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+1. Mars and Venus?
“So now I’m wondering if I made a mistake saying no to Aphrodite”, Jupiter interrupts with “Venus” while giving a pointed look, “because I was scared of getting. . . hurt.” Looking up, Jupiter seems to have a thoughtful face with his eyes not quite looking at one area and his brows are furrowed. Moments later he reaches some sort of conclusion as he spares one last look before questioning, “And separating Venus into two people?”
I frown with disbelief at the stupidity of the question. “I don’t need to spell it out to you.” From the stare he gives me, Jupiter can also hear the smartest-planet-in-the-Solar-System comment that was left unsaid.
Jupiter heaves the biggest sigh I’ve heard all conversation as he takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes, letting a few diamonds fall from them due to the pressure. “If you feel as if you need to tell Venus about your feelings, what’s stopping you?”
“I-! Look, Venus doesn’t-.”
“Is it guilt, Mars? Is your love misplaced or a burden you want to get rid of?”
“JUPITER! Venus, Venus does NOT need to- to hear about this.”
“This?”
“Yes, Jupiter this.”
Jupiter’s eye brow raises. Almost as if all my problems would be solved if I just admitted to myself that-
“Ugh, MY-.” I turn abruptly as I hear Phobos yelling my name with all his willpower. He practically crashes into me once he reaches me, Deimos just a few meters behind him.
“Venus wants to talk to yoouuu!!” And sure enough, Venus trails patiently behind the hyperactive duo. I can’t quite see his face but either way my core starts to pulsate so fast that I might develop planetary tremors and volcanic eruptions.
“Talk with him. You might even realize what you’re hiding from yourself.” I glare long and hard at Jupiter, turning over his whispered words in my mind. I continue to glare even after he has traveled to the outer reaches of his orbit towards Saturn. Eventually, Venus makes it close enough to me that I can’t ponder any longer.
I close my eyes briefly, squeezing my little ones closer to me before I tell them how nice it was of them to show Venus where I was. A, “we know!”, is closely followed by a, “of course, we are very nice.” I pat their heads feeling that something is off about one of them.
I give them a full once over and I frown when I see a crater that wasn’t on Deimos before they left to play asteroid dodgeball. “Did-did you guys get hurt?” I reach out towards Deimos again to see if he flinches but is trying to “act courageous”. While also looking over Phobos a second time in case I missed something.
Surprisingly, they let me.
“. . .yeah.” They’re not even lying. Something's up.
“But! Venus helped us.” Deimos explains while hugging my hand, a quiet reassurance. Phobos also interjects with, “Yeah, he made us all better!” I take in their genuine happiness and look at Venus for confirmation.
Our eyes meet and it seems as if the stars have exploded leaving a blank void behind. Venus looks. . .embarrassed. Maybe. He barely catches my eyes before he is looking away moments later, but those few moments made my core heat up dangerously again.
Maybe. . .I do lo-
Whatever that was is broken with a polite yell from Phobos, “Can we go now?” I cough a little at my actions, trying to compose myself. “Okay just-.”
“Don’t go too faaarrr.” Deimos finishes my sentence, like I've repeated it a hundred times. Which is probably true. They look at each other before giving me the biggest hug they can manage. I feel my eyes well up as a smile breaks onto my face.
Oh atoms, they’re trying to get me all emotional.
“BYE MARS, BYE VENUS!!” They both yell as they run off into the asteroid belt.
I smile fondly as I watch them leave, Venus meanwhile seems the most nervous I’ve ever seen him.
He’s not even looking at me.
“Deimos insisted he wanted to keep the crater, so he only let me heal him superficially.” For a second I had to reorient myself as Venus blurted out words and they practically tumbled over themselves. “I didn’t, like, do that because I don’t care about him. I just don’t want you to think I favored one over the other.”
“I know, Venus.”
“Soo. . ..” He trails off and falls quiet again which sort of puts me on edge as his demeanor is making me believe that there were a few more details Phobos and Deimos forgot to tell me. Either way, I can’t assume it’s anything bad or even about my moons as the fight with Earth also just happened. And Earth said a lot of distasteful things about Venus and the moons, which must have stuck with him now that I’m thinking about it.
“Venus.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Thank you,” Venus seems genuinely taken aback by my reply. Well I’ll be an exoplanet, Earth’s words really affected him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Venus stares at me for a moment before shaking his head slightly, and continues his staredown with the black void of space. I look around a few times before I clear my throat. The sound gets Venus’s attention. “If you don’t want to talk about Earth, then what are you here for? And please don’t make me guess.” Venus laughs a little and takes in a breath.
“It’s stupid really. But I guess, well, do you remember anything before Earth gained plants and stuff?”
“Yeah. Like when he only had water or are we also including the little microorganisms?”
