Chapter Text
Harry woke up in the morning slightly disoriented, and a little off balance. He tried to shake off the unsettling irritation, but felt as if he’d swallowed an elephant, as though his entire body had grown heavier overnight. Rubbing his eyes, he put his glasses on and noticed his body in his peripheral vision. He had to close his eyes again just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming before bravely opening them again. He attempted to leave the bed, but as he wasn’t used to his old body for the past week, his centre was off, and ended up tangled in the sheets on the floor.
He heard a snore, his head snapping towards the sound. He forgot that he shared a room with Ron. He relaxed as he realised that Ron was a heavy sleeper and there was very little that would wake him.
Taking a deep breath, he returned his attention to his current problem. If this was really his body, then he should get reconnected with it quite easily. He just had to go and check himself in a mirror if this was really the case. For a second, he imagined having his adult body paired with his teenaged head and shuddered. Wondering where he saw a mirror in this house, he could have slapped himself. What was it about him and his lack of focus? He conjured a mirror and took a look at himself. He was lucky he slept naked, or his body would have ripped his pyjamas off in his sleep. Even Dudley’s old clothes had a limit when it came to a ripped, adult body of a man.
This quick change also put some things into perspective for him. He had come a long way from a scrawny little boy to a healthy-looking man. All it had required was a healthier lifestyle; a safer environment and a contented mind.
For the most part, he was happy to see himself again. Despite the necessity to keep up appearances, he had a feeling this would help him in the long run. Image mattered to most people and perhaps now, the Order would take him more seriously. After all, it was better to follow an adult than a fifteen-year-old boy.
He decided to do some exercise. Muscle memory was the best course for getting himself back on track. He struggled for the first few minutes, before he let his body take over and stopped thinking about it too much. Soon, he was back in a familiar territory and things were a breeze again.
After the workout, he needed a shower. Unwilling to strut naked through the house, he wrapped a bed sheet around himself and left his room. This was why he chose the master bedroom to sleep in later on; it had an en-suite bathroom.
Slowly and noiselessly making his way through the house, he congratulated himself on knowing every squeaky floorboard, every groan the house emitted as he headed towards this destination.
Well, almost. Before he could disappear into the bathroom, he was hit by a spell and forced against the wall. He swore internally, his instincts were better than that. Not many people were successful in sneaking up on him.
“Potter?”
Snape. Of course. Harry smiled inside. Very few people were in an ‘attack first, ask questions later’ mode when it came to a possible intruder.
“Yeah, it hit me overnight.”
“You’re not wearing the glamour.”
“Nope. Can you release me?” he asked and watched as the man’s eyes widened as he took in the situation. Severus was standing in Harry’s personal space and was effectively blocking his exit. He stepped back as if burnt and released the spell. Harry felt oddly on display with the other man fully clad and himself only in a bedsheet. But for some bizarre reason it filled him with such power and confidence that he didn’t want their exchange to end. “So what brings you here so early?”
Snape avoided the question altogether and growled in irritation. “Weren’t you on your way somewhere?”
Harry laughed, a deep resonant sound that he missed, all the boyishness gone and he finally felt more on an equal footing with the man in front of him. “Yes, the bathroom, I feel like I haven’t had a proper shower, not sure why. Could be this whole change.” He grew pensive. “Do you think I should glamour myself? Not reveal this yet?”
The man’s answer was immediate. “At school, you’ll have to. Are you able to maintain your teenage form for a longer period of time?”
“Yeah, I had to learn, otherwise my work would be compromised.”
“Then I suggest you use the glamour. Let’s reveal your current state later as a tactical advantage or if needed, to drive a point.”
Harry nodded. He wouldn’t have to make a decision yet and it might come in handy. “Alright, sounds logical.”
“Now, Potter!”
Harry startled a little. The man was out of sorts for some reason. He made a mental note to ask him later as he glamoured himself. Severus sighed… in relief? What the hell was going on? Harry frowned. “Are you alright?”
“Just scatter along, Harry.”
“On my way. You’ll be here for a while, right? Let’s talk later?”
Snape nodded and left in a brisk pace, Harry looking after him for a moment, before heading for the shower. What was wrong with him?
Harry cancelled the glamour before stepping into the hot spray. The water heated his skin, loosening his sore muscles. He felt as if he had the energy to conquer the world. He loved taking showers. There was never any need to rush. No one was bothering him there and he always used his five minutes to fully recharge.
Back in his room he was faced with one problem. He had no clothes for his current self. None of the adults present had a similar figure to his, so he would have to go shopping for something. Or he could take his measurements, send them to Madam Malkin’s and order everything. Yes, that was the best way to do it. In the meantime, he would have to deal with his transfigured clothes. He grimaced. They always itched.
