felling it before it could even finish its bite on empty air.

His sword being carried back, Subaru looked around. ‘It should be…there.’ His black hand turned the weapon upwards and charged with it just as Guiltylowe dived from the now broken ceiling above. Severing a wing due to it dodging and altering its trajectory, Subaru jumped forward using another three shadow hands to move as if he was flying around, the motion carving holes into the walls and ceiling.

The legendary beast impacted against the floor, breaking it and causing the building to tremble, dust to fall and roofs and walls to collapse. It roared again, both from pain and out of frustration at its failed ambush. Seeing its prey try to run away sent it into a frenzy, rushing to follow it but wary of any weird movements from that invisible stinger.

Each of its steps thundered across the building, breaking windows in its wake. More mabeasts outside, some also shot their quills and stings at Subaru through the new openings, his body dodging in uncanny motions, sometimes even dislocating arms and legs only for Invisible Providence to put them back correctly. His mad dash never stopped nor slowed down to corners, hallways nor stairs. His mumbling, never ending. The mabeasts around, slowly losing themselves to rage and starting to follow his mad rush.

Soon enough Subaru was the leader of a stampede, his black hands working overtime to catch all projectiles thrown his way and propulse him forwards towards that trapped room. ‘Phase one, done.’ He lowered himself to ground level and ran with his own legs, readying himself to enter it. His hands broke the doors of the room and the sacks of flour behind, creating a cloud of white dust that deterred not the mabeasts behind.

His Invisible Providence propelled him upwards while the walls behind were broken due to the rushing horde. Another ten arms hugged the pots of oil, pulling them into free falling on top of the congregation of beasts and of the torches pre-prepared in the room. A second later and Subaru found himself in the middle of another inferno.

Some of the beasts turned against the others. A few kept rushing ahead, colliding against the last wall and plummeting down towards their doom. Guiltylowe noticed the trap and jumped upwards just in time for Subaru to let himself drop and stab his bastard sword in its head. As the beast fell backwards Subaru’s Insivible Providence, grabbed into the ceiling, pulled him upwards again.

“Huh.” His eyes reflected the fires below, too big to be contained in time. ‘Small miscalculation but nothing to do about it now. This loop’s mansion shall burn.’ Uncaringly turning around Subaru ‘flew’ away with his Invisible Providence and sheathed his sword. Now he was on a second timer.

It mattered not, he was almost a third done. Returning to the ground, Subaru strolled towards the centre of the mansion, towards a very specific room that now was empty and had never been used for anything more than storage. Crossing an open door, Invisible Providence unsheathed his sword just in time to block a dagger.

“Tch!” Elsa jumped out of the room. After her failed sneak attack she needed open space to use all of her speed. Seeing Subaru simply look at her she slowed down a bit, wariness still up. “My contractor warned me of your interference, dear. Can’t say I’m not glad for the second chance to cut open your stomach.”

Subaru’s bored gaze did not move from her. “Today, I am offering you a chance, Bowel Hunter.” Elsa stiffened as the gaze became a blade. “I will kill Lust, Mother, whoever she chooses to be or what to be called and, while at it, I will offer you the opportunity to partake in your vengeance.”

Elsa redid her stance, knives ready on her hands. “Better men have tried before.”

“Thankfully I am no better man. I am the Archbishop of Pride.” His stare started to make her cold body sweat. “And, as such, I am offering you an open window towards redemption. Your past crimes will never go away but neither will your death bring the dead back.”

At that Elsa cackled. “And what’s the catch, Archbishop?” She twirled her weapons, her eyes scanning his stance. Mentally calculating the incoming duel.

“No more bowel collection for you.”

“I would rather die than take that deal, Archbishop.”

“Would miss Meili agree to that deal?”

Elsa tensed up. “...do not dare bring her to this!”

“I will for I am the one offering her an out for a better life.” Invisible Providence handed him his sword back. He raised it into an Ochs stance. “The years that went by won’t return but she is still a kid. She has a chance for normalcy, for happiness.”

Elsa rushed forward, her speed too fast for the eyes. Subaru blocked and counterattacked, chopping a hand. He turned around with a wide slash as Elsa stalked his back, her daggers falling short and only cut his coat as she was forced to jump backwards to evade her stomach being cleaved open.

“...last chance, for real this time.” Growled Subaru, his sword back in the same stance as before.

Elsa frowned. His longer reach and astounding reflexes were a real problem. Her speed mattered not if it was seen through. Still, noticing his unease she slithered towards her hand and healed her stump with it. “You are sounding less and less confident, dear.”

This time she feinted the rush forward, throwing three knives in quick succession before reaching him and jumping to the ceiling. Two blocks and a pained grunt were heard, speeding up her dash under the ceiling while she threw half a dozen needles below. Jumping down from the shadows, her swift landing was instantly received with a slash to her right eye, blinding her from that side. Uncaring, she tried to slash at the rapidly retreating man, who always kept her at a distance.

Slashes, cuts, stabs, all of them parried from a distance or slid away never to connect. She advanced a step, he retreated two and counterattacked, always making use of his longer range and the bigger open space of the hallway. Not relenting, Elsa kept her momentum and continuously attacked, her movements somewhat slowed thanks to her diverted attention towards the magic that the black haired man had used before. What could he move? Could he attack with it? Was there any tell?

A second cut to her face killed her left side vision this time. Blind, she slid her blades across his and jumped forward, diving for close combat quarters. A sidesweep kick and she found herself falling onto the ground. Glass broke, mabeasts roared and more quills and singers were launched towards the man.

She needed not her vision to hear his blocks. Rolling around and back onto her feet, she lunged at him and stabbed with uncanny precision. His injured right side was seemingly unable to move as finely as it was required of it, receiving a deep incision into muscles and organs. Lethal damage in the long run. Elsa smirked before a dark feeling enveloped her. Or, more precisely, cut off her two arms. A kick to her chin and she reeled back just for the sword to target her right leg, separating it from her body too.

Falling backwards, her right eye healed just enough to let her watch as Meili, mounted on a rock pig, stampeded through the remaining, burning walls. The black-haired man turned not as Invisible Providence squashed its brain, killing the beast and causing it to slam against the ground. Acting as if he had eyes on the back of his skull.

Elsa flexed her leftover arms towards the screaming child whose mount would be falling on top of her. “Meili!” Elsa could only watch as the same invisible force of before grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her away from danger. She blinked, confused, as her sister flew towards her and was let go behind her.

“Really last chance, assassin.” Subaru’s apathetic tone changed not as he redid his stance. Flying quills surrounded him, some stabbed into him. Blood was falling from his side, her dagger still stuck in it. “Retreat to the village in this territory, never kill again. Those are my two demands and Mother will die by my hand.”

Elsa scowled as her arms returned to her, their blood slithering them towards her. Forcing herself to stand as a wall for Meili, she barked back. “I won’t return to the cold, dear.”

“Then I will sew however many scarves you need to keep warm, gutter rat of Gusteko.” His eyes held no lies nor compassion. “But I won’t let you go on as you have.” His feet shuffled, no more chances. “The window’s yours to take, to cross. Overcome your past and see a future you could live happily thereafter, Bowel Hunter. But this dive will be your last should you take it.”

Meili glanced at her back. She no longer had any mabeasts, the mansion was burning around them and threatened to fall down at any moment. They needed to get out.

“Oh, dear, your words are too honeyed for me.” Crouching down, she coiled like a wire. A last strike. She jumped, fastest than she had ever been, with alien precision and aimed with the knowledge that, should she falter, they would both die here. Her attack was seen through. His movements, as if he had trained for this moment, sidestepped it. His invisible force hit her legs, her smaller reach unable to hurt. The sword came crashing down on her neck.

“Sister!!” Screamed Meili, her voice tainted with fear and pain.

The man frowned, as if in pain. Diverting his sword, he cut only a portion of her hair and moved to a kick to her chest, pushing her away but not kick enough to stop her counterattack. Daggers carved his right leg, cutting ligaments and stopping movement. As she flew away she repeated the process in his right arm, neutering his weapon. Rolling onto the ground, his weak kick did little to bring her harm and she was able to jump into her feet.

The man, on the other hand, fell to his knees. His right hand, still on his weapon, was trembling out of sheer received damage. He would not raise that arm. Yet he looked up at her, his eyes as confident and indifferent as before he had lost this small exchange. “Told you, it would be your last dive.” Enigmatic words came to her even as she twirled the blades in her hands, red from his blood.

“...the Archbishop of Pride will keep his word, right, dear?” Elsa did not gaze backwards to Meili.

“It is Providence that the Archbishop of Lust will fail to remain.” The sound of his blood dropping onto the floor was shadowed by the loudening mayhem of fire. Ashes and cinders rained around him, reflecting their cruel light onto his eyes. “No word is needed.”

“...and the agreement is only that we refrain from taking any jobs and only kill in self-defense?”

Another nod. “Do know that I will know if you think about breaking it. Your ending will come without knowing what you did wrong should you not follow it.”

Elsa shivered. Those should have been maddened words out of blood loss and delirium. They were not, now she knew. She gazed at the needles and quills flying around him. “The village next to this mansion, then?” To die today or later, the choice was obvious.

He nodded. “I will know the house you will choose, experiment of Holosseo Featherrun.”

Another shudder. Now she glanced backwards to Meili. A gesture of her chin and both left, unwilling to look at the dying man speaking with as much confidence as a king. Subaru sighed, fully dropping onto the hot floor. ‘Philosophy came yet I don’t think I chose well. My conclusion feels weak. Still, what right does a killer have to sentence another to death while they themselves will live on? What right do I have to make another child sad knowing I could have tried to stop it?’ His eyes gazed at the two blue points rapidly leaving. Blinking strongly, he focused on his Authority. The points were burnt and their colour switched to black.

‘Another focus to keep my attention away.’ Subaru’s hands went against the ever hotter floor. In a cloud of smoke the black-haired man, the Archbishop of Pride, rose to his feet. He walked when others would have passed out. He breathed burning air, knowing the clock was ever ticked nor would wait for him. He advanced on obscured hallways, his body knowing the way by heart and effort.

Amidst burning walls and falling ceilings, in a wildfire of his own making, the Archbishop of Pride saw reality not. His sight was sorely focused on the blue points on his blue, empty map. ‘Petra, Otto and miss Frederica are safe. Meili and Elsa managed to retreat. Miss Ram, miss Rem, sir Garfiel and the clown are still alive. Emilia-tan…still on the trial.’ That they were not marked mattered not. Subaru would always know where and who they were. Wasn’t that his greed? To take in their pain, the wrongs done to them? To offer nothing but the pleasures and happiness they deserved? His Authority agreed and so his Providence will be done. Still, one remained. One that should not be in danger.

Subaru tore a piece of his shirt and breathed through it, his miasma not enough to protect him as he dived into the third phase. One that would burn alone should he do nothing. He sped up, pushing through pain. One that was all alone thanks to him. A ceiling collapsed on him and Invisible Providence pushed it away. The nearby walls joined in, flaming wooden beams slamming against the floors. The fire roared, hungry for more fuel. The mansion groaned as it faced death row, begging the Archbishop of Pride for help. To reset and save it. 

He cared not as he arrived at a particular wall that had been repaired twice. In front, a normal, dying door. Subaru didn’t breathe in to gather his courage, that action having been lethal once before. His hand was scalded and carved by the red-hot handle. He pushed open the door.

One that he could not save before. One that he failed. One still trapped.

He entered the Forbidden Library to face Beatrice.

……

Chapter Text

(C̅X̅X̅MMMCCCLXXVI)

Beatrice sat on her stool as always, head between her legs, silent. Her eyes did not move up as the door to her Library opened, ushering a wave of burning air, toxic smoke and the sounds of a dying building. It closed right away, hiding the approaching ending behind a shabby, weak barrier.

“Sorry for that, Beako. Couldn’t do more. I was too slow to stop all that smoke from coming inside.” Plick, his blood rhythmically fell onto the ground. His unhealthy gait revealed a grievously wounded leg that was unable to be trusted with weight. His unsteady, spasming hands, on bookshelves, throwing whatever book had failed their dexterity saving throw to the ashen floor. His body, one which should be giving up, managed to reach the stool next to her. As he sat on it he splashed a bit of blood onto the ground. 

The building groaned again, dust and ashes falling from the ceiling. She heard him scratch his head, uncaring from his current state. His gate was broken too, never to be used again. “You were right, you know? I looked worried because I did not know what you would ask. I feared the effect my answers would have on you…and on me. I…did not have a script for it and so I panicked and lied to you. Sorry, Beako.”

She stilled her breathing.

“Beatrice is seriously a Goddess. That’s the meaning of B.M.M.” He huffed a pained, wet breath. “I thought it would disgust you to know I named one of my two spells for you, Beako. After all, I had made it to use it together with you until…the ghosts and fears of my past turned true, I guess. Until I failed your ghost. So, yeah, that’s why I didn’t answer that one either.”

She shuffled on her stool.

He crossed his good leg under his bad one. “Now why I never sleep on a bed is a bit trickier as I can’t really say certain things. My last…experience on a bed was…a heaven-sent, let’s say. As if it was a dream, an undeserved wish, an illusion that could shatter whenever I looked away so…I never dare to return to it.” He chuckled at his own answer. “What an infantile fear, isn’t it? To think that such a small, everyday thing such as sleeping could destroy this reality…Yet, even I have my night terrors. I can’t help but have my superstitions, no matter how long it has been or I have lived. I am plagued by ghosts, as you said.”

She raised her head. What met her was raining ashes and embers, yellow tainted walls and a growing red ceiling.

He coughed, blood further tainting his hand. “Now, why am I always tapping around, was it? Well, I am counting the time. It is a nervous tick of mine. I feel like I always have to know how many seconds have passed since I have awoken. It is…useful most of the time. I have never let it go even when I made my watch. Redundancy is reliability, after all.”

“Why?” Her voice, unused by long days, was a cracked whisper.

Subaru tilted his head. “Why what, Beako?”

“Why are you telling me all of this now? You do not trust me.”

“I…I want to start trying, Beako.” She got a soft whisper back. Apathetic, toneless. Yet burningly warm. Weak. Alive. The water below the frozen surface that covered the almost dry lake of his feelings, filled with honesty.

Beatrice finally turned to the man, tearstreaks evident in her face. “Why, in fact?! You are not that person! It never existed! You told me as such!”

“No, I am not and, even if it did exist, I could never be Them. They have centuries of hopes and expectations on them. They are a legend in shining armour, a breathtaking promise, a bright future, a happy fairytale. All the things I can never be.” He smiled sadly. “I am just Natsuki Subaru. The one who failed you.”

“...you could have just said that you were Them and I would have followed!”

“And I said I did not want to lie to you, Beako. Not like that. Neither do I want to try to now. I am just me. A failure. A weak, mean-spirit person. Mortal, short-lived. But, despite all of my sins, I want to recover our bond, to fix what I broke.”

“Lies! Lies, lies, lies!! You have always lied to Betty, in fact!” She roared, the fire around answering her call and joining in with its fury.

Subaru looked away, ashamed. “Indeed, Beako. Could I ask of you to forgive me for that? I want to stop the lies, the cowardice.” His gaze returned to her, his black eyes like the great void above, the light in them a constellation made of a lone, singular star. And one that was solely hers. He had only ever seen her amidst a sea of past ghosts and regrets. She was his deepest wish, his biggest ghost, his most wounding regret. “Could you grant me that even if I can’t promise to change for good?”

