Work Text:
“Alright, everyone,” Blonde Blazer’s voice possessed a calm but dominant tone, the kind of voice where one instinctively knew that nonsense wasn’t tolerated one bit. “This brings our briefing about misconduct in the workplace to an end. Please sign the paper so we know who attended this meeting.”
Her gaze not so subtly landed on Flambae and Waterboy.
If he didn’t know any better, Herm would have guessed that there was amusement in her kind eyes. Or maybe all the water running down his goggles just made it appear that way. The paper went around the table, everyone dutifully signing their name. However, as the white sheet reached Waterboy, everyone on Team Z started hollering and cheering. It made signing the paper even more difficult than it already was, and Herman was certain that he had managed to smudge the names of everyone who had signed it before him.
Keeping his head down, he tried to avoid his bosses’ judgment and the knowing gazes of his team members. Malevola was at least kind enough to pat him on the back as they waited to be released for the day, the door to the meeting room seeming so close and yet so far away.
Someone kicked him under the table, and Herm was about to chalk it up to chance. But then whoever did it kicked him a second time, this time harder than before. Waterboy looked up, right into eyes that basically radiated with amusement. Flambae’s eyebrow shot up, a charming smile on his lips as he slowly mouthed two words that looked a lot like he was saying ‘Girth dick’.
Which was really inappropriate for the workplace—as they had all just learned—and also didn’t really make much sense.
Before Herm could get a chance to respond, a hand suddenly slammed down in front of Chad’s face. Immediately, the grin was gone, replaced by an annoyed scowl as Flambae and Robert were caught in a staring match.
"If you don’t sign the paper, I’m afraid you’ll have to stay after hours for another refresher." Robert’s tired voice still scared Herm, even though it had never been directed at him. Part of him hoped it never would be.
"Abusing your powers and forcing me to stay in a room with you? Alone? I think you might need this course more than I do, Bob Bob."
"Just…sign it. My desk already goes through enough shit on a daily basis."
"Of fucking course it does. It has to put up with you." Flambae grinned as he slipped the paper sheet out from underneath Robert’s hand and signed it before handing it off to the next team member.
Before Waterboy could react, the hothead turned to look at him before winking.
It made Herman flush, thoughts of that night flashing before his eyes. Thankfully, the goggles obscured his eyes enough for him to have plausible deniability if their bosses happened to have seen it.
"Alright then, everybody," Blonde Blazer clapped to get everyone’s attention and released them with a few encouraging but stern words.
Herm tried to keep his head directed at the ground as they headed out, trying desperately to hide between Prism and Punch-Up as they all left work for the day. He’d almost reached the entrance door before a familiar voice called his name.
"Hey, Waterboy," Robert caught up with him in the hallway, his monotonous voice not really giving away what he was actually thinking, which made the redhead even more nervous than he already was.
"Y-Yes Ro— Boss? R-Robert-Boss guy…man?" Herman wished he had been able to keep the mop after being assigned as a full-time hero. It had given him some emotional support while talking to people he was definitely not equipped to handle. Just like right now. "How…how can I he—help?"
"I just wanted to check in with you," the older man hesitated for a moment before placing a hand on Herm’s wet shoulder. There’s no way Robert didn’t notice it, but he was polite enough not to recoil at the feeling. "Are you okay?"
"Uhh…I— I think so… I a-at least fee—feel okay…? I got almost eight…no, seven hours of sleep last night!"
"No," Robert chuckled, still not giving away what they were actually talking about. "What I mean to say is that…thing…with Flambae…"
Herm perked up at the mention of that name. He still wasn’t sure how everyone had found out about them. He’d been certain Chad had wanted to keep it under wraps. But the moment someone had asked the hotheaded hero about them, he’d come clean. Well, not in the traditional sense. If Waterboy remembered correctly, there had been far more curse words and threats involved.
Which had been kind of…really, extremely hot.
"Waterboy?"
"Y-Yes? So—Sorry, you were talk—saying something about me…me and F-Flambae?"