Having finished everything, he made sure his glamour was firmly in place before heading downstairs to the kitchen for something to eat. As he got closer, he could make out angry voices and frowned. Sirius and Severus again? Harry was pissed. Wasn’t it just yesterday when his godfather swore he was on board?
“—fucking student!”
“As much as I hate repeating myself, Black, Potter is thirty-six—”
“He looks fifteen! I knew you were bent, but I had no idea you were a paedophile!”
There was silence, except for the ringing in Harry’s ears and the voice inside his head, which screamed, ‘WHAT?’
He could almost hear the sneer in Snape’s answer.
“Potter was right, Black, you should have listened to him when he said that you should never speak of things of which you have no knowledge of,” he parroted Harry’s words from earlier, word for word. Goddamn, the man was amazing!
“And I suppose you know everything?”
“He actually does,” Harry said, finally entering the room, having had enough of this. “Sirius, why can’t you back off?”
“Harry, you don’t understand this twisted bastard like I do.”
“I told you not to insult him in my presence again!”
“Potter, leave it—”
“No!” he shouted, turning to Snape. “What is he accusing you of this time?”
The man took a deep breath but before he could say anything, Sirius beat him to it. “He wants to possess you, just like he wanted Lily!”
Snape’s face burned red, but Harry looked at Sirius incredulously. “Do you even know what you’re saying?”
He could see that his godfather thought he had the upper hand now, because the anger was gone. “Harry, I told you that Snape was obsessed with her, thinking he owned her. He even called her a—”
“Don’t!” Harry barked, cutting him off. “You don’t know anything at all, Sirius. Tell me, was my mother weak? Did you think he had her under Imperius, too? Do you think that she would willingly spend time with him if she thought he was all bad?” He watched as the cockiness slowly drained from his godfather’s expression.
“You act like you like him yourself!”
“So what if I do?” He heard Snape’s sharp intake of breath, but ignored it for the time being to focus on his own feelings. Did he? Yes, his brain supplied immediately. Was that why he was so taken with him? Why he wanted to be constantly around him?
Harry turned to look at Snape, his eyes searching the man’s face, unsure of what he was looking for. He was an adult, for crying out loud! But this was still Snape.
“I wouldn’t mind it if he was right,” Harry said softly.
Snape’s eyes narrowed.
“Have you lost your bloody mind?!” Sirius bellowed.
Harry took one good look at him, assessing the situation, before turning back to Snape. “Would you like to go for a walk with me?”
“NO!”
But Harry couldn’t care less about what Sirius thought. Not anymore. Not wanting to cancel the glamour in front of him just yet, he Disillusioned himself from Muggles before it would be safe to reveal himself and walked past Severus, hoping he would follow.
He strode out of the house into the less frequented part of the neighbourhood.
“Get dressed or you’ll catch a cold.”
Harry slowed down, cancelled the Disillusionment Charm as well as the glamour, and put on the coat. It was slightly bigger than he was, but very warm.
“Whose is it?”
“Moody’s. He forgot it once and then thought someone altered it so he never touched it again.”
“Thank you.”
They walked in amicable silence, before Snape broke it. “I thought riling Black was more on my agenda than yours.”
Harry smiled. “He’s just as biassed and prejudiced as you are. I understand why you two don’t get along, but at least you’re able to overlook it when something else comes into the picture.” Then Harry continued, answering the question that Severus didn’t ask. “But I wasn’t riling him. I do care about you. And if he can’t get his head out of his arse, that’s his problem, not mine. He doesn’t realise that I’m an adult, someone who didn’t have much of a parental figure when growing up, so if he can’t accept my choices of friends or, dare I say, lovers, then we don’t have to see each other, even if it will hurt me.
“The only thing I don’t know yet is where you see yourself,” Harry said, glancing at the man walking next to him. “You don’t have to answer right away,” he added, when Snape still hadn’t spoken, “it’s just something to consider. Also, just so we avoid any misunderstandings, I am open to a relationship and I don’t do casual fucks.”
They walked side by side for a couple of minutes before Snape spoke. “You must understand that I have to ask why. If you are familiar with my past as well as you claim to be, you must be aware that I am ill-fitted for any sort of relationship.”
Harry didn’t reply right away, swallowing the immediate denial that was trying to force its way out. Severus was right and so was Sirius. Snape was possessive and opportunistic. But the fact that he didn’t immediately say yes to Harry’s suggestion could mean he was as invested in this as Harry was, not to mention very self-aware. While that would still mean that Snape would be possessive, he might also be jealous if they did end up together.
