Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Text conversation with
jizzaroli

7:17 PM

Fizzaroli
DUDE WTF
first u don’t invite me to your bday and then u blow me off for the monster fuck rally???

Blitzø oh fuck me
the birthday dinner thing was literally just a few of us grabbing cheesesteaks why is everyone acting like it was the fucking event of the year? its just like a dumb IMP tradition

Fizzaroli
whatvr well u better have a good excuse for tonight

Fizzaroli
i take it ur silence means u do not

Blitzø i’m fucking sorry ok! just not feeling up to it

Fizzaroli
suuuuuure 🙄
just admit u want to stay home to get ur dick sucked by the bird prince
i mean we’ve all been there i get it

Blitzø nah stolas is gone

Fizzaroli
oh fuck
wut happened? the horse thing finally push him over the edge?

Blitzø no and also fuck you
he and his daughter had to bounce yesterday
her creepy fiance guy is obsessed with tracking her down and they figure out she was staying here

Fizzaroli
shit
u ok?

Blitzø yeah ill be fine
just not in the mood to come down to lust and watch a bunch of freaks get each other off

Fizzaroli
well ozzy is gonna be busy judging the competition and i don’t really feel like going on my own
wut were u thinking about doing instead

Blitzø probably just staring off into the middle distance and feeling sorry for my pathetic simp ass

Fizzaroli
sounds like a riot
be there in an hour

Blitzø what
don’t come here

Fizzaroli
nope if ur settling in for a good self pity sesh i need a front row seat

Blitzø how about fuck no

Fizzaroli
how about tough shit bitch?
and i’m bringing snackz

Blitzø 🖕
fine
asshole

Fizzaroli
c u soon my sad little baby boy!!!

Sinstagram direct message with
@gothchk17

10:34 PM

Octavia
Cheer up dad night over here too 😓
Ugh, why are dads like this?

Loona i mean i know why OUR dads are like this

Octavia
And people call me melodramatic! It’s literally been one day, they’re this depressed just cause they can’t bang?

Loona no?

Octavia
No what?

Loona pretty sure they’re depressed because it hurts like a bitch to be apart from your person or whatever

Octavia
Oh that’s right, I forgot they’re in “love”

Loona what you think they’re full of shit?

Octavia
No, I guess if they think they’re in love it’s whatever
It’s just weird seeing my dad so miserable over it now

Loona oh this is nothing

Octavia
What do you mean?

Loona fuck i’m putting my paw in my mouth again
nevermind

Octavia
Just tell me!
I need everyone to stop treating me like a little baby nestling who can’t handle getting her precious feelings hurt

Loona ok fine
you think your dad is soooo upset now being away from blitz but that is nothing compared to how much he fell apart when YOU told him to fuck off after the fight on sinsmas
i have never seen anyone more pathetic and broken than your dad after you locked him out. and that’s saying something, my dad is fucking blitz

Octavia
I am sorry I hurt him. But I was hurt too, okay? I’ve never felt that kind of pain before in my life
I had just spent like a year begging him to pay attention to me for just one fucking second. But the only thing he cared about was screwing over my mum and hooking up with his new “secret” lover. And then I had to watch him almost die because it turns out he and his lover were doing a bunch of illegal shit!!
At that point it was pretty fucking clear the dad I knew was just a lie, it was all just a stupid game he got tired of playing once I was apparently old enough to not need him. My bad, guess I shouldn’t have thought he loved me. Definitely not as much as he loves whatever this weird kinky thing is he has with Blitz

Loona that’s not fair, that’s not the whole fucking story
and he so obviously loves you. like A LOT. i don’t think that has anything to do with blitz, you can’t pit how much someone loves you against how much they love someone else. it’s just not how love works. and that’s coming from me, someone who wouldn’t know love if it shit in my coffee

Octavia
Then how DO you know he actually cares? What makes you such an expert?

Loona it doesn’t take an expert. just look at how your dad nearly fucking died just to see you on sinsmas when he almost got iced by your freaky uncle
if anyone knows where you’re coming from it’s me. it took me literally years to see all the love that was being shoved in my face thanks to how much my heart had been fucked over in the past
and even i can tell those two are batshit crazy about each other

Octavia
You really think they’re actually in love?

