Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ugh gross…” Peter wiped the goop from the newest creature to crawl out of New York’s Sewers off of his face, at least they seemed pretty harmless. “What even is this? Forget it I don’t want to know.” Peter yelped in surprise as more projectile goop hurdled towards him and he instinctually leapt towards the nearest wall started climbing it. “Ironman always gets to fight corrupted scientists and other rich men, Captain America gets to fight spies, why am I always fighting weird things that crawl out of the sewers and cover me in slime.” The newest villain spat out a few more projectiles one of which hit Peter’s arm and cemented him to the wall.

“So much for these things having harmless useless powers.” Peter sighed. He pulled at his arm to no avail, it was stuck. “It’s cool you got this Spidey, just use your handy spider strength and break the goop off the wall no problem.  If that doesn't work you have a pocket knife on you...I think.” The thing from below let out a screech and sprouted wings. “Okay, maybe a small problem. Oh man, what is with people and making weird mutant animal things? Nice giant lizard-moth…thing?” It started flying up towards Peter. “Okay change of plan.” Letting go of his grip on the wall Peter used his cemented wrist to hold him up while he shot webs at the moth and blocked and kicked the moth from his solitary spot. Suddenly, the creature screamed. A blinding light and impossible amount of heat hit Peter forcing him to close his eyes, his suit wasn't exactly military grade defence technology and even with the mask the heat hurt his eyes. All Peter could think was that death by unknown lizard-moth hybrid was not the great heroic death he wanted Aunt May to read about. It hadn’t even done more that eat a few dogs and terrify a few children yet, at least if it killed someone then people would understand. Peter paused as he started thinking these final thoughts were lasting possibly a bit too long. He opened his eyes.

“Don’t worry this one's mine! You know what they say about moths and flames!” Came a slightly obnoxious sounding proclamation. Peter looked up and saw none other but the Human Torch easily handling the weird moth creature. Not that it was difficult for him, Peter thought, the goop didn’t seem to withstand heat and moths are surprisingly flammable. Within a few moments, the moth was flying away to who knows where with the Human Torch seemingly pursuing it.

“Cool…I guess I’m just going to stay here attached to this wall then. Awesome.” Peter manoeuvred for his hand again trying to flex in the hopes of causing a fracture in the cementing goop so he could break free. “This is always how I thought my first meeting with a member of the fantastic four was going to go, yep. What are they even doing in town anyways?” Peter sighed as he heard the goop creak slightly under his force but no fractures seemed to be appearing, this was going to be a long night.

“Need a hand with that?” Peter looked up to see the Human Torch floating before him. Before he could say anything the Human Torch brought his flaming hand near the hardened goop which started to melt. It quickly lost it's adhesion to the wall before Peter really thought of trying to catch himself, he yelped as he started to slip down the wall.

“Ouch.” He exclaimed as he hit the ground. Peter frowned and looked up to see the Human Torch above him.

“Whoops. Sorry, I really thought you’d catch yourself what with the whole wall sticking thing, and the flying web stuff and-”

“I get it!” Peter yelled back in frustration.

“Right…” Torch responded just kind of floating there. “So…I’ve gotta bounce but if you need an exterminator again feel free to call.” The Torch winked as Peter sat on the alley floor in his Spider-Man suit.

“Cool…thanks but I’ve got this. You know, bug to pseudo-bug-arachnid man.” The Torch shrugged and flew off, probably to his fancy tower or beloved fans. Spider-Man stood up and went to launch his web only to have it jam and fall pathetically in front of him. Peter sighed, as it turned out extreme heat and moth goop were not good for web shooters. This was not his day at all.

_______________

Peter slammed his locker only to be startled to see MJ right behind it. Some spider senses, Peter thought bitterly as he held his hand over his heart willing it to calm down.

“Peter.”  MJ said seriously not looking the least bit remorseful.  Peter was often surprised that he was the one hiding super powers.  MJ was a regular Black Widow in training in his books.

“MJ, you’re going to give me a heart attack.” MJ raised her eyebrow as Peter tried to shuffle all of his books into a less haphazard stack.

“You forgot to turn your internship application into the Daily Bugle. Come on Pete, what’s up? You were so stoked about the whole thing, not only will it diversify your college application but it’s a paid internship!  Paid!” I was, Peter thought until I became a radioactive punching bag for J. Jonah Jameson. Peter sighed.

“I don’t know MJ, I was thinking of maybe just doing one with Harry’s dad’s lab? I mean even scientists need someone to do coffee runs, right?” It wasn’t a total lie, except for the fact that Peter didn’t really want to put Harry in the position of having to ask his dad for anything.

“You wouldn’t do that and we both know it, Parker. Besides, we both know that if you were going to work with anyone you’d try Connors first. Don’t worry though, I sent in your application.” MJ said dismissively.

“You did what?”  Peter dropped his books.  MJ just stared at him judgingly as Peter bent down to pick his books up while people stared as they passed by.

“I need someone I can trust on my team Pete. Someone who always goes after the story, plus you never miss a beat on Spider-Man and Jameson lives for that kind of dirt.” MJ turned and started walking to class. Great, he thought, I’m going to be trying to dish dirt on myself. This’ll never backfire. “First day is this Friday!”

“But I have…” Peter paused, it wasn’t like he could say I have to patrol New York to figure out why these weird moth things are coming out of the sewers. “…Things.” Peter winced. Great cover Parker, he thought to himself. MJ turned sharply.

“Things?”

“I’ll be there!” Peter smiled and waved with false joviality. MJ pursed her lips but then walked away and Peter sighed in relief. MJ was one of the nicest people he knew until someone got in the way of her journalistic ambitions.

“Bring your camera!” He heard her yell as she walked away.

________

There turned out to be some sort of photo shoot or something. MJ dragged him over as soon as she saw him and strung a press pass around his neck. “Finally!”

“What are we doing here MJ? Shouldn’t we be at the Bugle office you know brewing coffee making copies, intern stuff?”

“I was talking to Harry and he let it slip that Cosmo is doing a big exclusive on one of the big superheroes, so I dropped it to Jameson and obviously I need photographs so that’s why you’re here.” MJ continued to drag him until they started nearing the sounds of club music and laughter.

“Cosmo? What kind of superhero does interviews with Cosmo?”

“Ironman did an interview with Cosmo.” MJ snapped back as she started craning her neck hoping to figure out who it was a moment faster. Peter didn’t have much to say to that so he just pulled out his camera.  "Even if there's no dirt we have to build our reputations, Pete!  We can be the go-to Press team for Super-heroes!"  Peter bit his tongue and kept himself from reminding her that they worked for the Bugle and as far as positive press coverage went, Jameson was a wild card.  Unless you were Spider-Man, then it was guaranteed negative press.

“That’s it Johnny, amazing! Do you think you could go like half-flame?” More laughter echoed through the hall.  Peter's mood soured.  He had just heard that laugh yesterday.

“I know what you mean. People are going to want to see these abs and this face!” Peter felt like gagging. He figured out who it was before they got to the room. Other than Ironman what big superhero would grace Cosmo proudly? The Human Torch, the youngest member of the Fantastic Four and the first person to remind you he topped the Hottest Heroes Under 20 list. 

“Oh wow, it’s the Human Torch, Johnny Storm.” MJ whispered to Peter. Peter just hummed back. Maybe it was a little childish to be upset but he totally had that thing with the weird mutant moth under control last night. Peter leant against the wall while MJ milled around talking to people trying to figure out what the big scoop was here. ‘There always has to be a reason for an exclusive Peter!’ she had said. Yeah, Peter thought, and the reason is Johnny Storm loves the attention. Peter fiddled with his camera. Action shots were more his thing, particularly somehow managing to take action selfies of himself as Spider-Man or a few of his supercharged enemies. Pictures of egotistical superhero’s shirtless? Not really his area.

“Alright everyone let's break for lunch! Those were amazing Johnny the girls are going to go wild!” Johnny laughed again and started talking to the staff around him showing the different tricks he could do with his powers. Everyone applauded and cheered at every trick while Peter continued to slump against the wall and tried to keep his glaring to a minimum. How come Flame Brain wasn’t a public menace? He can literally set fire to himself and everything around him at any time. All Peter was doing was catching bad guys, Spinning out webs and climbing walls. So maybe he could see why janitorial staff might hate him but not really everyone else. Maybe Jameson had a spider phobia he didn’t want to talk about. Peter felt his phone buzz and looked down pulled it out of his pocket.

Stop glaring at the Human Torch like he stole your girl and get me some pictures!!!!! - MJ

Peter sighed and put his phone way and tried to focus on taking pictures. If it was photos of socialising Flame Brain Jameson wanted then it was photos of that he was going to get. Who knows maybe JJJ would decide Flame Brain was his new target. Peter floated around the room aimlessly taking pictures and trying to go unnoticed, something he was pretty good at when it came to social circles. His pocket buzzed again.

Of the Human Touch Pete!!! What am I going to do with 500 photos of the snack table? - MJ

“It wasn’t five-hundred photos.” Peter mumbled. Sighing he resigned himself to his fate and joined the other paparazzi-like photographers who were all taking photos of the Human Touch who was doing his signature poses and dramatically showing off his powers. Peter started taking a few as well and felt MJ stop beside him. “Figure anything out?” He asked quietly, the barrage of compliments from other paparazzi easily covering his own voice.

“Not really. At least I’m not sure. I think I know how they’re going to spin the article so that’s a plus.” MJ frowned while watching all the photographers take their photos. Peter knew how MJ felt. None of these photos were going to look any different than any of the other papers and their information wasn’t going to be any different.

“I could have gotten us better photos in a sewer.” Peter muttered just a little too loudly. While Peter looked down at another posed photo MJ watched with a little bit of surprise as the Human Torch perked up a little bit and looked over towards them. A small smirk crossed her face as an idea came to her, she winked at the Human Torch who seemed to catch on and move towards them a little bit.

“What you gonna follow Spider-Man around in them, fanboy?” Peter could feel she was baiting him, but he really couldn’t help himself. If Peter didn’t defend Spider-Man who was going to?

“You’ve loved every single photo I’ve ever taken in the sewers and Spider-Man does not live in a sewer. I’m sure he has a reasonable place to sleep if he has time considering he’s very busy making sure weird mutant things don’t make people go splat.”

“Eloquent, Parker.” MJ shot back. Peter groaned. “Still means you’re crawling around sewers.”

“Not like this place isn’t full of the same stuff.” Peter mumbled mostly to himself.

“Well, that’s an interesting take for a Journalist.” Peter looked back towards where the Human Torch had been only to find him a lot closer than he had been before.  

“I’m not really a journalist.” Peter said before he could think of what he was saying. Johnny just hummed quietly and turned his attention to MJ.

“You must be Mary Jane Watson, always nice to meet someone from the Bugle.” The Torch said holding his hand out to MJ.

“Always nice to meet someone who can read a press pass.” Peter accidentally mumbled out loud drawing everyone's attention to him. He stopped and gaped a little. He really, really needed more sleep so he didn’t keep doing that. A loud laughter broke the awkward silence relaxing everyone as they began milling around again. Johnny waved to most of the photographers and staff who decided they should get ready for the next part of the interview. The other press people sighed and went to go rob the snack table and take some photos from a bit further back.

“I have to grab lunch, care to tag along?” Johnny asked.

“We’d love to!” MJ quickly intervened before Peter could say something stupid again that would get them fired from the internship she’d just gotten them.

“Great! And maybe I can know your adorably grumpy friend’s name as well?”

“You can’t read my press pass?” Peter said before he could stop himself. MJ punched him in the arm making him wince, he still had a bruise there from yesterday. Thankfully for his arm, Johnny laughed again.

“Wouldn’t you rather tell me?” Johnny said with a smirk. Peter sighed.

“Peter Parker.” He held out his hand and quickly had it grasped by the other man.

“Human Torch, of the Fantastic Four - named for my hotness. This years Hottest Hero under the year, in more ways than one.  I also go by Johnny, Johnny Storm.” He winked as he continued to hold onto Peter’s hand.

“So you’re not called the Human Torch because you literally turn into a giant flame then?” Peter practically heard MJ face palm beside him. Probably more to her relief than his, Johnny laughed again.

“Maybe it’s more because of that.” Johnny smiled. “I know a great place follow me.” He said wrapping his arm around Peter’s shoulder and dragging him along. Peter turned his head and sent a panicked look back towards MJ only to find her laughing at him as she followed along.

___

Johnny talked almost non-stop as they walked towards the diner across the way. It apparently had the most amazing cherries jubilee, the Human Torch was un-ironically a massive fan of all flaming desserts. Peter tried to remain grumpy, he really did but somehow Johnny just seemed really genuinely nice.

“Ugh, teas never hot enough.” Johnny sighed heating it up with his hand before drinking it. Peter watched in a little bit of fascination.

“So literally nothing burns you?” He asked before he could stop himself.

“Why does that put a damper on your BDSM plans with me?” Johnny winked. Peter gaped back and turned bright red as MJ laughed.

“I was just wondering about the extent of it.” Peter stuttered “You know, chemical burns and…burns ugh never mind.” MJ kept laughing

“No, I don’t burn” Johnny smiled “That was one of Cosmo’s questions actually. How does Johnny Storm remain so perfectly sun kissed when he can’t burn but my dashing good looks are just one part of my power I’m not ready to reveal to the world.” Sensing an opening for questions MJ jumped in.

“So what were you ready to reveal?”

“Almost anything, it really just depends on how good the question is and how many gag orders there are on the information.” Johnny smiled. “And of course, who's asking it.” He winked at Peter who just looked back at him confused.

“So what do you want Peter to ask you?” Johnny smiled at MJ in appreciation while Peter frowned.

“How about what you think of other Superhero's?” Peter cut in before this could go anywhere else.

“Wow, you’re really no fun.” Johnny smiled leaning forwards towards Peter.

“I know right? He’s absolutely no fun!” MJ explained feeling someone finally understood.

“Well, I did meet Spider-Man last night. He was a little caught up fighting this weird moth thing seemed like a nice enough guy though. Kind of a nice figure.” Johnny said as if deep in thought. Great, Peter thought sarcastically, that’s my lasting impression. “He kind of has a bad reputation though, doesn’t he? I wonder why…” Peter’s Spidey sense started tingling. He looked around curiously which caught MJ’s attention.

“Pete?  What’s up?”

“Umm…just gotta-“ Peter said as he started to stand up.

“Get down!” He heard Johnny yell as he suddenly felt weight push him down to the ground. Peter blinked and looked up to see the Human Torch above him. “Not exactly how I wanted to get on top of you.” Johnny winked. Peter sputtered a bit until he heard a buzzing and looked behind Johnny to see another of the weird giant moth things. Johnny pulled Peter’s attention back to him. “Stay down okay? I’m going to take care of this and be right back. If you need to take MJ and go towards the building where the photo shoot was, it actually has crazy good security.” Johnny stood up. “Flame on!” Peter watched as he walked towards the moth which quickly started to flee from him. Man those things really hated fire. Peter kind of lay on the floor still until he heard more buzzing. Great, he thought, there was an army of them.

“I knew I should have skipped this and gone to the sewers” Peter mumbled to himself.

“Pete we have to get out of here!” MJ shouted as people screamed and started hiding and running from the giant moths that were starting to fly beside the building.

“Umm, yeah…let’s head back to the studio.” Peter said while also trying to think of how he could ditch MJ while getting her to safety so he could slip into Spidey-mode. A moth burst through the glass just in time for Peter to grab a well-timed photo of it, how could JJJ not like that? “Now’s probably good!” Peter said a little strained as it started coming towards him. What was with all these moth’s and him? It’s like they had an appetite for spiders or something.

Chapter Text

Peter ducked to the side and grabbed a metal tray a waitress had dropped in a panic. Come on Pete, he thought, you’ve seen Cap do this before how hard can it be? Sure it had been on TV, but digital learning is a thing now. Peter dropped back and sent the metal tray spinning forwards colliding with the moth. It buzzed weakly as it flew backwards with the force of the tray hitting it. “Come on let’s go!” Peter yelled over the commotion grabbing MJ’s hand and pulling her along.

“Are you getting photos?” MJ yelled as they ran. Peter sighed, he’d been planning to get them while he was Spider-Man but if he was supposed to be locked in the compound with MJ that might get a little hard for her to believe. Peter pulled MJ out the door and paused quickly when they reached the street to snap a quick photo. As he turned he found the 5 moths that had surrounded the diner looking eerily back at him. Yep, he thought, they’ve definitely got a taste for spiders.

“We better move fast.” He told MJ walking back slowly towards the other building.

“Pete…” MJ said eerily slowly and calmly.

“What?” MJ didn’t answer. Peter broke eye contact with the moths and turned towards her. “What?” MJ just pointed in front of her where 5 more moths hovered between them and the next building. “Great…got any more of those waitress trays?” MJ didn’t laugh. Peter watched as people ran around a few literally running into the moths without the moths reacting at all. “MJ do you trust me?”

“What?” Peter ignored her and held onto her hand. It might be a bad idea if his hunch was right about them following him, but it was better than leaving MJ in the middle of the street surrounded by weird giant moths. Those long black tongues were seriously creepy.

“Keep eye contact with the moths.” Peter took a step to the left bringing MJ with him. None of the moths moved. Taking a deep breath Peter moved them forwards towards MJ’s moths.

“Peter…” MJ said warningly.

“Just trust me. We're going to slowly walk towards the door and then when we reach your moths I’m going to turn and stare at them and you’re going to make a run for the door.” They kept walking as Peter spoke MJ’s hand getting a bit sweatier. “They’re kind of fluffy if you think about it.”

“What are you going to do then?” MJ asked when they had almost reached the moths on her side.

“Who knows maybe they just want a hug.”

“Peter!” Peter just sighed in response. “I can’t get any closer without breaking eye contact.” MJ muttered.

“Okay. You ready?” MJ squeezed his hand back in response. “I’m going to let go of your hand and you’re going to run for it in 3-2-1-Run.” Peter let go and turned around quickly making eye contact with the moths on MJ’s side as she ran past them. Who knows why the eye contact was working, Peter wasn’t going to dwell on it but they did usually buzz to quickly to make eye contact with. Maybe he and MJ just had really pretty eyes. Peter watched as MJ passed them and slammed into the Studio door. Scanning her pass she pulled the door open and turned back to look at Peter. He felt more than heard the moths getting closer behind him. Guess I have to run for it so MJ doesn’t watch me get eaten alive but mutant lizard moths, he thought. Peter took off not bothering to stare at the other moths anymore. They all buzzed around him.

“Close the door MJ! I've got a different plan!” He yelled as he ran to the side and rolled under a few of them. If he could just get to a bush or around the building then he could say he’d been hiding out there the whole time. They seemed to be more swarm and attack kind of creatures than actually strategic so that benefited him. As he went to get up he felt a moth spit goo at him sealing his foot to the sidewalk. Peter pulled at his foot. Oh man, he thought, I can’t believe I’ve been bested by brainless moths twice. Peter reached beside him and felt a loose branch on the ground. Better than nothing. Hoisting it up he brought it forward to see, it was really more of a twig. Oh man, he thought. The moth paused at the twig as if it too almost couldn’t believe what a sad defense that was. “Stay back!” Peter said uselessly. To his surprise, the moth started to back away a bit. “What? They’re afraid of twigs?” Peter frowned until he felt a somewhat familiar heat behind him. He cranked his neck and saw Johnny Storm descending from the sky.

“Not exactly what I told you to do.” He said sounding a little disapproving as he bent down and melted the goo around Peter’s foot to release it.

“What are you talking about? MJ’s totally in the studio building.” Peter shot back. Johnny raised an eyebrow at him and swooped an arm underneath him. “What are you doing. Hey!” Johnny picked Peter up princess style and brought him to the studio door that MJ held open and put him down inside the building. Peter crossed his arms and fumed.

“Sorry” Johnny shrugged not looking apologetic at all. Didn’t think you were going to go inside.” Johnny smiled and shut the door. Damn straight I wasn’t, Peter thought, I was going to dive behind the building and come back as Spider-Man and Peter Parker was going to have the very cool story of hiding in a bush taking photos. Peter sighed already planning his exit when he heard metal stretching. He looked over to see Johnny melting the door closed with his hand.

“WHAT THE HELL MAN!” Peter yelled as Johnny winked and took off again. As soon as Johnny left to go take care of more moths a bunch came back and swarmed the door throwing themselves at it.

“We should go further inside Pete.” MJ said already backing away from the door. Peter frowned and nodded. It’s not like Johnny’s extermination was going to do anything he thought, the moths ran away as soon as they saw him. It would take him forever to figure out if he got them all or not. Spider-Man on the other hand, Peter thought, seemed to be a magnet for them. All he had to do now was find out how to escape a supposedly secure building.

“I’m going to go upstairs and see if I can get better photos.” Peter said casually as he started running up the stairs away from MJ.

“Peter!” She yelled afterwards but he wasn’t listening. MJ was fine inside the building, besides if they turned out to not have good security then worst came to worst MJ could totally find some sort of weapon, it’s not like she was helpless when it came to self-defense. Finally alone, Peter quickly slipped into his suit and got to work finding a way out. The front door was out now thanks to a certain flame brain and if the moths were actually tracking him any door near people put too many of them at risk. The lock down alarm sounded and Peter sighed. Great, even worse. He needed a security flaw to get out, but if he exploited it he put everyone in the building at risk.

“There must be some way to make a temporary exit.” Peter thought out loud. He heard footsteps in the distance and quickly webbed himself to the ceiling.

“Why is it always New York? I never hear about Philly getting attacked by giant bugs that’s all I’m saying.” The two men in security uniforms passed underneath.

“You get that fire door in sector 23 fixed? I mean usually we’re just keeping fangirls out but I really don’t wanna see a giant moth in here.”

“Ugh yeah of course I did.” That sounds like a no to me, thought Peter. Guess I’ll try that fire door first. Not like it matters, he thought as he crawled the ceiling towards the other side of the building, it’s not like moths have hands to open fire doors.

Finding sector 23 turned out to be more difficult than Peter thought. After a few wrong turns and a bit of aimless wandering, he arrived at a door that seemed right. “Great so all I have to do is slip outside. Get the drop on some giant moths, figure out where the moths are coming from and then have some photos of some Spidey action for MJ and JJJ, ugh their names are too similar when I say it like that.” Peter paused and pushed open the door slipping outside it quickly. He paused. “HAHA Bingo!” Peter put a web coating on the door just to be safe and keep anyone or thing more dexterous thing that was working with these moths out.

“Well, that wasn’t so…” A loud buzzing filled his ears. Peter looked up to see a swarm of moths staring down at him. “…Bad? Right then…nice moths?” The moths started buzzing louder. “Well not that this chat hasn’t been nice but I think I have to-“ Peter shot out his web and pulled himself out of there. Soon a swarm of moths followed him as he ran and swung from building to building. “Why do they like me so much?” Peter wondered aloud slightly panicked. “Think Spidey think!” Peter thought back to his first encounter with one of the moths, it had just kind of been super mellow other than the fact that it ate someone's dog and hadn’t really panicked until he’d tried to take a sample and then it slimed him with the non-cementing goo that he could just wipe off. “Awe man, did it jizz on me? Is that why they’re all chasing me.” Peter felt someone start to fly next to him and he looked over. “Human Torch?”

“Good job on driving those moths away from civilians Spidey.” Johnny said. Might as well take credit for it, Peter thought.

“Ugh yeah sure.”

“They interrupted my photoshoot and my smooth talking game, these things are evil.” Peter lost his concentration at that remark a little and had to recover a bit from a bad swing. Smooth talking? So the Human Torch was trying to chat Peter Parker up? Well, that was…weird? Unless maybe it was like you smooth talk the friend so the hot one hits on you and you don’t even have to hit on them? Yeah, that was probably it, Peter thought.

“I don’t know about that, I’m not really sure where they’re coming from or what they want though.”

“Well you just keep luring them and I’ll fry them up.” Johnny pulled back and started frying moths one by one. Peter sighed, this wasn’t really how he figured his first fantastic four team up was going to go. He was thinking some cool space adventure, not a classic ‘Spidey look what crawled out of the sewers today!’ adventure. He wasn’t even sure if they should be frying them. Maybe they just came through a portal or something like when all those dinosaurs escaped from Strange Land.

“Listen Flame Brain these are my moths so…and he’s gone already.” Peter sighed and then felt a moth collide with his back smashing him into a building. “Umph. Okay, that’s it! I’m officially not going to make you my moth army now!” Peter pushed back with all his strength and flipped himself so he was above the buzzing moth that just stared at him. “This would be so much easier if you could talk to me.” Peter felt his spidey senses tingle and jumped out of the way just in time to avoid the teeth of one of the moths. “Well they’re just bugs, right? So I’ll just catch them in a web.” Peter propelled off of the building and started spinning a web between the two. Damn it, he thought as he messed up the web weave to avoid a moth that was diving at him. I’m really going to need Johnny to distract these things for a moment. Where did he even go though? Peter looked up and saw Johnny chasing moths around they sky and away from civilians, mostly. How to get his attention though?

“Breaking News!” J. Jonah Jameson’s voice echoed through the city from his jumbotron.

“That’ll work I guess” Peter mumbled.

“Public Menace Spider-Man has brought an army of angry Moth’s with him into the city to destroy public property! Thankfully the Human Torch seems to be in town and is working on destroying Spider-Man’s army of mutant moths! This is the-“ A moth crashed through the jumbotron stopping JJJ’s rant.

“Man he must have so much insurance on those 'trons.” Peter felt a heat next to him again as the moth he was struggling to keep away from him fled.

“Yo Spider-Man, these are your moths?”

“Yes you know me, I just love collecting dangerous Moth’s that seem determined to eat me and destroy the city-NO THESE AREN’T MY MOTHS!”

“I was just checking” Johnny put his hands up in mock surrender. “But they do seem pretty obsessed with you. Did you stand them up or something?”

“If you weren’t a giant ball of flame right now I would punch you in the face.” Peter said.

“What?”

“I mean, if you can keep the moths away I can spin this web and then all you have to do is chase them back into it.” Torch nodded to Peter’s relief. He really, really needed to stop talking out loud. Sure enough, Johnny kept the Moth’s away and then Peter set to spinning a web to catch them. He was definitely the enemy of all janitors. “NOW TORCH!” Peter yelled signaling to lead the moths into the web. Johnny chased them straight into it and flew up at the last moment. Peter swooped in quickly and secured the moths more firmly to the web. Torch landed beside the web and put his hand up to set fire to it. “Wait!” Peter called. Johnny paused. “We don’t even know if they know what they’re doing. I’m going to take a sample and figure out what’s up with them, maybe I can get the back to normal or at least recognize the genetic coding techniques to figure out who sent them.”

“What-a-what now?” Johnny said sounding confused.

“Just don’t torch them okay? All they’ve done is eat a few dogs and cause hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage. Seriously how does anyone get insured in this city?” Johnny stared at Peter a bit and then nodded. Peter climbed his web to the closest angrily buzzing moth. “Nice moth, just gonna take a sample and hopefully return you to your life as a normal non-deadly moth…or lizard if that’s what you were. I don’t know man the tongue confuses me.” Peter got his sample and heard sirens in the background. He groaned in frustration, he wasn't even sure if he got enough good selfie shots to sell to Jameson. Peter looked over at Johnny who was still watching him. Well, Peter thought, he’d definitely notice me trying to take a selfie right now. “So I have to jet soon, the cops and I are kind of on a break right now - you know Ross and Rachel style? But can you take a photo of me and these moths for my media liaison?”

“There’s no way you have a media liaison, you have a terrible image.” Johnny said with a raised eyebrow. Peter heard the sirens getting closer.

“Look it’s not my fault the guy just got hired! Ugh, whatever!” Peter tossed the camera to the Human Torch, who thankfully caught it. Shrugging Johnny lifted the camera and pressed the button a few times. “Thanks, man gotta go!” He yelled as he webbed away. If he got to the roof of the studio he could probably switch back and maybe sneak back in before anyone got worried? It had only been like 15 minutes, okay maybe 30.

_________________

Peter landed on the roof and quickly pulled out an extra set of clothes. It’s a good thing Peter Parker was a book nerd, otherwise people would be more inclined to check his backpack. Having 5 different sets of identical clothing at all times was a bit less normal than textbooks. The clothing did come in handy for protecting samples from breaking though, the high school textbooks he did carry were not exactly glass vial friendly. Peter pulled out his camera to check his shots.

“Oh man these are terrible, for someone who loves getting his photo taken the Human Torch can not take a photo to save his life.” Peter looked through bad photo after bad photo. They were either crooked, our of focus or had a thumb in the way. The only good photo was one Johnny had turned on himself to test the camera. Of course, the Human Torch’s selfie was somehow in perfect focus. “Okay Parker, now you just have to get back inside the crazy secure building. The front door is out, the side door is webbed…vents? Never mind the buildings on lockdown it’ll show that someone tried to enter.” Peter heard a bit of activity below. He looked over the side and saw Johnny had returned to un-melt the door so people could leave. He watched as Johnny walked in to go tell everyone that the coast was clear. As long as he goes down the hall, Peter thought, I can just slip in after and pretend I was just upstairs. Peter looked around and dropped down the side of the building. Just go for it Parker, he thought. Slipping through the door Johnny was nowhere in sight. Peter breathed a sigh of relief and walked down the hall towards where the photoshoot had been and MJ probably was.

“Have you seen Peter?” He heard MJ asking.

“I literally sealed him inside the building I don’t see where else he would be.” He heard Johnny answering. They were probably going to have to talk about that, Peter thought, that was super not cool.

“Yeah, that was probably not your best idea…” MJ answered. Peter felt his heart swell, so MJ was his friend and not just selling him out to get a better scoop.

“You have better ideas for dealing with your friend?” Johnny asked slyly.

“A few…” MJ answered. Never mind, Peter thought, MJ was a traitor. “…We should find him first though.” That was his cue.

“I was just upstairs trying to get some better photos.” Peter muttered as he walked into the room. MJ looked over immediately and her eyes welled a little. Oh crap, Peter thought, she was genuinely worried. “Hey, I’m fine. I’m always fine MJ.” MJ walked over and hugged Peter.

“Stop doing that!” MJ punched him in the arm. “Next time I’m going to tell Aunt May on you.” Peter smiled. Johnny stared at the two of them.

“What?” Peter asked. Johnny shook his head.

“Nothing I just thought you were wearing a different shade of blue before.” Johnny turned and walked away to talk to the Cosmo crew about whether they wanted to continue or reschedule. Peter froze. Was his shirt a different shade of blue? Either way, he did have to get his clothes from the janitors closet and then he had to figure out what was up with these moths.

“MJ I have to-“

“Run away before Johnny Storm comes back?” She cut in with a smirk.

“Not the excuse I was going to go with but sure.” Peter frowned. MJ waved him away.

“We have a meeting at the Bugle tomorrow, bring your photos.”

_________

Peter collapsed once he got home. Every muscle in his body ached. Stupid super humans with their invulnerability and ability to scare away mutant moths. Peter sighed as he crawled out of his bed and emptied his bag. He was going to have to wait until Monday to look at the samples when he could stay after school in the science lab. His home microscope and a computer just weren't going to cut it with this analysis. He couldn’t decide what was going to be worse: his meeting with JJJ and MJ tomorrow or school on Monday. If these moths kept showing up, maybe neither would be what ruined his Monday.

Chapter Text

A paper slammed down on the desk in front of them by the hand of J. Jonah Jameson. “What does this say!” He asked in his usual obnoxiously loud voice.

“Rent increases are causing-“

“At the top of the page Parker!” JJJ cut in. Peter sighed knowing where this was going already. He wasn’t sure why.  Their action photo’s of the moth’s and Johnny had been better than anyone else’s. He’d even gotten a photo of Spider-Man looking like he caught his foot in a rope and desperately avoiding a moth, it wasn’t like he was going to get an ego boost from the Bugle after all.

“The Daily Sun.”

“THE DAILY SUN!” JJJ Echoed. “So tell me Parker, why page 4 is in The Daily Sun and not the Bugle?” Peter sighed and turned to Page 4 and felt his face heat up.

“This is…not what it looks like?” Peter tried. MJ leant over and looked at what was on page 4 of the Sun and tried to not laugh. A full page spread of the Sun had been dedicated to the Human Torch and his new mysterious conquest, an unknown male. There was a paragraph long description that might as well be an ode to Johnny Storm which ended in ‘accompanied by brown haired everyman.’

“Johnny Storm Turns Up the Heat With New Surprisingly Average Boy-toy” JJJ read. “Is not what it looks like?” Peter looked at the unfortunate photos. There was one of him and Johnny talking for the first time at the Photoshoot, then another of Johnny on top of him at the diner, and finally one of Johnny caring him princess style to safety.

“Okay well, the second and third one only happened because of a giant moth.” Where had the camera man been during the princess style one anyways? People were the worst, who saw a guy about to be eaten by a giant moth and decided the best course of action was to take a photo. I mean he did that, but he was also usually dressed as Spider-Man and stopped the guy from getting eaten.

“We brought you a solid story worthy of the Bugle.” MJ cut in looking stern. “Photos of the Flaming Torch fighting the Moths, damage assessments, eye-witness accounts, embarrassing photos of Spider-Man. The Bugle is above tabloid trash.” MJ tried. JJJ paused and stared her down. MJ didn’t blink.

“I like you kid.” He finally said. “You’re right this is tabloid trash.” Peter didn’t know how he felt about that. On one hand, he was now in the clear as an intern, on the other hand, he had just been called tabloid trash. “The problem is that when I get scooped on someone who’s supposed to be in my fold it looks bad. We need to get on top of this before it gets out that Patrick here works for the Bugle.” JJJ stared at them and then sighed. Peter felt like sighing too, apparently, his name was now Patrick Parker. “An exclusive kid, do a weekly column about dating a superhero in the social section.”

“What?” Peter screeched out. “But I’m not dating a superhero!” Peter looked over at MJ for support but she had a dangerous gleam in her eyes. Come on MJ, he thought, you’re better than this.

“Mr Jameson, wouldn’t it be more useful to have Peter as an in for communicating with the superhero community rather than a gossip column. We’d be the go to source for them then.” JJJ put his feet up on his desk and looked out the window thoughtfully.

“Fine. Patrick you don’t have to write that column but if I get scooped by the Sun again you’d better be ready to write! Nice work with that dangling Spider-Man photo. I’m thinking page 4 full spread, ‘Spider-Man becomes human tetherball for moths while Human Torch saves the day!’ Now that’s a real hero, walking around with his face out and everything.” MJ and Peter just nodded along. “Why are you guys still here? Go get me a story!”

“Yes sir!” MJ answered pulling Peter out after her. MJ continued to pull Peter along until they reached a more secluded part of the hallway. “So…The Human Torch’s new boy-toy?” MJ asked. Peter groaned and slumped against the wall.

“People were getting attacked by giant mutant moths, how did they have time to think ‘oh I should take photos of this poor guy who keeps getting almost eaten by them.’”

“So you going to call him?” MJ teased. Peter groaned and started walking away as MJ laughed and followed. “Wait, Peter tell me about your secret love life! Wait ’til Harry hears about this he’s going to lose it!”

“No! We are not telling Harry about this MJ!” Peter called back. MJ kept laughing

“I’m pretty sure he can recognize his best friend.”

____

“Harry, buddy, my best friend - light of my life!” Peter said when Harry opened the door to his apartment. MJ had insisted on them going there and still looked like she was going to burst out laughing at any moment.

“I can’t believe you got a boyfriend and didn’t tell me Peter.” Harry said in mock offense.

“Harry…no. MJ I can't believe you told him!” MJ and Harry both started laughing as Harry leaned against the door.

“But Pete, it must be true love I mean those photos were just so daring. I could really feel the love couldn’t you MJ?” Peter groaned and pushed past Harry to mope on his couch instead of in the hall. “So MJ which one of them started it? Was it Johnny Storm who's even hotter with his flame off or the surprisingly average unknown male?” Peter picked up a pillow and threw it at Harry who continued laughing.

“I’m never going to get a date now.” Peter groaned. Oh well, he thought, it wasn’t like anyone other than the moths had been super into him before anyways.

“Oh come on Pete, he looked pretty into you I think if you just ask him…” MJ started still laughing while she spoke. Peter glared. Harry gave Peter a momentary look of sympathy.

“You know if you want to be set up - with someone else who's not the Human Torch...” Harry started. Peter smiled.

“Thanks Harry, really. But we both know whoever you set me up will actually want to go out with you.” MJ hummed quietly behind them. “So is Gwen coming?” Peter asked changing the subject.

“Nah, her dad’s a bit worried about the moths.” Harry started. “Apparently they don’t know where they’re coming from either. They checked with all the labs and it’s not an escaped experiment. I mean yeah sometimes the labs try to cover up but with all the ‘accidents’ lately, they’re a bit more honest now.” That was good to know, Peter thought. Not that the labs were more honest, he didn’t believe that for a moment, but if no one was claiming credit yet it was probably a bigger problem than The Human Torch seemed to think. Whatever, Peter thought, sewer monsters are Spider-Man’s thing. Fancy beloved space heroes are unnecessary here. “Seriously though Pete” Harry said cutting into Peter’s internal thoughts. “Don’t worry about it, this’ll all blow over.”

Peter smiled. He hoped so. Spider-Man might be in the media all the time, but Peter Parker preferred to stay out of it unless it was his name credited on a photo that helped him ease Aunt May’s burden and pay his school fees.

_____________

“Hey Parker, you have a hot date this weekend?” Flash Thompson called out for the 15th time today when he passed by.

“Seriously Flash? There are so many more puns you could use, do you have to use the same one every time?” Peter shot back. Flash just laughed and shoved him towards a locker. Peter fumed. If only Flash decided to rob a store or something, then Spidey could dangle him from a roof somewhere, safely of course. It wouldn’t be so bad but Peter Parker was never going to run into Johnny Storm again and everyone knew it. Peter sighed, maybe he was just lucky Aunt May and her friends didn’t read the Sun. He made his way to the science lab with the moth samples in his bag. Maybe a school science lab wasn’t the best place for super secret Spidey tests but it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t a billionaire like Stark who could afford his own lab.

“Hey Gwen” Peter waved at Gwen who was bent over a microscope. She looked up and smiled.

“Hey Pete, I thought you finished your Chem report in class?”

“Oh, this is just something extra I’m working on and my home lab is…well not really a lab. Plus I love Aunt May too much to try anything too dangerous in her house.” Peter rubbed the back of his head. Gwen smiled and leant back slightly.

“I think you mean you’re too scared to try anything too dangerous in her house.” Peter chuckled. That was true, Aunt May was probably the only thing in the world that he was still genuinely afraid of sometimes. “Need any help?” She asked.

“Not sure yet, I’ll let you know. You’ve got the Oscorp internship right?”

“Partially because someone didn’t apply.” Gwen responded.

“You know I needed something that paid, besides Conners lets me drop in on his lab sometimes. I don’t really want to bring him into this if I don’t have to though.” Gwen nodded understanding.

“So what do the samples have to do with Oscorp?” She asked.

“I don’t know if they have anything to do with them yet. I’m just not super familiar with their signatures when it comes to genetic mods, they keep them pretty close to themselves so I might ask.” Gwen nodded and Peter went back to work analyzing the sample. "Don't tell Harry though, I don't want him thinking I think his Dad is up to something." Gwen nodded and continued working. Hours of silence passed before Peter heard some rustling as Gwen started to pack up.

“Come on Pete, time to call it a day. The school’s going to be closing soon.” Peter sighed and slumped. Nowhere, he’d gotten nowhere. Well, not completely but the analysis hadn’t told him anything other than what he had already figured out by fighting the moths. “Walk me home?” Gwen asked. Peter smiled and nodded.

“Well I mean the bus is going to do most of the work but sure."  Peter responded with a smile. "Thanks for keeping me company Gwen.”

“I was going to be here anyways, someone had to make sure you didn’t fall asleep here.” Gwen leaned against the table as she waited for Peter to pack up. “You’re going to take them with you?” Gwen asked as Peter started to pack them up.

“Yeah, something just doesn’t sit right about leaving them here.”

“What are the samples from anyways?” Gwen asked as they started to head out of the door of the lab.

“Uh…”

“Peter…” Gwen said warningly squinting at Peter a little bit as they walked towards the bus stop.

“They might be from a giant mutant moth?” Peter tried a bit sheepishly.

“You really need normal hobbies. Harry has normal hobbies.” Peter laughed as Gwen sighed. “So tell me what’s so weird about this sample? Other than the fact that it came from a giant moth.”

“I don’t know, I mean…it might not even be the mutant moths themselves? Maybe it’s like something trying to control the moths and the moths are just there?”

“Giant mutant moths are just there?” Gwen asked. Peter sighed.

“Basically I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never read so many articles about moths.” Peter sighed. Gwen whistled.

“Jameson paying you enough to go that in-depth on your internship work?” Peter paused. He hadn’t even thought about that, that was a pretty good cover though. “Well I don’t know how much it helps but moth’s see differently than humans. They see in ultraviolet and actually navigate based on either the stars or geomagnetic clues, which is probably what they’re doing since you can never really see the stars here. If they’re acting disorientated or swarming strangely that might be it. You know kind of like when you turn a lamp on when you’re camping and then all the sudden you’re covered in moths?”

“Thanks Gwen I’ll keep that in mind. Are the police holding the ones Spider-Man captured?”

“No, I think some suits took them instead. Housing superhuman criminals is hard enough, I don’t think they wanted to add super-charged moths to the mix.” Peter nodded as he and Gwen waited for the bus in comfortable silence. “How are you liking the Bugle anyways?” Gwen asked as the bus arrived. Peter shrugged.

“They keep wanting me to buy better camera but I’d wanted to give all the money to Aunt May, I don’t know I mean most of the photos go on the snapchat feed and online articles anyways so the dpi doesn’t actually have to be that high but if they ever want to use them on the tv they have to be able to blow them up a bit larger.” Peter sighed and slumped into his seat on the bus towards Gwen’s. “I just don’t want to be a burden for Aunt May anymore.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t think of you as a burden.” Gwen responded softly.

“I know she doesn’t.” Peter said as he tried to muster a smile. “That doesn’t make me not one though. I’ve seen her stressed over bills and with college coming up…I just want to be able to start taking care of her soon, you know?” Gwen nodded.

“I get it. I might not be becoming a cop but sometimes I see my Dad go out into the field and I think if I can just do a bit more research or find ways to help him using what I’m good at maybe I can protect him for a change.”

“You’re kind of super cool Gwen.” Peter said looking at his friend. Gwen smiled.

“Yeah, I kind of am. You’re a super big dweeb though.”

“Oh yeah, I definitely am.”

“And kind of a massive nerd.”

“Why Gwen Stacey I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“And surprisingly average.”

“Rude. Surprisingly average or expectedly average?”

“Oh good one…hmm how about unsurprisingly average?”

“Ouch, I guess context plays into it though.”

“Well, we can’t all have hair that rivals the light emitted by the Milky Way that appears to be trapped in his eyes.” Gwen smiled quoting the article from the Sun at Peter. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I don’t know I’m really worried about what Flash thinks about me now.” Peter shot back teasingly. Gwen laughed as she pulled the cord for the bus to stop.

“Thanks for taking me home Peter.” She said as she got up to get off the bus. "Seriously, it was this or a police escort."

“No problem I’ll walk you to your door.”

“Are you sure," Gwen said with a frown as Peter stood to follow her. "You’ll have to wait for the next bus then.”

“Better than having your dad come after me for letting you walk a block to your house alone. You stayed later than you’d wanted to anyways because of me.” Peter shrugged as they stepped off the bus. It was surprisingly chilly outside, Peter thought as Gwen wrapped herself more tightly. It had been a while since Peter had walked around New York at night instead of swinging or fleeing from sewer creatures.

“Are you going to be okay getting home?” Gwen asked turning before she walked up the steps to her house.

“Yeah, worst comes to worst I’ll call Harry for a ride or something.” Peter waved as Gwen nodded and went inside her building. Or I could do a quick moth check and swing back home as Spidey, Peter thought. Peter glanced around and saw a decent amount of people walking around. “Or I could just walk as Peter Parker.” He mumbled feeling that there were too many people around. It wasn’t really a pressing enough moment for him to have to change in an alley anyways.

_____

“Note to self, teenage boy glancing suspiciously down alleys and into sewer drains draws only slightly less attention than Spider-Man. Well, this is a bust.” Peter sighed and decided to head the rest of the way home, he was getting tired and there were clearly no moth’s or moth controllers around. He was going to have to try the actual sewers soon, maybe he’d go out tonight after Aunt May got back from Cribbage Club and checked on him. He hadn’t really been patrolling anyways, mostly he’d just been walking home, he’d forgotten how slow walking was. Glass broke beside him as alarms started blaring from the electronic store nearby. “Oh come on!” Peter watched as a group of men rushed out of the building one of them holding a laptop. The men glanced around as people scattered. Peter, unfortunately, had remained fairly still. The man spotted him and pointed his gun.

“You there” The man called. Peter put his hands up trying to look harmless. “In the van!” Peter felt like sighing but felt that wouldn’t be very hostage appropriate behaviour. Calmly he walked forwards.

“Wait a minute Jack.” A third thief called from beside him. “I’ve seen this guy.”

“What are you talking about Brad? You going around volunteering at high schools or something, why the hell would you know this kid?” The man with the gun responded keeping his gun still trained on Peter. Peter had stopped walking forwards wanting to keep distance between them for as long as possible without agitating them.

“I don’t know him, I just said I’ve seen him.” Brad walked forward and leaned uncomfortably close to Peter’s face. His breath was terrible, he had eaten so much garlic.

“You guys should get out of here before Spider-Man or the cops get here.” Peter tried. If they would smart they would know they only had about 3 more minutes before the cops started arriving, hopefully.

“Please, I ain’t afraid of no Man-Spider. We’ll just hit’em with a newspaper or something and the cops can’t do nothin’ if we have a hostage.” One of the robbers said with a grin.

“Yeah, I have seen him!" Brad exclaimed. "This is the kid from the Sun, he’s the one with the Human Torch.” Peter couldn't stop himself from groaning. Great, even criminals thought he was with the Human Torch. Since when have so many people read the Sun anyway?

“I’m not with the Human Torch.” Peter sighed before he could stop himself.

“Nice try bub, I saw that spread.” Brad backed off a bit and turned to the other thief who still had his gun on Peter. “Maybe we should leave him be. We’re not getting away if we’ve got the Four after us.” What so Spider-Man was chop-liver but somehow The Four were something to be afraid of? Why were none of his criminals ever worried about him? He even caught them, most of the time.

“How about I go my way and you go your way and then neither of us has to worry about running into the Fantastic Four.” Peter tried, it wasn’t like he wanted to run into Johnny again either. Especially not when he was being attacked by something, again. It wasn’t really doing for his reputation as someone who wasn’t constantly almost dying. That was supposed to be Spider-Man’s thing, not Peter Parker's.

“Shut it bub!” One of them yelled. Oh well, Peter thought, at least he tried. Peter glanced around a little. Maybe he could shoot a web behind them while they weren’t paying attention. If he did that and pulled something towards them maybe he could distract them enough to get out of the firing line or even disarm them. After that he just had to knock the gun away, possibly steal the laptop they stole to see what was on it and then get away long enough to change into Spider-Man. He should have just swung home, that would have made everything easier.

“This is what happens when you try to get more miles logged in Pokemon Go.” Peter muttered.

"I say we just take him with us. The Torch is only a bit smarter than the Thing, bet he won't even know his boyfriend is gone 'til it's too late."

"He's not my boyfriend." Peter tried to explain to the criminals who kept ignoring him.

“That’s a little insulting” A voice from above said. Peter looked up and saw Johnny Storm floating above them holding a stack of boxes. "Honestly Pete, I thought you were more serious about me." Johnny said with fake hurt in his voice.

“Is that pizza?” Peter wondered out loud.

“Why yes, it is.” Johnny smiled. “And if you put your hands down you can hold them for me. Perfect thank you.” Johnny dropped the boxes towards Peter giving him not many options other than catching the pizza. After all what if it wasn’t all for Johnny, Sue and Reed seemed nice enough and didn’t deserve to have their pizza dropped on a New York City street.

“Sure thing, not like I needed to do anything else with my hands.” Peter mumbled while thinking about how he was going to get the laptop, get photos for Jameson and change into Spider-Man all while holding seven pizzas.

“Awe that’s cute Pete, maybe later.” Johnny said with a wink at Peter.

“That’s not what I meant!” Peter sputtered. Johnny concentrated his powers on the gun heating it up and making the robber drop it on the ground and clutch his hand in pain. They were all soon surrounded by fire to hold them captive while they waited to be formally arrested.

“Sometimes I love normal robberies they’re just so easy.” Johnny smiled and grabbed back the pizza. “I’ll hold onto those, I like keeping them toasty for when I get home.” Something told Peter this wasn’t quite an ordinary robbery but nothing had happened to prove him right yet. “So how is it dating the Human Torch?” Johnny asked. Peter just crossed his arms and glared at Johnny.

“I’m going to take photos of the crime scene for Jameson.” Peter mumbled ignoring Johnny while walking towards the truck where he knew the laptop was.

“Really? Jameson wants a petty crime like this covered? Wait, is this our first fight?” Johnny followed Peter towards the van. If Peter didn’t find a way to distract Johnny he wasn’t going to be able to find that laptop. He could break into evidence as Spider-Man later, maybe he wouldn’t get caught. That was a bad plan though, once the laptop got logged as evidence it was going to be pretty much out of his reach. Maybe he could just admit to Johnny that he wanted to steal evidence to look at it? Would that work? He was the Human Torch, Peter figured it was a 50/50 shot.

“I wanna see what they were trying to steal.” Peter muttered while pulling some nitrile gloves out of his back pocket that he had swiped from the chem lab.