“I suppose it’s a good thing that I’ve never had anyone who wanted me just for me.”
Snape scoffed. “You must have had plenty of relationships.”
“Not as many as you might think. I tried to date in the wizarding world first, but I hit the headlines so many times it sickened me. Everywhere we would go, the paparazzi were already there. When I suggested going out into the Muggle world, the guy almost flipped. A good thing, though, because it revealed a very ugly part of him.
“After that, I decided to date Muggles. It was a compromise between having a relationship and not being harassed at every corner, but it also meant keeping a part of myself a secret. At first it worked, but then it became harder to ignore. I broke up with the last guy two years ago.”
“So there is nobody you would look at now, lamenting what you will never have again?”
Harry laughed. “No. No lost loves, no pining of any kind.”
“You will be disappointed.”
Harry felt for his arm, stroking it over the heavy winter coat down his forearm where the Dark Mark was hidden, before interlacing their fingers together. “Somehow I doubt it,” he said gently, smiling.
Snape harrumphed, but squeezed his hand before releasing it from their grasp and Harry grinned.
The walk was pleasant and Harry was loath to interrupt it, but there was so much he wanted to share. “I don’t know if I can go through school again.”
“I’m sure you won’t have to.” Harry looked at him with surprise. “If your magic made its way here and you are technically a second Head Auror, I can only surmise that it is registered with the Ministry together with everything else, like your NEWTs. You already said that you have a Mastery in Defence. I’m sure Albus would employ you as the Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor if you found yourself at loose ends.”
“You wouldn’t mind working with me? Having me constantly around you?”
“As Black said, I am a possessive man.”
“It’s lucky that I’m not a pushover.”
“This will likely to be a highly combustible relationship.”
“All the better for the make-up sex,” Harry said, winking at the man. Snape’s gaze seemed to burn into his for the few seconds they made eye contact. “You’re intense, I like that about you,” Harry added.
“Those who play with fire will get easily burnt.”
“And yet, they still do it. Come on, Severus. Don’t sell yourself short. I know everything there is to know about your character. If you have any quirks or weird kinks, I’m sure, I’ll manage. Maybe I’m not good enough for you, have you thought about that?”
“I find that hard to believe. You’re the epitome of everything that is good and pure.”
“Not after the war, I'm not. The nightmares still plague me occasionally and I sleep with my wand under the pillow because I haven’t felt safe ever since. You, on the other hand, make me feel safe. I was a little confused at first, because I’m used to being on alert almost every minute, taking control of any situation, but not with you. At least not to such an extent.”
They passed a couple of children making snow angels and Harry envied them their carefree attitude. He would do anything to ensure they would not be marked by a war.
“The nightmares subside, but they never fully leave.”
Harry looked at Snape sadly and brushed their fingers together before entwining them again when he encountered no objection. “I know. But I could make sure the rest of my life is filled with happy memories that will help me get through them.”
“Why are you so adamant you will create some with me?”
Harry stopped in front of Snape, squeezing the hand linked with his, placing the other one on his chest, craving contact even through all the winter clothing.
“Because you're you.” He could see his words had no effect and struggled to come up with a valid explanation that would convince the man. “You still don't understand. When you were Headmaster, I could see it took a great toll on you. You were haggard, at the end of your strength, driven by a sense of hope that everything you were doing had a purpose, that it wasn't all in vain. All I want to do now is to go back in time to that moment, take you into my arms and tell you how wonderful you are for holding all of that together, to tell you how brave you are for doing all of it and more.” He didn't let go of their linked hands but moved his other arm around Snape's waist to press them together.
This close, he was thrilled about the fact that Severus had to tilt his head back a little to maintain eye contact.
“Consider it accomplished,” Severus said, his tone taking on an almost reverent quality.
They moved closer, Harry's mouth only a breath away from Snape’s. Harry slowly closed the distance, meeting the other man's mouth in a chaste, but sweet kiss. Snape’s lips, at first cold to the touch, warmed up very quickly, and Harry couldn’t help it as he pressed harder against them, making them yield under his own, as if he wanted them both to blend together, turning the kiss into a passionate dance. The possibilities that this kiss initiated were endless and to be able to show Severus affection in this way was exhilarating.
Severus broke off the kiss, his expression unfocused, dazed, and Harry couldn’t help but smile. It was clear he was not used to any of this.
They walked back to the house in silence, content in each other’s company, until Harry caressed Severus’s cheek before taking off the coat and putting on the glamour.
He watched as Snape grimaced and asked, “What?” Disillusioning himself again, he waited for the man’s reply.
“It is difficult to maintain these thoughts about you while you're in your fifteen-year-old self.”