Loona unfortunately yes

Octavia
idk, from what I’ve seen they’re more interested in having sex than anything else

Loona you really think your dad would be this upset over being separate from his fuck buddy? pretty sure they’re not even doing that lately since blitz has been living at the office

Octavia
They’re probably sexting or something gross

Loona so?????
none of that fucking matters, honestly i’d love to never think about our dads getting nasty ever again if i can avoid it
it doesn’t actually affect me. you know what does affect me though? whether or not blitz is happy

Octavia
Yeah well he didn’t leave you behind to be happy

Loona pretty sure your dad didn’t want to leave you
pretty sure that was just a side effect of him getting exiled from his own life after the trial

Octavia
He should’ve thought about that before he threw it all away to be with Blitz

Loona again, you are not in competition with fucking blitz (because I’m pretty sure you’d win) and besides, your dad was saving his literal life

Octavia
What!??? That is NOT what happened
Dad was there because he and Blitz were caught doing some illegal shit with his book. If he told you he was sacrificing himself to save Blitz that’s bullshit

Loona omg! via i was literally there
blitz would be a headless corpse right now if your dad hadn’t shown up and taken the heat
and you should’ve seen blitz when they dragged him out of that court room away from stolas. i’ve never heard him scream like that
it sucks no one told you all this. but you really have to try not to swallow every lie they tell you

Octavia
Why would my mum lie though? I know she has her issues but she’s still my mum

Loona i don’t really know her, but is there any chance it could have something to do with the fact that she hates your dad’s guts?
maybe she’s trying to use you against him

Octavia
You really think so?

Loona if she is it’s working
wasn’t your dad trying to call you like nonstop after the trial?

Octavia
She didn’t think it would be good for me to talk to him. It’s not like he really tried hard to talk to me before that anyway

Loona yeah well I don’t know if your mom is a much better person after she threw you to the wolves with this engagement

Octavia
Well yeah, obviously. Lucky me, turns out both my parents don’t give a shit about me!

Loona what are you even talking about? after everything your dad just did to get you to safety? after he just threw away the new life he’s been working towards to go hide in the woods?

Octavia
It’s just his guilt, he feels bad for leaving me all alone when he went to live with Blitz so he’s trying to make it up to me

Loona I think you need to talk to your dad and stop believing he’s this shitty person you’ve made up in your mind
just fucking look at them right now
you really think the WHOLE reason your dad left you was cause he just wanted to get laid?

Octavia
No, I think he left us because he hated his life
And being in love with Blitz was his way out

Loona why doesn’t your dad deserve to have a life he doesn’t hate?

Octavia
I’m a part of the life he hated

Loona or you were the only good part
and aren’t YOU happier since leaving home?

Octavia
That’s different. I had to leave to escape being married to an asshole

Loona yeah sounds real different

Text conversation with
Blitzy ❤️

8:24 AM

Stolas Please tell me why the hell there are caterpillars on every surface here.

Blitzø
what you never had caterpillars in your garden?

Stolas Not like this! They’re everywhere, I found two in my sleeping bag when I woke up this morning.

Blitzø
lucky bugs

Stolas I squashed them Blitz.

Blitzø
but what a way to go

Stolas They bled GREEN.

Blitzø
lmao that’s sick
don’t birds eat bugs?

Stolas I beg your pardon?

Blitzø
oh that’s right i forgot your refined palette 🤌

Stolas Growing less refined by the day.

Blitzø
but not quite at eat free range caterpillar level yet?

Stolas …no.

Blitzø
you actually just considered it, didn’t you

Stolas Only a little.
Especially after what Via brought back from her walk to the gas store this morning. Sorry, I didn’t realize how good the food at your place actually was.

Blitzø
we can just portal some stuff to you

Stolas That’s sweet, but shouldn’t we try to keep the portals to a minimum to be safe?

Blitzø
yeah yeah

10:11 AM

Blitzø
maybe i should just kill altair after all

Stolas Blitz…

Blitzø
you know i could snap his hollow bird bones like a twig

Stolas Until he opens up a hellhole and you’re burned alive in magma.