“You carry gloves with you?” Johnny asked looking a little confused. At least he was temporarily distracted from asking about our media created relationship, Peter thought.

“I do a lot of lab work and end up at a lot of crime scenes for The Bugle.” It was a bit of an exaggeration, he’d been on the Bugle’s payroll for officially about 4 days but in that time he’d been to a lot of crime scenes…just not as Peter Parker. Peter glanced around the van snapping some photos and immediately spotted the laptop. Perfect, he thought. Before he touched it Peter paused. “Have you heard any sirens yet?”

“Hmm?” Johnny responded. Peter looked back to find the Human Torch staring at, his butt? No that couldn’t be it, he probably just zoned out.

“Sirens, have you heard any?” Peter tried asking again.

“No.” Johnny answered. That was strange Peter thought, then again it was a small crime and even though the glass had broken he hadn't heard the alarm go off in the store.

“Maybe it’s because Spider-Man’s not here.” Peter mumbled.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a really familiar butt?” Johnny asked with a frown.

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Johnny said waving away the question as if it had been something completely normal to ask. Peter stared at Johnny for a moment but then decided to drop it. Grabbing the laptop he stuck it in his bag. “Umm…” Johnny started noticing what Peter was doing.

“Well, I’ve gotta go.”

“Did you just blatantly steal evidence in front of me?”

“I’m gonna pass it to Spider-Man it’s cool.” That wasn’t a total lie, Peter thought. Technically he'd already passed it to Spider-Man just by grabbing it. “Then after he checks it he’ll drop it to the cops.” Peter decided to just start walking. He needed to be at least 2 blocks away from this when the cops got here, it wasn’t like the robbers were going to admit to an attempted hostage situation and increase their jail time. Just 2 blocks and then he was clear.

"Look you seem nice but you can't just take evidence with you." Johnny spoke while following Peter. "At least I don't think, I mean I've seen Reed do it before, I think, but that's different. They wouldn't know what to do with it most of the time."

"So do you know how to hack into a possibly bugged and dangerous laptop and pull out the information without having it crash and erase itself?" Peter asked with an eyebrow raised. Johnny didn't respond. "Didn't think so. Look they'll get it back, I'll even ask Spider-Man to give you an update on what was on it." Johnny frowned.

"Are you his media guy? But you took that photo of him looking like a dork." Johnny started. Peter sighed.

"Jameson isn't going to print photos of Spider-Man looking cool, not yet at least and especially not when someone else was there doing the same amount of work." Plus, Peter needed the money, therefore, Spider-Man also needed the money. "Spider-Man doesn't mind, he knows it's a process and he gets a cut." Kind of. It was the same cut Peter got but Johnny didn't need to know that.

"Wait so if you're his media guy why didn't you use any of the photo's I took?" Johnny asked still following Peter. Peter stopped and looked Johnny directly in the eyes.

"They were terrible."

“Ouch. Hey wait up, you already got pulled into a hostage situation don’t you want me to take you home or something or to the police station?”

“I’ve got bad luck this kind of thing happens all the time. It is pretty handy for getting photos though.”

“Alright," Johnny sighed. "but take this, you know just in case.” Johnny said passing Peter a business card.

“What is it?” Peter asked.

“My number.” Johnny said with a wink. Peter just stared at Johnny indifferently. This would be a lot more useful for Spider-Man to have than Peter Parker. Peter glanced down the street where he couldn't see the glow of a fire ring anymore.

“Your burglars are getting away.” Peter mentioned while stuffing the number in his pocket.

“What?”

“The burglars you caught? The fire ring disappeared and they’re making a run for it in their truck.” Johnny swore and took off after them. Peter sighed and continued walking in the direction of home. He was so going to be late, Aunt May was going to kill him.

Chapter Text

Peter managed to web most of his way back home and slipped into his bed throwing the covers over himself just in time before Aunt May came in.  She knocked on the door softly.

“Peter are you asleep already?”  Aunt May peaked her head in.  Peter smiled from under the covers he’d quickly cocooned himself in.

“Just a bit tired today Aunt May.”  Peter answered smoothly.

“You sure you’re not sick, are you?”  She asked. 

“I don’t think so,”  Peter answered.  “Would you let me skip school if I was.”  Aunt May raised an eyebrow and leaned against the door.

“Nope.  If you need me there’s a Great British Bake Off marathon on.”  Peter smiled back in response as Aunt May left.  Good, Peter thought, she’ll be asleep within 10 minutes of turning it on.  Peter knew Aunt May was actually quite tired even if she wasn’t acting like it.

“Alright Peter, 3 hours in the sewers and then you’ll call it a day.”  Peter got himself to stand up and put on his suit.  “Samples, you’ll be dealt with tomorrow.  Johnny Storms phone number being given to Peter Parker…we’re just going to ignore that for now.  Why couldn’t he give it to Spider-Man, when is Peter Parker going to need to contact the Human Torch?  And laptop…I should probably give that back asap.  Oh well, what the cops don’t know they’re missing they can’t miss yet.”  Peter sighed and hoisted himself out the window and into the darkness of the street. 

_____________________

Peter yawned as he closed his locker door.  The sewers had been a complete bust.  He had crawled through them for 5 hours and found nothing except proof of the consistently worrying sanitary conditions of New York City’s sewers.  The sewers had been the colour green that only sewers seem to be able to be and overrun with rats, but he hadn’t found any moths.  He had washed his suit immediately when he got home and accidentally shrunk it, again.  Peter was extremely glad he had spares now so he didn’t have another embarrassing battle in a shrunk suit, Kraven the Hunter hadn’t stopped laughing the whole battle last time.  The only good thing was that he hadn’t fallen in the sewer water.  He just had to make it through the last hour of school and then he could decide between trying to analyze the moth sample again or hacking into the computer he’d borrowed.  At some point, after that, he’d have to do his English report too and get more pictures of Spider-Man for Jameson.  Too bad Spider-Man hadn’t done much else these last few days other than talking to rats in the sewer.  If Peter didn’t find anything to do as Spider-Man soon he’d have to hang out at another crime scene or something.  He needed new web slingers and more web cartridges, neither of which were cheap.  He was going to have to start considering other ways of getting Spider-Man around the city soon. 

“I should really look into getting a bike or something.”  Peter mumbled out loud.  “Oh, hi MJ.”  He said as MJ walked up towards him.

“Peter, why did Johnny Storm call J. Jonah Jameson to ask him why you hadn’t texted him?”  MJ asked crossing her arms.  She didn't seem angry about the fact that Johnny contacted JJJ, more about the fact that she didn't know about it first.  Peter stared at her for a moment trying to process what she had said.

“No.  Nope.  I can’t deal with this.  Let’s start again. Hi MJ how are you?  Oh, I’m good Peter I had a great Monday night, my English report is killer.  Yours?  Oh, I haven’t gotten to it yet but I’ll do it tonight, probably.”

“Peter, I’m not going to just let you ignore this.”

“You’re right I should do my report tonight, I just really don’t feel like it you know?”

“Peter, just text Johnny.  I mean, you need more photos for the snapchat feed anyways don’t you?  You’re supposed to run it this week and all you contributed so far was a video of Spider-Man eating a hot dog and then a pigeon stealing it.”  MJ exclaimed pushing her hair back in frustration.  

“They are the unknown advisory of New York.”

“Peter, fix it.”

“But it’s not broken.  Nothing's going on!”

“Then keep it that way by texting him and find out what’s going to blow up this week!”  MJ yelled as she walked away.  Peter groaned and pulled out his phone on Johnny’s number and typed it in. 

Why did you call my boss? -Peter

New phone who dis? - Johnny

Peter groaned and restrained himself from throwing his phone down the hall.  As much as he wanted too, he couldn't afford to just buy a new one right now.  He really needed to try sucking up to Tony Stark as Spider-Man, maybe he would be drowning in new phones Stark phones if he did that.

How many people’s bosses do you call to get them to text you? - Peter

A surprisingly large amount of people, Peter Parker? - Johnny

Yes, now please don’t call my boss again.  I’m supposed to be updating the Bugle’s snapchat but so far it’s been a slow week.  -Peter

I was just worried, you just came out of a hostage situation.  What if you died on the way home? - Johnny

Well I didn’t so don’t call him again. - Peter

Heartless. - Johnny

Peter sighed and put his phone away in his bag so he wouldn’t get distracted.  One more hour of class and then he could go deal with the laptop and samples and then write his English report.  That plan would work out perfectly as long as no one decided Tuesday’s were a great day to rob a bank or try and take over the city.  The class was repetitive enough that Peter started outlining his English report while the teacher talked.  He considered sleeping, but that might have gotten him detention, working on a different assignment would just get him a reprimand.

________________

He’d managed to get at least the outline done by the time class was dismissed.  Harry waved goodbye and headed out right away with MJ.  Peter waved after them.  He hadn’t hung out with Harry enough lately, but it was difficult.  When he wasn’t Spider-Man he had to get Peter Parker things done and spend time with Aunt May and get photos for the Bugle.  Plus Harry had his own responsibilities too.  Peter pulled out his phone to let Aunt May know he was going to hang around the school for a few hours before heading home. 

“Seven unread messages, what?  Who could possibly be texting me, Aunt May doesn’t text.”

Super bored are you at school? - Johnny

Peter - Johnny

Peeeettteeeerrrrrrrr - Johnny

Petey - Johnny

Are you dying?  Is the school getting attacked?  - Johnny

There’s nothing on the news, better come check though.  Be there in 15. - Johnny

School looks fine.  I’m outside. Do you not text during class?  Nerd.  - Johnny

“Awe man this is going to kill my phone plan.” Peter sighed and tried to decide what would be worse, going outside to talk to Johnny or just going to the lab and leaving Johnny outside.  He would feel kind of bad leaving Johnny outside but going and talking to him would probably mean public embarrassment.  Peter sighed, public embarrassment was kind of his thing, maybe if he took the side door people wouldn’t notice as much.  Peter walked around the side of the school to the front doors where Johnny was leaning against one the rails of the front steps.  At least he didn’t come in his Fantastic Four uniform, Peter thought. 

“Dude you can’t text me that much I have a terrible phone plan.”  Peter said in lieu of a proper greeting.  A few people were standing around taking photos of Johnny as he posed for them.  Hopefully, this wouldn't spark a rumour about Johnny Storm picking up his mysterious love interest from school.  Maybe if Spider-Man did something really, really embarrassing or heroic everyone would forget about Peter Parker.

“Flaming messages in the sky next time instead it is!”  Johnny answered with a smile.

“No that’s a terrible plan.  I’ll take the hit instead, I’ll just eat ramen more often or something just please don’t do that.  Also seriously, don’t call my boss again.  It took MJ to convince him you’re not dating Patrick Parker.”

“Who’s Patrick Parker?”  Johnny asked with a frown.  "Do you have a twin?" 

“My boss doesn’t actually know my name, it’s the only plus side to this situation.  He’d probably take forever to fill out the paperwork for firing me.  Anyways let’s not hang out in front of the school come with me, Gwen won’t mind.”  Peter went back towards the side door of the school.  It usually auto locked but Peter had long ago figured out a trick for getting in and out of it which had really helped him when he’d had to sneak out of school for a New York City emergency on occasion.  Johnny watched curiously as Peter jimmied open the side door to let them back into school and followed him down the hall towards the lab.

“So is stealing police evidence and breaking into your own school a normal thing for you?  No judgment, I mean personally I’d probably do cooler things but you know to each their own.”  Peter ignored Johnny as he opened the door to the lab.  Gwen wasn’t there today, which meant he was alone with Johnny.  He held back a groan and walked over to his usual spot.  A slip of paper sat on the desk.

Hey Pete, had to go do something with my Mom today.  Didn’t find anything for you, sorry.  Maybe try googling what exterminators are up to lately? -  Gwen

That wasn’t a bad idea, Peter thought.  Maybe there was an exterminator chat room or something where they talked about bug related problems or recent rises in certain kinds of bugs.

“So you meet up with Gwen a lot then?”  Johnny asked while standing uncomfortably close to Peter.  His body heat radiated over Peter as he read over his shoulder.

“Personal space dude.  Has anyone ever told you you’re like a furnace?”  Peter asked while trying to get a little distance between them by walking around to sit at the desk.  Unfortunately for Peter, Johnny followed and continued to stick close by.

“Feeling a little hot and bothered, Parker?”  Johnny asked with a wink.  Peter chose to ignore him and start working.  He pulled out the laptop.  He needed to make sure the location setting were off so he wouldn’t potentially lead any criminals directly to the school and that any controls that allowed someone to operate the computer remotely were deactivated.  The last thing he needed was the webcam activating and suddenly having a group of criminals after Peter Parker.  It was only slightly better than if they thought Spider-Man was accessing the computer and then started making connections between his location and Spider-Man’s identity.  Peter sighed and plugged in his phone to start the program he had written earlier to help him get in.

“So what are we doing?”  Johnny asked.

“I am hacking into the computer, you are standing there quietly in a non-distracting manner.”

“I’ll try I’m naturally distracting though.”  Johnny sighed when Peter ignored him and sat down on one of the desks behind Peter and started playing on his phone.  Peter continued to work as Johnny sat there occasionally letting out sighs of frustration as he came across more security measures in the computer or almost erased all the data.  It was hHours before either of them spoke, Peter was honestly quite surprised Johnny hadn't gotten bored and left yet.  Peter yawned. “Do you need coffee?”  Johnny asked.

“No food or drink in the lab.  Well, at least not yet - I’m not that desperate yet.”  Peter answered.  “Besides I think I’m almost…done!” 

“So what’s on it?”

“Well I have to open it still.”  Peter answered.  Johnny held his hands up in mock surrender.  Grabbing the top of the laptop Peter pulled it open and took a deep breath as he pressed the power button.  The sound of the computer starting up filled the room.  Slowly files started appearing on the screen.  Peter looked down at his phone, the computer didn’t appear to be sending out location signals or sending out any information.  He breathed a mild sigh of relief as he sat up a bit to see what was on the computer. 

“Weren’t you going to hand it over to Spider-Man to do this?”  Johnny asked.  Peter froze a little bit, technically it was with Spider-Man, not that Johnny knew that.  Guess it’s time to play the shallow story hungry journalist card, Peter thought.

“I wasn’t sure he’d tell me what the scoop was.  I’m already in hot water for apparently letting it get scooped that I was in an alleged relationship with the Human Torch.”  Peter said with a slight glare back at Johnny.  There was a lot on the computer, a lot that the police could use and that Peter could potentially use for stories as long as he wasn’t impending on a current investigation with regards to local gang activity.  Peter didn’t see a lot that seemed related to giant mutant moths though.  Maybe the computer was a dead end.  “I’m going to go to the bathroom”  Peter sighed standing up.  “Don’t fry the computer while I’m gone.”  Leaving the computer with Johnny was potentially dangerous, but he didn’t think Johnny would disappear with it and even if he did it would just be him handing it back to the police, probably. 

Peter came back to find Johnny bent over the computer staring at it intently while clicking the mouse over and over again. 

“What are you doing?”  Peter asked.  Johnny looked up slightly sheepishly.

“I wanted to see what kind of games they had.”  Peter sighed and walked around to grab the computer back from Johnny.

“Why would a computer like this have…”  Peter stopped as he looked at the screen. “What the heck?  Oh that’s just not fair.  How is their helicopter high score so good.”  The helicopter crashed as Johnny’s attention wavered.   

“Dang it, I was on a roll.”  Johnny sighed.  Another screen popped up that read loading.  “Well that’s weird.”  Peter leant closer to the computer and shoved Johnny slightly over so he could sit in front of the computer too.  Little figures danced around the screen on a map of New York City. 

“What the heck…”  Peter muttered. 

“What’s that collection of dots there doing.”  Johnny leant over and squinted at the screen.  Whatever it was it looked like it was rushing towards the area of New York they were in.  Peter zoomed in on the map towards where the school was.  Yep, whatever they were they were definitely coming over here, so much for deactivating the computer properly.  Time to ruin Peter Parker's reputation again, Peter thought as he decided he definitely needs to be Spider-Man for this match up. 

“Oh man, I need to…go to the bathroom.  It’s an emergency, don’t smash anything.”  Peter was already heading out the door when he heard Johnny stand up in confusion.

“What but you just went to the bathroom, Peter?”  Peter ignored him and booked it to his locker.  Those things were moving fast he had maybe two minutes.  Peter grabbed his suit out and ducked to a spot where he knew no security cameras were and quickly changed into his suit.  He’d just put the mask on when he heard a chorus of windows break.  Peter quickly swung back to the lab where Johnny had switched into full on Human Torch mode and was trying to fight an army of tiny moths that just seemed to be flying at him nonstop.

“Man it’s good I wear a mask.”  Peter said not liking the idea of breathing in moths.  He swung over to where the laptop was, moths sticking to and coating his web as hung there.  “Ew gross.”  Peter bent over and picked up the laptop and put it in the plain brown backpack he’d brought with him.  The moths continued to swarm into the school.  “Yo Torch we should get out of here before the big ones-“ Johnny flew out the broken windows before Peter could even finish the sentence.  “Great, right behind you buddy.”  Peter waded through the layers of moths and threw himself out of the window rolling on the ground when he reached it.  He groaned slightly and rubbed his shoulder, that was going to hurt in the morning. 

“You couldn’t use your webs?”  Johnny asked landing beside him.

“Too many moths it’s not sticking properly or shooting right, I think it might be slightly jammed.”  A stream of moths started streaming out of the windows like a waterfall.   “Great…hey buddy do you think you could maybe?”

“Flame on?  Yep.”  Johnny created a fire circle around them.  Peter looked at him.  “What you told me not to kill them last time so now if they choose to fly into the giant wall of fire it’s kind of on them.” 

“What about the part where we’re surrounded by a giant wall of fire?”

“I don’t really see how that’s an issue.” 

“Of course you don’t.”  Peter sighed.  “Alright let’s see what this computer is telling us.”

“Oh shit!”

“What?”

“Peter’s still in the school.”  Johnny exclaimed looking a bit worried.  Peter blinked, oh right he was technically supposed to be in the school right now.

“Peter’s fine, he can get better shots out there and all the moths are trying to come here anyways.”  Johnny looked unimpressed.  Peter held up his camera and pointed it towards them.  “Fire circle selfie!”  He said while taking a photo. 

“You don’t know he’s fine though.”  Oh man, Peter thought, he’s not dropping it.  “You really shouldn’t be putting a civilian in this much danger.  It’s not okay, he’s going to get hurt.” 

“More than you know buddy.”   Peter mumbled to himself.  It hurt a little to have Johnny suggest that he would intentionally put other people in danger.  Everything he did including wearing a mask was to keep the people he knew and people who came across him out of danger.  Not that Flame Brain with a super-powered family that can take care of themselves would know anything like that.  “Look Peter knows what he’s getting into and he’s probably already snapped his pictures and is on his way home.  What we have to focus on now is the army of moths that seems to be invading the school and trying to bury me alive in a swarm of live moths. 

“I’m gonna text him to check if he’s alright.”  Johnny said pulling out his phone.  Peter groaned and then paused, was his phone on silent?  It definitely was not, he always turned it on after class so he wouldn’t miss a call from Aunt May.  He needed to break Johnny’s concentration so the fire wall would disappear and he couldn't text Peter. 

“I’m just going to have to go for it aren’t I?”  Peter said to himself.  Peter took a deep breath as he walked closer to Johnny and shoved him directly into and through the flame wall.  Johnny’s concentration broke and the wall disappeared revealing a wall of moths that had built up around the flame wall.  “Whoops…worth it. Come on web slingers don’t let me down.”  Peter aimed his webs at a nearby tree and swung out of there.  The moths began following him as he did.  “Great so they are just after me.  Maybe it’s a scent thing?  Okay so then I just have to change my scent.”  Peter looked behind him as he swung through the area.  The Home Ec lab was probably his best option and the emergency shower in the Chem lab.  Shooting out another web Peter planned his round-about route back to the school, hopefully the moths wouldn’t figure out he was doubling back and cut him off. 

Peter swung through the broken windows, threw the laptop off onto the desk and walked towards the emergency chem shower.  “Ugh gross, this suit was not designed to get wet.”  Peter stood under the spray for as long as he could as he started seeing the moths again.  He bolted from the lab only pausing quickly to grab the laptop again and made his way towards the Home Ec lab.  Breaking down the door Peter threw open the spice cupboard.  “Cinnamon or cloves, Cinnamon or cloves…Ah ha!”  Peter grabbed the cinnamon out of the cupboard and started sprinkling it all over himself as quickly as possible. 

“What are you doing?”  Johnny asked as he paused in front of the door to the Home Ec lab. 

“Of course this is when you decide to walk by.”  Peter responded as he continued to coat himself in cinnamon.  “The moths are 100% following me so I’m trying to throw them off.”  Peter heard a buzzing down the hall and his spider senses tingled.  “Quick get in here.”  Peter stood still as Johnny walked in just in time to watch a swarm of moths race by the room.  Peter remained still as a few of the mutant moths rushed by as well.  They circled a few times before they eventually started dispersing and left the school.  Peter breathed a sigh of relief.  “I’m officially going to buy every cinnamon scented product I can possibly find.” 

“So you shoved me into a flaming wall.”

“I thought of a way to get rid of the moths and I decided to go for it.  We can’t all walk through fire.  No hard feelings though, right?  Totally will not do it again, unless I need to.”  Johnny crossed his arms and glared at Spider-Man.  “Okay, okay.  I’m sorry I shoved you into a flaming wall…and have some how triggered a moth swarm on New York, but I think that ones mostly not my fault.”  Peter heard sirens in the background.  “And that’s my cue.”  He sighed.  “Man it must be nice to get to stick around.”

“It is when they don’t arrest you.”  Johnny shrugged.  “Until next time?”  Peter stopped and looked back at Johnny Storm. 

“Yeah, see you later buddy.  Thanks for the help.”  Peter waved and started to leave the scene.  Johnny smiled and waved as he walked back towards the school to greet the police. 

___________________

Peter stopped on a rooftop near his house so he could look at the laptop safely without endangering Aunt May.  “Alright moth swarms lets see what you’re up to.”  Peter sat down and pulled out the laptop and his phone. He turned on the screen to see if he’d missed a call from Aunt May.  There were 17 unread messages.  Peter groaned as he saw they were all from Johnny.  Mostly he was just making sure Peter hadn’t died in a bathroom, that would have been a non-ideal way to go.  He should let Johnny know he wasn’t dead though.

Not dead, sorry I had to split. - Peter

Peter put the phone down and opened helicopter again, more carefully this time.  Hopefully the game didn't trigger some sort of signal that told the swarm where to attack.  The secondary screen opened revealing a scattering of dots all over the city with a few larger clusters.   Peter zoomed in on his own location where only one moth could be read, exactly where he sat.

“What the heck?”  Peter muttered.  He looked around, but his spider senses didn’t alert him to anything.  He couldn’t even see a single tiny moth.  Peter walked away from the laptop and saw the dot move a little bit with him.  “Great…so there’s a tracker on me or something.  At least I know why the moths or whoever’s controlling them always knew where to find me.  The spray was probably for the moths so they could find me so then where’s the tracker…”  Peter scratched the back of his neck and felt a small bump at the base of his skull he pinched it and pulled it away from his skin.  “Ugh gross”  He mumbled as he looked at the small tick like tracker.  “I must have been tired if I didn’t notice that.”  Peter sighed and squashed it between his fingers and watched his signal disappear from the screen. 

Chapter Text

Peter took the information he needed off of the laptop and turned it into the police with his customary note reading 'curtesy of your friendly neighbourhood Spider-man'.  Chances were the trackers on the moths were compromised the moment he squished his own, other than the actual data he’d managed to save and could pour through later the computer wasn’t worth much to him anymore.  Gwen’s dad would be able to do far more with that computer than Peter could.  He slid into his room and changed into his pajamas, he just had to do his English report and then it was time for bed.  Peter walked into the kitchen to make himself a pot of coffee and stifled a yawn.  He really hoped this moth thing wrapped up soon, he couldn’t keep up this sleep schedule forever and maintain his GPA, and he really needed to maintain his GPA. 

Aunt May was waiting downstairs when Peter walked into the kitchen.  “You young man are in so much trouble.”  Peter froze with his hand on the coffee pot, Aunt May had already made a pot as she was determined to wait up for Peter.  Hundreds of different options for why he was in trouble ran through his head before Aunt May uttered her terrifying catchphrase that had haunted him his whole childhood.  “But why don’t you tell me why you think you’re in trouble?”  She said calmly with a stern glare. 

Peter quickly tried to think of which recent misdemeanour of his would be the least incriminating.  Should he go with the spread from the Sun?  It was technically the most harmless, it wasn’t breaking curfew, explaining why he was covered in bruises, eating all of the leftover chicken casserole or telling her he was Spider-Man.  When did he start having so many secrets from Aunt May?  Which one was it that she knew about?  Maybe if he kept it general he could trick her into giving up what she knew.  This was so much harder than interrogating Doc Ock, Peter thought. 

“Is this about the newspaper?”  The newspaper could mean the Bugle, or the Sun, or…a few other things.  Aunt May raised her eyebrow.

“What about the paper Peter?”  Aunt May stared at Peter who stared back in utter terror.  He looked around for clues but found none.

“My internship?”  Peter tried.  Aunt May smiled a little bit.

“Well we’re certainly on the right track.  I am a little peeved you didn’t tell me you’d gotten a job.”  Aunt May pouted a little while holding her coffee.

“I’m sorry Aunt May.”  Peter said sitting down across from her after grabbing his own cup.  “I know I should have told you but, you just always take such good care of me and I know finances are tight.  I just wanted to help out.”  Aunt May smiled softly and patted his hand.

“You don’t have to you know.” 

“I wanted to though.”  Peter said ducking his head a little.

“You do know that’s not it though, right?”  Aunt May said her tone getting a little less soft.  Damn it, Peter thought.  Johnny, he was going to have to go with Johnny.

“Is this about my uhh…coverage of the Human Torch?”  Peter tried awkwardly.

“Coverage, that’s an interesting word for it.”  Aunt May said sitting a little straighter.  Bingo, Peter thought, that was it.  At least he hadn’t accidentally spilt about breaking curfew.  “Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?  Peter, you could have told me you have a boyfriend.”  Peter gracelessly slid off his chair onto the floor coughing as he choked on his coffee.  “Oh my, are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.  Mostly just a bruised…ego.”  Peter sighed as he hoisted himself back up to his chair.  He ruffled his hair in frustration.  “Aunt May, that was just a weird spread by the Sun.  Johnny isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Oh so it’s Johnny, is it?  You know just because he’s one of those Fancy Four people doesn’t mean you have to do whatever he wants.”  Peter groaned and put his head down on the table.

“It’s the Fantastic Four, Aunt May.  And I’m not going out with him and not because he refuses to officially go out or I’m like a side thing or something we’re just not going out.  I'm not even sure if we're friends or anything.”

“Uh huh…so when do you think Johnny can come over for dinner?”  Aunt May said while stirring her coffee not at all listening to a word Peter said.

“Aunt May!  Honestly, we’re not going out.”

“Of course you’re not Petey.  You know I just like to meet all your…friends.”  Aunt May stood up and washed her cup in the sink.  “Friday works for me.”  Aunt May said plainly as she walked out of the kitchen trying to hide a grin.  Peter watched her walk out of the kitchen with his head still on the table.  Great, now he had to invite Johnny Storm over for dinner.  He sighed and pulled out his phone.  How exactly do you word a ‘my aunt is convinced we’re dating so I need you to come over for dinner because I love and respect her but also fear her greatly’ text?  Peter glanced through the last texts he hadn’t really addressed to see if there was something he could build on. 

Peter are you still in the school? - Johnny

I checked the bathrooms they’re empty. - Johnny

I talked to the police about if we should put out a search but they said I had to wait ???? - Johnny

Do normal people just wait when people go missing?  - Johnny

That’s stupid. - Johnny

Yo text me back - Johnny

Seriously this isn’t funny. - Johnny

Just let me know you’re not dead and didn’t get completely eaten bones and all by moths - Johnny

'k the Daily Bugle updated their snapchat with the moths so I’m guessing you’re not dead since that was probably you. - Johnny

How did you get Spider-Man’s selfie anyways?  He did not dish on how much you guys were bros. - Johnny

Man I look good in that photo.  - Johnny

Text - Johnny

Me - Johnny

BACK!!!!!!!!! - Johnny

Can people still snapchat when they’re wounded? - Johnny

Is this because I left you in a bathroom alone with a swarm of moths invading the school? - Johnny

I mean I usually I’d take someone to a fancy dinner instead of abandoning them in a bathroom... - Johnny

Not dead, sorry I had to split. - Peter

Good, that’s ideal. - Johnny

So dinner next time sound better than avoiding a moth swarm? - Johnny

That worked…surprisingly well?  It was still a little awkward but Peter couldn’t think of a situation where inviting an extremely friendly person who he hardly knew over to dinner wasn’t awkward.  It was sometimes awkward when Gwen came over for dinner, and it was always awkward when he went to Gwen’s.  That might have a bit to do with her dad technically having a warrant out for his arrest, though.  That and the fact that her whole family basically hated him, he'd only ever caused her to break curfew a few times though, and technically almost indirectly caused her death via Spider-Man related situations but he was pretty sure they didn't know about those.  Really they had no reason to hate him.

How about Friday? - Peter

Peter put his phone aside and started working on his English report not expecting a response from Johnny for some time.  Apparently, he was wrong though as his phone buzzed soon after he’d put it down. 

Seriously???? - Johnny

Preferably casually.  - Peter

Aunt May wants you to come over for dinner - Peter

Peter are you introducing me to your family already? ;) - Johnny

Not a date. - Peter

;) ;) Why Peter you wound me, I just was getting excited to meet your charming and beautiful aunt. - Johnny

Seriously, it’s not a date. - Peter

I thought you said this was a casual thing. - Johnny

It is she meets all my friends - Peter

Oh so I’m a friend? ;) - Johnny

IT’S NOT A DATE - Peter

I might be busy… - Johnny

That’s fine she’d understand. - Peter

Peter sighed.  He’d thought it was kind of short notice and the Four might have some sort of cool space mission planned for then.  His phone buzzed again.  Peter frowned and picked it up.

I might be not busy for a date ;) - Johnny

“Oh for the love of-“  Peter took a deep breath and restrained himself.  He could do this.  He was a calm and reasonable person.

It’s not a date. - Peter

I might be busy… - Johnny

…If I say it’s a date are you saying you won’t be busy? - Peter

I would never say that. That sounds a bit like blackmail.  - Johnny

“You can do this Peter.  Just type a few words then it’ll be over and then by next week hopefully Aunt May will never want to meet him ever again.”  Peter pressed each key as if had personally harmed him in life. 

Fine. - Peter

Hmmm?  - Johnny

Will you come over Friday for dinner? - Peter

For what? - Johnny

…Dinner. - Peter

Might be busy. - Johnny

…As a date. - Peter

Oh well I mean if you insist! ;) - Johnny

I mean I wasn’t sure I wanted to move that fast - Johnny

But I wouldn’t want to turn you down when you basically begged me to go out with you - Johnny

I hate you - Peter

<3 - Johnny

Night Peter! - Johnny

Looking forward to our date! - Johnny

You’re the worst - Peter

<3 - Johnny

__________

The week passed by quickly.  After he wrote possibly the worst English report he’d ever written and kept on top of his other homework, he and Gwen successfully identified where the research on mutant moths came from.  The research had been funded by Oscorp.  Peter decided not to mention anything to Harry, it’s not like they could charge Norman Osborn for repeatedly funding research that happened to fairly often result in mutant supervillains. 

“Gwen can you think of a nice way to tell your best friend that his father is kind of singlehandedly destroying New York City?”  Peter asked with a sigh while slumping on one of the lab tables. 

“I don’t think there is a nice way to tell someone that.  You know they dissected a feral cat on that earlier today right?”  Gwen asked looking down at him from where she stood.

“They disinfected it.”  Peter responded not wanting to move.

“Flash was at that table.”  Gwen answered crossing her arms.  That meant the table probably hadn’t been properly disinfected.  Peter couldn't force himself to care, he'd already been bitten by a radioactive spider at a lab, what more could possibly happen?

“I don’t even care anymore.  You could drop a dead rat on my head and I wouldn’t even care.” Peter answered with a groan.  Gwen hesitated and then crossed her arms as she decided to meddle in Peter's life.

“What’s up Pete?”  

“Johnny’s coming for dinner tonight.”  Peter said avoiding eye contact with Gwen.

“Oh, Johnny is it?”  Gwen asked with a small smile, clearly enjoying Peter's misery.  

“Not you too.”

“I'm entitled to make fun of you for life after you set me up on that awful blind date with Harry.  I’m just saying, if you hated him you wouldn’t call him Johnny or even bother talking to him.”

“I honestly thought you two would hit it off!  Also, I talk to Flash and call him by his first name and I hate him.”  Peter remaining slumped on the table.  Gwen rolled her eyes and sat down at a nearby table.

“You thought you wouldn't have to face the fact that you had a crush on the same girl that your best friend did if Harry and I hit it off.  Plus you told me I was meeting you there and you told Harry that I had agreed to a date."  Gwen said glaring at Peter just from the memory of the event.

"Okay, so that wasn't my best moment as a friend."  Gwen raised her eyebrows to emphasize how much of an understatement that was.  "Okay it was one of my major dick moments but I am very sorry."  

"Whatever Pete.  Also, you don’t hate Flash.”  Peter just looked at Gwen.  “Okay so you hate him a little but in a kind of rival, we could be really good friends way…okay, maybe not but you don’t hate him.  I’m just saying I think you and the Human Torch are kind of friends.”

“I already have friends.”  Peter grumbled.

“Pete you have like four friends.”

“Ouch.  You’re a mean person Gwendolyn Stacy.”  Gwen shook her head and ignored Peter's childish attitude.  

“Skat, I want to lock up the lab for the weekend.  It’s Friday Pete, try and have fun.”

“When I said I wanted to spend more time with Aunt May I kind of meant quality time not her me and the Human Torch time.” 

“Stop grumbling and go home!”  Gwen said while physically pushing Peter out of the lab.  “It’s not going to kill you to have dinner with Johnny and Aunt May.”

“I hope you know that’s going to be the first quote in my obituary.”  Peter said as Gwen closed the door behind them and started locking it.  

"Good, I want full credit for your death by self-induced embarrassment." 

________

“Peter get the door!”  Aunt May called from the kitchen after the doorbell rang.  Peter separated himself from his homework and walked downstairs to open the door for Johnny.  Johnny looked well rested, carried a bouquet of flowers, and was wearing a suit that looked like it probably cost more than Aunt May and him usually spent in 5 months.  In contrast, Peter was wearing an old tee-shirt, pyjamas pants,  and looked like an overall mess who hadn’t slept properly all week and had just woken up from a nap. 

“You really weren’t kidding about the whole casual thing, were you?”  Johnny whistled.  Peter looked at Johnny extremely seriously.

“I never joke about casual dress.”

“So if I had you over for dinner and told you, you could wear pyjama pants?”

“Well, I wouldn’t show up in a suit.”  Peter said crossing his arms and looking him up and down.

“Checking me out already Pete?"  Johnny said with a smirk.  "I brought these for your Aunt.”  Johnny said motioning to the flowers.

“Oh how nice! Don’t you look nice?”  Aunt May said smiling at Johnny.  “For goodness sake, Petey, let the poor boy in…what are you wearing?”  Aunt May exclaimed looking at Peter with obvious disapproval.  Johnny grinned at Peter as he glared at Johnny.  He probably could have gotten away with this if Johnny hadn’t worn a suit.

“So I’m going to-“ Peter started.

“Get changed?”  Aunt May finished sternly.

“…Yeah.”  Peter sighed.  He waved as he walked up the stairs slowly to put a different shirt on and pants.

“Comb your hair too!”  Aunt May called from downstairs.  Peter stumbled in embarrassment and caught himself on the rail.  He could hear chuckling from downstairs but choose to ignore it.  He was worried about leaving Johnny and Aunt May alone, mostly for his own sake.  Peter grabbed a regular tee-shirt and jeans as fast as possible and threw a jacket on over top so it looked a little nicer.  

“That boy…honestly, I hope you know what you’re getting into.”  Peter heard Aunt May say to Johnny as he walked down the stairs.  It was always refreshing to hear that Aunt May thought of Peter as her own personal human disaster.  “I thought you were going to wear something nice.”  Aunt May said when she saw Peter.  Johnny had taken his suit jacket off so at least he looked a little less overdressed.

“This is nice?”  Peter said.  He could see Johnny was holding himself back from responding to that question and Aunt May just tisk’ed and continued putting the flowers in a vase. 

“Set the table?”  Aunt May asked.  Peter nodded and started grabbing plates.  “So Johnny, Peter’s told me nothing about you so that means you get to be in control of all my first impressions of you.”  She said with a smile.  Johnny grinned back.  Peter desperately tried to catch Johnny’s eye.  ‘Don’t mention the moth’s’ he mouthed.  Johnny frowned.  Peter felt like banging his head against the cabinet.  Apparently, the Human Torch’s true weakness was reading lips.  Peter tried motioning slitting his neck but that just seemed to make Johnny more confused.  Peter sighed and decided to resign himself to whatever was coming.  As he finished setting the table he sat down to await his doom.

“Well I might as well be honest then.  Your nephew has a terrible fashion sense and in the short time I’ve known him I feel like he’s almost died like 4 times, you’d think he was the one fighting super-villains or something.”  Aunt May laughed.

“That sounds like Peter.  I don’t know if you’ve ever seen him walk down the stairs but some days it’s the most stressful 15 seconds of my life.”  Peter ignored them.  Even if he did fall down the stairs he always caught himself, besides it wasn’t as bad as running out of web fluid when you were swinging between skyscrapers.  “Do you like what you do?”  Aunt May asked Johnny.

“Well I don’t know if like is the right for it, it just feels like what I should do most of the time.  I’d say it pays the bills but it actually kind of causes the bills.  Even if you don’t have an expendable income you need a certain amount of expendable time and flexibility, if there was anyone who didn’t have that I can probably guarantee they’re wearing a full face mask to hide the fact that they’re running on basically no sleep.”  That was more accurate than Peter had wanted it to be.  Aunt May hummed thoughtfully as she put the chicken casserole on the table.  “Plus there’s almost always someone trying to sue me.”

“Oh that can’t be nice.”

“Well, it’s just kind of part of the job.”  Johnny shrugged.  “I am pretty fond of talking about myself but we can’t all do that for the whole night.”  Aunt May laughed and decided to save them both from the interrogation and started talking about her day.  Johnny chimed in with genuine interest while Peter picked through his chicken casserole and tried not to fall asleep.  It had only been 10 minutes and already Johnny was better at talking to Aunt May then he was. 

“Peter are you alright?” 

“Hmm…yeah just tired.  Sorry Aunt May.” 

“How is it working with the Bugle?”  Aunt May asked. 

“It’s okay,”  Peter said while shoveling casserole into his mouth.  “I don’t think Jameson likes me that much, but that might be partial because I cover Spider-Man.  He pays best for it though so I don’t know why he would expect me to cover someone else.”  Not to mention the fact that it's pretty easy for Peter to cover himself.  At least this way he knows what stories about Spider-Man the Bugle's planning on running and who he can expect to throw tomatoes at him while he swings through New York.  He swears the rougher neighbourhood kids have made a game out of it.

“I worry about you when you’re following Spider-Man like that.”

“I’m just following them, I’m never in any real danger.”  Johnny shot Peter a look which Peter choose to ignore.  So maybe Peter Parker accidentally got involved in fights sometimes but technically Peter Parker was already involved in them.  “Besides it’s New York danger is everywhere.” 

Dinner and dessert finished smoothly with neither Spider-Man or the Human Torch being called in to deal with a problem downtown.  Not that Spider-Man was ever called in.  Spider-Man tended to show up, deal with the problem and then be threatened with arrest for destruction of property and aiding and abetting criminal activity.  The later wasn’t usually true, though there was the rare occasion where he trusted the wrong source and accidentally assisted with a bank robbery or world domination plot, but he always made sure to fix it. 

Peter, Aunt May and Johnny cleaned up dinner and dessert after which Johnny excused himself.  Aunt May asked him if he’d like to stay longer giving Peter a pointed look but Johnny politely declined allowing Peter to go to his room and collapse on his bed.  Peter’s spider sense tingled slightly, he thought it odd but maybe there was just a bird outside plotting to poop on his bike.

“Going to sleep already?”  Peter jumped and rolled out of bed in shock landing on the floor as Johnny came through the window.

“Ouch.”  Peter rubbed his head where it had hit the ground.  He looked up to see Johnny letting himself through his window.  “What the hell Johnny?  If you wanted to stay longer you could have just said yes and stayed like a normal person.” 

“And ruin the surprise?”  Johnny shook his head with a smile.  “Besides you seemed really tired and kind of stressed about your Aunt thinking we were dating.  So I kind of thought sneaking in would be the better option.”

“Well…that’s kind of nice actually.” Peter remained on the floor and leaned against his bed.  “It’s not really that I mind her thinking I’m dating someone, it’s more because it’s you.” 

“Oh.”  Johnny said softly.  Peter paused and repeated what he’d said to himself in his head.

“Okay that came out wrong.  It’s not because it’s you, Johnny Storm it’s more because it’s you the Human Torch.” 

“That’s still me.”  Johnny said with a frown.

“Okay, but it’s not really because of either part of you. It’s because the attention and the kind of danger you bring with you.”  Johnny still didn’t look like he understood.  “Look you and your family all got into a freak accident but you all survived, right?  That kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me.  People around me, let’s just say that Parker’s and Parker affiliates aren’t that lucky usually.”  Peter grimaced a little.  It wasn't like Johnny knew his whole history, but good things didn't happen to Peter Parker.  A few things did but they were usually followed by very, very bad things.  

“Peter, I’m not going to parade your face around on tabloids and set you up to have super villains come after you.”  Johnny said sounding a little hurt that Peter thought Johnny would put him or Aunt May in danger.  It really wasn't Johnny's fault though.  Peter did honestly just have really bad luck.

“I’m not saying that you would, I’m just saying it’s a possibility of what could happen.  Aunt May is the most important person in my life, I don’t want to put her in danger.”  Peter said looking down a little.

“So this isn’t even about you?”  Johnny asked.

“…not really?  I’m prepared to deal with the results of my own choices…I just don’t like it if those choices start affecting other people.”

“Well if that’s how you feel I can stay away from you…I honestly didn’t mean for the media shit-storm.  And if it makes you feel better the Four’s enemies are actually pretty good about only targeting us…and maybe the world at large.”  Johnny paused and looked like he was debating saying something.

“If you want to say something you might as well spit it out.”  Peter said avoiding eye contact with Johnny.  Johnny shook his head and shrugged.

“Your Aunt’s really nice, Peter.”  Johnny said with a sad smile.

“Thanks Johnny.”  Johnny nodded and went to go out the window.  “Wait,”  Johnny paused and turned.  “Why did you talk to me, that first time?”  Peter asked with a frown.

“Honestly?  You said you could find better pictures in a sewer than at my photo shoot.  I kind of thought that meant you’d look at me for who I was, not just the Human Torch…I, I don’t have that many friends.”

“You?”  Peter said with his eyebrows raised.  “You don’t have that many friends?”

“What can I say?  It’s lonely at the top of a pile of defeated super-villains.”  Johnny said with a fake smile.  “I have my family, other super-hero’s tolerate me but even then we’re all more like co-workers…everyone else, well they’d be gone pretty fast if push came to shove.”  Peter bit his lip.

“To be honest I do kind of hate you.  You’re a superhero but you don’t have to wear a mask, your family fights beside you, my Aunt liked you, and you’re conventionally attractive.”

“That is the most insulting compliment I’ve ever received.”  Johnny responded looking a little confused.  Peter paused and continued to chew on his lip before deciding to speak.

“I think we should be friends.”  Peter spat out.  Johnny stared at him. “Just like low-key”

“I don’t really like being people's dirty little secret, Peter.” 

“I don’t mean it that way.”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t.”  Johnny sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  “Look do you want me to leave or don’t you because I really don’t know right now.”

“Well I don’t know either…I don’t have that many friends either.”  Both of them paused and stared at each other, neither quite sure what to say.

“Okay how about this,"  Johnny said deciding to speak first.  "No expectations. We'll just...if we see each other at a crime scene or some media event we’ll say hi and if you want to hang out or talk you have my number.”

“You’re kind of making me feel like I’m being a dick.”  Peter sighed feeling like he'd completely lost control of the situation.  He just wanted Aunt May to be safe, and to not almost get Gwen killed, and for Harry's dad to not be his maybe arch-nemesis, and maybe for MJ to be a bit less on team JJJ. 

“You kind of are.”  Johnny said with his arms crossed. 

“…I might have overreacted.”  Peter said to the wall, not looking at Johnny.

“Might?”  Johnny scoffed leaning against the wall.

“Friends?”  Peter asked a little shyly.

“Secret-friends or friends-friends?”  Johnny responded coldly.

“Friends-friends…yeah, I’m good with that.”

“You’re not going to freak out on me again.”

“Freaking out is kind of my thing, it’s basically a Parker genetic trait.”

“Peter I’m never going to endanger you or your Aunt on purpose.”  Johnny said making sure to make eye contact with Peter to show him how serious he was. 

“Okay.”  Peter answered looking back at Johnny.  Johnny smiled softly.

“See you around then?”

“Yeah I’ll see you around Johnny.”

Chapter Text

Peter had found where the lab of the scientist who had done the moth research was supposed to be. It hadn’t been too hard once he’d known the general area to look. Peter had decided to follow Gwen’s advice of looking into where exterminators were getting a lot of business lately and this area had experienced a massive spike in requests for moth extermination. One poor lady had woken up to find her entire apartment complex flooded with moths, literally flooded there had been at least 4 inches of moths everywhere.

It seemed the scientist he was looking for had been privately funded by Oscorp so at least Peter didn’t have to break into Oscorp, again. It was starting to get awkward whenever he ran into Norman, that and the fact that Norman kind of just gave him the creeps. Why Norman decided to fund a guys obsession with moths was beyond him but Peter had stopped questioning the logic of what Norman Osborn funded a while ago.

Spider-Man started breaking through the buildings few security features. The guy really hadn’t gone to much effort but maybe making it known that the lab was overflowing with moths was a security feature of its own. Peter started crawling through the duct to get to the inner building. None of the vents were on, which was a little strange.

“Alright Spidey, just because everything is creepy doesn’t mean you can forget to get photos.” Peter heard the sound of wings beating behind him. “Oh boy.” Peter mumbled. Slowly he looked behind him and saw a swarm of moths coming towards him. “Crawl faster!” He said to himself as he carelessly tumbled out of the first vent exit he came across a waterfall of moths following after him. The buzzing continued as the moths swarmed together and formed the shape of a man. “Okay then…” Peter said as he stood up and stared at the humanoid moth swarm. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with this one. He had been hoping to infiltrate the lab and figure out what was going on, he hadn’t planned on confronting the moths just quite yet. The moth creature cocked its head to the side.

“Gonna have to speak louder than that buddy, I might be a spider but I don’t really speak moth.” The moth looked, as irritated as a moth swarm could look. Walking over to the nearby computer the moth started typing. A computerised voice started speaking.

“You killed my friends.” The computerised voice said.

“Whoa what are you talking about, I didn’t kill anyone?” Laughter filled the air, the moths scattered and milled about behaving naturally again. “Okay…not creepy at all” Peter’s spider sense went crazy as he heard footsteps behind him.

“A man, dressed as a bug. How ridiculous.” Came an accented voice from behind him. “You’re not going to find him.” Peter turned to find a woman clothed in a skin-tight green gold costume with horns that made him think of a minotaur.

“Yeah well, you look like you’re doing some sort of cross between Maleficent and Beowulf’s mother in that, honestly, terrible adaption.” Peter said taking his battle stance.

“Is that supposed to insult me?” The woman asked leaning against the door frame. Peter remained in battle stance but wasn’t quite sure what to do. “Anyways as I was saying you’re not going to find von Meyer.” Peter frowned. Fritz von Meyer was the scientist Gwen had said Oscorp hired.

“Any chance this von Meyer isn’t Fritz von Meyer?” Peter tried. The woman just smiled. “What happened to him?”

“I set his bees free. The poor things had been enslaved to him for decades.” She said walking over to sit in a chair by the computer. Peter swivelled to continue facing her and backed away slightly. “It’s cute that you think facing forward will make you any more effective against me.” She said putting her feet up on the console.

“So you’re telling me von Meyer is off chasing his bees then?” Peter asked. The woman laughed.

“Oh, you really don’t know anything. you’re adorable. I don’t know if I want to explain it to you.” She looked at Peter and hummed softly. “I guess I can be nice today, you are a fellow insect after all. I killed him.  Anyways I guess I’ll leave you the lab, if you don’t find something then you don’t deserve to know. Bye bye, Spider.” She said waving.

“Wait you don’t want the lab? Why’d you get rid of him then?” She looked back at Peter and sighed.

“Are you used to people just telling you everything? Why would I,” she said pointing to herself. “Want a lab that experimented on insects.” She walked over to the door and opened it. The moths took flight and vacated the lap with her as other insects Peter hadn’t even known were there seemed to respond to her and crawl or fly out of the lab.

“Oh look at that, even spiders like me better.” She said with what Peter assumed was a smile. “One last hint Spider. Swarm is dead, I am Swarm now.” The door slammed shut and she disappeared.

