Chapter 1: Finding him
Chapter Text
Harry began to squirm upon the floor as the pudgy crimson faced man leaned forward. Of course he was used to this, he had to be mostly on every day he breathed the sickening air of this home. No one cared to help him anyways which he became so content with. His aunt would always raise her nose high and tell him to grow up, his cousin would laugh at the sight of his dismay while stuffing his face with chocolates.
No, no one cared for the poor scrawny boy with glasses smashed upon the grounds like fractured pasts. So as Harry stared up to his uncle with his bruised face and split lip he felt no voice was needed to shout. It was already hoarse from the hours before. "You understand now boy!" Yet another sharp slap rang through the room once more as I silent whimper escapes the boys throat.
"Yes Uncle." His voice now sounded timid. Like a toddler asking for his mothers forgivness. The short man lips curled up as he stared down at the scarred boy. "Great you finally learned for once. Now upstairs!" With a swift nod Harry scrambled up the narrow staircase past his pig faced cousin who snickered in glee. The umber door opens into the tiny cramped room filled with only a wooden bed and tall walldrobe.
He wipes his nose swiftly and kneels upon the floor. "Stupid Vernon" He muttered as he clawed open the floorboard loose upon the ground. His wand sits neats upon the piles of schoolwork he never had finished in the holidays. Gently, Harry removed his iron grip upon his glasses and began to tap it softly with the tip of his wand. "Reparo" he whispered silently as the glass flew into the thin holders of his eyes.
He readjusts them upon his face once more to view the world once again in its mundane light. Gripping his hands into solid fists as he moves things about in the gap of hope to a small box of plasters. Too risky for magic to be used if he wants it to remain hidden from his lock pick trick under the stairs. Carefully, he applies plasters on the cuts on his face, his arms now hardened compared to the beginning of summer. Like a bag of bones.
His charms book made of purple hardback slips perfectly into his hands as he opens it up to read on.
* * *
"C'mon we are almost there."
"You cannot be serious" Sirius smirks letting his teeth shine through as he looks upon his friend. Remus the ever smart one knew this plan was insane from the start. Sure he knew Harry was not safe anywhere near Hogwarts or the magic world with Pettigrew on the loose even though he had thought for years he was dead but it felt wrong. This was insane to do!
"Listen I get it you still don't want to move Harry but think! We can move him into hiding, just for a bit and then we can begin to reform the order!" His voice bounced in an odd sort of joy and excitment. Sirius was going to meet his Godson! His godson that he hadn't ever met! He turned into the sleepy Privot drive. Lights remaining off, silence echoeing in the skies. Calm.
"Okay sure but how do we get Harry. From what I have heard from staff is that his muggle relatives are not welcoming-"
"We take him!"
"WHAT!" Remus spluttered out protests as his friend tied his long onyx hair into a ponytail and began to approach the house. He had a plan, was it perfect? No but would he make it work? Why yes he would! Gripping the wall, he swiftly scampered up to a sole closed window at the top of the house. "Toss me your wand!"
Muttering annoyed, Remus through their wand up high above to Sirius who cast "Alomora!" With a voice of joy. The window slipped open instantly allowing a smooth entrance for him to transverse inside. Heart racing in anticipation, he slipped inside and looked around. Its cramped contents shocked the tall man as he viewed all around. Compared to the grand front it seemed rushed together and scrapped with old objects long worn out. Walls covered in torn wallpaper, cobwebs upon the roof and a small twin bed with a too thin blanklet hanged over a malnourished frame.
"Harry..." The messy haired boy lay peacefully on the bed. Unmoved by the shocking state of the room and floorboard still lying upon the floor revealing his wand and books. Sirius felt sickness in the back of his throat. How dare they? How dare they! He wanted to incinerate the house, make Harry get revenge on those who have done him wrong. But he couldn't. Gripping his hangs hard he slowly grabbed a small bag and packed the small boys wand. Opened the waldrobe of too large clothes and filled a few inside.