Blitzø
nah
i’m a slippery bitch

Stolas Well that I can’t argue with.
But seriously don’t.

Blitzø
fine but i can dream

Stolas 😂 Okay, that is pretty convincing!

Blitzø
oh and i herd about another hot little sex book hitting the shelves btw

Stolas Now this one I very much need! 😂
Thank you for these masterpieces.

Blitzø
i miss hearing your laugh
fuck that sounded dumb it hasn’t even been two days

Stolas No! It's sweet!
I’ll call you later so you can make me laugh then. Via is sleeping in right now though.

Blitzø
how is she? loona said they sorta had a fight but she won’t tell me about what

Stolas I might know.
Via and I had a very long, very overdue talk last night. She seems really confused with how to feel about everything. Mostly about me. And you.

Blitzø
shit

Stolas I think Loona was trying to help her sort through the lies she’s been fed. But it’s not just that, I really did neglect her at the start of my relationship with you.

Blitzø
dick so good you forget you have a family?

Stolas More or less. But it’s not your fault! I was infatuated. (Still quite am...)
Obviously there are a lot of things about the start of our relationship I would fix if we did it all again.

Blitzø
i mean same i guess but who fucking cares? we got to a good place in the end right?

Stolas You and I? Yes. VERY yes. But in regards to Via and I? We’re still getting there.
But it was a really good talk last night. And a good cry. Oh Lucifer, so much crying. She’s still really hurting from me leaving her.
She kept asking why she wasn’t enough for me to stay and I didn’t have a good reason why. I’m terrible at this. But I told her I’m not going anywhere now.

Blitzø
can’t you just blame it all on your ex?

Stolas I’m learning it’s not that easy. That’s making Stella the villain just like she made me. It’s all the same in Via’s eyes, we’re both her parents and we’re both talking shit about each other to her. I didn’t realize how much damage it was doing til now.

Blitzø
fuck that’s alot
sorry i complicated shit so much with you guys

Stolas It wasn’t you! I’m very serious Blitz. I can’t tell you how dark things were for me before you came back into my life. Please know that you were the light that helped me escape that all.

Blitzø
nah, your a strong independent bird. you eventually would’ve found your way out

Stolas I really don’t think so. Thankfully I’ll never have to find out.

Blitzø
anyway it sounds like you guys had a good talk
i can’t believe i thought all my shit with loony was complicated

Stolas How did you get Loona to believe you cared about her? It doesn’t seem like it was easy.

Blitzø
by almost dying

Stolas Hmm. I already did that.

Blitzø
oh yeah

Stolas Anyway thanks for talking through this with me. Sorry for dumping all the emotions on you.

Blitzø
oh its no problem i’m actually a reeealy good therapist

Stolas Oh yeah?

Blitzø
yeah moxie def owes me like a grand from how much fucking awesome advice i’ve given him

Stolas I’m sure!

Blitzø
but really its no problem. boyfriend doodies, right?

Stolas Thanks 😘

Blitzø
❤️❤️❤️

6:51 PM

Stolas Did you ever have something called gushers on your trips to Earth?

Blitzø
uhh no
is it a sex thing? tell me that’s a sex thing
your such a gusher

Stolas Ha! No

Blitzø
k but you ARE

Stolas Well I’m not going to contest that.

Blitzø
🌊🌊🌊
k but seriously wtf are they

Stolas Food I think? Via and I assumed it was like a nutritious fruit pod so she picked some up for dinner.
But unfortunately they’re more like little gummy sugar morsels.
Anyway I’m quite hungry now.
I may take you up on the food portal offer.

Blitzø
wait aren’t you in the woods?

Stolas What’s in the woods?

Blitzø
like half those animals you told me you like to eat

Stolas Really?

Blitzø
yeah like fucking vole or whatever

Stolas What a great idea! I should just go find some!
I can be self sufficient this is wonderful.

Blitzø
there ya go

7:25 PM

Stolas Does the mortal realm have more than four seasons?

Blitzø
how the fuck should i know?