“I…I…” Beatrice looked away. “I knew there was always something wrong about you, I suppose. You were like the leasts, in fact. You never looked at Betty for her power, for her knowledge. I…know the earnest gaze you wield only wants to save my life, as naive as it is.” She looked down at the widening pool of blood below. “Do…do you still want to? Despite everything I have done and not done to or for you, I suppose?”

Subaru nodded, struggling to breathe enough air. His face, pale, bloodied, sunk. His eyes, steel.

“If so…” Her tone grew evil, putting an ultimatum that she thought he would never accept. “Then put Betty above all else!” Her pained, greedy voice overpowered the fire. “Think first of Betty. Choose Betty over everything. And thus, overwrite the fake Contract that Mother forced on me! Paint it over and erase it from existence. Replace her lies with truths and take Betty from here. Lead me by the hand. Embrace what I am!”

Subaru nodded.

Beatrice’s speech came to a halt. She stammered. “Wh…what?”

“Beako, if that is what you need, what you want, what will make you happy, I will gladly discard my Providence. I will abandon everyone and everything for you in this new restart of mine. Even my convictions.” His gaze, confident, held no lie. “I will follow your words, I will sing your tune, I will do whatever to get you out of here. Out of your self condemnation to solitude.”

Beatrice backed on her stool. A but was incoming. Her wish was…

“And I accept.” Subaru closed his eyes, a self-hating smile plastered on his face. “But that is not what you really want, is it?” When he opened them the constellation was wet. “You really do not need me, Beako. You never did. Natsuki Subaru is just that, a they, not the They. And, no matter that fact or its dubious existence, you were always perfectly capable of saving yourself. Your solitude, your prison, I can empathise and, because I can, I know you only ever needed someone, somewhat. The tiniest flame of hope to prove you were wrong. A hand that could show you another choice, another alternative. Mine just happens to be here right now but I am no hero, no chosen one.”

“Ah…” He…he agreed? And yet he thinks her greatest wish wasn’t enough for her?

“So, I beg of you, Beako. Please, save yourself.” He extended his hand. The ashes and cinders’ rain grew stronger. Burning wood fell from the ceiling and lit the bookshelves, the invaluable books. Uncountable knowledge was being lost and neither of them cared. “I know it feels worthless. I know your eternity will make my, our, existence a nanosecond in your eyes. But it could be our nanosecond, painted in the colours we pick and enjoy. Let there be a tomorrow for us where we can hold hands, where I can take you out for a second spin, where we can enjoy whatever days we get to live together. Let us create you a painting that you can hang in your memories for the rest of time.”

Her gaze went to his reddened hand, the dance of the flames around reflected on the fresh blood. A contract that would be made on his deathbed.

“It will not last an eternity, it may not even reach a century, but we will make memories. And memories can last, Beako. B.M.M. did, right? Choose to live. Choose yourself. Choose a future instead of a burning tomb!” The ceiling cracked just as his voice did, his body dying. “There’s no That person, there has never been! But there’s a Natsuki Subaru, there’s an Emilia, a Ram, a Rem, an imperfect, real world outside filled with thousands, millions of things that can be learnt and seen! Of questions to be uttered and answered! An eternity of memories, an uncharted future is before you! We are here, with you, begging to be let in!”

Smoke shrouded them, almost disappearing the hand in front of her. Panic ramped up on her. “Why do you care that much, in fact?!” Her hope, threatening to go a…

His voice pierced through the inferno’s laughter. “Because I want to! I want you to live, I want our conversations to go on, I want to make more memories with you and replace my ghosts with them. I want to finally get to know you, your tastes, your likes, your ideas. I only know your favourite colour and I hate that I only know that of you! I want to live with you, to be in your company. I want you to save yourself! This is my greed!”

“I…I…!” The ceiling groaned, finally coming undone.

“And should I get a say your memories will never vanish! The colour won’t ever fade to sepia! Happiness will not rot to melancholy! We can carve a river of good times that could be forever flowing out of the mountain of eternity if we believe in a future for us, however small it may prove to be!” The shroud seemed to be vanquished by those determined words. Behind the smoke, a burnt corpse that felt so alive. A person that, despite having surrendered once, had gotten up after seeing hers. A man that had taken a look at her future and had cried out ‘Unfair!’, refusing even her self-defeating will. Subaru, the one that had not given up on her happy ending even after she did. “And we both know something! I finally realised what changed within you long ago! You are still sitting in front of the door! You want someone, even me, to take you outside! That’s why you are always sitting opposite the door! Choose me, Beako! Choose your future, not your past! Save us, me, from this self-fulfilling prophecy! Change the future, become your own Providence! Shatter your own chains!”

The ceiling cracked. The mansion died. 

…

Otto counted the seconds from Sanctuary’s border. “Come on, knight Natsuki, you can’t be bested by a mere fire…” The thunder of the enormous building paled him. He dared not to blink in regret. Frederica behind hugged a crying Petra. Patrasche gazed intently, never losing a second of the smoking dead end.

A pillar of white light revealed their fears as fake, shouting this, her, Providence to the heavens above. A new beginning leaving behind a rotted, destroyed, burning jail. The flight of a freed bird that had forgotten how the sky tasted like. The snow after the wildfire.

It soon turned to the east, announcing its destination and the start of the last battle of the day. Its will to grasp a future that was hers to tame, to see, to enjoy. 

Otto sighed in relief as Petra cheered in joy. “So you can keep your word, Natsuki-san.”

…

“Subaru!”

“Yes.”

“Subaru, Subaru!”

“I’m real, Beako, not a ghost, not a hope, not an illusion.”

“Subaru, Subaru, Subaru!”

“And you are real too. Finally, I finally got you out.” He returned her desperate hug, his vision blurry and reddening. He was dying so…why was he not feeling the chill of every time? Why, even though he had stopped breathing properly, was he feeling so unburdened? Where was the instinctive fear of the end? The loneliness?

Magic flowed through him. His lips moved to a tiny smirk. His bluest ghost had died. In its place, a kind spirit named Beatrice was alive and well. Maybe he was not that slothful, after all.

…

Ram, her body pained all over, found herself in the back of her sister. Memories coming back, she blinked the tiredness away and looked to her right. There, a tied up and gagged Roswaal was being carried like a sack of tatoes by a grimacing Garfiel. Alive. They were both alive. She smiled happily, her long wished for reality, realised. A pang in her chest made her gaze around, not seeing the second madman consumed by his own Gospel.

“Sister, everything is alright.” Whispered Rem, noticing her shuffling above. 

“I…I do not understand…” Muttered Roswaal for the fourth time, receiving a glare from the blue haired oni, a worried stare from the pink haired one and enlarging Garfiel’s grimace.

“And so you keep muttering, son of a bitch. But the answer’s clear as day. People change. We changed. And no, we are not killing you because Ram wants you to live.”

Rem swallowed her reply, slowing down and resettling Ram so that she could talk with more ease.

“Roswaal-sama. You do understand.” Ram sighed. “Despite how blind you are to everyone’s feelings, including your own, you have known since you met the time traveller. You knew he followed your Gospel because you wanted him to, not because the Gospel was right. It diverged long ago.” She looked up. “This snow is also yours, isn’t it? That’s why you had less mana during our fight.”

At that Roswaal chuckled. “A man throwing a tantrum in dependant obsession, was it? My circumstances are truly crooked and comedic, aren’t they?” His dead, defeated tone clung to the vainest hope. “Yet I will be proven right, the half-elf…”

“Rem, Ram! What happened?! It started to snow and…” Emilia, having rushed back by slipping on magically casted ice to the village of Sanctuary and having found no-one there, had returned to the tomb just when they had arrived. Her eyes widened in fear at seeing their state. “Are you alright?!”

Roswaal’s stare followed the panicked Emilia as she rushed towards them. “You…The time traveller…He can’t…Providence shouldn…” His body started to convulse, creeping Garfiel further as Roswaal started to cackle, his skin scratching against the ropes. His laughs resounded in the empty forest while the snow turned into the start of a blizzard.

Ram silently watched as the man roared in defeated madness until he ran out of breath. He finally stopped as his body lost strength. “Now…what do I do? What happens now? What am I suppose to do now…Teacher…please, guide me again…”

“That teacher’s no longer there, blockhead. Maybe how about you start walking on your own? You are no student.”

“Next thing could be an apology at the very least, master Roswaal.”

“Roswaal-sama…” Ram’s soft voice took hold over the man, a new beacon of light for his future plans that was doused in the fire of anger at her actions. “Please, if only for me, please stand up and face yourself.”

He shook his head. His tone, an almost unhearable whisper of surrender. “No, I quit.” A flash of desperate pain crossed Ram’s eyes.

“Don’t you dare say that!” Roared Emilia, her hands falling short of grabbing Roswaal by the collar due to his current state. “To quit, to quit on what?! There’s nothing to possibly quit on! We are alive, we are safe and we have returned to the Tomb to face the Great Rabbit! Don’t you dare give up, to surrender! Not to Ram, not to me, not to anyone! Not when there are things to do, people to save!”

Roswaal blinked, started by the fire in the once doll.

“I finished the Trials! The past I was so scared of, a happy present that could’ve happened, sad futures that might come! I saw them all! And I still decided to walk this path and with that resolve I can finally walk it!” Her howl was wrath itself. Wrath at the apparent defeat of a man that had won on every gamble, whose future ambition would, despite all, be still met. To the man throwing yet a second tantrum.

Roswaal would have backed had he not been tied up. He tried to look away. 

Emilia grabbed him by the jaw and pulled his gaze back towards herself. “Look at my face when I am talking to you! You can’t understand me nor what I am doing if you don’t look me in the eye. Keep your eyes on mine, hear my voice, stand up!”

Roswaal stiffened, the command trying to get to him.

“I will never let anyone say that they quit! As long as you are alive, there’s nothing for you to quit on! We are not letting anyone die here today!” 

“How? You can’t possibly believe that…”

“Everything has already been accounted for, master Roswaal. That time traveller you thought a tool has done all of our work.” Rem snarled. “In your words, the board is set. Our move is set. Our victory is set.”

Garfiel nodded slowly, his gaze on Emilia. “So Boss does know how to walk the talk after all, huh.” Was his mutter. So be it. He would not fall behind the sheltered princess.

Roswaal could not understand. In a week, a doll had turned into a bona fide, courageous leader. A terrified child was willing to face and shatter his past. His everloyal servant had deserted him yet left behind her vengeance. Her sister, once just a second thought, had bested his defenses and beaten him up. “How…how could you all…”

“Roswaal-sama.” Ram’s gaze had never left him. “I need to say something to you, because I believe I can’t miss this change to finally make you understand. I…”

“Sister.” Interrupted Rem in a cold tone, noticing her feelings through their synesthesia. “The Great Rabbit is coming, we should hurry up. Whatever conversations are still waiting to be talked about can be left for later.”

Ram, startled, turned to Rem. Her dearest sister, the Rem that could have, would have died today. The corner of her eyes catched a living Garfiel that should have been reduced to ashes. All by the man she loved. In her mind, Rem was a cold, unfeeling void that let no emotion pass by their connection. She did not approve and she mentally voiced her ultimatum clearly. She bit her cheeks and looked away from the man she loved. The madman that would have killed them all today had another madman not intervened. “It…can wait, yes.”

Roswaal stared as Ram moved her gaze away, mistaking her words for words of forgiveness. “...truly baffling.” His eyes looked around. To the half burnt forest embedded in his snow. To the empty houses and huts of people already saved. To how much and how exactly its writ had deviated. To a present like nothing the book had prophesied. Roswaal found himself facing an unknowable, chaotic future he would know almost nothing about except that his ambition would be met. “Really…how much time did this take you?” His whisper was but a mere movement of his lips.

The sound of falling trees far away shook them from their own thoughts. The little light the hidden full moon granted revealed an everconsuming hunger behind the tree lines. The Great Rabbit, sensing the congregation of powerful mages, was hunting towards them.

Roswaal stiffened. Out of mana, a shiver ran down his spine. Garfiel’s arms left his head, his uneasy gaze locked on the approaching horizon filled with teeth. Rem grabbed her chains until her fingers turned white. Ram stared silently, refusing to back down to even this.

Emilia stepped forward, ready to shield them with hands shrouded in ice as she waved her spells.

A column of light fell in front of the tomb, bringing a short morning to the deep night as light showered all around, reflecting on snow, ice and puddles of wet ash. The spell was banished, its mana running out.

A black-haired figure, drenched in torn clothes covered in dry blood, tugged at his broken left glove with his reddened teeth. “My most deepest condolences for the delay of an hour, seventeen minutes and fifty three seconds, Lady Emilia.” Subaru, not turning around, waved his arm, creating an army of bright yellow reflective Minyas that floated above him. “I regret that you had to wake up alone in the tomb. Another new remorse of mine will be to ask you to participate in the incoming battle of deliverance, together with sir Garfiel if able to.”

Emilia, smiling, shook her head and advanced forward, trusting in the spirit’s healing that was next to him. Garfiel’s smirk returned and he joined the new line.

Beatrice rolled her eyes. The blizzard around did nothing to hide her confident words. “Like her progress would be something able to outdo us, in fact.” Her gaze was also in the incoming mabeast. 

“How is it looking, partner?” The apathetic yet teasing voice washed over her. 

Her hand gripped his right harder. “I am moments post-Contract, the opponent is one of the Three Great Witchbeasts, we are unprepared and conditions are poor, my contractor is a novice on his seemingly second contract. Lastly, I have not participated in a battle in four centuries.”

“And the verdict?”

“I could ask for no finer handicap, I suppose.”

“It really doesn't stand a chance, huh.”

Beatrice smiled fearlessly as the cacophony of fangs against wood, snow, flesh and bone, finally came into view as a new carpet of snowy fur. “I guess I could even pity it, in fact.”

Subaru turned to the others, the corners of his lips curling up. “You heard Beako, all of you can relax.” His attention returned ahead while his Minyas darted forward, stabbing into the ground and creating a wide road for the incoming enemy. “Lady Emilia, could you cast an ice wall on the crystals? We need to funnel them. Sir Garfiel, shake the soon to be road and turn the dirt and snow into mud, if you may.”

Both magic users started their cast, creating a walled off road that was a bath of wet and slippery dirt

“Miss Rem, could you be on the watch for any slip ups just as a precaution?” Subaru waved his hand again and created four black Minyas that signaled a space in the middle of the road.

The maid nodded and, softly lowering her sister, she moved forward, magic and weapon ready.

Beatrice looked at a central spot. “So you are aiming for an Al-Shamak, I suppose?” She closed her eyes and started to cast, trusting him fully.

Subaru shook his head while watching over everyone following his instructions to the letter. Snapping his fingers, he created four new shards of Minyas in the shape of longswords. Unable to move and not willing to leave anything to change, he continuously fed the spell enormous amounts of mana and flew them forward.

Sensing four new beacons of mana, the thinkless self-devouring hivemind entered by itself into the trap. The first waves blundered on the mud, slowing down the swarm while the blades tore through their numbers. The creatures wasted no seconds in tearing into their own corpses, their numbers forever swelling to their limit. The horrendous chittering and gnashing echoed through the walls, cleanly reaching their position.