“Well then.” Peter said finding himself alone in a lab that he was now pretty sure didn’t have a single insect in it. “Ew…that was so creepy!” Peter yelled to no one as he shook his arms out. “It was like that time I went over to Ant-Man’s house and there were just ants everywhere. Alright, Spider-Man so what do you know. You know this is von Meyer’s lab, you know von Meyer is presumably dead, you know the kind of terrifying lady who presumably killed him is calling herself Swarm and…that’s it. Great.” Peter’s phone buzzed. “If this is Johnny again…oh it’s Harry.”

Hey Pete, I’m having a party tonight. - Harry

“Tonight? Is it tonight already? I kind of have to finish up with the lab tonight. Just because Swarm said she was leaving it for me doesn’t mean she’ll leave it with me permanently.”

My place @ 9 I promise to keep MJ from hounding you about Bugle stuff - Harry

Peter looked at the time on his phone it was 6:35 right now so if he wrapped this up quickly then he could head to Harry’s still after he got the okay from Aunt May of course.

I’ll try I have to check in with Aunt May first - Peter

“That should do it for now.” Peter mumbled as he sat down in front of the computer console turning it on. Almost immediately he connected his external hard-drive to load the lab's data onto it. His phone vibrated again.

Already asked if you could come over tonight, she said yes. You’ve got no out! - Harry

“Dang it. Oh well, guess I better wrap this up quickly.” Peter scanned through the files. A lot of the research was beyond him at a quick glance but there was definitely some bug, related mutation plan going on here. As far as he could tell von Meyer seemed to want to gather an insect army to rule over the earth, classic super-villain, and for some reason seemed to be in communication with Doctor Doom.

“I swear there’s a secret super-villain chat room out there or something. How do they all know each other?” Peter sighed as he continued looking through the files. “Okay here’s the Oscorp funding and it’s for…nope there’s nothing here. Maybe Norman wanted to get in on the silk trade or wage a war on fabric? Ugh, I don’t get it.” Peter continued looking through the research files. “If I was super evil what would I use an army of controllable genetically altered bugs that I have trackers on…there’s actually so many options.” Peter stewed silently while he stared at different pages of Von Meyer’s research. If Doctor Doom was involved he might have to contact the Four to see if they knew what was going on. That being said Norman was Spider-Man’s guy and Peter didn’t have a clue what he was up to. If Spiderman couldn’t find the information, and the Four didn’t know anything then maybe Peter Parker could. Norman did always have a weird fondness sort of jealousy vibe going towards him. He seemed to like him enough but in a kind of ‘I’d like you to be my evil sidekick kind of way’.

“Now I just have to figure out if Johnny’s more likely to tell Peter if he knows anything or Spider-Man.” Peter sighed and admired the solitude of the admittedly creepy lab. “Secret labs are kind of nice, I should get a lair.” Peter went to shoot out his web only to have it fall in front of him. “Great…out of web fluid.” Peter pulled out his cell phone and saw a notification saying he had reached his texting and phone limit. “I’m really going to have to sell more pictures to Jameson soon. Guess I’m bussing to Harry’s.” Peter grabbed the hard drive he’d put the data on and his documentation of the lair and headed out.

Chapter Text

Peter woke up exhausted on Harry’s living room floor.  He sighed as he looked around at the damage from last night that he was going to have to help Harry clean up before his dad got in or his tattle tale cleaning ladies.  Peter looked around and didn’t see Harry, which probably meant he was in his room with MJ.  It was too bad Gwen left last night and wasn’t there to help clean up.  Peter glanced at Flash passed out on the floor and then quickly dismissed the idea of waking him up to have him help clean. 

Standing up and rubbing his head Peter walked carefully to the kitchen to get a glass of water before trying to make a dent in the cleanup.  Undoubtedly people would start waking up and excuse themselves soon.  They might have stayed to help clean up if Harry was awake but since it was just Peter it was just going to be him. 

There was only one upside to Harry still being asleep, it meant MJ was still asleep too.  She’d already cornered him last night after Harry inevitably got distracted by something to talk about him not getting enough shots for the Bugle.  Apparently, he was doing fine on his Spider-Man shots but if he didn’t want JJJ on his back he should step up his game on other heroes, which meant Peter was going to have to follow Johnny around like a puppy for a while so he didn’t get fired.  He needed to pay his phone bill, and get more web fluid, and ideally, help Aunt May with groceries.  His hobbies weren’t exactly helping keep the grocery bill down.

Peter grabbed a trash bag and started filling it with discarded bottles and food items.  He really needed this crazy moth thing to be over already.  He’d managed to keep his grades up but his friends were starting to bug him about not being around, Gwen was super suspicious of something being up, and he wasn’t making a good impression at the Bugle.  He needed that job.  He maybe needed to go to sleep again too, he never slept around other people.  His spider-senses couldn’t calm down, especially with people he didn’t know or people like Flash around.  Peter’s senses alerted him to Flash waking up. 

“Want some help?”  Flash mumbled while sitting up and stretching. 

“I’m sure Harry would appreciate it.”  Peter shrugged. 

“As long as we’re both clear I’m not doing this to help you out.”  Flash muttered.  They worked in silence as people began waking up and excusing themselves as the left.  It was good Flash was helping out.  He only had to glare at them a little and they would clean up the place they had set up camp for the night or any leftover snacks they started eating to dull their hangovers.  Peter wasn’t about to tell him how much easier this was than last time he had to clean up one of Harry’s parties though.  “So you and MJ are on JJJ’s Spidey assassination team then?”

“What?”  Peter asked while they both continued working.  He’d stopped worrying about waking people up.  It might be Saturday but he had a lot to do today.

“You know, JJJ’s mission to ruin Spidey’s reputation and all that.  It’s lame, I’m not surprised you’d sell the poor guy out though.  Even though he’s saved everyone so many times.”  Flash said as he kicked a kid who was still sleeping so that he could start cleaning that area of the room too.  Who would have thought Flash was a Spider-Man fan, Peter thought. 

“I’m not on the Bugle’s team, I’m on their payroll and if that’s what they want then that’s what they get.”

“Sell out.”  Flash muttered.  Peter sighed in frustration, he really could never win with Flash. Peter decided the best course of action was ignoring him and continuing to clean.  “Do you think you could get me his autograph?”  Peter stopped.

“Umm…I guess?”  Peter said not quite sure how to respond to that.  Flash tried to hide his glee. 

“You probably can’t even get one, being a nobody photographer and all.”  Flash said while starting to clean again.  And there was the Flash he knew and hated, Peter thought while throwing a can into the garbage bag. 

When all trash had been picked up Flash left tossing the tied garbage bag directly at Peter claiming he thought he was going to catch it.  “Thank goodness I thought he’d never leave.”  MJ sighed walking out from wherever she was hiding.  “I mean I guess it was nice of him to help Harry out but I was getting really hungry.” 

“He can’t possibly be that bad to you.”  Peter said while taking the bags to the garbage chute after unlocking it.  They’d all learned the importance of locking the garbage chute after one of their parties became a not-secret party after one of the drunk guests threw whatever he could get his hands on directly down the chute. 

“He’s not.”  MJ said as she opened the fridge and starting toasting some pre-made waffles for her and Peter.  “I just don’t really want to see him wagging his eyebrows or asking how the party was today since he’s going to pull that on Monday anyways.”  She made a face while pulling out plates.   

“Do you think we should vacuum?”  Peter said looking at the chips scattered on the floor.

“Don’t worry, I got it.  Harry’s scrubbing everything though, I’ll supervise of course.”   MJ drummed her fingers on the counter.  “Hey, Pete about me cornering you last night…”

“It’s fine MJ.”  Peter shrugged.  “You weren’t wrong, I’ve been slacking a bit.”

“Pete I know you’re not slacking, you’ve got a lot going on and I did put in your application without asking you.”  She said turning to pull the waffles out of the toaster.  “Plus like, Harry went to so much effort to get you to come to  a party and then I of all people made you go non-party mode.”

“It’s cool, I’m like permanent party-mom.”  Peter said sitting down at the bar and MJ slid him the waffles.  He was starving, how did he not notice he was this hungry?

“Seriously though, if you don’t want to follow Johnny Storm or need me to keep JJJ off your back-“

“MJ”  Peter said while chewing his waffles.  He swallowed quickly.  “This is important to you, I get it.  You love being in front of the camera and this internship going well will help you get there.”

“But it’s not just about me.”

“MJ.”  Peter said interrupting her before she could add anything else to her response.  “I need the money.  So unless you can think of an easier way for me to make money…”  Peter smiled.  MJ ducked her head and grinned back a little as she decided to drop it. 

“You could make Johnny Storm your sugar daddy.”  She said with what he assumed to be fake seriousness. 

“And that’s my cue to leave.”  Peter said shoving the rest of the waffles into his mouth.  MJ laughed.

“But you’d be so cute together!”  She called.

“This is why Gwen is my favourite ex!”  He yelled back as he started to leave MJ’s laughter following him as he left Harry’s. 

________________

“I’m telling you I can’t call him I’m out of phone minutes!”  Peter said as his hands were up in the air.  He officially hated his life, how was he getting held hostage for the second time within a week?  He’d just been walking home minding his own business and decided to cut through the park and then what happened, his spider-sense went off and next thing he knew Peter Parker was in a hostage situation, again.  He sighed. 

“Then text him.”  The guy one of the four guys said while they pointed a gun at him.  He really shouldn’t be so calm around guns, he could probably avoid it if he needed to though.  Probably.

“I’m out of texts too.”  Peter sighed. The guy frowned and waved his gun threateningly as his three friends muttered to themselves.

“You expect me to believe that someone as loaded and famous as Johnny Storm lets his boyfriend wander around with no way to contact him.”

“Not his boyfriend.”  Peter muttered, mostly to himself.  No one was listening to him anyways.  He wondered how this rumour hadn’t died out completely yet, but their recent hangouts and paths crossing too often probably kept people who were looking for things suspicious.  It had only been two weeks, but they were shaping out to be the longest two weeks of Peter’s life. 

“Just face it, your boyfriend is going to have to pay up if he wants you unharmed.” 

“Well can I use your phone then?”  Peter asked.  All he had wanted was a nice stroll through some trees, not run into some opportunistic criminals that were hanging near a pokestop they’d made a hot spot.

“No way I don’t want the Fantastic Four to have my number.”  The guy said angrily.  Peter groaned. 

“Okay then how about we all walk towards the convenience store, I’ll pick up a phone card and then I’ll load my phone.”

“So you do have his number!”  Damn it, Peter thought.  I shouldn’t have said that.  “Fine.  Lead the way.”  The guy shrugged putting his gun in his pocket still pointing it at Peter.  “Don’t get any idea’s.  There’s four of us.”

“Okay, just one more thing.”  The criminals all looked at him with a glare.  “Can someone spot me ten dollars for a phone card?” 

“Johan, you sure this guy is dating Torch?  He’s broke as fuck.”  Well that was the smartest and most accurate thing any of them had said so far.

“I’m telling you it’s real man!”

“Where’d you see it.”

“You know-“

“Where, Johan?”

“Buzzfeed, like a week ago?”

“DAMN IT JOHAN!”  Johan shrugged as his friend glared at him.  “We talked about this man!”

“I can just go if that’s easier for you guys.  Or like, maybe we can do this next week?”  Peter tried while they all glared at each other.  It wasn't his fault he was super broke.

“March buddy!”  Peter sighed and started walking towards the convenience store.  “Seriously, who still uses a pre-paid phone.” 

The walk to the convenience store was awkward to say the least.  Impulsive kidnappers were not big on small talk and they were also extremely tense.  A few of them mumbled about what a stupid idea it was to try and blackmail a guy who could literally turn into an inferno.  Peter thought about making a run for it but even if they were bad shots or the gun was empty there was still the risk of getting shot, which wasn’t ideal for Peter Parker.  Dealing with criminals was so much easier when he was Spider-Man.  Somehow he didn't think his history of boxing was going to convince anyone that he was capable of taking down four men in their early twenties. 

“So how much are you guys asking for.”  Peter said trying to start some small talk.

“What’s it to you?  My shoes are worth more than everything on you combined.”  One answered.

“That’s harsh.  True, but harsh.”   

“Are we even sure Torch’ll pay for him?”  Another muttered. 

“Yeah man, Torch is a good guy.  He’d probably pay for a stranger.”  Johan said.  Peter was starting to wonder if Johan and his friends really wanted money, or if they just wanted to meet the Human Torch.  The convenience store was thankfully pretty empty. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?  Grab one?” 

“I’m just not sure which one would work the best.”  One of the guys leaned over and grabbed a random one handing it to Peter with a glare.  “Sure this one's good.”  The guy rolled his eyes as he passed Peter a ten to cover the phone card.  They all stepped out of the store together.

“We’ll stay here.”  One of them announced.  Peter didn’t have an argument with that.  Being in public was safer for him as well.  They were less likely to shoot him, although he didn’t think they really would unless one of them panicked.  “Alright make the call.” 

“Just gotta load the phone first.”  Peter sighed as he dialed the number to connect out and load the phone.  “Okay all good.”  Peter said as the criminals stared at him.  “Oh you want me to call him now don’t you?  Right, okay.”  Peter sighed again and picked Johnny’s number from his contacts. 

“Hello?”  Johnny answered after a few rings.  Peter withheld his sigh of relief.  He hadn't been sure if Johnny would pick up or not. 

“Oh hey, how are you?”  Peter said into the phone not really knowing how to start a conversation about him being in a hostage situation, again. 

“Put it on speaker.”  One of the guys demanded. 

“Really?”  Peter asked him as the guy glared.  “Okay, fine.  Speaker it is.” 

“Why are you putting me on Speaker, are you bragging about knowing me Pete?  I’m touched.” 

“Umm…not exactly.  So you know when you were getting pizza and I was there and then I had to hold the pizza.”

“Yeah?”

“Well…”

“No.”

“Yep.”

“Again?”

“I told you!  The universe hates me.”  Peter said exasperatedly.  Johnny sighed over the phone.

“Where are you?”  Peter looked at his kidnappers who just kind of hadn’t intervened so far. 

“So like is this still going on or have you guys changed your minds and now you’re just going to leave?”  They looked at each other with hesitation.  Peter could hear Johnny moving around on the other side of the line. 

“I kind of want his autograph.”  Johan said shifting on the spot.

“DAMN IT JOHAN!”

“Okay…so this kidnapping has turned into a forced meet and greet then?” 

“Ugh fine.  But I better not get charged with anything. And tell the Human Torch to bring ten bucks to cover the phone card.” 

“I got your location Pete, I’ll be right there.”  Johnny said sounding very serious.  Peter hoped Johnny hadn't made Reed track his phone, that might make it harder for him to carry his phone around as Spider-Man.  

“No rush, we're just kind of chilling.  Maybe we’ll get snacks you know, chills times.”  Peter stood awkwardly with his four former kidnappers as they all waited for Johnny to show up.  “You know you can put your gun away.  He might react better if he doesn't see it.”  The guy blushed a little and tucked it away so it wasn’t pointed at Peter anymore.  A rush of light came towards them as Johnny landed next to them in full flame.  He seemed angry.

“Are you alright?”  He asked stepping in between Peter and the four young men.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Wanna flame off maybe?  I think you’re making the convenience store worried about their fire insurance.”  Johnny stared at Peter for a moment and glared at the men before finally flaming off.

“We’re leaving.” 

“Hey no arguments from me but could you maybe sign a few autographs first and spot me ten bucks?”  Peter said putting his hands up in mock surrender when Johnny glared at him again.  “Please?”  Peter tried.  Johnny’s face softened a little.  He turned to the men with a sigh.

“I’d say it’s always nice to meet fans, but this isn’t super great guys.”  Johnny said as they had the decency to look guilty.  Johnny sighed and signed autographs and handed Peter ten dollars which Peter then handed to Johan as Johnny continued to look unhappy.  “Can we go now?”  Johnny said. 

“Yeah, yeah.  Bye guys, nice hang out.  Let’s not do this again, okay?”  Peter called as Johnny pulled him away around the corner.  Peter stumbled after him having to quicken his pace to keep up with Johnny’s so he wasn’t being literally dragged.  “Slow down man.”

“Sorry.”  Johnny muttered slowing his pace a little and redirecting them so they were walking towards Peter’s house.  “Are you hurt?”  Johnny asked glancing over at Peter but not really looking at him.

“Nah, it was still less awkward than any chats I’ve had with Norman while Harry’s out of the room.  Those are painful.”  Peter tried,  Johnny didn’t laugh.

“So they didn’t punch you or anything?  No stab wounds?”

“Nada.”

“I’m not gonna have to check?”  Johnny said with a bit of a smirk finally.

“And there’s the Johnny I kind of sort of know.  Seriously, I’m fine.  Let’s not tell Aunt May though, okay?”  Johnny was quiet for a while as they walked.  "Sorry, I would have dealt with it myself but-"

“I’m sorry.”  Johnny spat out.

“For what?”  Peter asked.  He looked over at Johnny’s face to see him frowning in anger.  Peter stopped.  “Hey what’s up?”

“I promised I wasn’t going to endanger you or your Aunt and I’ve already broken it.  Maybe you were right.  Maybe we shouldn’t be friends.”

“And you thought I was going to be the one who would freak out.”

“Peter I’m serious.”

“I am too, it is so nice to not be the irrational freak out person.  Hold on I’m going to savour this moment.  Should we take a selfie to commemorate it?” 

“Peter-“

“Johnny.”  Peter mocked back.  Johnny frowned.

“How can you not be mad at me?”

“Oh come on Johnny you didn’t do this.  Some stupid kids in a park did this.  Plus they would have acted just based on the papers and if I didn’t have your number and we weren’t friends then where would I be?”  Peter probably would have been fighting them hand to hand and hopefully avoiding a gang target on his back but Johnny didn’t need to know that.    “Wanna eat pizza and play video games?  Although I don’t have money for pizza so we’ll be eating Aunt May’s leftover casserole surprise.”

“Don’t you have a tonne of homework?”  Johnny said while kicking the ground a bit.

“Yeah…but I did just get kidnapped so I think I deserve a study break.  Unless you’d rather do homework together.”  Peter teased with a smile.  Johnny warmed up a little more and smiled at Peter.

“Nope.  Reed would be super suspicious if I didn’t bomb one of his assignments.  It’s his fault really, I don’t know why he thinks what he’s giving me is high school curriculum.”

“Probably because he’s a genius and kind of amazing.”  Peter responded quickly trying to keep Johnny distracted.

“Please don’t tell me Reed is your favourite member of the Four.”

“Alright, I won’t tell you.”  Peter said sticking his hands in his pocket.

“You’re the worst.  I hate you.  I am so much cooler than Reed.”  Peter just smiled not responding to Johnny.  “This is so not fair.  Spider-Man is your favourite superhero, now Reed is your favourite Four member?  I’m at least the best looking out of all of them right?”

“I don’t know what Spider-Man’s face looks like.”  Peter lied smoothly.  “I kind of think he might be more attractive.”  Johnny groaned.

“Well, I’m at least the best Four member right?  Please don’t say my sister.” 

“Ben’s kind of my type.”  Johnny punched him in the shoulder lightly. “Don’t worry Torch, you’ll always be the most immature.”  Peter said with a smile.

“I’ll have you know I also lead in tabloid coverage.”  They walked quietly together as Johnny lost himself in his thoughts.  Eventually, Peter couldn’t take it anymore.

“Johnny I can hear you thinking.”

“That’s not a thing.”  Johnny muttered. Peter sighed.

“Alright, so distraction has officially failed.  Lay it on me Storm.  You’re just going to stew for like a week otherwise so we might as well hash this pity party out now.  Unless you’ve got another idea for a distraction.”

“Oh I’ve got a few.”  Johnny said mostly to the air.

“Shut up.”

“And here I thought you wanted me to talk.”  Both of them remained silent for a while.  “I’m just not really used to people around me not being able to protect themselves.  I’m just…a bit freaked out I guess.  I mean I worry about Sue all the time, Reed too,  even Ben.  But it’s…it’s different.”

“What the heck man?”  Peter said with a frown.  “I can protect myself just fine.  I’m not an abandoned puppy caught in the middle of the street during a rain storm, ya'know?”

“What?”

“I can look out for myself, like fight me.”

“What?”

“Fight me right now.”

“Pete, I’m not going to fight you.”

“Okay well you can’t flame on obviously because I can’t punch a human made out of fire but-“  Johnny started laughing.  “I’m serious Johnny!”

“I’m taking you very seriously Parker.”  Johnny responded while laughing.  “How about we fight it out in Super Smash Bros so I don’t have to explain to your aunt why you have a black eye.”  Johnny’s eyes crinkled.  Peter shook his head and smiled. 

______________________

Johnny had gotten a call from Reed half way through their hang out that the Four had been called into action and Peter, being more than a little curious and more than a little in need of some cash had swung out of his room as Spider-Man shortly after with his camera. 

“Great plan Spider-Man.  Just swing in on their battle.  Maybe help them out a little bit.  Introduce yourself hero to hero.”  Peter felt a pain in his side as he was slammed into the side of a building.  “Not fun.”  He muttered as he slid down the wall and watched the Rhino continue on his rampage.  “Dang it, not even my own villains take me seriously.”  Peter bounded after Rhino swinging above him.  “Come on buddy, why are you messing around with the Four I thought we had something special.” 

The Rhino picked up a car and threw it at Spider-Man.  Peter sighed as he watched the car fly into a building.  He was going to get so much crap for that, at least these shots would sell well he thought as he clicked the remote he’d set up in his suit to take photos on demand.  Peter felt like sighing again.  He hadn’t even managed to run into the Four yet, how was Spider-Man supposed to get on good terms with them?  Peter’s spider sense tingled and he leaped off of his wall spot just in time for the Thing to fly through it.  “Well, that’s one way to find them.”  Peter muttered aloud to himself. 

“Spider-Man always nice to see you.”  He heard a familiar voice say.  Peter looked up and saw Johnny in full flames beside him. 

“So you guys weren’t called in to fight the Rhino then?”  Peter said with confusion as the Rhino began running away leaving whatever he’d stolen previously.  Peter hadn’t even known what it was, it had really been a weird coincidence running into him.  “Dang it.”  Peter went to shoot web fluid to chase after him and bug Johnny later only to find he hadn’t refilled his web shooters enough yet.  That Bugle paycheck couldn’t come soon enough.  “I really need to start carrying spares of those.”

“You don’t carry spares?

“They’re really expensive and I was in a rush.  I was expecting a casual swing through not a fight with the Rhino.  Who are you guys fighting anyways?”  Johnny pointed to a guy Sue had stuck in a forcefield while Reed started up some contraption. 

“Lab accident.”  Johnny shrugged.  “It was one of Reed’s old school friends labs so he called us in early and handed over the research to Reed so he could hopefully reverse it.  It’s not like I really need to be fighting a guy who can’t remember who he is and turns his body into some sort of weird conscious liquid.”

“Hmm…hey I could totally beat you in a fight right?”  Peter asked somewhat out of the blue.

“What?  No way I’d totally win in a fight.”  Johnny said with his arms crossed.  Ben groaned from his spot on the ground and started to sit up. 

“Peter thinks I’d win in a fight.”  Peter muttered before he could stop himself. 

“Yeah well, Pete also decided he could beat me in a fight so I’m not going to take his opinion very seriously today.”  Peter and Johnny watched as Ben stood up and ignored both of them in favour of walking towards Reed and Sue.  He didn’t look very happy, but he never looked that happy. 

“What’s up Ben?  Something under your skin?”  Johnny called with a grin on his face.  Peter’s spider sense tingled and he pulled Johnny down with him just in time to avoid the debris Ben had thrown their way.  “That’s no way to introduce yourself to new kid Ben!”  Johnny called from the ground.  Ben sighed and walked over as Sue whispered something to him that probably had to do with saying someone had to babysit Johnny and her and Reed were both busy.

“So who's this guy?” 

“Ouch, that hurts a little.  And here I thought JJJ gave me enough flack that people would know who I am at least.” 

“Oh, the menace?  Aren’t you the reason the Museum is closed for repairs right now?  I’d wanted to see that exhibit.”

“Okay that was not my fault.  And contrary to popular belief my official name is Spider-Man, not the menace.” 

“So what are you up to next?”  Johnny asked, deciding to save Peter from small talk with Ben.

“Eh, maybe homework?”  Peter said absent-mindedly.  Ben’s scowl broke and changed into a look of worry.

“Homework?”  He said slowly and carefully.  Peter looked from Ben’s concerned face to Johnny’s which seemed relatively indifferent to the news.  “How old are you?”

“What?  No way man.  Secret identity.  This body is a sacred thing that must be protected.”

“You have a giant gash on your leg.”  Johnny said with an eyebrow raised.

“This body is a sacred thing that heals at a slightly accelerated rate.”

“As long as you’re not some creepy 25-30-year-old hitting on Johnny, which is what Reed was worried about.”  Ben muttered.

“What?”  Peter shrieked.  “I am not hitting on Torch.  If anything he is harassing me.  Dude’s shown up at like four of my fights.”

“You were getting beat up by moths, I feel like you should just say thank you for that one.”  Johnny said shrugging.  “Ah well wanna grab a bite?  There’s not much more Ben or I could do here.  Dude literally turns into liquid, neither of us are super useful here.” 

“Well, I do have a few questions I have to ask, umm…about Victor von Doom.”  Johnny and Ben froze up at that a bit. 

“Why do you need to know about Doom?”  Ben asked.

“Okay so long story short Doom was corresponding with this dude named Fritz von Meyer aka Swarm who was allegedly receiving funding from Oscorp and is also apparently the TBT villain of the week straight out of World War II but when I went to his lab this lady was there and she just said she killed him and she was Swarm now but she clearly wasn’t made out of bees so I don’t know what she’s talking about.  Also there didn’t seem to be a lot of research going on so I don’t know what Oscorp was trying to fund or Doom was trying to encourage.”  Both of them stared at him.  “Anyways, so you guys know anything?” 

“Dude, do you have like any normal villains?”  Johnny asked just staring at him.  “So the dude was made out of bees?”

“Yeah they’re like these bees that like absorbed his consciousness or something and then he controlled them all and she like freed them from his mind or something so now there’s just a swarm of mutant bees living happily in New Jersey or something.”

“And I thought a guy who turned into liquid was weird.  Seriously?  Bees?  Why all the moths then.”

“If I knew the answers to this stuff I wouldn’t be asking you now would I?”  Peter said in frustration.  “I get it the bees are kind of weird can we move on.” 

“Sorry Spider-Man.”  Ben shrugged.  “You’d have to ask Reed about any of Doom’s activities, he’s really a better source for that stuff.  Most of the time we don’t know what Doom’s up to until we’re fighting against it though.”  Peter groaned in frustration.  Johnny glanced over at Reed and Sue.  Sue had lowered the forcefield and they seemed to be making progress with re-solidifying the poor guy who’d gotten on the wrong end of a lab experiment. 

“Reed looks pretty busy still.  Wanna swing by tomorrow or something?  Give me your number, I’ll text you when it’s a good time.”  Johnny said pulling out his phone.  Peter paused.  He only had one phone and he couldn’t exactly give Johnny Peter Parker’s number twice.  Dang it, Spider-Man could really use some superhero networking. 

“Umm…I don’t have a cell phone.” 

“What?”

“Secret identity, dude.  I live off the grid.  I’m like the Bear Grylls of New York.”

“Bear Grylls has a TV show.”

“And I have a paper that follows my every crime fighting adventure it’s a perfect fit.”  Both Ben and Johnny just stared at him.  “How about you text Peter and then Peter can notify me.”  Sue looked like she was about to walk over and Peter wasn’t sure he could take getting grilled by Sue Storm for information right now, also he did really really need to do his homework.  “Cool, ttyl, ttfn, later days, catch you on the thwip side.  Get it it's like flip side, but thwip side?  Oh man, I need to go.  Okay bye.”  Peter walked towards the nearest building and started crawling it quickly towards the alley so he could disappear from sight.   

Chapter Text

“Sunday’s going to be a good day Aunt May I can feel it.”  Peter said while eating cereal. 

“That’s great Peter, do you think you could expand on that between bites instead of while you’re eating.”  Aunt May responded as she drank coffee and read the newspaper. 

“Seriously, Aunt May.  I’ve got all my homework done.  I’ve already seen all my friends so they can’t possibly want to see me again.  I could take the day off.”  Peter grabbed his juice and slouched back in his seat.  Today was going to be great.  Maybe he had to stop by the Baxter Building to talk to Mr Fantastic but who knew if that would even happen. 

“From what?”  Aunt May asked with a teasing smile as she glanced up at him.  “You don’t have to do anything for the Bugle?” 

“I knew I forgot something.”  Peter muttered.  “It’s fine, I think…I mean I’m freelance so I’m free when I want to be right?  Let’s do something.” 

“Well,”  Aunt May said thoughtfully.  “We both had wanted to go to the exhibition the Midtown Library has on book restoration.”  Peter was suddenly glad he mostly ranted to his Aunt about exhibits he wanted to see.  He sounded like a total nerd. 

“Sweet let's do that.”  Peter said smiling at his Aunt.  They hadn’t spent time together outside of the house in a while.  Peter’s phone buzzed in his pocket.  He sighed, he’d just made plans with Aunt May he couldn’t cancel them. 

Hey Pete, wanna swing by with Spider-Man around 2?  - Johnny

Sure I’ll tell him to stop by around 2 - Peter

Great can’t wait to see you! :)  - Johnny

Peter paused.  Him?  Did Johnny somehow figure out that he was Spider-Man?  There’s no way Johnny Storm figured out he was Spider-Man after just a few weeks.  Peter read Johnny’s first message again.  Did Johnny think they were both coming?  Well, technically they would be both there, not that Johnny would know that.

Can’t make it, hanging out with Aunt May.  - Peter

???? Why is Spider-Man hanging out with Aunt May?  - Johnny

Peter sighed.  He was going to blow through this ten dollar phone card so fast.  He wondered how much JJJ would pay him for a photo of Spider-Man littering. 

I’m hanging out with Aunt May.  Spider-Man can be there around 2.  - Peter

Noooooooooooooooo!  You should come.  He’s going to tell us more about this dude that’s made out of bees!  - Johnny

I already know about the bee dude.  Face it man, you can’t trump quality time with Aunt May.  - Peter

I’ll give you a tour of the Baxter Building and you can meet everyone ;)  - Johnny

Hmmm no. - Peter

I’ll make it worth it ;) ;) ;) - Johnny

Say I could beat you in a fight. - Peter

Well then, I guess you’re never coming over.  - Johnny

You’re just worried your family would side with me.  Have fun with Spider-Man.  Tell Ben I love him.  - Peter

Peter chuckled and put his phone away ignoring the buzzes that followed his last message.  No response was better than a response for Johnny sometimes. 

“Are you still good to go?”  Aunt May asked as she started tidying up breakfast. 

“Of course, nowhere else I’d rather spend my day.”  Aunt May smiled as she grabbed Peter’s dishes as well.

“So what time do you need to split?”  She asked with a knowing smirk.

“Two?”  Peter said wincing a little.  Aunt May nodded.

“We’d better get going soon then.” 

The exhibit was fantastic, partially because they had a bunch of outdated scientific research that Peter got to read through but also because none of the books were cursed, possessed, or sentient.  It was indeed a very good Sunday.  Aunt May bid Peter goodbye at the library and grabbed a late lunch with some friends leaving Peter free to head to the Baxter building.  Peter really needed to stop making friends with people who owned buildings, Aunt May and him didn’t even own their home.  His spider-sense went off.  Peter looked around for what it could possibly be.  He knew he should listen to it, but it really could be warning him of anything.  He felt a hand clap on his shoulder and a familiar smell invaded his nose.  Oh shit, Peter thought.

“Pete!  I thought you were hanging out with Aunt May.”  Johnny Storm said with a carefree grin.  Peter hoped the mantra of shit, shit, shit that was running through his head didn’t show on his face. 

“I was, she just left to meet her friends for a late lunch.  I was heading home…”  he was done all his homework, what was he planning on doing?  “…To sew.”  Peter wanted to punch himself the face.  He did have to fix his suit but he couldn’t exactly say that.  Maybe if he expanded on it, it would sound better?  “Umm…I need new Pyjama pants.”  Peter sighed internally, he continued to be amazed that he managed to keep his identity as Spider-Man a secret since he clearly was a terrible liar. 

“That’s weird man.  Just buy new ones.”  Johnny said completely forgetting the fact that Peter clearly did not have disposable income.  “If you were with your Aunt why are you at the library?”   Johnny asked with a frown.

“They have an exhibit on book restoration.”  Peter said plainly to a dumbfounded Johnny.

“Oh god, you’re such a nerd.”

“What I am not!”

“No honestly.  You really need to come over right now otherwise I think you’re going die because of how lame you are.  Book restoration?”

“Aren’t you meeting Spider-Man anyways?”

“He’s a superhero and your friend, he should also want to save you from this level of supreme lameness.  Did you even read any of my texts?”

“How many did you send?  You probably used up all of the ten dollars I’d loaded onto it yesterday already.”  Peter said pulling out his phone.  Yep, there were a bunch of unread messages and a few notifications that his account was empty again, great.  Peter sighed. 

“Phone card?”  Johnny asked.  Johnny who had clearly never been on a limited phone plan in his life.  Peter wasn’t jealous, but he did really want to throttle Johnny because of his ignorance.  It wasn’t like Harry texted him 50 times a day, Harry knew that Peter couldn’t afford that.

“Yeah what do you think the ten dollars was for?”

“Umm…ransom money?”  Johnny said shrugging.  Peter stared at him dumbfounded.

“You thought I was getting ransomed for 10 dollars?”  He asked with a slight shriek in his voice.  Johnny winced at the pitch Peter seemed to be able to hit.

“I thought they were being dumb and it was a good deal.  What did you want me to say?  That you’re worth more than 10 dollars?”  Johnny paused.  “I mean you totally are, that’s not what I meant.  I meant that I didn’t want them to ask for more?”  Johnny looked uncomfortable.  Peter groaned in frustration.

“I can’t believe you thought I was worth 10 dollars!  That’s less than a movie ticket!” 

“Oh come on Pete you’re totally not worth 10 dollars.” 

“Oh really?”  Peter responded.  “I’m not worth 10 dollars?”

“Yeah you’re worth at least 10.25”  Johnny said unwilling to stop himself.  Peter let out a frustrated sound and started to walk away.  Johnny followed after him laughing.  “You don’t need to be jealous just because I’ve been ransomed for 5 million before.” 

“It wasn’t going to be 10 dollars!” 

“Oh did they tell you how much?”  Johnny asked smiling.

“No, they said that people who have less money on them than the cost of their shoes shouldn’t ask.  But like the dude was wearing 600 dollar Jordan’s.” 

“You had less than 600 dollars on you?  What about your credit card?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Bank card?”

“Not on me.  I was hanging out at Harry’s it wasn’t like I was doing groceries.”

“Okay but your clothes are worth-“

“In total?  Like 60 dollars maybe?”

“Well, that’s a generous estimate.”

“HEY!” 

“So you had no cash or cards on you and an empty pre-paid cell phone.  What if they were murders?”

“I had my bus pass.”  Johnny stared at Peter.  “I don’t see how a credit card would have helped me ward of murders.”

“How would they identify your body?”

“I had my student ID on me.”

“Ugh forget it I can’t handle this conversation anymore.  Wanna hang out at mine ’til Spider-Man gets there.”

“I already said-“

“You had to sew pyjama pants, which is a horrible excuse.  Come on it’ll be fun, I’ll show you Reed’s lab.”  Peter swallowed his excitement, he did really want to see Reed’s lab.

“I really can’t”  Literally Peter couldn’t.  It wasn’t like he could be in two places at once.  Johnny looked past Peter with a frown as Peter continued to reach for a good excuse.  “I…I forgot my sunglasses.  My eyes are super sensitive so I better go get those.  And like I have glasses so they’re prescription so they’re expensive.”  Johnny grabbed onto Peter and started dragging him after him. “What?”

“Sorry options gone, paparazzi.”  He said as he put sunglasses on.  Peter wanted to laugh.  Johnny Storm in sunglasses stood out just as much as Johnny Storm without sunglasses.

“What?  But I am the paparazzi!  I mean I’m the fancy paparazzi but still.” 

“And I’m Lady Gaga. Here this way, I don’t think they’ve gotten any photos yet.”  Johnny said as he pulled up his hood.

“I thought you liked the tabloids.”  Peter said sighing as he got dragged along by Johnny, probably towards the Baxter building.  Maybe Spider-Man could cancel on the Four?  Or maybe Reed would be busy and have to cancel.

“Yeah but you hate them.”  Johnny said answering Peter’s question.

“Oh.”  Peter muttered as Johnny took him through the alleys to the Baxter building.  It probably would have been faster to fly but that definitely would have caught people's attention.  Peter tried to think of different ways to escape from Johnny as he pulled him along but nothing came to mind.  Maybe a well-timed Spider-Man impersonator would show up somewhere so he could lie to them about being busy.  Before Peter realized it all his chances were gone and they had arrived at the Baxter Building.

“And here we are, home sweet home.”  Johnny said with a smile pulling them in straight into the elevators.  Peter looked around not quite sure what was going on. 

“So when you say home sweet home-“  Peter asked as the elevator door closed.  “Do you mean like where you live home.  Like with everyone else?”

“What else would I mean?”  Johnny asked with a frown.

“I don’t know.”  Peter sighed leaning against the elevator wall.  He glanced at himself in the mirror and couldn’t help feeling like he looked out of place.  Johnny looked comfortable in what was probably the fanciest elevator Peter had ever been in.  He was well rested and well dressed.  Peter, in contrast, looked like he’d robbed a clothing donation bin and had gotten 4 hours of sleep, which was not completely inaccurate.  “Do your windows open, I think I might have to jump out of one of them.”  Peter muttered.  Johnny rolled his eyes and ignored him.

“Relax Pete, this’ll be fun.” 

“I feel like no one should ever trust you when you say something like that.”  Peter said to the ceiling.  The elevator doors popped open and Johnny walked out.  Peter stayed where he was and briefly wondered if he could get away with just not moving and riding the elevator back down.  Johnny glanced back at him expectantly.  With a sigh, Peter walked out of the elevator. 

“Oh my goodness, you’re acting like a distrustful small animal.”  Johnny sighed.  Peter glared at him.

“Hi Johnny.”  Someone called from the kitchen.

“Hey Sue, I brought a friend over!”

“I said no parties, Johnny.”  Sue said flatly as she walked around the corner.  “Oh,”  Sue looked Peter up and down anger disappearing from her face. “Never mind.” 

“Told you, you looked lame.”  Johnny said to Peter with a smirk.  “What are we having for lunch Sue?”

“No lunch until you finish that assignment Reed gave you.”  Sue said going back to whatever she was doing. 

“But I’ll starve then!”  He said dramatically.

“I know for a fact you ate an hour ago.  Plus you could cook, then you wouldn’t starve.”  Sue said with a glare.  “Don’t you dare ask Ben to cook for you instead either.”

“I wasn’t going to, I don’t want him to slip laxatives into my food or something.”

“Only you would do that.”  Sue said with a sigh.  Johnny sat himself down at the kitchen table comfortably.  Peter remained standing in the middle of the room awkwardly.

“Pop a squat, my man.”  Johnny said with a smirk as he patted the chair next to him.  Peter reluctantly sat down as Sue dropped a decently large stack of papers in front of him. 

“Come on Johnny.  I can’t deal with Reed thinking he’s a terrible teacher anymore.  Please, please just do your assignments.”  Sue said making eye contact with Johnny.   Johnny whistled.

“Wow, he’s that bad?”  He said eyebrows raised with a smirk.  “What do I get.”

“Knowledge is the greatest reward.”  Peter muttered as he shifted the assignments slightly closer to himself to see what homework assignments from Dr Richards looked like.  The room went slightly quiet.  Peter looked up at a slack-jawed Johnny and a shocked Sue Storm.  Peter’s face turned slightly red in embarrassment.  Sue started laughing. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.  Peter right?  I should explain.  That’s exactly what Reed said when Johnny asked what he would get out of doing his homework.”  She smiled at him fondly.  “He was hoping for a car.”

“Ugh, Sue stop embarrassing me.  Pete, Earth to Pete.”  Johnny snapped his fingers in front of Peter who had started reading through the questions. 

“Dude stop bugging me I want to read these.” 

“You want to read my homework assignment questions?” 

“Yeah man they’re pretty interesting.”

“Okay but they’re not like what you would get in class right?”

“Nah, not in my regular classes.  I mean Conners might give me this kind of stuff for fun but otherwise, it’s not really normal curriculum.” 

“SEE SUE!  There’s no reason I should have to do this assignment.  Honestly, I should get a car for all the time I’ve wasted and the pain this workload has caused me.”  Sue rolled her eyes and ignored him.  Peter had pulled grabbed the pencil and pad that Sue had dropped and started solving the equations.  “Dude, are you doing my homework?”

“Hmm?”  Peter asked pushing his glasses up.  “Oh sorry, I didn’t notice.”  Peter said putting down the pencil leaving a half completed second question.  Johnny glanced over at the paper.

“How did you do that so fast?  Ugh, that’s not fair.  I mean I can do them but it takes forever and let me tell you, Google does not know the answer to these questions.”   

“Do you want me to walk you through them?”  Peter asked. 

“Ugh, I invited you over to save you from your lameness this plan is backfiring.”

“You better get them done before Spider-Man stops by Johnny otherwise you can’t join the meeting.”  Sue said putting a plate of sandwiched directly beside Peter and slapping Johnny’s hand away when he tried to reach over to grab one.  “They’re for Peter.” 

“But Peter’s here,  He’s like best buds with Spider-Man, Spider-Man would be sad if Peter and I weren’t there.”

“Then Peter can join in but you’re doing your homework.”  She said while walking away.  Peter managed to keep his panic off his face.  Peter most certainly could not be at a meeting between Spider-Man and the Four.  “I’ll never get this done in time.”  Johnny sighed. 

“Come on it’ll be fun.”  Peter said.  “Look Dr Richards even made all the questions about stuff you like.  See this one is about cars, this one's about airplanes and look this one is about your powers so it’s about your favourite topic - yourself.”  Johnny glared at Peter. 

“We can’t be friends anymore.  I am nothing like this boring science question.”  Peter sighed and handed Johnny the pencil so he would be the one writing it. 

“Come on Flame Brain, this isn’t going to be nearly as painful as you think it is.”

“Can I get something for every question I answer?”  Johnny asked with what seemed to be a flirtatious smile.  Honestly, everything about Johnny was flirtatious though.

“No.  Your answer is your reward now do your dang work.”  Peter muttered as started reading over the question so he could help Johnny with it.  Johnny leaned unbelievable close.  “Dude I can feel you breathing on me.”  Peter mumbled as he inched further away to the edge of his chair to scoot away from Johnny.  Johnny followed, Peter glared at him. 

“What I’m just trying to read the question.”  He said with a smirk. 

“You are not.” 

“What am I doing then.” 

“I don’t know but stop it.  If you keep this up I’m going to get Jameson to print unflattering photos of you.”

“They don’t exist.”

“Well, then I’ll take them.”

“You’re welcome to try.”  Peter just groaned and started explaining the question again even though Johnny was uncomfortably close and he was nearly falling off the chair. 

The questions really weren’t that bad.  Reed had designed them for Johnny and he hadn’t written anything that Johnny couldn’t solve,  Peter couldn’t help but feel like Johnny was being purposely obtuse as Peter walked him through a question that was extremely similar to one they had solved two questions ago. 

“I have a chemistry related question.”  Johnny said leaning even closer to Peter, which Peter hadn’t thought was possible.

“Well it’s great that you’re finally interested in your homework but we’re working on physics.”  Peter said as he turned to face Johnny only to find his face directly in front of his own.  Johnny looked at him as if he was looking for something but Peter wasn’t sure what.  “What are you doing?”  Peter asked with a frown.

“Nothing.”  Johnny answered with a sigh.  “Nothing at all.”  He moved away and slouched back in his chair. 

“Come on man you’ve got one more question, then we can do something else.”

“It’s been hours!”  Johnny whined.  Peter glanced at his watch.

“It’s been 45 minutes.  Plus I’ve done like half your work.”  It had been fun for the first five minutes when it had actually been about homework.  The last 40 minutes had been Peter trying to focus on the questions while Johnny literally breathed down his neck.  Apparently, he had to read the questions himself to understand them because he was a visual learner.

“I need the motivation to get through this Pete.  Give me something to work with.”

“I can get MJ to start a rumour that your dating a Victoria Secret Angel.”

“Nah I’ve already actually dated three of them.”

“Well, what do you want then?  And don’t say a car.  I can’t even pay my phone bill.  It’s one question, Johnny. You can do it.”

“Nooooo.”  He said dramatically as he sunk further into his chair.  Peter sighed, he was dealing with a child.  How could someone possibly hate science this much?  Science was awesome.  Peter grabbed one of the sandwiches Sue had left them.  She had specifically said they were for Peter but Johnny had eaten three-quarters of them while Peter was too busy talking trying to teach Johnny about Physics to eat. Peter looked at his watch again, Spider-Man was officially ten minutes late for breaking into the Baxter building.  On the bright side, at least he knew which floor the Four lived on now. 

“Okay well, I have to head home so you’re gonna have to figure out this last one yourself.”  Peter said standing up and slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.  “It’s really similar to question 9.  If you get confused just look through that one and then it’s a cake-walk. “

“But I didn’t even give you a tour of the building yet.”  Johnny whined. 

“Oh my goodness.”  Peter sighed.  “Why am I even making these deals with you?  Okay if you finish your homework this week and this question then I’ll come over next weekend and then you can give me the tour-de-Baxter a la Johnny.”  Peter said.

“Sounds dirty.”  Johnny wagged his eyebrows.  “Answers 24 mph.”  Johnny said with a grin.  “See you next weekend Peter!”

“GOD DAMN IT STORM!”  Peter yelled as he headed for the elevator.  He pressed the button numerous times while nothing happened.  “How does this elevator work!  It’s really ruining my angry exit and yes I am angry!  I could have been doing important things!”  Johnny rolled his eyes and walked over to where Peter was.  He stood purposely close and pressed the button himself as the doors immediately opened.

“You had nothing important to do.  Bye Peter!”  He called with a smile.

“I hate you.”

“See you next weekend.”

“Expect bad photos in the Bugle.”

“You’d have to be in them for them to be bad.”  He said with a smile as the elevator doors closed while Peter let out a scream of frustration.

Sneaking back into the Baxter building was unsurprisingly much harder than getting out of it as a normal person.  He managed though, thanks to the fact he’d upgraded his suit after a few battles with electro left him less than fond of being electrocuted.  Something told him Mr Fantastic was half expecting him to sneak in and had lowered the defenses for him but until that was confirmed Peter was going to congratulate himself for a break-in well done. 

“Sorry I’m late.”   He said to an empty room as he climbed through the window into the living room.  “And no one's here.  Unless the Invisible Girl is here.”  Peter tried to pay extra attention to his spider-sense.  “Nope, no one's here.  Great…should have said yes to that tour earlier.”  He sighed as he walked around.  Peter walked over to the table where Johnny’s homework was still laying out.  “He didn’t even show his work.”  He muttered as he looked at the answered last question.  Peter heard footsteps and looked up to see Johnny walking in eating one of the leftover sandwiches.

“Spidey!  Dude, you could have just asked security to let you in.  I haven’t seen Reed all afternoon, you want me to bug him?  Get it bug him, cause you’re a bug-man.”  Peter rolled his eyes and ignored Johnny’s bad joke.

“Nah I’m late anyways, whenever he’s free is good.”  Peter said staying surveying the room.  Johnny shrugged as he took another bite.

“You don’t know where the lab is right?  I’ll walk you there.  It’s on a different floor.”  Johnny directed them both towards the elevator and chatted during the entire trip.  “Pete was here today, too bad you missed him, your bros right.” 

“Ugh yeah…me and Peter Parker go way back.”  Peter said somewhat awkwardly. 

“Did you know he’s like super smart?  Does he help you with your suit and stuff?”  Johnny asked. Technically Peter did all of Spider-Man’s suit and tech.

“Umm…occasionally?  I try not to get too close to anyone, it puts them in danger.”  Peter said plainly. 

“And him being your main media guy is distance?”

“Do you read photo creds?”  He asked turning to Johnny who shook his head.  “Exactly.  He might cover most of the news but the focus is always on JJJ’s newest Spider-Menace story.  Peter’s fine.”  The elevator dinged and they stepped out as Johnny started leading them towards Reed’s lab.

“He is fine.”  Johnny sighed.  “Hey since you guys are tight do you have any tips?”

“For what?  Getting more action photos and fewer magazine covers?”

“No to get him to go out with me.”  Peter choked in shock and had to stop walking as he coughed. “Dude you okay?”

“Yep.  Yep.  Totally fine.  Great, just me having a totally normal time.”  Johnny gave him a weird look.

“Anyways, so I’ve been trying for like two weeks and like everything flies over his head.”  Well, this certainly hadn’t flown over his head.  Peter walked beside Johnny as he continued coughing slightly.  “Seriously man are you okay?”

“Yep.”  He said shortly.

“Okay, just die somewhere else.  Sue will have Reed bring you back to life just to kill you again if you make her do the paperwork for that.”  Peter just nodded.  “Anyways so at first I was like let's just be bro’s you know?  But I just want to kiss him like all the time-“

“Hi, Mr Fantastic.”  Peter said not willing to listen to Johnny talk about this anymore.

“That’s cold man.”  Johnny said as he leaned against a machine in Reed’s lab that was probably not meant to be leaned against.  “I thought we were moving forward in this friendship.  I was baring my soul to you.”  Johnny said in mock hurt.

“So I understand you’ve got a problem?”  Reed said as he finished typing up some research results and walked towards them. 

“Yes.  I’m in love.”  Johnny interrupted.  Peter sighed.  Reed raised his eyebrows but didn’t look surprised. 

“The problem isn’t that it’s with Spider-Man, is it?”  Reed asked looking at both of them.

