Chapter Text
“Agatha, I’m begging you, for the love of christ, please stop promising features that are not even on the roadmap to clients.”
Jennifer Kale’s Monday was not off to the best start. She had barely had time to sit down at her cubicle with her iced oat matcha before her girlfriend Alice, who works in product engineering, had sent her a Slack asking if some random feature was supposed to be scheduled for their next sprint.
Now Jen might not be the most dedicated employee at DRKHLD, but she is a damn-good product manager and she’d know if a new feature had been scheduled for their upcoming sprint. Which could only mean one thing… Agatha Harkness lied again.
“Oh Jenny Kale, lighten up. I didn’t promise anything,” she said with a smirk. “I heavily implied that their must-have feature, without which they wouldn’t sign, would probably, maybe make its way onto the road map at some point in the near future. Nothing definitive, I promise,” she called over her shoulder as she tossed her hair back and began to strut to the Sales area of the bullpen.
Call Agatha a lot of things—a liar, a narcissist, a snake—but don’t call her bad at her job. There’s a reason why she’s the Lead Sales Rep at only 34 years old and that’s because she doesn’t take bullshit from anybody. Her pipeline is solid, her clients love her, and she consistently exceeds quota keeping their quaint little SaaS start-up above water, thank you very much.
In addition to being great at her job, she is also great at being a pain in everyone’s ass, which brings us back to our current dilemma.
“Cut the bullshit, Harkness. You know that feature’s not real and never will be,” Jen shouted at Agatha’s turned back.
Agatha calmly came to a stop right before her desk and turned on her heel to face the direction of Jen’s projected voice, cool as can be. She narrowed her bright blue eyes, honing in on Jen’s reddening face that was getting hotter by the minute in frustration. “I’m sorry if my talent made it so you and your little girlfriend had to stop sending each other cat adoption profiles on Petfinder and actually talk about work, but it’s your job to prioritize what features get built and it’s time you get with the program. This client just signed for $4 million, so prioritize or else.”
“Fuck you, Agatha,” Jen spat across the room.
“In your dreams, Kale. I’d rock your world” Agatha volleyed back with an exaggerated wink, holding up two fingers in a peace sign in front of her lips and slowly licking between her fingers.
No faster had the words come out of her mouth than Agatha was face-to-face with her least favorite person to see in the office, HR Manager Rio Vidal. Now, don’t get her wrong, Agatha loved looking at Rio. Rio was hot, unbearably so. But she also had a foot-long stick up her ass and a distaste for Agatha’s idea of “professional office conduct.”
“I know I did not just hear you threaten Jen and then sexually harass her, right?” Rio tsked at Agatha, looking over at her above her thick, black glasses. God, she was hot.
“It depends,” she responds, innocently. “Jen, did you like what I said? If you liked it, it wasn’t harassment!” Agatha shouts back across the room as Jen flips her a middle finger.
Rio runs her hand through her messy wolf cut, pushing her bangs back from her face and taking a deeeeeeeeep breath. “Agatha, you and I both know that’s not how that works. I was the HR rep who administered your sexual harassment training—I certainly didn’t go over it like that.”
Agatha takes one glance at Rio’s exasperation and decides to double down. “You love it… the anticipation… that I’m gonna get myself in trouble and make your day interesting. C’mon Rio, you’re a big girl. What are you going to do about it?”
Rio does not love it when Agatha is like this. She is a walking HR nightmare, but somehow Agatha always seems to walk the very fine line between committing reprimandible violations of the employee code of conduct and driving everyone certifiably insane. Rio is a straight-laced, by-the-book kind of person and Agatha thrives in grey areas, which gives Rio a stomach ache if she thinks about her behavior too long.
But it’s more than that. Agatha is not just the persistent thorn in Rio’s side–she’s the subject of her fascination. Without question, Agatha is one of the most gorgeous creatures Rio has ever seen. Their charged, flirty banter (exclusively on Agatha’s side) has grown into a fondness that has Rio cutting her slack where she is usually so rigid and principled. If anything, Rio might even dare to file Agatha in the category of “workplace proximity associate,” not quite on the level of “friend” yet.
“Okay Agatha,” Rio huffed, “Stop. You’ve made your point.”
“So you’re going to punish me for my behavior?” Agatha cooed with her eyes sparkling.
Rio’s eyes went wide at that and suddenly she wasn’t at work any more. She was locked in the dungeon in her mind, picturing what it would be like to punish Agatha after hours. She bet that the snarky saleswoman would sound delicious begging and pleading for more as Rio administered strike after strike…
“You okay there, boss lady?” Agatha chuckled. “Seems like you lost focus for a second. All good?” she posed, sweetly.
Rio was suddenly slammed back into her consciousness, remembering that she is at work and not locked in a windowless room ravishing the mouthy woman standing in front of her. As the seconds progressed, the more she could feel the heat of embarrassment move up her chest and onto her cheeks, which Agatha absolutely noticed.
“I’m fine, thank you Agatha” she croaked. “Since you closed such a big deal, why don’t you give everyone a break and head home early for the day? I’ll clear your schedule for you.”
Agatha’s eyes lit up at the prospect of getting to cut out of work ahead of schedule and wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Yes ma’am, I’m out of here,” she answered with a quick two finger salute before throwing a quick glance down to Rio’s lips, which she was currently worrying between her teeth, and then back up to her big, chocolate eyes.
“As always Rio, you take such good care of me. Have a good night.”
Before Rio could process the praise, Agatha had slung her crossbody bag over her shoulders and zipped out of the bullpen to the front door.
Rio stood in her wake, stunned. Too horny to move, too caught in the fantasy to go back to work just yet. What the hell just happened?
The monster in her head kept echoing “PUNISH AGATHA” and there was nothing she could do to stop the fantasy from playing on a loop. If only Agatha knew what she was getting into.
After three solid minutes of standing in silence, she figured it was probably time to head back to her floor, but her feet refused to move. It was like they were rooted to the outline of where Agatha had once been. Rio shook out her neck, cracked her knuckles, took a deep breath and willed herself to put her mask of professionalism back on. She is the head of HR. She maintains the balance in the office. She was fine, right?
It was at that moment, standing stock still in the middle of the sales bullpen, that Rio realized she was utterly and completely fucked.