Garfiel eyed the man at his left, closer to the danger than anyone. His own fear lessened at his sight, confident and unmovable. He angrily squinted at the white bunnies in front as his Divine Protection worked overtime to slow them down. 

Emilia kept her mana flowing, making more walls and reinforcing the ones there as they were chopped down during their frenzy. Her alertness and battlereadiness, her confidence, highest it had been. She was going to give back some of the things and feelings she had always depended on and taken advantage of. She would become worthy of her position and she would start today. And she would try to accomplish the request she had been told at the end of her trials.

Roswaal stared at the time traveller, at his nemesis that had not even considered him worthy of fighting against. He had only used three lowly mages and close quarters warriors and had won. The man whose Providence had shattered Wisdom. The moron that had rejected his teacher’s offer. The madman that had won and would win again.

But the horde advanced ever forward, no matter how fast the longswords rotated. No matter that every once in a while one of them exploded, skewering every rabbit with unordinary precision, only to bring back the shards and be reformed. But the numbers never stopped their flickering, never stopped reaching for that limit of theirs.

Another wave of Subaru and an El-Minya was casted, bombarding their frontline and filling the road with craters. Not done with that, Subaru closed his fist and the craters exploded anew, blooming in crystal trees with piercing branches that stabbed through whatever was closest before crashing down again, now remaining as time-stopped shards that would remain a new nuisance for the beasts.

Next was Invisible Providence, rushing under the road and through the dirt and stones. Using his Authority as a casting point, the next spells that were casted were Shamak, shrouding the small hares and the surface of the road itself in overwhelming darkness, and Murak onto the mud and snow, creating a floating lake of heavy obstacles. On the road itself, a few icicles were always being shot, targeting climbing creatures that got too close to the top of the ice walls.

“That should be…enough?” Mussed out loud Subaru, his gaze and fingers calculating the time it would take the Witchbeast. He ignored the questioning gazes at the ancient, long lost spells he was using. “Lady Emilia, sir Garfiel, once they are in that quadrant, please, wall them all off. Miss Rem, keep your watch up, should one escape we will be forced to flee.”

The horde, no longer a carpet but more of a rolling ball of rabbits walking and devouring slowed down brethren, was steadily gaining ground despite all the Yin spells. Subaru’s cold gaze inspected their speed, a part of him itching to cast his magic again. He had not spent countless millennia perfecting it to let the perfect opportunity go to waste, it said. But he knew that their mana was preciously finite. Hundreds of years of an individual’s work did not amount to all that much, that he knew. Beatrice’s mana would last just enough, and that was alright.

The first rabbit entered the banishing zone. “Sir Garfiel, Lady Emilia, at the ready.” The second, five, twenty three, two hundred and sixty eight. The moving mass soon shadowed the marking Minyas. “Now!”

Garfiel roared due to the sheer effort.

“Al-Huma!”

The trap was sprung and the Great Rabbit was trapped in a double sphere.

“No one has been left out, Subaru-kun!”

Subaru squished Beatrice’s hands as he watched the sphere move upwards, trembling due to the angry mob inside.

“Al-Shamak.”

Space trembled, light shattered and time grounded to a halt only to restart like a broken gear. The sight in front changed as if they were looking through a broken prism while the dimensional magic did its thing. The sphere shattered and disappeared from view as if it had never been there. As if a blink had dispelled its illusion. Just a rapidly shrinking shadow that reached nothingness in this reality only to reappear elsewhere, elsewhen.

Subaru tugged at the remains of the collar of his shirt. “Another world’s problem it has become.”

“Do not fear, Subaru. I sent them to an isolated space, in fact. They will travel the Great Void Above forevermore as a harmless if mad curiosity, I suppose.”

“...wow.” Muttered Emilia, the rest too lost for words. Except one, of course.

A slow clapping was heard as Roswaal, a wicked smile on his face, snickered. “Simply a marvellous performance! Now, tell me, time traveller, how does it feel for your board to go the way you wanted? Was fully breaking your gate also a plot to stop Ram’s revenge on myself? Do you need me that much in your future plans?”

Subaru stiffened. After a few seconds he shook his head, “...we could have talked alon…”

“So that is why it broke, in fact. You fought Roswaal.” Muttered darkly Beatrice.

Ram blinked, her paleness of before returning full force. He had sacrificed hi…

“Miss Ram.” His words, confident. “I sacrificed my gate willingly to save your life. It was my choice, not anyone’s else. And a choice I would always take, no matter how many times.” His apathetic gaze returned to Roswaal. “And you are wrong there, clown. This board may have been mine but the pieces moved themselves. If anything, it was this king’s turn to be moved by another’s hands.” He turned not to Beatrice as he gave her hand another squish but he did nod at Garfiel. “Their help had not been accounted for at the beginning. I had to change both rules and the game thereafter.”

“So Boss’ original plan was to beat this son of a bitch alone?” Garfiel laughed heartily, missing Subaru’s tiniest flinch at his new moniker. “Can’t say I can’t see it happening.”

Ram, out of words, simply looked at him, utterly confused.

Rem frowned. “So it was you who took our wounds?”

A resolute nod. “That was my Greed, yes.” Now he turned towards Beatrice. “Now, I believe the rest of our conversation can wait after the one who checkmated today’s foe says her deserved words.”

Beatrice puffed out her chest, hands on her waist. “No congratulatory speech is needed, in fact. This foe was wholly below my strength and was a mere warm up for my return to the world’s stage, I suppose.”

“Hear, hear.” Subaru couldn’t hold in a small, toneless snicker, generating a new wave of confused stares at his liveness.

…

Watching as both Roswaal and Beatrice entered the Tomb while Garfiel and Emilia went to talk with the villagers, Subaru allowed himself to blink. His vision turned blurry and his weakened body would have fallen had Rem not catched him up. Used to treating wounds, she noticed his wounded side.

“Subaru-kun…” Not allowing herself to breathe as his stench was too overpowering, Rem looked away. “...thank you, truly. You…”

“You saved yourselves, I just nudged you along the way.” His unfeeling hand patted her shoulder by mistake in its convulsions. “Good job beating that clown.” His eyes looked over her, reassuring himself of her lack of wounds. “I will want to hear all about it.”

Rem nodded excitedly, exalted to indulge that request. Her energy died as Ram approached unsteady, her defeated look evident to all. “Ba…no, Sub…”

“Ram-chi.” His forceful tone silenced her coming speech. “I meant what I said. I am still here, I came back and I said I would respect your choice, whichever and whatever it was, fully. It has not changed.”

“But why go this far!?” Her hands clenched at her side, Ram lost her composure. “You gained nothing by fulfilling my selfish desire!! No, you even lost the right to magic!”

“...this coming from the oni who lost her horn to save her sister is surprising.” His words and body language revealed that he was utterly confused by her question. “A mere, undeveloped gate is a measly, cheap price to save your life, Ram-chi.”

Both sisters fell silent.

Subaru rolled his eyes. His voice gained a fake exasperation. “Really, I can’t fulfill my purpose, or Gospel if you may, if you die somewhen. You will die having lived a happy life, I told you such a thing already, didn’t I?”

Ram mouth opened wide. “I…what…who…how…?”

“What you heard. I am the Archbishop representing Pride, Natsuki Subaru.” The confident answer came. His stable tone, truthful, his small, fake smirk, teasing. “And I just put a barrier around you, Ram-chi, not that hard to understand.”

At that Ram could but cackle in laughter, mirroring Roswaal’s. Wiping her tears, her face flushed, she shook her head, “I had forgotten there really was no stop to your Pride, Barusu. A fitting title for you, I may add.” Her gaze locked with his. A small, thankful nod. Rem sighed. This dumb joke was going to get them executed at least. “I will never forget this debt, knight Subaru.”

“What debt? I did what I wanted, miss Ram. For myself to live without you I won’t ever allow. No matter the price to my persona, you will live happily. You will have your perfect ending.” Unable to offer any strong gesture, he charged his words with intent, the apathetic tone of before melting away for a small while into a warm but confident tone.

Rem blinked quickly a few times at that statement, not really believing she had heard right. After a few seconds reality set in. She glanced at her sister only to find her wordless, her entertained red shade of before now bashful and awkward as she looked away. A plan started to concoct in her mind.

Ram coughed a bit, her will quickly recovering her wits. “And I also said that I will burn your Gospel too, Barusu.”

“Do I have to repeat myself this once too?” Subaru tilted his head, a rebellious fire in his gaze.

Ram smirked at the challenge. Roswaal had needed an explosive finale, the madman in front would need steady work to grind down his walls. Her old work had ended and yet it had started anew. Not that she minded, her debt to the man in front was too big to ever pay back. Od below, maybe it would even prove to be enjoyable to break his delusions. At the very least he was no danger, just Barusu.

…

A transparent coffin housing the body of the Witch of Greed was in front of her. A storm of emotions, Beatrice couldn’t but utter a small mutter, “Mother…” The body uncaringly ignored the dozens of questions in her gaze. Feeling almost underwhelming over her emotions, her vigil stood still. Memories overlapped themselves onto the sight in front, the body exactly as she remembered her.

“You lied to Betty, in fact.” The four centuries long awaited reunion started with an accusation. Even if the request had been made to save her life, she had added a clause to the contract that could never be fulfilled together with a cursed Gospel that told her not the future. She had lost both yet she couldn’t bring herself to care. “There never was a That person nor did you think your collection to be of any worth, I suppose.” She breathed in. “And I won’t apologise for losing any of it all.”

An astonished Roswaal at the other side of the coffin looked at Beatrice as if seeing an anomaly that should not exist. “What…what are you saying, Beatrice?”

The great spirit looked up not to the man. “Roswaal…L. was it? I am also surprised at both happenstances. The second is your lack of cosmetics violating the instructions from your predecessor, I suppose.”

“The cosmetics do not matter!” Roswaal’s right arm gestured in frenzy to her left. “How can you…”

“Blame my own mother for her own mistakes, in fact?” She raised her eyes to meet the clown’s. “And who are you to question my decisions or wills, descendant of the Mathers? You are wholly uninvolved in them as your family’s obsession with mother has no personal weight on myself, I suppose.” A dangerous glint sprung up, rekindling her fury of this past week and the new one of today. The mage in front had tried to kill them all, it seemed.

Roswaal frowned, his body backing a step. “...so, tell me, was that man the one who told you that That person did not exist?”

Beatrice shook her head. “Subaru made me confront the truth I had been running away from long enough. He even refused me when I begged him to become Them, in fact. He claimed that, despite believing himself worse than Them, I should still choose him over a fairytale, I suppose.” Her gaze moved from the casket to the wall, the memories as fresh as when it had happened. “He braved hell and asked me to grab his hand. He saw me for what I was, mistakes, failings and obsession, and he accepted me still. He saw my deepest wish and bellowed that it was not enough for me, in fact.” Her gaze returned to him.

“And I will thank you, human, a minuscule bit, for bringing him to me.” She laughed a bit. “Not that he would enjoy hearing these congratulations directed at you, I suppose.”

“How can you just…”

Her cold tone cut him off. “There will be no devotion from my part to Mother anymore. I thank her for all that she did, for our memories together. But I also blame her for her failings, lies and mistakes, in fact. I will wipe the slate clean and move forward.” She turned around, leaving her past at her back. “I have found a person that will prioritise me and to whom, in turn, I shall do the same. I found my him, not her Them. And that is my wish, I suppose. May you face your once wanted hopes too, heir of the Mathers, but I shall take no part in your delusions."

Roswaal’s breath hitched as Beatrice moved away. “That’s…a mere him can not overpower Teacher’s chosen one!”

“That is what he stated verbatim, in fact.” She turned halfway towards him, her gaze, lost away, soft. “And I still chose him to be my number one and he accepted.” She lightly shook her head. “Goodbye, Mother.” And the Great Spirit left a hopeless and sepia mage behind, her small steps echoing towards a new tomorrow of her choosing.

He watched as the Great Spirit he had abandoned to her death surpassed her dead end. His gaze lowered to the casket below. His lips moved to a smirk. Again and again, he had been proven wrong, he had been hammered with that fact and beaten with it. “We really never spoke nearly enough, did we, Beatrice?” Two individuals who had walked the path and he had never tried to understand her not once.

Beatrice stopped just before crossing the door, “What do you mean by that, in fact?”

“That I am Roswaal. The original Roswaal.” His cold gaze moved to her, hidden emotion behind it. “I perfected ‘soul transcription’ and used them on my own family to remain through these centuries. And I don’t regret anything I have ever done.”

Beatrice didn’t turn back nor stared at him, just waiting in silence for a few seconds. “I see, in fact.”

“...” Roswaal, tired of waiting, shuffled. “That’s your reaction to our reunion?”

“You shall not find that judgement and punishment you seem to desperately crave from Betty, I suppose.” She restarted her walk towards the exit. “Yet it may be findable outside the tomb. For what it's worth, welcome back, Roswaal. Nonetheless, my previous declaration shall also apply to you. Step carefully from now on, mage of Lugunica, I won’t forgive a third tantrum, in fact.”

And like that the Great Spirit left the past that was over behind. And, with it, the maniacal and passionate odd-colored eyes from the student of the witch. And, with it, the Witch who had carved an enormous scar of a contract on her contractor.

…….

Chapter Text

(C̅X̅X̅MMMCCCLXXVI)

A body was sent flying at unseen speeds through the air. Its maiden voyage was short-lived as Roswaal slammed into a tree, carving his shape into it and breaking several of his ribs. The tree groaned, dropping snow and dying leaves from its crown, tilting backwards slightly.

Amidst ten horrified glares a jubilant Rem rolled her right shoulder, a bright smile on her face while her horn stopped shining. Her right hand, its knuckles bleeding a bit, was shaken as she walked away from the clown with enormous vitality and joy in her stride. Refreshed, Rem moved some of her hair out of her face and curtsied at her audience. “This was an excellent idea. Thank you for letting Rem go first.”

Ram, grimacing, looked at Roswaal, who was now in dire need of treatment, again, and then at Emilia right next to him. Garfiel shuddered a bit, a bit of pity ruining his intent. “My turn can wait, me thinks.” He looked away from the man, trying to focus on him almost killing him to murder any compassion he had for the mage at this moment.

“Then, if I may be so forward.” Frederica surprised the rest by moving first. “Brace yourself, Master.” A very kind person, she aimed her punch at the opposite cheek that Rem had hit. The tree trembled again, the grievous wound turning lethal. The clown was embedded further into the rough wood. Ram moved forwards and helped him out of the trunk as to not have the tree collapse on him.

Clapping once, Frederica’s bright smile as she moved away mirrored the morning sun. Petra, the next in turn, had grabbed a nearby rotting stick.

His missing make-up was substituted by the dying remains of plant-matter, carcasses of insects, dirty ashes and melting snow. Her frown and ire, not satiated, were, nonetheless, pushed aside as she backed for the next one’s turn.

Otto’s punch struck the same place as Frederica, not having the heart to aim at Rem’s retribution. Both earth dragons looked intently at Otto. Shaking his head, he hit Roswaal again in their stead.