There was something akin to concern in the dispatcher’s eyes, and Herman got the uncomfortable feeling that he might have given the man the wrong impression.
"I just wanted to know whether you’re alright. You know, Flambae can be a bit of an…established taste. And if he asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with, you can say no. And, of course, you can always come talk to us about it."
Oh…OH!
This was about the desk incident. Robert was apparently convinced that this had all been Flambae’s fault. The reminder of that night made Waterboy blush, and he could only hope that his overall anxiety managed to mask his reaction. Because he really couldn’t afford to be thinking about the incident with Robert right in front of him.
————————————————————————
The SDN was completely deserted after 10 p.m. Everyone who had even a semblance of a social life had long clocked out, followed by the socially awkward. Even the workaholic had packed their things and gone home to continue working from there. The building's lights were turned off, with only a few select rooms still illuminating the empty hallways.
Waterboy liked it this way. The anxieties of the workday finally fell off him, making his job more manageable without his powers acting up at every opportunity. And if he got lucky, he might be able to use the gym equipment without anyone being upset about the moistness.
But before he could do anything, he needed to finish cleaning the cubicles and scrape all the gum and dried snot off the desks. If he could use his powers, he would be done within minutes. But after the keyboard incident, he was forbidden from using water anywhere near electronics, even if they were supposed to be waterproof.
Robert’s cubicle was the last on his list, and by far the worst.
Herm wasn’t sure whether it was a testament to the last dispatcher that had worked here before Robert or maybe the other members of Team Z had let off their frustrations this way, but the desk was riddled with gum, marker drawings, and crude words carved into the cheap wood.
"Boo," a low voice suddenly said directly next to his ear.
"Je—Jesus!" his powers activated before he could fully comprehend who had startled him. Herm tripped over his own feet and was desperately holding onto the desk to keep himself from falling onto his own butt. Suddenly, there was a very hot, very wet figure towering above him.
"That’s what I get for taking a fucking shower first." An annoyed voice cursed.
"F-Flambae," Waterboy asked, trying his hardest to get his powers under control.
The water inside his suit was already seeping through, forming a small puddle beneath their feet. The older man ran a hand through his drenched hair, clicking his tongue in annoyance. Herm knew he should really be focusing on the Flambae’s face. But as he was clinging to the table, trying to regain control of his elevated heart rate, he couldn’t help but notice the way his water had also drenched Flambae’s suit.
The already incredibly tight fabric clung to his pecs, revealing just how muscular and strong the former villain was. The V-cut of his suit caught all the water drops running down Flambae’s chest, leaving a wet trail that led to…
"My eyes are up here, perv.” Flambae’s warm fingers lifted Waterboy’s chin up, forcing him to look up at a face that looked like it should be in some sort of fashion magazine.
Herm could feel his cheeks heating up. Being caught ogling someone probably was pretty creepy. But Flambae didn’t curse him out. Instead, the fingers wiped away a stray waterdrop running down Herm’s face, taking a step closer until Waterboy was cornered against the tiny cubicle.
Flambae was hot.
Not as in beautiful. Well, actually, he was also hot in that sense. But whenever the former villain approached him, Herm could feel the room temperature spike. Not to a painful degree, but enough to make the wetsuit cling uncomfortably to his moist skin.
“So—Sorry,” he instinctually apologized, trying not to squirm as he could feel his lower body react to the minimal skin contact.
“You better apologize,” Flambae’s voice sounded harsh, making it even more awkward that Herm could feel himself growing harder with every second he spent in the other man’s presence. “I don’t train so hard every day for you to stop at staring."
A warm hand grabbed his wet one, dragging it up until Waterboy’s palm made contact with Flambae’s muscular chest. “Don’t be shy. Touch me, you little voyeur.”
“U-Uh,” his thoughts were spiraling, the warm skin under his hand making it increasingly harder to form a semi-coherent sentence. “I-I…O-Oh God…”
“Fucking breathe, Christ,” Flambae instructed, keeping his hand in place to keep Herm from pulling away. Not that he had any intention to. This was better than any dream he’d ever had. Well, maybe not better than the dreams where he could pet his grandma’s cats. But this was right below that one.