'Remus will replace these later' Sirius thought as he closed the last few into the bag. He threw the bag onto his back and returned his gaze to his godson. The poor child seemed so worn from time and work, from pain of working to survive. Blandly, He picked him up into his arms and began his departure to the ground once more to the brown mop of hair who stands tall.
"Sirius?"
"We are getting out of here. Now." His voice left no room for the protest, Remus provided none as he hesitantly nodded looking at the boy's thin frame. Anger flared into his eyes before shifting into a softer gaze taking hold of the boy in a carry of a child. "C'mon Sirius, before the ministory know your here." Walking perpusfully he leads the way with a swish of his wand and a puff of smoke.
The snoozing street notices the disterbence in the night. No owls went beserk, no cat raised an ear. For no one knew of the event that was about to begin.
What Harry never expected was to wake up to the softest bed he has ever had since July. The blanket weighs something instead of nothing but cloth. Warm, soft, comforting. That is the first thing he could process before he could open his eyes. That for something caused a wonder drift into his head. Did Ron and his brothers come get him in his sleep? If so it was a bit early. But when the dim light creeped into his eyes he was quick to realise that the place was unfamiliar to himself. A double bed under him made of oak shocked him, then the cyan walls tainted slightly by time. Then the desk to his side. Everything around him causes his slightly at anything he can see. 'What on earth?' Harry thought as his body jerked up from under the softest duvet he has had in months.
Instinctivly he began to get out of the spot to look around the area he remains in. Nothing familiar to him as he stepped quick to the door half open. Thoughts racing to what Hermione would do, he opens the door fully to tip toe out, to find a lower window or his wand. He knew if he is kidnapped by muggles he would need to find a weapon because no ransom would be payed unless forced. He had to move. Moving by the banister, his breath remains uneven, quickening to make it harder to hear what's around him. 'Focus Harry. Get downstairs and out a window.'
He followed his thoughts with a prayer as his bare feet glided over each step of a strangely smooth oak. His heart screamed in his ears, his fears tangled in his throat as his half dazed form desended down each step with determination to leave before danger could sink its teeth into him. How to handle this was a mystery to him as he finally reached a narrow hallway upon the lower floor. Talking. He could hear two voices ripple from the room at the edge of the corridor as his breath hitched almost as fast as it exhaled. Silent as can be, he began to think of any exit he could make from the building he remains in. Questions fresh in his mind as those voices carry on. Curiosity however leads him to go against what Hermione would say once more and to what Ron would do. A dumb choice, that he knew.
His feet however did not care for the internal debate he had as they reached the doorway of the room with the voices. His heart seems to slow just enough to hear the debate within the large enough room. "Prongs you know this is for the best!"
"You know the minstory will hunt for him-"
"And I can handle them! Come on he needs to live a better life! You saw how they treated him at that muggle's place." A pause grows long within the house as the pale boy with green eyes lost himself within his mind. Blisfully unaware of the two men now hearing those quickened breaths beyond the door. The eldest of the two almost bouncing on the balls of his feet at the realisation of someone they have only ever seen asleep after 12 years. Since that fateful night of halloween where he was supposed do the darth vader with him.
The werewolf on the other hand seems tenser at the idea of the ball of black meeting someone he had no memories of them. Fear for the safety of the child still deep within their mind as their longest friend took a deep breath. 'He needs to be protected' thought the brown haired man as he gripped the sleeves of his knitted jumper. 'Even if it means working with someone with no care for the law.'
Harry took a deep breath, he needed to go. That was the plan in his mind as he looked towards the door on the otherside. The exit, his salvation. He didn't know where in the country he was, it didn't matter. He knew full well they were wizards from the slang they spoke. About Muggles and the Ministory, vital information for him to realise that this could be worse than he could imagine. So he thought, and then didn't. He didn't when that door opened to see two men with faces he couldn't recognise. He ran as fast as he could for nothing.