Beatrice, not caring that much at the show, looked up at Subaru but did not let go of his right hand. “Your turn, I suppose.”

Nodding, Subaru rolled his left shoulder and both approached the beaten up clown. Not feeling any pressure from the audience, he did not gaze at the observing Ram as he walked to half a metre from the clown. “You know, Ros-chi. I was dying to do this.” His voice, apathetic, revealed nothing as his toneless words were, nonetheless, carried across the clearing resulting from their battle against the Great Rabbit. “But I mistook this entertainment’s meaning.” On his right hand, one of his pens. “Take it, Ros-chi.”

Roswaal blinked blackened eyes as he looked down at the tool he had jokingly requested once.

“My closure for your actions. Write yourself your own Book of Wisdom. Write your own life.” As the clown looked up he felt the madman in front slam the pen in his hand. “And, maybe, somewhere, somewhen along the way, start living it too. I am not punishing you as I feel you did no wrong to me, only to them. They will choose their own punishments for your actions.” His gaze flickered to Ram. “That’s their right.” 

And, like that, Subaru turned around and opened the space for Garfiel.

Now he rolled his right shoulder. “That’s Boss for ya, carrot and stick, was it?” He no longer felt any guilt for slamming Roswaal against the tree. The poor innocent plant finally toppled backwards.

…

“Now that we are done with that necessary pause, I believe we should continue our previous talk of before.” Subaru’s confident yet apathetic voice carried itself with regal appearance and character, consuming the inside of the mansion where all members of the Emilia camp, together with Garfiel, Otto and Ryuzu, were located. The steps of his walk, back and forth, echoed in an almost majestical way, if sentiment slightly lessened by the Great Spirit sitting on his shoulders as she had been unable to match up his pacing. Patrasche’s tail waved slightly from side to side while in her lying position, proud of her owner.

“Ros-chi schemes have been revealed and we are left with several…let’s call them miscalculations. Arlam Village, once the villagers here return, will be facing a housing shortage. Sir Garfiel should be able to help with improvised stone houses but some stewardship will be needed for a long term solution. Thankfully, Roswaal’s domain is now my domain.”

Roswaal shuffled a bit on his seat.

“Call me your regent then, clown, substitute, helper or even jester but you suck at managing it. I will be taking over your administrative burden together with sir Otto. And you should be glad.”

Roswaal frowned. Wait…The time traveler was willing to do all of his work? The mage started to smile. He could live with having more free time for his mission. On the other hand, Otto shuffled on his seat this time.

“Sir Otto, you should know that the Mathers’ domain is currently devoid of any liquidity to pay for your expenses until two months later counting from today. A mighty buyout of firestones emptied most of its coffers. Thankfully, new mines will be discovered and new ores extracted.”

“And whose fault is that…” Mumbled Otto, now connecting the dots of why their contract had said to be paid across three months. “And…wait, what do you mean I am going to help?! I am a merchant, not a…!”

“Why complain about a promotion, Minister of Internal Affairs of the future Queen of Lugunica?” Subaru’s tone granted his words no clue of it being a quip. “Jokes aside, your help is only required to obtain Conversation Mirrors. My apologies for the delay of your payment.” His steps, never silent, sped up as his brain did. “Now that that has been solved…”

“It hasn’t!”

Ram and Rem shook their heads in unison. “A pitiful merchant indeed, Rem. He has been scammed again.”

“He really should have known better and listened to his previous experiences, sister.”

“Subaru…that wasn’t very nice. You shouldn’t scam people.”

Otto pulled his hair as he growled unintelligible words.

“...Now that that has been solved, now it remains the second consequence. Roswaal’s manor burnt down.”  Beatrice shuffled on his shoulders, searching for a more comfortable position and caring not for the loss of that building nor looking the tiniest bit repentant.

“It has what?!” A few voices were mixed in that question. 

“And wait, are we really skipping over that son of a bitch?!” Garfiel joined in the roars and overpowered them. “What if he tries to harm us all again?!”

“It won’t happen again.” Muttered Roswaal. “I will never strive to achieve anything by so arrogantly making sacrifices of the people here ever again. I swear it on the soul of my mentor.” 

Subaru turned a dry glare at the mage. “Not like you could, you made a soul-binding vow that makes you literally unable to.”

Roswaal looked away as placidly as before, his usual fake tone back in place. “My statement is still genuine despite that very funny coincidence.”

Subaru rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to bite back before Ram slammed her hands onto the floor. “So you really did make a vow with Roswaal-sama that day, Barusu?! Why?! You put your soul, your powers, on the line! You bet yourself on us!”

Subaru shrugged. “That was the only way to advance forward, miss Ram.” His apathetic expression livened up a tiny bit. “And he proved me right at that point as he had started to deviate from the gospel that far ago, I believe.”

Roswaal shuffled again, now uncomfortable. “...so you can loop that far back, huh.”

“You are horrendously wrong there, clown. My checkpoints are fixed and I can only return to the latest one.” Roswaal paled as he turned to the man. He must be lying, it couldn’t…An unreliable ability like that…?

“So that’s why you couldn’t loop certain conversations?” Muttered Ram…Wait, then, were those deviations why he had been angered at her not being allowed to help him with the kids? Had he not known, not looped that either? Had the save point changed right after their conversation, after his request for help? Ram paled, starting to connect the dots on his strange combat ability. Emilia stayed quiet, having been advised to not pry into his Authority.

Rem frowned. Wait…was that why his stench varied so much? He had revealed to the knights that it was dependent on the enemies around and…if he did time travel to fight them, the words would not be a lie. Her investigatory gaze went to the man. Now she knew something extra.

Subaru gave Ram a thumbs up, unable to nod. “Exactly. I can’t go into clearer details but I am more of a passive user or a victim, if you will, than anything else. I can’t tell whenever a point gets saved, changes or to what time I will return. The only method is trial and error.”

“...then why do you not try to right now, time traveler? Prove your point.” Roswaal’s glare held real fear behind.

“You missed the ‘I can’t go into clearer details’? To reveal how I loop is against the rules and a punishment will follow, be me or you who reveal its inner workings.” His gaze grew colder. “Nor does the punishment limit itself to only myself.”

“What rules?!” Roswaal got off his seat. “No Divine Protection nor Witch Authority works like that!” Uncaring for the glares around he advanced a step. “How could you do all of this by just…mere luck, mere convenience, by merely retrying from a non-perfect point!?” His arms flailed around, as if able to shake this reality away.

“As I said, clown, by trial and error.” His apathetic tone wavered not.

Roswaal’s legs weakened upon his firm glare and he fell back on his seat. “You…you are mad.” If what he was saying was true…Who…what was in front of himself right now? A human could not surely… “...How long did it take you to beat me?”

Subaru looked away from the slightly scared clown. “Getting back on track…”

“No getting back on track!” Garfiel returned again. “This only makes it worse. This son of a bitch would have killed all of us, all of the villagers, had Boss not had steel nerves! He bet all of our lives for a book he had stopped to follow! What’s to say he will not just pay someone again to cut our throats while we sleep, again?!”

Subaru nodded at Garfiel. “Those are worries I can’t fully dispel, sir Garfiel. But the real point here is that we need the Head Court Mage Roswaal L. Mathers, his backing and his support to win the royal selection.” He joylessly smiled. “Politics is a rotten thing so we need to pick our poisons. This one is, at least, mostly neutered.”

“You are telling me to forgive the guy who tried to kill my family?!”

“I would never tell you that, sir Garfiel. I am telling you to use them to make your family happier. Your hands have in them a new card, a new ally. The lord of this domain will help and protect us by soul binding. He can’t do otherwise. You have a chance to strive for a better life. The only thing you have to do is to simply remember the bastard as a bastard but not to act through retribution.”

Frederica frowned. “I, for one, forgive the master.” Silence reigned again. “He…cared for me for a decade and we seem to have both used each other for our goals. Would our debts then not be even? And Knight Subaru is right. He can’t go against their contract.”

“I would advise to calm down too, Garfiel. They are right. Lord Roswaal can’t act against us.” Interjected Otto, his small breakdown over.

“Well, I’m still against it no matter what any of you, Otto, miss Frederica or Subaru-sama say!” Petra was the next one to join in the discussion. “The Master tried… Our Lord tried to do something terrible to all of us, to both villages, right? Even though everyone trusted him. Even though we thought our Lord was a good person…!” 

Subaru sighed. ‘Shove the matter aside, kick away the philosophy. Plan towards solutions.’ A light shook of his head and he dispelled that personal grievance against the current discussion. “While your point is, again, valid, miss Petra, what are we going to do? Accuse Roswaal of treason?” The camp fell silent. “Dispose of him here? And then what? What new lord will be put in these lands? What new backers will we have? Will we not be investigated, will our word win against Roswaal even? He is a noble, we are not.”

His gaze looked over all of them. “I can promise you that I will secure a bright future for both villages. That everyone living in his domain won’t be affected by the clown’s actions, that miss Frederica’s wish will be met. And, should you have any request, I shall do my utmost to achieve them. But I can’t grant deathly judgement upon Lord Roswaal nor allow anyone here to do so. Such a thing will doom all.”

Garfiel growled but backed down, knowing Subaru would keep his word. Petra looked away, smart enough to know that this was the best case despite the mage’s betrayals and tricks. And to reveal it to the others…Petra shuddered. They would have a rebellion in their hands.

Waiting for the silence to be cemented, Subaru sighed and restarted. “As things are, we shall move towards the main mansion of Roswaal’s as the current one is…undisposed. The rest is boring statecraft talk that can wait. Anyone has anything more to interject this meeting with?”

Emilia raised her hand in silence.

Subaru frowned. “Lady Emilia, you need not to ask for permission. You are the leader of this meeting.”

“Then I will indulge in my privileged position.” Getting off her chair, she turned to Roswaal. “Roswaal has yet to do the most important thing and this discussion is not over until he does.”

Subaru frowned, not knowing what to expect.

Emilia looked over the group. “When you do something bad you have to be sorry about it. Isn’t there something he has to say? Because he has not.” Her anger ramped up, cheeks red and voice louder, as everyone turned to her confused. 

Subaru skipped a step, grounding to a halt. Beatrice had to grab onto him at the sudden stop. He opened his mouth but no sound left it.

“I…” Roswaal swallowed, not really believing the situation. That courageous leader of before was still ways off. “I am sorry.”

Emilia nodded, now happy. “Mhm, that will do.”

…

Subaru stood as the carriage was loaded. Having been banned from helping with loading it, his gaze was on the tomb. A dead construct of a building with the corpse of the person he had spent millions of years together with. The towering construct that had fed his everpresent nightmares, now just…mere, normal stone and dark corners. Subaru crossed his arms, his stony face never changing as nostalgia invaded his thoughts.

“You are not going to enter, I suppose?”

Subaru shook his head. “It would be mere self-serving sentimentality. There were almost all bad memories. Nor would I meet anything but a corpse. No past there of any worth to explore.” His hand, still trapped since yesterday night, squished Beatrice’s. “And you?”

“I have made my peace with Mother, in fact.” Her face, as emotionless as his. “I will explore that future you have so high expectatives of, I suppose.” Her gaze moved to him. “And speaking about the future, I have quite a few things to inform you about.”

Subaru frowned and looked down. “Which are?”

She shuffled a bit, strengthening her grip on his hand. “As I believe you already know, Betty is an artificial spirit,” Subaru nodded. “, and our contract will have a few particularities, in fact.” Her tone grew ashamed. “Flaws, if you will. First of all, as long as you are contracted with Betty you may not contract any other spirits apart from myself, I suppose.”

“Gotcha. The rest?” His gaze looked not bothered by that small fact.

Beatrice relaxed visibly. “The second is…my higher mana consumption.”

Subaru frowned. “And I suppose we blew up most…” Beatrice’s gaze flickered. “...all of your stockpile in that fight.”

A nod. “...nor do I produce any mana so your supply is the only means of replenishing it as I can only collect it from people, in fact. I will also refrain from collecting it from the others from now on too, as it is not proper, I suppose.”

“So for now we are mostly magicless?”

Beatrice shook her head. “Your progress will help us a lot should you teach me your ways with rationalising mana, in fact. But…overall, that’s not a…wrong assessment, I suppose.”

Subaru shrugged. “I went most of my life without casting magic, I won’t start pouting now.”

Beatrice tensed up a bit. “The…last thing is concerning that very point…”

“My broken gate, right? I will only be able to use magic through you, yes?”

“That’s correct but not the whole picture…”

Subaru’s frown returned, his mind thinking about his circumstances. “I guess now that I can’t spend any mana naturally it will accumulate? I see…”

“Betty will syphon it so nothing wrong will come to pass.” The spirit quickly interjected. “But that…”

“We will need to simply not separate then.”

Beatrice’s speech stopped. “You…you are right, in fact!” Struggling to contain her smile, she seemed to grow bigger. “This great spirit will grace you with her presence so you better be grateful.”

“Always, Beako.”

Beatrice looked away, the honesty in his words making her boast awkward.

As they were conversing a cowering Otto was shaking his head behind them. “Miss Rem, with all due respect, I would rather jump off the carriage as it travels than have to spend the entire journey sitting next to…”

Rem’s smile darkened. “Oh, is that so, sir Otto?”

“You…you are joking, right?”

Rem tilted her head just a bit. “But wasn’t it you who was fine with jumping off the carriage, sir Otto? I am sure Lord Roswaal could manage to guide us so there would be no real problem, would there? This Rem here is more than willing to accommodate your request should you need to be thrown out.”

Otto blinked a few times. His faked smile trembled as his hands gripped his hat. “I only meant that as a quip, a joke, miss Rem! Truly, there would be no problems with me leading the carriage together with lord Roswaal! I…I…I…I do not dislike the man that much!”

Rem’s horn stopped shining as she clapped her hands once, her smile evolving from predatory to merely happy. “Rem knew she could count on you, sir Otto! I am sure your kind self will also warn Roswaal of the change in seating!” Giving him a tiny bit too strong of a slap on the back that almost dislocated a shoulder Rem dashed back next to Ram.

Otto looked at the mangled hat in his hands. Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply. “Why do I have to be the middleman between the two sisters?”

“Well…” Garfiel, having been waiting to come out to the open, walked next to him as silently as he could. “I do not envy you, merchant. That looks hotter waters that the ones that Magriary braved. Good luck with them.”

“At least say that you are sorry that you are unable to help!”

…

The inside of the carriage was certainly more cramped than the coming trip, with both benches filled to the brim. On one side, Rem, Emilia and Frederica. On the other, Petra, Garfiel, Subaru with Beatrice and Ram. The latter was certainly looking uneasy, being the first time Rem had refused to sit next to her. And, even more worrying, Rem had chosen to engage in a conversation with the other two, leaving her feeling even more alienated.

Sighing soundlessly, she turned slightly to the left only to find herself facing the Great Spirit seated on Subaru’s lap, her face on a new book that her contractor had given her. The Subaru behind tried to give her a forced yet reassuring smile.

“Rem-chi needs just a bit of time.” His gaze moved to the second oni. “I think she just feels betrayed.”

Ram shuffled on her seat, her small seating feeling cramped despite Subaru making himself small to give her as much as possible. “I know my sister better than you, Barusu. But, as hard as it is for me to say it, you may be right.” Ram’s frown lessened a bit. “Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that I asked for your opinion on how long it would take.”