“You—You’re h-hot.”
“I know, right?” Flambae finally decided to show mercy to Waterboy, helping the younger man to his feet until they were standing chest to chest, Flambae’s warmth making Waterboy heat up. Immediately, Herman’s hand was placed on the older man’s chest again. “So touch me. Properly. I’m not asking you to harass me like a ninety-year-old priest would a small child. I’m telling you to touch me.”
“O-okay…” He still wasn’t sure exactly how he was supposed to act. But Flambae had given him free rein to do whatever he wanted. This was an opportunity. For what, Herm wasn’t entirely sure. But it definitely was an opportunity. “Al—Alright!”
There was something hypnotic about having this much bare skin on full display, all for him to touch. The first contact was fleeting, his hands shaking as they slowly slid underneath the tight suit. Waterboy felt the way Flambae’s muscles shifted under his touch, those pecs feeling so soft against his fingertips. So close to each other, Herm could feel Chad’s hot breath against his face.
His fingers caught on something, which elicited a soft moan from the older man.
“That…wasn’t— y-you didn’t have that before, ri—right?”
His fingers caressed the cold metal, all his shame going out the window as he gave the piercing an experimental tug.
Flambae’s low groan sent shivers down his spine: "I thought it might be a nice surprise for the skittish janitor who always likes to work unpaid overtime. Give him something to get excited about. And I think it's working."
Waterboy didn’t need to look down to know he was painfully aroused. Flambae’s heat caused his suit to become far too tight; the high collar made breathing increasingly more difficult.
Herm’s eyes flickered up, gulping audibly as he saw the lazy smile on Flambae’s handsome face. His other hand, on its own volition, snuck under the tight suit. He had piercings in both of his nipples, and the taller man decided to test the waters by rolling the other piercing between his fingers. Immediately, the cocky grin disappeared, replaced by a heady laugh as Flambae attempted to stifle another moan.
"Tha—That’s unfair…Y-You’re holding back," Herm accused him, feeling validated when Flambae tried to hide a smirk behind his hand.
"Maybe you just aren’t fucking trying hard enough, Wetwipe." Flambae pulled back, dropping into the office chair before he motioned for Herm to take a seat. The angle was awkward, his long legs hitting the cubicle walls as he tried not to immediately slip off the older man’s lap. His head was pulled down, and Chad kissed him so hard, it made Waterboy’s head spin. "So try harder."
Herm could feel the water dripping off him, his erection rubbing against Flambae’s abs through his outfit. The pyromaniac’s suit gave way without much effort, fingers running over Flambae’s exposed shoulders, the skin feeling hot under Herm’s touch. While he continued to push the suit down Chad’s arms, those huge pecs of his bounced slightly as they slipped out of the outfit. There was a faint glint as Flambae’s piercings got caught in the light of a streetlamp outside the office.
Waterboy leaned down, trying to imitate what Flambae had done just a couple of weeks before. The metal felt smooth against his tongue, a foreign feeling as Herman let his tongue wander over the other hero’s nipple. The groan it elicited spurred him on. His other hand found its way up Flambae’s chest, groping the other pec as he used his teeth to slowly pull on the piercing.
"Hah, exactly like that," Flambae’s voice was beginning to grow louder, those moans echoing through the empty row of cubicles. “Now do it again.”
Herm swirled his tongue around the erect bud a second time, his hand tugging on the other piercing as he did so. It became a continuous motion, spurred on by the breathy sighs and groans spilling from the shorter man’s lips.
Under his lap, he could feel Chad growing harder. Cautiously, Waterboy decided to grind back against the hero’s hard-on, feeling his powers acting out more and more as Flambae’s hips snapped up to meet his.
“D-do— Is this…Do you like it?”