“Sort of.  I’m in love with Peter who for some reason seems to be in love with Spider-Man.”  Johnny said glaring at Spider-Man.

“No there’s a serious united forces of evil problem that has something to do with bugs.”  Peter responded answering Johnny’s glare from underneath his mask. “Also when has Peter ever said he’s in love with me?”  Peter asked unable to leave it alone.  Johnny might be a whole new level of narcissistic but Peter certainly wasn’t. 

“Fine, Peter’s maybe not in love with you.  Are you in love with him?  Is that why you won’t tell me how to get him to date me.” 

“Sue said you seemed to be doing fine earlier.”  Reed said joining the conversation in his fatherly tone.

“Sue was watching?  Kinky.”  Johnny said with a smirk as Reed shook his head.  Peter was once again glad for his full face mask as he broke out in a blush. 

“Can we please just focus on the guy made out of bees?” 

“Actually never mind, I don’t want dating advice from the guy who deals with people made out of bees as if it’s a normal occurrence.  If Peter asks though I’m going to say I saw your face and it was hella ugly.”

“We’ve been over this Torchy.  I’m a sacred temple, radiant like the sun.  Now can we please focus so I can get home before my curfew.”

“You have a curfew?”  Reed asked with genuine interest.

“No you can’t know what time it is.”  Peter snapped back quickly.  Focusing on this problem with Doctor Doom was the only way he was going to get through this. 

“It’s fine Spider-Man.  I might not trust you completely but I can respect your decision to keep your identity a secret.”  Reed said patiently.  “Not everyone has the privileges our family has.  Also, I’ve seen the outstanding fines the city has against you and I also wouldn’t want to pay them.  Although we are responsible for damage that occurs during battles do try to keep that in mind.”

“Sure thing Captain America.”  Peter muttered.  Reed glared at him a little bit for that but motioned for Peter to explain the bee situation.

“Okay so dude, WWII TBT, named von Meyer is made out of bees.  Doom contacts bee dude and says something along the lines of hey man you know what’s interesting?  If humans went extinct insects would rule the world, that might be hella cool.  Doesn’t make much sense to me that Doom is promoting this, Doom’s human…I think.  I mean personally I think he’s more like the spirit of an angry chipmunk in a suit of armour but it’s not important.  At the same time Osborn contacts von Meyer and is like hey we’ll fund your weird moth project.  No news on why moths or what the exact goals or projected profits from the moth project were, there’s a lot of options.  For instance Moth Land, an amusement park where you ride giant moths and they feast on the flesh of your enemies, take the kids for some wholesome family fun.   Anyways dude got killed by chick who can control bugs, possibly a mutant?  Chick who controls bugs now controls project moth.  The jury is still out about how Doom and Osborn feel about new chick so, yeah that’s what I got.” 

“Okay…”  Reed said taking all the information in. “That was a bit jumbled but what I’m getting is that Vincent-“

“Wait, Vincent?  Dude’s full name is Vincent von Doom, that sounds like what a fancy three-year-old names themselves.  Never mind carry on.”

“-contacted Fritz von Meyer who was also contacted by Norman Osborn.  Norman Osborn provided funds for von Meyer’s project which was stolen by the women who killed him operating under the alias Swarm.  You’re concerned because Vincent and Norman Osborn seem to be motivating players in this plot but so far have not revealed reasons for their action.  I miss anything?”

“Dude that makes so much more sense than what he said.”  Johnny said.

“How dare you.”  Peter said to Johnny.  “Well you completely disregarded my moth amusement park theory but that’s cool.  Basically, my question is do you know if Doom’s been doing anything weird lately.” 

“Well Vincent has been in contact with a lot of other criminals lately.  Which is not unusual for him but some of them are fairly big league, which means talking to them is a risk.  He can’t control them as easily and they’re a tad more unpredictable.  I’m not sure exactly what he has planned but I’d guess, and this is really just a guess, that with SHEILD being more publicly active, the X-men being decently united and the Avengers that he’s feeling a bit squeezed and is looking to form his own alliances.”

“So basically it’s group project time for bad guys?”

“Basically.  Did you see any of the moth research.”

“Yeah but I got it from the lab after Swarm so I can’t tell how much of it is planted and I really don’t know how independent she is.” 

“Do you want me to take a look at it.”  Reed asked.  Peter hesitated.  He did want to get to the bottom of this but he also didn’t quite trust the Four to share the information back with him.  “You don’t have to.”

“No I will.  I need sleep and I really don’t know what’s up with these things for sure.”  Peter handed over a flash drive he had loaded the information onto. 

“Do you mind if I have Sue look at it too?  I’m good with the actual research that’s on here but if you want to figure out what they’re planning you’re better off with Sue.” 

“You’ll tell me if you find anything?”  He asked, not quite ready to believe any answer he got back.

“I don’t have any reason not to yet.”  Reed shrugged. Peter nodded and glanced around not sure what to do next.  "Do you want a tour of the lab?"  Reed asked with a knowing smile.  "I mean you're welcome to crawl out the window if you want but you can always have a tour and leave out the front door too.  As long as that's not too dramatic for you."  

"I'm strictly a window guy, thanks.  I'll take you up on the tour though, what does this do?"  Peter asked picking up something random that was in front of him.

"That's a mp3 Player Johnny had me design that wouldn't melt when he was on fire."  

"Does it have speaker capacity?"  Peter asked.

"Of course."  Reed answered.

"You should destroy it."  Peter said looking directly at Reed.  "I'm pretty sure this will become a weapon of mass annoyance."  Peter's Spider-sense tingled as Johnny hit him lightly on the back of his head.

Chapter Text

“Hey MJ where do photo creds show up in the Bugle?”  MJ looked up from the other side of the desk they shared at the Daily Bugle office hidden in a corner somewhere with one laptop between them.

“How do you not know that?  Well usually they print underneath but I think because you’re an intern you might have signed something slightly different that just credits it through the Bugle."  MJ said with a shrug.  

“Oh.  Good.”  Peter said as he went back onto his phone to try and figure out what story feature he should add to the Bugle’s official #SpiderMenace feed.  Some photos of Spider-Man with his foot stuck through a door ought to do it.  He had one where it looked like a squirrel was giving him a wedgie but he wasn't quite that strapped for cash yet.  What happened to all the photos of him looking cool that he used to be able to get printed?  Peter had to find a way to convince Jameson that Spider-Man could sell just as many papers as Spider-Menace.  That was the only real way he could get the narrative to change.

“Good?  You don’t want photo credits?”  MJ asked with a frown.

“Of course I do.  I was just thinking…maybe it’s not ideal to be known as the only photographer who seems to be able to consistently get clear and reliable photos of Spider-Man.  I mean it’s not as bad as when I started and he only came out at night but I don’t want people to think I know where he is all the time.  What if they start looking for Aunt May or something?” 

“Hmm…well I’m sure Jameson would be up for it.” 

“Really?”  Peter asked with surprise.

“Oh yeah, he’d be fine with hiding your name.  There’s no way he wants another news source to be able to scoop those photos.  He’s a pretty classy journalist in that way too, he doesn’t give up sources without their permission, not even to coworkers.”  That was kind of impressive, Peter thought.  In a lot of ways, Jameson was one third news tycoon, one-third actor, and one-third journalist.  It was just always a little surprising when the classic journalist part appeared over the other two.  “That reminds me, Pete-“

“Yeah?”  Peter asked without looking up.

“You do know you’re getting underpaid for those photo’s, right?”  Peter looked up in confusion at MJ.  “Seriously, how are you so smart and so dumb at the same time?  Okay, well these photos are selling.  They’re bringing a lot of attention our way.  There’s a reason Jameson keeps running the Spider-Menace stories, they sell.  Your photos are a big part of this, I’m not saying leave the Bugle.  I honestly don’t think anyone will protect you in a way that Jameson would but if you approach it the right way you can get more.”

“So you mean I should let you approach Jameson so I can get more and you can get a cut.” Peter said while taking a sip of his water.

“Well no.  I legit meant you should do it but I realise how stupid that suggestion was now, you’re clearly terrible at stuff like this.”

“Hey, I’m great at business stuff.”  Peter lied.  Spider-Man had no endorsement deals.  He didn’t even get a cut out of all the coverage he sold for the Bugle. The Avengers and the Fantastic Four had merchandise, were there no kids out there that wanted Spider-Man posters?  Maybe he and Jameson could open a Spider-Man dartboard business together.

“Why are you doing this to me?  I feel bad about taking a cut.  You and Aunt May really need that money.” 

“Well, you need money too.  Plus, MJ you could get me more than I could get myself.”  MJ was quiet for a moment as she clicked her pen.

“Fine, I’ll do it.  Do you think I should get Spider-Man a cut too?”  MJ asked genuinely.

“Nah.”  Peter said with a bit of a smile.  “We better not push it.”  MJ gave Peter a weird look but shrugged and went back to reading through the article that she was planning on proposing to Jameson. 

“You should get some other photos though.  It would be suspicious if Jameson had an intern who sat around doing nothing.  You’ll need a cover, oh it’s like you have a secret identity that’s exciting.” 

“Yeah, I’ve never had anything like that before.”  Peter said trying to sound normal.  MJ was thankfully already in her own world planning how they were going to pull this off and didn’t notice.  “I guess I could follow Harry around for a while for the social pages.”

“Or, you know, you could follow Johnny around.  At least 10% of readers think you’re dating still anyways according to polls on the school website.” 

“Aren’t those supposed to be about what kind of vending machines we should get next?”  Peter groaned.  MJ shrugged.

“Just be glad it’s not about who the biggest nerd at Midtown High is anymore.” 

“I’ll have you know I lost that poll.”

“Pete, you got second.”  MJ said looking at him.  Peter shrugged.

“They just don’t know how cool I am.”

“Which is not at all.”  Peter glared at MJ as she smiled and went back to work. 

____________________________________

Peter sighed as he hung around the back of the banquet hall.  He hated these things, there were so many other paparazzi too.  He’d thought it had been weird when Jameson had personally selected him to cover this event.  At least he didn’t get the celebration that was taking place at the Latverian Embassy this weekend, that would have been awkward.  So far he didn’t think anyone had spotted him.  He was being extra inconspicuous today, which meant he was wearing one of his nicest jackets and a scarf.  He almost blended in with the other trendy photographers who definitely all made more money than him, or at least got to keep most of the money they made. 

Peter snuck over to the buffet table.  He wasn’t technically supposed to eat on the job, but he was really hungry.  Peter stared at it debating if he should take anything.  Chances were that no one would notice, but him having the luck he did there was also an equal chance that he would touch it and the beautiful delicate display the kitchen had spent hours preparing would fall apart.  Either that or everyone's attention would shift to the table just as he was stuffing something in his mouth.  Peter sighed and pretended to take photos of it with his camera.  That was sort of a good cover for spending so much time staring at the table, he thought.  Peter looked out towards the crowd and started taking photos of the notable people who had attended the event.  Ideally, he wanted to avoid talking to Johnny today, if he was even here. 

He should have listened more when MJ told him what the event was for.  Tony Stark and Norman Osborn were here, it must be some sort of tech thing.  If Norman was here maybe Harry was somewhere.  Maybe Johnny wasn’t here at all then.  Peter wasn’t sure if the Bugle knew he was friends with Harry though, he did know that the 3/7 Copy Editors were still convinced he and Johnny were dating.

“Pete?”  Harry asked with a frown.  “Holy crap I haven’t seen you dress this nice my dad invited you and Aunt May over for Thanksgiving that first time.”

“But let me guess it’s still terrible?”  Peter asked with a grin.

“Yeah but I mean, wow you almost look like you might be a legit photographer.  Honestly, I wouldn’t think you’re some kid that was looking to blackmail me.”

“Wow Harry.  I’m flattered that you ever thought I looked tough enough to blackmail people.”

“So what’s the occasion?”  Harry asked looking around to make sure his dad didn't catch him goofing off too much.

“I just didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.  Ideally, I wanted to be able to blend into the wall, you know?”  Harry nodded but didn’t look like he fully understood. 

“So you’re working right now?  Need me to get you closer to anyone?”

“Nah it’s cool, it would probably make for awkward photos plus I’d feel a bit weird taking photos of your dad.”

“So you’re going to take them from a distance like a creeper?  He’ll still notice you know.” 

“Ugh don’t remind me.  I just want to get paid Harry.  Honestly, if I can’t get any photos or anything can you pants yourself or something.”

“Umm, no?  Seriously though if you’re going to be going to these things do you want any of my old clothes?”  Peter frowned.  He wasn’t totally comfortable with that.  He didn’t like taking things from Harry, or anyone really.  “Pete, honestly they’re just going in the donation bin otherwise.  You’re not taking advantage of me.  Plus you already won’t let me pay you for all the times you tutor me.”

“You buy me food like all the time Harry.”  Peter argued back.

“I invite you over and there is food there.  It’s a normal thing Pete.”

“Won’t your dad get mad?”

“I have literally heard him mutter “such poor taste” whenever he sees you leave a room.”

“Are you sure he’s not talking about my social status or your friend choices?”

“You’re the only reason I have a B+ average, he is definitely not talking about my friend choices.  Hey, dad.”  Harry said as he noticed Norman walking over.

“Harry.”  He said in greetings.  “Peter always nice to see you, are you working?” 

“Trying to.”  Peter said with an easy smile. 

“Maybe Harry should stop bothering you then and go back to his job.”  He said with a pointed look at Harry.  Harry rolled his eyes as soon as his dad was distracted by trying to figure out whoever Tony Stark was talking to. 

“Sure, sure.  Need a photo first?  Come on Pete take me up on it, I’ll even get Norman Osborn to smile by quoting the new Oscorp research report you read to me.”  Peter rolled is eyes and looked at Norman for permission who shrugged. 

“I’m sure I owe you more than a simple photo for keeping Harry from failing.”  Norman and Harry stood together and smiled while Peter took a photo.  They quickly broke apart and Norman went his own way.

“Hey Pete.”  Harry started uncertainly.  “Do you think you could send me that photo.”  Harry didn’t look Peter in the eye and kicked the ground a little bit.  Peter smiled at his friend.

“Of course Harry.  No problem.  If you don’t want it printed just tell me okay?”  Harry looked up and smiled at Peter.

“Come by later, I’ll hook you up.”  Harry said as he waved and went to mingle with the crowd.  Peter heard a whistle beside him, he sighed.

“Hi, Johnny.”  Peter said running his hand over his face.  At least he’d started taking photos when guests arrived.  Hopefully, he wouldn’t be in the event photos, he wasn’t supposed to be in the event photos. 

“So Harry Osborn?”  He said looking towards where Harry had left.  Peter saw Harry shoot a questioning glance Peter’s way but Peter just shrugged in response and Harry continued with his designated schmoozing duties. 

“Yeah he’s an old friend, we go to school together.” 

“Harry Osborn goes to Midtown High?”

“Yeah, Norman’s pretty big on…real life experiences is I guess the best way to put it.”  Peter said with a frown.  Saying Norman had an obsession with giving Harry a clear idea of how much better his social status was then other peoples wouldn't really have defended his friend very much.

“Hmm…”  Johnny said looking at Harry and Norman with clear suspicion and some disdain.  Harry seemed to return the look a little bit.  Peter wasn't going to ask Harry or Johnny about that later, the last thing he needed to be involved with was rich boy rivalry drama.

“I know Oscorp has a reputation-“  Peter started, feeling he needed to defend his friend.

“That’s one word for it.”

“Harry’s my best friend.”  Peter finished.  Johnny was quiet after that.  He looked out towards the crowd of the people standing there as Peter focused in on people in the crowd to take photos.  He should probably mingle a little soon for better photos.  “So what are you doing here?” 

“Reed was invited and Sue couldn’t make it so he dragged me along.  I don’t know if you know this about Mr Fantastic but he’s a pretty bad schmoozer.”

“And you’re the king of schmooze?”

“Of course I am!  Frankly, I’m the best at it.  I just give them the old Johnny Storm charm.  Guaranteed to work on all gender spectrums and all ages.  May experience some trouble with alien cultures, I accidentally proposed to a married 340-year-old a few months ago.”

“I really want to know but I also really really don’t.  What are you doing here then?  Abandoning Dr Richards to the lions?”

“He can survive them for a little while.  Plus I saw you.” Peter tried desperately to shut off the last meeting of Spider-Man and the Human Torch that was running through his head like a movie scene.  Johnny Storm, who he had just become friends with, was apparently interested in him.  It had to be some sort of mistake.  Maybe it was an infatuation.  Johnny was pretty flirty, maybe he just fell in love with everyone.  That didn’t exactly sound like Johnny to Peter though.  He might flirt and act like a playboy but Peter knew by now that Johnny was more than that.   He was nice, in a way that a lot of things in Peter’s life were not.  And Peter Parker did not get nice things, so that meant Peter wouldn’t get Johnny.  At least, not for long if at all.  Peter shook himself out of his thoughts.

“And here I thought my disguise was so good.  Look I even have a scarf on.”  Peter said as he picked up one end of the scarf and flapped it in Johnny’s face.

“I kind of noticed when I couldn’t see your neck.” Johnny said with a little bit of a lear.  

“Good that means the scarf is working.”  Peter said a little flustered.  “Anyways, Harry’s giving me some of his old clothes so my professional photographer disguise should be even better next time.”

“Did you need clothes?  I have old clothes.” 

“Good for you?”  Peter trying to be a little obtuse on purpose. 

“I mean if you need some I have some.” 

“Nah.  I’m already uncomfortable taking Harry’s, he managed to get an okay because of how much free tutoring I give him.”  Peter glanced over at Johnny who looked a little unhappy.  “Besides, Harry’s more likely to have everyday kind of clothes?  You know since he goes to public school and stuff.”

“My clothes are everyday clothes…”  Johnny muttered.  “I wear them every day.”  Johnny paused when Peter didn’t say anything back.  “What are you doing here, anyways?”

“I’m working.  I need to keep it a bit quieter that I take so many Spider-Man photos when no one else seems to get them so I need a cover to explain who I am if people look into Bugle staff."  Peter said training his camera on a few people in the crowd and taking photos.  He'd kept an eye on the other photographers to see if they would try to sneak photos of him talking to anyone but so far he was safe.  His spider-sense hadn't alerted him to anything, it probably helped that people like Tony Stark were here.

“And you don’t want photos of me?”  Johnny asked with a smirk.  "I make a great pin-up if you need that kind of photo."

“Johnny anything involving you is the opposite of low profile.”  Peter muttered sounding a little exhausted.  Johnny fell quiet again and looked away.  Peter sighed, he couldn’t help but feel like Johnny’s bad mood was his fault.  “If I take photos of you will you cheer up?  MJ has me take most of her Instagram photos so I’m actually not bad at socialite glam shots.  Mostly just for personal survival reasons really, MJ likes tagging #nofilter.”

“Nah…I should go do the job I told Reed I would do so he doesn’t have to stretch his neck to keep it above water.  See you this coming weekend though, yeah?” 

“Yeah of course.”  Peter muttered as Johnny waved and walked away.  He felt a bit like a crappy person for presumably hurting Johnny's feelings.  Honestly, though, he just wanted some quality low profile alone time.  Spider-Man always got it when he swung through New York on patrol but Peter Parker was mostly just really exhausted.  He just wanted to take the photos he needed and go home.  Peter felt his spider sense tingle as he felt someone walk behind him.

“Oh.”  He heard a woman’s voice say.  “Well, this is interesting.”  Peter turned around as calmly as he could purely for the purpose of appearances.  That was a voice he recognised.  “You manage to solve any of the problems I left for you.”

“What are you-“

“It’s a bug thing.”  The woman, Swarm, looked significantly more normal than last time he had seen her.  “So what should I call you?”

“What should I call you?”  Peter asked back feeling a little confused and terrified.

“It changes honestly.”

“What about right now when you look like this.”  Peter asked.  She smiled sadly.

“I don’t have a name like this anymore.  Not one that matters.  Yours seems to matter.”  Peter tensed.  “Don’t worry I don’t go after families.  If one of your loved ones dies it’s because I’m trying to destroy the entire cesspool of a city.”

“Well, that’s…comforting.”  Peter said not quite sure how to respond to her. “Why are you talking to me.  I mean there's always networking but I'm not exactly in your networking pool.  Like if you guys are in the deep end of the pool I'm in the hot tub you know what I'm saying?”  She gave him a strange look that clearly said she was going to ignore everything he had just said. 

“I was interested.  Also, I don’t trust Doom, I think he’s talking to Red Skull.” 

“I take it you don’t like Red Skull?  I mean he’s a Nazi and a terrible person so I don’t really blame you for that one.  It’s just-“

“He is the one thing you can always count on me to be against.”  Peter and the woman paused for a moment as neither spoke.  Peter looked out towards the crowd.

“Isn’t it a bit risky for you to be here, you know there’s like two members of the Four here and like three Avengers?”  Peter looked at her as she turned his way with a smile.

“I like you so I’ll tell you a secret.  You should get out of here.”  Peter stared at her as she leaned in closer and kissed him on the cheek.  “Never forget bug-man, I am a terrorist.”

“Swarm?”  Peter asked questioningly.  She waved as she walked away.  “Oh boy.  Not ideal.”  Peter muttered.  He immediately looked out into the crowd.  He had to get Harry out of here.  He also had to get himself out of here so he could face whatever was coming as Spider-Man, and he needed to tell Johnny or Mr Fantastic.  Peter didn’t think telling Reed would go over well, he didn’t actually know Mr Fantastic.  He would probably seem like a crazed fan who broke into the benefit under the ruse of being a photographer.  Peter sighed as he found Johnny in the crowd.  Why did this have to happen while Johnny was talking to Tony Stark?  That wasn’t going to be an easy brush off. 

“Okay Parker you can do this, you either just rant like a crazy person in front of Tony Stark - not ideal,  or you somehow convince Johnny to leave his super important schmoozing with Tony Stark.  I wonder if there’s any version of this plan where I get a new phone.”  Peter muttered while he made his way towards Johnny and thought about the flip phone in his pocket. Peter felt himself get elbowed numerous times as guests shot him glares for bumping them and then returned to their activities.

“Pete?” Johnny said noticing him as Peter dodged the arm of a man who was being very animated in his story telling.

“This is worse than the mosh pit at school dances.”  Peter muttered.  Johnny just frowned.  “Right not why I’m here umm…”  Peter took a breath and glanced at Tony Stark who was giving him a look of curiosity, not necessarily the good kind though.  Peter thought it looked more like the look you give a bird that fly’s in your apartment when you leave your window open.  “So apparently I somehow befriended a terrorist.”  Johnny and Tony both gave Peter a bewildered look.  “Right not a good starting point for the story.”  Peter’s spider sense picked up on something in the distance.  Realisation dawned on Peter’s face as the puzzle came together.  “Okay, Johnny you know that thing that Spider-Man gave Dr Richards from Von Meyer’s lab?”

“No?”  Johnny said slowly sounding genuinely confused.  Peter wanted to club him and his selective memory in the head.  He wouldn't though, that would probably just make Johnny's memory worse.

“Johnny you were standing right there, you remember this.” Peter said in a somewhat pleading voice as if he could will Johnny into remembering what had happened just three days ago.  What Johnny remembered most was probably talking to Spider-Man about being in love with Peter, but Peter wasn't about to bring that up.

“Well I wasn’t paying attention, it was boring. Why can’t it ever be mutant cars?  I would listen to a rant about that.” 

“I’m going to murder you."  Peter said in frustration.  "It’s going to take a while but I swear I’m going to find a way to burn you to death.”

“What?”  Peter ignored him as he felt the swarm of bugs getting closer.  He sighed as he realised he was just going to have to risk sounding like a complete crazy person. 

“A giant swarm of mutant moths and wasps is headed to this building and they’ve all been laced with different deadly somewhat contagious viruses.”  Peter said flatly giving up on any pretence on explaining the situation or why he knew about it. 

“Well, that’s one approach to biological weapons.  Pretty risky.”  He heard Tony Stark say.

“Not if you have someone who can literally control bugs.”  Peter said with a sigh.  The buzzing grew almost audible to normal ears as the bugs neared. At least knowing Swarm the bugs were probably targeting the event and wouldn't bother too much with anyone on the street.

"Do you trust him."  Peter heard Tony Stark ask Johnny.  

"Of course I do."  Johnny answered.  “We’re talking about this later.”  Johnny said with a pointed look at Peter as he got ready to flame on.  Peter sighed knowing that there probably wasn’t a way to get out of this one.  At least Johnny was probably one of the best defences against an army of bugs other than bug spray.  Not to mention that he couldn’t get bit by any of them while he was covered in flames.  “You should get out of here.”  Johnny said looking at him. 

“I will but not because you told me to.”  Peter said slipping away quickly to become Spider-Man. 

_____________________

Peter groaned as he curled up in a cocoon of blankets.  At least they’d gotten the banquet mostly evacuated yesterday, only 4 civilians had been bitten and they were being tested to see if they’d been infected with anything.  They were lucky Swarm had acted before Von Meyer finished his work and that she loved bugs too much to experiment on them.  So far the virus' they carried didn't seem to transfer properly just through a bite.  They'd gotten lucky, so lucky.  

Johnny hadn’t been bitten of course, neither had Iron Man.  Mr Fantastic hadn’t been bitten either.  The bugs just landed on him and then would fly away.  Peter’s guess was that it had something to do with “Victor.”  Spider-Man hadn’t exactly gotten bitten, not really.  But while the bugs swarmed around Iron Man to no avail and fled from Johnny they all swarmed around Spider-Man making him look like a walking swarm of bugs.  He had never been more glad that he had a full face mask.  None of the bugs had bitten him on purpose, but some of them had started fighting with each other and stung or bit him by accident.  Maybe he was going to die, he hoped it was from something cool.  It better be since he was covered in bug bites. 

He’d really thought his first Avengers team up was going to be cooler, like maybe one of their villains instead of his.  That way it would have been a really cool fight where he could show his potential and not him running back and forth yelling while covered in moths and bees.  Johnny hadn’t even been able to take it seriously as he laughed only helping get the swarm off after he’d fumigated everywhere else in the building.

“Peter?  You here?”  He heard Johnny’s voice through the door as a knock came against it.  Peter groaned from his bed in response.  He didn’t really want to see Johnny right now, he wanted to sleep and possibly never wake up again.  Johnny opened the door anyways and closed it behind him.  “I came to make sure you didn't die.  You never answer you phone.” 

“No minutes.”  Peter groaned as he coughed. 

“I told you to get out of there, how are you covered in bug bites?  Why are there so many pictures of Spider-Man being covered by a swarm of bugs on the Bugles feed?”  Johnny said in frustration.

“Not the weirdest bug bite experience I’ve ever had.”  Peter muttered. 

“I’m getting you a new phone.”

“No.”  Peter whined as he blew his nose.  He hoped he’d just caught the equivalent of a common cold.  He wondered if it mattered if the bugs bit you with intent.

“And we’re going to Reed’s lab to make sure you’re not dying, from anything other than your own stupidity.”

“But I’m fine.”  Peter said as he coughed up blood.  “This is an outlier event and shouldn’t be counted.”  Peter muttered with a hoarse voice. 

“Peter if you stay here you could get Aunt May sick.”  Johnny said crossing his arms.  Peter glared at him from his cocoon. 

“Fine.”  Peter muttered.   

“Great we’ll take my car.”

“I’m not taking the phone.”

“If it makes you feel better Reed named it the Fantasti-phone, which is a terrible name.  Reed should let me name everything.  Come on let’s go figure out if you’re dying.”

“I’m not dying.”

“With that attitude, you might be.  See you later Mrs Parker!”  Johnny called as he headed a still cocooned Peter into the car.  “Don’t vomit in the car.”  Johnny said cheerily as he got into the driver's side. 

“I make no promises.”  Peter wrapped the blanket he’d taken with him closer around himself as Johnny leaned over and turned Peter’s seat-warmer on.  “Huh, I kind of thought you’d put the air conditioning on to be a jerk.”

“Nah maybe when I don’t have to worry about your snot on the seats.”  They drove in silence towards the Baxter building for a while.  “So when did you meet Swarm.”

“It’s complicated.” 

“Well, I didn’t think it wasn’t complicated.” 

“She just really likes bugs.  And bugs kind of love me?”  Johnny glanced over at him with a weird look and then put his attention on the road.  “Basically as long as you’re nice to bugs or something she likes you.” 

“Huh…I wonder if she’d get along with Ant-Man.”

“The mind control ant-device thing might kind of piss her off.”  Peter muttered and then sneezed into his blanket.  “Pym does have a healthy respect for ants though, so you know 50/50?”

“So…you’re not going to stop this whole photographing super-hero battles and sometimes almost dying in the process thing are you?”  Johnny asked not looking at Peter.  That wasn’t exactly what was going on, it was more like he was constantly almost dying as Spider-Man but that didn’t really sound safer. 

“Nope.  I mean in my defence this was supposed to be a regular rich person banquet and not a terrorist attack with biological weapons.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, what?”  Peter said as he sneezed again.

“Okay, I’ll get over it.”  Johnny shrugged while driving.  “I mean I’m not a big fan of someone who can’t really protect themselves from a building falling on them being around buildings that are falling down all the time but it's what you do, you kind of seem to like your job and it pays so I’ll get over it and stop bugging you about it.”

“Oh.”  Peter sneezed again.  “Thanks?” 

“Well, it’s probably only slightly more dangerous than living in New York at all so you know.”  Johnny shrugged as he pulled into the parking under the Baxter building.  “I can get Reed to put you in a giant plastic bubble if you’re dying.”

“If I’m dying just kill me instead.”  Peter said closing his eyes in the comfort of the seat.  His eyes popped open again in shock.   If Reed was taking his blood to check if he had any deadly diseases then wouldn’t that mean he would notice Peter’s readings didn’t exactly look like a normal persons?  He couldn’t exactly walk around possibly contaminated with deadly diseases though.   Maybe he wouldn’t notice? 

__________________________

“He’s not dying Johnny.  It’s just a cold.”  Reed sighed while checking Peter’s symptoms.  He’d made Reed promise they were non-invasive, non-sample taking tests.  Reed had agreed on the grounds that if he found anything suspicious they would do further testing.  Peter punched the air in celebration.

“He could have been dying.”  Peter heard Johnny mumble.

“It doesn’t even seem to be from the bug bites.” Reed said with a frown.  Peter just smiled and held in his internal voice that told him it was probably from when he got thrown in the Hudson a while ago.  “Next time if you’re surrounded by bugs you know to be contaminated with deadly virus’ maybe don’t stick around?”  Peter just nodded.   

“Is the cold pretty contagious?”  Peter asked sniffling. 

“Not any more than normal ones as far as I can see.  Why?”

“I was planning on spreading it through New York.”  Dr Richards stared at Peter in bewilderment.  Peter shook his head.  “I was worried about giving it to my Aunt.  She doesn’t have the best immune system.”

“Hmm well, I wouldn’t recommend spending too much time around her then.  It really shouldn't be too bad a cold for you though.  Just wash your hands and whatever objects around the house you touch regularly and she should be fine too.”

“Ah well, I better go to work then.”  Peter sniffled.  He was already in the city centre, he really didn’t have an excuse to not drop in at the Bugle. 

“You sure you’re feeling up to it?”  Johnny asked Peter.  Peter just smiled and shrugged.

“Well, I don’t want to miss an opportunity to possibly get Jameson sick.  Don’t worry as long as I don’t completely run myself into the ground I’ll still come over this weekend.”

“Ah yes, I’ve always wanted to hang out with the Human-Germ.”

“Humans are the parasites of the Earth.”  Peter said while coughing and blowing his nose into one of the tissues that Dr Richards had quickly supplied him with. 

“Oh right, Johnny said to give you this.”  Dr Richards said as he handed Peter a phone.  Peter looked like he wanted to give it back right away but Reed stopped him.  “It’s an old prototype, there should be plenty of system errors that you’re allowed to try and fix if you want to.  It’s completely wiped, it is on our network but that’s because I don’t trust Johnny to not text something stupid.”

“I don’t like gifts.”  Peter managed to say after a pause.

“There’s an extra sim card slot if you want to keep your own billing but the phone’s not going to charge you for spam texts from Johnny, which is really the main thing.  Just think of it as more security protection for us rather than a gift.” 

“I do not spam text.”  Johnny muttered.  Both Peter and Reed ignored him.

“Honestly I think Ben was about to start paying you a salary for being the new recipient of all of Johnny’s spam texts.  Ben had smashed about 7 of Johnny’s phones just this year so really if anything you’re saving me money.”  Reed said with an easy smile.  Peter pursed his lips.

“Fine.”  Peter muttered.  Johnny punched the air in success.  “But if I find a different solution I’m giving the phone back.”  He said looking pointedly at Johnny who shrugged.   

________________________

He'd made it through the week and through a minor illness.  Crime fighting with a cold was not easy, it was always a little hurtful when criminals flinched away from you because you sneezed.  As if sneezing was more disgusting than the Human-Snail who left a trail of slime behind him.  Peter really wasn't sure what that guy had been trying to get away with but he had been incredibly angry when Spider-Man approached him and then proceeded to voice his disgust after Peter sneezed.  

Peter had even gotten his first paycheck from the Bugle, two weeks of work for $600.00 wasn't terrible.  He would have to wait to see if MJ could get him more otherwise all that money was definitely just going straight to Aunt May.  He could just...borrow some materials for his suit if he needed to.  Spider-Man really needed more friends, his best bets for Spider-Man related tech were Gobby and Ock and they weren't exactly his friends.  

The science lab was quiet as he approached it to find Gwen.  He hadn't seen her in a while and he wasn't quite ready to head to the Baxter building like he'd promised Johnny he would.  

“Pete if you sneeze on my samples I swear I’m never talking to you again.”  Gwen said from her lab table as Peter walked up.  “Why are you hanging out here on Friday anyways?” 

“I don’t have a cold anymore that was like 2 days ago.  I’m super healthy now.”  Peter said sitting down as Gwen raised her eyebrow.  “I won’t breathe on your samples, scouts honour.  Wanna tell me about them?  I feel like I’ve been so busy stalking people for the Bugle I haven’t done any lab stuff in forever.”  Gwen rolled her eyes and started telling Peter about her research project. 

“Oh crap I have to head home.”  Gwen said glancing at the clock after hours of working and talking with Peter.  “This was fun though.”  She said with a smile.  “I feel like we don’t do this as often anymore.”  Peter smiled as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.  His smile grew a little stiffer.

“Want me to take you home?”  Gwen gave him a weird look.

“Who are you avoiding?”  She said squinting her eyes at him in suspicion.  

“No one.”  Peter said avoiding eye contact.

“You’re the worst liar.  Pete, you’re one of my best friends and I love hanging out with you but please don’t use me to run away from your super powered boyfriend.”  Gwen said with an exasperated sigh.  

“He’s not my boyfriend.”  Peter muttered as Gwen herded him out the door so she could lock up her experiments for the weekend.  She patted him on the cheek and looked directly into his eyes.

“You keep thinking that Pete.” 

Chapter Text

Peter was four hours late, which was late even by Peter Parker standards.  He had dawdled a bit when he hung out with Gwen after school.  It hadn’t helped that he’d run into 2 robberies on the way over, they were relatively simple until the robbers revealed they were armed.  Peter was covered in bruises and really just wanted to go home and sleep but couldn’t think of a way to politely cancel a hang out he was already four hours late for.  Peter sighed as he walked into the Baxter building still feeling uncomfortable even though security waved him through with a friendly smile. 

“Hi Peter!”  Sue greeted as he the elevator opened.  Peter waved back not quite sure how to talk to Sue Storm.  Johnny was easy to talk to, mostly because he didn’t stop talking so even if Peter couldn’t think of anything it wasn’t awkward.  “Johnny’s not back yet, have you had dinner yet?  Ben’s cooking tonight so it’ll be good.  We tried to make Johnny cook but lately he just orders take out, which would be fine but he used Reed’s credit card.  It’s really ridiculous too because he’s actually a really good cook.”   

“Johnny’s not here?”  Peter said bewildered.  Had Johnny got tired of waiting and just left.  Maybe Peter should just go then, he wasn’t too keen on an awkward dinner with the other 3 members of the Fantastic Four.  Plus he knew Johnny had told Reed that he was apparently in love with Peter, and he really didn’t know how any of them were going to react to that.

“He’s been out all day.” 

“Really?  But I’m four hours late.”  Peter said mostly to himself.

“Hmm?” Sue said with a sly grin that told Peter that she had heard exactly what he said.  “Don’t worry, some days Johnny makes fashionably late seem out of style.  You look nice.”

“Thanks, I got a bunch of clothes from my friend Harry.”  Peter blinked in shock.  Sue smiled kindly.  Peter tried to control the mantra of ‘don’t fudge up’ that was running through his head.  “So…”

“So?”

“How’s…”  Peter couldn’t think of anything.  As Spider-Man there were a lot of things he wanted to ask her but he couldn’t figure out what would be normal for Peter Parker to ask.  “…Doctor Doom?”  Peter held in his internal sigh.  He wasn’t good under stress.

“You want to know how Doctor Doom is?”

“Yeah like, how’s he on a Friday night.  I know people can get pretty bummed if they don’t have plans.”  Sue stared at Peter.  “Umm…small talk isn’t one of my greatest strengths.” The elevator dinged, Peter sighed in relief.  Saved by the bell.  Doctor Doom himself could walk through those doors and Peter would still be grateful. 

“Oh man Sue it was the worst.”  Johnny sighed as he walked out of the elevator.  “They told me it would take 15 minutes and it took hours!  Pete!”  Johnny said with a smile as he noticed Peter.  Peter waved back.  “Hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“Nah I just got here.”  Peter shrugged.

“…You’re four hours late.”  Johnny said with a frown.

“You literally just walked through the door, and you live here.”

“True.  Suit fittings are rushed for no man.”  Johnny said with a shrug.  “Plus if someone had actually confirmed that yes they were coming and yes they would arrive at this time then I wouldn’t have double booked myself.”

“A suit fitting takes all day?”  Peter asked genuinely confused.  Maybe it was a fitting for his Fantastic Four Uniform, but wouldn't Reed be doing those?

“Wow.  I will not tell Taylor that you said that.”  Johnny was visibly disappointed but not surprised by Peter's lack of fashion knowledge.

“…Is it a fancy suit?”

“I can’t have this conversation with you.”  Johnny said walking to the kitchen in frustration.  Peter looked at Sue who just smiled and shrugged.  Peter kind of felt like she agreed with Johnny but was being nice to him because he was a guest.  “Do you need me to do anything for dinner Sue?”

“Ask Ben.”

“But every time I help he accuses me of over-cooking things.  My ego can’t deal with these constant digs at my temperature control skills.”

“Your ego is fine now go ask Ben if you can help with anything.”

“Fine, fine.”  Johnny said walking over to where he knew Ben was. Sue sighed while rubbing her forehead.

“He’s going to do it again I can feel it.”  She muttered.

“Do what?”  Peter asked.  Sue smiled and shot a look over to where Johnny was.

“Ben cooks all the food perfectly and then after he’s done Johnny will heat up Ben’s plate just enough to over cook it.  A few days ago Ben threw a plate of mashed potatoes at him in rebellion, I made Johnny clean it up though.  Did Johnny show you where the lab was last time?”  Sue asked glancing back at Johnny and Ben as Johnny smirked and annoyed Ben just out of hearing range for Sue.  Peter could hear most of it but was choosing to ignore it.  He already knew things he wasn’t supposed to know, like where the lab was. 

“Nope.”

“Oh it’s super easy to find.  Just two floor down then straight down the hall.  Here I’ll key in permission for you to go down there so you can grab Reed.”

“Me?”  Peter asked feeling a little panicked.

“As long as you don’t mind.  These two usually need someone to throw a forcefield between them, it’s totally Johnny’s fault.  He’s a good kid though…85% of the time.”  Sue said with a fond smile. 

“Sure I’ll go down.”  Peter shrugged.  His choices seemed to be awkward small talk with Sue, which had vastly improved but was still awkward, or awkward conversation with Dr Richards.  Peter was a little started with how quickly he was granted access to Reed’s lab.  Sure it was just to pick up Reed for dinner but still, if getting superheroes to fall in love with you got you clearance like this he should really look into getting Captain America or Iron Man to fall in love with him.  He could really use some of that Avengers tech and lab access.  Reed was focused in the lab when Peter walked in.

“Hello Peter.  I hope you’re not here because of another deadly virus scare?”  Reed said in a voice that told Peter he expected the answer to be no. 

“Just dinner today.  Maybe next week though?” 

“I hope not.”  Reed said with an eyebrow raised.  “Is dinner actually ready or is Sue just tired of trying to keep Johnny from getting thrown out of a window?”

“Well he can fly so that doesn’t actually sound like it would be too bad.”  Reed laughed and put down his tools.

“Replacing the window might be a bit of a pain though.  Just give me a minute to clean up, this project is really interesting actually I’m making some really good progress on it.”

“Really?”  Peter asked genuinely interested in what Reed was working on.  Reed looked back and smiled at Peter.

“Wanna hear about it?”

_________

“Umm…I found Dr Richards?”  Peter said unhelpfully as Johnny, Sue and Ben arrived at the lab ready to face whatever catastrophe had caused Reed and Peter to get stuck in the lab.  The catastrophe turned out to be non-existent as Reed looked up guiltily at a glaring Sue while he and Peter were hunched over some blueprints for his newest project.

“Okay, lesson learned.  We can’t send Peter to get Reed from the lab.”  Johnny sighed leaning against the wall of the lab.

“It’s been an hour and a half.”  Sue said with a glare at Reed.  “The food would be cold if it wasn’t for Johnny.”

“I am the real hero of this story.”  Johnny said with an easy smile.  It had been a while since he wasn’t the one in trouble with Sue and he was going to savour this moment.

“Right, heading out now.”  Reed said putting his hands up in surrender.  “I just need to-“

“Dinner.”  Sue said sternly.  “Now, or you’ll starve our guest.  He’s already so thin.” 

“Thanks?”  Peter said not quite sure if she meant that in a not good kind of way.  He kind of thought she meant the not good way but he was going to ignore that. 

“Oh I forgot to ask if you have any allergies?  We can order something else in if you do.”  Sue said as she herded them all back into the elevator practically dragging Dr Richards as he stretched his arms to straighten out just a few more things. 

“Nah I’m all good.”

“That’s good Ben made steak and salad.”

“I’m good with just the salad.”  Peter said despite his hunger.  Steak was expensive, he wasn’t completely comfortable taking that kind of food from them.  Whenever he hung out at MJ’s they just ate Kraft Dinner and at Gwen’s, well, dinner at Gwen’s was a while different kind of dinner that usually involved Captain Stacy leaning over and insisting Peter didn’t have enough salt on his food.  The results were often inedible. 

“Oh, are you a vegetarian?”

“Umm…no.”

“Then don’t be silly there’s enough for everyone!”  Sue said with a smile.  It had been a while since Peter had a family dinner that was more than two people.  Him and Aunt May tried, but some days dinner was just quiet.  Dinner at the Baxter Building was anything but.  Reed ranted about his new experiment while Sue listened and Johnny talked over him making Sue scold him about talking with his mouth full.  Ben was somewhat quiet and would glance at Peter ever once in a while.  Peter didn’t think this was the regular Ben, he figured Ben didn’t trust him yet.  Peter probably wouldn’t trust himself if he came for dinner, he did work for the Bugle and honestly the other three didn’t really know that much about him.  They also didn’t seem convinced that Johnny was the best judge of character or always made the best friends. 

“So Peter how’d you meet Johnny?”  Reed asked cheerfully. 

“Umm…”

“We’ve all heard Johnny’s version, we just thought you might want a chance to change it.”  Sue said with a smile that said Johnny’s version might not make him sound like the toughest kid on the block. 

“What’s Johnny’s version?”  Peter said squinting at Johnny with suspicion.

“Oh I love Johnny’s version.”  Johnny said with a smirk.  “It’s always the best way to tell a story.”  Peter heard Ben groan from across the table.

“Buckle in kid.”  He said to Peter.  “Takes him 4 hours to get through at 10 minutes story.” 

“I paint a picture Ben, it’s an important part of storytelling.  So there I was at my cover shoot for Cosmo magazine, which has nothing to do with space - that interview request they sent me totally exaggerated their reader's interest in intergalactic travel.  But whatever I made a promise so I fulfilled it.  So I walk up to the photo shoot and they’re all like JS we love you.”

“JS?”  Peter asked.

“Johnny Storm, I know tres cool right I have a model name.”  Johnny got ready to continue.  Peter glanced over at Sue who was smiling fondly but also kind of looked like she wanted to punch her brother in the face.  “So I’m like great this is a positive work environment and clearly these people have good taste.”

“Cause they work for a fashion magazine?”  Johnny shot Peter a dumbfounded look for that comment.

“No because they love me.  Anyways so as we start work eventually people from other papers come in and stuff, some of them actually wondering about intergalactic travel some just reporting on my daily schedule.  What was the Bugle there for Pete? I don’t remember.”

“Possible profit.  Harry told MJ the shoot was going on and superhero stories sell so that’s where we went.”

“Wow that’s cold.  It wasn’t because of a secret obsession with me or anything?  You’re really putting a damper on my version of the story, because that's what I assumed it was.  Anyways back to me.  So all these other papers are coming in and then Peter comes in with his friend MJ and is instantly star struck so since I'm a benevolent celebrity who has a great relationship with my fans I introduce myself.”  Peter frowned.  He was pretty sure he’d muttered something about being able to get a better photo in a sewer and then congratulated Johnny on being able to read. 

“So you met at a photo shoot?”  Reed intersected.

“Reed, man, dude, you have to let me tell this whole story.  I’m taking you all on a journey.”  Reed put his hands up in surrender with a small smirk as Ben glared at him.  Peter kind of felt they were all just edging Johnny on a little to see when Ben would snap. 

__________

“We get it, it the desert was flaming!”  It turned out Ben snapped around 45 minutes into the story.  Johnny hadn’t even gotten to the moth attack.  They’d gotten to the diner somewhat smoothly and then Johnny had gotten off track describing the flavour profile or the dinner food and the interior design style. 

“So you, Peter and MJ were sitting in the diner?” Sue asked with a smile.

“Yes we were, thank you Sue.  Ben almost made me loose my spot.”

“Oh man, what if you needed to start over?”  Sue said with mock horror as she smirked at Ben.

“The real downside of the crash wasn’t me turning into a giant rock monster it was getting stuck on a team with this hot head.”  Ben muttered.

“Hey!”  Johnny said with mock offence.  “Did I mention what we were eating yet?”

“Oh my goodness.  Please stop.”  Peter muttered deciding he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“But Pete I haven’t even gotten to the part where you got attacked by giant moths.” 

"Wait the kid gets attacked by giant moths and I just listened to Johnny talk about cherries jubilee for 45 minutes?”  Ben said in frustration and anger.

“It is a great dessert.”  Peter said with a straight face. 

“You got attacked by giant moths?  Are you okay?”  Reed asked with genuine concern.

“Oh yeah, they were like super into attacking him.  It was kind weird actually, maybe because he spends so much time with Spider-Man because they were totally after him too.”

“Maybe…”  Reed said a little too slowly while giving Peter an appraising look.  Peter needed to do something to throw Reed Richards, one of the greatest minds on earth off his trail.  What was something un-Spider-Man-like?

“Yeah it was weird, maybe I should notify the police.”  Peter said.  That sounded like something Spider-Man wouldn’t do.  Peter glanced at his watch.  “Oh crap I have to go Aunt May is gonna kill me.”

“Chill man I already told her you were staying over.”  Johnny said while putting another bite of salad into his mouth.

“What?”  Johnny chewed quickly and swallowed so he could respond. 

“Yeah.  Figured it was easier than getting back to your neighbourhood at this time of night.  She sounded happy about it.  Did I mention your Aunt loves me?”

“When did you ask me if I wanted to stay over?”  Peter asked Johnny trying to understand how he had come to this decision. 

“Now?”  Peter sighed and slouched back in his chair.  “Come on man, it’ll be fun.”  Johnny said with a smile.

“Those are totally going to be the last words I hear before I die one day.”  Peter muttered already knowing that he was going to go along with almost anything Johnny planned.  That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to complain about it the whole time though.

“Well Johnny’s on clean up duty.”  Sue said interrupting.

“But I was on help out Ben duty!”

“And how helpful was he Ben?”  Sue asked turning to Ben.

“Ugh, fine.  But it’s Reed’s turn tomorrow.”  Johnny said as he gathered the plates already knowing he hadn't been that helpful.  Peter got up to help but Sue shook her head.

“It’s fine Peter, you’re a guest.”

Johnny talked through doing dishes, Johnny talked through just about everything.  Peter listened as he started to feel a little sleepy.  The Baxter Building was a lot quieter than most places he went to, even Harry’s house set his spider-sense off pretty often but the Baxter Building was quiet and Peter hadn’t slept in a pretty long time. 

“Yo man wake up.  Do you need coffee or something?  Come on you promised me a non-homework orientated hang out.”

“Hmmm…It’s fine Aunt May I’ll still get to school on time.”  Peter muttered as his eyes drifted closed a bit more. 

“Come on man.”  Johnny said patting him on the shoulder.  Peter winced in pain.

“Ow.  Ow ow, ouch.”  Johnny lifted his hand immediately.  “Umm…wrestling accident.”  Peter offered as a reply, suddenly awake again.  “Right so non-homework hang out right?  I know a great documentary about blue whales.”

“Pete, man, no.”  Johnny answered in horror.

“Video games?” 

“Sweet, the new Fantastic Four video came out a few days go.  We should play it.”  Johnny said leading them towards his room.    

__________________

“Ha!  Told you I could beat you in a fight!”  Peter announced from the nest of pillows he had turned into a chair in front of the TV. 