His feet leaving the ground as a pair of hands picked him up by the arms and turned him round to a grand smile with full brown eyes.
"AHHHH!"
He couldn't help it really as he screamed and flayled. His fight and flight response kicked in to escape from this stranger to any form of escape. The man behind the black haired ponytail seemed panicked as he winced at the sudden noise, his hands moving up immeditly. "SIRIUS PUT HIM DOWN!" His words met death ears as the man began to laugh with some sort of joy that freaked out the green eyed boy more than usual. Harry now was picked up higher above the man now dubbed 'Sirius' as the mad man laughed in excitment and apprehention.
"Look! He looks just like James! My gosh we know where those good looks came from!" Despite Harry's screams to being thrown up and down in the air, Sirius remained all moved in his excitment like it was christmas all over again. His eyes shining in a joy that the brown haired man had seemed to miss as a small smile grew on his face despite his refusal to let Sirius carry on terrifying the confused child he was meant to be teaching this year. "I can see that Sirius! Put the poor boy down before he throws up!"
"Fine!" The man pouted slightly at that as he was forced to lower the boy back onto the ground however he remained his arm around the boy to prevent any escape attempt. "Party pooper" Came a mumble from the black haired man to the other with a hand on the bridge of his nose, too tired to deal with the chaos of the person in front of him.
Harry couldn't think straight amongst the men squabbling in front of him as he tried not to puke from motion sickness. He expected a lot but this was not even on the list. How was he supposed to deal with this? He knew he couldn't as he was trapped in a side hug by the onyx haired man with a smile that almost made him want to smile too. That and the confusion were the only things he was forced to focus on as the strangers guided him into the kitchen in a debate Harry could only half hear. His thoughts were too loud, the possibilities humming in his brain as he looked towards the brown haired man who put on the kettle and got a mug.
"You can't be making him the muggle shhiii-" A glare caused Sirius to hold back his tongue from a word he wished he could say freely. Instead he changed his words to fit his best friend's pallet of speach in front of his god son. "You can't be making him the muggle stuff!"
"Familiarity will do him wonders Prongs!" The muttering continued as Remus heaped the chocolate goodness within the slightly chipped mug with a lightning bolt on the front. His hopes were very bold within his mind as he focused on letting some energy into the bone boy sat down with furrowed eyebrows and flinching eyes. 'He is terrified.' A sigh escaped the scarred man's throat as he added the water and milk. Dashing on cream and chocolate sprinkles upon his creation as he sets it in front of the boy.
Taking a deep breath the smarter of the two spoke up to the ball of black and green who hesitated to look up from the drink. "It won't hurt you Harry, we won't hurt you" Still the boy didn't move for a second until the kind man sighed once more and looked into those sea green eyes that mirrored once of distant memories. "My name is Remus, and that is Sirius, your godfather. We want to help but first drink, please."
Hesitant, Harry took that sip and luxury sunk into his very soul as the man with a scar on his face became someone to trust. Even if Harry knew it could be a bad idea, chocolate was the bond he needed.
Chapter 2: Hot chocolate
Summary:
Harry reflects on a memory from a little while ago, Remus reflects slightly on what he has failed.
Chapter Text
The last time Harry was given a hot chocolate was the last day of half term. He and the others had snuck off from Gryffindor tower with the invisibility cloak and took a trip down the corridors in the maze-like building. His bare feet kissed the floor as they giggled all the way to a hidden part of the school near the kitchens. Where Hermione enchanted the equipment to live and create the treats as they chatted about the year. How Harry needed to be more careful, how Ron was becoming all grown up, how Hermione was going to need to catch up on school.
The cocoa was a gateway, a rip in the pain he had felt all those months in the castle walls that was both his cage and freedom. How it was a trap of hatred during the chamber of secrets, how it was his sanctuary from the Dursleys who would have kept him in a cage forever otherwise. How it had been enslaving him in the brands of the world's hatred for the year. His face public enemy number one for weeks until then.