And Venus just stares. He stares with the weirdest smile on his face, like he’s - no, he’s most definitely judging me.
“Uhh, do you really pay that much attention to Earth?”
“NO.” I say way too quickly. “No I don’t, I-I just have a closer orbit and I got really bored most days. Don’t judge me.” If I was an Earthling I would be redder than my surface.
“Can’t keep that promise.” Venus smiles at me, way to smug for his own good. But it comforts me until his smile falls away and we’re submerged in silence once again. It stretches until the silence feels like it’s become its own character. Eventually,-
“I’m sorry-” “Do you still-”
We talked over one another. Great.
Silence falls over us again for a long time after that. This is honestly the most awkward I’ve been with Venus, like we have never talked to each other before and we are just waiting for the time to pass so the appropriate amount of small talk ends and we can leave each other be. That is until I realize what Venus said. He was. . .sorry?
“Wait, why are you sorry?”
“I.” He stops himself with a huff, almost like he was frustrated with himself, and before I can stop myself I have his hand in mine. Venus immediately goes still as stone as I break out whatever spell was cast on me. Fillius canis! (He made me swear as well!)
Why can’t I act normally!!
. . .
Is it morally right if I blame my moons for my behaviour?
Before I can spiral any more, Venus softly squeezes my hand and I feel his coarse surface on my own. Which surprisingly has a very good calming effect. I take a moment longer to orient myself in the silence that weirdly no longer feels all consuming.
“I’ve been having a crisis, I guess,” I nod in reassurance and understanding. A part of me is also preparing to break my vow of silence towards Earth if Venus doesn’t want to talk to Earth alone. “You. . . Mars.”
Uh. Does, was that just word gumbo or did he mean I’m the problem?
“Why did you defend me?”
Oh.
The hand that is holding Venus’ starts to create slow ministrations over his wrist. Venus seems to relax slightly and zero in on our hands.
“Because he was using you to prove a point,” A frown draws onto my face and I look away from Venus as I replay my argument with Earth. “And that is a horrible thing to do. He may be my friend but he still needs to learn what’s right and wrong.” I huff in frustration as I remember Earth’s words. Honestly, it’s like he expects the Solar System to actually revolve around him. Moons aren’t less and I’m not a proto-Earth. Venus. . . he’s not-, he’s. . ..
“Plus, Venus, you are. . . beautiful, albeit rude, and you don’t deserve to be torn down to your physical features.”
. . . And silence. Oh no.
I look up and see the same surprised face Venus had when I yelled at Earth. Are his insecurities really that big? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
“Beautiful. . ..” He says it like he doesn’t trust the word’s intentions.
I don’t know why I said that. I, I really shouldn’t be talking to Venus in the first place. And honestly, what did Jupiter mean that this conversation would help me?! I don’t think-
“Mars.”
Venus removes his hand from mine.
“Do you love me?”
I feel my breath quicken and my head goes blank, because that is the question. Jupiter seems to have his own opinions that he refuses to share. Which just leaves me in the same position of being stuck in the unknown.
“I. . . do.”
“Really?”
He sounds so. . . monotone. Or maybe it’s me, and my ears aren’t working due to space seemingly losing all of its noise.
Seriously, why is there no more sound?
This is what I wanted.
I wanted Venus to like me back.
I want Venus.
Or. . ..
“I don’t know how to love you.”
My voice sounds quiet even to my own ears. I would barely think Venus heard me if his face didn’t show a level of resigned understanding. Which just makes everything click into place, and before I know it my mouth is moving involuntarily.
“I. . . I’m stuck in the past. I. . .broke . . . along with Theia. I belatedly realize I have let go of Venus’s hand and taken a step back. “She wasn’t the best but neither was I, we complimented each other in that regard.”
“And, and I’m absolutely terrified of creating another Theia. The same pull that brings me to you, drives me back just as hard.”
Have I been this haunted since the beginning?
This must be what Jupiter saw. Seriously! He couldn’t just tell me that’s what my problem was. That I was misguided!
I look back at Venus and see him looking anywhere but at me. I probably just confirmed his suspicions. Really, did everyone know but me? That I’m a mess stuck on a planet that ruined my life. Theia really can’t rest can she! She just has to create problems even while she’s dead!
I feel resigned. . .
What am I supposed to do?
“Venus-.”
“Here. A compromise.”
He reaches into one of his jacket pockets and pulls my hand towards himself. He takes that object, puts it in my palm then lets go.
“Until the day you find yourself and you stop living in the past, you will wear this earring.”
“But if you find that it can’t be done and that I need to move on: take it off, give it back and we will be friends. After a few millennia.”
“Nod if you understand.”
I nod.
——
When Europa and Ganymede confront us, I have on the earring and belatedly realize Venus has one on too.