Subaru reclined himself against the wooden wall of the carriage and closed his eyes in concentration. “I…don’t really know, miss Ram. I do not remember anything about interpersonal issues like these.”

Ram scoffed. “Even Barusu should have had friends before us.” Her mocking smirk lost potency the longer Subaru stayed silently.

“I…I don’t remember.” His tone, apathetic but with a taint of unsureness.

Ram cursed internally while her hands gripped her maid uniform. 

“But…imagining a situation in which our relationship had turned sour, I believe I would try to talk things with you as quickly as possible.” Opening his eyes, he turned slightly towards her. “To leave things on the air is to let them fester unsolved. Simple things will worsen into senseless complications that have marinated in bad feelings.”

Ram shrunk a bit on her seat. “And, keeping this hypothetical, how would you go about it?”

“In your case, I would face you earnestly, I suppose.” He shuffled a bit, causing a repetition of that movement in the Great Spirit. “I have learnt that you prefer honesty and direct actions over gifts or apologies. Miss Rem, in that reward, seems similar to you.”

“So what should I do?”

“Hypothetically speaking, yes?” His fake smirk had just a tiny bit of honesty. “Talk with that theorised Rem-chi and learn what the problem is and tackle it. I sincerely doubt whatever has happened these days is a serious danger to your connection yet, should you require anything from me, I vow to help with your troubles.”

Ram rolled her eyes, keeping the relief out of her voice. “Like a friendless Barusu would be of any help.”

“But aren’t you a friend of mine?”

Ram stiffened. “...Your arrogance knows no bounds indeed.”

Suddenly, the carriage hit an enormous stone, or at least it was what they thought, knocking the passengers inside. Ram, weakened and still reeling from the fight, tumbled forward only to be stopped by Subaru’s left arm while his right held down Beatrice. Gripping it, she shuffled back, not uttering a word yet her gaze betrayed her and searched for Subaru’s. His was colder than she had ever seen, staring at the spot where the wheel had been. She blinked and the coldness was gone, substituted by the tiniest, honest worry for her in the usual sea of apathy. 

“Are you fine, miss Ram?”

Ram nodded wordlessly, still reeling from that earlier look. It was several steps worse than his usual one and a look she had seen once before. When Roswaal had surrendered. A look of those willing to die. Her hands strengthened their grip.

“Oh, sister was right! Now I see what you meant that night.” Interjected Rem, staring intently at Subaru’s arm. “Your training did pay off, Subaru-kun.”

Frederica shook her head at that crass comment. Petra blushed yet looked intently. Garfiel and Beatrice nodded, puffing their chests as if they had personally trained the man. Emilia tilted her head, a bit confused by the reactions and trying to remember what Ram had said back there. Ram, finally realising what he had been grabbing, retreated quickly into her position of before.

Shaking her head, she huffed, “Saying it paid off is an overstatement. Barusu still has not even reached the threshold for the average knight.”

Subaru, on the other hand, turned to Otto. “Everything alright with the carriage, sir Otto?”

“Surprisingly so, Natsuki-san. That rock, despite being that big, did no damage.” Came the reply, struggling to be heard through the distance.

A slow nod and he returned to the rest. “And miss Ram is correct, I am still wholly unprepared for physical combat. I intend to remedy it during the coming months.” He tugged at his collar with his now freed hand. “And I would enjoy returning to our sparring sessions, miss Rem.”

“Sister and Rem will be more than happy to help, if she approves, of course…” Rem shyly looked down.

And Ram was more than happy to take that chance to try to mend their relationship. “I will join in if only to kick Barusu’s arrogance down a peg.”

Subaru, still a bit distant, gazed backwards. ‘I don’t remember that rock…’

…

As they got off the carriage on Roswaal’s main manor, still not ready for their stance, Beatrice let go of Subaru’s hand. Dusting her clothes, she looked ahead. “Subaru, I still need to finetune the last parts of the contract so, tonight, I will stay in this manor’s library, in fact.” She gazed towards him. “Come for me when morning comes, I suppose.”

Subaru nodded, his apathetic mask slipping a bit into worry. “I will do so as the first thing of tomorrow.”

Giving him a small smile, Beatrice went ahead. “I know, in fact.”

…

Thankfully, all of his work had been prepared in time and had been sent to their objectives beforehand. The fire would cause no measly disturbance to his Providence. Entering his new, empty study, Subaru sat on the dusty chair in front of the empty table. Invoking his Invisible Providence with slightly more effort than normal, his arms rushed to the empty letters and books on the bookshelves. Today’s evening was his new, official, start as a ruler and he now had the experience of how to secure a safe and stable course ahead.

First was the orders for the exploitation of the mines he had ‘discovered’. And so a small mountain of letters formed at his right, calling for current and future miners and earth mages together with smiths, offering housing and jobs. The Mathers domain was slightly depopulated so some incentives would be required to enlarge the immigration pull, and so two new stacks appeared next to the first. Calls for teachers and personnel capable of teaching the letters to the population, builders, better rights for towns and villages, new regulations for business...

Speaking about regulations, regulations meant to codify laws and so the domain needed an unified civil code for private and public laws and so a new hand grabbed an empty book. A civil code meant a new bureaucratic apparatus to execute it and so new mountains of letters appeared, thirteen hands writing in busy determination the hours away. New laws meant punitive and retributive justice, and so a penal code would be next, together with a contentious administrative code for popular complaints against the bureaucracy. Lastly, a social code together with a mercantile one would be needed to manage and stop abuses from workplaces and merchants, if of the lowest priority as the local guilds were more than able to stop the worst excesses for a big portion of the employed bourgeoisie and regulate the traders. He could not, of course, bring all of his desired changes on a mere afternoon, and to a mere portion of the realm subjected to the higher authority and laws of the kingdom at large at that, but he had to start. And so he did.

Yet the biggest hurdle to overcome first was the budget. The taxes of the domain could get streamlined and a small portion of it went to the pockets of the individuals charged with their recollection. That must be fixed so that the economy collapses not. Thankfully, manors could be repurposed, jewelry and luxuries sold and the tax period was approaching. The real problem would be finding competent and, most important, diligent bureaucrats but, for now, he would manage alone together with sir Otto.

The next hurdle was his underground operations as the Penitent King. The first, baby steps of his empire below needed to be micromanaged to perfection. Followers, tested and made loyal. Information webs, constructed and listened to. Redistribution networks, pathed and secured. Subaru’s gaze went to the window. The first assassins from the nobility due to his debacle on the capital should be arriving soon, too. The wealth of their contractors would be a nice influx to both of his realms should he be able to utilise their crimes to get their titles revoked from them. To steal their fortunes after would be too easy.

His chair creaked as he turned slightly towards the moonless night sky, Invisible Providence still writing. Truly, it would be an awfully busy year.

A knock on his door was unable to shake him fully from his thoughts. “You may enter.” Surprising, no one ever dared to intrude on the regent’s working ho…

“Barusu?” The voice of not a ghost fully awoke him.

Subaru’s head turned to look at the door, noticing a young Ram with fresh bandages as she stared interested at the flying quills and pens.

“That’s not a half bad trick.” Raising an eyebrow, her gaze fell on a hand working alone on several books with the names of the members of the camp. “Are you writing our biographies too?”

Subaru shuffled on his seat. “No, not at all.” His gaze followed her fingers as they traced the beautiful letters of their names that contrasted with the simple and robotic one in the letters. “I just…have realised I forget easily so I am writing about you.” His voice lowered, being tainted a bit by shame, bashfulness and warming softness. “Your tastes, what you dislike and like, hobbies, dreams. Who you are.” 

Ram’s gaze tried to lock with his, her fingers stopping moving.

“You said I was looking at ghosts, not at you, and you were right.” He straightened on his chair. “I can’t make you happy if I know nothing about you, the real you, so I want to learn. And never forget.” His eyes gained steel and he looked at her. “No more ghosts of the past, I already said my goodbyes to them. If you will allow me, I would like to finally meet you, Ram-chi. Despite my failings of before.”

Her face, as calm as before, wasn’t altered as her hand left her book and she advanced towards him. “I like Earl Grey tea with half a spoon of honey, so write that down.” Her book was opened behind her and more letters were inscribed.

Subaru’s gaze was the first to break the connection as he looked towards the bandages in Ram’s hands. “And, if I am allowed a return question…”

“No, you aren’t.” Crouching in front of him, she pulled his long sleeves up and covered the new tallies, halfway healed, with the bandages. Her incompetence contrasted with the serious look in her eyes as she tried to do her best work. “I won’t try to understand why an enormous fool such as yourself has this deviancy but Ram, I, will be here. Everytime you do this moronic act, I will wipe the blood away and ask you to stop.”

“...why? They are just tallies.”

“Not to me. To me they are insults at our friendship. At yourself.” Her gaze, enraged yet a tiniest bit wet, was fixed on the wounds. “So I ask you to stop.”

Subaru looked away from that honest plead. “...say, miss Ram, could I ask for two favours?”

She frowned. “I will let you divert this topic just this once, Barusu.” Despite her reluctance, she got up and off the floor. “What did you want?”

“Could you lend me your wand and let me treat your condition daily for this week, starting today?”

Ram’s frown worsened. “And the explanation will be ‘Trust me, please’?”

Subaru faked a snicker and a smirk. “You know me well.”

Ram’s sigh was deeper than the darkness outside. “Fine, Barusu,” She pulled out her hand and slammed it against his hand. Grabbing a second chair, she shuffled in closer and, after wiping the dust, sat on it. “Do not break either of us.”

“It will never happen, Ram-chi.” His voice, filled with determination and courage dispelling the apathy of always, seemed to not have catched the sarcastic intent of her words.

Ram’s gaze dodged his. “Umpf, prideful words as always.” Ram trembled as the hands oh so softly caressed her scar, starting their careful treatment. Her mind’s fight against her body’s instincts was but a muttered mental ‘no’ as it slammed against Subaru, her hands clenching his clothes. The wave of relief, too big to be fought against. Seconds turned into minutes. “Ba…Barusu?” She heard herself say, her words too shaken up to be stopped.

“Yes?” The soft whisper from above reinforced her next tremor and her speech.

“I…I know I can’t ask you to never loop…” Her hands gripped harder. “But…could you not loop today? Could you not loop this conversation? This moment? I want…I need for it to feel, to be real for both of us.”

His gaze, hidden from her by their position, flickered to the window first and the sword later. It had rained and he had been asked about it. Now, could he really mirror today’s without Ram noticing? What failure would be worse? “...if that is what you want, Ram-chi, and if it is within my power, you have my word.”

“Not your word, you lie all the time.” A tiny, regretful groan was held back as his magic started to wane and retreat. “I want your actions, please. For me.”

Subaru retreated his hand. When Ram looked up he nodded.

…

Subaru woke up in a cold sweat, low mutterings still on his mouth as he rushed out of the ground. The rumbling, that rumbling, overpowering all of his sensations and senses. His tinnitus was a nightmare made real and so, not looking at the window, behind, the night of before, he hurried out of the door, sheathed sword in his hand.

He crossed empty and dark hallways as if possessed, the demons in his heart laughing at his weak resolve. At his belief of having made a difference. His fears, pointing at a particular door with a regretful glare. He couldn’t have failed, right?

He slammed the library of the new mansion’s door wide open. Behind, dusty bookshelves. Behind, no stools in front of the door. He advanced a weak step, almost falling to his knees and right hand on the hilt of his sword, his grip so strong he almost dislocated his thumb.

A gloved hand grabbed his chin and pulled it to his right. “Huh, you really do look different from this angle, in fact.”

Subaru blinked as the magic lamp next to the door was activated, revealing a Beatrice taller than him by almost a head. The first thing that he saw were the butterflies in her eyes, once blue, were now a shining, predatory orange. Next were her lips, now a black made of the void of Al-Shamak. Her hairstyle had changed wildly, moving to one similar to his. Black, long hair that reached the middle of her back.

Her dress, if the same as before, had changed its colour palette from its bright colours of before to blacks, oranges and whites, mirroring the otherworldly clothing he had already forgotten but had brought to the mansion. Her fingerless gloves, reaching to her elbows, were stripped too.

“Yet, in honesty, I find myself immensely enjoying this view, I suppose. You look cuter.”

“Be-Beako, you are…” ‘Still here, still safe, still free.’ “...big.” He forced his honest, relieved smile to change to a fake, teasing smirk. “I don’t think I will be able to carry you anymore.”

“Oh, I don’t think that that will be a problem, contractor of mine.” Her hand left her chin as she stalked around him before making a staircase of four black Minyas. Twirling around after climbing it, she let herself fall backwards only to be catched in a princess-carry by an apathetic Subaru. She weighed the same as before. “I am made of mana, in fact.” She turned her gaze towards him.

Subaru let out a toneless snicker. “Glad to hear, I would regret not longer being able to, after all.”

Smirking, Beatrice snuggled closer and put an arm around his neck. “Now, chosen one of mine,” Her words, a purr, a wildfire made out of contentment and hope. “, take me away, in fact. Take me away from this Library and grant me my deepest wish. I want you to take me away and into a new morning, I suppose.”

Subaru’s arms squished the freed spirit a bit more, securing his hold so that she would never fall. “Always.”

Beatrice rested her head on her shoulder, her almost golden gaze on him. On the real person, not the legend. On the one that carried her out of the library and into a new, happier, blueless future. On the one that had chosen her as his first. On her Subaru.

…

Chapter Text

(C̅X̅X̅MMMCCCLXXXV)

Tensing the cord they were hosted in, they tugged their cognitive disruption cloak and rappelled down the front of the manor. Soundlessly and out of view, their gaze was locked on a particular closed window. Readying their one handed crossbow and patting their back up dagger, they closed in on their target. Worst case, they still had their magic and a few firestones. They shook their head, trying to dispel their doubts. Their target was mortal, no matter their title. They bleed and so they must die too. That was natural law. Even Archbishops die. Even Witchbeasts. They tried to not think about who had killed those.

As they closed in the window opened as the black-haired man breathed the late morning air, almost causing their heart to stop in their chest. It was fine, the plan was still fine. They raised their crossbow. If anything, it was now e…

The man turned and looked straight into their direction. Their blood froze up, their gaze lowering itself to see through themselves the wall below. Both them and the rope were invisible. How…It must have been a coincidence, surely. They raised their gaze only to find now the man resting on the window’s sill, still looking straight up at them. They should be shooting already, just…

Seconds passed and a black-haired woman joined in, putting her arms around his neck, her gaze also turning towards them.

“Number Five, right?” Subaru’s apathetic tone made their legs tremble. “Or would you prefer Lisa Ostronov? Nevermind that. Could you do me a personal favour? Go to the baron, your master, and tell them that they have been had. Their crimes are up. They are done. And send them the Penitent King’s regards while you are at it, if you may.”

Her gaze flickered to the direction where the mansion of her lord was and back right at the terrifying man in front. Suddenly, his title seemed all the realer. The Great Spirit’s stare was also not looking good in the least, the edge in those eyes dictating death should they not follow. Nodding, they rappelled down the wall and rushed away from the manor, leaving all of their equipment behind.

Subaru, on his window, shook his head, the first one had come awfully quickly.