Stolas Isn’t it like your job to go to Earth?

Blitzø
uh i guess

Today

V Search
does erth have 4 seezons

Blitzø
yeah looks like they have 4
why can’t you voogle this yourself?

Stolas I don’t know, maybe because I’m trying to find vole and it’s getting dark!

Blitzø
oh right

Stolas Can you voogle if vole are around during hunting?

Blitzø
during hunting?

Stolas Yeah according to all the signs that’s what season it is here.

Today

V Search
are voll around in hunting

V Search
wat is huntign seezon

V Search
wat are the 4 seezins

V Search
wat arethe 4 seasins not the hotell

Blitzø
hey so apparently hunting isn’t like 1 of the 4 seasons
its just like when humans do hunting
your not wearing orange by any chance are you?

Stolas Ew, never. Why?

Blitzø
some kind of weird earth custom
oh i think its so they can tell you aren’t prey
idk why they would think your prey, humans are so fucking stupid

Blitzø
you look nothing like a vole with all your long legs and feathers
that doesn’t sound like prey

Blitzø
hellllooooo

Blitzø
stols this is important research i’m doing over here
i’m practically an earth scholar now
why aren’t you impressed?

Blitzø
answer meeee

Text conversation with
Dad’s shitty boyfriend

9:02 PM

Blitzø
hey sorry to bug you but is your dad back yet?

Octavia No, where is he?
I’ve been waiting for him to come back to the campsite for like an hour
It’s pretty dark now, did he get lost?

Blitzø
fuck
i don’t know
he’s not answering his phone

Octavia It probably just died and he can’t find his way back
I can go look for him

Blitzø
uhh well
hang on a sec

Octavia Why?

Blitzø
um
fuck
ok don’t freak out

Octavia About what???

Blitzø
i’m slightly worried that maybe your dad might have been shot
just like a little though

Octavia WHAT
How???

Blitzø
turns out its the season on earth where they shoot animals

Octavia What does that mean? Where do they do that?

Blitzø
idk just in like the woods

Octavia Fuck! I have to go look for him

Blitzø
no you don’t
it sounds like its not safe
ill portal over to where you guys are and go out looking

Octavia Fine okay

9:43 PM

Octavia Anything?

Blitzø
yeah like fourteen spiderwebs
all of which i walked directly through
with my face

Octavia I mean did you find my dad??

Blitzø
yeah I know
not yet
just trying to like
idk lighten the mood

Octavia Gee thanks

Blitzø
thought the mental image of me getting eaten by a million spider babies might bring you joy

Octavia Finding my dad would bring me joy

Blitzø
i’m sure he’s fine

Octavia I’m not
He doesn’t have any healing or protection you know

Blitzø
yeah

Octavia That doesn’t freak you out at all?

Blitzø
of course it fucking does
and we all know who’s fault that is

Octavia Wow ok fuck you

Blitzø
wait what?

Octavia You’re such a dick

Blitzø
i know i am but literally how in this context

Octavia Because it’s obviously my fault

Blitzø
what is? that i’m a dick?

Octavia NO
That dad’s life is so shitty

Blitzø
via nobody thinks that
at least nobody i know
and definitely not your dad

Octavia Then why did he leave?

Blitzø
you know why
by now you have to know
didn’t you just talk to him about it?

Octavia He told you about that?

Blitzø
fuck
yes sorry
he was just trying to understand things
he just wants to make up for how he treated you
i know we were real awful dickbags in the beginning

Octavia You’re still kinda awful

Blitzø
true
but he’s not
or he’s trying really hard not to be

Octavia Do you think he’s dead?

Blitzø
ha! stolas? not a chance
he may be made of glass now but that stubborn fucker will not die before he’s fixed things with you

Octavia Then I guess I better not forgive him

Blitzø
i guess you better not

Octavia How have you not found him yet?

Blitzø
idk the woods are big?

Octavia Maybe stop texting me so you can look better?

Blitzø
yeah I know

10:22 PM

Octavia Anything?

Octavia Blitz?

10:36 PM

Octavia ?