“This does not count!”  Johnny responded as he glared at the screen which declared Iron Man the winner.  “If anything technically Tony beat me and tbh I’m not even sure if Tony would beat me in a fight.”

“You’re such a sore looser.”  Peter laughed.  “Iron Man would totally beat you in a fight.”

“He’s in a giant metal contraption and I’m made out of fire.”  Johnny tried while queueing up the start screen again.

“Yeah but inside that metal armour is Tony Stark and he’s kind of a genius.”

“Nah, I still think I’d win.”

“That’s just because you think you could win anything.”  Peter said rolling his eyes.

“Because I could.  Oh look you can play Spider-Man.  Wanna see how Spider-Man stands up to the awesomeness of the Human Torch?”  Johnny said with a smile.

“What?  I didn’t get any royalties for this.”  Peter coughed as Johnny shot him a look. “I didn’t hear about any royalties for this.  Or that he was in it JJJ could have run that story - new video game allows you to beat up Midtown-Menace.” 

“Don’t be too bummed Spider-Man’s a pretty secretive guy.  I’m sure he doesn’t tell you everything.  Did he tell you how his visit at the Baxter Building went?”  Johnny asked looking a little on edge.  Peter shuffled in his pillows.  He couldn’t very well say he did know how that visit went.

“No, I didn’t hear anything about it.  Did Dr Richards like him?”  Peter lied while genuinely curious about what Dr Richards thought of Spider-Man.

“What you trust Reed’s character judgements more than mine?”  Peter just shrugged as Johnny looked far more relaxed than before Peter had said he hadn’t heard about the meeting.  “I guess so, he did get a tour of the lab and Reed doesn’t do that unless he thinks they’re somewhat okay.  Reed doesn’t really trust him though, so I guess he won’t be seeing any specks in Reed’s lab anytime soon.” 

Well, a little too late for that Peter thought.  Technically Peter had just been let in on 5 different research projects that Reed was working on right now that definitely hadn’t been on Spider-Man’s tour of the lab and had more invitations to come visit. 

“Sue thinks he looks young.”  Johnny said cutting into Peter’s thoughts.  “I don’t know how she’s getting that vibe through a full body suit but I trust her.  She doesn’t really like that but I mean I was young when I started too.  Just because she doesn’t know his circumstances for doing this doesn’t mean he doesn’t have good ones.  Anyways she lectured all of us about being nice to him but remaining cautious.”

“Oh.”  Peter said as Johnny started the next game.  “That’s nice of her…what the?”  Peter said as he tried to get Spider-Man to move a car off of a virtual citizen.  “That’s weird why can’t I move the car?”

“Because it’s a car?  And you chose Spider-Man?” Johnny exclaimed with a raised eyebrow.

“Spider-Man has super strength.”  Peter said with a frown.

“SPIDER-MAN HAS SUPER STRENGTH?  WHAT?”  Johnny yelled back.

“Yeah man.  What part of Spider-Man didn’t compute for everyone?  He has the strength a spider would at human size.  Now that you mention it he is moving a little slow for Spider-Man too…”

“That’s just so unfair.”

“I know he’s super cool, right?”  Peter said with a grin at Johnny’s annoyed face.

“Turning your whole body into a flame is way cooler.”  Johnny muttered.  “Plus I can fly, and I could go to Antarctica naked if I wanted too.”

“Wow, I’m sure Spider-Man’s really jealous of that power.”  Peter said rolling his eyes.  Johnny’s phone buzzed for what felt like the 50^th time that night.  “Do you have to get that?” 

“Nah, we have an alarm for it there’s an emergency that’s just my friends.  They’re probably sending snaps of the party they’re at.”  Johnny said with a shrug. 

“Oh you didn’t want to go.” 

“Would you have gone with me?”  Johnny asked looking at Peter. 

“Well I did promise you got to choose what we did this weekend.”  Peter shrugged.

“Would you have enjoyed going with me.”  Johnny said with a sigh.

“Honestly?  Probably not.”  Peter said looking at the remote.  “We can go though.  If you want to, if it’s not almost over already.”

“Dude it’s 11.”

“Oh so it’s over.”

“Peter Parker you are so incredibly lame it’s almost a superpower.”

“Hey!”  Peter said sitting up straighter.  “I resent that.”  Johnny rolled his eyes.  “So what, are we going.  I can wear this, right?  Because you didn’t tell me I was staying over or that there was a party so this is literally all I have.” 

“Well, it is better than what you usually wear.”

“I’ll be sure to pass your praises to Harry.”  Peter said off-handedly.  Johnny decided to ignore that and stood up to walk towards his closet. 

“I just need a few minutes.  This'll be so-“

“So much fun?”  Peter looking unconvinced from the pile of pillows he was lying on. 

“Exactly!”  Johnny said with a grin.    

A few minutes turned out to be closer to a half an hour.  Peter was really started to worry that Johnny would miss the party entirely.  When he’d mentioned this to Johnny he had just shook his head while smiling at Peter and muttered ‘oh Pete’ in a manner that told Peter there was no way the party was going to be finished by 12.

“Alright.  Ready for your first official sneak out from the Baxter Building?”

“No.”  Peter grumbled as Johnny walked out of his bathroom looking far more ready for fun then Peter did.  Peter looked like he’d just escaped a meeting for the school paper that had gone on unbelievably long. 

“That’s the spirit!  Come on if I can get Reed to have fun at a party I’m sure I can get even you to enjoy this.” 

Sneaking out turned out to be taking the elevator down to the garage.  Johnny had excitedly shown Peter his motorcycle that he insisted they should take.  Peter put on his helmet taking comfort in the fact that he had accelerated healing and could probably leap off of the motorcycle and escape any crash just as well as Johnny could.  He prepared himself for the most terrifying 15 minutes of his life but it turned out Johnny was actually an incredibly good driver. 

“Now what do we say about that?”  Johnny said with a grin after they arrived as he put the helmets away in the motorcycle and locked it up.

“Okay it was a little bit fun.”  Peter said crossing his arms. “It wasn’t Reed’s lab, but it was fun.”  Johnny rolled his eyes and grabbed Peter’s hand to drag him towards the building which was getting progressively louder.  Peter sighed, his enhanced senses were in for a long night.

“You’re gonna love my friends, like half of them are aliens”  Johnny kept talking while dragging Peter to the apartment into the building where the party was going on but Peter didn’t hear most of it.  He wondered for the 17^th time why he was here at a party with Johnny when he could have been at home working on his web fluid formula.  The fluid kept getting jammed and he was starting to get a little tired almost dying because of it. 

Johnny kept Peter close by him knowing that he would feel uncomfortable abandoned in a party full of people he didn’t know.  Johnny cheerily introduced Peter as his friend to his other friends, some of who smiled politely and offered to dance with obvious disdain. 

“Sorry if some of them are rude.”  Johnny said speaking directly into Peter’s ear so he could hear him over the music.  Peter could feel the heat radiating off of Johnny but tried to ignore it.  “They’re pretty used to normal humans being…well, not very nice.”  Peter muttered something but Johnny couldn’t over the music.  “You’re going to have to speak into my ear if you want me to hear.”  Johnny said directly next to Peter’s ear. 

Unfortunately for Peter, Johnny didn’t need to speak directly into his ear for him to hear him clearly and this whole experience was making him very uncomfortable.  Peter just shook his head not quite sure what he would say to Johnny.  “Wanna dance?  If we wait any longer you’re gonna have to dance with my friends.”  Peter glanced back to where Johnny’s friends were, even though he was pretty sure technically everyone here was Johnny’s friend. 

They smiled and waved at him as if he was fresh meat, which he supposed he was but that made him very disinclined to dance with them.  Peter just nodded as Johnny dragged him further into the Party ruining Peter’s original plan of sticking to the very outskirts of the Party and drinking water until Johnny was done having fun. 

“Where did they get all these glow sticks.”  Peter mumbled slightly amazed as people walked around completely covered in glowing paint and waving glow sticks.  Johnny laughed, probably more at Peter’s bewildered expression then whatever Peter had said.  Johnny danced with his friends and every other song would drag Peter to the dance floor to make him enjoy the party.  Which was usually nice but he had started a really interesting conversation with a Trill about space travel that Johnny had dragged him out of as soon as it started.  “Hey!  I was enjoying that conversation.”  Peter said close to Johnny’s ear so he could hear him.  Johnny just smiled back.

“No space talk at parties.”  He said back.

“Johnny we’re in a room full of aliens.  All talk is space talk.”

“No talking at parties?”  Johnny tried with a smile.  Peter shook his head.

Sneaking back into the Baxter Building wasn’t too complicated.  Johnny had a code to get in the building, sure Sue would know he snuck out but Johnny had assured Peter that all he would have to do was make Sue her favourite dessert and maybe cook for a week and she would forgive him.  It was 4:30 am when they arrived back at the Baxter Building, Peter was more exhausted then he could remember but somehow Johnny still seemed full of energy.  It must be the power of never waking up before noon.  Peter collapsed onto the pile of pillows on the floor as soon as they got back into Johnny’s room while Johnny laughed and lay down on the floor next to him smiling.

“What did I say wasn’t that fun?”

“Johnny someone lit the building on fire, and it wasn’t you.”  Peter mumbled into the pillows closing his eyes.

“Does that not happen at the parties you go to?  Honestly, this one was pretty tame, I only saw like 30 people making out.  Besides it was just that one guy that swore his undying love for me and then tried to set the building on fire in my honour.”

“Ugh, my eyes burn.”  Peter groaned thinking back to some of the public displays of affection he’d witnessed tonight to be polite.  Johnny laughed beside him again.

“You did have fun though right?”

“Yeah okay, it was kind of fun.  In an, I never want to do that again kind of way.”

“You’re going to live the rest of your life without having fun?”  Johnny gasped in mock horror.  Peter opened his eyes to glare at Johnny who smiled down at him. 

“We’re going to a museum next time.  Museums are actually fun.”  Peter said with a glare a Johnny who just smiled back in response.  “I feel gross.”  Peter muttered sitting up to lean against Johnny’s bed with him.  “And you said you didn’t have that many friends.”

“They’re not really friends.”  Johnny shrugged. 

“I have friends.”  Peter muttered sleepily.  “There’s Gwen, MJ, and Harry.”

“Who's your best friend.”  Johnny asked.  Peter lulled his head to the side and looked directly into Johnny’s eyes.

“Aunt May.”  Peter smiled.  Johnny smiled and shoved Peter lightly.  “Seriously though, if those people aren’t really your friends they’re missing out.”  Peter mumbled with a yawn as he stretched.

“Really?”   Johnny asked shifting his body more towards Peter.

“Yeah.  I mean who else do they think they’re going to get this quality level of pigheadedness from.  That’s what I look in my friends.”

“Oh you flatterer, do go on.”

“I mean you’re just through the roof, in self-confidence that is.  Plus I guess you are kind of cool, and maybe just a little bit funny.”

“Oh am I hot too?” 

“Only when you’re flamed up.”  Peter mumbled sleepily his eyes drifting opened and closed.  He hadn’t slept properly all week again, he’d been trying to see if he could find Swarm but the answer to that had been no.  Peter felt a warm heat wash over him as Johnny drew closer.  “What’s up?  Trying to prove how hot you are?”  He asked opening his eyes a little bit to find Johnny extremely close to him.

“Always.”  Johnny muttered as he slowly lowered his head and brushed his lips against Peter’s. 

“Umm…”  Peter said suddenly more awake as Johnny pulled back looking a little hesitant.   

“Well that’s not the worst reaction to a kiss I’ve ever had.”  Johnny said ruffling his hair in what seemed to be frustration.

“Uhh…”  Peter said trying to think of what to say.  He couldn’t think of anything except for the fact that Johnny hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Spider-Man he was into Peter Parker.  Unless this was a big elaborate joke?  That didn’t seem like Johnny though and he kind of felt like Johnny would get pretty mad if he asked him if it was a joke.

“It’s cool don’t worry about it.  We’ll just pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Uhh…ummm…ahh.”  Peter wasn’t sure what he wanted.  He was pretty sure they couldn’t actually just pretend that this didn’t happen.

“Are you freaking out?  You’re freaking out, aren’t you?  We have spare rooms, I mean your aunt would probably freak if you went home now but I can take you back as soon as it’s like 7 am or something.”

“Ummm…”

“Peter, can you please say a full sentence instead of just making weird noises?  I’d settle for a single coherent word at this point.”

“Okay.”  Peter said without thinking too much.

“Okay?  Okay what, like you’re going to try a full sentence or you want the spare room or what?  You’re going to have to give me more than that.”  Peter leaned forward and nope he couldn’t do this.  Peter used his momentum from leaning forward to stand up and walk towards the window.

“Okay, wow this view is amazing.  Look at all those tiny lights doing their thing, being lights.”  Peter could hear Johnny sigh and collapse back against the bed.  He chanced a look back, Johnny was slouched against the bed his head stretched up towards the ceiling to lie on the flat of the bed.  The position pulled his muscle taut, Peter was choosing to ignore this.  Johnny very clearly seemed like he wasn’t going to speak again until Peter said something.  Peter couldn’t think of anything except everything he knew about the rivalry between Nicola Tesla and Thomas Edison and Peter didn’t think Johnny wanted to hear about that right now.  Peter chewed on his lip in thought.

“Could you not?”  He heard Johnny ask weakly from across the room.

“What?”  Peter asked looking up at Johnny who was glaring at the ceiling as if it had wronged him.

“Worry your lip.” 

“Sure I’ll try and stay out of trouble for it.  Maybe I’ll even make curfew next week.”  Peter’s spider sense went off but he let the pillow hit him square in the face.  He caught it before it hit the ground, he could use something to fill his hands with so he didn’t start accidentally fiddling with his web shooters.  “Careful you don’t want to break the windows.”

“Reed designed the windows, if they broke because of pillow we’d all be dead.”  Johnny said rolling his eyes.  Peter scrunched the pillow in his hands and started biting his bottom lip again.  He really couldn’t think of what to say next. 

“Your family’s really nice Johnny.  Like really nice.  You’re lucky.” 

“Thanks, I know.  They’re kind of awesome, even Ben.”

“Oh come on Ben’s clearly the best out of all of them.”  Johnny smiled a little at that and finally started looking at Peter instead of trying to hold a staring contest with the ceiling. 

“You look ridiculous.”  Johnny let out a small laugh while still looking incredibly sad and tired.  Peter had been fiddling with the pillow and was kind of holding it as if it was his last defence between him and one of New Yorks supercharged criminals.  “What no annoying quip to shoot back?”

“Your face is ridiculous.”  Peter muttered.

“Ridiculously attractive.  That was weak Parker.”  Peter continued fiddling with the pillow unsure what to do next.  Johnny paused for a moment as he looked at Peter standing across the room.  “What do you want to do Pete?” 

“Umm…”

“I’ll go along with whatever you say.  I’m not gonna get mad.”  Johnny said with a sigh sitting up a little straighter.  “Just don’t say Ben.”  Johnny said with a small smile.  Peter laughed quietly.

“What about you what do you want?”  Peter said trying to avoid answering.

“You can’t ask me that if you’re not ready to answer it.”

“Why not?”

“Because my answer is that I want to take whatever you’ll give me.”  Johnny said looking him in the eyes.  Peter didn't know what to do with that.

“But what do you actually want?”

“Don’t make me say it.”  Johnny said breaking eye contact.  

“But I don’t know what you want!”  Peter had no idea what Johnny wanted, or if he actually liked him.  Johnny stopped looking away and looked directly at Peter again, he didn't look happy.

“Fine!  Do you want to know what I want?  I want our faces to be on the front of all the tabloid papers even though I know you would hate it, partially because I love the attention partially because then everyone would know we were dating.  I want you to come for dinner with Aunt May every single day because I am a damn good cook and your Aunt deserves it, also you don’t eat enough vegetables.  I want to hear you complain about how mercilessly MJ is teasing you about the fact that we’re dating and how Gwen won’t stop laughing at you.  I want to hear you complain about everything, your voice gets really squeaky and it’s hilarious.  I want to rip all the clothes Harry got you off you and burn all of them.  And I want to kiss you whenever I feel like it, and that’s pretty damn often.  I want like 1700 things but if you only want one of them then that’s all I want too.”

“Wow…”  Peter muttered avoiding eye contact with Johnny who was staring at him.  “That’s a lot…I mean what do your Christmas lists look like?  Do you send a book to Santa or something full of things you want?  Is world peace on the list?”  Johnny collapsed back on the bed looking at the ceiling again.

“Did I mention I want to kill you too?” 

“Didn’t know you were into necrophilia Torch.  Is it in the list of 1700 things you want from me?”  Johnny groaned in frustration.  “I mean usually people want like 5 things from me, turn in your homework, let me copy your homework, not to get killed, don’t explode parts of the city - you know normal stuff.”  Peter took a few tentative steps towards Johnny then stopped. 

“What do you want Peter.  Please just tell me what you want.  And if you say world peace I swear I’m going to burn your chemistry project.”

“Hey don’t do that, it’s a group project.  Besides I totally wasn’t going to say that.”

“Sure, and I can’t set my body on fire on demand.”  Peter closed the rest of the distance between him and Johnny and sat down beside him.  Johnny turned towards him frowning. 

“Okie dokie.”  Peter said taking a deep breath.  He moved towards Johnny and laced their hands together. 

“Please tell me I won’t have to tell people we got together by you saying okie dokie.”  Johnny said.

“Fine we won't get together then.  Or you can do something cooler.”

“I’ve been cool this whole time!  Did you not hear my incredibly touching speech which you followed by asking me about what my letters to Santa were like as a child?”

“This is why people are going to say I’m the charming and funny one.”

“Well you are the biggest joke out of both of us.” 

“I thought you said you were going to cancel out how lame I was making this.  Maybe we should get a stand in for you to help out, think Ben would do it?”

“Can we please stop talking about Ben.”  Johnny groaned as he started fiddling with Peter's hand.

“Why?”  Peter asked teasingly.

“I’m trying to make this how we got together story cooler and you are 1000% not helping.”

“Well maybe you should work a little harder and kiss me.”  Peter said without thinking.  His face immediately flushed red.  “I mean…if that’s what you wanna do, I guess I’d be cool with that.”

“Pete?”

“Yeah?  What up buddy?  Bud?  Mah man?”

“Shut up.”

“Rude.”  Johnny leaned in and cautiously pressed his lips to Peter’s before pulling away ever so slightly.

“You’re okay with this?”  He asked double checking.

“Oh yeah, definitely.”  Peter muttered keeping his eyes closed.  Peter felt Johnny’s lips reconnect to his softly.  Johnny sucked on Peter’s bottom lip and pulled him closer so Peter was sitting in Johnny’s lap.  Peter regained his balance quickly and gasped as Johnny nibbled on his bottom lip. 

“We’re totally dating now.”  Johnny mumbled against Peter’s lips.  “No take backs.”  Peter rolled his eyes but his response was stopped by Johnny moving forward again to kiss him as Peter was pulled even closer his legs straddled on either side of Johnny and arms tangled in Johnny’s hair as his whole body leaned against Johnny’s.  Peter was sure he was forgetting something important but whatever it was it could wait.

Chapter Text

Peter woke up on the floor cuddled next to someone.  In his morning daze last night felt more like a blur than a memory.  He’d been so tired but had let Johnny drag him to a party anyways, there had been aliens and glow sticks, there had been so many glow sticks.  He’d managed to have some fun but the noise, strange barrage of smells, and constant flashing lights had driven his heightened senses crazy.  He was pretty sure he’d danced, he sincerely hoped no one caught that on camera.

Peter didn’t want to open his eyes.  He didn’t need to to know who was next to him, but he didn’t quite want it to be real yet.  He remembered sneaking back in with Johnny.  Laughing with Johnny.  Johnny kissing him, then eventually him kissing Johnny.  Peter wanted to hit past him in the face.  Johnny was a far better kisser than MJ, not that Peter was ever going to mention that to her.  He and MJ had been 14, plus he valued his life.

Forcing himself to stop hiding Peter opened his eyes.  Johnny seemed to be stirring from sleep but not quite awake yet, too close to wakefulness for him to sneak out though.  Not that running away would do him much good, he’d just get spam texted by Johnny and lectured by Aunt May for breaking a nice boy’s heart.  Why didn’t Aunt May ever seem to think he was the nice boy?  It was always Peter be nice to MJ, or Peter be nice to Gwen, or Peter cut Harry a break he has a complicated relationship with his father - as if Peter didn’t know that.   Had he said he’d go out with Johnny?  He had, hadn’t he?  Peter officially hated his past self.  What had he been thinking?  In what version of the multi-verse was this not going to blow up in his face?

“Oh god, it’s so early.”  He heard Johnny groan from beside him.  His thought train stopped as Johnny stretched his arms.  Peter glanced at the clock, it was 9:30 am.  Not at all what Peter would consider early.  “Hi.”  Johnny said with a sleepy smile.  “You made out with me.  I’m your favourite superhero now right?  Also fyi I saw Spider-Man’s face a while ago and he was totally uggo.”  Peter forced a smile onto his face.  He knew he’d forgotten something important last night.  “Why do you look like you just ate a lemon?”  Johnny looked around suspiciously.  “Did you see your reflection?  Did it scare you?” 

“Shut up.”  Peter mumbled as a somewhat genuine smile crossed his lips.  Johnny’s grin told Peter that had been his goal all along. 

“Seriously though, I’m your favourite superhero now, right?”  Johnny said earnestly as he stole several pillows so he could prop himself up to look down at Peter who had decided he was going to die on this floor.  Probably from a combination of exhaustion and embarrassment. 

“Nope.”  Peter said with a smile.

“Oh come on!  It’s not still Spider-Man is it?”

“Yep.  It goes Spider-Man, Iron Man, Captain America, Mr Fantastic, Doctor Strange -“

“Wait I’m not even in your top five?”  Johnny interrupted.

“Don’t worry you definitely make the top 25?”

“How come Reed makes the top 5 and I don’t?”

“You’re in the top 5 of my favourite Fantastic Four members?”

“There’s only four of us!  Don’t say I’m last on your favourite Four members list.”

“Okay.”

“Peter!  You’re the worst boyfriend ever.”  Peter froze up at that a little.  He hoped Johnny didn’t notice but he kind of felt like he had.  “Well then, I better prove I deserve to be moved up by making amazing waffles.  Ugh, Sue’s going to be awake already.  I was hoping we could start making them before she got up to smooth things over early.”  Johnny sighed and stood up putting his hand out to help Peter up with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Can I just climb out the window?”

“Dude we’re 31 floors up.”  Johnny said looking at Peter questioningly. 

“So that’s a no?”    

“Any chance you’ve got any other clothes?”  Johnny asked quickly before he got ready to face the wrath of Sue.

“No, remember?  You didn’t tell me you told my Aunt I was staying over.”

“Huh…my bad.”  Peter groaned in frustration as Johnny cheerily opened the door and started walking down the hall towards the kitchen.  Peter sighed and decided to follow.  He didn’t have much of a choice unless he wanted to explain to Johnny why he could escape from a 31^st floor window. 

“Who wants waffles!”  He heard Johnny call out jubilantly from down the hall.  Peter sighed and leaned against the entryway to the kitchen behind him.  By the look Reed gave him he was pretty sure he looked like he’d had the worst night of his life.  All doubt about there being dark circles under his eyes were gone, it could probably only be worse if he had cuts and bruises on his face.

“You better be making waffles.”  Sue muttered not looking up from the tablet she was reading.

“And your favourite cookies later.”  He said offhandedly as he started opening drawers to gather what he needed.  Peter walked in to find a cup and grab some water.  If he was going to have to stay for waffles he might as well be hydrated.

“And dinner tonight?”  Sue said looking up from her reading with a cocked eyebrow.

“And dinner tonight.”  Johnny sighed.  “But only to save us from your cooking.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to cook if you did it more often.”

“But this way Ben get’s to cook more, Ben loves cooking!”  Johnny tried.  Sue just stared at him.  “Fine I’ll cook more often, but only because I am a thoughtful and benevolent brother and we need to save your terrible cooking as our secret weapon for destroying Doctor Doom.  Oh, by the way, this is Peter.”  Peter frowned in confusion but waved from where he leaned against the counter drinking water from a mug.

“Yes we know Johnny.  We’ve all met Peter before.”  Reed said with a quirked smile he glanced at Peter for a possible explanation but Peter just shrugged. 

“Yes but you haven’t all met Peter Parker, my boyfriend.”  Johnny said with a proud smirk.  Peter choked on the water he was drinking in surprise.  He managed to put the mug down as he continued coughing to try to clear his windpipe as his face turned beet red.  He was pretty sure he had just spewed all over the kitchen floor.  Peter continued coughing as he felt a hand thump him on the back.

“Don’t kill him Johnny, you finally got someone to agree to date you.” 

“I resent that, lots of people date me.”  Sue didn’t respond to Johnny.  She didn’t want to hurt him when he seemed happy about going out with Peter by reminding him that most people didn’t want to date Johnny, they wanted to date the Human Torch.  She was 95% sure Peter was different.  Peter let out a few more coughs before he finally took in some deep breaths and composed himself enough to glare at Johnny. 

“I want to break up.”  He muttered in a voice he probably thought Sue and the others couldn’t hear.

“Don’t be like that Pete, it’s been like 4 hours.  I think we can last at least 20 more.”  Johnny said jokingly, Sue thought he didn’t look completely convinced Peter wouldn’t break up with him after a few hours but this was one battle she wasn’t going to be able to help her brother out in, much.

“Do you want anything to drink Peter?  Usually I wouldn’t suggest coffee but…”  Sue said taking in his appearance.

“Coffee would be great thanks.”  Peter said smiling slightly.

“Wanna help me cut up fruit for the waffles as your half of the penance?”  Johnny asked as he mixed the batter.

“Err…”

“Pete.”  Johnny started as he looked at him with wide eyes.

“Well, I mean how hard can it be?”  He said sounding very unsure of himself.

“It's cutting up fruit, I think you can manage.  Just don’t cut any of your fingers off, I kind of like your hands.”  Johnny said with a wink.  Peter glared at him.  “What?  I could have said way worse I toned it down for you.”  Peter decided to ignore him as he took the coffee Sue had handed him and looked started cutting up the fruit that Johnny had already pulled out. 

It turned out not to be easy at all, but Johnny’s laughter over his exasperation and Reed’s attempts to hide a smile told him that failing to cut fruit was something that was supposed to be simple. 

“You have to cut samples in Chemistry and do dissections in Biology how can you not cut fruit?”  Johnny said as he laughed at Peter’s uneven cuts and somewhat squished fruits.

“They’re still edible.”  Peter mumbled.

“It’s just like cutting food on your plate, I don’t understand how this happened.  What happens when you do the actual cooking stuff?”

“I can survive.  I just, I don't know I over think it and then...”  Peter looked down at the poorly cut fruit in front of him.  It looked more like it was supposed to be a chutney or jam then fruit toppings.  

“Clearly."  Johnny scoffed.  "You just eat instant noodles and instant soup don’t you.”

“I also eat toast.” 

“Oh my goodness, you’re going to die of malnutrition.”  Johnny sighed as he poured the batter into the waffle iron. 

“It’s adorable to hear Johnny lecture someone.”  Sue said from the table.  Johnny glared at Sue from over the table. 

“Sue, can we wait 24 hours before the public embarrassment starts?”  Sue conceded but mostly because she was a little worried Peter was overwhelmed. 

_________________________________________

Peter excused himself after he finished the waffles, saying he’d wanted to surprise Aunt May by helping her clean the kitchen floor.  It had been a bit of a narrow escape and an awkward exit but he’d managed to wave them all goodbye and flee before Johnny could step away from the sink where he was washing dishes.  It was probably rude, the whole Fantastic Four probably hated him now but he was just going to have to live with that.  Plus it was Spider-Man he actually needed them to like, not Peter Parker.  Peter sighed and picked up his phone.  He was desperate, his phone minutes and pride were just going to have to take the hit.  Peter called MJ.

“Oh wow a phone call, is the entire neighbourhood burning down?” 

“I need you to break into my house and clean my kitchen floor.”  Peter said slightly panicked as he walked down the streets of New York.  He needed to run away from everything for a while, he needed to swing through the streets while people tried to shoot him down, or hang out in a sewer or something.

“Umm no?  Why should I?”

“Johnny kissed me.”  Peter said quickly.

“What?”  MJ said sounding a little more than intrigued by where this story was going.

“And then I kissed him.  Okay well no I said he could kiss me again so he did, I backed out of kissing him.”

“Lame.”  MJ said.  He could almost imagine the popcorn bowl in front of her.

“And then I agreed to date him.”  Peter said ruffling his hair.

“WHAT?”  MJ’s excited yell through the phone made Peter pull the phone away from his ear. 

“Anyways and then I woke up-“

“Wait, wait, wait.  You?  You, Peter Parker.  You, stayed overnight?”

“It was just a hangout, he ambushed me.”  He tried to explain.  He could already tell MJ's brain had made the decision that Peter was madly in love with Johnny and couldn't resist any request.

“Sure…Sure…”  MJ said in a voice that totally did not sound convinced of Peter’s story.  “Did he ambush you…sexually?”

“MJ!  I’m kind of freaking out here!”  MJ’s laughter could be heard through the phone but Peter ignored it.  “And no we did not have surprise I want to date you sex.”

“Dang, bet he’s good.”

“MJ!”

“Fine, fine I’m listening and 100% taking you seriously.”  MJ said unconvincingly.

“Whatever.  Anyways so I needed to escape from breakfast where he told his whole family we were dating so I said I wanted to surprise Aunt May by cleaning her floors.”

“Why didn’t you just leave before breakfast.”

“He was making waffles, I couldn’t find a good out.”  Peter groaned.

“He made you waffles?  Oh my god Pete, you’re the worst.  He made you waffles and wanted to tell his family about you guys right away and you ran out on that?”

“MJ!”

“Honestly you’re going to make Johnny jealous from all the times you’re screaming my name.”  This time it was MJ who had to pull the phone away from her ear as Peter let out a frustrated shriek.  “Fine, as your friend I’m obligated to cater to your man-child crises.  Why can’t you clean May’s floor yourself?”

“I have to get photos for the Bugle.”  Peter lied smoothly.  He was going to grab some photos, probably. 

“Fine but I want a front page photo, you need to get me something that’s going to make the reporters on payroll burn with jealousy.” 

“Fine, fine.”

“If you fail me, I swear I will seriously consider bringing back the Johnny Storm’s Mystery Man story.  That’ll get me at least page 6.”

“Bye MJ.”  Peter said while rolling his eyes.

“You owe me!”  She called as he hung up.  Peter sighed as he put his phone away.  He should have called Gwen, normally he would have called Gwen.  She would call him an idiot but at least she wouldn’t laugh uncontrollably and then file it away for future use like MJ.  Gwen didn’t exactly live in his neighbourhood though and if Johnny caught him lying about cleaning the floors then he was going to try to talk to Peter about emotions and feelings and stuff like that.  Peter wasn’t sure if he was ready to have a conversation like that with his…whatever Johnny was.

_______________________________

Peter decided today was the worst.  Spider-Man stopped a few muggings, attempted to help a few old ladies cross the street even though that effort only resulted in him getting hit with the ladies purses repeatedly, and bought a hot dog from his favourite hot dog stand.  By Parker standards, his day should have been going swimmingly, as long as you ignored his awkward encounter with the Four this morning. 

“I just wanted a nice, easy day.  Was that too much to ask for universe?”  He said to the sky ignoring the criminal that was ranting about destroying Spider-Man. It was just annoying until the guy hit a wall in anger and the rubble started falling down on bystanders. He had caught most of it but he’d had to push someone out of the way at the last minute when the guy started throwing the rubble and had let it slam him into a wall instead.  To say he was in serious pain after that would be an understatement.  At least he’d managed to web the guy's mouth closed before he said anything about squishing bugs. If Peter ever made money he was going to personally sponsor and exhibit at the natural history museum so maybe he could get some variety from his villains quips. 

“Hey there web-head.”  He heard the Human Torch say as he landed next to him on the rooftop over the city Peter was sitting on while trying to gather the motivation to sneak back into his house and patch himself up.  His suit was ripped, he was extremely bruised, and bleeding. “You look like you got slammed into a building.”

“I did.”  Peter answered with a sigh.  “With a giant piece of rubble from a broken wall.”

“What no quip?”  Johnny said with a smirk sitting down next to him.  Peter just rolled his eyes from under his mask.

“What are you doing in Queens anyways?  I heard you hate it here.”  Peter said not looking over at Johnny.  Spider-Man and the Human Torch were just starting to be somewhat friendly, probably something closer to frenemies and he wasn't sure he was willing to ruin that for what smelled like excellent Chinese takeaway.

“I don’t hate it here.  I was getting Chinese takeout.  I said I'd cook dinner tonight but there was a Ladies of London marathon on.”

“You went to Queens for Chinese takeout?  Did you get banned from all the ones around the Baxter Building or something?”  Peter responded choosing to ignore Johnny's terrible taste in TV shows. 

“Nah.  I might have been thinking about stopping by Pete’s…but then I decided that was weird and I should give him space.  I should give him space right?  You’re his friend, right?”

“Ah…”

“So how do I make sure he doesn’t freak out cause he’s kind of freaking out.”

“Umm…”  Peter wasn’t quite sure how to respond to this line of inquiry.  Was his and Spider-Man’s fake friendship in the gossip and talk about our life problems category?  What was he supposed to know about his own dating life?  “Why exactly are you stalking my one media contact?”  He decided it was better to play it safe.  Avoid your problems was basically his life motto at this point.

“You only have one media contact?  And it’s an underpaid intern?  Dude that’s so sad.  I have an entire publicity team.”  Johnny said in response.  Peter didn’t feel like explaining that it was actually sadder than that and his one contact was himself. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be proud of that.  Isn’t that basically just saying you need a team of people to make sure you don’t screw up in interviews.”

“Yeah well if you gave interviews you’d probably need like 7 teams to look half as good as I do.”

“Don’t worry Torch.  Everyone puts their TV’s on mute when you go on screen and just stares at your face.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way, Spidey.  Did you tell Peter you find me irresistibly handsome?”  Despite the fact that he felt his entire body was pulsating from pain and accelerated healing Peter managed to laugh slightly.  “Hey you’re a lame nerd, right?”

“What?”

“I’m serious here!  I want to plan something Peter would like.”  Johnny said, squinting as he thought.

“Oh so because I know him well too you want my advice?”

“No it’s more like, like you’re into like boring stuff like Reed but with a few extra scoops of lame, poor taste and no Sue to make you slightly cooler.  What kind of stuff do you do for fun, or are at least interested in?”

“Oh my goodness.”  Peter muttered putting his head down on his hands.

“I mean obviously I’ll have to tone it down a bit because clearly you have the worst taste and, I mean, I want Peter to keep dating me.”  Peter groaned into his hands.  He didn’t know how, but he felt that somehow MJ had orchestrated this entire conversation to torture him. 

“The Terrific Three kind of has a nice ring to it.”  Peter muttered to himself as Johnny continued talking.

“Maybe I shouldn’t take your advice actually.  I got Peter to go to a party last night, I mean in 5 years he could be almost passably cool - not if I take your advice obviously.  Maybe I’m fine on my own.”

“You can’t do it.”  He muttered to himself.  “You just got Mr Fantastic to talk to you.  If you strangle Johnny he’ll stop talking to you.”

“Maybe I should take his friends out and get them to tell me what to do.  MJ’s his best friend right?  I mean obviously, I’m not talking to Harry-“  He said his nose crinkling in disgust at the mention of Harry Osborn.

“No!  No talking to MJ!”  Peter couldn't stop himself from screeching.  

“Do you know MJ too?  Why do you know all these people, is this what it’s like to be street level?  Do people give you free groceries for helping them out?”  Peter snorted.

“Nah they usually just throw their old compost quality groceries at me.”  Peter sighed as he stood up deciding he should probably head home so he could respond to the copious amounts of text messages he was sure Johnny had left him.  He supposed he might as well use this opportunity to tell Johnny what he probably wouldn’t tell him otherwise.  “Just…let him freak out.  He’s going to anyways.”

“Is he going to stop freaking out?”  Johnny asked, looking a little dejected.

“Peter Parker?  Nah, he never stops freaking out.”  Peter glanced back at Johnny with a pause before deciding to say what was on his mind.  “You’re not going to be able to fix him Torch.” 

“What are you talking about?  Peter’s fine.”  Johnny said with a frown.  “Isn’t he?”

“Yeah…”   Peter said slowly not sounding convincing at all.  “Well at least he’s not some freak running around in a mask fighting people like the Human Fish Bowl, I’ll be sad to tell Mysterio someone tried to steal his name next time I see him.”  Peter said with all the bravado he could manage.  He probably needed counselling, having a secret identity kind of put a damper on that idea though. 

“Worst.  The absolute worst villains.” Johnny responded with the first genuine smile Peter had seen since he stopped in on Peter's post patrol pity party.

“We can’t all work outside the regular laws of physics, discover new dimensions and fight aliens.  Someone has to do the normal everyday hero work.” 

“Says the guy with spider powers.” Johnny scoffed as he stood up.

“What?  Who me?  Oh man, I never noticed.  Are you telling me not everyone has spider powers?”

________________________________

Johnny had been right, Peter was totally and completely freaking out.  He even purposefully dropped his fantasti-phone in front of a bus so he could say he didn’t get Johnny’s messages.  The fantasti-phone was of course designed to survive Ben and thus easily survived the bus.  Peter had sighed in defeat as he picked it off the asphalt unharmed.  He had escaped to the safety of his room when he got home, narrowly avoiding Aunt May who would no doubt ask him how his hang out with Johnny had gone.  Peter blinked in shock when he finally opened it up.  There were only three texts.  Two from MJ reminding him that he really, really owed her and only one from Johnny asking him to let him know that he got home alright. 

Peter didn’t know what to do about that.  Maybe he should call MJ again, he could probably withstand a little more of her laughing at him.  He thought about Skype calling Gwen, but this wasn’t the kind of thing they talked about together and it definitely wasn’t the kind of thing he and Harry talked about.  Peter groaned and collapsed onto his bed. 

“Peter Parker, you tell me what’s wrong this instant.  I did not work this hard on dinner for your teenaged angst to ruin it.”  Peter looked up to see Aunt may standing by the door he had left open.  He sighed, he was being careless.  What if he’d had his suit out or something?  Aunt May’s expression softened a little while Peter sat up on his bed and hugged his knees.  “You can tell me anything Peter, I’m not going to be disappointed in you.”

“I…I forgot to get the groceries again.  I’m sorry Aunt May.”  Peter said deciding he couldn’t talk to Aunt May about this.  Aunt May looked a little disappointed and Peter couldn’t tell if it was because of the forgotten groceries or that he didn’t want to talk about his problems.  He was starting to seriously consider becoming a hermit, then it would be a lot harder for him to disappoint people.

“That’s alright, dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes if you're hungry.”

“I am.  Thanks, Aunt May.”  Aunt May smiled and closed the door behind her as she left.  Peter felt his phone buzz and answered it with a sigh.

“I love that you can just make phone calls through wifi now.  It’s amazing.”

“What’s up MJ?”  Peter asked as listening to the sound of back beat coming through the phone from MJ’s side.

“I'm at a party and felt a strong current of sad pathetic vibes from the Queens direction and I figured it was from you.”

“For the last time MJ you don’t have ESP.”  Peter sighed as he flopped back onto his bed.

“Well are you making out with Johnny or are you sitting in your room listening to that weird sad music you like?”

“I’m not listening to weird sad music.”

“Meh, I’m close enough.  You can’t prove I don’t have ESP, unless of course, you were going to stop being such a baby and enjoy the fact that you’re going out with someone who likes you and who you like too.”

“Where are you anyway?”  Peter asked as he heard some crashing and shouting in the background of the call.

“Avoidance, classic Parker mope-tactic.  Harry decided to throw another party.”  MJ said sounding a little more upset near the end.  Peter was quiet on his end of the phone call, he didn’t like interfering with MJ and Harry’s relationship.  They were both his best friends, but sometimes Peter started to wonder if Harry would stay a good friend and boyfriend if he felt like he wasn’t the most important thing in their lives.  “His Dad’s out again, Harry got me a dress.”

“Do you like the dress?”  Peter asked.

“I don’t dislike it.”  MJ said with a sigh.  “Anyways that’s not what’s important here, we need to talk about you and Johnny.”  Peter didn’t want to talk about him and Johnny, but he also knew MJ didn’t want to talk about her and Harry.  He owed it to MJ to not force her to talk about her relationship problems over the phone at a party she didn’t want to be at. 

“He’s just…I think I might really like him MJ.”

“Ah.”  MJ said understandingly.  “So naturally you have to stop talking to him move countries and live out the rest of your days as Derek Driver, actually you don’t sound like a Derek Driver…Daryl Driver, yeah that’s okay.”

“What?”

“All I’m saying Pete is do you want to be Daryl, a sad lonely recluse monk who lives in Greece, or do you want to be Peter Parker.”

“Why do I become a monk in Greece if I don’t date Johnny?”

“Of course that’s what you focus on.”  She said with a frustrated sigh as if he was a five-year-old. 

“I think that’s what anyone would focus on.”  MJ didn’t respond.  Peter could almost see her examining her nails waiting for an answer.  “Fine, I’ll call him.”

“Oh what a hardship, talking to your boyfriend.”  Peter wasn’t going to point out the hypocrisy in her statement as she had obviously called him to avoid talking to Harry.

“Hey MJ…maybe don’t tell Harry you were getting me to talk to Johnny?”

“Why?  Harry’s not going to freak out about you dating a guy.”

“He will freak out about it being Johnny though.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“He doesn’t like him.”

“But he doesn’t know him.”  MJ answered still slightly confused.

“He doesn’t, not really.”

“Well…that’s kind of shitty.”

“Just…let me break it to him?  He’s fine with it when he thinks it’s a joke, but-“

“Hey Pete…don’t worry about him.  If he wants to have a pissing contest with Johnny that’s his business, you’re not his property.  You’re his friend and he should be happy for you.”

“MJ-“

“No honestly Pete.  I get that he’s your friend and you care about him, he’s my boyfriend I care about him too but he’s not the only person who gets hurt in life.  Neither of us got the easiest lot and he doesn’t get pretend that he’s the only person who ever gets hurt.”

“MJ are you okay.”  MJ didn’t answer.  “I can pick you up if you want.  I have it on good record that I am a massive party pooper.”

“…I thought you were going to have dinner with Aunt May.”  She said hesitantly.

“She’ll put it in the oven.  I’ll tell her you’re coming over.  She'll love that, she hasn't seen you in a while.”

“Okay.”  MJ answered quietly.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“No, no I’m okay.”

“If you’re not, just call.  Okay?”

“But your phone bill-“

“Hey you got me a raise at the Bugle right?  Gotta burn all that cash in my pocket.” Peter said with false cheer.  

“Liar, there’s no spare cash burning a hole in your pocket.  Pete…thanks.”

“The party is at Harry’s, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll text you when I’m close.”  Peter sighed and gathered his stuff quickly.  He bolted down the stairs and stopped by the kitchen to see Aunt May pulling a chicken out of the oven.  “Aunt May, I’m going to go pick MJ up.  Is it alright if she comes over for dinner.”

“Of course, I always liked my chicken a little dry anyways.”  Aunt May said with a smile and a shrug putting the chicken right back in the oven to keep it warm.  “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t think so.”  Peter said frowning and biting his lower lip.  Aunt May tried to manage a smile.  “I’ll be back soon.  I’ll call when we’re on our way home.”

“Don’t forget.”  Aunt May said teasingly, trying to keep the mood a little lighter.  Peter waved as he went out the front door and watched the bus he needed drive away. 

“Great…”  Peter pulled out his phone and dialed Johnny’s number, Johnny picked up after the second ring.

“Hi Peter, what’s up?”

“Wow you picked up.  On a Saturday?  And you said I was the lame one.”  Peter said in trying to keep the mood light.  He had been avoiding Johnny all day and he was sure Johnny knew that.

“What’s up Pete?”  Johnny said with a little bit of a sigh.  It was left unsaid that he had bailed on his Saturday plans because he was understandably a little bummed about possibly getting dumped 4 hours after starting a relationship.  Peter bit his lip and then decided to simply say what he was thinking.

“I need to pick up MJ.  I’m sorry I know we have other things we need to talk about like me running out on breakfast or me freaking out or me talking to a pigeon about our…thing, instead of you because it was easier but right now I just need to pick up MJ.”

“You talked to a pigeon about us?  Honestly Pete, I’m touched that you’ve started telling the local pigeons about our love.”

“Hardy-har-har.”

“Don’t worry about this morning, Sue lectured me after you left about how it probably wasn’t normal to force your boyfriend of 4 hours to talk to your whole family even if he kind of knows them.”  Johnny paused.  “Do you want me to pick you?  I can drive you to where MJ is.”

“No, no it’s fine.  I just…I like you.”  Peter hung up.  If he wasn't pretty beat up he might have actually punched himself.  “Great job Peter, that wasn’t weird at all.  Hanging up on people you called is a totally normal thing to do.”  Peter’s phone rang in his hand.  He knew it was probably Johnny but he picked up anyways.

“You called me because you needed a ride didn’t you?”  Johnny said sounding slightly smug and much happier than the last time Peter had called him.  Peter let out and exasperated sigh.  So Johnny hadn't missed him say that he liked him before he hung up.  He squinted down the road trying to will the bus to come sooner.  In actuality, the bus wouldn’t be here for another 20 minutes and he did really need to pick up MJ.

“Yeah, yeah I do.  Sorry I don’t know why I said I didn’t.”  Peter managed to say as he sat down on the road curb by the bus stop.

“So do you want me to grab you and drive you to where MJ is or do you want me to pick up MJ?”

“Umm…just pick me up.  I can bus back with MJ.”

“Oh I’d pick you up any day.”  Johnny said teasingly.  “Sorry wrong time for that, you can wait in your house you know, I’m pretty fast but I’m not that fast.”

“Psh…I’m not outside, what are you talking about.”  Peter answered.

“Peter I can hear the wind through the phone.”

“See this is why I didn’t upgrade phones for the longest time.  You can tell Reed him and his fancy phones are coming close to falling out of my top 5.”  Not to mention Peter usually had to drop the phone somewhere before he went out as Spider-Man because he was a little paranoid about Reed having a tracker activated on the phone.  Peter Parker in Hell’s Kitchen was somewhat explainable, Peter Parker in the middle of the Hudson for several hours was less explainable.

“I’ll be there in a bit, why don’t you wait inside with Aunt May?”

“Yeah…that’s a good idea.  Sorry I’m just a bit…is it faster if you pick MJ up and bring her here?”

“Honestly?  Yes, especially since she’s just at Harry’s.”

“Okay…okay just pick MJ up then.”

“Okay, I can get MJ to call you when we’re on our way.”

“No, no it’s fine I’ll just wait here and…yeah.”

“Is everything okay?”

“…I don’t know.”

“I’ll be there in a bit, I’m going to pick MJ up.”

“Okay, I’ll text you her number.  Johnny, thanks.”

“No problem.  Make sure you go back inside.”  Peter hung up the phone with a sigh.  It wasn’t like MJ to call for an out at a party, especially not one of Harry’s parties.  Peter drummed his fingers against his leg as he waited.

_________________________________

Johnny texted MJ that he was outside while he leaned against his car.  He didn’t have to wait long as MJ exited gracefully and swiftly from the building.  It only took a moment for her to spot Johnny and begin walking towards him in a full party dress and heels.  He normally would have whistled but he wasn’t quite sure how she would react to that at this moment, he didn’t know her very well and Peter had sounded worried.

“If you say something stupid like M’lady I’m going to punch you in the face.”  MJ said in lieu of a greeting.  Johnny put his hands up in mock surrender.

“Fine I’ll just save it for people who will appreciate it, like Peter.”  MJ snorted at that and smiled slightly.  “Just so you know I am going to play Shakira the entire car ride.”  Johnny said with a smile as he walked around and got into the front of the car.

“Honestly, it can’t be worse than when Peter picks the music.  Besides I like Shakira.”

“Right?  Who doesn’t like Shakira?”  Johnny started the car and pulled into traffic as Shakira played in the background.  MJ was quiet beside him.  “Did you tell anyone you were leaving?”

“No.  There wasn’t anyone I wanted to say goodbye too.”  MJ looked out the window and watched the city pass by.  “I don’t think Harry will notice anyways.”

“Do you want me to stop by your house so you can change before we go to Pete’s?”  Johnny asked, he’d remembered Peter saying something about how he and MJ had grown up together, he figured they lived somewhat close to each other.  MJ looked down at the dress she was wearing with disdain.

“No.  No, that’s okay.  My house is…not really a drop-in location.”  MJ said with a smile that seemed anything but a smile.  “It’s okay though, I stay at my Aunt’s a lot and I’m going to move out as soon as I’m 18.”  MJ fiddled with her phone as she spoke.

“Cool, just to Pete’s then.  Oh I love this song.”  Johnny said as he leaned forward and cranked the next Shakira song making MJ smile slightly.  He didn’t really try to talk to MJ for the rest of the ride and just let her sit quietly and look out the window. 

_________________

Peter was still outside when Johnny and MJ pulled up.  It looked like Aunt May had dropped off a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate for him while he waited.  He glanced up when he heard the car pull into the street parking.  MJ hesitated and stayed in the car for a moment.

“If you need a moment I can go distract Peter.”  Johnny said looking over at MJ.

“Yeah, I just need a minute.  Thanks.”  Johnny smiled at MJ, stepped out of the car and walked towards Peter who had stood up from his sitting spot on the street.

“Is she okay?”  Peter asked not able to stop himself from glancing at the car behind Johnny where he knew MJ sat. 