“My chosen one is for sure a troublesome contractor, in fact.” Beatrice sighed deeply snuggling closer. “Thankfully, Betty can easily deal with whatever small pests show up to disturb our peace, I suppose.”

“I appreciate your backing, Beako.” Forcing a smile, he patted his hands. “But,...” He turned around, Beatrice not letting go and causing them to be hugged against the window, just now face to face. “I wonder if you may have misunderstood something. I wanted you to be happy, to make new memories, yes?”

Beatrice nodded, a lazy smile on her face. 

“But that does not mean I wanted you to only do so with me, to stay and spend your time solely beside me.”

Petra knocked on the door and entered. “Is B…” Her eyes opened wide as she saw them and backed away, blushing at their compromising, too close for comfort, position, leaving the door open.

Subaru’s smile was no longer forced as his attention returned to Beatrice, hers now dying a bit. “See? There’s a kid that wants to spend some time with you, too.”

“So you do not want me here, I suppose?” Beatrice looked down.

Subaru strengthened the hug a bit to reassure her. “Nothing like that and you know it. I just want your painting to have dozens of colours in it, not just mine.” He looked at the open door. “Plus, it would be just for a few hours and I do have butler duties. Just…try to reach out to the others? I want you to be happy, not just with me. I’m sure Petra would enjoy your company, as would the others, and you could be entertained by theirs too. Let us build a big future filled with opportunities and, for that reason, let’s both try, alright?”

Beatrice rested her head on his shoulder, his right hand moving to pat it. “Maybe Betty could share her greatness with the others, in fact. I will go do what you recommend, I suppose.” Despite her words she made no movements to leave the hug. Her eyes gazed up to his face. “But I want you to say it.”

Subaru faked a deep sigh. “Yes, Beako, I want you here.”

Now smiling and stretching like a cat, Beatrice finally left the hug. “This Great Spirit will entertain the children with great reluctance thanks to your insistence, I suppose.” Just before she left the room she turned back, a tiny flash of panic in her eyes. “You will come to search for me for lunch, right?”

At that Subaru shook his head. “Petra is not going to eat you, Beako.”

Beatrice huffed. “Of course not, she is no opponent to…Nevermind then! I will excel without your assistance, in fact!” And like that she left the room.

Outside, a badly hidden Petra screamed. “That’s you, Beatrice?! You look super cool!”

The startled sounds of a starting to panic spirit were heard as Petra started to run around her and drag her towards the library. Subaru let out a small, honest snicker at that, happy at her. He flinched a tiny bit as the two of them left with hurried steps. Shaking his head he made a mental note to admonish Petra later for running on the hallways.

…

Beatrice groaned as she laid face first into Subaru’s bed, her arms and legs extended, while her apathetic contractor massaged her back. “I…How can she have so much energy, in fact?”

“Children are bundles filled with it from my experience. If one is not used to them, it can prove to be quite challenging.” His skilled hands treated whatever malady, in the form of muscle, or mana, pains, was present on her.

“We didn’t even get to the good part of my book, they just spent an hour playing with my dress and another forcing me to run around, I suppose! I couldn’t even astound them with my marvellous Yin magic either.”

“And did you have fun?”

“How could I enjoy such barbaric pastimes, in fact!” Beatrice looked to the opposite side he was on. “Yet I believe I could only be convinced to repeat such a chaotic morning if the need arises, not that it will.”

“That much, huh.” Subaru’s face moved into a tiny smile. “You appear to be good with children.”

“What are you hearing, in fact?!”

Another round of knocking hit their door. Rem, opening the door, tilted her head at the Great Spirit, to her random stranger. Frowning, she moved to question before both of them turned, Beatrice’s butterflies too characteristic to be missed. “Is that…Beatrice? Rem heard Petra’s screaming but believed it to be…an exaggeration.”

“Reality often goes against the wishes of mortals, I suppose.” Her face returned to the pillow.

Subaru nodded. “She changed her form due to our contract, it seems. The Great Spirit of Fire can do something similar so I mistook its commonness, my regrets at that."

Rem’s gaze turned sharp as her eyes examined the new Beatrice in the form of a grown woman. Her eyes gained some enmity for a few seconds while calculations ran behind them. This development was a problem indeed. Rem had never expected Beatrice to go this far. “I see…” Her gaze examined the massage. “My apologies for the question but…do spirits suffer from back pain?”

“Of course we do, in fact.” Beatrice lied as easily as breathing came to mortals.

Rem’s frown worsened. “Changing the topic, Rem has come to notify you that lunch has been set. Will both of you come?”

Subaru backed from Beatrice and nodded. “Thanks for the announcement, miss Rem.” Stretching from his earlier position, Beatrice just turned around and raised her arms. Subaru doubled down and picked Beatrice in a princess-carry again, as if finding nothing strange with it. Beatrice grabbed one around his neck and the other grabbed a book from the air itself.

Rem’s face suffered a very tiny tick. Deciding to not add any fire to the situation she turned around and returned to the dining room. This was a big problem to her plans indeed.

…

As the three of them entered the dining room two forks fell from hands. Roswaal, wide eyed, reclined on his chair, making no effort to recover his fork. He grimaced a tiny bit, not liking the pairing at all. Beatrice, with that madman? Impossible, unforgivable. He would need to separate them, consequences be damned.

Ram did her best to make her mistake as natural as possible, dropping the knife too and, crossing her arms, reclined backwards on her chair. “Finally deciding to bless us with your presence, Great Spirit?”

“Betty willed such an enormous reward as reasonable for your efforts obeying Betty’s Subaru’s orders, in fact.” Not moving her gaze from her book, she kept her posture as Subaru sat on his chair, choosing his lap as her seating.

Ram tensed a tiny bit more. “Oh, is that so?” She looked intently at an empty chair next to her. “And I guess your lack of practice has made you forget that there are enough chairs to not be sharing, right? Have a minimum of decorum, Great Spirit, Roswaal-sama is with us today.”

Beatrice raised an eyebrow and shuffled closer to Subaru, finally pulling her gaze out of the book. “Is that so, oni maid? And what are you going to do about it if Betty refuses, I suppose?”

Had Ram been grabbing any cutlery it would have had its form warped out of shape. Her jaw clenched and her gaze grew colder. “I will act as i…”

“Beatrice!” Having finally assimilated the changed spirit, Emilia slammed her hands at the table, almost knocking over her drink. “You look so cool!” Petra nodded excitedly.

Otto, not wanting any more enemies, said nothing and merely shuffled on his seat, giving a smaller nod.

Garfiel, mouth full with food, grumbled an unhearable response that got drowned out by Frederica’s slap on the back of his head. “I concur, Great Spirit. Your form feels novel and black seems to suit you.”

Beatrice puffed out her chest and raised her nose. “It is but expected from me, in fact.”

“I will miss the hairstyle, though, it looked great.” Emilia mumbled.

“And what made you go for such a makeover, Beatrice?” Roswaal interjected next, his joyous tone and weird accent on. 

“You, from them all, already know, court mage, in fact.” Beatrice returned to her book yet pointed at a piece of the steak on Subaru’s plate. “I want a bite of that, I suppose.”

Subaru got into cutting a piece. “She does feel very…different yet she is as she always has been. Beako’s work will be easier to do if nothing else. I never understood how your smaller form could manage that enormous library by itself.” As he fed her the food, he grabbed a napkin and cleaned her lips, dyed a twinkling void that threatened to consume whoever gazed upon them for too long.

“Not bad, I suppose.” Beatrice’s smirk widened a bit as she eyed the pink haired oni, her irritated gaze worsening while her right hand whitened around her recovered fork. It grew into a full smile when the maid stabbed her food with overwhelming malice.

Rem, seated on the table, did her best to hide her flickering attention between the two of them. Maybe she could use this. Roswaal’s gaze did the same, his mind replicating Rem’s thought and starting to scheme again.

Meanwhile, Subaru turned his attention to Roswaal. “So, has the capital contacted you?”

The clown shuffled as an enigmatic smile appeared on his face. “The Council of Elders did call for your presence a month in advance, knight Subaru. That means we will have to rush your knighting ceremony a bit but I doubt it will offend you. You should be ready to part in three weeks' time towards the capital.”

A resolute nod and Subaru returned his attention to the table just in time to see Emilia standing right beside him and intently gazing at Beatrice’s hair. “That’s…very long, we could braid it together!”

Beatrice side-eyed Subaru just to see him giving her a slow, tiny nod of encouragement. “I could offer my expertise in that reward, I suppose.” His budding smile blew her reticences as she nodded herself, now more excited, and her attention returned to Emilia. “Even if I would have to request a hairbrush, in fact.”

“I can lend you one of mine no problem! But we will need to gift you one of your own.” Emilia tapped her lips, thinking about which one she would like.

Subaru reclined on his chair as the conversation kept moving on, always reassuring Beatrice and pushing her forward to engage with the camp as it went on.

…

Ram shuffled on her seat under the parasol. Her sister next to her, they watched as Garfiel and Subaru sparred. Her gaze orbited between her sister and the men fighting in front. Ram readjusted her seating position again.

“Sister.” Started Rem, not looking away from the men in front. “Who do you think will win?”

“I couldn’t care less about whose buffon’s luck is better.” Was her biting reply. She turned her gaze towards her. “Rem…could we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, sister. I have made abundantly clear my complete disapproval of your love choice.” Rem didn’t turn towards her. “And I will refuse to ever accept it.”

“So you will make me choose between you or him, is that it?”

“Yes. As much as it pains me, Rem would rather have you hating me than romancing lord Roswaal.” She shuffled on her seat. Any of her previous loyalty had completely vanished once he had turned against Ram. And should she be unable to stop it with normal means…

“That is unjust and you know it, Rem.”

“That’s…an ironic accusation, don’t you think?” Now Rem turned to her fully, her eyes revealing betrayal. Ram backed off a bit under the fire of Rem’s voice. “The only reason you can accuse me of such is because lord Roswaal failed. Sister, you won your gamble and your plan paid off but you never told Rem, you never told anyone. Why should Rem not do what you selfishly did?”

“That’s…” The ‘different’ died in her lips. And indeed it was. Rem wasn’t going behind her sister’s back. Her gaze retreated from Rem and moved ahead to find Subaru being toppled over, Garfiel above him as he lost the duel.

“Those were nice moves, Boss.”

“Likewise, sir Garfiel.” Subaru tugged at his shirt’s collar, his empty eyes glinting in pride at the boy.

The honest praise of always made Garfiel turn around slightly and scratch his head. “Thanks…”

“And how is it going with miss Frederica? Your reunion seemed…chiller than expected. Should you need a helping hand, I am willing to give it.”

“Just…you know how it is…”

“You do not know how to approach her, I take?”

Rem signalled with her chin at the two men as they conversed. “Look there and see what’s different, sister. Garfiel was saved from Roswaal too yet you offered no regrets, no apologies for your choices.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for, I fought with them to stop Roswaal-sama.”

“Did you, sister? And is there no need to apologise, sister, really?” Rem shook her head. “As amazing as you are, even you have your flaws. And I thought you were great enough to see them.” Rem jumped out of her seat. 

Ram, silenced by the surprising reply, struggled to arm a coherent reply.

“Lady Emilia isn’t the only one who is moving forwards, sister. And Rem is surprised at you being the one digging her heels in.” And Rem left her behind as she rushed towards Subaru and started her session of sparring.

Ram repressed a frustrated growl. Raising a hand to her mouth, she started to bite her nails as her eyes watched their small bout. Rem, stronger, faster, agiler and better versed in hand to hand combat, would be able to make quick work of the normal man and thus they had chosen to spar via training swords. That resulted in a chaotic battle that consisted of a storm of feints, fades and slides of the retreating black-haired man facing the reckless and overly aggressive Rem. Her fighting style, while unsafe, was effective beyond doubt, as for every hit she tanked the dissed one of her own.

A small hiss escaped Ram’s lips, noticing Rem had lessened her mental block but would, surely, slam it back up as soon as they returned to the mansion. She had chosen her love and, just when Roswaal had finally been freed, it turned out the reality was becoming one in which she did not even have the right to pursue it. Her glare stabbed at Subaru, an easy person to blame and one that would accept her blame fully. Her sister was just being emotional and she was too important to her to resent her over this. Roswaal-sama had already been punished and Ram understood he was capable of making mistakes yet she would always stand at his side. Garfiel and Emilia were just blameless.

And that left the time traveler with the weaker connection, who had fought against her convictions and who was giving her countless headaches. Her gaze flickered around, not seeing the spirit that had spent the past three days glued to his side. She did not know how he had done it but Beatrice had gotten bolder and even more intolerant! Her eyes returned to the duel just in time to see Rem’s sword hit his chin and topple him to the ground, causing Ram to grimace.

…wait, why did she care if he got hurt?! The memory of yesterday night flashes and she shook her head rapidly. Those were different types of hurt! One was creepy, pointless and self-blaming. The other was a well deserved hit due to his mingling and arrogant belief of being able to fight dangerous battles. And speaking about well deserved hits…Ram got up once Rem finished her treatment. “My turn to beat up Barusu has arrived, yes?”

An exhausted Subaru got off the floor and nodded. “Miss Ram, are you joining in? I am grateful for your assistance in my training.” His empty gaze inspected her. “My apologies in advance but I am very inexperienced in fighting against you so, do not expect much from myself. And, evermore, how did your talk with miss Rem go?” The honest and worried words seemed mocking to her. Subaru, seeing her tense up, got his stance ready.

The punch that had been directed at his face was dodged, only hitting his hair. “Usable if,” Her left hand opened, aiming for his other shoulder. Something flickered in Subaru’s gaze and he defended his right leg, getting hit on his shoulder despite having fought this fight a few times already, even winning some. “, very pitiable reflexes.” Reeling from her full hit, Subaru’s stance was broken and he retreated with uncoordinated steps. Ram, arching an eyebrow at that, let him get away for now. “Nevermind, Barusu. I retract that statement. Your reflexes are nothing either.”

“My apologies…I…I seem to have lost focus.” Subaru frowned, his cold eyes turning to his leg for a few seconds, as if blaming it. “Could we…” Subaru blocked a second punch, twirling around the arm and trying to throw her using her own inertia. Ram simply forced her feet into the ground and pulled her arm back, overpowering his meagre progress. A rough kick to the legs and Subaru found himself falling onto the ground. Doubling down, she immobilised both arms and legs of his.

“Three defeats out of three defeats, Barusu. You are no warrior.” Her irritation from before, not having been fixed by beating him up, flared again. Their closeness was also adding to it. She hated how he felt under her. She hated how her hands were feeling his budding musculature. She hated his sweaty smell reaching her noise like a perfume. She hated that letting go and separating from him had taken a modicum of effort to get away from the comfort his touch brought. “And you are no knight.”

“A fair assessment.” Contrary to her expectatives, Subaru apathetically nodded. “I know I can’t claim either title yet I will train all the more to be ready for when the time comes. And, even if it is not part of my Providence, I will hope for a day a fighter like you can recognise me.” His gaze, not angered, not irritated, was looking at her plainly. In it, a glint of pride for her…

Ram got up to her feet and dusted her uniform, her face as uncaring as before. “You can dream, Barusu.”