“Oh, sorry,” he said sheepishly.
They entered the house and heard a small commotion from the kitchen. Harry’s features hardened because he simply knew it was about them. Merlin knew what lies Sirius was spreading while they were gone.
What surprised him, however, was Kingsley Shacklebolt amidst the Weasleys and Lupin.
“And for the last time, Sirius, Harry Potter is an adult, recognised by magic, therefore recognised by the Ministry as well! You cannot invoke your guardian’s rights!”
“What guardian’s rights?” Harry interrupted.
Everyone turned to face him and Snape when they entered the room.
“Harry, you’re back!” Mrs Weasley cried. “Would you like—?”
“There’s no way you want to be with him!” Sirius shouted, walking around Kingsley and approaching him. “I don’t buy into this newfound friendship or whatever you’re calling it! He—” he pointed at Snape, “has you under some sort of spell. All this crap about being older is his doing! He’s working for Volde—”
“Don’t,” Severus said, putting his hand on Harry’s shoulder, grabbing it hard. “You will only make it worse.”
“DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM!”
Harry was watching his godfather with disdain. He understood now how he got himself killed. All the assumptions, all the bad decisions, thinking that he knew more than everyone else. He wondered what that said about his dad.
“Kingsley, you said I am legally an adult?”
“Yes, and you’re also a Head Auror, which we need to fix.”
“That’s alright, I’ll renounce my title or resign, whatever is easier. I was thinking I might do something else anyway. Are my NEWTs registered?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I could take a sabbatical, the position is draining.”
“That’s what Scrimgeour says,” Kingsley said in good humour.
“You plan on dropping out of school?”
Harry turned to Sirius. “It’s not dropping out of school if I’ve already graduated. At least I can focus on eliminating the Dark Lord and not worry about having to deal with classes at the same time.”
“I will not allow that.”
“Maybe you should show him,” Severus said gently.
“Stay out of this, Snivellus.”
“I’ve had enough!” Harry shouted. “He’s my partner, Sirius, get used to it. If you plan on causing trouble, I will deal with it. I have never allowed anyone such disrespect before and I don’t plan on it now. It appears you go only by appearances, so here you are.”
Harry cancelled the glamour and he could hear several gasps around the room, including two sets of catcalls. Harry grinned in the direction of the twins before facing his godfather again. “This happened overnight and this is who I’ve grown into. I am not a child anymore, Sirius, I am a capable man, who can stand his own ground, thankyouverymuch.”
“You’re not my Harry,” Sirius said gravely.
“No,” he replied gently. “I am my own person. I’m not my father, I’m not my mother, I’m me. And I make my own choices, including Severus. So don’t you dare insult him ever again.”
Sirius loomed over him, anger visible in every line of his face. “This is not over.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m warning you, if this escalates, I will take appropriate action.”
“He isn’t worth it!”
“For now, you’re showing me that you are not worth it, Sirius.”
It was as if he physically slapped his godfather, judging by the way he recoiled from him. “You don’t mean that.”
“You’re not giving me another choice now, are you?”
“He’ll ruin you.”
“Whatever,” he said dismissively and wound his arm around Snape’s waist. Who stiffened next to him. “Not okay?” Harry asked softly.
Severus shook his head. “Simply not used to such gestures.”
Harry smiled at him. “Maybe tell me where you draw a line, I’m very demonstrative with people I care about.”
“Harry,” Mrs Weasley interjected, before anyone else could jump in. Sirius threw one last hateful look at them and left, shrugging off Lupin’s calming touch. “Is that a new development with Severus here or are you continuing your relationship from your future…?”
“No, Molly, this is new.”
She seemed relieved, but Harry just rolled his eyes. “Does anyone want to add anything else?”
“Only congratulations, Harry,” Lupin said. “Both of you deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you, Remus,” he said gratefully. “That means a lot.”
“Severus,” Remus said, extending his hand to him.
“Lupin,” Snape replied, shaking the proffered hand.
Harry’s stomach chose that time to grumble. “Er, I’m a little hungry, can I have some breakfast?”
That seemed to have broken any remaining tension. Mrs Weasley gave him the leftovers from breakfast that everyone else already had while he and Severus were out on a walk. Harry gratefully dug in, happy that Severus joined him. Others sat down next to them, either just talking or drinking coffee or tea.
Harry knew he was a bit harsh with his godfather, but if there was one thing he hated from his teenage years, it was the lack of faith shown in him, and the lack of respect for his decisions. He had done quite well for himself and he was intent on continuing on that course. He just hoped that Sirius would come around. Although, he was a little bit worried as to what would have to happen first in order for him to change his mind.