A warm hand wrapped around his waist, pulling him down with every thrust, the motion sending waves of excitement through his body. There was something so incredibly hot about being wanted by a man as self-assured and cocky as this man.
“At this point, you could breathe, and I’d be hard as a fucking brick.” Flambae slowly made his way up Herm’s neck, pausing to place soft bites and kisses along the underside of his chin. He could feel his heart beginning to beat out of his chest, water pooling down the redhead’s neck at the sensation.
Waterboy’s eyes got caught on the black monitor in the cubicle, and suddenly the reality of the situation set in. They were about to do it in the office after hours. At Mechman’s, no…Robert’s cubicle. They should really relocate. He wasn’t even sure if they were actually the last people in the building. Someone could catch them, watching as Flambae rutted up at Waterboy.
A loud moan escaped Herman at the thought, and Flambae quickly seized the opportunity to unzip his wetsuit, freeing the younger man’s aching member.
“Fuck, you gotta stop making these noises. I almost came in my fucking suit,” Flambae muttered, his hot palm wrapping around Herm’s growing erection.
“It’s…hah…I-It’s in—involuntary." Their position got in the way as Waterboy attempted to push Flambae’s suit lower, his nails accidentally scratching over Chad’s abs. His heart rate sped up as he felt his muscles flexing under Herm’s touch.
"Really? And here I thought you were always being extra loud for attention." The words dripped with sarcasm that would have offended any normal person. But Herm wasn’t exactly…normal. In more ways than one. "Think we can find a way to shut you up?"
By now, Waterboy knew exactly what that meant. Flambae had begun to use these words almost like a secret code word for the two of them. Chad muttered that one sentence, and before he could help himself, Herm was already on his knees, excited for what he knew would come next.
"Someone’s eager," Flambae chuckled, the irony not being lost on Herm as he watched the older man free himself of his suit in record time.
He wasn’t quite sure whether Chad actually knew how much Waterboy enjoyed sucking him off or whether it was an entirely selfish request on his side. With the end result being the same, Herman wasn’t even sure whether the semantics mattered at all.
His mouth literally watered at the sight of Flambae’s hard-on, and he had to swallow hard to not make a complete fool of himself. When he was certain no water would spill from his mouth, he licked his lips in anticipation.
"You are so fucking hot when you do that."
The praise always got to him, making him preen with pride; the idea of being the one who brought Flambae pleasure almost enough to make him come untouched.
Which would be embarrassing and something he would never recover from.
Herm tried to take his time as he began to let his tongue run along the underside of Flambae’s shaft, wrapping his lips around the head once he finally reached the tip. There was a faint taste of soap clinging to it, evidence of the fact that Chad had just finished showering. Waterboy slowly began to bop his head up and down, carefully beginning to fit more and more of Flambae’s hard member into his mouth.
"Fuuuck, just like this," Chad muttered, his finger tips glowing as they grasped Herm’s hair. "If the whole hero thing doesn’t work out, I could always hire you as my personal cock warmer. Mmh, what do you think?"
Before Herm had any chance to respond, Flambae pressed the heel of his foot against the redhead’s erection. The pressure caused Waterboy to buck into the feeling, moaning around the other man’s erection. It was embarrassing how little it took from Flambae to make Waterboy moan and whimper.
One of these days, Chad could just ask him to come over, and it would probably leave Herm horny for the remainder of the day. The idea was so ludicrous, and it made the redhead begin to slowly grind against Flambae’s foot with the rhythm of Chad lazily using his mouth. The water in his mouth began to spill out with every thrust, running down his sensitive face and neck as he attempted to take as much as he could without gagging.
"Shit, what a sight you are," Flambae muttered, slowly grabbing a harder hold of Herm as he began to force him down on his pulsing, hot cock. He could feel his throat begin to struggle with the size, but the thought of satisfying Chad was enough to make Waterboy double down, whining as Flambae hit the back of his throat, over and over again. Suddenly, the hero’s hips stilled, and a loud groan echoed through the deserted room.
It was followed by Flambae’s release flooding Herm’s mouth.