…

High above, on the higher floors of the manor, a window was broken, a web of cracks surrounding the image of Ram, far away below. Beatrice retreated her hand, her cold glare on the maid as she finally retreated from her contractor. She had gone beyond the limits of being considered a benign nuisance. The Great Spirit turned around and returned to the library to continue reading that book to Petra, the cracks on the crystal behind ever increasing.

On a second window of a second hallway, a second hand also left their window. Roswaal stared intently at the show below too. Both Rem’s evident plot and Ram’s reluctance were new cards he could play against the contract of the black haired man with the spirit. There would be no dangerous madman beside Beatrice if he could do anything about it. 

…

“Well, Natsuki-san, anything more?” Otto prayed for the answer to be a ‘no’ as he looked at the towering amount of letters his carriage had been filled with. A small casing was filled with half a dozen pens. He could not stop a sigh as he looked at a portion signed to no receivers. “And please, tell me the guard can’t detain me for this.”

“I am hoping they will do so at the capital’s gate, sir Otto. They will be the ones emptying most of your cargo.” Subaru’s toneless words did nothing to dispel his reticences. “Just think of it as helping nudge one, or two or a hundred and twenty two two month long schemes ahead.”

“Like hell I want to do that!” He hid his face behind his hands, sighing deeply. “Really, this will take me almost a week!”

“Only that? I had accounted for a month. You do work fast, Minister of Internal Affairs.”

“Argh!” Otto, having dug another hole for himself, lowered his head. Breathing in, the joking atmosphere disappeared as he turned towards Subaru. “Will you be alright? You are not planning something dangerous, right?”

“I will only follow my Providence, sir Otto.” His gaze went back to the carriage. “And remember, half of those Conversation Mirrors will stay, for a while, in the capital. A man with the tattoo of a shattered crown will pick them up.”

Otto shook his head. “That time traveling Divine Protection seems very useful, Natsuki-san.” His right hand caressed his nose. “Just…don’t overdo it, alright? I fear what drawback it must have.”

Subaru’s smile was crooked yet not faked. “Curious, I have yet to find it. Until now, it has yet to fail me.” 

Otto frowned. “I see…I will try to not add to its usage still.” His voice gained determination. “You can trust me with this, Natsuki-san.”

“But of course, Otto. After all, you are working for your pay.”

“Do not remind me!”

Their back and forth ended rather quickly. Subaru, feeling somewhat strange, stayed and looked at the leaving carriage. ‘I am wasting time.’ No matter that thought, a feeling started to creep up his spine. Melancholy. He…he was sad at seeing the merchant go away.

Noticing him there, Otto waved his hat as a goodbye and soon got out of his view. Subaru moved not as the hours came to be and pass. Only when the sun went down, blinding him, he realised how much time he had wasted. He grabbed his sword and his gaze looked around, searching for eyes able to see him. Finding none, he struggled not to restart the day yet again.

…

Finally, Otto waved his hat as a goodbye. Subaru returned the wave and turned around, unwilling to see the carriage get out of his view. He needed to work, after all. To work and to plan. And, should he feel the need to see him again, he could always just loop today. Dance the same day. This practice had lost most of its tediousness of before, the days filled with people who seemed to enjoy his presence.

His steps carried back to his study. Beatrice was with Rem and Emilia this evening getting her hair done so that distraction was out. Garfiel and Frederica seemed to still be in their dance yet the little brother was making his moves. The situation would resolve without his intervention. The clown was neutered and Ram would waste her time not on him. This evening was his.

Entering the room, his Invisible Providence came and grabbed both pens and his sewing tools. Half a hundred of very different scarves, one for each Ryuzu, were done but the rest was still a work in progress. A few plushies were also being created as gifts for Meili and Petra and Elsa’s scarves and blankets were ready to be delivered. He would wait until Ram was sorted out.

The rest was today’s work for the domain. And for the planning against the Witch of Vainglory.

…

Dinner was slightly less explosive. The camp, now acclimatised to Beatrice’s new form, only needed to build a bit more of resistance against the new routine of the two of them, their null distance between still both new and surprising. Both oni maids in particular were highly distracted by Subaru feeding Beatrice parts of his meal while she discussed with him some spells they had arrived talking about. On the other end, Frederica and Garfiel were finally talking with some ease between themselves while Emilia had followed Beatrice’s example and was eating with a book, eyebrows furrowed in concentration at a part she did not get and would have to ask Subaru about tomorrow.

Roswaal, a minuscule tick forcing his right eye to close a tiny bit for half a second, clapped his hands to distract himself from the view of Beatrice’s new princess braid, courtesy of Rem and Emilia. “Today’s dinner feels a bit…fragmented, doesn’t it? How about we liven up a bit and talk about all of ourselves?” His fake smile turned towards a startled and regretful Emilia as she almost dropped her book. “Have you decided what you want to do about the Great Spirit?” 

Her eyes turned downwards as her hands gripped the tablecloth. “I am…still thinking about it. I believe I want to become someone worthy of that pact and that I will choose Puck in the future but…”

“There really is no need to rush things, Lady Emilia.” Subaru’s gaze, now armed with concealed enmity at that stabbing question, turned towards Roswaal. “What topic did you really want to talk about, Ros-chi?”

“Oh, forgive the lord of this manor for trying to make small talk.” Feigning hurt in his voice, Roswaal shook his head. “I was simply feeling nostalgic. These nights have been hard after my reckoning with Teacher’s fate.”

Subaru arched an eyebrow, not believing a single word he was saying. Emilia’s expression melted into worry, believing every word.

“I just wanted to reminisce a bit about first loves.” Roswaal theatrically sighed as he rested his head on a hand. 

Rem and Emilia stared at each other, not having had theirs. Beatrice stiffened. Garfiel choked on his food while Frederica’s pitying gaze fell on him. Rem tensed up like a coiled string. Petra, blushing a bit, looked down. Ram barely maintained her poker face. Subaru’s frown worsened just a tiny bit.

Having gotten their attention, Roswaal sighed even more deeply. “As you all should know, they are undying flames that never go out. I will never forget Teacher, her voice, her gestures, her character. It is an everlasting feeling that will never go away. Some would call what I am saying an obsession, but this is the truth.” His voice gained confidence and the fakeness of his tone went away. “They never fizzle out while other loves do die. I will forever love her and nothing will change this.”

Ram’s eyes widened a bit. She forced her gaze back onto the plate, the words replaying in her head. The indirect rejection, a new stab into her heart.

“So, what is your opinion?”

“Um…lord Roswaal, what is love?” Her eyes turned to Subaru, asking him with her gaze. Her innocence, known, raised little eyebrows.

Roswaal’s head almost fell from his hand at Emilia’s question, his mind still associating her with the image of a capable leader. “Pardon?”

“Ros-chi is referring to physical or romantical attraction towards another person, Lady Emilia.”

She grew even more confused. “...like wanting to shake their hand?”

Subaru frowned. “The explanation will be long, it seems.” Before any could stop the well meaning knight, he started to explain both in detail, using terminology as if he was speaking on a biology documentary.

A bright red Emilia, unable to look at anyone, hid her face behind her hands. “...Dad never told me anything about that.” 

Petra frowned, now doubting how old Emilia truly was, while the other three maids stared daggers at the man that had spoken about a taboo topic with the directness of a drunkard.

“...truly? The Great Spirit neglected this much of your education?” Subaru’s frown worsened. “We will revise what you know about presumed common things tomorrow morning.” He blinked once, his attention returning to the clown. “Was this all?”

“Oh no, I wanted you to share your experiences, if willing to.” Relieved at not having to deal with that part of Emilia’s education as to dodge the Great Spirit’s ire, Roswaal reclined on his chair with new energy.

Garfiel shrunk on his chair. Frederica crossed her arms, neither willing nor unwilling but not wanting to answer if not prompted as she had noticed to whom that question had been directed. Both oni maids tried to hide their alertness as it zeroed in on Subaru. 

Subaru’s eyes grew cold as Roswaal’s gaze gained an edge. “While you are right in that a first love never goes away, as long as one’s willing it is but another memory to overcome. The chains of the past are just that, in the past. The hold they have in your present is granted.”

Both maids let out a soundless, relieved sigh, even if one frowned right after. The Great Spirit shuffled closer, her expression a bit brighter.

“That’s a defeatist mindset, truth be told.”

“And yours is delusional, truth be told.”

Roswaal’s smile grew as cold as Subaru’s stare. “Aren’t we different?”

“I thank my birth everyday for giving me that privilege.”

Roswaal’s smile widened in aggression before Rem faked a cough. 

“Let’s refrain from such conflicts while the food we prepared is getting cold, would that be a reasonable request?”

Subaru nodded. “Speaking about requests, could I ask a question to all of you today?”

The camp tensed up, believing his dry and empty words to be of importance. 

“You may, Subaru.” Roswaal let his grievance go and straightened on his chair.

“What is your favourite flower?”

The silence turned overwhelming. Ram, the first to recognise the question, sighed. “Leave it to Barusu to make a meaningless question be a source of fright. I find myself preferring amaryllis.”

Rem, her frown morphing into a kind smile, talked next. “Rem prefers dahlias.”

Roswaal snickered at the sudden question yet answered as he crossed his arms. “Morning glories for myself.”

“Vincas…” Mumbled Garfiel, awkwardness making him speak to his plate.

“Myself white heathers.” Frederica spoke plainly, her easy going smile still in place.

“Snapdragons are very cute.” Interjected Petra, happy to share

“Fressias! Puck and I never agreed on that.”

“For myself I would go with black roses.” Muttered Beatrice, thinking back on the books she had read.

Subaru nodded again. “My most honest thanks for answering. I won’t forget this fact.”

Beatrice turned towards him and, with half a smile, asked, “And yours, contractor of mine?”

“I…” Subaru fell silent, thinking deeply about his choice. He had never stopped to think about it, after all, and his memories of flowers were sepia, cracked and almost forgotten. “...would go with marigolds…” 

Beatrice, now suddenly serious, nodded. “Betty will not forget it either.”

“And why that weird question now, time traveler?” Roswaal was quick to change the atmosphere again.

“I realised I actually know very little about you all as people and so I have decided to correct that mistake. Do you have a problem with it, Ros-chi?”

“Oh, I see. I guess I should not have answered?”

Subaru frowned. “Why, clown? You are included too.”

Roswaal shuffled on his chair, noticing his honesty. He really did not know what to make of the madman in front.

…

Today’s treatment was silent and less profound than yesterday, as materials were flying around them as Subaru multitasked. Growing angered at that, at the situation, at their closeness, Ram was dying to get away from this compromising, too close for comfort, position. She should have never agreed to it, she should… She squinted her eyes, a small patch of darker colour having appeared on his sleeve. “Barusu, you remember yesterday, yes?” Her voice, toneless, was edging between pity and disappointment. 

Subaru, not skilled enough to add talking to the list, nodded. 

Her gaze, doubting, moved up to his apathetic gaze. Upon seeing her doubts he lightly shook his head, his free hand giving her right hand, gripping his shirt, a light squish.

“I see…” How could she believe him? But…but she did. “I will ask you to stop then, again.”

Subaru’s eyes were forcibly rolled, his face turning exasperated. “It harms no one, Ram-chi.”

“It harms you.”

“I can’t get harmed, I lost the privilege.”

Ram clenched her jaw. “No matter what you believe, I will bandage them all the same.” Her body, under her will, wavered not as the magic fizzled and stopped.

Subaru sighed, “Can I stop you, miss Ram?”

“Why does your moronic self ask what you already know, I will never understand.” Grabbing the bandages she had carried for the if that had turned reality, she got into her duty, her gaze softening as it traced his countless scars. “Please…just, consider Ram’s words.”

He tensed at her cracking tone. Looking around, he grabbed the thing he had been working on with an Invisible Providence. “...changing the topic, here. It’s yours.”

Finishing her job, her gaze moved to a pink blanket with her favourite flower embroidered in it. She blinked as she grabbed the items before turning back to Subaru.

Scratching his head, his apathetic gaze had a hint of awkwardness. “I had noticed you do not deal well with the cold and I knew of no other gift to give you, nor when you were born so…Take it, my first ever gift this restart.”

“...you already looped this conversation?”

Subaru shook his head.

Ram’s hands gripped the gift. “...why would you give me this?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“I see.” Saying nothing more she left to her room.

Subaru followed a few minutes after. Outside, he noticed a resting Great Spirit, her back against the wall. “Sorry for having you wait outside for so long, Beako.”

“I just arrived, in fact.” Came the perfect lie as she left the shadows of the wall. With no shame she jumped at Subaru, acquiring her method of transport yet again. “We will talk little else as you will go to sleep, I suppose?”

Subaru’s apathetic face communicated nothing. “Actually, do you want to go star gazing again tonight? Just for a few hours? I want to remember, if you want to teach, of course.”

“I could be bothered to, in fact.” Her tiny smile would bloom across the following two hours, neither her finger nor voice ever tiring. Her head, on Subaru’s shoulder, not minding the grass below.

…

“Well, good night, Beako.”

Beatrice nodded and jumped off his princess carry. As Subaru entered his room Beatrice followed. 

He turned around, “Did you need something?”

“Nothing, in fact.” Beatrice sat on her bed, her eyes trailing the nothingness in the room. “You seem to lack decorations, I suppose. Betty, as the kind spirit she is, will help with that.”

Subaru’s nod was slow. “So…you prefer to sleep here? Should I go…”

Beatrice patted the empty spice at her right, looking as if she would say no word if he did not do as told. Forcing a sigh, Subaru followed and sat on the bed.

“You told me you were too scared to sleep on a bed and I want to help with that, in fact.” Her voice, a soft whisper.

Subaru blinked and turned towards her.

“You said that you feared this illusion, this reality, us, would shatter and be revealed as a dream.” Beatrice looked straight at him. “I shall break that fear myself, I suppose.”

His eyes gained a taint of fear as he sideeyed the pillow. “...there really is no need. The floor is…”

“Not good enough, in fact.” Her hands went to his shoulders, slowly nudging him into the bed. “Trust me. Your fear is just that, fear.”

Subaru’s body started to lightly tremble, panic setting in. His desperate gaze went to Beatrice, stilling itself somewhat as he came upon her determined look. “You…you promise? Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Always. I will destroy your night terrors, your ghosts, until I alone remain.” A new promise. 

Subaru, half doubting her, took a long time to nod, even longer to close his eyes. His tired body and mind, however, fell quickly to exhaustion.

Beatrice shuffled closer, enveloping him in a hug, her right hand and gaze trailing his face as his expressions changed. Fear, calmness, fear again. The nightmares and tremors started to appear on his face. Beatrice cuddled closer, her unblinking eyes carving into memory these new expressions. The nightmares below the apathy. The night terrors of her fearless hero. The regrets of one who had always won. The ghosts that refused to let him walk on his present and towards his future.

Her right hand softly caught a small, growing tear, and overpowered it with a soft caress. Slowly, ever so slowly, his tremors stopped. Trauma was not easy nor healed quickly. And she knew not what it was nor how to act towards its healing. Her hands gripped his as they went to scratch his arms, her eyes tracing the self-inflicted scars upon scars. But she will be there every step of the way, for she wanted to. 