“She didn’t really seem to want to talk about it.  You didn’t wait out here the whole time did you?”  Peter didn’t answer which Johnny took as a yes.  “Do you want me to head out when she feels ready or do you want me to stick around?”

“You can stay.  Aunt May made me promise I would offer you dinner.” 

“You can tell her I was busy if you want.”

“No, it’s fine.  I mean, I want you to stay.”  Peter cleared he throat and looked away while Johnny smiled slightly.  “Just don’t remind Aunt May how bad I am at cooking.  She tried to teach me a while ago and honestly we can’t afford the kitchen repairs my cooking skills make necessary.”  Peter said laughing and then wincing as he felt one of his still healing ribs.  He should probably make sure they’re set properly but they felt more tender then broken, at least he thought so. 

“Are you okay?”  Johnny asked concerned noticing Peter’s wince.  Peter froze but felt relief wash over him as he heard the car door open and MJ step out.  He passed the long cooled hot chocolate to Johnny and walked towards MJ pulling her into a hug.  She paused for a moment before returning it and hiding her head in the crook of his neck.  Peter could feel his ribs and still healing limbs protest the movement but he didn’t particularly care at the moment.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to call Gwen to come over?”

“No.”

“Okay.”  Peter paused as he continued to hug MJ not quite sure what to do next.  They stood there for a while.  Peter saw Johnny lock his car and bring the mug back inside leaving them along from the corner of his eye. 

“He called me a whore.”  Peter didn’t say anything back, he just continued to hug MJ.  “And I don’t…I don’t even like this dress.  I liked my dress, the one I came over in.  I’m sorry, I know he’s your best friend-“

“MJ you don’t have to be sorry at all.  Pretty sure being my best friend isn’t a free pass for behaving however you want.”

“I know he’s going to feel bad about it and I know he’s going to say sorry but…I can’t do it Pete.  I don’t want to be my Mom.”

“You’re not going to be.  Whatever you decide to be MJ you’re going to be amazing.  Come on, Aunt May will only let her chicken get so dry before she starts hitting me with a dish rag for ruining dinner.”

“May wouldn’t do that.”

“Well…not in front of you.”  MJ chuckled slightly.  “MJ, you’re still my friend regardless of if you’re dating Harry or not.”  MJ just smiled and nodded as they walked into the house to the animated chatter of Aunt May and Johnny discussing cooking.

"Can I mercilessly make fun of you in front of Johnny, since I'm so sad."

"Mary Jane Watson I'd be insulted if you didn't.  I didn't work that hard at embarrassing myself for this long to not get made fun of."  Aunt May smiled at Peter and MJ as they walked in and called everyone to the table for a late dinner that Peter was pretty sure he was going to regret allowing to happen in approximately five minutes.  

Chapter Text

Peter regretted this dinner. He regretted it more than trying to befriend Flash in the 3rd grade. He definitely regretted telling his Aunt about the day Johnny had made a speech at school. Even while he was drowning in embarrassment he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset with any of them while they all looked so happy. It had been a while since Peter had heard Aunt May laugh like this, he was willing to withstand any amount of embarrassment for that.

“Oh my god, Peter, Peter, Peter, do you remember what you did next?” MJ said laughing while she spoke. Peter groaned and put his head in his hands. He was acting a little bit and couldn’t stop a small smile from sneaking onto his face. It was always nice when MJ came alive again, and he was pretty much completely sure that Johnny had never once thought of him as cool.

“No. No, I definitely do not remember anything happening next. There was no next.”

“So Peter decides if he’s gonna take Gwen to the dance, he needs to know how to actually dance-“

“I trusted you.”

“First mistake Tiger.” MJ said the old nickname slipping from her mouth for the first time in years. “Anyways so I might have told Peter that everyone ballroom dances at the school dance. And Peter being the adorable no fun anti-social creature he is had absolutely no idea how far from the truth that was.”

“Well, I mean it’s a bit weird but a good waltz or salsa at a school dance wouldn’t be too bad. I mean I can’t imagine it was done well-“
“Oh it wasn’t” MJ interrupted with glee.

“MJ signed me up for Cha Cha lessons.” Peter groaned.

“The Cha Cha.” Johnny said in disbelief.

“He was so bad!” MJ exclaimed unable to stop laughing. “And oh my goodness Gwen’s face when he said in complete seriousness while regular club music played in the background ‘I don’t get it how do you Cha Cha to this’ and then she’s watching this guy she doesn’t even know that well awkwardly Cha Cha alone in one spot with a face of pure confusion. Like they both just did not understand what was going on at all.”

“Wait Peter did you Cha Cha in front of the whole school? Can you show me, I wanna see if you still have the moves.” Johnny looked more excited than an 8 year old on Christmas. Peter was beyond grateful for his poverty for once, it meant MJ didn't have video footage of the event. They both had flip phones at that time, even though Harry had bought her a much nicer one soon after. She would leave it at school though, knowing her Dad would pawn it if she brought it home.

“Like you know anything about ballroom dance.” Peter grumbled.

“I’ll have you know I am a avid fan of Dancing With The Stars. They’ve never asked me but I am completely ready if they do.”

“Is that why there are so many sequins in your closet?”

“Alright, alright. Let’s all give Peter a break, even though Lord knows he deserves a little teasing.”

“Aunt May!”

“Why don’t you kids go watch a movie in the living room I’ll cut up the peanut butter squares I made for dessert.” Peter decided to stay quiet as Johnny and MJ debated which movie should be put on both of them speaking animatedly over top of him their limbs flying in front of his face. He’d somehow got stuck in the centre of the two person couch that all three of them had somehow squished onto.

MJ wasn’t shy at all about taking up as much space as she wanted while Johnny seemed perfectly comfortable with any amount of physical contact. Peter was squished. Squished and being talked over and at some point Aunt May fondly handed them blankets and put out a plate of peanut butter squares. She made herself scarce after that. Peter suspected she went to bed. MJ fell asleep within 20 minutes of the movie starting even with her and Johnny commenting on it constantly.

“Does MJ need a ride back to her place?” Johnny asked quietly beside Peter’s ear making him shiver.

“Nah, she’ll crash on the couch. Thanks though. Really, thank you.” Peter said softly not turning back towards Johnny.

“Any time.” The movie played in the background, interrupting the silence. Peter winced as MJ kicked his injured ribs in her sleep. “Are you alright? You keep wincing.”

“Yeah it’s nothing too bad, I just crashed my bicycle into a pole while avoiding a taxi.” Peter lied smoothly.

“That doesn’t sound like nothing.” Johnny answered with a frown. Peter sighed and winced again as MJ nudged him again slightly. “Do you want to switch spots?”

“Nah I’ll just sit on the ground or something, honestly three of us squishing onto the couch isn’t really helping either.”
“You could sit on my lap.” Johnny said with a smirk. Peter rolled his eyes and went to stand up as Johnny caught his wrist. “You can sit on the couch, I’ll take the floor.”

“You realize MJ’s just going to stretch out more and keep kicking whoever’s on the other side?” Peter said with a yawn. “It’s fine I’m not really watching the movie anyways, what time is it?”

“2:30 am” Johnny answered glancing at his phone.

“Oh man that’s late. Sorry I really just meant to invite you in for dinner.”

“I wanted to stay.” Peter blushed where he stood as Johnny stared at him.

“I can pull out some blankets for you, it’s too late for you to drive back. Driving fatigued is just as bad as driving drunk.” Peter muttered not looking at Johnny. As Johnny stood up to follow Peter MJ quickly stretched herself out over the small couch. Peter’s lips twitched as he bend over and repositioned the blankets over her. Silently Peter motioned for Johnny to follow him upstairs. Johnny watched as Peter stumbled up the stairs sleepily with obvious fatigue.

“You don’t have to pull out blankets you know, we’ve already fallen asleep on the floor together.” Johnny teased. Peter turned around sleepily on the stairs with a frown. He blinked sleepily as he shrugged and continued up the stairs but this time directly into his room. Johnny followed with surprise evident in his face. “Really?”

“Shhh, I want to sleep.” Peter muttered looking ready to fall asleep on his feet.
“Don’t you need pyjama’s or something?” Johnny asked. Peter just groaned in answer and Johnny turned around to find Peter slumped on his bed.

“Bottom drawer.” Peter eventually managed to mutter. “Just grab whatever, I know you hate getting your clothes wrinkled.” Johnny smiled as he pulled the drawer open and looked through the assortment of pyjama deemed clothes. A familiar design caught his eye as a wide smirk crossed Johnny’s face.

“Here you go.” Johnny called jubilantly as he tossed a pair of PJ’s at Peter. Peter groaned not fully motivated to change at all. He forced himself to open his eyes again and found the pair of fantastic four pyjama’s his Aunt had bought for him last christmas in front of him. Peter felt his face flush red.

“Uh…”

“What?” Johnny answered, the smug grin he was no doubtably wearing clear in his voice. Peter turned to glare at Johnny and explain the existence of the pyjama’s but stopped short when instead he was faced with a shirtless Johnny Storm. The silence caught Johnny’s attention and his grin only grew wider as he noticed Peter’s pause. Peter felt his heart begin to pound as Johnny walked towards him smiling and shirtless. His first instinct was to punch him, but if Peter always followed his first response to Johnny’s actions he would have a permanent black eye. “You of course don’t have to wear them if you don’t want to.”

“Umm…”

“Or you could always wear the real one.” Johnny said leaning even closer to Peter.

“Like your uniform?” Peter asked. Johnny just smirked in response.

“Are you telling me you’d rather wear me?”

“No.” Peter sputtered feeling far more awake than he had two minutes ago. Johnny hummed thoughtfully and backed away slightly. Peter tried not to notice that he missed the heat Johnny emitted as he backed away. He also tried not to notice that he felt a little disappointed as Johnny slipped a PJ shirt on.

“Not that I mind you watching me change, I’m super into that if you ever want to revisit strip teases in the future, but you might want to get ready for bed before you fall asleep on your feet again.” Peter turned slightly red and looked away. “I’ll turn around, scouts honour.” Johnny said with a soft smile as he turned around. Peter held in a sigh of relief. He was only slightly embarrassed of his body, mostly he was worried about explaining how a supposedly mild bike accident had left him a torso that looked like a bolder had landed on it. Feeling far too tired to explore any other options Peter pulled the 4 themed footie pyjamas on.

“I should have JJJ publish an unflattering photo of you for this, or shave your head or something.”

“Hey no one changes my hair! People magazine said it was my 7th best quality.” Johnny answered smiling while walking over slipping into the bed next to Peter who tensed up slightly. “I am fine with the floor you know.” He said offering Peter yet another out if he wanted it.
“Can we just go to sleep so I don’t over think this?” He answered with a sigh.

“You mean this hasn’t been you over thinking?” Johnny’s teasing was answered with a pillow being thrown at his face.

Peter was not over thinking things, he told himself for the 34th time as he lie awake Johnny sleeping soundly beside him. It was 5 am, Peter only had to pretend to sleep for maybe another two hours so Johnny didn’t feel guilty. There were plenty of things Peter did think Johnny should feel guilty about. The fact that he kicked in his sleep, his arms flopping over as he rolled in his sleep hitting Peter in the face, the fact that he didn’t have an ugly sleeping face Peter could tease him about or photograph. Unfortunately, the fact that Peter couldn’t sleep was more on Peter’s shoulders than Johnny’s.

Even though he had been inconvenienced by the sleeping habits of one Johnathan Storm, it was his general dislike of sleep that actually kept him up. Peter preferred to push himself until he practically fell unconscious, it helped keep the nightmares away. Or at least, it helped keep the physical manifestations of the nightmares away. There were a lot of things Peter wasn’t ready to tell Johnny, this was just going to be added to the list of things he doesn’t need to know about.

Johnny had left after breakfast after cleverly using the joint presence of MJ and Aunt May to get Peter to promise to come to one of his media events later. MJ had been ecstatic. Peter had been unable to change her mind as the front page story he had promised her for cleaning Aunt May’s floors clearly didn’t exist. He knew better than to think this made them even in MJ’s books, but it should at least satisfy her until she gets angry with him again. Peter felt he was pretty safe on that side. MJ really only seemed to get mad at him often when he showed up with a serious injury or when he was dating Gwen.

“You’re not wearing that.” MJ said from the couch as she waited for Peter to get ready. Aunt May had called MJ’s Aunt and managed to grab her a fresh set of clothes for today when she still looked hesitant about going home. Peter wasn’t sure if it was because she thought Harry would find her there or if it was because her family was there. Either way it was far less than MJ deserved.

“What’s wrong with this?” Peter asked looking down at his sweater. “I wear this all the time.”

“Exactly and you look terrible all the time.”

“Fine I don’t want to argue about this, if you want me to change you go find something else in my closet.” Peter shot back slumping into the couch opposite MJ. She pursed her lips at him looking annoyed. “I’m not apologizing.” He said not looking at her.

“Fine.” She said turning back to the newspaper. “I’m sorry I tried to help you look nice.”

“And people say New York’s predisposition to super villains is what’s most likely to kill you here.”

“Don’t be mean to the Super Villains, I’m counting on their continued existence to keep rent prices reasonable. A girls gotta eat.” Peter ignored her. “You ready to go?”

“You think he’ll notice if we don’t show?”

“Are you seriously asking me if your boyfriend won’t notice if you don’t show up to the event he asked you to come to 2 hours ago?”

“Maybe?”

“I am so glad we only dated for a month.”

“Don’t worry, I do this for social events too.” MJ threw a cushion at him.

__________

“I could be getting pictures of Spider-Man right now.”

“I could tell Aunt May you had me clean her floors.” MJ sing-songed back.

“Really, you wouldn’t tell Johnny?”

“One, I’m pretty sure Johnny already knows. I need to leave to go clean my Aunt’s floors? Really, Pete? Two, who would you actually be more terrified of finding out you made ME clean Aunt May’s floors?”

“Wow, I’m so glad to be here. I should go take pictures for the social columns.”

“That’s the spirit.” MJ said with a smirk. Peter held back his mumbled string of complaints. He walked around almost unnoticed as he took pictures of the event, at least he thought he was unnoticed until he heard a voice clear behind him.

“You do know I invited you here as a guest right?” Johnny said from behind him.

“Ah…yes?” Johnny just sighed in response. “What would I even do as a guest?” Peter answered back a little annoyed, it’s not like he like he had anything to do at a photoshoot and interview other than try and leech onto whatever story there was here. Frankly, Peter wasn’t sure why MJ was excited about this. He was pretty sure that this was just Johnny doing yet another teen magazine spread.

“I don’t know, hang out with me? Stop me from setting curtains on fire? Help me set curtains on fire?”

“Those would be some crazy curtains if you needed help setting them on fire.”

“Maybe Reed, will let you analyze the ones in the Baxter Building some time, pretty much everything in there if fireproof.”

“Does that bug you?”

“Not really, I have really good control over myself but it’s nice to have that extra layer or protection you know? I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Johnny answered honestly. Peter hadn't thought of that. Sure he had super strength to control but uncontrolled fire could do a lot more damage than Peter figured he could by accident with his strength.

“So what’s this shindig for anyway?” He asked changing the topic.

“Shindig?” Johnny parroted back with a raised eyebrow.

“Photoshoot? Media interview? I don’t know what do you normally call these?”

“Image management. You cover Spider-Man so I’m not really surprised you haven’t heard of it.”

“Spider-Man manages his image.” Peter muttered the statement sounding fake to his own ears.

“Peter, you’re his entire management team and you published a picture of him choking on a hot dog.” It was official Peter thought, Johnny could never know he was Spider-Man. It wasn’t even a trust thing anymore, he just couldn’t handle that amount of embarrassment. He didn’t regret publishing that photo though, Jameson had loved it and Aunt May’s medications weren’t cheap. Plus they still had Uncle Ben’s old hospital bills and the funeral bills. Once while in costume someone had asked him if we was scared of the villains he faced, Peter hadn’t known what to say then and he still wasn’t sure what he would say now. He was never afraid of fighting villains, he was always more afraid of not being able to. Real villains wore business suits and punching them didn’t stop their plots. Peter supposed this was why people loved heroes like Reed Richards or Tony Stark so much, they could get the suits in the shadows. “Earth to Peter.” Johnny said waving his hand in front of Peter’s face.

“Oh sorry, umm…yes?” Peter said as he fiddled with his camera settings. Johnny let out an over dramatic sigh.

“Never mind I guess, you’ll hang around right?” A technician called out for Johnny in the background as they needed him back on set. He waited for a beat hoping Peter would answer his question.

“Yeah, unless something cooler happens then I’m totally gone.” Peter watched as Johnny frowned slightly and then just nodded and left as the technician tried to call him again. Peter frowned in return. He’d just been joking with Johnny just like he always had.

“Wow your a real charmer aren’t you?” MJ said sliding next to him. Peter was about to respond when his phone buzzed with a news alert. The Spot was robbing a bank.

“Dang camera memory cards full, I’m gonna go grab my back up.”

“Peter-“

“Be right back MJ!”

“Peter!” MJ called trying to get his attention as he disappeared down the hall. She sighed as she glanced towards Johnny who was watching Peter’s disappearing form with disguised confusion and disappointment.

Peter tried to ignore the familiar post battle soreness that spread through his body as he reached for his bag that he’d hidden before the battle. He’d only been gone about an hour, Johnny and MJ should probably still be at the studio where the photoshoot had been taking place. Other than The Spot nothing too major seemed to happen today that Peter knew about that would have divided Johnny’s attentions. It was times like this that Peter envied the Four’s ‘wait to be called’ approach. It certainly left them with more free time than him. Peter changed and pulled out his phone.

You are so dead Peter Parker! - MJ

Peter sighed and dialled her number. It’s not like he could just ignore a bank robbery, and technically he couldn’t do his job without a memory card, though technically he had been invited as a guest not for work. Still, he didn’t know why she was so mad.

“Hey MJ I’ll be back in 5.” He said as he walked in their direction. He was probably more like 15 minutes away, at regular human walking speed but 5 sounded better.

“I can’t believe you left! You never listen to what anyones saying! It’s always just ‘be right back MJ’, or ‘oh crap I forgot something’! Why don’t you just listen!” MJ said in an angry whisper. She quite obviously wanted to yell at him but didn’t want the attention that yelling would bring.

“It was an hour at most-“

“No! If you just listened then you wouldn’t have left for a fucking memory card! Johnny asked you to come today, was it so hard to stick around?”

“Look I’ll come to the next one and I’ll apologize, I really am sorry.” Peter tried. He did feel bad about ditching Johnny, he always felt bad about ditching people but he didn’t have a choice. Okay, he technically did have a choice but letting people get robbed or hurt wasn’t really much of a choice. Johnny should get that.

“There is no next time Pete! If you hadn’t been zoning out all day you would have known that he was coming out as pansexual.” Shit, Peter thought.

“Shit.”

“That’s right Peter-never-swear-Parker. Shit. You are in deep, deep shit.”

“Okay well, should I meet you guys there or…”

“I don’t know Pete. It’s your choice. Honestly what’s gotten into you this last year?” Peter stopped himself from retorting radioactive spider venom. It’s not like it was an excuse. It really wasn’t, he was just a terrible friend. “Seriously Pete, are you sure you’re okay? You’re always tired, you look like you’re in pain like 70% of the time, you show up late, and you break promises. What’s up?”

Peter felt terrible, he really did. But he’d also had a really tough year and was tired of people constantly expecting him to be okay. Maybe they didn’t know about the radioactive spider bit but they did all know his Uncle had died, and that he’d been there. Peter was just tired, he had to apologize to Johnny right now not MJ. Peter hung up and turned his phone off. With a sigh Peter put his phone in his back pocket and decided to go for a walk.

That was how Peter came to be sitting on a roof that he shouldn’t have been able to access or climb out of costume with his feet dangling over the side of a 40 story building as he drank a soda. Maybe it wasn’t his smartest idea but he was a teenager and for once he was going to let himself be stupid. Perhaps his wallowing was why he didn’t feel his spider-sense tingling until arms had wrapped around him and pulled him back towards the centre of the roof away from the ledge he was happily, and safely perching on.

“WHAT THE HELL PETE!” He heard Johnny yell as Peter slowly came of of the shock of being snuck up on. He was really out of it today. Peter lulled his head back and glanced up awkwardly at Johnny who looked practically livid and was not loosening his grip on Peter at all.
“Johnny? How’d you find me I have my phone turned off. I mean unless Reed put an extra tracker in there, which I wouldn’t put past him. That reminds me I really have to sit down and talk to him about ethics, I mean I’m sure he knows them but I’m not sure he follows them.” Johnny just frowned.

“I’ve been looking for you for hours. The photoshoot ended and MJ said you’d hung up on her and disappeared. We’ve been trying to call you for like four hours Pete.”

“Whoops?” Johnny didn’t smile at that. He looked upset. Peter really was terrible at apologizing to people. It’s not that he wasn’t genuinely sorry, he just wasn’t very good with words. “Umm, not that I really mind but you can let go you know.” Peter said looking down at Johnny’s vice grip. He could break it, but super strength might kind of be a big tip off that Peter was more than he seemed.

“Fine but we stay in the centre of the roof. How’d you get up here anyways?”

“Long story.” Peter sighed.

“I’ve got time.” Johnny said as he pulled his arms away and scooted back a little. Peter shivered slightly at the heat loss. He hadn’t noticed that he was cold before, but he wasn’t particularly surprised. He’d been zoned out on a roof top for four hours. He was probably just lucky that no one spotted him and then called the police thinking he was going to commit suicide. Peter looked up in shock as he realized what Johnny had been worried about.

“I wasn’t going to jump.” Peter said quickly as he looked at Johnny his eyes a little wide. Johnny didn’t say anything back. “It’s just something I do when I need to think, I find a nice rooftop and chill.”

“40 stories up?” Johnny responded raising his eyebrows slightly.

“I’ve got a few tricks.” Peter said instead of answering.

“Did Spider-Man leave you up here?”

“What?” It was technically true, Spider-Man had brought Peter Parker up here but something about Johnny’s face said verifying that wouldn’t be a good idea.

“I don’t see how else you could get to the roof of a building you don’t have access to.”

“Okay, yes. I got a…lift from Spider-Man.”

“Was it revenge for the hot dog pictures?”

“No it wasn’t revenge for the hot dog pictures! Can we please stop talking about those?”

“Is that why you left? To go watch him fight The Spot?”

“No I didn’t leave to go watch him fight The Spot!” Peter said making sure to keep himself from yelling that he had left to go fight The Spot. Not even Johnny would miss the implications of a statement like that.

“Then why are there photos of that on the Bugle’s website?”

“I just happened to run into it!” Peter tried weakly, this was not how he saw his apology going at all.

“Of course you just happened, to run into it. Just like you happen to disappear all the time when Spider-Man’s up to something.”

“Look I’m sorry I missed your thing-“

“This isn’t about that.”

“Well clearly it’s about something. You made a big decision and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to support you.”

“It just seems like you miss everything everyone else is doing but you always know what Spider-Man’s up to. Are you, are you in love with him?”

“For the last time I’m not in love with Spider-Man!”

“I just don’t get what you were doing on the edge of a rooftop.”

“Thinking! I was just thinking…look I’m really sorry I zoned out like all day today and yesterday and that I missed your photoshoot which I understand now you wanted me to come for support-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. I know it’s not okay and…I’m, I’m not okay and I don’t know what kind of illusions you have about me but…I’m kind of a mess Torch.”

“I did it for you, you know.”

“What?”

“The whole coming out interview thing. I mean it’s not really a big deal to me, everyone who matters to me knows and I don’t really think it’s anyone else’s business, frankly they’re kind of an idiot if they miss it. But I knew that if we ever wanted to be more serious or be more official they’d all write about the mystery-boy who ‘turned me gay’ so it was better to get ahead of them so hopefully, if you still want to, they won’t make a big deal about it.”

“But I didn’t ask you do do that.”

“I know, I’m not telling you because I think you should be grateful or anything. I’m telling you because I really like you, and I want you to stop thinking I don’t.”

“I’m not kidding though - to be clear I was not going to jump off the roof, but I am a mess.”

“Peter…anyone who’s known you for longer than a day knows you’re kind of a mess.” Peter couldn’t help it, he started laughing and laid back against the roof to look at the sky. “So to be clear, you don’t like Spider-Man.”

“I like you, you giant ignoramus.” Peter groaned at the sky. He glanced over at Johnny who’s face and split into a giant grin.

Chapter Text

“Ah Spider-Man, thank you for joining us.  I see you saw the window I left open for you.”  Reed Richards said as Peter walked into the lab beside Sue.  “Again, we do have a front door that you’re always welcome to.”

“Nah, I like to stay in character.  My fellow spiders and I tend to favour windows over doors.  I by far hold the spider record for scaling buildings.”  Peter said as he leaned against a piece of equipment that probably shouldn’t be leaned against.  Reed had said he’d uncovered something about the whole moth plot, which was great except sleuthing was totally Peter’s thing.  He knew he couldn’t outmatch Dr. Richards when it came to brain power but he did kind of doubt the man’s ability to sneak around. 

“You’re not funny.”  Johnny said from across the room where he sat for the meeting glaring at Spider-Man. 

“Peter say’s hi.”  Peter mocked feeling a tad annoyed at Johnny.

“No fighting in the lab!”  Reed scolded as Johnny started soldering.  “So I called Victor-“

“You called him?  I knew you didn’t sleuth, your hair’s too nice.”  Peter grumbled in his usual slightly too high pitched voice.  Being a teenager had some perks, voice cracks was not one of them.

“Not all of us enjoy being on the grey side of the law and on wanted lists.”  Johnny taunted back.

“Most of those are misunderstanding, I swear!”  Peter said putting his hands up.

“Most?”  Sue said with a frown.

“I like to be honest.”  Peter shrugged not offering any further explanation.  Technically he was a frequent trespasser, as he preferred to put it.  Except for those few times at Oscorp which probably were closer to break-ins than Peter would like to admit. 

“Yeah honesty.  That’s why you wear a mask, right?"

“Johnny.”  Reed warned before taking control of the situation again.  “Despite his short comings, occasionally Victor does do the right thing.”

“Umm…I don’t mean to be a downer Mr. Fantastic.  But being Doctor Doom is a pretty big short coming.”  Reed ignored Peter and continued.

“He has admitted to…an awareness of Von Meyer’s activities and apparent demise.”

“So the metal head is involved then?”  Ben said gruffly speaking for the first time since the start of the meeting.

“Not necessarily.”

“Not that I don’t love getting to visit the Baxter Building, but is there actually anything new that you know because I have home work to do…by which I mean work, at home.  Work home.”  Peter grimaced behind his mask, that was a weak save.  He was pretty sure work home wasn't a thing.  He should have gone with work from home and then broke into song.  They would have just gotten annoyed and moved on as quickly as possible if he did that.

“Spider-Man, we know you’re between the ages of 16 and 23.”  Sue said sounding a little bored.

“Rude I could totally be like 35.  Or like super old but in really good shape.  I like that, I want it on my S.H.E.I.L.D. file that I'm 85.  Wait I do have a S.H.E.I.L.D file right?  Am I allowed to read it.  Do you have to hack in and get it or is it like CCTV footage that you can just request at anytime?” 

“…College age kids have home work too.”  Sue said looking a bit like a cat who’d just caught a canary as she ignored the rest of his rant.  Peter had no idea why Reed hadn’t put her in charge of gathering intel.  He was pretty sure they’d have Latveria at it’s knees by now if she had. 

“You know the fact that we put an expected age limit on college could be really damaging.  It makes kids run into college degrees they’re not sure they want and employers wary of older candidates who waited before going to college.  You’re enforcing negative cultural attitudes Sue.” 

“I know this is difficult for you Spider-Man but can we please focus.”  Dr. Richards sighed.  Johnny chuckled from his side of the room as Peter glared at him.  “Alright then, until further action can be proven the Fantastic Four doesn’t have enough jurisdiction to follow up on Swarm and whatever abstract crime she keeps claiming is going to happen.”

“What?”  Peter said calmly looking at the Four as most of them shrugged.

“We operate under stricter rules than you Spider-Man.”  Sue explained.  “S.H.E.I.L.D has placed investigating the occurrences at the gala with Tony and the Avengers, partially under the assumption that Tony was the intended target, the moths haven’t appeared again for weeks, Von Meyer is dead, and the only person Swarm talks to is you.”  Peter let the last part of Sue’s statement sink in as they all looked at him.

“Wa-Wa-Wait, are you saying I have something to do with this?”

“I think you’re getting played, son.”  Reed said calmly.  He didn’t sound judgemental, Peter could tell that much.  But his words implied that they thought Spider-Man was inexperienced and lacked the necessary skills to discern what was a real plot and what wasn’t.  They thought he was crazy.

“Look Mr. Super-Stretchy, I admire you but I’m not stupid.  I know what I’m doing.”

“Spider-Man, you can’t rush into every crime.  You’ll end up dead, this is out of your league.  This one just needs time, let Tony handle it.”  Reed tried.  He looked sincere, but Peter didn't need sincerity.  Spider-Man didn't need people looking out for him, he needed to stop whatever bug-bio-hazard plot the worlds baddies were cooking up.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I get it you want to be a hero, but we don’t even know what the game is here.”  Reed tried sounding annoyingly levelheaded. 

“I’m not doing this to be a hero!”  Peter fumed back at Reed.  He took a deep breath and stopped leaning against the console so he could leave the lab swiftly.  “When you find people dropping dead on the streets because of an insect related bio-virus make sure you give me a call.”

“Spider-Man we don’t know if-“

“When.  I’m right about this and if I do my job right then you’ll get to keep wondering if I was.”  Peter left the lab quickly after that with both Sue and Reed looking like they thought the meeting could have gone better while Ben and Johnny looked indifferent.  So what if the Fantastic Four didn’t think he could do his job, Peter was just fine with that.  He’d just have to make sure he managed to swallow any resentment he was feeling before Peter Parker had another run in with them. 

It was honestly a bit more infuriating that the Human Torch seemed to think Spider-Man was incapable, Peter thought as he swung through the city.  Johnny was pretty much less than a year older than him, he had no reason to think he was more capable then Spider-Man.  If the Human Torch got the same press reputation that Spider-Man got then it would be Johnny who was thought of as incapable.  Peter needed to find Swarm and keep working on this, even if the all knowing Reed Richards thought it was a waste of time.

______________________________

Peter physically restrained himself from sighing when he saw Johnny’s newest front cover displayed predominantly on the magazine cart.  Johnny grinned cheekily with the words ‘He’s Anyone’s Game!’ sprawled on the front.  Peter imagined Johnny had approved that title, or provided it himself.  At least Peter wasn’t fighting with Johnny anymore, even if Spider-Man was.  He wasn’t even sure if he could blame his life on Parker-luck any more, it seemed more like self-inflicted disaster. 

The door to the cafe chimed as Peter opened it.  He glanced around for Harry, hoping that he would have beat Peter there so he wouldn’t have to deal with waitresses who didn’t think he could afford to leave a decent tip, or any of the cafe's food.  It made Peter feel awkward but not angry, he didn’t really have the budget to buy food at places like this.  But he was meeting Harry which meant, as always, Harry picked the place.  He finally spotted Harry sitting in a corner with a baseball cap and sunglasses on. 

“Hey man.  What’s with the ‘I’m a celebrity trying to go unnoticed starter kit’ look?”  Peter said as he sat opposite Harry. 

“I have a hangover.”  Harry mumbled as he took a sip of some sort of green-brown smoothie thing in front of him.  “You want anything?”

“I’m good with water.”  Peter shrugged.

“Hi, an americano and two full breakfasts”  Harry said to the waitress.  She smiled and collected the extra menu’s on the table before heading off.  Peter thought Harry could have been a bit more polite but if he was honest with himself what he just witnessed was Harry being polite.

“Since when do you drink coffee and eat two breakfasts?” 

“The coffee and other breakfast are for you Pete.”  Harry said while rubbing his temples with a frown.  Peter couldn’t help but think that it must be one heck of a hangover Harry was dealing with.

“Oh, thanks I guess.  You could have just gotten me regular coffee, honestly can’t taste the difference.”

“I know I’ve seen you mix chocolate milk and day old coffee and tell me it’s a mocha.  They don’t serve regular brewed coffee here.”

“Of course they don’t.”  Peter muttered as the coffee was placed in front of him. “Thank you.”  He said to the waitress.

“Don’t worry about it.”  Harry answered to both the waitress and Peter’s confusion as he continued to try to rub away his headache.

“So…” Peter started as he took a sip of coffee hoping Harry would start talking.  He didn’t.  “What’s up?”

“I just hadn’t seen you in a while and I wanted to hang out.”  Peter doubted it, Harry wanted to talk and he wanted an audience to make sure Peter didn’t freak out or felt like he couldn’t walk away dramatically.  He just wasn’t sure why.

“Cool here I am, hanging out.”  Peter waited again as Harry took a few more sips of whatever that concoction that was sitting in front of him was.

“I need you to come to my party tonight.”

“You have a party tonight?  Harry, you have a hangover right now as we speak.”  Peter said with a frown.  He was starting to wonder if Harry was in a downwards spiral with parties, but he wasn't exactly a good authority on how many parties were too many.  He tended to think one was too many.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand, but having a certain status demands a certain amount of effort.”

“Low blow Harry, I like to think that even if I had a so called status to defend I would still hate parties.  In fact I think I have a track record that proves it.”  Peter said shrugging off Harry’s insult.

“Will you please just come Pete?”  Harry asked sounding exhausted.  “I’d usually ask MaryJane but she’s kind of been AWOL lately.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s only been two days since she left your party early.”  Peter said rolling his eyes as their breakfasts were put down in front of them.

“How do you know about that?  I didn’t tell to you about that.”  Harry said sitting up and looking more awake then he had since Peter walked in. 

“Umm…”  Peter tried to think of what to say next.  Some how MJ spent the weekend at my house didn’t sound like the best thing to say right now.  It was either admit he spent the weekend with MJ or talk to Harry about Johnny, neither seemed like a great option.  Harry seemed to be glaring at Peter from behind his sunglasses, he couldn’t totally tell.  “MJ crashed at me and Aunt May’s this weekend.”  Adding Aunt May in should at least relax Harry a little bit.

“Why?”  Harry said still sounding quite annoyed.  Apparently mentioning Aunt May hadn’t helped as much as Peter hoped it would.

“She wanted to hang out somewhere else and we hadn’t in a while.”  Peter shrugged wanting to give MJ the opportunity to explain why she was upset to Harry.

“You could have come over and hung out at my apartment.”  Harry said with a frown.  It was hard to tell if he was genuinely upset or not, the hangover kind of made it seem like he was upset about everything.

“Queens is cool.”

“Queens is the opposite of cool, we always hang and mine why did you go to May’s?” 

“Hey! I live in Queens.”  Peter said steering them away from Harry's line of questioning.

“How is that supposed to prove it’s cool?”  Harry said with a small smile on his face.  Peter smiled back, Harry seemed to be almost acting like himself again.

“Aunt May lives in Queens?”  Peter tried.  He loved his Aunt, but saying his elderly Aunt was the sole defender of Queens being cool was a bit of a stretch, even for him.  “Look it was just a change of scene okay?”

“What’s up with both of you lately, when have either of you ever wanted a change of scene?  Is this because of Storm hanging around you guys to try to get some actual news coverage?  You know he’s just using you and MJ for press coverage, right?”  Apparently Harry still wasn’t acting like himself.  Peter paused and thought about it.  In actuality suspicion over peoples actions and assuming they weren't genuine was pretty typical Harry.  Norman had made sure Harry thought that everyone always wanted something out of you.  Mr. Osborn was convinced that MJ was a gold-digger.  Peter wasn't sure what Norman though he wanted from Harry.  Maybe he just assumed Peter was so lonely he just genuinely wanted a friend.  Peter couldn't decide if that was better or worse than Norman thinking he had nefarious intentions. 

“Harry, come on man.”

“You can’t seriously like him Pete.  Who would want be friends with the fallout of one of Richards lab failures?”  Harry scoffed.

“He’s a really nice guy Harry.  Can we just drop it, I’ll go to your party okay?”  Peter said hoping they would change the subject.

“You have to wear a suit.”  Harry said.  Peter stopped with his fork half way to his mouth.

“Harry what kind of party is this?” 

“Don’t worry Pete, just come over like an hour early?”  Harry glanced at Peter.  “Maybe an hour and a half.  I’ll have a suit for you.” 

“When I said yes, I thought you meant a house party.”

“Pete, I need you there.” 

“Fine.  Fine.”

“And I need you to get MJ there.”  Harry said as he picked away at his food looking like he didn’t expect anything other than a yes. 

“Harry, I can’t.”  Harry stopped eating and put his fork down.

“You can’t?  What is she sick?”  Harry said with a raised eyebrow sounding more mocking than concerned.

“Look I’ll ask her, but it’s really up to her and if she feels up to it.  Plus a suit-and-tie style party might not be the best place for you two to hash out your differences.”

“Ask her now.”  Harry said firmly. 

“Harry-“  Peter started as Harry just stared at him.  “You know what, I’m just going to go.  Don’t worry I’ll still call MJ and show up at your party.  Just send me the info or something.”

“Peter-“  Harry said sounding more than a little upset.  Peter closed his eyes and sighed sitting back down.  “I’ll stop talking about it, sorry.  I’m just.  A lot’s going on.”

“Okay.” 

“Can we just hang out?  I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to hang out.”

“Yeah of course man, whatever you need.”  Peter said tapping his friend on the shoulder from across the table. 

“You’re a good friend Pete.  Seriously, what does a guy have to do to make you hate him?”

“A lot.”  Peter laughed as Harry visibly relaxed and finally started actually eating the food in front of him.

______________

“Again I just want to stress you don’t have to go at all if you don’t want to.  I can say you have influenza.  I can probably find a small child to give you influenza.” 

“Peter you don’t need to kidnap a child to give me the flu.”  MJ said over the phone.

“Borrowing, borrowing a child.  With every intention of giving them back.  I bet I could even make it a babysitting thing, so then I’m getting paid then it’s like a day trip or something.”  Peter said as he walked home.  "Oh look there's one now, sniffles and everything."

“I cry for whatever company you end up working for in the future.  Please continue being a science genius so I don’t have to watch over your ass at the Bugle for the rest of my life.”

“Ah, smart.  That way I have Gwen to worry over the ethics reviews for me.” 

“Honestly, I feel so bad for Johnny.  I don’t think he has any idea what he’s getting into.  He probably thinks he scored a nice, smart, cute nerd and instead he’s about to find out he has a human disaster in need of constant supervision that doesn’t stop making bad jokes.”

“Pretty sure he’s the human disaster in need of supervision, I mean he does have three superhero’s watching over him.”

“Don’t you dare use a lame play on words to get out of this conversation Peter Parker, you’re not funny.”

“Why do people keep telling me that?”  Peter mumbled to himself mostly.  He was hilarious, everyone he knew just seemed to have no sense of humour.  “Anyways, so yeah.  If you come you’ll get to laugh at me in a suit, which I’m pretty sure is your only hobby.  But, it is Harry’s party so he’ll be there and was the one who wanted me to ask you to come.” 

“I’ll go.”

“I understand - wait what?”  Peter said stopping abruptly much to the displeasure of the other pedestrians on the street.

“Oscorp is having correspondents dinner to celebrate, put frankly, successfully avoiding scandals and being implicated in federal investigations this year.  Everyone who matters in news is going to be there, of course I’m going.”

“Even with the-“

“Harry told me I couldn’t go weeks ago because his dad found me uncouth, this is obviously his way of apologizing.”

“Why do I have to go then?”  Peter said as he started walking again.  He sounded a bit whinny, even to his ears. 

“Because you take pictures of Spider-Man, they all actually want to meet you.  You’re actually doing Harry a favour.”  MJ pointed out as if it should have been obvious.

“Dang, I should have noticed when Harry ordered the full breakfast instead of a bagel.”

“We really need to work on your negotiation skills.”  MJ sighed into the phone.  “You do know I’m going to be busy networking the whole night, right?”

“Yeah of course.”

“That means I can’t be your human shield.”

“Psh, I don’t need a-“

“Just invite Johnny, Pete.  You’ll get a new, more willing to sleep with you human shield for the night and it’ll piss Harry off.  Win-win.”

“I don’t want to piss Harry off.”  Peter said pointedly ignoring the 'more willing to sleep with you' part.  He did not need to be thinking about Johnny right now and he really didn't need to be thinking about Johnny in association with sex at this very moment. 

“Oh I do," it took Peter a moment to force himself out of his thoughts and figure out MJ was talking about pissing off Harry and not about associating Johnny with sex.  "And you owe me for not telling May I cleaned her floors for you so you could avoid your new boyfriend who she adores.”

“I thought I got you back for that one already.”

“Oh Tiger, blackmail doesn’t get paid off.”  MJ said smirk clear in her voice.  “Can’t wait to see you and Johnny, make sure you tell Harry!” 

_____________________

Peter stared at his phone as it sat on the table.  He’d debated asking Aunt May to come with him, it had been a while since they’d gone somewhere together.  But last time he’d taken Aunt May to one of Norman Osborn’s parties, which I was now clear that this was definitely a Norman party and not a Harry party, she’d found friends and left Peter alone.  Aunt May had many wonderful qualities but she was a terrible wing-man. 

Soon after MJ’s phone call Peter had been surprised to have Jameson call him demanding that Peter attend and that Jameson himself would be there to keep any nosey journalists away from Peter.  Peter had taken that to mean protecting him from getting pilfered by other papers, he was the only person who got photos of Spider-Man.  That was, until Peter remembered he was dating Johnny Storm.  Actually dating Johnny Storm, not fake media-is-convinced-we’re-dating dating Johnny Storm. 

He stared at his phone with a new level of panic.  If Peter called Johnny, Johnny would say yes.  Peter would have a human shield, he’d have someone to hang out with all night and maybe he wouldn’t have to live through the nightmare of JJJ being his human shield.  However, if Peter brought Johnny, who had recently come out as pansexual, and who he had been the subject of previous rumours with he probably wouldn’t be able to play it off as ‘this is my buddy Johnny Storm’.  Not to mention he was pretty sure now that they were actually dating Johnny wouldn’t be thrilled with Peter pretending they were just friends, even if he would go along with it. 

“What’s wrong Peter?”  Aunt May said putting a cup of tea down in front of him. 

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid.”

“If it’s making you this upset that means it’s not stupid to you.”  Aunt May said as she sat down in the chair opposite him.  “I know Ben was always better at talking about problems then I am, but I’d really like to try Peter.  Even though it’s just us we have to try.” 

“I miss him.”  Peter said softly.  Aunt May nodded understandingly.  “The world seems to keep moving on and I don’t get it.  MJ has drama, Harry has drama, Gwen’s busy, and Johnny…I hardly know Johnny.”

“Now Peter that’s not true.  I’ve met a lot of your friends and more-than-friends-”

“It’s not like the list is very long Aunt May.”  Peter cut in.

“Oh shush.  I’m trying to tell you something important.  Plus we can’t all be a catch like me.”  Aunt May said with a grin.

“Aunt May!”  Peter groaned feeling scandalized. 

“You walked into that one Peter.”  Aunt May grinned as Peter chucked.  “Peter if you stopped and got outside of that head of yours every once in a while you would see that people love you far more than you ever imagined they could.” 

“Is this where you give me the usual ‘Johnny’s a nice boy Peter’ warning?”

“I don’t think you would be this worried if you hadn’t given yourself that warning already.  So, as you kids say, what’s up?”

“I told Harry I would go to this party, and I kind of want to bring Johnny.”  Peter said.  He couldn’t help but feel this was the most typical teenager conversation they’d had in a while. 

“But?”

“It’s a press party and if I bring Johnny then it’s a thing.”  Peter said not looking at Aunt May. 

“Don’t people normally want other people to know about their relationships?” 

“Yes.  And I mean I do, it’s just- It’s just a lot.  I mean I would be literally telling the world.  Unless I ask Johnny to just go as friends an not tell anyone but I don’t want to do that to him.”

“There’s nothing wrong with not being ready to tell the whole world Peter.”

“But he should be with someone who is.”

“Well I think that’s something you have to ask Johnny, not decide yourself.”  Peter didn’t say anything.  “Do you want him to be there.”

“Yes.”

“And do you care if people know.”

“Not really…it’s just…everyone is a lot.”  Peter said running his hand through his hair. 

“Why is everyone a lot Peter?”

“Because then when I mess this up everyone will know about it.  I'll embarrass him May.”  Peter said softly as played with his sweater. 

“So you’re really worried telling people about Johnny, you’re worried about Johnny.”  Peter made a face.  “Peter, I love you but you really need to stop thinking you ruin everyones lives.  It’s a little insulting honestly, I like to think I ruin my own just fine.  You make my life and made Ben’s 10 000 times better just by being in them.”

“Aunt May-“

“Besides,"  Aunt May interrupted as she stood up and straightened her clothes.  "I honestly think you should be more worried about the press figuring out you’re Spider-Man than gossip rags talking about how Peter Parker is dating Johnny Storm.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.  Wait, what?”  Peter said as Aunt May’s words sunk in.  He froze.  Aunt May grinned and ruffled his hair. 

“Have fun at your party Peter, I’m going to play cribbage with the girls.  Make sure to text me if you stay somewhere else overnight.  Don’t forget to lock the door!”  Aunt May called leaving her shell shocked nephew on the couch. 

__________________________________

Peter gathered himself together, which was incredibly difficult after the bomb Aunt May had just dropped on him.  He tried to keep himself from panicking by focusing on the more immediate crisis.  No doubt Aunt May would want to revisit the whole crime fighting nephew thing in a few days. 

“Focus Peter Focus.”  He said to himself while pacing.  He wasn’t sure when he had started that.  Looking around he noticed he was pacing on the ceiling.  He wasn’t sure when that had happened either.  His panic instincts were honestly the worst.  If it wasn’t for his Spider-Sense he was pretty sure he would be dead by now. 

“Alright so you’re probably going to single handedly give your aunt either a heart attack or an aneurysm, that’s a problem for tomorrow.  Also not new news, people have been telling you you’re giving them aneurysms for the last 5 years of your life, that’s way before the bite.  Okay Peter, deep breaths.”  Peter took a few deep breaths with his eyes closed and then shot out his web shooter to grab the phone.  He was feeling more confident by being on the ceiling, so he was going to stay there. 

“Hey Pete what’s up?”  Harry said answering the phone.

“MJ said she’ll come.”

“Awesome, is she coming over with you or-“

“Actually I was wondering if I could bring someone?” 

“Oh yeah of course you can bring Gwen.  It would be pretty boring if you didn’t have someone with you, I’m going to be busy and MJ’s probably already setting out her battle plan for networking.”  Peter wanted to punch himself in the face.  He could have brought Gwen, that would have solved so many of his problems.  Why didn’t he think of that?

“It’s not Gwen.”  Peter said closing his eyes and pinching his nose as if that would somehow make this easier.

“Oh okay, who is it? I’ll write it down, I mean I assume they’re coming with you so I can just write plus one but just in case.”

“Jonathan Storm.”

“Okay, Johnathan Storm.  Wait, as in Johnny Storm…Pete.”

“He’s nice, okay!”

“Pete.”  Harry cut in sounding more than a little bit like a MJ when she found a new piece of dirt on someone. 

“And he’s really good with schmoozing which you know I’m not, and somehow Jameson got himself invited and I can’t deal with Jameson all night making sure no other papers offer me a better deal for my photos Harry I can’t!”

“I didn’t know you wanted to leave the bugle.”

“Are you kidding me?  Jameson actually does pay the best and he doesn’t sell out sources.  Like yeah he’s got his faults but I think his dad has a crush on Aunt May and it’s probably too soon but I don’t want to ruin that for her.”

“What?  I missed like all of that.  What are you talking about.”

“I don’t even know.”  There was silence for a while.

“So…Johnny Storm.”

“I’m having a day can we not talk about this right now.”  Peter groaned as he flopped onto the couch.

“I didn’t know you were into pretty-boy’s Pete.  I always figured you were a brains before beauty kind of guy.”

“Oh my goodness, I’m going to hang up on you.”

“But I’m not done teasing you.  Are you getting ready at his instead?  Did Sue buy you a suit?”

“You’re the worst and I am under appreciated.”

“Does he have you take photo’s of him shirtless?”

“You and MJ deserve each other!”  Peter groaned as he hung up on Harry.  His phone beeped with a text.  Peter glanced down at it and sighed texting back a confirmation that no he would not need to go to Harry’s any more to get ready but he probably did still need the suit Harry picked out.  Peter typed up a text to Johnny and turned the TV on while he waited for a response.

Chapter Text

Peter almost choked on a popcorn kernel as he was startled by his phone ringing.  “Hello?”

“Peter are you okay?”  He heard Johnny ask sounding panicked through the phone.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?”  Peter couldn’t help but think of the goop a giant crustacean that was terrifying Coney Island had spat at him.  It had been very unimpressed with his crab related jokes and retaliated with yet another unknown substance.  He was pretty sure he was fine though.  He already had radioactive spider related powers, he tended not to worry about others probably radioactive goop.  “Is something attacking New York, or the planet?  Please tell me it’s attacking Midtown High, I don’t have my homework done for Monday.”

“As far as I know your high school is still standing,”  Peter could hear Johnny rolling his eyes sounding much less panicked than when their conversation had started.  “I’m talking about the text you sent that just said ‘Help - please call.’”

“Huh, you know now that I’ve heard someone read that back to me that’s maybe not the best choice of words.”  Peter tossed another popcorn kernel up in the air and caught it in his mouth.  He was totally going to save that skill for a ’superhero’s, they’re just like us’ segment that he would totally get when someone finally let him join the Avengers. 

“Oh my god.  So you’re okay?”  Peter didn’t respond too busy trying to catch another popcorn kernel without leaving the couch.  He’d been doing great before Johnny called but he now had a growing pile of popcorn on the floor behind him.  “Peter, are you even listening to me?” 