Just like everything else about the older man, it was hot and overflowing. The redhead struggled to keep up, breathing through his nose as he swallowed pump after pump. He was no longer able to tell whether the fluids dripping from his lips were his own or Flambae’s.
Finally, Chad pulled back. His hand lingered in Herm’s hair, and with his other hand, Flambae softly tapped two fingers against Waterboy’s abused bottom lip, silently asking him to open his mouth again. Herm obeyed, and Flambae hummed, visibly pleased.
"Good boy, " Flambae chuckled, his eyes lighting up with amusement as he caught sight of Waterboy’s own predicament. The shorter man unceremoniously picked Herm up only to drop him onto Robert’s desk. The cheap wood creaked under his weight, some office supplies cluttering as Chad made more room for Waterboy.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise to the younger man. He’d seen the weights Flambae was able to lift in the gym. But every time he handled Waterboy as though he wasn’t almost 200 pounds, Herm’s stomach did a barrel roll, and he could feel his own member leaking precum at a record speed.
"We really gotta get you a two-piece suit," Flambae complained as he finally shoved Herm’s wetsuit down, completely freeing his achingly hard member. "Not that I don’t find the whole 40s chastity vibe sexy, but I would be able to get you off so much faster if you owned a pair of fucking pants."
"Bu—But, w-waterproof…" Herm attempted to explain himself, the cold air causing goose bumps to run up his arms as he wasn’t sure whether to cover himself in embarrassment or show off in order to maybe tempt Flambae and urge him to pick up the pace.
"Alright, in that case, I’m picking you up a bikini the next time I’m out shopping, smartass. I would love to see you try to shove your huge dick into some lacy thong that barely manages to cover your ass." The heavy fabric of his wetsuit clung to Herm’s ankles, and he barely managed to register what had happened before Flambae suddenly lifted his legs over his shoulders.
"Since I can’t fuck without any prep, I’m just gonna do the second-best thing and use your skinny thighs. Activate those powers of yours, Mr. Slip’N’Slide."
"Th—That’s not really…It…It’s kind of h-hard…"
"Yes, I know. We both are, smartass. I’m trying to do something about it." Flambae hooked a finger in Waterboy’s mouth, and instinctually, Herm sucked on it. It made Flambae groan, the sound sending shockwaves through his body. "Now, be a good boy and get us both nice and wet."
While he was still caught up on the order, he could feel the water running down his thighs. Apparently, his body knew how to follow Flambae’s instructions without needing a couple of seconds to process the request.
"Ever thought about changing your name to Wetpantsman instead?" Flambae let some excess water run down his fingers, watching while it slowly ran down his forearm. He raised his eyebrows, as if he needed to show Herm just how wet he’d actually become.
"Is…I-is this really the correct…right t-time? Fo—For jokes, I mean?" Herm forced out, trying not to let Chad’s cocky grin get to him.
"Probably not," Flambae shrugged, lining up their dicks and wrapping his hand around both their erections. "But I was always a talented multitasker. Watch."
That was all the warning Herm got before the older hero thrust forward, providing friction as he began to rut against Waterboy’s own aching member. With every movement, Herm’s entire body was rocked back and forth, his hands clinging to the desk as he attempted to keep up with Chad’s punishing pace.
The pleasure began to slowly spike with every move of Flambae’s hot palm. It took Herman a moment to realize those needy whimpers and high-pitched moans came from him. They mixed with the slapping noises and the wet sounds, making his ears burn with embarrassment.
"Think I can make us come at the same time," Flambae asked, his voice beginning to sound just as wrecked as Herm felt.
His long hair had begun to cling to his forehead, sweat shining on his face as his fiery eyes stared right at Waterboy. They were captivating. If Herm could wish for one thing, it would be to keep Flambae’s gaze locked solely on him. Maybe not during his most embarrassing moments…but right before and immediately after them.