Octavia If you don’t answer me in 5 I’m going out looking for you both

Blitzø
sorry! don’t do that
i’ve got him

Octavia Oh thank Lucifer

Blitzø
were heading back now

Octavia Is he okay?

Blitzø
yeah mostly
says he twisted his leg, the bad one and dropped his phone
and has been hobbling around trying to get back for hours

Octavia That’s good
Well not good but I can probably heal the leg

Blitzø
we should be there in a few

Blitzø
just found his phone, it’s was like 15 feet away lol

Octavia Of course

Text conversation with
Via 🐣

10:44 PM

Octavia
I’m glad you’re okay

Stolas I’m so sorry if I made you worry! I can’t believe how turned around I got.

Octavia
It’s fine
Just like, get back soon ok?

Stolas Yes, almost there.
Sorry I didn’t find any vole 🙁

Octavia
What?

Stolas I thought maybe if I caught some it would cheer you up

Octavia
Dad I’m fine, I don’t need you to do anything crazy to make me happy

Stolas You deserve so much better than me. I’ve given you no good reason not to hate me.

Octavia
Jeez you and Blitz really are meant to be, you’re both like the low self esteem brigade
And for the record, I don’t hate you. I was hurt when you left BECAUSE I love you. It just doesn’t feel like you love me the same. Or it didn’t

Stolas I can’t believe I let you feel like that.

Octavia
It’s fine. We don’t have to get into it again right now
I’m just glad you’re alright

Stolas I’m sorry I made you worry.

Octavia
I’m okay, weirdly Blitz helped me stay calm

Stolas Yes, he does have an uncanny ability to make a crisis feel like it’s just business as usual for him.

Octavia
yeah

Text conversation with
Dad’s shitty boyfriend

11:29 PM

Octavia


He’s doing better now

Blitzø
that’s good
thanks

Octavia Yeah well thanks for finding him

Blitzø
anytime princess

Text conversation with
Blitzy ❤️

11:32 PM

Blitzø
so your still in your horse girl era?

Stolas Nooo she sent you that pic?

Blitzø
shut up your cute
legs 😛

Stolas Ha! Thanks

Blitzø
and your feeling ok?

Stolas Yes yes
Mostly just embarrassed. My wilderness survival skills are somehow even worse than I had even realized.
We have to get out of these damn woods.

Blitzø
i can try to find a better place on earth for hiding

Stolas No, we’re really not cut out for this life on the run

Blitzø
and the other option is what?

Stolas I’ve still been on the apartment hunt.

Blitzø
for something on earth?

Stolas No actually, back in hell.

Blitzø
uhh is that safe?

Stolas Octavia’s doing some research. She thinks she can find a way to cloak a property if it’s in our name.

Blitzø
really?

Stolas Yeah it’s like a partial pocket dimension.

Blitzø
oh yeah obviously
ok well let me know if there’s any place you want me to check out for you
still a good idea to lay low for a while

Stolas Yes, it would seem.

Blitzø
now go sleep
once you finish your noodles

Stolas Ok! It’s very sweet to have you worry about me ☺️

Blitzø
yeah well no one warned me that was a big part of being in love
its like my heart is outside my body and its walking around on two long, sexy ass legs

Stolas Yes, it can be hard not to worry. Why do you think I always call or text you during missions?

Blitzø
because your nosy

Stolas Yes, very nosy in love ❤️

Blitzø
❤️
i can’t believe that’s my most used emoji now you’ve ruined me

Stolas Then my work here is done.

Blitzø
GO TO SLEEP

Stolas No.

Blitzø
stupid fucking stubborn bird

Blitzø
oh good ok you actually went to sleep
good little birdie then
night stols

r/impcityapartments on dreddit.com
submitted by u/unrealtor_696

3BR lease takeover in Eastern Imp City

I have a three bedroom rent stabilized apartment available for immediate move in. Sixth floor walk-up with fantastic lighting, especially in the late afternoon. Very affordable area, I really need to just fill the space asap as previous tenants were only there for two months before extermination. Willing to wave all fees if you will cover initial cleaning and repair costs.

257 LIKES • 73 COMMENTS

u/CosmicBird• 3 points
Sent you a DM!