“Okay’s really a relative term.”  Peter said as he thought back to the mild panic attack Aunt May had caused him.  He’d calmed down a lot, but every time he calmed down he started thinking about having to go to Norman Osborn’s fancy press party or Johnny.

“Peter.”

“Yes, I am what most people would refer to as fine.”  Peter said putting the popcorn bowl on the table lazily not getting up from the couch.  “The most dangerous thing that’s happened today is I almost choked on a popcorn kernel.”  Peter left it unsaid that he was pretty sure Aunt May almost gave him a heart attack.  He did legitimately mostly stay inside today though.  As far as physical risk went he was pretty low on the scale today.  If anything happened it would be from a previous injury, like one of his fractured ribs breaking unexpectedly and puncturing a lung. 

“That is actually a surprisingly common ailment that can cause extreme duress.”  Peter heard Reed Richards say slightly further away from the speaker.

“Dr. Richards?”  Peter said with a cough as he shot up on the couch choking on his own spit.  He had to remind himself Dr. Richards probably did not know he was talking to the man who’s pride and morals he had questioned and crushed only a day prior.

“Hello Peter.”  Reed responded cheerily.

“Sorry, I kind of panicked and was having Reed locate you. What?  I thought you were dying or something!  For future reference maybe don’t send your boyfriend who fights super villains and criminals a please help message for things that aren’t emergencies.”  Peter rolled his eyes.  It’s not like super villains were that hard to battle. 

“He’s at home if you were wondering.”  Reed called out.  Johnny sighed.  “What?  I’d already done most of the work I figured I should verify it.” 

“Thanks Reed.”  Johnny said sounding less than thankful.  Peter heard rustling as Johnny switched the phone off of speaker and started walking out of the lab.  “Sorry about that.  So what non-emergency do you need help with from your boyfriend who totally did not track your location via your cellphone?  Only a desperate creep would do that!”  He heard Johnny shout away from the phone and could sort of make out Reed chuckling in the background.

“Harry want’s me to come to Oscorp’s press party thing tonight.”  Peter said chewing his lip.

“And you need an out? Or an outfit?  Or me to get you out of an outfit?”  Johnny chuckled.  Peter didn’t say anything.  “Wow someone’s a Mr. Grumpy-Grumperson today.  Honestly it could be any of them.  If you are going you definitely need an outfit, please don’t wear anything from your closet.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?  You don’t have to, there will be a lot of press there which is usually an upside for you but I’m also there so I can see how that’s less of an upside and we don’t even have to make it a date thing or anything, I just thought it might be nice to not have to be babysat by Jameson and-“

“Whoa Pete slow down.  So it was that you want me to get you out of an outfit.”

“I get it I’ll ask - wait, what?”  Peter asked not quite sure what Johnny had just said.

“Chill Pete, I’m saying I’ll go with you.”

“Oh, great.”  Peter relaxed against the couch.  Well that sorted one of his problems.  And probably created seventeen other new problems but he wasn’t going to focus on that right now. 

“Wait, who’s your back up booty call?”  Johnny asked his curiosity clear, he sounded almost teasing. 

“Gwen?”  Peter said sounding unsure to his own ears.  He winced.  It sounded like he didn’t even know Gwen’s name.  He was pretty sure Johnny had been expecting him to say Aunt May and hadn’t really told Johnny anything about Gwen yet.

“Hmm…lab partner Gwen?” 

“Well, yes.”  Peter said not knowing why he felt a bit like he was being caught in a lie.  He just hadn’t had the chance to introduce Gwen and Johnny yet.  To be honest he hadn’t seen much of Gwen in the last few months outside of class.  Almost getting killed was taking up a lot of his free time.

“And?”  Johnny prompted sounding just as bored as before.  Peter guessed feigning disinterest was a tactic he used for getting information out of Reed and Sue.  He could see it possibly working on Reed but he wasn’t sure if it would work on Sue.

“Does it matter?”  Peter sighed.  Johnny didn’t say anything.  “And best-friend slash ex-girlfriend Gwen?”

“Why are you stating everything like a question?”

“Why do you keep asking questions?”  Peter responded a little to sharply.  “Sorry, I’ve just…I’ve had a day.”

“Eating popcorn?”

“I did more than just eat popcorn today.”  Peter jested but didn’t elaborate on what else he had done.

“What a waste of a potentially perfect day then.  So Oscorp party?”  Johnny said Oscorp as if it was gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe.  Peter couldn’t blame him, if it wasn’t for Harry and Gwen’s internship he would probably feel the same way about Oscorp.

“You honestly don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?”  Johnny sounded genuinely confused.  “Do you mind?”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I did.”  Peter paused chewing his lip again while he thought of what to say next.  “Harry lives closer to you.  Do you want to meet at yours and then head over?  Or I can wait for you at the party?”

“Nah don’t wait at Harry’s, that’ll be awful.  Trust me you spend the whole time worrying your date is going to bail on you.  And then they do, bail that is, and you find out they had a secret fiancee from another planet they didn’t tell you about.”

“Umm…okay?  Well to the best of my knowledge I don’t have a secret fiancee from an alien planet, do you?”  Peter said unsure where this conversation was going.  Trust Johnny to take Peter’s carefully chosen words and respond to them with a tale about secret alien fiancees. 

“I mean probably but not willingly.  Meeting at Baxter is fine with me.  Plus I’m sure Sue will want to take pictures.  It’s suit and tie right?”

“Yep fancy suit and tie.  Harry told me nothing I have is fancy suit and tie so he rented me a suit.”

“Awe, I’m going to miss making fun of your clothes then.  Next time we hang out I guess?”

“I’ll make sure to wear the most terrible shirt I own to make up for tonight, scouts honour.”  Peter smiled as he heard Johnny laugh through the phone. “So you’re not too busy or anything?”

“Nah everything seems to be pretty quiet or at a standstill right now.  We had a meeting with Spider-Man this morning but other than that pretty much nada.”

“Oh.”  Peter said trying not to sound too interested about Johnny’s view of the meeting.  He was a little bitter still, okay a lot bitter, but more than that he wanted to know the Four’s motivation behind kicking him off of the case.

“Oh - you know about this meeting or oh - he hasn’t told you anything yet?” 

“I haven’t heard anything.”  Peter lied.  He hoped Johnny couldn’t tell through the phone.  There was a reason he quipped so often, he was a terrible liar.  It was easier if everyone wished he would stop talking instead of trying to get him to talk.  “Ah well if he does tell you please don’t get too mad at me.  Reed had called an emergency meeting after he and Sue got back from a mission and said they needed Spider-Man to stay out of the bug thing and I needed to back them up.  It was’t actually a mission, they just kind of stumbled upon something and came back kind of panicked.  At least I think they did.  Kind of panicked is sort of their natural state.” 

“Ah.”  Peter said as his head started to spin a bit.  “I’m guessing he didn’t take it well.”

“I mean, Reed’s a genius but to be honest he’s kind of terrible with teens…and maybe people in general.  Sue’s a bit too motherly sometimes to see how people are actually going to act.  They told him it was too big a game for him and he did what pretty much any teenage would do, get mad, leave, and probably put themselves in an even more dangerous situation, alone.”  Johnny sighed over the phone.  “Hey I know I’m not super tight with Spidey, especially right now, but could you tell him that if he’s in deep shit he can call?”

“Ah not worried he’s going to steal my heart any more?”  Peter teased feeling slightly touched by Johnny’s concern.

“I’m serious Pete, he needs to know there’s someone he can call.”

“Spider-Man doesn’t have a phone.”  Peter answered rolling his eyes. 

“He doesn’t…I honestly don’t understand how either of you are alive right now.  No phones, constantly getting attacked by things - do you and Aunt May want to move the the Baxter building?  We have room.”

“What?  No.  Also how is the HQ of the F4 safer than an nondescript suburban house in Queens?”  Peter heard Johnny sigh on the other side of the line.

“Fine, Fine.  I mean I think you’re wrong but I’ll drop it.”  Peter played with his sock as they both stayed quiet for a moment.  “So you’re sure?”  He heard Johnny ask and knew he had switched back to talking about the Oscorp party.

“I told you, I’ve thought about this.”

“People are going to assume we’re dating.  Especially because of all the past press.  Do you want me to tell them something else?”

“Do you want to tell them something else?”  Peter asked growing tired of how careful Johnny was being.  So maybe he’d panicked every step of their relationship so far, that didn’t mean he was going to keep panicking all the time.  Besides, he’d been the one to take a step forward this time.  Well, more accurately Johnny was like thirty-four steps ahead and Peter finally took one forward but it was still his choice.

“I’m serious Pete.  Things will change if we verify it.  Like, I’m sure the press will calm down pretty quickly but they’re all going to want to know who you are.”  Johnny said seriously. 

“You’re not that big a deal Torch.”  Peter said in jest fully knowing that Johnny was kind of a big deal.  His face was everywhere, and Johnny liked it that way.  It was one of the many things they weren’t fully on the same page about. 

“I’m saying it could put you in danger.”

“We live in New York, I’m alway in danger.  Besides I already got held up but a bunch of people when we weren’t dating because of a Buzzfeed article so I’m pretty sure it doesn’t get more extreme then that.”  Johnny stayed eerily quiet on the other side of the phone.  “Oh my goodness Johnny, that was not your fault and I was fine.  I can take care of myself.  Besides if the press get bad I’ll just call in some favours from MJ and Gwen.”

“Ex-girlfriend Gwen?”

“Oh my - her dad’s Captain Stacey.  He likes me…I think.  Okay, he likes Gwen and he’d definitely help me for Gwen if she asked.  I mean I’d rather save that favour for this substance I need for an experiment that may be a tad bit illegal but I’m pretty sure my calculation will create an unstable substance anyways so I can shelve that for a while.  I feel like you’re usually the chatty one, you’re being super quiet.”

“I’m the chatty one?  I’m pretty sure you could talk someone to death.”

“Rude.”  Peter took a deep breath.  “Look Johnny, I’m good.  Like, I’m super great at taking care of myself, I’m not worried about this.”

“You just told me you almost died by choking on a popcorn kernel.”  Johnny said sounding unconvinced.  Peter couldn’t really blame him, Peter did have a terrible track record of taking care of himself.  Maybe he should have settled for saying he was decent at taking care of himself.

“And that’s going to happen regardless of if the media knows about us or not.  You could break up with me and I’ll still die by a popcorn kernel.  Besides like, honestly I don’t think they’ll care. I’m not that hot.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Sure that I’m not that hot?  Yeah pretty sure, it’s basically the number one thing I’m reminded of at school.  Stop taking this so seriously, you’re supposed to be the irresponsible one.”

“Even with my history something tells me I’m not going to be the irresponsible one.”  He heard Johnny mutter.  Peter decided to pretend he hadn’t heard Johnny say that.  Frankly, he was insulted.  He was super responsible and careful.  “Alright, but at any point if you want to change plans just let me know.” 

“Sure, sure.  Same thing, feel free to back out anytime.”

“I’m not backing out Peter.”

“Oh so this is a competition now.  Wow, I’m going to make you look so bad.  You’ll wish you never fell in love instantly with my admittedly beautiful face.”   

“Sure.”

“No really, I’m super embarrassing.  Ask literally anyone.  Flash would be like yeah I punched him and then felt embarrassed when he fell over so quickly.”  Peter was still struggling with figuring out how to fake still being a wimp.  He was usually pretty good at dodging hits but hadn’t see a way out of that fight and might have thrown himself backwards a little too dramatically.

“You got punched?  Who punched you?  It can’t be some dude named Flash, right?  That’s not a real name.”  Technically a lot of people had punched Spider-Man since he started seeing Johnny.  Peter was pretty sure he could remember Johnny trying to beat him up as Spider-Man at some point in their history.

“Cool see you later!  Bye!”  Peter could hear Johnny try to talk still but Peter hung up.  He really did not trust his ability to not accidentally say something stupid today.  At least something stupider than what he would usually say.  Peter groaned and threw himself flat against the couch, he was regretting his plan slightly.  Maybe he should have asked Flash to go with him, even that would have been a better idea.  Peter scratched his head and sighed. 

____________________

Peter stood in the elevator of the Baxter building holding the suit Harry had sent over.  He missed the casual confidence that came to him when he was wearing his mask.  Whenever he walked into the lobby of the Baxter building or by the concierge couldn’t help but feel out of place.  Peter didn’t think fancy buildings would ever feel like his world.  His area in Queens kept getting dumpier and dumpier by comparison.  Peter wasn’t sure how anyone found crime other than white collar crime around here.

The elevator beeped signalling its arrival on the appropriate floor.  The door slid open and Peter glanced out the elevator feeling slightly nervous.  Peter Parker hadn’t been here since he ran out on breakfast and the last time Spider-Man was here he’d managed to get into a fight with the Fantastic Four.  He felt incredibly relieved when Johnny was waiting outside the elevator. 

“Hey-oh.  Whazzup.  Hi.  Greetings.  Hello.”  Peter rambled as he stepped out of the elevator.

“Pete, you can stop.”  Johnny said looking like he was holding back laughter.

“Oh thank goodness. Sorry, I’m just…I hate that you have a doorman.”  Peter sighed feeling exhausted already.  He’d never fantasized about the high life like so many of his classmates did.  Everything about the wealthy elite of New York made him feel uncomfortable.  He was pretty sure he made everything about it feel uncomfortable as well, if that was possible.

“We don’t have a doorman, the building has a doorman.”

“You guys own the building.”  Peter deadpanned not buying Johnny’s excuses.  He had come to realize quite a while ago that rich people tended to have no idea how rich they actually were.

“It’s a technicality.”

“I hate rich people.”  Peter muttered as Johnny laughed him off easily.  “Why’d you text me to come over three hours early?  It takes like 15 minutes to get changed.”

“Why are you like this?”  Johnny stared at Peter looking the closest to disappointed Peter had ever seen him. 

“What?”

“15 minutes?  15 minutes?  I mean I’m honoured that you think my beauty is that effortless but getting ready for a party takes at least 2 hours.”  Johnny said as he guided them towards Johnny’s room.

“What?  Why?”  Peter felt genuinely confused.  It had never taken him longer than a half an hour to get ready for something.  Even then it had only been because he spilt his dinner on the shirt he had been planning to wear.

“Oh my…just trust me on this one.”

“Where is everyone?”  The entire common area seemed empty.  It was like no one was on the Four’s floor.  Granted Reed was probably in the lab but that didn’t really explain where Sue or Ben were.

“You seemed uncomfortable so I convinced them to give us some space.  I mean Sue’s still totally going to make us take prom style pictures because she’s a monster, but other than that I think they’ll stay our of our way.  Unless you became texting buddies with Reed and ask him something about science.”

“Actually now that you mention it I had some questions about the equations he showed me last time.  I was trying to modify them to apply them to this other project but I’m a bit worried about-“

“No.  No science.”  Johnny said covering Peter’s mouth looking exasperated.  Peter frowned.  He hadn’t been teasing Johnny that time.  He genuinely had questions for Reed.  “Fashion, tonight is about fashion.”

“Okay but I just-“  Peter started glancing back to the elevator that would take him to the lab where Reed was.

“No.  Nope.  No.  If you wanna talk science you can crash here and talk to Reed tomorrow.  Otherwise I’m inviting Aunt May over and she can take embarrassing photos of us just like Sue.”

“NO!”  Peter cleared his throat as Johnny shot him a weird look.  Peter wasn’t quite ready for witnessing Aunt May teasing him to his face again.  He was sure she would take the opportunity to casually drop spider puns or something.  Puns were a family trait after all.  “I mean, umm…I don’t need to style my hair right?” 

“You eat dinner yet?”  Johnny said deciding to help Peter out and change the topic.  “We have pizza.”

“Awesome.  Sorry I’m just-“  Peter said running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Pete, it’s okay that your nervous.  I’m nervous.  We could do like a soft release if you want.”  Johnny said calmly as he walked towards the kitchen.

“What?”  Peter said choking in surprise.  Johnny laughed and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not a sex thing.  I mean like post an Instagram or a snap or something.”

“Oh…I don’t have Instagram.  I mean the fantastiphone is the first non-flip phone I’ve had.  I kind of miss my drug dealer phone.  It made the cops stop me every once in a while, now they just ask if I’m lost.”  To be honest that was actually a nice upside of the fantastiphone.  He used to have to worry a lot more about someone searching his bag and finding his suit.  After a close call he’d worn it under his clothes for a while but that had it’s own downside.  Like having to worry about it peaking out all the time, he wondered if that was how girls felt like about bra straps. 

“So Twitter, Snapchat and Vine are out too?  I guess I could share it on my facebook page, that’s so old school though.”  Johnny said mostly to himself already planning their social media strategy. 

“I don’t have facebook.”  Peter said plainly.  Johnny stopped and stared at him.  Peter didn’t think he’d ever seen Johnny look so frustrated.

“How are you alive?  What about group projects?”

“Well I mean if I can I work with Gwen and if I don’t then I’m usually stuck with the whole thing anyways.  Oh I have whatsapp.  It’s like free texting, I love that one.”  Johnny quipped his eyebrow at that.  He slouched against the kitchen counter pushing the pizza box towards Peter.

“You don’t work with Harry?”  He asked.

“Unfortunately Harry also falls into the I usually do the whole thing anyways group.”  Peter said as he rolled a slice onto another and layered another on top of that so he could eat three slices at a time.  Johnny watched in horror.  Peter winked as he took a bite.  “Just wanted to make sure you knew what you were thinking about going public with.”

“The love is dead.”

“It’s all downhill from here, sorry.”  Peter said with his mouth full as he shrugged.  “You got any other terrible traits I should know about?  You know, other than your general personality?”  Peter gulped the pizza down and took another bite. 

“I have never found you less attractive.”  Johnny said grabbing his own singular slice. 

“You wound me, Crackling Log.” 

“Crackling log?  Really, Pete?  Hmmm…I’m easily attracted to cute idiots.”

“Rude.” 

“Handsome idiots?”

“You’re gross.  Stop it or I’m going to start calling you something terrible, like sugar bum.” 

“We’re in the kitchen Pete stop trying to turn me on.”  Peter rolled his eyes and continued to eat.  “I can’t believe you don’t have Instagram.  You’re a photographer.”

“It’s me verses CCTV, I can’t let Instagram join the game too.  Plus it’s a mobile app, I’ve had a phone that can have apps for like 2 months or something now?”

“Have you downloaded any apps?”

“Hmm?  MJ downloaded the Bugle app onto my phone.  But I mean they gave me a work phone I sign out from the office when I started and that’s logged into like the Bugle’s snapchat and everything.  I’m supposed to update it but I’m not really sure how I would feel about using the Bugle’s accounts as a soft release platform.”

“So you know how to use them then?  We can always not do anything and wait to see if people notice and if they do then we deal with it then.”

“Deal with it by?”

“How all celebrity problems are solved.  With an excellent selfie.”  Peter laughed.  “There he is.  Well now that you’re feeling better we should get started.”

“Can I take the pizza with me.”

“You can’t get pizza grease on the suits.”

“I’ll do my best, scouts honour.”

“Fine.”  Johnny sighed.  “But Pete, you do have to style your hair.”

_____________________

“I hate this.”  Peter said as he fidgeted with the cuffs.  “I don’t get it why don’t they put buttons in the shirt, that makes no sense.”

“For the seventeenth time, stop fidgeting you look great.”  Johnny sighed as they neared the hotel where the Oscorp party was.

“If a shirt costs over 50 dollars it should have buttons, that’s all I’m saying.”  Peter mumbled as he fiddled with the cufflinks Johnny had lent him. 

“Seriously you’re going to loose them if you keep fiddling with them.  They’ll stay put.”

“That’s what you say.  I feel like I’m going undercover for something.”  Peter pulled at the collar of his shirt.  He’d tried to ditch the bowtie Harry had included with the suit but Johnny had told him to wear it. 

“That’s probably because the parties for Oscorp.  Well 007, guess that makes me your bond girl.”  Johnny smirked.  Peter didn’t say anything back.  Johnny sighed.  “Alright we’re almost there anything else you need before we go in?”

“If I die can you tell Aunt May I love her?”  Johnny rolled his eyes and pulled Peter along towards the entrance of the hotel.  The Lobby matched any Oscorp event Harry had ever told him about as everything seemed to be dripping with opulence.  Peter dreaded to see how the main room could possibly be more over the top.  He already felt uncomfortable and wondered for the hundredth time that day why he was here. 

“Walking in is the hardest part.  After that we can say hi to MJ or Harry if we see them and then just chill by the snack table for like an hour and then leave.”  Johnny whispered in his ear as they walked towards the entrance where a man waited with a list of names. 

“I probably have to say hi to Jameson too.  Unless he doesn’t see me.  Dang, I should have brought Sue with me.  Do you think she would have let me stay invisible for the whole thing?”  Johnny just chucked and shook his head.  “Peter Parker,” Peter said turning to the man checking to make sure no one snuck in.  “I’m not sure if it’ll say plus one or Jonathan Storm.” 

“It say’s Peter Parker coma his boyfriend the Human Toot.”  The man responded sounding bored.

“Real mature Harry.”  Peter muttered under his breath.  “Yep that’s him.  His Tootiness, in all his glory.  My boyfriend, love of my…well, last week or two”  The man looked at them briefly and then waved them in. 

“Wow so inconspicuous, I don’t know why Reed hasn’t asked you to run the Four’s undercover missions already.”  Johnny gently guided Peter towards the snack table sensing how out of place he felt.  Peter hated everything about high school parties, he’d been at this party for one minute and it already promised to be ten thousand times worse.  “Also only last two weeks, I’m hurt.”

“What as if it’s been longer for you.”

“Pretty sure it has.”

“Oh.”  Peter cleared his throat awkwardly.  “Well I don’t think anyones noticed so that’s…nice.  I mean it kind of makes me feel like I worried for nothing.  I mean I probably could have worn one of my suits.”

“No.”  Peter heard someone say beside him.  Peter smiled and waved at Harry.  “You just have that one suit you wore to the school dance with Gwen right?  That green tweed monstrosity?”

“Hey, Aunt May helped me pick that out at goodwill.  It was great Johnny don’t listen to him.”  Johnny decided to not comment on Peter saying his own suit would have been fine but Peter could feel his doubt.  “Also, the Human Toot?  Really Harry?” 

“Yeah, yeah.  Well if you didn’t want me to make fun of you then you should have given me a few days in advance to get it out of my system.  Have you seen MJ?”  Harry asked as he glanced around the room.

“I just got here man.” 

“Yeah and I figured she was going to bug you right away.”  Harry said slight annoyance evident in his voice that he’d been wrong about that.

“MJ loves journalism.  She can make fun of me any day, she’s probably talking to her journalistic heroes right now or something.”  Peter said lightly trying to distract Harry from what would undoubtably become a spiral of childish anger.

“That is a good point, you do leave a lot of openings to be made fun of.”  Peter rolled his eyes and ignored Harry.  “So Mr. Storm, how did you meet my best friend Peter?”  Peter groaned.  At least his distract Harry plan had worked, even if it was at his own expense.

“Harry-“

“It’s fine Pete.  We met at one of my photoshoots the Bugle had been invited too, he got attacked by a giant moth.”  Johnny said with a smile plastered on is face as he wrapped his arm around Peter’s waist.

“I’d forgotten about those things.  The average New Yorker has to deal with the strangest things.  So why Peter?  I’m sure you and your family think you could do better.”

“I’m pretty sure me and my family know that Peter better than anyone we ever thought I would go out with.”  Johnny responded stiffly.

“Awe look at that sweet talking.”  Peter said thumping Johnny on the back.  “Oh look tiny food morsels.  Thank you.”  Peter said as he grabbed a plate full of tiny bacon wrapped scallops form a waitress. 

“I’ve never thought I was better than Peter.”  Johnny said continuing much to Peter’s dismay.  It wasn’t that he disliked it but, his relationship with Harry was complicated.  He was at least 80 percent sure Harry was just trying to push Johnny’s buttons.  “That’s at least one mistake I’ve never made that some of his other friends seem to have made.”  Johnny and Harry glared at each other.

“There you are Peter!”  Peter looked over and saw MJ approaching them.  She looked beautiful, and he’d never been happier to see her.  MJ smiled at Johnny and Harry while linking her arm with Peter’s.  “Jameson’s been looking for you for the last 10 minutes.  The children will be fine here. I’ll bring him right back.”  MJ said with a charming smile dragging Peter away forcefully. 

“Wait MJ-“

“What did you want to stay there while Harry tries his embarrassing stay away from my best friend charade?”  She asked as she continued walking knowing full well that Peter’s answer would be no.

“I mean no but-“

“Relax.  Johnny basically lives at these things.  He’ll be fine for 15 minutes or so, it’s not like we’re leaving you alone at a party.  Now that would actually be something to worry about.”  MJ laughed at the end as Peter sighed and prepared himself for what would hopefully only be twenty minutes of social awkwardness.

________________________________

It turned out Johnny was perfectly fine.  He was more then perfectly fine, he seemed to thrive in this environment while Peter was floundering even with MJ to cover for him.  He kept glancing over to where Johnny was while MJ pinched him and echoed fake laughter to try to force him to pay attention to the conversation he was supposed to be taking part in.  She had said 15 minutes but felt like it had been hours. He had risked a glance at his watch once trying to hide it behind a cough which told him he’d been stuck in this conversation for at least 50 minutes. 

Preparing to be casually elbowed or something this time, Peter glanced back towards Johnny again who was laughing heartily and smiling with a group of almost ten people, none of whom Peter knew or recognized.  Not that, that was saying much.  Peter had a good memory, but he had a lot going on right now and memorizing the elite of New York Journalism was not high on his priority list.  Besides, Spider-Man had Jameson and he was starting to feel like they had something special going on.  Listening to other journalists would almost be like a betrayal.

“Ouch.”  Peter said involuntarily as MJ elbowed him hitting him in his side where he had bruises from his last outing as Spider-Man.  Peter was starting to wonder if MJ was in on the Spider-Man thing.  He wouldn’t be surprised considering how often she hit his injuries.  “Sorry were you saying something?”  He tried as he turned away from observing Johnny and looked at MJ impatiently.

“I don’t know why I bother sometimes.”  MJ muttered.  “They asked you about what it was like to photograph fugitives.”

“Well I mean, the Rhino’s in prison for now so I don’t know if we can really call him a fugitive.  I guess there are a few who are out right now, electro - he’s pretty hard to photograph-“  Peter was about to go on a rant about how camera’s capture light and why electro was so difficult to photograph when MJ interrupted him.

“They mean Spider-Man, Parker”  She said through gritted teeth.

“Spider-Man Parker?  Is that my new photographer name?”  MJ looked ready to punch Peter in the face.  “Spider-Man’s not a fugitive though.”  Peter said plainly causing the background chatter in their discussion circle to fall silent.  Jameson’s face seemed to be getting visibly redder at the moment.  He was pretty sure he could see Harry observe what was going on and trying to withhold his laughter.  Peter wasn’t sure if Harry was laughing at MJ’s obvious misery or Peter’s inability to not be a walking faux pas.

“Man you’re so picky with words Pete.”  Johnny said slinging his arm around Peter and casually entering the now silent circle.  “We’ve been having this debate for weeks.  I said Spider-Man’s a fugitive but then Pete was all like no you have to be arrested to be a fugitive and he hasn’t actually been captured so he’s just on the lam since he’s never been officially arrested.  Such a nitpicker this one.”  Johnny said laughing.

“Johnny, what are you doing.”  Peter whispered as the circle laughed tension dissolving as they all became more interested in the fact that the Human Torch had just casually joined their circle.

“Keeping you from getting fired.”  Johnny whispered back never breaking his smile or air of fake laughter.  Peter officially hated this world. 

“Do you photograph the Human Torch as well Mr. Parker?”  Peter heard someone ask him.  He opened his mouth to respond when Johnny started speaking. 

“I’ve been trying to get him to.  I’m at a lot of the scenes he stops by to get photo’s of Spider-Man but Peter always tells me I just don’t sell as many papers as Spider-Man and I should stick to magazines.  It breaks my heart.”  Johnny laughed along with everyone else.  Peter continued to stand there a little too stiffly feeling extremely awkward and out of place.  “I thought about getting a mask to pique your interest more but my face is really my best feature.”

“Your whole face isn’t a feature.”  Peter couldn’t stop himself from muttering.

“It is when your whole person is this good looking.”  Johnny said smiling.

“So who are you here with Mr. Storm?”  Peter heard one of the reporters in the group ask while brushing some imaginary lint off of Johnny’s suit.  Johnny opened his mouth to respond and hesitated.  There were plenty of reasons Johnny could give for being here that didn’t involve Peter.  In fact, if Peter hadn’t been so anxious and had stopped talking for one minute Johnny could have provided him with at least eight very believable excuses.

“Me.  He’s here with me.”  Peter said before he could think about it too much. 

“Ah, is that why you were glancing over there so often?”  One voice chimed excitedly

“Jealous already?  Ah young love!” Another said.

“I thought you looked familiar, I guess all those mystery man stories were true!  So how it it?”  They all began chattering over each other as a barrage of questions was directed Peter’s way startling him slightly.  Peter felt Johnny’s hand on his shoulder tighten slightly as he pulled him closer to him and glanced over at Johnny’s ever present fake press smile.  To be honest, Peter hated that smile. 

“That is how it is, now if you’ll excuse us I actually came here to steal my boyfriend back.  He promised to buy me dinner if I came with him and we all know I can’t be seen buying a hotdog.”  Before anyone could protest too much Johnny smiled goodbye and steered a confused Peter away from the group.  Peter could feel the groups eyes on them and felt like he could hear them talking but Johnny soon steered them into the crowd and then to the exit.  “Hope you weren’t planning on staying any longer, because I don’t think I’d be able to get us another out for at least 3 more hours.”

“If I never went to an event like this again it would be too soon.”  Peter mumbled as Johnny lead them to a side exit.  Entering the ally way Peter felt more comfortable then he had all night as he breathed in the frigid garbage scented air.  He closed his eyes inhaled the familiar stench and slumped against the wall.  “I can’t believe you left me alone for 50 minutes.  I almost died.”  Peter groaned.

“You’re exaggerating you were doing great.  Until the end part, you did almost die at the end.”  Johnny said.  Peter peaked one of he eyes open and glared at Johnny who looked like he was enjoying himself far too much.  Peter sighed and closed his eyes again.

“In the future please note that I never need to be saved from giant moths but please, please do not leave me alone with socialites.”

“You realize next time will be worse, right?”  Johnny settled beside Peter against the wall.  Peter almost smiled at the heat Johnny brought with him.  Peter was totally going to start calling him the Human Space-heater.

“Wait, next time?”  Peter said opening his eyes and looking at Johnny with horror.

“Of course.”  Johnny said with a mischievous grin.  “You’re officially dating a Storm, you have to come to all of Reed’s boring functions with me now.”  Peter groaned and leaned his head against the wall in misery. 

“Is it too early to publicly break up?”

“Oh I think we can last at least a week, maybe a month if you don’t wear any of your terrible sweaters.”  Peter laughed beside Johnny. “Wanna head back to the Baxter Building?”

“Hmm…Just give me a minute.”  Peter mumbled.  “I think they literally drained my life force in there.  I don’t know why super villains bother with the evil plots, they should just throw functions.”

“Doom actually does throw some parties at the embassy if you want to come some time.  I mean I’m pretty much never invited.  It’s usually Sue if he want’s to bug Reed, or it’s Reed because I don’t know I’ll never understand why Reed thinks they could be friends again.”

“Wait so he kind of likes Sue and Reed, even though he tries to kill them all the time, but hates you even though you’re pretty much their favourite person?”

“Jealousy is a beast.  In the words of Meghan Trainor, if I was you I’d wanna be me too.” 

“Oh my goodness.”  Peter said feeling dread arise in him.

“It’s a good song Pete!”  Johnny exclaimed with a smirk.

“It’s not.”  He sighed knowing that Johnny was going to try and prove it wasn’t a bad song.

“Who’s that sexy thing I see over there-“  He started.

“Oh my goodness, this is your theme song isn’t it?”  Peter grumbled trying his best to look annoyed with Johnny.  He was pretty sure Johnny could see he was fighting back a smile by the grin on Johnny’s face.

“That’s me standing in the mirror.”

“Stop, please stop.”  Peter groaned leaning over and brushing his lips against Johnny’s, partially hoping it would shut him up. Johnny went quiet for a moment as Peter stood in front of him holding onto Johnny’s suit slightly.

“Quick question.”  Johnny whispered not backing away from Peter, his breath warm on Peter’s ear.  “Would you say you wanna be me, or that you wanna do me?”  Peter groaned and kissed Johnny again, this time more purposely but only slightly less brief. 

“I can’t believe my standards are so low.”  He whispered against Johnny’s lips.

“Awe, you say the sweetest things.”  Johnny said pecking another kiss against Peter’s lips. 

Chapter Text

Peter woke up on the floor to his phone ringing.   “Hello?”  He groaned into the speaker not bothering to glance at who called him first.

“Peter Parker you little slut.”  MJ’s voice rang sounding far too cheerful through the phone. 

“What?”  Peter asked in confusion as he sat up from what seemed to be concrete.  Peter rubbed his eyes and looked around, where was he? 

“Oh come off it, I saw you and Johnny making out in the alley.  I was going to go after you and force you to come back to the party but-“

“Oh my god does she know what time it is?”  Peter heard Johnny groan from what he could now tell was across the room.  Peter stretched and winced as he felt the kink in his back.  It was better than waking up in an underground parking lot which had been Peter’s first thought. 

“Why do you have concrete floors?”  Peter complained.

“Aesthetic.  Besides I’m not the one who refused to sleep on the bed even after we had an excellent make out session in, frankly, a disgusting alley.”  Johnny turned towards Peter as he lay across the bed his head propped up by his arm.  The sheets pooled around him exposing his chest.  Peter had somehow convinced him to wear boxers while he slept so he supposed he should just be happy he didn’t wake up to full unsolicited nudity.

“Oh come on I thought it was a great alley, quite clean, low rodent residency rate…three and a half stars.”

“How am I dating a prude with such low cleanliness standards.”  Johnny groaned.  With a sigh he pulled himself fully out of bed and sleepily ran his hand through his hair and walked towards his bathroom.  Peter watched him go slightly mesmerized while wondering when people his age started to get so built.  He was a basically a bean pole, even with all the superhero activities, it was just unfair.

“-Peter! Peter?  Are you even listening?”  MJ’s voice came impatiently out of the phone. “You done flirting or staring at his butt now?”

“I-I was not flirting!”  Peter stuttered indigently at the phone.  He could almost hear MJ rolling her eyes. 

“So you were staring at his butt then?”  MJ sounded like the cat who got the canary.  He decided the best course of action was to ignore her and try not to pay attention to the water he could hear running in the bathroom where Johnny might or might not be taking a shower.

“Anyways did you call me to gloat or do you need something?”  Peter muttered feeling unusually bitter towards MJ.

“You know that thing that happened in that place, like a bit ago?”  She said offhandedly as if Peter was supposed to know what she meant.  It was almost as bad as when she asked Peter to ‘pick up her coffee from that place where she always goes with the really cute umbrellas, but no sugar’.

“With those specifics I don’t know how I could forget.”  Peter shifted to try and make himself more comfortable.  With a yawn, he rubbed his eyes trying to clear the sleep from them.  He stretched slightly again still trying to make his back feel like normal again and absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair.

“Oh shove it, you know what I mean.  I was trying to be stealthy in case your overprotective boyfriend was listening.  The explosion at that abandoned warehouse where we found all those dead oversized bugs mixed in with the debris?”

“I do not have-you know what never mind.  What about it?  Revisit time?  Need a new interesting place for shooting instagram photos?”

“Well yes I do, but no that’s not why I want to go back there."

"it was like two weeks ago when all those giant…things-”  Peter stopped himself from saying giant moths trying to be slightly subtle in case Johnny was listening in.  “-were there.  Plus, It got cordoned off.”

“Smooth Parker, Smooth.  Anyways, naturally since it’s been cordoned off we should go there.  If it’s safe enough for the police then it’s safe enough for reporters.  You know what Jameson always says.”

“And when has JJJ ever steered us wrong or said something completely crazy.”  Peter drawled sarcastically trying to hold back another yawn.  He wanted coffee.  Preferably seven cups.

“Exactly, there’s the Peter Parker I forced into an internship with me.  Think you can get away this afternoon?”  MJ sounded positively ecstatic.

“Well you are always telling me to get out more.”

“This isn’t exactly what I mean but if it gets your photographic ass out there then I’ll take it.”

“That’s so sweet MJ I didn’t know you thought my butt was that photogenic.”

“I don’t even know why I bother.  2 PM don’t be late.  And I can’t make it so Gwen is going with you!”

“Probably will be…wait what?  MJ?  MJ?”  Peter called as MJ hung up on him.  “Dang it she hung up on me.”

“So why’s MJ taking pictures of your butt and do I get any of them?”  Johnny said.  Peter glanced up from the floor to at Johnny.  He had just gotten out of the shower, Peter tried not to think about it.

“If MJ actually had any pictures of my butt they would be out of focus and from when I was 5...at least I hope so.”  Peter rolled his eyes.  “Why are you grinning so much?  What time is it anyways?” 

“11:30”  Johnny walked into there room over to his walk in closet to find a shirt.  Peter continued to pretend not to be very conscious of the fact that Johnny was blatantly walking around practically naked.

“Ugh…dang I’m supposed to be there at 2.” 

“No time for a-“  Johnny started.

“Don’t”  Peter cut in sharply.

“I was going to say meal.”

“Sure.”  

“Of you.”

“I’m breaking up with you.”  Peter glared at Johnny.

“No you’re not.” Johnny grinned as he walked over to Peter and offered him a hand to help him up.

“If you set me on fire I’m breaking up with you.”  Peter said taking Johnny’s hand.  Johnny smiled at Peter fondly and helped continue the impossible task of lessening Peter's bed head by combing his fingers thorough it.

“Why would I set you on fire?  You’re already so hot.”  Peter groaned.  “Oh come on you’re just mad because you’re off your game today and I’m totally winning.” 

“At what?”

“Everything.”  A sound Peter had never heard before went off through the building.  Johnny swore and pulled a step back from Peter running his hand through his own, still slightly damp hair.  “Crap that’s the fantasti-alarm.”  Johnny started walking back across the room towards his closet muttering to himself about timing or something, Peter couldn't quite hear him.

“Shouldn’t it be called the unfantasti-alarm.  You know, since it usually means something is attacking New York.”  He walked over to Johnny's bed and sat on the edge of it, not seeing the point in standing if he wasn't even going to be able to walk to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee yet.

“It’s a Reed thing.  Will you stay here?”  Johnny said absentmindedly as grabbed his suit out from his closet and started pulling the clothes he had just put on off and his suit on.

“I have an appointment at 2, will the world be saved by 2?  New Yorkers stop for nothing Storm.” 

“Peter for once will you just-ugh I have to go.“  Johnny said as he glanced down at his watch which probably had a message from Reed on it for him to hurry up.  “Just stay here, at least until we know if it's dangerous or not?  Please?”

“I Peter Parker solemnly promise to stay here for as long as it is reasonable to ask of me in such crisis.”  Peter lifted his arm and his hand over the heart in a mock gesture of oath taking.  Johnny looked exasperated and unconvinced but decided to ignore him for now.

“Thank you.” Johnny sighed not sounding very grateful to Peter at all.

“So mainstream news let's see if you can tell me anything about what’s up.”  Peter said flicking the news on. He perched himself on a chair in Johnny’s room nursing the coffee cup he had finally convinced himself to grab from the kitchen after Johnny had left.  It had been about ten minutes and he was already bored.

“-In other news the Fantastic Four has been called on another intergalactic mission-“  A female reporter from an anchor desk said plainly.

“Well that was fast.”  Peter muttered.  “Sweet, if it’s in space then ordinary human Peter Parker can reasonably safely leave.”  Peter said flicking off the TV.  Peter whistled to himself as he got changed into normal clothes.  He stole a danish from the kitchen before taking the elevator down and walking out into an abandoned lobby.  Which was a bit strange, but it was a Saturday.  Maybe security just had Saturday’s off.  Peter heard his phone ring in his pocket. 

“Hey MJ.  What’s up, it can’t wait for like two more hours?”  He had really been hoping to stop by home for a little bit to see if Aunt May was around and make sure he wasn't grounded for all of eternity.

“You still heading to the site? You aren’t, like, locked up at Baxter?”  MJ sounded the most shocked he had ever heard her.  Frankly it was a little insulting.  It wasn't like Peter was a toddler you had to keep under constant supervision or they accidentally killed themselves.

“Why what’s up?”  He decided to ignore her jab.

“Did you not watch the news when Johnny got called out?”  MJ must have decided he simply hadn't heard the news yet.  He wasn't about to correct her and say he was there when Johnny got the call.  He'd probably have to deal with relentless teasing about kissing him goodbye or Peter asking Johnny to return safely.  Not to mention none of that was true, Johnny had just sounded exasperated while asking Peter not to get himself killed even though Johnny was the one going to space to fight aliens and Peter was remaining in, currently very safe, New York.

“Yeah some thing in space.  I was at Baxter but then I heard space so I’m in the clear.”

“How are you still alive Parker.”  MJ sighed sounding more annoyed than worried.  “Space aliens attacking New York.”

“Ahhh…I missed that part.”  The sound of an explosion filled the air.  Peter couldn’t quite figure out where it was or where it came from.  He couldn’t help but feel like this was his life getting back to normal.  “Well I think I better go, call you after?”  

“Well if you’re gonna be an idiot can you at least get pictures?”

“Your concern warms my heart.”

“Yeah well if you don’t die I think Johnny might kill you so it was nice knowing you Pete.  Also if you drag Gwen along don’t get Gwen hurt or I’ll force a slow and painful death upon you.”

“You know I think if we were in the middle ages you would be a witch.  Really the concern for me, it’s just overwhelming.  Consider me whelmed.”  Peter said as he hung up on MJ.  Part of Peter knew Johnny was probably MJ’s next call to tell him what an idiot Peter was and that someone should be sent to pick him up but another part of him knew there was never going to be a better time to covertly revisit a recently cordoned off area.  After all the aliens were trying to attack the city, they hadn’t been completely successful yet and the bomb drops were few an far between.  He was pretty sure he saw a few day traders walk around like it was nothing, granted they probably were all on cocaine but he maintained his point.  If he was headed slightly outside of the city he should be safer, not to mention the surveillance on the spot should be lower today.

“Parker?”

“Gwen?”  Peter was pulled from his thoughts and tilted his head in confusion. “What are you doing out here?”

“I was at the library and making my way back home but the bus is cancelled because of the alien attack threat.  What are you doing out here?  Shouldn’t you be safely nuzzled inside the Baxter Building or something?”  Gwen teased as she straightened her saddle bag and smiled at Peter.  Peter wasn’t sure why everyone was so convinced that he was going to be trapped in the Baxter Building just because there was an alien attack going on.  Even if he wasn’t Spider-Man, Peter was still totally capable of not getting himself turned into a civilian casualty. 

“What’s with the attitude is this because I haven’t called you enough?  I am perfectly capable of walking through an alien attack and not dying.”  Peter responded his voice sounding slightly higher pitched than usual.  Gwen rolled her eyes and started walking.  Peter fell into step beside her.

“Forget it, where you off too?”

“Gonna grab some samples from a site that I’m pretty sure I’m not invited too.  Wanna come?”  He asked.

“Sure.”  Gwen shrugged.

“What?  No, really?  But like it’s gonna take forever to walk there.  Oh right and there's an alien attack...that too."

“"Well then you better bring your unique talents.”  Peter stopped walking and stared at Gwen blankly in confusion.  Peter was a lot of things, but he didn’t exactly have a reputation for being good at physical fitness except for that brief unit they had in gym on gymnastics.  “Thwip, thwip?”  Gwen said casually looking at Peter as if he was an idiot.

“How did you know!?”  Peter said a little too loudly.  He covered his own mouth.  “How did you know?”  He whispered.

“Peter, I dated you for like four months it would be pretty sad if I didn’t know.”  Gwen sounded like she was going to laugh.  “Besides I’m not going to a possibly dangerous sample site in the middle of an alien attack with Peter Parker, I don’t have a death wish.”

“You said the same thing when I wanted to go to an all you can eat buffet too.”  Peter grumbled shoving his hands in his pockets.  “Okay, we better walk a bit though.  If people see Spider-Man around he’ll end up getting involved and I don’t even know if the Four need help anyways.”

“With your luck they’ll probably end up having their final showdown exactly where we’re going.”

“Can’t you ever use your psychic powers for good?”  Spider-Man hissed while swinging Gwen away from where the Fantastic Four was battling with some alien that they seemed to know but Peter sure didn’t.

“For the last time it’s not me!  It’s your superhuman bad luck!” Gwen whispered back sharply.

“You should get out of here.”

“No!  If you can stay here why can’t I?”

“Gwen, you’re hella kick keister - we both know that.  But you also can’t escape from psycho-aliens quite as easily as I can and someone has to keep the samples from breaking and we both know I drop things.”  Peter handed Gwen his bag filled with the samples and his phone.  Just in case Johnny checked where Peter was he would think Spider-Man and Peter Parker hadn't been in the same place at the same time, except maybe for a moment to get chased away.

“Do you always sound this lame when you’re Spider-Man?  Is it like a cursed suit or something?”

“One - how dare you I sound cool all the time,“  Spider-Man groaned as he heard a crash behind him.  “Two through seventy-five can wait for later, you good?”  

“Don’t break the samples or let aliens kill you, think I got it.”  Gwen sounded unimpressed as she hoisted the bag onto her back.  She was a bit weighed down with both her saddle bag and Peter's backpack but it wasn't impossible to get around quickly if need be.

“Awesome Sauce.”  Peter turned around and got ready to launch himself back into the battle.

“Spider-Man.”  Gwen called halting Peter for a moment.

“Yes citizen?”  He said leaning backwards to look at her upside down instead of turning around.

“Don’t get yourself killed.”  Gwen said with a small smile.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Peter lifted his arm ready to swing away as a distraction cover for Gwen.  “Oh and this is gonna ruin my cool exit but just so you know that bag also has a bunch of old clothes in it so if it starts to smell a bit just spray some febreze on it, ‘k thanks bye!”  Peter swung into the middle of a conflict where he clearly wasn’t expected or particularly wanted. 

“Spider-Man?”  He heard Mr. Fantastic say in confusion amidst a chorus of explosions and alien screeching.

“The one and only.”  Peter answered as he trapped a group of aliens in his web fluid.  “How’s the invasion going guys, liking earth so far?’  The aliens answered with indistinguishable screeches.  “A simple yes would have done it, you guys sound like a fan club for the Human Matchstick.”

“My fans don’t sound like that.”  Peter could hear Johnny yell from the distance as he continued fighting off aliens.

“So now that we’ve all been introduced any interest in stopping the invasion, I mean if you wanted to come to an intergalactic dinner party you could have just asked.”  The aliens continued screeching and Peter leapt out of the way as more appeared and went to take a swing at him.  “Jeez, what’s with all the anger didn’t you check the Yelp! reviews for this place?”

“Spider-Man if you’d like to help maybe you could actually help.”  Sue spat with great effort sounding quite annoyed as she pushed back more aliens. 

“My winning humour is my best weap-“  Peter groaned in pain as one of the creatures landed a hit sending him flying backwards.  “Ouch.  Okay you’re officially uninvited.”  After what felt like three hours of Peter being thrown around the aliens finally left after simply lifting lifting their hands in what Peter assumed was surrender and waving at the Four.  Sue cheered from her place on the field and Reed walked calmly up to the group of aliens to shake their hands before they left.  Peter slumped next to a rubble pile and groaned.

“You’re fault for joining in when you didn’t have to.”  Johnny said unsympathetically as he passed Spider-Man a melted ice pack.

“Did you melt this on purpose?”  Peter asked as he took it with a glare.  He was pretty sure Johnny could tell he was glaring even with the mask on.

“Sometimes my control slips after a fight.”  The Human Torch said with a slight grin.  “You do know that was just our friend Steve and his family right?”

“Steve?”  Peter repeated blankly.

“Well that’s not his actual name but his real name is very difficult for human’s to pronounce.  Every three years we have a show down to decide who gets first pick on the dates they get the time-share.”  Reed chimed in cheerily.  "We decided to battle it out on earth this year.  We gave everyone advanced notice and got permission from the city but some of the news organizations must have not read their notifications."

“Are you telling me that I just spent 5 hours fighting aliens so you guys could go skiing in February instead of November?”  Peter said sounding utterly exhausted.

“Well he’s actually quite an important figure in intergalactic politics, we actually help Earth’s intergalactic negotiations quite a bit by having a time share with Steve and his family, but essentially - yes.”  Reed sounded all too cheery for Peter’s tastes. 

“Gonna mind your own business more now?”  Sue asked holding back laughter.

“You guys are the worst.” 

“Yeah, yeah.  I admit we might have been a bit hard on you, you might be a kid but clearly you’re just going to be an idiot no matter what I say.”  Sue shrugged.  “You’re worse then Johnny to be honest.”

“Well that’s just insulting.”  Spider-Man and Johnny said at the same time.  Peter glared at Johnny as Johnny shrugged and continued to smirk.

“Alright, we’ll try this again then.  Meeting back at the Baxter Building?  Peter’s there, he can play referee while we try and figure out what we’re going to do about Doom.”  Sue suggested deciding that Spider-Man was more dangerous left as a wild-card.

“Doom?  Like my doom? Die in an explosion doom, tell my friends I love them kind of doom?" 

“No, you idiot.  Victor von Doom.  As in Doctor Doom.  I got stuck on a radioactive planet for a year and now I’m Mr. Grumpy-Gills Doom.”  Johnny corrected bluntly.