"I-I’m…I’m close…" Waterboy stuttered, trying to keep himself from coming before Flambae did. The friction sent sparks through his body, and he was basically standing on top of a very steep cliff, trying to row his arms back and forth in order to stave off his impending orgasm. He bit down on his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, in order to distract himself from the pleasure.
"Good." Flambae’s thrusts grew faster and harder, their dicks rubbing against each other with every movement. Waterboy didn’t get a second chance to warn Chad, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train. He could feel his own release mixed with Flambae’s hot come painting stripes all over his stomach.
Herm’s mouth opened as the force of his climax hit him. Before any water could spill from his lips, Chad captured Waterboy’s mouth with his own, swallowing his moans as they rode through the waves of their ejaculation together. The wet noises subsided as Flambae pulled back. His eyes lingered on Herm’s face before they flickered towards his lips.
"Christ," the older man wiped the blood off Herm’s abused lip, before Flambae kissed him a second time, the taste of blood, and water, and Chad mixing as they made out while Herm finally managed to come back down. "Would this classify as a workplace injury?"
"Uh…I-I don’t kno—know…"
"I would love to see Robert’s face when you tried to claim compensation for that."
Within seconds, the reality of the situation set back in. Oh God, this was Robert’s desk. Mechaman’s desk. They had…at…multiple times. Oh God.
————————————————————————
"Uh, Waterboy? You good?" Robert’s voice brought him back to reality.
"Y-Yes? No…I-I mean, yes, I’m…I’m great…per—perfect, actually. I mean—"
"Hey, Roberto Robertoson," Prism cut in, completely ignoring Herm as she pointed in the direction of Robert’s work desk. "Someone’s put your dog in an ugly sweater, and now everyone’s taking pictures of him instead of doing their own shit."
"What?" Robert and Herman said in unison, and before Waterboy could utter another word, Robert was pushing through the crowd trying to rescue his chihuahua.
"Uh…thanks," Herm muttered, trying not to offend the woman who was clearly aware that she was superior to him in every way.
"Sure. Chad gave me ten bucks, told me to get you off the hook if Rob Bob was pestering you."
"O-Oh," Waterboy tried to get a good look at Robert’s cubicle, "So the sweat—sweater thing was…is a l-lie?"
"I wish," Flambae suddenly appeared beside him. "That fucking dog is faster than it looks. And also really slippery. Kind of like a cat."
"I’m surprised that Robert’s gramps let you near his dog," Prism muttered, pocketing the ten dollars Flambae had handed her. "The fucker is almost as protective of Beef as Robert himself. Maybe even more."
"He helped, actually. Thought it was a great idea to dress him up. He probably hasn’t heard about the desk incident yet; he was almost nice to me."
"Does…a-are they going to ke—keep the t-tape?" Herm asked, finally managing to voice the worries that had been plaguing him for a while now.
Both heroes looked at him, and against all odds, their expressions softened as they began to steer Herm away from the office.
"Don’t worry your pretty little head about it," Prism patted him on his head as though he was an animal in need of reassurance. "We got Coupé to delete the thing before HR even got their grubby little hands on it. Your little sex tape will only live on in our memories. And maybe Sonar’s hard drive. That fucker definitely lied when he said he deleted it."
Waterboy wasn’t really sure what suddenly made it click as he listened to their tale about how they had erased the tape from the servers. But the moment they left the office behind, he realized what Flambae had attempted to tell him during the meeting just now.
“O-Oh, worth it! Be—before…i-in the meeting room. Y-you said worth it, right? I didn’t under— getting…I didn’t get it back then.”
"What the hell did you think I said?" Flambae looked at him over his sunglasses, those eyes appearing to undress Herm as they talked.
"I—I don’t… G-Girth dick or some—s-something…like that."
“You… are so fucking lucky that you’re cute,” Flambae muttered, snapping Herm’s goggles back onto his eyes.
"Y-You to—too. I-I mean ho—hot. But also cute. Unless you don—dont want to be called c-cute." Herman returned the compliment, trying to keep up with the confident duo as they left the SDN for the day.