But for then it didn’t matter. He didn’t need to be strangled by the terrors of almost dying again. Of almost seeing Ginny die in front of his eyes because he wasn’t fast enough. It wasn’t about the isolation, it wasn’t about the pain of being the ‘chosen one’. Because they made it so that it wasn’t. It was about saying goodbye, about being kids. Letting the warmth soak him up like a mother hugging him. Like he was supposed to during his time at Hogwarts. The sugar alerted him but soothed his mind. As he allowed himself to be naive to the adult world for those few hours.
He let himself be teased, he let himself joke about Lockheart, he let himself envision himself as strong and brave. Hermione made him have extra helpings even when the sun gaped through the glass in lilacs and marigolds. The colours angelic in his eyes, enchanting more than the magic he sees everyday.
It was perfect…
Ron earwigged on even as the first creeks of the teachers began to awake. Going on about how Harry must send letters this time since Dobby wouldn’t stop him. How he must come for at least a week within the Weasley home. And he promised every time. Even when the cold brushed his fingertips reminding him of the time that passed. He soaked up the hot chocolate. The memory now core within his mind like every single one with these people. As they snuck barefoot across the sunbeamed ground to the tower. Under the cloak as they danced away from Mrs Norris and Flitch. Through the castle to their home where the soft warmth tickled his chest as he pretended to just awake. He had his family here.
But here, now, a stranger has been named his god father? Harry never thought that was possible, that out there was someone who cared for him beyond his friends.
Remus watched him drink the hot chocolate carefully. He had thought Harry would be oh he didn’t know healthier? He was skin and bones, much worse than him on the best of days. Dark circles gripped his face, his dark hair limp against his face amongst the lightning bolt that branded him. His eyes hollow, lost in the camel liquid within his enclosed hands. Juniper but dull. Lifelike but dead. Remus hated that idea. Of how the boy looked amongst the light within the appointed kitchen.
“So..” The boy began, his voice quiet almost as though he tested the air in hesitation. His eyes rested on the man now sitting patiently next to the scarred man. “You're my god father?...”
“Thats right!” But after the slight flick of the child’s eyes as they blinked too fast, Sirius toned down his voice. “Yeah, that's me kiddo… Sorry I haven’ t been around much”
A silence lingered as Remus felt the world slow ever so slightly. His heart ached to the child twiddling their fingers amongst the mug. His eyes were lost within the questions of unknown ideas and beliefs. ‘How long?’ He thought as his mind traced back to the days within the orphanage before Hogwarts, before Dumbledore spoke to him in the gardens. A thumb tracing his wrist to the tiny almost invincible stripes.
“I know this is shocking” Remus spoke, his voice as gentle as honey. His eyes softened to comfort the now calmer boy. “But Sirius hasn’t been able to come… it's grown up issues okay? But we are here to help you” He smiled at Harry who traced his features almost as though unlocking a puzzle. He watched as Sirius watched him but he gave a silent mouthing of ‘Later’ to shush him on the idea of asking more about it. ‘Now isn’t the time to tell him about the accusation’ He told himself as he watched the child sip his drink. ‘For now I must make sure he is happy.’
“You want to go to bed?” Sirius began, his hands resting on top of one another on the table, smiling alongside me. There is a pause, for a moment Remus thought he would be shouted at by the child who wore chains invisible to the eye but all came was a nod. He took that as a sign to move the cup and nod to Sirius who began to guide the small form back up the stares.
Those green eyes meet him in an almost searching manner before retreating up the stairs. Gone almost as fast as they came. As his heart almost fails him.
Because after all these goddamn years he had failed in his own way. Sirius couldn’t have helped, he could of. And now he saw himself, he saw James, he saw Lilly. He saw Harry, the boy who lived, the boy who shouldn’t have a burden be led to bed.
“I am so sorry…” He whispered to the world. “I am sorry James, I am so so sorry Lilly…” His voice whispers as he looked up to where the door shut.
“I am sorry Harry…”