“Oh…so it’s not an army of moths and bees that are going to destroy New York City and the harvest in Iowa?  Because that was my working slash maybe verified theory.”

“…Really, only you would be fighting an evil plot like that.”  Peter heard Johnny mutter.  Peter glared at Johnny, so what if his villains weren't as cool, they still threatened the world.

“Bees are important.”  Peter paused as something Sue had said finally sunk in.  “Wait, who, what - which Peter?”  He tried fully knowing that there was very little chance that there was another Peter they all knew who was supposed to be in the Baxter Building right now.

“You know another Peter who has bad enough taste to date Johnny?”  Ben cut in looking at Spider-Man as if he was an idiot.  Peter wracked his brain for an excuse.  He wasn’t sure who to try to get out of the situation, Spider-Man or Peter Parker.  Spider-Man was easier to excuse, but he also really needed the information Sue was just about to finally give him.  He had to say something before the pause seemed unnatural.

“Peter had to check on Aunt May.”  Peter answered before he could stop himself. 

“And you know this because?”

“I saw him on my way over, I was like Parker - coolest person I’ve ever met, might I say you are super good looking and intelligent, where are you off to in the middle of this supposed alien invasion?  And he was all, being the best nephew ever I was worried about my Aunt and thought she might need…candles.”  Peter finished lamely.  If he wasn't currently trying to convince the Four he was telling the truth he would probably face palm right now.

“Candles?”  Sue asked looking unconvinced.

“If the power goes out, you know keep the lights going.  Perfect for midnight reading.”

“It’s noon, and sunny.”  Sue continued still sounding unconvinced.

“Look it’s not my fault Peter gave me a bad excuse!”  Peter said in exasperation.

“Should you call him to check in with him?”  Reed asked Johnny.  Peter stiffened as he remembered his phone was with Gwen.  As Johnny pulled out his phone and dialled Peter’s number remarkably fast Peter began a chorus of 'don’t answer Gwen' in his head.

“Hello?”  Peter heard Gwen ask through the phone with his super hearing. 

“Who is this?”  Johnny asked standing slightly straighter.

“Gwen, Pete’s just fighting through a case of extremely violent diarrhea - do you want me to pass a message on to him?”  He deserved that.  Some part of him knew he deserved that, but he had never wished MJ had his phone more than Gwen ever before in his life except in this moment.

“Umm no that’s fine, where are you guys?”  Johnny asked sounding a bit thrown off by how confidently Gwen had told him Peter had violent diarrhea.

“Well, not that it’s any of your business.”  Gwen said sounding a little bored and very intimidating.  Peter wanted to face palm.  Johnny was definitely going to be sulking and slightly peeved later.  He had been a good boyfriend for about two days though, for him that was pretty much a new record.  “We’re at Aunt May’s.  I ran into Peter as he was headed back and he told me to come with him.  Safety in numbers and all that.  Plus he wanted help with our advanced chemistry lab report.”

“Why would he need help?  Peter's really smart…most of the time.”  Johnny said suspiciously.  Peter tried to not be offended by the unnecessary 'most of the time' remark.  From the corner of his eye he could see Sue face palming and trying to get Johnny's attention while mouthing ‘get off the phone you idiot’ to Johnny.  Clearly she knew he’d past the casual conversation line and started to walk towards interrogation.

“So am I.  Imagine that, two smart people and they both know each other and are friends.  Ground breaking.”  Gwen drawled.  Clearly she was not going to be the first person to hang up and was thoroughly enjoying having the opportunity to humiliate Peter.

“And I’ll take that.”  Peter said slinking next to Johnny and somehow grabbing his phone.  “Thank you kind citizen, stop by the office sometime we’ll give you autographs.  Ciao Adios!”  Spider-Man pressed end call before Peter Parker magically caught any other embarrassing illnesses.  He already apparently had diarrhea and needed help on a lab report.  He could only hope Gwen actually helped him, he had slacked on the last lab a little by falling asleep on the lab table much to the chagrin of his teacher. “Well that was…are you smelling me?”  Peter asked turning to Johnny,

“Do you wash this?”

“Not cool dude, not cool.”  Peter said as he walked away from Johnny tossing his phone back to him.  “Meet you all Baxter then?  Cool I’ll bring snacks!”

“You don’t need to bring snacks.”  Reed called as Peter got ready to swing away.

“I got snacks!”

Peter managed to bring popcorn.  Not only could he not really afford anything else but it turned out that most grocery stores were not super excited to have Spider-Man shop in them, even if he stops a robbery while he’s just trying to buy some popcorn.  The meeting with the Four was more productive than the last.  Johnny spent the entire meeting sulking while Ben sat there silently and Sue detailed the dangers attached to every single point Reed brought up.  From what Peter grasped Doom started another secret evil organization and was using plans he found from old World War II weapons to have Earth surrender itself to him.  Apparently a country was not enough.  Peter made a note to himself that evil villains apparently get bored of holding specific territory if they maintain it for too long.  The whole thing was a bit more anti-climactic than he was used to.  Frankly it was a little ordinary.

“So he’s not going to find an army of intelligent chimpanzees and try to use them as soldiers only to get trapped in a power struggle between him and them, forcing him to create a temporary alliance with us and then get put in jail for about two weeks before his lawyer gets him acquitted somehow?”  The entire Fantastic Four looked confused.  “I’m just saying it seems really normal.  Like a normal not super weird take over the world plan, I don’t get it.”  Spider-Man said as he crossed his arms.

“Well I mean other than being super evil and having powers Doom’s not really all that strange."  Sue said as she glanced around at the others, they all shrugged in agreement.  "There’s a few out there plots but usually he just wants to rule things, make money and punch Johnny in the face.”

“We have that in common then.  Maybe that’s you’re peace solution.”  Peter said offhandedly.

“Hey!”  Johnny called finally pulling himself out of his sulk.

“Just like,"  Peter continued, ignoring Johnny's indignation "it started so good you know?  There was a secret organization that had a death to America slogan, they killed a guy made out of bees and then somehow realized their own mutant powers and brought an army of giant moths on New York and then got thwarted by Doom because Doom had a plan to take over Earth and now we’re just stopping Doom’s probably boring - robots I assume but with like a tbt to wwII - from destroying the world and then…huh then there’s still moth lady.”  Peter paused for a moment.  “You know I think I’m being used.”

“You just realized that?”  Johnny chimed in.

“Oh shut it, it’s not like you knew either."  Peter said ignoring the fact that last meeting Mr. Fantastic had clearly told him he was being used.  "Dang it was totally a fake deadly virus attack.”

“No that one was real, it’s just that Doom was the target but he was pretty much MIA the whole time and the virus ridden bugs turned out to be sensitive to bug related pheromones so it didn’t exactly work out.”  Reed said looking at Spider-Man pointedly.

“Why is it always my fault?  Also eww, I give off bug pheromones?”  

“But they went after-“ Johnny started and then stopped himself suddenly.  Peter froze as Johnny turned and stared at him in disbelief.  “Can I talk to you for a minute.”  Johnny started walking out of the room leaving his family confused.  “Now!”  Johnny called without turning around sounding a bit angry.

“We can continue this later.”  Reed smiled kindly.  “Here.”

“Flame retardant?”  Peter said confused as he turned the object over in his hands.

“Think you might need it.”  Reed said.  “He has the same temper as Sue.”

“Excuse me?”  Peter heard Sue say.

“…Sometimes I wish I had the ability to turn invisible.”  Reed muttered to himself.  Deciding he’d caused enough damage Peter slunk out of the room and walked towards the end of the hall where Johnny waited.  Silently he followed as Johnny walked briskly towards his room.  Peter let the door drop close behind them once they reached it.

“I swear if you accuse me of jizzing on your boyfriend or something I’m gonna vomit.”  Peter announced doing his best to give off some solid Spider-Man swagger.

“I’m actually 95% sure you have jizzed on my boyfriend, since I’m 95% sure you are by boyfriend.”  Johnny spun around glaring at Peter.  Peter stood there trying to process what Johnny had just said.  There was something about jizz, he'd never heard someone say the word jizz so angrily before.  Peter was being accuse of jizzing on...Peter.  He had to stop himself from verbally saying 'oh' as he realized he was being accused of being himself.

“…No comprende?”  He tried, not knowing what else to say.

“You don’t even speak Spanish.”  

“Well…this isn’t exactly a story we can tell others.”  Peter said awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his head.  He hadn't felt this consciously aware of his mask since he put it on for the first time after he made his suit almost a year ago.  Johnny continued to glare at him. 

“You were the one who started with jizz.”  Johnny muttered.  Peter had to give him that.  He’d half hoped that was this was another Spider-Man stay away from Peter Parker moment, not a Peter Parker you are Spider-Man moment.

“So…the mask should be-“  He started hesitantly.

“It’s your call.”  Johnny said sulkily.

“Okay, now you’re just being unfair.”

“I’m being unfair?  I’m not the one who’s been knowingly provoking fights with his boyfriend for months, months!  I punched you in the face!”  Peter bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.  In a strange way he'd really enjoyed the Spider-Man vs. the Human Torch fights.  

“And I trapped you in a giant iceberg made by a freeze-ray to see how long it would take you to melt it, we all make mistakes.”  Peter tried.  Judging by Johnny's face that hadn't been the best example to pick while trying to reason with Johnny.  It had been really funny though.

“Aren’t you supposed to be trying to make yourself sound better since you’re the one in deep shit right now?”  Johnny sounded exactly like Sue right now.  Peter stopped himself from saying that particular thought out loud.  He was trying already trying to dig himself out of a hole he didn't need to add the equivalent of dynamite to the process.

“Would it help if you saw my adorable face?”

“Not really.”  Johnny said flatly still glaring at Peter slightly. 

“Well can’t say it’s the first time I’ve heard that.  Look I have my reasons! I just don’t tell people, okay?”

“Gwen knows.”  Johnny looked away from Peter.  Peter groaned in frustration.

“I just found out that Gwen knows today.  I hadn’t even told Aunt May, turns out she knows and I’ve just been avoiding her for about 3 days and I’ve gone from no one knowing to three people knowing and I’m kind of freaking out so I get that you’re hurt but-ugh!”  Peter let out a frustrated groan.  He thought about sitting down but he also really just wanted to leave and run away from everything.  “Look, I know you said it was bull but people around me get hurt.  I don’t know if I’m cursed or-I don’t know but I’m just trying to keep people from getting hurt.  I’m trying to keep myself from getting hurt.  Everyone around you can protect themselves Johnny, what am I supposed to do if Goblin or Doc Oc suddenly decided to go after Aunt May or MJ?  It’ll be my fault and I can’t deal with being responsible for anyone else’s death.  I don't know if I can do it again and I just, I just don't want anyone else to get hurt.”

“You’re not responsible for anyones death.”  Johnny said gently.  He uncrossed his arms and stopped glaring at Peter for the first time since the argument had started and took a few steps towards Peter.  This time Peter took a few steps back.

“Yes I am!  You don’t…I should go.  I really don’t belong here.  Just…text me if you know what Doom’s up to and I’ll let you guys know if I figure anything else out.”  Peter tried to take a few more steps back but felt Johnny's hand gently wrap around his wrist. 

“That’s not true, stop.”  Johnny whispered as he pulled Peter towards him.  His hand slipped off of Peter's wrist and into Peter's own.  Johnny held it and ran his thumb over the face of Peter's hand.  For the first time since the encounter started he wished he wasn't dressed as Spider-Man.  Peter knew he could get away if he wanted to but he didn’t. A soft smile crossed Johnny’s face.  “You should calm down so I can go back to being justifiably pissed at you instead of worried.”  Peter couldn’t help but chuckle at that.  He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself and looked away from Johnny's face.

“You haven’t said my name yet.”  Peter said quietly a small frown on his brow.

“Well, there is still that 5%.”  Johnny said with a sad smile.  “Look - if you don’t want me to know, I’ll keep pretending I don’t.  I might be mad but you don’t owe me an explanation, and I can’t say I wouldn’t have made the same choices you have if I was in your shoes.”

“Why are you so nice?  I was convinced you were a complete egotistical douche.”  Peter muttered while still not looking at Johnny.

“Well I mean, is it really ego if it’s all true?  I am very good looking.  And I am pretty upfront about who I am, my ringtone is Womanizer by Brittney Spears.  If that's not honesty I don't know what is.”  Peter couldn’t help but laugh at Johnny as silence fell between them.  

"Right...okay."  Peter counted to three in his head took a deep breath and slipped his hand out of Johnny’s hold and quickly ripped of his mask.  Peter looked up at Johnny.  

There was a beat of silence.  Peters hair stuck up from all angles having been thoroughly messed up by his mask.  There was probably some bruising on his face too based on Johnny’s expression right now.  He absently ran his hand through his hair unconsciously trying to fix it slightly.

“Well?  Say something!”  Peter said.  Johnny made a thoughtful face and tilted his head to the side wearing a slight frown.

“You could have made that sexier you know.” 

“I hate you.”  Peter said not meaning it all as relief filled his bones.

“Same.”  Johnny said pulling Peter closer to him onto the bed behind them.  Peter let his mask drop to the floor.

“Are you really going to try and make out with me right now?  Your family’s waiting for us to get back.” 

“Pete.”  Johnny said with a smile.  Peter rolled his eyes as Johnny’s hands roamed around him.  One settled at the curve of his back while the other brushed through the hair at the nape of his neck.  Peter felt a soft pull forwards and followed it as Johnny’s lips pressed gently against his. “Peter.”  He whispered again.  Peter felt himself biting his lip, torn between the fact that they probably had other things they had to do right now and making out with Johnny.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he was also slightly worried about getting a boner while wearing spandex. 

“We really have to find out what the plan is.”  Peter whispered back.  Johnny sighed and pulled back slightly with a pout.

“But I never listen to what the plan is.  Since when does Spider-Man follow a plan anyways?”

“I always have a plan!”

“You mean those crazy things that almost get you killed are planned?” Johnny deadpanned as he raised his eyebrow at Peter.  Peter felt his face heat slightly. “Come on in like 5 minutes I’m going to remember how mad I am at you, let’s just stay like this for now.”

“Your family will come looking for you.”

“Nah they probably think we got into a fight.  I’ll just dramatically blast through a wall when we leave or something.”

“I don’t even want to think about how high your insurance rates are.”  Johnny hummed in agreement as he pulled Peter onto the bed beside him.  Not expecting the movement Peter lurched forwards and ended up landing face first.  Johnny’s laughter echoed through the room.  “Rude.  I hate you so much you over styled-“  Peter stoped talking as he felt Johnny shift.  Peter turned slightly and saw Johnny settled beside him with one arm reaching overtop of Peter encouraging him to turn over towards Johnny. 

“Shh…I have to go back to being pissed at you in 5 minutes.  You get amazing boyfriend Johnathan Storm for about-"  Johnny moved the arm that was draped over Peter slightly and glanced at his watch. "-four more minutes.”

“You’re going to be super petty and salty aren’t you?”

“You have no idea.”  Johnny said with a smile as he pulled Peter forwards and kissed him.  “Peter,” Johnny paused and smirked in a way that had Peter worried.  “I’m so glad you don’t have uncontrollable violent diarrhea right now.”

“I thought you said I get four more minutes of having a nice boyfriend!”  Peter complained as Johnny’s uncontrolled laughter filled the room.

Chapter Text

“Peter Parker stop right there.”  Peter froze as Aunt May’s voice carried up the stairs as he was trying to sneak up to his room.  He really should have just gone through his window.  Peter bit his lip as his nerves rose, he walked back down the stairs.  Aunt May never seemed to set off his spider-sense, which didn’t make much sense to him right now.  He hadn’t felt this scared since the first time he put on his suit.

“Aunt May, my favourite person in the world how are you?”  Peter tried nonchalantly.  Aunt May cocked her eyebrow and Peter knew he was screwed.  “Umm…i’m sorry?”  He tried awkwardly not knowing what else to say. 

“Sit down Peter.”  Aunt May sighed.  Peter dropped himself on the couch quickly and sat up straighter than he ever had in his entire life.  Aunt May tapped her fingers against her coffee mug as she seemed to be debating where to start.  “I mean other than the fact that I’m not happy you’re constantly putting yourself in extreme danger, I just want to know why you didn’t tell me.”  Peter scratched the back of his head.

“I mean, if I came to you and said ‘Hey Aunt May, I got bit by a radioactive spider and now I’m gonna put on a costume and try to save the people of New York City’ what would you have said?” 

“Probably that you were grounded for life and then sent you to a psychiatrist.”  Aunt May said with a small smile.  “So when did this whole thing start?”

“You know that exhibit I went to on arachnids last year, a week or so before…”

“You’ve been keeping this to yourself for that long?”  A sadness carried through Aunt May’s voice.  She couldn’t help but wonder if Peter would have told them had Ben lived.  Maybe he would have told Ben then.  Peter had been alone for so long, she felt even more grateful that the Storm boy was in his life now.  “I can’t say I’m not a little surprised.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me, because of what I decided to do.  I-I couldn’t have this power and do nothing.”

“With great power comes great responsibility.”  Aunt May said knowingly.  Peter rang his hand together so tightly his hands were turning white.  Aunt May walked over and sat beside him and placed her hand over his.

“I don’t know why you think it was, but it wasn’t you fault Peter.”  She spoke as gently as possible.  If anything, Peter just held himself tighter as if he was going to explode.

“I could have stopped it.’  He whispered, his voice shaking slightly.  “I saw the guy earlier and if I’d just-I could have-“

“Peter, there are a million different paths any persons life can take.”  Aunt May directed Peter’s head towards her so she could look into his eyes and offered him a sad smile.  She knew exactly how he was feeling, after all, it was because of her that Ben went to pick up eggs in the first place.  “Your parents could have been alive, I could have married a different man, Johnathan could have never whined his way into Dr Richards experiment - but none of that is our reality.  The choices effect we make only so much, we don’t control other peoples choices.  All we can do is try to make the best ones we can.”  Peter’s shoulders began to shake.  May’s heart broke as she watched Peter fall apart in front of her.  Ugly tears fell down.

“But it wasn’t my best Aunt May, it wasn’t my best.”  Peter managed to get out in between arrhythmic gasps for air.  May’s hand wiped away his tears smoothing them into his skin. 

“Oh Peter.  Your best isn’t what you do when you're at your best, it’s what you do when you’re at your worst - it’s what you’re doing right now.  And I know Ben would be very, very proud of you.”  Aunt May smiled gently as her eyes watered and she tried to hold back her tears.  Peter continued to be less successful.  He seemed to have calmed slightly though as his breath steadied.  “I mean, if he heard about this he’d ground you for life and say no superhero-ing until you’re done high school, but he’d be proud.”  Peter hugged Aunt May and hurried his head in the crook of her neck. 

“Johnny found out today…it turns out Gwen knows too.”  A slight steadiness had returned to Peter’s speech but May could still hear his insecurity and fears that were usually hidden by a false bravado.

“Oh good, then I can chat with other people about how stupid my nephew is.” 

“Aunt May!”  Aunt May pulled back from the hug and looked Peter in the eyes.  She raised her eyebrows as if to say ‘really?  Do you have any grounds to complain about anything I choose to do right now?’.  Peter bit his lip and broke eye contact.

“So…”

“It went okay.  He’s low-key mad at me.”

“Well, he hasn’t had the privilege of keeping it a secret that your secret is busted.  It’s a lot easier to be gracious when you’ve had time to accept it.”

“I know the Spider-Man thing is hard to swallow-“

“It’s not that Peter.  It’s the face that someone you love, that you trust so much and you thought trusted you didn’t trust you enough to tell you something that significant.”

“It’s not a trust thing.  If anyone gets hurt-“

“That might almost work with me and Gwendolyn, but did you think that would work with Johnathan?”  Peter avoided making eye contact with Aunt May.  He knew it was a little ridiculous to worry about endangering Johnny more.  If anything Johnny knowing would keep both of them safer.  Peter had the constant fear in the back of his mind that Johnny would start hating him if he knew.

“It’s still how I feel.”  He muttered.  Aunt May rolled her eyes fondly recognising the insecure, stubborn idiot in front of her as the Peter Parker she knew and loved.  Spider-powers or no Spider-powers he was still very much the same Peter.

“The boy fights space aliens and can set his entire body on fire, Peter.”

“He still has lots of weaknesses.”  Peter tried weakly “Water, lack of oxygen, fire extinguishers, people insulting his looks-“

“And Spider-Man is invincible?  Because judging but that bruise on your torso, you’re not Peter.”

“I’m-“

“Expendable?”  Aunt May smiled gently at Peter while shaking her head.  “I’d rather die than see you die too, it’s not abnormal.  Most people just don’t take that many steps to ensure it goes their way.  Just give him time, Johnathan will understand.”

“Does he know you call him by his full name, does Gwen know?” Aunt May swiped Peter lightly on the shoulder and smiled.  “What if he breaks up with me Aunt May?”

“Peter Parker I’ve never heard you say anything more ridiculous.  I mean honestly have you seen the boy look at you?”  Aunt May stood up and straightened her clothes and started walking towards the kitchen leaving Peter where he was.  “He’s more likely to marry you than he is break up with you.”  Peter felt his face turn beat red.  Surely Aunt May was exaggerating. “Now go clean up your face, you look awful,”  Aunt May said cheekily as she stood up and walked towards the kitchen  “and you’re having lunch with me before you run off to do heaven-knows-what.”

____________________

“Hey Gwen.  How are those samples going?”  Peter asked as he approached her locker. 

“Pretty good, here.”  Gwen passed him a printed sheet with test results on it.  “I’m pretty sure the mutant moths, whether they’re giant of just virus carrying all all have a similar origin point that starts with this goo we found in the soil.”

“The stuff that definitely got spat over me?  Gross.”

“You’ve already got radioactive spider blood I think you’re fine Parker.”  Gwen rolled her eyes as they continued speaking quietly as they walked towards English class.  MJ had English with them as well, but Peter was pretty sure she’d managed to get most of the class turned into a free period because of her internship at The Bugle.  That was something Peter probably should have looked into but he was always much worse at convincing people to do things than MJ was.  There was a reason Johnny always seemed to get his way no matter what Peter thought they should do.  “Anyways you should be able to neutralise it now that you know the chemical formula, we can whip it up after school or something.  Also, I ran a scan the city’s soil samples and there are similar contaminated sites in these locations.”  Gwen said passing Peter another sheet of paper.

“Gwen Stacey did you hack into city records for this?”  Gwen rolled her eyes.

“Of course not, I have permission since I’m in the environmental studies elective.  We get access to some of the cities databases.”

“Too bad, I almost fell in love with you again.”  Peter folded the paper and tucked it into his saddle bag for safe keeping.

“No way, not going down that road again.  Besides, I can only piss off Johnathan Storm for fun so many times before I start worrying about arson attacks.”  Gwen said teasingly as they walked into English. 

The day had passed slowly and Peter wasn’t completely sure he’d learned anything new at all.  His relationship with Johnny Storm was already old news and people mostly left him alone again.  He was pretty sure half the school had forgotten he was dating the Human Torch and they all just thought it was a mysterious someone at school.  Peter sighed as he tried sample 32 to neutralise the chemical formula Gwen had figured out.  “You get anything, Gwen?”  Peter asked glancing over at Gwen who was glaring at the paper.

“Nothing that doesn’t result in an explosion.”

“Oh well, that’s fine.”  Peter said off-handedly.  Gwen glared at him.

“I will not be responsible for turning this goop into something even worse.  Honestly, maybe we should just ask Dr Richards to take a look at it?  We’re smart Peter, but we’re also high school students and we have pretty limited resources here.”

“So is Amadeus Cho and anything he can do I can do.” 

“You really have to get over that.”  Gwen groaned in annoyance as she kept working away at the chemical formula. “I’m sure Tony Stark would like you too if he met you.”  She said patronisingly.  Peter glared at her.

“You shouldn’t be able to get 113% on a test that’s all I’m saying, like why is he even here?”  Gwen had wondered that too but studied had shown being valedictorian didn’t guarantee you an extraordinary life so she’d forced herself to stop stressing about it.  Peter hadn’t, Gwen knew Peter was significantly more dependent on scholarships than she was though.

“Your jealousy is showing Peter.”

“Pshh, not jealous.  Besides what I lack in genius IQ I make up for with sheer dumb luck.”

“Not sure that is something you should be bragging about.  Wait don’t-“  Gwen stood up as she watched Peter absently mix some chemicals together.  Peter looked up with a questioning look as he stilled his hands for a moment.  Gwen stared at the vial in confusion.  “That definitely should have exploded.  Like, majorly exploded - not the usual Parker mishap.”

“Rude.  Huh, so you think this one works then?”  Peter walked the sample over to one of their soil samples.

“We should probably do this-“ Peter dumped the new mixture on top of the contaminated soil.  “-Carefully…Guess not.”  Gwen leant down in front of the ventilator with Peter for a better look.

“What did I tell you?  Who needs the extra IQ points when you have the power of creativity and the universe on your side.  Do you think we can get away with leaving the sample overnight to see if it works?”

“Yeah just put them in the corner ventilator no one touches that one since you caused that explosion and stuck whatever you mixed up in there.”

“I was trying to make a new type of web fluid, it would have worked.” Gwen ignored him.

“We should probably mix up some extras and see if they destabilise overnight too and then head home before we get chased out of the school.”

Three days passed before Gwen was comfortable saying the concoction they had managed to make was probably as good as it was going to get.  To Peter that sounded like a ringing endorsement.  Peter put the vials in a utility belt he’d made for his suit and pulled out the map of contaminated sites Gwen had made for him.  Seven sites, lots of chances to possibly run into super villains and optimally 5 hours, he could do this. With one last deep breath, Peter pulled the mask over his head and set off for his first stop.

______________________

Johnny held the phone to his ear as it rang.  He bit his lip in slight worry.  It wasn’t exactly abnormal that Peter wasn’t answering his phone, he just had a bad feeling about it.  Peter had been distant the last week, which was fine.  Johnny was used to hanging around reclusive science geeks who disappeared into labs for weeks without any contact.   

“Sue it’s probably a bad idea to track my boyfriend's phone right?”  Johnny said absently from his spot on the kitchen table.

“You think Peter’s cheating on you?”  Sue asked looking up from her papers somewhat concerned and startled. Johnny shook his head as he turned his body towards her and took his feet off the table when he noticed her glaring at them slightly.

“No of course not, I’m Johnny Storm.”  Sue didn’t look convinced.  “Fine, if he cheated on me he’d ruin his reputation with Reed.  He’s just not answering his phone.”

“How long?”  Sue asked with a frown.

“…Five minutes.”  Sue’s frown disappeared and she looked at Johnny as if he was an idiot.  “But he hasn’t answered any of my texts either.”

“What all 500 of them?”

“Rude.  There’s only like 82 and you know I like stream of consciousness texts.  It’s not like I’m sending him 82 paragraphs.”

“And they’ve got read receipts?”

“…Yes.”

“And the text topic was?”

“What shirt I should wear for my interview tomorrow.”  Johnny said with defeat in his voice.  He knew he was losing this one, but he had a bad feeling.  Johnny had learned to trust his intuition, at least most of the time.  Something felt off.

“And Huston we have an answer.  Seriously, Johnny, it’s not like you would take his answer into account, he’s probably catching up on homework.  Something you should probably be doing, by the way.  Reed worked hard on trying to come up with interesting curriculum.”

“Well you can tell him he wasn’t successful.”  He muttered. 

“Johnny.”

“Sorry, that was uncalled for.”  Johnny sighed.  He wasn’t really upset with Reed’s homework, Sue knew that.

“Peter’s a pretty normal kid Johnny, I’m not sure how much trouble he could get into.”

“…Yeah.”  Johnny said offhandedly knowing what Sue had just said was the complete opposite of what was true. 

________________

“You know you’re being very rude right now.”  Spider-Man croaked as he hung suspended from the ceiling cocooned in what he really hoped was rope.  He wished he’d sounded a little more nonchalant but his voice was raw from being hung upside down with no food or water what he felt like was probably getting close to two days.  He wasn’t totally sure though, he’d lost track of time a while ago.  Peter struggled to keep his wits about him, he figured the deprivation was to try to make him an easier target for mind control of something, which he was not particularly interested in. 

“I hope you didn’t tell anyone to check in with you or they can join you on the ceiling.”  Peter had been neutralising the last spot on the city map Gwen gave him when Swarm got the drop on him.  He was sure Gwen was probably worried by now, she even probably called Johnny, Peter was just glad he hadn’t had his phone on him for her to get even more information on him.  The last thing he wanted was Johnny getting dragged into his mess.

“To be honest I’d rather no one else witness this moment.  It’s a little embarrassing and I could do without any more BDSM jokes in my life.”

“I’m very disappointed in you Spider.”

“Haven’t heard that one before.  Seriously what do you want Swarm?  I have a do-good, no-kill policy and your behaviour kind of falls outside that.”

“You’ve got a surprising amount of bite for a bug that’s been tied up for almost two days.  Shame, we would have had a great partnership.”  Peter was just glad that she’d left his mask on so his concern for his own well-being wasn’t readable.  He’d lost track of time but two days didn’t feel wrong, he probably would have believed four days at this point.

“Again, I have a no kill thing going for me.  It’s a thing where I don’t kill people - something you kind of want to do, seemingly to all of America.”  Peter hadn’t talked to anyone in two days, he wanted to keep talking.  More importantly, he needed to keep Swarm distracted from whatever she was trying to do, even if it meant his throat felt like it was starting to bleed from talking while so parched. 

“If I don’t do something America will destroy the entire world.”

“You know most people just join PETA or Green Peace when they feel that strongly about this stuff.  Have you tried voting Democrat?”

“You were supposed to shut down Doom’s operation, not completely ruin my research!”  Peter thought that was a bit of a stretch.  The research had been stolen from Oscorp.  Judging by the fact that they hadn’t reported it stolen, they were probably trying something pretty illegal but Peter was going to have to ignore that for now.  He could ask Gwen about it later, as long as it didn’t make her start digging around Oscorp and put her in danger.

“I’m kind of a freelance superhero.  I wasn’t super interested in the job opportunity of getting involved in a villain vs. villain battle.”  Swarm didn’t say anything.  “Look I get it, you don’t like Red Skull who’s teaming up with Doom on this thing but I’m pretty sure there are easier ways to settle your beef.  You know that don’t involve killing me and New York.  I mean honestly if you wanted to fight him you’re better off just trying to foil his evil plans.  He’s bound to get annoyed eventually and try and fight you.”  Peter finally managed to loosen the roped enough that he could feel that he could get out of the cocoon.  He waited for a moment more, he’d been held hostage for two days.  He deserved to escape in style.  “That being said, I do kind of have to arrest you for letting a swarm of giant moths loose on New York City and trying to infect everyone with a deadly virus - which was totally you.”

“Your all talk and tied up Spider.”  Peter turned his body slightly and felt the ropes drop around him.  With a small flip, he landed on his feet in the ready position in front of Swarm.  He quipped his eyebrow slightly as she stood there in shock. 

__________________________

Johnny was completely freaking out by now.  Gwendolyn had called him yesterday.  She’d been a little chuffed when he called her by her full name but she had called him Johnathan so he felt it was deserved.  Give them another year and they’d probably be bonding over what an idiot Peter was but they weren’t quite there yet and Johnny was still a bit mad she found out about the Spider-Man thing first. 

Johnny had hardly slept in the last two days, he had prominent dark circles under his eyes.  Ben had tried to get him to sleep by telling him how ugly he looked and how he was ruining his only redeeming feature.  When that didn’t work he silently went to the kitchen and made Johnny some coffee and dinner and refused to leave until he ate at least.  Johnny was pretty sure Reed tranquillized him or something at some point to get him to sleep a little.  Both Reed and Sue had been helping Johnny search for any hint of Peter, but it was like he just vanished off the earth.  Reed had found Peter’s fantastic-phone stashed away somewhere wrapped in one of Peter’s sweaters which confused Reed as it seemed purposeful.  It didn’t confuse Johnny, it only increased his concern of what mess Peter had gotten himself into.  He supposed he should at least be happy he had definite evidence that Peter was missing.  If this had happened even two weeks ago Peter would have vanished and not even Gwen would have been aware of why. 

“Johnny you have to sleep.”  Sue tried again.  Johnny just shook his head as he stared at the search algorithm Reed had made churn through every available resource.  He’d tried checking the sites Peter had been neutralising for clues after Gwen gave him a copy, but he wasn’t exactly a master detective and he couldn’t figure out how to tell Reed without spilling Peter’s secret. 

Three more hours and it would be Johnny’s self-appointed 48-hour deadline.  If no traces of Peter came up Johnny was going to tell Reed everything.  He’d wanted to right away but it wasn’t until hour 19 when Gwen called that he really had a legitimate reason to worry yet.  Even then Sue, Reed, and Ben thought Peter was a normal kid.  It wasn’t exactly abnormal for him to ignore Johnny for a few days.  They all knew how annoying Johnny could be and asked him if he was sure he hadn’t pissed Peter off somehow.  Johnny did have to concede that it seems a little extreme to track your seemingly normal boyfriend of less than half a year using your genius brother-in-law because he hasn’t called you in two days.  Johnny felt his phone buzz and answered it immediately when he saw Gwen’s name.

“Spider-Man’s been spotted in Midtown.”  She spoke quickly as soon as he answered.  Johnny immediately hung up and raced out of the Baxter Building.

______________________________

Peter’s advantage from unexpectedly breaking free from Swarm’s trap lasted very briefly.  Too briefly if you asked Peter as he flipped through the skyline of New York.  Every single muscle throbbed from the last few walls he’d crashed into against his will.  He was close to what some might call fleeing right now, but he preferred to think of it as improvised trap planning. 

Not that he had a trap for Swarm yet, but he was sure something would come to him in a bit.  Peter dropped a little and had to shoot a second web up to correct his miscalculation.  He usually swung on instinct but his head was extremely fuzzy from not eating, drinking or sleeping for over two days.  If he was a more sane person he would have just focused on escaping and not on trying to arrest Swarm.  Peter could tell he was running dangerously low on web fluid and dropped into a nearby alleyway to give himself a moment to come up with a plan.  He wasn’t sure if it was his dehydration or his Spider-Sense but he had a constant headache.  Peter glanced at the storm drains on instinct to see an army of insects crawling out of the drains towards him, and they did not look friendly.

“Come on guys, we’re friends, aren’t we?  You know mi blood es kinda su blood? No?”  Peter turned and crawled up the walls trying to keep the army of bugs that seemed to be trying to eat him and maybe every building in New York away.  “Ew, Ew Ew Ew”  Somehow his plan to exterminate the bug thing multiplied the problem tenfold.  At least It wasn’t the solution he’d made, just him managing to piss off a super villain.  Peter could feel his ribs throbbing.  He’d definitely hit something wrong when he got thrown through that last building.  Peter’s spider-sense went off signalling him to drop off the wall before Swarm slammed into the building.  He grunted in pain as he awkwardly shot out his web jolting his arm uncomfortably. 

“You’re not very chatty today are you?”  Peter managed to joke slightly with a light cough as Swarm shirked in rage.  “You know you seemed so calm before, managing failure is a really important part of-“  Peter cut himself off with a groan as he got thrown backwards into another building.  He probably should have seen that coming but his spider-sense was constantly going off right now.  It made it difficult to decide when to ignore it and when not to.  Peter could hear sirens ringing throughout the streets.  The Bugle choppers were already out surveying the damage for tomorrow’s paper.  Somehow the cop choppers weren’t out yet.  Peter saw the hesitation pass over Swarms face as she too took in the increasing amount of sirens.  “Oh no you don’t.”  Peter said mostly to himself shooting his web out as Swarm was about to turn and make a run for it.  She hissed.

Peter laid out of breath groaning on a roof in the shadows of one of its generators as the police helicopters continued to fly by.  He’d finally ditched the police and as the adrenaline faded the pain from the battle started to sneak in with a vengeance.  Peter couldn’t quite understand why capturing criminals somehow always ended in a police chase for him.  Granted he’d ended up causing quite a bit of damage to the city but it wasn’t like he had tried to get thrown through buildings.  Swarm was finally in police custody and hopefully they could keep her there, Peter doubted it. 

“Some fight you had there.”

“Torch?”  Peter said not bothering to look over.  “How’d you find me?”

“You’ve been missing for two day’s Pete.”  Peter looked up and glanced over at Johnny.  He looked exhausted.

“Well, you look awful.  You know I’m only dating you for your looks you should be careful.”  Peter tried to joke.  Johnny didn’t bite.  His voice sounded off, even to him.  Peter could feel how shallow his breaths were and how raw and slightly slurred his voice sounded.  If he didn’t know his healing abilities better he’d probably be concerned about his wellbeing.

“Two days.”  Johnny gritted out as he crouched beside Peter concern in his eyes.  It was difficult to tell what injuries Peter had.  Johnny felt like it was going to look awful based on the state of Peter’s suit.  The red made it difficult to tell how much blood he had lost though.  “And I’m pretty sure after you take that suit off you’ll look much worse than me.”

“What did you tell Aunt May?”  Peter asked with a cough.  He hissed as a wave of pain washed through his body.

“I told her you were crashing at mine.  Gwen’s been grabbing your homework and told the school you were sick.”

“Thanks.”  Peter lulled his head towards Johnny.  He could see Johnny’s fingers twitch and could tell he probably wanted to take the mask off to see exactly what state Peter had gotten himself into.  He didn’t though.  Peter would have smiled or taken it off himself if he could move his arms.

“Of course, I can’t believe I’m in love with such an idiot.”  Johnny muttered mostly to himself.  Silence fell between both of them.  Peter wasn’t quite sure he heard Johnny right and Johnny spoke before Peter could use his remaining brain cells to put a sentence together.  “Do you know what injuries you have?”

“Ribs for sure, lots of bruising.  My arm, I can’t really feel it but I think its dislocated.  Maybe a few scratches, nothing too bad.”

“Do you want me to take you to Reed or for Reed to come here?  I don’t know if I can move you safely.” 

“Don’t worry about it I was just gonna wait for like thirty minutes for the police search to die down and then swing home or something.  Well walk actually, I’m out of web fluid.”

“Peter, you can’t go home like this, please just- for once just ugh why are you so frustrating?”  Johnny was severely tempted to flame on just to burn off some of the extreme frustration Peter was causing.  He wouldn’t though, that would probably make a beacon for the police search and Peter wasn’t in any shape to be going anywhere right now.

“Careful, you’ll light yourself on fire.  Can you yell at me tomorrow I’m kinda tired.”  Peter felt the world spin around him as it started to blend together.  He couldn’t help but think Johnny’s hair and eyes reminded him of the sun.  Judging by the concerned expression on Johnny’s face Peter briefly thought he might be saying that out loud.  Now would be a good time not to think about how often he stares at Johnny’s butt then.

“Shit…get the Baxter Med Bay ready.”  Peter heard Johnny say.  He seemed to be talking to his watch.  Peter absently thought that he kind of wanted one of those. “When we get there do you want your mask on still.”

“Do you think Dr Richards would let me?”  Peter said as he felt himself drifting slightly.  He didn’t really feel like walking home anymore. 

“Yes and no.  He would but I think it’s difficult when you might have a concussion.”

“Why would I have a concussion?”

“I don’t know maybe because you got thrown through a few dozen buildings.”  Johnny deadpanned.

“Fine but if you’re carrying me I’m gonna make sure I bleed all over you.”  Peter bit his lip as Johnny lifted him.  The flight back to the Baxter building was longer than Peter thought it would be, probably because Johnny had to make sure to be subtle since he was flying with a fugitive.  “Oh, do we get to go through the super secret FF entrance to the building?”

“Shut up Pete.”

“Awe, you do care.”  Peter said with a grimace noticeably wincing a little.

“We’re almost there, try not to move too much.”  Johnny landed smoothly on the roof and scanned the door opened.  Peter briefly had time to accept the fact that the entire FF was about to see him being carried bridal style.  “Reed, I need your help.”  Johnny called as he pressed the intercom button.  “Meet me in the Med Bay.” 

“The Baxter building if really well connected, this is a very well organised floor plan.”  Peter coughed and Johnny glared down at him as he walked into the elevator.  “Well someone’s grumpy.”

“Johnny, what’s- Spider-Man?”  Reed said as he walked in worriedly with the rest of the FF close behind him.

“Surprise!”  Peter said from Johnny’s arms.  “Any chance there’s a cot I can lie on or something so the humiliation can end?”  Both Johnny and Reed ignored him as Sue helped Reed ready a cot. 

“Put him down here as gently as you can Johnny.”  Reed said signalling to the bed. 

“Can we not cut my suit off?  I don’t really have spares.”  Peter tried as he saw Reed pick up a pair of scissors.  He tried to move his arm to shimmy his suit off when a blinding pain went through his body.

“Stop moving.”  Johnny hissed as he stilled Peter.  Peter sighed and settled.  “Reed’ll make you a new one.”  Reed shot Johnny a look but didn’t deny it as he started cutting the suit. 

“Umm…I guess there’s probably something you should all know then.”  Peter said as he took in the Johnny and Reed’s reaction to the damage that was visible under his suit.  He was pretty sure he heard Sue swear but things were getting a little fuzzy with the blood loss.  Pushing through the pain Peter used his good arm and tugged on his mask.  It took a few tried but eventually, it came off.

“Peter?”  He heard someone say.  He was 90% sure it wasn’t Johnny.  That wouldn't have made sense but he was too out of it to tell if it was Reed, Sue or Ben.  He felt like it was probably Sue.

“Surprise?”  Peter answered weakly.  “Shh, it’s a secret.”  Peter mumbled sleepily as things continued to get blurry.  “I think I lost more blood than I thought.”   Peter felt himself slip into unconsciousness as voices spun around him.  He’d be fine after he slept, he always was.

“Ugh…”  Peter heard rustling beside him as he groaned.  Every sound sounded like it was being played through a loudspeaker.  His eyes remained closed but he could feel the light trying to sneak in through his eyelids, his mask wasn’t on then.  Peter’s throat felt incredibly dry, every part of him was throbbing.  He officially hoped it would take Swarm at least two months to escape from prison.  He didn’t want to talk to her for at least another year.  Maybe she’d take advantage of the free counselling like Sandman had.  Peter willed himself to open his eyes.

“Hey, it’s me, Peter’s waking up.  Yep.  Yep.  Thank’s Reed.”  Peter managed to lull his head to the side and opened his eyes slightly.  He could sort of see Johnny beside the bed as he talked on the phone to Reed.

“Too bright.”  Peter croaked as he shut his eyes again.

“Blinded by my beauty?”  Johnny said as he leant behind to grab a cup of water with a straw for Peter.

“More like your ugliness.”  Peter crooked back.  He tried opening his eyes again.  It was better the second time but his head still throbbed form the rush of information and light.  “Ugh, everything hurts.” 

“I bet.  Here have some water.”  Johnny said placing the cup bleep peter’s head so he could sip from the straw without moving.  “When Reed gets here we’ll see if you can sit up without risking re-injuring yourself.”  Johnny muttered.  Peter looked up at Johnny.  He looked exhausted, even worse than when Peter had seen him last night.  Peter swallowed his guilt, he would have preferred not being injured but it wasn’t like he would have made any decisions differently.

“Please tell me I look better than you right now.” 

“Nope, you look 100x times worse.”  A barely there smile graced Johnny’s face and then quickly disappeared.

“That’s pretty bad then.” 

“Well, you always look 50x worse than me so it’s only a bit worse than usual.”  The door beeped from behind them and Johnny looked away from Peter to greet Reed. 

“I see our patient is finally awake.”

“Please tell me it was only one night.”

“Three days, one broken and dislocated arm, probably a minor concussion, multiple lacerations from falling through glass and hitting exposed rebars and 2 broken ribs with 4 fractured ribs.  You’re very lucky you also have accelerated healing and extra strong bones Mr Parker.  There was also blood loss, dehydration, some of your nutrient levels were low and some sleep deprivation but that’s mostly sorted itself out now.  Please don’t yank out the IV though.”

“Well it’s not the worst-“  Peter stopped as he caught sight of Johnny’s face.  “So how’s the healing going?”  Peter said quickly trying to change the topic.  Johnny still didn’t look happy.

“Your fractures are all healed and your ribs are on their way.  We relocated your arm, obviously, but you’ll have to wear that cast you haven’t noticed for a while.  You’ll have significant bruising for a few weeks and the lacerations are clearing up but I’m not very familiar with your healing rate.  I’d stay away from swinging around the city for a week for sure and then we can reassess.”  Reed smiled.  “That being said I’m technically not a medical doctor so if possible an actual hospital check up might be good.”

“Can’t, radioactive spider blood.”  Peter muttered.  “What about the concussion.”

“Ah well as Susan told me earlier when I said I thought it healed itself, ‘not with the choices that boy makes.  There’s gotta be some serious head trauma there.’.”  Reed smiled kindly as Johnny looked like he was trying to hold back laughter at his sister’s words and Peter’s obvious offence.  “Anyways you can probably try to walk around a bit today with supervision and if everything is okay then I can discharge you.”

“Dr Richards you do know this isn’t a real hospital, I can just leave whenever.”  Reed ignored Peter and hummed to himself as he checked Peter’s vitals.  Johnny sat silently beside Peter’s bed with one leg on the seat so he could rest his head on it.  “You should get some sleep.”  Peter said after a while to Johnny. 

“I will in a bit.”  Reed nodded at both of them and left the room whistling to himself.

“Hey, Johnny…thanks.”

“Anytime bug-brain.  Anytime.”  Johnny said with a tired smile. 

“You know I’m almost gonna miss having to fight moths every other day.”

“You are not shut up.”

_________________________________________

“I’m serious Peter.  Like Spider-Man hasn’t been seen in like two weeks.  If you have a lead you’re not telling me about.”

“Honest MJ, I don’t know.  Besides, you know I haven’t been able to chase as many shots since my arm broke.”

“That’s what you get for cycling in New York.  Ugh, you’re gonna get us fired from our internship for sure.”  Peter was a little surprised MJ bought the bike injury story but it wasn’t the most unbelievable lie he’d ever tried.

“Why for making JJJ too much money?  Fine, maybe I can talk to the FF and see if anything's up.”

“Thank you! That’s all I’m asking for.  I cannot write one more analysis article about how Spider-Man is costing New York City valuable tax dollars, I need him to actually waste tax dollars by destroying a building by accident or something.”  Peter decided to ignore that.

“Honestly you never ask Gwen to grill her dad or Harry to dish on Oscorp.”  Peter complained

“Gwen isn’t in the middle of a paid internship that could continue into a casual freelance job, and Harry…well we both know how that would go.”

“How is the little prince?”  Peter said as he leant against the couch arm.  He’d been trapped in the Baxter Building for almost a week now and was desperate for any news of the outside world.  There were only so many card games you could play with the Thing in one day.  He also thought he might go crazy if he had to deal with one more lecture from Sue about how to show basic concern for his own well-being.  Johnny hadn’t been very sympathetic and said he deserved it as he handed Peter a salad instead of the pizza he’d clearly asked for and deserved.

“Oh my goodness never let him hear you call him that.  It’s fine, he’s fine…we’re, I think I want to break up with him.  So yeah…I’m gonna do that.”  MJ spoke quietly but steadily.  Peter felt bad that he hadn’t been there for her more in the past month.  He could tell things had been going poorly with Harry.  Occasionally Harry went through periods where he demanded what he called absolute loyalty, none of them were exactly sure what that meant but they did love Harry.  It was just difficult when he got like this, Peter wasn’t sure what was going on but it seemed worse than usual.  He didn’t seem to trust anyone anymore.

“Do you need anything?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got Gwen.  Just watch Harry.  He might need you.  Just…don’t let him drink too much.  Or hang out with his Dad, Norman gives me bad vibes.”

“I got it.  Harry babysitting duty, my favourite hobby.”

“Thanks Peter.  And even if you just follow Johnny on one of his photoshoots or something, that’s all I’m asking for on the Bugle side.”  Peter hung up the phone and sighed calling Gwen.

“No.”  Gwen said instead of hello as she answered the phone.

“Well hello to you too.  You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”  Peter scoffed.

“You were gonna ask me for the raw data on why the moth research origins since you knew I wouldn’t give you the information if you asked if there were any leads to Oscorp or Doctor Doom.”

“I was not.”  Peter said unconvincingly.  He totally was.  He was dying of boredom.  He’d let Johnny talk to him for 7 hours about his favourite spring trends. 

“You’re benched, Peter.  Besides what are you gonna do with a broken arm anyways?”  Peter was slightly offended by Gwen’s comment.  Even with a broken arm, he was still a very effective superhero.  He could do lots of things, or at least get the planning work done so he was ready to go the moment he was cleared.

“Umm charm Norman into admitting his company is kinda shady, maybe he doesn’t even know?” 

“…Umm-“

“He totally knows doesn’t he.”  Peter sighed. 

“Yep.”

“Ugh, do you think I have to tell Harry?”

“I think we shouldn’t tell Harry anything. Do you need to go after Oscorp right now anyways?  My gut tells me you should tap out.”

“But-“

“Broken arm.”  Gwen interrupted.

“Why does everyone keep throwing that in my face?  It’ll be fine in like another week, I think.”  Peter was pretty sure Reed wasn’t fully discharging him to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.  Most of his cuts had closed up pretty well and he probably couldn’t swing from building to building yet but he could probably get into a tame street fight if he was careful.  Peter had tried telling Johnny this, it didn’t go over very well. 

“Look, Pete, if it wasn’t Reed grounding you it would just be Aunt May - who I’m pretty sure is trying to come up with a punishment right now as we speak.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Besides you cleaned up Oscorp’s test sites really there’s just whatever Doom’s doing and that’s the Four’s turf anyways.”

“But-“