And, softly, she placed her forehead on his, their hug now an embrace. Beatrice blinked not as hours passed by, wanting to understand, to know everything about her contractor, her chosen one. Her hands’ grip morphed into handholds, intertwining her fingers with his. She smiled as his expression morphed into one slightly more peaceful.

Now she knew for sure. She truly was Mother’s daughter. Her Greed’s beat was evergrowing, the feelings she felt as she looked at his sleeping face only growing in intensity. Her love, a lake she kept subestimating its depth. She would never let go nor let him do so. Their contract would stand for all the time.

…………

Chapter Text

Subaru slowly blinked, awaking to the sounds of morning. In front, the soft breathing of Beatrice as she slept had the chirping of morning birds as its accompaniment. “...it stayed real…” Subaru whispered. “You kept your promise.” As if having heard him, the sleeping spirit cuddled even closer, their hands still grabbing each other.

Blinking, his body called for a return to his first restful night in almost two centuries if he counted not the past timeline. His will faltered and he fell asleep again, his blurry eyes noticing a new nightstand with a black rose and a marigold made from magic crystals on two vases.

…

“Huh…” Muttered Rem in the kitchen, finding no Subaru readying breakfast nor cleaning around the manor. While she usually woke up extra early, Subaru was yet to despite all the maids being up and going around. And it was even more surprising as he had never skipped work before. Sighing, she decided to let it go as his workload had increased due to taking Roswaal’s duties as lord.

Ram, entering the kitchen, was way less forgiving. Glaring around, she turned around and left right away. Sighing, Rem dropped her cooking utensils and hurried behind. “Sister, really…” She started to say as he did her best to catch up to a speeding Ram.

“Had he realised he was unable to work three jobs at the same time he should have said something. Having not done so it is solely his fault.”

“But, really, there’s no need. For one time he seems to be resting Rem feels like this is blowing it out of proportion. And we truly do not need his help…”

“So you believe he should just push all of his job onto us?” The maid whose job was pushed onto others snarled back at Rem.

“Sist…”

Not waiting anymore Ram rammed through the door of Subaru’s room. Behind, a startled, half asleep Subaru turned to them, yesterday’s clothes wrinkled. Beatrice groaned and stopped him from moving as she shuffled on the bed. Ram fell silent, not moving. Rem, finally catching up, followed her gaze and was afflicted by her sister’s immobility. 

After a few seconds in which Subaru tried to remember where, who, what and when it was, Ram managed to recover her wits. “I see. I am not interested in knowing how much you have enjoyed your frolicking, Barusu, so get up and get ready for work, there’s breakfast to be made.”

“What…are the cooks undisposed?” Muttered Subaru as he tried, and failed, to pull her hands up to rub his eyes. “And why would the rege…” The blurriness finally went away and his stopped mind gears started their movement again. His eyes went to his still empty wrist, not finding a clock to check his hour.

“Eight ten in the morning. Get up.” Ram crossed his arms as Subaru froze up.

“My deepest apologies for my tardiness, I…” Subaru finally saw his position and hesitated, not knowing how to free himself from the Great Spirit without disturbing her sleep. His worries proved unfounded as Beatrice finally left her faked sleep.

Beatrice shuffled again and, after rubbing them, opened her eyes. “What is it, I suppose?”

“Your contractor was due for work two hours and ten minutes ago, Great Spirit.” Her glare was joined by Rem’s.

“Subaru-kun, while I understand resting from overwork, there really should have been a warning.” Her previous forgiveness was gone.

“That’s it, in fact?” Beatrice blinked and yawned. “Let us return to bed, chosen of mine, the sun is still low enough, I suppose.”

“...Beako, what did I tell you?”

Beatrice sighed. Letting go of his hands, she stretched on the bed. “If you will refuse Betty’s gifts there’s nothing to be discussed, in fact. Let us start today, I suppose.”

Subaru nodded. “If you will let me have a few minutes…”

Ram rolled her eyes. “Then keep fondling the Great Spirit. We will be doing your work.” Her tone angered, she slammed the door shut.

Subaru sighed. ‘Is a loop necessary?’ His eyes went to Beatrice, still stretching on the bed. Shaking his head he left that thought and went to the bath. He did not think he could stomach a tearful face on her so soon.

A quick shower and he found himself in front of the mirror again. His bags lessened, he moved his head from side to side, checking his apathetic face. As he started his small exercises Beatrice, curious of what he was doing over there, hugged him from the back and stared at the mirror. “What are you doing, I suppose?”

“Practising facial expressions.” Was the dry reply.

“Huh?” Blinking twice, Beatrice realised he was being serious. A wave of her hand and the mirror was covered in the shadows of Shamak. “What foolishness are you spouting so soon in the morning, in fact?”

Subaru, a bit startled, turned to her with faked surprise. “Why would you cover the mirror?”

Beatrice backed a bit away and grabbed his chin. “Because the mirror is unnecessary. Should you need practise with them I will gladly help.”

Subaru mirrored her confused blinking of before. “But…the mirror is right there? Why would you…”

“It would make me happy, in fact.”

Subaru sighed, this one real. “Fine, we have wasted enough morning as it is already. Just…tell me if something feels off-putting.”

Beatrice smirked a bit, her eyes glinting. “The thing I see is my chosen one, he could never feel off-putting I suppose. And,” Her tone turned into a low purr. “, that smile is better than the one in the mirror, in fact.” 

…

A readied Subaru in a butler’s uniform, as Otto had yet to come with a new suit for him, excelled in the kitchen. With practised movements he readied the vegetables and fruits the manor would be having for breakfast. Subaru’s focused gaze was on the peeling skin, every move of the knife as perfect as his human hands could allow him, knowing the Emilia camp deserved nothing but the best food he could manage to make. And today was looking like he would need no extra loops for it.

Next to him, Rem was brewing tea and other morning brews. Behind, a seated Ram with a Beatrice on the other side of the counter, were still throwing accusations to each other.

“...no matter what you say, Great Spirit, Barusu there, as unreliable as we know he is, is still expected to do his job.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes, her hands on her cup of tea, halfway drunk. “To hear the oni maid incapable of doing proper household tasks speak about reliability is as grating as ever, in fact.” Her eyes turned up and challenged Ram’s irate glare. “The only mandate my contractor has is our contract. Your measly complaints are but the whinings of a child rabid at having to do her own work, I suppose.”

Ram crossed her arms. “Oh, my apologies. I had not been informed that knight Natsuki Subaru, bound to both Lady Emilia and Lord Roswaal with the chains of servitude, had no other earthly obligations apart from you. Neither did I know that your contract includes nightly debauchery yet I guess it is as expected from the Great Spirit of the Forbidden Library. You truly are out of normalcy.” Ram’s words had been filled with poison yet her hand accepted the cup of tea brewed by Rem.

Beatrice straightened a bit. Her smirk widened yet her eyes glinted, a new edge to them. “Indeed. And you should do well to remember it, hornless oni, for our contract transcends those obligations.” She shuffled the cup a bit, the surface of the liquid reflecting the orange light of her inhuman eyes. “There’s no normalcy to be had, in fact. And, also, shouldn’t you be helping with breakfast too? Oh, right, Betty had forgotten that you can only peel tatoes, I suppose.”

Ram’s knuckles whitened with the force she was grabbing her cup. “I would retort with a quip of my own, Great Spirit, but comparing you to those vegetables would be a disservice to them.”

“Who are you calling a tatoe head, in fact!?” Beatrice’s cup started to tremble before a small, badly contained snicker came from the kitchen. 

Both mages turned to see Subaru, trembling hands and doubling over from pure, honest laughter. Rem, startled, almost dropped her own cup. If it had been a manic cackle out of a sudden mental breakdown they would have been less surprised. Instead, it was just a pure, uncontained laughter out of joy as the black-haired man tried to stop himself, hands on his stomach.

“Was it that funny?” Muttered Rem to no one in particular.

Meanwhile, Ram and Beatrice lost their previous rage. Ram’s hands unclenched while a small smile tried to break through. His healthier gaze, his normal tone, she had never expected to see him this open. The sight tugged a bit at her heart. “That’s…a good smile.” Whispered Beatrice, having forgotten all about Ram, her sharp gaze memorising the sight in front.

Wiping the small tears of his eyes, Subaru struggled to breathe and arm a proper answer. “I…my honest apologies. I…” As he looked back, Subaru fell silent as he looked over the three people in front. A freed Beatrice, an easy going Ram, an awoke Rem. “I just…” He blinked, the mass of sudden feelings morphing. Tears started to fall again. “I still can’t really believe it. Are…are you really real?” He had never expected to see this sight nor had he had enough time to come to terms with it. They just…talking, arguing, enjoying their morning. 

Ram nodded, tenderness in her gaze.

“I doubt there’s a dream that could equal Betty, in fact.”

“Rem is here, yes.”

Subaru lowered his head. “I’m…glad.” Sniffing, he grabbed a handkerchief and cleansed his tears, a melancholic smile having bloomed. “Truly.” Blinking, he quickly pushed the expression away. “My regrets from the sudden shift in atmosphere.” Tilting his head, he stared at Beatrice. “But no, I do not see the resemblance.”

Beatrice turned triumphantly towards Ram, allowing his contractor the out he had chosen. “See, in fact?”

Ram rolled her eyes, for once willing to let the matter drop. “Leave it to Barusu to be wrong in even the smallest of opinions.”

“I can kind of see it. Sister is right.” Rem interjected.

“What are you seeing, in fact?!”

………

Having just come back from tutoring Emilia on today’s topics, Subaru entered his study. Pulling the Conversation Mirror that he had asked Otto to lend him, he rested it on the table. Right now, he had no information nor tips to give as the operation would be carried out in the evening. Sitting on his chair, he looked over the work still to be done. His eyes traced the blueprint that his kingdom had spent decades perfecting. A train. His fingers traced the paper, fearing how it would turn out this time. 

Behind it, half a dozen blueprints were still being worked on. All of them had brought chaos and wide opposition. His fingers hammered on the table. A name that once he had neglected as insignificant and had paid the consequences for sprung up on his mind. Anastasia. He frowned and reclined on his chair. ‘Shelve the resentments and the philosophy, focus on progress.’ With her help he maybe could push the merchant guilds from enemies into ardent supporters but that would mean losing control over the ghostly inventions and for the other countries to be able to integrate them. His frown gained anger. Vollachia had not been able to until late in his reign but, if it started earlier…

His Invisible Providence started to work. He crossed his arms and continued to stare at the papers. No matter how much he tried, he could not calculate all possible deviations from just a wooden chair. The decision plainly boiled down to either make them or destroy the designs and advance forward slow and steady. Subaru shuffled. It really was not a decision that required haste so he soon returned the blueprints to their folder.

He returned his attention towards today’s work. Ram’s treatment. Even if he remembered it perfectly, he would leave no opening to chance. Tomorrow and the day after he would go out for the materials.

…

Roswaal clapped his hands again during lunch. “Oh, right. I had forgotten about something.” His smiling face turned to Subaru as he was feeding Beatrice grapes. Frederica and Garfiel having finished earlier were gone from the table.

“Out with it, clown.” Subaru didn’t look at him, focused on his work. Beatrice side-eyed him, angry at the interruption.

“Now that we need to hold your knighting ceremony, you need a proper knight’s uniform, don’t you?” His bright smile creeped Subaru out. 

“...Against my best wishes, you are right.”

At that Roswaal faked a happy laugh. “Sometimes even the Fool tells the truth. So, why don’t you make a short trip to the capital? I am certain both Rem and Ram would enjoy the little trip.”

Subaru frowned, not knowing what aim Roswaal was playing towards. “...No need, I will simply repurpose some of the uniforms in the manor.”

“Then they will be even more helpful.” Roswaal’s smile wavered not. 

“I would be glad to help, Subaru-kun!”

Ram clicked her tongue. “If that is Roswaal-sama’s will, I will personally craft you your clothes.”

After a few seconds, the black haired man nodded reticently, his gaze still on the clown. Beatrice readjusted herself on his lap, her nod sentencing further his position. “If that is your duty your Great Spirit will be more than glad to help, in fact.”

“Can I join in? It sounds fun!” Added Emilia while Petra nodded.

“Wouldn’t it be best to leave the people capable of doing the work to act at their own pace?” Interjected Roswaal.

“It will be good training for Petra but…” His glare turned to Emilia, who stiffened. “Someone has to redo her work of today.”

Looking away, Emilia put her hands together. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing to apologise for, Lady Emilia, but your studies come first. A Royal candidate must stay sharp.” His toneless tone softened just a bit. “And mistakes build us….”

Roswaal cut him off with a loud clap. “Then it is decided! The maids will help our future knight with his preparations!”

Subaru growled at being interrupted by the Fool but let it go. Beatrice, on his lap, snickered at his expression.

…

Ram, entering last, looked around the room again. It was as empty as always, or almost, a new pot with two flowers on a nightstand. The Great Spirit, already lying on the bed, was silently reading her book. Three chairs had been brought in case they wanted them but Subaru, uncaring for the painful position, was seated on the ground, his normal hands having already started.

Petra looked around before Subaru’s words were directed at her. “You should sit besides me and miss Rem, miss Petra.” Quick to nod, she followed his instructions as both of them started to work.

Rem, on her chair, was well advanced into her work, even if her eyes started to deviate to the young child as she joined in. Her pointers and tips, while less precise than the dry ones from Subaru, were to the point even if kind with her mistakes.

Ram, with nothing to do, sat on her chair and placed her head on her right hand, observing their work as minutes started to pass. Getting bored after half an hour of mostly silence, Ram started, “So, Barusu, how come you know how to sew?” 

“....” No reply came as Subaru’s movements stopped. “I…believe my father taught me.” Came the not at all confident reply, a part of him believing it simply to be true. As if it couldn’t be otherwise.

At that Ram frowned. “You talk about it as if you have forgotten.”

“That is because I have, miss Ram.” His tone held no regret not intonation. The three maids stopped their movements and Beatrice tensed up a bit. “As I have said before, I am unable to recall much from my earlier years.”

“But aren’t you younger than us?” Muttered Rem, her hand patting a now worried Petra.

Subaru raised an eyebrow, hands never stopping their work. “As I have said before too, my skin care…”

“No more jokes, Barusu. Answer.” Ram’s tone left no room for any more dodges nor tricks to evade the topic. It has been as Roswaal had hinted at.

“There’s nothing to answer, miss Ram. I am physically younger but, as you already know, I am a time traveller. It is a similar case to Lady Emilia’s.” A part of the materials he was working in started to move by themselves as to rearrange them into a better position. “But, while in her case her body grew while her mind was frozen, mine resets to its state during the checkpoint yet my mind still remembers.”

“But…then…how long did you…” Petra whispered now, her mind quickly catching up on what he was implying.

Beatrice looked at him by the corner of her eyes, having a bigger sighting of the whole picture. Rem, on the other hand, shuffled on her chair, her hands now resuming their work at a way slower speed than before.

“I believe saying much more could prove dangerous due to my penalty.” Subaru stopped his hands and inspected his work with methodical care. “Any more questions?”

“What do you remember from your own past?” Came Ram’s.

Subaru tensed up slightly. “...I have a good enough recollection of what I have lived through so I will…”

“How were your parents named?”

“That’s not really relevant now, is it?”

“How old are you exactly?”

“As miss Rem said, I am younger than…”

“When were you born? Where?”